via Rational Male
You know, most of what constitutes an alpha isn’t how he relates with women, but how he stands in relation with other men. In fact, even looking at alpha as this intrinsic thing (while feel-good for the myopic crowd here) is very limited.
Alpha is relational between men, whether it’s two friends or a group. The reason no single definition of alpha exists is that you can have a marginal alpha nerd amongst two nerds, or you could have a natural who exhibits the intrinsic qualities frequently discussed in case studies like these who is the ineluctable beta next to a better specimen. You can ask any woman to identify the dominant guy in a group and they can tell you- and it’s a larger factor in determining their buying temperature than the man-&-woman PUA narrative represents. PUA allows for shortcuts, and circumventing the fact that a man is not a consistent alpha is one of these.
Intrinsic alpha qualities correlate with alpha standing though is less successful in practice than proscribed. I mean, how is it so frequently possible that woman, who does not study alpha, who does not hone her intrinsic qualities described by the community, so frequently come to dominate their partner?
I find there are two strategies in interpersonal argument, arguing through social domineering and arguing through arrival at the truth. Intelligent people gravitate towards articulating the truth as they see it or as it is useful, though intelligent people often develop social domineering skills as well since they are the more effective (especially around unreceptive audiences like women or the intoxicated). Social tactics are more efficient and determine social standing in a direct way (something nerds learn to avoid). A dark truth is that’s totally okay to be wrong as long as you’ve won through social tactics and make the other reason how to re-assert themselves- women do this all the time. The exact opposite of what truth-seekers prefer.
For example, there is a level at which a man identifies with alpha standing and develops strategies to undermine others and really commit to being unassailable- this often involves behavior distasteful to most men, especially intelligent men. How exactly does an alpha react to status checks? Does he pirouette out gracefully, or make a joke? Or does he employ two-eyes-for-an-eye and escalate so that you learn not to challenge him? Tyler Durden ‘spikes’ this behavior when a chick’s friend challenges him- it’s not natural to a genetic beta like him. It’s just one example though important- the game community doesn’t discuss man-on-man or man-on-men alpha tactics because it’s gay.
It’s a fantasy to think the intellectual or truth-seeker is intrinsically- or frequently in a relational context- the alpha. Like Dr. King Schultz in Django- it’s the fantasy of a nerd like Tarantino that logic, reason and truth-seeking will triumph in interpersonal conversation even against southern neanderthals. Venues for being smart rarely exist in society, and with women you have to win them over through social tactics before you get to impress her with your truth-seeking frame (which is just a data-point in her book, a datapoint of intelligent seed). So the enthusiastic truth-seeking that often occurs in these forums, it’s intrinsic merits aside, is symptomatic of people reacting to their low status or low SMV in the face of a cascade of content from our host that a pathway towards high SMV is possible. Not very far from a guy in LA talking about his Lambo or buying shots even though he knows it’s wrong, it’s people flexing what they do have in the face of failure. The social status dynamic y’all delight in is simply emergent.
It’s like how I destroyed AB Dada. I don’t know why I didn’t mention this earlier, but I was the trolls that embarrassed him and finally got that clown to leave. While there was some truth-seeking, it was the successful social domineering tactic of labeling him as a pathological liar (which he is), and pranking him under pseudonyms like Jesus and his own name which he failed to recover from that neutered him. Until you all internalize social tactics you will not frequently be the alpha in a social context, and you will not know alpha.
Team-Red: Same boat. IMO, most girls who are unattractive enough to where you aren’t interested in locking them down (or are online dating for that matter), have plenty of men around them who don’t see her as a worthwhile sexual investment and will tease or even be blunt about the limits of their interest, or communicate that other men’s interest will be limited as well. When you’re with someone you often treat them with sateen gloves, but other men don’t and if you level and say you’re not a match you’ll spike interest since it resonates as pure alpha- she’s ready for it trust me. If you want her as a backup then don’t say anything. It’s basic nature of man to only want someone really perfect or stimulating- i.e. love idealistically. Ignore what Kate said- head smacker to think woman doesn’t want man to position himself as a perfect match when they’re just meeting (ruining the fantasy). Classic don’t take relationship advice from women example.
I haven’t thought about game for a while. Lately it’s a marrow-deep disinterest in participating in the bar & club entertain-or-be-entertained routine (even though I’m always there- just been doing it too damn long). This sounds beta and probably appears that way 90% of the time. Expending more energy than those around you to achieve equal levels of social currency is a beta trait. It’s one of the reasons alpha asshole-ism exists, to make it draining for lower status men to hang around them. But really people who see earning attention in bars & clubs as an end in itself just don’t interest me any more. Now if I see a cutie I’ll introduce myself, perhaps creatively, and see if they’re vibing with my state and outlook. If not whatever, but if they do you have a real connection, assuming you know who you are and can speak from there. More enjoyable & ‘real’ than approach, line, roll the dice. There’s probably a happy medium I’m just not there right now mentally. All of this doesn’t come from negativity, btw, but zen. I used to pursue conversation, interaction and advice, but I know now I am more aware of what’s going on around me than others, that I can only add value and there is little for me to take. To outsiders I look lame, since they think inaction is due to beta lack of energy, then I have two or three conversations and leave with someone.
I didn’t mean to write that much on pickup since it means little to me at this point. I want to talk about the relationship between beta & alpha game, i.e. intimacy and.. idk dominance. Beta game, to be read as relationship building, is just as important as alpha game in turning a woman into a little girl prancing through a daisy field in your bed. Lots of guys reject beta game. Alphas reject it because they aren’t good at it, same way nerds reject jocking around to attract girls, they suck at it. Game aware Betas reject it, since they’re annoyed they have to invest more energy to get a girl than alphas. Well it’s cutting off your nose to spite your face. You’re not going to have sex because you don’t like that she likes you so much she wants to try and manipulate you into a relationship, versus just giving it up to a dirtbag. Chill, zen, take her to bed, know who you are decide not to get in a long term thing. Done, no fuss. Anyway.
In bed, dropping my energy level probably looks like beta game. I’m not duct taping her to bed posts. I’m not trying to slip a finger in her butt when she’s near orgasm. I’m enjoying myself, talking in a higher octave voice, controlling how she’s judging me but also soothing her. If a girl really really likes you she’s often going nuts on how to lock you down in a relationship. Actually girls are usually going nuts haha. Well, lie with her, hold her in your arms and stroke her temple, behind her ear. idk I hear I’m good with my hands. Talking becomes cooing. She’ll usually challenge that frame, not very hard though, just like an energy spike, or start talking about important things, just hold her and be zen and say relax. It’s pretty alpha, total control. She’ll recognize you’re putting her in a trance, but she’ll love it. She’ll feel girly. She’ll come really fast, and multiple times. She’ll fall in love when she leaves and will do anyythinnggg for another night, months and years later. So beta game has tons of merit done right. I did this with two different girls last weekend and they both reacted the same way.
To come full circle, have you ever had a girl try and challenge your frame when you’re being super alpha? Like in bed, being aggressive when it’s not part of an S&M game? When she tries to buck you, she fucking means it. It can blow up. The emotional conclusion is totally unclear- where are you taking her when you’re being abusive alpha? It can break down fast, and you lose. Her challenges are much more serious and shitty, we call them shit-tests at this point since things so frequently turn to shit. SAME THING in bars. YOu come at her super alpha, pickup line, kino, boom boom, panting like a dog, what always happens, SHIT test. She bucks you. You weren’t that alpha. You suck. Wellll, that doesn’t happen when you droppp your energy level. Be more zen, talk to her and say real things. Left eye to left eye without feeling like you’re staring or challenging. You can say more beta things and it’s congruent with frame so it doesn’t result in a shit-test, or you aren’t sheepish when it pops out of your mouth so it’s ‘cute’ and attractive (assuming she’s over 25). Personally, I think self-qualifying has tons of merit and is hugely attraction building when you’re meeting, where you’re (“indirectly”) highlighting you’re genius ✓, athletic ✓, funny ✓, have DHV’s ✓, rich ✓, special ✓, etc. Ultimately it’s about controlling her feelings. If you had a remote control over her emotions, where would you take her?
Anyway, end rant on total-control, edgy alpha/beta fusion game.