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Predicting How Married And Single People (Think They) Live And Love

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Scray
on January 31, 2013 at 6:27 am
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Phew…..crazy days. Oh yeah, a few notes before I start: all the names I use are fake, but thanks for looking out Yareally.

FR:

Last thurs:

Me and Mark are going to go out, when one of Mark’s friends hits him up. His friend Roger wants to come hang with us and talk to girls or whatever. So fine, after a sojourn at Roger’s house, we all head to the club. Mark has talked Ronnie up to me for awhile — ‘he’s slept with like 200 girls’ type of stuff. I was excited to meet him. Maybe I could learn something.

Turns out, Roger’s a really good looking guy. Whatever, he could still have mucho insight into the bodacious art scoring with chicks. We all get to the club and get inside. Roger elects to sit at some tables for a bit, and he says he’s gonna ‘show us the ropes.’ 30 minutes go by with him talking about life, and I’m starting to notice that none of this shit makes sense to me. It’s all woo-woo ‘just be yourself’ shit. Mark is enthralled, though. At the end of the half hour (I was checking), he lets slip that he ‘lets the girls come to him.’ At that point, I’m like ‘well I can’t learn anything from this guy.’ He starts talking more than a little shit about the whole cold approach attitude. I have my quota of sets to open, and I’m done talking to a dude who is going to just sit and stare at chicks all night.

I go and open a set — a 6, a 5.5, a 7, and a 7.5 at a table. By now, I can say the opener in my sleep, and I do the whole 45 degree angle, over the head style. I’ve also just started naturally talking really fucking loud. So, I address the 7.5. with the drug dealer opener.

Her: Hmmm, (a quirked grin) I don’t know, what do you guys think…

(her friends erect a wall of apathetic bitch pikes against my cavalry charge)

Me: (pointing to 5.5) Hey, are you a hairdresser?

5.5: (flat) No. None of us are hairdressers.

Me: (grinning huge) You’re a fucking firecracker.

6: You should go away.

Me: (feigning intense sadness, tilting head) Why?

(7 snickers, 7.5 is remaining silent…)

7: Well you know, we’re just all sitting here having some girl talk.

Me: Wow! I fucking love girl talk. Let’s dish: this one time, I tried to see how many times I could flick my ex-girlfriend’s tits before her nipples got hard. Turns out it’s 8….8 times.

(5.5 and 6 just look away, the 7 kinda keeps it apathetic, the 7.5 does the sloooow nod thing)

Me: (suddenly to the 7.5) What? Do you think I’m about to flick your nipples?

(She………..laughs!!!!!! YES!!!)

Me: Cause I’m fucking NOT. I just met you. And her (indicating the 7). That’s pretty forward to just fucking assume I’m gonna go on some kind of nipple busting rampage on some bitches I just met. For fuck’s sake.

(5.5 and 6 are kinda forced to be into it a little because the 7.5 and 7 are chuckling now)

5.5: Yeah well you’re being kind of creepy about everything.

Me: Whoa…calm down crazy.

I ripped this line from that one movie Silver Linings….it just kinda flew out of my mouth…worked pretty well. 5.5 was annoyed, but I feel the momentum starting to shift. Unfortunately, at around this time, 4 guys show up synchronously…like they had just rappelled down some sort of cockblocking black helicopter…and immediately escorted all of them to the dancefloor. I’m like, ‘ahhh fuck’ and just start to move on, when 7 turns.

‘Hey who are you?’

‘Oh…..Scray…’

‘Hey Scray, nice to meet you, I’m Renee….see you around.’

And then they were gone. Lame as it is, I was pretty psyched about this meaningless bit of politeness. Should I have asked for a number? Persisted? I don’t really know. It happened too fast, and it probably would have been a cold number anyway. However, I glance back to Mark and Roger — two girls are there — a 6 and a 6.5, pretty good. But, because Mark was my ride…I now had to leave because they were going to go home with these girls (I’m not paying for a cab…maybe I kind of bitched out :D ).

So night over for me :\

Friday:

I talk with this one mexican guy, Ted who seems to do well with girls. He seems like he’s a natural.

So anyway, Ted’s like ‘we haven’t hung out in awhile…let’s go to talk to some sloots.’ I’m down for it, why not? Ted shows up, and he’s like ‘guess where we’re going?’ And I’m like, ‘idfk.’ Ted grins ‘we’re going to Country Western Bar.’ Me, ‘wtf.’

During the LONG car ride to Country Western Bar…Ted reveals that he’s really into PUA and into the concept of frame control, etc. So, his big revelation to me?

Ted: You’re half-black, right? Really, all this is about is not being a puta — a bitch.

Me: Yeah, sure….okay.

Ted: Nah, a lot of guys fold under social pressure. Guys like us have it easy, we have an easy training ground.

Me: What?

Ted: We’re half-minorities…really whole minorities, what’s the difference.

Me: Okay….

Ted: We gotta get lots of people to call you a nigger tonight.

Me: ……………………………………………………………I don’t want to die, or anything.

Ted: Don’t be a bitch.

So……yeaaaaah. Really strange night. I mean, his whole idea is like ‘if you can successfully control yourself and — somehow — turn around a situation where people just fucking hate you on principle….what can stop you?’ Anyway…it was a really weird night. As you can imagine….my AA was in serious overdrive. Ted forced me into a set two girls, three guys, and it was fucking ridiculous. Liiiiike, there was this raunchy auburn haired cowgirl who probably called me a nigger like a bajillion times, and I mean….I just didn’t know how to handle it. She also asked insane questions, like ‘how big is your cock?’ ‘would you like me to suck that nigger dick?’ She was a 5…but the set was mixed, so I had literally NO CLUE how to fucking handle it. I was a Scraymouse.

Ted is some sort of insane person. Like…one of the dudes at one point was like ‘this goddamned anchor baby beaner,’ and Ted throws his head back, ‘yeah, all right, gomer pyle, bob hope eat a dick whoever the fuck you are…’ and everyone laughed their asses off.

My question now….I mean, that was an extremely uncomfortable environment for me. But at the same time…like, Ted just handled it like a goddamned champion. Is there something to his theory, or is Ted insane…or both?

Saturday:

I lost my ID at CW bar. I was planning on not going out, but there was an event at a club that 90% of the school social circle were attending. So…why not? I snag a paper copy of my driver’s license from my job and just decide to run a gambit.

It works, and I get in to the club with everyone else.

Only one set, and really, it’s a girl I somewhat know already. She’s been with two of the guys in my social circle already. She’s like a 6.5. I talk with her at the bar. So, my new thing that I’ve been trying out has been break-up/make-up. It goes really well with ‘I love you.’

Earlier, I had told her friend that I was going to spread a rumor that she was engaged to an Argentenian wiffle ball player named Rodrigo. So, I tell 6.5 to make sure she goes back to her friend and asks about Rodrigo. Then I just am like, also, tell your friend that I’m in crazy mad crazy love with her. And 6.5 laughs, and I’m like ‘THIS IS SERIOUS, SHE’S MY SOULMATE!’ Her eyes widen, and she nods.

So we get to talking, blah blah blah blah…and she mentioned that she liked a band that I liked. Naturally, I just move away like ‘im falling in love with you now, goddammit.’ She laughs. Then she’s like ‘yeah, they’re almost as good as Nickelback.’ Then I turn to her and am like ‘what the fuck is wrong with you? We’re broken up. FOREVER. DON’T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME. DON’T EVEN LOOK MY WAY!’ She covers her mouth, she’s laughing, and I look away. After a few seconds, I’m like ‘remember that time we broke up. listen, I didn’t mean all of that. You just make me really mad sometimes.’

And she’s like ‘oh, okay…well so are we back together?’

‘Yeah. For now.’ I’m still staring straight ahead.

After a few more minutes, she made me pinky swear to be in her group for some sort of thing we’re doing in a class we have together because she didn’t know anyone in that class. (I pinky sweared but I didn’t do it, she was annoyed :D ).

I also asked her at some point what friendship meant to her (shout out to whoever left that link to ‘good questions’). I was surprised at the in-depth answer I got out of her.

And then, three dudes from the way outer ambit of the social circle came and choded up the joint. We all were talking in a circle for a bit, and then there was the idea to dance. Three guys, one girl. She’s like ‘yeah, we can go to the dancefloor!’ She lead the way. In my mind I’m like ‘fuck this, I’m not running a race with these two chodes.’

So I bounce, get one of my friends, talk to some uggos for a few minutes while we get our bearings, then just leave.

Weds:

Still don’t have my new ID, but I’m just going to places that are lenient about carding. Today me and Mark go to a small club/bar. So, at this point, I’m deciding that my drug dealer opener is less me. I resolve to go direct, just enough to say ‘hey I came to talk because you seemed cool…’ then maybe after a minute or two, use the drug dealer thing to fuel conversation. I resolve to be more direct. State intentions.

I completely chode out. First set, girl at the bar. I look at her…she’s a 7.5. Sweet. I’m in perfect body language position, facing somewhat away, and I look over and say….
….

….
‘Hey did you get the bartender’s attention yet?’
‘No.’
/chodeoverandout

I just turn away lol. I blink a few times, like ‘wtf’ to myself.
Mark comes and stands next to me at the bar.

Another girl comes to my left, like a 6, to order a drink. I look over at her once. I try to form the words. NOTHING. I look over at Mark.

‘you’re a fucking idiot. just do it. what the fuck?’
I nod.

Then I just look over, and loudly say ‘SO WHAT DRINK YOU ORDERING? I’M DRINKING A BUD LIGHT. YEAH.’

She slowly turns her head, ‘yeah?’

I shrug, totally confused about wtf is happening to me. It’s like I’m falling back, which is bullshit, because I haven’t even gotten that far lol.

So, it turns out, through some disparate social circle connections, and a set that formed around Mark and I, that the 6 was in that group. Mark starts chatting them up…there’s two guys and two girls…the 6 and a 7.

I nurse my single beer…I feel like Maverick just drifting away from the dogfight in TopGun. I just can’t get my head into the game. Then, I just decide to go in there with fundamentals or something.

So, I walk into set — completely forgetting all Wing rules, much to Mark’s chagrin. I start talking to the 6 (probably should have distracted the obstacles, but fuck it, I need to get INTO the game). I look at 6′s beanie

‘I REALLY LIKE THAT BEANIE.’ said with just that kind of inflection.
She nods with grin ‘yeah, i like beanies so i don’t have to do my hair.’
‘NO. I’m the opposite, I like putting the beanie back so I still have to do something with my hair.’
‘ohhhh….well, my hair’s just kind of dirty cause I haven’t washed it today so I just had to use the beanie.’
‘that’s fucking disgusting. You’re gross.’
‘…yeaaaah…’
‘and with that bag you’re carrying and beanie you kind of look like you’re going to bomb the WTC’
she just continues to nod with an oooooooooooooookaaay grin.
I ask what’s in the bag, and she says something about a project.

‘A PROJECT FOR WHO…THE PRESIDENT?’
(yeah, I actually said this shit lol)
She shakes her head and says ‘no, like wax….you want to see some pictures?’
‘totally.’
She shows me the pictures, and this other guy is way into it. But me..I just say how I feel:
‘I don’t get any of that shit, but there’s a lot of colors…NICE.’

then the 7 interrupts, and then one of the guys invites us to go with them to a bar/club. However, it’s a bar/club with a strict ID. Goddammit. Set over.

So, I start walking away from that trainwreck of a set, and then I see my second legit 9 in field. I walk by and stop…45 degree angle, body language, blah blah blah.

Me: Hey, have they had a DJ here the whole night, or was there a band earlier?

Her: Oh, no it’s been a DJ all night…yeah I –

Me: Nah, fuck that. I just came over to talk to you because you seem sexy and I want to know if you’re cool, too.
(heartbeat warpspeed)

Now, here’s the little victory moment…and why I trust Yareally now. She leans back for a second, and her eyes widen, and she gets this quirky little smile.

Her: ‘Oh…’

Then, she looks both ways and dips her head a little

Her: I don’t know if that’s a good idea.

Me: Why, they don’t you let you talk to strangers in here?

She laughs. Cool man. And then…out of nowhere…this black dude gets straight up in my face, repeating ‘hey dude, don’t talk to her dogg, no disrespect, but don’t talk to her dogg, nah dogg, don’t talk to her, no disrespect’ repeated like a chode mantra over and over again.

I try to fly under the radar like ‘okay, okay…who are you, maybe we can all be friends?’ Maybe not so much under the radar because I’m pretty sure I kind of smirked when I said it….:D I actually don’t even think that was her bf…it was just some sort of devotee of the bf.

‘Nah we don’t need to be friends motherfucker, get the fuck on.’

Now, the 9 has watched the whole time…and her expression is serious, and I catch eyes with her. Then, I just kind of do a lackadaisical shrug…she grins. Then I do something, kind of stupid……
…I walk past her on my way out…
‘I tried to rescue you!’
“Motherfucker!” sayeth the black dude, starting after me along with two other dudes I didn’t notice before — like…seriously starting after me. I fucking bolt — Mark is on his way to wing me and I’m like ‘getthefuckoutnow!’

I’m pretty sure the bouncer at the door stopped him and let us run.

So yeah.

Thoughts:

Yeah man, all of that above looks lame as shit, but I dunno…for some reason I feel fine about it. I mean, the experiences alone are worth it. I definitely just do the ‘i love you’ ‘break up/make up’ stuff in everyday interaction more. I talk to a lot more people, actually. I also feel great, probably because of working out.

I can’t believe how difficult it was for me to direct open. That’s the kind of confidence I think I need to build. Now, it’s totally possible that I mistook the 9′s expressions and whatnot as her just being entertained rather than being intrigued — maybe!

I really think it all goes back to my sticking point of maybe not being sexual enough. No one wants to be a ‘creep’ I guess. But, I guess I’m definitely going to have to risk it to get better. These upcoming nights, I’m going direct. Hooo boy…..and then there’s Ted’s weird suggestion for building a strong, grounded frame.


  • YaReally
    on January 31, 2013 at 3:03 pm
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    lol got a bunch to say about your shit but I’m on my way out the door so check tomorrow.

    For now 1) welcome to having stories to tell lol and 2) watch the Tyler video I linked down below in this comment section, he talks about how he’ll start the night by approaching without trying, just saying whatever’s on his mind and retarded shit (like your “for the president?” shit), because that gets him into a social/fun expressive state where later in the night when he meets girls he’s into he’ll be feeling good AND be applying actual game.

    Julien talks about building momentum too in his latest vid, his speech is a little more energetic/funny than Tyler’s:

    You’re heading in a good direction bringing up sexual topics and getting out of the asexual role girls will put you in, and you’re learning which girl to bust on and when, to keep a group going, and building solid frame control to plow through awkward moments to get to the sweet rewards on the other side. Good stuff, remember this is a slow process, like losing 1 or 2lbs a week working out. :)

    Check tomorrow for a breakdown!



EBook Review: 60 Years Of Challenge

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Scray
on January 29, 2013 at 7:08 pm
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Hey Heartiste, what materials out there do you recommend that talk about creating attraction?

I feel like, because I’m starting at such a disadvantage when I meet any woman, I need to really have the tightest game in that area.


  • immoralgables
    on January 30, 2013 at 12:04 am
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    I have a challenge for you scray dog. The quote below is from YR. Read the PDF that is linked but just read 10 pages a day. Skip the Ross Jeffries and the part about the cube.

    If you do 10 pages a day for 90 days you should be good assuming you’re going out. If you want more pertinent material to your question (although MM collabo is solid) then read the archives here at the heartiste.

    “YaReally
    Ya, RSD’s video articles are great, specifically Tyler’s. Watch his whole archive of videos for a bunch of great stuff. His work is pretty much head of the pack in terms of progressing pickup as an art-form.

    Same time though, I got into the community in the old-school heavy tactics days and I think having a grounding in the old-school stuff underneath all the new “be shapeless like water” stuff helps a lot. Mystery Method was solid gold, but it’s a looooong read/watch. If you can handle that, great, but if not then I’d recommend LoveSystem’s “Magic Bullets” which is like a really condensed “only the important stuff” version of MM.

    Paul Janka’s “How to get laid in New York” is a good read (free PDF file) just to get a different perspective (he’s a natural and he does day-game in a really busy fast-paced city, he has some interesting takes on how he games).

    If you Google you can find “The Tyler Digest”, but I’d actually recommend this one instead or as well:

    http://www.dallaspua.com/files/mystery_method_collaboration_11.08.06.pdf (READ THIS SCRAY)

    David DeAngelo’s ‘77 Laws of Success with Women and Dating’ is
    It’s got a bunch of old-school writing from the top guys.

    That’s enough to get you laid like crazy if you go out and practice and apply it lol The only messageboards I can recommend are sedfast (fasterseduction) and LoveSystems’ board. The RSD boards are too full of retarded kids who are getting thrown out of bars, and other boards are too full of pussy “don juans” who don’t get laid.

    Good luck. ” -YR


    • Scray
      on January 30, 2013 at 3:22 pm
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      On it, thanks


      • YaReally
        on January 31, 2013 at 5:50 am
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        You keep dropping Field Reports on here, and I’ll keep breaking them down for ya.



Why Ask Why? Shun The Stale Seven Questions

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Days of Broken Arrows
on January 23, 2013 at 6:59 pm
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This is really good advice. And it works.

Back in my natural Alpha days (17-21), I would deliberately engage women in absurdist convos just to mess with them. I got the rep as a bit weird (NOT “creepy” weird, because I was always with beautiful women and cute myself), but they didn’t forget me and knew who I was around the dorms.

I’d start talking to women I didn’t know in the college dining hall about whether an ice cream sandwich counted as a meal. No? What about cereal? It has all the vitamins! Love those Golden Grahams. And what’s with Wilford Brimley and oatmeal?

People would be surprised at how this can be stretched into a long surreal dialogue with massive sexual tension and subtext. This can even start in one place and pick up the next week at a party, with the two people never knowing each other’s names. It’s much better than “what’s your major?” Bleh.


  • Kate
    on January 23, 2013 at 7:12 pm
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    Cereal is always a good banter topic :) The last time I was on match was two years ago. I was not using a picture, but I mailed back and forth with this guy about what aisle granola was in as a riff on my headline that said I was looking for a man who would dance in the grocery store. Just recently he popped up in my matches and I messaged him to see if he’d found it yet. TWO YEARS LATER he still remembered the conversation (even though he’d never seen my face) as well as the fact that there was a bet involved. If I was correct about what aisle the granola was in he had to help me replace lightbulbs and if he was right I was supposed to paint his garage. Well, after two years the mystery concluded. I lost the bet but he FINALLY asked for my number.


    • YaReally
      on January 23, 2013 at 9:14 pm
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      “I would deliberately engage women in absurdist convos just to mess with them.”

      This works (I do it too, I like to use sexual topics too) because you’re self-amusing. When you talk about cereal it’s not because you think that’s a “good banter topic”, it’s because you’re fucking around entertaining yourself and that sub-communication is what’s attractive to them, whether you’re talking about cereal, the Kardashians, rocket science, World of Warcraft, etc.

      Kate’s comment of it being a good banter topic is a good example of missing the sub-communication. She’s committing the same error of logic that newbies to pickup commit, where she places the power on the words and topic themselves instead of on the sub-communications. To her she comes out of the interaction thinking cereal is a good banter topic when in reality she isn’t aware that she was responding to the sub-communication of her interaction.


      • Scray
        on January 23, 2013 at 9:25 pm
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        • YaReally
          on January 25, 2013 at 1:14 am
          Original Link

          Wrote a few replies and a long-ass FR analysis for ya, the FR is in moderation so check for it before you head out Friday night. Main things incase it don’t show up are qualify the chick in your “I love you” routines (make her qualify, let her pass, then love her for passing), and drop in some sexual stuff like in my previous FR analysis.

          Good luck!


      • Scray
        on January 23, 2013 at 9:29 pm
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        Dropped a FR in the ‘portrait of modern SMP’ thread below. I think if I paste the link, wordpress will take a long time to filter it.


        • YaReally
          on January 23, 2013 at 10:10 pm
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          Cool, I’ll check it out after I finish my work shit for the day. Check tomorrow sometime!



The Modern Sexual Market In A Picture

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Scray
on January 22, 2013 at 1:25 pm
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FR:

Nothing much this week, but I did get out there and made a point of talking to randoms.

Thursday:

Mark is like ‘oh this bar is going to be packed with college hotties, let’s go.’ I’m like ‘okay.’ We get there. Guess what isn’t packed? The bar. There’s like no one there. Soon enough, though, a group of people we knew arrived. It was like 9 guys and two girls. Mark tries to talk to one of the girls, she’s lukewarm on him (and she knows him). Then, my other friend arrives with a girl — not sure if he’s boning her. Anyway, spent most of the night hanging out with them instead. Kind of annoying, for sure.

Friday: So, got invited to a skiing/snowboarding trip with social circle. I’m like ‘sure.’ We go. It’s pretty fun. Friday is spent driving there, mostly.

Saturday: After snowboarding, we go to the only bar in the little ski town. I was going to be pissed again, because when we got there, we were the only ones there. But people started arriving soon enough. So, I’ll try to recreate my approaches, and for fun, I’ll try to just put a little ‘how much I had drank by that point’ by the set.

Set 1: (1 beer)
I approach them, there’s a middle-aged woman (does not even register on attractiveness scale to me), two young women, and an older guy. My first legit mixed set. I realize that the bar is going to have a mustache party later, so my opener is just ‘I don’t see any mustaches here — I don’t know if you know this, but I’m the party patrol. The bar hired me to check up on people like you…’

They like it. The middle aged woman really goes for it…blah blah blah. She starts asking me what race I am, compliments me on my eyes, whatever. She then introduces me to everyone at the table. The young woman on the left is like a 5.5, and the one on the right is like a 6.5. For now, I just spend time talking to the middle-aged woman and the guy.

Then, the bartender walks up — she’s got on a mustache — and she puts her hands on her hips. I’m like ‘what’s up, Luigi?’ She stares at me for a second, and is like ‘you’re cut off.’ I just kinda laugh. Long story short, she ends up drawing a mustache on my face. I figured that could be some sort of DHV in front of the set. However, lest I start falling into dancing monkey status, I leave (I decide to make the set a homebase).

Set 2: (2.5 beers)

A legit 7 (she’s like in her early-mid 30′s, so 10 years ago she was probably a 7.5) and her friend are at a table. I just use the same opener on them. They’re a little chillier to it, but friendly. The 7 seems warmer than her friend (chubby, in a pink shirt). I don’t do anything beyond the opener (I’m not going to force conversation). I leave on a good note, figuring maybe I’ll get at them later.

Return to Set 1 (3.5 beers):
Now, I take a seat next to the 6.5 and start talking to her. I’ve grown pretty fond of saying shit like ‘you’re my dreamgirl’ or ‘I think I just fell in love with you, so here’s what we’re going to do….’ with a kind of smirk. Her first reaction to me sitting next to her and saying ‘listen, it’s possible you could be my dream girl,’ was ‘what? you don’t even know me. I could be crazy.’ I look at her for a few seconds, ‘ohhh….you’re crazy? That sucks, I guess I was wrong.’ She laughs ‘no, I’m just saying.’ I nod slowly…’what -are- you saying, exactly? You’re starting to freak me out.’ I say it with a chuckle, and she laughs. So, blah blah blah…she drops the bomb that she has a daughter.


At this point it’s just like ‘who gives a shit’ in my mind. I lose interest. So I just kinda get her facebook and put my number in her phone. I don’t get her number.
I turn attention to the 5.5, who seems open to liking me, but I just think to myself about how much time I want to invest in a 5.5. So, again, I leave the table to circulate.

Return to Set 2:
I’m kind of hazy as to how I ended up on the dancefloor. But I know that I wasn’t dancing with the 7 at first, and I ended up dancing with her. And it was definitely grindy/sexy. She turned around to face me and put her hands on my shoulders, and then her chubby friend pulls her away. By now, Set 2 has grown to like 5 girls. I blink a few times…one of my friends tries to dance with the chubby girl, but she’s not having it. I’m wondering what the deal is. But who cares, I’m not going to linger on the dancefloor like a chode.

Set 3:
(5 beers in)
I approach this one girl, and instead of doing the party opener. I just go direct, like ‘hey, what’s going on over here?’ I must have totally telegraphed all intentions on the girl. She was like a 6.5, pretty cute. Anyway, she deployed full bitch shields. She said she was a lesbian, then she said she was there with one of the guys in her group. I actually turn and realize that there are three guys there with her. Inwardly I’m like ‘hahaha look at these white knight bitches.’ And so, anyway, one of the guys she says she’s there with (I totally don’t think it was true — however, I don’t know for sure lol). She gives me this icy stare, and I just kind of grin ‘man, that’s great…I just want to be friends. You seem so…..warm.’ Now, don’t get me wrong, she hated me right there…like, she was pissed. However, I feel like if I would have been able to say something, like a tension defuser, I would have completely won her and the table over. Alas, I was a mere mortal and had to eject shortly thereafter.

Return to Set 2 (still 5 beers in)
I see the 7 again, and I start talking to her. I’m like ‘hey, where’d you go on the dancefloor?’ Then little fat pink rushes in ‘SHE’S MARRIED.’ And I just blink, with a laugh ‘WHAT? I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS. You know….’
I look at the 7 in the eye ‘…cuddle on the couch, and talk about feelings and shit.’ The 7 is like ‘yeah, you want to be friends, eh?’ I give a slight nod ‘the best of friends.’ Fat pepto bismol is quick to say that all of them are married. So I try to address the obstacles, but it’s kind of too late. I just say I want to be friends with them, blah blah blah blah.

My friend tries to help again with the obstacles. He talks to them for awhile, and they like him. However, during this time, I can’t find where the 7 is. Probably with some player. Mission failed.

Set 4:
(5.5 beers in)
A 6.5 and her little chubby friend are there by the bar. I stop them, using the party patrol opener. The 6.5 instantly seems to like me. She didn’t seem that drunk, but then again, I was already several beers in. So, I just decided to ignore her IOI’s because she could have been drunk. Positive interaction, I tease her, use the whole dreamgirl routine. Seems to go over well, then I focus on her friend for awhile. So, I got her number and everything…and then I just left. I probably talked to them for like 5 minutes. In retrospect, I don’t know why I didn’t stay. Needless to say, she flaked :D

Set 5 (7 beers):

By now, I’m sloppy as shit. I only include this to be kind of funny. I walk over and talk to two girls. Opener is party patrol. They are…polite. Friend sits down, and we start talking to both. They’re like 6′s. They slowly start to warm — just a little. And then at this point, the other two girls in the Set appear. A 7 and a 5. The 7 is a raging bitch ‘you’re in my seat, get out of my seat NOW…we’re here together we don’t want you here.’ My friend leans back, stunned. Now, I realize that the 7 is an obstacle (didn’t know she existed, so now that’s what she is to me lol), so I try to address her. She ain’t havin’ it. The two original girls kind of shrug and are like ‘yeah maybe you guys should just go.’ So clearly whatever opening shit we did wasn’t effective/or they just weren’t having it. My friend ejects…and I move, allowing her to get into her seat. But I’m not done yet. It’s my full intention now to get blown out of this set. The 7 gets up out of her chair to talk to some chode, and I immediately sit down again. She turns around and I’m like ‘OH IS THIS YOUR SEAT…DAYUUUUUM!’ Twice, I’ve gotten a girl to just HATE me in a night. I’m not talking the apathetic ‘whatever dude.’ We’re talking ‘I want to kill you.’
Annnnnywayyyyys, I just ejected after that.

There was another set of Asian chicks who were into me, but I don’t count them because my friend said that they were like a 5 and a 4. And I was actually drunk by that point. So who cares.

Observations:

I definitely feel like I’m gaining status within the group. I mean, the equation just seems to be ‘do cool/bold/fun things…people like you more.’ I also don’t even care if someone says ‘that girl HATED you’ or whatever. Because in my mind I’m just like ‘yeah, who have you talked to cold…ever? You warm approaching pussy piece of shit.’ :D
Speaking of that, a girl in my social circle that went on the trip did say that ‘yeah, it’s been cool getting to know you better. You’re actually a really cool guy, I mean, I’d date you.’ Now, in my mind I actually know that she knew me the exact same before now (we didn’t interact particularly much)…so, I mean…it just seems to be me starting to change.

I actually noticed that when a set is going well for me…for example, the 5.5 in the first set — I ran into her several times and had good times — I tend to just say ‘who cares, I want to challenge myself’ and immediately start looking for hotter/better girls.

I dunno what it is, but maybe it’s the combo of working out and adrenaline in the cold approaches, but it’s pretty cool. Like, I’m starting to build internal validation…taking more chances. Putting myself out there, so to speak. Mark and I know a natural who got into PUA to get even better, and what he said makes sense: “at first, people are going to hate on you for trying to improve yourself. But that’s good, because now it means you’re on their radar, and the reason you’re on your radar is because you -could- possibly surpass them or become cooler than them in some way. Even your best friends don’t tend to like this very much. So, expect lots of shit talking about game, and contradictory bullshit about what’s ‘organic’ and what’s ‘artificial.’ Then, people are going to grudgingly accept your success — maybe they’ll just attribute it to luck or whatever. But eventually, if you keep on with it, they’ll ask you for tips and accept it.’


  • Newly Aloof
    on January 22, 2013 at 2:50 pm
    Original Link

    Good for you, Young Buck. You know of Game, you’re putting in mileage, and you’re going to the gym. Only a matter of time for you. (I’d suggest some MMA too. When you can choke most dudes out, it will show in your eyes and demeanor, then you won’t have to chase chicks as much since they will sense/smell your badassness)


    • Scray
      on January 22, 2013 at 2:54 pm
      Original Link

      Is that possible? I mean, I’m 5’4. I have a hard time imagining MMA as this thing that allows a 5’4 man to learn how to choke the shit out of a 6’2 dude.


      • YaReally
        on January 25, 2013 at 12:55 am
        Original Link

        “Is that possible? I mean, I’m 5’4. I have a hard time imagining MMA as this thing that allows a 5’4 man to learn how to choke the shit out of a 6’2 dude.”

        Ya lol It’s possible. I know some guys that if you met them you’d be like “this skinny little wirey guy knows how to fight? No way.” But they get in the ring and they’re like fucking spiders grappling. They can’t go blow for blow out-punching a bigger guy, but a lot of martial arts and fight training is based around strategy and body-mechanics, not strength.

        Everyone knows Tyson’s knock-out power, but his defense was fucking solid and let him set up for those knock-out punches:

        Taking MMA/boxing/martial arts/etc. up is cool, it helps build your confidence and give off an “I can handle myself” vibe, and it teaches you to be aware of signs of aggression etc. which helps you spot potentially dangerous situations in advance and avoid them or calm them down with social skills…

        But it’s not something you NEED to do, because ideally you’re learning a skillset that makes you socially savvy enough to avoid fights entirely, to turn-around and befriend people who hate you (girls shit-testing you, guys who have a beef with you, etc.), and avoid or chill out situations that might get out of hand.

        I’ve never had a guy actually take a swing at me, but I’ve been in potentially dangerous situations where the guy ALMOST takes a swing. It’s rare, but it happens by the nature of what I do (hitting on girls via cold-approach)…but the thing that’s saved me every time has been my social skill-set and understanding how to psychologically diffuse someone or socially intimidate them long enough to get away, not the McDojo Karate classes I took as a kid lol

        But if it’s something that looks like fun and interesting to you, definitely check it out. It’s a good workout on top of confidence-building so it’d help your weight-loss goals too.


  • anon
    on January 22, 2013 at 3:24 pm
    Original Link

    What’s impressive about getting drunk, talking to stupid/ugly/boring people, and making women hate you? Boring and worthless as FUCK, every way you look at it– what a complete waste of flesh. Why bother wasting your life on cretins like this? What the fuck is the point? You would have been happier if you spent your money/time getting a massage or sexing up a hooker. Or, you know–God forbid–actually doing something interesting and productive like a real man would.

    Yep. Hell IS other people.


    • Scray
      on January 22, 2013 at 3:45 pm
      Original Link

      Lol, well if you don’t get it, then you don’t get it.


      • Puma
        on January 22, 2013 at 4:08 pm
        Original Link

        Scray I think the biggest problem with everything is not your game but your height. Think about the way you write off chicks that are overweight- it’s the same for girls regarding your height.

        My suggestion: Tighten up your appearance. Wear nicer clothes and if you can pull it off, rock a 5 o’clock shadow. Also invest in nice shoes- I wear expensive (not necessarily flashy) shoes and believe me, women notice.

        Good shoes brands: Allen Edmonds, Tod’s, Ralph Lauren Purple Label, Church’s, etc.

        Since you can’t DHV with your height- try it with your clothes AND your game.


        • Scray
          on January 23, 2013 at 7:11 pm
          Original Link

          Scruff doesn’t look good on me. I’m constantly working on my fashion sense and trying to wear cooler clothes, so yeah…I’m with you, but you know, it’s a process just like going to the gym/losing weight/etc.

          I don’t doubt that the biggest problem with everything is probably my height, but I can’t do anything about it lol. All I can do is try to make everything else as good as possible. So yeah, thx.


          • YaReally
            on January 25, 2013 at 1:09 am
            Original Link

            “I don’t doubt that the biggest problem with everything is probably my height, but I can’t do anything about it lol. All I can do is try to make everything else as good as possible.”

            Basically this lol The thing is you can overcome a lot of the drawbacks of your height when you understand how attraction really works and specifically WHY tall guys get attraction easier than short guys. When you can communicate the same things a tall guy does, your height will still probably shoot you down here and there, but you’ll be amazed at how little a difference it actually makes.

            When PUAs get good, we start doing stuff like going out looking sloppy or wearing shitty clothes or basically sabotaging ourselves looks-wise or going for girls that most people would think wouldn’t be attracted to us and forcing ourselves to game like we normally would, so when we still end up getting good results, those reference experiences drill into our brain how little the superficial stuff matters.

            That’s why I have the strong belief that looks are pretty much irrelevant. I have the experience to back it up first-hand, and I’ve met and seen enough different types of guys gaming in-field to have racked up tons of experience second and third-hand that they don’t really matter.

            But the guys who don’t go out and don’t have those reference experiences will shout me down and call me brainwashed and all that shit. I know I can pretty much ignore those guys and write them off as Keyboard Jockeys because if you’re going out a lot and your game is solid and you meet and hang out with a variety of guys with game and see them running their game and even compete with them for fun, you come to the same conclusions I have and other PUAs have.

            One of my favorite quotes from Tyler is that when he comes across cool guys with hot chicks, what’s the first thing he does? He tries to take the girls from him lol so he can see how the guy tools him and learn from it and learn to handle social pressure. That’s the mindset of someone who shatters limiting beliefs and learns first-hand “okay a skinny nasally-voiced pale 5’8″ balding ginger with ADD *CAN* take girls off these guys with solid game.” The Keyboard Jockeys would never have the balls to try that so they sit and circle-jerk about how important looks are lol

            Do the best with what you’ve got, especially at the start, and sharpen your game from there.



Hotter Women Equals Better Sex: Science Weighs In

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on January 12, 2013 at 4:59 am
Original Link

OP: Makes sense!

Field Report, Friday:

Today is a group day. Have a huge group going downtown, we’re gonna hang out, mingle, etc. Cool thing is, we’ve got three chicks who are a lock to be down there with all of us. I’m thinking ‘good, a home base maybe.’

Another friend of mine — let’s just call my PUA-ey friend ‘Mark’ and my other friend ‘Roy,’ and my ‘naysayer’ friend ‘Rich.’ Anyway, the point is, Roy — hearing about these exploits (I trust him to keep them confidential and he’s a good guy), wants to join us in them. Rich — the guy who says sarging is gay and always have a group — is the one responsible for getting us the chicks. I invited a few, but one was ‘sick,’ the other was a ‘maybe’ (she’s a 4 so whatevz), and the last — which brings her group of 4 chicks everywhere — decided to somewhere else.

Me, Roy, and Mark arrive to venue 1. We walk to the back where live music plays. Rich has already engaged a target and is talking with her, sitting down. I get the hint that he wants to be alone, but for whatever reason, Mark lingers. Roy just has no fucking clue — his first instinct is to drink. I decide not to babysit him, and I get to the task of opening sets. First set, on my way back to the main room. 3 girls, hipster 6.5 and two 7′s —- I actually like the 6.5 better because of her style (nah just kidding, I saw her first).

I give them the drug dealer opener — I’m sort of pleased with my delivery. So now, they do the same thing all of them do, apprehensively turn a bit to consider. Almost no enthusiasm. In the middle of their explanations, I transition to hairdresser bit. Still tepid — she’s like ‘no.’ And I mean, she’s like ‘-NO-’ I continue moving forward, trying to engage the group.

“Now that i have you all here, what about a green mowhawk….?” Blah blah blah she’s hot, blah blah blah I want to trust her. The 6.5 sort of cuts me off, fairly quickly ‘yeah no, don’t get the mohawk. I like how you have it now.’ But it’s flatly delivered. By this point I practically feel blown out, but fuck it — you know?

I launch into another little routine

“You’re the bad ones, and she’s the good one. I know she’s wearing the leather jacket, but she’s the good one.”

There’s laughter here, but it’s kind of nervous. I fucked up somewhere along the way — OR they’re just not digging me. I can’t think of anything else to say in the face of such a neutral, bordering on several IOD’s, set. So…I remember what Mark said “Listen, if you have to leave…don’t say something stupid like ‘nice meeting you,’ because that’s an admission of defeat. Just say like…’cheers, the night is young.’ Never communicate defeat.” So, I do just that ‘cheers the night is young,’ and I eject. I realize that A2 is probably going to be a significant challenge — shit, the Hook point is probably still a challenge, despite whatever luck I had.

I walk into the bar, make a quiet — SLOW — circuit. I try to look around, distracted as I move. I notice this set of filipino/asian girls. Why the shit not? Logistically, it’s the only set that makes sense. None of them are above a 5.5, so who gives a shit.

I pull the same routine — phew, are they not having it. Like, just not having it. I plow on, I get to the DHV story, I do the whole ‘good v bad.’ Nothing much — they seem uncomfortable. I figure ‘hey, either they just don’t like me, or I can work on coming across less -awk-”

Next set, back in the live music area. I approach Rich — who is still talking with a girl, she’s like a 5 (puffy cheeks, but hipster style). Mark is STILL standing there near them. He talks to me for a second. I notice a set of girls — can’t see them well — I step away to open.

Same routine, there’s three of them. A 7, a tiny little 5, and a 7.5. Here it goes. Turns out, the 7 (target) is actually a hairdresser. Cool! I transition from green mohawk talk to explaining that my hairdresser friend is crazy — ‘are you crazy like her?’ She’s quick to say ‘oh yeah we’re crazy’ blah blah blah. I tell the story, I add what Ya said to add — like the part of about not hitting him because he’s too ugly and the guy apologizing. She seems to go with it and laugh, but my gut says ‘polite.’ I ask her what she does for fun (yeah probably lame as phuck, but whatevs). She talks about how she goes here, and I just kind of laugh with a shrug. Then, she says she plays Soul Calibur. She asks if I know what that is…I say yeah, I used to play that — and other fighting games —- with an ex-gf all the time.

By now, the 7.5 has turned away, and Mark comes in to engage the 5 — cool. I continue talking. I say ‘well we could play sometime, but….you’re probably a bad loser.’ And she’s like ‘yes, I am!’ She actually gets the attention of her other friend ‘aren’t I a really bad loser?’ blah blah blah. And I’m like ‘yeah, it’d be cool to play, but I don’t want you throwing the controller everywhere.’ And she’s like ‘well I don’t curse usually…’ I’m like ‘psh…you know you do.’ She’s like ‘well only when I lose!’

Now, some other chick comes in — also hot, like a 7.5 — to talk. She seems pretty unimpressed with me. I try to include her, yadda yadda yadda, before I know it, they’re all walking to the dancefloor, save the 5 who is still talking with my friend. Mentally I’m just like ‘goddammit.’

I ain’t done yet.
I walk back into the quieter area, and I open a set. Bad news — dim lighting made a 4.5 and a 5.5 look like a 6 and 7 in profile. So they turn, and I instantly am like ‘man FML.’

But I run the routine — it’s going pretty well I guess. They’re both hairdressers — go figure, I’m on fire. Fairly soon I run out of things to say, and not that I’m some sort of Don Juan who could have fucked them if I tried, but I just lost steam. I didn’t want to fuck them, so I just kinda maintained some friendly convo for a few minutes. I noticed that the 5.5 touched me several times, but she could have been drunk — and I didn’t care. So I eject soon enough.

Time to change venues!

Venue 2, right across.
Walk in and open a set of three girls. 6, 7, 6.5. It’s icy as phuck. If the first said seemed extremely neutral, this one is borderline ‘naaah not interested’ in every iota of body language and tone. But I move it through the material — at the very least they can be practice.

Whatevs, time to keep on moving. We see people we know soon enough (this is what I hate about downtown, I always see at least 5-15 people I know, and they distract me from the MISSION!). So, there’s these two girls…one’s like a 4 (kinda chubby but she tries to dress nice and is uber feminine and is super nice), and the other is like a 5.5. Me and Mark make some idle chit-chat, and the 4.5 compliments me on how I look — handsome blah blah blah blah.

Next set after that timesuck is three girls. One’s a 7, the other two are like 6.5′s. I do the drug dealer line, and then the one in the center- — 6.5 — is like ‘wait do YOU have weed?’ she gets in my face and grabs my blazer. I notice she’s sloppy. Goddammit, a drunk chick. I say ‘all of it. All the world’s weed.’ She’s like ‘yeah right! You don’t have any weed.’ Then I shrug and am Iike ‘I don’t even know what weed is.’ Then she’s just like ‘get the fuck out then!” And she pushes me away, but then I turn around, faking shock, and she’s like ‘I’m…I’m just kidding.’

So, I blow through hairdresser routine, DHV story — it’s some polite conversation. I pull the good v bad card. I get to know what all of them do. They’re lukewarm. They all tell me what they do, and the 6.5 legit says something that intrigues me — I tell them I’m almost done with law school ,and she says she almost went to law school to do environmental law. That’s a subject near and dear to my heart. So I’m like ‘wouldn’t it be some shit if crazy 6.5 was the girl of my dreams, hahahahaha.’

I decide to switch targets to the 6.5 (whatever, she’s drunk, may be easier, she’s also kino’d me several times — not that that means shit when she’s sorta hammered). So I’m like, “who’s your favorite ninja turtle?” She’s like “ninja turtles, what the fuck?” I turn away from her a bit “Whaaaaaat…well, I thought you were her, but maybe not.” Her friend intercepts and is kind of advocating for her a little bit. Then 6.5 is like ‘okay, okay, Leonardo.’ And I’m like ‘okay…well that earns you another question….how about animals?” It’s hard to hear, and her answer was about kittens—she’s a dog person — but I remember — don’t lean in — so I have to ask like 3 times to hear wtf she said. Here, the set sort of nosedives. I just think I’m failing to build legit attraction….it seems pretty hard with three or more girls there. I honestly don’t remember, but at some point I was joking about the drunk girl being girl of my dreams, and then the 7 is like ‘she was ready to push you down a few minutes ago!’ and I’m like ‘oh yeah…whoa…’ and she’s like ‘yeah, you better get out of here.’ Not long after that, I kinda just tried to get the hint and move on to other pastures.

Next set!
This is actually funny. So I see these two asian chicks sitting near the bar, and I pull out the same routine. SURPRISE, SURPRISE — they were part of the group at the earlier bar. I didn’t even realize it until she was like ‘yeah…….we heard this before…except, my other friend was the hairdresser.’ I blink…then I just laugh my ass off. I get their names because I’m like ‘well we just shared an experience…”

Unfortunately, at this point, I was summoned to a table at the back by my friends, and the 4 told me to sit beside her. So I did. She kinda complained “usually there’s like 15 guys I want to fuck at a bar, but tonight…nothing.” I don’t give a shit, so I’m like ‘yeah, tryin’ to bang girls, tryin’ to bang guys can be tough.’ She complimented me several times on shit I ain’t interested in…like ‘you’re really nice, you’re so sweet.’ BARFORAMA. Later she’s like ‘see that guy, I want to fuck him.’ I’m like ‘nice! you should go do it.’

Meanwhile, somehow everyone lost track of Roy. Roy has just done nothing the entire night. But I text him and tell him where we are. The 4 is like ‘oh I don’t like him, he acts like he’s too good for everyone.’ I’m like lol. When he gets there, I have them talk, then I leave to make another circuit. On my way, I run into that earlier set — the 6.5′s and the 7. I’m just like ‘you guys again?!’ Blah blah blah…I call the drunk 6.5 crazy, and she’s like ‘call me crazy again and I’ll…I’ll punch you…’ and I fake a gasp, then she hugs me and is like ‘I’m just so drunk.’ So, she’s drunk, her friends ain’t into me, so I bounce.

There were other people we talked to, but they were people we knew, and to be honest, who even gives a shit?

Friday’s thoughts:

Eh….still having trouble with A2 obviously. I’m thinking about getting something else to say along with the hairdresser line. On the plus side, at this point I really don’t give a fuck about approaching. I mean, I get the butterflies, but I just do it. The last two nights maybe spoiled me a little in that I just was like ‘man, I got numbers…any night now I’m just gonna get a makeout/first night lay/wooooooooooooooooo!’ Lol.

Not the case. Still tripping over some basic shit. Kinda think that the sets that have gone well have gone well because the chicks were just open to my looks etc. But then again, those could just be negative thoughts after a nonstarter night like this.

Also, it kind of sucks to go somewhere where a lot of your friends are, because they just eat a lot of your time. Like, if they don’t know what’s up. And I mean….it’d be one thing if they were some hot girls or whatever but ehhhhhh…..:D


  • YaReally
    on January 12, 2013 at 12:34 pm
    Original Link

    “The last two nights maybe spoiled me a little in that I just was like ‘man, I got numbers…any night now I’m just gonna get a makeout/first night lay/wooooooooooooooooo!’ Lol.”

    This will fuck with you FOREVER. There’s a bunch of psychology involving the ego and outcome dependence and validation shit involved in it but basically this will mess with you over and over for the rest of your days going out lol. It’s sort of the universe’s way of keeping you humble.

    Tips for tonight:

    You’re engaging them now which is a step up but the vibe of “if you don’t run away, you’re in serious danger of me fucking your brains out” isn’t there yet. You’re getting lukewarm responses because the interaction goes sideways in limbo instead of forwards and the girls see you as asexual and not a threat, which is fine if they just meet you via your social circle on a random Tuesday but when they’re out drinking at a bar hoping to get fucked, if you’re not progressing toward that you’re just taking up time that they could be investing in a guy who will fuck them, know what I mean? Sort of the same vibe that you have when your friends are sucking up your sarging time and you’re like “hey ya cool man that’s great but I gotta go to this place with this thing to do this stuff, later!!”

    For example what’s the difference between this:

    “I tell them I’m almost done with law school”
    “who’s your favorite ninja turtle?”
    “okay…well that earns you another question….how about animals?”

    And this:

    “I’m like ‘who the FUCK is out here?’”
    “‘fucking right, you pop the collar when you’re bringing the funk.’”
    “So I just stop and look straight at her ‘I will FUCK the shit out of you.’”

    …aside from the F-Bombs lol. Like in terms of Intent and dominating the set.

    See what’s happening now is girls don’t hate you anymore and your ego likes that, so it’s chasing validation and you flip from “fuck it I’m going to say and do whatever I want and if she has a problem with that, fuck her” to “why isn’t this hairdresser routine working like last time?? They don’t seem into me quick what else can I throw at them so that hopefully they’ll validate me??”

    The girls from last night had no idea you have a cock. :) End result is friendly polite interactions but no attraction.

    See as a short guy you’re kind of like an Asian where by default they’re going to categorize you as “not someone to think about sexually” because it’s not something they’re used to since most short guys are lame and insecure and asexual “dancing monkey” clowns in the group. So much like an Asian (hit up YouTube and watch some Simple Pickup videos with Kong), you need to shit all over their expectations and not allow them to label you as asexual…which is what you did with the “fuck the shit out of you” girl, there was no question in that girls mind that you have a cock and would slap her around with it lol vs the ninja turtle girl who’s like “why are we talking about this??”

    So, tonight keep your routine stack going but now try adding something with Intent to your toolbox, so they know you have a cock and aren’t their little brother. (this is another reason hotter girls are better, it’s way easier to come off sexual because you legit WANT to fuck them)

    The simplest ways of adding this in are thru innuendo, misinterpretation (interpreting things she says in a sexual way) and sexual roleplaying. Your “I love you” stuff from before was good because that showed some Intent but it still wasn’t SEXUAL.

    So now you want it to look more like drug dealer, hairdresser, (sexual stuff), cold-read her, (misinterpretation), DHV story, qualify her, (show sexual intent).

    So off the top of my head maybe take the hairdresser story and give her a reason for wanting to fuck with you. “Green Mohawk blah blah…but I don’t know if I trust her. I kind of pissed her off because we hooked up a while back and I didn’t call her back so I have a feeling she’s just fucking with me for revenge now lol what do you think?”

    (girls say their answer)

    “Cool. Have you ever had a guy not call you the day after you hook up? I think she’s overreacting but I know I can be a dick sometimes.”

    (girl blabbing)

    “Wow really? You’re totally the clingy type aren’t you lol are you going to be hanging out outside my bedroom window every night and leaving me drunk voicemails?”

    (whatever reaction, tease her and roleplay here a bit then cut her off)

    “Honestly the reason I didn’t call her…well I shouldn’t tell you it’ll make me sound like an asshole lol (tell me!!!) okay well she honestly wasn’t very good in bed…but she thinks she’s hot shit and has no idea and I don’t think anyone will tell her because she’s hot lol what do you think, should I be honest about it or just avoid her? I really don’t even want to hook up with her again lol”

    Now this isn’t going to get you laid, but it’s going to take you down a different path than your routine stack has been taking you down so far. The main purpose of this is just to demonstrate to yourself “okay if I talk about ninja turtles and puppies I end up in this place and the vibe has this feeling…but if I talk about sex and hooking up, I end up in THIS place and the vibe has this other feeling.”

    A lot of pickup is about guiding and redirecting the flow of the conversation toward your goal. So if the girl talks about sex, cool, you can sit back and let that river flow. But if she’s talking about puppies you throw in a little innuendo by misinterpreting something she said in a sexual way and now you’ve guided that river back on course.

    Now keep in mind this stuff will get you blown out harder and shit-tested more and it’ll feel incongruent at first, which sucks because its like “but I want results naaaooowwwww!” but remember we’re looking at this long-term, you could spend all winter just getting this down before you start getting laid. We’re talking 1000 sets not 20, you know? Down the road you’ll be more consistent, like these days I can open and build basic attraction with most sets no problem, but my game/state is pretty consistent from going out a lot…as a new guy your game/state is going to fluctuate like crazy through massive highs and lows all night long until you start to stabilize it. It’s like someone throwing their first few punches of their life vs a boxer who’s been training for a while. They’re both punching but the boxer’s accuracy is going to be consistent compared to the wild swings of the other guy.

    Also remember that getting more polarized reactions is okay because we know passing shit-tests builds attraction so down the road you’ll be able to pass their shit-tests and capitalize on the emotional roller-coaster you put them through.

    But right now you’ll probably just get blown out a bunch…but hey getting blown out by a 9 for telling her you fucked your hairdresser is more fun than sitting inside playing Xbox alone. :)


  • YaReally
    on January 12, 2013 at 12:36 pm
    Original Link

    Got some advice in Moderation, check this spot before you head out tonight, hopefully it gets approved in time for you to apply it tonight lol


    • Scray
      on January 12, 2013 at 8:22 pm
      Original Link

      Update: Rich’s girl wasn’t a cold approach. He had met her before, several times. Lol


      • YaReally
        on January 16, 2013 at 10:48 am
        Original Link

        Just wanted to address this quick:

        1) His girl was a 5 give or take, and 2) He knew her from before.

        You’ll find the naysayer types, even if they get laid a lot, tend to be getting laid by average-at-best chicks and like 90% of the time it’s from their social circles.

        Pay attention to who, of your friends, LEGITIMATELY cold-approaches and pulls and you’ll find that it’s probably none of them. :) It’s a very rare skill to cultivate…especially consistently. Most Naturals became Naturals through exposure to women via social circles, not cold-approaching.

        So keep in mind when they slag you about “it’s weird to go talk to random people dude, cut it out”, that you’re working on a skillset they can’t even wrap their heads around.

        “When someone gives you advice, ask yourself if they’re at LEAST as successful as you want to be. If not, take it with a grain of salt.”



What Kind Of Woman Cuckolds A Man?

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on January 11, 2013 at 6:23 am
Original Link

OP — Seems about right.

Field Report Thursday:

So, tonight we just roll to a pretty popular club. Now, this time I just see a set near the bar and open all five of them — it’s too dark to make out most of them, but the one I address is a 6.5, and her friend is a 7.

Here’s what I’m starting to notice — now that I have a solid opener down, the resistance to me conversing with them has melted away, especially phrasing it in a way that has ‘a few’ girls asking me for weed, and then asking if I look like a drug dealer. I manage to get to the hairdresser routine — she -is- a hairdresser, and I’m about to riff before her friends swoop in to take her away.

Next, my friend opens a set. Now, he opens a 6-6.5, and her friend is….well…not quite. Probably somewhere around a 5 depending on the lighting. However, it’s important to know that I THOUGHT she was a 5.5-6 going in. So, I put some money in the ‘guilt you into winging me in the future because I jumped on the grenade back in the day’ bank — a great deal because 5.5-6 isn’t really a grenade anyway, right? I come in and pat him on the back and say ‘have you seen Michelle?’ and he’s like ‘No — but –’ then she interrupts. Turns out, her name is Michelle.

I turn to the obstacle and start chatting her up. Hairdresser routine and all of that goes pretty great, she’s laughing. I decide, in my mind, to try and make her -like- me. So, I tell her the crazy ‘almost got in a fight story,’ then I say ‘yeah I should hang out with people like you instead of her. you’d be like my little sister, helping me avoid such bad situations.’

I reference her being a sister another time shortly thereafter. She seems to enjoy it.

She notices that my friend is reading Michelle’s palm, so she asks me what he’s doing and if he can read palms. I’m like ‘oh yeah, we’re traveling magicians…we know all about the occult.’ This has the unfortunate effect of her asking me to read her palm, which probably makes me and my friend look like dickbags, reading palms at the same time.

So, anyway….we keep talking and I notice that she’s facing me, talking to me etc. Here’s where I say ‘okay, we need to do some A3 stuff I guess…’ And so, I ask what she does…she says she works with kids.

“Hm, I dunno….if you’re working with kids all day, how could we ever get along? I mean, you’d be too tired to raise our kids.”

She’s like ‘nooooo, I would be really good with them anyway!’

“…hmmm….you like animals?”

“Yeah…well sort of…I like dogs!”

“Very good! I got a little puppy recently…”

Blah blah blah, I riff on a dog I -did- get and we laugh over how bold they are, peeing on the floor while maintaining eye contact. So then I come back to the earlier point

“Okay, so let’s say our little angel spawn does -that-….Mom gets home and the kid pees on the floor, looking straight at you. What do you do?”

She’s like ‘hmmmm! well, I’d probably take them aside and say -noooooo- but i wouldn’t be mean, though!’

“Okay….that’s a good answer, I like it! Maybe I was wrong about you…”

Then she turns more toward me “well what would you do?”

“If they looked me dead in the eye and did it? Well…..that’s tough….I mean, I’d have to reward them somewhat, because you know….that takes some guts, and they aren’t going to take anyone’s shit.”

She laughs. So, I try to do some push/pull…but I haven’t really studied the concept enough (see, consistently getting past the opener is totally new for me…so, I just read about it 10 minutes before going out). So, whenever she does something cool or says something funny, I put my hand on her shoulder and push myself back ‘Oh my gosh, I can’t be around you…you’re like the woman of my dreams or something.’

She seems to genuinely laugh about it.

Friend and his target regroup with me and the obstacle — everyone decides to dance. Obstacle wanted to dance with me.

….

Yet, the dance floor is where everything fell apart.
I feel great…I’m like ‘wow, this is -how- you use the club, open, get some attraction, theeeeeen take to the dancefloor.’ We get there, and now comes time to start sort of touching. She dances facing away from me, grinding a bit. After awhile, I turn her around, and I have my hand on her waist, and she gets close several times —- but she’s not making eye contact, her hands are up, she’s never touching me, save when she moves in close (which was incidental). She complimented my dancing, though. However……somewhere in the middle of all this, my mind is like ‘man fuck this chick, if we ain’t making out, I’m gonna start over with some more bitches,’ but then I’m like ‘well….my friend needs me.’ I look over….sure enough, the son of a bitch is actually kissing the target. Yeah….still gotta allow him to isolate.

I’m way unsure what went wrong at this point, but at the same time, I’m forced to totally linger in a set that I feel like I”ve sort of been blown out of. Things get worse once we leave the club as a foursome — in the club, I thought I had been talking to like a 5.5-6…but nah man, at the most a 5. I’m PISSED.I downshift, just trying to maintain friendly relations with the obstacle for the sake of my friend getting laid. I accompany them around the area outside the club, just walking around, shooting the shit. My friend wants to give them a ride to their car (turns out they parked far away or whatever idk). But, it’s no dice…he’s got to settle for getting her number.

I feel like my earlier intuition of ‘I need to make her like me if he’s going to get laid…because if the obstacle gets to fuck, my friend gets to fuck,’ was correct.

But at this point, I’m really pissed. A) Failed to make obstacle like me, B) Had to linger around in a set that had petered out for me, and C) Opportunity cost of lingering around in a set that had petered out for me.

Thoughts:

So…the target’s number I got yesterday? Yeah, nothing. Zilch! :D
I tried to do a text callback about the skydiving into sharks. No response.
Today I texted something about getting some drinks. The only response was ‘who is this, I don’t have saved numbers :P ’ I tell her who I am — No response. Trolololololol. Clearly I made SEVERAL mistakes during that set — or, she could have been exceedingly polite and laughed and made conversation to that end.

Now I -have- to learn more about A2/A3 because I’m routinely getting to that point — I hook them with the opener consistently now.


  • YaReally
    on January 11, 2013 at 8:10 am
    Original Link

    “I just see a set near the bar and open all five of them — it’s too dark to make out most of them, but the one I address is a 6.5, and her friend is a 7.”

    It’s all good, don’t stress being picky in terms of who you approach at the start of the night especially. If a chick turns out to be ugly, you don’t have to fuck her, just get her laughing and move to the next set (girls near you will be more receptive even if she’s ugly because you look like a fun guy who isn’t shallow and flirts with everyone).

    “now that I have a solid opener down, the resistance to me conversing with them has melted away”

    The whole point of routines. :) Down the road, ya, go ahead and wing it, but when you’re starting out, fuck it, come up with some default routines and use them. Then you have a gameplan instead of stumbling in like a dumbass hoping your brain spits something out. There’s nothing wrong with routines, Naturals use their own all the time. One of my Natural buddies, I know pretty much everything he’s saying to a girl without having to actually overhear him because I know all his moves and routines lol

    “especially phrasing it in a way that has ‘a few’ girls asking me for weed”

    Good stuff. Building social proof into your story = DHV’ing. This is much better than “a few dudes asking me” or “people asking me”. These are the little nuances that trigger her subconscious going “oh, girls keep talking to him? Why do they talk to him? He seems normal to me…what do they know that I’m missing? I’m going to find out so I don’t miss out!”

    “he opens a 6-6.5, and her friend is….well…not quite.”

    lol I have one buddy that hits up all the 8+ girls that bring their <5 friends out and I'm always like "you fucker, why do you do this to me??" lol

    "I come in and pat him on the back and say ‘have you seen Michelle?’"

    Classic solid way to get into the set. Much smoother than awkwardly barging in or your buddy ignoring you to talk to his girl and you having to intro yourself etc. Having a wingman who's consciously running game with you like this is such a fucking luxury. Enjoy it while you have it, you guys can do a lot of damage. "Normal" guys are frustrating as fuck to wing with.

    "Hairdresser routine and all of that goes pretty great"

    What's your hairdresser routine, if you don't mind sharing? Maybe we can tweak it a bit to make it more efficient/sexual/flirty/etc.?

    "I reference her being a sister another time shortly thereafter. She seems to enjoy it."

    We don't even really get why girls like that shit lol we just call it "chick crack". For some reason they eat it up.

    "I’m like ‘oh yeah, we’re traveling magicians…we know all about the occult.’"

    Nice, self-amusing. If you could keep this attitude around the 8+s, you'd be golden.

    "This has the unfortunate effect of her asking me to read her palm, which probably makes me and my friend look like dickbags, reading palms at the same time."

    Lol there was a good one back in the day where you read the different lines on her hand, "This is your life line, it means blah blah….This is your heart line, it means blah blah…this is your head line, it means you give good head. ;) " "OMG!!!" "What?? You mean you DON'T give good head?? Sorry I'm new at reading palms still. ;) " etc.

    "we keep talking and I notice that she’s facing me, talking to me"

    You've passed the Hook Point here. She likes you, she'd fuck you. But as you'll find out, a lot can go wrong between attracting her and fucking her. This is why when Keyboard Jockeys are like "oh whatever, that 9+ bar slut, anyone can bang her, I like quality women" it's like "no, you couldn't bang her, you can't even comprehend how many things will fuck you in the face trying to get that girl home, especially on the same night, but as a Keyboard Jockey you won't understand that because you don't go out and actually pull regularly and experience all that, especially not on hot girls." :)

    "I say ‘okay, we need to do some A3 stuff I guess…’"

    Yup. Good read of the situ.

    "Hm, I dunno….if you’re working with kids all day, how could we ever get along? I mean, you’d be too tired to raise our kids."

    Solid future-projection/roleplaying (that you'll have kids for her to take care of in the future), assuming attraction (since to have those kids you'll have to bang lol), qualifying/screening her, and you're actually doing Push here (Push/Pull is mental not physical lol, so here you're saying "I'm not interested in you" which is Pushing her away).

    "She’s like ‘nooooo, I would be really good with them anyway!’"

    This is her qualifying herself to you, which counts as an ioi and is her investing in the interaction and creating a frame where she's chasing you. She's into you here.

    "…hmmm….you like animals?"

    This is letting her win you over, which is transitioning from Push back to Pull in the form of qualifying her…ie – she knows if she says she doesn't like animals, she'll lose you, so even if she doesn't like them, she'll say she does so you don't disqualify her.

    "Yeah…well sort of…I like dogs!"

    Her brain went "Say yes or he'll disqualify you!! …wait okay that was a lie, shit, say sort of…quick think of SOME kind of animal you like so you're not lying!!" lol This is all good stuff.

    "Very good! I got a little puppy recently…"

    The Very good is Pull, now you're saying "okay, you've won me over a bit and now I'm interested again", and sharing the puppy stuff is building Comfort, so you've actually dipped into C1 here.

    "Okay, so let’s say our little angel spawn does -that-….Mom gets home and the kid pees on the floor, looking straight at you. What do you do?"

    More roleplaying, future projection, qualifying her, and you're Pushing again, all good stuff. Do lots of this in the future lol In terms of emotional investment in the interaction, compare this to just grinding up behind a random girl on the dance floor, you know?

    "She’s like ‘hmmmm! well, I’d probably take them aside and say -noooooo- but i wouldn’t be mean, though!’"

    More qualifying herself. She's attracted here.

    "Okay….that’s a good answer, I like it! Maybe I was wrong about you…"

    Good stuff, this is you Pulling again. And she's going to start feeling like she's winning you over. If you say stuff like "You know, at first I wasn't sure about you…you seemed kind of shy, etc. etc." to a really hot girl, they laugh their ass off and are like "OMG noooo I'm totally not like that!!" and love you.

    My fav way of putting it is Tyler explains it's like winning a coupon for some stupid trinket in a Crackerjack box lol You might not even care about the trinket, but because you won it, you'll go down and collect it. :)

    "Then she turns more toward me “well what would you do?”"

    She's invested. Again, she's attracted at this point.

    "(see, consistently getting past the opener is totally new for me…so, I just read about it 10 minutes before going out)"

    lol this'll happen a lot to you this year. "Whoops, I didn't expect to get THIS far! Ah shit, I lost it lol" :)

    "‘Oh my gosh, I can’t be around you…you’re like the woman of my dreams or something.’"

    You can skip the physical Push lol, it's a mental Push/Pull. But actually you can mix in physical Push/Pull with it, I do this a lot now that I think about it. Like I'll say "god, I can't be around you, you're like the woman of my dreams or something…" and physically turn away from her a bit…"unless you can cook, can you cook? Microwaving TV Dinners doesn't count." and if she says "I love cooking!" then I'll physically turn toward her and grab her hands and put them up on my shoulders and then put my hands on her waist, so we're in close to eachother and go "shit, I think I'm in love with you now. What are you going to cook us for breakfast tomorrow? ;) " etc. and then if I need to Push, I'll just throw her hands off me dramatically and back-turn her, etc.

    "Obstacle wanted to dance with me."

    Here you can theoretically bone her. The problem you're about to run into is ASD/logistics. But first:

    "I’m like ‘wow, this is -how- you use the club, open, get some attraction, theeeeeen take to the dancefloor.’"

    Yup. :) Now you're learning. You know those couches some clubs have? Those are for isolating girls so you can go through C2 and C3 and sometimes S1 lol But when you don't know how to pick up those couches always seem totally out of place in a club. There's a strategy to using the club lol I won't even dance with a girl if it's "too soon" because I suck ass at dancing, I'm only good at sexual grinding, so if I hit the dance floor before she's attracted enough to grind me and makeout, I'm just shooting myself in the foot. I lost a lot of girls by being forced onto the dance floor (winging my buddy and my buddy's a good dancer and girls all love dancing so 3 against 1 I'd have to go to the dance floor with everyone). Now I try to change the subject and build attraction faster to avoid that, or take her to get a water and isolate and build attraction there, etc. so that if I hit the dance floor with her, it's natural to go right into grinding.

    "She dances facing away from me, grinding a bit. After awhile, I turn her around, and I have my hand on her waist, and she gets close several times —- but she’s not making eye contact, her hands are up, she’s never touching me, save when she moves in close (which was incidental)."

    Boooo. At least you can tell this means she's not having it lol She was attracted you up to this point, and even still IS…The problem is her ASD triggered. If I had to guess I'd say your friend and your friend's girl were dancing right beside you guys, right? Or at least within your view (since you saw him making out)? This is the worst setup because your girl is thinking "if I do anything with him, my friend will think I'm a slut". Sometimes if she sees her friend making out with your friend, she'll loosen up, but it depends on her personality type and a lot of times it'll just make her lock up more because she's like "omg if I kiss him we'll have to fuck because my friend is going to fuck his friend and I didn't even shave my legs today because I didn't expect to fuck anyone ahhhhh WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!! (sabotage)" lol

    To neutralize this, try keeping her facing away from her friend and your friend so she isn't constantly reminded that they're nearby, or try to let some of the crowd separate you two from your friends…either way you're in a tricky spot, especially if it's a brightly lit club (most of the clubs in my current city are retardedly bright, the city I was in before was all dark shadows and shit, it was so easy to escalate there lol).

    If you end up in this situation again, don't stress it. Dance and tell yourself "okay, fuck, I can't make out with her YET because these logistics are shit…BUT, once we get OFF this dance floor, I'm going to tell her let's get a water and isolate her from our friends, tease her and spike her Buying Temperature again, and then try to kiss her".

    Isolation is massive massive important. Your buddy's girl didn't need isolation because whatever game he was running attracted her enough that she didn't care, or he kept her facing away from you guys enough, or she just isn't as reserved as her friend, or knows her friend won't judge her, etc. etc. Remember isolation can just mean going around a corner or behind a pillar or to the other side of a crowd etc., you don't have to have her outside in the smoke pit or on the couches etc. Hell, you can isolate just by turning her away from the group, in the right circumstances.

    "She complimented my dancing, though."

    This is her saying "Sorry I can't make out with you and slut it up on the dance floor, the circumstances for that aren't right for me to do it without feeling slutty, but I don't want you to think that I'm not into you so here's a compliment so you don't take my lack of sucking your cock on the dance floor as a sign of disinterest". :)

    "However……somewhere in the middle of all this, my mind is like ‘man fuck this chick, if we ain’t making out, I’m gonna start over with some more bitches,’ but then I’m like ‘well….my friend needs me.'"

    Lol, been there. You're a good wing helping your buddy out instead of finding a new one, he owes ya since she turned out to be a <5.

    "still gotta allow him to isolate."

    Yup. Generally if you've just met her that night off a cold approach, but can't actually fuck her that night, but get all raunchy in the club, she'll end up flaking when you try to set up a Day 2. If it looks like I can't fuck her that night, I'll avoid doing more than a quick kiss and leave the sexual tension in the air to help solidify there being a Day 2, no crazy hardcore tongue-down makeout groping stuff.

    So depending on how hardcore your friend kissing her was, she might actually flake on him when he tries to follow-up because he didn't fuck her that night. Weird chick-logic hey? My point is that you made a good read, knowing that he still needs to isolate before it's on 100%.

    "I’m PISSED.I downshift, just trying to maintain friendly relations with the obstacle for the sake of my friend getting laid."

    lololol been there. :) The obstacle can usually sense that you downshifted too, unfortunately. It gets awkward from here. I've had situs where the obstacle and I are talking and we're just making bullshit small talk because we both KNOW we're just giving our friends time to makeout and exchange numbers etc. lol

    "My friend wants to give them a ride to their car (turns out they parked far away or whatever idk)."

    I'd guess he was hoping to get his girl isolated to fuck her in his car or their car lol As a wingman you could drop something like "ya sure, grab your car and we'll wait at the hotdog stand over there for you." and then be ready to stall the obstacle at the hotdog stand for like 20 minutes while your friend tries to fuck his girl in the car lol If you have to buy her a hotdog to keep her busy so he can get laid, make your friend buy you one next time you're out lol

    "But, it’s no dice…he’s got to settle for getting her number."

    Try to find out if it flakes or not. There's a really good chance he won't be able to get her to meet up again for a while if at all, because of the stuff I said, but it depends a lot on how his text game is and what the obstacle said to her about you guys after and how much comfort/rapport he built with her etc.

    "I feel like my earlier intuition of ‘I need to make her like me if he’s going to get laid…because if the obstacle gets to fuck, my friend gets to fuck,’ was correct."

    Yup, you were 100% right there. If you had been able to force yourself to fuck a <5, you guys would've given them a ride to their car and all gone back to their place or your place for the "afterparty" and at that location you'd just chill on the couch with your girl while your friend sneaks his off around a corner for a "tour of the place" etc. and escalates on her…him vanishing with her is your cue to escalate with your girl (see Swingers when Vince Vaughn goes for a "tour" of the trailer with his girl and how the vibe becomes "okay time for us to fuck too now"). Shit can still go wrong there, you have to escalate it smoothly, possibly build some comfort first etc. depending on how much attraction is there, but this is the way it generally plays out when you take a 2 set home with your buddy.

    For the record it's probably good that you didn't fuck her lol If you're not into her, don't bother. I mean if she was a 6-6.5 or so and you're stuck babysitting the grenade and it's either hook up with her or your buddy won't get laid, hey, that ain't so bad, grab a blowjob and get her off (use a condom like a mofo if you actually stick it in her) and make your buddy pay for your breakfast in the morning as thanks lol

    But a solid <5, your buddy can't really hold that against ya lol Tell him "next time pick a girl with a friend who isn't nasty and I'm in!" lol

    "But at this point, I’m really pissed."

    lol it sucks that it went haywire (ASD kicking in and her turning out to be a super uggo) but in terms of running game, you ran your shit solid up to the dance floor issues. This is good progress. :)

    "A) Failed to make obstacle like me"

    No she loved you lol But you need more experience going from A3 to S1 is all.

    "B) Had to linger around in a set that had petered out for me"

    lol I always hate when that happens. It's a big mood killer. One thing you can try if you end up in this situ again, is merge the set…so chat up some randoms beside you, guys or girls, and introduce your obstacle girl to them. There's a chance one of those guys might want to fuck her and take over for you, or there might be a girl in their group that perks up when you chat them up, or at least you can make small talk and don't have to awkwardly stand around with the petered out vibe in your set.

    "C) Opportunity cost of lingering around in a set that had petered out for me."

    lol ya, again that sucks. Your buddy will reciprocate down the line though, I'm sure. At least you got practice winging and reading the vibe and running your routines etc. If you can treat an HB8+ like you treated this <5, they'll be attracted to you like she was.

    "So…the target’s number I got yesterday? Yeah, nothing. Zilch! :D "

    Not sure which one this is lol oh shit, you have a Field Report up for Wednesday. I'll check it out and see if I can help narrow down why this one flaked on you. Check for a reply/analysis from me to your post at:

    http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/01/09/beta-of-the-month-when-you-cant-hide-it/#comment-402287

    "Now I -have- to learn more about A2/A3 because I’m routinely getting to that point — I hook them with the opener consistently now."

    Good stuff, you're making progress. :) A lot of guys are like "whatever this game thing doesn't work, look he's not even getting laid yet and it's been 2 weeks wtf game is bullshit" but they don't get that this is all baby steps and you're making progress in a bunch of different categories. If it were an RPG this would be levelling up all your random Intelligence, Charisma, Wisdom, etc. stats that contribute to the character, not just your Strength. You'll make a bunch of little strides and gain little victories in like "now I'm not afraid to open a group" and "I merged my first two groups of strangers together" and "I ran my first jealousy plotline!" etc. Getting laid is great, but there's a lot more to the game. :)



Beta Of The Month: When You Can’t Hide It

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on January 10, 2013 at 7:02 am
Original Link

Comment on OP: Wow, holy crap. That’s disgusting. How can anyone just rationalize away all accountability? “For the children?!” More like for membership among the castrati, singing joyful odes to the mighty vagina. Even in my most beta of moments, I’d never dream of remaining in such a relationship. How would any man convince himself of something so stupid? “Herp derp, she completely emasculated me, betrayed my trust, but herp derp, I should raise some bastard kid because herp derp, that kid deserves better — nevermind the behavior that brought about said kid — my wife is such a unique person/snowflake/daffodil, yay her emotions!” Gross.

I’m going to try and do field reports every day I go out (I remember more the day of).

Field Report Weds:

All right, so I kept things simple. I got together an opener and a DHV routine, and allowed those to carry me as far as they could. So, before I go out with my “Project PUA” friends, I go to a bar to watch a college basketball game. My focus? Just being more alpha. And it’s simple. I just sort of lean back in my chair, I make slow movements, I talk slowly. No real change during the game. I make idle chat during the game about various plays/players/etc. Here’s what I notice after the game. I’m like — “Yeah, I’m out, goin’ home…got shit to do.” Everyone turns to me and is like ‘no, you’re not leaving yet! What the fuck? Let’s do x, y, z…blah blah blah.” Long story short I ended up playing several rounds of pool and shuffleboard with them, but the weird thing is that…for the first time in awhile, I just felt like part of the group — like my presence made a difference. I dunno, hard to explain I guess. Small thing.

Now, on to the rest of the evening. First, I go to my friend’s house — usually we alternate between who has to drive where. And he’s like “Okay, you need to ditch your patterned sweater/hoodie, the weird T-shirt, and the ‘nice’ (air quoted) Skechers.” I just kinda tilt my head, and he’s like “Get a cool t-shirt or a button-down, a blazer, and just normal nice shoes or boots. You’re 26, almost done with grad school, and you work at a respectable place — fucking act like it. You don’t spend most of your time watching people do -sick- tricks in half-pipes.” So, I nod, and I actually head to my house to make the changes (I own blazers and stuff for work and nice shoes and different t-shirts).

We ride to Club 1. We think Club 1 will be awesome — it’s locals night + open bar. Turns out…despite a good location, Club 1 is terrible. Literally, when we arrived, Club 1 had ONE girl there. And she was there with some guy. Now, we got to the bar, where this girl — a solid 6.5-7 (dark lighting unsure) — sits. My friend, before even getting a free drink, opens her. He’s talking to her. I wait for a bit and get my drink — just a bud light, I ain’t gonna get drunk. Then I walk on over and engage the dude in conversation. Now, it’s clear from what me and my friend piece together that they are out on their first date and really have little history. So, I occupy the guy…talking about music, work, etc. while my friend engages the target. Eventually, he peters out, and I want to get another bud light. So I leave the guy to get the drink. I ask my friend ‘okay, who else is there to open?’ He shrugs with a laugh “I dunno…that’s insane, I’ve never been in a club where there aren’t any targets. What the FUCK? Let’s walk…YOU lead, and we’ll figure it out.” So, we walk around, and we notice — finally — this set of what appear to be three girls at the bar. We’re walking at a weird angle and I totally bitch out and keep right on in that craven stride. My friend is like ‘what the…you already fucked up!”

I’m like ‘yeah……shit….well I gotta take a piss…let’s regroup after.” I go, do my business, and when I walked out of the bathroom I was just like ‘fuck this, let’s go…” And I walk toward the set again, this time approaching closer — I force myself to slow down. Then I turn toward them and say

“Hey guys…I can only stay for a sec, got friends waiting, but actually…quick question….”

Now, out of nowhere, I say -this-

“…since I’ve been here, two girls have asked me for weed.”

It just flies out of my flapping lips, and I go to continue talking, but I notice that they have a reaction…they’re surprised.

“Yeah, so do I look like a drug dealer to you?”

Now, one of the set steps forward…black, 6…I’d give her extra points because she had an uber feminine thing going on (can’t explain it, just really warm voice and demeanor), but a raw 6. She starts to engage the question, hmming, and hawwing.

“I know, right?”

Then, I FORCE MYSELF TO REACT TO HER…like, to pretend as though I’m noticing something. I pause, and I tilt my head, then point in her direction as though the Perspicacity Gods graced me in a single moment.

“Wait, you’re a hairdresser right?”

Blah blah, she’s taken aback, I don’t really listen, because I know what comes next.

“Well, my friend is a hairdresser, and she always wears her hair like that.”

She nods, and I nod back — I fail to really mirror her though, because I’m facing away and out, and she’s looking directly at me, open stance.

“By the way, she thinks I should get a green mohawk — now see, on the one hand I should trust her, because she’s hot, but on the other hand, she could be fucking with me…what do you think?”

I kinda block out my hair to demonstrate the hypothetical mohawk. She takes her time with it.

“So you’re not a hairdresser, what are you?”

She tells me she doesn’t work right now and that she’s gonna be a nurse, blah blah blah. Then, I notice several bodies moving. Turns out, that set of three girls is a set of -five- girls. They all scatter from the bar, I blink — oh shit, I really failed to engage everyone, oh man. Here comes friendo to engage. However, problem…I don’t think he knew who was the target and who were the obstacles, because the first person he engaged was the person I was talking to. So, I just turn and I talk to another girl in this big all-girl set….easy 8. Funny shit…I try the same routine on her, and she just is -not- having it. But I play it to the bone, even with the hairdresser (I link it by saying, ‘I was just telling your friend blah blah blah blah.’) I look back, and my friend has stopped talking to the initial target and started talking to another girl in that group, a 6. Eventually it just peters out and the all move to a booth in which to sit — we pretty much weren’t invited. I decide to just go with my gut. We failed…overwhelmed in some way. So I’m like “fuck, man.”

He’s like “dude, that was awesome. You opened them. We’re rockstars in this club right now. Look at all these faggots in their nice clothes just standing around. We’ve literally talked to -all- the girls in this place.”

I’m like “yeah but this club sucks, let’s go somewhere else.”
He’s like “aight.”

After some more idle chit-chat with the original 6.5-7 at the bar, we leave.

Next venue:

Nothing to write home about here. When we walk in, I notice — as I’m walking past — a group of four girls. All of them are fucking hot, save one, who isn’t ugly, she’s just less hot. Like 8.5-9 (I say she was a 9, but friend is like nah, she’s like an 8…8.5 probably), 8, 7, 5.5-6. And I dunno, maybe it was the slight buzz of alcohol, but I shit you not, I became a warrior in that pass. Me and my friend leaned on the bar, and I was like ‘okay, I’m going to walk toward the bathroom, come back, and open those bitches.’ I proceeded to do just that.

I open all of them at once.

“Hey I gotta get back to my friends, but…well, since I’ve been here two girls have asked me for weed. So….I mean, do I look like a drug dealer?”

Here’s the shocking thing….that resistance from the other night? Gone. Replaced by — it wasn’t attraction — but just this sort of open-mindedness. Like, they all gave me their focus, and it felt like…’all right kid, you’ve got a few minutes — WOW us.” They all look at one another, and it’s sort of a tepid ‘nah, not really, I mean…yeah nah….”

I point at the 9 (yeah, that’s fucking right) and just say “you’re a hairdresser, right.”

Now, I immediately notice something different about hitting on a really hot (at least in my mind she’s a 9) chick. I like it way better. I feel more aggressive. Inflection after ‘right?’ Questions are for pussy betas. I AM right. She tilts her head and is like ‘well, no…” I follow it up….same routine, friend is a hairdresser. She laughs, and is like ‘yeah! I actually know a lot of hairdressers who wear it this way.” Now….listen, this may sound stupid, but liiiiike….having a 9 legit show interest in what I said there just was….well….just about the best thing ever. And I respond “yeah, with the bright blonde and the wavy curls.” Then, one of the other friends makes a motion — at first I thought she was making a blowjob motion, to insult me, but then I’m like ‘what’s going on over here?’ and her friends inform me that this one — the 5.5-6 — is ACTUALLY a hairdresser. I’m about to riff on that thread, probably go into something about how she should meet my hairdresser friend blah blah….when my friend shows up. He enters the set like the Allies entered the beaches of Normandy. The first thing he says is ‘oh hey, have you met him?’ indicating me. They blink, as though that’s weird, and say ‘uh yeaaaah.’ Then, my friend engages me. Something shifts in the interaction, and ALL of them turn away.

So we eject…my friend is like ‘ahhh shit, totally misread everything about that. I’m sorry man, that one chick was fucking smokin” and that’s where we proceeded to wonder whether she was an 8.5 or a 9 for 20 seconds. My friend actually wandered into another room in the club, where a live band was playing. I followed for a sec, but then I was like ‘it’s too fucking loud in here, let’s go talk to bitches!’ He’s like ‘ya, in a sec.’

I go back into the club, I glide up to the bar. There’s this gothy chick there at the bar — I dig it, she’s pretty cute…6.5, so I sidle up to it. I just make idle chit chat, like ‘oh yeah, you guys gotten their attention yet? I can never get their attention.’ She smirks and is like ‘nah, but yeah I know what you mean.’ And then I’m like ‘you from around here?” she’s like “yeah…” and I’m like “is this a cool place…” she launches into an explanation of the place. Slowly my mind starts working — she’s being way friendly, despite the fact that I didn’t use any of the material, so….I should pay attention to how I am right now. My profile was to her, I was facing the bar, standing straight, and my head was turned. Plus, I was talking slowly. We talk some more, then some guy sitting next to her interjects — we get into a conversation, and he identifies her as his girlfriend.

Phuck. Maybe she was friendly because she was just with a dude. Whatever, opened another set, right?

I return to the backroom, where this live band is playing. Some girl on the dancefloor introduces herself to me, a solid 7. Immediately, inside I either think that the Universe has finally decided to smile upon me or that this bitch is probably taken. The latter turns out to be true — she introduces me to her boyfriend. I’m like ‘man fuck this shit,’ and, after failing to find my friend, I step back out into the main area. I find him at the bar, drinking another drink. He’s like ‘go open those four girls’ and I’m like ‘yeah, those are the ones I already opened.’ He laughs…’hmph, well there aren’t any other good groups to open here.’ So I’m like ‘then let’s get to gettin’.’

Next venue:

We walk into the mainroom, it’s more of a pub — not that many people, but still plenty of targets. Upstairs runs more like a club. So we go upstairs, and immediately my friend opens this 8. Now, I feel like a tool, and I immediately turn around to head back downstairs. On the way, I spot a 5.5 and a 7 sitting down. The thought was — shit, if I could get a 9 to laugh, surely I could do something with these chicks.

So, I pulled the same routine. But I dunno, something about it just clicked this time.

The 7 (who had a stylish, Zooey Deschenal thing going) laughs and actually gives a banter answer. “Nah, you don’t look like a drug dealer, but in that blazer you look like you’re ready to do some lines.”

I actually laugh.

“What….who….ME? No-I-would-never!”

We share a laugh — the 5.5′s laughter is a bit more restrained.

I point to her and I do the hairdresser bit — she turns toward me. It’s convenient that she has a style so similar to Zooey Deschenal’s — really makes the hairdresser comment seem more genuine, and she really responds to it.

Then, I get to my hairdresser thing about the green mohawk. They’re into it. I pull the same ‘is she fucking with me?’ bit. Now, she’s laughing. Then, I launch into my DHV story — finnnaaaaallllly. I talk about how my crazy hairdresser friend pushed some 6’4 guy at a concert and then said I was going to fight him. Then, I…pretty drunk, but determined not to back down, just set down my drink, opened up my arms and said ‘we’re gonna fight? you can’t just get along with people? Okay…….let’s fucking fight then.’ The guy took a step back, smiled, and then apologized to me. (That’s a real story — swap hairdresser for ex-gf). The 7 really enjoys it, but the 5.5 gets back onto the topic about the mohawk, and she’s like ‘well, do you mean a mohawk or a faux-hawk?’

At this point, I act as though that’s a really interesting distinction and take the opportunity to sit down across from them. Now, I just instinctively start to focus on the 5.5, because I dunno…I read Ya’s comment about the other ‘STFU girl’ and was like ‘try to ingratiate yourself a little to the obstacle.’ So, I spend time talking with her about stuff and actually kind of cooling it with the 7. Where does she go to school? Oh the local university, no shit? I go there too — grad school style, almost done. They’re impressed.

I — acting a little ADD while the obstacle talks, bring the 7 back into conversation by pointing at a pyramid shaped ring she has —

“What is that?”

She lifts up her hand for me to see….I laugh

“Holy shit, I thought that was a ring pop.”

She laughs, “I wish!”

“Me too! But then, I’d probably hate you because I mean…you’d still have a FULL ring pop left. What kind of person doesn’t eat the ring pop?!”

She still laughs.

Then I tell her friend to make up a story about the ring. The 7′s story is something about Egypt, and the other’s story is about her family owning a diamond mine. I go with the obstacle’s story and then resume the conversation with the obstacle. She says her previous major was psychology, I ask her if she’s good at reading people.

So then….I say something that I think was pretty golden (I’m gonna keep using it).

“Oh really? You’re good at analyzing people? What’s -her- biggest fear?”

She hmms and haws with it a little, but I totally know they’re intrigued. Easy to see and feel. I smile (now, this whole time I’ve been facing away from them a bit in my body language, and they’ve been turned toward me…now, I bring myself in), and say “How about -I- go first?”

I make a little show about “okay this is personal” blah blah blah.
Then I say…”my biggest fear is to skydive into a pool full of sharks that then eat me alive.”

They start to laugh, and I laugh too, but I’m like ‘no that’s serious, it’s real.’
We talk about it for a bit, then she reveals the target’s fear, which is “moving on” from her first love or whatever. I don’t dwell on it, I just spin it into something else like ‘ahhh relationships, that’s interesting….yeah that can be tough, hmmmmmm…let me guess.’ I point at both

“you’re an aquarius….”

The target just lights up — like ‘how did you know?!’ blah blah blah. Lucky guess. Right now, I’m feeling pretty awesome.

“…and you’re a Sagittarius…”

Survey says incorrect on the second one. But the obstacle likes me, and she gives me a hint — stubborn, so I guess Taurus. Suddenly, the obstacle is like ‘hey, are you here alone?’ Ah shit….where is he? Time for an executive decision. I say that I’m here with a friend and that we’re actually trying to find a girl that keeps texting me to come to a bar, but she keeps failing to tell us where (I’m so sure I must have read about this gambit somewhere). The good news is that I actually do have a female friend who sort of could fit that bill. And that friend is decently attractive.

Target immediately asks to see pictures of her. God bless America.

Then, like an angel from on high, my friend swoops in again. Introductions all around, and I immediately start about our “friend.” He rolls with it easily, then proceeds to tackle the warpig like Teddy Roosevelt on Safari (Ha, okay she wasn’t a warpig….but I mean…I dunno, compared to her friend…).

Strangely enough, this is where I start to struggle. I have everything I want…an alone conversation with this girl who seems to be attracted. It kind of falters…I mean, I dunno. I feel like I told several cool stories that were fun and whatnot, but I didn’t really get to find out a whole lot about her, if that makes any sense. I did comment on her phone’s wallpaper — the Beatles. And we did have a cool conversation about them. About which period of the Beatles were our favorites, about which Beatles we liked best, etc. I managed to kino a little with her (incidental, just putting my hand on her arm when lightly teasing). Probably the best thing I did — again much props to Ya — was roleplay. Remember that whole story about the diamond mine? Well, I asked her at one point

“Okay, remember your fake story for the ring. We’re going to practice. Pretend you just met me — which you did!”

And then she nods, and I look away, then affect a snooty voice.

“Ahhh yes, how do you do, my name is Reginald Ringmaker, of the Ringmakers — the ring standard, yesss. May I ask about this trinket of yours?”

She repeats the story, and I twiddle an invisible mustache.

“How droll! We should arrange a marriage swiftly and combine diamonds and rings, why, why…we’ll be unstoppable!”

She laughs and actually starts mimicking the snooty voice ‘yess, yess we should!”

After awhile (whole interaction was over an hour long), their ride arrives. So, I just kind of say…”well, I’d like to continue this conversation.” And the target smiles and says ‘yeah!” So…I proceed to get both obstacle and target’s numbers (I regret this in retrospect. I should have been more direct, I think…in showcasing interest for only the target).

But…whatever, that’s my first legit number close I think.
I mean………I’m pretty sure I made several mistakes. I -know- I did, because lol I wasn’t even ready for people to respond to me in a positive way. I was weak in comfort, probably weak in having her qualify herself. Probably did shit out of order, too.

————–

Thoughts on Weds —

Well, I mean…it’s only day 3 of the official Project PUA. I feel like I probably just had a good night, which is good — I needed one. A legit good night. Now, I went out with the goal of opening 20 sets, but I never got that far. It seems like…opening in a way that demonstrates value is pretty solid. Like, the drug dealer opener went over way better when cushioned with the false time constraint and the fact that, rather than my friends giving me that opinion, some random girls -opened- me to give me that opinion. And then I think to Saturday, and how that girl responded way better when I just said ‘people asked me for weed.’ I keep this for awhile.

The hairdresser thing seems solid. Saying the hairdresser is hot seems solid. I still feel like I talk too fast, and I think I’m too excited. Like, when someone shows a bit of intrigue, I just sort of ‘YEAH AND IF YOU LIKED THAT HERE’S MORE OF WHAT I WAS SAYING OR WHAT I WANT TO SAY, YAAAAAAY!’ Need to chill more, I think.

Friend never did get that 8′s number. “Yeah, I actually think she -may- have been a prostitute.” Are his words. His words on my success were “yeah, that’s really awesome, I’m really proud of you. -But- don’t fuck up. You will fuck up if you focus on fucking this girl. What I mean is that, just have the same vibe you had when you first started talking to them. You’re like, this guy who has tons of girls in his life, and you know, why not one more? You don’t -need- to fuck her. You can do that any time. Go in with the mindset that you aren’t going to fuck her — indicate your interest and be fun, but keep it fun, as though you really couldn’t care less about it — and you’ll probably end up fucking her.”

As for the other sets. They were nicer this time, so that was nice. But I mean…when that 9 (or 8-8.5 whatever) laughed, even a little, it was a good moment. A hopeful moment.

Cold approaching seems pretty solid, and I totally disagree with me other friend who thinks it’s ‘dumb’ and ‘cool people don’t do that.’ I watched pretty much every other guy in the pubs, clubs, etc. just stand there like chodes…messing with their bros or keeping to their social circles. It’s empowering.

Ya, you were totally right about talking to hotter chicks. Way more fun.


  • YaReally
    on January 11, 2013 at 11:43 am
    Original Link

    “Field Report Weds:”

    I read/replied to the Thurs one before seeing this one lol so read my Reply to http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/what-kind-of-woman-cuckolds-a-man/#comment-402721 first.

    “the weird thing is that…for the first time in awhile, I just felt like part of the group — like my presence made a difference.”

    Your sub-communications are probably slowly fixing themselves. When someone is a value-taker, you want them to go away…the homeless guy on the street, you know before he even APPROACHES you that he’s going to approach you and start mentally snubbing him hoping he’ll go away. But when you’re a value-giver/bringer, people want you to stick around. Bringing value doesn’t have to be anything blatant, it can simply be “not being someone with low value”, where the group wants you around them. Down the road you’ll be in situations where you have multiple groups of people that all want you to come party with them and you have to start dropping in just for a few minutes here and there to “make an appearance” or choose between them and cancel on some of them etc. lol

    “You’re 26, almost done with grad school, and you work at a respectable place — fucking act like it. You don’t spend most of your time watching people do -sick- tricks in half-pipes.”

    Fucking lol’ed reading that. I like this guy. :) Like I say, some of it might sound harsh but he has your best interests in mind ultimately. I had to do a massive fashion, grooming, etc. overhaul. A buddy basically told me flat out “if you want to look like you deserve these chicks, you have to fix your style” and took me shopping. Also it helps when both of you look pimp VS one of you is stylin and the other is “the guy the girl’s friend will get stuck with”. You don’t have to necessarily dress up in blazers and shit, like I hang out with guys who look like rockers, MMA guys, suit dudes, clubby player guys, etc. and I don’t have to dress like they do. I just have to have a solid personal sense of style and it’s all good from there.

    “Literally, when we arrived, Club 1 had ONE girl there.”

    lol in those situs if I’m with friends or if I’m solo but don’t want to hoof around all night and want to give the place a chance, I just try to make chit-chat with a bartender or flirt with a waitress/bartender-chick and try to get familiar with them for the future before we move on to the next place.

    “My friend, before even getting a free drink, opens her. He’s talking to her.”

    lol ballsy of him. Good stuff. Taking action and not letting the club overwhelm you and avoiding negative thought-loops stifling your social vibe is more important than drinking, you can get shit-faced at home for way cheaper. :) A lot of PUAs follow the rule of opening ANYTHING as soon as they enter the venue, like before getting a drink, before doing a lap, before coat-checking, before hitting the pisser, etc. because doing all those things gives your mind time to psyche you out, so opening right away is like going “Fuck you, brain!! I’m makin’ you do this!!” and your brain goes “shit, okay, I guess we’re being social tonight, fine fine I’ll play along!”

    “just a bud light, I ain’t gonna get drunk.”

    Good, don’t get shit-faced all the time, it’ll fuck your progress up hard and create a lot of problems. I’m currently working on cutting back on drinking, it’s gotten out of hand over the winter and it’s fucking my game up.

    “Then I walk on over and engage the dude in conversation.”

    Good winging. Even if your buddy doesn’t take his girl or anything and you guys just leave, you guys have made their night. You’ve given them a funny story to bond over and probably helped that dude get laid lol

    “Now, it’s clear from what me and my friend piece together that they are out on their first date and really have little history.”

    lol could probably steal her if you don’t mind racking up bad karma. :) I don’t like to do that though if the dude is a nice guy, there are other girls and that might be his first date in months.

    “So, I occupy the guy…talking about music, work, etc. while my friend engages the target.”

    This is actually a way to wing AMOGs without getting your ass kicked. Like if you see a guy and girl together and your buddy wants the girl, or if a guy comes to crash your buddy’s set, you just engage the guy in boring logical questions and talk about normal mundane shit and basically kill any “fun” vibe that was going on, while your buddy pumps the girl’s Buying Temperature and steals her away. :) The guy can’t get mad at you because you’re just shooting the shit, but he loses the girl because he falls into your frame and becomes boring lol

    “Let’s walk…YOU lead, and we’ll figure it out.””

    This is a good wing. He’s helping you learn to lead and take charge, even if it’s just deciding where to walk over to in the club and what route to take. I do this with buddy’s who need to learn to be assertive, it just helps them learn to take charge and make decisions and lead the group.

    On a tangent for a sec, there’s a relevant scene at the start of Fight Club:

    Tyler says: “Just ask man.”
    Narrator: “What are you talking about?”
    “3 pitchers of beer and you still can’t ask.”
    “What?”
    “You called me ’cause you needed a place to stay.”
    “Oh hey no no no–”
    “Yes you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask.”
    “…would– Would that be a problem?”
    “Is it a problem for you to ask?”
    “Can I stay at your place?”
    “Ya.”

    In that scene, Tyler is trying to make the Narrator take charge and admit what he wants and just be assertive and not beat around the bush. This is similar to your friend telling you to lead. Go with it and embrace it. :)

    “We’re walking at a weird angle and I totally bitch out and keep right on in that craven stride.”

    lololol I’ve done that. Hell, I still do it now and then, early in the night when I’m out of state especially.

    ““Yeah, so do I look like a drug dealer to you?””

    Solid open. FTC, DHV, social proof, and a good wide opinion opener for them to sink their teeth into.

    “Now, one of the set steps forward”

    This can be either an ioi or the mother hen shit-testing you, but even then you can land her if she’s a mother hen…if she reacts to you at all, there’s a spark you can work with to turn into a roaring bush-fire. That’s what a lot of pickup is…we can’t like, magically make a girl who hates us suck our cock, but we learn to notice when there’s a tiny little spark, even well-hidden under a girl who seemingly hates us, and we build the tool-set to stoke that little spark into a bigger and bigger fire.

    “Then, I FORCE MYSELF TO REACT TO HER…like, to pretend as though I’m noticing something. I pause, and I tilt my head, then point in her direction as though the Perspicacity Gods graced me in a single moment.”

    Solid. This lets her feel like you weren’t into her but she’s said or done something or you noticed something about her that has suddenly piqued your interest. It gets her wondering and feeling like she’s somehow winning you over. It’s part of Pull and qualifying and you can drop in a cold-read like you did with the hairdresser thing…even if she’s NOT a hairdresser, it’s fine you just bullshit about oh it was her feminine demeanor etc and ask what she really does, blah blah.

    Best if the thing you cold-read her/compliment her on is something specific/personal personality-wise (“you’re very feisty getting in my face like that, I like feisty girls”, or “you have a good sense of style you must be a hairdresser blah blah”) VS something physical/vague (“you have beautiful eyes” or “god you’re hot”) that EVERYONE says to her. It’s like you’re seeing her under the surface.

    “Well, my friend is a hairdresser, and she always wears her hair like that.”

    Solid lol like I say it doesn’t matter if the cold-read was off. You’re following the 90-10 rule here by continuing to talk. Good stuff.

    “I fail to really mirror her though, because I’m facing away and out, and she’s looking directly at me, open stance.”

    eh fuck mirroring. I never pay attention to it lol Maybe in Comfort, but in Attraction it’s not real important compared to other things you can do (kino, push/pull, etc.) that build more attraction.

    “she thinks I should get a green mohawk — now see, on the one hand I should trust her, because she’s hot, but on the other hand, she could be fucking with me…what do you think?”

    Solid. Now you’re a guy who has a hot hairdresser friend and this is the 90-10 rule in action (before, you might’ve stopped at “wears her hair like that…” and just waited for her to do something and then been all “ah shit rejected!!!!” when she doesn’t know what to say). The whole time you’re talking, she’s processing you and trying to figure out whether to categorize you as the next random lame guy of the night or someone she should be interested in.

    Your hairdresser routine is solid. It’s got enough DHV stuff in it as-is so keep using it if you enjoy it. Notice that you’re ending up in the exact same spot you’d end up if you were a “normal” guy approaching and “winging it”…you end up at “So what do you do?” except instead of going “My name is Bob, nice to meet you Sarah, so what do you do?”, you’ve instead conveyed a bunch of fun personality, implied that you hang with a hot hairdresser chick, cold-read her and possibly complimented her in that cold-read, and assertively stated “So you’re not a hairdresser, what are you?” like you’re qualifying/testing her.

    How much more attractive and an emotional investment in the interaction is that for her, compared to Bob and Sarah, you know?

    “Turns out, that set of three girls is a set of -five- girls.”

    lol this happens a lot. This is part of why I say don’t stress picking only hot targets to approach, especially at the start of the night…or even dudes. Often you’ll be shooting the shit and then some hotties will join the group and you’re like “score!!” and have a solid intro from their friend with the new girls. I’ve had 2-sets turn into 7+ sets when I was out solo lol

    “oh shit, I really failed to engage everyone, oh man.”

    True. You focused on the black chick and excluded the rest of the group. But that’s okay, she got up in your face, if your friend had jumped in sooner he could’ve taken the rest of the group for you and then you could engage them like “Your friend and I like eachother (put the girl’s arm around you and yours around her), we hope you’ll all come to our wedding. Hi my name is Scray.”

    You might’ve been able to re-open the black chick later in the night when her friends get scattered more. She would definitely remember you. But you’d have some work to do with her since you only really got to A1 with her.

    “I don’t think he knew who was the target and who were the obstacles, because the first person he engaged was the person I was talking to.”

    lol that happens. If it’s an obvious set where there’s a hot girl and an ugly girl, it’s clear that you’re after the hot girl, but in a group of girls around the same level it’s harder to tell. He might’ve thought she was giving you shit and that you’re not into black chicks and she was the obstacle etc.

    Come up with a signal of some kind to indicate which girl you’re after so you guys don’t step on eachother’s toes. My friends I go out with regularly know what type of girl is my type and I know what type is their type so usually it’s pretty clear to both of us who gets who. If there’s a bitchy obnoxious in-your-face mother-hen type, I’ll hear my buddy say “you should meet my friend, this is YaReally” because he knows I eat those girls for breakfast (sometimes literally lol)

    “Eventually it just peters out and the all move to a booth in which to sit”

    All good. There’s something Tim from RSD calls “Rhythm 10 Till 2″ which is the observation that it’s extremely rare to meet a girl at 10pm at the bar and extract her right away or escalate on her into a situation where it’s 100% on…she and her girls just got there, they want to drink and dance and catch up and do their girl shit and flirt with boys etc. So you put some time in early in the night, then go approach other sets and find that girl again around midnight when she’s more ready to pull. You’re going with the rhythm of the night and the vibe of the club instead of fighting against it.

    Sometimes with those ones, if her friends are pulling her away but she’s into me, I’ll let her start to walk away so her friends think she’s following them, then grab her arm and stop her with my phone out and say “Hey wait, give me your number incase I lose you or my buddies want to leave…I want to see you again.” and sometimes you can grab a # that you can txt through the night while her friends are off being a drunk shit-show and she sits at their booth txting you as you build Comfort etc. via txt to possibly rendezvous for food after the bar or at least set up a solid Time Bridge for a Day 2 later in the week.

    “We failed…overwhelmed in some way.”

    lol all good, it happens. Look at it this way: the place was a massive sausage-fest and you did more than any of the other hundred+ sausages there had the balls to do. That’s pretty badass. And they all SAW it because they’re all thinking “fuck, why don’t WE have the balls to approach those girls like these guys do?? These guys are pimps!!”

    “He’s like “dude, that was awesome. You opened them. We’re rockstars in this club right now. Look at all these faggots in their nice clothes just standing around. We’ve literally talked to -all- the girls in this place.””

    lol exactly. If there had been more girls there to make it worth staying, you could’ve ridden that social proof into some good shit and snowballed the night into something epic. But hey, no reason to stay in a sausage-fest like that.

    “maybe it was the slight buzz of alcohol, but I shit you not, I became a warrior in that pass.”

    lol at this point you’ve warmed up your social muscles a bit and collected some good reference experience plus you have the fury/intent of being in a bar with some hot girls intead of stuck in a sausage-fest, so your brain is like “alright, let’s do this shit!”

    “that resistance from the other night? Gone. Replaced by — it wasn’t attraction — but just this sort of open-mindedness.”

    lol this will keep improving. These days I generally have to purposely say REALLY obnoxious/asshole-ish things for a set to snub me hard. Like 90% of the time sets are receptive to me chatting them up. This wasn’t the case when I started…at all. lol

    “it felt like…’all right kid, you’ve got a few minutes — WOW us.””

    See they know what you’re doing. They know you’re hitting on them. They know the drug dealer thing is bullshit…but they’re giving you a chance to stand out from the rest of the guys because at least you conveyed that you have enough balls to open them up when they intimidate every other guy in the room. Often a set this hot won’t even get approached for half the night because everyone is too chickenshit lol

    “They all look at one another, and it’s sort of a tepid ‘nah, not really, I mean…yeah nah….””

    See now here is where you would probably have stopped in the past and been like “ehh it fizzled out there’s no vibe, I’m rejected fuck I suck :( ” and left. But 90-10 rule:

    “I point at the 9 (yeah, that’s fucking right) and just say “you’re a hairdresser, right.””

    lol perfect. See they’re a little “uhhh I guess so?” at your approach because it’s that weirdness of someone approaching and they don’t know what to really do, plus they’re also shit-testing a little like, let’s give him the absolute minimum to work with here. The really hot ones will often not give any indication at all that they’re into you because they want to see if you’re confident enough to assume they’re into you (this is all subconscious).

    Brad (I think) from RSD puts this good: Imagine you find a $10,000 bill on the ground. You would shit a brick and jump for joy and run around telling everyone and be SO happy. That’s what it’s like when a cool guy chats up a 6, she shits a brick. But then say Bill Gates finds a $10,000 bill on the ground. Sure, he’s pleased, that’s a nice chunk of money out of nowhere and that’s a cool thing, but he has billions so he doesn’t shit a brick and jump through the roof even though he’s pleased by it. That’s a 9-10 when a cool guy chats her up. It’s just relative.

    That’s why Mystery would Neg 9s and 10s, because he knows they’re not going to give him much to work with, so he has to face-fuck their reality and just shatter the shit out of it before he’ll get to actually communicate with the REAL girl that’s under all that…the girl that’s bubbly and happy in her pyjamas on xmas day when she gets some nerdy gift from her little brother…she’s not this uptight bitch-shield asshole then lol

    So when you accuse her of being a hairdresser with breaking rapport (voice tone inflection going down instead of up at the end, like you’re assertively making statements/observations), pointing at her through the group, she’s just like “woah wtf who IS this guy??” VS if you just sat back and waited for them to ask you questions about yourself (which they won’t do till after the Hook Point) or made inoffensive small-talk.

    “Questions are for pussy betas. I AM right.”

    Perfect attitude. :) Everything you do is right and awesome until proven otherwise and even THEN everyone else is wrong and you’re still right and awesome.

    “She tilts her head and is like ‘well, no…””

    Doesn’t matter! As you know. Do you apologize for your incorrect assumption? No, you’re self-amusing, you’re gonna tell her about your fucking friend.

    “I follow it up….same routine, friend is a hairdresser.”

    If your frame is strong enough, you can convince her that maybe she should BE a hairdresser lol

    Funny story on frame control, Jamie Foxx was talking about Tom Cruise in Collateral and there’s a scene where Tom Cruise is like “Take the money. Go on, you know you want it. Take it, take the money.” and Jamie’s like “I know my line is to refuse the money, but he’s looking at you with that Tom Cruise intensity and he’s telling you take it, you want it, take the money, and suddenly I start thinking “…maybe I DO want the money?”" lol

    “She laughs, and is like ‘yeah! I actually know a lot of hairdressers who wear it this way.””

    Soliiiiid. Every hot girl knows hairdressers lol Your plane went through a shaky storm for a sec, but you held tight onto the controls and bam, broke through to the sunshine on the other side.

    “Now….listen, this may sound stupid, but liiiiike….having a 9 legit show interest in what I said there just was….well….just about the best thing ever.”

    Goddamn right. :) Even if she shoots you down, it’s a fucking 9 shooting you down, way better than being snubbed by some uggo 5. You can GET these girls. If you can act with a 9 the way you act with a 5, you’ll attract her just like the 5.

    “Then, one of the other friends makes a motion — at first I thought she was making a blowjob motion, to insult me, but then I’m like ‘what’s going on over here?’”

    lol good, taking charge, being the authority, owning the set, and including her friends VS snubbing them.

    “and her friends inform me that this one — the 5.5-6 — is ACTUALLY a hairdresser.”

    lol awesome. Such a perfect setup. On top of it, that tells you that 1) the other girls want to be included, these are a bunch of hot girls fighting over YOUR attention, the short guy who had to “tag along” with his friends a few weeks ago…and imagine how this all looks to everyone else in the room, you approaching and taking over this set like that. And 2) they’re now reacting to you instead of going “meh…” and seeing if you’ll leave.

    “I’m about to riff on that thread, probably go into something about how she should meet my hairdresser friend blah blah…”

    Solid, and the “she wants to do a mohawk on me” shit is good, girls love giving their opinion on all that. You could talk to the hairdresser directly about that for a minute and snub your 9 and let her see you work her group as you demonstrate value etc. before allowing her some more of your attention.

    This is all theoretically a really good setup for you. BUT THEN…

    “He enters the set like the Allies entered the beaches of Normandy.”

    Props to him for even jumping in lol a lot of guys would be too chickenshit and leave you hanging.

    “The first thing he says is ‘oh hey, have you met him?’ indicating me. They blink, as though that’s weird, and say ‘uh yeaaaah.’”

    lololol fail on his part! But in his defense he probably panicked and didn’t know what to say/do to get in the set. This is where you have to introduce him and hope that he can pick up the slack and keep up with you, to keep a set like this going. This is why you both have to be social high-value guys, if you bring a lame/shy guy into set, he’ll fuck the vibe up for everyone.

    “Then, my friend engages me. Something shifts in the interaction, and ALL of them turn away.”

    lol shit, ya that went toast. You want to pass the Hook Point before you can ignore the set to talk to your buddy, otherwise they’ll walk off like that. If you’re past the Hook Point and they WANT to know more about you etc., they’ll sit there with a DDB look on their face hoping you’ll give them some attention again while you ignore them to talk to your buddy.

    It’s just an issue of timing, he came in a little sooner than he needed to, and he came in sloppy. But in his defense the set was intimidating so he probably thought “shit he’s definitely going to get blown out fast so I’d better get in there right away” and probably panicked a bit when he got up to them because they were so hot and fumbled entering the set smoothly.

    All good. Remember the reference experience you just earned: That you can cold approach a group of hotties and get a *9* interested in what you’re saying. You. Short-ass little you. :) Again I say, have you grown 2 feet since a few weeks ago? No. You’ve just learned to convey your personality in an optimal/efficient manner.

    “my friend is like ‘ahhh shit, totally misread everything about that. I’m sorry man, that one chick was fucking smokin””

    lol ya he dropped the ball on that one but that’s okay, you guys will find more hotties. :)

    One thing, make sure you guys don’t high-five, cheers your drinks, or give eachother the rock after a group of hotties like that walks off, even if it goes really well. A lot of new guys do this and it instantly signals to the room (since everyone is watching you when you approach a set like that) and any of the girls’ friends aroud you that it’s such a RARE event for you to get to talk to hot girls that you guys have to CELEBRATE it lol You should just act casual and shoot the shit about the set or roll into another set, like it’s just another day at the office for you to be chatting with girls that hot.

    “and that’s where we proceeded to wonder whether she was an 8.5 or a 9 for 20 seconds.”

    lol she’d be a 10 to you guys if she was sucking your dicks. ;)

    “where a live band was playing. I followed for a sec, but then I was like ‘it’s too fucking loud in here, let’s go talk to bitches!’ He’s like ‘ya, in a sec.’ ”

    He was probably a bit out of state after fucking shit up there, and just trying to stall for time and get himself back in the groove. It’s all good. And ya, I hate live bands specifically because they’re always WAY too loud to have a conversation.

    “‘oh yeah, you guys gotten their attention yet? I can never get their attention.’”

    Decent open. I like to joke about showing them my tits to get their attention, or make a bet with her about who’s going to get served first (“you have tits, but I’m busting out my charming smile”) etc.

    “‘oh yeah, you guys gotten their attention yet? I can never get their attention.’”
    “‘nah, but yeah I know what you mean.’”
    “‘you from around here?’”
    ““yeah…””
    ““is this a cool place…””

    zzzzz…lol You’ve fallen into Interview Mode here, exact same game as every other guy. No conveying your personality or teasing or spiking her emotions or anything. You just fell into dialtone mode on this one. She didn’t give you much to work with (one word answer type stuff, not asking you questions, etc.) but that’s where the 90-10 rule comes in…here you’re trying for 50-50.

    “she’s being way friendly, despite the fact that I didn’t use any of the material”

    Friendly does not equal fucking. ;) You’re not pissing her off or weirding her out, so that’s a step up from a few weeks ago lol But there’s no attraction here at all, just friendliness.

    “I was facing the bar, standing straight, and my head was turned. Plus, I was talking slowly.”

    This is all good, but you’re not talking to her “Man to Woman”, you’re talking to her “Friend to Friend”. The interaction just has no charge to it is all. But notice that your vibe isn’t the same as you had before…you’ve created this mundane interaction yourself essentially.

    “Maybe she was friendly because she was just with a dude. Whatever, opened another set, right?”

    lol all good. Nothing you can do about that one. Often if you just shoot the shit with the dude in a cool friendly way, you can actually make friends out of the two of them, then if another girl joins them the dude introduces you to her etc. It’s a little bit awkward/rocky here because he interjected like “umm dude that’s my girl cough cough” lol but you could turn it around if you wanted to.

    Nothing wrong with just wishing them a good night and moving on though. You have other girls to open. :)

    “Immediately, inside I either think that the Universe has finally decided to smile upon me or that this bitch is probably taken. The latter turns out to be true”

    lol This kind of thing happens more in the live music venues, where there are a lot more regulars (like that last girl who knew everything about the bar, she’s probably there a lot) and everyone’s kind of taken and the social circles know eachother but everyone’s friendly etc. Again you could befriend this chick and her dude and she might know some girls she can introduce you to or you might run into her in a couple weeks if you’re there again and now you have social proof etc.

    But nothing wrong with again, wishing them a good night and peacing out to open more sets. Right now you want to collect a ton of reference experience opening. Later on you can worry about building nightlife social circles.

    “I find him at the bar, drinking another drink. He’s like ‘go open those four girls’ and I’m like ‘yeah, those are the ones I already opened.’ He laughs…’hmph, well there aren’t any other good groups to open here.’ So I’m like ‘then let’s get to gettin’.’”

    lol I think he’s out of state here. Same thing as you when you were wandering around “looking lost” the other week. It’s hard to claw back into state and you start distracting yourself with drinks or wanting to leave or getting buddies to approach instead etc. If I can tell my buddy’s falling out of it like that I’ll usually try to help pump him up or embarrass myself with him to get him laughing and shake him out of his head or if we have to, venue change. It’s VERY hard to turn around from a state nosedive without doing something drastic. One of the RSD instructors squirts lime juice in his students’ eyes to shake their senses out of a negative state…I don’t recommend that lol

    “So we go upstairs, and immediately my friend opens this 8.”

    solid. If he WAS feeling out of state, the venue change is like re-rolling your D&D stats lol, it might not help but often resetting like that can change the night entirely and jumpstart you again.

    “Now, I feel like a tool, and I immediately turn around to head back downstairs.”

    One open I like in these situs is to grab a set nearby and go “Hey, my friend is being taken advantage of by a girl over there so I’m all by myself, alone and scared and I figured I’d say hi…take pity on me!!” and then go into riffing about people going home together from the bar and relationships and all that shit.

    “On the way, I spot a 5.5 and a 7 sitting down. The thought was — shit, if I could get a 9 to laugh, surely I could do something with these chicks.”
    :) That’s Reference Experiences in action. THAT’S why I encourage guys to go out instead of Keyboard Jockeying. You need to build those little successes where your brain says “shit if I was able to do THAT, I can obviously do THIS”.

    ““Nah, you don’t look like a drug dealer, but in that blazer you look like you’re ready to do some lines.””

    lol that’s a cool chick. Great vibe, these are my type of girls.

    “I actually laugh. “What….who….ME? No-I-would-never!””

    I’ll often qualify a girl if she actually legit makes me laugh. I’ll tell her not many girls make me laugh like that, what’s your name? and show some interest. Note that she’s winning me over with her personality, not her looks, so it’s qualifying her instead of needy/lame like if I was just interested in her because she had a pussy and I’d take anything with a pussy.

    “We share a laugh — the 5.5′s laughter is a bit more restrained.”

    Ya, ’cause the 5.5 knows she’s boring compared to her friend lol Include her in the fun when you notice this vibe! She won’t blatantly cockblock you because they’re sitting down and her friend clearly has a good vibe with you, but down the road if you don’t address her she’ll fuck it up because she’s not having fun.

    “Then, I get to my hairdresser thing about the green mohawk. They’re into it.”

    It’s solid. And the “fucking with me?” ending is great because you’re not afraid to swear in front of them etc. You’re showing that you’re just a cool guy who’s used to being around girls.

    “Then, I launch into my DHV story — finnnaaaaallllly.”

    Excellent. See, having a gameplan helps hey? :)

    “I talk about how my crazy hairdresser friend pushed some 6’4 guy at a concert and then said I was going to fight him.”

    Not sure about this story. It sort of paints you as a guy who might get into fights at the bar which a stranger who’s just met you can get to thinking “I don’t want to be assosciated with him if he gets kicked out later”. Something better would be an ending where you diffuse the situation with something confident/fun/humorous and the guy supplicates to you.

    I’d tweak it something like “so then the guy turns to me like he wants to go and I go “WOAH, hold on here!” and everyone stops, I look at my friend and go “I don’t wanna’ hit this guy…he’s too ugly as it IS! :D ” and everyone’s eyes go wide open like holy shit did he just say that?? and everyone’s all ready for him to start swinging…but the guy, and he must’ve been a little drunk or something, stares at me for a second and then just BURSTS OUT laughing and slaps me on the back and ends up buying me a beer lol Why do girls always start shit like that up? You two aren’t trouble are you? Hmmm, THIS one is, I can tell…she’s quiet and tiny, but I bet after a few drinks she’s elbowing her way through the crowd like “GTFO of my way assholes!!” lol”

    See that’s the same general story, but in this one you’re building edge-of-the-seat “omg what happened next??” tension and then relieving it with a funny-ass twist, then this AMOG dude supplicates to you, and you smoothly transition into cold-reading the girls you’re talking to and roleplaying/etc. with them. :)

    You’re still demonstrating that you can “protect your friend” and “stand up to a guy” (which is that whole demonstrating that you can protect a girl and handle your shit thing that tall guys demonstrate just by being tall), but you’re doing it in a way that shows you’re socially savvy and cool and a leader of men instead of just another angry UFC wannabe bar douche.

    “the 5.5 gets back onto the topic about the mohawk, and she’s like ‘well, do you mean a mohawk or a faux-hawk?’”

    lol she’s DYING to be a part of the fun. This is actually a really socially awkward thing for her to do, cut a fun thread to go back to an old one lol but you know through your whoooole story she was thinking “ummm umm I wanna ask my question!! I hope he likes my question!!” like a kid waving their hand around in the classroom hoping the teacher will acknowledge them.

    This question also marks passing the Hook Point with the group.

    “At this point, I act as though that’s a really interesting distinction and take the opportunity to sit down across from them.”

    Good, once you sit down you look like you’re a part of their group instead of like “a guy hitting on them”. You don’t have to acknowledge what you’re doing or anything, just sit down like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like, of course you’d sit down, it would be strange for someone to call you out on that.

    Notice that BECAUSE you’re past the Hook Point, it’s okay to sit down. Before the Hook Point, they wonder when you’re going to leave so you need the False Time Constraint. But because you passed the Hook Point, now they hope you don’t leave, so sitting down is welcome.

    “Now, I just instinctively start to focus on the 5.5, because I dunno…I read Ya’s comment about the other ‘STFU girl’ and was like ‘try to ingratiate yourself a little to the obstacle.’ So, I spend time talking with her about stuff and actually kind of cooling it with the 7.”

    Solid play. Very very solid group theory here. Well done!

    Now the catch is that if you focus on the 5.5 TOO much, the 7 will go “My 5.5 friend NEVER gets a cool guy like this, I’ll back off and leave them alone so they can hook up” and then you’re fucked lol. But you avoid that doom perfectly with:

    “I — acting a little ADD while the obstacle talks, bring the 7 back into conversation by pointing at a pyramid shaped ring she has — ”

    This. PERFECT. Now you’re signalling to the 7 “hey, I’m talking to your friend, but don’t think I’m making a move on her…YOU’RE the one I’m actually after.” If you ignored her, the 7 might wander off and leave you with the 5.5 completely thinking you’re more interested in her.

    ““Me too! But then, I’d probably hate you because I mean…you’d still have a FULL ring pop left. What kind of person doesn’t eat the ring pop?!””

    lol all good stuff here. Teasing, roleplaying, push/pull, etc. Also this chick has a good vibe. There are lots of girls like this out there, they’re not all bitchy frustrating awkward shit-testing girls like a lot of guys who “hate North American women” think (because they don’t approach).

    “Then I tell her friend to make up a story about the ring.”

    Good stuff, you’re making them invest in the interaction here. Requiring them to do shit, ordering them around, etc.

    You really do have solid natural instincts for vibing with people, you’re just winging all this ring shit. The difference between now and a few weeks ago is that now you feel more comfortable expressing yourself and you aren’t stifled and restricted trying to think of what would impress them, you’re just shooting from the hip saying what you want to and riffing off your own self-amusement…and they love it because only a guy who’s confident around women can do that.

    “I go with the obstacle’s story”

    lol good, the 7 knows you like her so it’s okay to give her a little shit by choosing her friend’s story. Essentially at this point what’s happening is that the 7 and you are sub-communicating that you dig eachother, but you both kind of know the 5.5 is a little more awkward/lame, so she knows you’re humoring the 5.5 (and most girls like that you’re cool enough to do that) the way you’d know if a really hot girl you were talking to was asking some lame nerd friend of yours to tell her more about his Warcraft hobby lol

    ““Oh really? You’re good at analyzing people? What’s -her- biggest fear?””

    oooooooo this is good. Really good. Now you’re pitting them against eachother sort of and creating this big group interaction and even forcing them to kind of feel a little awkward about it etc. This is one of those things where later on they’ll be like “remember when that guy said such and such??” lol

    “smile (now, this whole time I’ve been facing away from them a bit in my body language, and they’ve been turned toward me…now, I bring myself in), and say “How about -I- go first?””

    Solid. You’re into C1 and transitioning into C2 right now, with both of them. This is all really solid so far. Opening up first about your fear is great, you can build a realllly strong bond here.

    “”my biggest fear is to skydive into a pool full of sharks that then eat me alive.””

    lol funny, but at this specific point you went backwards in the sarge. You were in C1 heading into C2 depending on what you said here, but then you pulled back with some funny/dancing-monkey/humor stuff and dragged the sarge backwards back into A3.

    That was a REALLY solid opportunity to open up about an actual deep fear of yours and really bond and build a connection with them, which would encourage them to really open up about real fears of theirs and take you into a REALLY solid C2.

    By turning it into a joke, you cause them to kind of go “ohhh I was going to open up, but I guess we’re still joking around here, whew, glad I didn’t say anything real, okay I’ll think up a joke answer” and you’re going backwards in terms of building a deep powerful “I’m so intrigued by this guy and the emotions he makes me feel” connection.

    No biggie, I’m just pointing it out so you learn to recognize it in the future. There’s a point where you can slow up on the humor and transition into the comfort/rapport stuff…you can still dip back into the humor, but usually it’s AFTER you connect. So you all share your super deep fears and get into this amazing deep connection conversation bonding…then to lighten the mood in that awkward silence that follows after everyone’s opened up like that, THAT’S when you could go “…also I’m scared of skydiving into a pool of sharks and being eaten alive. Just figured I’d throw that one in there too. ;) ” and relieve all the deep tension and bring you all back to reality again, except now you’ve shared a lot and have a solid C2 connection.

    Hope that makes sense!

    “then she reveals the target’s fear, which is “moving on” from her first love or whatever.”

    Socially akward girl lol

    “I don’t dwell on it, I just spin it into something else”

    Good lol The 5.5 is like a nerdy awkward friend you bring out for the first time who’s like “wow your dress is SHORT!!” to a girl you’re talking to and you’re like “ummm ya so anyway” and have to kind of work around his awkwardness lol

    ““you’re an aquarius….” The target just lights up — like ‘how did you know?!’ blah blah blah. Lucky guess.”

    lol shhhh she doesn’t need to know! ;) I like to throw in stuff like “oh man I’m a (whatever your sign is) I heard Aquarius and Whatevers don’t get along. They just fight all the time. You wouldn’t take my shit and I wouldn’t take yours. We’d have to carry around foam nerf bats so we could just smack eachother.” (oldschool Tyler routine there, “you and I are too similar”, google it, it’s awesome)

    “Right now, I’m feeling pretty awesome.”

    You fucking should lol You’re owning this set right now with really solid game.

    “But the obstacle likes me, and she gives me a hint”

    See if she didn’t like you, like if you had ignored her and not made her feel like a part of the group, she’d've used getting her sign wrong to insult you and try to get you to fuck off. But because she approves of you and doesn’t want you to go, she gives you a hint. :)

    A lot of the obstacles and mother hens that everyone pisses and moans about are actually your ALLY, if you understand group theory and can win them over instead of being a creepy sniper jumping out of the shadows to attack your target and ignore the group.

    This is the girl that when you get the 7s number you can say “Make sure she txts me back okay? And get her home safe.” and the 5.5 will nod furiously and go “OKAY!!!!” and if the 7 is still on the fence about if she wants to see you again her 5.5 will be sitting there going “Do iiiittt!!! Txt him omg he’s so coool!!!!” and can totally turn the tide in your favor.

    “Suddenly, the obstacle is like ‘hey, are you here alone?’”

    lol if you get this question before the Hook Point it’s a shit-test/insult like the vibe is “ugh are you some loser who’s here alone?” But AFTER the Hook Point, and especially THIS far into the sarge, it’s not an attempt to tool you, it’s her thinking “god this guy is SO cool, isn’t he here with friends?? He seems like a guy that should have a ton of friends here, he’s so amazing!!” and they’re genuinely curious.

    When I’d get that while I was solo I would tell them “No, my friends wanted to stay in tonight and I’m new to the city so I figured I’d come out and have some fun.” and they’d DDB me and go “wowwww I could NEVER do that, that’s so ballsy…” like I was the most amazing thing in the fucking world to them lol

    …but that’s AFTER you pass the Hook Point. ;)

    If your buddy is there but you don’t know where he is, I usually say “nah, I came here with my buddy but some girl grabbed him and is taking advantage of him or something lol” because 1) that says you have a friend there but explains why he’s not coming over to you, 2) it sets a tone of “people hook up a the bar”, and 3) it makes your friend seem like a cool pimp because some girl grabbed him and kidnapped him so if he comes over eventually to join your set, he’s already socially proofed to those girls…they’ll ask him “Where’d that girl go?” of course, so fill him in in advance or hope that he can play it off on the fly lol

    “I’m here with a friend and that we’re actually trying to find a girl that keeps texting me to come to a bar, but she keeps failing to tell us where (I’m so sure I must have read about this gambit somewhere).”

    …so basically you chase around girls who lead you on and don’t like you enough to make any effort to find you?

    lol not a set killer, at this point you would have to fuck up a bunch to actually kill the set, but not a DHV. Try my routine (or something else) instead next time!

    “The good news is that I actually do have a female friend who sort of could fit that bill. And that friend is decently attractive.”

    They don’t know that though lol But they like you enough that they probably assume she’s pretty hot.

    “Target immediately asks to see pictures of her. God bless America.”

    lol scopin’ out her competition.

    “Then, like an angel from on high, my friend swoops in again.”

    whew!

    “then proceeds to tackle the warpig like Teddy Roosevelt on Safari”

    lol okay he made up for fucking up that set with the 9 at the other bar. :) Notice that now that he’s had some female attention from that girl from when he first walked in, he’s probably feeling pretty pumped up and in state. If THIS version of your friend had joined your 4-set with the 9, you guys would probably have gotten a lot further with them.

    “Strangely enough, this is where I start to struggle.”

    lol

    “I feel like I told several cool stories that were fun and whatnot, but I didn’t really get to find out a whole lot about her, if that makes any sense.”

    You can flat out say this to her. “I feel like I’ve been blabbing about myself all night…I don’t know anything about you except that you like the Beatles. Tell me something interesting about yourself. Like (insert some interview mode questions here, they’re fine now that you’re in comfort/rapport)?”

    “And we did have a cool conversation about them.”

    At this point the problem is you’re not showing your Intent. You figure this out later which is good, but basically the vibe for her is still a little bit too far into “friend to friend” VS “man to woman”. You’re having a “cool conversation” but it’s not progressing forward in terms of the sarge. She won’t progress it forward generally, you need to lead it.

    That’s why I say you had that really great opportunity with the fears question, but you pulled it back into attraction so now you’re stuck talking about the Beatles instead of being able to drop back into C2 by bringing up “Your friend said you’re afraid of moving on…did you break up recently?” and then transitioning into C3. You’re sort of stuck in A3/C1 now.

    “I managed to kino a little with her (incidental, just putting my hand on her arm when lightly teasing).”

    With kino, a general note to remember is to do it assertively, not hesitantly. Don’t acknowledge it, don’t look where you’re touching, just do it like it’s the most natural thing in the world to you.

    See now if you were able to drop back into C2 and start transitioning to C3, that’s where you could literally just sit beside her and put your arm around her (if the seating allows it lol, you can pull her chair closer to yours if you’re in separate individual seats, it’s a pretty boss move to just reach under her seat and yank her chair closer to yours and put your arm aroud her). And then you’re basically a couple, sharing a deep connection, when in reality you’re in a bar and just met an hour ago.

    But being trapped in A3/C1, that kind of kino feels more awkward.

    “Probably the best thing I did — again much props to Ya — was roleplay.”

    Happy to help and glad you’re listening lol Makes it worth writing these up for ya. :)

    ““Okay, remember your fake story for the ring. We’re going to practice. Pretend you just met me — which you did!””

    Solid to call-back to that, it also shows her that you remember the shit she says…it’s like using her name out of the blue, she’s like “wow he remembered!!” The only part to leave off here is the “which you did”. Don’t remind her you just met or you’ll trigger her ASD lol When you’re building comfort/rapport, she starts to feel like somehow she’s known you FOREVER, even though logically she knows that’s not true…that comfort is the same comfort you build when you venue change her a bunch and she enters a bunch of new environments with you, it’s like she’s known you FOREVER…that’s the vibe that’ll help her sleep with you because then you’re not just some random, you’re someone she feels like she’s known for a long time.

    Notice that you’re not doing one blatant thing to fuck this up, there’s just a handful of little things that kind of pile on eachother (the sharing fears part, reminding her you’ve just met, etc.) to shake her out of the vibe enough to fuck it up.

    ““How droll! We should arrange a marriage swiftly and combine diamonds and rings, why, why…we’ll be unstoppable!””

    Fucking lol. Seriously, once you’re in state and loosened up, you’re spitting out gold here. Some guys might read this and be like “dude you should be cooler like James Bond, this is dancing monkey shit” but those guys are stupid and don’t get how much girls eat this shit up.

    “She laughs and actually starts mimicking the snooty voice ‘yess, yess we should!””

    lol definitely a cool girl. You guys have an awesome FRIEND vibe here. You could have a super solid FRIENDSHIP…being FRIENDS…not having sex. ;) lol

    “(whole interaction was over an hour long)”

    Nice! This is the same guy who had like a 5 sneer at him when he tried to dance-grind up to her at a club a month ago. In an hour long set, running half the set all by himself, purposely gaming a 7 with an awesome personality.

    “And the target smiles and says ‘yeah!””

    She likes you, but having read the next Field Report first we know her number flakes, which is odd…

    “So…I proceed to get both obstacle and target’s numbers”

    …..

    ………………………

    oh SCRAY…lol

    “(I regret this in retrospect. I should have been more direct, I think…in showcasing interest for only the target).”
    :) Yup. well mystery solved at least lol

    See remember that here you’re still kind of trapped in that friend zone vibe with her, since you couldn’t get to C3, and you can’t kino or anything and you’re talking about The Beatles and shit so you’re stuck in this “she doesn’t know my Intent, that I want to fuck her” friend to friend limbo…and then on top of it you grab BOTH their numbers, so then she REALLY doesn’t know if you actually like her or what your deal is.

    PUAs call it a Statement of Intent, but basically there’s a point where you need to make it clear that you want HER specifically, for romantical purposes. A lot of guys will do this way too early in the set when they haven’t got enough attraction yet, and blow themselves out (“why does he want me? I haven’t even done anything yet, he must do this to all the girls”).

    But for you, if you had been able to get to C2 or C3 again, you could drop some “Hey, you’re a fun chick, and I like your style. I want to see you again sometime. Give me your number.” Hell, you could probably still have done it even without C2/C3, you’d just need to run some solid text game.

    The main thing is to qualify her like “You’ve impressed me for THIS reason, SO I want your number BECAUSE of that.” Like so she knows she’s earned it. Then you can solidify it with stuff like “You’re not one of those drunk chicks that hands her number out to everyone are you? hmmm…no…you don’t seem like that type.” and then REALLY solidify it with “(to her 5.5 friend) Make sure she txts me back or my heart will be broken. ;)

    It’s all good though, it’s all a learning experience lol. You may run into her again and you try to recover.

    “But…whatever, that’s my first legit number close I think.”

    It was legit, in that you handled that whole set and pickup like a boss. That was an actual “pickup” to a #-close. Off a cold-approach no less. A lot of guys can’t do that. You should definitely be proud of your progress here. :)

    We know the number flakes, but we can guess why because of your thorough Field Report:

    “I’m pretty sure I made several mistakes. I -know- I did”
    “I was weak in comfort, probably weak in having her qualify herself. Probably did shit out of order, too.”

    lol exactly. :) Live and learn! You’ll tighten that shit up as you meet more girls. Like I say, it’s rarely one huge thing that fucks a pickup up…it’s a bunch of little things that sabotage it collectively.

    “it’s only day 3 of the official Project PUA.”

    lol it’s good that you have a name for it and shit. Embrace it and run with it…100% or 0%, all or nothing, you know?

    “Now, I went out with the goal of opening 20 sets, but I never got that far.”

    It’s good to set goals like that. If you get distracted, you get distracted, but at least you were distracted by hanging with a fun 7…that’s an alright distraction. :) If you were just picking your ass getting drunk in a corner feeling like shit, that’s a fail worth kicking yourself over.

    “It seems like…opening in a way that demonstrates value is pretty solid.”

    Yup. Like I say, we’re looking at “How do I express my personality and demonstrate how awesome I KNOW and my friends KNOW and my MOM knows, but do it in an efficient manner in that tiiiiny little window of “okay you have like 10 seconds to impress us, what do you got?” that girls at the bar give you?”

    You earn 10 seconds, then you earn another 20 seconds, then you earn a couple minutes, then you earn 5 minutes, then they want you to stay with them for half an hour, then they want you to stay till last call, then they want you to come over, then they want to wake up and have breakfast with you. :)

    “Like, the drug dealer opener went over way better when cushioned with the false time constraint”

    Yup, the FTC was a fucking brilliant observation by Style. I use it in a way that fits my personality more, like “Hey, help me out a sec…” which says the same thing as “I can only stay for a minute and then I have to get back to my friends” but in a way that fits my in-your-face vibe more. The concept is the same though, I’m letting them know “I only need your attention for a second…” and they’re more receptive because of it, then you just keep going.

    It’s good that you can notice the difference. Like I say, a lot of PUA game was discovered by going out and approaching 20 girls one way, then approaching 20 more with a slight tweak, and then figuring out “why did it work these times but not these times, what were the common factors?” and backwards engineering what works.

    That’s also why PUA Game isn’t “theory” or “ideas” like the Jockey shit guys who don’t go out regularly spout…it’s consistent principles that are forged out of analysis of mass anecdotal data.

    “and the fact that, rather than my friends giving me that opinion, some random girls -opened- me to give me that opinion.”

    A perfect tweak to it. Instant social proof and DHV by changing it to a girl opening you. If you watch Cajun in Keys to the VIP you’ll notice he does the same thing with that opener, it’s GIRLS that come up to him for drugs, not guys or friends etc. That’s why he’s pro. :) Girls pick up on these little tiny things because their subconscious is primed to look for them because they indicate high-value mates. If you’re too blatant with them (“these supermodels asked me if I have drugs and then gave me blowjobs”) it comes off as fake and try-hard, but when you drop in little subtle things like this it comes off solid.

    “Like, when someone shows a bit of intrigue, I just sort of ‘YEAH AND IF YOU LIKED THAT HERE’S MORE OF WHAT I WAS SAYING OR WHAT I WANT TO SAY, YAAAAAAY!’”

    lolol this’ll fix itself in time. I fall into it a lot because I talk fast in real life, so I have to either roll with it entirely (Russell Brand style verbal gymnastics) or consciously chill out.

    Tyler still does this a lot in his seminar videos, he’ll crack a little joke and the crowd will laugh and you can almost see him thinking “oh you liked that did you?? here’s more!! give me your validation!!!!” and the joke gets awkward and goes on too long lol

    ““Yeah, I actually think she -may- have been a prostitute.””

    lol

    “His words on my success were “yeah, that’s really awesome, I’m really proud of you. -But- don’t fuck up. You will fuck up if you focus on fucking this girl. What I mean is that, just have the same vibe you had when you first started talking to them. You’re like, this guy who has tons of girls in his life, and you know, why not one more? You don’t -need- to fuck her.”

    His advice is very solid. Dude knows his shit. I ended the quoting there because I want to add to that…”You don’t -need- to fuck her…you -WANT- to fuck her.” That’s the key that you were missing by the end of that sarge. You just had “You don’t -need- to fuck her……..” and that’s it, because you got stuck in “friend to friend” land. Stating your Intent and getting into a “man to woman” vibe is where you’d add that “I don’t need to fuck you but you’ve won me over and now I WANT to fuck you” patch that fixes it.

    But ya, really good advice from your buddy.

    “They were nicer this time, so that was nice.”

    lol in the future you’ll be mind-blown if they AREN’T nice. Like it will be so outside of your reality that a girl wouldn’t be receptive/nice to you chatting her up that you’ll think she’s mentally damaged.

    “But I mean…when that 9 (or 8-8.5 whatever) laughed, even a little, it was a good moment. A hopeful moment.”

    Damn right. That’s why we get hooked in the game. :) Even now, I’ve talked to a ton of girls, but when I meet one that blows my mind looks-wise and is just totally my type, it’s like the adrenaline flows and everything in that conversation feels 1000x better than even having sex with a bunch of average chicks.

    You would actually do better with the hotter girls than the ugly/average ones BECAUSE of your height. It’s such an unexpected thing for a short guy to approach a smokin’ hottie that automatically you gain a foothold of “wow he’s either stupidest man in the world, or the most confident man in the world” lol

    Whereas a 6’4″ guy is EXPECTED to approach those kinds of girls, so when he does he doesn’t get any bonus points.

    Like I say, the short guy players I know who do well with girls are always hooking up with 8+ chicks that make you go “wtf?? how did that happen??” and I think this “getting extra bonus points” is a part of it. Logically most people would think “oh well a short guy has to settle for a 4-6 because he’s not a 10 himself” and even some gamers believe in the “you can get 1 point above or below you” notion…but when you go out a lot and you meet a lot of people and you see how it really works, you run into little nuances like this where a short guy can get 8+ girls because he’s figured out how to use his height to his advantage.

    “Cold approaching seems pretty solid”

    It’s a rush, and super fun, and makes you keep on your toes, and the satisfaction when you’re boning a chick who was literally a complete stranger just a few hours ago or on your first date is like, there’s no better feeling lol

    “and I totally disagree with me other friend who thinks it’s ‘dumb’ and ‘cool people don’t do that.’”

    Your friend is lame and scared and his ego is terrified of other people judging him. That’s not the kind of guy that’s going to land 9s and 10s. Keep doing your think, fuck anyone who thinks like that and tries to stifle you or put restrictions on what you can accomplish.

    “I watched pretty much every other guy in the pubs, clubs, etc. just stand there like chodes…messing with their bros or keeping to their social circles. It’s empowering.”

    Yup. This is why when people talk about the good looking rich guys who are slaying all the 10s at the bar it’s like no, actually go out and watch those guys. 90% of the time they stand aroud on Death Row fucking terrified and overwhelmed by the club environment and they either get drunk and hang with their bros in a chode-crystal commenting on how hot all the girls are, or they stick to girls in their social circle or go home with uggos who open them.

    Meanwhile you are walking through the club like you own the place, making girls laugh and smile and flirting with them, grabbing #s, and down the road grabbing kisses and getting booty calls, etc. while they stand there along the wall of the bar going “lol that guy is SO try-hard…let’s do another shot bro!!”

    “Ya, you were totally right about talking to hotter chicks. Way more fun.”

    I’m always right. ;) Glad you’re having fun, keep it up! You have the natural instincts to be good at this.



Powerful Nonverbal Openers

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via Heartiste

Days of Broken Arrows
on January 7, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Original Link

Thanks for the props. I wanna drop some knowledge about field experience I had with this.

When I was 17 I almost died. When I ended up living (to everyone’s surprise) something weird came over me and I started taking all these strange risks, thinking I didn’t have long, so why not make the most of it? One of the things I would do was just walk up to whatever girl in school (or at the mall) I felt like and just say anything:

“Hey, can I have a french fry or two? I’m starved!”

“Got a quarter for the vending machine.”

“Suzanne! Wait, you’re not Suzanne. Well, can you pretend to be Suzanne for a sec?”

“Hey, so you feel like getting married so I can have tall kids” (said to a freakishly tall but hot female basketball player — worked too).

At a fourth of July celebration I sat down next to the hottest girl and said:
“Hey can I sit on your blanket?” “Um, can I have some of that soda?” When everyone started chuckling after she gave me the soda and asked if I wanted chips I said “Hey, how about $20?” Her response: “Only if you spend it on me.”

Anyway, after you go in, if you don’t want to screw things up, like “immoralgables” mentioned, you have a few choices. Establish yourself then get out ASAP if you know you’re gonna see her again. Or STFU and ask a lot of qu’s — the more she knows about you the more she can rule you out. Or break the convo and pick up in a joking manner a bit later (“…So you’re still not Suzanne, are you?”).

The trick is to treat these engagements as if you really do have only one or two years left to live. All told, I got about two years of natural game out of my near-death experience. You need to have natural bon vivant, though. It also helped I’d read a bio on Keith Moon and tried to live like him for a while.


  • YaReally
    on January 7, 2013 at 10:01 pm
    Original Link

    “First you have to know…not fear, KNOW…that someday you are going to die. Until you know that, you are useless.” -Fight Club

    Still one of the most important movies for a man to watch.



Stop Looking At Girls From Across The Room

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via Heartiste

Scray
on January 6, 2013 at 6:53 am
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Phew….Field Report time.

I’m still stuck at this place of ‘I feel like they fucking hate me.’ I’ve learned, over the years, to trust my gut read of situations. So, it’s likely true that indeed, these chicks hate me ;D

Friday:

Nothing much going on, so we decide to go to someone’s birthday party at a pub. We go there, and the pub is packed. I notice immediately that this would be a great place to sarge.

Warm Approach 1:
Plain girls — two of them, one slightly better looking than the other (tall, gangly, nerdy) one, but I’m trying to get warm. So I approach, I kind of know one of them. I start by asking about our one thing in common — our grad program. She graduated already and is working in the field, so I just open up the conversation. I let her talk for a little bit before I interrupt and point out her jacket.

“That’s a really cool jacket. With the scarf it kind of looks like something a western gunfighter would wear.”

Clearly I’m not in good form tonight. She blinks a few times, but offers a tepid smile, then nods — but really, nothing. I try to steer the conversation in a few different, non-work/school directions, but I get shut down pretty fast.

Then, her little black friend comes up (now there’s three). Now, seriously, this girl looks like a frog. But cool, I think, ‘I’ll be nice and fun.’ So I say ‘hey, do you go to grad school with us?’ She glances to me with a stone face, then gives a slow nod, like she’s looking at a homeless man. I could give a shit — she looks like a goddamned toad — so I introduce myself, and she gives her name in return — again, in the flattest way possible.

Then, almost immediately, her and the original target start having inside conversations and stop paying attention to whatever I say. The tall, lanky one is too far away to talk with, so I’m just kind of left there. I attempt to interject with ‘man, must be some conversation, are you guys fighting?’ Then, the original target looks at me and is like ‘we’re talking about her wedding.’ And I blink, “Oh yeah? Which one…who’d she get married to?” Then she responds, in an almost shrill tone “Her fiance.” I make a mistake “Since he’s her husband now, and we’re talking about him in the present, do we say she married her husband, or is it still fiance?” She repeats herself. Mentally, I tell myself that I hate the sexual marketplace, it’s bullshit, yadda yadda yadda. I accept defeat soon enough and just eject.

I talk with a few other friends for awhile, internally pissed off that even froggies act like they’re better than me. But, I just deal with it.

As I’m talking with my friends, this one girl walks by. So, background info — on NYE I got blackout drunk, so the hours of 7-12 are a blank to me. Apparently during those hours, I drunk-texted/dialed her. So, when she sees me she’s like ‘hey did you text me? I couldn’t tell what you were texting!” And I’m not quite out of my funk, so I’m like “oh, I was just texting my undying love for you. It’s cool.” She nods, kinda grinning “Oh. Cool!”

Internally I melt down, so when a friend asks if I want to go play some pool across the street, I accept. I play a game. During the game, I tell myself to get my ass back to the crowded pub and DO. SOMETHING. Just anything. I pump myself up — the plan’s simple, just to go there and tell three girls that I love them. Ha. That’s where I was.

So, when I finally lose at pool and my other friend steps in to play, I leave them behind and set out on that mission.

Approach anxiety totally killed me, and I cruised the bar for like ten minutes like a tool doing nothing. Then, I’m making way through a big crowd, and I bump into this one girl. She turns, and I’m like, ‘wow, I just fell in love with you. You believe in love at first sight — of course you do.’ The girl blinks, then she reaches out and grabs the ropes on my jacket (they tighten the hood), then neatly ties them. Before I can respond, the drunktext girl from before finds me, turning me around. FYI drunktext is significantly taller than me. She’s like “hey, you’re walking around here — are you lost? You look sort of confused, I’m concerned.” I blink a few times, then shake my head with a smile. “Plus, you’re like ‘yay high, so…’” Have nothing to respond with, I just stand there and blink. Then she laughs, tapping me on the shoulder, and says she’s just kidding. I just nod slowly and say nothing — I dunno, I didn’t have it in me. After a pause “all right, so yeah, see you later.” Then I turn around and leave.

I run into another group of people, and a girl in that group says ‘hey, that’s a nice sweater,’ and I respond with ‘thanks, I really love you.’ But I don’t stop, I just keep moving through the crowd. And then that was it for Friday. Turrible.

Saturday:

A friend asks what i’m doing, and I say that after I’m done hanging out with everyone, I’m headed back down to that same pub to talk to girls. He’s like ‘alone?’ And I was like ‘yeah.’ He’s like ‘well….why not just go with a group, then leave them for awhile to talk to girls at odd intervals.’ We have a back and forth about this — anyway, his conclusion is that he thinks sarging alone is gay and a last resort for when you don’t have a group. He’s like ‘dude, you have friends — use them. That way you have somewhere to go back to after each group of people you talk to.’

Now, I have another friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend who is all about going out and just talking to girls. Unlike a lot of the other people I know, he’s not particularly good-looking, is overweight (moreso than me — which is saying something, because my bodyfat is like 22 percent trololololol). So he’s like ‘yeah, groups can become crutches. I like to go out with like, one…maaaaybe two…guys, split up, wing when we can, and just spend two or three hours out. If you’re looking to get good, you need to get out there like four nights a week for awhile.’

So, me and him hit the pub. We see a group of people we know — set of one guy, three girls. We move in — I notice something different about the way he interacts versus how I interact. Unfortunately, this interaction I can’t remember as well, but in general, it was/is hard for me to get anyone’s attention/enthusiasm. Whereas, he got into several sustained, fun interactions. It’s hard for me to figure out what I’m doing wrong, I’m standing up straight, trying to point my feet away, trying to speak from my diaphragm, and trying to maintain an open posture. I also notice that I don’t have that many interesting things to say, beyond stupid shit like ‘that’s an interesting scarf/jacket….it’s like a [insert random observation]”

Next interaction, we go upstairs.
Set 1:
Three girls, HB 7, a 6, and like…a 4.5-5. I try to approach at an angle, feet pointing away, and I say

“hey, can I ask you guys a question?”

6 whips out a phone after the FIRST word I utter and stares at it, along with the 7 (guessing there’s some sort of text drama brewing). Only the uggo sort of responds with

‘meh, no, that’s weird…but it is -this- area of town so….’

The uggo actually helps me by asking her friends whether I look like a drug dealer. The 6 can’t be bothered, because she’s on her phone, so I just say

“Oh man, what’s going on there, eh?”

Then the uggo is like

“Oh, they’re fighting.”
I widen my eyes

‘what?”

The 7 glances up, having not heard all of what I said, but she’s like

“Yes, it’s a -lover’s- quarrel.”

I pick up the vibe that she’s trying to shoo me away, but I respond with

“Between YOU two?”

Indicating the 7 and 6. The 6 sort of rolls her eyes and is like

“Uh. Yeah.”

I respond “So, you guys are lesbians then?”

The 7 goes with it — but man, is it grudging.

“So how often do you guys just spontaneously make out?”

The 7 is like “We don’t really do that in public.”

And I’m like “Ohhhh…….who calls the shots? It’s seems like this one on the phone is more the badass, and you’re the prim proper one in the relationship. You’ve got the hoop earrings and the feathered hair.”

She nods, and looks up to ask what I said about her hair — but the 6 is just. not. having. it. After another 20 seconds, everyone is just looking at the phone. Another defeat, and I move on.

Set 2:

Three more plain looking girls — not totally cold, because they’re people who are friends of friends. The one I address is like a 4, the one on my left is like a 6, the one on my right is like a 5, on her phone. So, anyway, I walk up

“Hey, quick question before I get back to this group behind me…do I look like a drug dealer?”

The 4 takes time with the question, and then, she asks about what’s on my neck. I’d forgotten to take off my bluetooth before going into the club. So she asks what it is.

“It’s a time machine.”

She blinks.

“What?”

“Yeah. I’m from the future.”

I remembered that line from before, so I figured I’d give it another try tonight. She laughs, and I continue.

“Yeah, I actually know what’s going to happen before it happens. For example, these two, on the left and right, are going to get into a huge ass fight in a few minutes.”

The 6 turns to look at me, “really?”

“Yeah…you guys are going to have words. When the time comes, just know that -she- stole -it-.”

I say, indicating the 5. So, I riff for a few more seconds, then the 5 chimes in with.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever shut the fuck up.”

Again, internally I’m outraged that this is just how the world works. That people can just be complete assholes with impunity. If I would have retaliated in kind, I’m sure several whiteknights would have ridden to the rescue. But, I know I can’t just call her a stupid bitch, so I just settle with a laugh (prooooobably not that congruent sounding though)

“See, that’s the kind of hostility I’m talking about…she’s gonna beat the shit out of you.”

At this point the set pretty much falls apart — the 6 kinda shrugs, the 4, bless her heart and limited options, tries to stay with me. But at this point, I ain’t staying around for a goddamned 4, so I dip back into the larger group.

So, interesting thing to note with that 5, when she retreated to another larger group of people and I retreated to my group of people…I saw her look at me several times. I mean, I’m pretty sure she was looking at me at least. In my mind I’m like ‘how can someone -hate- me so fast lol?”

Anyway, later I chat up a guy who’s also on the outer orbit of this social circle. The 5 is standing to my left, back turned, and so I try to make my way past her to another people, and he’s like

“naaah man, just grind up on it, yeaaaah…”

And I laugh as I pass and I’m like

“naaah dog, I can’t spill this drink.”

She turns around to see me there again, then the guy and me and her get into a conversation. I forget exactly what he said, but her response was

“Yeah, I’m going to break his fucking nose.”

At this point, I’m like ‘fuck this bitch, she’s a cunt.’ So I just smirk again with a shrug

“So if you were going to do it, how would you do it?”

And she says something, but I can’t hear her.

“What? Pegasus, unicorns? Nah those things don’t exist, you’re bad at this game!”

Then I turn and start talking to another group composed of the 4 from earlier, a new girl who’s like a 4.5, a drunk uggo 3. I talk to them for a few minutes, the drunk uggo lets me know she has a boyfriend — no prompting. (Now I’m pissed off because I’m like ‘jesus fucking christ kill me now if these 3′s and 4′s are going to start being difficult.’ That’s completely new to me.)

At this point, I turn around again — 5 is still standing there, talking to another friend of mine, a fat 4 (who is really nice and social and bought me a drink earlier……..and also seems to know goddamned everyone) and the fat 4 asks me how I’m doing, and I’m like ‘sheeeit, I’m great, I’m about to domestic violenced up in this motherfucker.’

The 5 waves a hand at me and is like ‘he’s fucking drunk, whatever,’ and walks away. I wasn’t drunk at all, in any way. Like, I didn’t even finish the drink fat 4 bought me.

Sets 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8:

Me and my friend change venues. I’m kinda bummed and he’s like ‘nah, fuck that. It’s going take a long time to get good. Those sets are over.’ We get to the new venue, and he takes up a spot, leaning on the bar — he’s like ‘this is a great spot, lots of bitches have to walk by. Here’s where we’ll ply our trade.’ So, he’d just point out girls and I’d go open them.

I start noticing a pattern. Most of these sets went like this: ‘Can I ask you a question, do I look like a drug dealer?’ Blah blah blah, then I make some lame-assed observation. Never generate attraction, it’s awkward, I’m awkward, shit peters out, I leave.

Now, one set went okay I guess. Set 7. Two girls walking by, a 6 and a 7. The 6 slows down and actually takes time to answer the question, whereas the 7 is just on the way out.

6: “A drug dealer…what? Uhhh noooo…”

7 (in a hurry/impatient): Oh yeah, you look like a drug dealer, like brooklyn, yeaaah.

Me (to the 6): “Yeah, someone actually asked me for weed.”
I notice that she’s completely facing me with a grin.

The 7 makes to leave
Me: “So is she (the 7) the badass of the two of you? She’s got the leather jacket, she looks pretty hardcore.”
6: “hahhaah well tonight she is, but sometimes I wear the leather jacket y’know…”
The 7 is trying to wrap things up, then my friend walks in, jabbing an index finger at the 7.
Friend: You ride motorcycles? Like them crotch rockets, eh leather jacket?!”
Both of them turn to look at him, answering at the same time…something like ‘yesyes/oh yeah!’
Friend: Yeah, really awesome, like Judas Priest and shit.
7: Ha, but they’re gay!
Me: And tough. Gay and tough.

This continues for a few more seconds, and then the 6 is like ‘you guys are really funny!’ but 6 and 7 are leaving.

My friend seems to be glancing around the room before they’ve even left.

I’m pretty much done with the night — it’s been three and a half hours. I need a break. My friend is like ‘hey, watch your feet. I noticed that a lot of the time your feet were pointing at them.” Now, I’ve been trying to have my feet pointing away, but maybe I’m still doing it a lot.

I watch my friend get some girl’s number. I actually watch her go from -cold- to lukewarm the longer he talked to her. I mean, the logistics of the whole situation were terrible for him, but whatevs.

Anyways, that’s what I did in my double ‘wannabePUA’ life this weekend.
I’m going to try to get out there every Weds, Thurs, Friday, Sat. Probably going to get out there late late on Friday/Sat, cause on Saturday I didn’t even go out until 11:30.

So yeah…it sucks still. Me coming up with decent shit to say seems to be very very inconsistent.

My friend says I just need to, after getting the feet thing down, just polish an opener, false time constraint, transition, and DHV story. So, this upcoming week, I hope to have all of that shit down, rather than just an opener.


  • YaReally
    on January 9, 2013 at 8:20 pm
    Original Link

    Alright, let’s take this mofo down lol sorry for the delay. On a side note, when I first got into pickup I had a 9-5 job that I was pretty adept at and didn’t have overtime, so my weekly routine would basically be Sunday – Wednesday read pickup stuff (Field Reports by other PUAs, PUA archives (Fast Seduction died but you can find The Tyler Digest online still at least), Mystery Method, etc.) and then Thurs-Sat I would go out and try to apply a few of the concepts I read about. I’d write my Field Reports either right when I got home (while everything was fresh) or the next day or on Sunday.

    This setup would give me the first half of the week to replay the weekend in my head and get advice and do research etc. on the situations I ran into, and usually by Thursday I’d have some new things to take out into the field and try applying. Rinse and repeat.

    I did get into going out like 4-6 nights a week down the road, but that was after I had a solid understanding of the basics and just needed more time applying them…at the start I was just consuming mass amounts of information. I was reading this stuff on my phone in the shitter at work lol That’s why now I have an encyclopaedia of pickup information in my head.

    Also I wasn’t slaying pussy left and right, I had a ton of nights like the Friday you describe here. Hell, I would’ve WISHED for a night like your Friday…you actually TALKED to people. I shit you not, probably half the nights I went out I was going out solo and would spend like 9pm-2am wandering around just trying to work up the balls to do a SINGLE approach, and probably half of THOSE nights I wouldn’t even manage to open that one set and I would go home kicking myself feeling like a loser.

    So don’t feel bad. Some guys might ask me “Why the fuck did you do that? That’s crazy, think of all the time and energy you invested, you could’ve climbed a mountain or something manly instead and probably gotten laid” and ya, that’s probably true. But 1) I was drawn to the chess-game aspect of consciously gaining social dominance and found it fascinating that this was something I could become better at so any tiny little successes I had would keep me sucked in chasing the next little success, and 2) I banged a chick in the ass this weekend and almost 3-somed her with her chick-friend lol That time and energy was all worth it, years later. :)

    “I’ve learned, over the years, to trust my gut read of situations.”

    You’re good at reading the vibe, it comes through in your posts, so keep trusting that. It’s a skill that a lot of the really socially inept type guys don’t have or have to develop, so you’re starting with an advantage over them at least.

    “So, it’s likely true that indeed, these chicks hate me ;D”

    lol that won’t go away for a loooong time. Just remember, they don’t hate YOU, they hate how you’re presenting yourself to them. If you went up to your best friend and started punching him in the face every time you guys greeted eachother, he would start to hate you too…you’d be the same guy he liked before, except you’d be presenting yourself in a shittier way. Just a little mental frame to keep in mind and make the rejections/snubs easier lol
    “but I’m trying to get warm.”

    Good stuff. Approach anything at first. Warm sets, ugly sets, easy sets, dudes, people on the street, the convenience store guy when you go buy breath mints (you have minty fresh breath when you approach, right? lol you’d be surprised how many guys go up to girls with beer breath lol) etc.

    One of the things I used to do when I was heading out solo or heading to meet up with a buddy, is I’d go a few minutes early and on my way to the bar I would stop random sets on the street (anyone who looked like they weren’t in a shitty angry mood, ideally the happy party type people but anyone neutral is cool too) and ask if they knew where the bar I was heading to was. I knew where it was, obviously, but I’d just pretend it was my first time there and that my friend wants me to come out but SHE (DHV! Social proof!! lol) didn’t give me an address and isn’t responding on her phone. etc. etc. All I’d do is try to get vague directions to the bar (“keep going that way” is fine, I don’t really care about the details) and then ask what they think of the bar (“is it full of drunk chicks who are gonna throw up on my shoe? lol”), and if the vibe is good I’d ask them where they’re heading and which place is better.

    I didn’t even try to number close or anything, I’d just say thanks and if the vibe was decent I’d joke that maybe we’ll stumble into eachother drunk later (if the vibe is bad, that sounds stalkerish lol) and head on my way. Often all that would happen is they’d give me some vague directions and then keep walking, but that’s fine. The whole point was just to warm up. If I did 2 or 3 of those, and then chat with the convenience store guy, etc. by the time I’d hit the bar I’d already have a couple reference experiences of “you won’t die if you talk to strangers” which helps shut the anxiety in your brain down a bit.

    The only thing to remember with these warm-up sets is to pick sets that can escape you lol Like if you ride the bus and you chat up whoever’s beside you, if it goes shitty, you’re both stuck there and it’s awkward and that’ll fuck with your night instead of help it. But if it’s someone you’re passing on the street as they’re walking the opposite way, hey, they can just walk off, no biggie. It’s like Style says, the biggest fear most people have when strangers approach is “How long is this guy going to be here?” That’s why we drop in a False Time Constraint like “Hey, I gotta head to this bar, I’m running late to meet my friend, but I don’t know where it is…Help me out will ya?”, so they know “oh, okay, this person won’t follow me around all night”.

    Sometimes guy-friends will see you chat randoms and be like “dude why are you talking to a fatty, you can get better girls that that man, why do you want to fuck a fatty?” or like “why are you talking to those dudes?? Do you know them? That’s weird man” and you have to just mention “lol it’s all good, I’m just getting talkative, I’ve been staring at a computer screen all day (or whatever your job is).”

    “I let her talk for a little bit before I interrupt and point out her jacket. “That’s a really cool jacket. With the scarf it kind of looks like something a western gunfighter would wear.”"

    This really isn’t bad. You’re just rattling off what’s on your mind, it’s a good thing. The problem is:

    “She blinks a few times, but offers a tepid smile, then nods — but really, nothing.”

    …often people don’t know what to do in an unexpected/unusual situation. :) Believe it or not, a lot of the people you’ll meet out and about are actually a little socially awkward, especially early in the night when they’re sober and they’ve been staring at a computer screen all day too.

    Alexander from RSD talks about making a “Statement of Empathy” at 2:35 in this video:

    I say a lot of pretty “in your face” outlandish shit to people I’ve just met so a lot of time people don’t know how to process what I’m saying/doing. It SEEMS like they’re unimpressed with me, but what’s really going on is they just don’t know how to react because it’s something out of the blue. Everyone knows how to react when someone asks about the grad program, everyone talks about that, that’s easy, you can do that on auto-pilot. But western gunfighter jacket? wtf? Thanks?? This guy is WEIRD…

    Alex talks about using “I know you think I’m crazy lol I just came from blahblah and–” and you kind of normalize the weirdness of the situation by acknowledging it. Thinking on it, I actually have two versions that I use. One is when I KNOW I’m sounding retarded (had a Redbull so I’m wired, or just my game is terrible that night and I just know I sound like an idiot lol) I’ll say “Sorry, I’m drunk and wired on Redbulls and I say inappropriate things, don’t listen to anything I say lol” which usually makes them laugh in relief that I’m aware of how insane I am and then try to resume a normal conversation. But if I know THEY’RE the retarded ones (the hot bitchy girls who are just acting like I’m an idiot because it’s part of their shit-test screening, or the normal girls who are just socially inept at that particular moment), and what I’m saying is gold/normal and there’s no reason for them to be reacting weird to it, I’ll say (with a BIG OL’ CHEEKY GRIN, not in a mean way) “It’s okay, that was a compliment, this is where you say “Thank-you for complimenting my jacket, YaReally, you’re so observant and charming!”. :D You’re not hammered right now, are you? :D Are you going to throw up on my shoe? :D lol”

    I would use the latter on your jacket girl. You really didn’t say anything weird there, she was the one being awkward.

    One of my super short buddies who can take over a room of strangers easily has a bunch of these because he’s so short (5’2″) but so out-going and makes dirty jokes and innuendo and shit, that people don’t know how to process what he’s saying because it’s like “wtf, is this really happening?” Often what’ll happen is some hot chick will make a flirty comment or dirty joke or something to someone in the group and then he’ll come back with something WAY over the top that’s even dirtier (and funnier lol) and she’ll look at him aghast like he’s a monster and he’ll go “Oh, what, THAT was too much? You’re sitting there talking about shaving your cooter and I’M the inappropriate asshole here? lol” and her and the group will crack up and often you can tell her attraction spikes toward him. But see how he’s coming from the frame of “what I’m doing is normal and fine, YOU’RE the one acting weird.” He has a really strong frame 24/7 which is one of the reasons he gets laid.

    The problem right now is that your frame isn’t very strong, so you’re looking at her to define “is what I’m doing weird?” So she blinks and kind of semi-nods, and you’re like “ah fuck, that was weird of me to say, ugh, lemme try to salvage this by changing the conversation around…” Compare that to your other Field Report where you stormed out onto the patio going “Who the FUCK is out here?” or whatever, where you weren’t looking at all to anyone else to define if that was strange or not.

    Don’t stress this too much, this happens at the start of the night a lot when you’re out of state…once you get into state (get chatty/flirty with people and start feeling awesome/invincible), you internally define what’s normal/weird and your frame is strong and other people fall into it.

    “I try to steer the conversation in a few different, non-work/school directions, but I get shut down pretty fast.”

    All good lol one of the solid things about you is that you don’t prematurely eject which is a problem a lot of new guys have. They go “omg it didn’t go flawless, she’s shooting me down, I’m out of here!!” and run away, when really it was just like, she didn’t know how to respond or he read into something too much or she wasn’t offended enough that he couldn’t turn it around still, etc. and they bail to avoid feeling any awkwardness.

    It’s good that you stick in, it teaches you to handle social pressure. Like getting up to do a speech at Toastmasters where you’re learning to have tons of people watching you as you speak…it’s scary as balls, but the more you do it the more you get used to the pressure and the less it freaks you out in the future, which is a big part of confidence. :)

    This is why when guys go mountain climbing and shit, ya, you’re a badass alpha and that’s great…but when you get to the bar, can you deal with the social pressure of approaching a hot girl? Because that’s a different kind of pressure that you didn’t learn to deal with when you were climbing that mountain. Often the answer is that no, they can’t, even though logically the Keyboard Jockey theorists think “wtf he climbed a MOUNTAIN, it’s just some girl in a bar, he’d have no problem”. In action, often (like 90%+ of the time) those guys are still chicken-shit with women.

    Contrast that to PUAs who will do shit like approach mixed sets of guys/girls, or couples on a date, or people in situations that are seemingly impossible or awkward like through the window of a restaraunt etc. Those guys are learning to handle the social pressure of “everyone is watching and judging me right now but I’m going to ignore it and stay the course and not let that sway me from attempting to achieve this goal”. :)

    Roosh had a post on his site slagging RSD this week and I shit all over the Manosphere in my response because I think a lot of the Manosphere guys only approach girls that are easy sets and run away from any kind of challenge whatsoever, and as a result they don’t know how to deal with any kind of setback, so a guy like Roosh comes to a North American city like Toronto and all the girls seem like bitches and all the guys seem like jerks and it’s a horrible experience because he hasn’t built up that skillset of handling non-optimal approaches.

    Same time, some of the overly-enthusiastic RSD style guys can take it a little far and get themselves thrown out of bars and malls and shit, so you have to use some common sense and social calibration lol

    “So I say ‘hey, do you go to grad school with us?’ She glances to me with a stone face, then gives a slow nod, like she’s looking at a homeless man.”

    Odds are what happened here was that either your Gunfighter girl or her friend “girl coded” to the Frog “help us!!” and she came over to just fuck shit up with you. Proooooobably it was after your jacket comment where the vibe went to shit because it sounds like it was alright from there. Also it sounds like they didn’t know when/if you were going to leave, so for all they know you’re the guy who’s going to try to hang with their group all night long if they don’t get rid of you…this is again where the False Time Constraint comes in, or leaving on a high note (get her to laugh and then go “I gotta’ go take a piss, have a good night!”), etc.

    For girls especially, it’s a very real problem that if they’re friendly to a guy they aren’t attracted to, he’ll end up thinking he has a shot and follow them around all night and they get stuck with him. Imagine if that Frog was like “Hi, my name is Frog!!!” and got all up in your space and followed you around all night while you’re trying to approach hotties. You’d be like “fuuuuck go awayyyyy” lol

    “Then, almost immediately, her and the original target start having inside conversations and stop paying attention to whatever I say.”

    It’s all good, this is part of why I figure she thought she was saving them. The irony is that if you had met Frog under different circumstances, she might be the nicest girl in the fucking UNIVERSE to you, but in that scenario she thought she was Batman swooping in to save her friends from you. This kind of thing happens in bars a lot because everyone assumes a guy talking to a girl is trying to fuck her, so a lot of people are over-protective, thus the mother hens and cockblock friends and AMOG guys and shit that leap out of the shadows all the time.

    Another way to handle these situations is to diffuse them by Disqualifying yourself (ie – imply that you’re not trying to fuck their friend). Acknowledge the situ (Statement of Empathy), then Disqualify yourself, so I use stuff like “lol don’t worry, I’m not hitting on your friend. I just recognized her from class and my buddy went to the pisser so we’re just shooting the shit. :) So are you in her grad class too?” or if it’s someone you don’t know and who isn’t in your social circles or anything I’ll use “lol don’t worry, I’m not hitting on your friend, I have a girlfriend. My buddy went to the pisser and I’m bored so I’m just shooting the shit. :) So how do you two know eachother?”

    One important thing to note there is that I’m transitioning after I say that stuff. So I Empathize, Disqualify, then instead of waiting for her to respond (because what’s she gonna’ say “oh sorry I was a bitch there”? lol), I just act like everything must obviously be smoothed over now so let’s talk like normal people. Like 90% of the time they’ll warm up to me after that because they realize I’m not a threat. It doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck their friend or anything, but it at least helps keep the set from getting awkward and I can leave it on the next high note and tell them to have a fun night instead of:

    “Mentally, I tell myself that I hate the sexual marketplace, it’s bullshit, yadda yadda yadda. I accept defeat soon enough and just eject.”

    …the feels of which I know all too well. :)

    This is why I say at this point you’re learning more the ins and outs of social interactions, VS tearing down pussy left and right. You’re learning to handle these kinds of things so that down the road you’re handling them on instinct (the way I do now, even though I had to consciously figure this stuff out like you are back when I started) and you can go “oh, whoops, awkwardness, okay fixed it, now back to seducing this girl” and it’s just a little road-bump in your sarge instead of a brick wall.

    Pickup is more about doing a million little things right instead of a couple big ones.

    For the wedding talk, see how if you view it from their frame of “this guy is trying to fuck my friend, and he’s going to follow us around all night and we really don’t want him to so I’m going to go in and save my friend from him and make him go away so that we know he isn’t going to lurk around us all night”, this:

    “I attempt to interject with ‘man, must be some conversation, are you guys fighting?’ Then, the original target looks at me and is like ‘we’re talking about her wedding.’ And I blink, “Oh yeah? Which one…who’d she get married to?” Then she responds, in an almost shrill tone “Her fiance.” I make a mistake “Since he’s her husband now, and we’re talking about him in the present, do we say she married her husband, or is it still fiance?””

    …is like a fucking nightmare to them? :D Like you’re doing GOOD at keeping the conversation going by asking questions and taking an interest and shit, but they’re viewing your actions through a really tainted lens at this point. If they were viewing you through the lens of “omg my friend totally wants to fuck this guy, she thinks he’s so amazing, and she hopes he never leaves the conversation they’re having and I’m going to go in and help her fuck him”, the EXACT SAME SHIT that you said would have gone over AMAZING and they’d have LOVED you.

    It wasn’t what you were saying there, it was that they were viewing you through a shitty lens because you weren’t able to diffuse that lens and replace it with a better one. :) Again I’m not saying you could turn it around and fuck Gunfighter chick, but it was probably possible to at least steer the interaction into a vibe where you’re just a normal guy shooting the shit and go on your way with nobody feeling negative feelings about you and with you still in a decent mood instead of hating the bullshit that you just went through.

    “I talk with a few other friends for awhile, internally pissed off that even froggies act like they’re better than me. But, I just deal with it.”

    lol if it’s any consolation, they still often hate me even though I’m good with girls now. David Deangelo had a funny bit where he says the only girls he can’t pickup are the fat ugly ones, because if he says ANYTHING to them they’re like “You just want to fuck me!! Too bad I have a boyfriend!!” and he’s like wtf bitch lol

    “so I’m like “oh, I was just texting my undying love for you. It’s cool.””

    Good stuff. I like that by default you drop into the undying love and sarcastic romance stuff. It seems to be something that’s funny to you, and there’s a LOT of good roleplay/teasing in that that you’ll get into down the road (breaking up with them, making up again, etc. when there was no actual relationship, they love that teasing shit when your vibe is solid).

    “Internally I melt down, so when a friend asks if I want to go play some pool across the street, I accept.”

    Good. Get the fuck outta’ there, it helps. When I started out, the city I was in had a lot of bars/pubs/clubs on one street, so I would bar-hop to different places if I felt like my vibe was going to shit. Each new environment you walk into is a new chance to “reset” your state and try again…it’s hard to pull out of a nose-dive once the negative thought loops of “everyone can tell I’m lame, fuck it’s so obvious, I’ve been standing here alone for an hour, god I look like such a loser” etc. if you don’t jolt your senses out of it.

    Now I’m in a city where it’s difficult to bar-hop (cover charges, distances, etc.) so I’ll go out to the patio or to the other end or floor of the club, etc. for a bit if I need to, but it was a lot easier to bar-hop. The bar-hopping was also why going out solo was alright, because I didn’t have to explain to anyone where I was going or say any good-byes, I could just walk out and head to the next place. And in each place I could just spend like 20 min in each bar trying to open a few sets pretending I was on my way to meet up with friends at another bar, so I didn’t have as much social pressure.

    I would actually walk into a lot of places and scan them quick to see if there were girls to sarge or a good spot for me to post up or anyone in there or if the environment seemed friendly or if the music was too loud etc. and if it wasn’t looking decent I would literally just go to the pisser and take a leak, then walk right back out the door and go to the next place lol No one pays attention, no one cares.

    “I pump myself up — the plan’s simple, just to go there and tell three girls that I love them. Ha. That’s where I was.”

    lol frustration and rage at yourself will fuel a lot of what you do as you get further into pickup. It’s all good, whatever gets you going. :)

    “Approach anxiety totally killed me, and I cruised the bar for like ten minutes like a tool doing nothing.”

    All good, happens to all of us, even years into the game. I still have nights like that. Here’s a great Tyler video on it where he shows himself being a tool full of approach anxiety and how he pushes through it:

    It’s really fucking hard to do lol I still have the occasional solo night where I’ll go home without approaching a single set and kick myself while I’m in bed thinking about all the easy sets I totally could have opened but I’m such a pussy blah blah blah. Cold-approach is effin hard. :)

    “She turns, and I’m like, ‘wow, I just fell in love with you. You believe in love at first sight — of course you do.’”

    This is solid in terms of words/construction (the “of course you do” is a good “assume attraction” bit).

    “The girl blinks, then she reaches out and grabs the ropes on my jacket (they tighten the hood), then neatly ties them.”

    lol Would you say this girl was drunk, weird, or tooling you? Do you remember what kind of vibe you got from her? I bring this up because there’s a consistent pattern forming here that I’ll explain later in this comment after a few more interactions.

    “the drunktext girl from before finds me, turning me around.”

    Indicator of Interest.

    “She’s like “hey, you’re walking around here — are you lost?”

    She’s noticed and has been paying attention to you, another ioi. Lots of fun roleplaying/teasing you can do with this “Are you stalking me?” “Have you been watching me? If you’re in love with me, you can just come out and say it you know.” etc. etc.

    “You look sort of confused, I’m concerned.””

    Shit-test. She’s giving you a chance to flirt/tease back.

    “I blink a few times, then shake my head with a smile.”

    Not horrible, but missing an opportunity to convey your personality and roleplay/tease into a fun interaction. No big deal, you were out of state at this point after walking around feeling like a tool for 10 min etc. I’ve dropped the ball a zillion times where I’m just out of it and a girl lobs me a nice slow pitch over the plate and my brain doesn’t react with anything solid.

    On the plus side, by saying nothing you’re not actively fucking it UP, so that’s good lol

    ““Plus, you’re like ‘yay high, so…’””

    Another shit-test. She’s trying to get into a teasing back-and-forth fun vibe with you so she’s lobbing another one at you hoping you’ll swing.

    “Have nothing to respond with, I just stand there and blink.”

    lol. Again this is at least better than saying/doing something retarded.

    “Then she laughs, tapping me on the shoulder, and says she’s just kidding.”

    She can’t tell if you’re offended or not because you aren’t reacting either positively or negatively, so she’s apologizing just incase because she was probably expecting you to play along and be fun.

    You could probably bang that chick in the right circumstances, but you’d have some work to do and you’d probably have to get into some good back-and-forth banter/roleplaying with her to do it. Which is probably easy for you if you’re in state feeling good, so maybe another night!

    Note the funny part of all this: You did to her what Gunfighter chick did to you when you mentioned her jacket…stared, blinked, smiled, and made her feel awkward lol Note that the reason you did it wasn’t that you think she’s creepy or ugly, it’s that you were just not expecting that situation and weren’t in the right mood to play back.

    “and a girl in that group says ‘hey, that’s a nice sweater,’ and I respond with ‘thanks, I really love you.’”

    All good. That’s an ioi and you could stay and flirt with her, but you already know that.

    “his conclusion is that he thinks sarging alone is gay and a last resort for when you don’t have a group. He’s like ‘dude, you have friends — use them. That way you have somewhere to go back to after each group of people you talk to.’”

    He’s not incorrect. As long as your friends are cool with you vanishing and shit and they don’t try to get you so shit-faced you can’t approach coherently and they don’t tell you “dude don’t talk to girls like that, you’re being creepy” etc., it’s great.

    Even when I go solo, the first thing I do is establish a “home base” by making friends with an easy set (doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like). Just a group (big or small) that I can go back to in-between sets and such.

    “I have another friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend who is all about going out and just talking to girls.”

    I like this guy lol Go out with him when you can…from the rest of your report, this is a guy that you can make good progress with. He’s not so good-looking that you’ll chalk up any of his success to “well he’s good-looking” or get shunned by girls for him. And he’s out there TO TALK TO GIRLS, which is the main thing. And it sounds like he has a good positive upbeat attitude about rejection etc.

    “Unlike a lot of the other people I know, he’s not particularly good-looking, is overweight”

    Long as he’s out-going and charismatic, that stuff won’t really matter…as you found out. :)

    “I notice something different about the way he interacts versus how I interact. Unfortunately, this interaction I can’t remember as well, but in general, it was/is hard for me to get anyone’s attention/enthusiasm. Whereas, he got into several sustained, fun interactions.”

    Good, pay attention and observe him in action. I’ve learned a lot from watching and running sets with buddies who are good with chicks and comparing what they do to what I do.

    Got some suggestions for where you’re going wrong coming up.

    “I also notice that I don’t have that many interesting things to say, beyond stupid shit like ‘that’s an interesting scarf/jacket….it’s like a [insert random observation]””

    This is a good thing to do in general…I think the problem you’re running into is that you’re waiting for the girl to contribute something to the interaction after you say that kind of thing, but you haven’t passed the Hook Point yet (where they go from “when will this guy leave?” to “I hope this guy never leaves!”) so the girls don’t want to contribute yet. Your buddy sounds like he’s passing the Hook Point with the group, thus he’s getting sustained interactoins and attention/enthusiasm.

    Essentially you’re both on skateboards kicking the ground to get moving but you stop kicking and stand on your board too soon so you lose your momentum while he gives a few more kicks and makes it to a downward hill and sails along.

    “I pick up the vibe that she’s trying to shoo me away”

    Possibly just bad timing on your part with these 3, with their phone drama going on. Chalk it up to just a blah set. Nothing to really learn from this one.

    ““Hey, quick question before I get back to this group behind me…do I look like a drug dealer?””

    Solid opener (doubt any girls watch Keys to the VIP), and you remembered the False Time Constraint.

    ““It’s a time machine.””

    lol

    ““Yeah, I actually know what’s going to happen before it happens. For example, these two, on the left and right, are going to get into a huge ass fight in a few minutes.”

    The 6 turns to look at me, “really?”

    “Yeah…you guys are going to have words. When the time comes, just know that -she- stole -it-.”

    I say, indicating the 5.”

    This is REALLY solid stuff you’re pulling out of your ass here. Great roleplaying and just self-amusing. Creating little conspiracies and all that…this is great.

    “then the 5 chimes in with. “Yeah, yeah, whatever shut the fuck up.””

    lol 5 can sense the 4 is into you and 5 thinks she’s hotter than the 4, so now it’s time to shit-test you and eff your shit up.

    “Again, internally I’m outraged that this is just how the world works. That people can just be complete assholes with impunity.”

    lol ya, get used to that shit. If it’s any consolation, as you get better and a stronger frame, people are less dick-ish to you. It still happens now and then but you start putting out the vibe of “This isn’t a guy to be rude to, he’s a cool guy I should be friendly with”.

    Also some people are just shitty people…especially chicks at the bar who know there’s ZERO reprocussions for them being an asshole.

    “But, I know I can’t just call her a stupid bitch”

    Think of it this way: Your goal in a situation like that isn’t to necessarily fuck her, or anyone in her group, or to “get even” with her (calling her a stupid bitch), it’s just to see if you can turn the set around into a positive one regardless of how retarded she is. Like a test to see which is stronger, your determination to enjoy yourself, or her determination to be a dick-head lol

    ““See, that’s the kind of hostility I’m talking about…she’s gonna beat the shit out of you.””

    This is good, this was a solid way to handle it. The 4 probably likes you for not being phased by her bitchy friend, and the 5 will probably want to shit-test you more because you’re unphased (remember before how I said girls will start with weak jabs and if you remain unphased they’ll start bringing out heavier tests)…the irony is the 5 is probably a bit attracted/curious at this point because of how you handled that. She doesn’t necessarily want to fuck your brains out, but you’re on her radar as “investigate and test this one more”.

    “the 4, bless her heart and limited options”

    lol’ed at this.

    “interesting thing to note with that 5, when she retreated to another larger group of people and I retreated to my group of people…I saw her look at me several times.”

    You’re on her radar, but you haven’t blown her away or anything. She’s just trying to figure out your deal now. I would actually guess that she’s the type that isn’t attracted to guys who react to her bullshit, so she tests guys by being a complete bitch and threatening violence etc. and if a guy reacts, she just riles him up and causes drama, but if a guy doesn’t react, she’s attracted to that. You didn’t react, but she doesn’t know enough about you to know if that’s congruent or not.

    “In my mind I’m like ‘how can someone -hate- me so fast lol?””

    You hate the ones you love. :)

    “I chat up a guy who’s also on the outer orbit of this social circle.”

    Good stuff, keep making friends and being social.

    “The 5 is standing to my left, back turned”

    This probably isn’t an accident. Girls will stand near you but face away from you, hoping you’ll open them. A girl like this, when she turned around, I would call her out like “YOU again. (to the guy) This girl is so mean to me. She threatened to kill me earlier lol” and tease her about it, cold-read that she’s probably read 50 Shades of Grey and would slap you around in bed, etc. etc. and now you’re talking about fucking.

    ““Yeah, I’m going to break his fucking nose.””

    lol This is just her testing you some more. You didn’t react to “shut the fuck up”, so now she’s escalating it to see if you’ll react to that. A girl like this will often shit-test you allllll the way to the bedroom. Usually this type is a good feisty lay, but you have to balance whether it’s worth all that work lol

    ““What? Pegasus, unicorns? Nah those things don’t exist, you’re bad at this game!””

    lol This is good. When I’m bored in a set I like to misinterpret things in fucked up ways and then make fun of them for saying what I’m misinterpreted them as saying. It’s frustrating to them in a funny way.

    “the drunk uggo lets me know she has a boyfriend — no prompting.”

    lol. Just overcompensating for her ugliness. Plus they probably know by that point that you’re looking to fuck something that night.

    Honestly, you would probably enjoy your night more by approaching hotter girls. Like the ones that you figure you wouldn’t have a shot with. At least if you’re getting shot down by hotties, it’s not so frustrating. :)

    Note that at this point your state/vibe is COMPLETELY different from that other Field Report where you were dominating everything.

    “5 is still standing there, talking to another friend of mine”

    Again probably not a fluke.

    “‘sheeeit, I’m great, I’m about to domestic violenced up in this motherfucker.’”

    lol this isn’t bad, but it IS reacting to the 5.

    “The 5 waves a hand at me and is like ‘he’s fucking drunk, whatever,’”

    She’s just fucking with you here. Probably has a history of abusive boyfriends, but goads them into abusing her because she likes the emotional rollercoaster of it all, Rhianna style.

    Could you fuck that 5? It’s possible…without being there to see what her voice tone was like and all that, it’s hard to say, but I’ve had sets where a girl is that much of a bitch to me (I actually LIKE bitchy obnoxious loud girls, personally lol) and staying solid through it passes her tests and we hook up. But again it’s a case of “is the reward worth putting up with all the punishment?” For me, that kind of attitude isn’t frustrating or annoying at all, I think it’s funny because I interpret it as flirting and just playing hard to get and testing me, so it doesn’t affect me at all for a girl to say that kind of stuff to me. But for you right now, it’s annoying as fuck, so it’s probably not worth your time/energy to bother with her.

    Something to think back on in your head is, when she was looking over at you from that other group, in-between the head-to-head sparring you guys were doing, was she glancing over at you with an interested expression, a neutral expression, or anger/hatred? If it was neutral or interested, she was probably actually attracted (or curious about whether she should be attracted)…vs an actual full angry/hate staring daggers at you which is more like she just legitimately hates you for something. Often you’ll find that even though she’s a bitch to you face-to-face, there are sub-communications going on where she’s giving away that she doesn’t ACTUALLY legitimately “hate” you.

    Anyway, enough on her lol

    “I’m kinda bummed and he’s like ‘nah, fuck that. It’s going take a long time to get good. Those sets are over.’”

    Solid attitude. Again I like this guy. Try to let yourself get sucked into his positivity and spit it back at him. When my buddies and I go out, all we talk about is how awesome we are and how we’re the shit etc. even if it’s totally retarded. “Fuck I look good tonight, look at this badass hair, it’s fucking PERFECT!” and we’ll compliment eachother and shit. It’s just good for staying in a positive mood.

    “So, he’d just point out girls and I’d go open them.”

    Good stuff, play some games together. Point out girls for eachother to open, give eachother silly shit to open girls with, bet a drink on who can get slapped first, give him $100 and have him give you $20 back for each approach, give the other guy 30 seconds to approach or he gets a punch in the arm, etc.

    “I start noticing a pattern. Most of these sets went like this: ‘Can I ask you a question, do I look like a drug dealer?’ Blah blah blah, then I make some lame-assed observation. Never generate attraction, it’s awkward, I’m awkward, shit peters out, I leave.”

    Right, I think you’re just waiting for the girls to contribute to the interaction before you’ve reached the Hook Point. I think the 90-10 rule will help you:

    “Keep in mind Juggler’s 90-10 rule. That is, you must be prepared to provide 90 percent of the conversation at the beginning of an interaction with a woman until she is warmed up. If you go in and give 50%, expecting she will give 50% – like most conversations in the non-PU world, you will be disappointed. She will give only 10%. That adds up to 60%. Not enough and the conversation will stall and collapse. So be big enough for the both of you and then taper back as she gets warmed up.”

    Here’s a super young Tyler 2hr audio thing:

    http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/realsocialdynamics.com_audio.mp3

    At 94:30 he talks about the 90-10 rule.

    At 89:30 he talks about “illusionary input”, where you’re helping the girl contribute in a really easy lobbing-a-softball way.

    Also from the Tyler Digest:

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/276760/Tyler-Durden-The-Tyler-Digest

    “Do not try to touch/kino/stoke/caress/sneezeon a girl who is locking up. She is locking up because you haven’t conveyed enough value, and you are trying toget her to be contributive to the conversation when her autopilot response isto lockup so you won’t keep talking to her. It happens to everyone from timeto time.You cannot try for rapport with a girl who you’ve not conveyed high enoughvalue to yet. If you have value going in, then you can. But otherwise you just keep plowing her with neutral rapport and illusionary input, until sheunlocks. The key here is neutral rapport with illusionary input. It is asecret PUA trick that allows you to put her on pause while you convey enoughvalue to get her to be willing to be contributive.”

    From Page 258:

    “Conversational ratios are indicative of social value. Withstructured/stacked game, we use NEUTRAL and BREAKINGrapport, in order to retain value over the girl despite that we are theones doing most of the talking (most of her talking in this case willbe done by applying ILLUSIONARY INPUT, as opposed to heractually struggling to think of something to contribute to keep theconvo going).”

    You might also find some useful stuff starting on the lower half of Page 259 where he talks about turning around girls that hate him or angry sets in general. He provides a structure breakdown for it after his example. Could be useful for ya.

    Anyway, so Illusionary Input is similar to a “Yes, Ladder” in sales, where you ask the person tiny quick questions that they contribute little quick responses to without having to think. They get used to contributing, but they don’t have to think at all. It’s a way of buying some time to convey your personality/value while still interacting (VS just telling her a story or making a stand-alone observation).

    So “That’s a cool jacket, you look like a Western gunfighter.” becomes “That’s a cool jacket. Have you ever seen those old Western movies? Like with Clint Eastwood and shit. (ya) You know when that mysterious stranger rolls into town smoking a cigar with a 6-shooter strapped to his belt? (ya) That jacket totally reminds me of that shit. (lol) You aren’t carrying a 6-shooter under it are you? (lol no) ‘Cause then I’m gonna have to make sure I stay on your good side. (lol) Let me guess, you’re the bad girl of the group that’s always starting bar fights. (lol noooo lol)”

    etc. etc. Basically you’re just stretching shit out and dropping in a bunch of easy spots for her to respond without thinking, so you can convey your personality, and pass that Hook Point where you can go from 90-10 to 60-40, and then eventually 50-50 or even 20-80 etc. depending on the attraction.

    This is why your buddy says “I just need to, after getting the feet thing down, just polish an opener, false time constraint, transition, and DHV story.” You’re basically doing an Opener, occasionally forgetting the FTC, and then you don’t transition into anything or DHV, and instead you wait for the girl to transition things for you or take the lead or respond to you in a way that helps you.

    “6: “hahhaah well tonight she is, but sometimes I wear the leather jacket y’know…””

    6 wants to fuck you.

    “The 7 is trying to wrap things up, then my friend walks in, jabbing an index finger at the 7.”

    Solid wingman here. He knows the 7′s attention is gone and he has to snap it back into place. An old-school PUA move was to snap your fingers and go “HEY. Show’s over here! (then turn to her friends) Man, is she always like this? lol”

    “Both of them turn to look at him, answering at the same time…something like ‘yesyes/oh yeah!’”

    6 wants to booooooone lol

    “and then the 6 is like ‘you guys are really funny!’ but 6 and 7 are leaving.”

    6 wants to booooone. :) Bad timing/logistics but you could probably plow for the 6s number. It wouldn’t be super solid but you might be able to pull off a 2am “hey you still out? let’s grab a drink for last call” rendezvous because she’s looking for sex.

    “My friend seems to be glancing around the room before they’ve even left.”

    lol He can probably tell the logistics were too fucked to keep going.

    “My friend is like ‘hey, watch your feet. I noticed that a lot of the time your feet were pointing at them.””

    Try not to take his advice too personal, though it doesn’t sound like you did, but incase he throws some more tips your way. It helps him out to have a buddy who’s awesome, so he’s not going to try to tool you or anything, any tips he’s offering you are to help you become awesome too so that you’re two awesome guys and girls are like “wow we want to fuck both of you” instead of “this guy is awesome but ugh I’ll have to fuck the other one” lol

    VS an AMOG who’s just trying to fuck with you and keep you in your place below him, you know? Your friend probably has good intentions and it sounds like he has a decent amount of experience so he’s going to notice little things that you don’t because you have a lot of stuff running through your head as you get a grasp on all this.

    “Now, I’ve been trying to have my feet pointing away, but maybe I’m still doing it a lot.”

    Check your leaning in and pecking too, like where you lean way in to hear them, and stand in front of them like you’re an Entertainer Man trying to keep their attention. I have a short buddy who has this problem, from the outside it looks like he’s a dancing Hobbit in front of the girls putting on a tap-dance show for them lol I think it’s harder to snuff this out when you’re short because it’s legitimately harder to hear the girls and shit, but it’s important to work on if you’re doing it. :)

    (not sure if you’re doing it, but usually facing them and pecking go hand-in-hand with most guys. It took me a loooong time to stop pecking)

    “I actually watch her go from -cold- to lukewarm the longer he talked to her.”

    You’ll be able to do this in time. Check that Tyler bit about turning an interaction around that I linked up above in the Tyler Digest for an example of it. A lot of times you can warm a chick up simply by keeping your cool and acting normal and natural and expecting her to warm up, and just sticking in there…over time she falls into your frame of “we’re going to have a pleasant conversation here” and she’ll start to warm up.

    “I’m going to try to get out there every Weds, Thurs, Friday, Sat.”

    Good stuff! Keep it up!

    “Me coming up with decent shit to say seems to be very very inconsistent.”

    That’s ’cause you’re mostly winging it. There’s no shame in making up a couple routines or practicing telling a DHV story or two. You’ll find Naturals tell the same stories over and over if you hang around them while they interact with different people. And right now you don’t have a ton of experience making shit up or have many interesting stories to tell, so it can help to have a little foot-hold planned.

    You’re doing something like:

    1) Approach
    2) Opener
    3) Cold-read
    4) …waiting for her to contribute……..
    5) Fail

    lol VS something like:

    1) Approach
    2) Opener
    3) Tease her about her answer
    4) Cold-read
    5) Transition to DHV story
    6) Qualify her based on your story topic
    7) Tease her for her answer (Push)
    8) Just kidding, I love you (Pull)
    9) Qualify her (but wait, can you–)
    10) DHV story
    11) Qualify her (at first I wasn’t sure about you, but now…)
    12) Push for #-close
    etc.

    Like, you’re just using 10% of the arsenal available to you right now, and that 10% is pretty make-shift right now. Which is totally fine, you’re new and this takes time to build up. But just so you get an idea of what a difference it makes to have some cold-reads, stories, qualfying questions, etc. up your sleeve.

    Hope some of this helps. Any questions, feel free to ask. You’re on the right track, there’s a lot to take in right now. :) You have some good natural instincts that come thru when you’re feeling in state so you’re not a hopeless case at all. Head out again this weekend and throw up another Field Report! Good luck!



Men With Options

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on January 1, 2013 at 10:06 pm
Original Link

On the OP — yeah, I’m sure every male wants to bang hundreds of chicks, but even with game, most guys simply will never have that kind of choice. So, I mean…if you have a little white lie you tell yourself to get you through the day, it seems better than just realizing — every day — that you will never get what you want, regardless of what you do.

Update:

It’s been sort of rough. I’m still in that awkward phase of trying to build an identity, and for the most part it kind of sucks. I’ve noticed a lot of little things that irritate me. For instance, most of the time, I have to initiate everything — hang outs, conversations, etc. This obviously means I’m doing something wrong, but I still have yet to figure out what that -something- is. That -something- is important because I feel like it has to a lot to do with attraction, and that’s, unfortunately, what I believe my biggest sticking point is right now.


  • YaReally
    on January 1, 2013 at 11:47 pm
    Original Link

    “It’s been sort of rough. I’m still in that awkward phase of trying to build an identity, and for the most part it kind of sucks.”

    No lie: it’s going to suck for a while lol you’re doing a massive overhaul. I can’t even count how many awkward nights, conversations, approaches, social faux pas, bad miscalibrarions, embarrassing peacocking, massive shit-testing, etc I ran into my first few years when I was in that stage. There is no way to make it less shitty, but on the plus side this is the stage where you learn to find the silver lining in things and celebrate even tiny little minor victories like just putting on pants and going out to the bar, etc…because if you don’t dig into every nook and cranny to find SOMETHING to give yourself props over, the negative experiences will overwhelm you and you’ll quit.

    This is part of why a guy has to hit rock-bottom before he can get into pickup seriously, because the thought of living his life the way he’s been living it for his teens and adulthood has to be more painful than the thought of putting on pants and going out to embarrass himself and get shit on all night, week after week lol. It’s like someone working out because their doctor said if you don’t lose weight you will die in a month. Suddenly their imaginary thyroid problem they didn’t even get diagnosed vanishes and suddenly calories in vs calories out works for them when it was just a myth before and suddenly they find 2 hours a day to workout that they didn’t have before. :)

    A couple things you can try are to disassociate yourself from your results. Look at everything as a social experiment like you’re a scientist in a lab just running experiments and noting the results. The other thing is to drill into your head that you are not your results, people rejecting you or thinking you’re weird or tooling you is based on the vibe you’re projecting or the way you’re displaying yourself and not on who you are to the core as a person because they can’t see that yet…so it’s like you’re a beat up car with an amazing engine inside and you haven’t got it rigged up yet so all everyone you pass sees is the beat up car.

    These are kind of woo-woo concepts but I’m just throwing them out there because you never know what will click for someone. A bootcamp with the right people could help but I hate recommending guys spend $ on stuff that they can work on for free. It’s hard to say how you’d like having an instructor for a few days boss you around and even then all they can do is get you a glimpse of success and from there you’ll have to do the leg-work you’re doing now or you’ll end up as a “bootcamp didn’t magically fix all my problems what a scam!!” guy haha

    For what it’s worth, I still don’t think you’re at a hopeless point at all. You just have a sticking point to narrow down and fix right now. Field Reports (even unsuccessful ones, we call those OTs (an “outing”, went out but basically did nothing or maybe one approach but are generally bummed out…or made some observations people-watching), FRs (normal Field Report, some approaches but no makeouts or anything) and FUs (fuck-up reports lol where you just fail hardcore) are usually how we figure those out because when someone’s got like 10+ Field Reports up you can often notice consisten patterns in their actions that might be triggering their results.

    If you post up Field Reports of your frustrating interactions here, I’ll try to help. I always like reading FRs, reading other people’s FRs on a place like Sedfast (google it) helped me progress a lot because you get to see where other people succeed and fail and learn from their experience on top of your own. I had a lot of “oh shit girls keep saying that to me TOO!! And this other guy gave him some advice okay ill try that!” :)

    On the plus side, one of those silver linings to look at, is that at least you’re aware that you’re doing something wrong. Being aware of it means you can eventually fix it or work around it. That doesn’t help your results, you’re still going to bomb, but at least you can start figuring out a plan of action and work through it…you couldn’t do that if you we’re so socially inept and uncalibrated that you can’t tell there’s anything wrong. :) Tyler from RSD is fucking weird, even today, but he was one of the hardest-case fucked up socially awkward newbies and he KNOWS he’s fucking weird and even 10 years in he’s still trying to learn to be normal…but the important thing is that he has the self-awareness to know that he’s still weird and fucking up and putting people off.

    So you have some self-awareness and you can read social interactions and feel the vibe of how people treat you even if you don’t know how to fix it yet. That’s something to be proud of. Baby steps. :)

    Let’s take a look at it more in-depth tho:

    “For instance, most of the time, I have to initiate everything — hang outs, conversations, etc. This obviously means I’m doing something wrong, but I still have yet to figure out what that -something- is.”

    3 Qs for the sake of narrowing it down:

    1) Would you say that this is the case with your actual friends and main social circle as well as with people you approach when you’re out?

    2) Would you say that you’re approaching cold sets (totally random people you’ve never seen or met and who don’t know you or anyone you know) or warm sets (introduced to new people via your friends or social circle etc) and is this the case with warm sets as well as cold? (it’s cool if you mainly do warm approaches, no judgement here, we’re just narrowing down what’s up to diagnose your sticking point better)

    3) Would you say the people you’re having to chase around are higher value than you right now, similar value, or lower value? Like a hot girl or the fun out-going good-looking guys in your group, versus some fatty-fat or a shy quiet friend? Again not a judgement or anything, I’m just asking a fat person what their daily diet is like, you know?

    “That -something- is important because I feel like it has to a lot to do with attraction, and that’s, unfortunately, what I believe my biggest sticking point is right now.”

    My extremely loose diagnosis now would be simply that these people don’t see you as high-value enough to want to initiate with you yet. Brad Pitt doesn’t have to call around asking for movies he can be in, you know? So usually this is just an issue of value.

    But that doesn’t help you much in practical terms, does it? lol the good news is there are fixes that can give you an advantage. Like if your social circle sees you as low value, it might be better to go out solo or make new friends because then you aren’t constantly fighting the label of “our lame little buddy we let hang with us if he puts in the effort to chase us down”. On the flip side if your buddies all think you’re awesome and it’s just new people you meet that you have to chase around, then it’s likely a disconnect between how you act with your close friends VS new people which is usually an issue of entitlement and being stifled etc and that comes with its own set of shit to diagnose and worth through (like figuring out your runny nose is just a symptom of a bigger problem like the flu and then treating the flu instead of the runny nose).

    I’ll go into more when you answer the questions in this comment so I can narrow it down some more. :)

    Hang in there! Glad you’re still trying. For what it’s worth this (January-April) is the toughest time of year to pick up because its colder out so less girls go out, as a result there’s more male competition and fighting over the few available girls, and most girls got themselves a boyfriend for the winter so they have someone to take home for Xmas and kiss on NYE and be solidly in a relationship for valentine’s day and take home for Easter etc etc. like its a few months of “you’d better have a boyfriend and not fuck it up or you’re in for lonely/awkward holidays full of relatives asking why you’re still single etc” for girls along with a bunch of cold lonely depressing winter nights not cuddled up to a boyfriend. It can be really tough to even find “single” girls right now.

    This usually starts up around October right after they slut it up for Halloween…they go “time to find a man for thanksgiving/xmas!”. There’s a window right after V-Day where a lot of relationships break up though lol and once spring hits a lot of girls become single and on the prowl again. But after the NYE “last chance to find a man before Valentine’s Day” window shuts it can be a rough few months lol

    (people still get laid during this time it’s just like comparing a small-town pub to Vegas on spring break, you know? For you just getting a handle on this, it might be rough)

    On the plus side in your case you’re still working on the basics of approaching and running normal flirty fun social interactions so its not going to prevent you from working on that. Hell I’d even tell yourself you probably won’t get laid till spring as a way to sort of not beat yourself up about not pulling girls right now. Like focus on “I’m working on my social skills in general right now, all I expect by spring is to be able to approach and flirt a bit and not feel like I’m chasing all the time”.

    The pressure to get laid is huge, esp if you go out with buddies who are social and good looking and getting laid and it just confirms all the negative thought loops you get in your head. Like your buddy will go home with a girl this month and you’ll think “fuck, SEE YaReally?? You said it’s hard but my tall buddy took a girl home so it’s all about looks just like I thought!!” :)

    You’re playing a mental chess game with yourself through this journey, stuff like affirmations, viewing it as a social laboratory, even external stuff like having a game plan of “I’m going to say such and such to X number of sets tonight”, are all tricks PUAs use to try to win that chess game against our brain…until it figures out a way to put us back in Check and we have to come up with a new strategy. :)


  • YaReally
    on January 1, 2013 at 11:49 pm
    Original Link

    Incoming long-ass reply/breakdown with some Qs for you, check back in a couple days when it passes moderation!


    • Scray
      on January 2, 2013 at 2:24 pm
      Original Link

      My last full-on field report of sorts was here: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/12/21/were-gonna-need-a-bigger-hamster/#comment-398911

      “1) Would you say that this is the case with your actual friends and main social circle as well as with people you approach when you’re out?”

      I actually think that with people I cold approach, I’m good at presenting a good front and seeming high value. But, eventually, you have to actually -be- high value. So, thinking about it more, I guess that is something different than attraction.

      “2) Would you say that you’re approaching cold sets (totally random people you’ve never seen or met and who don’t know you or anyone you know) or warm sets (introduced to new people via your friends or social circle etc) and is this the case with warm sets as well as cold? (it’s cool if you mainly do warm approaches, no judgement here, we’re just narrowing down what’s up to diagnose your sticking point better)”

      Mainly I’m doing warm approaches — I’ve done a few cold approaches, but those are hard on my psyche.

      “3) Would you say the people you’re having to chase around are higher value than you right now, similar value, or lower value? Like a hot girl or the fun out-going good-looking guys in your group, versus some fatty-fat or a shy quiet friend? Again not a judgement or anything, I’m just asking a fat person what their daily diet is like, you know?”

      Hm. The people I have to chase around are probably objectively higher value. But I dunno, I’d rather hang on to the bottom rung of the cool kids group than be King of the Losers.


      • YaReally
        on January 3, 2013 at 12:06 am
        Original Link

        “My last full-on field report of sorts was here”

        Dropped a massive analysis for ya as a Reply to that comment, so check it out in a day or so when WordPress lets it show up. Awesome stuff man, you did better than you realize lol

        “I actually think that with people I cold approach, I’m good at presenting a good front and seeming high value.”

        Ya, this is actually why I asked the question. If your actual friends see you as low-value and you’re trying to “fake it till you make it”, it might actually be better for your progress to avoid your friends who still see you as “the little harmless guy in our group we let tag along” and instead start making friends with random dudes at the bar who will have no previous reference experience of who you are or what your personality or role or label is, and will only know you as what you present yourself (the “fake it” part) and will accept you as that guy. Sort of like how a character actor might foster a situation where he plays his role 24/7 to stay in character and really get into it, VS having to “turn off” his character every day at 5pm when the crew wraps up for the night or he goes on his noon lunch break out of character ording food at McDonald’s.

        This’ll be a judgement call on your end. You don’t have to decide today or anything, but pay attention to this stuff and ask yourself “are my friends trying to put me back into their label for me or are they accepting of this new me I’m trying to become?” now and then.

        In time you’ll become high-value, but if you’re trying to lose weight it helps to avoid going to wing night with your buddies who don’t really care about your goal and just want you to be “the fun guy who we have fun with at wing night”, you know?

        “Mainly I’m doing warm approaches — I’ve done a few cold approaches, but those are hard on my psyche.”

        lol all good. Like I say, we’re just diagnosing here. Because you have the height limiting-beliefs to overcome on top of just getting good with girls, and because you actually have ACCESS to social circles that go out and parties and shit, go ahead and stick to warm approaches for a while. For me, I had moved to a new city where I didn’t know anyone, so warm approaches weren’t even possible when I started out…literally my only option was going out solo and cold approaching. I actually enjoy that, but it’s a huge challenge and rough on the psyche like you say, and I’ve got enough experience now that I know how to keep it from de-motivating me. Right now we want you transitioning into this smoothly so don’t feel like you’re not doing “real” game by doing warm sets etc. Down the road you’ll start going out with friends and have some warm sets going and just feel in a good state and naturally approach some randoms here and there. No rush. :)

        “Hm. The people I have to chase around are probably objectively higher value. But I dunno, I’d rather hang on to the bottom rung of the cool kids group than be King of the Losers.”

        Right, no, this isn’t a bad mentality or anything…girls judge you by your friends, especially at a bar where it’s like “that guy’s hot, but my friend would have to fuck his weirdo loser buddy and that’s so not going to happen” when you approach and they can just blow you off.

        But 1) if your friends hold you back and try to keep you in your bottom-rung label, then it’s a problem, and 2) a lot of the “losers” at the bar are actually decent dudes who are just having a shy night or whatever, or they have cooler friends that you get in with, etc. so it’s not like you’re befriending the guys from The Big Bang lol Pick guys who look cool (good looking, good style, etc.) but who are standing around kind of quiet/nervous…then even if the guy is kind of lame, he LOOKS cool so girls will be receptive to you two lol

        Again, this is all stuff to play by ear and watch out for. You’re in a good spot because you have social circles and parties and all that, so keep doing what you’re doing. If you were a harder case like some guys, I’d have some different advice but there’s no need to bog you down with it. :)


        • Scray
          on January 3, 2013 at 3:43 pm
          Original Link

          ‘This’ll be a judgement call on your end. You don’t have to decide today or anything, but pay attention to this stuff and ask yourself “are my friends trying to put me back into their label for me or are they accepting of this new me I’m trying to become?” now and then.’

          I have no idea how to accurately convey this…but I kind of get the feeling that a lot in the group are waiting for me to become cooler, if that makes any sense. Well…so, what happened is that a few years ago, single me and one other person — still probably my best friend in the group — pretty much put together the group through several drunken hangouts. Then, I got into a relationship, so I’ve kind of been out of it for the last two years. Now, these last four months I’ve slowly drifted back. So….thinking about it, I might just be rejoining still. Anyway, long story short, I don’t think they’d object to me being more awesome or banging bitches or acting more dominant or whatever. That said, when I do some legit awkward shit — which I’m sure is going to happen — I’m sure I’ll get called out on it, but it won’t mean anything the next day.

          Okay, so I’m going out this weekend. Whole night of sarging. Me and another friend, who also wants to improve his lot with womenz, are going to a bar, splitting up for a few hours, and doing what we can. I’ll probably leave a FR here.

          Also…
          yeah, I haven’t even talked to kinda-crush or her friend from the last FR. All right, see ya then.


          • YaReally
            on January 3, 2013 at 6:14 pm
            Original Link

            Good stuff. You’re probably not imagining the waiting for you thing, given that history and how social your friends sound. It sounds like you have a pretty supportive environment in general, so that’ll help you. Usually guys start out from either no social circles or really poisonous ones which is why I keep stressing to watch for it, but it sounds like you’ll be fine hanging with them. And you have a buddy who wants to go out and work on his game at all, that’s a huge benefit, you can encourage eachother and shit.

            Swipe some games/challenges off Keys to the VIP to keep your night fun and playful and not a serious life or death mission.

            A few PUA games are to give your friend $100 and he gives you $20 back for each approach you do. Or no drinking your next beer till you open a set…so if you pussy out and buy one without opening it’ll get warm and shitty and that’s your punishment (this game saves $ too lol). Or you have 30 seconds to approach ANYONE doesn’t matter who, or your friend punches you in the arm. Or you only get 30 steps before you have to open so if you get to 30 you’re stuck there till you open.

            It’s all just ways of keeping shit fun out there. Remember not to base your self-worth on your results, just dick around and focus on escalating and setting a dominant sexual frame

            Good luck! Massive props for going out! :D