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Reader Mailbag: AMOG Ex Machina

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YaReally
on September 29, 2014 at 1:51 pm
Original Link

Her: “What makes you different?”

Me: “My dick is two inches.”

Me again: “…from the GROUND.”

Me again: “…because I’m squatting. :(”

I’m congruent to this because my dick is only two inches big.

Also self-amusing helps. And a lack of outcome dependence. And not taking her question seriously. And purposely trying to UNimpress her and DISqualify yourself when she expects you to impress her and qualify yourself.

And if that doesn’t work then just message her “WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME??” over and over until she files the restraining order. After all, a restraining order is just a really formal long distance relationship.

…I think the caffeine has kicked in lol


  • Arbiter
    on September 29, 2014 at 2:46 pm
    Original Link

    Disqualifying yourself is not good. Joking or not, what you say then is something she will remember about you. Saying that your penis is small? That’s terrible. And disqualifying yourself is just another way of trying to qualify yourself: by trying to impress her with humor. It is better to give an answer that isn’t an answer to her question at all, whether joking or serious.


    • YaReally
      on September 29, 2014 at 3:09 pm
      Original Link

      Scray gets it.

      1) The joke is 2 inches, not 5 inches. 5 inches is believable, 2 inches isn’t. If someone asks what’s in the trunk of my car and I say “a dead squirrel I hit with my car and then picked up off the side of the road to stuff and put on my desk”, that’s not funny and is just kind of weird and fucked up because it could be true. If I say “3 dead hookers and a goat, the usual. It was a weird Saturday night”, it’s so exaggerated that it’s clearly not true.

      2) Every guy who talks to a hot girl is terrified to risk her thinking he isn’t a 10/10. The guy who has 10 girls hotter than her waiting for him at home gives no fucks and actively tries to get rid of her because it means he has more time for the other girls. This all works better on hotter girls than it does on like, 6s. …but why would you be hitting on 6s in the first place?

      Don’t take yourself too seriously, nobody else does. ;)


    • YaReally
      on September 29, 2014 at 5:23 pm
      Original Link

      @Arbiter
      You’re lashing out with such a weirdly hostile reaction to this lol Do you have a micro-peen? Is that what this is about? It’s ok man, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean. lol

      I tell girls my dick is tiny like a wet baby carrot (straight out of oldschool Tyler routines) all the time. It’s one of my favorite disqualifiers. They either respond with “lol no it isn’t!!” which means she’s into me and I can just play it straight from there, or they respond with “lol thanks for the warning” which means she’s into me but she’s feisty and enjoys a little self-depreciating wit and some back-and-forth. I just calibrate to whichever one she is.

      The percent of girls who are offended or turned off by this is very small and generally those girls don’t have the sense of humor I mesh with anyway so I’m alright with them weeding themselves out. And there’s a very direct correlation between the hotness of the girl and how much she loves the tiny wang jokes (the hotter the more she loves it).

      A girl hearing/reading the joke (I use it in texts and in person, it goes over best in person where they can see my facial expression and voice tonality) processes it as only two guys would tell a girl they have a tiny penis: guys who are socially awkward and uncalibrated and weird and it might be true, or guys who’ve had enough sex with girls at least as hot as them that they don’t care whether they believe them or not. If the next thing I say to her response is cool/fun/charming, then she knows I’m in the latter category not the former.

      I also use a deadpan delivery in person. Think Ryan Reynolds or Hank Moody.

      You don’t have to use it, it’s not a magic routine or anything, and judging by how ridiculously “I want to be Don Draper” serious you seem to be it probably wouldn’t go over well for you anyway. But I’ve verrrrry thoroughly field tested it and it gets consistently good reactions and, like others have said, sets a sexual tone to the conversation in a disarming way that doesn’t trigger her ASD or make me look desperate/needy, which is the important part.


  • kant
    on September 30, 2014 at 7:29 am
    Original Link

    I’ve tried doing the YaReally / Hank Moody style playful banter and it tends to come off as overgaming when I do it, especially over texts. I’m not sure if I just suck at it or if it’s because it comes off as incongruent, since my real life personality / vibe is the quiet and mysterious type.

    Anyway, I switched over to being more cryptic, curt and unresponsive over texts, and my results got much better. I’d recommend people try out different styles and see what yields the best results


    • YaReally
      on September 30, 2014 at 9:26 am
      Original Link

      “I’d recommend people try out different styles and see what yields the best results”

      Ya, the reason I don’t post a lot of my personal routines word-for-word is because a lot of guys don’t have the same vibe as me so they won’t necessarily be congruent for them, and it’s not the actual words I say that get the results anyway, it’s the underlying concepts behind them, so I don’t like to have people reading my stuff get distracted by the flowery swirly-twirly verbosity of my routines and dismiss them as “I could never come up with or pull off something like that in the moment” and dismiss them before they look beneath the surface at the concepts I’m executing.

      If you look at any actual routines I post and really break them down, they always have multiple PUA concepts interwoven in them and flip a bunch of switches at once. Mystery was amazing at this, if you watch some of his in-field footage you can see him overlapping concepts constantly, calibrating forward and back and dropping stuff that isn’t hitting and layering stuff that is. It’s never just one thing at a time and then moving onto the next thing in a linear path. That layering is where the Artist part of Pickup Artist comes in.

      My vibe is partly my own personality (I’m low-energy and in my 30s, I don’t high-five and spin girls in field and call them powerpuff girls) and partly just massive field experience…like I come up with wittier back and forth comments than the girl does because I’ve been in this conversation a thousand times before and I have a dozen responses for tests like “what makes you different?” and a dozen responses for her response to my response, because I’ve been out socializing a lot. A lot of the guys who think they’re “quiet mysterious James Bond” types are really just guys who don’t know what to say and would rather not risk fucking up the interaction by just riffing…they’re looking to have every word they say hit for a perfect pickup because most of our role models of what pickup looks like is the James Bond stuff we see in movies.

      I mostly post stuff like my dick thing as a counter-point to the James Bond crew that permeates the Manosphere who promote the idea that there’s no room to play around…you’re either Don Draper wearing a custom suit with a matching pocket square as you smoke a cigar and sip on scotch, or you aren’t going to get laid. I don’t like to see everyone pushing toward one type of persona because a lot of people aren’t naturally that type of person and end up wasting years of training being incongruent because they’re holding back their expressive instincts because everyone “all those pickup guys” said they had to be laconic and aloof.

      So I’m basically showing the other side of the coin. Note that I’m executing the exact same principles:

      “What makes you different from other men?”

      All 3 of these responses:

      1) “Standards.”
      2) “(no reply, just change subjects)”
      3) “I made it two messages without sending you dick pics.”

      …are executing the same principles: They’re dismissing her question instead of answering it seriously and they’re not trying to impress or qualify to her. Even if the external wording is different, the underlying principles communicate the same thing.

      The reason my style builds fast sexual chemistry is because with response number 1 she goes “ooo good answer” and thinks you’re clever but may still keep you in a dating/suitor/provider frame because she’s picturing a Don Draper bringing her out to dinner at a fancy restaraunt and saying cool one-word answers like that as he lights his cigar and the expensive wine arrives. So it’s good and it makes a badass screencap or story to tell buddies, but it’s not as optimal as it COULD be because it doesn’t push things toward a sexual tone. Standards could simply mean standards in dating or standards in life or standards in your expectations for yourself.

      Response number 2 is also acceptable, but it passes up an opportunity to demonstrate value and set a sexual tone. It’s like her asking you to show her something that you’re really good at and you tell her “no”…you can DO that, but you’d make faster headway by taking that opportunity to demonstrate value and lead things toward where you want them to go. It’s not bad, it’s just not taking advantage of a free “gimme” so it’s not optimal in terms of fast seduction.

      Response number 3 sets a sexual tone to the conversation that breaks out of a provider/date frame because it’s immediately setting the tone to talking about dick pics and casual sex and hooking up. I’d follow it up with something like “And now I’m at three messages without asking you for pics of your tits. I thought I was being a gentleman but shit maybe I’m just gay.” disqualifying myself and lead the conversation full-tilt into sexual topics. Then counter the disqualifying with showing intent with something like “I think you could make me straight. Your pics already made PART of me straight. heyoooooo” and we’re off into the land of sexual chemistry because all of this is self-amusing and not qualifying myself and leading things into a sexual tone and a more interesting conversation than she’s having with the laconic guy she met Saturday night who’s waiting 4 hours to reply to her with his one-word answers. She’ll schedule a date to go to dinner with that guy next week and he’ll probably bang her, but I’ll have her out at a shitty pub the same night I text her and take her home to fuck because our tone is more sexually charged.

      I’m not saying my style is better, whatever works for your vibe and is congruent is what will work best for you…but there’s a method to my madness, I’m not just fucking around randomly saying stupid shit and playing a numbers game hoping something hits. I’m applying a lot of game principles to my shit. I used to have to do this consciously and plan everything out and reword stuff a dozen times, and I still do proofread and reword things now and then, but a lot of this is on autopilot now just from field experience.

      I would say that if you’re an aloof type guy and DO want to use short responses like “Standards.”, try to figure out how to add a sexual tone with them. Compare:

      “What makes you different from other men?”

      1) “I have standards.”

      2) “I’m selective about who I sleep with.”

      The first one is a cool response, but the second one, while also being short and sweet, sets a sexual tone talking about sleeping with people, shows you aren’t the friend-zone type and have sexual intentions with her, implies you have high standards and are or will be qualifying her, implies you have abundance and enough sexual options to be selective, shows you’re bold and comfortable with taking the interaction sexual, and it’s still classy to fit that Don Draper mold (“who I sleep with” VS “who I fuck”).

      So the first one is good, but not as optimal as the second one in terms of fast seduction. Always be pushing things toward sexual flirting/topics and leading them forward. You don’t have to respond to every text and you should never get caught in sideways stagnant text conversations that aren’t leading things forward toward the goal of meeting up and fucking.



Reader Mailbag: AMOG Ex Machina

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 29, 2014 at 1:51 pm
Original Link

Her: “What makes you different?”

Me: “My dick is two inches.”

Me again: “…from the GROUND.”

Me again: “…because I’m squatting. :(”

I’m congruent to this because my dick is only two inches big.

Also self-amusing helps. And a lack of outcome dependence. And not taking her question seriously. And purposely trying to UNimpress her and DISqualify yourself when she expects you to impress her and qualify yourself.

And if that doesn’t work then just message her “WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME??” over and over until she files the restraining order. After all, a restraining order is just a really formal long distance relationship.

…I think the caffeine has kicked in lol


  • Arbiter
    on September 29, 2014 at 2:46 pm
    Original Link

    Disqualifying yourself is not good. Joking or not, what you say then is something she will remember about you. Saying that your penis is small? That’s terrible. And disqualifying yourself is just another way of trying to qualify yourself: by trying to impress her with humor. It is better to give an answer that isn’t an answer to her question at all, whether joking or serious.


    • YaReally
      on September 29, 2014 at 3:09 pm
      Original Link

      Scray gets it.

      1) The joke is 2 inches, not 5 inches. 5 inches is believable, 2 inches isn’t. If someone asks what’s in the trunk of my car and I say “a dead squirrel I hit with my car and then picked up off the side of the road to stuff and put on my desk”, that’s not funny and is just kind of weird and fucked up because it could be true. If I say “3 dead hookers and a goat, the usual. It was a weird Saturday night”, it’s so exaggerated that it’s clearly not true.

      2) Every guy who talks to a hot girl is terrified to risk her thinking he isn’t a 10/10. The guy who has 10 girls hotter than her waiting for him at home gives no fucks and actively tries to get rid of her because it means he has more time for the other girls. This all works better on hotter girls than it does on like, 6s. …but why would you be hitting on 6s in the first place?

      Don’t take yourself too seriously, nobody else does. ;)


    • YaReally
      on September 29, 2014 at 5:23 pm
      Original Link

      @Arbiter
      You’re lashing out with such a weirdly hostile reaction to this lol Do you have a micro-peen? Is that what this is about? It’s ok man, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean. lol

      I tell girls my dick is tiny like a wet baby carrot (straight out of oldschool Tyler routines) all the time. It’s one of my favorite disqualifiers. They either respond with “lol no it isn’t!!” which means she’s into me and I can just play it straight from there, or they respond with “lol thanks for the warning” which means she’s into me but she’s feisty and enjoys a little self-depreciating wit and some back-and-forth. I just calibrate to whichever one she is.

      The percent of girls who are offended or turned off by this is very small and generally those girls don’t have the sense of humor I mesh with anyway so I’m alright with them weeding themselves out. And there’s a very direct correlation between the hotness of the girl and how much she loves the tiny wang jokes (the hotter the more she loves it).

      A girl hearing/reading the joke (I use it in texts and in person, it goes over best in person where they can see my facial expression and voice tonality) processes it as only two guys would tell a girl they have a tiny penis: guys who are socially awkward and uncalibrated and weird and it might be true, or guys who’ve had enough sex with girls at least as hot as them that they don’t care whether they believe them or not. If the next thing I say to her response is cool/fun/charming, then she knows I’m in the latter category not the former.

      I also use a deadpan delivery in person. Think Ryan Reynolds or Hank Moody.

      You don’t have to use it, it’s not a magic routine or anything, and judging by how ridiculously “I want to be Don Draper” serious you seem to be it probably wouldn’t go over well for you anyway. But I’ve verrrrry thoroughly field tested it and it gets consistently good reactions and, like others have said, sets a sexual tone to the conversation in a disarming way that doesn’t trigger her ASD or make me look desperate/needy, which is the important part.


  • kant
    on September 30, 2014 at 7:29 am
    Original Link

    I’ve tried doing the YaReally / Hank Moody style playful banter and it tends to come off as overgaming when I do it, especially over texts. I’m not sure if I just suck at it or if it’s because it comes off as incongruent, since my real life personality / vibe is the quiet and mysterious type.

    Anyway, I switched over to being more cryptic, curt and unresponsive over texts, and my results got much better. I’d recommend people try out different styles and see what yields the best results


    • YaReally
      on September 30, 2014 at 9:26 am
      Original Link

      “I’d recommend people try out different styles and see what yields the best results”

      Ya, the reason I don’t post a lot of my personal routines word-for-word is because a lot of guys don’t have the same vibe as me so they won’t necessarily be congruent for them, and it’s not the actual words I say that get the results anyway, it’s the underlying concepts behind them, so I don’t like to have people reading my stuff get distracted by the flowery swirly-twirly verbosity of my routines and dismiss them as “I could never come up with or pull off something like that in the moment” and dismiss them before they look beneath the surface at the concepts I’m executing.

      If you look at any actual routines I post and really break them down, they always have multiple PUA concepts interwoven in them and flip a bunch of switches at once. Mystery was amazing at this, if you watch some of his in-field footage you can see him overlapping concepts constantly, calibrating forward and back and dropping stuff that isn’t hitting and layering stuff that is. It’s never just one thing at a time and then moving onto the next thing in a linear path. That layering is where the Artist part of Pickup Artist comes in.

      My vibe is partly my own personality (I’m low-energy and in my 30s, I don’t high-five and spin girls in field and call them powerpuff girls) and partly just massive field experience…like I come up with wittier back and forth comments than the girl does because I’ve been in this conversation a thousand times before and I have a dozen responses for tests like “what makes you different?” and a dozen responses for her response to my response, because I’ve been out socializing a lot. A lot of the guys who think they’re “quiet mysterious James Bond” types are really just guys who don’t know what to say and would rather not risk fucking up the interaction by just riffing…they’re looking to have every word they say hit for a perfect pickup because most of our role models of what pickup looks like is the James Bond stuff we see in movies.

      I mostly post stuff like my dick thing as a counter-point to the James Bond crew that permeates the Manosphere who promote the idea that there’s no room to play around…you’re either Don Draper wearing a custom suit with a matching pocket square as you smoke a cigar and sip on scotch, or you aren’t going to get laid. I don’t like to see everyone pushing toward one type of persona because a lot of people aren’t naturally that type of person and end up wasting years of training being incongruent because they’re holding back their expressive instincts because everyone “all those pickup guys” said they had to be laconic and aloof.

      So I’m basically showing the other side of the coin. Note that I’m executing the exact same principles:

      “What makes you different from other men?”

      All 3 of these responses:

      1) “Standards.”
      2) “(no reply, just change subjects)”
      3) “I made it two messages without sending you dick pics.”

      …are executing the same principles: They’re dismissing her question instead of answering it seriously and they’re not trying to impress or qualify to her. Even if the external wording is different, the underlying principles communicate the same thing.

      The reason my style builds fast sexual chemistry is because with response number 1 she goes “ooo good answer” and thinks you’re clever but may still keep you in a dating/suitor/provider frame because she’s picturing a Don Draper bringing her out to dinner at a fancy restaraunt and saying cool one-word answers like that as he lights his cigar and the expensive wine arrives. So it’s good and it makes a badass screencap or story to tell buddies, but it’s not as optimal as it COULD be because it doesn’t push things toward a sexual tone. Standards could simply mean standards in dating or standards in life or standards in your expectations for yourself.

      Response number 2 is also acceptable, but it passes up an opportunity to demonstrate value and set a sexual tone. It’s like her asking you to show her something that you’re really good at and you tell her “no”…you can DO that, but you’d make faster headway by taking that opportunity to demonstrate value and lead things toward where you want them to go. It’s not bad, it’s just not taking advantage of a free “gimme” so it’s not optimal in terms of fast seduction.

      Response number 3 sets a sexual tone to the conversation that breaks out of a provider/date frame because it’s immediately setting the tone to talking about dick pics and casual sex and hooking up. I’d follow it up with something like “And now I’m at three messages without asking you for pics of your tits. I thought I was being a gentleman but shit maybe I’m just gay.” disqualifying myself and lead the conversation full-tilt into sexual topics. Then counter the disqualifying with showing intent with something like “I think you could make me straight. Your pics already made PART of me straight. heyoooooo” and we’re off into the land of sexual chemistry because all of this is self-amusing and not qualifying myself and leading things into a sexual tone and a more interesting conversation than she’s having with the laconic guy she met Saturday night who’s waiting 4 hours to reply to her with his one-word answers. She’ll schedule a date to go to dinner with that guy next week and he’ll probably bang her, but I’ll have her out at a shitty pub the same night I text her and take her home to fuck because our tone is more sexually charged.

      I’m not saying my style is better, whatever works for your vibe and is congruent is what will work best for you…but there’s a method to my madness, I’m not just fucking around randomly saying stupid shit and playing a numbers game hoping something hits. I’m applying a lot of game principles to my shit. I used to have to do this consciously and plan everything out and reword stuff a dozen times, and I still do proofread and reword things now and then, but a lot of this is on autopilot now just from field experience.

      I would say that if you’re an aloof type guy and DO want to use short responses like “Standards.”, try to figure out how to add a sexual tone with them. Compare:

      “What makes you different from other men?”

      1) “I have standards.”

      2) “I’m selective about who I sleep with.”

      The first one is a cool response, but the second one, while also being short and sweet, sets a sexual tone talking about sleeping with people, shows you aren’t the friend-zone type and have sexual intentions with her, implies you have high standards and are or will be qualifying her, implies you have abundance and enough sexual options to be selective, shows you’re bold and comfortable with taking the interaction sexual, and it’s still classy to fit that Don Draper mold (“who I sleep with” VS “who I fuck”).

      So the first one is good, but not as optimal as the second one in terms of fast seduction. Always be pushing things toward sexual flirting/topics and leading them forward. You don’t have to respond to every text and you should never get caught in sideways stagnant text conversations that aren’t leading things forward toward the goal of meeting up and fucking.



The Ephemeral Few

Original Link

via Heartiste

get em young
on September 24, 2014 at 3:31 pm
Original Link

The first ten percent because they were underage super tight sweet virgins you had to teach how to suck your cock because you were their first for everything. This makes a young man inclined to see young women in an overall positive light and keep his dominant attitude.

The last ten percent because they were used up broken tramps that did every degrading thing you could imagine. This makes a matured man inclined to see 25+ year old women exactly as they are and downplay his dominant attitude for fear of reprisal.

Get em early and often as every passing year makes them less attractive, less sweet, more hostile, more materialistic and more likely to file false rape charges.


  • quorasdesignatedasshole
    on September 24, 2014 at 5:18 pm
    Original Link

    Virgins are also way less disgusting. I have been with virgins, and I have been with those who have a past, small or large.

    Every time I was with a girl with a sexual history, I just couldn’t open my heart to her completely. Even if it was just one high school boyfriend, I couldn’t. No matter how much they loved me, I kept a certain emotional distance.

    Yet, with the couple who I was the first for, for everything… I loved and fucked them so profligately and with so much passion, that those two invariably became my girls.

    The first one was fifteen when I met her. I was 18, and I was in college. She was in high school. We fell in love so deeply that when she died in 2011, I couldn’t believe it for many months. When I did believe it, I went to India for a few years. I actually just returned two days ago.

    The other one was sixteen when we met. I was much older by then… 23. She’s still with me.

    I am also currently working with a 23 year old. Just met her in January. She had one boyfriend in college, and she was a “technical” virgin when we met. She loves me with all her heart (and the BS “connected hearts” stuff) and is recreating her lifestyle to align with mine… but I still can’t open my heart to her the way I did for the other two. It gets painful in a way that women are just incapable of understanding, and most men are either too numb to it or have completely given up because of the way the modern day society is setup.

    And yes, others are just noise. Except the cute girl I made out with on Sunday, and didn’t close, or the Asian chick I fingered on the bus to Union Station yesterday. Until the next one comes along who’ll drop her panties (or get me to pull them off for her) they’ll keep popping into my head.

    But the thing with the last ones… is that they won’t continue to be the last ones for long. Unlike the young, loving, beautiful virgins you have. Or had. I hope I find a couple more of those before I turn 30.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 6:20 pm
      Original Link

      “I hope I find a couple more of those before I turn 30.”

      Maybe they’re in your purse next to your tampons.



The Ephemeral Few

Original Link

via Heartiste

get em young
on September 24, 2014 at 3:31 pm
Original Link

The first ten percent because they were underage super tight sweet virgins you had to teach how to suck your cock because you were their first for everything. This makes a young man inclined to see young women in an overall positive light and keep his dominant attitude.

The last ten percent because they were used up broken tramps that did every degrading thing you could imagine. This makes a matured man inclined to see 25+ year old women exactly as they are and downplay his dominant attitude for fear of reprisal.

Get em early and often as every passing year makes them less attractive, less sweet, more hostile, more materialistic and more likely to file false rape charges.


  • quorasdesignatedasshole
    on September 24, 2014 at 5:18 pm
    Original Link

    Virgins are also way less disgusting. I have been with virgins, and I have been with those who have a past, small or large.

    Every time I was with a girl with a sexual history, I just couldn’t open my heart to her completely. Even if it was just one high school boyfriend, I couldn’t. No matter how much they loved me, I kept a certain emotional distance.

    Yet, with the couple who I was the first for, for everything… I loved and fucked them so profligately and with so much passion, that those two invariably became my girls.

    The first one was fifteen when I met her. I was 18, and I was in college. She was in high school. We fell in love so deeply that when she died in 2011, I couldn’t believe it for many months. When I did believe it, I went to India for a few years. I actually just returned two days ago.

    The other one was sixteen when we met. I was much older by then… 23. She’s still with me.

    I am also currently working with a 23 year old. Just met her in January. She had one boyfriend in college, and she was a “technical” virgin when we met. She loves me with all her heart (and the BS “connected hearts” stuff) and is recreating her lifestyle to align with mine… but I still can’t open my heart to her the way I did for the other two. It gets painful in a way that women are just incapable of understanding, and most men are either too numb to it or have completely given up because of the way the modern day society is setup.

    And yes, others are just noise. Except the cute girl I made out with on Sunday, and didn’t close, or the Asian chick I fingered on the bus to Union Station yesterday. Until the next one comes along who’ll drop her panties (or get me to pull them off for her) they’ll keep popping into my head.

    But the thing with the last ones… is that they won’t continue to be the last ones for long. Unlike the young, loving, beautiful virgins you have. Or had. I hope I find a couple more of those before I turn 30.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 6:20 pm
      Original Link

      “I hope I find a couple more of those before I turn 30.”

      Maybe they’re in your purse next to your tampons.



The Ephemeral Few

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 24, 2014 at 5:48 pm
Original Link

The upside to this is that when women can tell that only a few girls have made that kind of impact on your life and see how fondly you remember them, they try harder to BE one of those few because they pick up on how exclusive the “VIP” spot is. Women envy the girl the alpha fondly remembers (or is currently seeing).

The unfortunate flip side once this dynamic unfolds of course is that this can trigger girls to try to make you date them VS just fucking you because they want to make more of an impact on you and figure time spent doing date-like things will help make that happen so they’ll sometimes play harder to get.

So it’s worth experimenting with telling girls about former girls just to see what happens and learn how to use it, but calibrate it to your goals and be aware that in some situations it can sabotage the lay.

For example: I’m laying the groundwork for an oLTR dynamic with one of my girls right now and she asked how many girls I’m seeing so I told her 2 (1 is too low and sounds like that girl might be serious competition like a girlfriend, but 2 is just high enough so she knows I have options without being so high that she thinks I’m unattainable for an LTR) and described one as annoying (describing behaviors that this oLTR actually does that annoy me lol) and that I’m planning to get rid of her (so I’m teaching her that I’ll cut loose girls who keep doing what she does (being too flakey)). And the other girl I describe as much more fun but actively encouraging me to date this oLTR girl, the implication being that I talk to this girl ABOUT her which sub-communicates that she’s high value enough for me to let other girls know she exists.

The end result of all that is that the girl I’m building the oLTR framework with, who’s completely against oLTRs (super jealous monogamy type chick) feels like she’s “above” these other girls and that she’s potentially one of the “emphereal few”. So instead of getting pissed at me for banging other girls, she’s slowly becoming cool with it because they’re all lower on the heirarchy than she is…from her perspective those girls don’t have a shot at being one of these few VIP girls (and thus aren’t a threat to her position with me if we enter an actual oLTR) but she also feels like she DOES have a shot at being one of the VIPs, so she instinctively wants it the same way girls want to get into the exclusive club no one can get into, or want to land the guy that no girl can land.

My point is that this dynamic can sabotage you at times but also be used as a tool at other times if you experiment with it and learn to calibrate it. Try telling a bunch of the girls you approach about how you’ve given up on relationships and tell them the story of “the one that got away” and observe their reactions. Tweak HOW you describe the one that for away, in a positive and negative light, and observe the difference in reactions and analyze why exactly those reactions change.


  • YaReally
    on September 24, 2014 at 6:03 pm
    Original Link

    (side note: I don’t actively recommend answering “how many girls are you seeing?” with an actual answer, it’s generally better to just lol the question away and keep the hamster mystery going but it can be used to lay some solid groundwork for framing an oLTR (one-sided oLTRs are my current fixation) which is why I answered it at all…also I told her the girl who’s encouraging us to be together thinks she’s sexy so I’m using this to also test the potential for banging girls with her lol just wanted to point this out cause I know proper game is to not answer these “how many girls are you seeing?” questions seriously but if you’re using the answer to progress things forward then it’s okay…the problem is a lot of guys will answer that question just because they think they have to and not because they’re actually trying to take the relationship dynamics anywhere, so they’re voluntarily giving up mystery for no benefit VS giving it up for a specific benefit)



The Ephemeral Few

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 24, 2014 at 5:48 pm
Original Link

The upside to this is that when women can tell that only a few girls have made that kind of impact on your life and see how fondly you remember them, they try harder to BE one of those few because they pick up on how exclusive the “VIP” spot is. Women envy the girl the alpha fondly remembers (or is currently seeing).

The unfortunate flip side once this dynamic unfolds of course is that this can trigger girls to try to make you date them VS just fucking you because they want to make more of an impact on you and figure time spent doing date-like things will help make that happen so they’ll sometimes play harder to get.

So it’s worth experimenting with telling girls about former girls just to see what happens and learn how to use it, but calibrate it to your goals and be aware that in some situations it can sabotage the lay.

For example: I’m laying the groundwork for an oLTR dynamic with one of my girls right now and she asked how many girls I’m seeing so I told her 2 (1 is too low and sounds like that girl might be serious competition like a girlfriend, but 2 is just high enough so she knows I have options without being so high that she thinks I’m unattainable for an LTR) and described one as annoying (describing behaviors that this oLTR actually does that annoy me lol) and that I’m planning to get rid of her (so I’m teaching her that I’ll cut loose girls who keep doing what she does (being too flakey)). And the other girl I describe as much more fun but actively encouraging me to date this oLTR girl, the implication being that I talk to this girl ABOUT her which sub-communicates that she’s high value enough for me to let other girls know she exists.

The end result of all that is that the girl I’m building the oLTR framework with, who’s completely against oLTRs (super jealous monogamy type chick) feels like she’s “above” these other girls and that she’s potentially one of the “emphereal few”. So instead of getting pissed at me for banging other girls, she’s slowly becoming cool with it because they’re all lower on the heirarchy than she is…from her perspective those girls don’t have a shot at being one of these few VIP girls (and thus aren’t a threat to her position with me if we enter an actual oLTR) but she also feels like she DOES have a shot at being one of the VIPs, so she instinctively wants it the same way girls want to get into the exclusive club no one can get into, or want to land the guy that no girl can land.

My point is that this dynamic can sabotage you at times but also be used as a tool at other times if you experiment with it and learn to calibrate it. Try telling a bunch of the girls you approach about how you’ve given up on relationships and tell them the story of “the one that got away” and observe their reactions. Tweak HOW you describe the one that for away, in a positive and negative light, and observe the difference in reactions and analyze why exactly those reactions change.


  • YaReally
    on September 24, 2014 at 6:03 pm
    Original Link

    (side note: I don’t actively recommend answering “how many girls are you seeing?” with an actual answer, it’s generally better to just lol the question away and keep the hamster mystery going but it can be used to lay some solid groundwork for framing an oLTR (one-sided oLTRs are my current fixation) which is why I answered it at all…also I told her the girl who’s encouraging us to be together thinks she’s sexy so I’m using this to also test the potential for banging girls with her lol just wanted to point this out cause I know proper game is to not answer these “how many girls are you seeing?” questions seriously but if you’re using the answer to progress things forward then it’s okay…the problem is a lot of guys will answer that question just because they think they have to and not because they’re actually trying to take the relationship dynamics anywhere, so they’re voluntarily giving up mystery for no benefit VS giving it up for a specific benefit)



Regret Rape Foiled By Text Messages

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 24, 2014 at 12:16 pm
Original Link

Should’ve given her an Egg McMuffin (metaphorically speaking).



Regret Rape Foiled By Text Messages

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 24, 2014 at 12:16 pm
Original Link

Should’ve given her an Egg McMuffin (metaphorically speaking).



The Scientific Consensus Discredits Feminism

Original Link

via Heartiste

justdoit
on September 23, 2014 at 12:23 pm
Original Link

The quoted material contains some major blunders, For example:

– Men are far more likely to be sexually promiscuous, a throwback to evolution where procreation was all-important.

First of all, women are every bit as promiscuous as men. Sex requires two persons. Men hare not having promiscuous sex with themselves.

Second, “a throwback to evolution where procreation was all-important.”. This is pure nonsense, Procreation is always all-important. It doesn’t get less important over time.


  • Amy
    on September 23, 2014 at 12:35 pm
    Original Link

    Women are not every bit as promiscuous as men. I don’t care what you’re finding on tinder, most women are not looking to have casual sex on a regular basis with a variety of different men.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:03 pm
      Original Link

      @Amy
      “Yea it is, because the low notch girls are usually in relationships”

      Ya, we all know how difficult it is to fuck women in relationships lol

      @Scray
      “Circumstance determines a woman’s “sluttiness.””

      This.

      @CH
      “impulsive people are more novelty-seeking, and consequence-damning.”

      This is why you remove the consequences for the consequence-averse (or convince them they’ve been removed).

      The “chaste” girls with low n-counts who end up banging guys like me aren’t banging me thinking “I’VE ALWAYS DREAMT ABOUT SUCKING RANDOM DICK WHERE CAN I GET MORE DICKS IN MY MOUTH!!!” and that’s not how I’m proposing things to them.

      What I’m doing is creating a situation where they feel the same comfort, chemistry, connection and trust with me that they feel with other guys after a few months of dating or years of knowing them.

      There are X number of switches that need to be flipped for a girl to put out. Most guys flip one or two each time they see the girl and most guys have shitty game or anti-game, so a girl who’s dating one of those guys seems “chaste” because they only guys she hangs out with take forever to flip those switches.

      Legit PUA is about very efficiently flipping all those switches in one or two nights. That’s why we called it “speed seduction” and the main forum was on the “fast seduction” site back in the old days. That wasn’t a bullshit title that sounded cool, it was titled that because we were developing extremely efficient game to bang “slutty” AND “chaste” girls, because they’re both the same thing.

      The only real difference is that a “chaste” girl worries more about consequences or has more to lose or feels like she needs more trust/comfort than the “slutty” girl. But proper PUA seduction involves flipping those trust/comfort switches on the “chaste” girl the first night or two that you meet her, so you can bang her.

      I can’t even count the number of people who’ve told me they feel like they’ve known me forever when they’ve only met me an hour ago…it’s because I’m very efficiently flipping the same switches that their close friends and family have slowly flipped.

      A way to think of it is that pickup isn’t about convincing a girl TO fuck you…it’s about convincing her that there’s no reason NOT to fuck you. You find out what her objections are and remove/diffuse them, and she fucks you.

      So a “slutty” girl might not worry about people thinking she’s a slut, and she might not care about comfort/rapport, but maybe she has a boyfriend and is trying to be a good girl for once. So to fuck her you don’t have to spend much (if any) time on comfort/rapport or worrying about isolating her or being subtle, but you have to convince her you “don’t count” as cheating or avoid mentioning her boyfriend at all, or tell her a comforting story about how you knew someone who was trapped in a relationship they didn’t want to bla bla.

      So you figure out her objections, remove them, and you can fuck her.

      With a “chaste” girl, she’ll still fuck you the same way, but she’s more concerned about looking like a slut, she doesn’t want people to find out, she doesn’t want to do in-public makeouts because people will judge her, she won’t do anything in front of her friends, she doesn’t feel comfortable with her body so she doesn’t want to get naked in front of a guy she feels like she barely knows, she wants trust comfort and a special connection with a guy before she can relax and have sex, etc.

      So naturally most guys won’t have the game to diffuse all that shit, because most guys’ game is complete shit, if not worse than complete shit. Those guys can handle disarming the “slutty” girl’s objections because there aren’t many so those girls rack up the n-count.

      But a guy who comes along and, in a few hours, can convince her she’s not a slut for expressing her sexuality, can isolate her and convince her no one will ever find out, can win the approval of her friends as a high-value male, can build massive comfort/rapport with her to the point where she feels like he knows her deep down soul more than her friends or family do, and can build that connection and make her feel comfortable having sex…that guy is going to fuck that girl that night, just like he fucked the “slutty” girl the night before.

      This is just fucking logic backed up by massive in-field experience from thousands of PUAs.

      The problem people like Amy make from the start is that they think we’re all just fucking the dumbest drunkest sluttiest whore-bags in the bar. They literally can’t wrap their minds around the idea that we’re banging girls just like them, because to consciously admit that that was possible would be to admit that they’re just as suseptible to it and her entire attention-whoring here is based around separating herself from “the sluts”, which is why pretty much every post of hers is basically “look how much of a unicorn I am compared to other girls, I’m the type of girl you guys approve of right?? Let me brag some more about my chastity and standards while I talk shit about other girls! Please approve of me, men!! I’m NAWALT!!”

      To accept that if someone came along and built the same comfort and connection and chemistry with her that she has with her long-term partners, in the span of a few hours, she would fuck them the same way she fucks her long-term partners and the same way that slutty bar slutterson slut-bag in the short skirt dancing up on the speaker fucks them, would destroy her special snowflake unicorn status.

      “partly this may be because chaste girls simply avoid situations where players prey, partly it may be because chaste girls are truly a tougher egg to crack.”

      These are the same thing. The “chaste” girl is a tougher egg to crack because she does things like avoid situations where players prey. But IF a player can GET to her (like a guy running daygame in a bookstore), and he runs tight game that neutralizes all her objections, he will fuck her that same night just like he fucks the “slutty” girl.

      Put it this way: If we could give every guy in the world actual solid game, all of these “chaste” girls would be fucking around…but like I say, most guys suck ass.

      @kant
      “But when you gain a lot of experience and start consistently bedding all types of girls within an hour of meeting them you start seeing the world in a very different way. And I wouldn’t consider myself advanced — maybe high intermediate at best, I know guys way better than me.

      Sometimes it feels like half the posters here don’t get laid at all, or very much tbh”

      Yup. Like I’ve said before and I’ll say again: pickup isn’t theory. It’s not about what might work or should work or what we want to work…every guy who spends enough time in the field, pushing their comfort zone and purposely challenging their limiting beliefs, and gets enough success comes to the same conclusions. That’s why Naturals all have similar belief systems and techniques, and why pickup can become more consistent than people expect.

      If we discovered that there was a subset of girls who were just magically different from other girls, and they were higher quality, and game didn’t work on them, we would admit that and figure out what works and try to crack that egg. But when you do pickup enough to realize that AWALT, and it all just comes down to circumstances…and game is about creating circumstances that the girl is comfortable fucking in.

      The desperate M/W unicorn-clutching that goes on in the Manosphere is because most of the sphere doesn’t even go out and are just crank old fucks who sit at home pissing and moaning that the world has changed and women are different and they want to hold onto the belief that if they just find the right girl they’ll cheat the system and not have to worry and she’ll just be faithful and they can finally let their guard down and step into the Disney fantasy their subconscious is still holding onto, and they don’t go out enough to show that Disney fantasy enough evidence to shatter it so they sit on the forums lecturing guys from their armchair about how the world works when they’re really only banging less than 10 new girls a year and half of them are old or butterfaces or generally damaged goods they met online.

      These discussions will continue to come up, just like looks/money discussions, until men actually go out and purposely step outside of their comfort zones and challenge their limiting beliefs and see what those of us who’ve done that see.

      “i get laid plenty thank you very much and i don’t even have to bag it or spend all my time gaming new girls.”

      lol I couldn’t even begin to guess how many girls in relationships have fucked me without wanting me to bag it either…before they go home to their guy who thinks they’re “chaste”.

      @Amy again
      “But I have impulse control.”

      You don’t have impulse control, you have a lack of someone diffusing the consequences of following those impulses.

      “I also try to avoid overly tempting situations.”

      And a guy with game will look for a girl like you in non-tempting situations and then create one around you. He’s not swinging his dick around like a helicopter from across the room shouting “I WANT TO FUCK SOME PUSSSSSAAAAAAY TONIGHT!!!” He’s opening you in an organic way in a non-pickup situation where your guard is down, or infiltrating your social circles.

      “yeah you could game me right into sex if I went to your place. So I wouldn’t go to your place.”

      And pickup is about learning how to build enough comfort/rapport with you and diffuse the consequences for you so that you would see no reason not to go to his place, or your place, or some neutral place.

      But again, your whole value in the Manosphere is based around NAWALT so you are incapable of believing that, just like the feminists etc. who think game would never work on THEM.

      And again this is why the early PUA community didn’t invite women to share their retarded opinions. Their solispism/hamsterism not only make them incapable of objectively viewing this stuff, but their attention-whoring makes them demand to be the center of attention and derail conversations demanding everyon accept NAWALT, wasting other people’s time when we have to explain, like we’ve explained a million times before, not to listen to women on the subject of pickup. It’s not only not productive, it’s actively COUNTER-productive. This is why men have made all the major advances in society and why shit falls apart when women are given a say in it. No one swallowing the Red Pill would invest in a company that’s run entirely by women, but they’ll give women’s opinion massive credibility in these discussions because 1) it plays into the Disney fantasy they WANT to believe, and 2) they don’t go out enough and don’t push their belief systems enough to understand how unconsciously full of shit women like Amy are.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:09 pm
      Original Link

      @Amy
      “*Cue YaReally’s ridiculing “Amy is a special snowflake” diatribe*”

      On it. It’s in mod right now. I’ll be happy to lay off as soon as you stop saying stupid shit. I’ll be happy to back you up when you start saying shit that aligns with reality and the reference experience of thousands of men who’ve been comparing notes for 10+ years.

      i never thought I’d see the day the comment section was overrun by Zombie Shane’s twitter blurbs and Amy’s hamstering. How long was I gone for?? It’s like I came back to the Twilight Zone.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 2:04 am
      Original Link

      @Piatti
      “Id bet BIG money ..women are not biologically every bit as promiscuous as men.. Amy’s comment is 100% correct…”

      Women run on Hypergamy. They want the highest-value male. If a woman married some small-town loser but IN that small-town that loser is the top dog compared to everyone and they never leave that small-town, she’ll be faithful to him. Because relatively-speaking, he is the highest-value male around so he’s triggering her Hypergamy. People will think “oh she’s “chaste”.”

      A girl who by some freak circumstances continuously runs into a slightly higher-value guy every month, will end up banging most of them, because each one is triggering her Hypergamy. People will think “oh she’s “slutty”.” The only difference between them is opportunity (availability/exposure to higher-value males) and circumstance (lack of consequence, a guy with enough game to flip all her switches and diffuse her objections smoothly, etc.).

      You can’t say “people express happiness by smiling and laughing. That’s a universal commonality. But there’s a magic subset of people who actually frown and stab someone when they’re happy.” That’s not logical, that’s clutching onto the Disney dream that there’s some magical unicorn type girls out there because accepting the fact that AWALT and all you can do is make sure your value stays high and there’s no way to “cheat the system” by finding a unicorn, is too depressing to guys who’ve been brought up on the Disney “wife and 2.5 kids” dream.

      Let go. Just accept reality and let go.

      When you let go of that delusion and finally fully swallow the red pill, it’s not so bad. You just have a healthy understanding that no one magically owes you anything. People, especially women who ping off their environment, will respond to the stimulus you give them…as long as you give them the right stimulus (keep working on yourself and having goals/passion/purpose and being high-value), you don’t have to worry.

      PUA is about triggering a woman’s Hypergamy, that’s why we have so much shit based around demonstrating high value, preselection, triggering her emotions to make her feel tingles, building more comfort/rapport faster and deeper than most of the people she knows in her life, etc. We go to that small-town the first couple lives in and demonstrate higher-value in front of that girl who’s never even SEEN higher-value in person and she fucks us. She’s the same girl she was back when she was “chaste” except that now we’ve purposely changed opportunity and circumstance for her. She’s simply reacting to her hypergamy.

      “the expert opinions in the comments of this blog wld be laughable if it wasnt turning a new generation of young men into self absorbed selfish mentally imprisoned caricatures of what a successful man is..(bedding all types of girls in 60 minutes or less.. ect ect)”

      There’s something primal about being able to fuck hot women. I would call bullshit on any guy who said they didn’t instinctively judge a successful guy when they first found out his wife was a disgusting troll lardbucket. Even if you’re rich with a 6-pack, if you’re settling down with a troll you wasted your potential and everyone knows it under their politically correct conditioning. There’s a reason everyone reading this found this website and it’s not because they typed “how to date and have asexual relationships with ugly women”. This shit is instinct.

      “learning the correct buttons to push to score sex from a generation of women with no understanding of values or what they derive from by guys equally value starved and clueless .. isnt meaningful to developing your potential..”

      Bla bla empty moralizing judgement. The world has changed. Adapt. Evolve and let the chips fall where they may. No matter how hard you grasp onto the past, the world isn’t going back to it, so you can spend your life in misery and depression and frustration or you can learn to accept reality and prosper in this new age.

      Hell, nothing has even changed. Women were just as susceptible to Hypergamy in the 1940s as they are now…except in the 1940s their opportunities and circumstances were different. Their opportunities were less because the world wasn’t connected via the Internet, texting, cheap travel, etc. so all they had available were a handful of men in the small town around them, and their circumstances carried far more consequence for infidelity because monogamy and marriage were so strictly enforced by society and promiscuity was so shunned and men “owned” women and women relied on their husbands to provide for them, so there were immediate and severe consequences to cheating.

      But if you could go back to the 1940s and provide more opportunity and remove all the judgement and consequence etc. from their circumstances, they would fuck around just like girls these days do.

      This is PURE LOGIC. Occam’s razor. Either human beings work the same and we all laugh when we’re happy and cry when we’re sad, or there is a magical subset of people who, despite living in the exact same cultural environment as everyone else, just somehow magically work different.

      @martin
      “Why bother even spending time in speed seduction? You might as well just move on to raping her and game her at the same time as the rape, it would be quicker that way and she wouldn’t report it.”

      Because it’s fun and we like women.

      @Ronin
      “As skilled and as generous as he is with his time and wisdom, I find @YaReally’s bit here more demoralizing than uplifting.”

      The red pill tastes terrible going down. There’s a reason most of society won’t even acknowledge it exists let alone try to digest it.

      “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” – Thoreau

      “to hide a lack of morals.”

      This is an empty moral judgement on your end and is irrelevant in the same way saying “learning to box is bad because hurting someone is wrong so if you learn how to throw a proper punch you have a lack of morals because you clearly want to hurt someone”. It’s ignoring context, intent and agency.

      “What Ya says here is almost a theory”

      Again this is not theory. This is field experience. Compiled by hundreds of thousands of PUAs over the last 10+ years comparing notes and finding commonalities and testing and re-testing the concepts and finding consistent results.

      What people who comment on what I write, who haven’t been going out and sarging regularly and purposely challenging their limiting beliefs, are doing is theorizing. And the people who haven’t been going out and sarging regularly and purposely challenging their limiting beliefs, and disagree with me are doing, is coming up with incorrect theories that are disproven by field experience…even if that makes them feel “icky” or “demoralized”.

      The truth doesn’t care if it makes you sad.

      “Just because a seasoned-player Can bang-out a “good” girl with near the same speed as a slut, doesn’t necessarily make the manipulation any more moral.”

      You are the one bringing moral judgements into this.

      Again, this is like boxing. If you take boxing lessons, the boxing itself is not moral or immoral, it is a TOOL. How you USE that boxing, by either using it to bully and rob people or by using it to defend and protect your loved ones, is where morality comes into play.

      We are teaching boxing. We try to teach you to use it only for self-defence, but you are an autonomous being free to choose what you do with that boxing knowledge. It’s not our fault if you use it to punch a retarded child to rob him of his lunch money. And it’s not the fault of the boxing tools themselves. That’s your moral decision on how to use those tools and your morals are decided by you and your culture/religion/upbringing/social influences/etc.

      Replace boxing with marketing (using your skills to sell a shitty product swindling old people out of their retirement money or using those skills to show people the wonders of your new product that will improve their lives is your moral decision), or selling alcohol (drinking a bit to loosen up and have fun or getting blackout wasted to forget about your life and abuse the people around you is your moral decision).

      “It seems a question of Can Vs. Should, and powerful weapons in the hands of the immoral.”

      With great power comes great responsibility, just like they told us in Spider-Man.

      The difference is that I understand that guys WILL do stupid “immoral” shit. There are like 3.5 billion of them on Earth, a portion of them are going to half-ass this skillset and trigger a bunch of Buyer’s Remorse in the girls they hook up.

      All I’m doing is saying “I won’t judge whether you do it or not, that’s not my place, but if you ARE going to do that, then here’s how to minimize the damage/consequences from doing that and do it properly.”

      I try to encourage guys to use these tools for good, but I’m not their babysitter, they are responsible for their “moral” choices.

      “And sending a comfort text after the Egg McMuffin doesn’t make it less of a Pump ‘n’ Dump.”

      If a guy is already pump ‘n dumping girls and is noticing that he’s hurting them, then being told that sending them a comfort text and treating them to an Egg McMuffin (I use coupons lol) is teaching them the tools to minimize the damage they’re already doing.

      “The problem with the “PUA can PU any-chick, so they’re all the same.”-meme”

      What we’re saying is that you calibrate your game to the girl and just do the least work required to get them. You don’t game them all the exact same way, you put out feelers and figure out what they need to feel comfortable and what their objections are, and handle those things in an efficient manner. Each girl will be slightly different, and some will be dramatically different, but they will ALL respond to certain core stimulus like finding confidence attractive. Pickup is about calibrating and figuring out how to convey those core universally attractive traits quickly and efficiently.

      What anti-gamers do is build up a strawman stereotype of PUAs as claiming that every girl will hear “Who do you think lies more men or women?” and “your nose wiggles when you talk” and will instantly go “FUCK ME IN THE BATHROOM NOW!!!!!” We don’t claim that at all (except in over-the-top marketing to get people’s attention and from scammers…legit PUAs will tell you the reality of what to expect).

      “Sex addiction, defining the self too much through dating+sex, running from some other psych issue,…”

      bla bla bla more empty moralizing judgement. “Your values aren’t the same as mine so you must be damaged”. No, maybe I just think your values are incorrect.

      “Even though you Can bang-out a “good” girl and pull all those levers, & overcome all that resistance, that fast,”

      That’s what we’re debating.

      “Should you?”

      Irrelevant. This is you bringing morality into a discussion about tools. This is the same as you saying “Even though you CAN throw a hook punch that knocks someone out…SHOULD you??? Why aren’t all of you guys on this boxing forum discussing the morality of knocking someone out!! What do you mean self-defense?? What’s context? I don’t understand!! You must all be violent and damaged inside!!”

      I’m not trying to be a dick to you, even though a lot of this is going to come off as harsh. You have to understand that you are having a different conversation from the one that we’re having.

      “I guess I find myself wishing there were more of a “Gentleman Operative”-type of ethos about the community, that many options were passed-on just because it was ultimately more beneficial to everyone, like “Governing Dynamics”, from A Beautiful Mind. Just putting good karma out there, or Pickup Podcast’s “Mutual Value Escalation”.”

      What you do with the tools is your choice. I encourage guys to use their game to spread good value but that doesn’t mean I’ll duck my head in the sand on more controversial topics because guys are still going to go out and DO those controversial things and I’d rather equip them with the tools to do them in the least damaging way instead of covering my ears and ignoring them.

      Don’t wait for other people to tell you what your morals and values are. Figure them out for yourself. If something feels good to you, keep doing it, if it feels bad to you, stop doing it. Women run on emotions so they need other people to keep them in check, like children, but men run on logic so we’re able to show restraint.

      I have my own set of morals/values that I don’t cross, based on my own experiences. Here are a few of my “morals”:

      – I turn virgins down even when they ASK me to fuck them, because I don’t want to be their first sexual experience. I know I won’t be with them for long and that as virgins they’re likely to build a huge attachment to their first guy, and will be more likely to feel hard abandonment when I move on, so I wish them the best and stay away from them entirely. As soon as I find out a girl is a virgin I bail on the interaction or sabotage it on purpose.

      – I don’t bang girls my buddies are into. I COULD, pretty easily most of the time, but that crosses my personal moral boundaries so I don’t even flirt with them and instead I purposely talk my buddies up and try to make them look as high-value as possible (so their girl’s Hypergamy will view them as the top dog).

      – I don’t hookup with girls I don’t legitimately like. If a girl is in my bedroom it’s because there’s something about her that I like, beyond her looks. And if I see a girl multiple times, even in a causal fuckbuddy relationship, it’s because I care about her and she knows and feels that. That’s why girls I stop seeing don’t hate me, because they know they meant something to me even if it was for a short period of time.

      – “Leave her better than you found her.” One of the oldest rules in PUA and I always try to follow it, whether other guys do or don’t. If I think I’ll her worse off, then I don’t pursue her. I’ve passed up a handful of girls I would’ve loved to bang just because I felt it would ultimately damage them or cause too many conseqeunces in their life.

      And the list goes on and on. I have morals, they just aren’t YOUR morals. And whether I would do something or not doesn’t mean that if I know someone else is doing it, I’m not going to try to teach them how to do it in the least damaging way possible.

      “And I mean these as more general thoughts than a targeted-personal-attack.”

      I do as well. Your post represents the feelings of a lot of anti-game people, so I’m just deconstructing it in general. Who you are and what you do isn’t really relevant to me in this discussion. All I care about is where your points/judgements are off-base or misrepresenting what game is.

      “If it were, we’d All be in jail…”

      If your child were starving to death and the only way to keep him alive was to steal a loaf of bread from a massive pile of loaves of bread with no one around and no negative consequences for it, you would do it, even if you wouldn’t steal a loaf of bread today or would never think you would. Opportunity and circumstance.

      You may need a more convenient opportunity than the thug-life guy who keeps getting thrown back in jail, and you may need more reassurance that there won’t be any negative consequences to feel comfortable/rationalize doing it, but if I use my tools while we interact to find out exactly what opportunity and circumstance I need to provide for you to not even just be comfortable doing it but to actively WANT to do it, you’ll do it. Because at the core you are the same as that thug-life dude, you just haven’t been in the right opportunity/circumstance (which will be different from his opportunity/circumstance).

      Ignore emotional arguments and moral judgements and boil it down to the core 1s and 0s and we’re all the same.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 12:08 pm
      Original Link

      @amy
      “Don’t we hear you say you can’t game a girl who is really into her boyfriend? Who thinks her guy is the biggest alpha in the room? Hmmmm. I thought all girls were sluts in the right circumstances. So what’s the problem there? Please, enlighten us.”

      …ffs. Let me break it down step by step for you:

      Circumstance: being hungry
      Response: eating

      “If that’s true then how come when you aren’t hungry you don’t eat???”

      Because not being hungry means the circumstance that results in eating is not being provided. If that circumstance of being hungry is provided the response of eating will follow.

      Circumstance: me demonstrating higher value than her man and removing all consequences
      Response: fucking me

      “How come when you don’t demonstrate higher value than her man and remove all consequences she doesn’t fuck you???”

      Because not being able to demonstrate higher value than her man and remove all consequences means the circumstance that results in her fucking me is not being provided. If the circumstance of me demonstrating higher value than her man and removing all consequences is provided, the response of her fucking me will follow.

      Trying to explain logic to women is the most surreal shit in the universe.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 5:00 pm
      Original Link

      Good god is this ever like beating my head against the wall. The weeds have grown thick in this place.

      You guys (and girls) are free to believe what you like. Half of my frustration is my own fault for even engaging with people who armchair theorize.

      That’s my own bad, part of why I’ve been away is that until my recent workload kicked in I’ve been sarging hard with guys who actually regularly pick up and fuck girls and completely forgot what it’s like to discuss this with normal people who actively reject the basics.

      It’s like going from discussing space flight with NASA scientists to trying to discuss it with people who are skeptical that gravity is real. I can’t believe I even wasted time trying to explain it how did I have the patience for this before lol



The Scientific Consensus Discredits Feminism

Original Link

via Heartiste

justdoit
on September 23, 2014 at 12:23 pm
Original Link

The quoted material contains some major blunders, For example:

– Men are far more likely to be sexually promiscuous, a throwback to evolution where procreation was all-important.

First of all, women are every bit as promiscuous as men. Sex requires two persons. Men hare not having promiscuous sex with themselves.

Second, “a throwback to evolution where procreation was all-important.”. This is pure nonsense, Procreation is always all-important. It doesn’t get less important over time.


  • Amy
    on September 23, 2014 at 12:35 pm
    Original Link

    Women are not every bit as promiscuous as men. I don’t care what you’re finding on tinder, most women are not looking to have casual sex on a regular basis with a variety of different men.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:03 pm
      Original Link

      @Amy
      “Yea it is, because the low notch girls are usually in relationships”

      Ya, we all know how difficult it is to fuck women in relationships lol

      @Scray
      “Circumstance determines a woman’s “sluttiness.””

      This.

      @CH
      “impulsive people are more novelty-seeking, and consequence-damning.”

      This is why you remove the consequences for the consequence-averse (or convince them they’ve been removed).

      The “chaste” girls with low n-counts who end up banging guys like me aren’t banging me thinking “I’VE ALWAYS DREAMT ABOUT SUCKING RANDOM DICK WHERE CAN I GET MORE DICKS IN MY MOUTH!!!” and that’s not how I’m proposing things to them.

      What I’m doing is creating a situation where they feel the same comfort, chemistry, connection and trust with me that they feel with other guys after a few months of dating or years of knowing them.

      There are X number of switches that need to be flipped for a girl to put out. Most guys flip one or two each time they see the girl and most guys have shitty game or anti-game, so a girl who’s dating one of those guys seems “chaste” because they only guys she hangs out with take forever to flip those switches.

      Legit PUA is about very efficiently flipping all those switches in one or two nights. That’s why we called it “speed seduction” and the main forum was on the “fast seduction” site back in the old days. That wasn’t a bullshit title that sounded cool, it was titled that because we were developing extremely efficient game to bang “slutty” AND “chaste” girls, because they’re both the same thing.

      The only real difference is that a “chaste” girl worries more about consequences or has more to lose or feels like she needs more trust/comfort than the “slutty” girl. But proper PUA seduction involves flipping those trust/comfort switches on the “chaste” girl the first night or two that you meet her, so you can bang her.

      I can’t even count the number of people who’ve told me they feel like they’ve known me forever when they’ve only met me an hour ago…it’s because I’m very efficiently flipping the same switches that their close friends and family have slowly flipped.

      A way to think of it is that pickup isn’t about convincing a girl TO fuck you…it’s about convincing her that there’s no reason NOT to fuck you. You find out what her objections are and remove/diffuse them, and she fucks you.

      So a “slutty” girl might not worry about people thinking she’s a slut, and she might not care about comfort/rapport, but maybe she has a boyfriend and is trying to be a good girl for once. So to fuck her you don’t have to spend much (if any) time on comfort/rapport or worrying about isolating her or being subtle, but you have to convince her you “don’t count” as cheating or avoid mentioning her boyfriend at all, or tell her a comforting story about how you knew someone who was trapped in a relationship they didn’t want to bla bla.

      So you figure out her objections, remove them, and you can fuck her.

      With a “chaste” girl, she’ll still fuck you the same way, but she’s more concerned about looking like a slut, she doesn’t want people to find out, she doesn’t want to do in-public makeouts because people will judge her, she won’t do anything in front of her friends, she doesn’t feel comfortable with her body so she doesn’t want to get naked in front of a guy she feels like she barely knows, she wants trust comfort and a special connection with a guy before she can relax and have sex, etc.

      So naturally most guys won’t have the game to diffuse all that shit, because most guys’ game is complete shit, if not worse than complete shit. Those guys can handle disarming the “slutty” girl’s objections because there aren’t many so those girls rack up the n-count.

      But a guy who comes along and, in a few hours, can convince her she’s not a slut for expressing her sexuality, can isolate her and convince her no one will ever find out, can win the approval of her friends as a high-value male, can build massive comfort/rapport with her to the point where she feels like he knows her deep down soul more than her friends or family do, and can build that connection and make her feel comfortable having sex…that guy is going to fuck that girl that night, just like he fucked the “slutty” girl the night before.

      This is just fucking logic backed up by massive in-field experience from thousands of PUAs.

      The problem people like Amy make from the start is that they think we’re all just fucking the dumbest drunkest sluttiest whore-bags in the bar. They literally can’t wrap their minds around the idea that we’re banging girls just like them, because to consciously admit that that was possible would be to admit that they’re just as suseptible to it and her entire attention-whoring here is based around separating herself from “the sluts”, which is why pretty much every post of hers is basically “look how much of a unicorn I am compared to other girls, I’m the type of girl you guys approve of right?? Let me brag some more about my chastity and standards while I talk shit about other girls! Please approve of me, men!! I’m NAWALT!!”

      To accept that if someone came along and built the same comfort and connection and chemistry with her that she has with her long-term partners, in the span of a few hours, she would fuck them the same way she fucks her long-term partners and the same way that slutty bar slutterson slut-bag in the short skirt dancing up on the speaker fucks them, would destroy her special snowflake unicorn status.

      “partly this may be because chaste girls simply avoid situations where players prey, partly it may be because chaste girls are truly a tougher egg to crack.”

      These are the same thing. The “chaste” girl is a tougher egg to crack because she does things like avoid situations where players prey. But IF a player can GET to her (like a guy running daygame in a bookstore), and he runs tight game that neutralizes all her objections, he will fuck her that same night just like he fucks the “slutty” girl.

      Put it this way: If we could give every guy in the world actual solid game, all of these “chaste” girls would be fucking around…but like I say, most guys suck ass.

      @kant
      “But when you gain a lot of experience and start consistently bedding all types of girls within an hour of meeting them you start seeing the world in a very different way. And I wouldn’t consider myself advanced — maybe high intermediate at best, I know guys way better than me.

      Sometimes it feels like half the posters here don’t get laid at all, or very much tbh”

      Yup. Like I’ve said before and I’ll say again: pickup isn’t theory. It’s not about what might work or should work or what we want to work…every guy who spends enough time in the field, pushing their comfort zone and purposely challenging their limiting beliefs, and gets enough success comes to the same conclusions. That’s why Naturals all have similar belief systems and techniques, and why pickup can become more consistent than people expect.

      If we discovered that there was a subset of girls who were just magically different from other girls, and they were higher quality, and game didn’t work on them, we would admit that and figure out what works and try to crack that egg. But when you do pickup enough to realize that AWALT, and it all just comes down to circumstances…and game is about creating circumstances that the girl is comfortable fucking in.

      The desperate M/W unicorn-clutching that goes on in the Manosphere is because most of the sphere doesn’t even go out and are just crank old fucks who sit at home pissing and moaning that the world has changed and women are different and they want to hold onto the belief that if they just find the right girl they’ll cheat the system and not have to worry and she’ll just be faithful and they can finally let their guard down and step into the Disney fantasy their subconscious is still holding onto, and they don’t go out enough to show that Disney fantasy enough evidence to shatter it so they sit on the forums lecturing guys from their armchair about how the world works when they’re really only banging less than 10 new girls a year and half of them are old or butterfaces or generally damaged goods they met online.

      These discussions will continue to come up, just like looks/money discussions, until men actually go out and purposely step outside of their comfort zones and challenge their limiting beliefs and see what those of us who’ve done that see.

      “i get laid plenty thank you very much and i don’t even have to bag it or spend all my time gaming new girls.”

      lol I couldn’t even begin to guess how many girls in relationships have fucked me without wanting me to bag it either…before they go home to their guy who thinks they’re “chaste”.

      @Amy again
      “But I have impulse control.”

      You don’t have impulse control, you have a lack of someone diffusing the consequences of following those impulses.

      “I also try to avoid overly tempting situations.”

      And a guy with game will look for a girl like you in non-tempting situations and then create one around you. He’s not swinging his dick around like a helicopter from across the room shouting “I WANT TO FUCK SOME PUSSSSSAAAAAAY TONIGHT!!!” He’s opening you in an organic way in a non-pickup situation where your guard is down, or infiltrating your social circles.

      “yeah you could game me right into sex if I went to your place. So I wouldn’t go to your place.”

      And pickup is about learning how to build enough comfort/rapport with you and diffuse the consequences for you so that you would see no reason not to go to his place, or your place, or some neutral place.

      But again, your whole value in the Manosphere is based around NAWALT so you are incapable of believing that, just like the feminists etc. who think game would never work on THEM.

      And again this is why the early PUA community didn’t invite women to share their retarded opinions. Their solispism/hamsterism not only make them incapable of objectively viewing this stuff, but their attention-whoring makes them demand to be the center of attention and derail conversations demanding everyon accept NAWALT, wasting other people’s time when we have to explain, like we’ve explained a million times before, not to listen to women on the subject of pickup. It’s not only not productive, it’s actively COUNTER-productive. This is why men have made all the major advances in society and why shit falls apart when women are given a say in it. No one swallowing the Red Pill would invest in a company that’s run entirely by women, but they’ll give women’s opinion massive credibility in these discussions because 1) it plays into the Disney fantasy they WANT to believe, and 2) they don’t go out enough and don’t push their belief systems enough to understand how unconsciously full of shit women like Amy are.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:09 pm
      Original Link

      @Amy
      “*Cue YaReally’s ridiculing “Amy is a special snowflake” diatribe*”

      On it. It’s in mod right now. I’ll be happy to lay off as soon as you stop saying stupid shit. I’ll be happy to back you up when you start saying shit that aligns with reality and the reference experience of thousands of men who’ve been comparing notes for 10+ years.

      i never thought I’d see the day the comment section was overrun by Zombie Shane’s twitter blurbs and Amy’s hamstering. How long was I gone for?? It’s like I came back to the Twilight Zone.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 2:04 am
      Original Link

      @Piatti
      “Id bet BIG money ..women are not biologically every bit as promiscuous as men.. Amy’s comment is 100% correct…”

      Women run on Hypergamy. They want the highest-value male. If a woman married some small-town loser but IN that small-town that loser is the top dog compared to everyone and they never leave that small-town, she’ll be faithful to him. Because relatively-speaking, he is the highest-value male around so he’s triggering her Hypergamy. People will think “oh she’s “chaste”.”

      A girl who by some freak circumstances continuously runs into a slightly higher-value guy every month, will end up banging most of them, because each one is triggering her Hypergamy. People will think “oh she’s “slutty”.” The only difference between them is opportunity (availability/exposure to higher-value males) and circumstance (lack of consequence, a guy with enough game to flip all her switches and diffuse her objections smoothly, etc.).

      You can’t say “people express happiness by smiling and laughing. That’s a universal commonality. But there’s a magic subset of people who actually frown and stab someone when they’re happy.” That’s not logical, that’s clutching onto the Disney dream that there’s some magical unicorn type girls out there because accepting the fact that AWALT and all you can do is make sure your value stays high and there’s no way to “cheat the system” by finding a unicorn, is too depressing to guys who’ve been brought up on the Disney “wife and 2.5 kids” dream.

      Let go. Just accept reality and let go.

      When you let go of that delusion and finally fully swallow the red pill, it’s not so bad. You just have a healthy understanding that no one magically owes you anything. People, especially women who ping off their environment, will respond to the stimulus you give them…as long as you give them the right stimulus (keep working on yourself and having goals/passion/purpose and being high-value), you don’t have to worry.

      PUA is about triggering a woman’s Hypergamy, that’s why we have so much shit based around demonstrating high value, preselection, triggering her emotions to make her feel tingles, building more comfort/rapport faster and deeper than most of the people she knows in her life, etc. We go to that small-town the first couple lives in and demonstrate higher-value in front of that girl who’s never even SEEN higher-value in person and she fucks us. She’s the same girl she was back when she was “chaste” except that now we’ve purposely changed opportunity and circumstance for her. She’s simply reacting to her hypergamy.

      “the expert opinions in the comments of this blog wld be laughable if it wasnt turning a new generation of young men into self absorbed selfish mentally imprisoned caricatures of what a successful man is..(bedding all types of girls in 60 minutes or less.. ect ect)”

      There’s something primal about being able to fuck hot women. I would call bullshit on any guy who said they didn’t instinctively judge a successful guy when they first found out his wife was a disgusting troll lardbucket. Even if you’re rich with a 6-pack, if you’re settling down with a troll you wasted your potential and everyone knows it under their politically correct conditioning. There’s a reason everyone reading this found this website and it’s not because they typed “how to date and have asexual relationships with ugly women”. This shit is instinct.

      “learning the correct buttons to push to score sex from a generation of women with no understanding of values or what they derive from by guys equally value starved and clueless .. isnt meaningful to developing your potential..”

      Bla bla empty moralizing judgement. The world has changed. Adapt. Evolve and let the chips fall where they may. No matter how hard you grasp onto the past, the world isn’t going back to it, so you can spend your life in misery and depression and frustration or you can learn to accept reality and prosper in this new age.

      Hell, nothing has even changed. Women were just as susceptible to Hypergamy in the 1940s as they are now…except in the 1940s their opportunities and circumstances were different. Their opportunities were less because the world wasn’t connected via the Internet, texting, cheap travel, etc. so all they had available were a handful of men in the small town around them, and their circumstances carried far more consequence for infidelity because monogamy and marriage were so strictly enforced by society and promiscuity was so shunned and men “owned” women and women relied on their husbands to provide for them, so there were immediate and severe consequences to cheating.

      But if you could go back to the 1940s and provide more opportunity and remove all the judgement and consequence etc. from their circumstances, they would fuck around just like girls these days do.

      This is PURE LOGIC. Occam’s razor. Either human beings work the same and we all laugh when we’re happy and cry when we’re sad, or there is a magical subset of people who, despite living in the exact same cultural environment as everyone else, just somehow magically work different.

      @martin
      “Why bother even spending time in speed seduction? You might as well just move on to raping her and game her at the same time as the rape, it would be quicker that way and she wouldn’t report it.”

      Because it’s fun and we like women.

      @Ronin
      “As skilled and as generous as he is with his time and wisdom, I find @YaReally’s bit here more demoralizing than uplifting.”

      The red pill tastes terrible going down. There’s a reason most of society won’t even acknowledge it exists let alone try to digest it.

      “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” – Thoreau

      “to hide a lack of morals.”

      This is an empty moral judgement on your end and is irrelevant in the same way saying “learning to box is bad because hurting someone is wrong so if you learn how to throw a proper punch you have a lack of morals because you clearly want to hurt someone”. It’s ignoring context, intent and agency.

      “What Ya says here is almost a theory”

      Again this is not theory. This is field experience. Compiled by hundreds of thousands of PUAs over the last 10+ years comparing notes and finding commonalities and testing and re-testing the concepts and finding consistent results.

      What people who comment on what I write, who haven’t been going out and sarging regularly and purposely challenging their limiting beliefs, are doing is theorizing. And the people who haven’t been going out and sarging regularly and purposely challenging their limiting beliefs, and disagree with me are doing, is coming up with incorrect theories that are disproven by field experience…even if that makes them feel “icky” or “demoralized”.

      The truth doesn’t care if it makes you sad.

      “Just because a seasoned-player Can bang-out a “good” girl with near the same speed as a slut, doesn’t necessarily make the manipulation any more moral.”

      You are the one bringing moral judgements into this.

      Again, this is like boxing. If you take boxing lessons, the boxing itself is not moral or immoral, it is a TOOL. How you USE that boxing, by either using it to bully and rob people or by using it to defend and protect your loved ones, is where morality comes into play.

      We are teaching boxing. We try to teach you to use it only for self-defence, but you are an autonomous being free to choose what you do with that boxing knowledge. It’s not our fault if you use it to punch a retarded child to rob him of his lunch money. And it’s not the fault of the boxing tools themselves. That’s your moral decision on how to use those tools and your morals are decided by you and your culture/religion/upbringing/social influences/etc.

      Replace boxing with marketing (using your skills to sell a shitty product swindling old people out of their retirement money or using those skills to show people the wonders of your new product that will improve their lives is your moral decision), or selling alcohol (drinking a bit to loosen up and have fun or getting blackout wasted to forget about your life and abuse the people around you is your moral decision).

      “It seems a question of Can Vs. Should, and powerful weapons in the hands of the immoral.”

      With great power comes great responsibility, just like they told us in Spider-Man.

      The difference is that I understand that guys WILL do stupid “immoral” shit. There are like 3.5 billion of them on Earth, a portion of them are going to half-ass this skillset and trigger a bunch of Buyer’s Remorse in the girls they hook up.

      All I’m doing is saying “I won’t judge whether you do it or not, that’s not my place, but if you ARE going to do that, then here’s how to minimize the damage/consequences from doing that and do it properly.”

      I try to encourage guys to use these tools for good, but I’m not their babysitter, they are responsible for their “moral” choices.

      “And sending a comfort text after the Egg McMuffin doesn’t make it less of a Pump ‘n’ Dump.”

      If a guy is already pump ‘n dumping girls and is noticing that he’s hurting them, then being told that sending them a comfort text and treating them to an Egg McMuffin (I use coupons lol) is teaching them the tools to minimize the damage they’re already doing.

      “The problem with the “PUA can PU any-chick, so they’re all the same.”-meme”

      What we’re saying is that you calibrate your game to the girl and just do the least work required to get them. You don’t game them all the exact same way, you put out feelers and figure out what they need to feel comfortable and what their objections are, and handle those things in an efficient manner. Each girl will be slightly different, and some will be dramatically different, but they will ALL respond to certain core stimulus like finding confidence attractive. Pickup is about calibrating and figuring out how to convey those core universally attractive traits quickly and efficiently.

      What anti-gamers do is build up a strawman stereotype of PUAs as claiming that every girl will hear “Who do you think lies more men or women?” and “your nose wiggles when you talk” and will instantly go “FUCK ME IN THE BATHROOM NOW!!!!!” We don’t claim that at all (except in over-the-top marketing to get people’s attention and from scammers…legit PUAs will tell you the reality of what to expect).

      “Sex addiction, defining the self too much through dating+sex, running from some other psych issue,…”

      bla bla bla more empty moralizing judgement. “Your values aren’t the same as mine so you must be damaged”. No, maybe I just think your values are incorrect.

      “Even though you Can bang-out a “good” girl and pull all those levers, & overcome all that resistance, that fast,”

      That’s what we’re debating.

      “Should you?”

      Irrelevant. This is you bringing morality into a discussion about tools. This is the same as you saying “Even though you CAN throw a hook punch that knocks someone out…SHOULD you??? Why aren’t all of you guys on this boxing forum discussing the morality of knocking someone out!! What do you mean self-defense?? What’s context? I don’t understand!! You must all be violent and damaged inside!!”

      I’m not trying to be a dick to you, even though a lot of this is going to come off as harsh. You have to understand that you are having a different conversation from the one that we’re having.

      “I guess I find myself wishing there were more of a “Gentleman Operative”-type of ethos about the community, that many options were passed-on just because it was ultimately more beneficial to everyone, like “Governing Dynamics”, from A Beautiful Mind. Just putting good karma out there, or Pickup Podcast’s “Mutual Value Escalation”.”

      What you do with the tools is your choice. I encourage guys to use their game to spread good value but that doesn’t mean I’ll duck my head in the sand on more controversial topics because guys are still going to go out and DO those controversial things and I’d rather equip them with the tools to do them in the least damaging way instead of covering my ears and ignoring them.

      Don’t wait for other people to tell you what your morals and values are. Figure them out for yourself. If something feels good to you, keep doing it, if it feels bad to you, stop doing it. Women run on emotions so they need other people to keep them in check, like children, but men run on logic so we’re able to show restraint.

      I have my own set of morals/values that I don’t cross, based on my own experiences. Here are a few of my “morals”:

      – I turn virgins down even when they ASK me to fuck them, because I don’t want to be their first sexual experience. I know I won’t be with them for long and that as virgins they’re likely to build a huge attachment to their first guy, and will be more likely to feel hard abandonment when I move on, so I wish them the best and stay away from them entirely. As soon as I find out a girl is a virgin I bail on the interaction or sabotage it on purpose.

      – I don’t bang girls my buddies are into. I COULD, pretty easily most of the time, but that crosses my personal moral boundaries so I don’t even flirt with them and instead I purposely talk my buddies up and try to make them look as high-value as possible (so their girl’s Hypergamy will view them as the top dog).

      – I don’t hookup with girls I don’t legitimately like. If a girl is in my bedroom it’s because there’s something about her that I like, beyond her looks. And if I see a girl multiple times, even in a causal fuckbuddy relationship, it’s because I care about her and she knows and feels that. That’s why girls I stop seeing don’t hate me, because they know they meant something to me even if it was for a short period of time.

      – “Leave her better than you found her.” One of the oldest rules in PUA and I always try to follow it, whether other guys do or don’t. If I think I’ll her worse off, then I don’t pursue her. I’ve passed up a handful of girls I would’ve loved to bang just because I felt it would ultimately damage them or cause too many conseqeunces in their life.

      And the list goes on and on. I have morals, they just aren’t YOUR morals. And whether I would do something or not doesn’t mean that if I know someone else is doing it, I’m not going to try to teach them how to do it in the least damaging way possible.

      “And I mean these as more general thoughts than a targeted-personal-attack.”

      I do as well. Your post represents the feelings of a lot of anti-game people, so I’m just deconstructing it in general. Who you are and what you do isn’t really relevant to me in this discussion. All I care about is where your points/judgements are off-base or misrepresenting what game is.

      “If it were, we’d All be in jail…”

      If your child were starving to death and the only way to keep him alive was to steal a loaf of bread from a massive pile of loaves of bread with no one around and no negative consequences for it, you would do it, even if you wouldn’t steal a loaf of bread today or would never think you would. Opportunity and circumstance.

      You may need a more convenient opportunity than the thug-life guy who keeps getting thrown back in jail, and you may need more reassurance that there won’t be any negative consequences to feel comfortable/rationalize doing it, but if I use my tools while we interact to find out exactly what opportunity and circumstance I need to provide for you to not even just be comfortable doing it but to actively WANT to do it, you’ll do it. Because at the core you are the same as that thug-life dude, you just haven’t been in the right opportunity/circumstance (which will be different from his opportunity/circumstance).

      Ignore emotional arguments and moral judgements and boil it down to the core 1s and 0s and we’re all the same.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 12:08 pm
      Original Link

      @amy
      “Don’t we hear you say you can’t game a girl who is really into her boyfriend? Who thinks her guy is the biggest alpha in the room? Hmmmm. I thought all girls were sluts in the right circumstances. So what’s the problem there? Please, enlighten us.”

      …ffs. Let me break it down step by step for you:

      Circumstance: being hungry
      Response: eating

      “If that’s true then how come when you aren’t hungry you don’t eat???”

      Because not being hungry means the circumstance that results in eating is not being provided. If that circumstance of being hungry is provided the response of eating will follow.

      Circumstance: me demonstrating higher value than her man and removing all consequences
      Response: fucking me

      “How come when you don’t demonstrate higher value than her man and remove all consequences she doesn’t fuck you???”

      Because not being able to demonstrate higher value than her man and remove all consequences means the circumstance that results in her fucking me is not being provided. If the circumstance of me demonstrating higher value than her man and removing all consequences is provided, the response of her fucking me will follow.

      Trying to explain logic to women is the most surreal shit in the universe.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 5:00 pm
      Original Link

      Good god is this ever like beating my head against the wall. The weeds have grown thick in this place.

      You guys (and girls) are free to believe what you like. Half of my frustration is my own fault for even engaging with people who armchair theorize.

      That’s my own bad, part of why I’ve been away is that until my recent workload kicked in I’ve been sarging hard with guys who actually regularly pick up and fuck girls and completely forgot what it’s like to discuss this with normal people who actively reject the basics.

      It’s like going from discussing space flight with NASA scientists to trying to discuss it with people who are skeptical that gravity is real. I can’t believe I even wasted time trying to explain it how did I have the patience for this before lol



The Scientific Consensus Discredits Feminism

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YaReally
on September 23, 2014 at 4:38 pm
Original Link

@Junior
Saw your question a while back, planning to write some shit about building social circles at 30+, I’ll tag your name at the top of it like this when I do.


  • Junior
    on September 23, 2014 at 10:53 pm
    Original Link

    super appreciated. Went over the stuff you posted in response to the 38yr old chap sometime back – ticked all the boxes & now have a plan of action that I’m tackling, but would highly value anything else you think’s relevant.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 3:27 am
      Original Link

      @Junior
      Good on you for taking action. I forgot I wrote that, most of what I’d say would just be rehashing that.

      So to answer a few specific points:

      – at 30+ your buddies are probably all dead weight. They’re either married or taken, or feel too old to be at a bar talking to hot girls, or they’ve solidified 30 years of shitty limiting beliefs and are just going to hold you back or bring your energy down. If they’re co-workers they’re going to make your work life dramatic telling stories about your bar adventures. Either learn to enjoy solo game or befriend younger dudes.

      A lot of my bar buddies have been in their mid-20s because even though I’m “the old man” compared to them, they bring the energy to want to go out a lot and I bring the game experience to spread value (introducing random girls to them, being positive and upbeat, approaching first and getting shot down in front of them to set the tone that it’s okay to talk to girls and embarrass ourselves) and make sure we all have a fun night. So I give value to them and they give value to me.

      – If I’m sticking to solo, I’ll go to the bar early and stand/sit at the bar with a beer and chat with the bartenders/waitresses and build myself some social proof, especially at younger environments where I know I’m probably going to look out of place. If the bartender seems to know me then I look like I must be some cool older buddy of his, maybe a bartender somewhere else, just in to shoot the shit, instead of an old dude on the prowl for young poon…but the only difference between those two is that I arrived at 9:30-10 when the place was empty and sat with a beer and having a chat, instead of arriving at 11 when the meat market has rolled in and that same bartender is running his ass off.

      Do that a few weeks in a row, and practice your Juggler style rapport building on them to where they feel like you really have a connection and you’re a cool guy to them, and you’ve got built-in social proof there until that guy quits. You can often use that social proof to work your way into knowing the other staff there, and next thing you know you’re walking into that “nightclub full of girls who are too young for us” that your buddies and co-workers don’t want to go to, shaking bouncer and bartender hands and having waitresses and shooter girls run up to hug you and flirt. The difference in how your night goes is pretty dramatic and it didn’t cost you anything except going a bit earlier than you normally would and making an effort to build some rapport with the staff WHO’S JOB IT IS TO BE NICE TO YOU AND WELCOME YOUR CONVERSATION. lol It’s like cheating and playing on Easy Mode.

      – To befriend guys, just introduce random girls to them. Doesn’t matter if you know the girls, doesn’t matter if you’ve chatted with the guys for a bit first or not, doesn’t matter if you know the guy’s name, doesn’t matter if he completely bombs it or the girl isn’t into him…all that guys see is “OMG I WAS STANDING HERE WITH NO CHANCE AT PUSSY AND THEN THIS GUY MADE IT SO I HAD THE MOST REMOTE TINY CHANCE OF PUSSY!!! **THIS MAN IS A GOD!!!**” and they want to be your BFF.

      A lot of times I’ll just be talking with a dude about whatever, and as I see some girls coming by I’ll interrupt him and say “Yo what’s your name again dude?” “huh? Bob…” “HEY. Girls. Come here, this is my buddy Bob. Bob this is Amanda.” Everyone’s confused for a few seconds and it probably won’t go anywhere, but to that guy I offer value and he wants more of it. And if he DOES do okay with it and I can wingman him and we run a decent set together, then he REALLY wants to hang with me again. It’s just offering value in the way that I know how to offer value.

      Again, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t go well…so don’t think “oh I have to be amazing with girls first to pull that off.” Even if I go “HEY! Girls, this is my buddy Bob.” and they sneer at me and turn their backs and say “ugh go away!” as long as I turn to Bob and joke “shit, no love tonight lol Must be lesbians!” like no fucks are given, then he lols and still loves me for trying.

      – If you’re solo, try hitting a lower energy venue like a pub/bar VS a nightclub and post up with a beer at the bar and just cheers ANYTHING that orders a drink beside you. Whether it’s a hot girl or a group of dudes or some old guy sitting on the bar stool drinking by himself, just get used to chatting up whoever’s around you. If you pick a pub/bar that you know will have random younger people partying in it (like a pub downtown on a Fri/Sat night VS a pub on the outskirts of town with just 3 old dudes in it and they’re all regulars who know eachother), you’ll have girls and guys coming up beside you to order drinks all night. At some point if the place gets busy enough the staff will ask you to stand so they can take the bar stools away but by then you should have opened a handful of sets and can re-open the receptive ones with “they took my stool away :(” and see what you can work from there.

      As for why I don’t personally want to run social circle game right now with my circumstances, there are a lot of benefits to social circles but also downsides.

      Some downsides:

      – having to rally people up to meet up and go out…this can be a lot of work depending on the people and how well they know eachother and what their schedules are like and what their favorite bars/clubs are and what time they like to start up at etc. It can be stressful trying to get a group of people together all wearing dress shoes to get into a high-end club by 9:30pm before the line starts or to avoid cover and avoid having to listen to people complain about paying cover.

      – having to maintain relationships. When you’ve partied together for a while, you can let relationships die down a bit and still get invites or invite people to stuff and have them show up. But if you start building a social circle and you’re a couple weeks in but then life shit happens and you can’t go out for a few months and you aren’t able to meet up face to face and you slack off on keeping up txt convos, those people don’t have enough invested with you to make a massive effort to keep your relationship going so you’ll lose touch with them and be starting over from scratch a few months later when you start going out again…most of them will be happy to see you again, but some of those people won’t even be going out anymore.

      – social circle drama. You let girls into the group and it is going to be an orgy of drama with people developing crushes and hooking up and stealing girls from eachother and cheating on eachother and all sorts of shit that can get old fast.

      – babysitting. Good lord. Girls are the worst for this but even guys need babysitting now and then. From diffusing drunken fights with random people at the bar, to making sure your buddy who doesn’t know how to hold his liquor gets into a cab to get home safely when he can’t even stand up and you think he might’ve been kicked out by the bouncers 20 minutes ago, to retarded drunk girls who chat up homeless dudes and talk shit picking fights and slapping/tooling guys or get so wasted they just cry in the middle of the street and all the white knights around look at you like you’re the one who made her cry and if they save her they’ll get the pussy, or drunk girls who are so stubborn and “can’t EVEN!!!” that they’ve decided to walk home through a dark alleyway in their barefeet wearing a slutty skirt too wasted to stand up straight, etc. etc.

      I like to make sure everyone gets home safe & sound, so I invest way more energy into babysitting than I probably need to. But if you hosted things, and especially if you have people crashing at your place after the bar, this can be a nightmare. At 30+ I just don’t feel like dealing with this shit lol

      – if you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle and productively sarge, it can be difficult if you build a social circle of party people. Because most guys’ plan of attack is to pre-game early and drink as much as possible to save money at the bar and get wasted enough to shut their brain off so they can be more social and drunkenly slur through a conversation with girls after arriving at the bar when it’s already busy (and the girls are wasted and the guys all have their liquid courage so it’s a lot harder to sarge than it would’ve been an hour earlier when the guys were all chickenshit and the girls were sober) because they don’t want to risk going too early and standing out.

      If you’re the type of guy who’s trying to stay sober(ish) and sharp, so you’re fully coherent in your interactions and actively approach girls, which as a 30+yo guy is something you should be working toward because our bodies go to shit after 30 and getting blitzed wasted every night out is a lot harder to recover from, then hanging around a social circle of party people can sabotage a lot of your goals.

      You may have FUN, but that lineup of jagerbombs your 25yo buddy bought everyone as soon as you walked into the bar at midnight is probably going to translate to drunkenly opening a set or two, stumbling your way through it, and then not remembering half of the interaction the next morning and regretting wasting the night and a bunch of money on drinks.

      That’s not even bringing up the late-night pre-bar/after-bar greasy food that if you’re taking care of your health you might not want to put in your body but everyone wants to order pizza or hit the 24hr afterbar restaurant and you don’t want to just order a water and sit there (not to mention having to pitch in $ for the food you didn’t even want in the first place if you all order as a group). Ya, you can just hold your frame, but that’s a lot to ask from a guy who’s just starting to go out and learning to hold his frame in the first place.

      Whereas if you had gone out sober, you might not even open more than a couple sets, but you’ll at least do it fairly sober and coherent and not waste a bunch of money and sabotage your health to do it. Opening 3 sets of hot girls will give you the same buzz/high as having a few beers.

      So then you end up in the situ where you realize “partying” isn’t that productive for learning game efficiently, but you can’t turn down drinks for fear of seeming like a downer when you’re sitting there having the predrink for an hour or two, and everyone wants to goad you into getting wasted like them so they feel better about doing it themselves (’cause if you had success while stone cold sober and they never have then they’d have to admit that they’ve “failed” in life by not being able to succeed like you, so they want to keep you down at their level crabs in a bucket style), and it’s just a lot of hassle. It’s easier to manage if you’re the one who shows up at the bar where they all are, VS hosting the predrink yourself, but even then you’re in for a lot of pushing and goading and guilt tripping that makes you feel like an outsider.

      – and if you’ve decided you don’t want to hang with them, either because you no longer find hanging with them to be productive for achieving your goals, or because say you have work stuff to focus on or general life shit to deal with, you have to turn down a dozen txts goading you trying to get you to come out which can make focusing on your work difficult. You can’t just “turn off” a social circle like a light switch, they’re going to be there and try to get you to join them even if it’s ultimately detrimental to your personal goals because they’re thinking about what THEY want which is wanting you there being fun with them.

      So ya, there are downsides to consider with social circles lol Personally I prefer very carefully selecting one or two buddies with game, whether I’ve just met them or we go way back, who have positive attitudes, who are outgoing and social, who want to approach girls and try to get laid, and who don’t get shitfaced wasted and respect when I’m setting personal goes like trying to cut back on drinking or spending money or approaching certain sets or need to leave early so I can work the next day etc.

      But that shit can be hard to find and take a while to set up…which is why I’m totally okay with being solo until I find the right guys to roll with. If you’re just starting out, quality over quantity can be fine, as long as it gets you out of the house…you can try weeding out the low quality ones later or merge or “trade up” to a different social circle once you’re out there. Like you might befriend some guys who aren’t good with girls and who party too hard at first, but they go out all the time so that gets you out of the house and when you’re out you chat up other dudes who fit what you’re looking for better (#nohomo lol) and ease up on hanging with the party guys so much and start hanging with the other dudes more, and build an optimal social circle over time.

      When you’re new, whatever gets you out of the house helps. You just want to rack up massive field experience at the start lol So if you can consistently go out solo then do that, if you need people to go out with you then find them and always be working toward a bigger goal with it.

      A lot of this can be countered by being very selective on who you let into your social circle, but that means that it’ll take a lot longer to build one up and you’ll have to figure out ways to avoid the loser buddies/girls of people you want to hang out with (ie – I want to party with you ’cause you know how to hold your liquor and you’re upbeat and positive and we wing good together, but you always bring your 400lbs annoying feminist fat chick friend with you and a dude who chugs half a bottle of tequila at the pre-game and is picking fights before we even get to the bar).

      But when you cultivate a solid social circle of just the QUALITY people, it can be pretty sweet and worth the effort.

      The biggest key to remember is to offer value AND to *EXPECT* value in return. If someone is just taking value, and you’ll find a TON of these guys, my buddy and I call them vultures, ask yourself what value they’re giving you. Like a common scenario is that buddies I’ve just met will bust into my sets because they’re too scared to open, so they’ll wait for me to open a girl and then barge in and try to take the girl’s attention or just fuck the set up because they interrupted my shit and they’re my buddy so I’m not going to get rid of them the way I would with a normal AMOG I don’t know ’cause I don’t want them butthurt at me.

      So the end result is that these guys want to hang with me constantly because I’m the ticket to chances at pussy for them, and on top of that I’m always upbeat and positive and bring a good vibe and make sure everyone has fun and meets girls, so they’re getting a TON of value from me…but none of them makes an effort to wing me, or they actively fuck my sets up, or they have negative mindsets that bring me down when we’re out, or they get too drunk and I have to babysit, etc., and there’s a point where I have to say “Okay, they get a TON of value from me…but what value do I realistically get from THEM?”

      If the answer to that is “really, not that much, if any…in fact sometimes our relationship is just them actively TAKING value from me” then it’s time to cut them loose.

      A big part of the beta-izing culture we’re in is that we’re brought up to be people-pleasers in society today and we’re shamed and taught that we’re being selfish if we DARE expect anything from anyone. We’re raised by social conditioning and the general “for the greater good” and “a real man suffers in silence while taking care of others” shit to feel BAD expecting other people to offer us value in exchange for the value we give. So we do stupid shit like stay in relationships with girls who don’t bring anything to the table but their pussy, or we stay buddies with guys who don’t give a shit about our goals or keep us from achieving them, etc.

      It’s okay to be selfish and it’s okay to have standards that you expect other people to live up to, and it’s okay to cut people out of your life who don’t live up to your expectations. That’s FINE. Your goals and your wants are JUST as valid and important as theirs and you are the ONLY one who cares about your goals. Everyone else is concerned about what THEY want and what makes THEM happy and THEIR goals. It’s okay to be the same way. That’s how you achieve those goals.

      Also I don’t throw parties myself (though I have in the past) because I just like being the guy who shows up to them instead…much less hassle on my end. And I don’t want my shit broken or drinks spilled all over etc. But that said, I did very specifically buy a comfortable futon for people to crash on and I have glassware ice a bit of alcohol etc. and I keep my apartment clean, because I live in the middle of a major bar district so I’m able to offer the value of a warm comfortable place to pull girls to or to crash to save cab fare etc. when I’m hanging with the right people. You don’t have to throw a big Project X party to offer value…often just saving them $15 cab fare by letting them crash on your couch or having a bit of booze for if you pull girls back to your place etc. is offering plenty of value.

      Good luck. Keep at it. I’m almost mid-30s myself, plenty of us who grew up in the old community are in our 30s now, so you’re not out there alone. It’s become very socially acceptable for people to still be out at the bars at 30+, especially guys because we go up in value over time, and a lot of the young guys now are all beta-ized manginas so that’s caused a lot of younger chicks to gravitate toward older men like us.

      Remember that you’re the only one who cares if you achieve this goal. No one else does, even your own biology doesn’t care…if you’re alive and jack off to porn, your brain is like “cool mission accomplished, this dude lived long enough to blow a load”. Your brain doesn’t care if you’re married to some fat chick who doesn’t put out and hate your job and you blow your paycheque on hookers trying to feel human contact that your wife doesn’t give you…and your brain doesn’t care if you have a harem of hotties and live like Hugh Hefner.

      You are the only one who cares about your goals, understands your motivations and why they’re important to you, and you’re the only one who can take right action to ACHIEVE those goals. So mad respect just for taking the first steps toward taking control of your life.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 4:41 pm
      Original Link

      Following what Sentient just wrote about staff stuff, one thing I forget that a lot of “normal people” don’t know is that often a lot of bars/clubs/etc are owned by the same handful of people. So the owner of the kiddie nightclub also owns the 30+ crowd pub and the cougar bar to maximize the customers bringing in money. And bartenders and bouncers will often float between different venues often working at multiple venues at once or ending employment at one and starting at another etc. so that effort you invest can pay off unexpectedly.

      A new venue opened where my buddies and I knew like half the staff from other venues and it only took a couple nights there to know the other half of the staff so we dominated the newest hottest venue from day 1 skipping the line past hot girls and shaking bartender hands (and even the busboys who collect glasses etc) while everyone else was scared to be there, just because we were social with staff over the years. Waitresses float around too but I’ve found that they have so many options for making money that often they’ll try non night scene venues for a bit or change their line of work entirely. There isn’t much else a 300lbs dude who’s been dropping dumbasses on the ground for 5 years can do if he wants to work somewhere else so especially don’t be an annoyance to bouncers lol



The Scientific Consensus Discredits Feminism

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YaReally
on September 23, 2014 at 4:38 pm
Original Link

@Junior
Saw your question a while back, planning to write some shit about building social circles at 30+, I’ll tag your name at the top of it like this when I do.


  • Junior
    on September 23, 2014 at 10:53 pm
    Original Link

    super appreciated. Went over the stuff you posted in response to the 38yr old chap sometime back – ticked all the boxes & now have a plan of action that I’m tackling, but would highly value anything else you think’s relevant.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 3:27 am
      Original Link

      @Junior
      Good on you for taking action. I forgot I wrote that, most of what I’d say would just be rehashing that.

      So to answer a few specific points:

      – at 30+ your buddies are probably all dead weight. They’re either married or taken, or feel too old to be at a bar talking to hot girls, or they’ve solidified 30 years of shitty limiting beliefs and are just going to hold you back or bring your energy down. If they’re co-workers they’re going to make your work life dramatic telling stories about your bar adventures. Either learn to enjoy solo game or befriend younger dudes.

      A lot of my bar buddies have been in their mid-20s because even though I’m “the old man” compared to them, they bring the energy to want to go out a lot and I bring the game experience to spread value (introducing random girls to them, being positive and upbeat, approaching first and getting shot down in front of them to set the tone that it’s okay to talk to girls and embarrass ourselves) and make sure we all have a fun night. So I give value to them and they give value to me.

      – If I’m sticking to solo, I’ll go to the bar early and stand/sit at the bar with a beer and chat with the bartenders/waitresses and build myself some social proof, especially at younger environments where I know I’m probably going to look out of place. If the bartender seems to know me then I look like I must be some cool older buddy of his, maybe a bartender somewhere else, just in to shoot the shit, instead of an old dude on the prowl for young poon…but the only difference between those two is that I arrived at 9:30-10 when the place was empty and sat with a beer and having a chat, instead of arriving at 11 when the meat market has rolled in and that same bartender is running his ass off.

      Do that a few weeks in a row, and practice your Juggler style rapport building on them to where they feel like you really have a connection and you’re a cool guy to them, and you’ve got built-in social proof there until that guy quits. You can often use that social proof to work your way into knowing the other staff there, and next thing you know you’re walking into that “nightclub full of girls who are too young for us” that your buddies and co-workers don’t want to go to, shaking bouncer and bartender hands and having waitresses and shooter girls run up to hug you and flirt. The difference in how your night goes is pretty dramatic and it didn’t cost you anything except going a bit earlier than you normally would and making an effort to build some rapport with the staff WHO’S JOB IT IS TO BE NICE TO YOU AND WELCOME YOUR CONVERSATION. lol It’s like cheating and playing on Easy Mode.

      – To befriend guys, just introduce random girls to them. Doesn’t matter if you know the girls, doesn’t matter if you’ve chatted with the guys for a bit first or not, doesn’t matter if you know the guy’s name, doesn’t matter if he completely bombs it or the girl isn’t into him…all that guys see is “OMG I WAS STANDING HERE WITH NO CHANCE AT PUSSY AND THEN THIS GUY MADE IT SO I HAD THE MOST REMOTE TINY CHANCE OF PUSSY!!! **THIS MAN IS A GOD!!!**” and they want to be your BFF.

      A lot of times I’ll just be talking with a dude about whatever, and as I see some girls coming by I’ll interrupt him and say “Yo what’s your name again dude?” “huh? Bob…” “HEY. Girls. Come here, this is my buddy Bob. Bob this is Amanda.” Everyone’s confused for a few seconds and it probably won’t go anywhere, but to that guy I offer value and he wants more of it. And if he DOES do okay with it and I can wingman him and we run a decent set together, then he REALLY wants to hang with me again. It’s just offering value in the way that I know how to offer value.

      Again, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t go well…so don’t think “oh I have to be amazing with girls first to pull that off.” Even if I go “HEY! Girls, this is my buddy Bob.” and they sneer at me and turn their backs and say “ugh go away!” as long as I turn to Bob and joke “shit, no love tonight lol Must be lesbians!” like no fucks are given, then he lols and still loves me for trying.

      – If you’re solo, try hitting a lower energy venue like a pub/bar VS a nightclub and post up with a beer at the bar and just cheers ANYTHING that orders a drink beside you. Whether it’s a hot girl or a group of dudes or some old guy sitting on the bar stool drinking by himself, just get used to chatting up whoever’s around you. If you pick a pub/bar that you know will have random younger people partying in it (like a pub downtown on a Fri/Sat night VS a pub on the outskirts of town with just 3 old dudes in it and they’re all regulars who know eachother), you’ll have girls and guys coming up beside you to order drinks all night. At some point if the place gets busy enough the staff will ask you to stand so they can take the bar stools away but by then you should have opened a handful of sets and can re-open the receptive ones with “they took my stool away :(” and see what you can work from there.

      As for why I don’t personally want to run social circle game right now with my circumstances, there are a lot of benefits to social circles but also downsides.

      Some downsides:

      – having to rally people up to meet up and go out…this can be a lot of work depending on the people and how well they know eachother and what their schedules are like and what their favorite bars/clubs are and what time they like to start up at etc. It can be stressful trying to get a group of people together all wearing dress shoes to get into a high-end club by 9:30pm before the line starts or to avoid cover and avoid having to listen to people complain about paying cover.

      – having to maintain relationships. When you’ve partied together for a while, you can let relationships die down a bit and still get invites or invite people to stuff and have them show up. But if you start building a social circle and you’re a couple weeks in but then life shit happens and you can’t go out for a few months and you aren’t able to meet up face to face and you slack off on keeping up txt convos, those people don’t have enough invested with you to make a massive effort to keep your relationship going so you’ll lose touch with them and be starting over from scratch a few months later when you start going out again…most of them will be happy to see you again, but some of those people won’t even be going out anymore.

      – social circle drama. You let girls into the group and it is going to be an orgy of drama with people developing crushes and hooking up and stealing girls from eachother and cheating on eachother and all sorts of shit that can get old fast.

      – babysitting. Good lord. Girls are the worst for this but even guys need babysitting now and then. From diffusing drunken fights with random people at the bar, to making sure your buddy who doesn’t know how to hold his liquor gets into a cab to get home safely when he can’t even stand up and you think he might’ve been kicked out by the bouncers 20 minutes ago, to retarded drunk girls who chat up homeless dudes and talk shit picking fights and slapping/tooling guys or get so wasted they just cry in the middle of the street and all the white knights around look at you like you’re the one who made her cry and if they save her they’ll get the pussy, or drunk girls who are so stubborn and “can’t EVEN!!!” that they’ve decided to walk home through a dark alleyway in their barefeet wearing a slutty skirt too wasted to stand up straight, etc. etc.

      I like to make sure everyone gets home safe & sound, so I invest way more energy into babysitting than I probably need to. But if you hosted things, and especially if you have people crashing at your place after the bar, this can be a nightmare. At 30+ I just don’t feel like dealing with this shit lol

      – if you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle and productively sarge, it can be difficult if you build a social circle of party people. Because most guys’ plan of attack is to pre-game early and drink as much as possible to save money at the bar and get wasted enough to shut their brain off so they can be more social and drunkenly slur through a conversation with girls after arriving at the bar when it’s already busy (and the girls are wasted and the guys all have their liquid courage so it’s a lot harder to sarge than it would’ve been an hour earlier when the guys were all chickenshit and the girls were sober) because they don’t want to risk going too early and standing out.

      If you’re the type of guy who’s trying to stay sober(ish) and sharp, so you’re fully coherent in your interactions and actively approach girls, which as a 30+yo guy is something you should be working toward because our bodies go to shit after 30 and getting blitzed wasted every night out is a lot harder to recover from, then hanging around a social circle of party people can sabotage a lot of your goals.

      You may have FUN, but that lineup of jagerbombs your 25yo buddy bought everyone as soon as you walked into the bar at midnight is probably going to translate to drunkenly opening a set or two, stumbling your way through it, and then not remembering half of the interaction the next morning and regretting wasting the night and a bunch of money on drinks.

      That’s not even bringing up the late-night pre-bar/after-bar greasy food that if you’re taking care of your health you might not want to put in your body but everyone wants to order pizza or hit the 24hr afterbar restaurant and you don’t want to just order a water and sit there (not to mention having to pitch in $ for the food you didn’t even want in the first place if you all order as a group). Ya, you can just hold your frame, but that’s a lot to ask from a guy who’s just starting to go out and learning to hold his frame in the first place.

      Whereas if you had gone out sober, you might not even open more than a couple sets, but you’ll at least do it fairly sober and coherent and not waste a bunch of money and sabotage your health to do it. Opening 3 sets of hot girls will give you the same buzz/high as having a few beers.

      So then you end up in the situ where you realize “partying” isn’t that productive for learning game efficiently, but you can’t turn down drinks for fear of seeming like a downer when you’re sitting there having the predrink for an hour or two, and everyone wants to goad you into getting wasted like them so they feel better about doing it themselves (’cause if you had success while stone cold sober and they never have then they’d have to admit that they’ve “failed” in life by not being able to succeed like you, so they want to keep you down at their level crabs in a bucket style), and it’s just a lot of hassle. It’s easier to manage if you’re the one who shows up at the bar where they all are, VS hosting the predrink yourself, but even then you’re in for a lot of pushing and goading and guilt tripping that makes you feel like an outsider.

      – and if you’ve decided you don’t want to hang with them, either because you no longer find hanging with them to be productive for achieving your goals, or because say you have work stuff to focus on or general life shit to deal with, you have to turn down a dozen txts goading you trying to get you to come out which can make focusing on your work difficult. You can’t just “turn off” a social circle like a light switch, they’re going to be there and try to get you to join them even if it’s ultimately detrimental to your personal goals because they’re thinking about what THEY want which is wanting you there being fun with them.

      So ya, there are downsides to consider with social circles lol Personally I prefer very carefully selecting one or two buddies with game, whether I’ve just met them or we go way back, who have positive attitudes, who are outgoing and social, who want to approach girls and try to get laid, and who don’t get shitfaced wasted and respect when I’m setting personal goes like trying to cut back on drinking or spending money or approaching certain sets or need to leave early so I can work the next day etc.

      But that shit can be hard to find and take a while to set up…which is why I’m totally okay with being solo until I find the right guys to roll with. If you’re just starting out, quality over quantity can be fine, as long as it gets you out of the house…you can try weeding out the low quality ones later or merge or “trade up” to a different social circle once you’re out there. Like you might befriend some guys who aren’t good with girls and who party too hard at first, but they go out all the time so that gets you out of the house and when you’re out you chat up other dudes who fit what you’re looking for better (#nohomo lol) and ease up on hanging with the party guys so much and start hanging with the other dudes more, and build an optimal social circle over time.

      When you’re new, whatever gets you out of the house helps. You just want to rack up massive field experience at the start lol So if you can consistently go out solo then do that, if you need people to go out with you then find them and always be working toward a bigger goal with it.

      A lot of this can be countered by being very selective on who you let into your social circle, but that means that it’ll take a lot longer to build one up and you’ll have to figure out ways to avoid the loser buddies/girls of people you want to hang out with (ie – I want to party with you ’cause you know how to hold your liquor and you’re upbeat and positive and we wing good together, but you always bring your 400lbs annoying feminist fat chick friend with you and a dude who chugs half a bottle of tequila at the pre-game and is picking fights before we even get to the bar).

      But when you cultivate a solid social circle of just the QUALITY people, it can be pretty sweet and worth the effort.

      The biggest key to remember is to offer value AND to *EXPECT* value in return. If someone is just taking value, and you’ll find a TON of these guys, my buddy and I call them vultures, ask yourself what value they’re giving you. Like a common scenario is that buddies I’ve just met will bust into my sets because they’re too scared to open, so they’ll wait for me to open a girl and then barge in and try to take the girl’s attention or just fuck the set up because they interrupted my shit and they’re my buddy so I’m not going to get rid of them the way I would with a normal AMOG I don’t know ’cause I don’t want them butthurt at me.

      So the end result is that these guys want to hang with me constantly because I’m the ticket to chances at pussy for them, and on top of that I’m always upbeat and positive and bring a good vibe and make sure everyone has fun and meets girls, so they’re getting a TON of value from me…but none of them makes an effort to wing me, or they actively fuck my sets up, or they have negative mindsets that bring me down when we’re out, or they get too drunk and I have to babysit, etc., and there’s a point where I have to say “Okay, they get a TON of value from me…but what value do I realistically get from THEM?”

      If the answer to that is “really, not that much, if any…in fact sometimes our relationship is just them actively TAKING value from me” then it’s time to cut them loose.

      A big part of the beta-izing culture we’re in is that we’re brought up to be people-pleasers in society today and we’re shamed and taught that we’re being selfish if we DARE expect anything from anyone. We’re raised by social conditioning and the general “for the greater good” and “a real man suffers in silence while taking care of others” shit to feel BAD expecting other people to offer us value in exchange for the value we give. So we do stupid shit like stay in relationships with girls who don’t bring anything to the table but their pussy, or we stay buddies with guys who don’t give a shit about our goals or keep us from achieving them, etc.

      It’s okay to be selfish and it’s okay to have standards that you expect other people to live up to, and it’s okay to cut people out of your life who don’t live up to your expectations. That’s FINE. Your goals and your wants are JUST as valid and important as theirs and you are the ONLY one who cares about your goals. Everyone else is concerned about what THEY want and what makes THEM happy and THEIR goals. It’s okay to be the same way. That’s how you achieve those goals.

      Also I don’t throw parties myself (though I have in the past) because I just like being the guy who shows up to them instead…much less hassle on my end. And I don’t want my shit broken or drinks spilled all over etc. But that said, I did very specifically buy a comfortable futon for people to crash on and I have glassware ice a bit of alcohol etc. and I keep my apartment clean, because I live in the middle of a major bar district so I’m able to offer the value of a warm comfortable place to pull girls to or to crash to save cab fare etc. when I’m hanging with the right people. You don’t have to throw a big Project X party to offer value…often just saving them $15 cab fare by letting them crash on your couch or having a bit of booze for if you pull girls back to your place etc. is offering plenty of value.

      Good luck. Keep at it. I’m almost mid-30s myself, plenty of us who grew up in the old community are in our 30s now, so you’re not out there alone. It’s become very socially acceptable for people to still be out at the bars at 30+, especially guys because we go up in value over time, and a lot of the young guys now are all beta-ized manginas so that’s caused a lot of younger chicks to gravitate toward older men like us.

      Remember that you’re the only one who cares if you achieve this goal. No one else does, even your own biology doesn’t care…if you’re alive and jack off to porn, your brain is like “cool mission accomplished, this dude lived long enough to blow a load”. Your brain doesn’t care if you’re married to some fat chick who doesn’t put out and hate your job and you blow your paycheque on hookers trying to feel human contact that your wife doesn’t give you…and your brain doesn’t care if you have a harem of hotties and live like Hugh Hefner.

      You are the only one who cares about your goals, understands your motivations and why they’re important to you, and you’re the only one who can take right action to ACHIEVE those goals. So mad respect just for taking the first steps toward taking control of your life.


    • YaReally
      on September 24, 2014 at 4:41 pm
      Original Link

      Following what Sentient just wrote about staff stuff, one thing I forget that a lot of “normal people” don’t know is that often a lot of bars/clubs/etc are owned by the same handful of people. So the owner of the kiddie nightclub also owns the 30+ crowd pub and the cougar bar to maximize the customers bringing in money. And bartenders and bouncers will often float between different venues often working at multiple venues at once or ending employment at one and starting at another etc. so that effort you invest can pay off unexpectedly.

      A new venue opened where my buddies and I knew like half the staff from other venues and it only took a couple nights there to know the other half of the staff so we dominated the newest hottest venue from day 1 skipping the line past hot girls and shaking bartender hands (and even the busboys who collect glasses etc) while everyone else was scared to be there, just because we were social with staff over the years. Waitresses float around too but I’ve found that they have so many options for making money that often they’ll try non night scene venues for a bit or change their line of work entirely. There isn’t much else a 300lbs dude who’s been dropping dumbasses on the ground for 5 years can do if he wants to work somewhere else so especially don’t be an annoyance to bouncers lol



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

Anonymous
on September 22, 2014 at 11:56 am
Original Link

what about this situation:

i go on alot of first time tinder meetups for drinks

we drink and i game her, get her talking about sexual topics and physically escalating to making out in the bar. i also portray myself as extremely R selected (this might be problem as i may be activating her ASD at this point)

after our drinks i say lets go and leave the bar with her

outside i say, ‘lets go back to mine for a quick drink’ and start leading her towards a taxi

sometimes the girl says yes, most of the time i get resistance like ‘im not going back to yours ya know’ or ”ye sure drinks, you just want sex’. i try to disarm it by persisting saying ‘no just a quick drink, i gotta be up early etc’

i have never had a time where the girl has given me resistance and i have broken through to getting her back…usually had to day 2 her. is this just the luck of draw (ie chick dependant) or is there something better i can be doing here?


  • kant
    on September 22, 2014 at 12:22 pm
    Original Link

    Yeah, you’re doing it all wrong. You’re spiking ASD for no reason.

    I do a lot of Tinder lays, did my fifth one of the month last night actually (100% lay rate for September so far)

    The way you’re framing it is that it is obvious that you are going to have sex. Don’t make out at the bar, if you do there’s no plausible deniability that she’s going home with you to fuck.

    I have a sexual vibe but I don’t do anything physical at the bar other than maybe light kino. When we leave the bar I tell her let’s go to my place to get my cigarettes, or something innocuous like that, and then escalate to sex while we’re in my room. That way she can say it “just happened” (they literally always use those exact words) and don’t feel like a slut


    • YaReally
      on September 22, 2014 at 1:08 pm
      Original Link

      This.

      1) seed the extract. You’re forcing a sudden choice. You’ll know you’re doing it right when SHES the one asking about that movie you said you had or that wine you mentioned you bought, trying to help you get her home.

      2) don’t kill the sexual tension by sucking face in the bar. There’s no reason to go buy a backscratcher if someone scratches the itch before you head to the store.



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

Anonymous
on September 22, 2014 at 11:56 am
Original Link

what about this situation:

i go on alot of first time tinder meetups for drinks

we drink and i game her, get her talking about sexual topics and physically escalating to making out in the bar. i also portray myself as extremely R selected (this might be problem as i may be activating her ASD at this point)

after our drinks i say lets go and leave the bar with her

outside i say, ‘lets go back to mine for a quick drink’ and start leading her towards a taxi

sometimes the girl says yes, most of the time i get resistance like ‘im not going back to yours ya know’ or ”ye sure drinks, you just want sex’. i try to disarm it by persisting saying ‘no just a quick drink, i gotta be up early etc’

i have never had a time where the girl has given me resistance and i have broken through to getting her back…usually had to day 2 her. is this just the luck of draw (ie chick dependant) or is there something better i can be doing here?


  • kant
    on September 22, 2014 at 12:22 pm
    Original Link

    Yeah, you’re doing it all wrong. You’re spiking ASD for no reason.

    I do a lot of Tinder lays, did my fifth one of the month last night actually (100% lay rate for September so far)

    The way you’re framing it is that it is obvious that you are going to have sex. Don’t make out at the bar, if you do there’s no plausible deniability that she’s going home with you to fuck.

    I have a sexual vibe but I don’t do anything physical at the bar other than maybe light kino. When we leave the bar I tell her let’s go to my place to get my cigarettes, or something innocuous like that, and then escalate to sex while we’re in my room. That way she can say it “just happened” (they literally always use those exact words) and don’t feel like a slut


    • YaReally
      on September 22, 2014 at 1:08 pm
      Original Link

      This.

      1) seed the extract. You’re forcing a sudden choice. You’ll know you’re doing it right when SHES the one asking about that movie you said you had or that wine you mentioned you bought, trying to help you get her home.

      2) don’t kill the sexual tension by sucking face in the bar. There’s no reason to go buy a backscratcher if someone scratches the itch before you head to the store.



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

pulsotic
on September 22, 2014 at 12:10 pm
Original Link

Text message from this chicks hamster who told me “no sex tonight” after I stopped calling her:
“U handled the sex thing so so poorly. U never ever asked me if it was okay. U just physically pushed for it until I gave up. That was selfish and super super disrespectful ”

Lol, she was way into it, I love the reframe of her giving up instead of the complete f*cking opposite of reality

So, for future reference, if you do bang a girl that says “no sex tonight”, how much contact is required to maintain a sexual relationship. I’ve found I must see her in person within a day or two after sex depending on her mental stability. Two weeks has been way too long to maintain anything.


  • YaReally
    on September 22, 2014 at 1:12 pm
    Original Link

    “Lol, she was way into it, I love the reframe of her giving up instead of the complete f*cking opposite of reality”

    The judge will love it too, a nice easy rape conviction. Learn to prevent Buyer’s Remorse or you are playing a dangerous game of chicken with false rape accusations.

    Learn to calibrate. You shouldn’t be getting a response like this.



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

pulsotic
on September 22, 2014 at 12:10 pm
Original Link

Text message from this chicks hamster who told me “no sex tonight” after I stopped calling her:
“U handled the sex thing so so poorly. U never ever asked me if it was okay. U just physically pushed for it until I gave up. That was selfish and super super disrespectful ”

Lol, she was way into it, I love the reframe of her giving up instead of the complete f*cking opposite of reality

So, for future reference, if you do bang a girl that says “no sex tonight”, how much contact is required to maintain a sexual relationship. I’ve found I must see her in person within a day or two after sex depending on her mental stability. Two weeks has been way too long to maintain anything.


  • YaReally
    on September 22, 2014 at 1:12 pm
    Original Link

    “Lol, she was way into it, I love the reframe of her giving up instead of the complete f*cking opposite of reality”

    The judge will love it too, a nice easy rape conviction. Learn to prevent Buyer’s Remorse or you are playing a dangerous game of chicken with false rape accusations.

    Learn to calibrate. You shouldn’t be getting a response like this.



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 22, 2014 at 2:22 pm
Original Link

Some notes on this:

1) CALIBRATE CALIBRATE CALIBRATE. Don’t be a sperg. Learn to recognize hard No’s and token resistance and back off if you get the hard No. I’ve seen enough spergtards running game to be wary of encouraging “no means yes” without stressing the nuance of “SOMETIMES”.

2) Learn about Buyer’s Remorse and how to prevent it from happening and how to diffuse it in an emergency situ where it DOES happen. How about a CH article on that next that can be linked to in these types of articles?

3) One of the biggest things to watch for is: Can she leave? If she says “we’re not having sex tonight” but she’s passively continuing the date thru your venue/activity changes etc or she’s ACTIVELY continuing the date like you were thinking “hmm I guess this isn’t going to pan out” and she orders another drink or suggests a new venue or activity etc, then it’s probably token resistance. Part of why Mystery’s freeze-outs worked is that he was giving the girl the freedom to leave so if she didn’t leave when he actively gave her the chance, then he knew the resistance was token. Some guys will “plow thru her resistance” when she has no ability to escape the situation and even if she ends up enjoying it or they smooth over her buyer’s remorse etc, they are rolling some extremely risky rape-dice that they shouldn’t need to roll if they run proper game where the girl ends up chasing them.

LMR is generally an indication that you fucked up the sarge somewhere. If you had demonstrated more value, built better rapport/comfort, etc you wouldn’t get it…it’s an indicator that she needs something you missed. That’s why you’ll often get more LMR on a fast one night stand pull where you’ve only built absolute minimal comfort/rapport with her and you’re up till 5am with her diffusing shit before you get the lay. Even with a fast pull if your game is tight/efficient so you flip all the proper switches you shouldn’t get much if any LMR.

I haven’t run into LMR at my apartment in years. Obviously there are girls (a lot of them) who like the “I’ll resist and you ignore it and dominate me” thing but if you run into that type, calibrate and make sure you don’t trigger Buyer’s Remorse. Kicking a girl like that out instead of going for breakfast together can be the difference between months of stress or months of sex.

4) one of my personal rules is the more rough the sex, especially the first time (even if she consciously requests choking/slapping/etc the first time when we’re talking about sex in general), or the more LMR I have to diffuse/plow (back when I used to get LMR), the more “after-care” I do to avoid Buyer’s Remorse. So if there’s no real LMR and it’s a smooth lay, I’ll cuddle for a bit after and then call her a cab. If I have to plow thru a lot of LMR or we have rough sex, I’ll cuddle for longer and probably go for food up the street or order pizza for us and maybe watch a movie and go for round 2 etc. so she feels like she isn’t just a piece of meat.

For my own safety I don’t do full out rape roleplays that leave hardcore marks until we’ve hooked up a few times even if I know from the start that it’s a fantasy of hers, so I know she’s mentally stable and I can trust her and even then I’ll do a ton of after-care cuddling and grabbing food etc while our adrenaline comes down and I can make sure she’s cool with everything we did and I can smooth out any jagged edges of the experience…and even then I’ll make sure to get txt confirmation that she had fun which brings me to:

5) get txt confirmation that she had fun incase you fuck up or she turns out to be cluster-B etc and shit hits the fan. I tell them to txt me when they get home so I know they made it safe and when they txt I steer the convo toward getting them to admit they had fun and specifically ask/mention about particularly rough activities so I have actual confirmation that it was all consensual.

After that, if I don’t want to see them again I’ll just do a slow fade away over the next few weeks and if she pushes to meet up again I’ll say my ex and I have been talking and we’ve decided to try giving it another go etc so I’m no longer available but she can’t take it personally…but I still micromanage this stage to make sure I don’t leave her pissed off at me and thinking about how to hurt me back.

6) I know, I know, it feels very “cool” and “badass” to tell your bros about how that chick you banged last night was all “we’re not having sex” and then 10 min later you were bending her over your kitchen counter and then you kicked that bitch out like a boss what a slut lololllz…and your bros will probably fistbump you for it and all. But that’s a recipe for massive life drama. Naturals love doing that stuff but if you spend time around that type of Natural you’ll generally find that they have a TON of drama from girls in their life (a lot of them thrive on it too) and that a lot of the girls they bang end up hating them (or acting like they hate them but still banging them and they have to constantly plow LMR and there’s all sorts of emotional tears and drama from the girls).

Again it’s rolling dice that you don’t need to roll and in today’s hostile feminist environment (look at university rape accusations and their kangaroo courts these days, and every girl seems to want to be a part of the “I’m attractive enough to have been sexually assaulted/abused” perpetual victim club these days), a guy should be avoiding that dice roll as much as possible.

Have fun but be smart, especially if you’re a younger dude with a future to risk losing. A crotchety old Natural who’s business reputation extends to the local bar and a niche group of buddies, would probably call me a pussy for worrying about her feelings and being so cautious etc but if you’re in your 20s and your career plans involve public success where people are going to Google your name/photo/Facebook/etc down the road etc, then be smart about this shit cause one fuckup can haunt you for years and ruin your future and you’ll wish you had just gone for an Egg McMuffin with her. Even my longer-term fuckbuddies don’t know my real last name or what I really do for work. Be smart.


  • kant
    on September 22, 2014 at 2:46 pm
    Original Link

    @yareally

    How would you a handle a high ASD girl who gives you LMR every time, but still comes over once a week? I think she has some serious mental issues about sex.

    It’s weird, I don’t get LMR very often these days (and most of my lays are on first meet), but she’s a strong exception. Hot as fuck though so I’ve put up with it.


    • YaReally
      on September 22, 2014 at 3:13 pm
      Original Link

      “How would you a handle a high ASD girl who gives you LMR every time, but still comes over once a week?”

      I wouldn’t. She would have to be a phenomenal lay for me to waste my time on that shit after the first couple bangs. Like I’d get a lay or two so I know my game was tight enough to succeed (and to preempt the guys who are going to say “see YaReally only goes for easy sluts who put out the first night he couldn’t get a unicorn who has morals!!!” lol), and then lose interest fast. Life is too short for girls with mental baggage about sex, there are other girls just as hot who won’t waste so much of my time lol

      I don’t mind LMR/ASD the first couple times we have sex. That’s fine, she doesn’t owe me sex just because I approach her, she doesn’t owe me anything. But if we’ve banged a few times so we both KNOW we enjoy having sex with eachother and she’s STILL making me work for it every time then she can go sort out her sexual baggage on her own I don’t need to deal with that “I’m too immature or hung up to admit I like sex” shit lol

      I view it like if you dragged me out for beers and we had a blast but every week I kept making you drag me out and convince me to go for beer. Eventually you’d be like fuck this and tell me to call you when I’ve decided to quit being retarded and make a mature adult decision that I want to go get a beer because you’re investing a lot of energy and I’m not providing any real value that you couldn’t get from another buddy who’s eager to come out for beers.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:19 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie Shane
      “and then think that throwing a couple of pieces of pizza in her general direction will fool her into believing her that they have sufficient “feelings” for her not to need to see the District Attorney about filing rape charges.”

      Buyer’s Remorse didn’t originate in pickup, it originated in marketing. From Wikipedia: “Factors that affect buyer’s remorse include resources invested, the involvement of the purchaser, whether the purchase is compatible with the purchaser’s goals, and what positive or negative evidence the purchaser encounters post-purchase that confirms or denies the purchase as a good idea.”

      This is just understanding human psychology. It’s no more nefarious than someone saying “you look nice in that expensive jacket you just bought” instead of saying “wow, you spend all your money on THAT?? Why??”

      “Which would put us in the bizarre situation of dudes with actual feelings taking advice from dudes who have to fake their feelings. Strange bedfellows and whatnot. PPPS: Getting back to my original point, don’t any of y’all ever experience NATURAL chemistry with a chick? Does everything have to be faked and forced and algorithmed to death?”

      I care about and have feelings for the girls I bang and the chemistry we have is always real (I just build it faster than normal guys can because I understand how it works). But 1) I don’t let that make me make stupid decisions, 2) I understand I can get those same feelings from other women as well, and 3) Those feelings are not guaranteed, I understand their value and if she doesn’t deserve them or hasn’t earned them then she doesn’t keep getting them.

      You’re like the guy who thinks a girl deserves her drinks being bought for her just because she has a pussy. I value my money, she has to earn her drink. When I give her that drink, I fully mean it and hope she enjoys it, but if she doesn’t continue to earn more drinks then I’m not going to keep handing them to her.

      “PPPPPS: Helps to know about pop culture here; call her “Miley” [Cyrus] or “Taylor” [Swift] or something else which she would understand to be passe.”

      Are we in the bizarre situation of dudes who actually want to go out taking advice from dudes who have to fake going out? Strange bedfellows and whatnot.



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 22, 2014 at 2:22 pm
Original Link

Some notes on this:

1) CALIBRATE CALIBRATE CALIBRATE. Don’t be a sperg. Learn to recognize hard No’s and token resistance and back off if you get the hard No. I’ve seen enough spergtards running game to be wary of encouraging “no means yes” without stressing the nuance of “SOMETIMES”.

2) Learn about Buyer’s Remorse and how to prevent it from happening and how to diffuse it in an emergency situ where it DOES happen. How about a CH article on that next that can be linked to in these types of articles?

3) One of the biggest things to watch for is: Can she leave? If she says “we’re not having sex tonight” but she’s passively continuing the date thru your venue/activity changes etc or she’s ACTIVELY continuing the date like you were thinking “hmm I guess this isn’t going to pan out” and she orders another drink or suggests a new venue or activity etc, then it’s probably token resistance. Part of why Mystery’s freeze-outs worked is that he was giving the girl the freedom to leave so if she didn’t leave when he actively gave her the chance, then he knew the resistance was token. Some guys will “plow thru her resistance” when she has no ability to escape the situation and even if she ends up enjoying it or they smooth over her buyer’s remorse etc, they are rolling some extremely risky rape-dice that they shouldn’t need to roll if they run proper game where the girl ends up chasing them.

LMR is generally an indication that you fucked up the sarge somewhere. If you had demonstrated more value, built better rapport/comfort, etc you wouldn’t get it…it’s an indicator that she needs something you missed. That’s why you’ll often get more LMR on a fast one night stand pull where you’ve only built absolute minimal comfort/rapport with her and you’re up till 5am with her diffusing shit before you get the lay. Even with a fast pull if your game is tight/efficient so you flip all the proper switches you shouldn’t get much if any LMR.

I haven’t run into LMR at my apartment in years. Obviously there are girls (a lot of them) who like the “I’ll resist and you ignore it and dominate me” thing but if you run into that type, calibrate and make sure you don’t trigger Buyer’s Remorse. Kicking a girl like that out instead of going for breakfast together can be the difference between months of stress or months of sex.

4) one of my personal rules is the more rough the sex, especially the first time (even if she consciously requests choking/slapping/etc the first time when we’re talking about sex in general), or the more LMR I have to diffuse/plow (back when I used to get LMR), the more “after-care” I do to avoid Buyer’s Remorse. So if there’s no real LMR and it’s a smooth lay, I’ll cuddle for a bit after and then call her a cab. If I have to plow thru a lot of LMR or we have rough sex, I’ll cuddle for longer and probably go for food up the street or order pizza for us and maybe watch a movie and go for round 2 etc. so she feels like she isn’t just a piece of meat.

For my own safety I don’t do full out rape roleplays that leave hardcore marks until we’ve hooked up a few times even if I know from the start that it’s a fantasy of hers, so I know she’s mentally stable and I can trust her and even then I’ll do a ton of after-care cuddling and grabbing food etc while our adrenaline comes down and I can make sure she’s cool with everything we did and I can smooth out any jagged edges of the experience…and even then I’ll make sure to get txt confirmation that she had fun which brings me to:

5) get txt confirmation that she had fun incase you fuck up or she turns out to be cluster-B etc and shit hits the fan. I tell them to txt me when they get home so I know they made it safe and when they txt I steer the convo toward getting them to admit they had fun and specifically ask/mention about particularly rough activities so I have actual confirmation that it was all consensual.

After that, if I don’t want to see them again I’ll just do a slow fade away over the next few weeks and if she pushes to meet up again I’ll say my ex and I have been talking and we’ve decided to try giving it another go etc so I’m no longer available but she can’t take it personally…but I still micromanage this stage to make sure I don’t leave her pissed off at me and thinking about how to hurt me back.

6) I know, I know, it feels very “cool” and “badass” to tell your bros about how that chick you banged last night was all “we’re not having sex” and then 10 min later you were bending her over your kitchen counter and then you kicked that bitch out like a boss what a slut lololllz…and your bros will probably fistbump you for it and all. But that’s a recipe for massive life drama. Naturals love doing that stuff but if you spend time around that type of Natural you’ll generally find that they have a TON of drama from girls in their life (a lot of them thrive on it too) and that a lot of the girls they bang end up hating them (or acting like they hate them but still banging them and they have to constantly plow LMR and there’s all sorts of emotional tears and drama from the girls).

Again it’s rolling dice that you don’t need to roll and in today’s hostile feminist environment (look at university rape accusations and their kangaroo courts these days, and every girl seems to want to be a part of the “I’m attractive enough to have been sexually assaulted/abused” perpetual victim club these days), a guy should be avoiding that dice roll as much as possible.

Have fun but be smart, especially if you’re a younger dude with a future to risk losing. A crotchety old Natural who’s business reputation extends to the local bar and a niche group of buddies, would probably call me a pussy for worrying about her feelings and being so cautious etc but if you’re in your 20s and your career plans involve public success where people are going to Google your name/photo/Facebook/etc down the road etc, then be smart about this shit cause one fuckup can haunt you for years and ruin your future and you’ll wish you had just gone for an Egg McMuffin with her. Even my longer-term fuckbuddies don’t know my real last name or what I really do for work. Be smart.


  • kant
    on September 22, 2014 at 2:46 pm
    Original Link

    @yareally

    How would you a handle a high ASD girl who gives you LMR every time, but still comes over once a week? I think she has some serious mental issues about sex.

    It’s weird, I don’t get LMR very often these days (and most of my lays are on first meet), but she’s a strong exception. Hot as fuck though so I’ve put up with it.


    • YaReally
      on September 22, 2014 at 3:13 pm
      Original Link

      “How would you a handle a high ASD girl who gives you LMR every time, but still comes over once a week?”

      I wouldn’t. She would have to be a phenomenal lay for me to waste my time on that shit after the first couple bangs. Like I’d get a lay or two so I know my game was tight enough to succeed (and to preempt the guys who are going to say “see YaReally only goes for easy sluts who put out the first night he couldn’t get a unicorn who has morals!!!” lol), and then lose interest fast. Life is too short for girls with mental baggage about sex, there are other girls just as hot who won’t waste so much of my time lol

      I don’t mind LMR/ASD the first couple times we have sex. That’s fine, she doesn’t owe me sex just because I approach her, she doesn’t owe me anything. But if we’ve banged a few times so we both KNOW we enjoy having sex with eachother and she’s STILL making me work for it every time then she can go sort out her sexual baggage on her own I don’t need to deal with that “I’m too immature or hung up to admit I like sex” shit lol

      I view it like if you dragged me out for beers and we had a blast but every week I kept making you drag me out and convince me to go for beer. Eventually you’d be like fuck this and tell me to call you when I’ve decided to quit being retarded and make a mature adult decision that I want to go get a beer because you’re investing a lot of energy and I’m not providing any real value that you couldn’t get from another buddy who’s eager to come out for beers.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:19 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie Shane
      “and then think that throwing a couple of pieces of pizza in her general direction will fool her into believing her that they have sufficient “feelings” for her not to need to see the District Attorney about filing rape charges.”

      Buyer’s Remorse didn’t originate in pickup, it originated in marketing. From Wikipedia: “Factors that affect buyer’s remorse include resources invested, the involvement of the purchaser, whether the purchase is compatible with the purchaser’s goals, and what positive or negative evidence the purchaser encounters post-purchase that confirms or denies the purchase as a good idea.”

      This is just understanding human psychology. It’s no more nefarious than someone saying “you look nice in that expensive jacket you just bought” instead of saying “wow, you spend all your money on THAT?? Why??”

      “Which would put us in the bizarre situation of dudes with actual feelings taking advice from dudes who have to fake their feelings. Strange bedfellows and whatnot. PPPS: Getting back to my original point, don’t any of y’all ever experience NATURAL chemistry with a chick? Does everything have to be faked and forced and algorithmed to death?”

      I care about and have feelings for the girls I bang and the chemistry we have is always real (I just build it faster than normal guys can because I understand how it works). But 1) I don’t let that make me make stupid decisions, 2) I understand I can get those same feelings from other women as well, and 3) Those feelings are not guaranteed, I understand their value and if she doesn’t deserve them or hasn’t earned them then she doesn’t keep getting them.

      You’re like the guy who thinks a girl deserves her drinks being bought for her just because she has a pussy. I value my money, she has to earn her drink. When I give her that drink, I fully mean it and hope she enjoys it, but if she doesn’t continue to earn more drinks then I’m not going to keep handing them to her.

      “PPPPPS: Helps to know about pop culture here; call her “Miley” [Cyrus] or “Taylor” [Swift] or something else which she would understand to be passe.”

      Are we in the bizarre situation of dudes who actually want to go out taking advice from dudes who have to fake going out? Strange bedfellows and whatnot.



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

Kuba (@Kubablog)
on September 22, 2014 at 2:51 pm
Original Link

When you are going to your pad with a chick could be a good move to say BEFORE she does it , in a funny way

“… but not sex tonight, I’m not that easy/I need time/blablabla” ?


  • YaReally
    on September 22, 2014 at 2:59 pm
    Original Link

    Ya this is an old-school PUA move called “stealing her frame”. You predict what her objections will be and use them before she can. It works wonders and it’s hilarious to see them mentally register that they can’t object because you already did so you get exchanges where you go “but we’re not having sex tonight, I have to work in the morning” and she’s thrown off because she was going to say that but isn’t prepared with a comeback so she just goes “no we’re not having sex because **I** have to work in the morning” and you can make fun of her for copying you.



“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

Original Link

via Heartiste

Kuba (@Kubablog)
on September 22, 2014 at 2:51 pm
Original Link

When you are going to your pad with a chick could be a good move to say BEFORE she does it , in a funny way

“… but not sex tonight, I’m not that easy/I need time/blablabla” ?


  • YaReally
    on September 22, 2014 at 2:59 pm
    Original Link

    Ya this is an old-school PUA move called “stealing her frame”. You predict what her objections will be and use them before she can. It works wonders and it’s hilarious to see them mentally register that they can’t object because you already did so you get exchanges where you go “but we’re not having sex tonight, I have to work in the morning” and she’s thrown off because she was going to say that but isn’t prepared with a comeback so she just goes “no we’re not having sex because **I** have to work in the morning” and you can make fun of her for copying you.



Homeless Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 19, 2014 at 4:50 pm
Original Link

Tyler sounds gay too. Women don’t care. They care more about subcomms and what you do with that voice. Hell sometimes a gay voice causes them to let their guard down.

Homeless dude has solid frame control and despite his gay voice everything he says is breaking rapport and he speaks loud and unstifled and thinks he’s a 10/10 (delusional confidence, his beliefs about NYC are abundance mentality etc). Look at how he instantly dismisses the girl’s objections at the start like they’re insignificant. Women pick up and extrapolate a LOT from little shit like that.

Don’t know if the vid itself is legit but ppl say they’ve seen that guy around and there have been a handful of PUAs who do stuff like this (sometimes as a challenge sometimes cause they let their life go to shit) and what he does in the video is decent enough game. Plus he lives in NYC where there’s an abundance of horny women with money/jobs and not enough men to go around so he has plenty of access.

Really, if the girl doesn’t SEE him sleeping on the street, and she just sees him approaching her on the street or in a subway, she doesn’t know he isn’t just some fun frat dude running direct game. There’s no reason for her to suspect he’s homeless. And if he tells her AFTER she’s attracted then she’ll forgive it.

Most of the girls I bang (even longer term FBs) have no idea what I do for a living. If I fuck them at their place then they would have no idea if I was homeless. I already wear the same shirt all the time as it is and girls don’t care lol

I think the massive instant hate/dismissal/staged-accusations of this guy is interesting from a “who does this trigger insecurities for?” perspective. I was expecting a rational discussion of value, external attributes, internal confidence, and game off this video lol

It’s like half of you have never seen a gay sounding dude (like ppl have said that’s basically the entire millennial generation) without money pick up a fuckin girl before. Hell the guy isn’t even that bad off he’s making more a day than I have in years lol

He probably gobbles some dick now and then, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t lessons a guy learning game can take from this interview.



Homeless Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 19, 2014 at 4:50 pm
Original Link

Tyler sounds gay too. Women don’t care. They care more about subcomms and what you do with that voice. Hell sometimes a gay voice causes them to let their guard down.

Homeless dude has solid frame control and despite his gay voice everything he says is breaking rapport and he speaks loud and unstifled and thinks he’s a 10/10 (delusional confidence, his beliefs about NYC are abundance mentality etc). Look at how he instantly dismisses the girl’s objections at the start like they’re insignificant. Women pick up and extrapolate a LOT from little shit like that.

Don’t know if the vid itself is legit but ppl say they’ve seen that guy around and there have been a handful of PUAs who do stuff like this (sometimes as a challenge sometimes cause they let their life go to shit) and what he does in the video is decent enough game. Plus he lives in NYC where there’s an abundance of horny women with money/jobs and not enough men to go around so he has plenty of access.

Really, if the girl doesn’t SEE him sleeping on the street, and she just sees him approaching her on the street or in a subway, she doesn’t know he isn’t just some fun frat dude running direct game. There’s no reason for her to suspect he’s homeless. And if he tells her AFTER she’s attracted then she’ll forgive it.

Most of the girls I bang (even longer term FBs) have no idea what I do for a living. If I fuck them at their place then they would have no idea if I was homeless. I already wear the same shirt all the time as it is and girls don’t care lol

I think the massive instant hate/dismissal/staged-accusations of this guy is interesting from a “who does this trigger insecurities for?” perspective. I was expecting a rational discussion of value, external attributes, internal confidence, and game off this video lol

It’s like half of you have never seen a gay sounding dude (like ppl have said that’s basically the entire millennial generation) without money pick up a fuckin girl before. Hell the guy isn’t even that bad off he’s making more a day than I have in years lol

He probably gobbles some dick now and then, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t lessons a guy learning game can take from this interview.



Overcoming A Bad First Impression

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 18, 2014 at 4:59 pm
Original Link

Frame control & plow:



Overcoming A Bad First Impression

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 18, 2014 at 4:59 pm
Original Link

Frame control & plow:



The Difference Between “Open” and “No Fucks Given” Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Z.
on September 18, 2014 at 4:02 pm
Original Link

“True open relationships are different in kind from “I don’t give a fuck what you do on your own time” relationships. The former are verbally confirmed agreements to strange and psychologically toxic sexual and romantic arrangements that defy biosocial realities and are often designed to the benefit of weird lesser beta females and their ovulation cycles, and to the detriment of lesser beta males with scarcity mentalities and low T”

You just admitted to not knowing any “true” open relationships. Your previous article was about the swingers and fetish scene.

True open relationships are often the kind you would never even detect because couples do go around talking about it all the time, like the fetishists to.

True open relationships often look just like any other middle class suburban family with kids and respectable careers.


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 4:52 pm
    Original Link

    “True open relationships are often the kind you would never even detect because couples do go around talking about it all the time, like the fetishists to.

    True open relationships often look just like any other middle class suburban family with kids and respectable careers.”

    This. The fetishists who make it a loud & proud identity are like the blowhard players who spend the entire predrink to brag about all their conquests and try to convince everyone they’re the man and brag about how much pussy they’re gonna’ get at the bar tonight. The real player is the guy who silently shrugs and doesn’t care what you think of his skills, and just walks out the door with a girl to bone halfway through the night.

    The successful oLTRs, esp the one-sided ones, are invisible. I can pretty much guarantee that you know a few of them and just have no idea. oLTRs are are about discretion and can completely involve love and deep feelings for your Primary and literally just using other women for sex/fun on the side while still actually caring about your girl and planning a future with her.

    The fetishy semi-bisexual “let’s all have a sex swing party in our living room with our kids watching lololz” freakshow aren’t real oLTRs lol I realize this is just a definition thing, but it’s an important distinction to make.

    There’s an area between “no fucks given” and “crazy swingers club freakshow”, and that area is where real oLTRs are hiding.



The Difference Between “Open” and “No Fucks Given” Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Z.
on September 18, 2014 at 4:02 pm
Original Link

“True open relationships are different in kind from “I don’t give a fuck what you do on your own time” relationships. The former are verbally confirmed agreements to strange and psychologically toxic sexual and romantic arrangements that defy biosocial realities and are often designed to the benefit of weird lesser beta females and their ovulation cycles, and to the detriment of lesser beta males with scarcity mentalities and low T”

You just admitted to not knowing any “true” open relationships. Your previous article was about the swingers and fetish scene.

True open relationships are often the kind you would never even detect because couples do go around talking about it all the time, like the fetishists to.

True open relationships often look just like any other middle class suburban family with kids and respectable careers.


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 4:52 pm
    Original Link

    “True open relationships are often the kind you would never even detect because couples do go around talking about it all the time, like the fetishists to.

    True open relationships often look just like any other middle class suburban family with kids and respectable careers.”

    This. The fetishists who make it a loud & proud identity are like the blowhard players who spend the entire predrink to brag about all their conquests and try to convince everyone they’re the man and brag about how much pussy they’re gonna’ get at the bar tonight. The real player is the guy who silently shrugs and doesn’t care what you think of his skills, and just walks out the door with a girl to bone halfway through the night.

    The successful oLTRs, esp the one-sided ones, are invisible. I can pretty much guarantee that you know a few of them and just have no idea. oLTRs are are about discretion and can completely involve love and deep feelings for your Primary and literally just using other women for sex/fun on the side while still actually caring about your girl and planning a future with her.

    The fetishy semi-bisexual “let’s all have a sex swing party in our living room with our kids watching lololz” freakshow aren’t real oLTRs lol I realize this is just a definition thing, but it’s an important distinction to make.

    There’s an area between “no fucks given” and “crazy swingers club freakshow”, and that area is where real oLTRs are hiding.



The Difference Between “Open” and “No Fucks Given” Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Arbiter
on September 18, 2014 at 4:06 pm
Original Link

CH, in case you missed it, this woman posted in the open-relationship thread:

https://twitter.com/shadalicious

Poster child for your point, isn’t she? Credit goes to ManOfSteal for pointing out that she linked to her Twitter account.

“from your skin everything comes back to my mouth, comes back to my heart, comes back to my body, #neruda”

All the selfish cowards who swallow the anti-Western propaganda their teachers tell them in school turn to communist shits like Pablo Neruda for things to quote. And it’s all retarded crap that only an idiot would think was worth quoting. “The media promote him, so it must be clever! It must be!”


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 4:55 pm
    Original Link

    ehhh no reason to harass her and her daughter. She probably didn’t realize where she was posting and what kind of guys lurk here.

    If I was CH I would delete these posts and delete her name/pic from her original post. It’s not cool if her daughter starts getting Manosphere fuckups sending her shit on Facebook.


  • Amber Straub (@shadalicious)
    on September 23, 2014 at 4:20 pm
    Original Link

    CH did not miss it, as he replied back to me by name. Thanks YaReally, my daughter is 13, and while I believe her to be experienced with dealing with trolls, there’s only so many hours in the day.

    You want to see what she does for fun? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWczy4WH-O8

    I know the type of men who lurk here. Because I share this site with every man I know, who needs it.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:44 pm
      Original Link

      @Amber
      “You want to see what she does for fun?”

      No. No one does. Why would you post videos of your 13yo daughter in a place like this? What the fuck kind of parent are you? Jesus.



The Difference Between “Open” and “No Fucks Given” Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Arbiter
on September 18, 2014 at 4:06 pm
Original Link

CH, in case you missed it, this woman posted in the open-relationship thread:

https://twitter.com/shadalicious

Poster child for your point, isn’t she? Credit goes to ManOfSteal for pointing out that she linked to her Twitter account.

“from your skin everything comes back to my mouth, comes back to my heart, comes back to my body, #neruda”

All the selfish cowards who swallow the anti-Western propaganda their teachers tell them in school turn to communist shits like Pablo Neruda for things to quote. And it’s all retarded crap that only an idiot would think was worth quoting. “The media promote him, so it must be clever! It must be!”


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 4:55 pm
    Original Link

    ehhh no reason to harass her and her daughter. She probably didn’t realize where she was posting and what kind of guys lurk here.

    If I was CH I would delete these posts and delete her name/pic from her original post. It’s not cool if her daughter starts getting Manosphere fuckups sending her shit on Facebook.


  • Amber Straub (@shadalicious)
    on September 23, 2014 at 4:20 pm
    Original Link

    CH did not miss it, as he replied back to me by name. Thanks YaReally, my daughter is 13, and while I believe her to be experienced with dealing with trolls, there’s only so many hours in the day.

    You want to see what she does for fun? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWczy4WH-O8

    I know the type of men who lurk here. Because I share this site with every man I know, who needs it.


    • YaReally
      on September 23, 2014 at 4:44 pm
      Original Link

      @Amber
      “You want to see what she does for fun?”

      No. No one does. Why would you post videos of your 13yo daughter in a place like this? What the fuck kind of parent are you? Jesus.



The Difference Between “Open” and “No Fucks Given” Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 18, 2014 at 6:36 pm
Original Link

@PA
“what do you offer men?”


  • Pluviophile
    on September 19, 2014 at 2:06 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally’s pleasures are not a celebration of life … but an escape from it.


    • YaReally
      on September 19, 2014 at 4:53 pm
      Original Link

      “sad isn’t it? and his groupies are all here clinging to his every word. even sadder.”

      Jesus what happened to this place while I was gone? Who let all these fucking vaginas take over? Where did the guys who like to swing their dicks at poon go? Am I on fucking Jezebel now?



The Difference Between “Open” and “No Fucks Given” Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 18, 2014 at 6:36 pm
Original Link

@PA
“what do you offer men?”


  • Pluviophile
    on September 19, 2014 at 2:06 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally’s pleasures are not a celebration of life … but an escape from it.


    • YaReally
      on September 19, 2014 at 4:53 pm
      Original Link

      “sad isn’t it? and his groupies are all here clinging to his every word. even sadder.”

      Jesus what happened to this place while I was gone? Who let all these fucking vaginas take over? Where did the guys who like to swing their dicks at poon go? Am I on fucking Jezebel now?



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 17, 2014 at 4:49 pm
Original Link

lol…

No one wants the type of oLTR CH is describing. There are communities and shit for that style (swinger parties and all) but from what I’ve seen generally in those relationships either the man is low value or the woman AND man are low value. They pride themselves weirdly on the whole thing because it’s like saying “we know we’re unattractive but look how much people want to fuck us and look at this unique thing we’re doing outside of society’s norms that we hope makes up for our blatant lack of value”. It’s the same reason most of the BDSM community that goes to clubs for it aren’t all sexy ppl, they’re like 90% a bunch of fatass gross people lol I suspect a lot of the guys have some level of homosexuality/cuckolding in them to get off on hearing all the details etc. (hi, Shane!) Most of us don’t want that lol

So toss all that shit out from the start. This article is basically like looking at a McDonald’s menu and saying “ordering food from restaraunts is gross and unhealthy.”

I deal with this shit all the time when I talk to guys IRL about oLTRs. The first thing they ALL say is “I dunno man, I don’t think I could handle knowing my girl is sucking like 12 dicks a weekend with guys blowing their load all over her face and then she kisses me”. Because they only meet the same type of people CH has met who embrace that kind of thing, so they think that’s what an oLTR is. A lot of that crap that’s out in society with all the labels and shit is the same as martial arts schools that teach you a bunch of “monkey fist 3-finger back-stance” poses. It’s stupid impractical shit. I don’t even really know what the definitions of polyamory and polygamy and polygnous mean…because none of that shit is actually important to making this stuff work. Same way you don’t need the monkey fist back-stance in a fight, you just need to know how to throw a fucking punch right…all that swingers club shit is for a weird sub-group of people that none of us want to be.

Why haven’t people like CH met a bunch of the better types of oLTRs? Because to make an oLTR work you have to be fucking DISCREET. You don’t advertise it all over the fucking place because it triggers the girl’s ASD and a ton of social pressure and it blows it up. That’s why those people join those little communities, so they can meet people who won’t judge them but it spirals from there because the guys are too pussy to lay down rules and the girls go along with what the other girls do. This is also why Gene Simmons fucked his oLTR up, ’cause he did a reality show and basically rubbed it in everyone’s face and then when the vid of him with a chick hit the press it’s too much social pressure and ASD and his chick had to whip him into marrying her. Dude fucked himself over.

Anyway, so what guys really want are either:

1) a one-sided oLTR where they get to fuck as many women as they want and not have to hide anything, and their girl participates in 3-somes with those girls and them, and their girl doesn’t fuck anyone else, only them.

Or if they can’t pull that off but still REALLY want the freedom to bang whoever they want and get stuck having to have a two-sided oLTR, then they want:

2) a two-sided oLTR where they get to fuck sa many women as they want but need to be relatively discreet and their girl is allowed to bang other dudes but they don’t want to hear any of the details and there are a bunch of rules established to keep those guys from being a threat, and she has to take a bath in a pool of disinfectant for like a week after. lol

Ironically, the only real difference between the two is the guy’s mindset and belief in his own value. Most guys WANT #1 but they’re too chickenshit to try it and have too much scarcity being afraid to lose the girl and they don’t believe they can pull it off. Most of the guys who end up in #2 COULD’VE had #1 if they had believed in their worth and felt a little bit more “entitled” (aka having a healthy understanding of just how much value they really bring to the table).

I’ve covered how to set them up and the mindsets you need and shit a bunch before:

http://yareallyarchive.com/search/?q=oLTR

But here’s the lowdown again of how oLTRs work and why one-sided oLTRs don’t work the way most people think (ie – the girls don’t go out and suck 400 dicks and come home covered in jizz). It’s the exact same concept behind why “girls like players” except extrapolated to way higher stakes:

– Hypergamy = women want the highest value male she thinks she can obtain, any male who’s lower value than that man is the same as a 400lbs girl is to us

– High-value male = a guy who’s attractive to a lot of women

– oLTR = both people can theoretically bang whoever they’re attracted to

Put that formula together and what do you get? Women end up only wanting to fuck their man (Hypergamy), and being cool with him fucking other women (this reinforces that he’s a high-value male because it shows that he’s attractive to a lot of women, so she’s actually MORE attracted to you because you’re confirming how high-value you are), because other men are literally less attractive to them (equivalent to 400lbs girls).

If I put you in a relationship with a 10/10, your dream hottie, and I told you can fuck ANY fat chick you want. ANY of them. You can fuck 400 of them in a weekend if you want, as long as they’re at least 300lbs each. Are you going to go fuck a bunch of them? No. You’re going to wait for that 10/10 to put out and keep trying to win her over because those other girls repulse you.

IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME THING. lol women feel exactly the same repulsion you would feel ditching your 10/10 for a 300lbs fatty, if they ditched their 10/10 man for any man of lower value. It is a socially conditioned limiting belief and cognitive dissonance that allows men to believe in Hypergamy and understand my 300lbs fat girls example but not accept that it works the same way in reverse.

The biggest reason men can’t pull this off and either won’t try it or will fuck it up, is that they’re still socially conditioned to believe that the rich outgoing 6’4″ handsome doctor is higher value than them. They think this because they’re looking at “what does society value? (looks money etc.)” and not “what do women value? (the emotions you make them feel)”.

So in the back of their heads they think “well, sure, an oLTR would be nice…and ya I get this whole “Hypergamy” thing, but like, but like, say she went to her office party and her BOSS his on her…and he’s a good looking guy and he’s rich!! AND I told her she COULD bang him!!! So she’s going to fuck him and then bang him every day and I’ll have to taste his boss-jizz when I kiss her OMG OMG OMG”

…does that sound like the headspace of a guy who TRULY believes he’s a 10/10? And TRULY (even delusionally) believes he’s higher-value than every other man in the world?

No. That’s the headspace of a guy who’s girl will end up fucking her boss. Because it’ll be in his subcommunications that he views other men as a threat.

Why does that affect things? Because another pickup rule we all understand is “what you feel, she feels”. If you feel like your opener is lame, so will she. If you feel like your gay fuzzy hat is the coolest thing in the world, so will she. Women ping off their environment to know how to feel. So she’s pinging off you to know whether her boss (or any other men she may meet in her life) are higher value than you or not.

Ask that homeless pickup guy in that video someone linked whether other guys are more attractive to women than him and he’ll lol in your face. He sleeps on the street but he’s convinced himself beyond delusion that he’s attractive as fuck and women want to fuck him. Naturals have a delusional sense of their high-value. Every Natural who’s legit good with women can acknowledge that other men can be attractive or cool, but in the back of their heads they add “…but I’M more attractive/cool lol”

Literally, in my delusional mind, if George Clooney and Brad Pitt in their prime walked into the room and hit on my girl it would be funny because they’re cool guys but lol seriously guys come on now, how do you expect to take my girl, I’m cooler than you guys and I fuck her better than you could lol Those are the actual thought-loops going through my head. Even if she’s FLIRTING with them, it’s a lol to me because I know they couldn’t actually get her (objectively maybe they could, but in my mind they can’t, and she’s pinging off me to know whether they can or not). Hell, in my mind it’s better to LET her flirt with them a bit because then they’ll fuck up and she’ll see they aren’t the perfect flawless guys she envisioned in her head when they fail one of her shit-tests and I’ll pick her up over my shoulder and take her home to bang her proper (with punishment for flirting of course).

Most guys who get into pickup come from a lifetime of shitty social conditioning that tells them they’re not good enough and they should compare themselves based on exteneral shit like looks and money to other men to determine their value. So this haunts most guys the rest of their life. Because they believe it, their girls believe it.

The reason these oLTRs fail is because the guy either goes into them feeling insecure instead of delusionally confident, or because they started out as the highest-value guy when they initiated the oLTR but over time they let themselves fall off-purpose and let themselves go and started feeling less attractive…Bob at the office got a new Ferrari and they feel insecure that they don’t have one. Their wife gets hit on at the bar by some good-looking dude and they look at him with puppy-dog eyes scared that he might be able to bang her. They stop taking care of their health or get stuck in a shitty job they hate that eats away at their soul and they start crying to their woman all the time about how hard life is when they aren’t laying on the couch watching reality TV.

They BECOME lower-value…and once they become lower-value, and start seeing other guys as higher-value, now their girl sees those guys as higher-value too, so the oLTR becomes a cuckold situation because they can’t get girls anymore and they’ve turned into the equivalent of a 400lbs girl to their girls while her boss looks like the badass alpha go-getter she should be fucking.

So if you’re going to do an oLTR, you have to make it a rule in your life, and swear to yourself, that you will ALWAYS be on your purpose and working toward self-improvement and being your best self. You don’t get to slack off and become Joe up the street sitting around with his loser buddies smoking pot and playing poker and scarfing down unhealthy shit to numb the pain of the dead-end jobs they hate but got stuck in because they have no ambition, while complaining to his buddies about how his wife’s boss keeps hitting on her. That guy’s oLTR girl will go suck 12 dicks that weekend.

You don’t get the luxury of letting yourself become low-value. You can for very small periods, if she’s been with you for a while, but you don’t get to dwell. If something bad happens, you feel bad for yourself for a few days and then you get back on the horse and push through and succeed and become better than you were.

The funny part is that you should want that for yourself in GENERAL. Just as a man, you should WANT to always be improving yourself and be on your purpose and working toward solidifying your internals and doing exciting things with your life instead of watching reality TV (which is basically watching OTHER people do BARELY more interesting things with their life, is there any activity LOWER value than that?? jesus…at least cheering for a sports team you’re cheering for athletes who are tearing shit up, but when you’re watching fucking Real World, you are watching losers being slightly less lame than people who watch their show).

So to summarize:

One-sided oLTR is totally possible. But you have to 1) have a strong frame that it’s not selfish and it’s the natural way things should work, 2) always strive to be high-value, 3) BELIEVE that you’re high-value, and 4) it’s a lot easier to maintain an oLTR than it is to turn a relationship INTO an oLTR (that means hit the ground running with it when you meet her, don’t wait till you two are in a dead bedroom marriage to try it).

I’m legit considering writing a book on the topic because I think men need to understand that this is an option and how to execute it, but I’m still young and working out the kinks in my approach to it, and Blackdragon already wrote some and that dude knows his shit so I highly recommend his books and reading his forum posts around the net. He’s the guy who broke down the Soft Next rules I always link to:

http://www.haveopenrelationships.com/

http://www.open-marriage.com/

I’m helping coach a buddy into an oLTR right now ’cause he wants to keep banging girls while settling with his girl ’cause she’s quality and he wants kids but he’s horny and doesn’t want to fully settle yet, so I’ve had to discuss this shit a bunch recently. His biggest problem is that he’s still viewing other men as high-value (he’s a minority race so he’s been brought up to view himself as lower value that white ppl (hi racists! His LTR is a white chick too lol)) and that mindset is exactly what’s going to tank him, so we’re working on his internal confidence right now doing stuff like introducing hot girls to good-looking dudes at the bar to watch the guys crash and burn and putting him into mixed sets to take the girls etc. so he gets over the idea that these guys are all super pimps just ’cause they have socially approved external attributes lol I told him not to pitch the oLTR for a while, ’cause he’s also moving around for work right now and he needs to wait till he knows he’s going to be settled in an area with lots of pussy…you can’t have an oLTR when you live out in the suburbs and work 100 hour weeks not interacting with women, ’cause you can’t maintain your skills with women (which makes your subcomms worse and makes it harder to maintain your internal confidence that you can get women). Gotta’ be in a position where you’ll be able to flirt with other girls regularly and feel like you could get them.


  • kant
    on September 17, 2014 at 10:27 pm
    Original Link

    My favorite of my mLTRs wants to lay down rules (like Blackdragon said would happen in his book). I don’t want any rules, like I want to be able to fall in love with other girls if I want or whatever, but I’m not sure how make my frame strong enough to get past this. I’ve been kicking the can down the road but at some point drama might ensue. Any advice? Blackdragon’s book is pretty light on what to do when she comes back with her demands


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 1:20 am
      Original Link

      Drama = Soft Next. Your way or the highway, if she has a problem with it she’s free to leave and you’re cool with losing her because you have abundance. That’s the best way to handle it, really. Check my archive or Blackdragon’s stuff for how to properly Soft Next.

      But I’m not totally opposed to rules. Keep in mind, because any guy reading this is going “LOL U MORAN U THINK SHE WONT BREAK TEH RULES??? LOLOL”, that ya obviously she might break the rules…but knowing there ARE rules can be what swings her back off the edge of the fence if they trigger her ASD at the last second and make her put up just a bit more LMR than the guy knows how to deal with because she feels guilty.

      But say you end up in an oLTR where she wants to be allowed to go play around too and you don’t see a way out of it because you want your own free reign on pussy and don’t want to lose her, but she’s pushing for rules and you don’t want to go the Soft Next route.

      In that scenario, consider that you can intelligently craft the rules to your advantage. Stick this one out, it’s worth it I swear…I’ve been working with my buddy I’m coaching on this because that’s his scenario lol:

      What do we know leads to long-term attraction? Well, Comfort and Rapport obviously…so Time is a factor in getting those. Also we know oxytocin is released during sex and bonds people, so having sex with the same person mutliple times, especially in a short time-frame, complete with cuddling/dates/texting/etc is basically allowing oxytocin to pile up and build long-term attraction. And what leads to the intial Attraction in the first place, stuff like Social Proof (the guy being high-value in her social circle) and familiarity…and how do MOST guys pick up girls? Do they do it through Cold Approach? Fuck no, it’s too hard and scary…they do it through social circle game. They bang chicks they’ve known for a bit.

      So there’s a shitload of the factors that would make a girl “fall in love” with a dude. For a guy it’s different, we don’t give a shit who she is or where she came from: Is she hot? Yes? Then we want to fuck her. And if we already have a Primary girl at home then we probably don’t care if we fuck this other girl more than a few times here and there because we’re looking for other girls and we don’t want them to fall in love with us and complicate our lives.

      So compare those two mindsets, and then imagine what would happen if the rules for your oLTR that you and your girl agree upon involve stuff like this:

      1) No sex with people we already know or people in our social circles…because we don’t want them to judge us or judge how solid our relationship is. I don’t want to go to a bar and have some guy rubbing in my face when he’s drunk that he had sex with you, and you wouldn’t want to run into a girl I’ve had sex with and have her being catty with you. So only new people that we don’t know.

      2) No dating. Only sex. No daily texting, no romantic dinners and movies and cuddling under the stars together all night. If we want to do that stuff, we have eachother for that because we should always be more important to eachother than other people are to us. No forming a deep relationship, this is for sex only, neither of us want to lose eachother to some random. You wouldn’t want me to be texting sweet things to some other girl all day and building a relationship with her that you have to compete with.

      3) Your partner ALWAYS comes first. No cancelling plans with eachother for someone else and if we need something, we tell the other person sorry we can’t make it something came up. There’s no putting randoms ahead of eachother because we are eachother’s priority. You wouldn’t want me to cancel on our dinner plans to go hook up with some chick from the bar.

      4) We have to tell the other person we’re in a relationship. They have to know that they’re not dealing with a single person, because we want them to understand that our partner comes first and not to try to break us up and force us to deal with a bunch of drama. You wouldn’t want some girl trying to take me from you.

      5) No seeing the same person more than once every 2 weeks maximum. No multiple nights in a row or sleepovers or 3x a week hooking up. Your partner should be your primary and if you need sex from other people THAT often then clearly there’s something wrong with the relationship and maybe we should consider ending it entirely. This isn’t a second relationship, this is someone to play with on the side now and then for variety.

      So if you take these rules and break them down, who exactly can she bang? She can bang a guy she doesn’t know (already not very attractive to her, compared to guys she’s known in her social circle for a while who she knows have high-value), who cold approaches her (which is basically NO guys except some sloppy drunk bar losers now and then with shitty game that’ll just make her miss you more), who plows through knowing she has a boyfriend (most guys will be scared off by this, plus her telling them will help trigger her own ASD/guilt), plus because she can’t go on dinner dates and shit which is where normal guys build all their Attraction most guys won’t be able to go from “hello” to “let’s fuck” without that middle piece because most guys aren’t learning to do that like we are so you’re neutering his game too…and EVEN if she does find a guy to bang, she’s not going to bang him enough to build deep long-term attraction and he’s going to find her schedule/rules inconvenient and probably give up quick.

      So while those rules SOUND decent to her during the discussion, because you phrase everything as how she could lose you if you don’t follow those rules, they actually severely limit her options to basically either unappealing/unattractive options or options that are phenomenally rare for her to encounter.

      But how do those rules affect YOU? You don’t technically have to follow them because whatever, but say you want to be a noble dude and stick to your word or maybe you’re still new enough that you might feel guilty etc., then let’s look at how do these rules really limit you? They DO restrain you a little, which is why I’m not a fan of this approach, but what real restraint is there?:

      Do you want to bang girls in your social circle anyway? Nah, they’ve probably banged your buddies or would create too much drama, and you’re a cool social guy who meets new girls and macks on them anyway off cold approach, so you can go find new girls you don’t know just like you’ve been doing. So Rule 1 doesn’t affect you. Do you want to date and go to romantic dinners and lay under the stars with some super casual one night stand or casual fuckbuddy? No, eff all that, you already have a GF to get that shit from and don’t want to blow your money, and don’t HAVE to do any of that to get laid, so Rule 2 doesn’t affect you. Rule 3 might lose you a date or two, but 90% of the time the girl you flake on just gets more attracted because you blew her off esp blowing her off for another woman, so Rule 3 doesn’t affect you. Is telling a girl you have a girlfriend REALLY going to discourage most girls? Ask any guy who wears a wedding ring to a bar lol This is the one where you COULD lose some girls at first until you learn how to hold your frame that it’s no big deal and even casually drop that you have an “open thing” where you’re allowed to play on your own time but no falling in love with you bla bla push/pull and you can do this when you first meet them or right before you have sex when she’s too turned on to not want to still bang you etc. So this one might blow you out at first as you learn to calibrate, but down the road Rule 4 isn’t going to affect you at all. And finally you don’t want to see girls every damn night ’cause you’re a guy with shit to do and a Primary GF already, and you don’t want these girls to fall in love with you, so Rule 5 doesn’t affect you either.

      So with these rules who CAN you still bang? You can pick up random girls at the bar or online, have some causal fun with them, and toss them back to replace them with more…except oh wait, that’s what you’ve been doing ANYWAY. lol

      So with some strategic thinking and understanding how game works, you can create rules that limit her entirely and leave you free to pretty much do as you please, while she still feels like she has open choice on her end (because she doesn’t understand how attraction works the way we do).

      Now this isn’t the best approach, because once you verbalize rules and everything you’re verbalizing the whole thing a lot more and the less you openly address it the better…plus even giving her rules kind of implies that you’re worried another man might win her over which automatically means you view other men as a threat so it’s already kind of shooting yourself in the foot a bit…and if you choose to actually stand by the rules yourself you do limit yourself slightly compared to having total free reign.

      And in your particular situation, you want to be free to fall in love and all that feel-good shit, so you may have to tweak things or break/bend the rules on your end to justify going on romantic dates with girls and all.

      But in your particular situ, where the girl needs rules, and you’re stuck verbalizing the whole thing…this is a decent way of keeping control.

      If she breaks the rules, she breaks the rules, you can’t stop her from doing that…but the good part about rules is that you can punish her for breaking them. She might sext with a guy while you’re cuddled up in bed one night, breaking the rules, but if you catch her you can immediately HARDCORE Soft Next her (exactly how Blackdragon explains to do it) for like a month as punishment and be pretty much guaranteed that when you allow her back into your life she will never break the rules again.


  • Cucks on the loose
    on September 18, 2014 at 1:17 am
    Original Link

    YaReally bringing it, again. There’s so much good shit in there even from a regular pick up/LTR point of view that most guys would benefit from.

    Try and post more often dude.. helps to focus on the right stuff.. kinda distracting when ZS is blathering on for 20 posts abt who the fuck knows what!


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 2:16 am
      Original Link

      @kant
      Huge reply to you in mod about setting rules, watch for it when CH approves. I’m helping a buddy who’s going through a similar situ to you right now.

      @Cucks on the loose
      “Try and post more often dude..”

      Busy getting my shit together financially/career-wise right now so I haven’t been able to write much. Spent most of my 20s and the first bit of my 30s on pickup to the detriment of my finances and health, so now it’s time to get the other parts of my life on track. I haven’t even had time to go out as much because I’m working my ass off so I’m down to like 1 night out every 2-3 weeks right now.

      That’s also why all my posts including this next part I just re-read are just incoherent rants even by my standards lol I haven’t written for a while:

      Some guys would read what I just wrote and say “lololz see YaReally, u dumbass we told you you would have to work at some point and quit being a bum and now u can’t even go out lololz” but it’s like ya, I fuckin’ already knew that lol I always knew I’d have to hyperfocus on career stuff after hyperfocusing on pickup. I just know that you can make money at any point in your life. Guys past 35-40 who settle down have nothing to do *BUT* make money. That’s literally their life every day. But pickup is a lot easier to learn in your 20s than in your 30s.

      So most guys focusing on their career in their 20s work retarded hours at it and either have to fuck an ugly girlfriend (hi, Zuckerberg!) that’s getting fatter by the day and who’s hassling them for ignoring her (and possibly cheating on them because they’re stressed out and Feminism taught them that a GF wants to hear them express their stressed feelings (lol)), till she isn’t putting out anymore. And because the guy doesn’t have the time or skill to go get new girls efficiently or maintain a harem, they’re basically going dry till they’re a success in their 30s (banking on finally becoming a doctor leading to a magic land of pussy…ask all the doctors/lawyers/etc. I know who don’t get laid because they’re still beta at their core how that one worked out) and then they have to play catch-up with their pickup skills (’cause you aren’t going out enough to learn pickup while you’re also working hard on a career) and try to learn pickup in their 30s when going to bars to gather massive reference experiences is more intimidating and on TOP of that they also have to unwire an extra 10 years of shitty wiring/beliefs and make up for 10 years less reference experience with women.

      Doesn’t sound like a real appealing life plan to me, personally…but I’m alright with not being the CEO of a fortune 500 company lol

      Compare that to my situation: I got to bang the fuck out of a ton of girls in my 20s, have a fucking blast, build rock-solid core confidence (which is helping me get shit done in my career) and now that I’m focusing on my career my work day involves putting in retarded hours like the other guy did, but I can have fuckbuddies over to bang on my breaks and they are, of course, MORE attracted and eager to get my attention now that my time is super limited (and I give less fucks if I lose them because it means I can get more work done, so I have total outcome independence which is also more attractive)..one of them (23yo with fake titties) was literally begging this week to be allowed to bring me food on my break, blow me, and leave so I can get back to work lol And I maintain that harem because I know not to cry & moan about how stressed I am and just tell them I’m handling my shit like a boss instead. And if I need new girls I can shoot out some Tinder texts (I very purposely live near a campus in a major city so Tinder has hotter girls for me than someone living out in some shithole in the burbs) and escalate to a lay without having to go on dates ’cause of my pickup skills, or go out for a night with a buddy and collect a few phone numbers and/or pull a new girl and add her to the harem.

      So I’m basically getting laid a few times a week by girls in their prime and these girls are demanding to come over and bang me with no real time investment on my end (instead of begging a fat drama-filled girlfriend for an unenthusiastic blowjob or going on boring 6 hour dinner/movie dates full of LMR) while I play catch-up working on my career and a year from now when I start to get back on my feet again I can shake my slightly-dusty pickup skills off and get back to chasing pussy but balance it with paying my bills.

      So I dunno, it’s cool if guys choose the first path. That’s the route society told us to take and I mean, that’s how a guy becomes a rich CEO making 6-figures (and possibly ending up paying women to fuck him, ’cause remember he was too busy working to really immerse himself in game enough to learn how to run harems and oLTRs and consistently cold approach and bang women off the first meet and shit)…

      …but personally I’m pretty happy with my choices lol

      Ultimately I think a period of hyperfocus is important when you first find pickup. I don’t necessarily recommend going at it for as long and as hard (lol) as I went at it ’cause you don’t really NEED to to have a satisfying enough sex life, I just happened to enjoy it as a hobby and wanted to take it as far as possible (and I’m still not there yet in my mind, lots of personal pickup goals left to resume chasing when I get my finances handled).

      Like I think it’s good to stay (or get) on track with your career and health at the same time, like Scray hitting the gym as he’s learning pickup is a good idea and you shouldn’t be going into class exhausted from being up all night every day etc…buuuuuuut I would say that if you want to REALLY handle it quickly and get really good at game, it’s okay to let that other shit slide for a few years and hyperfocus on pickup. You can ALWAYS start eating healthier and hitting the gym again, and you can ALWAYS get back to making money, those are slow long-term projects and you have all the time in the world to work on them…but if you go out hardcore you could nail your pickup skillset down in anywhere from 1-5 years depending on how fucked up you were when you started and from then on never really have to worry about sex or relationships or attracting women again while you do your other shit.

      And yes I’m aware this was all me qualifying myself, god I’m so beta lol


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 3:55 pm
      Original Link

      @Sentient
      Solid advice. Young guys should give that a read.

      I would also add that all those experiences a guy spends living life will teach him a lot of shit about self-reliance, problem-solving, social-dynamics, networking, etc. that will benefit him down the road when he DOES decide to take up an actual career. A lot of my friends who are objectively probably smarter than me, fold like a house of cards whenever things don’t go according to plan. The delusional confidence I’ve built up through pickup keeps me going no matter what life throws at me lol



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 17, 2014 at 4:49 pm
Original Link

lol…

No one wants the type of oLTR CH is describing. There are communities and shit for that style (swinger parties and all) but from what I’ve seen generally in those relationships either the man is low value or the woman AND man are low value. They pride themselves weirdly on the whole thing because it’s like saying “we know we’re unattractive but look how much people want to fuck us and look at this unique thing we’re doing outside of society’s norms that we hope makes up for our blatant lack of value”. It’s the same reason most of the BDSM community that goes to clubs for it aren’t all sexy ppl, they’re like 90% a bunch of fatass gross people lol I suspect a lot of the guys have some level of homosexuality/cuckolding in them to get off on hearing all the details etc. (hi, Shane!) Most of us don’t want that lol

So toss all that shit out from the start. This article is basically like looking at a McDonald’s menu and saying “ordering food from restaraunts is gross and unhealthy.”

I deal with this shit all the time when I talk to guys IRL about oLTRs. The first thing they ALL say is “I dunno man, I don’t think I could handle knowing my girl is sucking like 12 dicks a weekend with guys blowing their load all over her face and then she kisses me”. Because they only meet the same type of people CH has met who embrace that kind of thing, so they think that’s what an oLTR is. A lot of that crap that’s out in society with all the labels and shit is the same as martial arts schools that teach you a bunch of “monkey fist 3-finger back-stance” poses. It’s stupid impractical shit. I don’t even really know what the definitions of polyamory and polygamy and polygnous mean…because none of that shit is actually important to making this stuff work. Same way you don’t need the monkey fist back-stance in a fight, you just need to know how to throw a fucking punch right…all that swingers club shit is for a weird sub-group of people that none of us want to be.

Why haven’t people like CH met a bunch of the better types of oLTRs? Because to make an oLTR work you have to be fucking DISCREET. You don’t advertise it all over the fucking place because it triggers the girl’s ASD and a ton of social pressure and it blows it up. That’s why those people join those little communities, so they can meet people who won’t judge them but it spirals from there because the guys are too pussy to lay down rules and the girls go along with what the other girls do. This is also why Gene Simmons fucked his oLTR up, ’cause he did a reality show and basically rubbed it in everyone’s face and then when the vid of him with a chick hit the press it’s too much social pressure and ASD and his chick had to whip him into marrying her. Dude fucked himself over.

Anyway, so what guys really want are either:

1) a one-sided oLTR where they get to fuck as many women as they want and not have to hide anything, and their girl participates in 3-somes with those girls and them, and their girl doesn’t fuck anyone else, only them.

Or if they can’t pull that off but still REALLY want the freedom to bang whoever they want and get stuck having to have a two-sided oLTR, then they want:

2) a two-sided oLTR where they get to fuck sa many women as they want but need to be relatively discreet and their girl is allowed to bang other dudes but they don’t want to hear any of the details and there are a bunch of rules established to keep those guys from being a threat, and she has to take a bath in a pool of disinfectant for like a week after. lol

Ironically, the only real difference between the two is the guy’s mindset and belief in his own value. Most guys WANT #1 but they’re too chickenshit to try it and have too much scarcity being afraid to lose the girl and they don’t believe they can pull it off. Most of the guys who end up in #2 COULD’VE had #1 if they had believed in their worth and felt a little bit more “entitled” (aka having a healthy understanding of just how much value they really bring to the table).

I’ve covered how to set them up and the mindsets you need and shit a bunch before:

http://yareallyarchive.com/search/?q=oLTR

But here’s the lowdown again of how oLTRs work and why one-sided oLTRs don’t work the way most people think (ie – the girls don’t go out and suck 400 dicks and come home covered in jizz). It’s the exact same concept behind why “girls like players” except extrapolated to way higher stakes:

– Hypergamy = women want the highest value male she thinks she can obtain, any male who’s lower value than that man is the same as a 400lbs girl is to us

– High-value male = a guy who’s attractive to a lot of women

– oLTR = both people can theoretically bang whoever they’re attracted to

Put that formula together and what do you get? Women end up only wanting to fuck their man (Hypergamy), and being cool with him fucking other women (this reinforces that he’s a high-value male because it shows that he’s attractive to a lot of women, so she’s actually MORE attracted to you because you’re confirming how high-value you are), because other men are literally less attractive to them (equivalent to 400lbs girls).

If I put you in a relationship with a 10/10, your dream hottie, and I told you can fuck ANY fat chick you want. ANY of them. You can fuck 400 of them in a weekend if you want, as long as they’re at least 300lbs each. Are you going to go fuck a bunch of them? No. You’re going to wait for that 10/10 to put out and keep trying to win her over because those other girls repulse you.

IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME THING. lol women feel exactly the same repulsion you would feel ditching your 10/10 for a 300lbs fatty, if they ditched their 10/10 man for any man of lower value. It is a socially conditioned limiting belief and cognitive dissonance that allows men to believe in Hypergamy and understand my 300lbs fat girls example but not accept that it works the same way in reverse.

The biggest reason men can’t pull this off and either won’t try it or will fuck it up, is that they’re still socially conditioned to believe that the rich outgoing 6’4″ handsome doctor is higher value than them. They think this because they’re looking at “what does society value? (looks money etc.)” and not “what do women value? (the emotions you make them feel)”.

So in the back of their heads they think “well, sure, an oLTR would be nice…and ya I get this whole “Hypergamy” thing, but like, but like, say she went to her office party and her BOSS his on her…and he’s a good looking guy and he’s rich!! AND I told her she COULD bang him!!! So she’s going to fuck him and then bang him every day and I’ll have to taste his boss-jizz when I kiss her OMG OMG OMG”

…does that sound like the headspace of a guy who TRULY believes he’s a 10/10? And TRULY (even delusionally) believes he’s higher-value than every other man in the world?

No. That’s the headspace of a guy who’s girl will end up fucking her boss. Because it’ll be in his subcommunications that he views other men as a threat.

Why does that affect things? Because another pickup rule we all understand is “what you feel, she feels”. If you feel like your opener is lame, so will she. If you feel like your gay fuzzy hat is the coolest thing in the world, so will she. Women ping off their environment to know how to feel. So she’s pinging off you to know whether her boss (or any other men she may meet in her life) are higher value than you or not.

Ask that homeless pickup guy in that video someone linked whether other guys are more attractive to women than him and he’ll lol in your face. He sleeps on the street but he’s convinced himself beyond delusion that he’s attractive as fuck and women want to fuck him. Naturals have a delusional sense of their high-value. Every Natural who’s legit good with women can acknowledge that other men can be attractive or cool, but in the back of their heads they add “…but I’M more attractive/cool lol”

Literally, in my delusional mind, if George Clooney and Brad Pitt in their prime walked into the room and hit on my girl it would be funny because they’re cool guys but lol seriously guys come on now, how do you expect to take my girl, I’m cooler than you guys and I fuck her better than you could lol Those are the actual thought-loops going through my head. Even if she’s FLIRTING with them, it’s a lol to me because I know they couldn’t actually get her (objectively maybe they could, but in my mind they can’t, and she’s pinging off me to know whether they can or not). Hell, in my mind it’s better to LET her flirt with them a bit because then they’ll fuck up and she’ll see they aren’t the perfect flawless guys she envisioned in her head when they fail one of her shit-tests and I’ll pick her up over my shoulder and take her home to bang her proper (with punishment for flirting of course).

Most guys who get into pickup come from a lifetime of shitty social conditioning that tells them they’re not good enough and they should compare themselves based on exteneral shit like looks and money to other men to determine their value. So this haunts most guys the rest of their life. Because they believe it, their girls believe it.

The reason these oLTRs fail is because the guy either goes into them feeling insecure instead of delusionally confident, or because they started out as the highest-value guy when they initiated the oLTR but over time they let themselves fall off-purpose and let themselves go and started feeling less attractive…Bob at the office got a new Ferrari and they feel insecure that they don’t have one. Their wife gets hit on at the bar by some good-looking dude and they look at him with puppy-dog eyes scared that he might be able to bang her. They stop taking care of their health or get stuck in a shitty job they hate that eats away at their soul and they start crying to their woman all the time about how hard life is when they aren’t laying on the couch watching reality TV.

They BECOME lower-value…and once they become lower-value, and start seeing other guys as higher-value, now their girl sees those guys as higher-value too, so the oLTR becomes a cuckold situation because they can’t get girls anymore and they’ve turned into the equivalent of a 400lbs girl to their girls while her boss looks like the badass alpha go-getter she should be fucking.

So if you’re going to do an oLTR, you have to make it a rule in your life, and swear to yourself, that you will ALWAYS be on your purpose and working toward self-improvement and being your best self. You don’t get to slack off and become Joe up the street sitting around with his loser buddies smoking pot and playing poker and scarfing down unhealthy shit to numb the pain of the dead-end jobs they hate but got stuck in because they have no ambition, while complaining to his buddies about how his wife’s boss keeps hitting on her. That guy’s oLTR girl will go suck 12 dicks that weekend.

You don’t get the luxury of letting yourself become low-value. You can for very small periods, if she’s been with you for a while, but you don’t get to dwell. If something bad happens, you feel bad for yourself for a few days and then you get back on the horse and push through and succeed and become better than you were.

The funny part is that you should want that for yourself in GENERAL. Just as a man, you should WANT to always be improving yourself and be on your purpose and working toward solidifying your internals and doing exciting things with your life instead of watching reality TV (which is basically watching OTHER people do BARELY more interesting things with their life, is there any activity LOWER value than that?? jesus…at least cheering for a sports team you’re cheering for athletes who are tearing shit up, but when you’re watching fucking Real World, you are watching losers being slightly less lame than people who watch their show).

So to summarize:

One-sided oLTR is totally possible. But you have to 1) have a strong frame that it’s not selfish and it’s the natural way things should work, 2) always strive to be high-value, 3) BELIEVE that you’re high-value, and 4) it’s a lot easier to maintain an oLTR than it is to turn a relationship INTO an oLTR (that means hit the ground running with it when you meet her, don’t wait till you two are in a dead bedroom marriage to try it).

I’m legit considering writing a book on the topic because I think men need to understand that this is an option and how to execute it, but I’m still young and working out the kinks in my approach to it, and Blackdragon already wrote some and that dude knows his shit so I highly recommend his books and reading his forum posts around the net. He’s the guy who broke down the Soft Next rules I always link to:

http://www.haveopenrelationships.com/

http://www.open-marriage.com/

I’m helping coach a buddy into an oLTR right now ’cause he wants to keep banging girls while settling with his girl ’cause she’s quality and he wants kids but he’s horny and doesn’t want to fully settle yet, so I’ve had to discuss this shit a bunch recently. His biggest problem is that he’s still viewing other men as high-value (he’s a minority race so he’s been brought up to view himself as lower value that white ppl (hi racists! His LTR is a white chick too lol)) and that mindset is exactly what’s going to tank him, so we’re working on his internal confidence right now doing stuff like introducing hot girls to good-looking dudes at the bar to watch the guys crash and burn and putting him into mixed sets to take the girls etc. so he gets over the idea that these guys are all super pimps just ’cause they have socially approved external attributes lol I told him not to pitch the oLTR for a while, ’cause he’s also moving around for work right now and he needs to wait till he knows he’s going to be settled in an area with lots of pussy…you can’t have an oLTR when you live out in the suburbs and work 100 hour weeks not interacting with women, ’cause you can’t maintain your skills with women (which makes your subcomms worse and makes it harder to maintain your internal confidence that you can get women). Gotta’ be in a position where you’ll be able to flirt with other girls regularly and feel like you could get them.


  • kant
    on September 17, 2014 at 10:27 pm
    Original Link

    My favorite of my mLTRs wants to lay down rules (like Blackdragon said would happen in his book). I don’t want any rules, like I want to be able to fall in love with other girls if I want or whatever, but I’m not sure how make my frame strong enough to get past this. I’ve been kicking the can down the road but at some point drama might ensue. Any advice? Blackdragon’s book is pretty light on what to do when she comes back with her demands


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 1:20 am
      Original Link

      Drama = Soft Next. Your way or the highway, if she has a problem with it she’s free to leave and you’re cool with losing her because you have abundance. That’s the best way to handle it, really. Check my archive or Blackdragon’s stuff for how to properly Soft Next.

      But I’m not totally opposed to rules. Keep in mind, because any guy reading this is going “LOL U MORAN U THINK SHE WONT BREAK TEH RULES??? LOLOL”, that ya obviously she might break the rules…but knowing there ARE rules can be what swings her back off the edge of the fence if they trigger her ASD at the last second and make her put up just a bit more LMR than the guy knows how to deal with because she feels guilty.

      But say you end up in an oLTR where she wants to be allowed to go play around too and you don’t see a way out of it because you want your own free reign on pussy and don’t want to lose her, but she’s pushing for rules and you don’t want to go the Soft Next route.

      In that scenario, consider that you can intelligently craft the rules to your advantage. Stick this one out, it’s worth it I swear…I’ve been working with my buddy I’m coaching on this because that’s his scenario lol:

      What do we know leads to long-term attraction? Well, Comfort and Rapport obviously…so Time is a factor in getting those. Also we know oxytocin is released during sex and bonds people, so having sex with the same person mutliple times, especially in a short time-frame, complete with cuddling/dates/texting/etc is basically allowing oxytocin to pile up and build long-term attraction. And what leads to the intial Attraction in the first place, stuff like Social Proof (the guy being high-value in her social circle) and familiarity…and how do MOST guys pick up girls? Do they do it through Cold Approach? Fuck no, it’s too hard and scary…they do it through social circle game. They bang chicks they’ve known for a bit.

      So there’s a shitload of the factors that would make a girl “fall in love” with a dude. For a guy it’s different, we don’t give a shit who she is or where she came from: Is she hot? Yes? Then we want to fuck her. And if we already have a Primary girl at home then we probably don’t care if we fuck this other girl more than a few times here and there because we’re looking for other girls and we don’t want them to fall in love with us and complicate our lives.

      So compare those two mindsets, and then imagine what would happen if the rules for your oLTR that you and your girl agree upon involve stuff like this:

      1) No sex with people we already know or people in our social circles…because we don’t want them to judge us or judge how solid our relationship is. I don’t want to go to a bar and have some guy rubbing in my face when he’s drunk that he had sex with you, and you wouldn’t want to run into a girl I’ve had sex with and have her being catty with you. So only new people that we don’t know.

      2) No dating. Only sex. No daily texting, no romantic dinners and movies and cuddling under the stars together all night. If we want to do that stuff, we have eachother for that because we should always be more important to eachother than other people are to us. No forming a deep relationship, this is for sex only, neither of us want to lose eachother to some random. You wouldn’t want me to be texting sweet things to some other girl all day and building a relationship with her that you have to compete with.

      3) Your partner ALWAYS comes first. No cancelling plans with eachother for someone else and if we need something, we tell the other person sorry we can’t make it something came up. There’s no putting randoms ahead of eachother because we are eachother’s priority. You wouldn’t want me to cancel on our dinner plans to go hook up with some chick from the bar.

      4) We have to tell the other person we’re in a relationship. They have to know that they’re not dealing with a single person, because we want them to understand that our partner comes first and not to try to break us up and force us to deal with a bunch of drama. You wouldn’t want some girl trying to take me from you.

      5) No seeing the same person more than once every 2 weeks maximum. No multiple nights in a row or sleepovers or 3x a week hooking up. Your partner should be your primary and if you need sex from other people THAT often then clearly there’s something wrong with the relationship and maybe we should consider ending it entirely. This isn’t a second relationship, this is someone to play with on the side now and then for variety.

      So if you take these rules and break them down, who exactly can she bang? She can bang a guy she doesn’t know (already not very attractive to her, compared to guys she’s known in her social circle for a while who she knows have high-value), who cold approaches her (which is basically NO guys except some sloppy drunk bar losers now and then with shitty game that’ll just make her miss you more), who plows through knowing she has a boyfriend (most guys will be scared off by this, plus her telling them will help trigger her own ASD/guilt), plus because she can’t go on dinner dates and shit which is where normal guys build all their Attraction most guys won’t be able to go from “hello” to “let’s fuck” without that middle piece because most guys aren’t learning to do that like we are so you’re neutering his game too…and EVEN if she does find a guy to bang, she’s not going to bang him enough to build deep long-term attraction and he’s going to find her schedule/rules inconvenient and probably give up quick.

      So while those rules SOUND decent to her during the discussion, because you phrase everything as how she could lose you if you don’t follow those rules, they actually severely limit her options to basically either unappealing/unattractive options or options that are phenomenally rare for her to encounter.

      But how do those rules affect YOU? You don’t technically have to follow them because whatever, but say you want to be a noble dude and stick to your word or maybe you’re still new enough that you might feel guilty etc., then let’s look at how do these rules really limit you? They DO restrain you a little, which is why I’m not a fan of this approach, but what real restraint is there?:

      Do you want to bang girls in your social circle anyway? Nah, they’ve probably banged your buddies or would create too much drama, and you’re a cool social guy who meets new girls and macks on them anyway off cold approach, so you can go find new girls you don’t know just like you’ve been doing. So Rule 1 doesn’t affect you. Do you want to date and go to romantic dinners and lay under the stars with some super casual one night stand or casual fuckbuddy? No, eff all that, you already have a GF to get that shit from and don’t want to blow your money, and don’t HAVE to do any of that to get laid, so Rule 2 doesn’t affect you. Rule 3 might lose you a date or two, but 90% of the time the girl you flake on just gets more attracted because you blew her off esp blowing her off for another woman, so Rule 3 doesn’t affect you. Is telling a girl you have a girlfriend REALLY going to discourage most girls? Ask any guy who wears a wedding ring to a bar lol This is the one where you COULD lose some girls at first until you learn how to hold your frame that it’s no big deal and even casually drop that you have an “open thing” where you’re allowed to play on your own time but no falling in love with you bla bla push/pull and you can do this when you first meet them or right before you have sex when she’s too turned on to not want to still bang you etc. So this one might blow you out at first as you learn to calibrate, but down the road Rule 4 isn’t going to affect you at all. And finally you don’t want to see girls every damn night ’cause you’re a guy with shit to do and a Primary GF already, and you don’t want these girls to fall in love with you, so Rule 5 doesn’t affect you either.

      So with these rules who CAN you still bang? You can pick up random girls at the bar or online, have some causal fun with them, and toss them back to replace them with more…except oh wait, that’s what you’ve been doing ANYWAY. lol

      So with some strategic thinking and understanding how game works, you can create rules that limit her entirely and leave you free to pretty much do as you please, while she still feels like she has open choice on her end (because she doesn’t understand how attraction works the way we do).

      Now this isn’t the best approach, because once you verbalize rules and everything you’re verbalizing the whole thing a lot more and the less you openly address it the better…plus even giving her rules kind of implies that you’re worried another man might win her over which automatically means you view other men as a threat so it’s already kind of shooting yourself in the foot a bit…and if you choose to actually stand by the rules yourself you do limit yourself slightly compared to having total free reign.

      And in your particular situation, you want to be free to fall in love and all that feel-good shit, so you may have to tweak things or break/bend the rules on your end to justify going on romantic dates with girls and all.

      But in your particular situ, where the girl needs rules, and you’re stuck verbalizing the whole thing…this is a decent way of keeping control.

      If she breaks the rules, she breaks the rules, you can’t stop her from doing that…but the good part about rules is that you can punish her for breaking them. She might sext with a guy while you’re cuddled up in bed one night, breaking the rules, but if you catch her you can immediately HARDCORE Soft Next her (exactly how Blackdragon explains to do it) for like a month as punishment and be pretty much guaranteed that when you allow her back into your life she will never break the rules again.


  • Cucks on the loose
    on September 18, 2014 at 1:17 am
    Original Link

    YaReally bringing it, again. There’s so much good shit in there even from a regular pick up/LTR point of view that most guys would benefit from.

    Try and post more often dude.. helps to focus on the right stuff.. kinda distracting when ZS is blathering on for 20 posts abt who the fuck knows what!


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 2:16 am
      Original Link

      @kant
      Huge reply to you in mod about setting rules, watch for it when CH approves. I’m helping a buddy who’s going through a similar situ to you right now.

      @Cucks on the loose
      “Try and post more often dude..”

      Busy getting my shit together financially/career-wise right now so I haven’t been able to write much. Spent most of my 20s and the first bit of my 30s on pickup to the detriment of my finances and health, so now it’s time to get the other parts of my life on track. I haven’t even had time to go out as much because I’m working my ass off so I’m down to like 1 night out every 2-3 weeks right now.

      That’s also why all my posts including this next part I just re-read are just incoherent rants even by my standards lol I haven’t written for a while:

      Some guys would read what I just wrote and say “lololz see YaReally, u dumbass we told you you would have to work at some point and quit being a bum and now u can’t even go out lololz” but it’s like ya, I fuckin’ already knew that lol I always knew I’d have to hyperfocus on career stuff after hyperfocusing on pickup. I just know that you can make money at any point in your life. Guys past 35-40 who settle down have nothing to do *BUT* make money. That’s literally their life every day. But pickup is a lot easier to learn in your 20s than in your 30s.

      So most guys focusing on their career in their 20s work retarded hours at it and either have to fuck an ugly girlfriend (hi, Zuckerberg!) that’s getting fatter by the day and who’s hassling them for ignoring her (and possibly cheating on them because they’re stressed out and Feminism taught them that a GF wants to hear them express their stressed feelings (lol)), till she isn’t putting out anymore. And because the guy doesn’t have the time or skill to go get new girls efficiently or maintain a harem, they’re basically going dry till they’re a success in their 30s (banking on finally becoming a doctor leading to a magic land of pussy…ask all the doctors/lawyers/etc. I know who don’t get laid because they’re still beta at their core how that one worked out) and then they have to play catch-up with their pickup skills (’cause you aren’t going out enough to learn pickup while you’re also working hard on a career) and try to learn pickup in their 30s when going to bars to gather massive reference experiences is more intimidating and on TOP of that they also have to unwire an extra 10 years of shitty wiring/beliefs and make up for 10 years less reference experience with women.

      Doesn’t sound like a real appealing life plan to me, personally…but I’m alright with not being the CEO of a fortune 500 company lol

      Compare that to my situation: I got to bang the fuck out of a ton of girls in my 20s, have a fucking blast, build rock-solid core confidence (which is helping me get shit done in my career) and now that I’m focusing on my career my work day involves putting in retarded hours like the other guy did, but I can have fuckbuddies over to bang on my breaks and they are, of course, MORE attracted and eager to get my attention now that my time is super limited (and I give less fucks if I lose them because it means I can get more work done, so I have total outcome independence which is also more attractive)..one of them (23yo with fake titties) was literally begging this week to be allowed to bring me food on my break, blow me, and leave so I can get back to work lol And I maintain that harem because I know not to cry & moan about how stressed I am and just tell them I’m handling my shit like a boss instead. And if I need new girls I can shoot out some Tinder texts (I very purposely live near a campus in a major city so Tinder has hotter girls for me than someone living out in some shithole in the burbs) and escalate to a lay without having to go on dates ’cause of my pickup skills, or go out for a night with a buddy and collect a few phone numbers and/or pull a new girl and add her to the harem.

      So I’m basically getting laid a few times a week by girls in their prime and these girls are demanding to come over and bang me with no real time investment on my end (instead of begging a fat drama-filled girlfriend for an unenthusiastic blowjob or going on boring 6 hour dinner/movie dates full of LMR) while I play catch-up working on my career and a year from now when I start to get back on my feet again I can shake my slightly-dusty pickup skills off and get back to chasing pussy but balance it with paying my bills.

      So I dunno, it’s cool if guys choose the first path. That’s the route society told us to take and I mean, that’s how a guy becomes a rich CEO making 6-figures (and possibly ending up paying women to fuck him, ’cause remember he was too busy working to really immerse himself in game enough to learn how to run harems and oLTRs and consistently cold approach and bang women off the first meet and shit)…

      …but personally I’m pretty happy with my choices lol

      Ultimately I think a period of hyperfocus is important when you first find pickup. I don’t necessarily recommend going at it for as long and as hard (lol) as I went at it ’cause you don’t really NEED to to have a satisfying enough sex life, I just happened to enjoy it as a hobby and wanted to take it as far as possible (and I’m still not there yet in my mind, lots of personal pickup goals left to resume chasing when I get my finances handled).

      Like I think it’s good to stay (or get) on track with your career and health at the same time, like Scray hitting the gym as he’s learning pickup is a good idea and you shouldn’t be going into class exhausted from being up all night every day etc…buuuuuuut I would say that if you want to REALLY handle it quickly and get really good at game, it’s okay to let that other shit slide for a few years and hyperfocus on pickup. You can ALWAYS start eating healthier and hitting the gym again, and you can ALWAYS get back to making money, those are slow long-term projects and you have all the time in the world to work on them…but if you go out hardcore you could nail your pickup skillset down in anywhere from 1-5 years depending on how fucked up you were when you started and from then on never really have to worry about sex or relationships or attracting women again while you do your other shit.

      And yes I’m aware this was all me qualifying myself, god I’m so beta lol


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 3:55 pm
      Original Link

      @Sentient
      Solid advice. Young guys should give that a read.

      I would also add that all those experiences a guy spends living life will teach him a lot of shit about self-reliance, problem-solving, social-dynamics, networking, etc. that will benefit him down the road when he DOES decide to take up an actual career. A lot of my friends who are objectively probably smarter than me, fold like a house of cards whenever things don’t go according to plan. The delusional confidence I’ve built up through pickup keeps me going no matter what life throws at me lol



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

wolfie65
on September 17, 2014 at 6:53 pm
Original Link

Everyone I have come across who described themselves as ‘polyamorous’ was a fug weirdo to the max, many of them were also Wiccans, Druids or some other born-again Neo-Pagan religion,, which most of the time seems to translate into ‘gay’.
Don’t get me wrong, nothing against real Pagans, but these people…well, see 1st paragraph.


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 12:41 am
    Original Link

    Ya, this is part of that whole “wanting to make up for being low value by having some out there identity that makes them special” thing. No one but my close buddies knows I do oLTRs. I’m single right now (just running a normal harem) but when I’m in an oLTR none of my girls’ friends have any clue they’re in an oLTR with me. From their point of view they just see a happy monogamous couple, she calls me her boyfriend, I call her my girlfriend, nobody has a clue what’s going on. We aren’t running around calling ourselves polywhatever and spouting a bunch of feel-good bullshit about it.

    It’s between her and I, and my discretion is to keep the judgemental social pressure off her to avoid triggering her ASD. That’s why it works. That’s the key right there.

    Time and time again I’ve run into or seen buddies run into the situation where the girl herself was TOTALLY FINE with being monogamous while her man played the field. 100% okay with it…until word spilled because buddy was a dumbass and bragged about it to a mutual friend in their social circle while drinking etc., and her friends and family found out, and again while SHE was totally fine with it, now all the pressure of “How could he do that to you! What a jerk!” “omg he’s abusing you and you don’t even realize it” “omg don’t you respect yourself??” “wow I could never do that, he’s probably going to leave you soon” etc. comes down from all her nosy-ass friends who judge her.

    And even tho she was TOTALLY FINE with it…NOW she feels like she has to drop a “be monogamous or I can’t do this anymore” ultimatum, to save face and get the social pressure off of her and escape all the judgement she’s facing.

    Like I say, the successful oLTRs (esp the one-sided ones where only the guy fucks other girls and the girl only fucks him or fucks girls with him) are the ones you will never realize are happening.



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

wolfie65
on September 17, 2014 at 6:53 pm
Original Link

Everyone I have come across who described themselves as ‘polyamorous’ was a fug weirdo to the max, many of them were also Wiccans, Druids or some other born-again Neo-Pagan religion,, which most of the time seems to translate into ‘gay’.
Don’t get me wrong, nothing against real Pagans, but these people…well, see 1st paragraph.


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 12:41 am
    Original Link

    Ya, this is part of that whole “wanting to make up for being low value by having some out there identity that makes them special” thing. No one but my close buddies knows I do oLTRs. I’m single right now (just running a normal harem) but when I’m in an oLTR none of my girls’ friends have any clue they’re in an oLTR with me. From their point of view they just see a happy monogamous couple, she calls me her boyfriend, I call her my girlfriend, nobody has a clue what’s going on. We aren’t running around calling ourselves polywhatever and spouting a bunch of feel-good bullshit about it.

    It’s between her and I, and my discretion is to keep the judgemental social pressure off her to avoid triggering her ASD. That’s why it works. That’s the key right there.

    Time and time again I’ve run into or seen buddies run into the situation where the girl herself was TOTALLY FINE with being monogamous while her man played the field. 100% okay with it…until word spilled because buddy was a dumbass and bragged about it to a mutual friend in their social circle while drinking etc., and her friends and family found out, and again while SHE was totally fine with it, now all the pressure of “How could he do that to you! What a jerk!” “omg he’s abusing you and you don’t even realize it” “omg don’t you respect yourself??” “wow I could never do that, he’s probably going to leave you soon” etc. comes down from all her nosy-ass friends who judge her.

    And even tho she was TOTALLY FINE with it…NOW she feels like she has to drop a “be monogamous or I can’t do this anymore” ultimatum, to save face and get the social pressure off of her and escape all the judgement she’s facing.

    Like I say, the successful oLTRs (esp the one-sided ones where only the guy fucks other girls and the girl only fucks him or fucks girls with him) are the ones you will never realize are happening.



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 17, 2014 at 7:27 pm
Original Link

Approve my shit plz.


  • walawala
    on September 17, 2014 at 9:11 pm
    Original Link

    @YaReally looking forward to reading it.


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 12:34 am
      Original Link

      Thanks to CH for the approve



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 17, 2014 at 7:27 pm
Original Link

Approve my shit plz.


  • walawala
    on September 17, 2014 at 9:11 pm
    Original Link

    @YaReally looking forward to reading it.


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 12:34 am
      Original Link

      Thanks to CH for the approve



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Z.
on September 17, 2014 at 8:45 pm
Original Link

“One party to the “creatively ambiguous” polyamory agreement is getting the metaphorical shaft, and the other the actual shaft. The shafted is typically, but not always, the male”

I have two anecdotes, beside myself who was in an open relationship before (best of my life). And in both of these the male did not get shafted.

Case 1.

A young attractive couple in their 20s. The wife was happy in monogamy, the husband not. He was a virgin at marriage and perhaps felt it had missed out or something. He wanted more sex and different kinds of sex then his wife did. But more than anything he was young, testosterone-filled and craved variety. She caught him cheating. When found out, he proposed open marriage. Perhaps he was afraid she would otherwise divorce him, I don’t know. One thing is for sure, he did not want to give up seeing this other woman. So the wife thought about it and relunctantly agreed.

Anyway, they were both interning under this acupuncturist and together the couple approached him and explained their situation and the husband said, “my wife would like to date you and you have my blessings.”

So the wife started dating the acupuncturist while the husband was seeing any woman who would give him the time of day. Basically he was dumpster diving with skanks and baby mamas, while his beautiful wife was seeing this very successful acupuncturist.

Oh, did I mention the husband didn’t have a steady job?

Anyway, the wife and this acupuncturist start working together. He starts mentoring her in business and finances and she really starts to blossom. Need I mention that she starts falling in love as well?

The husband starts to get jealous over all the time she’s spending with the “doctor”. She’s surprised. After all, wasn’t he the one who cheated and wanted to be open in the first place? Did he really expect her to allow him to see other women while she sat alone pining at home?

Anyway, eventually they divorced. After the divorce the wife proposed marriage to the acupuncturist but he turned her down because he didn’t want kids (she has 2 by her husband).

Both of them are now single. Being a single mom isn’t easy but she manages pretty well.

The children are really upset that their parents are not living together.

Case 2:

A young and attractive pregnant woman finds out her husband is cheating on her. Heartbroken, devastated, she confronts him. “How could you do this to me when I’m carrying your child inside me?!?!?!”

She becomes depressed.

The husband begs forgiveness but proposes open marriage.

She does not agree but eventually out of fear of losing him, agrees.

Like in the first case he starts seeing a variety of women. He’s known in the local music scene so meeting women is pretty easy for him.

The wife is at home with a newborn baby. She’s not out on the prowl but keeps in mind that the possibility for her to meet other men is there for the taking, if she so chooses. I guess this thought helps her sleep at night.

Anyway, as the baby grows a little older she involves herself with one man for a few months but it doesn’t go anywhere. Her husbands absence at home and his marijuana habit when he is home, combined with his lack of providing properly for his baby wears away at her. She has to shoulder the bulk of the finances while he’s out playing guitar, smoking pot and shagging other women.

She divorces him.

Now she’s married to a younger, hotter, tighter man who takes his husbandly and fatherly duties very seriously while her considerably older ex-husband is still screwing around with crazy chicks.

They remain on friendly terms though, for the sake of their child. She also has two more children by the younger, newer model husband.


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 12:34 am
    Original Link

    Notice the pattern. In both of these situations the guys turned a relationship from monogamous to open, which is already a tough move (you can go from open to monogamous easily, the girl feels like she’s won you over…to go from monogamous to open makes the girl feel like there’s something wrong with her or the relationship in general), then on top of it the guys let their value drop and actively indicated to the girl that other men’s value was higher.

    This is basically just really fuckin’ sloppy handling of setting up a working oLTR lol And like I explained in my long post, all of that shit there is a recipe for disaster.

    Once you enter an oLTR, you don’t get to let your value drop. An oLTR is basically banking on being able to satisfy her Hypergamy till you fully settle down. If you can’t lose your job at the office and get the news that your dad is dead and see some dude at the bar hit on your wife all on the same day and STILL believe you’re the highest-value guy she can get and that you offer more than all those guys and that you’ll be back on the horse plowing through life toward recovering from your setbacks within a week, you probably shouldn’t do an oLTR.


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 3:48 pm
      Original Link

      @Joachim Peiper
      “Serious question, are you capable of loving anyone?”

      Only Amy.

      I love all my girls, but I love them like I’d love a dog: wonderful creatures that I love and take care of, but I’m always fully aware that if they get hungry or angry enough they’re capable of ripping my fuckin’ leg off lol


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 9:17 pm
      Original Link

      @Thoroughbred
      “Serious question Amy… Does he make you tingle?”

      If that feeling in your stomach before you barf up your dinner counts as tingles then I’d say the answer is yes.



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Z.
on September 17, 2014 at 8:45 pm
Original Link

“One party to the “creatively ambiguous” polyamory agreement is getting the metaphorical shaft, and the other the actual shaft. The shafted is typically, but not always, the male”

I have two anecdotes, beside myself who was in an open relationship before (best of my life). And in both of these the male did not get shafted.

Case 1.

A young attractive couple in their 20s. The wife was happy in monogamy, the husband not. He was a virgin at marriage and perhaps felt it had missed out or something. He wanted more sex and different kinds of sex then his wife did. But more than anything he was young, testosterone-filled and craved variety. She caught him cheating. When found out, he proposed open marriage. Perhaps he was afraid she would otherwise divorce him, I don’t know. One thing is for sure, he did not want to give up seeing this other woman. So the wife thought about it and relunctantly agreed.

Anyway, they were both interning under this acupuncturist and together the couple approached him and explained their situation and the husband said, “my wife would like to date you and you have my blessings.”

So the wife started dating the acupuncturist while the husband was seeing any woman who would give him the time of day. Basically he was dumpster diving with skanks and baby mamas, while his beautiful wife was seeing this very successful acupuncturist.

Oh, did I mention the husband didn’t have a steady job?

Anyway, the wife and this acupuncturist start working together. He starts mentoring her in business and finances and she really starts to blossom. Need I mention that she starts falling in love as well?

The husband starts to get jealous over all the time she’s spending with the “doctor”. She’s surprised. After all, wasn’t he the one who cheated and wanted to be open in the first place? Did he really expect her to allow him to see other women while she sat alone pining at home?

Anyway, eventually they divorced. After the divorce the wife proposed marriage to the acupuncturist but he turned her down because he didn’t want kids (she has 2 by her husband).

Both of them are now single. Being a single mom isn’t easy but she manages pretty well.

The children are really upset that their parents are not living together.

Case 2:

A young and attractive pregnant woman finds out her husband is cheating on her. Heartbroken, devastated, she confronts him. “How could you do this to me when I’m carrying your child inside me?!?!?!”

She becomes depressed.

The husband begs forgiveness but proposes open marriage.

She does not agree but eventually out of fear of losing him, agrees.

Like in the first case he starts seeing a variety of women. He’s known in the local music scene so meeting women is pretty easy for him.

The wife is at home with a newborn baby. She’s not out on the prowl but keeps in mind that the possibility for her to meet other men is there for the taking, if she so chooses. I guess this thought helps her sleep at night.

Anyway, as the baby grows a little older she involves herself with one man for a few months but it doesn’t go anywhere. Her husbands absence at home and his marijuana habit when he is home, combined with his lack of providing properly for his baby wears away at her. She has to shoulder the bulk of the finances while he’s out playing guitar, smoking pot and shagging other women.

She divorces him.

Now she’s married to a younger, hotter, tighter man who takes his husbandly and fatherly duties very seriously while her considerably older ex-husband is still screwing around with crazy chicks.

They remain on friendly terms though, for the sake of their child. She also has two more children by the younger, newer model husband.


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 12:34 am
    Original Link

    Notice the pattern. In both of these situations the guys turned a relationship from monogamous to open, which is already a tough move (you can go from open to monogamous easily, the girl feels like she’s won you over…to go from monogamous to open makes the girl feel like there’s something wrong with her or the relationship in general), then on top of it the guys let their value drop and actively indicated to the girl that other men’s value was higher.

    This is basically just really fuckin’ sloppy handling of setting up a working oLTR lol And like I explained in my long post, all of that shit there is a recipe for disaster.

    Once you enter an oLTR, you don’t get to let your value drop. An oLTR is basically banking on being able to satisfy her Hypergamy till you fully settle down. If you can’t lose your job at the office and get the news that your dad is dead and see some dude at the bar hit on your wife all on the same day and STILL believe you’re the highest-value guy she can get and that you offer more than all those guys and that you’ll be back on the horse plowing through life toward recovering from your setbacks within a week, you probably shouldn’t do an oLTR.


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 3:48 pm
      Original Link

      @Joachim Peiper
      “Serious question, are you capable of loving anyone?”

      Only Amy.

      I love all my girls, but I love them like I’d love a dog: wonderful creatures that I love and take care of, but I’m always fully aware that if they get hungry or angry enough they’re capable of ripping my fuckin’ leg off lol


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 9:17 pm
      Original Link

      @Thoroughbred
      “Serious question Amy… Does he make you tingle?”

      If that feeling in your stomach before you barf up your dinner counts as tingles then I’d say the answer is yes.



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

kant
on September 17, 2014 at 9:56 pm
Original Link

CH, open relationships are great. I have three mLTRs and I’ve told them all explicitly at this point that I have other women I date, even brought two together for a threesome once. They won’t leave because I’m more alpha than any other man in their lives.

I’ve fucked four new girls in September so far (total girls, at least ten). How many total men have my mLTRs fucked? I don’t know (I tell them I don’t want to know), but I’m willing to bet the number isn’t very high — women simply don’t go out looking to get fucked when they are already getting regular dick a couple of times a week.


  • Will
    on September 17, 2014 at 11:24 pm
    Original Link

    Psh, @kant what types of girls do you have ‘open relationships’ with? Are they sluts? Do they have tattoos?

    I’m just curious because in my experience…the high smv girls are not really down to just have some casual sex for 2+ months with a guy that says he’s seeing other girls. The high smv girl just finds another somewhat alpha to have fun with.

    And usually what happens is she’ll see your initiating with her as weakness. So when you start ‘hitting her up’ she’ll think oh he’s in a position of weakness cause his other girls aren’t there I don’t want to be the last resort etc


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 4:20 pm
      Original Link

      “the high smv girls are not really down to just have some casual sex for 2+ months”

      You’re right, they’re not really down to just have some casual sex for 2+ months…with YOU.

      “And usually what happens is she’ll see your initiating with her as weakness. So when you start ‘hitting her up’ she’ll think oh he’s in a position of weakness cause his other girls aren’t there”

      It IS weakness. Why are you initiating with her? Why are you “hitting her up”? You should have other girls on the go and not care.

      “The high smv girl just finds another somewhat alpha to have fun with.”

      What actually happens is the high SMV girls test you harder. They go date some other guy (or make one up lol) and go radio silent on you to see how you’ll react. If you text her or try to initiate, you lose. If you forget about her and just wait it out (it can take anywhere from weeks to months, I had one that took a year lol) eventually she goes “wow, I can’t believe he hasn’t tried to contact me…” and start dangling herself in front of you again, at which point you can play hard to get and turn down any offers to meet up that require any effort on your part whatsoever until you can say “ya I’ll be at Bar on Fri around 10.” and she can show up in person to try to dangle herself in front of you there, and then you just take her home.

      The problem is most guys, as you’re demonstrating, cave as soon as they haven’t heard from her in a couple weeks and they try to reinitiate and show their hand so she assumes they don’t have other girls ’cause if they did they wouldn’t care.

      It has nothing to do with the girl herself, it has to do with how you react to her. The exact same girl that turns you down because you re-initiated is chasing some more alpha dude around who’s telling her to go away because she’s annoying him.

      Girls is girls is girls, despite what Amy’s ASD will try to convince you of.

      “It takes a certain type of girl to do that.”

      This is why they won’t do it with you. Because you have a judgemental madonna/whore complex that they can pick up on (they learn to detect that when they’re in their teens and first realize that some people will think they’re slutty whores for expressing their sexual side).

      kant and I see girls as all the same, that’s why they let their sexual side out around us and do stuff like double-teaming him and his buddy, but they won’t do it with you. Your mindsets are too fucked and you’re too proud of them because you consider yourself and the imaginary unicorn girls you love as superior to “those other girls/guys”.

      You won’t get access to this side of girls until you fix these mindsets, and you won’t fix these mindsets because you don’t want to. You enjoy telling yourself that these other guys that other guys get are all riff-raff sluts with tattoos and daddy issues. Same shit Amy and feminists do. Same shit the neckbeard virgin nerd scoffing at the red pill does. It’s just hamster rationalization.

      @kant
      “I hate to argue with people online because it is pointless, but for the sake of newbies reading this, you are completely wrong.”

      Yup, agreed.

      “High SMV doesn’t make girls less slutty, it just makes them better at hiding it. Girls are girls, there is ZERO difference.”

      This. So much this. High SMV also scares off a LOT of guys with the right attitude to make them feel comfortable expressing that slutty side. Like the guy who will treat a 6 like shit and in a fit of self-amusement try to escalate as fast as possible and have her get gangbanged by his buddies, but around a 9 he’ll switch to trying to be a gentleman and impress her and treat her like a delicate flower and not run the same type of game he ran on the 6. So that 9 doesn’t even get the same opportunities the 6 does and she knows people would be more judgemental of a 9 having a train run on her than a 6 so she’ll hide it better…but underneath girls are girls and she’s the same as the 6.

      “forgot to mention, what you have is madonna / whore complex. It’s strangely extremely strong even in the manosphere.”

      Yup. I don’t even want to get into why it’s such a bigger deal in the Manosphere than the PUA community lol but it’s a mindset that’s holding a lot of guys back and I notice the Manosphere likes to promote it as a good mindset which is a shame for the guys learning from only the Manosphere.



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

kant
on September 17, 2014 at 9:56 pm
Original Link

CH, open relationships are great. I have three mLTRs and I’ve told them all explicitly at this point that I have other women I date, even brought two together for a threesome once. They won’t leave because I’m more alpha than any other man in their lives.

I’ve fucked four new girls in September so far (total girls, at least ten). How many total men have my mLTRs fucked? I don’t know (I tell them I don’t want to know), but I’m willing to bet the number isn’t very high — women simply don’t go out looking to get fucked when they are already getting regular dick a couple of times a week.


  • Will
    on September 17, 2014 at 11:24 pm
    Original Link

    Psh, @kant what types of girls do you have ‘open relationships’ with? Are they sluts? Do they have tattoos?

    I’m just curious because in my experience…the high smv girls are not really down to just have some casual sex for 2+ months with a guy that says he’s seeing other girls. The high smv girl just finds another somewhat alpha to have fun with.

    And usually what happens is she’ll see your initiating with her as weakness. So when you start ‘hitting her up’ she’ll think oh he’s in a position of weakness cause his other girls aren’t there I don’t want to be the last resort etc


    • YaReally
      on September 18, 2014 at 4:20 pm
      Original Link

      “the high smv girls are not really down to just have some casual sex for 2+ months”

      You’re right, they’re not really down to just have some casual sex for 2+ months…with YOU.

      “And usually what happens is she’ll see your initiating with her as weakness. So when you start ‘hitting her up’ she’ll think oh he’s in a position of weakness cause his other girls aren’t there”

      It IS weakness. Why are you initiating with her? Why are you “hitting her up”? You should have other girls on the go and not care.

      “The high smv girl just finds another somewhat alpha to have fun with.”

      What actually happens is the high SMV girls test you harder. They go date some other guy (or make one up lol) and go radio silent on you to see how you’ll react. If you text her or try to initiate, you lose. If you forget about her and just wait it out (it can take anywhere from weeks to months, I had one that took a year lol) eventually she goes “wow, I can’t believe he hasn’t tried to contact me…” and start dangling herself in front of you again, at which point you can play hard to get and turn down any offers to meet up that require any effort on your part whatsoever until you can say “ya I’ll be at Bar on Fri around 10.” and she can show up in person to try to dangle herself in front of you there, and then you just take her home.

      The problem is most guys, as you’re demonstrating, cave as soon as they haven’t heard from her in a couple weeks and they try to reinitiate and show their hand so she assumes they don’t have other girls ’cause if they did they wouldn’t care.

      It has nothing to do with the girl herself, it has to do with how you react to her. The exact same girl that turns you down because you re-initiated is chasing some more alpha dude around who’s telling her to go away because she’s annoying him.

      Girls is girls is girls, despite what Amy’s ASD will try to convince you of.

      “It takes a certain type of girl to do that.”

      This is why they won’t do it with you. Because you have a judgemental madonna/whore complex that they can pick up on (they learn to detect that when they’re in their teens and first realize that some people will think they’re slutty whores for expressing their sexual side).

      kant and I see girls as all the same, that’s why they let their sexual side out around us and do stuff like double-teaming him and his buddy, but they won’t do it with you. Your mindsets are too fucked and you’re too proud of them because you consider yourself and the imaginary unicorn girls you love as superior to “those other girls/guys”.

      You won’t get access to this side of girls until you fix these mindsets, and you won’t fix these mindsets because you don’t want to. You enjoy telling yourself that these other guys that other guys get are all riff-raff sluts with tattoos and daddy issues. Same shit Amy and feminists do. Same shit the neckbeard virgin nerd scoffing at the red pill does. It’s just hamster rationalization.

      @kant
      “I hate to argue with people online because it is pointless, but for the sake of newbies reading this, you are completely wrong.”

      Yup, agreed.

      “High SMV doesn’t make girls less slutty, it just makes them better at hiding it. Girls are girls, there is ZERO difference.”

      This. So much this. High SMV also scares off a LOT of guys with the right attitude to make them feel comfortable expressing that slutty side. Like the guy who will treat a 6 like shit and in a fit of self-amusement try to escalate as fast as possible and have her get gangbanged by his buddies, but around a 9 he’ll switch to trying to be a gentleman and impress her and treat her like a delicate flower and not run the same type of game he ran on the 6. So that 9 doesn’t even get the same opportunities the 6 does and she knows people would be more judgemental of a 9 having a train run on her than a 6 so she’ll hide it better…but underneath girls are girls and she’s the same as the 6.

      “forgot to mention, what you have is madonna / whore complex. It’s strangely extremely strong even in the manosphere.”

      Yup. I don’t even want to get into why it’s such a bigger deal in the Manosphere than the PUA community lol but it’s a mindset that’s holding a lot of guys back and I notice the Manosphere likes to promote it as a good mindset which is a shame for the guys learning from only the Manosphere.



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Sentient
on September 18, 2014 at 11:09 am
Original Link

Looking for some strategies from the assembled on dealing with the aggressive cockblock… an area of weakness that needs improvement. So how could this situation below be salvaged, if at all?

during the summer, out on the street on Friday night in a major city. It is about 12AM. I am hanging out watching the scene. Taxis pulling up all over the street and throngs of 7,8,9 girls getting out. Very dressed up. I see a bunch keep going into this one place so I go in to check it out. Velvet rope, doormen with headsets kind of place. I roll up, just wearing a polo shirt and pants. Guy waves me on in no problem. It is a split level place, fancy restaurant upstairs, chill upscale lounge downstairs.

Go to the lounge, place is really perfect. Not too dark, not too loud, not too crowded, not expensive (LOL) at all, good drinks and just pods of hot girls, some groups some with guys. Amazing place really. I am hanging by the bar, see two hot girls come in with three older dudes and hang at a table. The one that looks like NFL AM host Erin Coscarelli (middle below) gives me a look, she is a solid 8. Call her “erin” for this post. She is hanging with a younger blond girl, like the one on the left below.

They stay not long and split. Shit I am thinking. Still hanging when an hour or so later they come back. She is close to me now so I open. we start having a good conversation. she is sitting on a stool, I am standing to her right, my back to the bar, her friend is sitting to her left.. Get things going through the “bean farmer” routine, then develop some really deep rapport with “you have PGS – pretty girl syndrome, it must suck your friends are jealous of you and judge you etc. she is totally eating it up. She is leaning into me, whispering in my left ear. My hands are on her legs, then on her waist. at one point she looks me in the eye and says “you’re pretty handsy huh”, I just look at her and shrug. she seems to eat this up. Sexy vibe going…

Her friend is getting hit on by a chode, and she keeps eye coding “Erin” and trying to get her attention. I tease her about this saying “I think your friend is trying to save you from me” with a smirk. She rolls her eyes and says “Nah I think she is jealous, I think she wants to do me…” DING DING DING, sexualized convo ahead. Deep rapport continues. Now her friend, the blonde cockblock gets really agitated and pulls Erin’s stool toward her a few inches… I keep up the kino and conversation and slide her back toward me. eventually the blonde grabs her arm, really physically and says let’s go we need to go upstairs and pulls her off the stool. Erin looks back at me and says come meet me upstairs. So I shrug, go to pay my tab and head up to continue.

Get up front to the stairs to go up, they are both standing there, but now upstairs is closed. It’s like 2 AM now. I start to re-engage with Erin when the cockblock grabs the bouncer (who was a very nice guy in a suit, middle aged, short fat dude – no aggro bouncer at all) and says to him “we don’t want to talk to this guy!” He kind of rolls his eyes and gives me a soft almost pleading “Sir – the ladies say they don’t want to talk to you…” Erin is quiet at this point. I am pretty surprised, like LOL and WTF! I have nothing n my bag to break out so I just chalk it up to a learning experience. Shrug, laugh and say yeah sure… amble off. Fuck.

So any tips on dealing first with the cockblock and then once things got to the bouncer stage…?


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 4:40 pm
    Original Link

    Not shitting on you but I’m in a rush today so I don’t have time to sugar-coat anything lol You did good, you just fucked up working the group. We’ve all done it, it’s hard to remember to work the group dynamics when a hottie is up in your grill lol here’s a breakdown of where you effed up for the future:

    “Her friend is getting hit on by a chode, and she keeps eye coding “Erin” and trying to get her attention. I tease her about this saying “I think your friend is trying to save you from me” with a smirk. She rolls her eyes and says “Nah I think she is jealous, I think she wants to do me…” DING DING DING, sexualized convo ahead. Deep rapport continues. Now her friend, the blonde cockblock gets really agitated and pulls Erin’s stool toward her a few inches… I keep up the kino and conversation and slide her back toward me. eventually the blonde grabs her arm, really physically and says let’s go we need to go upstairs and pulls her off the stool. Erin looks back at me and says come meet me upstairs. So I shrug, go to pay my tab and head up to continue.

    The fuck was all this?? You ignored her BFF then tooled her BFF and then competed with her BFF for her, and then were surprised when the BFF didn’t approve of you?? lol Calibrate that shit yo.

    You got too blinded by the prize to see the rest of the game and so you got nothing but a fun memory and blueballs. :)

    “Her friend is getting hit on by a chode, and she keeps eye coding “Erin” and trying to get her attention.”

    This is where you SAVE HER FRIEND lol You scare the chode off and ideally introduce her to someone cooler so she isn’t stuck as the third wheel. Instead of saving her and showing how badass calibrated you are, you actively kept her friend from saving her and let her just get tortured while also demonstrating that you’re either too dumb to read when a girl needs saving, too lame to get rid of a chode in a cool way, or actively being mean to her by making her suffer.

    So there’s strike 1.

    “Now her friend, the blonde cockblock gets really agitated and pulls Erin’s stool toward her a few inches…”

    She’s saying hey I’m bored being your third wheel and not having fun, how about engaging me?

    And do you start a group conversation and demonstrate to her that you’re a cool guy and have a few laughs (at the same time creating a jealousy plotline between them and showing your girl you’re cool enough to interact with her friend and flirt with her a bit too), so that the cockblock eventually bails on you two and hopes you hook up?

    Nope, you:

    “I keep up the kino and conversation and slide her back toward me.”

    Now I know it felt badass, and it’s a funny story and everything…and it feels good to win the girl from a cockblocking friend. But at the end of the day she’s known her friend longer than she’s known you so she’s going to choose her friend over you, and you aren’t getting anything without the friend’s approval in a 2-set.

    Now this just makes you look gropey/selfish/annoying because there’s no way you could be missing the signs that her friend isn’t having any of you, so now you’re actively coming off like a jerk…your girl loves it, but the BFF is hating you more and more with each moment.

    “eventually the blonde grabs her arm, really physically and says let’s go we need to go upstairs and pulls her off the stool. Erin looks back at me and says come meet me upstairs.”

    This kind of thing is where you need to take a step back and go “ok the one girl loves me, but this other one HATES me…how can I solve this problem?”

    If you had just saved her from the chode earlier or engaged her more instead of being a horny dog with a boner humping her friend’s leg, she would probably have given you guys her blessing to go bang.

    Calibrate, calibrate, calibrate.

    “Erin is quiet at this point. I am pretty surprised, like LOL and WTF!”

    Hopefully you’re not surprised anymore after this breakdown lol This is a totally predictable and expected result from the formula you executed. It would surprise me if this DIDN’T happen, like if you said “and then Erin was like I like him let’s let him come with us” and we all left together, I would be mindblown. She’s not going to flip the bird to her friend for some random guy who’s actively been a dick to her friend…that’s bringing so much drama into her life.

    “So any tips on dealing first with the cockblock and then once things got to the bouncer stage…?”

    Ya, befriend the friends (classic Mystery Method group theory style) and don’t GET to the stage where things go to a bouncer lol



The Ugly Reality Of Open Relationships

Original Link

via Heartiste

Sentient
on September 18, 2014 at 11:09 am
Original Link

Looking for some strategies from the assembled on dealing with the aggressive cockblock… an area of weakness that needs improvement. So how could this situation below be salvaged, if at all?

during the summer, out on the street on Friday night in a major city. It is about 12AM. I am hanging out watching the scene. Taxis pulling up all over the street and throngs of 7,8,9 girls getting out. Very dressed up. I see a bunch keep going into this one place so I go in to check it out. Velvet rope, doormen with headsets kind of place. I roll up, just wearing a polo shirt and pants. Guy waves me on in no problem. It is a split level place, fancy restaurant upstairs, chill upscale lounge downstairs.

Go to the lounge, place is really perfect. Not too dark, not too loud, not too crowded, not expensive (LOL) at all, good drinks and just pods of hot girls, some groups some with guys. Amazing place really. I am hanging by the bar, see two hot girls come in with three older dudes and hang at a table. The one that looks like NFL AM host Erin Coscarelli (middle below) gives me a look, she is a solid 8. Call her “erin” for this post. She is hanging with a younger blond girl, like the one on the left below.

They stay not long and split. Shit I am thinking. Still hanging when an hour or so later they come back. She is close to me now so I open. we start having a good conversation. she is sitting on a stool, I am standing to her right, my back to the bar, her friend is sitting to her left.. Get things going through the “bean farmer” routine, then develop some really deep rapport with “you have PGS – pretty girl syndrome, it must suck your friends are jealous of you and judge you etc. she is totally eating it up. She is leaning into me, whispering in my left ear. My hands are on her legs, then on her waist. at one point she looks me in the eye and says “you’re pretty handsy huh”, I just look at her and shrug. she seems to eat this up. Sexy vibe going…

Her friend is getting hit on by a chode, and she keeps eye coding “Erin” and trying to get her attention. I tease her about this saying “I think your friend is trying to save you from me” with a smirk. She rolls her eyes and says “Nah I think she is jealous, I think she wants to do me…” DING DING DING, sexualized convo ahead. Deep rapport continues. Now her friend, the blonde cockblock gets really agitated and pulls Erin’s stool toward her a few inches… I keep up the kino and conversation and slide her back toward me. eventually the blonde grabs her arm, really physically and says let’s go we need to go upstairs and pulls her off the stool. Erin looks back at me and says come meet me upstairs. So I shrug, go to pay my tab and head up to continue.

Get up front to the stairs to go up, they are both standing there, but now upstairs is closed. It’s like 2 AM now. I start to re-engage with Erin when the cockblock grabs the bouncer (who was a very nice guy in a suit, middle aged, short fat dude – no aggro bouncer at all) and says to him “we don’t want to talk to this guy!” He kind of rolls his eyes and gives me a soft almost pleading “Sir – the ladies say they don’t want to talk to you…” Erin is quiet at this point. I am pretty surprised, like LOL and WTF! I have nothing n my bag to break out so I just chalk it up to a learning experience. Shrug, laugh and say yeah sure… amble off. Fuck.

So any tips on dealing first with the cockblock and then once things got to the bouncer stage…?


  • YaReally
    on September 18, 2014 at 4:40 pm
    Original Link

    Not shitting on you but I’m in a rush today so I don’t have time to sugar-coat anything lol You did good, you just fucked up working the group. We’ve all done it, it’s hard to remember to work the group dynamics when a hottie is up in your grill lol here’s a breakdown of where you effed up for the future:

    “Her friend is getting hit on by a chode, and she keeps eye coding “Erin” and trying to get her attention. I tease her about this saying “I think your friend is trying to save you from me” with a smirk. She rolls her eyes and says “Nah I think she is jealous, I think she wants to do me…” DING DING DING, sexualized convo ahead. Deep rapport continues. Now her friend, the blonde cockblock gets really agitated and pulls Erin’s stool toward her a few inches… I keep up the kino and conversation and slide her back toward me. eventually the blonde grabs her arm, really physically and says let’s go we need to go upstairs and pulls her off the stool. Erin looks back at me and says come meet me upstairs. So I shrug, go to pay my tab and head up to continue.

    The fuck was all this?? You ignored her BFF then tooled her BFF and then competed with her BFF for her, and then were surprised when the BFF didn’t approve of you?? lol Calibrate that shit yo.

    You got too blinded by the prize to see the rest of the game and so you got nothing but a fun memory and blueballs. :)

    “Her friend is getting hit on by a chode, and she keeps eye coding “Erin” and trying to get her attention.”

    This is where you SAVE HER FRIEND lol You scare the chode off and ideally introduce her to someone cooler so she isn’t stuck as the third wheel. Instead of saving her and showing how badass calibrated you are, you actively kept her friend from saving her and let her just get tortured while also demonstrating that you’re either too dumb to read when a girl needs saving, too lame to get rid of a chode in a cool way, or actively being mean to her by making her suffer.

    So there’s strike 1.

    “Now her friend, the blonde cockblock gets really agitated and pulls Erin’s stool toward her a few inches…”

    She’s saying hey I’m bored being your third wheel and not having fun, how about engaging me?

    And do you start a group conversation and demonstrate to her that you’re a cool guy and have a few laughs (at the same time creating a jealousy plotline between them and showing your girl you’re cool enough to interact with her friend and flirt with her a bit too), so that the cockblock eventually bails on you two and hopes you hook up?

    Nope, you:

    “I keep up the kino and conversation and slide her back toward me.”

    Now I know it felt badass, and it’s a funny story and everything…and it feels good to win the girl from a cockblocking friend. But at the end of the day she’s known her friend longer than she’s known you so she’s going to choose her friend over you, and you aren’t getting anything without the friend’s approval in a 2-set.

    Now this just makes you look gropey/selfish/annoying because there’s no way you could be missing the signs that her friend isn’t having any of you, so now you’re actively coming off like a jerk…your girl loves it, but the BFF is hating you more and more with each moment.

    “eventually the blonde grabs her arm, really physically and says let’s go we need to go upstairs and pulls her off the stool. Erin looks back at me and says come meet me upstairs.”

    This kind of thing is where you need to take a step back and go “ok the one girl loves me, but this other one HATES me…how can I solve this problem?”

    If you had just saved her from the chode earlier or engaged her more instead of being a horny dog with a boner humping her friend’s leg, she would probably have given you guys her blessing to go bang.

    Calibrate, calibrate, calibrate.

    “Erin is quiet at this point. I am pretty surprised, like LOL and WTF!”

    Hopefully you’re not surprised anymore after this breakdown lol This is a totally predictable and expected result from the formula you executed. It would surprise me if this DIDN’T happen, like if you said “and then Erin was like I like him let’s let him come with us” and we all left together, I would be mindblown. She’s not going to flip the bird to her friend for some random guy who’s actively been a dick to her friend…that’s bringing so much drama into her life.

    “So any tips on dealing first with the cockblock and then once things got to the bouncer stage…?”

    Ya, befriend the friends (classic Mystery Method group theory style) and don’t GET to the stage where things go to a bouncer lol



Accidental Alpha Game

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via Heartiste

walawala
on September 8, 2014 at 1:10 pm
Original Link

I banged 9 girls this year…every one was into being spanked. The one I’m banging now in my “mini harem” is 26 and a bondage freak. I spanked her with a belt that left lines on her ass. She loved it.

The idea here is that it’s not something openly discussed. You have to just do it…and see how to amp it up.

My crazy ex gf loved being tied up, spanked and banged hard.

My go to text with her was “Spank you hard” instead of “Hey what’s up?”

But it requires two things: 1) an understanding of what turns them on…not just smacking them around but slapping their ass, tits and face. 2) knowing how hard to do it and how to amp it up…you start slow, alternate with kissing then smack hard.

With bondage queen we worked ourselves up so much I banged her twice….we were both speechless after…couldn’t talk.


  • YaReally
    on September 8, 2014 at 4:48 pm
    Original Link

    Was gonna respond to this sharing my own experiences but I just don’t want another dozen ZombieShane “buns in the oven” replies to sift through when I come back to try to have a discussion. Fucking ridiculous that this shit is still going on.



Accidental Alpha Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on September 8, 2014 at 1:10 pm
Original Link

I banged 9 girls this year…every one was into being spanked. The one I’m banging now in my “mini harem” is 26 and a bondage freak. I spanked her with a belt that left lines on her ass. She loved it.

The idea here is that it’s not something openly discussed. You have to just do it…and see how to amp it up.

My crazy ex gf loved being tied up, spanked and banged hard.

My go to text with her was “Spank you hard” instead of “Hey what’s up?”

But it requires two things: 1) an understanding of what turns them on…not just smacking them around but slapping their ass, tits and face. 2) knowing how hard to do it and how to amp it up…you start slow, alternate with kissing then smack hard.

With bondage queen we worked ourselves up so much I banged her twice….we were both speechless after…couldn’t talk.


  • YaReally
    on September 8, 2014 at 4:48 pm
    Original Link

    Was gonna respond to this sharing my own experiences but I just don’t want another dozen ZombieShane “buns in the oven” replies to sift through when I come back to try to have a discussion. Fucking ridiculous that this shit is still going on.



Alpha Male Of The Month

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 5, 2014 at 6:05 pm
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I’ll just leave these here. Dude is 5 feet tall but his body language and tonality is better than 90% of the tall good-looking chodes I see at the bar:


  • Karmageddon
    on September 5, 2014 at 6:59 pm
    Original Link

    Dude is making the best of what he was given. But do you get the sense they’re into him or simply using him for short term entertainment?


    • YaReally
      on September 6, 2014 at 10:52 am
      Original Link

      It would take actively letting up on the gas, stepping on the brake, or just complete brain-fart retardation for someone to get 80% of the way around a race track and not be able to cross the finish line.



Alpha Male Of The Month

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on September 5, 2014 at 6:05 pm
Original Link

I’ll just leave these here. Dude is 5 feet tall but his body language and tonality is better than 90% of the tall good-looking chodes I see at the bar:


  • Karmageddon
    on September 5, 2014 at 6:59 pm
    Original Link

    Dude is making the best of what he was given. But do you get the sense they’re into him or simply using him for short term entertainment?


    • YaReally
      on September 6, 2014 at 10:52 am
      Original Link

      It would take actively letting up on the gas, stepping on the brake, or just complete brain-fart retardation for someone to get 80% of the way around a race track and not be able to cross the finish line.



Alpha Male Of The Month

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via Heartiste

Nathan
on September 5, 2014 at 6:49 pm
Original Link

Yo YaReally,

Ive read other people hit you up about this.

Whats the resource for hitting on THE HOTTEST girls. Not shit 6-7’s, 9’s.

I’m in my 20’s, in shape. Good height


  • YaReally
    on September 6, 2014 at 10:43 am
    Original Link

    “Whats the resource for hitting on THE HOTTEST girls. Not shit 6-7’s, 9’s.”

    Indirect Mystery Method (despite how cool it is to make fun of Mystery now and call MM over-thinking it etc., MM is a phenomenally rock-solid understanding of female/group/social psychology and is built for hooking the hottest girls not average ones, and hooking them to the point where they’re in love and obsessed with you not just into you enough to let you stick your dick in them) + building huge social circles + being the social connector (throwing parties and merging social circles together) + having prime logistics (living 5 min away from party venues or uni/college campus) + day-game (and bringing those girls out as part of your social circle to the bars as social proof and pivots for your night-game where the REALLY done-up hot young girls are partying) = regularly getting the hottest of the hot.

    Cold-approaching 9-10s in the bar/nightclub scene is basically the least efficient way of getting them lol Some of us just like that challenge. A lot of my solid internal beliefs about looks/money/clothes/etc. not mattering are because I challenge myself that way and don’t let myself rely on crutches like a lot of guys do. I think it’s badass to be able to enter a venue anonymously and build all my value from scratch in the moment to try to get the girl…and because I do that, I don’t have the same limiting beliefs that a guy who’s only ever been good-looking or only ever used his money or only ever approached girls who make eye-contact with him first or only ever approached girls in an environment where he knows some of the staff etc. often has, because all I let myself rely on is pure game.

    It would take me less than a month in a brand new city to build a big social circle that would give me easy access to smokeshow girls, but building and maintaining social circles comes with downsides along with the good parts and those downsides aren’t shit I want to deal with right now.

    When I’m too old and lazy to hit up bars I’ll work the type of game I describe above.



Alpha Male Of The Month

Original Link

via Heartiste

Nathan
on September 5, 2014 at 6:49 pm
Original Link

Yo YaReally,

Ive read other people hit you up about this.

Whats the resource for hitting on THE HOTTEST girls. Not shit 6-7’s, 9’s.

I’m in my 20’s, in shape. Good height


  • YaReally
    on September 6, 2014 at 10:43 am
    Original Link

    “Whats the resource for hitting on THE HOTTEST girls. Not shit 6-7’s, 9’s.”

    Indirect Mystery Method (despite how cool it is to make fun of Mystery now and call MM over-thinking it etc., MM is a phenomenally rock-solid understanding of female/group/social psychology and is built for hooking the hottest girls not average ones, and hooking them to the point where they’re in love and obsessed with you not just into you enough to let you stick your dick in them) + building huge social circles + being the social connector (throwing parties and merging social circles together) + having prime logistics (living 5 min away from party venues or uni/college campus) + day-game (and bringing those girls out as part of your social circle to the bars as social proof and pivots for your night-game where the REALLY done-up hot young girls are partying) = regularly getting the hottest of the hot.

    Cold-approaching 9-10s in the bar/nightclub scene is basically the least efficient way of getting them lol Some of us just like that challenge. A lot of my solid internal beliefs about looks/money/clothes/etc. not mattering are because I challenge myself that way and don’t let myself rely on crutches like a lot of guys do. I think it’s badass to be able to enter a venue anonymously and build all my value from scratch in the moment to try to get the girl…and because I do that, I don’t have the same limiting beliefs that a guy who’s only ever been good-looking or only ever used his money or only ever approached girls who make eye-contact with him first or only ever approached girls in an environment where he knows some of the staff etc. often has, because all I let myself rely on is pure game.

    It would take me less than a month in a brand new city to build a big social circle that would give me easy access to smokeshow girls, but building and maintaining social circles comes with downsides along with the good parts and those downsides aren’t shit I want to deal with right now.

    When I’m too old and lazy to hit up bars I’ll work the type of game I describe above.