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Comment Of The Week: You Gotta Bust A Move To Get Into Her Groove

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via Heartiste

reco
on June 1, 2014 at 6:16 pm
Original Link

@Yareally and HABD New Report And The Plan (part1)
So if you remember I read the book that YR recommended and it was great. It talked extensively about how to control a woman’s behavior by applying pain and pleasure. It is very organized and well thought out and proved out. It has a theory and its application. I highly recommend it. It is part of the Manhood101 Academy. Check it out. They do not agree with the PUA community per se. But once again I have never been a PUA. And I have just learned about the whole manosphere only recently. But I can tell you two things. One is there are definite similarities. And two they openly defend their positions to all comers, the media, manginas and feminists. And they are good at it. Having said that I have started to apply some of their concepts to three new prospects that I raised on my latest online foray. And there is very much an indication that this stuff works. I was scared shitless to try it at first. But like someone said pushing your comfort zone is the only way you are going to grow comfort zone. So here are three text strings all with different levels of success so far and in a very short period of time.

#1 This was a 25YO Latina she is an Admin and absolutely stunning green eyes light brown hair Columbian my favorite of all the Latin women. This chick was also very easy to talk to and responsive. A rock hard body and I give her an HB8 or better.

Me: Hello —- this is — how are you? 2:44 PM
Her: I’m good hunn, how are you today? 2:47 PM (don’t like that hunn shit)
Me: I am doing fantastic…I was captivated by your beautiful look…tell me about yourself. 2:48 PM (complements aren’t always bad)
Her: Thats great to hear. Well I am 25 I live here in —-. I love to be with my family and friends. Absolutely love the beach! A true —— girl! Lol :) I don’t smoke. I do enjoy a nice glass of wine, very relaxed, humbled person. What about yourself? 2:57 PM
Me: very nice…well i am from —– also…travel a lot for business, i love anything to do with the water, (boring stuff so far)
skiing,diving,fishing,boating, i like hanging out with friends and listening to live music… 3:03 PM
Me: …I also like cute little latinas from —– with big beautiful eyes. 3:03 PM (starting the flirt)
Me: See that is just not polite…you want me to call you and chat and talk…and then you just ignore me…that is such a turnoff for guys… 3:30 PM (notice the time space and now applying pain or punishment, this was not easy to do, this chick is smoking hot)
Me: …men like women that are respectful and responsive…that is a good thing. 3:31 PM (not being butthurt just explaining what I want and giving her something to aspire to)
Her: No I’m sorry hunn, you actually caught me just as I was getting a hair cut! :) Definitely not ignoring you I hate to be rude! But that sounds wonderful. One of my long term goals is to own a big beautiful boat! :) 3:37 PM (notice her quick response all of a sudden, she is used to being rude to guys she is a hot chick)
Me: That’s a good girl much more responsive I like that that is sexy and such a turn on… 3:39 PM (now I reward her on her good behavior applying pleasure)
Me: …I have always been I to boats and boating it makes me feel so alive and like I am on an adventure. 3:40 PM (now giving her some more pleasure, giving her me)
Her: Me too! Its a great feeling, I don’t enjoy swimming in the ocean too much though lol I am a little intimidated by it 3:47 PM (being responsive now)
Her: Are you in town tonight? 3:51 PM (she is already asking me out and no more hunn bullshit)
Me: That’s awesome I like how you can express yourself…that is sexy…I am going to call you 3:52 PM (I reward her some more and then upgrade the communication to talking on phone)
Her: Thank you ;) I have my newphew here with me so if u dont mind a child in the background or he will be home by 7. :) 3:53 PM (this is great it has always been difficult to get young women to talk on the phone,… by the way where did the haircut go?lol…lying bitch lol)
Me: No problem…calling. :) 3:55 PM (we had a great conversation lasted about 30 minutes, building interest and attraction and giving her so more of me)
Me: Hey cutie I really enjoyed talking with you…send me some photos to my email at ——— 4:12 PM (we set a date for Monday she is going to meet me for lunch wherever I want to meet no princess bullshit like 33YOprude and this chick is much hotter)
Me: —- what beautiful photos…now time for a couple of mine…but I must warn you… 4:32 PM (by the way her photos were very sexy great ass)
Me: …I am handsome. Lol 4:45 PM
Her: Haha I still haven’t gotten them, don’t know if u did send it or not. But can’t wait to see :) 4:48 PM (notice how she is waiting for my photos, lol)
Me: On their way babe lol 4:50 PM
Her: Oh wow yes very very handsome! :) 5:07 PM (great response)
Me: Thanks cutie…I like your positive flirty attitude. :o) 5:13 PM (and I reward her for her good behavior)

#2 This is a 30YOIndian(feather not the dot) lol MILF. She is part Cherokee, she worked at a very upscale club in town as a waitress where they are known for their looks. Saw her pics in her skimpy uniform. Now she works at Hooters. Long dark hair sexy body, gymnast I give her an HB7. She is much more reserved and slow to respond but she really liked my profile also. But I applied the same principles.

Her: Hi it’s —–. Thought I’d take a chance and text u 9:13 PM
Me: Hello —– you are in luck lol…just getting back from the driving range…how are you? 9:17 PM (I am being responsive)
Her: Nice! I am well just enjoying a movie and a glass of wine 9:32 PM
+ Her: Golf is something I haven’t mastered yet in life lol 9:35 PM
Me: Haha it can be fun I love exploring new courses in different locations…it’s kind of like a new adventure every time…what kind of wine are you drinking? 9:39 PM (personalize the feeling this creates attraction)
Her: Cabernet, but I enjoy Shiraz too! Absolutely do not like Zinfandel 10:08 PM (slow responder)
Me: Quit thinking about me! I can’t get any sleep when I am running through your dreams all night long. Lol 10:43 PM (flirting credit Yareally)
Her: Lol drink plenty of h20 oh and I toss n turn so get ready for obstacles ;-) 10:46 PM (being responsive)
Me: Lol…yes all those naughty thoughts…but I can handle them…question is… 10:49 PM
Me: …can you? ;o) 10:50 PM
Her: I can definitely handle it 10:57 PM (she is following my lead)
Me: Hmmm naughty girl…naughty and cute…I like 11:03 PM
Her: ;-) fun and flirty is more my personality then to try to be serious lol you’ll see that about me 11:12 PM (she is trying a mild passive aggressive shit test )
Me: Are you flirting wih me? 11:14 PM (and I redirect)
Me: I understand your madly in love with me…but you are going to have to restrain yourself until we meet. Lol 11:15 PM (credit yareally again thanks brother pure gold)
Her: I guess this is called reserved flirting lol 11:16 PM (and she follows my flirting text lead)
Me: Haha…so you are trying to reserve some time with me… 11:17 PM (redirect her shit test again)
Me: …I am not that easy ya know. :) 11:17 PM
Her: Neither am I 11:19 PM (trying to regain her frame lol)
Her: So where do u like to go in —-. I like ——-i 11:23 PM (still trying to regain frame credit the YR and HADB on seeing this shit)
Me: Oh spunky spice…never been to the one in —–…been to the one in —— though… 11:25 PM
Me: …so tell me something interesting about yourself…what is your favorite place in the world? 11:26 PM (redirecting the frame again taking lead)
Her: Lol not by all means I enjoy a nice place as well as a hole in the wall bar. I like the crowd, bands, atmosphere. Etc. And be specific fav place I’ve been or in general 11:29 PM (follows)
Her: Australia would be my top pick though 11:34 PM
Her: What about u 11:34 PM
Me: Nice…have you been there? 11:35 PM
Her: No 11:36 PM
Me: Well I love the northern Cali. Area along the coast…the weather is sheer perfection…and that have these winding roads that you drive along and it feels like… 11:38 PM (giving her what women want….me)
Me: …you are literally like on the edge of the continent…and there are places where it looks like the mountains have tumbled into the Pacific… 11:39 PM (descriptive, specific, with feelings)
Me: …I could just see us driving along PCH on a sunny day in a convertible and watching the wind blowing through your dark silky hair. 11:40 PM (painting a picture)
Her: Sounds like a great day…. How would u plan the rest of the date that is if u didn’t toss me off the mountains lol 11:44 PM (she loves it but she is still trying to shit on my frame lol)
Her: Jk 11:45 PM (hedging her bet)
Me: Well we would have to see if you can behave yourself…most likely at this point you would not be able to keep your hands off me. ;) 11:46 PM (sexualize this and get the bitch back in line lol)
Her: I like that u can make me laugh 11:49 PM (and she falls right in)
Me: I can make you do all kinds of fun things ;o) as long as you are a good girl 11:52 PM
Her: :-) I can only promise good girl but with a twist 11:54 PM (still following me)
Me: Haha sassy girl….lets get together Monday for happy hour we can get a drink…you can see how charming I am and I get to see how cute you are in person. 11:56 PM (flirty)
Her: Would love to but my car is in the shop since yesterday 12:00 AM
Me: Hmmm well I am going out of town on Tuesday…be back Thursday afternoon…we will do happy hour then. 12:05 AM (telling her)
Her: Looking forward to it :-) 12:08 AM (at this point she if following)
Me: Groovy…I am getting sleepy…but I am going to call you tomorrow so you get the benefit of hearing my sexy voice on the phone… 12:10 AM (tell her)
Me: …what is a good time to call. 12:10 AM
Her: Anytime but between the hours of 7-830pm that’s dinner and bed time for my son 12:12 AM (MILF)
Me: Cool…I will shoot for late morning…night cutie 12:14 AM
Her Perfect, sleep well 12:19 AM
Me: Hmmm no answer? 11:41 AM (next day she flakes and does not answer phone obvious shit test,
Me: See this is where you are supposed to answer…being unresponsive and unreliable is a total turnoff to men…men like women who they can count on…and respect their time…that turns me on.11:47 AM
Her: I’m at church. sorry 11:49 AM (time for some pain punishment)
Me: That’s all you had to say…I am calling you in 15 minutes 11:50 AM (instructing her on how to communicate with me)

I then call her and start a very good conversation. But early on I tell her how I respect a woman that I am with and that I expect the same in return. Then I tell her how I want her to act and how I want her to treat me. She emphatically agreed and apologized. I know women lie and there will be more but the important thing is I am applying these from really really early on in the interaction and every time the women are responding. These are things I have never done before. Just look at my last couple of interactions. Then we had more conversation I moved it more sexual and she resisted but slowly came around. And when she did I applied pleasure and reward which she just laped up like a cat to milk. It was truly amazing. This interaction went on all afternoon. With sexy photos and very sexualized conversations. And she slowly came out of her shell more and more. By far the most successful of the three interactions. I am looking forward to Thursday.


  • YaReally
    on June 2, 2014 at 4:29 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    Solid work. Good to see the principles being applied and the results.

    Really all this is, is having boundaries you don’t tolerate people in your life crossing, and having expectations from the people around you…and not being ashamed to enforce those boundaries/expectations.

    The problem most guys have these days is they were raised by women in a feminized society, where we’re taught to hold back our needs, wants, expectations, etc. for the sake of not hurting anyone’s feelings or making anyone feel “bad”. We’re supposed to be door-mats for people to walk on for the sake of nobody experiencing negative emotions.

    But did that hot girl’s dad let her eat cookies for dinner every night? No, because he knows what’s best, so she sent her to her room without dinner if she wouldn’t eat her vegetables. Did that hot girl’s older brother let her get away with being a brat? No, he smacked her with a pillow and ruffled her hair to mess it up when she was being retarded. Those are the men she respects in her life.

    Men these days let girls walk all over them. Numerous girls tell me that they don’t respect a man who’ll let them walk all over them and they’ll escalate their bitchy behavior with the guy just to see if he’ll ever actually call them out on it because it’s such an unattractive disgusting thing to see in a man.

    The cause of all this is that most men don’t even know what their boundaries ARE, let alone how/why to enforce them. They don’t HAVE expectations because they’ve been taught to just let everyone abuse them however they want and to take it and be a Nice Guy. So these guys couldn’t enforce their boundaries even if they knew how because they don’t HAVE any. They don’t expect anything from a hot chick, as long as she has tits they’re happy because they don’t have enough experience with hot girls to be like “you are being a bitch, stfu and call me when you’re ready to apologize”.

    I go into boundaries and punishment and training behaviors in-depth here, it’s a long read but you should find it useful:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/8/#comment-heartiste-463871

    Props as always for pushing your boundaries/comfort-zones and applying the knowledge you’re reading about instead of just jockey-theorizing about it.

    (P.S. Manhood101 principles are similar to PUA, their hate on PUA is just a marketing tactic because they grab the people who want to learn this stuff but not from a fuzzy hat guy, and they of course aren’t really up to date on what modern PUA teaches…but really, whatever helps you and gets you the knowledge, run with it. I study all sorts of different sources of pickup teaching, that’s why my game is so versatile/solid. Sticking strictly to one source is like only learning one martial art, you’d be limiting yourself if you didn’t mix some boxing and BJJ in with that muay thai)



Comment Of The Week: You Gotta Bust A Move To Get Into Her Groove

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on June 1, 2014 at 6:16 pm
Original Link

@Yareally and HABD New Report And The Plan (part1)
So if you remember I read the book that YR recommended and it was great. It talked extensively about how to control a woman’s behavior by applying pain and pleasure. It is very organized and well thought out and proved out. It has a theory and its application. I highly recommend it. It is part of the Manhood101 Academy. Check it out. They do not agree with the PUA community per se. But once again I have never been a PUA. And I have just learned about the whole manosphere only recently. But I can tell you two things. One is there are definite similarities. And two they openly defend their positions to all comers, the media, manginas and feminists. And they are good at it. Having said that I have started to apply some of their concepts to three new prospects that I raised on my latest online foray. And there is very much an indication that this stuff works. I was scared shitless to try it at first. But like someone said pushing your comfort zone is the only way you are going to grow comfort zone. So here are three text strings all with different levels of success so far and in a very short period of time.

#1 This was a 25YO Latina she is an Admin and absolutely stunning green eyes light brown hair Columbian my favorite of all the Latin women. This chick was also very easy to talk to and responsive. A rock hard body and I give her an HB8 or better.

Me: Hello —- this is — how are you? 2:44 PM
Her: I’m good hunn, how are you today? 2:47 PM (don’t like that hunn shit)
Me: I am doing fantastic…I was captivated by your beautiful look…tell me about yourself. 2:48 PM (complements aren’t always bad)
Her: Thats great to hear. Well I am 25 I live here in —-. I love to be with my family and friends. Absolutely love the beach! A true —— girl! Lol :) I don’t smoke. I do enjoy a nice glass of wine, very relaxed, humbled person. What about yourself? 2:57 PM
Me: very nice…well i am from —– also…travel a lot for business, i love anything to do with the water, (boring stuff so far)
skiing,diving,fishing,boating, i like hanging out with friends and listening to live music… 3:03 PM
Me: …I also like cute little latinas from —– with big beautiful eyes. 3:03 PM (starting the flirt)
Me: See that is just not polite…you want me to call you and chat and talk…and then you just ignore me…that is such a turnoff for guys… 3:30 PM (notice the time space and now applying pain or punishment, this was not easy to do, this chick is smoking hot)
Me: …men like women that are respectful and responsive…that is a good thing. 3:31 PM (not being butthurt just explaining what I want and giving her something to aspire to)
Her: No I’m sorry hunn, you actually caught me just as I was getting a hair cut! :) Definitely not ignoring you I hate to be rude! But that sounds wonderful. One of my long term goals is to own a big beautiful boat! :) 3:37 PM (notice her quick response all of a sudden, she is used to being rude to guys she is a hot chick)
Me: That’s a good girl much more responsive I like that that is sexy and such a turn on… 3:39 PM (now I reward her on her good behavior applying pleasure)
Me: …I have always been I to boats and boating it makes me feel so alive and like I am on an adventure. 3:40 PM (now giving her some more pleasure, giving her me)
Her: Me too! Its a great feeling, I don’t enjoy swimming in the ocean too much though lol I am a little intimidated by it 3:47 PM (being responsive now)
Her: Are you in town tonight? 3:51 PM (she is already asking me out and no more hunn bullshit)
Me: That’s awesome I like how you can express yourself…that is sexy…I am going to call you 3:52 PM (I reward her some more and then upgrade the communication to talking on phone)
Her: Thank you ;) I have my newphew here with me so if u dont mind a child in the background or he will be home by 7. :) 3:53 PM (this is great it has always been difficult to get young women to talk on the phone,… by the way where did the haircut go?lol…lying bitch lol)
Me: No problem…calling. :) 3:55 PM (we had a great conversation lasted about 30 minutes, building interest and attraction and giving her so more of me)
Me: Hey cutie I really enjoyed talking with you…send me some photos to my email at ——— 4:12 PM (we set a date for Monday she is going to meet me for lunch wherever I want to meet no princess bullshit like 33YOprude and this chick is much hotter)
Me: —- what beautiful photos…now time for a couple of mine…but I must warn you… 4:32 PM (by the way her photos were very sexy great ass)
Me: …I am handsome. Lol 4:45 PM
Her: Haha I still haven’t gotten them, don’t know if u did send it or not. But can’t wait to see :) 4:48 PM (notice how she is waiting for my photos, lol)
Me: On their way babe lol 4:50 PM
Her: Oh wow yes very very handsome! :) 5:07 PM (great response)
Me: Thanks cutie…I like your positive flirty attitude. :o) 5:13 PM (and I reward her for her good behavior)

#2 This is a 30YOIndian(feather not the dot) lol MILF. She is part Cherokee, she worked at a very upscale club in town as a waitress where they are known for their looks. Saw her pics in her skimpy uniform. Now she works at Hooters. Long dark hair sexy body, gymnast I give her an HB7. She is much more reserved and slow to respond but she really liked my profile also. But I applied the same principles.

Her: Hi it’s —–. Thought I’d take a chance and text u 9:13 PM
Me: Hello —– you are in luck lol…just getting back from the driving range…how are you? 9:17 PM (I am being responsive)
Her: Nice! I am well just enjoying a movie and a glass of wine 9:32 PM
+ Her: Golf is something I haven’t mastered yet in life lol 9:35 PM
Me: Haha it can be fun I love exploring new courses in different locations…it’s kind of like a new adventure every time…what kind of wine are you drinking? 9:39 PM (personalize the feeling this creates attraction)
Her: Cabernet, but I enjoy Shiraz too! Absolutely do not like Zinfandel 10:08 PM (slow responder)
Me: Quit thinking about me! I can’t get any sleep when I am running through your dreams all night long. Lol 10:43 PM (flirting credit Yareally)
Her: Lol drink plenty of h20 oh and I toss n turn so get ready for obstacles ;-) 10:46 PM (being responsive)
Me: Lol…yes all those naughty thoughts…but I can handle them…question is… 10:49 PM
Me: …can you? ;o) 10:50 PM
Her: I can definitely handle it 10:57 PM (she is following my lead)
Me: Hmmm naughty girl…naughty and cute…I like 11:03 PM
Her: ;-) fun and flirty is more my personality then to try to be serious lol you’ll see that about me 11:12 PM (she is trying a mild passive aggressive shit test )
Me: Are you flirting wih me? 11:14 PM (and I redirect)
Me: I understand your madly in love with me…but you are going to have to restrain yourself until we meet. Lol 11:15 PM (credit yareally again thanks brother pure gold)
Her: I guess this is called reserved flirting lol 11:16 PM (and she follows my flirting text lead)
Me: Haha…so you are trying to reserve some time with me… 11:17 PM (redirect her shit test again)
Me: …I am not that easy ya know. :) 11:17 PM
Her: Neither am I 11:19 PM (trying to regain her frame lol)
Her: So where do u like to go in —-. I like ——-i 11:23 PM (still trying to regain frame credit the YR and HADB on seeing this shit)
Me: Oh spunky spice…never been to the one in —–…been to the one in —— though… 11:25 PM
Me: …so tell me something interesting about yourself…what is your favorite place in the world? 11:26 PM (redirecting the frame again taking lead)
Her: Lol not by all means I enjoy a nice place as well as a hole in the wall bar. I like the crowd, bands, atmosphere. Etc. And be specific fav place I’ve been or in general 11:29 PM (follows)
Her: Australia would be my top pick though 11:34 PM
Her: What about u 11:34 PM
Me: Nice…have you been there? 11:35 PM
Her: No 11:36 PM
Me: Well I love the northern Cali. Area along the coast…the weather is sheer perfection…and that have these winding roads that you drive along and it feels like… 11:38 PM (giving her what women want….me)
Me: …you are literally like on the edge of the continent…and there are places where it looks like the mountains have tumbled into the Pacific… 11:39 PM (descriptive, specific, with feelings)
Me: …I could just see us driving along PCH on a sunny day in a convertible and watching the wind blowing through your dark silky hair. 11:40 PM (painting a picture)
Her: Sounds like a great day…. How would u plan the rest of the date that is if u didn’t toss me off the mountains lol 11:44 PM (she loves it but she is still trying to shit on my frame lol)
Her: Jk 11:45 PM (hedging her bet)
Me: Well we would have to see if you can behave yourself…most likely at this point you would not be able to keep your hands off me. ;) 11:46 PM (sexualize this and get the bitch back in line lol)
Her: I like that u can make me laugh 11:49 PM (and she falls right in)
Me: I can make you do all kinds of fun things ;o) as long as you are a good girl 11:52 PM
Her: :-) I can only promise good girl but with a twist 11:54 PM (still following me)
Me: Haha sassy girl….lets get together Monday for happy hour we can get a drink…you can see how charming I am and I get to see how cute you are in person. 11:56 PM (flirty)
Her: Would love to but my car is in the shop since yesterday 12:00 AM
Me: Hmmm well I am going out of town on Tuesday…be back Thursday afternoon…we will do happy hour then. 12:05 AM (telling her)
Her: Looking forward to it :-) 12:08 AM (at this point she if following)
Me: Groovy…I am getting sleepy…but I am going to call you tomorrow so you get the benefit of hearing my sexy voice on the phone… 12:10 AM (tell her)
Me: …what is a good time to call. 12:10 AM
Her: Anytime but between the hours of 7-830pm that’s dinner and bed time for my son 12:12 AM (MILF)
Me: Cool…I will shoot for late morning…night cutie 12:14 AM
Her Perfect, sleep well 12:19 AM
Me: Hmmm no answer? 11:41 AM (next day she flakes and does not answer phone obvious shit test,
Me: See this is where you are supposed to answer…being unresponsive and unreliable is a total turnoff to men…men like women who they can count on…and respect their time…that turns me on.11:47 AM
Her: I’m at church. sorry 11:49 AM (time for some pain punishment)
Me: That’s all you had to say…I am calling you in 15 minutes 11:50 AM (instructing her on how to communicate with me)

I then call her and start a very good conversation. But early on I tell her how I respect a woman that I am with and that I expect the same in return. Then I tell her how I want her to act and how I want her to treat me. She emphatically agreed and apologized. I know women lie and there will be more but the important thing is I am applying these from really really early on in the interaction and every time the women are responding. These are things I have never done before. Just look at my last couple of interactions. Then we had more conversation I moved it more sexual and she resisted but slowly came around. And when she did I applied pleasure and reward which she just laped up like a cat to milk. It was truly amazing. This interaction went on all afternoon. With sexy photos and very sexualized conversations. And she slowly came out of her shell more and more. By far the most successful of the three interactions. I am looking forward to Thursday.


  • YaReally
    on June 2, 2014 at 4:29 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    Solid work. Good to see the principles being applied and the results.

    Really all this is, is having boundaries you don’t tolerate people in your life crossing, and having expectations from the people around you…and not being ashamed to enforce those boundaries/expectations.

    The problem most guys have these days is they were raised by women in a feminized society, where we’re taught to hold back our needs, wants, expectations, etc. for the sake of not hurting anyone’s feelings or making anyone feel “bad”. We’re supposed to be door-mats for people to walk on for the sake of nobody experiencing negative emotions.

    But did that hot girl’s dad let her eat cookies for dinner every night? No, because he knows what’s best, so she sent her to her room without dinner if she wouldn’t eat her vegetables. Did that hot girl’s older brother let her get away with being a brat? No, he smacked her with a pillow and ruffled her hair to mess it up when she was being retarded. Those are the men she respects in her life.

    Men these days let girls walk all over them. Numerous girls tell me that they don’t respect a man who’ll let them walk all over them and they’ll escalate their bitchy behavior with the guy just to see if he’ll ever actually call them out on it because it’s such an unattractive disgusting thing to see in a man.

    The cause of all this is that most men don’t even know what their boundaries ARE, let alone how/why to enforce them. They don’t HAVE expectations because they’ve been taught to just let everyone abuse them however they want and to take it and be a Nice Guy. So these guys couldn’t enforce their boundaries even if they knew how because they don’t HAVE any. They don’t expect anything from a hot chick, as long as she has tits they’re happy because they don’t have enough experience with hot girls to be like “you are being a bitch, stfu and call me when you’re ready to apologize”.

    I go into boundaries and punishment and training behaviors in-depth here, it’s a long read but you should find it useful:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/8/#comment-heartiste-463871

    Props as always for pushing your boundaries/comfort-zones and applying the knowledge you’re reading about instead of just jockey-theorizing about it.

    (P.S. Manhood101 principles are similar to PUA, their hate on PUA is just a marketing tactic because they grab the people who want to learn this stuff but not from a fuzzy hat guy, and they of course aren’t really up to date on what modern PUA teaches…but really, whatever helps you and gets you the knowledge, run with it. I study all sorts of different sources of pickup teaching, that’s why my game is so versatile/solid. Sticking strictly to one source is like only learning one martial art, you’d be limiting yourself if you didn’t mix some boxing and BJJ in with that muay thai)



Comment Of The Week: You Gotta Bust A Move To Get Into Her Groove

Original Link

via Heartiste

Reco
on June 2, 2014 at 4:06 pm
Original Link

@yareally and HABD on part 2 the plan.

So I have not heard from either 40yo nurse or 33yo prude. Prude has been two weeks now no contact. I am able to get away tomorrow night. So I am thinking I can ask her out to meet me tomorrow night like discussed in the plan. What do you guys think? Am I off?

On the 40yo Latina that formerly flaked on me and then showed back up. I believe one night this week I am going to start the sexual flirting with her via text and telephone. Does that sound about right?

Also on the update from above the 25yo hottie flaked on me today. But the 30yo Indian chick above is looking real good. Tons of IOIs and flirting she is also contacting quite a bit and following my lead after training her some. Thursday is looking really good for her.

Thoughts masters?


  • YaReally
    on June 2, 2014 at 6:16 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    “So I am thinking I can ask her out to meet me tomorrow night like discussed in the plan.”

    Sure. If she puts up any kind of fuss she gets another two weeks radio silence lol You’re basically teaching her “look when I offer, you better take it ’cause I don’t need you”. Don’t acknowledge that you were punishing her or anything if she asks, just brush it off with that you’ve been busy. If she really harps on you for an answer, tell her something like “I don’t know, I just lose interest in girls that are hard to hang out with…you seemed like you needed time to sort stuff out and that’s cool, but I’m only going to ask so many times before I move on.” like you’re not mad/bitter, just saying like, you not prioritizing me in any way is a turn-off and makes texting you less of a priority.

    “I believe one night this week I am going to start the sexual flirting with her via text and telephone. Does that sound about right?”

    ya, should be good.

    “the 25yo hottie flaked on me today.”

    What type of flake? No contact? Lots of warning? An apology and attempt to reschedule?

    “But the 30yo Indian chick above is looking real good.”

    Careful, native chicks are nuts lol Use a condom and don’t give her personal info.

    “Thoughts masters?”

    Keep on keepin on.



Comment Of The Week: You Gotta Bust A Move To Get Into Her Groove

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Reco
on June 2, 2014 at 4:06 pm
Original Link

@yareally and HABD on part 2 the plan.

So I have not heard from either 40yo nurse or 33yo prude. Prude has been two weeks now no contact. I am able to get away tomorrow night. So I am thinking I can ask her out to meet me tomorrow night like discussed in the plan. What do you guys think? Am I off?

On the 40yo Latina that formerly flaked on me and then showed back up. I believe one night this week I am going to start the sexual flirting with her via text and telephone. Does that sound about right?

Also on the update from above the 25yo hottie flaked on me today. But the 30yo Indian chick above is looking real good. Tons of IOIs and flirting she is also contacting quite a bit and following my lead after training her some. Thursday is looking really good for her.

Thoughts masters?


  • YaReally
    on June 2, 2014 at 6:16 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    “So I am thinking I can ask her out to meet me tomorrow night like discussed in the plan.”

    Sure. If she puts up any kind of fuss she gets another two weeks radio silence lol You’re basically teaching her “look when I offer, you better take it ’cause I don’t need you”. Don’t acknowledge that you were punishing her or anything if she asks, just brush it off with that you’ve been busy. If she really harps on you for an answer, tell her something like “I don’t know, I just lose interest in girls that are hard to hang out with…you seemed like you needed time to sort stuff out and that’s cool, but I’m only going to ask so many times before I move on.” like you’re not mad/bitter, just saying like, you not prioritizing me in any way is a turn-off and makes texting you less of a priority.

    “I believe one night this week I am going to start the sexual flirting with her via text and telephone. Does that sound about right?”

    ya, should be good.

    “the 25yo hottie flaked on me today.”

    What type of flake? No contact? Lots of warning? An apology and attempt to reschedule?

    “But the 30yo Indian chick above is looking real good.”

    Careful, native chicks are nuts lol Use a condom and don’t give her personal info.

    “Thoughts masters?”

    Keep on keepin on.



Jerkboy Chat Game

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PA
on May 30, 2014 at 11:14 am
Original Link

I see younger guys ending most their written sentences with “lol” almost in place of a period. Is this a filler like “ummm” or “know what I’m saying” or a safe way of doing a smiley face?


  • YaReally
    on May 30, 2014 at 11:44 am
    Original Link

    Shit, I’m doing it all wrong lol

    I type with perfect grammar/punctuation/etc. in texts. If the girl types like a retard I send “I have no idea what that says. Proofread your shit.” They end up texting me with proper writing and they continue to text their friends with retard-text.

    There’s a very specific type of girl who’s turned off by “lol”s and emoticons but usually they’re easy to spot (they’re the ones who don’t use them themselves and like extremely dominant men). I’d say they’re like, 10%, it’s a very small number of them. With those ones I just pick up on it and drop that stuff. But like 90% of girls give no fucks.

    James Bond txting and standing around in a club with a scowl on your face only works when you have high value. It’s okay to have fun and enjoy life around women lol


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:24 pm
      Original Link

      @Burninator
      lol I meant the two actions separately. Trying to be James Bond by txting aloofly, or trying to be James Bond and standing around with a scowl on your face, only work when you have high value.

      That said I agree with you, don’t spend your night at the bar txting. Guys should try leaving their phone at home a few nights out…it’s good for shoving in your face just how much you instinctively use txting to avoid interacting with people when you keep reaching for your pocket only to realize “oh right, it’s empty”. None of us had cell phones back in the day lol


    • YaReally
      on May 31, 2014 at 5:55 am
      Original Link

      @Lumpy
      Check yer E-Mail.


  • Trev
    on May 30, 2014 at 1:30 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally referred to it(lol) as ‘social lubrication’. It’s very effective with women who are entrenched in digital culture, smart phones etc..


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:20 pm
      Original Link

      Just for accuracy, I’ve never used the term “social lubrication”. Lols are fine though. Texting has changed since 2005 when it was a new thing. You can txt a bunch now, and be expressive and send meme pics, it’s all good.

      When txting was new it was like people got 3 or 4 txts a day. Txting 10x in an hour was weird then. Now chicks (esp the young ones, but even the older ones) are txting constantly, and probably blow through 100 txts a day in total. You don’t have to restrict it to one or two aloof txts…carve out a chunk of time and be memorable, just make sure your txts are solid and use game and push things forward instead of just being gay fluff talk.



Jerkboy Chat Game

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PA
on May 30, 2014 at 11:14 am
Original Link

I see younger guys ending most their written sentences with “lol” almost in place of a period. Is this a filler like “ummm” or “know what I’m saying” or a safe way of doing a smiley face?


  • YaReally
    on May 30, 2014 at 11:44 am
    Original Link

    Shit, I’m doing it all wrong lol

    I type with perfect grammar/punctuation/etc. in texts. If the girl types like a retard I send “I have no idea what that says. Proofread your shit.” They end up texting me with proper writing and they continue to text their friends with retard-text.

    There’s a very specific type of girl who’s turned off by “lol”s and emoticons but usually they’re easy to spot (they’re the ones who don’t use them themselves and like extremely dominant men). I’d say they’re like, 10%, it’s a very small number of them. With those ones I just pick up on it and drop that stuff. But like 90% of girls give no fucks.

    James Bond txting and standing around in a club with a scowl on your face only works when you have high value. It’s okay to have fun and enjoy life around women lol


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:24 pm
      Original Link

      @Burninator
      lol I meant the two actions separately. Trying to be James Bond by txting aloofly, or trying to be James Bond and standing around with a scowl on your face, only work when you have high value.

      That said I agree with you, don’t spend your night at the bar txting. Guys should try leaving their phone at home a few nights out…it’s good for shoving in your face just how much you instinctively use txting to avoid interacting with people when you keep reaching for your pocket only to realize “oh right, it’s empty”. None of us had cell phones back in the day lol


    • YaReally
      on May 31, 2014 at 5:55 am
      Original Link

      @Lumpy
      Check yer E-Mail.


  • Trev
    on May 30, 2014 at 1:30 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally referred to it(lol) as ‘social lubrication’. It’s very effective with women who are entrenched in digital culture, smart phones etc..


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:20 pm
      Original Link

      Just for accuracy, I’ve never used the term “social lubrication”. Lols are fine though. Texting has changed since 2005 when it was a new thing. You can txt a bunch now, and be expressive and send meme pics, it’s all good.

      When txting was new it was like people got 3 or 4 txts a day. Txting 10x in an hour was weird then. Now chicks (esp the young ones, but even the older ones) are txting constantly, and probably blow through 100 txts a day in total. You don’t have to restrict it to one or two aloof txts…carve out a chunk of time and be memorable, just make sure your txts are solid and use game and push things forward instead of just being gay fluff talk.



Jerkboy Chat Game

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walawala
on May 30, 2014 at 11:28 am
Original Link

I got introduced to a smoking hot girl at my weekly party. She was tall and visiting.

The guy who introduced me apparently was chasing after her at one time and chasing after my ex gf.

He introduced me. I was kind of languid. She was beaming.

This herb kept saying “Look at his (mine) eyes popping out of his head….”

The girl was embarrassed. I kept my cool and said…”Is he always like this?”

Then I grabbed her hand and pulled her on the dance floor with “I’ll protect you….”

She was so flirty.. we were eye-fucking each other about 3 inches away. Since we are both tall and the same height I kept pulling her close and teasing her about stealing all the food in her family to make her that tall.

After amping up the attraction and some rapport…I left her and never talked to her for the rest of the night. She’s visiting for a week so figured I’d run into her over the weekend anyway.

But my other friend knew her and said “These girls have better game than you..”

I wasn’t sure whether she was flaunting it for me to get me to chase or whether those massive IOI’s were real.

But unfortunately logistics and my own spider sense that I didn’t want to appear too eager had me playing it cool as fuck.

I will see her over the weekend and will gauge whether this is general friendly-girl super flirty as my buddy suggests or whether this is something I can turn into something.

I was quite proud of myself for not falling over myself to chase her….not sure how I kept it together, just basically let that herb kind of DHV me by DLVing himself.


  • ballocaust
    on May 30, 2014 at 1:11 pm
    Original Link

    with the short window, might have wanted to close out early. they know if they’ll fuck you or not basically once you show up and start blabbing. if its a one-off type of encounter, leave it all on the court

    the only time its really worth tapping the escalation breaks is co-worker, local barista, neighbor etc where repeated interactions are expected and feeling out rapport until 100% certainty keeps you from shitting where you end up having to eat.

    But my other friend knew her and said “These girls have better game than you..”

    whats that about, your friends a cunt


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:49 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      “My concern was that being THAT friendly was odd. I have game but for a girl to basically be all over me after that herb pedstalized her in front of me about “meet my super hot friend…wow you’re eyes are bulging out of your head I can tell hahahahahhahaha” was odd for me. To escalate would have been too predictable.”

      That’s why he did it. He was trying to make it awkward for you to escalate. I use this one all the time. “wow, your boyfriend (even tho I can tell he’s just an orbiter) doesn’t like me flirting with you like this” “oh he’s just a friend!!” Or “oh sorry man is this your girlfriend (when I know he’s just an orbiter)? No? Why not man, don’t you think she’s hot? Are you gay or what lol You wouldn’t fuck her??” etc. (this is just if the guy is an asshole lol)

      Aaaaand, well, it WORKED on you. He made it too awkward for you to escalate that night so you didn’t bang her, which was his goal. :)

      But you’ll make up for it. Hell I would even use it and when you get into an private convo with her be like “I was attracted to you from the start, but I didn’t want to be all cliche and hit on you the first night. I think it would’ve broken Herb’s heart. Besides, I had to make sure you had more going for you than just your looks…you (insert qualifier or cold read here about something that isn’t her looks here)” and turn it into a solid SOI/qualifier. Makes you look socially aware and discreet too.


  • YaReally
    on May 30, 2014 at 1:44 pm
    Original Link

    @walawala
    Bone her. Tall chicks don’t meet cool tall guys often. Their choice of guys is already whittled down to a small percent in their mind because shorter guys all have height complexes around her, and tall guys are just as commonly beta as any other height guys so if you’re her height and cool, she’s probably up to bang. Be physically dominant with her (even just pulling her in to cut the space and lead her and kiss her), esp in the sack, she probably doesn’t run into that very often (if ever) because she’s too tall for most guys to do it to her.


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:17 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      “But what should I do?”

      Which of your options is reacting and which are not reacting?


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:54 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      ““Not reacting” would be…take all the money, thank the herb. Continue organizing the party…DHV the fuck out of any other girl there because I’m bringing two of the coolest musicians in their genre….and NEVER EVER mention, look, or react to the crazy ex gf again.”

      Yup. Good man. :)

      “This is a clear provocation. I did “react” last time…perhaps rather badly.”

      Yup. lol There’s no GOOD reaction. If it’s a reaction at all, it’s bad.

      “It does bother me.”

      This is why ideally a guy who ditches a one-itis finds a way to not see her every week at their weekly parties lol This chick will have hooks in you until you literally haven’t seen or heard from her for like 6 months straight. You are NOT in an ideal situation to wrap this one up with a bow and not dwell on it anymore, but I understand you have social obligations that make it difficult to not run into her so you just have to keep asking yourself “is what i’m thinking of doing reacting to her (good or bad, any news is good news) or not reacting?”

      “I think he just chases hot girls who use him as a kind of beta provider—like my ex getting him to buy tickets for her.”

      Ya, every girl has a bunch of these guys. These guys are stupid lol…but convenient. If she needs a ride to my place to fuck or we go out and I don’t want to pay for drinks or she needs someone to bitch about work to or I need someone to make me look better, these guys come in handy lol



Jerkboy Chat Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on May 30, 2014 at 11:28 am
Original Link

I got introduced to a smoking hot girl at my weekly party. She was tall and visiting.

The guy who introduced me apparently was chasing after her at one time and chasing after my ex gf.

He introduced me. I was kind of languid. She was beaming.

This herb kept saying “Look at his (mine) eyes popping out of his head….”

The girl was embarrassed. I kept my cool and said…”Is he always like this?”

Then I grabbed her hand and pulled her on the dance floor with “I’ll protect you….”

She was so flirty.. we were eye-fucking each other about 3 inches away. Since we are both tall and the same height I kept pulling her close and teasing her about stealing all the food in her family to make her that tall.

After amping up the attraction and some rapport…I left her and never talked to her for the rest of the night. She’s visiting for a week so figured I’d run into her over the weekend anyway.

But my other friend knew her and said “These girls have better game than you..”

I wasn’t sure whether she was flaunting it for me to get me to chase or whether those massive IOI’s were real.

But unfortunately logistics and my own spider sense that I didn’t want to appear too eager had me playing it cool as fuck.

I will see her over the weekend and will gauge whether this is general friendly-girl super flirty as my buddy suggests or whether this is something I can turn into something.

I was quite proud of myself for not falling over myself to chase her….not sure how I kept it together, just basically let that herb kind of DHV me by DLVing himself.


  • ballocaust
    on May 30, 2014 at 1:11 pm
    Original Link

    with the short window, might have wanted to close out early. they know if they’ll fuck you or not basically once you show up and start blabbing. if its a one-off type of encounter, leave it all on the court

    the only time its really worth tapping the escalation breaks is co-worker, local barista, neighbor etc where repeated interactions are expected and feeling out rapport until 100% certainty keeps you from shitting where you end up having to eat.

    But my other friend knew her and said “These girls have better game than you..”

    whats that about, your friends a cunt


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:49 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      “My concern was that being THAT friendly was odd. I have game but for a girl to basically be all over me after that herb pedstalized her in front of me about “meet my super hot friend…wow you’re eyes are bulging out of your head I can tell hahahahahhahaha” was odd for me. To escalate would have been too predictable.”

      That’s why he did it. He was trying to make it awkward for you to escalate. I use this one all the time. “wow, your boyfriend (even tho I can tell he’s just an orbiter) doesn’t like me flirting with you like this” “oh he’s just a friend!!” Or “oh sorry man is this your girlfriend (when I know he’s just an orbiter)? No? Why not man, don’t you think she’s hot? Are you gay or what lol You wouldn’t fuck her??” etc. (this is just if the guy is an asshole lol)

      Aaaaand, well, it WORKED on you. He made it too awkward for you to escalate that night so you didn’t bang her, which was his goal. :)

      But you’ll make up for it. Hell I would even use it and when you get into an private convo with her be like “I was attracted to you from the start, but I didn’t want to be all cliche and hit on you the first night. I think it would’ve broken Herb’s heart. Besides, I had to make sure you had more going for you than just your looks…you (insert qualifier or cold read here about something that isn’t her looks here)” and turn it into a solid SOI/qualifier. Makes you look socially aware and discreet too.


  • YaReally
    on May 30, 2014 at 1:44 pm
    Original Link

    @walawala
    Bone her. Tall chicks don’t meet cool tall guys often. Their choice of guys is already whittled down to a small percent in their mind because shorter guys all have height complexes around her, and tall guys are just as commonly beta as any other height guys so if you’re her height and cool, she’s probably up to bang. Be physically dominant with her (even just pulling her in to cut the space and lead her and kiss her), esp in the sack, she probably doesn’t run into that very often (if ever) because she’s too tall for most guys to do it to her.


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:17 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      “But what should I do?”

      Which of your options is reacting and which are not reacting?


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:54 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      ““Not reacting” would be…take all the money, thank the herb. Continue organizing the party…DHV the fuck out of any other girl there because I’m bringing two of the coolest musicians in their genre….and NEVER EVER mention, look, or react to the crazy ex gf again.”

      Yup. Good man. :)

      “This is a clear provocation. I did “react” last time…perhaps rather badly.”

      Yup. lol There’s no GOOD reaction. If it’s a reaction at all, it’s bad.

      “It does bother me.”

      This is why ideally a guy who ditches a one-itis finds a way to not see her every week at their weekly parties lol This chick will have hooks in you until you literally haven’t seen or heard from her for like 6 months straight. You are NOT in an ideal situation to wrap this one up with a bow and not dwell on it anymore, but I understand you have social obligations that make it difficult to not run into her so you just have to keep asking yourself “is what i’m thinking of doing reacting to her (good or bad, any news is good news) or not reacting?”

      “I think he just chases hot girls who use him as a kind of beta provider—like my ex getting him to buy tickets for her.”

      Ya, every girl has a bunch of these guys. These guys are stupid lol…but convenient. If she needs a ride to my place to fuck or we go out and I don’t want to pay for drinks or she needs someone to bitch about work to or I need someone to make me look better, these guys come in handy lol



Jerkboy Chat Game

Original Link

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mas00
on May 30, 2014 at 11:48 am
Original Link

Help/Question need to analyze my experience

So I’ve been going back and forth with this girl for a while.
We went out 2 weeks ago made out nothing more. We’ve
never fucked, and when I try to hang she is out of
town or I’m too busy.

She came to an event/graduation art show, I had an art piece in.
We flirted talked – her friends were there and I could tell also
other guys who she probably made out with or fucked before
were there either that or beta orbiters. She’s a bit
of attention whore. I ignore her most of the time.

So right before she leaves she flips me the middle finger –
I smile and do the same she walks away. I go around pick
her up move her away to some bushes so no one sees us.

She tells me she is leaving with her friends I kiss her
and it is short and she is a bit reluctant. I’m not a PDA
guy either but I felt I had to assert myself.

I text her about 30 minutes after

Me: Ditch ur friends.

Her: Ehm. who is this?

I text her the day before to come to my event.

(trying to be playful at this point cause I’m lost)

Me: Santa Claus

What the fuck happened? I figure I should just erase her number
at this point, but I want to know if I was too aggressive or just
get some insight.


  • Hook or Crook
    on May 30, 2014 at 12:29 pm
    Original Link

    So right before she leaves she flips me the middle finger –
    I smile and do the same she walks away.

    Was she smiling when she did this? This is either a playful ioi (as Wala claims) or she’s slightly peeved at you. Either way, the door is still open. I don’t care for your “smile and do the same” gambit, personally, as it just mirrors her frame and leads nowhere; I would have grinned and given her the “come here” waggle with my finger to bring her to me, but everyone has their own style.

    I go around pick
    her up move her away to some bushes so no one sees us.

    I don’t care for this at all. You have a good venue and a whole room full of people to play with and use to make a good impression and you’re scurrying around in the bushes. This would make sense if the two of you had already fucked or if her buying temperature was higher from an earlier interaction and you were going for big escalation, but out of the blue like this it seems awkward and might scare her away.

    She tells me she is leaving with her friends I kiss her
    and it is short and she is a bit reluctant.

    Yup. She’s reluctant because you guys had one date with only a makeout and now it has been days and you’ve basically dropped back to square one. This is forced rapport, and its poorly calibrated.

    Me: Ditch ur friends.

    Her: Ehm. who is this?

    Doubling down on the out-of-the-blue aggressive pursuit is just hurting you further. You don’t have anywhere near enough value to make a girl drop her friends for you (note: I would never use a line like that, but – again – styles), and now you’re edging close to being a ‘creepy’ stalker who can’t read signals. Where’s the fun? Where’s the comfort? That makeout sesh from days prior might be fresh in your mind, but if she’s a high value girl, that wasn’t even a blip on her radar. Her tank is empty and she wants you to fill it with good emotions and excitement, but you’re trying to jumpstart her anyhow.

    Some of the higher-level guys might chime in on how to save this, but I’d give this a very long rest before attempting to re-engage (if ever), and I would rethink my approach entirely. Good on you for pushing your boundaries and going after what you want, though.


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 7:04 pm
      Original Link

      “Where’s the fun? Where’s the comfort? That makeout sesh from days prior might be fresh in your mind, but if she’s a high value girl, that wasn’t even a blip on her radar. Her tank is empty and she wants you to fill it with good emotions and excitement, but you’re trying to jumpstart her anyhow. ”

      Ya. She wants to “see the whole movie”, not just skip to the end: If you can’t pull her for sure that night logistically, don’t escalate too far…leave her wanting more.



Jerkboy Chat Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

mas00
on May 30, 2014 at 11:48 am
Original Link

Help/Question need to analyze my experience

So I’ve been going back and forth with this girl for a while.
We went out 2 weeks ago made out nothing more. We’ve
never fucked, and when I try to hang she is out of
town or I’m too busy.

She came to an event/graduation art show, I had an art piece in.
We flirted talked – her friends were there and I could tell also
other guys who she probably made out with or fucked before
were there either that or beta orbiters. She’s a bit
of attention whore. I ignore her most of the time.

So right before she leaves she flips me the middle finger –
I smile and do the same she walks away. I go around pick
her up move her away to some bushes so no one sees us.

She tells me she is leaving with her friends I kiss her
and it is short and she is a bit reluctant. I’m not a PDA
guy either but I felt I had to assert myself.

I text her about 30 minutes after

Me: Ditch ur friends.

Her: Ehm. who is this?

I text her the day before to come to my event.

(trying to be playful at this point cause I’m lost)

Me: Santa Claus

What the fuck happened? I figure I should just erase her number
at this point, but I want to know if I was too aggressive or just
get some insight.


  • Hook or Crook
    on May 30, 2014 at 12:29 pm
    Original Link

    So right before she leaves she flips me the middle finger –
    I smile and do the same she walks away.

    Was she smiling when she did this? This is either a playful ioi (as Wala claims) or she’s slightly peeved at you. Either way, the door is still open. I don’t care for your “smile and do the same” gambit, personally, as it just mirrors her frame and leads nowhere; I would have grinned and given her the “come here” waggle with my finger to bring her to me, but everyone has their own style.

    I go around pick
    her up move her away to some bushes so no one sees us.

    I don’t care for this at all. You have a good venue and a whole room full of people to play with and use to make a good impression and you’re scurrying around in the bushes. This would make sense if the two of you had already fucked or if her buying temperature was higher from an earlier interaction and you were going for big escalation, but out of the blue like this it seems awkward and might scare her away.

    She tells me she is leaving with her friends I kiss her
    and it is short and she is a bit reluctant.

    Yup. She’s reluctant because you guys had one date with only a makeout and now it has been days and you’ve basically dropped back to square one. This is forced rapport, and its poorly calibrated.

    Me: Ditch ur friends.

    Her: Ehm. who is this?

    Doubling down on the out-of-the-blue aggressive pursuit is just hurting you further. You don’t have anywhere near enough value to make a girl drop her friends for you (note: I would never use a line like that, but – again – styles), and now you’re edging close to being a ‘creepy’ stalker who can’t read signals. Where’s the fun? Where’s the comfort? That makeout sesh from days prior might be fresh in your mind, but if she’s a high value girl, that wasn’t even a blip on her radar. Her tank is empty and she wants you to fill it with good emotions and excitement, but you’re trying to jumpstart her anyhow.

    Some of the higher-level guys might chime in on how to save this, but I’d give this a very long rest before attempting to re-engage (if ever), and I would rethink my approach entirely. Good on you for pushing your boundaries and going after what you want, though.


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 7:04 pm
      Original Link

      “Where’s the fun? Where’s the comfort? That makeout sesh from days prior might be fresh in your mind, but if she’s a high value girl, that wasn’t even a blip on her radar. Her tank is empty and she wants you to fill it with good emotions and excitement, but you’re trying to jumpstart her anyhow. ”

      Ya. She wants to “see the whole movie”, not just skip to the end: If you can’t pull her for sure that night logistically, don’t escalate too far…leave her wanting more.



Elliot Rodger, Sexual Entitlement, Father Abandonment, And The Anti-Boy Therapy Culture

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Director
on May 29, 2014 at 3:24 pm
Original Link

The bit about the reality show.

man on man is the dad a cold hearted bastard. I’d stick the kid on TV. That is your son after all. Case solved.


  • Zombie Shane
    on May 29, 2014 at 5:54 pm
    Original Link

    If I were in a room with that father right now, I would kill the son of a bitch with my bare hands.

    Hell, if I even just knew his home address.

    What a God-damned monster.

    I’m so fucking enraged right now that I gotta go do something to take my mind off of this shit.

    Maybe wash the dishes and the laundry.

    I almost feel like crying for that poor little boy.

    Seriously.


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 8:08 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      Ya, probably what happened is someone harped on the dad CONSTANTLY to “just put a bun in that oven!! Who cares if you want it or if you’ve thought this through or if you have the time in your life to dedicate to being a good father who doesn’t raise a psychopath! PUT BUNS IN THOSE OVENS GENTLEMEN!!!” and the dipshit listened.

      What a retard hey?



Elliot Rodger, Sexual Entitlement, Father Abandonment, And The Anti-Boy Therapy Culture

Original Link

via Heartiste

Director
on May 29, 2014 at 3:24 pm
Original Link

The bit about the reality show.

man on man is the dad a cold hearted bastard. I’d stick the kid on TV. That is your son after all. Case solved.


  • Zombie Shane
    on May 29, 2014 at 5:54 pm
    Original Link

    If I were in a room with that father right now, I would kill the son of a bitch with my bare hands.

    Hell, if I even just knew his home address.

    What a God-damned monster.

    I’m so fucking enraged right now that I gotta go do something to take my mind off of this shit.

    Maybe wash the dishes and the laundry.

    I almost feel like crying for that poor little boy.

    Seriously.


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 8:08 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      Ya, probably what happened is someone harped on the dad CONSTANTLY to “just put a bun in that oven!! Who cares if you want it or if you’ve thought this through or if you have the time in your life to dedicate to being a good father who doesn’t raise a psychopath! PUT BUNS IN THOSE OVENS GENTLEMEN!!!” and the dipshit listened.

      What a retard hey?



Elliot Rodger, Sexual Entitlement, Father Abandonment, And The Anti-Boy Therapy Culture

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 29, 2014 at 4:03 pm
Original Link

“He chose puahate because it told him what he wanted to hear – that girls choose guys for mysterious reasons that no man can understand – or change about himself.”

Like Tyler says: “That’s why a lot of people hate my shit (his teaching). Because I’m saying to them: “Dude, it IS your fault.””

Roger wasn’t much different from a lot of modern entitled women who feel entitled to the perfect man, and feel frustration that prince charming hasn’t arrived despite them not really bringing much to the table, and refusing to acknowledge that maybe if they took responsibility and cultivated a more positive/upbeat attitude instead of the Jezzie snark, took care of their bodies/looks instead of sabotaging them, tried to get out of negative drama-filled mindsets instead of embracing them (in the latest Jezzie article on Elliot the author freaks out so much about reading PUAHate convos that she busts into the bathroom while her boyfriend is taking a bath and basically accuses him and all men of being like Elliot…like fuck off, I feel bad for her boyfriend lol dude should dump her right there for that overdramatic nonsense…he should be thinking “what happens if we have a son? Is this the kind of mother I’d want for him? One that views him as a probably Elliot instead of loving him?”), and basically learned to handle their shit they might deserve that guy.

Elliot didn’t deserve a hot blonde 10 ’cause his internals were all fucked up and he wasn’t actually bringing value to the table. A 30+ yo snarky fat Jezzie angry feminist doesn’t deserve a 10 because her externals are all fucked up and she isn’t actually bringing value to the table. The difference between the two of them is that everyone tells the Elliots to STFU and call them creepy losers and that it’s their fault not women’s fault (except for PUAHate which is why he hung out there), but everyone tells the women that it’s not their fault and everyone else IS to blame and men are jerks and their fat rolls are gorgeous and perfect and can do no wrong and if you can’t accept me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best because fuck me trying to actually just be my best all the time and bringing positive value to the table in our relationship, and if anyone DARES tell a woman that maybe she shouldn’t be scarfing down bottles of wine and beer and slices of greasy after-the-bar pizza as she gets blackout drunk and chats up homeless people and brags about not knowing how to cook etc. through her 20s if she wants to find a guy when she’s 30+, it’s off with that guy’s head lol

But evvvvveryone will shit on an Elliot. The double-standard is entertaining but damaging. This whole terrible incident should be a chance for more discussion about men’s issues and how boys are raised and how their needs/problems are ignored so we can help them. I saw a lot of feminists commenting “why don’t the fedora-wearing Men’s Rights monsters try helping boys get help then???” Well, they’ve been trying, but every time they try feminists pull the fire alarms and shut their discussions down.

But let me guess…Not All Women, right? lol


  • Reco
    on May 30, 2014 at 8:22 am
    Original Link

    @yareally hey brother read the e ok. Really good shit. It took me about a day to read it. He has a really organized system. And I guess they offer a training for their system. I am considering joining it.

    On the 40yo nurse I sent her the response to get her life back together and we will touch base later text. Nothing from her.

    On the 33yo prude no word radio silence since Monday. Hanging tight.

    On the 40yo Latina, no word since Tuesday flirty stuff. I am going to text her tonight and strike up sexy flirty stuff again.

    Been a really quiet week. Lol

    What do you think?


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 11:39 am
      Original Link

      @reco
      “I am considering joining it.”

      Can’t recommend it or recommend against it, I don’t know ANYTHING about them or their site or their training or anything. All I know is the eBook, so do your research before you cough up any money.

      “What do you think?”

      Enjoy the peace & quiet. :)


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:42 pm
      Original Link

      @Reco
      Just be cautious and use your critical thinking. If you feel like you’re having carrots dangled in front of you for more money or if you don’t feel like you’re getting what you expected, don’t be afraid to cancel out of it ASAP.

      I can’t say they’re a scam ’cause I’ve done zero research on them whatsoever, but I know their marketing is very angry/hostile and full of 5yo schoolyard insults and claiming everything else is shit while their stuff is the best etc, which always makes me skeptical. Pickup should be fun and you should cultivate a mindset where you enjoy interacting with women VS seeing them as worthless or an enemy, and you should be able and encouraged to learn from multiple sources (like Bruce Lee says, take what works, discard what doesn’t) etc.

      I like their eBook though, so just stay self-aware and if you find yourself falling into negative outlooks/mindsets, consider bailing and looking for a more positive training path. Just don’t want to see you get ripped off or end up fostering “us VS them” mindsets…you naturally have a great positive attitude toward women and pickup right now so I would hate to see you lose that is all.

      But good luck, let us know what you think!



Elliot Rodger, Sexual Entitlement, Father Abandonment, And The Anti-Boy Therapy Culture

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 29, 2014 at 4:03 pm
Original Link

“He chose puahate because it told him what he wanted to hear – that girls choose guys for mysterious reasons that no man can understand – or change about himself.”

Like Tyler says: “That’s why a lot of people hate my shit (his teaching). Because I’m saying to them: “Dude, it IS your fault.””

Roger wasn’t much different from a lot of modern entitled women who feel entitled to the perfect man, and feel frustration that prince charming hasn’t arrived despite them not really bringing much to the table, and refusing to acknowledge that maybe if they took responsibility and cultivated a more positive/upbeat attitude instead of the Jezzie snark, took care of their bodies/looks instead of sabotaging them, tried to get out of negative drama-filled mindsets instead of embracing them (in the latest Jezzie article on Elliot the author freaks out so much about reading PUAHate convos that she busts into the bathroom while her boyfriend is taking a bath and basically accuses him and all men of being like Elliot…like fuck off, I feel bad for her boyfriend lol dude should dump her right there for that overdramatic nonsense…he should be thinking “what happens if we have a son? Is this the kind of mother I’d want for him? One that views him as a probably Elliot instead of loving him?”), and basically learned to handle their shit they might deserve that guy.

Elliot didn’t deserve a hot blonde 10 ’cause his internals were all fucked up and he wasn’t actually bringing value to the table. A 30+ yo snarky fat Jezzie angry feminist doesn’t deserve a 10 because her externals are all fucked up and she isn’t actually bringing value to the table. The difference between the two of them is that everyone tells the Elliots to STFU and call them creepy losers and that it’s their fault not women’s fault (except for PUAHate which is why he hung out there), but everyone tells the women that it’s not their fault and everyone else IS to blame and men are jerks and their fat rolls are gorgeous and perfect and can do no wrong and if you can’t accept me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best because fuck me trying to actually just be my best all the time and bringing positive value to the table in our relationship, and if anyone DARES tell a woman that maybe she shouldn’t be scarfing down bottles of wine and beer and slices of greasy after-the-bar pizza as she gets blackout drunk and chats up homeless people and brags about not knowing how to cook etc. through her 20s if she wants to find a guy when she’s 30+, it’s off with that guy’s head lol

But evvvvveryone will shit on an Elliot. The double-standard is entertaining but damaging. This whole terrible incident should be a chance for more discussion about men’s issues and how boys are raised and how their needs/problems are ignored so we can help them. I saw a lot of feminists commenting “why don’t the fedora-wearing Men’s Rights monsters try helping boys get help then???” Well, they’ve been trying, but every time they try feminists pull the fire alarms and shut their discussions down.

But let me guess…Not All Women, right? lol


  • Reco
    on May 30, 2014 at 8:22 am
    Original Link

    @yareally hey brother read the e ok. Really good shit. It took me about a day to read it. He has a really organized system. And I guess they offer a training for their system. I am considering joining it.

    On the 40yo nurse I sent her the response to get her life back together and we will touch base later text. Nothing from her.

    On the 33yo prude no word radio silence since Monday. Hanging tight.

    On the 40yo Latina, no word since Tuesday flirty stuff. I am going to text her tonight and strike up sexy flirty stuff again.

    Been a really quiet week. Lol

    What do you think?


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 11:39 am
      Original Link

      @reco
      “I am considering joining it.”

      Can’t recommend it or recommend against it, I don’t know ANYTHING about them or their site or their training or anything. All I know is the eBook, so do your research before you cough up any money.

      “What do you think?”

      Enjoy the peace & quiet. :)


    • YaReally
      on May 30, 2014 at 6:42 pm
      Original Link

      @Reco
      Just be cautious and use your critical thinking. If you feel like you’re having carrots dangled in front of you for more money or if you don’t feel like you’re getting what you expected, don’t be afraid to cancel out of it ASAP.

      I can’t say they’re a scam ’cause I’ve done zero research on them whatsoever, but I know their marketing is very angry/hostile and full of 5yo schoolyard insults and claiming everything else is shit while their stuff is the best etc, which always makes me skeptical. Pickup should be fun and you should cultivate a mindset where you enjoy interacting with women VS seeing them as worthless or an enemy, and you should be able and encouraged to learn from multiple sources (like Bruce Lee says, take what works, discard what doesn’t) etc.

      I like their eBook though, so just stay self-aware and if you find yourself falling into negative outlooks/mindsets, consider bailing and looking for a more positive training path. Just don’t want to see you get ripped off or end up fostering “us VS them” mindsets…you naturally have a great positive attitude toward women and pickup right now so I would hate to see you lose that is all.

      But good luck, let us know what you think!



Elliot Rodger, Sexual Entitlement, Father Abandonment, And The Anti-Boy Therapy Culture

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on May 29, 2014 at 5:33 pm
Original Link

(Reposting my latest stripclub FR in newest post as I’m not sure how far back YaReally checks):

Thanks dude – notes taken (seriously – I’m saving these comments and reviewing before I head to the club).

Very interesting visit last night to a strip club. Basically was approached by two girls – one smoking hot (top 3 of 30-40 women in the club) and the other less so (by stripper standards). Talked for an hour, no dances. Less hot one was into me and was starting to get properly attracted (won’t waste time on the details but I’m sure of the IOIs) while the hotter one stayed in stripper mode throughout and kept trying for a dance or tip till the very end (barring one brief moment where a random cold read of mine hit home, but I couldn’t keep that door open). Annoying THIRD time now I’m getting cockblocked by the double-stripper dynamic.

Anyway, the point I wanted to mention is that the hotter one was actually gaming me – as in, SHE actually negged ME. I didn’t even realize that’s what she’d done until after I left the club. It’s almost as if she saw I wasn’t responding to her as expected and wanted to shake me up a bit to see if she could get a reaction to pull me into her frame or where I’d qualify myself to her. I genuinely felt a bit mentally tired when I left – it was a bruising frame battle, but I’d call it a draw – I didn’t break through to her, but I didn’t fall into her frame either.

Stuff like telling me with a slightly superior smile:

1. “You look young..like 24/25″ (I am mid 30s and often pass for late 20s, but no way look 24) – at the same time the stripper who *liked* me was saying “You look younger but I think early 30s because of the way you talk and carry yourself and judge people”

2. “I think you are nervous about being with a naked girl and that’s why you don’t want a dance” (also at this point – put her hand on my chest and told her friend “His heart is beating so fast..like a rabbit” (it wasn’t))

Me (smirking): “And here I thought you were a good judge of character” followed by a shrug when she held her frame

3. Climbed right on top of me and put her face an inch from me and said something about “What do you want to do” (more in a slightly mocking tone than a seductive one)

Me (neutral tone): “Err..why are you chewing gum? It’s really distracting”

Second stripper (to the side): “Don’t tell anyone she’s doing it – it’s against the rules”

4. Several sexual stuff trying to shock me etc

(All the while the other stripper went to go on stage and came running back to us, and saying (sincerely) stuff like “You know I really like talking to you..you’re very interesting..”)

I still can’t get over it – *she* negged *me* – what did she think I’d do? Start proclaiming my lack of nervousness or justifying my age?


  • Hook or Crook
    on May 29, 2014 at 5:50 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally can disagree with me, but I’m pretty sure she was *shit testing* you; not negging. I’m not going to argue whether your IOIs were genuine or not (I wasn’t there), but this girl is trying to shake you up and see if you can hold your ground. She’s a master of social interaction and she can sense that you’re uncomfortable (her “his heart is beating so fast” was wicked apt), so she’s deciding which category to place you in by gauging your reaction to her.

    You can argue that this is an indicator that shes interested (and is a fair argument), but a ‘neg’ is employed by a man when he’s def interested and is trying to open an opportunity for tingles; a shit test is a *test*, the failure of which can get you ejected from the possibility of ever fucking her.


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 8:04 pm
      Original Link

      @Culum
      She just thought you’d cave. That was one of her moves, I’m sure she uses it on any guy who tries to pretend he’s cool. Did she sense some incongruencies in you? Maybe, maybe not, it’s definitely a go-to line of hers to use it.

      And ya, she thought you’d qualify yourself. Doesn’t mean she’d fuck you or you built attraction at all, or that she views you as anything other than a waste of her time, but she probably lol’ed inside that you weren’t falling for her usual gambits.

      The less hot one would potentially bone you but you’re on your own for how to get it to happen lol You’d have to meet up with her outside of work and that’s a huuuuuge step for a stripper to take because that’s combining her “real life” with her “stripper life”. If you like, ran into her at a bar somewhere tho, she’d probably bang ya.

      I’d guess the first step would be getting her number somehow, then somehow getting her to actually meet up and not flake after she’s out of state…so that’s not that great. Once you leave and she has a shift or two now you’re back in customer mode to her. Esp if she dances for some creepy guys after who turn her off men and kill her state. I lost my one stripper bang attempt (plans for her, her other stripper friend and my buddy and I to all hang in their hotel room and order a pizza) because some dude creeped her the fuck out in the VIP room demanding she fuck him ’cause he spend a bunch of $ and he got aggressive and they threw him out etc. but that shut her down hardcore like “fuck all men I just want to get home and cry to my girlfriend and shower off the ickiness of the night” and they had to storm out (the other one gave us a quick goodbye and was bummed we couldn’t hang but her friend was devestated and on the verge of tears).

      So probably the best bet would be to aim for that night, with a “what time are you off shift? Let’s grab some food after” ’cause strippers don’t eat much on shift (no one’s going up on stage getting naked after scarfing down a steak dinner, she’s probably had a salad at lunch and a couple little snacks thru the night) and joke around and build rapport/comfort in a cozy late night diner then take her home from there. Then she doesn’t have much time to fall out of state and strippers can generally leave whenever they want to so if it’s like a Tuesday night and the crowd has died down and there’s like 3 dudes left and 6 strippers she might be like “fuck it let’s get outta’ here” before her shift is done. And I wouldn’t do any kino or anything in the stripclub, stick to laser eye-contact and sexual rapport to build the attraction ’cause if you get too blatant then her boss is gonna’ think she’s prostituting herself to customers and other customers are gonna think they can cop a feel etc…just chill back and be cool and start the kino etc. when you get her outside and in the diner (have a place in mind beforehand, have an action plan of course, figure out what food places are nearby, she won’t care what the food is as long as its edible ’cause she’s starvin).

      You might be able to skip the diner to go to your place with a “let’s hit my place and order pizza” but if you skip the diner then her place (“let’s hit your place and order pizza”) is probably better ’cause she’d be more comfortable at home, but either way I think a diner would be a smoother transition…take care of her food needs in a little diner while you build more rapport/comfort and then go to your place. Like, there’s probably no rush, enjoy the time together (like Julien from RSD says enjoy the whole movie don’t just fast-forward to the end), ’cause she’s gonna be a night owl who’s used to being up till 6am anyway.

      That’s how I’d run it if I was in your position but I am definitely just going with logic here. I haven’t pulled/banged a stripper yet, I’ve just spent a lot of time in stripclubs over the years and observed the dynamics and am combining that with normal pickup experience.



Elliot Rodger, Sexual Entitlement, Father Abandonment, And The Anti-Boy Therapy Culture

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on May 29, 2014 at 5:33 pm
Original Link

(Reposting my latest stripclub FR in newest post as I’m not sure how far back YaReally checks):

Thanks dude – notes taken (seriously – I’m saving these comments and reviewing before I head to the club).

Very interesting visit last night to a strip club. Basically was approached by two girls – one smoking hot (top 3 of 30-40 women in the club) and the other less so (by stripper standards). Talked for an hour, no dances. Less hot one was into me and was starting to get properly attracted (won’t waste time on the details but I’m sure of the IOIs) while the hotter one stayed in stripper mode throughout and kept trying for a dance or tip till the very end (barring one brief moment where a random cold read of mine hit home, but I couldn’t keep that door open). Annoying THIRD time now I’m getting cockblocked by the double-stripper dynamic.

Anyway, the point I wanted to mention is that the hotter one was actually gaming me – as in, SHE actually negged ME. I didn’t even realize that’s what she’d done until after I left the club. It’s almost as if she saw I wasn’t responding to her as expected and wanted to shake me up a bit to see if she could get a reaction to pull me into her frame or where I’d qualify myself to her. I genuinely felt a bit mentally tired when I left – it was a bruising frame battle, but I’d call it a draw – I didn’t break through to her, but I didn’t fall into her frame either.

Stuff like telling me with a slightly superior smile:

1. “You look young..like 24/25″ (I am mid 30s and often pass for late 20s, but no way look 24) – at the same time the stripper who *liked* me was saying “You look younger but I think early 30s because of the way you talk and carry yourself and judge people”

2. “I think you are nervous about being with a naked girl and that’s why you don’t want a dance” (also at this point – put her hand on my chest and told her friend “His heart is beating so fast..like a rabbit” (it wasn’t))

Me (smirking): “And here I thought you were a good judge of character” followed by a shrug when she held her frame

3. Climbed right on top of me and put her face an inch from me and said something about “What do you want to do” (more in a slightly mocking tone than a seductive one)

Me (neutral tone): “Err..why are you chewing gum? It’s really distracting”

Second stripper (to the side): “Don’t tell anyone she’s doing it – it’s against the rules”

4. Several sexual stuff trying to shock me etc

(All the while the other stripper went to go on stage and came running back to us, and saying (sincerely) stuff like “You know I really like talking to you..you’re very interesting..”)

I still can’t get over it – *she* negged *me* – what did she think I’d do? Start proclaiming my lack of nervousness or justifying my age?


  • Hook or Crook
    on May 29, 2014 at 5:50 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally can disagree with me, but I’m pretty sure she was *shit testing* you; not negging. I’m not going to argue whether your IOIs were genuine or not (I wasn’t there), but this girl is trying to shake you up and see if you can hold your ground. She’s a master of social interaction and she can sense that you’re uncomfortable (her “his heart is beating so fast” was wicked apt), so she’s deciding which category to place you in by gauging your reaction to her.

    You can argue that this is an indicator that shes interested (and is a fair argument), but a ‘neg’ is employed by a man when he’s def interested and is trying to open an opportunity for tingles; a shit test is a *test*, the failure of which can get you ejected from the possibility of ever fucking her.


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 8:04 pm
      Original Link

      @Culum
      She just thought you’d cave. That was one of her moves, I’m sure she uses it on any guy who tries to pretend he’s cool. Did she sense some incongruencies in you? Maybe, maybe not, it’s definitely a go-to line of hers to use it.

      And ya, she thought you’d qualify yourself. Doesn’t mean she’d fuck you or you built attraction at all, or that she views you as anything other than a waste of her time, but she probably lol’ed inside that you weren’t falling for her usual gambits.

      The less hot one would potentially bone you but you’re on your own for how to get it to happen lol You’d have to meet up with her outside of work and that’s a huuuuuge step for a stripper to take because that’s combining her “real life” with her “stripper life”. If you like, ran into her at a bar somewhere tho, she’d probably bang ya.

      I’d guess the first step would be getting her number somehow, then somehow getting her to actually meet up and not flake after she’s out of state…so that’s not that great. Once you leave and she has a shift or two now you’re back in customer mode to her. Esp if she dances for some creepy guys after who turn her off men and kill her state. I lost my one stripper bang attempt (plans for her, her other stripper friend and my buddy and I to all hang in their hotel room and order a pizza) because some dude creeped her the fuck out in the VIP room demanding she fuck him ’cause he spend a bunch of $ and he got aggressive and they threw him out etc. but that shut her down hardcore like “fuck all men I just want to get home and cry to my girlfriend and shower off the ickiness of the night” and they had to storm out (the other one gave us a quick goodbye and was bummed we couldn’t hang but her friend was devestated and on the verge of tears).

      So probably the best bet would be to aim for that night, with a “what time are you off shift? Let’s grab some food after” ’cause strippers don’t eat much on shift (no one’s going up on stage getting naked after scarfing down a steak dinner, she’s probably had a salad at lunch and a couple little snacks thru the night) and joke around and build rapport/comfort in a cozy late night diner then take her home from there. Then she doesn’t have much time to fall out of state and strippers can generally leave whenever they want to so if it’s like a Tuesday night and the crowd has died down and there’s like 3 dudes left and 6 strippers she might be like “fuck it let’s get outta’ here” before her shift is done. And I wouldn’t do any kino or anything in the stripclub, stick to laser eye-contact and sexual rapport to build the attraction ’cause if you get too blatant then her boss is gonna’ think she’s prostituting herself to customers and other customers are gonna think they can cop a feel etc…just chill back and be cool and start the kino etc. when you get her outside and in the diner (have a place in mind beforehand, have an action plan of course, figure out what food places are nearby, she won’t care what the food is as long as its edible ’cause she’s starvin).

      You might be able to skip the diner to go to your place with a “let’s hit my place and order pizza” but if you skip the diner then her place (“let’s hit your place and order pizza”) is probably better ’cause she’d be more comfortable at home, but either way I think a diner would be a smoother transition…take care of her food needs in a little diner while you build more rapport/comfort and then go to your place. Like, there’s probably no rush, enjoy the time together (like Julien from RSD says enjoy the whole movie don’t just fast-forward to the end), ’cause she’s gonna be a night owl who’s used to being up till 6am anyway.

      That’s how I’d run it if I was in your position but I am definitely just going with logic here. I haven’t pulled/banged a stripper yet, I’ve just spent a lot of time in stripclubs over the years and observed the dynamics and am combining that with normal pickup experience.



The Severing

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 28th, 2014 at 5:04 pm
Original Link

Tyler’s response to the MSM:

Doesn’t get better than this lol Curious to see how the MSM will respond to him telling guys to fix their own problems and take responsibility and the montage in the middle of having girls make out with eachother and spank eachother lol


The Severing

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 28th, 2014 at 5:04 pm
Original Link

Tyler’s response to the MSM:

Doesn’t get better than this lol Curious to see how the MSM will respond to him telling guys to fix their own problems and take responsibility and the montage in the middle of having girls make out with eachother and spank eachother lol


What Advice Would CH Have Given To A Younger Elliot Rodger?

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 28, 2014 at 2:51 pm
Original Link

Here’s Tyler’s response:

Pretty sure he wins the “who has the best response to the MSM’s attack on PUA over Elliot Rodger” competition around the montage in the middle of the video where he’s picking girls up in his arms and carrying them over to their friends to make out and having them spank eachother and make out with eachother and 3-way kiss him.

But really the rest of the video has a lot of good points too and is what pickup is ACTUALLY teaching these days: not wallowing in self-pity and taking responsibility for your life and working on handling your shit instead of blaming everyone else for your failures.


  • herb
    on May 28, 2014 at 3:06 pm
    Original Link

    I love this video. This is the absolute truth to how it is all about your mindset. However, only first interaction approach. This is in secret the fun. :D


    • YaReally
      on May 28, 2014 at 3:36 pm
      Original Link

      Some real-talk from Tyler for the women who will be stumbling across this thread looking for evil PUA brainwashing to get mad about lol:


  • Laguna Beach Fogey
    on May 28, 2014 at 4:05 pm
    Original Link

    His vocal style reminds me of Richard Simmons circa 1980. WTF?



What Advice Would CH Have Given To A Younger Elliot Rodger?

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 28, 2014 at 2:51 pm
Original Link

Here’s Tyler’s response:

Pretty sure he wins the “who has the best response to the MSM’s attack on PUA over Elliot Rodger” competition around the montage in the middle of the video where he’s picking girls up in his arms and carrying them over to their friends to make out and having them spank eachother and make out with eachother and 3-way kiss him.

But really the rest of the video has a lot of good points too and is what pickup is ACTUALLY teaching these days: not wallowing in self-pity and taking responsibility for your life and working on handling your shit instead of blaming everyone else for your failures.


  • herb
    on May 28, 2014 at 3:06 pm
    Original Link

    I love this video. This is the absolute truth to how it is all about your mindset. However, only first interaction approach. This is in secret the fun. :D


    • YaReally
      on May 28, 2014 at 3:36 pm
      Original Link

      Some real-talk from Tyler for the women who will be stumbling across this thread looking for evil PUA brainwashing to get mad about lol:


  • Laguna Beach Fogey
    on May 28, 2014 at 4:05 pm
    Original Link

    His vocal style reminds me of Richard Simmons circa 1980. WTF?



Alpha Male Game In The Wild

Original Link

via Heartiste

Anonymous
on May 27, 2014 at 1:16 pm
Original Link

need advice

met a tinder girl last week for drinks, drinks went well but then i went overboard outside the bar with too much heavy making out which seemed to activate her slut defence and see wouldnt come back to my house when i asked her

text her a few days later to check in, her responses were non playful but she did say she had a good time when i asked her and said she would meet again. then i suggested next week she could come to mine to watch a movie and she didnt respond.

obviously im being very aggressive maybe overly so and she seems a big flake risk to me, anyone have any input on the best way to reopen now to get her to meet?


  • YaReally
    on May 27, 2014 at 4:30 pm
    Original Link

    lol

    “i went overboard outside the bar with too much heavy making out which seemed to activate her slut defence”

    “suggested next week she could come to mine to watch a movie”

    This needs one of those meme gifs where the top of it says “goes too sexually forward and triggers ASD”, and at the bottom it says “tries to fix it by being more sexually forward” :D

    All good man, we’ve all done it. Just had to calibrate to her hesitation and pull back and build some friend zoney comfort and probably go on another face to face date VS trying to get her to just come over. Follow Arbiter’s advice.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 5:47 pm
      Original Link

      @kant
      Guys approaching should consider that some of the girls you approach who aren’t immediately receptive/flirty with you and who seem uninterested, may actually just be blindsided by you the way you were here and after you leave they think “oh man that guy was cute why did I say that?? I should have said something flirty!! aww :(” because they just weren’t in state and on the ball. It’s worth plowing a bit through the awkwardness to see if she just needs a minute to get unstifled or if she’s really not into it.



Alpha Male Game In The Wild

Original Link

via Heartiste

Anonymous
on May 27, 2014 at 1:16 pm
Original Link

need advice

met a tinder girl last week for drinks, drinks went well but then i went overboard outside the bar with too much heavy making out which seemed to activate her slut defence and see wouldnt come back to my house when i asked her

text her a few days later to check in, her responses were non playful but she did say she had a good time when i asked her and said she would meet again. then i suggested next week she could come to mine to watch a movie and she didnt respond.

obviously im being very aggressive maybe overly so and she seems a big flake risk to me, anyone have any input on the best way to reopen now to get her to meet?


  • YaReally
    on May 27, 2014 at 4:30 pm
    Original Link

    lol

    “i went overboard outside the bar with too much heavy making out which seemed to activate her slut defence”

    “suggested next week she could come to mine to watch a movie”

    This needs one of those meme gifs where the top of it says “goes too sexually forward and triggers ASD”, and at the bottom it says “tries to fix it by being more sexually forward” :D

    All good man, we’ve all done it. Just had to calibrate to her hesitation and pull back and build some friend zoney comfort and probably go on another face to face date VS trying to get her to just come over. Follow Arbiter’s advice.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 5:47 pm
      Original Link

      @kant
      Guys approaching should consider that some of the girls you approach who aren’t immediately receptive/flirty with you and who seem uninterested, may actually just be blindsided by you the way you were here and after you leave they think “oh man that guy was cute why did I say that?? I should have said something flirty!! aww :(” because they just weren’t in state and on the ball. It’s worth plowing a bit through the awkwardness to see if she just needs a minute to get unstifled or if she’s really not into it.



Alpha Male Game In The Wild

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 27, 2014 at 5:42 pm
Original Link

On Twitter:

“PUA gurus could win a lot of goodwill by not blowing smoke up their customers’ skirts. That means don’t tell a 2 he can instantly get a 10. 2 hours ago”

Agreed. You can usually separate the good bootcamps from the scammers by how honest they are about what a bootcamp can do for people:

“I’d say a new guy taking a bootcamp is going to get out of it a really positive introduction to the game. It means he’s not gonna’ waste anymore time doing it the wrong way. He’s going to get an amazing jumpstart, have really good positive first experiences, and walk away with something in his head that gives him a vision of what he needs to do and what he needs to work on.”

No promise of instant HB10s lol

“Be happy with ANY little victory. You gotta really be happy about it. Admit you suck and just be happy with any little victory. (…) Go fuck a fat chick. Seriously. If you’re the hard-case newbie, go fuck a fuckin’ fatty. Put your dick in a wet hole, turn the lights off, stroke her hair and feel human contact. (…) You can’t get friends? I get it, it’s hard. But TRY. Get a WEIRD friend and work your way up. (…) Nobody owes me SHIT. No one owes you shit. A girl doesn’t owe you a fuckin’ mercy-fuck. They don’t owe you a mercy make-out or a mercy return to your phone call. If you don’t handle your own shit, they don’t owe you anything.”

“They’re like “maybe it WON’T work 100% of the time.” Who cares? You think you won’t make progress? And get 1 step closer to getting better? Ya, done, so do it. You’re never gonna’ reach a level where you can just go up to ANY girl and it’ll just happen like that, boom. Ever. (…) You think you’re going to snap in from a loser to a massive pimp in a day or month? No there’s no escaping it, you’re gonna’ have to put in hard work and pay your damn dues.”

“People who never get rejected or never have to go through anything typically lack in character. The stereotype of the rich kid is not the type that has a lot of character. It’s usually someone who’s had it easy. When you have to work for it, that’s going to help your confidence and self-reliance and give you pride.”

RSD starts every bootcamp with a little speech telling guys it’s not a magic pill that’s going to fix them, they’re going to have to work at it. They can help them get started or iron out little issues, but it’s up to the guys themselves to take it and keep working on themselves to get the hot girls they want.

And here’s Tyler and Jeffy on misogyny, telling guys to let go of their anger issues and bitterness towards women and rejections and girls who don’t want to have sex and Feminists etc:

Just sticking up for RSD ’cause the murderer dude was Subscribed to their channel and people are shitting on PUAs but the specific PUA company he was Subscribed to was actively encouraging much different behavior and expectations than people who haven’t actually watched their content assume.


  • kant
    on May 27, 2014 at 5:50 pm
    Original Link

    I’m going to be pissed if they try to blame this kid’s bullshit on pua. His whole world view was the very antithesis of pua — entitled, misogynistic, thinking everything comes down to money and looks, ignorant of female psychology, unaware that being good with girls is a skill you can work on, etc.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 7:14 pm
      Original Link

      ya, one of the biggest things I learned from PUA is that most of the shit that happened to me as a kid and the mindsets I grew up with etc. weren’t my fault. I was just trapped in the social conditioning that was fed to me when I was under other people’s care. It’s like a fat baby, his parents are responsible for feeding him so it’s not his fault if he’s fat.

      But the 2nd part of that is that anything after I hit my teens/early adulthood WAS my fault. I was making unhealthy unproductive choices in life that were stunting my opportunities and until studying pickup forced me to acknowledge my bad decisions and weakness and confront them head-on and deal with them and create new habits and make new decisions and build healthier mindsets, those wasted years I spent cooped up in my computer room alone like a hermit were my own fault. Just like a person who’s fat past their teens is making bad decisions…they may be ignorant of what good decisions look like, but the knowledge/help is out there for them to learn that, there are plenty of books and websites about healthy eating and dieting.

      I just needed the equivalent of those exercise/diet resources but in the area of socialization and interacting with women…something that would give me the guidance to let me know that 1) I could make more productive decisions that would lead to better opportunities in these areas and 2) what those productive decisions were so I can get a foothold and start making them and eventually learning self-reliance, critical thinking, decision-making, etc. and take control of my life.

      Elliot was a guy who never learned that his own decisions and mindsets caused a lot of his problems. He constantly blamed everyone else and everything else for his failures in life because no one taught him that he could take control of his life.


  • reco
    on May 27, 2014 at 7:33 pm
    Original Link

    @yareally update for today. Hey brother I started putting plan “get flakey back” into action already. lol

    So today my 40YO latina responded to my whos this text with her name. Then we had a flirty sexual text exchange. Nothing too much of substance. Just tried to keep it light and sexual. Still working on my text game. But she was very responsive. Here is the exchange below:

    Her: Hi honey , this Is ____ ____10:18 AM
    Me: Well hello there you sexy thing…have you been behaving yourself? 3:30 PM
    Her: Hi honey I beem great and you , how are you baby ? 3:38 PM
    Me: Doin great…just flirting with you and getting into trouble 3:44 PM
    Her: Haha, I like that honey :-) 3:45 PM
    Me: Lol that’s what all the girls tell me ;) 3:51 PM
    Her: All the girls , I see been busy honey , it doent surprice me you are very handsome :-) 4:45 PM
    Me: You know it babe ;) 8:58 PM
    Her: Of course I do hehe 8:59 PM

    So a little context. The entire time we were talking and seeing each other before she was always very sweet and flirty with me. She just flaked on me twice. She was always so complimentary sometimes it made me think she was just bullshitting me. But she is a latina and they do know how to treat their men. Also she is from Chile and speaks good english but remember it is not her first language. And she got really sexual on our last date before the flakes.

    But as you can see she is very receptive. And ready to play already. I will let her set for a few days and then flirt with her again. But as per the plan I am going to work her slowly.

    No word from 33YO prude after her greeting text yesterday. I am hanging tight on her.

    And a word on my 24YO Redhead. I am going to hold off maybe another week before I ask her out to drinks. I have been reading the ebook you referred me to and I am getting into the part about getting people to do what you want them to do. And I keep thinking how all of these chicks I have trained them to betatize me and treat me like a beta. And what a struggle to get out of that mode. I want to try to avoid doing that with this Redhead. If you have any suggestions on how to get off on the right foot with her that would be awesome.

    Thanks again.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 11:42 pm
      Original Link

      @thrust:

      From one of my replies to reco:

      “If you want to read more on the idea of punishment/reward and bringing order VS allowing chaos to flourish, I’m a big fan of some chapters of this free eBook:

      http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf

      Specifically the “Order VS Disorder” chapter and the chapters under “Authority – The Proper Male Form”, “Function”, and everything under “Part III: Applying The Solution”.

      This is my personal favorite in-depth breakdown/explanation/guideline for this topic and it’s helped a lot of my internal frame in dealing not just with women but with men too. I think it’s an excellent guide to how to properly enforce your boundaries and understand that you’re not a bad person for it, other people need you to do it and to do it competently instead of haphazardly.

      I really recommend it to anyone who finds they have trouble with respect. It’s espeically effective when you deal with highly feminine women who tend to be a lot more up and down in terms of emotional rollercoasters and constantly testing you or bringing you drama. I generally don’t have the same problems with these women that other guys do, but it’s because these sections of this book helped me understand the underlying shit that’s going on and how to properly help bring order to their chaotic behavior.

      I also think this is a great read for older men because a lot of it will go over the heads of younger men who are still figuring their own shit out and first experiencing tests and such. For older men with some life experience, there’s a lot of “hey, that clicks to me, I remember dealing with someone who was like that”.”

      Also two videos describing it’s principles, but the books go into better depth and give actual “how-to”s:


  • Cquilty
    on May 28, 2014 at 7:03 am
    Original Link

    Hey YaReally,

    I’m just curious…from your posts it seems like you’re exclusively focused on nightclub game. Why is that? Do you just enjoy that more than you do daygame? Or do you think that nightclub game is the best way to get access to the most gorgeous girls?

    In a big city one is bound to encounter 9s and 10s during the day at the right location (parks, cafes, etc.).

    Also, do you think as one gets older one should transition to daygame? Or is that a limiting belief? I’m 27 and still climbing up that learning curve, but I suspect once I get a bit older daygame will start to make more sense.

    Anyway, any clarification would be great.


    • YaReally
      on May 28, 2014 at 6:04 pm
      Original Link

      @Cquility
      “from your posts it seems like you’re exclusively focused on nightclub game. Why is that?”

      Nightclub outfits:

      http://ca.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2014118/rs_634x1024-140218104255-634.selena-shorts-london-021814.jpg

      Daytime outfits:

      http://www4.pictures.fp.stylebistro.com/Selena+Gomez+Tops+T+Shirt+AR1egN25Dh9l.jpg

      Nightclub in the winter:

      http://bottle-service-vegas.com/wp-content/gallery/ladies-only-guest-list/vanity-nightclub-girls.png

      Daytime in the winter:

      http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/cm/goodhousekeeping/images/VZ/women-wearing-down-coats-1110-s3-medium_new.jpg

      Finding women to approach in a nightclub:

      http://www.jackcolton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/2918f189876b49f092515034b6ec73a6.jpeg

      Finding women to approach in the daytime:

      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/05/06/article-2320147-19A48AEB000005DC-877_964x642.jpg
      :)

      “Do you just enjoy that more than you do daygame?”

      I like the energy and the vibe and all the hotties. I was intimidated by it at first, but every guy is.

      “Or do you think that nightclub game is the best way to get access to the most gorgeous girls?”

      There are hot girls in the daytime, but you spend a lot more time looking for them and they’re a lot more dressed down and covered up. I like to see girls done up because I like to screen for girls who like to dress up because I am shallow and appreciate women who enjoy dolling up for me when we hang out lol

      “In a big city one is bound to encounter 9s and 10s during the day at the right location (parks, cafes, etc.).”

      That is a true statement. In smaller towns it’s less likely, unless it’s a college/uni town.

      “Also, do you think as one gets older one should transition to daygame?”

      Whatever you’re comfortable with. When you’re like 40, it’s probably cooler to be connected more. So you roll into a bar/club and you know the bouncers, bartenders, manager, waitresses etc. and are the cool older guy who has his shit together and seems like a guy to know. Rolling in anonymously solo would still be do-able but I imagine it would be a lot harder to feel comfortable in like, a nightclub full of 21yos.

      “Or is that a limiting belief?”

      I’ve seen old dudes kill it. It’s all inside your head. I have buddies a few years younger than me who are too self-conscious to go to nightclubs or just hate the environment/people and feel more at ease in a pub. But I love the nightclub environment and there are plenty of clubs that cater to the 25-45yo demographic these days (since so many people that age are single with money to burn now) if I want to hang with an age-appropriate crowd.

      I’ll probably transition to daygame down the road and slow up on nightclubs and stick to bars/pubs more, but I’m only early 30s right now so I don’t expect that to be for a few more years.

      My buddy (30yo) and I just picked up two 20yos the other weekend. We told them our ages and they have boyfriends. They didn’t care because we’re fun and don’t act like guys our age normally do (given up on life, run-down and worn out, complaining about the noise and being tired and the bar is too crowded and wah wahh wearing shitty clothes that they wear to the office with bad grooming etc.). Most girls who guess our ages guess us to be mid-20s and are mind-blown when they find out our real age. Is it because we’re just incredibly good-looking with flawless young babyface skin? lol no, it’s just that we don’t feel old and they feel what we feel, so they assume we must not be old.

      “I’m 27 and still climbing up that learning curve, but I suspect once I get a bit older daygame will start to make more sense.”

      Daygame is great, it has all sorts of different challenges to it like everyone being able to overhear your conversation (self-consciousness), having to keep your state up when you can’t find suitable targets, avoiding accidentally hitting on underage chicks (lol), stopping people from whatever they’re doing and trying to hold a conversation, nowhere to run away if the interaction is awkward and you’re like sitting beside them on a crowded bus, etc.

      But it also has all sorts of different good things, like there’s almost NO obstacles…no loud music, no cockblocking friends, no AMOG competition, no drunk ADD girly shit, no crowds, very few bitch shields, etc. Plus you get way more bonus/confidence points in the girls mind when you approach during the day where that’s ballsy behavior VS when you approach in a nightclub where it’s expected and they’re often less receptive just due to the sheer amount of attention they have to deal with all night.

      I’m great at nightclub/bar game, but I know that when I get back into daygame it’s going to be an uphill battle and it’s going to basically feel like I’m starting over completely from scratch so I KNOW there’ll be a solid few weeks, maybe a couple months, of growing pains just to get back into it and get over the Approach Anxiety and such.

      But I also know that once I get past that I’ll be having a blast and it’ll be an awesome skill to have and I’ll be pulling chicks regularly with no problems.


  • Cquilty
    on May 29, 2014 at 5:53 am
    Original Link

    @YaReally

    Thanks for the breakdown re: daygame vs nightgame. You’re absolutely right about the trade-offs. Not sure if you read some of my earlier posts, but even as a relative newbie I feel very comfortable doing multiple approaches at a nightclub, getting rejected, recovering, and eventually landing a girl (albeit never above an 8).

    However, daygame approaches when women are stationary (like, sitting down at a cafe when I am walking past them on the street) is a total Approach Anxiety mindfuck for me. Especially at the kinds of places with families. Like you said, the fact that people can overhear everything, and there might even a bit of beta sympathy for the girls who aren’t as comfortable putting up bitch shields if im creeping them out or annoying them.

    My biggest fear is doing a daygame approach in front of my parents while we’re all at a cafe. haha. I’m sure the RSD types would be like… ok that’s what you gotta do.

    P.S.

    Got a nice lay last night with a girl with MASSIVE anti-slut-defense. I’d been trying her for three nights (not consecutive). First night, had her in my bed with her cuter friend…we all just cuddled and made out. Second time, I got naked but she kept her clothes on. Fucking finally I broke down those defenses but it was not easy. She claims shes still in love with her ex-bf…

    Take home lesson….

    When the girl changes her mind once you go get the condom, and says “actually you know we really shouldn’t be doing this” or “this isn’t a good idea”

    fucking AGREE with her… agree and amplify while you plow through physically “I know its a horrible idea blah blah… but I so want to be inside you (escalate escalate) and bam.

    I think I learned that from an RSD vid. But it popped in my head, and that split second decision to AGREE rather than “no its a good idea” or “itll be ok” probably made the decisive different between a lay and cuddleville. Amazing how that works.


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 1:54 pm
      Original Link

      @Cquilty
      “fucking AGREE with her… agree and amplify while you plow through physically “I know its a horrible idea blah blah… but I so want to be inside you (escalate escalate) and bam.”

      Ya my buddy actually just got burned with this last weekend. Had a girl in his bed, was escalating, tried to get her pants off but she wouldn’t budge. Said she was “a nice girl”. He said “nice girls can be bad…” and she wouldn’t budge, because he was trying to logically debate/convince her. He realized after “shit, I should’ve said “I’m a nice boy, we really shouldn’t be doing this..” and keep going”. Agree & Amplify and she would’ve probably gone along with it. it wasn’t that she didn’t want to fuck him necessarily, it’s that the way he tried logically debating/convincing her forced her into a frame where she had to logically debate/convince herself and shut down.

      It’s similar to Boyfriend Destroying, where if a girl is complaining about her boyfriend you shouldn’t talk smack about the guy ’cause the girl is likely to instinctively defend him (you might make fun of your little brother but if *I* make fun of him it’s like woah hey buddy back off that’s my little bro only I get to make fun of him).

      Instead you Agree & Amplify like “ya he sounds like a really nice guy, I’m sure he’s just jealous because he’s worried about losing you. You’re probably the hottest girl he’s ever had and he just doesn’t want other guys talking to you because if he lost you it would devastate him” (making him sound lame and in scarcity and desperate without insulting him), and then she’s likely to go “no you don’t understand he’s NOT a nice guy, this one time he–” and she’ll go into more stuff about how shitty he is lol

      So good on ya, remember that lesson for the future. :D



Alpha Male Game In The Wild

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 27, 2014 at 5:42 pm
Original Link

On Twitter:

“PUA gurus could win a lot of goodwill by not blowing smoke up their customers’ skirts. That means don’t tell a 2 he can instantly get a 10. 2 hours ago”

Agreed. You can usually separate the good bootcamps from the scammers by how honest they are about what a bootcamp can do for people:

“I’d say a new guy taking a bootcamp is going to get out of it a really positive introduction to the game. It means he’s not gonna’ waste anymore time doing it the wrong way. He’s going to get an amazing jumpstart, have really good positive first experiences, and walk away with something in his head that gives him a vision of what he needs to do and what he needs to work on.”

No promise of instant HB10s lol

“Be happy with ANY little victory. You gotta really be happy about it. Admit you suck and just be happy with any little victory. (…) Go fuck a fat chick. Seriously. If you’re the hard-case newbie, go fuck a fuckin’ fatty. Put your dick in a wet hole, turn the lights off, stroke her hair and feel human contact. (…) You can’t get friends? I get it, it’s hard. But TRY. Get a WEIRD friend and work your way up. (…) Nobody owes me SHIT. No one owes you shit. A girl doesn’t owe you a fuckin’ mercy-fuck. They don’t owe you a mercy make-out or a mercy return to your phone call. If you don’t handle your own shit, they don’t owe you anything.”

“They’re like “maybe it WON’T work 100% of the time.” Who cares? You think you won’t make progress? And get 1 step closer to getting better? Ya, done, so do it. You’re never gonna’ reach a level where you can just go up to ANY girl and it’ll just happen like that, boom. Ever. (…) You think you’re going to snap in from a loser to a massive pimp in a day or month? No there’s no escaping it, you’re gonna’ have to put in hard work and pay your damn dues.”

“People who never get rejected or never have to go through anything typically lack in character. The stereotype of the rich kid is not the type that has a lot of character. It’s usually someone who’s had it easy. When you have to work for it, that’s going to help your confidence and self-reliance and give you pride.”

RSD starts every bootcamp with a little speech telling guys it’s not a magic pill that’s going to fix them, they’re going to have to work at it. They can help them get started or iron out little issues, but it’s up to the guys themselves to take it and keep working on themselves to get the hot girls they want.

And here’s Tyler and Jeffy on misogyny, telling guys to let go of their anger issues and bitterness towards women and rejections and girls who don’t want to have sex and Feminists etc:

Just sticking up for RSD ’cause the murderer dude was Subscribed to their channel and people are shitting on PUAs but the specific PUA company he was Subscribed to was actively encouraging much different behavior and expectations than people who haven’t actually watched their content assume.


  • kant
    on May 27, 2014 at 5:50 pm
    Original Link

    I’m going to be pissed if they try to blame this kid’s bullshit on pua. His whole world view was the very antithesis of pua — entitled, misogynistic, thinking everything comes down to money and looks, ignorant of female psychology, unaware that being good with girls is a skill you can work on, etc.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 7:14 pm
      Original Link

      ya, one of the biggest things I learned from PUA is that most of the shit that happened to me as a kid and the mindsets I grew up with etc. weren’t my fault. I was just trapped in the social conditioning that was fed to me when I was under other people’s care. It’s like a fat baby, his parents are responsible for feeding him so it’s not his fault if he’s fat.

      But the 2nd part of that is that anything after I hit my teens/early adulthood WAS my fault. I was making unhealthy unproductive choices in life that were stunting my opportunities and until studying pickup forced me to acknowledge my bad decisions and weakness and confront them head-on and deal with them and create new habits and make new decisions and build healthier mindsets, those wasted years I spent cooped up in my computer room alone like a hermit were my own fault. Just like a person who’s fat past their teens is making bad decisions…they may be ignorant of what good decisions look like, but the knowledge/help is out there for them to learn that, there are plenty of books and websites about healthy eating and dieting.

      I just needed the equivalent of those exercise/diet resources but in the area of socialization and interacting with women…something that would give me the guidance to let me know that 1) I could make more productive decisions that would lead to better opportunities in these areas and 2) what those productive decisions were so I can get a foothold and start making them and eventually learning self-reliance, critical thinking, decision-making, etc. and take control of my life.

      Elliot was a guy who never learned that his own decisions and mindsets caused a lot of his problems. He constantly blamed everyone else and everything else for his failures in life because no one taught him that he could take control of his life.


  • reco
    on May 27, 2014 at 7:33 pm
    Original Link

    @yareally update for today. Hey brother I started putting plan “get flakey back” into action already. lol

    So today my 40YO latina responded to my whos this text with her name. Then we had a flirty sexual text exchange. Nothing too much of substance. Just tried to keep it light and sexual. Still working on my text game. But she was very responsive. Here is the exchange below:

    Her: Hi honey , this Is ____ ____10:18 AM
    Me: Well hello there you sexy thing…have you been behaving yourself? 3:30 PM
    Her: Hi honey I beem great and you , how are you baby ? 3:38 PM
    Me: Doin great…just flirting with you and getting into trouble 3:44 PM
    Her: Haha, I like that honey :-) 3:45 PM
    Me: Lol that’s what all the girls tell me ;) 3:51 PM
    Her: All the girls , I see been busy honey , it doent surprice me you are very handsome :-) 4:45 PM
    Me: You know it babe ;) 8:58 PM
    Her: Of course I do hehe 8:59 PM

    So a little context. The entire time we were talking and seeing each other before she was always very sweet and flirty with me. She just flaked on me twice. She was always so complimentary sometimes it made me think she was just bullshitting me. But she is a latina and they do know how to treat their men. Also she is from Chile and speaks good english but remember it is not her first language. And she got really sexual on our last date before the flakes.

    But as you can see she is very receptive. And ready to play already. I will let her set for a few days and then flirt with her again. But as per the plan I am going to work her slowly.

    No word from 33YO prude after her greeting text yesterday. I am hanging tight on her.

    And a word on my 24YO Redhead. I am going to hold off maybe another week before I ask her out to drinks. I have been reading the ebook you referred me to and I am getting into the part about getting people to do what you want them to do. And I keep thinking how all of these chicks I have trained them to betatize me and treat me like a beta. And what a struggle to get out of that mode. I want to try to avoid doing that with this Redhead. If you have any suggestions on how to get off on the right foot with her that would be awesome.

    Thanks again.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 11:42 pm
      Original Link

      @thrust:

      From one of my replies to reco:

      “If you want to read more on the idea of punishment/reward and bringing order VS allowing chaos to flourish, I’m a big fan of some chapters of this free eBook:

      http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf

      Specifically the “Order VS Disorder” chapter and the chapters under “Authority – The Proper Male Form”, “Function”, and everything under “Part III: Applying The Solution”.

      This is my personal favorite in-depth breakdown/explanation/guideline for this topic and it’s helped a lot of my internal frame in dealing not just with women but with men too. I think it’s an excellent guide to how to properly enforce your boundaries and understand that you’re not a bad person for it, other people need you to do it and to do it competently instead of haphazardly.

      I really recommend it to anyone who finds they have trouble with respect. It’s espeically effective when you deal with highly feminine women who tend to be a lot more up and down in terms of emotional rollercoasters and constantly testing you or bringing you drama. I generally don’t have the same problems with these women that other guys do, but it’s because these sections of this book helped me understand the underlying shit that’s going on and how to properly help bring order to their chaotic behavior.

      I also think this is a great read for older men because a lot of it will go over the heads of younger men who are still figuring their own shit out and first experiencing tests and such. For older men with some life experience, there’s a lot of “hey, that clicks to me, I remember dealing with someone who was like that”.”

      Also two videos describing it’s principles, but the books go into better depth and give actual “how-to”s:


  • Cquilty
    on May 28, 2014 at 7:03 am
    Original Link

    Hey YaReally,

    I’m just curious…from your posts it seems like you’re exclusively focused on nightclub game. Why is that? Do you just enjoy that more than you do daygame? Or do you think that nightclub game is the best way to get access to the most gorgeous girls?

    In a big city one is bound to encounter 9s and 10s during the day at the right location (parks, cafes, etc.).

    Also, do you think as one gets older one should transition to daygame? Or is that a limiting belief? I’m 27 and still climbing up that learning curve, but I suspect once I get a bit older daygame will start to make more sense.

    Anyway, any clarification would be great.


    • YaReally
      on May 28, 2014 at 6:04 pm
      Original Link

      @Cquility
      “from your posts it seems like you’re exclusively focused on nightclub game. Why is that?”

      Nightclub outfits:

      Daytime outfits:

      Nightclub in the winter:

      Daytime in the winter:

      Finding women to approach in a nightclub:

      Finding women to approach in the daytime:


      :)

      “Do you just enjoy that more than you do daygame?”

      I like the energy and the vibe and all the hotties. I was intimidated by it at first, but every guy is.

      “Or do you think that nightclub game is the best way to get access to the most gorgeous girls?”

      There are hot girls in the daytime, but you spend a lot more time looking for them and they’re a lot more dressed down and covered up. I like to see girls done up because I like to screen for girls who like to dress up because I am shallow and appreciate women who enjoy dolling up for me when we hang out lol

      “In a big city one is bound to encounter 9s and 10s during the day at the right location (parks, cafes, etc.).”

      That is a true statement. In smaller towns it’s less likely, unless it’s a college/uni town.

      “Also, do you think as one gets older one should transition to daygame?”

      Whatever you’re comfortable with. When you’re like 40, it’s probably cooler to be connected more. So you roll into a bar/club and you know the bouncers, bartenders, manager, waitresses etc. and are the cool older guy who has his shit together and seems like a guy to know. Rolling in anonymously solo would still be do-able but I imagine it would be a lot harder to feel comfortable in like, a nightclub full of 21yos.

      “Or is that a limiting belief?”

      I’ve seen old dudes kill it. It’s all inside your head. I have buddies a few years younger than me who are too self-conscious to go to nightclubs or just hate the environment/people and feel more at ease in a pub. But I love the nightclub environment and there are plenty of clubs that cater to the 25-45yo demographic these days (since so many people that age are single with money to burn now) if I want to hang with an age-appropriate crowd.

      I’ll probably transition to daygame down the road and slow up on nightclubs and stick to bars/pubs more, but I’m only early 30s right now so I don’t expect that to be for a few more years.

      My buddy (30yo) and I just picked up two 20yos the other weekend. We told them our ages and they have boyfriends. They didn’t care because we’re fun and don’t act like guys our age normally do (given up on life, run-down and worn out, complaining about the noise and being tired and the bar is too crowded and wah wahh wearing shitty clothes that they wear to the office with bad grooming etc.). Most girls who guess our ages guess us to be mid-20s and are mind-blown when they find out our real age. Is it because we’re just incredibly good-looking with flawless young babyface skin? lol no, it’s just that we don’t feel old and they feel what we feel, so they assume we must not be old.

      “I’m 27 and still climbing up that learning curve, but I suspect once I get a bit older daygame will start to make more sense.”

      Daygame is great, it has all sorts of different challenges to it like everyone being able to overhear your conversation (self-consciousness), having to keep your state up when you can’t find suitable targets, avoiding accidentally hitting on underage chicks (lol), stopping people from whatever they’re doing and trying to hold a conversation, nowhere to run away if the interaction is awkward and you’re like sitting beside them on a crowded bus, etc.

      But it also has all sorts of different good things, like there’s almost NO obstacles…no loud music, no cockblocking friends, no AMOG competition, no drunk ADD girly shit, no crowds, very few bitch shields, etc. Plus you get way more bonus/confidence points in the girls mind when you approach during the day where that’s ballsy behavior VS when you approach in a nightclub where it’s expected and they’re often less receptive just due to the sheer amount of attention they have to deal with all night.

      I’m great at nightclub/bar game, but I know that when I get back into daygame it’s going to be an uphill battle and it’s going to basically feel like I’m starting over completely from scratch so I KNOW there’ll be a solid few weeks, maybe a couple months, of growing pains just to get back into it and get over the Approach Anxiety and such.

      But I also know that once I get past that I’ll be having a blast and it’ll be an awesome skill to have and I’ll be pulling chicks regularly with no problems.


  • Cquilty
    on May 29, 2014 at 5:53 am
    Original Link

    @YaReally

    Thanks for the breakdown re: daygame vs nightgame. You’re absolutely right about the trade-offs. Not sure if you read some of my earlier posts, but even as a relative newbie I feel very comfortable doing multiple approaches at a nightclub, getting rejected, recovering, and eventually landing a girl (albeit never above an 8).

    However, daygame approaches when women are stationary (like, sitting down at a cafe when I am walking past them on the street) is a total Approach Anxiety mindfuck for me. Especially at the kinds of places with families. Like you said, the fact that people can overhear everything, and there might even a bit of beta sympathy for the girls who aren’t as comfortable putting up bitch shields if im creeping them out or annoying them.

    My biggest fear is doing a daygame approach in front of my parents while we’re all at a cafe. haha. I’m sure the RSD types would be like… ok that’s what you gotta do.

    P.S.

    Got a nice lay last night with a girl with MASSIVE anti-slut-defense. I’d been trying her for three nights (not consecutive). First night, had her in my bed with her cuter friend…we all just cuddled and made out. Second time, I got naked but she kept her clothes on. Fucking finally I broke down those defenses but it was not easy. She claims shes still in love with her ex-bf…

    Take home lesson….

    When the girl changes her mind once you go get the condom, and says “actually you know we really shouldn’t be doing this” or “this isn’t a good idea”

    fucking AGREE with her… agree and amplify while you plow through physically “I know its a horrible idea blah blah… but I so want to be inside you (escalate escalate) and bam.

    I think I learned that from an RSD vid. But it popped in my head, and that split second decision to AGREE rather than “no its a good idea” or “itll be ok” probably made the decisive different between a lay and cuddleville. Amazing how that works.


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 1:54 pm
      Original Link

      @Cquilty
      “fucking AGREE with her… agree and amplify while you plow through physically “I know its a horrible idea blah blah… but I so want to be inside you (escalate escalate) and bam.”

      Ya my buddy actually just got burned with this last weekend. Had a girl in his bed, was escalating, tried to get her pants off but she wouldn’t budge. Said she was “a nice girl”. He said “nice girls can be bad…” and she wouldn’t budge, because he was trying to logically debate/convince her. He realized after “shit, I should’ve said “I’m a nice boy, we really shouldn’t be doing this..” and keep going”. Agree & Amplify and she would’ve probably gone along with it. it wasn’t that she didn’t want to fuck him necessarily, it’s that the way he tried logically debating/convincing her forced her into a frame where she had to logically debate/convince herself and shut down.

      It’s similar to Boyfriend Destroying, where if a girl is complaining about her boyfriend you shouldn’t talk smack about the guy ’cause the girl is likely to instinctively defend him (you might make fun of your little brother but if *I* make fun of him it’s like woah hey buddy back off that’s my little bro only I get to make fun of him).

      Instead you Agree & Amplify like “ya he sounds like a really nice guy, I’m sure he’s just jealous because he’s worried about losing you. You’re probably the hottest girl he’s ever had and he just doesn’t want other guys talking to you because if he lost you it would devastate him” (making him sound lame and in scarcity and desperate without insulting him), and then she’s likely to go “no you don’t understand he’s NOT a nice guy, this one time he–” and she’ll go into more stuff about how shitty he is lol

      So good on ya, remember that lesson for the future. :D



Alpha Male Game In The Wild

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on May 28, 2014 at 8:51 am
Original Link

I have a question for YaReally and anyone else who would like to chime in.

Lately I’ve been going out and meeting girls, most now in their 20′s. All are hot.

My game has been tight. Attraction, rapport, number close.

Here’s where it gets difficult.

I have these text chats where I’ll open the girl, ping text, then suggest a meet up.

The responses I’ve been getting are: “I’ll see….” “Need to check” “we’ll see” “Let you know….”

You get the idea.

So I’m not sure whether this is 20′s girl flakiness or whether there’s something I’m missing.

Here’s a typical one:

Me: Hey, out having cocktails.

Her: “sounds good”

Me: Let’s meet up when I’m back. When you free to cause trouble?

Her: “haha. not sure. Can cause trouble any time

Me: Will be out at the club. We can go for drinks after.

Her: When you going?

Me: Friday or Sat.

Her; I see. MIght go Fri.

Me: Ok. Don’t step on my feet. We’ll go for drinks after I make my announcements

Her: lol. We will see

Me: You can buy the first round.

Her: Winking icon.

Ok. This is verbatim. But all the texts follow this basic pattern. What’s up with these girls not confirming? I left it at that. But it’s pretty luke-warm considering this particular girl was giving major IOI’s when I met her and even wrote out her number…

I’ve had 3 like this in the last 2 weeks.


  • YaReally
    on May 28, 2014 at 5:24 pm
    Original Link

    @walawala
    Get her in state first. Talk about some shit, build some rapport, flirt a little, get her in a good mood, THEN pitch the meetup:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/4/#comment-heartiste-546932

    Girls, esp young hot ones, have like 20000 events they’re invited to every week and most of those invites are just random throw-out invites like you’re sending them. ESPECIALLY on a Fri/Sat night where her girlfriends haven’t even decided what they’re going to do yet.

    Us guys plan out on Monday where we’re going to drink on Friday, because we don’t have a dozen club promoters and girls we’ve met inviting us out to a dozen different bars for a dozen free drinks or rides in limos or bottle service or dinner or whatever.

    Try getting her out for either a weeknight (like a Tuesday or Wednesday), or if you want to do Fri/Sat, state-pump the FUCK out of her Friday night around 8pm (that’s when her and her GFs are sipping wine while they finish their hair and picking out their outfits and are having their boy-talk lol) and just get into a quick back and forth (no aloof txting, respond instantly) and get her laughing and in a good state. She knows you invited her to shit so if she can make it, she’ll come there or ask you if you’re still going etc. to confirm and then you just say “ya, wear something sexy or I’ll tell the bouncer not to let you in ;)” (doesn’t matter if you have no actual clout to do this with, you’re just teasing and giving her a challenge/compliance thing to make things more exciting/fun for her because she has to impress you now0

    Be prepared to deal with befriending her group and possibly a long as fuck night if you party with them on a Fri/Sat lol

    Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 1:12 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala

      Never mention it again. Assume the flake and don’t txt to confirm plans or anything. Act as if you never ever asked them that lol Like don’t do radio silence but just don’t talk about that meet-up, just make her laugh and build rapport/comfort etc. and flirt.

      They know they had an invite, if they decide to make the time they’ll ask you “so are we still on for Friday?” and the only way you’ll get them to do that is to get them seeing you as awesome and higher value than their other plans, thru your fun flirty comforty txting.

      Then just offer another meetup in a week or two but at a different time/day that might be more optimal, and be sure to do some buildup and get her in state before pitching it.



Alpha Male Game In The Wild

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on May 28, 2014 at 8:51 am
Original Link

I have a question for YaReally and anyone else who would like to chime in.

Lately I’ve been going out and meeting girls, most now in their 20’s. All are hot.

My game has been tight. Attraction, rapport, number close.

Here’s where it gets difficult.

I have these text chats where I’ll open the girl, ping text, then suggest a meet up.

The responses I’ve been getting are: “I’ll see….” “Need to check” “we’ll see” “Let you know….”

You get the idea.

So I’m not sure whether this is 20’s girl flakiness or whether there’s something I’m missing.

Here’s a typical one:

Me: Hey, out having cocktails.

Her: “sounds good”

Me: Let’s meet up when I’m back. When you free to cause trouble?

Her: “haha. not sure. Can cause trouble any time

Me: Will be out at the club. We can go for drinks after.

Her: When you going?

Me: Friday or Sat.

Her; I see. MIght go Fri.

Me: Ok. Don’t step on my feet. We’ll go for drinks after I make my announcements

Her: lol. We will see

Me: You can buy the first round.

Her: Winking icon.

Ok. This is verbatim. But all the texts follow this basic pattern. What’s up with these girls not confirming? I left it at that. But it’s pretty luke-warm considering this particular girl was giving major IOI’s when I met her and even wrote out her number…

I’ve had 3 like this in the last 2 weeks.


  • YaReally
    on May 28, 2014 at 5:24 pm
    Original Link

    @walawala
    Get her in state first. Talk about some shit, build some rapport, flirt a little, get her in a good mood, THEN pitch the meetup:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/4/#comment-heartiste-546932

    Girls, esp young hot ones, have like 20000 events they’re invited to every week and most of those invites are just random throw-out invites like you’re sending them. ESPECIALLY on a Fri/Sat night where her girlfriends haven’t even decided what they’re going to do yet.

    Us guys plan out on Monday where we’re going to drink on Friday, because we don’t have a dozen club promoters and girls we’ve met inviting us out to a dozen different bars for a dozen free drinks or rides in limos or bottle service or dinner or whatever.

    Try getting her out for either a weeknight (like a Tuesday or Wednesday), or if you want to do Fri/Sat, state-pump the FUCK out of her Friday night around 8pm (that’s when her and her GFs are sipping wine while they finish their hair and picking out their outfits and are having their boy-talk lol) and just get into a quick back and forth (no aloof txting, respond instantly) and get her laughing and in a good state. She knows you invited her to shit so if she can make it, she’ll come there or ask you if you’re still going etc. to confirm and then you just say “ya, wear something sexy or I’ll tell the bouncer not to let you in ;)” (doesn’t matter if you have no actual clout to do this with, you’re just teasing and giving her a challenge/compliance thing to make things more exciting/fun for her because she has to impress you now0

    Be prepared to deal with befriending her group and possibly a long as fuck night if you party with them on a Fri/Sat lol

    Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on May 29, 2014 at 1:12 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala

      Never mention it again. Assume the flake and don’t txt to confirm plans or anything. Act as if you never ever asked them that lol Like don’t do radio silence but just don’t talk about that meet-up, just make her laugh and build rapport/comfort etc. and flirt.

      They know they had an invite, if they decide to make the time they’ll ask you “so are we still on for Friday?” and the only way you’ll get them to do that is to get them seeing you as awesome and higher value than their other plans, thru your fun flirty comforty txting.

      Then just offer another meetup in a week or two but at a different time/day that might be more optimal, and be sure to do some buildup and get her in state before pitching it.



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Eivind Berge
on May 26, 2014 at 9:58 am
Original Link

I don’t think Rodger was a homosexual. That’s not the impression I got from reading the entire manifesto. He stabbed his male roommates for tactical reasons, not because stabbing is a more personal method of dispatch. If he had started shooting at his apartment, somebody would have called the cops and he would have never made it to the sorority house and town. Then the rampage would have been over before it began. He wanted to do as much damage as possible to both sexes, and his roommates were merely easy targets who could be stabbed in their sleep. He intended to kill many more, but got stopped pretty quickly.


  • yeahokcool
    on May 26, 2014 at 10:12 am
    Original Link

    I actually read the entire manifesto as well. Fascinating stuff that, at times, seemed, like CH suggested, to be fake and exaggerated.

    However, I’m strongly of the opinion that Rodger was homosexual. His description of girls was actually very blasé and uninspired. In short, he mostly just describes them as being ideally blonde and holding his hand while they walk down the beach. No real description or apparent interest in ACTUALLY having sex with a woman. The most graphic description of sex occurs when he stands outside his sister’s door while she is getting railed by her bf.

    When it comes to men, however, there are no shortage of details and superlatives (look up how many times the word “hunk” is used to describe men). He also has a very strong (albeit not explicitly sexual) attraction to a male friend named Addison. Finally, I’ll note that his final solution involved removing sex from the world by putting all women in concentration camps and starving all but a few to death. He then proposes that the survivors be bred in sexless laboratories. Only then, he believes, will men be able to reach their true potential.

    If that’s not gay, I don’t know what is.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 1:00 pm
      Original Link

      @yeahokcool
      “In short, he mostly just describes them as being ideally blonde and holding his hand while they walk down the beach. No real description or apparent interest in ACTUALLY having sex with a woman”

      Just want to point out that this is actually how a lot of guys who haven’t had sex view relationships. Once you start getting laid, and especially do it thru game where you really see behind the curtain on what sexual relationships are, you can tend to forget that the generic Nice Guy AFC beta chode doesn’t view women in terms of “I want to blow my load across her face and call her my dirty little whore” lol He may watch porn but those aren’t “real” women to him, it’s a separate world. “Real” women to him are like he sees in the Disney culture MSM, where you have intimate love-making after you fall for eachother and hold hands on park benches and shit.

      That’s why he didn’t just hit up a whore-house, he was looking for an actual intimate connection, not just a hole to blow his spunk in. A big part of why anti-gamer white knight types reject game so vehemently is that it challenges their Disney view of women and relationships.

      How do I know all this? ’cause I was a virgin longer than this kid and I viewed it the same way. I wasn’t thinking “I wish Suzy at school would bend over and take my cock up her ass”, I was thinking “I wish Suzy at school would look at me and smile in class one day and maybe we’d get assigned a project together and have to work together and I could confess to her that I’m in love with her and ask her if she’d maybe like to go out on a date sometime and she’d say yes and on that date we’d hold hands! wow, that would be amazing! We’d live happily ever after, cuddled up on the couch together snuggling and kissing and watching movies…that would be amazing.” And I was watching all sorts of porn thru this lol

      So I wouldn’t read homosexuality into this guy’s issues. His case is pretty cut and dry…he’s simply an example of someone who FULLY bought in to our Blue Pill society’s brainwashing that “once you get the car and the money and a nice suit you get the girls. It just HAPPENS! …oh it didn’t happen for you? Well that’s your fault, you entitled misogynist, women don’t owe you sex! Now go away so we don’t have to think about you, while we shame and berate every resource that could possibly help you out and give you some hope. We expect you to just vanish and live out the next 60 years of your life accepting that you are nothing and will never have anything and should never try to climb out of that box we’ve put you in.”

      Like I say, the scary part to me is that I don’t see any reason why this won’t happen more. Until you encourage men to access resources that teach them what to do with the tools they have to get things that THEY want (as opposed to being used as tools to satisfy everyone ELSE’S needs while telling them their needs are unimportant as they suffer silently), they’ll be frustrated and lost…and if society continues to shit upon those men for not instinctively understanding what to do with those tools, well, you’ve got a whole lot of angry frustrated directionless young men out there who are very VERY unhappy with life and society.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 7:03 pm
      Original Link

      “Welcome to the real world. Survival of the fittest and he was in no way fit for this chaotic sinister ironic beautiful place.”

      But he still exists, and he’s out there driving the same roads you and your future children are for the next 60 years, able to purchase the same guns you are, able to build the same homebrew explosives you are, and you’re too wrapped up in yourself to help guys like him recover from the unfortunate luck of the draw they had in the genetic lottery.

      These guys exist, they don’t just vanish when you say “tough shit, welcome to the real world”. They have 60+ years of frustration ahead of them and people like you telling them they aren’t fit to survive and that they were either born with it or they aren’t and if they’re inferior they’re just out of luck.

      Next thing you know we have more of these guys exploding in killing sprees and more innocent dead bodies piling up.

      But it’s awesome that you got a handjob in the hallway at school thanks for sharing what a badass you are, I’m sure it’s going to help guys like this out. lol



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Aquila
on May 26, 2014 at 10:37 am
Original Link

18-22 is a particularly hard age for a lot of dudes to get laid or a decent date too. This is because at that age you’re competing with not only your own age group, but guys who are older than you (heck, at 25 I was getting more 18-21 year old girls than I did when I was that age), and society has made any girl under 18 essentially “off limits.”

This is the second Asian kid who committed mass murder because he couldn’t get his boner taken care of. Recall the Virginia Tech shooting, and how the little Korean guy complained that no women liked him and how he was a virgin as well. I think this throws a wrench into the whole “Asians are good for European society because high IQ” thing. Asian men can’t integrate into white society very well, much of the time. Look at all the little Indian/Pakistani chodes in the PUA universe. They try so hard to get a white girl in a world of white rules and usually fail hard no matter what. In their culture, all they would have to do is tell mom and dad that it is time for a ho and their parents would find a few chicks and he’d pick from among them. Asian men should go back to Asia where society is rigged in their favor, not try to compete with white men who will win the romance game with women of any race. White men dominate the romance game, it’s a forte of ours. While I believe we need to return to more conservative times as far as finding a wife goes, most Asian men have little chance of succeeding on our turf, and since semen on the brain from never getting laid drives men insane, Asian men can be a danger to our society. I say this as a man with a ton of Asian friends, from being stationed in Korea. I’ll tell you what, the Korean men in Korea are generally way happier than Korean men in the US, and I’ve known a few ex-Korean Soldiers who have immigrated to the US only to return to their motherland shortly thereafter. On guard duty once a Korean Soldier told me how he loves white women and wants to go to America to find one, and another Korean Soldier who studied abroad at a school not far from where I grew up chimed in and told him that white girls are nearly impossible for most Asian men to get. Factor in the fact that Koreans have the world’s smallest dicks and it’s a shut out. My advice to all Asians – Indian, Korean, Chinese or whatever – go to greener pastures, which means go someplace you have a good chance, rather than trying hard to out game white guys. You also might want to keep Asian women from coming to the US for study abroad’s, because it’s seriously true that once you go white you don’t go back. A lot of the Korean girls I dated in Korea had spent time in the US and came back with unrequited white fever.


  • YaReally
    on May 26, 2014 at 1:14 pm
    Original Link

    lol maybe FOBs are starting from a rough spot. But the current gen asian dudes growing up in Western culture are fully capable of competing in the SMV, even for hot blonde white chicks in the bar scene. One of my major social circles a while back was a bunch of cool asian/indian dudes.

    And even then the FOBy dudes can put in the hours and learn to do good. The Engrish accent is usually the only real hitch ’cause that seems to be a bitch to get rid of and smooth out. Everything else tho is fine as long as they learn to develop confidence and charisma and present that in girls’ faces like a boss.

    It just comes down to how much exposure they’ve had to game and how much unwiring they have to do from their super repressed home-life upbringings (compared to white dudes). But it’s entirely do-able. Seen it first-hand many times.



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Harland
on May 26, 2014 at 11:42 am
Original Link

Oh, for fuck’s sake, he wasn’t a fag. That’s just confirmation bias…when you go witch-hunting, you’re going to find witches. If he was a fag then sex would be easy-peasy. That’s how AIDS got started, fags will have sex with each other at the drop of a hat.

And fuck all of you who say “DURR DURR he should have just gotten a whore.” That’s not the goddamn point. It’s not about getting your dick wet. It’s about getting validation from a woman that you are a desirable man, in the only way that matters. If I had a penny for every time a woman said, “Oh, you’re such a nice man, you’re going to make some girl very happy some day,” I’d have a couple dollars saved up by now.

Once upon a time, I was much like him. I was the same age, 22. Only, I was too much of a chickenshit to murder my way through a sorority house like I wanted to. I should have killed myself to stop the pain of involuntary celibacy, but I was too much of a chickenshit to do that, either. So what did I do? I suffered. I suffered through seven more years of virginity, all the while watching everyone else around me get laid. Even my nerd friends eventually got girls. But me? No. Not for me. I played Magic: the Gathering, Talisman, and Nethack just like them, and yet no girl wanted anything to do with me. At length, one dark night, I discovered alt.seduction.fast and learned what girls really want, and why they lie about it. I used this new science (if it produces reproducible results, then it’s science) to poke my first girl when I was twenty-nine years old.

Let’s assume he’s me for a moment. Tell him, just persevere, don’t worry, you’ll get laid seven years from now. Would you even agree to that? Making a decision and sticking with it was the most manly act he ever performed. Sure, his decision was mass murder, but hey.

And for all you haters who want to tell me that I was a loser, unmasculine, I deserved it…well I suppose you’re right. All of those were accurate accusations. I was in a box with no way out. I have noticed an ugly streak in some of these men’s websites where the contributors seem to enjoy hurling abuse and hatred towards fellow men and have zero interest in helping them. Even the ones who don’t want to be helped…who are precisely the ones who need it the most. It’s really sad, it’s worse than what feminists do.


  • YaReally
    on May 26, 2014 at 1:35 pm
    Original Link

    Real talk right here. Props on taking action and digging yourself out of a hole. Tyler from RSD often mentions how his first big mind-fuck was that “talking to girls” was a SKILL that you could actually IMPROVE at if you did it a lot. The whole “you either have it or you don’t” mindset that society teaches people is really damaging and contributes to the feeling of helplessness when you’re one of these guys.

    I was a virgin till 23-24 (can’t quite remember honestly) till I found the community. I wasn’t as angry as this kid or you because I had kind of just accepted that I was one of those guys who just didn’t deserve girls and I was hoping that someday maybe when I had a career etc. there’d be some cute girl in my office that would like me and we’d date and live happily ever after etc. (didn’t even think about fucking her in my imagination, so I agree on the “it was about more than sex” thing), but while I was fairly content with my boring life I definitely felt the same frustrations of not having the universe deliver me girls like I was conditioned by society to believe would happen if I was just a Nice Guy and supplicate to everyone all the time and I always felt a little bit “out of the loop” from the rest of the world.

    Agree 100% with everything you wrote here.

    “I was in a box with no way out.”

    This is really the main thing…these guys are trapped in a box that they actually constructed themselves by following society’s guidelines (“surprise, you got the exact opposite of what we promised you by doing what we say! Psyche lololz”) and no one is giving them any kind of way out of it. Game is the way out of it, but now that game is on the MSM radar a lot of these guys are conditioned to not even look into game because Jezebel told them it was hateful manipulative misogyny to even look at a list of steps like “go out and smile at 10 girls. next week try saying hi to them!”

    I’m hoping this whole situ doesn’t trigger clones, but no one except PUAs and the Manosphere really seem to want to discuss what made this kid tick. All the MSM and Feminist sites are just shitting on him and anyone in his boat and wondering when they’ll just go away so they can go back to bitching about how some creepy loser practically raped them by daring to make eye-contact with her as she walked past him.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 2:23 pm
      Original Link

      @PWN
      “Don’t you regret not having as much fun before 24 as you could have had?”

      Ya, of course. I basically wasted what could’ve been an amazing teenage to early-adulthood because I didn’t know I could get better at this stuff, or how to get better at it, and was conditioned to follow the Nice Guy mold. And at the time I was cool with it, I just thought that’s how life works.

      It’s sad, but regretting it doesn’t really do anything. Hell I think I appreciate the life I live now and all the opportunities I’ve created for myself BECAUSE I wasted all those years. I have a very “enjoy the moment” mindset because I don’t plan to waste anymore years of my life.

      I can’t get that time back, but I can make sure I don’t repeat the same mistakes.

      “I feel like this despite that time being ok, but I feel like it’s never going to be as good as it could have been. I suppose you make it better by having sex with girls of that age as you get older.”

      lol, I did tap a 20yo recently, but I don’t really relate the two things. There’s no sense dwelling on the past, what’s done is done, focus on right now and the future.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 4:42 pm
      Original Link

      @Slothrop
      “Rodgers was far more fucked in the head than the “beta nerd nice guy” stereotype.”

      Agreed. That’s why I keep mentioning that he was clearly fucked in the head in my posts.

      But all the kid needed was to act normal enough to land a few hand-holding dates. He was clearly intelligent and spergy or not, he could’ve learned to mimic enough attractive behaviors that he could land a bit of female attention. Would it have prevented this whole thing from going down? Who knows, maybe it would just delay it. But it would have been better than society’s option of “wait for him to off himself and hope he doesn’t take anyone out with him”.

      “He couldn’t even socially function on a basic level without throwing drinks at people or attacking them randomly at parties.”

      Lots of guys have anger issues that get worked out when they get help with them. This kid of thing is frustration lashing out. It’s like saying a kid who vandalizes his school is impossible to help because he can’t even function at a basic level without causing damages to shit.

      Again, the kid was fucked and he’s not going to turn into some super PUA wizard pulling down blonde 10s left and right but he might have been able to get enough female attention to take the edge off the hate building up. Instead he found the PUA-Hate site which is basically a bunch of guys like him who help feed eachother’s victim mentalities and amplify his negative mindsets instead of helping.

      “This guy was well-aware of pua and NEVER approached anyone because he was so socially malfunctional. He simply could not do it.”

      He had legs and a mouth. He was physically capable of doing it. But nobody took the time to show him how or to help him understand why he SHOULD approach. Is it something a weekend long bootcamp or some free YouTube videos would fix? Fuck no lol A person would even have to get this kid’s respect in the FIRST place for him to even begin to listen to them, and then unwire a ton of fucked up wiring before they could even start fixing shit with him.

      But if getting that kind of help wasn’t so shunned by the MSM, maybe he could have found a mentor who would take the time to help him work through that shit for a few years and at least diffuse a bit of the hatred.

      “Plus, to me the whole rich kid narcissistic “alpha male” act he put on was the exact opposite of the “guy in the box” you describe. He had every social advantage and couldn’t stumble into a fuck.”

      This is just jealousy/bitterness because you probably don’t have those things and think “if I had them I’d get laid like crazy, stupid kid didn’t know what REAL problems are”. You also probably don’t hang around rich good-looking guys with all these advantages who can’t stumble into a fuck because if you did then you would know that this is a lot more common than people believe. Hollywood tells us that these guys have no problems and we buy into it, but when you actually hang out with these guys you realize that you could throw a chick spread-legged at them and the majority of them won’t have a clue how to get their dick in her from there.

      That attitude, again, helps re-enforce their frustrations because you’re basically saying “you should be getting laid, anyone could if they had what you have, you’re a fucking loser” and no one has any sympathy for them because they put them in the box of “you can’t have any problems” just like Feminists put men in the same “check your privilege, shitlord” box when they try to express that they have actual problems and frustrations in life.

      So no, I won’t stop it. Because there might be some other Rodger out there reading this going “wait, so there might actually be help out there?” and start looking into finding a mentor.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:17 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      “My analysis is that she knows I cannot see her on the weekends and is trying to angle for me to offer to see her this upcoming week. What do you think? Should I respond? Or should I just stay silent?”

      Silence. She doesn’t deserve your attention because she misbehaved. You’re teaching her “if you misbehave, then I will take my attention away. You won’t get it back just by calling me darling or because you waaaaaaant it. You did something I don’t approve of, so I’m not interested in communicating with you right now.” If you cave too soon, she doesn’t learn a lesson, she just learns “okay I just have to let him cool off a few days and then re-initiate”.

      One key thing to keep in mind is when you DO contact her again, in a week or so, initiate it YOUR way. ie – don’t wait for her to send “hey darling! are you okay?? I miss you….” and then respond with like a “hey, I was busy with work. Let’s hang out Friday” or whatever, where you’re responding to her action. Instead you would ignore her attempts to get back in touch with you and instead send out of the blue on a day you haven’t heard from her, something like “hey, are you free Friday?” with no discussion of where you’ve been or anything. She can ask you questions about it in person on the date (and you just say you were busy with work or personal stuff and change the subject).

      So the idea is kind of that she learns that HER actions don’t get your attention. ie – her rolodex of methods to try to get you to respond don’t work, she has no way to influence you to contact her if she fucks up, which makes her less inclined to take your time/energy for granted and fuck up again, because she doesn’t have a way to get your attention back. If, say, she sent “why are you so mad at me?? :( :( I miss you darling…”, and you responded to that txt, that would teach her “okay, if I fuck up again, it’s okay because I just have to guilt trip him and then he’ll give me his attention again, so it’s okay to fuck up because I have a method to get his attention back.”

      Make sense? Understand that she’s not doing this consciously or maliciously, she’s simply running on emotional instinct to shit-test you and see where your boundaries are, and she’s doing this because instinctively she’s wanting to make sure you’re a “man”. Deep down she’s reading into all of this like “how would he handle real life problems, does he cave on his boundaries and values? how would he be as a father figure? can he be someone I respect and who helps bring order to my life when I need that? or can I make him budge by batting my eyelashes and what does that say about his values and strength as a man?”

      In a way, she actually WANTS you to not contact her because she WANTS you to be the guy that she can’t control because that means no one can control you which means you’re a badass in life, and you choose to allow her to be a part of that life and that holds a lot more value to her than some lame guy begging her to be a part of his life.

      If you want to read more on the idea of punishment/reward and bringing order VS allowing chaos to flourish, I’m a big fan of some chapters of this free eBook:

      http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf

      Specifically the “Order VS Disorder” chapter and the chapters under “Authority – The Proper Male Form”, “Function”, and everything under “Part III: Applying The Solution”.

      This is my personal favorite in-depth breakdown/explanation/guideline for this topic and it’s helped a lot of my internal frame in dealing not just with women but with men too. I think it’s an excellent guide to how to properly enforce your boundaries and understand that you’re not a bad person for it, other people need you to do it and to do it competently instead of haphazardly.

      I really recommend it to anyone who finds they have trouble with respect. It’s espeically effective when you deal with highly feminine women who tend to be a lot more up and down in terms of emotional rollercoasters and constantly testing you or bringing you drama. I generally don’t have the same problems with these women that other guys do, but it’s because these sections of this book helped me understand the underlying shit that’s going on and how to properly help bring order to their chaotic behavior.

      I also think this is a great read for older men because a lot of it will go over the heads of younger men who are still figuring their own shit out and first experiencing tests and such. For older men with some life experience, there’s a lot of “hey, that clicks to me, I remember dealing with someone who was like that”.

      “Or should I send the text that says “I will wait until you get everything sorted out you seem like you have a lot of stuff going on right now”?”

      Oop, I didn’t realize you haven’t sent that one yet. Send this one as a response to her first txt that asks if something’s wrong or if you’re mad at her or if you’re ignoring her. Don’t make it butthurt sounding, just a purely logical “We’re fine. It just sounds like you have a lot going on right now, we can try again when you get things sorted out and have time to come see me.”

      The reason this one is okay to send, after my big rant above about initiating on your own terms, is because she doesn’t know what she did wrong or how to fix it without that text.

      This is covered in that eBook, but the idea is that when you discipline someone you need them to understand WHY they’re being disciplined and how they can fix it or avoid it in the future, otherwise they don’t learn anything and they interpret it as just you being chaotic and cruel because they don’t understand where it’s coming from or how to avoid it…it may still help make them “feel bad” which could make them easier to deal with, but that’s not a productive relationship in the long-run, that’s simply an abusive relationship. A productive one is where they’re given the opportunity to correct and change their chaotic behavior patterns and grow into orderly behavior that allows you two to be together which you both would like and benefit from.

      So right NOW, if you haven’t sent that text, she’s not sure why she’s being punished exactly. She might be able to guess, but even then she isn’t quite sure how to avoid it…and again she might be able to guess THAT too, but that’s rolling the dice and could take a while for her to recognize and understand the patterns of what’s going on…so I prefer to send a text like your one up above that let’s her know basically “look, I’m not going to chase a flakey girl around, if you want to meet up then make some effort or I will walk. Now I’m going to go radio silent for a couple weeks so you can feel what life is like without me in it, and then I’m going to give you another opportunity to try again, now that you understand the consequences and how to avoid them, and YOU are free to decide whether you’d prefer life with me or without me.” This is NOT being controlling, you’re not a bad guy for this as Feminists would probably tell you you are, she is still completely free to do as she pleases…you’re simply saying “I expect a certain type of behavior from the girls I spend my time with. I would prefer if you chose to follow that behavior so we could be together, but if you choose not to follow that behavior, that’s alright, I wish you the best of luck out there.” It’s just having self-respect and boundaries.

      “Also no word on the 40YONurse. I did not expect anything but I am figuring contact her later in the week . Think that is about right?”

      Ya that should be fine. That one legit likes you and wants to hook up again, she just has life shit getting in the way. I wouldn’t worry about that one at all, but I would expect to only see her once or twice a month ultimately so you might want to simply send a fluff text where you fully expect the conversation to just be a quick little 2 or 3 txt back and forth with an abrupt ending while she goes off to handle her shit…like don’t expect a big long in-depth conversation. Just shoot a fun little thing like your “I think this person’s a spy” thing so she knows your guys’ line of communications is still open. But you would be fine not sending anything, this one should be on the hook solid and will let you know when she’s free to hook up again.

      -

      Alright now this next girl, the 40YO Chile chick. I’m going to write HOW you would handle this, so you understand the dynamics for future similar situations, but I’m going to HIGHLY recommend that you let this one go and just stop communicating with her if she knows ANYTHING about your life (your last name, where you work, your wife/kids’ names, where you normally live, your phone number if it’s somehow linked to your name (type it into Google and see if your name comes up), ANYTHING that she could do some detective work on you and find a way to communicate with your wife/kids/work/social circle/etc.).

      If you are 100% anonymous to her beyond your first name basically, THEN go ahead and give this a try. But since you were a beta to her way back and spilled the beans on your situ, you may have given her some kind of information that she can use to find a way to contact people in your life and if that’s the case ***DO NOT EXECUTE THIS PLAN.*** Just walk away.

      You saw what happened with the 26YO when you pissed her off. It’s not worth risking fucking your marriage/life up for this girl, because unfortunately the only way you’re going to get out of the beta box that you put yourself in when you first dated her, is to piss her off lol Because you have to show her that you’re not that guy anymore, and that’s going to require doing stuff that frustrates her and at points makes her angry because you’re not getting with the plan like she expects.

      So that’s my disclaimer. If she can fuck up your life, just bail on the whole situation because you’re not likely to get in her pants by being nice and chasing her around just like you didn’t before, so that’s a waste of your time, and getting in her pants will require pissing her off so it’s all around just better to walk away if she can fuck your life up and somehow contact your wife/kids/work/friends/etc. Even if you’ve just told her what line of work you’re in, can she Google the top companies in that line and look for a pic of you on their site or your first name and where they’re located and deduce who you are and Google the rest of your info from there?

      Okay, so that all said, here’s how you would turn this one around:

      “She had been through two divorces and was very prudish at first also. I fell for it. She bragged about other men and how much she made them wait and I was getting in so quickly.”

      lol this is all just her inflating her own value, and she only does it when she thinks you’ll fall for it. I had a girl the other weekend who kept trying to put me in the “you have to wait 3 dates and impress me on them” frame but I just lol’ed and ignored it all. Put out on the first date. But guaranteed that stuff normally works on guys and she just throws it out there to see if they’ll bite.

      “Talking very suggestive about how much she wants to be with me. Etc. I have not responded much. Kind of let it die thinking she is just a fucking flake.”

      If you were a normal dude I would say ya don’t waste your time on this shit. It’s similar to the 26YO (and now the 33YO princess) where she already has a vision of you as the guy who will chase her around for her validation (the sexting is just to keep you interested, but she won’t quite put out…she’s basically doing what strippres do to get guys to run to the ATM to pay for “one more dance” lol).

      But I think you could handle turning this around if you wanted to try because your recent experiences are all kind of related to this situation. I think you would be able to figure out how to make progress with this on your own at this point because it’s basically applying a lot of the things you’ve been learning the past month or so with these other girls so you are theoretically pretty well equipped to come up with at least a solid outline of a plan. :)

      “Her third attempt to reach me. And I have not responded.”

      Good. Remember, you have to undo a lot of her beta vision of you now. You have to break your old patterns in her mind or she’ll simply put you back into that box you were in and treat you the same (dangle the attention/sexuality carrot in front of you till you try to reach for it and then tug it away).

      “So my prediction is that she is still into me and wants me to chase.”

      Yup. 100%.

      “But I am not going to chase.”

      Good. You chased before, so she’s expecting you to chase again. She will attempt to go through her personal rolodex of behaviors to try to get you back into that frame because you’ve already shown her in the past that that’s a frame you belong in. So you will have some hardcore work to do in terms of breaking out of expected behaviors in her mind. It could take a bit of time, but a lot of that time will be just ignoring her txts and not chasing her, so it’s not a huge time investment in the long-run…it’s more developing self-control to avoid responding to all her txts and chasing all her dangling carrots, and flipping the script to keep yourself just out of arms reach of her until she chases hard.

      “I am thinking about sending her a playful and sexy text.”

      Totally fine. Go for it. But keep reading ’cause I’m about to throw a pattern-breaking twist in there lol:

      “And see if she wants to meet up with me.”

      DON’T do this. There’s the twist. Remember that post I made about how with certain girls you may have to play a bit more hardcore by giving them attention but NOT trying to meet up with them?

      That’s the move to use here. ie – put yourself in the mindset that you won’t meet up with this girl for at LEAST 2 months. Maybe even 3 months. I’m not even exaggerating. You put yourself into a huge beta frame in her mind, so the second you start chasing her, especially the week that she gets back in touch with you, she’s just going to go “yep, just like I thought, he’s still that guy” and she’s going to flake on you or go out with you and put up too much resistance to have sex because that’s the old pattern she’s used to.

      So what you want to do is dangle the carrot…give her ONLY sexual attention (don’t respond to txts about work or her kids or her drama or anything, every conversation you have is sexual from now on), and do NOT push for any kind of meet-up. At all. End conversations abruptly (just quit txting mid-convo) and do NOT suggest meeting up in any way.

      What SHOULD happen is that she’ll be confused for the first couple weeks and try a few more rolodex things, specifically escalating her sexting, trying to get you to ask her out. She’ll probably start with stuff like “I miss you…” and “it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever babe…” etc. which is the first carrot. You just brush it off by not responding at all or being aloof like “lol don’t get all clingy on me now” etc. Not responding is best because it’s harder to fuck that up and it lets her fill in a lot of stuff in her head and gives her hamster a workout.

      Then she’ll probably send you some sexy pics because the sexy txts alone aren’t working. But you’re going to act like a stripper…teasing without letting her have the carrot. So you could say stuff like “mmm I miss that body…” or “mmm I forgot how sexy you are in person.” But you DON’T suggest a meet-up. If she hints at one, you just walk away from the conversation again.

      When that isn’t working (depending on how many options she has, this could all be be about 2-3 weeks in or it could take a month and a half…I’m guessing because she’s 40 it’ll be more like 2-3 weeks because she doesn’t have a ton of options and you’ll be a curious new puzzle for her but if you were SUPER beta to her and if she’s not a frequent txter etc. it could go into months). Anyway, when that isn’t working, she’ll escalate more and SHOULD start pitching the meet-up herself.

      So she should start txting stuff like “babe I miss you…when am I going to see you again?” and stuff, where she won’t try to set up the actual date, but she’ll be letting you know in no uncertain terms “I want you to ask me out again”.

      But AGAIN you’re going to be the stripper who runs her thumbs under the line of her panties but won’t QUITE take them off until your customer runs to the ATM to pay for another song lol

      The reason for this is that you have to undo all that beta shit you did before. If you pitch the meet-up before she’s basically chasing you incredibly hardcore, she’ll flake on you or not put out. So you have to step this up way harder than you would with a girl who didn’t already have you in a beta box in her mind.

      So what you’re going to do here is you’re going to start to let her think she’s winning you over slightly, but not really. You’re going to do what a hot 10 would do to her orbiter chode 6: “I miss you too babe…I want to see you again, I just have a lot going on with work right now so I don’t know if I have the time this week.” Or like “mmmm I do miss seeing that sexy body in person. I’ll let you know if I’m free next week.” (and then you never mention it again lol Like you’re not actually seeing if you’re free and getting back to her, you’re just saying “I’ll let you know” and then acting like that conversation never happened).

      Then she should be at the point where she’s going “so?? are you free this week?? xoxo” type shit when you don’t bring it up. And at this point you’re going to set up a flake and flake on her lol

      This sounds like passive-aggressive punishment bla bla bla but it’s just to create some emotional investment on her end and to help get you out of the beta box that you put yourself in prior. Like what says “I’m not the orbiter chode who’s going to chase you around for sex” more than flaking on a date after she’s basically throwing herself at you with her sexuality?

      So, and this’ll probably be like a month or two in (again depending on how fast she’s escalating things), you’re going to do something like, when she’s pitching for you two to meet up, “ok I have some free time Friday night. Meet me at blah at 8pm.” Then on that day just go radio silent on her. Ideally she gets done up and ready to go and txts you to confirm and then gets no response and is like “wtf??” after having invested some effort on her end.

      She’s gonna’ be PISSED lol. Expect your phone to blow up with txts and probably an angry voicemail and shit. This is the part where, if she can fuck with your life, and she’s at all unstable, she’ll fuck with it, so this is the stage that makes me give that disclaimer up above of not trying this.

      The next day you txt her “sorry babe work stuff came up” or “sorry babe fell asleep lol” the same way a hot chick would. Like it’s no big deal and you didn’t even realize you committed some kind of faux pas. She will be pissed and may even go radio silent on you for a week and pretend to delete your number etc. With all this you treat her like the 26YO where you just don’t explain yourself, don’t get sucked into qualifying yourself or your reasons or answering her drama, just chill and ignore most of her angry txts. She’ll be all “you could have at least txted me you jerk I got all done up for you” scolding you and you just be like “lol sorry I fell asleep. I’ll make it up to you next time” (note: even if she intended to flake, she’ll pretend she was all excited and maybe even went to the venue etc., just on principle lol)

      When she’s over being mad at you (could take a week or two), she’ll give you another chance to “make it up to her”. She’ll be trotting out the big “you owe me an expensive dinner and champaign and and–” princess attitude. What you do here is go back to what you did before where you flirt with her but then don’t pitch an actual meet-up. Dangle the carrot for another week or so. Eventually she’ll get to the point (this’ll probably be a solid month and a half to 2 months in) where she’s demanding you take her out. She’ll probably start sounding a little princess entitled attitudey at this point because she’s frustrated.

      Now here’s where you pull the carrot away AGAIN. “I don’t know, I was looking forward to seeing you again babe but I don’t think I like your attitude lately. You used to just be happy to come see me, but now it sounds like you’re more interested in the dinners and presents than me.” and make her qualify hard that she likes you. This’ll help diffuse her expectations of dinner/flowers/presents/apologies/etc.

      You SHOULD be able to get to a point where you can finally suggest a date and she doesn’t flake but also doesn’t expect a bunch of free shit from you. Like everything balances out and evens out to where you’re back to meeting up just to flirt and try to hook up, except now she’s super invested in you and you’re a lot more likely to actually have sex together.

      So there you go. Pretty fucking elaborate and long, hey? Buuut, it should work out pretty close to how I’m describing and turn things around.

      It’s important to understand that the only reason you have to run all this ridiculous shit is that you actively helped her put you in a beta box in your first Blue Pill dating sessions. If you had been all badass Red Pill from the start, you would probably have fucked her on the 1st or 2nd date with minimal investment. She sent out her frame, you fell into it repeatedly, and now you have to break out of it to fix this.

      You COULD try just saying “hey meet me at blah”, and she MIGHT show up, like you may just have luckily hit some window of opportunity where she needs validation right now (maybe she just broke up etc.) or is super horny and you MIGHT get the lay…but I’d put the odds way down at like 10% chance of it. This big plan is long and elaborate, but I’d put it’s odds around 80-90% chance of getting the lay.

      Even if you don’t try this out, the important thing to take away from all this is that that first impression is VERY important. A big part of why I don’t get a lot of LMR or have to take girls on more than one (two absolute MAX) dates (and my dates are just grabbing a couple beers at the bar down the street and then back to my place) to get the lay is that from the moment they meet me I’m outside of the beta Provider frame. They’ll still test me and try to get me to fall into it, but I recognize the tests and blast through them and keep myself out of that frame, so I don’t end up having to climb out of the box most normal non-game guys have to climb out of or work from inside. I’m literally on a different path/course in the girl’s mind than other guys, which is part of what we call being Secret Society (aka Tyler’s big article on that from way back in the old PUA days), so different rules apply for me.

      Hope this helps. Give that Manhood 101 stuff a read when you have some downtime, it’s good shit. Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:21 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      Got an epic huge reply in moderation so check for it. I saved it incase the hamsters eat it lol

      “@yareally, on the 40yo Latina that sent me the happy Memorial Day text today. I am thinking I should send her a “who’s this?” Text tonight. What do you think man?”

      Ya, do that. But do NOT pitch a meet-up. Do NOT. My post will explain in depth why. With this one you’re going to dangle a carrot and flirt but not actually try to meet up with her. You have to break out of the beta frame you put yourself in with her before and that’s going to require you to actively not chase her. Try to keep the txting her to a minimum till you read my post so you understand what’s going on exactly, but a “who’s this?” tonight is alright. Just do NOT pitch a meet up, and do NOT agree to one if she pitches one or you’ll end up with her flaking or not putting out, because you taught her that that’s what your relationship is lol


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 9:52 pm
      Original Link

      @Slothrop
      “This kid needed real professional help to get his brain in a somewhat working order before he started interacting with women.”

      And what professional help would he get? Psychologists trained to try to force more Blue Pill nonsense on him that doesn’t jive with the world he sees around him? Throw him on some more drugs and numb him so we don’t have to deal with him? Advice from some psyche chick who has no idea what it’s like to be a man or some old psyche dude who married his high-school girlfriend and got divorced recently? Are those people going to help a kid who’s biggest frustration that he’s advertising to the entire world in his YouTube videos is “I don’t know how to attract girls”?

      “By the time he was in college he was too far gone and his attitudes were completely toxic.”

      Agreed, it would have been better to get to him sooner. Which is why the MSM berating game/red pill teaching is doing damage, because it’s preventing a kid like this from getting help earlier when someone could make a difference.

      But he still could have been given enough tools to maybe take the edge off his killing spree notions if someone had gotten to him in his late teens. Even a guy who’s faking it can pull off getting a few dates if he knows exactly WHAT to fake.

      “But that’s not the prescription when you’re talking about with guys with severe social disorders.”

      Okay, so what’s your solution? You don’t have one, and that’s kind of my point.

      Everyone will point at kids like this and go “wow that guy is fucked” and then move on and just kind of hope he “goes away”. Except he doesn’t go away, he’s a human being who has 60+ years ahead of him in the society he doesn’t understand how to fit into and no one will help him try to because they just go “that kid is fucked up, he needs professional help” without really thinking about what that means and what that help would BE and how it would even begin to solve the things that are frustrating him and building up the ticking time bomb inside his head.

      PUA/Game/Red Pill/Manosphere/hell even MGTOW, are all at least TRYING to give answers to these guys that will actually help them deal with the shit that’s frustrating them. Because you don’t have a solution for them, you just write them off as “beyond help”, Feminists don’t have a solution they call him creepy and hope he just goes away and doesn’t exist anymore, his dad wasn’t around to give him any solutions, he can’t have any male mentors in his life to give him solutions because we live in pedophile-paranoia and keep adult males away from kids in their developing years, the psyche industry can’t relate to his issues because they learned from the Blue Pill book and that kid will take one look at them and go “have you ever dated a hot tall blonde? no? then wtf am I doing listening to your shit”, and everybody just writes him off.

      Except that there are thousands of these guys, hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, stewing away lost and frustrated.

      Ignoring this shit and writing them off as “too fucked to help” without offering any kind of useful solution isn’t exactly working, is it?

      “but for at least some of those guys who are really fucked-up, the game approach took them from bad to worse.”

      Ya this kid would need a long-term mentor who had game, like someone who could have hung with him when he was in his teens and helped teach him how social interactions work and help him learn to approach girls etc. Some weekend bootcamp wasn’t going to fix him, I’ve expressly said that already.

      “Point being, he was not a quivering “nice guy” stereotype at all”

      He was a kid with a mental disorder who was given no guidance on how to achieve the things he wanted in life. I never said he was a quivering Nice Guy. He was a kid who didn’t understand how the world around him worked and why it didn’t align with the promises society made him.


  • yeahokcool
    on May 26, 2014 at 3:25 pm
    Original Link

    I am not suggesting that not getting laid or being a virgin through your 20s means you are homosexual. I am not suggesting you, or other such commenters, who got laid later than most are homosexual. I AM suggesting that THIS virgin may have remained so because he was struggling with same sex attraction based on my reading his manifesto. This is not about you. Talk about the irony of your using the word “projection”


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:33 pm
      Original Link

      @yeahokcool
      Not sure if this is a reply to me or not. I didn’t use the word projection anywhere lol

      My point and I think Harland’s point is simply that having a stunted view of sexuality and sexual relationships isn’t something you can draw conclusions of homosexual struggles from because it’s a very common thing for guys who are fully bought into the Disney mindset and Madonna/whore complexes (ie – “Suzy from school isn’t like those dirty whores in porn, she’s a perfect angel and I’m not one of those jerks who would just view her as a sexual object, I just want to hold hands on the beach with her and be together because that’s REAL love”).

      It’s kind of a stunted growth thing. Like being a big man-child or still believing in santa clause as an adult when everyone else around you has figured everything out and you didn’t get the memo (or refused that memo because you were too bought-in to your world view). I couldn’t even refer to real life girls as “sexy” when I was like 22, because I was so bought into conditioning to not view them that way and only call them “pretty” or “beautiful” and even THAT made me uncomfortable to do around other people or even inside my own head.

      Like, there might be other shit in his manifesto that implies he’s struggling with homosexuality (though I’ve read a lot of it and I don’t really see it that way at all, I know a lot of straight dudes who are just super effeminate because they got a bad luck of the draw in the gene pool), but all Harland and I are pointing out is that this specific thing isn’t an accurate indicator of that and is actually a very common behavior amongst long-term virgins who are bought into Disney conditioning.

      (it also took me a loooong time to get over that conditioning lol I had to actively work on being comfortable using words like “sexy”, even inside my own head let alone in out loud in front of other people)


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:34 pm
      Original Link

      Side note: for anyone curious about the guy’s manifesto but who doesn’t want to sit down and read the thing, here’s Stefan Molyneux reading it out and breaking a lot of it down:



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on May 26, 2014 at 9:22 pm
Original Link

FR 26 May 2014

Okay, after that mega-initial post, a shorter FR about my latest experiences.

INTRO – STRIP CLUB GAME
—————————–

Particularly because I’m finding it so difficult with wings right now, I decided about 2-3 weeks ago to focus on strip club game for a while – largely because it is so much easier to go to strip clubs alone and the girls approach you (and approaching practice is not a priority for me right now so I don’t need to practice that).

I read all the standard PUA advice for strip clubs (and YaReally and his posts on strippers among other things) and I implemented it (dress well, buy drinks, go on quiet nights, don’t perv at the women, don’t buy dances, don’t stay too long etc). I did get dances the first couple of times just to get a feel for how the place works, but not since then.

Have been about 10-12 times in the last 2-3 weeks to about 4-5 strip clubs (one particular one about 4-5 times as I really like the chilled out vibe).

I’m doing this more to help build my frame maintaining skills (and cos I can go alone) and to practice building a connection with women trying to get money out of me and less out of any *immediate* goal of SNLing a stripper or even a number close. Until my skills get a lot better, anything like that will be luck more than skill (but when it happens, I ain’t complaining).

It’s a fascinating experience. It’s interesting how conducive the environment in those clubs is to just chill and hang out and spend cash.

STRIP CLUBS – WHAT THEY ARE LIKE
———————————

All the standard stuff you’d expect really – girls trying every trick in the book for a dance, using their sexuality, trying to guilt me (saying I was cheap for only coming and drinking but not giving the girls cash, etc). Lots of hustlers who ask for a dance at either the 30 sec mark or 2 min mark and going off if I say no.

I’ve noticed my self-control is pretty good – no matter how hot they are (and how good it feels when they rub up against me), it’s pretty much impossible for them to convince me to have a dance. I’ve weakened (but not succumbed) a couple of times – both with girls I genuinely *liked* – as in they were hot, but they took the time to talk to me, and they were smart, and funny and made me laugh.

Most (but not all) times I go to a strip club I can get atleast one girl to sit down and have a “real” conversation with me for 20-30 mins without hassling me for dances. I’ve managed to get their real names a couple of times too but no closes yet (it’s a simple trick – after 20 mins I pretend I’ve forgotten the (stripper) name they introduced themselves with and ask for their name again. I don’t ask for their “real” name – just say “What was your name?”. If they like me they usually tell me their real name then and it doesn’t put them on the spot by ASKING for the real name).

I can tell these girls are genuinely enjoying the conversations and enjoying talking to me and listening to my stories(esp since they stay with me long after it is obvious I’m not having any dances) but they are still in professional mode. It’s much rarer and harder to “break through” beyond that to the girl inside. I’m getting better at spotting fake IOIs incidentally – it’s fascinating to notice the laugh that’s just a little too hard for the quality of the joke, or the kino from her that I didn’t earn..

STRIP CLUBS – INTERESTING EXPERIENCES
———————————-

Having said that, a few times I’ve managed to “break through” into attraction:

-On my first day, I had a long talk with a brunette girl who hasn’t been a stripper long. Cos it was my first day and I was getting used to the club, I did have a dance from her early on, but I got her real name and I trust my instincts enough to know I really broke through – I could see the real (earned) IOIs. I tried to number close her and she said no, but even there I got the sense that I could have pushed a bit harder and got it.

-Another very hot brunette – I got through almost my accident (I started with the usual stories I tell etc and teased her) and something just “hit” – I asked some shit about supernatural stuff and ghosts and she was really into it and started to open up and tell me about her experience meeting a demon or something but I miscalibrated and teased her about it just as she was opening up and she got really offended and walked off – a real pity that one

-Yet another hot brunette (can you tell I have a type? :) – Again, hooked well to my stories, never asked about a dance, was engaged and invested in conversation – fucked up by her cockblocking friend (basically the two of them approached me together and the friend went on endlessly about a dance which I kept refusing and she kept returning to. Then the friend went to do her stage show and for ten minutes I did really well, and then she came back and stuck to us like a limpet and I couldn’t isolate – very frustrating)

-Another hot brunette – Very articulate and sassy so we basically just poked fun at each other once she realized I wasn’t going to get dances – I barely did my usual stories (she even said she was “bored” with one of them). I just held my frame and it was actually a lot of fun. She kept going away and hunting customers (it was an unusually busy night) and then coming back to me – like 3 or 4 times. A couple of things she said really stuck in my head – one was something along the lines of how I’ve been to a lot of strip clubs before and know my way around (this was like visit No. 4 in my life to a strip club) which was basically confirmation that I was giving off exactly the vibe I wanted to give.

Another (well into the conversation) was like a very timid un-committed approach by a guy to a hot girl- the similarities are striking actually and the result was the same. She was like “So, umm..if you don’t want a dance..you wouldn’t want to give me a tip would you..?” I looked at her like she was crazy and just said “No” very firmly and you could actually *see* her BT spike when I did that – she actually gave me a big smile and her body relaxed – it’s hard to describe – it’s almost as if she had her suspicions about me and my answer confirmed them. I lost her when a big spending customer came in and she went off for the cash – if I could have moved her into comfort mode I may have been able to close.

Plus there have been a few girls (3 in particular) who I nearly had dances with just because they were fun, cool girls and I talked to them for ages (like nearly an hour) and we really clicked and it was obvious they enjoyed talking to me but I never broke through to attraction or got them out of stripper mode (it’s not the be all and end all, but for eg, they never gave me their real names, except for one who I tried to number close and who politely said no). I think the problem here was that the conversations here were so fun that I just let them go on naturally without guiding them in my direction or my usual stories or maintaining general alpha mannerisms..sort of getting too caught up in the conversation itself.

CONCLUSION
————–

What I find really interesting is spotting the differences between real attraction and just chatting. Spotting fake IOIs is actually pretty easy – the too loud laugh, the unearned kino etc. But the subtle difference between a girl who likes chatting to me and enjoys my company for real but is still in stripper mode looking around for her next customer, and one who is genuinely hooked and attracted is very interesting because a lot of it is very similar – no hassles about dances etc.

It’s hard to articulate but it is almost as if the latter involves a mixture of the girl giving me the Eyes (what Mystery Method used to call the Doggy Dinner Bowl look) and looking at me with eyes that say “Who IS this guy? I’ve never met anyone like him before – he’s not like the usual guy we see around here”, but the girl who is just enjoying having a chat with a cool guy doesn’t do that.

Oh and one time I got chatting to another solo guy at the strip club and it turns out he might actually become an important professional contact so that just goes to show – it’s not all about the women!

Any tips and thoughts on my approach to strippers (esp how to break through and form a real connection) or anything else on my posts appreciated.

I’ve just started reading Juggler Method to study how to build comfort/connection and that’s my next step – to apply it to both strippers and normal clubs as I think that’s my sticking point and closing will be much easier after that. I’m also learning a lot about text game but that’s just a question of practice (I’ve been reading a lot of YaReally and CH stuff on text game).


  • YaReally
    on May 27, 2014 at 5:07 pm
    Original Link

    @Culum
    “What I find really interesting is spotting the differences between real attraction and just chatting. Spotting fake IOIs is actually pretty easy – the too loud laugh, the unearned kino etc. But the subtle difference between a girl who likes chatting to me and enjoys my company for real but is still in stripper mode looking around for her next customer, and one who is genuinely hooked and attracted is very interesting because a lot of it is very similar – no hassles about dances etc. ”

    There are a lot of lessons the learn from strip clubs lol:

    1) That feeling you get where she’s faking it is the same feeling girls get when you open them but aren’t REALLY engaged in making them feel special or wanted but you’re just opening them to use them for your own state boost while secretly half checked-out of the conversation thinking about the hotter girl across the room that you’d rather be talking to or keeping an eye out for better girls. It makes the person feel like shit.

    So when you’re running Juggler method etc, be full engaged and try to really take an interest in the person even if it’s just for a few minutes. People can FEEL that sincerity.

    2) Most guys can NOT spot the difference between real and fake interest, because they don’t spend much time flirting with women (aside from a girlfriend who is by default attracted to them or a few girls in their social circle that may or may not be interested in them and the occasional once every 3 months or so random girl they talk to who they run away from before they fuck the interaction up lol). This is why most of those strippers all have regular customers who all think she’s in love with them, that all those other guys are chumps etc. But when you can actually tell the difference between real/fake IOIs you can figure out which camp you’re in and whether their interest is legit or not.

    Also girls/feminists/etc. will tell you that you only THINK you can tell but really women are all A-list actresses who are impossible to predict or read when they don’t want you to be able to…that’s bullshit feminine propaganda, don’t buy into it. It’s very easy to spot fake iois when you know what’s up. Her sitting with you when she knows you aren’t going to be any money for her and NOT hitting you up for a dance is an ioi (she may not be in love with you or anything but there’s some attraction there). Her giving you a blatant ioi when you KNOW from exeperience that you really haven’t done anything to earn it, that’s a fake ioi. So your awareness is solid.

    3) Those girls are normal girls. They often have other jobs or school or whatever…they’re not in sexy princess on a pedestal stripper mode at home on Christmas morning opening presents with their big brother teasing them. They respond to game the same way normal girls do, but you have to escape the customer frame first is all. Once they know you’re not the usual beta AFC customer guy, you get a completely different interaction than those guys do and you can actually talk to the real girl.

    4) Funny thing to notice is that if a stripper approaches a group in front of you and gets shot down, she won’t then move onto you, she’ll go run away to the back or to the other side of the room or sit down somewhere and txt and THEN come back to you after a bit. Because they understand that you won’t feel special if you see them just going from table to table. This is what happens when girls see a high-energy PUA type at the bar who isn’t actually committing to any sets, he’s just buzzing from set to set trying to get some validation, because he doesn’t care which one he gets, they’re all interchangeable to him, so none of them are special. It’s off-putting. Try sticking some sets out for a while, even if you probably aren’t going to fuck them, and have quality interactions VS quantity, especially if you’re stuck in the same small bar for like 4 hours straight.

    5) Talk about sex with strippers lol They love the topic and it helps you get more comfortable with it. I’m extremely comfortable in a strip-club because sex is normalized for me but when I started going out and gaming I was super intimidated by sex and had an asexual friendly-but-not-fuckable vibe because sex was all taboo too me. Legitimately look the girls on the stage up and down and check out their bodies and enjoy the female form.

    6) I always clap. It helps put me in a good state, makes me stand out, and sometimes you can get other guys to clap too which is good for the stripper’s ego. She just got up there buck naked and put herself out there, nothing wrong with a little encouragement so she isn’t leaving the stage in dead silence. Sometimes I’m the only one clapping lol then I just make fun of the other guys to the stripper if she comes over and say “why don’t these guys clap, they must be shy lol”

    7) Focus on holding eye-contact with them. Search my archives for Liam McRea’s Rapid Escalation seminar where he explains eye-contact in depth. Even more specifically watch how the strippers use eye-contact on you. The good ones know to lock it on because it intimidates most guys and makes them pop wood and cave and get dances. Try locking eyes on them and staring right back with sexual intent and no flinching…you’ll notice the girls are a little puzzled at first and then they crank their eye-contact up even harder or cut the space and get closer in your face, but if you just calmly intently keep that eye-contact locked, you’ll start building crazy sexual chemistry between the two of you that blows their mind because they don’t run into many guys who can keep eye-contact. I actually primarily only go to strip clubs to practice my eye-contact and sexual flirting lol I don’t buy dances…I could spend that $20 at a normal bar and probably get laid lol


    • YaReally
      on May 28, 2014 at 6:25 pm
      Original Link

      @Culum
      “I was thinking of the girls who are willing to chat with me and not ask for dances (but not obviously attracted) as “not interested””

      She could make $20 – $100 sitting with the guy beside you.

      “then it’s more like they are attracted, but just less so – as in, it’s more of a spectrum and less of a yes/no thing.”

      Basically if she’s chilling with you but you guys don’t have an actively flirty sexual vibe together, that means she views you as “cool”. She doesn’t view you as one of the creepers there, she views you as the guy that’s safe that she can take a break from being a stripper and just chill and be a normal girl for a few minutes and often just be herself.

      That doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you, but it’s a good sign that the vibe you’re giving off is “I’m a cool chill guy who isn’t a creeper”. It’s GOOD to be this guy in a stripclub VS being a customer they ask for dances.

      If she’s not that into you but chilling at your table and not asking for dances, I like to practice laser eye-contact and basic rapport-building (Juggler stuff) and see if I can spark something. If not that’s cool, we just chill till she has to get up and do her rounds and I wish her luck and tell her to make some $ or point out some guy who looks like he’d get dances from her if I notice one of them.

      If she’s sitting with you and actively flirting with you, AND not asking you for dances, she’s into you but I don’t know what to really do from there lol Logically some kind of subtle contact-close but there’s so much ASD around her giving her number out (a lot of them have 2nd phones for their job) etc. that there are probably other guys with more experience at it out there who’ve written more useful stuff for that stage of things.

      Also keep in mind that the hottest girls aren’t going to shit a brick over you. Best analogy is if you found a $10,000 bill on the ground you and I would jump for joy and run around cheering and singing about our good fortune. If Bill Gates found a $10,000 bill on the ground, that would be cool, and he’d be like “hey, that’s great!” but he’s already got $10,000 bills so he’s not going to be as expressive that he’s excited…so a lot of times a really high-value chick will simply “be around you” to show she’s interested, VS a 6 who will paw at your shirt and tell you “omg I love your hair” and shit because it’s amazing to her that you’re flirting with her.

      “Interesting that you say talk about sex with strippers. I’ve been avoiding this so far and sticking to more “mundane” conversation topics to avoid coming across like a customer guy who views them only as a sexual plaything etc.”

      The key is to just be non-judgemental about sex. I like to tell funny/embarrassing sexual stories so it’s not just some creepy perv going “so what kind of panties do you like to wear hurr hurr durr” which is what they get a lot of lol But instead it’s some lol-worthy story about casual sex that gets her laughing and opens her up to share her own similar stories etc. and then she sees that I’m just a cool guy with no sexual hang-ups, there to enjoy the beautiful women.

      A lot of the guys in a stripclub are very awkward about sex, despite being there. They have weird creepy views or view the women as pieces of shit or are there to mentally get off on having a pretty girl talking about sexual things or they’re so repressed and ashamed to be in there that they stay on gentlemanly topics which half the time is just their attempt to try to separate themselves from the “other guys” there who are all pervy losers but he’s the true gentleman who would respect her and bla bla bla but usually they know what’s up.

      Being in a stripclub and pretending to not be a sexual guy is like being in a buffet line with food on your plate and pretending not to be hungry lol I say just embrace that you like sex and that you’re a sexual guy, and do it in a fun flirty non-judgemental way.

      For a stripper to bang/date a guy, she has to know that he’s not going to be some judgemental dude that’s going to make her quit work or come in every shift and jealously glare at the guys who talk to her or give her drama about her job or clients and all that shit. So when you’re giving off the vibe that you’re cool with sex and not jealous and non-judgemental and stuff it’s like “ahh finally a cool guy who, if I fucked him, would probably not bring negative shit into my life!”

      I haven’t banged a stripper (close a few times and starting to mess around with it a bit more lately just ’cause I have some buddies who like to go) but I figure this is the route I would try.

      “Will focus more on EC – the importance of that hadn’t occurred to me at all. I’ve done it by accident a couple of times – esp with one of the strippers who sat with me for ages without a dance (but didn’t go to the doggy dinner bowl attraction stage). It was just electric, the sexual tension – we kept looking each other in the eyes and both of us were sort of half-smirking (not smiling to break the tension).”

      Yep. Explore this further. Do it on purpose, and then carry it out into your normal bar sets and online dates. I’ve had a number of dates where the girl wasn’t that into me at the start and the vibe wasn’t really there but sexual eye-contact while we had a drink and talked about sexual topics turned things around and got me the lay that night.

      Strippers are great to practice on because they’re pro at it (the ones who make good money anyway) and they’re mind-blown when you can do it back to them (sparks attraction in them that they’re usually surprised by because no guy in months has held eye-contact with them for more than a few seconds) which is super funny/cute to see the microexpressions of confusion/attraction on their face lol



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Eivind Berge
on May 26, 2014 at 9:58 am
Original Link

I don’t think Rodger was a homosexual. That’s not the impression I got from reading the entire manifesto. He stabbed his male roommates for tactical reasons, not because stabbing is a more personal method of dispatch. If he had started shooting at his apartment, somebody would have called the cops and he would have never made it to the sorority house and town. Then the rampage would have been over before it began. He wanted to do as much damage as possible to both sexes, and his roommates were merely easy targets who could be stabbed in their sleep. He intended to kill many more, but got stopped pretty quickly.


  • yeahokcool
    on May 26, 2014 at 10:12 am
    Original Link

    I actually read the entire manifesto as well. Fascinating stuff that, at times, seemed, like CH suggested, to be fake and exaggerated.

    However, I’m strongly of the opinion that Rodger was homosexual. His description of girls was actually very blasé and uninspired. In short, he mostly just describes them as being ideally blonde and holding his hand while they walk down the beach. No real description or apparent interest in ACTUALLY having sex with a woman. The most graphic description of sex occurs when he stands outside his sister’s door while she is getting railed by her bf.

    When it comes to men, however, there are no shortage of details and superlatives (look up how many times the word “hunk” is used to describe men). He also has a very strong (albeit not explicitly sexual) attraction to a male friend named Addison. Finally, I’ll note that his final solution involved removing sex from the world by putting all women in concentration camps and starving all but a few to death. He then proposes that the survivors be bred in sexless laboratories. Only then, he believes, will men be able to reach their true potential.

    If that’s not gay, I don’t know what is.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 1:00 pm
      Original Link

      @yeahokcool
      “In short, he mostly just describes them as being ideally blonde and holding his hand while they walk down the beach. No real description or apparent interest in ACTUALLY having sex with a woman”

      Just want to point out that this is actually how a lot of guys who haven’t had sex view relationships. Once you start getting laid, and especially do it thru game where you really see behind the curtain on what sexual relationships are, you can tend to forget that the generic Nice Guy AFC beta chode doesn’t view women in terms of “I want to blow my load across her face and call her my dirty little whore” lol He may watch porn but those aren’t “real” women to him, it’s a separate world. “Real” women to him are like he sees in the Disney culture MSM, where you have intimate love-making after you fall for eachother and hold hands on park benches and shit.

      That’s why he didn’t just hit up a whore-house, he was looking for an actual intimate connection, not just a hole to blow his spunk in. A big part of why anti-gamer white knight types reject game so vehemently is that it challenges their Disney view of women and relationships.

      How do I know all this? ’cause I was a virgin longer than this kid and I viewed it the same way. I wasn’t thinking “I wish Suzy at school would bend over and take my cock up her ass”, I was thinking “I wish Suzy at school would look at me and smile in class one day and maybe we’d get assigned a project together and have to work together and I could confess to her that I’m in love with her and ask her if she’d maybe like to go out on a date sometime and she’d say yes and on that date we’d hold hands! wow, that would be amazing! We’d live happily ever after, cuddled up on the couch together snuggling and kissing and watching movies…that would be amazing.” And I was watching all sorts of porn thru this lol

      So I wouldn’t read homosexuality into this guy’s issues. His case is pretty cut and dry…he’s simply an example of someone who FULLY bought in to our Blue Pill society’s brainwashing that “once you get the car and the money and a nice suit you get the girls. It just HAPPENS! …oh it didn’t happen for you? Well that’s your fault, you entitled misogynist, women don’t owe you sex! Now go away so we don’t have to think about you, while we shame and berate every resource that could possibly help you out and give you some hope. We expect you to just vanish and live out the next 60 years of your life accepting that you are nothing and will never have anything and should never try to climb out of that box we’ve put you in.”

      Like I say, the scary part to me is that I don’t see any reason why this won’t happen more. Until you encourage men to access resources that teach them what to do with the tools they have to get things that THEY want (as opposed to being used as tools to satisfy everyone ELSE’S needs while telling them their needs are unimportant as they suffer silently), they’ll be frustrated and lost…and if society continues to shit upon those men for not instinctively understanding what to do with those tools, well, you’ve got a whole lot of angry frustrated directionless young men out there who are very VERY unhappy with life and society.


    • YaReally
      on May 27, 2014 at 7:03 pm
      Original Link

      “Welcome to the real world. Survival of the fittest and he was in no way fit for this chaotic sinister ironic beautiful place.”

      But he still exists, and he’s out there driving the same roads you and your future children are for the next 60 years, able to purchase the same guns you are, able to build the same homebrew explosives you are, and you’re too wrapped up in yourself to help guys like him recover from the unfortunate luck of the draw they had in the genetic lottery.

      These guys exist, they don’t just vanish when you say “tough shit, welcome to the real world”. They have 60+ years of frustration ahead of them and people like you telling them they aren’t fit to survive and that they were either born with it or they aren’t and if they’re inferior they’re just out of luck.

      Next thing you know we have more of these guys exploding in killing sprees and more innocent dead bodies piling up.

      But it’s awesome that you got a handjob in the hallway at school thanks for sharing what a badass you are, I’m sure it’s going to help guys like this out. lol



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Aquila
on May 26, 2014 at 10:37 am
Original Link

18-22 is a particularly hard age for a lot of dudes to get laid or a decent date too. This is because at that age you’re competing with not only your own age group, but guys who are older than you (heck, at 25 I was getting more 18-21 year old girls than I did when I was that age), and society has made any girl under 18 essentially “off limits.”

This is the second Asian kid who committed mass murder because he couldn’t get his boner taken care of. Recall the Virginia Tech shooting, and how the little Korean guy complained that no women liked him and how he was a virgin as well. I think this throws a wrench into the whole “Asians are good for European society because high IQ” thing. Asian men can’t integrate into white society very well, much of the time. Look at all the little Indian/Pakistani chodes in the PUA universe. They try so hard to get a white girl in a world of white rules and usually fail hard no matter what. In their culture, all they would have to do is tell mom and dad that it is time for a ho and their parents would find a few chicks and he’d pick from among them. Asian men should go back to Asia where society is rigged in their favor, not try to compete with white men who will win the romance game with women of any race. White men dominate the romance game, it’s a forte of ours. While I believe we need to return to more conservative times as far as finding a wife goes, most Asian men have little chance of succeeding on our turf, and since semen on the brain from never getting laid drives men insane, Asian men can be a danger to our society. I say this as a man with a ton of Asian friends, from being stationed in Korea. I’ll tell you what, the Korean men in Korea are generally way happier than Korean men in the US, and I’ve known a few ex-Korean Soldiers who have immigrated to the US only to return to their motherland shortly thereafter. On guard duty once a Korean Soldier told me how he loves white women and wants to go to America to find one, and another Korean Soldier who studied abroad at a school not far from where I grew up chimed in and told him that white girls are nearly impossible for most Asian men to get. Factor in the fact that Koreans have the world’s smallest dicks and it’s a shut out. My advice to all Asians – Indian, Korean, Chinese or whatever – go to greener pastures, which means go someplace you have a good chance, rather than trying hard to out game white guys. You also might want to keep Asian women from coming to the US for study abroad’s, because it’s seriously true that once you go white you don’t go back. A lot of the Korean girls I dated in Korea had spent time in the US and came back with unrequited white fever.


  • YaReally
    on May 26, 2014 at 1:14 pm
    Original Link

    lol maybe FOBs are starting from a rough spot. But the current gen asian dudes growing up in Western culture are fully capable of competing in the SMV, even for hot blonde white chicks in the bar scene. One of my major social circles a while back was a bunch of cool asian/indian dudes.

    And even then the FOBy dudes can put in the hours and learn to do good. The Engrish accent is usually the only real hitch ’cause that seems to be a bitch to get rid of and smooth out. Everything else tho is fine as long as they learn to develop confidence and charisma and present that in girls’ faces like a boss.

    It just comes down to how much exposure they’ve had to game and how much unwiring they have to do from their super repressed home-life upbringings (compared to white dudes). But it’s entirely do-able. Seen it first-hand many times.



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Harland
on May 26, 2014 at 11:42 am
Original Link

Oh, for fuck’s sake, he wasn’t a fag. That’s just confirmation bias…when you go witch-hunting, you’re going to find witches. If he was a fag then sex would be easy-peasy. That’s how AIDS got started, fags will have sex with each other at the drop of a hat.

And fuck all of you who say “DURR DURR he should have just gotten a whore.” That’s not the goddamn point. It’s not about getting your dick wet. It’s about getting validation from a woman that you are a desirable man, in the only way that matters. If I had a penny for every time a woman said, “Oh, you’re such a nice man, you’re going to make some girl very happy some day,” I’d have a couple dollars saved up by now.

Once upon a time, I was much like him. I was the same age, 22. Only, I was too much of a chickenshit to murder my way through a sorority house like I wanted to. I should have killed myself to stop the pain of involuntary celibacy, but I was too much of a chickenshit to do that, either. So what did I do? I suffered. I suffered through seven more years of virginity, all the while watching everyone else around me get laid. Even my nerd friends eventually got girls. But me? No. Not for me. I played Magic: the Gathering, Talisman, and Nethack just like them, and yet no girl wanted anything to do with me. At length, one dark night, I discovered alt.seduction.fast and learned what girls really want, and why they lie about it. I used this new science (if it produces reproducible results, then it’s science) to poke my first girl when I was twenty-nine years old.

Let’s assume he’s me for a moment. Tell him, just persevere, don’t worry, you’ll get laid seven years from now. Would you even agree to that? Making a decision and sticking with it was the most manly act he ever performed. Sure, his decision was mass murder, but hey.

And for all you haters who want to tell me that I was a loser, unmasculine, I deserved it…well I suppose you’re right. All of those were accurate accusations. I was in a box with no way out. I have noticed an ugly streak in some of these men’s websites where the contributors seem to enjoy hurling abuse and hatred towards fellow men and have zero interest in helping them. Even the ones who don’t want to be helped…who are precisely the ones who need it the most. It’s really sad, it’s worse than what feminists do.


  • YaReally
    on May 26, 2014 at 1:35 pm
    Original Link

    Real talk right here. Props on taking action and digging yourself out of a hole. Tyler from RSD often mentions how his first big mind-fuck was that “talking to girls” was a SKILL that you could actually IMPROVE at if you did it a lot. The whole “you either have it or you don’t” mindset that society teaches people is really damaging and contributes to the feeling of helplessness when you’re one of these guys.

    I was a virgin till 23-24 (can’t quite remember honestly) till I found the community. I wasn’t as angry as this kid or you because I had kind of just accepted that I was one of those guys who just didn’t deserve girls and I was hoping that someday maybe when I had a career etc. there’d be some cute girl in my office that would like me and we’d date and live happily ever after etc. (didn’t even think about fucking her in my imagination, so I agree on the “it was about more than sex” thing), but while I was fairly content with my boring life I definitely felt the same frustrations of not having the universe deliver me girls like I was conditioned by society to believe would happen if I was just a Nice Guy and supplicate to everyone all the time and I always felt a little bit “out of the loop” from the rest of the world.

    Agree 100% with everything you wrote here.

    “I was in a box with no way out.”

    This is really the main thing…these guys are trapped in a box that they actually constructed themselves by following society’s guidelines (“surprise, you got the exact opposite of what we promised you by doing what we say! Psyche lololz”) and no one is giving them any kind of way out of it. Game is the way out of it, but now that game is on the MSM radar a lot of these guys are conditioned to not even look into game because Jezebel told them it was hateful manipulative misogyny to even look at a list of steps like “go out and smile at 10 girls. next week try saying hi to them!”

    I’m hoping this whole situ doesn’t trigger clones, but no one except PUAs and the Manosphere really seem to want to discuss what made this kid tick. All the MSM and Feminist sites are just shitting on him and anyone in his boat and wondering when they’ll just go away so they can go back to bitching about how some creepy loser practically raped them by daring to make eye-contact with her as she walked past him.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 2:23 pm
      Original Link

      @PWN
      “Don’t you regret not having as much fun before 24 as you could have had?”

      Ya, of course. I basically wasted what could’ve been an amazing teenage to early-adulthood because I didn’t know I could get better at this stuff, or how to get better at it, and was conditioned to follow the Nice Guy mold. And at the time I was cool with it, I just thought that’s how life works.

      It’s sad, but regretting it doesn’t really do anything. Hell I think I appreciate the life I live now and all the opportunities I’ve created for myself BECAUSE I wasted all those years. I have a very “enjoy the moment” mindset because I don’t plan to waste anymore years of my life.

      I can’t get that time back, but I can make sure I don’t repeat the same mistakes.

      “I feel like this despite that time being ok, but I feel like it’s never going to be as good as it could have been. I suppose you make it better by having sex with girls of that age as you get older.”

      lol, I did tap a 20yo recently, but I don’t really relate the two things. There’s no sense dwelling on the past, what’s done is done, focus on right now and the future.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 4:42 pm
      Original Link

      @Slothrop
      “Rodgers was far more fucked in the head than the “beta nerd nice guy” stereotype.”

      Agreed. That’s why I keep mentioning that he was clearly fucked in the head in my posts.

      But all the kid needed was to act normal enough to land a few hand-holding dates. He was clearly intelligent and spergy or not, he could’ve learned to mimic enough attractive behaviors that he could land a bit of female attention. Would it have prevented this whole thing from going down? Who knows, maybe it would just delay it. But it would have been better than society’s option of “wait for him to off himself and hope he doesn’t take anyone out with him”.

      “He couldn’t even socially function on a basic level without throwing drinks at people or attacking them randomly at parties.”

      Lots of guys have anger issues that get worked out when they get help with them. This kid of thing is frustration lashing out. It’s like saying a kid who vandalizes his school is impossible to help because he can’t even function at a basic level without causing damages to shit.

      Again, the kid was fucked and he’s not going to turn into some super PUA wizard pulling down blonde 10s left and right but he might have been able to get enough female attention to take the edge off the hate building up. Instead he found the PUA-Hate site which is basically a bunch of guys like him who help feed eachother’s victim mentalities and amplify his negative mindsets instead of helping.

      “This guy was well-aware of pua and NEVER approached anyone because he was so socially malfunctional. He simply could not do it.”

      He had legs and a mouth. He was physically capable of doing it. But nobody took the time to show him how or to help him understand why he SHOULD approach. Is it something a weekend long bootcamp or some free YouTube videos would fix? Fuck no lol A person would even have to get this kid’s respect in the FIRST place for him to even begin to listen to them, and then unwire a ton of fucked up wiring before they could even start fixing shit with him.

      But if getting that kind of help wasn’t so shunned by the MSM, maybe he could have found a mentor who would take the time to help him work through that shit for a few years and at least diffuse a bit of the hatred.

      “Plus, to me the whole rich kid narcissistic “alpha male” act he put on was the exact opposite of the “guy in the box” you describe. He had every social advantage and couldn’t stumble into a fuck.”

      This is just jealousy/bitterness because you probably don’t have those things and think “if I had them I’d get laid like crazy, stupid kid didn’t know what REAL problems are”. You also probably don’t hang around rich good-looking guys with all these advantages who can’t stumble into a fuck because if you did then you would know that this is a lot more common than people believe. Hollywood tells us that these guys have no problems and we buy into it, but when you actually hang out with these guys you realize that you could throw a chick spread-legged at them and the majority of them won’t have a clue how to get their dick in her from there.

      That attitude, again, helps re-enforce their frustrations because you’re basically saying “you should be getting laid, anyone could if they had what you have, you’re a fucking loser” and no one has any sympathy for them because they put them in the box of “you can’t have any problems” just like Feminists put men in the same “check your privilege, shitlord” box when they try to express that they have actual problems and frustrations in life.

      So no, I won’t stop it. Because there might be some other Rodger out there reading this going “wait, so there might actually be help out there?” and start looking into finding a mentor.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:17 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      “My analysis is that she knows I cannot see her on the weekends and is trying to angle for me to offer to see her this upcoming week. What do you think? Should I respond? Or should I just stay silent?”

      Silence. She doesn’t deserve your attention because she misbehaved. You’re teaching her “if you misbehave, then I will take my attention away. You won’t get it back just by calling me darling or because you waaaaaaant it. You did something I don’t approve of, so I’m not interested in communicating with you right now.” If you cave too soon, she doesn’t learn a lesson, she just learns “okay I just have to let him cool off a few days and then re-initiate”.

      One key thing to keep in mind is when you DO contact her again, in a week or so, initiate it YOUR way. ie – don’t wait for her to send “hey darling! are you okay?? I miss you….” and then respond with like a “hey, I was busy with work. Let’s hang out Friday” or whatever, where you’re responding to her action. Instead you would ignore her attempts to get back in touch with you and instead send out of the blue on a day you haven’t heard from her, something like “hey, are you free Friday?” with no discussion of where you’ve been or anything. She can ask you questions about it in person on the date (and you just say you were busy with work or personal stuff and change the subject).

      So the idea is kind of that she learns that HER actions don’t get your attention. ie – her rolodex of methods to try to get you to respond don’t work, she has no way to influence you to contact her if she fucks up, which makes her less inclined to take your time/energy for granted and fuck up again, because she doesn’t have a way to get your attention back. If, say, she sent “why are you so mad at me?? :( :( I miss you darling…”, and you responded to that txt, that would teach her “okay, if I fuck up again, it’s okay because I just have to guilt trip him and then he’ll give me his attention again, so it’s okay to fuck up because I have a method to get his attention back.”

      Make sense? Understand that she’s not doing this consciously or maliciously, she’s simply running on emotional instinct to shit-test you and see where your boundaries are, and she’s doing this because instinctively she’s wanting to make sure you’re a “man”. Deep down she’s reading into all of this like “how would he handle real life problems, does he cave on his boundaries and values? how would he be as a father figure? can he be someone I respect and who helps bring order to my life when I need that? or can I make him budge by batting my eyelashes and what does that say about his values and strength as a man?”

      In a way, she actually WANTS you to not contact her because she WANTS you to be the guy that she can’t control because that means no one can control you which means you’re a badass in life, and you choose to allow her to be a part of that life and that holds a lot more value to her than some lame guy begging her to be a part of his life.

      If you want to read more on the idea of punishment/reward and bringing order VS allowing chaos to flourish, I’m a big fan of some chapters of this free eBook:

      http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf

      Specifically the “Order VS Disorder” chapter and the chapters under “Authority – The Proper Male Form”, “Function”, and everything under “Part III: Applying The Solution”.

      This is my personal favorite in-depth breakdown/explanation/guideline for this topic and it’s helped a lot of my internal frame in dealing not just with women but with men too. I think it’s an excellent guide to how to properly enforce your boundaries and understand that you’re not a bad person for it, other people need you to do it and to do it competently instead of haphazardly.

      I really recommend it to anyone who finds they have trouble with respect. It’s espeically effective when you deal with highly feminine women who tend to be a lot more up and down in terms of emotional rollercoasters and constantly testing you or bringing you drama. I generally don’t have the same problems with these women that other guys do, but it’s because these sections of this book helped me understand the underlying shit that’s going on and how to properly help bring order to their chaotic behavior.

      I also think this is a great read for older men because a lot of it will go over the heads of younger men who are still figuring their own shit out and first experiencing tests and such. For older men with some life experience, there’s a lot of “hey, that clicks to me, I remember dealing with someone who was like that”.

      “Or should I send the text that says “I will wait until you get everything sorted out you seem like you have a lot of stuff going on right now”?”

      Oop, I didn’t realize you haven’t sent that one yet. Send this one as a response to her first txt that asks if something’s wrong or if you’re mad at her or if you’re ignoring her. Don’t make it butthurt sounding, just a purely logical “We’re fine. It just sounds like you have a lot going on right now, we can try again when you get things sorted out and have time to come see me.”

      The reason this one is okay to send, after my big rant above about initiating on your own terms, is because she doesn’t know what she did wrong or how to fix it without that text.

      This is covered in that eBook, but the idea is that when you discipline someone you need them to understand WHY they’re being disciplined and how they can fix it or avoid it in the future, otherwise they don’t learn anything and they interpret it as just you being chaotic and cruel because they don’t understand where it’s coming from or how to avoid it…it may still help make them “feel bad” which could make them easier to deal with, but that’s not a productive relationship in the long-run, that’s simply an abusive relationship. A productive one is where they’re given the opportunity to correct and change their chaotic behavior patterns and grow into orderly behavior that allows you two to be together which you both would like and benefit from.

      So right NOW, if you haven’t sent that text, she’s not sure why she’s being punished exactly. She might be able to guess, but even then she isn’t quite sure how to avoid it…and again she might be able to guess THAT too, but that’s rolling the dice and could take a while for her to recognize and understand the patterns of what’s going on…so I prefer to send a text like your one up above that let’s her know basically “look, I’m not going to chase a flakey girl around, if you want to meet up then make some effort or I will walk. Now I’m going to go radio silent for a couple weeks so you can feel what life is like without me in it, and then I’m going to give you another opportunity to try again, now that you understand the consequences and how to avoid them, and YOU are free to decide whether you’d prefer life with me or without me.” This is NOT being controlling, you’re not a bad guy for this as Feminists would probably tell you you are, she is still completely free to do as she pleases…you’re simply saying “I expect a certain type of behavior from the girls I spend my time with. I would prefer if you chose to follow that behavior so we could be together, but if you choose not to follow that behavior, that’s alright, I wish you the best of luck out there.” It’s just having self-respect and boundaries.

      “Also no word on the 40YONurse. I did not expect anything but I am figuring contact her later in the week . Think that is about right?”

      Ya that should be fine. That one legit likes you and wants to hook up again, she just has life shit getting in the way. I wouldn’t worry about that one at all, but I would expect to only see her once or twice a month ultimately so you might want to simply send a fluff text where you fully expect the conversation to just be a quick little 2 or 3 txt back and forth with an abrupt ending while she goes off to handle her shit…like don’t expect a big long in-depth conversation. Just shoot a fun little thing like your “I think this person’s a spy” thing so she knows your guys’ line of communications is still open. But you would be fine not sending anything, this one should be on the hook solid and will let you know when she’s free to hook up again.

      Alright now this next girl, the 40YO Chile chick. I’m going to write HOW you would handle this, so you understand the dynamics for future similar situations, but I’m going to HIGHLY recommend that you let this one go and just stop communicating with her if she knows ANYTHING about your life (your last name, where you work, your wife/kids’ names, where you normally live, your phone number if it’s somehow linked to your name (type it into Google and see if your name comes up), ANYTHING that she could do some detective work on you and find a way to communicate with your wife/kids/work/social circle/etc.).

      If you are 100% anonymous to her beyond your first name basically, THEN go ahead and give this a try. But since you were a beta to her way back and spilled the beans on your situ, you may have given her some kind of information that she can use to find a way to contact people in your life and if that’s the case ***DO NOT EXECUTE THIS PLAN.*** Just walk away.

      You saw what happened with the 26YO when you pissed her off. It’s not worth risking fucking your marriage/life up for this girl, because unfortunately the only way you’re going to get out of the beta box that you put yourself in when you first dated her, is to piss her off lol Because you have to show her that you’re not that guy anymore, and that’s going to require doing stuff that frustrates her and at points makes her angry because you’re not getting with the plan like she expects.

      So that’s my disclaimer. If she can fuck up your life, just bail on the whole situation because you’re not likely to get in her pants by being nice and chasing her around just like you didn’t before, so that’s a waste of your time, and getting in her pants will require pissing her off so it’s all around just better to walk away if she can fuck your life up and somehow contact your wife/kids/work/friends/etc. Even if you’ve just told her what line of work you’re in, can she Google the top companies in that line and look for a pic of you on their site or your first name and where they’re located and deduce who you are and Google the rest of your info from there?

      Okay, so that all said, here’s how you would turn this one around:

      “She had been through two divorces and was very prudish at first also. I fell for it. She bragged about other men and how much she made them wait and I was getting in so quickly.”

      lol this is all just her inflating her own value, and she only does it when she thinks you’ll fall for it. I had a girl the other weekend who kept trying to put me in the “you have to wait 3 dates and impress me on them” frame but I just lol’ed and ignored it all. Put out on the first date. But guaranteed that stuff normally works on guys and she just throws it out there to see if they’ll bite.

      “Talking very suggestive about how much she wants to be with me. Etc. I have not responded much. Kind of let it die thinking she is just a fucking flake.”

      If you were a normal dude I would say ya don’t waste your time on this shit. It’s similar to the 26YO (and now the 33YO princess) where she already has a vision of you as the guy who will chase her around for her validation (the sexting is just to keep you interested, but she won’t quite put out…she’s basically doing what strippres do to get guys to run to the ATM to pay for “one more dance” lol).

      But I think you could handle turning this around if you wanted to try because your recent experiences are all kind of related to this situation. I think you would be able to figure out how to make progress with this on your own at this point because it’s basically applying a lot of the things you’ve been learning the past month or so with these other girls so you are theoretically pretty well equipped to come up with at least a solid outline of a plan. :)

      “Her third attempt to reach me. And I have not responded.”

      Good. Remember, you have to undo a lot of her beta vision of you now. You have to break your old patterns in her mind or she’ll simply put you back into that box you were in and treat you the same (dangle the attention/sexuality carrot in front of you till you try to reach for it and then tug it away).

      “So my prediction is that she is still into me and wants me to chase.”

      Yup. 100%.

      “But I am not going to chase.”

      Good. You chased before, so she’s expecting you to chase again. She will attempt to go through her personal rolodex of behaviors to try to get you back into that frame because you’ve already shown her in the past that that’s a frame you belong in. So you will have some hardcore work to do in terms of breaking out of expected behaviors in her mind. It could take a bit of time, but a lot of that time will be just ignoring her txts and not chasing her, so it’s not a huge time investment in the long-run…it’s more developing self-control to avoid responding to all her txts and chasing all her dangling carrots, and flipping the script to keep yourself just out of arms reach of her until she chases hard.

      “I am thinking about sending her a playful and sexy text.”

      Totally fine. Go for it. But keep reading ’cause I’m about to throw a pattern-breaking twist in there lol:

      “And see if she wants to meet up with me.”

      DON’T do this. There’s the twist. Remember that post I made about how with certain girls you may have to play a bit more hardcore by giving them attention but NOT trying to meet up with them?

      That’s the move to use here. ie – put yourself in the mindset that you won’t meet up with this girl for at LEAST 2 months. Maybe even 3 months. I’m not even exaggerating. You put yourself into a huge beta frame in her mind, so the second you start chasing her, especially the week that she gets back in touch with you, she’s just going to go “yep, just like I thought, he’s still that guy” and she’s going to flake on you or go out with you and put up too much resistance to have sex because that’s the old pattern she’s used to.

      So what you want to do is dangle the carrot…give her ONLY sexual attention (don’t respond to txts about work or her kids or her drama or anything, every conversation you have is sexual from now on), and do NOT push for any kind of meet-up. At all. End conversations abruptly (just quit txting mid-convo) and do NOT suggest meeting up in any way.

      What SHOULD happen is that she’ll be confused for the first couple weeks and try a few more rolodex things, specifically escalating her sexting, trying to get you to ask her out. She’ll probably start with stuff like “I miss you…” and “it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever babe…” etc. which is the first carrot. You just brush it off by not responding at all or being aloof like “lol don’t get all clingy on me now” etc. Not responding is best because it’s harder to fuck that up and it lets her fill in a lot of stuff in her head and gives her hamster a workout.

      Then she’ll probably send you some sexy pics because the sexy txts alone aren’t working. But you’re going to act like a stripper…teasing without letting her have the carrot. So you could say stuff like “mmm I miss that body…” or “mmm I forgot how sexy you are in person.” But you DON’T suggest a meet-up. If she hints at one, you just walk away from the conversation again.

      When that isn’t working (depending on how many options she has, this could all be be about 2-3 weeks in or it could take a month and a half…I’m guessing because she’s 40 it’ll be more like 2-3 weeks because she doesn’t have a ton of options and you’ll be a curious new puzzle for her but if you were SUPER beta to her and if she’s not a frequent txter etc. it could go into months). Anyway, when that isn’t working, she’ll escalate more and SHOULD start pitching the meet-up herself.

      So she should start txting stuff like “babe I miss you…when am I going to see you again?” and stuff, where she won’t try to set up the actual date, but she’ll be letting you know in no uncertain terms “I want you to ask me out again”.

      But AGAIN you’re going to be the stripper who runs her thumbs under the line of her panties but won’t QUITE take them off until your customer runs to the ATM to pay for another song lol

      The reason for this is that you have to undo all that beta shit you did before. If you pitch the meet-up before she’s basically chasing you incredibly hardcore, she’ll flake on you or not put out. So you have to step this up way harder than you would with a girl who didn’t already have you in a beta box in her mind.

      So what you’re going to do here is you’re going to start to let her think she’s winning you over slightly, but not really. You’re going to do what a hot 10 would do to her orbiter chode 6: “I miss you too babe…I want to see you again, I just have a lot going on with work right now so I don’t know if I have the time this week.” Or like “mmmm I do miss seeing that sexy body in person. I’ll let you know if I’m free next week.” (and then you never mention it again lol Like you’re not actually seeing if you’re free and getting back to her, you’re just saying “I’ll let you know” and then acting like that conversation never happened).

      Then she should be at the point where she’s going “so?? are you free this week?? xoxo” type shit when you don’t bring it up. And at this point you’re going to set up a flake and flake on her lol

      This sounds like passive-aggressive punishment bla bla bla but it’s just to create some emotional investment on her end and to help get you out of the beta box that you put yourself in prior. Like what says “I’m not the orbiter chode who’s going to chase you around for sex” more than flaking on a date after she’s basically throwing herself at you with her sexuality?

      So, and this’ll probably be like a month or two in (again depending on how fast she’s escalating things), you’re going to do something like, when she’s pitching for you two to meet up, “ok I have some free time Friday night. Meet me at blah at 8pm.” Then on that day just go radio silent on her. Ideally she gets done up and ready to go and txts you to confirm and then gets no response and is like “wtf??” after having invested some effort on her end.

      She’s gonna’ be PISSED lol. Expect your phone to blow up with txts and probably an angry voicemail and shit. This is the part where, if she can fuck with your life, and she’s at all unstable, she’ll fuck with it, so this is the stage that makes me give that disclaimer up above of not trying this.

      The next day you txt her “sorry babe work stuff came up” or “sorry babe fell asleep lol” the same way a hot chick would. Like it’s no big deal and you didn’t even realize you committed some kind of faux pas. She will be pissed and may even go radio silent on you for a week and pretend to delete your number etc. With all this you treat her like the 26YO where you just don’t explain yourself, don’t get sucked into qualifying yourself or your reasons or answering her drama, just chill and ignore most of her angry txts. She’ll be all “you could have at least txted me you jerk I got all done up for you” scolding you and you just be like “lol sorry I fell asleep. I’ll make it up to you next time” (note: even if she intended to flake, she’ll pretend she was all excited and maybe even went to the venue etc., just on principle lol)

      When she’s over being mad at you (could take a week or two), she’ll give you another chance to “make it up to her”. She’ll be trotting out the big “you owe me an expensive dinner and champaign and and–” princess attitude. What you do here is go back to what you did before where you flirt with her but then don’t pitch an actual meet-up. Dangle the carrot for another week or so. Eventually she’ll get to the point (this’ll probably be a solid month and a half to 2 months in) where she’s demanding you take her out. She’ll probably start sounding a little princess entitled attitudey at this point because she’s frustrated.

      Now here’s where you pull the carrot away AGAIN. “I don’t know, I was looking forward to seeing you again babe but I don’t think I like your attitude lately. You used to just be happy to come see me, but now it sounds like you’re more interested in the dinners and presents than me.” and make her qualify hard that she likes you. This’ll help diffuse her expectations of dinner/flowers/presents/apologies/etc.

      You SHOULD be able to get to a point where you can finally suggest a date and she doesn’t flake but also doesn’t expect a bunch of free shit from you. Like everything balances out and evens out to where you’re back to meeting up just to flirt and try to hook up, except now she’s super invested in you and you’re a lot more likely to actually have sex together.

      So there you go. Pretty fucking elaborate and long, hey? Buuut, it should work out pretty close to how I’m describing and turn things around.

      It’s important to understand that the only reason you have to run all this ridiculous shit is that you actively helped her put you in a beta box in your first Blue Pill dating sessions. If you had been all badass Red Pill from the start, you would probably have fucked her on the 1st or 2nd date with minimal investment. She sent out her frame, you fell into it repeatedly, and now you have to break out of it to fix this.

      You COULD try just saying “hey meet me at blah”, and she MIGHT show up, like you may just have luckily hit some window of opportunity where she needs validation right now (maybe she just broke up etc.) or is super horny and you MIGHT get the lay…but I’d put the odds way down at like 10% chance of it. This big plan is long and elaborate, but I’d put it’s odds around 80-90% chance of getting the lay.

      Even if you don’t try this out, the important thing to take away from all this is that that first impression is VERY important. A big part of why I don’t get a lot of LMR or have to take girls on more than one (two absolute MAX) dates (and my dates are just grabbing a couple beers at the bar down the street and then back to my place) to get the lay is that from the moment they meet me I’m outside of the beta Provider frame. They’ll still test me and try to get me to fall into it, but I recognize the tests and blast through them and keep myself out of that frame, so I don’t end up having to climb out of the box most normal non-game guys have to climb out of or work from inside. I’m literally on a different path/course in the girl’s mind than other guys, which is part of what we call being Secret Society (aka Tyler’s big article on that from way back in the old PUA days), so different rules apply for me.

      Hope this helps. Give that Manhood 101 stuff a read when you have some downtime, it’s good shit. Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:21 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      Got an epic huge reply in moderation so check for it. I saved it incase the hamsters eat it lol

      “@yareally, on the 40yo Latina that sent me the happy Memorial Day text today. I am thinking I should send her a “who’s this?” Text tonight. What do you think man?”

      Ya, do that. But do NOT pitch a meet-up. Do NOT. My post will explain in depth why. With this one you’re going to dangle a carrot and flirt but not actually try to meet up with her. You have to break out of the beta frame you put yourself in with her before and that’s going to require you to actively not chase her. Try to keep the txting her to a minimum till you read my post so you understand what’s going on exactly, but a “who’s this?” tonight is alright. Just do NOT pitch a meet up, and do NOT agree to one if she pitches one or you’ll end up with her flaking or not putting out, because you taught her that that’s what your relationship is lol


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 9:52 pm
      Original Link

      @Slothrop
      “This kid needed real professional help to get his brain in a somewhat working order before he started interacting with women.”

      And what professional help would he get? Psychologists trained to try to force more Blue Pill nonsense on him that doesn’t jive with the world he sees around him? Throw him on some more drugs and numb him so we don’t have to deal with him? Advice from some psyche chick who has no idea what it’s like to be a man or some old psyche dude who married his high-school girlfriend and got divorced recently? Are those people going to help a kid who’s biggest frustration that he’s advertising to the entire world in his YouTube videos is “I don’t know how to attract girls”?

      “By the time he was in college he was too far gone and his attitudes were completely toxic.”

      Agreed, it would have been better to get to him sooner. Which is why the MSM berating game/red pill teaching is doing damage, because it’s preventing a kid like this from getting help earlier when someone could make a difference.

      But he still could have been given enough tools to maybe take the edge off his killing spree notions if someone had gotten to him in his late teens. Even a guy who’s faking it can pull off getting a few dates if he knows exactly WHAT to fake.

      “But that’s not the prescription when you’re talking about with guys with severe social disorders.”

      Okay, so what’s your solution? You don’t have one, and that’s kind of my point.

      Everyone will point at kids like this and go “wow that guy is fucked” and then move on and just kind of hope he “goes away”. Except he doesn’t go away, he’s a human being who has 60+ years ahead of him in the society he doesn’t understand how to fit into and no one will help him try to because they just go “that kid is fucked up, he needs professional help” without really thinking about what that means and what that help would BE and how it would even begin to solve the things that are frustrating him and building up the ticking time bomb inside his head.

      PUA/Game/Red Pill/Manosphere/hell even MGTOW, are all at least TRYING to give answers to these guys that will actually help them deal with the shit that’s frustrating them. Because you don’t have a solution for them, you just write them off as “beyond help”, Feminists don’t have a solution they call him creepy and hope he just goes away and doesn’t exist anymore, his dad wasn’t around to give him any solutions, he can’t have any male mentors in his life to give him solutions because we live in pedophile-paranoia and keep adult males away from kids in their developing years, the psyche industry can’t relate to his issues because they learned from the Blue Pill book and that kid will take one look at them and go “have you ever dated a hot tall blonde? no? then wtf am I doing listening to your shit”, and everybody just writes him off.

      Except that there are thousands of these guys, hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, stewing away lost and frustrated.

      Ignoring this shit and writing them off as “too fucked to help” without offering any kind of useful solution isn’t exactly working, is it?

      “but for at least some of those guys who are really fucked-up, the game approach took them from bad to worse.”

      Ya this kid would need a long-term mentor who had game, like someone who could have hung with him when he was in his teens and helped teach him how social interactions work and help him learn to approach girls etc. Some weekend bootcamp wasn’t going to fix him, I’ve expressly said that already.

      “Point being, he was not a quivering “nice guy” stereotype at all”

      He was a kid with a mental disorder who was given no guidance on how to achieve the things he wanted in life. I never said he was a quivering Nice Guy. He was a kid who didn’t understand how the world around him worked and why it didn’t align with the promises society made him.


  • yeahokcool
    on May 26, 2014 at 3:25 pm
    Original Link

    I am not suggesting that not getting laid or being a virgin through your 20s means you are homosexual. I am not suggesting you, or other such commenters, who got laid later than most are homosexual. I AM suggesting that THIS virgin may have remained so because he was struggling with same sex attraction based on my reading his manifesto. This is not about you. Talk about the irony of your using the word “projection”


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:33 pm
      Original Link

      @yeahokcool
      Not sure if this is a reply to me or not. I didn’t use the word projection anywhere lol

      My point and I think Harland’s point is simply that having a stunted view of sexuality and sexual relationships isn’t something you can draw conclusions of homosexual struggles from because it’s a very common thing for guys who are fully bought into the Disney mindset and Madonna/whore complexes (ie – “Suzy from school isn’t like those dirty whores in porn, she’s a perfect angel and I’m not one of those jerks who would just view her as a sexual object, I just want to hold hands on the beach with her and be together because that’s REAL love”).

      It’s kind of a stunted growth thing. Like being a big man-child or still believing in santa clause as an adult when everyone else around you has figured everything out and you didn’t get the memo (or refused that memo because you were too bought-in to your world view). I couldn’t even refer to real life girls as “sexy” when I was like 22, because I was so bought into conditioning to not view them that way and only call them “pretty” or “beautiful” and even THAT made me uncomfortable to do around other people or even inside my own head.

      Like, there might be other shit in his manifesto that implies he’s struggling with homosexuality (though I’ve read a lot of it and I don’t really see it that way at all, I know a lot of straight dudes who are just super effeminate because they got a bad luck of the draw in the gene pool), but all Harland and I are pointing out is that this specific thing isn’t an accurate indicator of that and is actually a very common behavior amongst long-term virgins who are bought into Disney conditioning.

      (it also took me a loooong time to get over that conditioning lol I had to actively work on being comfortable using words like “sexy”, even inside my own head let alone in out loud in front of other people)


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 6:34 pm
      Original Link

      Side note: for anyone curious about the guy’s manifesto but who doesn’t want to sit down and read the thing, here’s Stefan Molyneux reading it out and breaking a lot of it down:



The Psychosis Of The Effeminate Male

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on May 26, 2014 at 9:22 pm
Original Link

FR 26 May 2014

Okay, after that mega-initial post, a shorter FR about my latest experiences.

INTRO – STRIP CLUB GAME
—————————–

Particularly because I’m finding it so difficult with wings right now, I decided about 2-3 weeks ago to focus on strip club game for a while – largely because it is so much easier to go to strip clubs alone and the girls approach you (and approaching practice is not a priority for me right now so I don’t need to practice that).

I read all the standard PUA advice for strip clubs (and YaReally and his posts on strippers among other things) and I implemented it (dress well, buy drinks, go on quiet nights, don’t perv at the women, don’t buy dances, don’t stay too long etc). I did get dances the first couple of times just to get a feel for how the place works, but not since then.

Have been about 10-12 times in the last 2-3 weeks to about 4-5 strip clubs (one particular one about 4-5 times as I really like the chilled out vibe).

I’m doing this more to help build my frame maintaining skills (and cos I can go alone) and to practice building a connection with women trying to get money out of me and less out of any *immediate* goal of SNLing a stripper or even a number close. Until my skills get a lot better, anything like that will be luck more than skill (but when it happens, I ain’t complaining).

It’s a fascinating experience. It’s interesting how conducive the environment in those clubs is to just chill and hang out and spend cash.

STRIP CLUBS – WHAT THEY ARE LIKE
———————————

All the standard stuff you’d expect really – girls trying every trick in the book for a dance, using their sexuality, trying to guilt me (saying I was cheap for only coming and drinking but not giving the girls cash, etc). Lots of hustlers who ask for a dance at either the 30 sec mark or 2 min mark and going off if I say no.

I’ve noticed my self-control is pretty good – no matter how hot they are (and how good it feels when they rub up against me), it’s pretty much impossible for them to convince me to have a dance. I’ve weakened (but not succumbed) a couple of times – both with girls I genuinely *liked* – as in they were hot, but they took the time to talk to me, and they were smart, and funny and made me laugh.

Most (but not all) times I go to a strip club I can get atleast one girl to sit down and have a “real” conversation with me for 20-30 mins without hassling me for dances. I’ve managed to get their real names a couple of times too but no closes yet (it’s a simple trick – after 20 mins I pretend I’ve forgotten the (stripper) name they introduced themselves with and ask for their name again. I don’t ask for their “real” name – just say “What was your name?”. If they like me they usually tell me their real name then and it doesn’t put them on the spot by ASKING for the real name).

I can tell these girls are genuinely enjoying the conversations and enjoying talking to me and listening to my stories(esp since they stay with me long after it is obvious I’m not having any dances) but they are still in professional mode. It’s much rarer and harder to “break through” beyond that to the girl inside. I’m getting better at spotting fake IOIs incidentally – it’s fascinating to notice the laugh that’s just a little too hard for the quality of the joke, or the kino from her that I didn’t earn..

STRIP CLUBS – INTERESTING EXPERIENCES
———————————-

Having said that, a few times I’ve managed to “break through” into attraction:

-On my first day, I had a long talk with a brunette girl who hasn’t been a stripper long. Cos it was my first day and I was getting used to the club, I did have a dance from her early on, but I got her real name and I trust my instincts enough to know I really broke through – I could see the real (earned) IOIs. I tried to number close her and she said no, but even there I got the sense that I could have pushed a bit harder and got it.

-Another very hot brunette – I got through almost my accident (I started with the usual stories I tell etc and teased her) and something just “hit” – I asked some shit about supernatural stuff and ghosts and she was really into it and started to open up and tell me about her experience meeting a demon or something but I miscalibrated and teased her about it just as she was opening up and she got really offended and walked off – a real pity that one

-Yet another hot brunette (can you tell I have a type? :) – Again, hooked well to my stories, never asked about a dance, was engaged and invested in conversation – fucked up by her cockblocking friend (basically the two of them approached me together and the friend went on endlessly about a dance which I kept refusing and she kept returning to. Then the friend went to do her stage show and for ten minutes I did really well, and then she came back and stuck to us like a limpet and I couldn’t isolate – very frustrating)

-Another hot brunette – Very articulate and sassy so we basically just poked fun at each other once she realized I wasn’t going to get dances – I barely did my usual stories (she even said she was “bored” with one of them). I just held my frame and it was actually a lot of fun. She kept going away and hunting customers (it was an unusually busy night) and then coming back to me – like 3 or 4 times. A couple of things she said really stuck in my head – one was something along the lines of how I’ve been to a lot of strip clubs before and know my way around (this was like visit No. 4 in my life to a strip club) which was basically confirmation that I was giving off exactly the vibe I wanted to give.

Another (well into the conversation) was like a very timid un-committed approach by a guy to a hot girl- the similarities are striking actually and the result was the same. She was like “So, umm..if you don’t want a dance..you wouldn’t want to give me a tip would you..?” I looked at her like she was crazy and just said “No” very firmly and you could actually *see* her BT spike when I did that – she actually gave me a big smile and her body relaxed – it’s hard to describe – it’s almost as if she had her suspicions about me and my answer confirmed them. I lost her when a big spending customer came in and she went off for the cash – if I could have moved her into comfort mode I may have been able to close.

Plus there have been a few girls (3 in particular) who I nearly had dances with just because they were fun, cool girls and I talked to them for ages (like nearly an hour) and we really clicked and it was obvious they enjoyed talking to me but I never broke through to attraction or got them out of stripper mode (it’s not the be all and end all, but for eg, they never gave me their real names, except for one who I tried to number close and who politely said no). I think the problem here was that the conversations here were so fun that I just let them go on naturally without guiding them in my direction or my usual stories or maintaining general alpha mannerisms..sort of getting too caught up in the conversation itself.

CONCLUSION
————–

What I find really interesting is spotting the differences between real attraction and just chatting. Spotting fake IOIs is actually pretty easy – the too loud laugh, the unearned kino etc. But the subtle difference between a girl who likes chatting to me and enjoys my company for real but is still in stripper mode looking around for her next customer, and one who is genuinely hooked and attracted is very interesting because a lot of it is very similar – no hassles about dances etc.

It’s hard to articulate but it is almost as if the latter involves a mixture of the girl giving me the Eyes (what Mystery Method used to call the Doggy Dinner Bowl look) and looking at me with eyes that say “Who IS this guy? I’ve never met anyone like him before – he’s not like the usual guy we see around here”, but the girl who is just enjoying having a chat with a cool guy doesn’t do that.

Oh and one time I got chatting to another solo guy at the strip club and it turns out he might actually become an important professional contact so that just goes to show – it’s not all about the women!

Any tips and thoughts on my approach to strippers (esp how to break through and form a real connection) or anything else on my posts appreciated.

I’ve just started reading Juggler Method to study how to build comfort/connection and that’s my next step – to apply it to both strippers and normal clubs as I think that’s my sticking point and closing will be much easier after that. I’m also learning a lot about text game but that’s just a question of practice (I’ve been reading a lot of YaReally and CH stuff on text game).


  • YaReally
    on May 27, 2014 at 5:07 pm
    Original Link

    @Culum
    “What I find really interesting is spotting the differences between real attraction and just chatting. Spotting fake IOIs is actually pretty easy – the too loud laugh, the unearned kino etc. But the subtle difference between a girl who likes chatting to me and enjoys my company for real but is still in stripper mode looking around for her next customer, and one who is genuinely hooked and attracted is very interesting because a lot of it is very similar – no hassles about dances etc. ”

    There are a lot of lessons the learn from strip clubs lol:

    1) That feeling you get where she’s faking it is the same feeling girls get when you open them but aren’t REALLY engaged in making them feel special or wanted but you’re just opening them to use them for your own state boost while secretly half checked-out of the conversation thinking about the hotter girl across the room that you’d rather be talking to or keeping an eye out for better girls. It makes the person feel like shit.

    So when you’re running Juggler method etc, be full engaged and try to really take an interest in the person even if it’s just for a few minutes. People can FEEL that sincerity.

    2) Most guys can NOT spot the difference between real and fake interest, because they don’t spend much time flirting with women (aside from a girlfriend who is by default attracted to them or a few girls in their social circle that may or may not be interested in them and the occasional once every 3 months or so random girl they talk to who they run away from before they fuck the interaction up lol). This is why most of those strippers all have regular customers who all think she’s in love with them, that all those other guys are chumps etc. But when you can actually tell the difference between real/fake IOIs you can figure out which camp you’re in and whether their interest is legit or not.

    Also girls/feminists/etc. will tell you that you only THINK you can tell but really women are all A-list actresses who are impossible to predict or read when they don’t want you to be able to…that’s bullshit feminine propaganda, don’t buy into it. It’s very easy to spot fake iois when you know what’s up. Her sitting with you when she knows you aren’t going to be any money for her and NOT hitting you up for a dance is an ioi (she may not be in love with you or anything but there’s some attraction there). Her giving you a blatant ioi when you KNOW from exeperience that you really haven’t done anything to earn it, that’s a fake ioi. So your awareness is solid.

    3) Those girls are normal girls. They often have other jobs or school or whatever…they’re not in sexy princess on a pedestal stripper mode at home on Christmas morning opening presents with their big brother teasing them. They respond to game the same way normal girls do, but you have to escape the customer frame first is all. Once they know you’re not the usual beta AFC customer guy, you get a completely different interaction than those guys do and you can actually talk to the real girl.

    4) Funny thing to notice is that if a stripper approaches a group in front of you and gets shot down, she won’t then move onto you, she’ll go run away to the back or to the other side of the room or sit down somewhere and txt and THEN come back to you after a bit. Because they understand that you won’t feel special if you see them just going from table to table. This is what happens when girls see a high-energy PUA type at the bar who isn’t actually committing to any sets, he’s just buzzing from set to set trying to get some validation, because he doesn’t care which one he gets, they’re all interchangeable to him, so none of them are special. It’s off-putting. Try sticking some sets out for a while, even if you probably aren’t going to fuck them, and have quality interactions VS quantity, especially if you’re stuck in the same small bar for like 4 hours straight.

    5) Talk about sex with strippers lol They love the topic and it helps you get more comfortable with it. I’m extremely comfortable in a strip-club because sex is normalized for me but when I started going out and gaming I was super intimidated by sex and had an asexual friendly-but-not-fuckable vibe because sex was all taboo too me. Legitimately look the girls on the stage up and down and check out their bodies and enjoy the female form.

    6) I always clap. It helps put me in a good state, makes me stand out, and sometimes you can get other guys to clap too which is good for the stripper’s ego. She just got up there buck naked and put herself out there, nothing wrong with a little encouragement so she isn’t leaving the stage in dead silence. Sometimes I’m the only one clapping lol then I just make fun of the other guys to the stripper if she comes over and say “why don’t these guys clap, they must be shy lol”

    7) Focus on holding eye-contact with them. Search my archives for Liam McRea’s Rapid Escalation seminar where he explains eye-contact in depth. Even more specifically watch how the strippers use eye-contact on you. The good ones know to lock it on because it intimidates most guys and makes them pop wood and cave and get dances. Try locking eyes on them and staring right back with sexual intent and no flinching…you’ll notice the girls are a little puzzled at first and then they crank their eye-contact up even harder or cut the space and get closer in your face, but if you just calmly intently keep that eye-contact locked, you’ll start building crazy sexual chemistry between the two of you that blows their mind because they don’t run into many guys who can keep eye-contact. I actually primarily only go to strip clubs to practice my eye-contact and sexual flirting lol I don’t buy dances…I could spend that $20 at a normal bar and probably get laid lol


    • YaReally
      on May 28, 2014 at 6:25 pm
      Original Link

      @Culum
      “I was thinking of the girls who are willing to chat with me and not ask for dances (but not obviously attracted) as “not interested””

      She could make $20 – $100 sitting with the guy beside you.

      “then it’s more like they are attracted, but just less so – as in, it’s more of a spectrum and less of a yes/no thing.”

      Basically if she’s chilling with you but you guys don’t have an actively flirty sexual vibe together, that means she views you as “cool”. She doesn’t view you as one of the creepers there, she views you as the guy that’s safe that she can take a break from being a stripper and just chill and be a normal girl for a few minutes and often just be herself.

      That doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you, but it’s a good sign that the vibe you’re giving off is “I’m a cool chill guy who isn’t a creeper”. It’s GOOD to be this guy in a stripclub VS being a customer they ask for dances.

      If she’s not that into you but chilling at your table and not asking for dances, I like to practice laser eye-contact and basic rapport-building (Juggler stuff) and see if I can spark something. If not that’s cool, we just chill till she has to get up and do her rounds and I wish her luck and tell her to make some $ or point out some guy who looks like he’d get dances from her if I notice one of them.

      If she’s sitting with you and actively flirting with you, AND not asking you for dances, she’s into you but I don’t know what to really do from there lol Logically some kind of subtle contact-close but there’s so much ASD around her giving her number out (a lot of them have 2nd phones for their job) etc. that there are probably other guys with more experience at it out there who’ve written more useful stuff for that stage of things.

      Also keep in mind that the hottest girls aren’t going to shit a brick over you. Best analogy is if you found a $10,000 bill on the ground you and I would jump for joy and run around cheering and singing about our good fortune. If Bill Gates found a $10,000 bill on the ground, that would be cool, and he’d be like “hey, that’s great!” but he’s already got $10,000 bills so he’s not going to be as expressive that he’s excited…so a lot of times a really high-value chick will simply “be around you” to show she’s interested, VS a 6 who will paw at your shirt and tell you “omg I love your hair” and shit because it’s amazing to her that you’re flirting with her.

      “Interesting that you say talk about sex with strippers. I’ve been avoiding this so far and sticking to more “mundane” conversation topics to avoid coming across like a customer guy who views them only as a sexual plaything etc.”

      The key is to just be non-judgemental about sex. I like to tell funny/embarrassing sexual stories so it’s not just some creepy perv going “so what kind of panties do you like to wear hurr hurr durr” which is what they get a lot of lol But instead it’s some lol-worthy story about casual sex that gets her laughing and opens her up to share her own similar stories etc. and then she sees that I’m just a cool guy with no sexual hang-ups, there to enjoy the beautiful women.

      A lot of the guys in a stripclub are very awkward about sex, despite being there. They have weird creepy views or view the women as pieces of shit or are there to mentally get off on having a pretty girl talking about sexual things or they’re so repressed and ashamed to be in there that they stay on gentlemanly topics which half the time is just their attempt to try to separate themselves from the “other guys” there who are all pervy losers but he’s the true gentleman who would respect her and bla bla bla but usually they know what’s up.

      Being in a stripclub and pretending to not be a sexual guy is like being in a buffet line with food on your plate and pretending not to be hungry lol I say just embrace that you like sex and that you’re a sexual guy, and do it in a fun flirty non-judgemental way.

      For a stripper to bang/date a guy, she has to know that he’s not going to be some judgemental dude that’s going to make her quit work or come in every shift and jealously glare at the guys who talk to her or give her drama about her job or clients and all that shit. So when you’re giving off the vibe that you’re cool with sex and not jealous and non-judgemental and stuff it’s like “ahh finally a cool guy who, if I fucked him, would probably not bring negative shit into my life!”

      I haven’t banged a stripper (close a few times and starting to mess around with it a bit more lately just ’cause I have some buddies who like to go) but I figure this is the route I would try.

      “Will focus more on EC – the importance of that hadn’t occurred to me at all. I’ve done it by accident a couple of times – esp with one of the strippers who sat with me for ages without a dance (but didn’t go to the doggy dinner bowl attraction stage). It was just electric, the sexual tension – we kept looking each other in the eyes and both of us were sort of half-smirking (not smiling to break the tension).”

      Yep. Explore this further. Do it on purpose, and then carry it out into your normal bar sets and online dates. I’ve had a number of dates where the girl wasn’t that into me at the start and the vibe wasn’t really there but sexual eye-contact while we had a drink and talked about sexual topics turned things around and got me the lay that night.

      Strippers are great to practice on because they’re pro at it (the ones who make good money anyway) and they’re mind-blown when you can do it back to them (sparks attraction in them that they’re usually surprised by because no guy in months has held eye-contact with them for more than a few seconds) which is super funny/cute to see the microexpressions of confusion/attraction on their face lol



Goodbye America In A Photo

Original Link

via Heartiste

Gouverneur Morris
on May 24, 2014 at 1:02 pm
Original Link
  • The Dissident
    on May 24, 2014 at 1:34 pm
    Original Link
    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 11:31 am
      Original Link

      “With game he could have easily leveraged his money to get 10′s.”

      At the end of the day, that girl still has to decide “I would like this P in my V”. He could get ACCESS to 10s, he could be AROUND them, but that’s as close as he’ll get except for golddiggers, and a golddigger will just be into him for his money. He clearly wanted a girl to legitimately like him and want to hold hands with him on the beach and shit, or he could’ve just gone out and bought hookers.

      Money gives you easier access to hot girls, but if you’re being taught that “your money can get 10′s man”, you’re in for frustrating disappointment. He may even be able to get a chick to fuck him, but she’s not going to stick around, which is what he was looking for.

      “One problem is that the PUA community does everything it can to badmouth the very idea.”

      No, we agree that it’s good to have that stuff, but 1) it’s not good to rely on it because girls will figure out your internals are fucked as you spend time with them and you’ll lose them or you’ll get stuck with golddiggers who use you 2) it won’t make the girl wet or they’d all soak their pants when they walked into a bank vault, it’ll just give you an easier opportunity to talk to a hot girl which doesn’t mean you’re getting laid, and 3) not having that stuff yet isn’t an excuse to not start approaching and learning to talk to girls.

      To paraphrase the video below: “They need for people to see they have a big yatch in order to feel comfortable with themselves. When their yatch isn’t around they feel naked. It’s like when you have your favorite shirt and when you’re not wearing it you don’t feel good. As you get more and more money you buy your favorite yatch, but you don’t feel comfortable when you don’t have your favorite yatch around. (…) If you compare yourself to other people you won’t win, there will always be someone better than you.”

      He could absolutely flash his money around and get sex, he could have just gone to an escort service. But the kid wanted a chick to love him for “him” and do all that romantic relationship stuff. No amount of money is keeping a 10 around if your internals are fucked, unless she’s cheating on you on the side and just using you for the free financial ride and that’s not going to end any better than this did.


  • YaReally
    on May 24, 2014 at 2:25 pm
    Original Link

    Tragic shit. His video about his plan is like every cartoony stereotype about beta male frustration rolled into one, to the point where I would just think it was a parody/joke…except that he actually went out on a killing spree.

    The saddest part is that this kid is decent looking, clearly well off financially, like, there’s no reason for this to have happened if he had simply gotten some help and started taking action. I probably could’ve gotten this kid laid by some cute blondes in under a year easy. I read that he was subscribed to some pickup channels (including RSD lol) which means that he was AWARE of game concepts and such…but I would guess that he didn’t actually go out and APPLY them and try them out and actually get long-term coaching/mentorship and help (which he could definitely afford if just posting Field Reports for free advice wasn’t enough for him).

    The MSM will tool pickup and paint it as this horrible evil thing and then call this kid some loser who feels entitled to hot blonde pussy and drop the usual feminist snark about “like kissing a girl is going to help this psycho” and it’s like you know what? It actually MIGHT.

    Hugh Hefner isn’t about to go on a killing spree. I’ve watched a bunch of guys mellow out after they started getting some success with women, even minor success.

    Like Tyler says in one of his videos “it’s funny how many mental problems and depression and anger issues suddenly “go away” once a guy starts getting laid. WEIRD.” lol

    I always find it fascinating that society will be completely against this kid going to find help to learn how to talk to girls and be fun and cool and social and charismatic, but they’d be cool with him going to a personal trainer to get in shape, or to Toastmasters to learn to speak in front of audiences confidently, or to vocal coaches to learn to speak well, or to improv class to learn to be witty…but if you combine all those things together and add in “plus we’re going to focus this all toward getting laid” suddenly everybody loses their mind.

    Like what do they expect this kid to do? 22yo, virgin, money to burn, but fuck him getting any help. Let’s shame him. What he SHOULD do is just live out the next 60 years of his life as a frustrated incel and accept that he’s a loser on the bottom run of society. Let’s all just ignore him and turn our backs and laugh and expect him to stay where he is and be happy being nothing and being invisible and frustrated and shame him if he tries to get any help to improve his position in life. Men are disposable, the only men that exist to feminists are the rich CEOs…the frustrated incel kid who’s contemplating a future of sexual frustration and depression is as invisible to them as the guy working in a coal mine or as a sewage worker just barely paying his rent, alimony and child support. Those guys just don’t “exist” to women.

    And then they’re surprised when those guys crack and lash out. Who could see THAT coming? Anyone who was paying attention, really.

    Anyway, this is a tragic example of what happens when frustration with the Blue Pill builds up and a guy doesn’t take action. That’s why I have mad respect for the guys who are out there sarging and actually experiencing that getting shot down isn’t the end of the world and slowly learning to be more charismatic and attractive and getting bits of success here and there. Like, good on you…’cause just having access to the information isn’t enough. You have to actually take action and live it for it to help you. Even last night I saw some lame guys that I can tell are “pickup newbies” who were out hoping to try to talk to some girls and like, ya they weren’t cool guys and I’m probably not going to become their BFF or anything, but like, good on them for at least getting out there and trying. And if I saw one of them checking out some specific girl he was into but was clearly too nervous to talk to I’d probably introduce her to him and run away and help him out just ’cause hey, he showered up and came out to try so I can respect that.

    In my own case, I don’t think I would’ve ended up like this kid (and I was a kissless dateless virgin longer than him lol). I’ve met guys who I DO worry that “wow this guy is going to snap and shoot up his office one day if he doesn’t get laid soon”, but for myself I was like how the guy in 40 Year Old Virgin describes it where there comes a point where you just accept it and it doesn’t frustrate you anymore because that’s just how life is. I didn’t have enough confidence or any of society’s list of external attributes that are attractive to expect success with girls. So I just accepted my place in life and that girls just weren’t interested in me, some guys have it and some don’t, and that I was a guy who just didn’t have it. So I wasn’t full of pent up anger and frustration because I didn’t feel like I actually deserved anything. But I was definitely in danger of going down the 40 Year Old Virgin road where I would’ve basically become that character lol

    This whole situ is part of why I spend as much time writing about this shit as I do. ’cause I know this stuff helps, and has probably helped a few lurkers that I’ll never even know existed, get their shit together and get off a negative spiral and start on a journey toward a better life. It’s also why I’m happy when other people get laid at the bar and I’ll introduce random beta/AFC looking guys to random girls, because I know that even that one 2 minute interaction with the girl that doesn’t even go anywhere is probably the highlight of that dude’s year and who knows what that’s going to start in his mind when he realizes “hey, you know what, maybe I CAN talk to girls when I’m out…”


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 11:53 am
      Original Link

      @Nicole
      “Depression,anxiety,anger and suicidal ideation often have their roots in social ostracism and loneliness”

      Agreed. The sad part to me is that men are shit on if they feel any of that. A woman is sad and everyone rushes to help her and cheer her up. Some lonely boy is sad and everyone says “man up you fuckin’ pussy. wtf you couldn’t get laid? You must be impotent, you’re a piece of shit, gettin’ laid is easy bro. You’re rich, you could easily get hot 10/10 bitches with your money, you must be inadequate as a man if you can’t. What? You want help? Support? A community of men who feel the same way and can maybe help you out? Fuckin fuzzy hat wearing loser trying to manipulate women into bed with your patriarchal entitlement issues! Fuck you for not just knowing what to do or how to be a man from the start even though you were raised by a single mom in our “eat pray love divorce-cash-in culture” and all female teachers in school because of our “every man is a pedophile” culture and didn’t have any male influence in your adolescence to help you figure shit out…also keep down in class and don’t express yourself or we’ll put you on Ritalin.”

      Like is it really any wonder that shit like this happens when there are probably thousands of ticking time bombs like this kid out there that nobody gives a shit about?

      I’m not saying the kid wasn’t a sociopath or anything, but if you have a kid who’s got too much energy and you don’t give him a productive plan or activity to pour that energy into productively, he still needs to express that energy and it’s going to come out as vented frustration…and when society shits on him for that venting, it’s just a recipe for a disaster.

      Part of why pickup can help is that it’s giving an action plan for guys who have no direction and no idea what to do. Results may vary but at least we’re saying “look, if you try to develop a positive attitude and let go of your negative shit and go out and make friends and talk to girls, and here are the steps to do exactly that, we’ll even tell you the exact words to try saying until you have enough practice at it that you can improvise and learn to become a normal human being, you can improve this part of your life”. Instead of society’s solution which is “ugh what a creep, you’re a creepy weirdo, you think women owe you sex, you probably want to rape women you misogynistic asshole, snark snark snark” and hoping he just “goes away” and vanishes under the carpet to never be seen or heard from again.

      But that’s still a human being, that person is still out there working at your Starbucks and driving on the same road you are and watching Game of Thrones and shit, and he’s got 60+ years of time to either get worse or get better…sweeping him under the rug isn’t going to help him get better. I think as a society we need to understand this better, but we have such a default view of men being disposable and faceless that at this point in time no one really gives enough of a shit to help take care of men’s mental health.

      “What interests me that a lot men don’t really WANT to become players, they are interested in finding one women to love and return that love even in today’s world.”

      Agreed, that’s why I got into game actually. At the time I just wanted a girlfriend to hold and cuddle and watch TV with lol A lot of guys just want to get enough game to get a handle on their confidence and have a little more opportunity than they have now.

      The problem is our Disney culture conditioned these men to believe in True Love and the flawless significant other who’s perfect and completes them and will never do wrong by them, women are perfect flowers who can’t do any wrong, and that one person is going to be the solution for all of your needs from comfort to sex to support to entertainment, etc. instead of teaching them that sometimes you click with some people more than others and it’s pretty awesome to spend time with those people you click with and you should be grateful for that, especially if it lasts a long time, but that other person is a normal flawed human being just like you are and sometimes they might do shitty or uncool things and you guys have to work through that or find better people for yourselves and that’s okay because there are a lot of people out there that you’ll have a good connection with and probably none of them will be completely perfect but that’s an unfair expectation to put on another person to begin with.

      “Men seem to be much more romantic and sentimental than the women I see.”

      http://therationalmale.com/2012/09/10/men-in-love/

      I would say that men tend to be much more susceptible to the brainwashing of our socially conditioned narrative that teaches them that women are perfect princesses that can do no wrong and that finding “the one” will make their lives complete etc. and end up crashing a lot harder when they realize that women aren’t perfect, the same way they aren’t perfect, and they aren’t given tools to deal with that in a healthy productive positive way when it happens.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 12:07 pm
      Original Link

      “Introducing AFC’s to girls–nice motives, but does it actually help them if they have anti-game?”

      This question assumes that “helping them” means “sticking their P in their V”. These guys are so AFC that they don’t view that as success. They don’t even comprehend that they COULD do that. To them even getting a coffee date or a 20 minute conversation is a fucking miracle success worth jumping across rooftops shouting “I’m king of the worrrrrld!!!”

      So ya, it helps them. It doesn’t get their dick wet, and guys like you and I would probably lol at “it’s just a conversation dude, and she wasn’t even really that into me”, but for that guy it’s like “holy shit I actually talked to a girl tonight!!!”

      If they want to take it from there, cool, there are resources to help with that. If not, that’s alright too, at least they had a break from the depressing monotony of going out and NOT interacting with the girls around them lol

      “Do they ever look at your archive? It’s gold, but do they ever read it?”

      You can lead a horse to water and all that. That’s why I encourage guys to go out and just do simple shit like make eye-contact or ask where the bathroom is etc…because those are things where the guy is probably not going to fuck it up and he can start seeing “hmm you know, maybe I can get better at this…” and maybe drink the water. But ultimately it’s up to him how much action he decides to take.

      “I aim for a win/win outcome–some AFC gives me a few bucks and he gets a practical plan that will help him improve himself and approach girls.”

      I just enjoy teaching and helping guys solve their shit, because other guys helped me for free and I know how much of a difference it made in my life. Pay it forward type attitude. And I actually do “win” in the outcome, in that 1) I help solidify my own thoughts/mindsets when I write them out and break down my own behaviors to further develop my self-awareness which has all sorts of benefits in general, 2) I get psyched when I see a guy making progress (like reco’s adventures the past couple weeks and Scray, Hunter, etc. as they learn) because I’m happy for them and I remember how that felt when I did it, and 3) if I’m in-field and I’m introducing random girls to random guys I get a state boost out of it because it’s fun to me and puts me in a good mood myself which translates to my vibe being awesome which translates to me having more fun in-field. So to me it’s win/win, even though it doesn’t pay my rent lol

      “it takes social intelligence to be able to figure out that a follower wants you to push her boundaries”

      I don’t dance, but everything you described about dancing there is how I view sex. Leading, calibrating, and pushing her boundaries. :)

      Also on the dancing note, I think it’s important to have some kind of gameplan with it (like guys like you who do dancefloor game write about) ’cause I’ve known guys who are amazing dancers but who don’t know how to take it from “this is fun, dancing with eachother is a fun time” to “I’m into you, let’s go fuck” lol It’s incredibly frustrating to watch as a guy who doesn’t dance because it’s like “omg dude, she’s RIGHT THERE, she loves you, just make a move!!!” lol So good on you for helping those guys out.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 3:24 pm
      Original Link

      “I made the same point about socially ostracized males being susceptible to acts of senseless violence at a dinner party the other night. I was met with disgust and incredulous looks, as if I myself was a sociopath for even suggesting such a thing”

      ya this is the reaction I’m talking about. Like, the notion that boys/men could be suffering is laughed and snarked at because men are supposed to be tough and women are generally too solipsistic to view men as having problems (and they don’t WANT men to have problems because that’s not attractive lol). And even if they acknowledge there’s a problem, they don’t have any kind of action plan to help those boys…they just kind of hope they’ll slink down into the shadows and disappear. Like some videogame where if the character isn’t on-screen, he doesn’t exist anymore.

      But those men exist and they’re communicating with eachother over the net and sharing experiences and it’s the blind leading the blind because they don’t know how to help themselves and no one outside of them will help them because the rest of the “normal” world is under the Blue Pill conditioning where they say “it’s not that hard to get laid dude jeeze” and “just get lots of money and you’ll get 10s” and “sex isn’t that big a deal (coming from a girl who can put on a push-up bra and get macked on whenever she wants, to an incel who can’t get a girl to talk to him let alone want to spend any kind of time with him let ALONE fuck him…brb rich person telling a poor person that money isn’t everything when the poor person can’t pay their rent this month lol)”

      Men need a plan to follow. And we had that before. It was go to school, get a good job, you’ll get a good wife, and you guys will get a house and a white pickett fence and 2.5 kids and maybe under the surface it won’t all be perfect but you’ll stick it out together and try to make it work.

      But then the Internet let men share what was really happening and how many incel marriages were out there and women started their eat pray love adventures in their prime and family/divorce courts reward them for hitching a guy and ditching him on a whim while everyone supports her and says he must have fucked up because society believes women are flawless and never sometimes just shitty people like everyone else can be…so men following that old plan ended up getting shafted because they held up their end of the deal and then got rocked and ended up in the Manosphere/MRA/PUA communities.

      Now we have the next generation coming in…no male role models in their life because the men have been divorced and kicked to the curb on an “I’m not haaaaaapy today” whim, pedophile paranoia means that as a man you can’t even take your own kids to the playground without people calling the cops on you, men are scared to interact with kids because of false accusations or misinterpretations of how it would look, school has been feminized and boys are put on drugs to get them to fall in line…

      And no one really has a PLAN for these boys. Because there’s no mentors or role models to give them one. Women don’t have a plan because they can’t teach a man how to be a man and they’re busy with their own shit. All they can do is give the boy a woman’s plan which creates a nice little white knight soldier who gives women what they want but never actually gets what he needs because that stuff is inherently unattractive to women as the Red Pill has figured out.

      Like I’m not a military guy at all, but at least the military gives aimless boys a structure and goals and discipline and puts them on some kind of path. That’s what boys need, some kind of direction. As a PUA I’d like to help put them on a path that leads to healthy social lives and fun win/win relationships, but our advice is lol’ed at and rejected by the MSM and anti-gamers and white knights so boys brought up in that environment reject it as bad manipulative evil shit before really looking into it.

      But those people scoffing at the plan we provide aren’t actually providing a plan themselves. They’re just saying “don’t do that”, not “don’t do that, do this instead”…if they DO say “do this instead”, the thing they recommend doing is the thing that actively doesn’t work and gets the opposite result of what they promised so the boy ends up frustrated because he thought he was following a plan that would lead somewhere and it turned out to lead to a dead end.

      It’s really a sad state of affairs because everyone will just write this shooter off as a psycho anomaly and no one will really look at “you know, there are like, a SHITLOAD of guys who feel the same frustrations this kid did…maybe we should look at where that’s coming from and maybe look at providing some kind of productive positive action plan for boys that doesn’t just serve women’s goals (which is what most advice is based on) but also achieves their own goals because men’s needs/wants are important too.”

      But if you dare say that, you get the horrified stares across the dinner table and the Jezzie snarkers saying “oh so you think a woman owes you sex because you’re a Nice Guy, I guess women aren’t real human beings in charge of their own bodies, check your privilege you entitled shitlord!” taking things to such a ridiculous extreme that no one can actually have a real conversation about the topic.

      The scary part to me is that as long as there isn’t any plan for boys to follow, I don’t see any reason why there won’t be more of these attacks. Like some other kid who feels like this killer did and relates to his frustration and now he’s seeing how many girls want to fuck the kid now that he’s dark triad infamous etc.? Why WOULDN’T some other frustrated kid be like “hey, that’s not a bad plan, if I just don’t off myself at the end I’ll get pussy for life when I get out of prison”? No one is giving these boys any other solutions or sympathy for their frustration.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 3:31 pm
      Original Link

      @Shane
      “As handsome as he was, and as much money as he had [to include driving a Beemer around town] and with his access to the set and the cast party and the world premiere of The Hunger Games, he could have fucked 75% of the chicks in Santa Barbara.

      Easily.”

      This is EXACTLY the attitude that creates this kid. Because he’s made to feel like some fucked up loser with something wrong with him just because he can’t get pussy. Let’s all make fun of him, a real man would get 75% of the chicks in Santa Barbara if they had the advantages he had, what a freak.

      When’s the last time you picked up a girl, bun-in-the-oven Shane? Your keyboard jockey bullshit about how easy it is for a guy who has some money and access is the nonsense that makes a kid like this feel inadequate as a man and even more frustrated that guys without that shit are having better success than him.

      This is why I mention repeatedly that I was a virgin till my early-20s, because I want guys reading my shit to know that it’s not that big a deal. Ya it sucks and other people had an easier trip thru life, but it’s something you can fix, there’s nothing wrong with you if you haven’t been laid even if you’re surrounded by a bunch of chicks at a movie premiere…you just haven’t been taught how to socialize and interact with them in an attractive way, so they aren’t jumping your bones, but you can LEARN that skill if you decide to make an effort and put in the work to learn it, and you can change things around even if you DID spend your 20s at some party college and movie premiers without getting laid.

      So ya, the kid is pretty fucked in general, but this kind of attitude, which is super prevalent in society (“what, you’re tall and good looking and rich and can’t get laid? you fucking pussy, you’re a loser lololz I could get laid if I had that shit”) just contributes to guys like him feeling inadequate and frustrated that they have all the right tools but don’t know how to use them to build something…so eventually they decide it’s easier to destroy something instead.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 3:42 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      “But the fraternity of masculinity which some seek out and find in the world of PUA-istry is precisely the nurturing which should have been forthcoming from the PATERNAL side of his family.”

      Agreed. But we’re in a society now that discourages men from providing that nuturing, which is my point. MRA forums are full of guys who are blowing tens of thousands of dollars that they don’t have, fighting family courts just for a CHANCE to provide that paternal nurturing.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 9:17 am
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      “With his background – handsome, wealthy, sports car, access to the most exclusive parties in Hollywood or Malibu – if he had had even a NORMAL [middle of the bell curve] personality, then he could have snapped his fingers and banged 75% of the chicks in Santa Barbara.”

      There are a SHITLOAD of rich good-looking dudes with nice cars minor celeb status etc and access to cool parties who don’t get laid. That’s why they end up on pickup bootcamps and standing at the bar with a drink at their chest scared or going on sexless dates.

      If you actually went out to parties and shit, you’d see and meet these guys and realize the “if he was just normal he’d fuck 75% of the girls with a snap of his finger” stuff is bullshit and that attitude is why those guys are so frustrated and depressed and angry. It’s like Scray said he’s still having a hard time wrapping his head around it, but when you go out you see it alllllll the time.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 1:43 pm
      Original Link

      @Cquilty
      “Any advice for getting over limiting beliefs re: 8s or even 9s and 10s?”

      Talk to them. It’ll get less scary. There’s no other route. There’s nothing you can read that will give your brain the reference experiences of “talking to a 10 is the same as talking to a 4 except the scenery is better” lol Just gotta’ do it. It can be fun, I promise. :)


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 10:00 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      “YR, I’m just going to have to take your word for it, because you are describing things which are completely foreign to my experience.”

      It’s just a matter of experience is all. If you haven’t been out in high-value environments regularly, meeting and befriending a lot of high-value guys, and attempting to hit on women with them, you don’t have the experience to understand what I’m talking about and have to rely on the socially conditioned narrative that “if you have looks and money just automatically get a bunch of hot blonde 10s sucking your dick” which isn’t how the world actually works except in Blue Pill media.

      I don’t have a financial example handy because I don’t hang out on financial forums, but for a good example of good-looking guys who can’t get laid to save their lives check out the Forever Alone’ers on the Misc bodybuilding forum. They’re a shit-load of dudes who are better looking than I’ll ever be, who openly talk about how they have no idea what to do around girls or how to socialize and make friends and all their socially awkward experiences.

      But anyone who saw them would think “that guy must get laid, he’s got 8% body fat and he’s jacked so only a retarded couldn’t get laid with that advantage!!” when in reality it all comes down to confidence/charisma and understanding basic game. So these guys stand around awkwardly at parties and stumble through social interactions and then run off to the gym to try to shave that 8% body-fat down to 7% because maybe if they get just a bit more ripped girls will finally like them.



Goodbye America In A Photo

Original Link

via Heartiste

Gouverneur Morris
on May 24, 2014 at 1:02 pm
Original Link
  • The Dissident
    on May 24, 2014 at 1:34 pm
    Original Link
    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 11:31 am
      Original Link

      “With game he could have easily leveraged his money to get 10′s.”

      At the end of the day, that girl still has to decide “I would like this P in my V”. He could get ACCESS to 10s, he could be AROUND them, but that’s as close as he’ll get except for golddiggers, and a golddigger will just be into him for his money. He clearly wanted a girl to legitimately like him and want to hold hands with him on the beach and shit, or he could’ve just gone out and bought hookers.

      Money gives you easier access to hot girls, but if you’re being taught that “your money can get 10’s man”, you’re in for frustrating disappointment. He may even be able to get a chick to fuck him, but she’s not going to stick around, which is what he was looking for.

      “One problem is that the PUA community does everything it can to badmouth the very idea.”

      No, we agree that it’s good to have that stuff, but 1) it’s not good to rely on it because girls will figure out your internals are fucked as you spend time with them and you’ll lose them or you’ll get stuck with golddiggers who use you 2) it won’t make the girl wet or they’d all soak their pants when they walked into a bank vault, it’ll just give you an easier opportunity to talk to a hot girl which doesn’t mean you’re getting laid, and 3) not having that stuff yet isn’t an excuse to not start approaching and learning to talk to girls.

      To paraphrase the video below: “They need for people to see they have a big yatch in order to feel comfortable with themselves. When their yatch isn’t around they feel naked. It’s like when you have your favorite shirt and when you’re not wearing it you don’t feel good. As you get more and more money you buy your favorite yatch, but you don’t feel comfortable when you don’t have your favorite yatch around. (…) If you compare yourself to other people you won’t win, there will always be someone better than you.”

      He could absolutely flash his money around and get sex, he could have just gone to an escort service. But the kid wanted a chick to love him for “him” and do all that romantic relationship stuff. No amount of money is keeping a 10 around if your internals are fucked, unless she’s cheating on you on the side and just using you for the free financial ride and that’s not going to end any better than this did.


  • YaReally
    on May 24, 2014 at 2:25 pm
    Original Link

    Tragic shit. His video about his plan is like every cartoony stereotype about beta male frustration rolled into one, to the point where I would just think it was a parody/joke…except that he actually went out on a killing spree.

    The saddest part is that this kid is decent looking, clearly well off financially, like, there’s no reason for this to have happened if he had simply gotten some help and started taking action. I probably could’ve gotten this kid laid by some cute blondes in under a year easy. I read that he was subscribed to some pickup channels (including RSD lol) which means that he was AWARE of game concepts and such…but I would guess that he didn’t actually go out and APPLY them and try them out and actually get long-term coaching/mentorship and help (which he could definitely afford if just posting Field Reports for free advice wasn’t enough for him).

    The MSM will tool pickup and paint it as this horrible evil thing and then call this kid some loser who feels entitled to hot blonde pussy and drop the usual feminist snark about “like kissing a girl is going to help this psycho” and it’s like you know what? It actually MIGHT.

    Hugh Hefner isn’t about to go on a killing spree. I’ve watched a bunch of guys mellow out after they started getting some success with women, even minor success.

    Like Tyler says in one of his videos “it’s funny how many mental problems and depression and anger issues suddenly “go away” once a guy starts getting laid. WEIRD.” lol

    I always find it fascinating that society will be completely against this kid going to find help to learn how to talk to girls and be fun and cool and social and charismatic, but they’d be cool with him going to a personal trainer to get in shape, or to Toastmasters to learn to speak in front of audiences confidently, or to vocal coaches to learn to speak well, or to improv class to learn to be witty…but if you combine all those things together and add in “plus we’re going to focus this all toward getting laid” suddenly everybody loses their mind.

    Like what do they expect this kid to do? 22yo, virgin, money to burn, but fuck him getting any help. Let’s shame him. What he SHOULD do is just live out the next 60 years of his life as a frustrated incel and accept that he’s a loser on the bottom run of society. Let’s all just ignore him and turn our backs and laugh and expect him to stay where he is and be happy being nothing and being invisible and frustrated and shame him if he tries to get any help to improve his position in life. Men are disposable, the only men that exist to feminists are the rich CEOs…the frustrated incel kid who’s contemplating a future of sexual frustration and depression is as invisible to them as the guy working in a coal mine or as a sewage worker just barely paying his rent, alimony and child support. Those guys just don’t “exist” to women.

    And then they’re surprised when those guys crack and lash out. Who could see THAT coming? Anyone who was paying attention, really.

    Anyway, this is a tragic example of what happens when frustration with the Blue Pill builds up and a guy doesn’t take action. That’s why I have mad respect for the guys who are out there sarging and actually experiencing that getting shot down isn’t the end of the world and slowly learning to be more charismatic and attractive and getting bits of success here and there. Like, good on you…’cause just having access to the information isn’t enough. You have to actually take action and live it for it to help you. Even last night I saw some lame guys that I can tell are “pickup newbies” who were out hoping to try to talk to some girls and like, ya they weren’t cool guys and I’m probably not going to become their BFF or anything, but like, good on them for at least getting out there and trying. And if I saw one of them checking out some specific girl he was into but was clearly too nervous to talk to I’d probably introduce her to him and run away and help him out just ’cause hey, he showered up and came out to try so I can respect that.

    In my own case, I don’t think I would’ve ended up like this kid (and I was a kissless dateless virgin longer than him lol). I’ve met guys who I DO worry that “wow this guy is going to snap and shoot up his office one day if he doesn’t get laid soon”, but for myself I was like how the guy in 40 Year Old Virgin describes it where there comes a point where you just accept it and it doesn’t frustrate you anymore because that’s just how life is. I didn’t have enough confidence or any of society’s list of external attributes that are attractive to expect success with girls. So I just accepted my place in life and that girls just weren’t interested in me, some guys have it and some don’t, and that I was a guy who just didn’t have it. So I wasn’t full of pent up anger and frustration because I didn’t feel like I actually deserved anything. But I was definitely in danger of going down the 40 Year Old Virgin road where I would’ve basically become that character lol

    This whole situ is part of why I spend as much time writing about this shit as I do. ’cause I know this stuff helps, and has probably helped a few lurkers that I’ll never even know existed, get their shit together and get off a negative spiral and start on a journey toward a better life. It’s also why I’m happy when other people get laid at the bar and I’ll introduce random beta/AFC looking guys to random girls, because I know that even that one 2 minute interaction with the girl that doesn’t even go anywhere is probably the highlight of that dude’s year and who knows what that’s going to start in his mind when he realizes “hey, you know what, maybe I CAN talk to girls when I’m out…”


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 11:53 am
      Original Link

      @Nicole
      “Depression,anxiety,anger and suicidal ideation often have their roots in social ostracism and loneliness”

      Agreed. The sad part to me is that men are shit on if they feel any of that. A woman is sad and everyone rushes to help her and cheer her up. Some lonely boy is sad and everyone says “man up you fuckin’ pussy. wtf you couldn’t get laid? You must be impotent, you’re a piece of shit, gettin’ laid is easy bro. You’re rich, you could easily get hot 10/10 bitches with your money, you must be inadequate as a man if you can’t. What? You want help? Support? A community of men who feel the same way and can maybe help you out? Fuckin fuzzy hat wearing loser trying to manipulate women into bed with your patriarchal entitlement issues! Fuck you for not just knowing what to do or how to be a man from the start even though you were raised by a single mom in our “eat pray love divorce-cash-in culture” and all female teachers in school because of our “every man is a pedophile” culture and didn’t have any male influence in your adolescence to help you figure shit out…also keep down in class and don’t express yourself or we’ll put you on Ritalin.”

      Like is it really any wonder that shit like this happens when there are probably thousands of ticking time bombs like this kid out there that nobody gives a shit about?

      I’m not saying the kid wasn’t a sociopath or anything, but if you have a kid who’s got too much energy and you don’t give him a productive plan or activity to pour that energy into productively, he still needs to express that energy and it’s going to come out as vented frustration…and when society shits on him for that venting, it’s just a recipe for a disaster.

      Part of why pickup can help is that it’s giving an action plan for guys who have no direction and no idea what to do. Results may vary but at least we’re saying “look, if you try to develop a positive attitude and let go of your negative shit and go out and make friends and talk to girls, and here are the steps to do exactly that, we’ll even tell you the exact words to try saying until you have enough practice at it that you can improvise and learn to become a normal human being, you can improve this part of your life”. Instead of society’s solution which is “ugh what a creep, you’re a creepy weirdo, you think women owe you sex, you probably want to rape women you misogynistic asshole, snark snark snark” and hoping he just “goes away” and vanishes under the carpet to never be seen or heard from again.

      But that’s still a human being, that person is still out there working at your Starbucks and driving on the same road you are and watching Game of Thrones and shit, and he’s got 60+ years of time to either get worse or get better…sweeping him under the rug isn’t going to help him get better. I think as a society we need to understand this better, but we have such a default view of men being disposable and faceless that at this point in time no one really gives enough of a shit to help take care of men’s mental health.

      “What interests me that a lot men don’t really WANT to become players, they are interested in finding one women to love and return that love even in today’s world.”

      Agreed, that’s why I got into game actually. At the time I just wanted a girlfriend to hold and cuddle and watch TV with lol A lot of guys just want to get enough game to get a handle on their confidence and have a little more opportunity than they have now.

      The problem is our Disney culture conditioned these men to believe in True Love and the flawless significant other who’s perfect and completes them and will never do wrong by them, women are perfect flowers who can’t do any wrong, and that one person is going to be the solution for all of your needs from comfort to sex to support to entertainment, etc. instead of teaching them that sometimes you click with some people more than others and it’s pretty awesome to spend time with those people you click with and you should be grateful for that, especially if it lasts a long time, but that other person is a normal flawed human being just like you are and sometimes they might do shitty or uncool things and you guys have to work through that or find better people for yourselves and that’s okay because there are a lot of people out there that you’ll have a good connection with and probably none of them will be completely perfect but that’s an unfair expectation to put on another person to begin with.

      “Men seem to be much more romantic and sentimental than the women I see.”

      http://therationalmale.com/2012/09/10/men-in-love/

      I would say that men tend to be much more susceptible to the brainwashing of our socially conditioned narrative that teaches them that women are perfect princesses that can do no wrong and that finding “the one” will make their lives complete etc. and end up crashing a lot harder when they realize that women aren’t perfect, the same way they aren’t perfect, and they aren’t given tools to deal with that in a healthy productive positive way when it happens.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 12:07 pm
      Original Link

      “Introducing AFC’s to girls–nice motives, but does it actually help them if they have anti-game?”

      This question assumes that “helping them” means “sticking their P in their V”. These guys are so AFC that they don’t view that as success. They don’t even comprehend that they COULD do that. To them even getting a coffee date or a 20 minute conversation is a fucking miracle success worth jumping across rooftops shouting “I’m king of the worrrrrld!!!”

      So ya, it helps them. It doesn’t get their dick wet, and guys like you and I would probably lol at “it’s just a conversation dude, and she wasn’t even really that into me”, but for that guy it’s like “holy shit I actually talked to a girl tonight!!!”

      If they want to take it from there, cool, there are resources to help with that. If not, that’s alright too, at least they had a break from the depressing monotony of going out and NOT interacting with the girls around them lol

      “Do they ever look at your archive? It’s gold, but do they ever read it?”

      You can lead a horse to water and all that. That’s why I encourage guys to go out and just do simple shit like make eye-contact or ask where the bathroom is etc…because those are things where the guy is probably not going to fuck it up and he can start seeing “hmm you know, maybe I can get better at this…” and maybe drink the water. But ultimately it’s up to him how much action he decides to take.

      “I aim for a win/win outcome–some AFC gives me a few bucks and he gets a practical plan that will help him improve himself and approach girls.”

      I just enjoy teaching and helping guys solve their shit, because other guys helped me for free and I know how much of a difference it made in my life. Pay it forward type attitude. And I actually do “win” in the outcome, in that 1) I help solidify my own thoughts/mindsets when I write them out and break down my own behaviors to further develop my self-awareness which has all sorts of benefits in general, 2) I get psyched when I see a guy making progress (like reco’s adventures the past couple weeks and Scray, Hunter, etc. as they learn) because I’m happy for them and I remember how that felt when I did it, and 3) if I’m in-field and I’m introducing random girls to random guys I get a state boost out of it because it’s fun to me and puts me in a good mood myself which translates to my vibe being awesome which translates to me having more fun in-field. So to me it’s win/win, even though it doesn’t pay my rent lol

      “it takes social intelligence to be able to figure out that a follower wants you to push her boundaries”

      I don’t dance, but everything you described about dancing there is how I view sex. Leading, calibrating, and pushing her boundaries. :)

      Also on the dancing note, I think it’s important to have some kind of gameplan with it (like guys like you who do dancefloor game write about) ’cause I’ve known guys who are amazing dancers but who don’t know how to take it from “this is fun, dancing with eachother is a fun time” to “I’m into you, let’s go fuck” lol It’s incredibly frustrating to watch as a guy who doesn’t dance because it’s like “omg dude, she’s RIGHT THERE, she loves you, just make a move!!!” lol So good on you for helping those guys out.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 3:24 pm
      Original Link

      “I made the same point about socially ostracized males being susceptible to acts of senseless violence at a dinner party the other night. I was met with disgust and incredulous looks, as if I myself was a sociopath for even suggesting such a thing”

      ya this is the reaction I’m talking about. Like, the notion that boys/men could be suffering is laughed and snarked at because men are supposed to be tough and women are generally too solipsistic to view men as having problems (and they don’t WANT men to have problems because that’s not attractive lol). And even if they acknowledge there’s a problem, they don’t have any kind of action plan to help those boys…they just kind of hope they’ll slink down into the shadows and disappear. Like some videogame where if the character isn’t on-screen, he doesn’t exist anymore.

      But those men exist and they’re communicating with eachother over the net and sharing experiences and it’s the blind leading the blind because they don’t know how to help themselves and no one outside of them will help them because the rest of the “normal” world is under the Blue Pill conditioning where they say “it’s not that hard to get laid dude jeeze” and “just get lots of money and you’ll get 10s” and “sex isn’t that big a deal (coming from a girl who can put on a push-up bra and get macked on whenever she wants, to an incel who can’t get a girl to talk to him let alone want to spend any kind of time with him let ALONE fuck him…brb rich person telling a poor person that money isn’t everything when the poor person can’t pay their rent this month lol)”

      Men need a plan to follow. And we had that before. It was go to school, get a good job, you’ll get a good wife, and you guys will get a house and a white pickett fence and 2.5 kids and maybe under the surface it won’t all be perfect but you’ll stick it out together and try to make it work.

      But then the Internet let men share what was really happening and how many incel marriages were out there and women started their eat pray love adventures in their prime and family/divorce courts reward them for hitching a guy and ditching him on a whim while everyone supports her and says he must have fucked up because society believes women are flawless and never sometimes just shitty people like everyone else can be…so men following that old plan ended up getting shafted because they held up their end of the deal and then got rocked and ended up in the Manosphere/MRA/PUA communities.

      Now we have the next generation coming in…no male role models in their life because the men have been divorced and kicked to the curb on an “I’m not haaaaaapy today” whim, pedophile paranoia means that as a man you can’t even take your own kids to the playground without people calling the cops on you, men are scared to interact with kids because of false accusations or misinterpretations of how it would look, school has been feminized and boys are put on drugs to get them to fall in line…

      And no one really has a PLAN for these boys. Because there’s no mentors or role models to give them one. Women don’t have a plan because they can’t teach a man how to be a man and they’re busy with their own shit. All they can do is give the boy a woman’s plan which creates a nice little white knight soldier who gives women what they want but never actually gets what he needs because that stuff is inherently unattractive to women as the Red Pill has figured out.

      Like I’m not a military guy at all, but at least the military gives aimless boys a structure and goals and discipline and puts them on some kind of path. That’s what boys need, some kind of direction. As a PUA I’d like to help put them on a path that leads to healthy social lives and fun win/win relationships, but our advice is lol’ed at and rejected by the MSM and anti-gamers and white knights so boys brought up in that environment reject it as bad manipulative evil shit before really looking into it.

      But those people scoffing at the plan we provide aren’t actually providing a plan themselves. They’re just saying “don’t do that”, not “don’t do that, do this instead”…if they DO say “do this instead”, the thing they recommend doing is the thing that actively doesn’t work and gets the opposite result of what they promised so the boy ends up frustrated because he thought he was following a plan that would lead somewhere and it turned out to lead to a dead end.

      It’s really a sad state of affairs because everyone will just write this shooter off as a psycho anomaly and no one will really look at “you know, there are like, a SHITLOAD of guys who feel the same frustrations this kid did…maybe we should look at where that’s coming from and maybe look at providing some kind of productive positive action plan for boys that doesn’t just serve women’s goals (which is what most advice is based on) but also achieves their own goals because men’s needs/wants are important too.”

      But if you dare say that, you get the horrified stares across the dinner table and the Jezzie snarkers saying “oh so you think a woman owes you sex because you’re a Nice Guy, I guess women aren’t real human beings in charge of their own bodies, check your privilege you entitled shitlord!” taking things to such a ridiculous extreme that no one can actually have a real conversation about the topic.

      The scary part to me is that as long as there isn’t any plan for boys to follow, I don’t see any reason why there won’t be more of these attacks. Like some other kid who feels like this killer did and relates to his frustration and now he’s seeing how many girls want to fuck the kid now that he’s dark triad infamous etc.? Why WOULDN’T some other frustrated kid be like “hey, that’s not a bad plan, if I just don’t off myself at the end I’ll get pussy for life when I get out of prison”? No one is giving these boys any other solutions or sympathy for their frustration.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 3:31 pm
      Original Link

      @Shane
      “As handsome as he was, and as much money as he had [to include driving a Beemer around town] and with his access to the set and the cast party and the world premiere of The Hunger Games, he could have fucked 75% of the chicks in Santa Barbara.

      Easily.”

      This is EXACTLY the attitude that creates this kid. Because he’s made to feel like some fucked up loser with something wrong with him just because he can’t get pussy. Let’s all make fun of him, a real man would get 75% of the chicks in Santa Barbara if they had the advantages he had, what a freak.

      When’s the last time you picked up a girl, bun-in-the-oven Shane? Your keyboard jockey bullshit about how easy it is for a guy who has some money and access is the nonsense that makes a kid like this feel inadequate as a man and even more frustrated that guys without that shit are having better success than him.

      This is why I mention repeatedly that I was a virgin till my early-20s, because I want guys reading my shit to know that it’s not that big a deal. Ya it sucks and other people had an easier trip thru life, but it’s something you can fix, there’s nothing wrong with you if you haven’t been laid even if you’re surrounded by a bunch of chicks at a movie premiere…you just haven’t been taught how to socialize and interact with them in an attractive way, so they aren’t jumping your bones, but you can LEARN that skill if you decide to make an effort and put in the work to learn it, and you can change things around even if you DID spend your 20s at some party college and movie premiers without getting laid.

      So ya, the kid is pretty fucked in general, but this kind of attitude, which is super prevalent in society (“what, you’re tall and good looking and rich and can’t get laid? you fucking pussy, you’re a loser lololz I could get laid if I had that shit”) just contributes to guys like him feeling inadequate and frustrated that they have all the right tools but don’t know how to use them to build something…so eventually they decide it’s easier to destroy something instead.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2014 at 3:42 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      “But the fraternity of masculinity which some seek out and find in the world of PUA-istry is precisely the nurturing which should have been forthcoming from the PATERNAL side of his family.”

      Agreed. But we’re in a society now that discourages men from providing that nuturing, which is my point. MRA forums are full of guys who are blowing tens of thousands of dollars that they don’t have, fighting family courts just for a CHANCE to provide that paternal nurturing.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 9:17 am
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      “With his background – handsome, wealthy, sports car, access to the most exclusive parties in Hollywood or Malibu – if he had had even a NORMAL [middle of the bell curve] personality, then he could have snapped his fingers and banged 75% of the chicks in Santa Barbara.”

      There are a SHITLOAD of rich good-looking dudes with nice cars minor celeb status etc and access to cool parties who don’t get laid. That’s why they end up on pickup bootcamps and standing at the bar with a drink at their chest scared or going on sexless dates.

      If you actually went out to parties and shit, you’d see and meet these guys and realize the “if he was just normal he’d fuck 75% of the girls with a snap of his finger” stuff is bullshit and that attitude is why those guys are so frustrated and depressed and angry. It’s like Scray said he’s still having a hard time wrapping his head around it, but when you go out you see it alllllll the time.


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 1:43 pm
      Original Link

      @Cquilty
      “Any advice for getting over limiting beliefs re: 8s or even 9s and 10s?”

      Talk to them. It’ll get less scary. There’s no other route. There’s nothing you can read that will give your brain the reference experiences of “talking to a 10 is the same as talking to a 4 except the scenery is better” lol Just gotta’ do it. It can be fun, I promise. :)


    • YaReally
      on May 26, 2014 at 10:00 pm
      Original Link

      @Zombie
      “YR, I’m just going to have to take your word for it, because you are describing things which are completely foreign to my experience.”

      It’s just a matter of experience is all. If you haven’t been out in high-value environments regularly, meeting and befriending a lot of high-value guys, and attempting to hit on women with them, you don’t have the experience to understand what I’m talking about and have to rely on the socially conditioned narrative that “if you have looks and money just automatically get a bunch of hot blonde 10s sucking your dick” which isn’t how the world actually works except in Blue Pill media.

      I don’t have a financial example handy because I don’t hang out on financial forums, but for a good example of good-looking guys who can’t get laid to save their lives check out the Forever Alone’ers on the Misc bodybuilding forum. They’re a shit-load of dudes who are better looking than I’ll ever be, who openly talk about how they have no idea what to do around girls or how to socialize and make friends and all their socially awkward experiences.

      But anyone who saw them would think “that guy must get laid, he’s got 8% body fat and he’s jacked so only a retarded couldn’t get laid with that advantage!!” when in reality it all comes down to confidence/charisma and understanding basic game. So these guys stand around awkwardly at parties and stumble through social interactions and then run off to the gym to try to shave that 8% body-fat down to 7% because maybe if they get just a bit more ripped girls will finally like them.



Why Do Women Flirt More When They’re With Someone?

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 24, 2014 at 11:45 am
Original Link

“This is true. The most obvious flirtations are often from women who are taken, and sometimes with their man present and accounted for! It’s less common to get aggressive flirts from single women.”

Flirting for a lot of woman is a relief. A really feminine girl’s default state is to be sexual and flirty. But there are repercussions for that…slut-shaming, madonna/whore complex judgement, leading guys on and not being able to get rid of orbiter chodes, being raped, other girls getting catty/jealous and starting drama, boys getting into fights (and not the good kind that turn her on), having to reject guys because she flirted but didn’t want to fuck them and they get mad and call her names, etc. etc.

So a lot of times a girl has to “hold back” on being flirty and sending iois and shit, because it has consequences.

A single girl has to hold back. A smokin hot 9 who gets on a public bus will NOT make eye-contact with anyone. She looks straight down at the ground and at her seat and then looks at her phone the whole time. She’s doing this because she knows if she accidentally looks at anyone, she’ll be stuck dealing with a “situation” for her entire bus ride. So it’s easier for her to just look down at the ground and hold back. This is an unnatural state for her, this isn’t her default, she’s holding back here.

That same girl will go out with her social circle and be introduced to a cute guy in that social circle and flirt with him, not holding back, because now it’s “safe” for her to be herself. This is her default state, the flirty one.

A girl on her boyfriend’s arm feels safe to flirt it up because she has a safety line to pull back if any negative consequences happen. It’s kind of like a little weasel guy shouting insults while hiding behind a big tough buddy’s back, he can always duck behind the tough guy if shit hits the fan.

But in that moment, that little weasel guy is fully letting loose because he feels safe from the consequences. Whereas if his tough buddy wasn’t there he would probably hold back more.

So in a way, “taken” girls flirt more because they feel like there’s less consequences for them. A single girl walks past you and makes eye contact and maybe you turn out to be a loser creeper who stalks her for months. A taken girl walks past you on her BFs arm and makes eye contact and you keep walking, so she got her fix of flexing her flirt-muscles (being in her natural state and following her natural feminine instincts to shoot iois out) without any consequences.

My buddy pointed out to me that he’s noticed when I’m talking to girls about sex, they open up incredibly fast and almost seem RELIEVED to be talking about it with me. It’s weird to him (I’m teaching him how to do the sexual rapport shit) but it follows this concept: I create a non-judgemental environment for the girls where they know I won’t slut-shame them or anything for liking and talking about sex, so they spill it all wide open because they’re like “FINALLY I can be myself and talk about sex and how much I love it and the kinky shit I love omg I get to finally be myself!!”

And they’re extra relieved because I’m a GUY they can open up about sex to. They already open up to their girlfriends (chick locker-room talk is probably worse than guys’ locker-room talk lol), but they’re used to having to hold back and be restrained around guys ’cause 99% of guys will judge them harsh for it. So they meet me and they’re like “wow I can talk about sex openly and it’s with a GUY so I can get male perspective and actually all this sex talk is kind of turning me on and this guy is pretty cute and fun and charismatic and I know he won’t judge me ’cause we’re talking about sex and oh now he’s isolated me from everyone so I guess there aren’t any consequences and he’s pinning me against the wall nibbling on my neck and–ya, we need to fuck asap” lol

This is my take on it, at least.



Why Do Women Flirt More When They’re With Someone?

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 24, 2014 at 11:45 am
Original Link

“This is true. The most obvious flirtations are often from women who are taken, and sometimes with their man present and accounted for! It’s less common to get aggressive flirts from single women.”

Flirting for a lot of woman is a relief. A really feminine girl’s default state is to be sexual and flirty. But there are repercussions for that…slut-shaming, madonna/whore complex judgement, leading guys on and not being able to get rid of orbiter chodes, being raped, other girls getting catty/jealous and starting drama, boys getting into fights (and not the good kind that turn her on), having to reject guys because she flirted but didn’t want to fuck them and they get mad and call her names, etc. etc.

So a lot of times a girl has to “hold back” on being flirty and sending iois and shit, because it has consequences.

A single girl has to hold back. A smokin hot 9 who gets on a public bus will NOT make eye-contact with anyone. She looks straight down at the ground and at her seat and then looks at her phone the whole time. She’s doing this because she knows if she accidentally looks at anyone, she’ll be stuck dealing with a “situation” for her entire bus ride. So it’s easier for her to just look down at the ground and hold back. This is an unnatural state for her, this isn’t her default, she’s holding back here.

That same girl will go out with her social circle and be introduced to a cute guy in that social circle and flirt with him, not holding back, because now it’s “safe” for her to be herself. This is her default state, the flirty one.

A girl on her boyfriend’s arm feels safe to flirt it up because she has a safety line to pull back if any negative consequences happen. It’s kind of like a little weasel guy shouting insults while hiding behind a big tough buddy’s back, he can always duck behind the tough guy if shit hits the fan.

But in that moment, that little weasel guy is fully letting loose because he feels safe from the consequences. Whereas if his tough buddy wasn’t there he would probably hold back more.

So in a way, “taken” girls flirt more because they feel like there’s less consequences for them. A single girl walks past you and makes eye contact and maybe you turn out to be a loser creeper who stalks her for months. A taken girl walks past you on her BFs arm and makes eye contact and you keep walking, so she got her fix of flexing her flirt-muscles (being in her natural state and following her natural feminine instincts to shoot iois out) without any consequences.

My buddy pointed out to me that he’s noticed when I’m talking to girls about sex, they open up incredibly fast and almost seem RELIEVED to be talking about it with me. It’s weird to him (I’m teaching him how to do the sexual rapport shit) but it follows this concept: I create a non-judgemental environment for the girls where they know I won’t slut-shame them or anything for liking and talking about sex, so they spill it all wide open because they’re like “FINALLY I can be myself and talk about sex and how much I love it and the kinky shit I love omg I get to finally be myself!!”

And they’re extra relieved because I’m a GUY they can open up about sex to. They already open up to their girlfriends (chick locker-room talk is probably worse than guys’ locker-room talk lol), but they’re used to having to hold back and be restrained around guys ’cause 99% of guys will judge them harsh for it. So they meet me and they’re like “wow I can talk about sex openly and it’s with a GUY so I can get male perspective and actually all this sex talk is kind of turning me on and this guy is pretty cute and fun and charismatic and I know he won’t judge me ’cause we’re talking about sex and oh now he’s isolated me from everyone so I guess there aren’t any consequences and he’s pinning me against the wall nibbling on my neck and–ya, we need to fuck asap” lol

This is my take on it, at least.



The Transmissibility Of Confidence

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 23, 2014 at 1:04 pm
Original Link

I’ve written about this a couple of times I think. lol. Here’s a bunch more on the topic for guys who want more convincing:

http://yareallyarchive.com/2012/1/#comment-heartiste-305240
http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/7/#comment-heartiste-455301
http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/1/#comment-heartiste-516661
http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/2/#comment-heartiste-526331
http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/5/#comment-heartiste-437835

Every new guy will base his confidence on external validation. Even a lot of advanced long-term guys will. Naturals ESPECIALLY will. Nothing is more depressing/annoying than a Natural who hasn’t gotten laid in a few weeks lol

And that’s good, that gives you the motivation to go out and face the odds and approach cute girls in a bar out by yourself and start learning the ropes.

But it’s important that down the road you start shifting internally and realize that your worth comes from inside and that it can’t be taken and that it’s literally just a mental shift and unlocking the shit that society has mentally conditioned you to lock up and doubt.

You can’t control the outcome. You can’t say “every girl I talk to is going to suck my dick” and base your worth on that. But you CAN control your actions. You can control whether you approach her or not. And you can base your worth on whether you take right action.

You can’t make your identity “I’m a guy who gets laid by every girl he talks to”, but you can make your identity “I’m a guy who goes for what he wants and takes right action in life”.

(to really internalize it tho, I’ve found that destroying limiting beliefs helps…like do the opposite of what you think works, until you learn to make it work. So if you always wear a suit out, try going out for a few months in a t-shirt and jeans. If you always go direct, try going indirect. If you always buy drinks, try not buying drinks. If you always mention your fancy job, try telling girls you work at McDonald’s. Try approaching girls in mixed sets with better looking dudes than you. etc. etc. You need to give your brain valid 1st-hand reference experiences of being able to shit on your beliefs. It can take a few weeks or months just to shake off the dependency on whatever it was and even START seeing success, but once you get it a few times your brain is like “well shit, I guess it’s not the suit that’s attractive, it’s me”)


  • having a bad day
    on May 23, 2014 at 2:03 pm
    Original Link

    @YaReally

    “I’ve found that destroying limiting beliefs helps…like do the opposite of what you think works, until you learn to make it work.”

    the first time i tried this was when i was getting over being ‘nice’…lol…i had read about ‘asshole’ game on here and decided to try it, since it was opposite of ‘me’. so, i was at a big box store getting some help with a return and the cute clerk (hb7, thin, 19/20, brunette) made a self-depreciating comment when she made a mistake ‘well, that was stupid…’

    now, my blue pill/nice guy kicked in and i was going to say ‘oh, that’s ok, you’re not stupid…” but i caught myself and did the opposite…i said ‘yes. that WAS incredibly stupid.’ …lol…and just let it hang out there and held my frame (eye contact with a smirk)…(i.e. i didn’t follow up with a ‘just kidding’…)

    and i observed my internal reaction to that…it was tough to pull off…that smirk was forced for sure…lol…i felt like somebody was going to hit me…and i was shocked that the world didn’t stop and she didn’t call the manager and have me arrested…lol…

    but i also continued to observe everything…her reaction, my reaction, the reaction of other people nearby, etc.(mostly that i didn’t die…lol)…as i continued to observe the interaction, i noticed her become more deferent and she got that shiny-eyed lusty look that i’d rarely seen before, but had been describe on here…she also had a sort of ‘reappraisal’ as she continued to help me with my order. by the time she was done (about 3 minutes) i had the distinct impression that she was wanting me to ask her out…lol…

    so, this tech def works…and gets some good gains, too…


    • YaReally
      on May 24, 2014 at 12:31 pm
      Original Link

      “Apart from that it’s truly just forging ahead and riding those waves of uncertainty.”

      “I asked her to dance. She was so excited. “Where have you been?” she asked. Me: “Hiding from you…””

      Solid response. Good stuff. A lot of guys would get caught trying to logically answer that question, but you used it as a chance to spike her attraction. This is game. :)



The Transmissibility Of Confidence

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 23, 2014 at 1:04 pm
Original Link

I’ve written about this a couple of times I think. lol. Here’s a bunch more on the topic for guys who want more convincing:

http://yareallyarchive.com/2012/1/#comment-heartiste-305240

http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/7/#comment-heartiste-455301

http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/1/#comment-heartiste-516661

http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/2/#comment-heartiste-526331

http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/5/#comment-heartiste-437835

Every new guy will base his confidence on external validation. Even a lot of advanced long-term guys will. Naturals ESPECIALLY will. Nothing is more depressing/annoying than a Natural who hasn’t gotten laid in a few weeks lol

And that’s good, that gives you the motivation to go out and face the odds and approach cute girls in a bar out by yourself and start learning the ropes.

But it’s important that down the road you start shifting internally and realize that your worth comes from inside and that it can’t be taken and that it’s literally just a mental shift and unlocking the shit that society has mentally conditioned you to lock up and doubt.

You can’t control the outcome. You can’t say “every girl I talk to is going to suck my dick” and base your worth on that. But you CAN control your actions. You can control whether you approach her or not. And you can base your worth on whether you take right action.

You can’t make your identity “I’m a guy who gets laid by every girl he talks to”, but you can make your identity “I’m a guy who goes for what he wants and takes right action in life”.

(to really internalize it tho, I’ve found that destroying limiting beliefs helps…like do the opposite of what you think works, until you learn to make it work. So if you always wear a suit out, try going out for a few months in a t-shirt and jeans. If you always go direct, try going indirect. If you always buy drinks, try not buying drinks. If you always mention your fancy job, try telling girls you work at McDonald’s. Try approaching girls in mixed sets with better looking dudes than you. etc. etc. You need to give your brain valid 1st-hand reference experiences of being able to shit on your beliefs. It can take a few weeks or months just to shake off the dependency on whatever it was and even START seeing success, but once you get it a few times your brain is like “well shit, I guess it’s not the suit that’s attractive, it’s me”)


  • having a bad day
    on May 23, 2014 at 2:03 pm
    Original Link

    @YaReally

    “I’ve found that destroying limiting beliefs helps…like do the opposite of what you think works, until you learn to make it work.”

    the first time i tried this was when i was getting over being ‘nice’…lol…i had read about ‘asshole’ game on here and decided to try it, since it was opposite of ‘me’. so, i was at a big box store getting some help with a return and the cute clerk (hb7, thin, 19/20, brunette) made a self-depreciating comment when she made a mistake ‘well, that was stupid…’

    now, my blue pill/nice guy kicked in and i was going to say ‘oh, that’s ok, you’re not stupid…” but i caught myself and did the opposite…i said ‘yes. that WAS incredibly stupid.’ …lol…and just let it hang out there and held my frame (eye contact with a smirk)…(i.e. i didn’t follow up with a ‘just kidding’…)

    and i observed my internal reaction to that…it was tough to pull off…that smirk was forced for sure…lol…i felt like somebody was going to hit me…and i was shocked that the world didn’t stop and she didn’t call the manager and have me arrested…lol…

    but i also continued to observe everything…her reaction, my reaction, the reaction of other people nearby, etc.(mostly that i didn’t die…lol)…as i continued to observe the interaction, i noticed her become more deferent and she got that shiny-eyed lusty look that i’d rarely seen before, but had been describe on here…she also had a sort of ‘reappraisal’ as she continued to help me with my order. by the time she was done (about 3 minutes) i had the distinct impression that she was wanting me to ask her out…lol…

    so, this tech def works…and gets some good gains, too…


    • YaReally
      on May 24, 2014 at 12:31 pm
      Original Link

      “Apart from that it’s truly just forging ahead and riding those waves of uncertainty.”

      “I asked her to dance. She was so excited. “Where have you been?” she asked. Me: “Hiding from you…””

      Solid response. Good stuff. A lot of guys would get caught trying to logically answer that question, but you used it as a chance to spike her attraction. This is game. :)



The Transmissibility Of Confidence

Original Link

via Heartiste

Will
on May 23, 2014 at 1:59 pm
Original Link

Ha Wowww I look like an idiot I posted my rant like 5 times on accident on the previous blog posting.

Yareally if/when you get a chance advice on this bitch would be appreciated



The Transmissibility Of Confidence

Original Link

via Heartiste

Will
on May 23, 2014 at 1:59 pm
Original Link

Ha Wowww I look like an idiot I posted my rant like 5 times on accident on the previous blog posting.

Yareally if/when you get a chance advice on this bitch would be appreciated



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 22, 2014 at 5:03 pm
Original Link

Latest Update
Not sure where to proceed with this. So last time I reported three days ago things did not go well with my 33YOPrude. She did not show. Evidently trying to manipulate me into being her provider which I am not going to do. So following the plan of the sages on her like yareally and HABD and walwala I was to hang tight and wait for her to come to me. She would text me and then when she did do a text about how she is having so many problems and we should wait to get together when she is gets squared away. Well she texted me twice. On Tuesday a smiley face and then a hope you are having a great day. I am assuming this was to lure me into a new conversation down the beta rathole of leading me to pick her up for a lame date. I did not bite. Stayed quiet and there has been no texts either way. I would have assumed that she would have texted me by now. She always has in the past. But it appears we are in a war of wills. So here I sit.

What would be the next step? Just wait for her to text? Open her again and try to reengage? I know it has only been a few days. Not sure what the protocol is here.

Also on the 40YONurse front. I think that either she is not into me anymore like she has met someone else or she is testing me also. This one has been much more simple from the start. She was much less of a game player than the 33YO. But I did meet her in my beta mode and changed to a more reformed beta/alpha midstream. So maybe that has her confused with pigeonholing me? I don’t know. We met two weeks ago for first time sex and it was awesome. Lots of banging lots of orgasms squirting and everything she was very emphatic about how much she liked it and wanted to meet soon. However the next week she had her kid get sick on the day of the meet and we had to cancel. She wanted to reschedule and make it up to me. We do not text a lot so I figured no big deal. However when we did text it starts out good and fizzled she just dropped the interaction. So I figured I am not going to chase I will just wait. 5 days go by and nothing. So I figured I would reengage today to set something up. Here is the text exchange:

Me: There is a dude in the airport down here in —-…keeps looking at me…I think he’s a spy 9:05 AM (credit walawala good opener)
Her: What did u do? R u a criminal 9:07 AM
Her: Turned traitor? Lol 9:08 AM
Me: Lol…you know I am dangerous 9:08 AM
Her: Yup that’s why he’s scoping you. He’s got a camera on you 9:09 AM
Me: I bet you sent him…checking me out 9:10 AM
Me: Gonna be back in —– friday evening…lets get together 9:13 AM
Her: Standby in docs office 9:14 AM (drops the conversation)

That was it. Nothing else. Did I do this right? Is there something else I should have done? I am not chasing. I am not being needy. She as a lot on her plate single mom with three kids. No husband or father. But just dropping text convos twice seems like a shit test to me. I know now that I should not have initiated this at work. Tactical error. Any other advice. Am I being too impatient and needy here?


  • YaReally
    on May 22, 2014 at 6:09 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    “Just wait for her to text?”

    Keep waiting. Think in weeks, not days. This is the hardest thing for guys to wrap their heads around. A girl can ignore you for a month and know you’ll still be there waiting for her when she decides to allow you her attention. A guy freaks out after a few days “OMG WHAT IF ITS OVER!!!!” lol Give it a week or two. She’s not going to go chase some other guy (except to make you jealous), you’re the highest-value guy around her.

    “However when we did text it starts out good and fizzled she just dropped the interaction.”

    Maybe she was cleaning up her kid’s puke or getting her vagina waxed, who knows lol She likes you, she wants to reschedule, you guys don’t normally txt much anyway. Trust your value.

    That’s really the key, you have to trust that you are high-value to these women. You have to really believe and accept it.

    “5 days go by and nothing.”

    Has 5 day of no txt from her gone by before? You said you don’t txt eachother much. If you’ve gone 4+ days without hearing from her before, quit worrying about it lol not every girl is gonna’ be banging on your door nightly after you bang her. She’s probably got a lot of shit going on is all…that’s probably why she doesn’t txt much in general, she doesn’t have time to maintain a relationship or shoot the shit over txts all night, she has *3 KIDS* one of them who’s sick enough that she’s in the doctor’s office during your last txt convo.

    She just wants to be able to, in a couple weeks, go “hey, my kid’s away at band camp this weekend, are you free?” and get laid lol View her as probably a 2x a month max lay, not a weekly or more lay.

    “But just dropping text convos twice seems like a shit test to me.”

    Nah, not everyone txts the same. I usually say “k gotta go do such and such now peace” and a girl actually txted me “I don’t do goodye txts” like, to let me know that she just drops txt conversations when she has shit to do (and picks them up whenever, if at all), like she isn’t going to coddle me and hug me goodbye and tell me where she’s off to and what she can’t continue the conversation.

    This girl doesn’t txt much to begin with so that fits her personality, to just abruptly end conversations to deal with her shit. She’s not a starry-eyed 19yo sitting in her bedroom txting boys and Facebooking all night lol

    “Am I being too impatient and needy here?”

    Ya, chill out lol. Trust your value. 33yo is just trying to get you into her frame but she’ll cave, it’ll just take a while because you helped build her princess frame up solid so now you have to undo that (VS never getting sucked into that frame to begin with). 40yo is just busy with 3 kids and work and doctor’s appointments and shit and isn’t a big txt’er to begin with.

    Radio silence for the 33yo till Monday minimum, even if she offers to hang out. She’s being punished right now and it’s bugging her, that’s why she’s sending feeler txts. She’ll go through her rolodex trying to get her attention, you can txt her next week sometime.

    No txting 40yo, she’ll txt you when she’s finally free, probably in a week or so.

    Congrats, you just eliminated the time sink of having to txt 2 girls, now you can use that time to accomplish life stuff or find more girls. :) It’s all win/win when you reframe it that way lol



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 22, 2014 at 5:03 pm
Original Link

Latest Update
Not sure where to proceed with this. So last time I reported three days ago things did not go well with my 33YOPrude. She did not show. Evidently trying to manipulate me into being her provider which I am not going to do. So following the plan of the sages on her like yareally and HABD and walwala I was to hang tight and wait for her to come to me. She would text me and then when she did do a text about how she is having so many problems and we should wait to get together when she is gets squared away. Well she texted me twice. On Tuesday a smiley face and then a hope you are having a great day. I am assuming this was to lure me into a new conversation down the beta rathole of leading me to pick her up for a lame date. I did not bite. Stayed quiet and there has been no texts either way. I would have assumed that she would have texted me by now. She always has in the past. But it appears we are in a war of wills. So here I sit.

What would be the next step? Just wait for her to text? Open her again and try to reengage? I know it has only been a few days. Not sure what the protocol is here.

Also on the 40YONurse front. I think that either she is not into me anymore like she has met someone else or she is testing me also. This one has been much more simple from the start. She was much less of a game player than the 33YO. But I did meet her in my beta mode and changed to a more reformed beta/alpha midstream. So maybe that has her confused with pigeonholing me? I don’t know. We met two weeks ago for first time sex and it was awesome. Lots of banging lots of orgasms squirting and everything she was very emphatic about how much she liked it and wanted to meet soon. However the next week she had her kid get sick on the day of the meet and we had to cancel. She wanted to reschedule and make it up to me. We do not text a lot so I figured no big deal. However when we did text it starts out good and fizzled she just dropped the interaction. So I figured I am not going to chase I will just wait. 5 days go by and nothing. So I figured I would reengage today to set something up. Here is the text exchange:

Me: There is a dude in the airport down here in —-…keeps looking at me…I think he’s a spy 9:05 AM (credit walawala good opener)
Her: What did u do? R u a criminal 9:07 AM
Her: Turned traitor? Lol 9:08 AM
Me: Lol…you know I am dangerous 9:08 AM
Her: Yup that’s why he’s scoping you. He’s got a camera on you 9:09 AM
Me: I bet you sent him…checking me out 9:10 AM
Me: Gonna be back in —– friday evening…lets get together 9:13 AM
Her: Standby in docs office 9:14 AM (drops the conversation)

That was it. Nothing else. Did I do this right? Is there something else I should have done? I am not chasing. I am not being needy. She as a lot on her plate single mom with three kids. No husband or father. But just dropping text convos twice seems like a shit test to me. I know now that I should not have initiated this at work. Tactical error. Any other advice. Am I being too impatient and needy here?


  • YaReally
    on May 22, 2014 at 6:09 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    “Just wait for her to text?”

    Keep waiting. Think in weeks, not days. This is the hardest thing for guys to wrap their heads around. A girl can ignore you for a month and know you’ll still be there waiting for her when she decides to allow you her attention. A guy freaks out after a few days “OMG WHAT IF ITS OVER!!!!” lol Give it a week or two. She’s not going to go chase some other guy (except to make you jealous), you’re the highest-value guy around her.

    “However when we did text it starts out good and fizzled she just dropped the interaction.”

    Maybe she was cleaning up her kid’s puke or getting her vagina waxed, who knows lol She likes you, she wants to reschedule, you guys don’t normally txt much anyway. Trust your value.

    That’s really the key, you have to trust that you are high-value to these women. You have to really believe and accept it.

    “5 days go by and nothing.”

    Has 5 day of no txt from her gone by before? You said you don’t txt eachother much. If you’ve gone 4+ days without hearing from her before, quit worrying about it lol not every girl is gonna’ be banging on your door nightly after you bang her. She’s probably got a lot of shit going on is all…that’s probably why she doesn’t txt much in general, she doesn’t have time to maintain a relationship or shoot the shit over txts all night, she has *3 KIDS* one of them who’s sick enough that she’s in the doctor’s office during your last txt convo.

    She just wants to be able to, in a couple weeks, go “hey, my kid’s away at band camp this weekend, are you free?” and get laid lol View her as probably a 2x a month max lay, not a weekly or more lay.

    “But just dropping text convos twice seems like a shit test to me.”

    Nah, not everyone txts the same. I usually say “k gotta go do such and such now peace” and a girl actually txted me “I don’t do goodye txts” like, to let me know that she just drops txt conversations when she has shit to do (and picks them up whenever, if at all), like she isn’t going to coddle me and hug me goodbye and tell me where she’s off to and what she can’t continue the conversation.

    This girl doesn’t txt much to begin with so that fits her personality, to just abruptly end conversations to deal with her shit. She’s not a starry-eyed 19yo sitting in her bedroom txting boys and Facebooking all night lol

    “Am I being too impatient and needy here?”

    Ya, chill out lol. Trust your value. 33yo is just trying to get you into her frame but she’ll cave, it’ll just take a while because you helped build her princess frame up solid so now you have to undo that (VS never getting sucked into that frame to begin with). 40yo is just busy with 3 kids and work and doctor’s appointments and shit and isn’t a big txt’er to begin with.

    Radio silence for the 33yo till Monday minimum, even if she offers to hang out. She’s being punished right now and it’s bugging her, that’s why she’s sending feeler txts. She’ll go through her rolodex trying to get her attention, you can txt her next week sometime.

    No txting 40yo, she’ll txt you when she’s finally free, probably in a week or so.

    Congrats, you just eliminated the time sink of having to txt 2 girls, now you can use that time to accomplish life stuff or find more girls. :) It’s all win/win when you reframe it that way lol



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 22, 2014 at 5:04 pm
Original Link

@yareally by the way never saw that long comment with the plan…any chance of reviving that brother?


  • YaReally
    on May 22, 2014 at 6:10 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    Negative, I don’t really save my posts. Unlock it, pretty pretty please mods? lol



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 22, 2014 at 5:04 pm
Original Link

@yareally by the way never saw that long comment with the plan…any chance of reviving that brother?


  • YaReally
    on May 22, 2014 at 6:10 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    Negative, I don’t really save my posts. Unlock it, pretty pretty please mods? lol



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 23, 2014 at 6:29 am
Original Link

@yareally thanks brother for the perspective. Once again you are right. 40YOnurse contacted me this morning with a huge text about all the family issues she is dealing with and she has to take care of. So I just responded back with ok…you have your hands full…just give me a call when things settle down. That kind of follows your advice. Sometimes I just need to settle down. And not take this so seriously. Even though I have spinning plates. I still seem to have a scarcity mentality.

Oh well admitting it and knowing it are the first steps. I guess you cant get rid of 50 years of conditioning in a few weeks. If you have any suggestions on how to change this mindset I am all ears. Thanks.

@walwala…thanks dude I always learn from your stuff.


  • YaReally
    on May 23, 2014 at 7:40 am
    Original Link

    @reco
    “Once again you are right. 40YOnurse contacted me this morning with a huge text about all the family issues she is dealing with and she has to take care of. ”

    lol figured. Women’s timeline is often a lot slower than men because sex is abundant for them, not scarce. So a poor guy might look at an opportunity to make some money and go “I want this money bad, I will do whatever it takes to get this ASAP, i will stay awake for 3 nights and not waste time eating food or going to the bathroom to get this money” and fight tooth ‘n nail for it. But a rich dude might see that same opportunity and go “That money would be nice, it would be cool if I got it at some point, we’ll see what happens I guess, I have a lot going on right now that makes it kind of inconvenient but hopefully it’s still available when I’m more free”

    “So I just responded back with ok…you have your hands full…just give me a call when things settle down.”

    Solid. Just make sure it’s a friendly “that’s cool no worries” txt VS an “I don’t hang with drama chicks, figure your shit out” vibe with this one. Like both responses are communicating essentially the same end result (her contacting you when she’s ready to bang) but 33YO and 26YO get the dickish version because they’re being bratty, and this one is cool just legit busy so she gets the chill version. Make sense?

    Again a big part of girls coming back to me, esp after they blow me off because they get a boyfriend for a few months or whatever, is that I’m like lol whatever it’s all good, keep my number incase things don’t work out and I let them know that they can always feel free to txt me up down the road. I’m not bitter or going to hold it against them or anything.

    I look at it kind of like how I figure Hef would view it, like oh okay you go off and handle your shit and I hope it works out for you, but if not you’re always welcome back at the mansion.

    Some guys will get butthurt over girls not being able to make time for them (“wtf I’m high-value she should see that, I need validation because my self-esteem is built on a shaky foundation and crumbles and makes me butthurt if a girl isn’t constantly chasing me…I’mma next that bitch and tell my buddies how cool I am for telling her to fuck off!”) but people have lives to deal with and I’m just offering sex on the side when it’s convenient and fun for them.

    I have and can get other girls so if it takes her a month to sort out her life and schedule where she can make time for us to bang, that’s cool, I’m having fun in the meantime and I won’t hold it against her that she had to flake a couple times if those flakes are legit life stuff and not just her being a brat and testing me.

    “Oh well admitting it and knowing it are the first steps. I guess you cant get rid of 50 years of conditioning in a few weeks.”

    Keep reminding yourself of this lol You are doing awesome. I’m only heavily critiquing your shit because you actually take the advice and apply it and are clearly attempting to learn and handle this stuff so I know it’ll help you. But realistically you are making ridiculous progress, esp for an older guy. Like, you’re hitting this shit harder than a lot of guys my age that I know who are just dicking around and not really making an effort.

    You’re going to be living an entirely different life a year from now that you can’t even imagine right now, if you keep this kind of effort up lol

    “If you have any suggestions on how to change this mindset I am all ears.”

    You’re doing it. :) Like you say, you’re unwiring 50 years of bad conditioning and bad habits and bad mindsets that society brainwashed you with. There’s no “oh just flip this switch and by Monday your mindset will be rock solid”. You are gonna’ slip up a ton and revert back into old mindsets etc. Game is reference experiences…you have 50 years of bad mindset reference experiences, you need to gather a ton of good mindset reference experiences to cancel those out. That’s why we make guys go out and actually mack on girls and stuff, because you can’t learn this stuff just reading at your keyboard, you have to go out and push some buttons and see “oh, okay, this happened like they said, and now I execute this and hey I got that result I was hoping for and the explanation I read makes sense for why that happened” and store that reference experience away in your brain.

    Keep going, you’re doing awesome lol


  • AlephMale
    on May 23, 2014 at 7:58 am
    Original Link

    Excellent work. Learning to do this 6 years ago(at age 25) was one of the major steps in my transformation. Unproductive texting is one of the major traps modern men need to look out for. I had all sorts of girls texting me about their feeeelings and thought I was making progress with them when in fact they viewed me as an asexual emotional tampon.


    • YaReally
      on May 23, 2014 at 10:30 am
      Original Link

      “I had all sorts of girls texting me about their feeeelings and thought I was making progress with them when in fact they viewed me as an asexual emotional tampon.”

      lol I literally got a txt the other day from a fuckbuddy saying “I need some guy advice” and I just sent her back “go with the red dress, it’s sluttier” and she’s like “lol you’re soooo wise thanks”. Didn’t end up finding out what she wanted advice about and don’t really care ’cause I’m sure it wasn’t a big deal and she figured it out on her own or asked other guys for their advice on why Jenny at work is such a bitch etc. lol


  • having a bad day
    on May 23, 2014 at 8:43 am
    Original Link

    @reco

    “I am assuming this was to lure me into a new conversation down the beta rathole of leading me to pick her up for a lame date. I did not bite. Stayed quiet and there has been no texts either way.”

    see how much you’ve learned already!…lol

    ” I would have assumed that she would have texted me by now. She always has in the past. But it appears we are in a war of wills. So here I sit.”

    welcome to one more page in her rolodex…lol…

    “What would be the next step? Just wait for her to text? Open her again and try to reengage? I know it has only been a few days. Not sure what the protocol is here.”

    wait…wait…and wait some more…lol…and spin more plates…lol.

    your only options are 1) ‘wait’ (just a note on the ‘wait’ idea…waiting = beta bc you’re still in her frame/reacting to her frame…you’re not technically ‘waiting’… you just don’t have time to entertain her silly girl drama bc you are too busy spinning up that victoria secret’s model training school…lol) or 2) beta white knight chaser (with all that baggage and nooo sex…lol)…

    actually, the reality of the ‘waiting’ is that you dug yourself into a hole by rewarding her beta baiting rolodex plays ‘enough’ for her to see that you were starting to slip into her frame. now, what you are doing isn’t so much ‘waiting’ (at least in the sense that you mean it) as it is letting her ‘reset’ her behavior patterns/reward expectations by NOT reacting to her rolodex script, to allow her behavior patterns to extinguish and for you to set/hold the frame as you = alpha stud.

    on 40yonurse…nice reopen!…fun/playful…not needy…good job! texting during work hours isn’t always a tactical error. it’s ok if you are trying to set something up for that same night. how else would you do that? and still give her time to get a sitter/make arrangements? i think what YaReally was saying about not texting during the day is that she won’t have time (or the right head space) to get sexual/flirty (as the goal itself) while she’s at work. so as long as you’re just arranging a meet up it’s ok (and doing THAT in a flirty way is the best way to go there…lol) so good job on that!

    this situ with the 40yonurse is the best outcome for you (and for her…lol). couple times a month…no strings…great hassle free sex…what’s not to love…lol…just accept that alphas get this kind of stuff all the time. you’re over thinking it in a beta conditioned way. it’s really NOT supposed to be that hard to get laid…lol…(and it’s not…lol). women looove sex…with men they are attracted to = alpha stud…

    contrast this 40yonurse “easy, whenever she’s available” type of arrangement with your 33yoprude situ…THAT’s the difference between alpha and beta right there…lol…and understand that the 33yoprude situ is just a ‘perception change’ (by her) away from having that same ‘easy, whenever she’s available’ type situ also…that’s the WHY behind ‘waiting’…lol…you’re changing her (33yoprude) perception of you from beta white knight wannabe to alpha stud. and it’s going to take some time bc you already rewarded her rolodex script a couple of times…lol…

    just a note on that…changing 33yoprude’s perception is going to take more effort (waiting longer…) bc of the idea of intermittent reinforcement reward scheduling. that’s the most powerful reinforcement schedule for rewarding behaviors (like slot machine payouts). and it’s the goal for you to be able to reward her behaviors that you want to keep. but you’re not there yet…

    now, you are extinguishing her behaviors that you don’t want…by not reacting/giving her attention/rewarding…you rewarded her beta baiting gambits on several occasions, but not consistently enough to establish a fix pattern. so she’s going to try to run through her rolodex several times to see if you bite on anything. that means it’s going to take longer and if you do make a mistake and ‘go beta’ even once, she’ll be that much harder to spin up into a producing plate. def worth the pursuit, even for the practice…lol…but climbing out of that hole is going to take some time…

    “Am I being too impatient and needy here?”

    too impatient = yes…needy = no…you just have to learn to trust the process…

    “I guess you cant get rid of 50 years of conditioning in a few weeks. If you have any suggestions on how to change this mindset I am all ears.”

    that’s true. it takes some time and some success in applying this new knowledge. you’ve had some success already. now, you just need to translate ‘timing issues’ into your red pill knowledge base. a lot of alpha/beta differences are based on timing…if you waaaiiiit (a couple beats) to respond to a question/comment, and just let the silence hang there = alpha..if you jump right in with your response almost before the other person is done talking = beta…same actual response but different perceptions, all due to timing. apply that idea to texting…

    best suggestion = keep doing what you’re doing…lol…you’re doing great! you’ve made a ton of progress. all that hard work is paying off…great job!

    now, give us the FR on that red head…lol…


    • YaReally
      on May 23, 2014 at 12:32 pm
      Original Link

      @reco @having a bad day
      “now, what you are doing isn’t so much ‘waiting’ (at least in the sense that you mean it) as it is letting her ‘reset’ her behavior patterns/reward expectations by NOT reacting to her rolodex script, to allow her behavior patterns to extinguish and for you to set/hold the frame as you = alpha stud.”

      This is an important point.

      I describe it to guys who are having trouble waiting like this:

      You can only initiate, say, twice, with her not responding to you or her flaking on you, before you look like a chump/loser chasing her.

      Say she hasn’t responded in a couple days but you KNOW she likes you.

      You can send a txt on day 3 but now you only have one txt left. What if she doesn’t respond to that txt because she’s still in whatever bratty/taking-you-for-granted state she was in a few days ago? So you send the 2nd txt a week later and she txts one reply then stops txting for a few days. Now you’ve blown your whole load, emptied your clip, and you can’t re-initiate with her again or you might as well just wear a hat that says Orbiter Chode.

      Now let’s stretch that out exaggerated…say she doesn’t respond for a couple days but you KNOW she likes you. So you wait a MONTH to txt her. Radio silent for a freaking month on her. She is DAMN well going to respond to you. But say she still flakes on you or she doesn’t play along right away and you just stop txting her again. Then you wait like 6 MONTHS to txt her that 2nd txt. The whole time she’s stressing how she fucked it up and she can’t seem to get your attention and she’s given up and crying herself to sleep and maybe dating some loser chode who’s not nearly the man you were to her…then after that 6 months boom her phone lights up with a txt from you. You think she’s gonna’ ignore that txt? Fuuuuck no. She will be like “OMG CAN I PLZ MEET UP WITH U AND SUCK UR DICK PLZ PLZ PLZ DON’T LEAVE ME AGAIN”

      That’s why I say think in terms of weeks, not days, because you can’t initiate every week. There are going to be times where she tries going silent on you (that’s a move in her rolodex just like guilting you or begging you or threatening you etc.). You can’t react to that every time by freaking out after a few days and trying to re-initiate. It makes you look like a chode with nothing else going on and it teaches her “if you want my attention, ignore me for a few days” so she’ll just increase that behavior.

      If you ignored 33YO for a month, and I’m not saying you should, but if you DID, like total radio silence on her…you could almost literally just txt “hey. Come to Restaurant Saturday at 8pm. I want to see you.” out of the blue and she would throw a huge fuss txting you back and you could completely ignore her and stay radio silent and she should show up at Restaurant Saturday at 8pm lol


    • YaReally
      on May 23, 2014 at 12:47 pm
      Original Link

      “contrast this 40yonurse “easy, whenever she’s available” type of arrangement with your 33yoprude situ…THAT’s the difference between alpha and beta right there…lol…and understand that the 33yoprude situ is just a ‘perception change’ (by her) away from having that same ‘easy, whenever she’s available’ type situ also…that’s the WHY behind ‘waiting’…lol…you’re changing her (33yoprude) perception of you from beta white knight wannabe to alpha stud. and it’s going to take some time bc you already rewarded her rolodex script a couple of times…lol…”

      This is also important. This is why walawala was getting fucked over. He’d react to his clusterB’s rolodex and she would suck him right back in and then it would just reenforce her view of him as beta chasing her even MORE because he was almost out and then caved at the last second over and over. That’s why at first I was like “this could take a few weeks or a month” and then by the end I was like “dude this is going to take you literally a YEAR of waiting her out now because you keep doing shit like this” lol It’s just tacking on more time for her to “reset” and have her perception change and there’s a point where it never will.

      “a lot of alpha/beta differences are based on timing…if you waaaiiiit (a couple beats) to respond to a question/comment, and just let the silence hang there = alpha..if you jump right in with your response almost before the other person is done talking = beta…same actual response but different perceptions, all due to timing. apply that idea to texting…”

      Visual example of this (good and bad versions):

      I txt frequently and respond right away most of the time, but I’ll leave conversations unexpectedly without saying goodbye and sometimes I’ll ignore her txt entirely etc. I also don’t respond to gay txts where she’s bitching about work and stuff.



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 23, 2014 at 6:29 am
Original Link

@yareally thanks brother for the perspective. Once again you are right. 40YOnurse contacted me this morning with a huge text about all the family issues she is dealing with and she has to take care of. So I just responded back with ok…you have your hands full…just give me a call when things settle down. That kind of follows your advice. Sometimes I just need to settle down. And not take this so seriously. Even though I have spinning plates. I still seem to have a scarcity mentality.

Oh well admitting it and knowing it are the first steps. I guess you cant get rid of 50 years of conditioning in a few weeks. If you have any suggestions on how to change this mindset I am all ears. Thanks.

@walwala…thanks dude I always learn from your stuff.


  • YaReally
    on May 23, 2014 at 7:40 am
    Original Link

    @reco
    “Once again you are right. 40YOnurse contacted me this morning with a huge text about all the family issues she is dealing with and she has to take care of. ”

    lol figured. Women’s timeline is often a lot slower than men because sex is abundant for them, not scarce. So a poor guy might look at an opportunity to make some money and go “I want this money bad, I will do whatever it takes to get this ASAP, i will stay awake for 3 nights and not waste time eating food or going to the bathroom to get this money” and fight tooth ‘n nail for it. But a rich dude might see that same opportunity and go “That money would be nice, it would be cool if I got it at some point, we’ll see what happens I guess, I have a lot going on right now that makes it kind of inconvenient but hopefully it’s still available when I’m more free”

    “So I just responded back with ok…you have your hands full…just give me a call when things settle down.”

    Solid. Just make sure it’s a friendly “that’s cool no worries” txt VS an “I don’t hang with drama chicks, figure your shit out” vibe with this one. Like both responses are communicating essentially the same end result (her contacting you when she’s ready to bang) but 33YO and 26YO get the dickish version because they’re being bratty, and this one is cool just legit busy so she gets the chill version. Make sense?

    Again a big part of girls coming back to me, esp after they blow me off because they get a boyfriend for a few months or whatever, is that I’m like lol whatever it’s all good, keep my number incase things don’t work out and I let them know that they can always feel free to txt me up down the road. I’m not bitter or going to hold it against them or anything.

    I look at it kind of like how I figure Hef would view it, like oh okay you go off and handle your shit and I hope it works out for you, but if not you’re always welcome back at the mansion.

    Some guys will get butthurt over girls not being able to make time for them (“wtf I’m high-value she should see that, I need validation because my self-esteem is built on a shaky foundation and crumbles and makes me butthurt if a girl isn’t constantly chasing me…I’mma next that bitch and tell my buddies how cool I am for telling her to fuck off!”) but people have lives to deal with and I’m just offering sex on the side when it’s convenient and fun for them.

    I have and can get other girls so if it takes her a month to sort out her life and schedule where she can make time for us to bang, that’s cool, I’m having fun in the meantime and I won’t hold it against her that she had to flake a couple times if those flakes are legit life stuff and not just her being a brat and testing me.

    “Oh well admitting it and knowing it are the first steps. I guess you cant get rid of 50 years of conditioning in a few weeks.”

    Keep reminding yourself of this lol You are doing awesome. I’m only heavily critiquing your shit because you actually take the advice and apply it and are clearly attempting to learn and handle this stuff so I know it’ll help you. But realistically you are making ridiculous progress, esp for an older guy. Like, you’re hitting this shit harder than a lot of guys my age that I know who are just dicking around and not really making an effort.

    You’re going to be living an entirely different life a year from now that you can’t even imagine right now, if you keep this kind of effort up lol

    “If you have any suggestions on how to change this mindset I am all ears.”

    You’re doing it. :) Like you say, you’re unwiring 50 years of bad conditioning and bad habits and bad mindsets that society brainwashed you with. There’s no “oh just flip this switch and by Monday your mindset will be rock solid”. You are gonna’ slip up a ton and revert back into old mindsets etc. Game is reference experiences…you have 50 years of bad mindset reference experiences, you need to gather a ton of good mindset reference experiences to cancel those out. That’s why we make guys go out and actually mack on girls and stuff, because you can’t learn this stuff just reading at your keyboard, you have to go out and push some buttons and see “oh, okay, this happened like they said, and now I execute this and hey I got that result I was hoping for and the explanation I read makes sense for why that happened” and store that reference experience away in your brain.

    Keep going, you’re doing awesome lol


  • AlephMale
    on May 23, 2014 at 7:58 am
    Original Link

    Excellent work. Learning to do this 6 years ago(at age 25) was one of the major steps in my transformation. Unproductive texting is one of the major traps modern men need to look out for. I had all sorts of girls texting me about their feeeelings and thought I was making progress with them when in fact they viewed me as an asexual emotional tampon.


    • YaReally
      on May 23, 2014 at 10:30 am
      Original Link

      “I had all sorts of girls texting me about their feeeelings and thought I was making progress with them when in fact they viewed me as an asexual emotional tampon.”

      lol I literally got a txt the other day from a fuckbuddy saying “I need some guy advice” and I just sent her back “go with the red dress, it’s sluttier” and she’s like “lol you’re soooo wise thanks”. Didn’t end up finding out what she wanted advice about and don’t really care ’cause I’m sure it wasn’t a big deal and she figured it out on her own or asked other guys for their advice on why Jenny at work is such a bitch etc. lol


  • having a bad day
    on May 23, 2014 at 8:43 am
    Original Link

    @reco

    “I am assuming this was to lure me into a new conversation down the beta rathole of leading me to pick her up for a lame date. I did not bite. Stayed quiet and there has been no texts either way.”

    see how much you’ve learned already!…lol

    ” I would have assumed that she would have texted me by now. She always has in the past. But it appears we are in a war of wills. So here I sit.”

    welcome to one more page in her rolodex…lol…

    “What would be the next step? Just wait for her to text? Open her again and try to reengage? I know it has only been a few days. Not sure what the protocol is here.”

    wait…wait…and wait some more…lol…and spin more plates…lol.

    your only options are 1) ‘wait’ (just a note on the ‘wait’ idea…waiting = beta bc you’re still in her frame/reacting to her frame…you’re not technically ‘waiting’… you just don’t have time to entertain her silly girl drama bc you are too busy spinning up that victoria secret’s model training school…lol) or 2) beta white knight chaser (with all that baggage and nooo sex…lol)…

    actually, the reality of the ‘waiting’ is that you dug yourself into a hole by rewarding her beta baiting rolodex plays ‘enough’ for her to see that you were starting to slip into her frame. now, what you are doing isn’t so much ‘waiting’ (at least in the sense that you mean it) as it is letting her ‘reset’ her behavior patterns/reward expectations by NOT reacting to her rolodex script, to allow her behavior patterns to extinguish and for you to set/hold the frame as you = alpha stud.

    on 40yonurse…nice reopen!…fun/playful…not needy…good job! texting during work hours isn’t always a tactical error. it’s ok if you are trying to set something up for that same night. how else would you do that? and still give her time to get a sitter/make arrangements? i think what YaReally was saying about not texting during the day is that she won’t have time (or the right head space) to get sexual/flirty (as the goal itself) while she’s at work. so as long as you’re just arranging a meet up it’s ok (and doing THAT in a flirty way is the best way to go there…lol) so good job on that!

    this situ with the 40yonurse is the best outcome for you (and for her…lol). couple times a month…no strings…great hassle free sex…what’s not to love…lol…just accept that alphas get this kind of stuff all the time. you’re over thinking it in a beta conditioned way. it’s really NOT supposed to be that hard to get laid…lol…(and it’s not…lol). women looove sex…with men they are attracted to = alpha stud…

    contrast this 40yonurse “easy, whenever she’s available” type of arrangement with your 33yoprude situ…THAT’s the difference between alpha and beta right there…lol…and understand that the 33yoprude situ is just a ‘perception change’ (by her) away from having that same ‘easy, whenever she’s available’ type situ also…that’s the WHY behind ‘waiting’…lol…you’re changing her (33yoprude) perception of you from beta white knight wannabe to alpha stud. and it’s going to take some time bc you already rewarded her rolodex script a couple of times…lol…

    just a note on that…changing 33yoprude’s perception is going to take more effort (waiting longer…) bc of the idea of intermittent reinforcement reward scheduling. that’s the most powerful reinforcement schedule for rewarding behaviors (like slot machine payouts). and it’s the goal for you to be able to reward her behaviors that you want to keep. but you’re not there yet…

    now, you are extinguishing her behaviors that you don’t want…by not reacting/giving her attention/rewarding…you rewarded her beta baiting gambits on several occasions, but not consistently enough to establish a fix pattern. so she’s going to try to run through her rolodex several times to see if you bite on anything. that means it’s going to take longer and if you do make a mistake and ‘go beta’ even once, she’ll be that much harder to spin up into a producing plate. def worth the pursuit, even for the practice…lol…but climbing out of that hole is going to take some time…

    “Am I being too impatient and needy here?”

    too impatient = yes…needy = no…you just have to learn to trust the process…

    “I guess you cant get rid of 50 years of conditioning in a few weeks. If you have any suggestions on how to change this mindset I am all ears.”

    that’s true. it takes some time and some success in applying this new knowledge. you’ve had some success already. now, you just need to translate ‘timing issues’ into your red pill knowledge base. a lot of alpha/beta differences are based on timing…if you waaaiiiit (a couple beats) to respond to a question/comment, and just let the silence hang there = alpha..if you jump right in with your response almost before the other person is done talking = beta…same actual response but different perceptions, all due to timing. apply that idea to texting…

    best suggestion = keep doing what you’re doing…lol…you’re doing great! you’ve made a ton of progress. all that hard work is paying off…great job!

    now, give us the FR on that red head…lol…


    • YaReally
      on May 23, 2014 at 12:32 pm
      Original Link

      @reco @having a bad day
      “now, what you are doing isn’t so much ‘waiting’ (at least in the sense that you mean it) as it is letting her ‘reset’ her behavior patterns/reward expectations by NOT reacting to her rolodex script, to allow her behavior patterns to extinguish and for you to set/hold the frame as you = alpha stud.”

      This is an important point.

      I describe it to guys who are having trouble waiting like this:

      You can only initiate, say, twice, with her not responding to you or her flaking on you, before you look like a chump/loser chasing her.

      Say she hasn’t responded in a couple days but you KNOW she likes you.

      You can send a txt on day 3 but now you only have one txt left. What if she doesn’t respond to that txt because she’s still in whatever bratty/taking-you-for-granted state she was in a few days ago? So you send the 2nd txt a week later and she txts one reply then stops txting for a few days. Now you’ve blown your whole load, emptied your clip, and you can’t re-initiate with her again or you might as well just wear a hat that says Orbiter Chode.

      Now let’s stretch that out exaggerated…say she doesn’t respond for a couple days but you KNOW she likes you. So you wait a MONTH to txt her. Radio silent for a freaking month on her. She is DAMN well going to respond to you. But say she still flakes on you or she doesn’t play along right away and you just stop txting her again. Then you wait like 6 MONTHS to txt her that 2nd txt. The whole time she’s stressing how she fucked it up and she can’t seem to get your attention and she’s given up and crying herself to sleep and maybe dating some loser chode who’s not nearly the man you were to her…then after that 6 months boom her phone lights up with a txt from you. You think she’s gonna’ ignore that txt? Fuuuuck no. She will be like “OMG CAN I PLZ MEET UP WITH U AND SUCK UR DICK PLZ PLZ PLZ DON’T LEAVE ME AGAIN”

      That’s why I say think in terms of weeks, not days, because you can’t initiate every week. There are going to be times where she tries going silent on you (that’s a move in her rolodex just like guilting you or begging you or threatening you etc.). You can’t react to that every time by freaking out after a few days and trying to re-initiate. It makes you look like a chode with nothing else going on and it teaches her “if you want my attention, ignore me for a few days” so she’ll just increase that behavior.

      If you ignored 33YO for a month, and I’m not saying you should, but if you DID, like total radio silence on her…you could almost literally just txt “hey. Come to Restaurant Saturday at 8pm. I want to see you.” out of the blue and she would throw a huge fuss txting you back and you could completely ignore her and stay radio silent and she should show up at Restaurant Saturday at 8pm lol


    • YaReally
      on May 23, 2014 at 12:47 pm
      Original Link

      “contrast this 40yonurse “easy, whenever she’s available” type of arrangement with your 33yoprude situ…THAT’s the difference between alpha and beta right there…lol…and understand that the 33yoprude situ is just a ‘perception change’ (by her) away from having that same ‘easy, whenever she’s available’ type situ also…that’s the WHY behind ‘waiting’…lol…you’re changing her (33yoprude) perception of you from beta white knight wannabe to alpha stud. and it’s going to take some time bc you already rewarded her rolodex script a couple of times…lol…”

      This is also important. This is why walawala was getting fucked over. He’d react to his clusterB’s rolodex and she would suck him right back in and then it would just reenforce her view of him as beta chasing her even MORE because he was almost out and then caved at the last second over and over. That’s why at first I was like “this could take a few weeks or a month” and then by the end I was like “dude this is going to take you literally a YEAR of waiting her out now because you keep doing shit like this” lol It’s just tacking on more time for her to “reset” and have her perception change and there’s a point where it never will.

      “a lot of alpha/beta differences are based on timing…if you waaaiiiit (a couple beats) to respond to a question/comment, and just let the silence hang there = alpha..if you jump right in with your response almost before the other person is done talking = beta…same actual response but different perceptions, all due to timing. apply that idea to texting…”

      Visual example of this (good and bad versions):

      I txt frequently and respond right away most of the time, but I’ll leave conversations unexpectedly without saying goodbye and sometimes I’ll ignore her txt entirely etc. I also don’t respond to gay txts where she’s bitching about work and stuff.



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

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Will
on May 23, 2014 at 8:37 am
Original Link

@yareally
Last update (but an interesting and important one) from the girl I’ve bitched about and I know I’ve posted before just hear me out on this last post:

Basically this relationship with this girl has been very odd. It’s been fucking/hanging out then radio silence every 1-2-3 weeks with one large break in between for 12 months. Sidenote is I’m decent in bed with a talked about body (athletic—my body gets me sex appeal not my face)–and she has asked ‘what I want from her’ and ‘are u seeing anyone else consistently’ which I aa’ed as shit tests. AND she has taken me to a sporting event a little time ago. Anyways did nothing on her b-day, vday (she playful 1 word texted I ignored), Christmas etc. nothing. And we;ve actually done maybe a few outdoorsy activities (but then fucking—literally fucked every single time we’ve hung out). Quick note—she has stopped mid hood up and asked ‘what I need from her’ and ‘are you seeing anyone else’ which I agreed and amp’ed as shit tests. Anyways to the interesting stuff. Keep in mind she is a very high smv 8.5-9 blonde—probably second hottest girl at the party, not a slut, and guys are texting her and inviting her to everything:

ANYWAYS, it’s been about 2 weeks now of radio silence since I took her to the “extra tickets” (I framed them day-of that someone gave me ‘extra’ tix) sweeeet seats at the hockey game.

Now I ruthlessly FUCKED up by doing this. This is b/c I basically covertly communicated that she is my top/best girl, and that it might even be true that she is the only girl I’ve been getting sex with all this time (who knows but this is what she now FEELS). Wow, I feel like an idiot. What I should’ve done when I got these tickets was take a different girl and show off covertly to this top girl that I took another girl–> that way it would covertly communicate ‘you need to work more to please me’ (i.e. jealousy/dread tactic). BUT I was intending this to be directed toward helping any sort of anti-slut defense for having been fucking for so long with no huge amount of rapport/emotion. It basically backfired though i’m afraid.

I’m finally starting to get everything a little more now—It just sucks it has to be on such a high smv chick.

So now to the tricky part. I know she is obviously texting other guys and most likely hooked up with a few here and there (but most likely not sex. I know this b/c when we first met I was verrrry high status to her and she made it wait after 2 or 3 times. Anyways, I know for a fact one guy she is texted is a beta and just doesn’t have the experiences or insight yet on game to understand any of this—I can tell. Let’s just call him ‘Bob’. She texts, hangouts, and parties with Bob and he is a guy who can prob get her clothes off then nothing more (my best guess in all honesty).

BUT now that I’ve FUCKED up by basically pedestalizing her she has pulled more towards him b/c he’s had this kind of mono-face I don’t care attitude partly b/c she hasn’t sexed him and I FUCKING PEDESTALIZED her with my sweet seats. SOO she seems to now be playing it up a little more with him (also prob b/c he probably got a new girl b/c she was playing too hard). So basically now she wants to steal his attention back which she probably will b/c this guy is beta.

For the experts and more experienced ones who have maybe even been through this…how do you snap this girl back into line as a spinning plate so I can mold her to the right girl? Maybe looking for definitive plans from @yareally. For some reason I feel like I am at the line of no return. Was this a death sentence? It’s hard to read b/c radio silence has been normal like this but i’ve just never pulled such a pedestalization on her.

Thinking about this all makes me want to puke.

My plan is this: radio silence forever, unless she initiates in which I respond a day later with a neg and playful tease/reponse. IF she even tries to mention something about meeting up—I deny and say ”maybe wednesday”–>and then flake wednesday. Only then if she reinitiates a meet up will I make her come to me.
And if I unexpected see her I’ll pretend nothing has been wrong and neg/kino playfully flirt with her AFTER I ignore her a little and hit on other girls in front of her.

Detailed plans would be beneficial. Thoughts

It also feels like i’m trapped now. Like everything this girl sees me do with other girls won’t make her jealous b/c I took her to this sweet game. Ugh. I just had such a great opportunity to make her work more to please me and get her jealous and I fucked it up. I never thought doing something fun like a hockey game would have such devastating effects ha.


  • YaReally
    on May 23, 2014 at 3:14 pm
    Original Link

    @Will
    “I’ve FUCKED up by basically pedestalizing her”
    (…)
    “how do you snap this girl back into line”

    You ARE pedestalizing her. You have one-itis. Either tell her “Be my girlfriend.” in an alpha way like I told you to already, or ditch her and GFTOW until you stop writing 10 page posts about this one special flower lol

    “Thinking about this all makes me want to puke.”

    Look how reactive you are to her. She’s just a fuckin’ girl man. You are supposed to be the oak tree and you’re acting like a fidgety squirrel.

    You’ll get her when you’re okay with losing her.

    “It also feels like i’m trapped now.”

    You are, you’re trapped in one-itis.

    I’ve stopped replying to you because you aren’t actually taking any advice. You just want me to say “here’s the magic Get Her Back Routine that’ll fix this dude!!! Just say these 3 witty lines and she’ll be begging you for a relationship!!”

    You are too invested in her. And you don’t want her as a plate, you want her as a GF. Either step up and tell her she’s your GF like a man who takes what he wants, or cut both of you loose. Even if you got her right now, you’d probably lose her in a few months because you’d be running around like a chicken with your head cut off freaking out about every comment guys leave on her Facebook wall and how many degrees of an angle her body is turned toward some guy in some photo.



Spiders, Diversity, And Seduction, Oh My

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Will
on May 23, 2014 at 8:37 am
Original Link

@yareally
Last update (but an interesting and important one) from the girl I’ve bitched about and I know I’ve posted before just hear me out on this last post:

Basically this relationship with this girl has been very odd. It’s been fucking/hanging out then radio silence every 1-2-3 weeks with one large break in between for 12 months. Sidenote is I’m decent in bed with a talked about body (athletic—my body gets me sex appeal not my face)–and she has asked ‘what I want from her’ and ‘are u seeing anyone else consistently’ which I aa’ed as shit tests. AND she has taken me to a sporting event a little time ago. Anyways did nothing on her b-day, vday (she playful 1 word texted I ignored), Christmas etc. nothing. And we;ve actually done maybe a few outdoorsy activities (but then fucking—literally fucked every single time we’ve hung out). Quick note—she has stopped mid hood up and asked ‘what I need from her’ and ‘are you seeing anyone else’ which I agreed and amp’ed as shit tests. Anyways to the interesting stuff. Keep in mind she is a very high smv 8.5-9 blonde—probably second hottest girl at the party, not a slut, and guys are texting her and inviting her to everything:

ANYWAYS, it’s been about 2 weeks now of radio silence since I took her to the “extra tickets” (I framed them day-of that someone gave me ‘extra’ tix) sweeeet seats at the hockey game.

Now I ruthlessly FUCKED up by doing this. This is b/c I basically covertly communicated that she is my top/best girl, and that it might even be true that she is the only girl I’ve been getting sex with all this time (who knows but this is what she now FEELS). Wow, I feel like an idiot. What I should’ve done when I got these tickets was take a different girl and show off covertly to this top girl that I took another girl–> that way it would covertly communicate ‘you need to work more to please me’ (i.e. jealousy/dread tactic). BUT I was intending this to be directed toward helping any sort of anti-slut defense for having been fucking for so long with no huge amount of rapport/emotion. It basically backfired though i’m afraid.

I’m finally starting to get everything a little more now—It just sucks it has to be on such a high smv chick.

So now to the tricky part. I know she is obviously texting other guys and most likely hooked up with a few here and there (but most likely not sex. I know this b/c when we first met I was verrrry high status to her and she made it wait after 2 or 3 times. Anyways, I know for a fact one guy she is texted is a beta and just doesn’t have the experiences or insight yet on game to understand any of this—I can tell. Let’s just call him ‘Bob’. She texts, hangouts, and parties with Bob and he is a guy who can prob get her clothes off then nothing more (my best guess in all honesty).

BUT now that I’ve FUCKED up by basically pedestalizing her she has pulled more towards him b/c he’s had this kind of mono-face I don’t care attitude partly b/c she hasn’t sexed him and I FUCKING PEDESTALIZED her with my sweet seats. SOO she seems to now be playing it up a little more with him (also prob b/c he probably got a new girl b/c she was playing too hard). So basically now she wants to steal his attention back which she probably will b/c this guy is beta.

For the experts and more experienced ones who have maybe even been through this…how do you snap this girl back into line as a spinning plate so I can mold her to the right girl? Maybe looking for definitive plans from @yareally. For some reason I feel like I am at the line of no return. Was this a death sentence? It’s hard to read b/c radio silence has been normal like this but i’ve just never pulled such a pedestalization on her.

Thinking about this all makes me want to puke.

My plan is this: radio silence forever, unless she initiates in which I respond a day later with a neg and playful tease/reponse. IF she even tries to mention something about meeting up—I deny and say ”maybe wednesday”–>and then flake wednesday. Only then if she reinitiates a meet up will I make her come to me.
And if I unexpected see her I’ll pretend nothing has been wrong and neg/kino playfully flirt with her AFTER I ignore her a little and hit on other girls in front of her.

Detailed plans would be beneficial. Thoughts

It also feels like i’m trapped now. Like everything this girl sees me do with other girls won’t make her jealous b/c I took her to this sweet game. Ugh. I just had such a great opportunity to make her work more to please me and get her jealous and I fucked it up. I never thought doing something fun like a hockey game would have such devastating effects ha.


  • YaReally
    on May 23, 2014 at 3:14 pm
    Original Link

    @Will
    “I’ve FUCKED up by basically pedestalizing her”
    (…)
    “how do you snap this girl back into line”

    You ARE pedestalizing her. You have one-itis. Either tell her “Be my girlfriend.” in an alpha way like I told you to already, or ditch her and GFTOW until you stop writing 10 page posts about this one special flower lol

    “Thinking about this all makes me want to puke.”

    Look how reactive you are to her. She’s just a fuckin’ girl man. You are supposed to be the oak tree and you’re acting like a fidgety squirrel.

    You’ll get her when you’re okay with losing her.

    “It also feels like i’m trapped now.”

    You are, you’re trapped in one-itis.

    I’ve stopped replying to you because you aren’t actually taking any advice. You just want me to say “here’s the magic Get Her Back Routine that’ll fix this dude!!! Just say these 3 witty lines and she’ll be begging you for a relationship!!”

    You are too invested in her. And you don’t want her as a plate, you want her as a GF. Either step up and tell her she’s your GF like a man who takes what he wants, or cut both of you loose. Even if you got her right now, you’d probably lose her in a few months because you’d be running around like a chicken with your head cut off freaking out about every comment guys leave on her Facebook wall and how many degrees of an angle her body is turned toward some guy in some photo.



Hugging Is Beta

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YaReally
on May 21, 2014 at 11:55 am
Original Link

lol just don’t lean in like a desperate chode, that’s all. Let her come to you, let her hug into you as you lean back the same way you’d let your child hug your leg as you’re taking off your jacket as you arrive home from a hard day at work.

I usually just use one arm around her lower back and often I’m already acknowledging someone more important to me beside her (like a guy friend we both know) as she’s hugging me, or I’ll just drop a “hey babe how you been” to her (casual “babe” not lovey-dovey lol).

Being able to comfortably throw an arm around a girl as she comes in for a hug and not freeze up all stiff or wrap your arms around her like she’s the first womanly contact you’ve had since your mom hugged you as a child is just showing her (and anyone watching, which is the more important part because girls ARE watching how you handle yourself around even casual female acquaintances) “hey, I’m comfortable around female bodies, I touch them all the time, this is no big deal to a guy like me”.

Refusing to hug is like going to a strip club and refusing to look at the girls lol You can DO that, but it’s kind of weird compared to just casually unapologetically checking the girls out like “ahh, I’m used to naked hotties around me, I appreciate this chick’s sexiness, this is no big deal to me”. Leaning in for the hug and wrapping both arms around and shit is like being the kid in the stripclub in pervert’s row hooting and hollering at the first pair of tits you’ve ever seen.



Hugging Is Beta

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YaReally
on May 21, 2014 at 11:55 am
Original Link

lol just don’t lean in like a desperate chode, that’s all. Let her come to you, let her hug into you as you lean back the same way you’d let your child hug your leg as you’re taking off your jacket as you arrive home from a hard day at work.

I usually just use one arm around her lower back and often I’m already acknowledging someone more important to me beside her (like a guy friend we both know) as she’s hugging me, or I’ll just drop a “hey babe how you been” to her (casual “babe” not lovey-dovey lol).

Being able to comfortably throw an arm around a girl as she comes in for a hug and not freeze up all stiff or wrap your arms around her like she’s the first womanly contact you’ve had since your mom hugged you as a child is just showing her (and anyone watching, which is the more important part because girls ARE watching how you handle yourself around even casual female acquaintances) “hey, I’m comfortable around female bodies, I touch them all the time, this is no big deal to a guy like me”.

Refusing to hug is like going to a strip club and refusing to look at the girls lol You can DO that, but it’s kind of weird compared to just casually unapologetically checking the girls out like “ahh, I’m used to naked hotties around me, I appreciate this chick’s sexiness, this is no big deal to me”. Leaning in for the hug and wrapping both arms around and shit is like being the kid in the stripclub in pervert’s row hooting and hollering at the first pair of tits you’ve ever seen.



Hugging Is Beta

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walawala
on May 21, 2014 at 10:20 pm
Original Link

Tactical question here. I gamed a girl at a party, followed up with her in text game and suggested an activity. She was up for drinks on the day I mentioned but couldn’t make the time I proposed so proposed Happy Hour drinks. I mentioned I couldn’t make it that early only later and proposed that or another day.

She never replied, nor replied to my ping texts.

1) I’m now free to meet earlier because my meetings were canceled. Do I re-initiate?

2) since she hasn’t respond to simple ping texts: “Am at the airport, I think the guy across from me is a spy”….is this a cold lead?

Thoughts?

[CH: sounds dead. she didn't want to meet for after hour drinks? why? does she have a steady? is she afraid you'll make a move on her that she doesn't want? or does want? regardless, you're only choice now is stop following up and give her room to come to you.]


  • walawala
    on May 22, 2014 at 6:10 pm
    Original Link

    Thanks for the reply CH. The issue here for consideration is what if a girl responds to “invites” but NOT “ping” texts? This girl is in her late 20′s and a hip hop dancer and banker so not sure if she’s a flake or a busy girl. She seemed nice when I met her and responded to game.

    To clarify…the narrative is I met her, gamed her and had proposed a meet up time and date…but she couldn’t make the time I’d proposed and offered an earlier one. I couldn’t do that one so proposed either later or another day. She didn’t reply to ping texts which I found odd considering.

    What I did was on the day of my initial invite, I sent a text: “just realized can’t meet tonight. weekend. how’s sunday?”

    She replied within 30 minutes saying she was going on a biz trip that day but would arrange something when she got back.

    Me: 2 hours later. “K”

    And left it there. I couldn’t tell whether she’s just not a “texter” or a cold lead.

    She replied to any invitations but didn’t reply to “ping” texts, that’s why I was confused as to how to proceed. I punted. Got this. Not sure whether this is polite brush off or a girl who prefers to have a clear timetable.

    But in my experience, most girls in their late 20′s know their schedules weeks in advance.

    If a lead is cold, I don’t follow up, but this vague response seemed to indicate a desire to meet without her chasing me. I’m not sure if this is a “thing” with girls: interested but not invested. I’d like to hear more on this idea.


    • YaReally
      on May 22, 2014 at 6:19 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      Probably just a busy girl. Might have a boyfriend too. Dancing can take up a lot of time and wear you out, esp if she’s prepping for a show or event or something (often those girls work as gogo dancers or dance teachers etc. too).

      A girl with nothing going on will sit around and txt all day, and if she wasn’t responding to invites i’d say she’s cold but if she’s responding to invites but not fluff txts, quit sending fluff txts.

      Ideally you want to invite her out on whatever day/time she first suggested (like if that was a monday at happy hour, try to free up your schedule to arrange a meet-up because you know mondays at happy hour she’s probably available).

      Basically if you both have busy schedules but you haven’t gotten her invested enough for her to rearrange her schedule for you, then to get the lay you’ll have to rearrange your schedule.

      A big part of my getting laid is that I’m available 24/7 because I work my own hours, so some nights I’m up all night some nights I’m up at 6am. So if I get a txt from a girl at 2pm I can take a few hours and meet up. If I get a txt from some bartender chick who just got off shift at 3am, I can tell her to come over etc.

      Once you have a shit-ton of value to her, she’ll rearrange her schedule, but if she isn’t playing along with your ping txts then you won’t get a chance to build that value over txt. So your only real option is to adjust your schedule to hers just to get her face to face with you and then build your value in person.

      If you can’t rearrange your schedule then you may have to accept that you guys just won’t be able to make it work and throw out an invite every couple weeks and cross your fingers.



Hugging Is Beta

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walawala
on May 21, 2014 at 10:20 pm
Original Link

Tactical question here. I gamed a girl at a party, followed up with her in text game and suggested an activity. She was up for drinks on the day I mentioned but couldn’t make the time I proposed so proposed Happy Hour drinks. I mentioned I couldn’t make it that early only later and proposed that or another day.

She never replied, nor replied to my ping texts.

1) I’m now free to meet earlier because my meetings were canceled. Do I re-initiate?

2) since she hasn’t respond to simple ping texts: “Am at the airport, I think the guy across from me is a spy”….is this a cold lead?

Thoughts?

[CH: sounds dead. she didn’t want to meet for after hour drinks? why? does she have a steady? is she afraid you’ll make a move on her that she doesn’t want? or does want? regardless, you’re only choice now is stop following up and give her room to come to you.]


  • walawala
    on May 22, 2014 at 6:10 pm
    Original Link

    Thanks for the reply CH. The issue here for consideration is what if a girl responds to “invites” but NOT “ping” texts? This girl is in her late 20’s and a hip hop dancer and banker so not sure if she’s a flake or a busy girl. She seemed nice when I met her and responded to game.

    To clarify…the narrative is I met her, gamed her and had proposed a meet up time and date…but she couldn’t make the time I’d proposed and offered an earlier one. I couldn’t do that one so proposed either later or another day. She didn’t reply to ping texts which I found odd considering.

    What I did was on the day of my initial invite, I sent a text: “just realized can’t meet tonight. weekend. how’s sunday?”

    She replied within 30 minutes saying she was going on a biz trip that day but would arrange something when she got back.

    Me: 2 hours later. “K”

    And left it there. I couldn’t tell whether she’s just not a “texter” or a cold lead.

    She replied to any invitations but didn’t reply to “ping” texts, that’s why I was confused as to how to proceed. I punted. Got this. Not sure whether this is polite brush off or a girl who prefers to have a clear timetable.

    But in my experience, most girls in their late 20’s know their schedules weeks in advance.

    If a lead is cold, I don’t follow up, but this vague response seemed to indicate a desire to meet without her chasing me. I’m not sure if this is a “thing” with girls: interested but not invested. I’d like to hear more on this idea.


    • YaReally
      on May 22, 2014 at 6:19 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      Probably just a busy girl. Might have a boyfriend too. Dancing can take up a lot of time and wear you out, esp if she’s prepping for a show or event or something (often those girls work as gogo dancers or dance teachers etc. too).

      A girl with nothing going on will sit around and txt all day, and if she wasn’t responding to invites i’d say she’s cold but if she’s responding to invites but not fluff txts, quit sending fluff txts.

      Ideally you want to invite her out on whatever day/time she first suggested (like if that was a monday at happy hour, try to free up your schedule to arrange a meet-up because you know mondays at happy hour she’s probably available).

      Basically if you both have busy schedules but you haven’t gotten her invested enough for her to rearrange her schedule for you, then to get the lay you’ll have to rearrange your schedule.

      A big part of my getting laid is that I’m available 24/7 because I work my own hours, so some nights I’m up all night some nights I’m up at 6am. So if I get a txt from a girl at 2pm I can take a few hours and meet up. If I get a txt from some bartender chick who just got off shift at 3am, I can tell her to come over etc.

      Once you have a shit-ton of value to her, she’ll rearrange her schedule, but if she isn’t playing along with your ping txts then you won’t get a chance to build that value over txt. So your only real option is to adjust your schedule to hers just to get her face to face with you and then build your value in person.

      If you can’t rearrange your schedule then you may have to accept that you guys just won’t be able to make it work and throw out an invite every couple weeks and cross your fingers.



Hugging Is Beta

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Grim
on May 22, 2014 at 1:20 pm
Original Link

From the CH commandments: “Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur.”

These words are so profound and explain so much. I just had an epiphany of sorts.

A woman’s own soul is a saboteur of her own happiness. Even MSM kinda sorta agrees with the idea that women are more emotion-based and simply have certain times of every month when hormones are out of whack and she makes bad decisions and has crazy thoughts. GBFM would point out how the Bible and other great books talk about the very nature of women being “evil.” They lack a moral compass, they arguably lack the ability to truly love in the way a man loves, they are herd animals, they can only worry about their own protection (not the greater good of society or the future).

Society has failed women, failed their societywide shit test (we all know shit tests are done subconsciously), and has therefore failed men, children, families, and society. In short, women need a man to guide them and stop them from their worst instincts, exactly as CH states.

But the Gen X women have been taught for 30 years to be “strong, independent,” men are bad, women are good, etc. I came to this conclusion thinking about my ex girlfriend (again). This is not me being “sour grapes” because I don’t get to make love to her anymore. SHE is miserable. She’s absolutely miserable with how her life has turned out. She told me this, when we were together, and I have other sources that let me know this.

She is nearly 39, single, childless, only getting older and the crow’s feet more pronounced, has no money or career, and has no man, and her prospects fading fast. Her own decisions sabotaged her life! Her soul was the saboteur of herself and her relationship with me and, of course, with men she was with prior to me. I’m not the only one she didn’t marry; she has not married any of the men she’s fucked. She is a perfect specimen of Generation X Woman. Cue ZS to talk about the frankfurt school and this being their exact plan.

This is another thing to really take from this blog: it is really literally 120% useless to try to argue with a woman, either during the relationship when she’s in her crazy moments or afterwards. The hamster. They will NEVER get certain things that we men get. They just cannot get it. It is impossible to get them to agree on certain things and it is literally a waste of breath to try.

My ex GF should never have met me as she did when she was 34. She should have been married to some guy she met long before me when she was 25. And I should have been married, not divorced, from my ex wife.

Our entire society, whether “frankfurt school” caused it or not, has been set up for 30 years to get people to not be married and in families. My ex GF no doubt blew up her past relationships because of crazy shit just as she blew up ours.

Girls I don’t think I’m always right, but I really do think my ex GF blew up our relationship. Her soul is a saboteur. In the past, a man would have been able to foil her worst instincts.

Today if a man does that either in a dating relationship or after marriage, he’s “controlling” or “jealous.”

I’m not advocating what’s going on in the Islamic world, where women and children are slaves and abused, but what we had in the US 1950s — which of course the PUffed Ho crowd likes to make fun of so much — really was a proper balance for the good of society and families.

Simply put, men need society’s support and authority (law and mores) to “control women” and protect them from their worst instincts.

What I’m saying is proven by emperical fact now, not just my opinion. Just look around us. As it says on page 3 of the Bible if you believe GBFM’s take on the Adam and Eve story, women’s “instincts” are to be feral and party like Miley Cyrus and end up single and alone with cats and 50 notches when they are 35.

This is one example but it’s repeated millions of times in Gen X. I know my ex GF very very very very well. I know her inner thoughts. She’s very high IQ (good at math even) and I get it. I get that some of women’s complaints are valid. But one thing that of course she would disagree with is that I swear to God I “get” her own problems better than she does herself, in certain respects. She has sabotaged her own life because of accepting the “go grrrrrrl”/don’t settle for 2nd best baby you’re too much better baby on your own Madonna/you don’t need a man/career first indoctrination she received from the age of 5 until now.

“Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur.”

CH, that really nails it.

YaReally I did a good (short) reply a few threads back but not sure it will get through. Saying I appreciate you and respectfully: this is not sour grapes. I’m cmplaining about societywide macro sociology issues. The 22 year did not reject me for better beta bux. She’s not looking for ANY beta bux until she’s 35. Then she’ll go on match.com and ask “where have all the good men gone?” My complaint is that NONE of us gets a 22 year old hot, devoted wife like my grandfather did. The 22 year old is just getting started on the carousel, not looking for ANY beta bux until she’s 35. That’s the case for almost all of them.


  • YaReally
    on May 23, 2014 at 12:37 am
    Original Link

    @Grim
    (quick disclaimer: when I’m referring to you as a beta loser who’s only providing money etc. to girls but a loser at your core etc. etc. in my examples I’m talking about whoever the “old” Grim was, not necessarily how you are now or how you’ll be in the future as you work on your shit and develop yourself down the red pill/game path, so no disrespect intended…I was a big chumpy beta loser back in the day myself lol)

    I agree with your whole comment here you wrote, about girls and their decisions. You might enjoy reading the Manhood 101 eBook if you like this topic (there’s a lot in it about how Feminism has basically fucked girls over by encouraging them to embrace chaos instead of order in their decision-making and there’s a lot of good stuff about how men are supposed to bring order to the lives of the people (women, children, lesser men, etc.) around them and the ways we can do that and how to discipline/reward productively etc.):

    http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf

    “My complaint is that NONE of us gets a 22 year old hot, devoted wife like my grandfather did. The 22 year old is just getting started on the carousel, not looking for ANY beta bux until she’s 35.”

    Ya but the thing is, and you said it yourself in your other post, your grandfather wasn’t beta bux. The culture was so different back then that the average guy was, by default, way more alpha than most manginas out there on dating sites and shit these days.

    So your grandfather was triggering in that 22yo “this guy can Provide for me AND he’s pretty alpha because he disciplines me and does manly things and has manly attitudes because we live in this era that encourages manly behavior from men instead of shaming it out of them.”

    He wasn’t some weepy whiny little bitch holding up stacks of money going “please hitch yourself to me so I can shower you with this while you roll your eyes at how unattractive I am to you for the next 60 years of your life”, which is what “beta bux” is these days and what you were (no offense, most of us were that way because our Blue Pill feminst society conditioned us to be big gay vaginas).

    Like I tend to bang around the 23yo age range, and I like to ask them about other guys and they tell me about how guys hit on them or their orbiters that chase them or even guys they like or liked at some point, and they show me text conversations with guys etc. and the shit guys are sending them is fucking embarrassing. Like beyond beta. And these guys are generally good looking and well off (most of the girls I’m with have dated way hotter/richer guys than me lol), and would be GREAT providers for them.

    But the girls want to go Eat Pray Love till they’re 35…sure, part of it is that society’s attitudes have warped to encourage girls to go off and do that, but a BIG part of it is that the offerings they have in front of them aren’t your badass grandfather who deserved a 22yo hottie devoted to him…the offerings around them are unattractive losers who can provide but are just fucking lame to the core.

    So they don’t want to reproduce with these guys or stay faithful and devoted to them or lock themselves down, even if those guys can provide for them, because they’re hoping they can find your grandfather, someone who actually gives them gina tingles AND can provide. Then at 35 they settle for the beta bux while looking for alpha fux on the side.

    If that same 22yo found a guy like your grandfather, some badass alpha who could provide, she probably WOULD devote herself and marry him. But you, at the time, weren’t offering “alpha bux”, you were offering “beta bux” and she figured she’d roll the dice and take her chances.

    Like you can’t blame society and women for this…a huge part of the blame falls on the loser guys who are hoping that if they drive a nice enough car and can provide a nice enough house for her, they can slack off and be losers in their core and she “SHOULD” logically settle for that.

    But I say fuck that. She shouldn’t settle for that anymore than you, at 25, in your prime, right as you finish med school and are about to make millions a year and just moved to some huge city like New York full of hot single women who want to fuck you, should settle for some fat chick with a shitty personality. “Well she can give me sex and devotion, so that’s good enough.” It doesn’t work like that, you would never do that. You would go hunt and try to find a hot girl who gives you sex and devotion because you’re still in your prime and that fat chick doesn’t deserve you.

    Same shit for them…some beta loser who can offer them providership doesn’t deserve them in their prime. He deserves them at 35 when they’re used up and past the wall. Until then they’re going to look for the guy like your grandfather, just like you’d be looking for a devoted hottie.



Hugging Is Beta

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Grim
on May 22, 2014 at 1:20 pm
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From the CH commandments: “Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur.”

These words are so profound and explain so much. I just had an epiphany of sorts.

A woman’s own soul is a saboteur of her own happiness. Even MSM kinda sorta agrees with the idea that women are more emotion-based and simply have certain times of every month when hormones are out of whack and she makes bad decisions and has crazy thoughts. GBFM would point out how the Bible and other great books talk about the very nature of women being “evil.” They lack a moral compass, they arguably lack the ability to truly love in the way a man loves, they are herd animals, they can only worry about their own protection (not the greater good of society or the future).

Society has failed women, failed their societywide shit test (we all know shit tests are done subconsciously), and has therefore failed men, children, families, and society. In short, women need a man to guide them and stop them from their worst instincts, exactly as CH states.

But the Gen X women have been taught for 30 years to be “strong, independent,” men are bad, women are good, etc. I came to this conclusion thinking about my ex girlfriend (again). This is not me being “sour grapes” because I don’t get to make love to her anymore. SHE is miserable. She’s absolutely miserable with how her life has turned out. She told me this, when we were together, and I have other sources that let me know this.

She is nearly 39, single, childless, only getting older and the crow’s feet more pronounced, has no money or career, and has no man, and her prospects fading fast. Her own decisions sabotaged her life! Her soul was the saboteur of herself and her relationship with me and, of course, with men she was with prior to me. I’m not the only one she didn’t marry; she has not married any of the men she’s fucked. She is a perfect specimen of Generation X Woman. Cue ZS to talk about the frankfurt school and this being their exact plan.

This is another thing to really take from this blog: it is really literally 120% useless to try to argue with a woman, either during the relationship when she’s in her crazy moments or afterwards. The hamster. They will NEVER get certain things that we men get. They just cannot get it. It is impossible to get them to agree on certain things and it is literally a waste of breath to try.

My ex GF should never have met me as she did when she was 34. She should have been married to some guy she met long before me when she was 25. And I should have been married, not divorced, from my ex wife.

Our entire society, whether “frankfurt school” caused it or not, has been set up for 30 years to get people to not be married and in families. My ex GF no doubt blew up her past relationships because of crazy shit just as she blew up ours.

Girls I don’t think I’m always right, but I really do think my ex GF blew up our relationship. Her soul is a saboteur. In the past, a man would have been able to foil her worst instincts.

Today if a man does that either in a dating relationship or after marriage, he’s “controlling” or “jealous.”

I’m not advocating what’s going on in the Islamic world, where women and children are slaves and abused, but what we had in the US 1950s — which of course the PUffed Ho crowd likes to make fun of so much — really was a proper balance for the good of society and families.

Simply put, men need society’s support and authority (law and mores) to “control women” and protect them from their worst instincts.

What I’m saying is proven by emperical fact now, not just my opinion. Just look around us. As it says on page 3 of the Bible if you believe GBFM’s take on the Adam and Eve story, women’s “instincts” are to be feral and party like Miley Cyrus and end up single and alone with cats and 50 notches when they are 35.

This is one example but it’s repeated millions of times in Gen X. I know my ex GF very very very very well. I know her inner thoughts. She’s very high IQ (good at math even) and I get it. I get that some of women’s complaints are valid. But one thing that of course she would disagree with is that I swear to God I “get” her own problems better than she does herself, in certain respects. She has sabotaged her own life because of accepting the “go grrrrrrl”/don’t settle for 2nd best baby you’re too much better baby on your own Madonna/you don’t need a man/career first indoctrination she received from the age of 5 until now.

“Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur.”

CH, that really nails it.

YaReally I did a good (short) reply a few threads back but not sure it will get through. Saying I appreciate you and respectfully: this is not sour grapes. I’m cmplaining about societywide macro sociology issues. The 22 year did not reject me for better beta bux. She’s not looking for ANY beta bux until she’s 35. Then she’ll go on match.com and ask “where have all the good men gone?” My complaint is that NONE of us gets a 22 year old hot, devoted wife like my grandfather did. The 22 year old is just getting started on the carousel, not looking for ANY beta bux until she’s 35. That’s the case for almost all of them.


  • YaReally
    on May 23, 2014 at 12:37 am
    Original Link

    @Grim
    (quick disclaimer: when I’m referring to you as a beta loser who’s only providing money etc. to girls but a loser at your core etc. etc. in my examples I’m talking about whoever the “old” Grim was, not necessarily how you are now or how you’ll be in the future as you work on your shit and develop yourself down the red pill/game path, so no disrespect intended…I was a big chumpy beta loser back in the day myself lol)

    I agree with your whole comment here you wrote, about girls and their decisions. You might enjoy reading the Manhood 101 eBook if you like this topic (there’s a lot in it about how Feminism has basically fucked girls over by encouraging them to embrace chaos instead of order in their decision-making and there’s a lot of good stuff about how men are supposed to bring order to the lives of the people (women, children, lesser men, etc.) around them and the ways we can do that and how to discipline/reward productively etc.):

    http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf

    “My complaint is that NONE of us gets a 22 year old hot, devoted wife like my grandfather did. The 22 year old is just getting started on the carousel, not looking for ANY beta bux until she’s 35.”

    Ya but the thing is, and you said it yourself in your other post, your grandfather wasn’t beta bux. The culture was so different back then that the average guy was, by default, way more alpha than most manginas out there on dating sites and shit these days.

    So your grandfather was triggering in that 22yo “this guy can Provide for me AND he’s pretty alpha because he disciplines me and does manly things and has manly attitudes because we live in this era that encourages manly behavior from men instead of shaming it out of them.”

    He wasn’t some weepy whiny little bitch holding up stacks of money going “please hitch yourself to me so I can shower you with this while you roll your eyes at how unattractive I am to you for the next 60 years of your life”, which is what “beta bux” is these days and what you were (no offense, most of us were that way because our Blue Pill feminst society conditioned us to be big gay vaginas).

    Like I tend to bang around the 23yo age range, and I like to ask them about other guys and they tell me about how guys hit on them or their orbiters that chase them or even guys they like or liked at some point, and they show me text conversations with guys etc. and the shit guys are sending them is fucking embarrassing. Like beyond beta. And these guys are generally good looking and well off (most of the girls I’m with have dated way hotter/richer guys than me lol), and would be GREAT providers for them.

    But the girls want to go Eat Pray Love till they’re 35…sure, part of it is that society’s attitudes have warped to encourage girls to go off and do that, but a BIG part of it is that the offerings they have in front of them aren’t your badass grandfather who deserved a 22yo hottie devoted to him…the offerings around them are unattractive losers who can provide but are just fucking lame to the core.

    So they don’t want to reproduce with these guys or stay faithful and devoted to them or lock themselves down, even if those guys can provide for them, because they’re hoping they can find your grandfather, someone who actually gives them gina tingles AND can provide. Then at 35 they settle for the beta bux while looking for alpha fux on the side.

    If that same 22yo found a guy like your grandfather, some badass alpha who could provide, she probably WOULD devote herself and marry him. But you, at the time, weren’t offering “alpha bux”, you were offering “beta bux” and she figured she’d roll the dice and take her chances.

    Like you can’t blame society and women for this…a huge part of the blame falls on the loser guys who are hoping that if they drive a nice enough car and can provide a nice enough house for her, they can slack off and be losers in their core and she “SHOULD” logically settle for that.

    But I say fuck that. She shouldn’t settle for that anymore than you, at 25, in your prime, right as you finish med school and are about to make millions a year and just moved to some huge city like New York full of hot single women who want to fuck you, should settle for some fat chick with a shitty personality. “Well she can give me sex and devotion, so that’s good enough.” It doesn’t work like that, you would never do that. You would go hunt and try to find a hot girl who gives you sex and devotion because you’re still in your prime and that fat chick doesn’t deserve you.

    Same shit for them…some beta loser who can offer them providership doesn’t deserve them in their prime. He deserves them at 35 when they’re used up and past the wall. Until then they’re going to look for the guy like your grandfather, just like you’d be looking for a devoted hottie.



Moments Of Alpha

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reco
on May 19, 2014 at 8:36 pm
Original Link

FR Nothing Again

So here we go. This is starting to get a bit frustrating. Lol But I know I am learning. So here was the text exchange from tonight. I followed the plan. She did not show.

Me: Hey girl meet me down at ——- at 7:30 :) 3:20 PM (just inviting her down)
Her: Try my best got into a little accident this morning 3:35 PM (felt at this point I was making progress she was not even asking me to pick her up)
Her: Some asshole smashed into me this morning. I’m fine. Just pissed 3:54 PM (white knight request)
Her: So, damage to car not my fault! Yippie, now have to get a rental tomorrow because of the douche 7:19 PM (trying to get me to chase her)
Her: Still available though. 7:31 PM (still trying)
Me: Sure come on down 7:31 PM (I invite her down)
Her: I’ll let you know. Today was a doozy 7:34 PM (more drama, yet another bad day)
Her: Back of car was smashed in. Luckily Tristan wasn’t with me 7:36 PM (drama, now car seems like it is smashed instead of little accident lol)
Her: What other day’s are u In town? Til Wednesday, I’m without my car. :( 7:58 PM (going to have her car back in two days? Thought it was smashed?)
Me: ok we can meet up on another night when things aren’t so hectic for you 10:03 PM

Sounds like a bullshit story to me. I think she is going through her rolodex to try to come up with more bullshit stuff to get me to come save her and pick her up. Because she is a “princess”. She seems to be trying all of these silly childish tactics to get me to pick her up. She is not even explicitly asking anymore which I at first thought may be progress. Just inferring she needs a ride with her latest drama story that she is the victim of. But now I am starting to think she has more in common with the 26YO crazy than I thought. You guys talk a lot about screening these girls for problems. What do you think? This is the fourth time she has flaked on me with some kind of “good” excuse. I am detecting here that maybe she is not worth the trouble? Do you think I have the wrong assessment? I am trying to analyze this objectively but it is hard to be objective.

I went to the bar and there was not a lot going on. Monday night at happy hour. Hung out there for a couple of hours. Hardly any women to speak of. Talked to a couple of people and the bartender. But not much else. Kind of disappointing. I got to get better at approaching people. I think I would next this chick if I had a better set of spinning plates and was better at approaching. Yareally your long post with the plan is still stuck in mod purgatory. lol


  • YaReally
    on May 19, 2014 at 9:32 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    “Me: ok we can meet up on another night when things aren’t so hectic for you 10:03 PM”

    Solid.

    She was baiting you over and over to drive her around and shit. But fuck that. What she EXPECTS you to do is go “wow your life is a mess, how can I help fix it??”

    But a guy with options would look at this as basically “wow your life is kind of a mess right now…you sort that out, I’ll be over here with this girl who doesn’t have so much baggage, and when you get your shit handled then we can give it another go.” which is what you basically did by 1) not asking for more details about any of her silly drama, and 2) cancelling the date abruptly but not butthurt and giving her the reason WHY (if you just say “ok I’ll make other plans”, you aren’t telling her how she can fix things with you…by saying “when things aren’t so hectic for you” or “when you’re in a better mood” or “when you can make it out to this part of town” you’re feeding her “this is how you can fix this and have another shot with me” so when she does finally come around she can say “ok my life is sorted, let’s do this!” or “ok I found a ride to that part of town when can we meet up?” etc. You’re giving her the solution).

    Unfortunately this has gone too far into drama mode so now it’s time for some tough lovin’.

    FULL radio silence till Thursday evening. Zero responses at all to anything she says even if she sends naked pics or offers “it’s wednesday i’m free, can I come suck your cock tonight???? please!! Just say yes and I’ll show up in lingerie ready to take it up the bum!!”

    Because now you’re in walawala territory where you COULD theoretically get the lay on Wednesday, but 1) she’ll probably dick you around again to see if you keep chasing and make sure she’s the princess, 2) even if you met up she would probably avoid putting out wasting your time/money, and 3) even if you could get her to meet up and even if you could get her into bed and actually bang her, you would be doing it on HER terms instead of yours which sets the frame that you chase her and follow her rules to get the prize (her pussy) VS the frame that she chases you and follows your rules to get the prize (your cock).

    For illustration purposes: the chick i had over today had to pay $20 for parking to park near my apartment and come up to bang me. She paid money to be able to suck my cock. Sure, she TRIED to get me to come to her a few times, but I held my frame and it meant passing up a few possible lays with her, but now the sex will happen on my terms, and she’s cool with that because she respects me and she sees me as high-value so to her that $20 is worth it. I’m the prize in this arrangement.

    The problem for most guys is that they want the sex NAAAAOWWWWW so they can’t pass up any possible chances for immediate pleasure for the long-term reward…usually because they don’t have other options either. You have other options, so you can pass her up right now so this is a good opportunity to practice that.

    “Sounds like a bullshit story to me. I think she is going through her rolodex to try to come up with more bullshit stuff to get me to come save her and pick her up. Because she is a “princess”. She seems to be trying all of these silly childish tactics to get me to pick her up. ”

    Yup. It’s bullshit. Sure it might’ve happened, but she’s only telling you it because she’s trying to get you to offer to rescue your little princess. It’s good that you can see all this now.

    But remember: she’s doing this not because she’s crazy like the 26yo (she MIGHT be lol, but this one is starting drama with a particular goal in mind (getting you to supplicate) VS 26yo who just starts drama for the sake of having drama in your lives).

    She’s doing this primarily because YOU allowed this frame of her being the princess to be set, by reacting to her carrot dangling (fuck I hope that post in mod shows up soon, it had great analogies and a breakdown of your txts in it showing exactly where you chased her carrot…c’mon mods help a guy out lol)

    So by withdrawing your attention, what exactly is that doing? That’s telling her “ok this guy won’t play white knight and come rescue me. Fine then, I’m the princess, if he won’t chase me then he doesn’t get the prize which is my pussy!” But at 33 there aren’t a lot of other high-value guys chasing that pussy lol There are guys chasing, but they’re losers (partly BECAUSE they chase). She may vanish for a bit or try to date one of them, but she’ll come back to you and chase you as long as you don’t budge, because you not budging is what makes her know you’re a real man.

    The good news is that on your end this is easy. You just don’t text lol Done. No effort required…hell, LESS effort required now lol

    “This is the fourth time she has flaked on me with some kind of “good” excuse. I am detecting here that maybe she is not worth the trouble? Do you think I have the wrong assessment?”

    You’re spot on, and again it’s good that you can even notice this stuff now.

    BUT, that said, it’s punishment time for her:

    - TOTAL radio silence till Thursday evening (evening because that’s when you can have a deep conversation)

    - she will probably text you Wednesday offering to meet up, ignore this, TOTAL radio silence, she needs to suffer a bit to learn that you’re willing to walk away

    - she’ll probably throw a temper tantrum at you…the severity of this tantrum will tell you how close she is to 26YO crazy. If her “tanturm” is her withdrawing and being like “ok I get it you’re mad at me :( it’s ok I understand :( :(“, she’s normal. if it’s more like “you know what fuck you then you’re such a jerk anyway I hate that stupid mole on your face fuck you I’m deleting you why won’t you respond”, then you have a full-blown 26YO crazy on your hands again lol I predict it’ll be closer to the :( :( version.

    Either way, you ignore this tantrum. Radio silence till thursday evening.

    - Thursday evening you send her a “lol sorry didn’t see your txts”

    Now here you have two options you can choose from:

    1) you can try to change her attitude, this is the point where I might send something like “I don’t know…you’ve changed. When we met you were so carefree and happy and all your txts were sweet and cute and upbeat, but lately all your txts are negative and just complaining about life and putting all your problems on me…what happened to the fun girl I went out with before? I don’t really have room in my life for negative people…maybe we can hang out down the road when you get your life sorted out a bit more, no hard feelings babe xo” This is kind of a hail-mary lol. It’ll probably get a bit of a shocked offended tantrum of some kind which you just ignore completely and don’t respond to and let her just vent…buuuuut within a week or two she should send something sweet or a nice pic or something and shape her attitude up. Depends on the girl but usually this works.

    After that, go radio silent for a few days, till, say, Sunday or Monday. Let her have a weekend without you. Give her the gift of missing you.

    or

    2) you can act like nothing is wrong and game as usual buuuuut don’t offer to meet up again and don’t take any of her invites or hints to suggest meeting up. She’s friend-zoned to you as if she was 500lbs. This is trickier because it takes her a while to figure out that something is wrong, so I like option 1 better because it gets shit handled fast. Tells her what’s wrong and how to fix it. This option 2 is a more passive approach that’s less drama but takes longer to kick in and make her change.

    Personally if I was you I would try option 1 because it’s probably something you’ve never done before and it’ll be a good learning experience about setting and enforcing your boundaries and expectations from people which is a good life lesson to learn in general.

    You can still bang her, but it sure as shit, no matter WHAT you do, even if you totally follow all her rules, it won’t be this Wednesday lol It’ll be like, next week at the earliest but probably closer to 3 or 4 weeks minimum.

    Sucks, because she seemed like an easy lay at first, but you have to understand that you fell into her frame and chased juuuust enough times for her to have gone down this route. This could have been avoided and, in the future, you’ll have a stronger frame from the start with other girls and you WILL avoid this kind of shit.

    “I think I would next this chick if I had a better set of spinning plates and was better at approaching.”

    Keep her around for the learning experience, but write her off as a possible lay for a solid month in your mind. The skills you gain from “training” her will be useful with other girls in the future.

    Like part of why I have a strong as fuck frame with this stuff is that I’ve dealt with a ton of your 26YO crazies lol So I’ve seen all the shit they do and I’ve handled it and it doesn’t faze me at all now. I actually have one girl who’s batshit off the wall crazy but I don’t tell her to fuck off and delete her number because she likes to test my frame and I know that’s good practice for me…and she gets off on me holding my frame against her silly girl drama, so it’s win/win for both of us lol


    • YaReally
      on May 20, 2014 at 7:50 am
      Original Link

      @reco
      “so will not be able to do anything with anyone in person for the rest of this week anyway. ”

      Then do total radio silence till you’re free again. That’s actually a good habit to get into. If you’re busy, ignore the girls who aren’t getting with the plan. 1) it lets you focus on the shit you need to do, 2) it gives them the gift of missing you, and 3) it helps encourage them to seize opportunities when you offer them because your time is valuable.

      She’s 33, she’s not gonna go find some other dude in 2 days to fall madly in love with and never want to bang you lol She’s surrounded by lame guys, like most girls. It’s okay to let her sweat things out for a week, she’ll still be there waiting for you ’cause the fact that you can let her sweat things out makes you higher value than the other guys and her Hypergamy wants the highest value guy.

      If she was 20, then ya, you could lose her. But at 33? You could ignore her for a month and she’d still be there lol

      “And I will keep trying to look for your comments that are trapped in the Mod from hell. lol”

      lol I’ve lost track of how many I have in mod now. :’( I wish I knew what triggered it so I could avoid doing it.

      “Dont want to go into details because of security”

      Good, don’t. They aren’t relevant anyway. In all honesty when people pour stories like this out I actually skip half their description because a lot of it is fluff lol I skip right to the stuff that’ll tell me what the situ is. Like the fact that she works 3 offices down and you guys met on a spring morning and she likes sunflowers is like, none of that matters lol

      “My prediction is there is a 50/50 chance she will meet me out for a drink if I ask. So how would you proceed? Should I tell her to meet me at —- bar and lets get a drink. Then tell her to give me her number? Or is there other groundwork I need to do?”

      Nah, you’re solid. Just go for it. She’s into ya. Just diffuse any weirdness, grab her # in isolation not in front of a bunch of people and she might have a little “oh but you’re my customer, isn’t this weird?” that you may have to frame control away. No biggie, you should be able to get her to come out for a drink.

      I recommend doing a time bridge (ie – make very specific plans “let’s grab a drink at blah place on X day at Y time” and then grab the number just to keep in touch and confirm shit). Girls find it harder to flake when they agree to something in person, VS if you just said “gimme your #” and tried to game her and make plans over txt…which you could probably DO, but a time bridge is usually more solid.

      “It sure seems like I am failing on this big time sometimes.”

      Not your fault, she has 30 years of training at this, you have a few months lol You’re doing a lot better at taking and applying advice than most new guys.

      “I am assuming there will be some kind of breakthrough at some point.”

      Yup. We all started out just like you. :) My first few years were fuckin’ rough, and I didn’t even have mentors or anything specifically helping me out, I was going at it solo and just reading other people’s shit on forums lol

      “By the way I have not heard anything from my 40YONurse since she went silent last Friday.”

      Ya, should be fine. She doesn’t txt much anyway. She just needed the confirm that you don’t think she’s a slut, shoot her a txt at the end of the week as planned and try setting something up. At 40 she might not need sex more than once or twice a month just because she might be in a general life routine where she just doesn’t have time for sex so it’s not on her mind 24/7.

      “I come to this hotel a lot on business so I will start gaming her more.”

      Try running Liam and Gambler’s laser eye-contact stuff on her if you haven’t. Might score you a free hotel room lol Careful if you mack on her tho, you don’t want to fuck up your hotel stays with awkwardness if it goes sour.


  • having a bad day
    on May 19, 2014 at 9:34 pm
    Original Link

    @reco

    “But now I am starting to think she has more in common with the 26YO crazy than I thought. You guys talk a lot about screening these girls for problems. What do you think?”

    nah…this is just garden variety beta baiting…lol…(now if she suddenly is picked up by a big black dude who thinks your stupid bc she’s sooo hot…delete her number…lol…) she just hasn’t run through her rolodex yet…and she’ll start again at the beginning bc she HAD started to work you into her frame before…lol…and remember her age…she’s right at the wall and she’s really looking for that alpha (not beta…girls settle for betas when they can’t get alphas…) provider (that she feels that she deserves…and feminism has told her is there when she needs it…lol) she’s still trying to lock you into that frame.

    remember this is happening at a subconscious level for her…just because you are starting to see these things doesn’t mean she can…lol…just try to enjoy the show and start making those predictions…lol…and congratulations on being able to start to see this stuff!…good work!

    “She is not even explicitly asking anymore which I at first thought may be progress. Just inferring she needs a ride with her latest drama story that she is the victim of.”

    there was a recent post on this very topic…lol…COTW regarding newlyaloof’s lawn incident…basically women hint at what they want and they expect you to jump up to save them without them directly asking…lol…

    it was probably a fender bender but she needs the drama…hey, she’s the princess, right?…lol…

    stay dark until YaReally’s post works its way up through Dante’s circles…lol…i’m sure it’s virtue will protect it from harm…lol…

    …and what happened to the front desk girl?…lol…


    • YaReally
      on May 20, 2014 at 6:42 am
      Original Link

      @walawala
      Solid read on why those girls resort to that stuff. It’s just how they learned to get attention and keep devotion in the past. The “I think I’m pregnant” one is common too lol. A lot of blue pill people would read us saying this and go “wow you guys are MONSTERS”, but that’s what those girls are banking on and hoping that the fear of that social pressure will make us try to white knight them.

      One of the big flags of bullshit to me is when the girl doesn’t say what’s wrong right away. She does the “omg something terrible just happened…” or “I’m in trouble…” and waits for me to ask what it is. That’s a big sign that she just wanting attention.

      That said, it’s generally not malicious it’s just all she knows and was taught. That’s why we learn to hold a strong frame and not fall into her drama, because we need to UNwire that shit in her head that says “drama will get a man’s attention” and REwire it with “drama will make him go radio silent on me…but sending him sexy pics or showing up to dates or being fun and positive and cooking for him makes him give me more attention”. That’s why we reward her at times with stuff like “you know, I was really impressed when you cooked for me…I want to take you out to dinner this time” and she’s like “omg he NEVER takes girls out to dinner!!! Ok cooking for him is huge!!!”

      This is why walawala responding to his ex, even angrily, was bad and why thrust trying to keep in touch with his ex instead of going radio silent is bad…those actions teach the girls “if you want my attention or for me to react, do crazy shit”. The girls aren’t necessarily always bad people, they’ve just been taught some really fucked up associations between their actions and getting attention. That’s why I say you CAN train a lot of them especially if they’re younger, cause I practice taming these type when I meet them (I don’t have a marriage or anything they can fuck up so I can play around a bit), but if a girl is still doing this stuff past 30, you have to consider “is this even worth my time and effort when there are other girls just as hot if not hotter who haven’t had this behavior wired into them as hard”

      I agree 100% with HABD here:

      “nah…this is just garden variety beta baiting…lol…(now if she suddenly is picked up by a big black dude who thinks your stupid bc she’s sooo hot…delete her number…lol…) she just hasn’t run through her rolodex yet…and she’ll start again at the beginning bc she HAD started to work you into her frame before…lol…and remember her age…she’s right at the wall and she’s really looking for that alpha (not beta…girls settle for betas when they can’t get alphas…) provider (that she feels that she deserves…and feminism has told her is there when she needs it…lol) she’s still trying to lock you into that frame.

      remember this is happening at a subconscious level for her…just because you are starting to see these things doesn’t mean she can…lol…just try to enjoy the show and start making those predictions…lol…and congratulations on being able to start to see this stuff!…good work!”

      A big part of why I’m not bothered by these girls and their drama is that I can see it and I can predict it so it doesn’t blindside me like it does for a lot of blue pill guys or guys who are new to the game or new to that type of behavior. I’m always a few steps ahead of these girls so for ME dealing with this really isn’t work or a big time sink or depleting my energy because I see a “babe I’m in trouble…” txt and instantly my brain is like “ok incoming drama, might have to Soft Next this one, keep an eye out for clusterB behavior” and I’m prepped for it so when she sends “there’s this guy at work who won’t leave me alone” I send “lol tell HR” and when she sends back “I can’t babe! I’m scare of–” at that point I just stop looking at my phone and go back to my work lol

      One method to help with Soft Next’ing is (esp when I was starting out) I would change their number in my phone to silent ringtone with no vibration. So if they txted unless I was looking at my phone at that exact moment I wouldn’t know they were even txting me. Highly recommend it because a lot of times you see like 10 txts and because you didn’t respond you see her run thru her Rolodex or give up on her tactic lol

      Like I have one girl (23yo) who will send:

      “I miss you”
      (1 hour later):
      “YaReally??”
      “Fine then I don’t miss you”
      (10 min later):
      “How come you ignore me all the time :(”
      (5 min later):
      “Whatever fuck you too then”
      “You’re such an asshole YaReally”
      “I’m deleting you. I don’t need ppl in my life who don’t care about me”
      (1 day later):
      “Omg YaReally look at this!! (funny meme picture)”

      Lol she does that all the time. She’s learned that the way to get a guy’s attention is to stir up drama and fake being sad mad etc but I’m the only guy it doesn’t work on. Now she’s super in love with me (she’s not really she just likes the drama of pretending she is and she IS attracted to the fact that I never react to her).

      Most guys would (rightly) be like “dude this bitch is crazy” but it all just makes me lol and it’s cute girly behavior to me. I’m the rock solid “oak tree” that’s immovable and unreactive and she’s the little “squirrel” skittering around my branches trying to get my attention. There’s a masculine/feminine energy balance to it.

      Most guys would get sucked hard into her drama (and then she loses attraction for them and she forgets about her big scary problems she was so worried about, meanwhile the guy is super invested in them and asking “but what about that creepy guy at work?? Are you ok babe??” and she forgets she even said that shit lol).

      But because I have her number on silent, by the time I see her txts often it looks like the above where she’s burned herself out and has already moved on and I’m just like “lol aw that was cute” because her little attention grab wore her out like a kid who threw a tantrum and is now fast asleep. There’s no frustration or emotional energy wasted even time wasted on my end to handle this. But it’s because I can see it coming and predict it and I follow the rules on handling it. That’s why I say it’s not really “work” when you’re good at it, the way it is when you first run into it.

      On a side note: one benefit to taming this behavior out of girls is that you know they won’t fuck other dudes. Because who the fuck else could disarm that minefield? No normal man lol her Hypergamy demands she chases the highest value guy and that’s the guy who gets her “omg i think I’m being followed” txt and responds “probably, you have a killer ass. Your stalker has good taste lol” instead of going “omg do u want me to call the police?? I can come pick you up babe are u ok?? Pls respond”

      Again these aren’t my preferred girls but these days a lot of women have been raised on shitty behavior like this because we live in a society that encourages women to act out and rewards them for it esp now that any drama they post gets 200 Likes/messages on Facebook etc. so like HABD says your girl can’t necessarily be diagnosed as a clusterB yet…what she’s doing so far is just standard garden-variety shit-testing which she thinks will work because you chomped at the carrots she dangled earlier rewarding her princess nonsense and taught her it will work.



Moments Of Alpha

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 19, 2014 at 8:36 pm
Original Link

FR Nothing Again

So here we go. This is starting to get a bit frustrating. Lol But I know I am learning. So here was the text exchange from tonight. I followed the plan. She did not show.

Me: Hey girl meet me down at ——- at 7:30 :) 3:20 PM (just inviting her down)
Her: Try my best got into a little accident this morning 3:35 PM (felt at this point I was making progress she was not even asking me to pick her up)
Her: Some asshole smashed into me this morning. I’m fine. Just pissed 3:54 PM (white knight request)
Her: So, damage to car not my fault! Yippie, now have to get a rental tomorrow because of the douche 7:19 PM (trying to get me to chase her)
Her: Still available though. 7:31 PM (still trying)
Me: Sure come on down 7:31 PM (I invite her down)
Her: I’ll let you know. Today was a doozy 7:34 PM (more drama, yet another bad day)
Her: Back of car was smashed in. Luckily Tristan wasn’t with me 7:36 PM (drama, now car seems like it is smashed instead of little accident lol)
Her: What other day’s are u In town? Til Wednesday, I’m without my car. :( 7:58 PM (going to have her car back in two days? Thought it was smashed?)
Me: ok we can meet up on another night when things aren’t so hectic for you 10:03 PM

Sounds like a bullshit story to me. I think she is going through her rolodex to try to come up with more bullshit stuff to get me to come save her and pick her up. Because she is a “princess”. She seems to be trying all of these silly childish tactics to get me to pick her up. She is not even explicitly asking anymore which I at first thought may be progress. Just inferring she needs a ride with her latest drama story that she is the victim of. But now I am starting to think she has more in common with the 26YO crazy than I thought. You guys talk a lot about screening these girls for problems. What do you think? This is the fourth time she has flaked on me with some kind of “good” excuse. I am detecting here that maybe she is not worth the trouble? Do you think I have the wrong assessment? I am trying to analyze this objectively but it is hard to be objective.

I went to the bar and there was not a lot going on. Monday night at happy hour. Hung out there for a couple of hours. Hardly any women to speak of. Talked to a couple of people and the bartender. But not much else. Kind of disappointing. I got to get better at approaching people. I think I would next this chick if I had a better set of spinning plates and was better at approaching. Yareally your long post with the plan is still stuck in mod purgatory. lol


  • YaReally
    on May 19, 2014 at 9:32 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    “Me: ok we can meet up on another night when things aren’t so hectic for you 10:03 PM”

    Solid.

    She was baiting you over and over to drive her around and shit. But fuck that. What she EXPECTS you to do is go “wow your life is a mess, how can I help fix it??”

    But a guy with options would look at this as basically “wow your life is kind of a mess right now…you sort that out, I’ll be over here with this girl who doesn’t have so much baggage, and when you get your shit handled then we can give it another go.” which is what you basically did by 1) not asking for more details about any of her silly drama, and 2) cancelling the date abruptly but not butthurt and giving her the reason WHY (if you just say “ok I’ll make other plans”, you aren’t telling her how she can fix things with you…by saying “when things aren’t so hectic for you” or “when you’re in a better mood” or “when you can make it out to this part of town” you’re feeding her “this is how you can fix this and have another shot with me” so when she does finally come around she can say “ok my life is sorted, let’s do this!” or “ok I found a ride to that part of town when can we meet up?” etc. You’re giving her the solution).

    Unfortunately this has gone too far into drama mode so now it’s time for some tough lovin’.

    FULL radio silence till Thursday evening. Zero responses at all to anything she says even if she sends naked pics or offers “it’s wednesday i’m free, can I come suck your cock tonight???? please!! Just say yes and I’ll show up in lingerie ready to take it up the bum!!”

    Because now you’re in walawala territory where you COULD theoretically get the lay on Wednesday, but 1) she’ll probably dick you around again to see if you keep chasing and make sure she’s the princess, 2) even if you met up she would probably avoid putting out wasting your time/money, and 3) even if you could get her to meet up and even if you could get her into bed and actually bang her, you would be doing it on HER terms instead of yours which sets the frame that you chase her and follow her rules to get the prize (her pussy) VS the frame that she chases you and follows your rules to get the prize (your cock).

    For illustration purposes: the chick i had over today had to pay $20 for parking to park near my apartment and come up to bang me. She paid money to be able to suck my cock. Sure, she TRIED to get me to come to her a few times, but I held my frame and it meant passing up a few possible lays with her, but now the sex will happen on my terms, and she’s cool with that because she respects me and she sees me as high-value so to her that $20 is worth it. I’m the prize in this arrangement.

    The problem for most guys is that they want the sex NAAAAOWWWWW so they can’t pass up any possible chances for immediate pleasure for the long-term reward…usually because they don’t have other options either. You have other options, so you can pass her up right now so this is a good opportunity to practice that.

    “Sounds like a bullshit story to me. I think she is going through her rolodex to try to come up with more bullshit stuff to get me to come save her and pick her up. Because she is a “princess”. She seems to be trying all of these silly childish tactics to get me to pick her up. ”

    Yup. It’s bullshit. Sure it might’ve happened, but she’s only telling you it because she’s trying to get you to offer to rescue your little princess. It’s good that you can see all this now.

    But remember: she’s doing this not because she’s crazy like the 26yo (she MIGHT be lol, but this one is starting drama with a particular goal in mind (getting you to supplicate) VS 26yo who just starts drama for the sake of having drama in your lives).

    She’s doing this primarily because YOU allowed this frame of her being the princess to be set, by reacting to her carrot dangling (fuck I hope that post in mod shows up soon, it had great analogies and a breakdown of your txts in it showing exactly where you chased her carrot…c’mon mods help a guy out lol)

    So by withdrawing your attention, what exactly is that doing? That’s telling her “ok this guy won’t play white knight and come rescue me. Fine then, I’m the princess, if he won’t chase me then he doesn’t get the prize which is my pussy!” But at 33 there aren’t a lot of other high-value guys chasing that pussy lol There are guys chasing, but they’re losers (partly BECAUSE they chase). She may vanish for a bit or try to date one of them, but she’ll come back to you and chase you as long as you don’t budge, because you not budging is what makes her know you’re a real man.

    The good news is that on your end this is easy. You just don’t text lol Done. No effort required…hell, LESS effort required now lol

    “This is the fourth time she has flaked on me with some kind of “good” excuse. I am detecting here that maybe she is not worth the trouble? Do you think I have the wrong assessment?”

    You’re spot on, and again it’s good that you can even notice this stuff now.

    BUT, that said, it’s punishment time for her:

    – TOTAL radio silence till Thursday evening (evening because that’s when you can have a deep conversation)

    – she will probably text you Wednesday offering to meet up, ignore this, TOTAL radio silence, she needs to suffer a bit to learn that you’re willing to walk away

    – she’ll probably throw a temper tantrum at you…the severity of this tantrum will tell you how close she is to 26YO crazy. If her “tanturm” is her withdrawing and being like “ok I get it you’re mad at me :( it’s ok I understand :( :(“, she’s normal. if it’s more like “you know what fuck you then you’re such a jerk anyway I hate that stupid mole on your face fuck you I’m deleting you why won’t you respond”, then you have a full-blown 26YO crazy on your hands again lol I predict it’ll be closer to the :( :( version.

    Either way, you ignore this tantrum. Radio silence till thursday evening.

    – Thursday evening you send her a “lol sorry didn’t see your txts”

    Now here you have two options you can choose from:

    1) you can try to change her attitude, this is the point where I might send something like “I don’t know…you’ve changed. When we met you were so carefree and happy and all your txts were sweet and cute and upbeat, but lately all your txts are negative and just complaining about life and putting all your problems on me…what happened to the fun girl I went out with before? I don’t really have room in my life for negative people…maybe we can hang out down the road when you get your life sorted out a bit more, no hard feelings babe xo” This is kind of a hail-mary lol. It’ll probably get a bit of a shocked offended tantrum of some kind which you just ignore completely and don’t respond to and let her just vent…buuuuut within a week or two she should send something sweet or a nice pic or something and shape her attitude up. Depends on the girl but usually this works.

    After that, go radio silent for a few days, till, say, Sunday or Monday. Let her have a weekend without you. Give her the gift of missing you.

    or

    2) you can act like nothing is wrong and game as usual buuuuut don’t offer to meet up again and don’t take any of her invites or hints to suggest meeting up. She’s friend-zoned to you as if she was 500lbs. This is trickier because it takes her a while to figure out that something is wrong, so I like option 1 better because it gets shit handled fast. Tells her what’s wrong and how to fix it. This option 2 is a more passive approach that’s less drama but takes longer to kick in and make her change.

    Personally if I was you I would try option 1 because it’s probably something you’ve never done before and it’ll be a good learning experience about setting and enforcing your boundaries and expectations from people which is a good life lesson to learn in general.

    You can still bang her, but it sure as shit, no matter WHAT you do, even if you totally follow all her rules, it won’t be this Wednesday lol It’ll be like, next week at the earliest but probably closer to 3 or 4 weeks minimum.

    Sucks, because she seemed like an easy lay at first, but you have to understand that you fell into her frame and chased juuuust enough times for her to have gone down this route. This could have been avoided and, in the future, you’ll have a stronger frame from the start with other girls and you WILL avoid this kind of shit.

    “I think I would next this chick if I had a better set of spinning plates and was better at approaching.”

    Keep her around for the learning experience, but write her off as a possible lay for a solid month in your mind. The skills you gain from “training” her will be useful with other girls in the future.

    Like part of why I have a strong as fuck frame with this stuff is that I’ve dealt with a ton of your 26YO crazies lol So I’ve seen all the shit they do and I’ve handled it and it doesn’t faze me at all now. I actually have one girl who’s batshit off the wall crazy but I don’t tell her to fuck off and delete her number because she likes to test my frame and I know that’s good practice for me…and she gets off on me holding my frame against her silly girl drama, so it’s win/win for both of us lol


    • YaReally
      on May 20, 2014 at 7:50 am
      Original Link

      @reco
      “so will not be able to do anything with anyone in person for the rest of this week anyway. ”

      Then do total radio silence till you’re free again. That’s actually a good habit to get into. If you’re busy, ignore the girls who aren’t getting with the plan. 1) it lets you focus on the shit you need to do, 2) it gives them the gift of missing you, and 3) it helps encourage them to seize opportunities when you offer them because your time is valuable.

      She’s 33, she’s not gonna go find some other dude in 2 days to fall madly in love with and never want to bang you lol She’s surrounded by lame guys, like most girls. It’s okay to let her sweat things out for a week, she’ll still be there waiting for you ’cause the fact that you can let her sweat things out makes you higher value than the other guys and her Hypergamy wants the highest value guy.

      If she was 20, then ya, you could lose her. But at 33? You could ignore her for a month and she’d still be there lol

      “And I will keep trying to look for your comments that are trapped in the Mod from hell. lol”

      lol I’ve lost track of how many I have in mod now. :'( I wish I knew what triggered it so I could avoid doing it.

      “Dont want to go into details because of security”

      Good, don’t. They aren’t relevant anyway. In all honesty when people pour stories like this out I actually skip half their description because a lot of it is fluff lol I skip right to the stuff that’ll tell me what the situ is. Like the fact that she works 3 offices down and you guys met on a spring morning and she likes sunflowers is like, none of that matters lol

      “My prediction is there is a 50/50 chance she will meet me out for a drink if I ask. So how would you proceed? Should I tell her to meet me at —- bar and lets get a drink. Then tell her to give me her number? Or is there other groundwork I need to do?”

      Nah, you’re solid. Just go for it. She’s into ya. Just diffuse any weirdness, grab her # in isolation not in front of a bunch of people and she might have a little “oh but you’re my customer, isn’t this weird?” that you may have to frame control away. No biggie, you should be able to get her to come out for a drink.

      I recommend doing a time bridge (ie – make very specific plans “let’s grab a drink at blah place on X day at Y time” and then grab the number just to keep in touch and confirm shit). Girls find it harder to flake when they agree to something in person, VS if you just said “gimme your #” and tried to game her and make plans over txt…which you could probably DO, but a time bridge is usually more solid.

      “It sure seems like I am failing on this big time sometimes.”

      Not your fault, she has 30 years of training at this, you have a few months lol You’re doing a lot better at taking and applying advice than most new guys.

      “I am assuming there will be some kind of breakthrough at some point.”

      Yup. We all started out just like you. :) My first few years were fuckin’ rough, and I didn’t even have mentors or anything specifically helping me out, I was going at it solo and just reading other people’s shit on forums lol

      “By the way I have not heard anything from my 40YONurse since she went silent last Friday.”

      Ya, should be fine. She doesn’t txt much anyway. She just needed the confirm that you don’t think she’s a slut, shoot her a txt at the end of the week as planned and try setting something up. At 40 she might not need sex more than once or twice a month just because she might be in a general life routine where she just doesn’t have time for sex so it’s not on her mind 24/7.

      “I come to this hotel a lot on business so I will start gaming her more.”

      Try running Liam and Gambler’s laser eye-contact stuff on her if you haven’t. Might score you a free hotel room lol Careful if you mack on her tho, you don’t want to fuck up your hotel stays with awkwardness if it goes sour.


  • having a bad day
    on May 19, 2014 at 9:34 pm
    Original Link

    @reco

    “But now I am starting to think she has more in common with the 26YO crazy than I thought. You guys talk a lot about screening these girls for problems. What do you think?”

    nah…this is just garden variety beta baiting…lol…(now if she suddenly is picked up by a big black dude who thinks your stupid bc she’s sooo hot…delete her number…lol…) she just hasn’t run through her rolodex yet…and she’ll start again at the beginning bc she HAD started to work you into her frame before…lol…and remember her age…she’s right at the wall and she’s really looking for that alpha (not beta…girls settle for betas when they can’t get alphas…) provider (that she feels that she deserves…and feminism has told her is there when she needs it…lol) she’s still trying to lock you into that frame.

    remember this is happening at a subconscious level for her…just because you are starting to see these things doesn’t mean she can…lol…just try to enjoy the show and start making those predictions…lol…and congratulations on being able to start to see this stuff!…good work!

    “She is not even explicitly asking anymore which I at first thought may be progress. Just inferring she needs a ride with her latest drama story that she is the victim of.”

    there was a recent post on this very topic…lol…COTW regarding newlyaloof’s lawn incident…basically women hint at what they want and they expect you to jump up to save them without them directly asking…lol…

    it was probably a fender bender but she needs the drama…hey, she’s the princess, right?…lol…

    stay dark until YaReally’s post works its way up through Dante’s circles…lol…i’m sure it’s virtue will protect it from harm…lol…

    …and what happened to the front desk girl?…lol…


    • YaReally
      on May 20, 2014 at 6:42 am
      Original Link

      @walawala
      Solid read on why those girls resort to that stuff. It’s just how they learned to get attention and keep devotion in the past. The “I think I’m pregnant” one is common too lol. A lot of blue pill people would read us saying this and go “wow you guys are MONSTERS”, but that’s what those girls are banking on and hoping that the fear of that social pressure will make us try to white knight them.

      One of the big flags of bullshit to me is when the girl doesn’t say what’s wrong right away. She does the “omg something terrible just happened…” or “I’m in trouble…” and waits for me to ask what it is. That’s a big sign that she just wanting attention.

      That said, it’s generally not malicious it’s just all she knows and was taught. That’s why we learn to hold a strong frame and not fall into her drama, because we need to UNwire that shit in her head that says “drama will get a man’s attention” and REwire it with “drama will make him go radio silent on me…but sending him sexy pics or showing up to dates or being fun and positive and cooking for him makes him give me more attention”. That’s why we reward her at times with stuff like “you know, I was really impressed when you cooked for me…I want to take you out to dinner this time” and she’s like “omg he NEVER takes girls out to dinner!!! Ok cooking for him is huge!!!”

      This is why walawala responding to his ex, even angrily, was bad and why thrust trying to keep in touch with his ex instead of going radio silent is bad…those actions teach the girls “if you want my attention or for me to react, do crazy shit”. The girls aren’t necessarily always bad people, they’ve just been taught some really fucked up associations between their actions and getting attention. That’s why I say you CAN train a lot of them especially if they’re younger, cause I practice taming these type when I meet them (I don’t have a marriage or anything they can fuck up so I can play around a bit), but if a girl is still doing this stuff past 30, you have to consider “is this even worth my time and effort when there are other girls just as hot if not hotter who haven’t had this behavior wired into them as hard”

      I agree 100% with HABD here:

      “nah…this is just garden variety beta baiting…lol…(now if she suddenly is picked up by a big black dude who thinks your stupid bc she’s sooo hot…delete her number…lol…) she just hasn’t run through her rolodex yet…and she’ll start again at the beginning bc she HAD started to work you into her frame before…lol…and remember her age…she’s right at the wall and she’s really looking for that alpha (not beta…girls settle for betas when they can’t get alphas…) provider (that she feels that she deserves…and feminism has told her is there when she needs it…lol) she’s still trying to lock you into that frame.

      remember this is happening at a subconscious level for her…just because you are starting to see these things doesn’t mean she can…lol…just try to enjoy the show and start making those predictions…lol…and congratulations on being able to start to see this stuff!…good work!”

      A big part of why I’m not bothered by these girls and their drama is that I can see it and I can predict it so it doesn’t blindside me like it does for a lot of blue pill guys or guys who are new to the game or new to that type of behavior. I’m always a few steps ahead of these girls so for ME dealing with this really isn’t work or a big time sink or depleting my energy because I see a “babe I’m in trouble…” txt and instantly my brain is like “ok incoming drama, might have to Soft Next this one, keep an eye out for clusterB behavior” and I’m prepped for it so when she sends “there’s this guy at work who won’t leave me alone” I send “lol tell HR” and when she sends back “I can’t babe! I’m scare of–” at that point I just stop looking at my phone and go back to my work lol

      One method to help with Soft Next’ing is (esp when I was starting out) I would change their number in my phone to silent ringtone with no vibration. So if they txted unless I was looking at my phone at that exact moment I wouldn’t know they were even txting me. Highly recommend it because a lot of times you see like 10 txts and because you didn’t respond you see her run thru her Rolodex or give up on her tactic lol

      Like I have one girl (23yo) who will send:

      “I miss you”
      (1 hour later):
      “YaReally??”
      “Fine then I don’t miss you”
      (10 min later):
      “How come you ignore me all the time :(”
      (5 min later):
      “Whatever fuck you too then”
      “You’re such an asshole YaReally”
      “I’m deleting you. I don’t need ppl in my life who don’t care about me”
      (1 day later):
      “Omg YaReally look at this!! (funny meme picture)”

      Lol she does that all the time. She’s learned that the way to get a guy’s attention is to stir up drama and fake being sad mad etc but I’m the only guy it doesn’t work on. Now she’s super in love with me (she’s not really she just likes the drama of pretending she is and she IS attracted to the fact that I never react to her).

      Most guys would (rightly) be like “dude this bitch is crazy” but it all just makes me lol and it’s cute girly behavior to me. I’m the rock solid “oak tree” that’s immovable and unreactive and she’s the little “squirrel” skittering around my branches trying to get my attention. There’s a masculine/feminine energy balance to it.

      Most guys would get sucked hard into her drama (and then she loses attraction for them and she forgets about her big scary problems she was so worried about, meanwhile the guy is super invested in them and asking “but what about that creepy guy at work?? Are you ok babe??” and she forgets she even said that shit lol).

      But because I have her number on silent, by the time I see her txts often it looks like the above where she’s burned herself out and has already moved on and I’m just like “lol aw that was cute” because her little attention grab wore her out like a kid who threw a tantrum and is now fast asleep. There’s no frustration or emotional energy wasted even time wasted on my end to handle this. But it’s because I can see it coming and predict it and I follow the rules on handling it. That’s why I say it’s not really “work” when you’re good at it, the way it is when you first run into it.

      On a side note: one benefit to taming this behavior out of girls is that you know they won’t fuck other dudes. Because who the fuck else could disarm that minefield? No normal man lol her Hypergamy demands she chases the highest value guy and that’s the guy who gets her “omg i think I’m being followed” txt and responds “probably, you have a killer ass. Your stalker has good taste lol” instead of going “omg do u want me to call the police?? I can come pick you up babe are u ok?? Pls respond”

      Again these aren’t my preferred girls but these days a lot of women have been raised on shitty behavior like this because we live in a society that encourages women to act out and rewards them for it esp now that any drama they post gets 200 Likes/messages on Facebook etc. so like HABD says your girl can’t necessarily be diagnosed as a clusterB yet…what she’s doing so far is just standard garden-variety shit-testing which she thinks will work because you chomped at the carrots she dangled earlier rewarding her princess nonsense and taught her it will work.



The Problem With Sex Surveys

Original Link

via Heartiste

Grim
on May 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm
Original Link

Yep. These facts are simply obvious and can be “derived” by any person with an average IQ just by observing the world.

In the 1950s, our 25-year-old average woman:

1. was thin and did her best to be pretty and pleasing to her man

2. was married to her first partner, who courted her starting in high school or at age 19 or so (her only prior sexual experience prior to her husband might have been fooling around in the back of a car or under the bleachers at the high school football game)

3. had lots of sex with her one and only husband.

In today’s world, almost everyone, even hot women, most men, and even all but the TOP YaReally players, endures dry spells that are longer than happily married couples had from the age of 20-35 back in the 1950s and even 1960s and 70s (for those who were married).

The beta strategy of settling for more overall sex (with one woman) is actually a sound strategy, if the woman will cooperate…… but it’s risking divorce theft after 5 to 7 years in today’s world where the divorce fantasy is whispered into her ear by her friends and shouted at her with a megaphone by MSM TV and media.


  • Scray
    on May 19, 2014 at 4:54 pm
    Original Link

    ‘ had lots of sex with her one and only husband.’

    I don’t understand why you think this is a given. Just because society pressured women into marrying, by and large, betas != women were ever happy or content with betas.


    • YaReally
      on May 21, 2014 at 12:02 pm
      Original Link

      @Grim
      “I posted about how this young pretty girl blew me off and he was like “what do you offer her? she’s in her prime,” but he was thinking only of the muh dick get laid strategy. Actually, I’m beta enough that what I offer her is MARRIAGE if only she’d be nice to me.”

      What you’re saying is the equivalent of a fat chick saying “why doesn’t Brad Pitt want to fuck me?? Sure I’m fat and disgusting but I’m offering SEX. God, if only he’d be attracted to me he could get laid!”

      You don’t want sex from a fat chick, cause you can get sex from better. She doesn’t want your beta bucks because she can get that from better.



The Problem With Sex Surveys

Original Link

via Heartiste

Grim
on May 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm
Original Link

Yep. These facts are simply obvious and can be “derived” by any person with an average IQ just by observing the world.

In the 1950s, our 25-year-old average woman:

1. was thin and did her best to be pretty and pleasing to her man

2. was married to her first partner, who courted her starting in high school or at age 19 or so (her only prior sexual experience prior to her husband might have been fooling around in the back of a car or under the bleachers at the high school football game)

3. had lots of sex with her one and only husband.

In today’s world, almost everyone, even hot women, most men, and even all but the TOP YaReally players, endures dry spells that are longer than happily married couples had from the age of 20-35 back in the 1950s and even 1960s and 70s (for those who were married).

The beta strategy of settling for more overall sex (with one woman) is actually a sound strategy, if the woman will cooperate…… but it’s risking divorce theft after 5 to 7 years in today’s world where the divorce fantasy is whispered into her ear by her friends and shouted at her with a megaphone by MSM TV and media.


  • Scray
    on May 19, 2014 at 4:54 pm
    Original Link

    ‘ had lots of sex with her one and only husband.’

    I don’t understand why you think this is a given. Just because society pressured women into marrying, by and large, betas != women were ever happy or content with betas.


    • YaReally
      on May 21, 2014 at 12:02 pm
      Original Link

      @Grim
      “I posted about how this young pretty girl blew me off and he was like “what do you offer her? she’s in her prime,” but he was thinking only of the muh dick get laid strategy. Actually, I’m beta enough that what I offer her is MARRIAGE if only she’d be nice to me.”

      What you’re saying is the equivalent of a fat chick saying “why doesn’t Brad Pitt want to fuck me?? Sure I’m fat and disgusting but I’m offering SEX. God, if only he’d be attracted to me he could get laid!”

      You don’t want sex from a fat chick, cause you can get sex from better. She doesn’t want your beta bucks because she can get that from better.



Orca’s Razor

Original Link

via Heartiste

Grim
on May 19, 2014 at 1:28 pm
Original Link

CH, YaReally:

Would you opine that even a 30 year old single mother on eharmony (the marriage site where they are REALLY looking for beta bux) is up for becoming a fuck buddy if my game were tight enough?

Because it’s like they EXPECT you are expecting to be beta provider by being on eharmony.

I have two HB10s (they are stunning, physically) who are interested in me (one is 28 and the other 30 years old), both claim to be very Catholic (lzozoozozlzo other guys got to impregnate them outside of marriage (well one was married but got divorced)but new beta provider must wait for marriage) and openly state they are looking for a husband.

Is it possible to game them? Like they expect dinnerview dates. I flat told one I don’t do dinnerviews and she seems shocked. You would not waste your time, but remember I don’t go out much and don’t meet people anymore other than online.

Met the first one and just walked around talked.. I need to kino big time on the next meeting. I don’t know if she’ll be shocked like that Tyler video because I’m a provider or will she be pleasantly surprised and get the twinkle in her eye?


  • Scray
    on May 19, 2014 at 1:49 pm
    Original Link

    Lol your game does not have to be that tight to make a single mother a FB. They crave anything that even resembles alpha because they want to feel desirable. Most of the guys who give them attention are startlingly/nauseatingly beta.

    ‘ Like they expect dinnerview dates.’

    The single mom — aka she who will not be named — from last fall, I did none of that with. So….

    If I were you, don’t even approach or interact with them with that frame. Go hard alpha. It’ll remind them of when they were younger and unsaddled with children I bet.


    • YaReally
      on May 19, 2014 at 9:02 pm
      Original Link

      @Grim
      Providers and Lovers do not offer the same thing to women, so they aren’t competing against eachother. 99% of guys she’s talking to are offering Provider shit. Be the guy who’s offering Lover shit and you aren’t even competing in the same race as them. I don’t have a car or money or jacked looks or anything…most of the girls I’m with have dated and are orbited by and regularly hit on by guys who have all that shit. Why do they go for me (and usually keep those guys on the side because hey, free presents, and they don’t even have to put out, these guys will drop ridiculous cash on them just for a bit of attention lol)? Because I’m offering something none of those guys is offering: fun, flirting, a range of emotions, and good sex. I’m not running the same race as them, so they literally aren’t competition for me.

      It’s not about being a “loser”, it’s about understanding what women really value and providing THAT instead of what mainstream social conditioning has told you women value and trying to compete with all these guys at Providing that (a competition you can’t win because there will always be another guy who’s richer, taller, better-looking, has a nicer car, etc. than you. Always).

      She does NEED that other shit, but there are dozens of guys offering her that. None of those guys is offering her a hot sexy fantasy adventure.

      Take yourself out of the Provider race and run the Lover race, because you have basically no competition there…feminism and mainstream social conditioning has made damn sure of that lol


  • YaReally
    on May 19, 2014 at 7:53 pm
    Original Link

    @Grim
    Will post more about competing with Provider guys some other time (hint: I’m going to be fucking a girl (cool chick actually, I dig her) in the back of a BMW one of her orbiters loans her to drive now and then because he has a gay orbiter crush on her and takes her on dates to fancy places where he buys her and her friends $1000 bottles of liquor and shit. She told me he’s letting her drive it around and I txted “you know we’re going to be banging in the back seat of that, right?” and she loves it. P.S. I don’t even own a car lol)

    The key is that she doesn’t expect all that expensive shit from me, because I’m not a Provider type to her. So when I don’t Provide it, that doesn’t dry her pussy up. She doesn’t expect it from me. She may one day let one of these guys be her long-term Provider, but she’ll never fuck them the way she fucks me because they are, by the very act of supplicating so hard to her, less attractive than me.

    Why are these girls on eHarmony trying to screen you as a Provider? Because you’re on a site that’s basically called “find-a-provider-beta.com” lol

    If you were in a bar dressed like a nerd and nerds were approaching a girl all night long and when you approached she screened you as if you were a nerd it’s like, well ya, ’cause you look like a nerd so they categorize you. Now if they glanced at you again and you were Brad Pitt in a nerd outfit, would they fuck you? Ya, of course. They may want one of those nerds as a Provider, but you aren’t playing the same game those guys are.

    That’s a big prob with online dating is the girls are automatically in “screening for the best Provider” mode and all the guys play into it.

    So right from the start you have to separate yourself from the rest of those guys.

    I like to “flip the script” and screen/qualify the girls extra hard. “You’re not crazy are you? How many cats do you have? You’re not planning our wedding already are you? I knew you were a Stage 5 clinger lol” That kind of shit, where they’re like “wait, I’m supposed to be screening him!! He must be high-value if he’s screening me”.

    I also like to AMOG the rest of the guys on the dating site. “How have the creepers on here been so far? What’s the creepiest message you’ve gotten so far (besides mine obviously lol)? I was going to just send a pic of my dick but I’m pretty sure you already have an Inbox full of those” etc.

    Those two mindsets should get you far. Don’t do dinner interviews lol or agree to do them and then just completely change the plan once she shows up. Be like “okay let’s go” and take her to a lounge near your place where you can game her and extract.

    Don’t let them set the frame. The website itself encourages the idea that it’s the women screening the men, don’t fall into that.



Orca’s Razor

Original Link

via Heartiste

Grim
on May 19, 2014 at 1:28 pm
Original Link

CH, YaReally:

Would you opine that even a 30 year old single mother on eharmony (the marriage site where they are REALLY looking for beta bux) is up for becoming a fuck buddy if my game were tight enough?

Because it’s like they EXPECT you are expecting to be beta provider by being on eharmony.

I have two HB10s (they are stunning, physically) who are interested in me (one is 28 and the other 30 years old), both claim to be very Catholic (lzozoozozlzo other guys got to impregnate them outside of marriage (well one was married but got divorced)but new beta provider must wait for marriage) and openly state they are looking for a husband.

Is it possible to game them? Like they expect dinnerview dates. I flat told one I don’t do dinnerviews and she seems shocked. You would not waste your time, but remember I don’t go out much and don’t meet people anymore other than online.

Met the first one and just walked around talked.. I need to kino big time on the next meeting. I don’t know if she’ll be shocked like that Tyler video because I’m a provider or will she be pleasantly surprised and get the twinkle in her eye?


  • Scray
    on May 19, 2014 at 1:49 pm
    Original Link

    Lol your game does not have to be that tight to make a single mother a FB. They crave anything that even resembles alpha because they want to feel desirable. Most of the guys who give them attention are startlingly/nauseatingly beta.

    ‘ Like they expect dinnerview dates.’

    The single mom — aka she who will not be named — from last fall, I did none of that with. So….

    If I were you, don’t even approach or interact with them with that frame. Go hard alpha. It’ll remind them of when they were younger and unsaddled with children I bet.


    • YaReally
      on May 19, 2014 at 9:02 pm
      Original Link

      @Grim
      Providers and Lovers do not offer the same thing to women, so they aren’t competing against eachother. 99% of guys she’s talking to are offering Provider shit. Be the guy who’s offering Lover shit and you aren’t even competing in the same race as them. I don’t have a car or money or jacked looks or anything…most of the girls I’m with have dated and are orbited by and regularly hit on by guys who have all that shit. Why do they go for me (and usually keep those guys on the side because hey, free presents, and they don’t even have to put out, these guys will drop ridiculous cash on them just for a bit of attention lol)? Because I’m offering something none of those guys is offering: fun, flirting, a range of emotions, and good sex. I’m not running the same race as them, so they literally aren’t competition for me.

      It’s not about being a “loser”, it’s about understanding what women really value and providing THAT instead of what mainstream social conditioning has told you women value and trying to compete with all these guys at Providing that (a competition you can’t win because there will always be another guy who’s richer, taller, better-looking, has a nicer car, etc. than you. Always).

      She does NEED that other shit, but there are dozens of guys offering her that. None of those guys is offering her a hot sexy fantasy adventure.

      Take yourself out of the Provider race and run the Lover race, because you have basically no competition there…feminism and mainstream social conditioning has made damn sure of that lol


  • YaReally
    on May 19, 2014 at 7:53 pm
    Original Link

    @Grim
    Will post more about competing with Provider guys some other time (hint: I’m going to be fucking a girl (cool chick actually, I dig her) in the back of a BMW one of her orbiters loans her to drive now and then because he has a gay orbiter crush on her and takes her on dates to fancy places where he buys her and her friends $1000 bottles of liquor and shit. She told me he’s letting her drive it around and I txted “you know we’re going to be banging in the back seat of that, right?” and she loves it. P.S. I don’t even own a car lol)

    The key is that she doesn’t expect all that expensive shit from me, because I’m not a Provider type to her. So when I don’t Provide it, that doesn’t dry her pussy up. She doesn’t expect it from me. She may one day let one of these guys be her long-term Provider, but she’ll never fuck them the way she fucks me because they are, by the very act of supplicating so hard to her, less attractive than me.

    Why are these girls on eHarmony trying to screen you as a Provider? Because you’re on a site that’s basically called “find-a-provider-beta.com” lol

    If you were in a bar dressed like a nerd and nerds were approaching a girl all night long and when you approached she screened you as if you were a nerd it’s like, well ya, ’cause you look like a nerd so they categorize you. Now if they glanced at you again and you were Brad Pitt in a nerd outfit, would they fuck you? Ya, of course. They may want one of those nerds as a Provider, but you aren’t playing the same game those guys are.

    That’s a big prob with online dating is the girls are automatically in “screening for the best Provider” mode and all the guys play into it.

    So right from the start you have to separate yourself from the rest of those guys.

    I like to “flip the script” and screen/qualify the girls extra hard. “You’re not crazy are you? How many cats do you have? You’re not planning our wedding already are you? I knew you were a Stage 5 clinger lol” That kind of shit, where they’re like “wait, I’m supposed to be screening him!! He must be high-value if he’s screening me”.

    I also like to AMOG the rest of the guys on the dating site. “How have the creepers on here been so far? What’s the creepiest message you’ve gotten so far (besides mine obviously lol)? I was going to just send a pic of my dick but I’m pretty sure you already have an Inbox full of those” etc.

    Those two mindsets should get you far. Don’t do dinner interviews lol or agree to do them and then just completely change the plan once she shows up. Be like “okay let’s go” and take her to a lounge near your place where you can game her and extract.

    Don’t let them set the frame. The website itself encourages the idea that it’s the women screening the men, don’t fall into that.



Orca’s Razor

Original Link

via Heartiste

Will
on May 19, 2014 at 1:50 pm
Original Link

And @YAREALLY

I’ve learned a lot from you and you’re posts make sense.

But if youre so good at gaming (and you’re posts speak with a ton of wisdom)….why don’t you have a HB 9 girlfriend for the long haul?

I get that you can game more variety and hook up with a higher variety of girls. But that takes so much time and energy when you have personal careers/goals in mind.

The HB 9 long haul girl is my goal and I’ve had quite a difficult time with it (even having been through 4+ relationships with hb9s). And I did fuck up majorly not even knowing anything about how girls worked.

But I still find that it is very difficult long hauling the 19-23 party years hb 8-9s


  • YaReally
    on May 19, 2014 at 8:08 pm
    Original Link

    @Will
    “I’ve learned a lot from you and you’re posts make sense. ”

    Glad to be of help!

    “But if youre so good at gaming (and you’re posts speak with a ton of wisdom)….why don’t you have a HB 9 girlfriend for the long haul?”

    Don’t want one. I get bored of the same girl and the same vagina. I like my days unpredictable and exciting, and my sex life full of variety. I also have no desire to do relationship shit like sit on a couch getting fat watching reality TV together all the time and ignoring my buddies etc. to just curl up on a couch with a girl every weekend. I have work shit to do and going out and macking on girls is exciting and fun to me.

    Put it this way: What do I get out of a long-term girlfriend that I can’t get out of 3-5 solid fuckbuddies and a few randoms? Like really, what benefit is there? I get all the fun parts of relationships (sex, flirting, dates, friendship, cuddling, girls cooking for me or surprising me with presents and dressing up when they meet up with me etc.) without any of the lame shit (fighting, her witholding sex, having to listen to her bitch about work and all her problems, her getting slowly fatter over time, routine boring same sex every night, her getting older and uglier (lol), etc.)

    Also GFs tend to hinder your goals not support them. No girl has ever said “please spend MORE time at work and LESS time with me!” It’s always “why don’t you make time for me?? come lay down with me…come be with me, you don’t need to work tonight. You don’t need to go to the gym. I LIKE you with a little meat on your bones. Just come lie down with me I’m so sad today…” lol Fuckbuddies I can be like “no, fuck off, I have work to do”.

    I also haven’t hit my game peak yet. There’s so much more I want to do in terms of personal goals and my bucketlist in the game.

    Hell, I’m still exploring harem management. I see the ideal for me when I get older being a Primary long-term GF, with a couple regular Secondary FBs on the side, then randoms now and then. That’s a happy life for me lol But I still have some shit to learn about how to make that work long-term.

    “But that takes so much time and energy when you have personal careers/goals in mind.”

    Nah. I’m good at time management. I work and bang fuckbuddies (or go on Day2s to create new fuckbuddies) during the week, and I go out on the weekends with my buddy to go meet more girls. Easy.

    The prob a lot of guys have is that they get caught up in all the gay drama younger girls throw at them so it feels like it takes a lot of time and energy. A girl sent me txts today telling me she loves me, followed by me not responding (had another girl over lol), then her sending another txt saying fine she hates me and she’s deleting me. Is she really going to delete me? No, I’ll shoot her a “lol” around midnight and she’s back into chasing mode. But a lot of guys will respond to that first txt and her next txt and try to cheer her up and make her not mad anymore etc. But I know it’s all just silly girl shit and she’ll be happy as soon as I give her a little attention.

    But this is all just me. Different strokes for different folks. Some guys just want a long-term GF out of the game and that’s cool. Just make sure that the reason you want one is because she’s cool and you KNOW she’s high-quality and better than the rest, and not because you’re scared to be alone or tired of gaming.

    If I met a girl who fuckin blew my mind, in and out of bed, was fun and unpredictable sharp and witty sexy as fuck loved cooking for me and dolling herself up daily and was all positive and happy and awesome 24/7 and made me think “wow, I don’t even WANT to go meet other girls, this one is amazing”, sure I’d probably settle down with her.

    But unlike the guys who’ve been brainwashed by Disney to think that EVERY girl is that high quality and ignore all their faults, I have a more realistic view of how rare that magical unicorn is, and I’m not in a rush to find her cause this is all pretty fun lol



Orca’s Razor

Original Link

via Heartiste

Will
on May 19, 2014 at 1:50 pm
Original Link

And @YAREALLY

I’ve learned a lot from you and you’re posts make sense.

But if youre so good at gaming (and you’re posts speak with a ton of wisdom)….why don’t you have a HB 9 girlfriend for the long haul?

I get that you can game more variety and hook up with a higher variety of girls. But that takes so much time and energy when you have personal careers/goals in mind.

The HB 9 long haul girl is my goal and I’ve had quite a difficult time with it (even having been through 4+ relationships with hb9s). And I did fuck up majorly not even knowing anything about how girls worked.

But I still find that it is very difficult long hauling the 19-23 party years hb 8-9s


  • YaReally
    on May 19, 2014 at 8:08 pm
    Original Link

    @Will
    “I’ve learned a lot from you and you’re posts make sense. ”

    Glad to be of help!

    “But if youre so good at gaming (and you’re posts speak with a ton of wisdom)….why don’t you have a HB 9 girlfriend for the long haul?”

    Don’t want one. I get bored of the same girl and the same vagina. I like my days unpredictable and exciting, and my sex life full of variety. I also have no desire to do relationship shit like sit on a couch getting fat watching reality TV together all the time and ignoring my buddies etc. to just curl up on a couch with a girl every weekend. I have work shit to do and going out and macking on girls is exciting and fun to me.

    Put it this way: What do I get out of a long-term girlfriend that I can’t get out of 3-5 solid fuckbuddies and a few randoms? Like really, what benefit is there? I get all the fun parts of relationships (sex, flirting, dates, friendship, cuddling, girls cooking for me or surprising me with presents and dressing up when they meet up with me etc.) without any of the lame shit (fighting, her witholding sex, having to listen to her bitch about work and all her problems, her getting slowly fatter over time, routine boring same sex every night, her getting older and uglier (lol), etc.)

    Also GFs tend to hinder your goals not support them. No girl has ever said “please spend MORE time at work and LESS time with me!” It’s always “why don’t you make time for me?? come lay down with me…come be with me, you don’t need to work tonight. You don’t need to go to the gym. I LIKE you with a little meat on your bones. Just come lie down with me I’m so sad today…” lol Fuckbuddies I can be like “no, fuck off, I have work to do”.

    I also haven’t hit my game peak yet. There’s so much more I want to do in terms of personal goals and my bucketlist in the game.

    Hell, I’m still exploring harem management. I see the ideal for me when I get older being a Primary long-term GF, with a couple regular Secondary FBs on the side, then randoms now and then. That’s a happy life for me lol But I still have some shit to learn about how to make that work long-term.

    “But that takes so much time and energy when you have personal careers/goals in mind.”

    Nah. I’m good at time management. I work and bang fuckbuddies (or go on Day2s to create new fuckbuddies) during the week, and I go out on the weekends with my buddy to go meet more girls. Easy.

    The prob a lot of guys have is that they get caught up in all the gay drama younger girls throw at them so it feels like it takes a lot of time and energy. A girl sent me txts today telling me she loves me, followed by me not responding (had another girl over lol), then her sending another txt saying fine she hates me and she’s deleting me. Is she really going to delete me? No, I’ll shoot her a “lol” around midnight and she’s back into chasing mode. But a lot of guys will respond to that first txt and her next txt and try to cheer her up and make her not mad anymore etc. But I know it’s all just silly girl shit and she’ll be happy as soon as I give her a little attention.

    But this is all just me. Different strokes for different folks. Some guys just want a long-term GF out of the game and that’s cool. Just make sure that the reason you want one is because she’s cool and you KNOW she’s high-quality and better than the rest, and not because you’re scared to be alone or tired of gaming.

    If I met a girl who fuckin blew my mind, in and out of bed, was fun and unpredictable sharp and witty sexy as fuck loved cooking for me and dolling herself up daily and was all positive and happy and awesome 24/7 and made me think “wow, I don’t even WANT to go meet other girls, this one is amazing”, sure I’d probably settle down with her.

    But unlike the guys who’ve been brainwashed by Disney to think that EVERY girl is that high quality and ignore all their faults, I have a more realistic view of how rare that magical unicorn is, and I’m not in a rush to find her cause this is all pretty fun lol



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on May 17, 2014 at 11:48 am
Original Link

Both comments are very insightful and corroborate one another.

I again share my own experiences with my crazy ex gf.

Her need for drama was what our entire relationship was predicated on.

I didn’t realize I was caving into it but by arguing with her, by calling her out, by blasting her and challenging her nonsense, I was making her happy by giving her a stick to later hit me with.

Case and point: she broke up with me two days before a massive event that she had helped me plan and promote. She’d lit the fuse two weeks earlier by going out on a birthday dinner with a “friend” who I know asked her out on a “date”. She didn’t tell me, I asked who she went out with. She said “XXXX”. I realized the guy had no clue we were together. So I asked, “Did you tell him we were together?” Her: “He didn’t ask”…

I accused her of cheating…in other words, I took the bait.

She then called me “crazy” saying “He’s just a friend”…and used my anger at this to break up with me…just two days before my big event.

All perfectly timed to 1) manipulate me into reacting 2) giving her to perfect timing to manipulate me into begging her for either forgiveness or to stay—neither of which I did at the time. The motive for all this remains unclear except that it prompted me to read all I could on Borderline and Cluster B behaviours and I read many posts echoing this exact same scenario with other guys.

Then she texted me all week as though it was all normal–I ignored. Then she got even more angry and didn’t show up at any of the events and wrote a nasty note asking me to remove her name from a Facebook group where I’d publicly thanked everyone.

The craziness continued with her later blaming me for abandoning her and “rejecting” her–after she broke up with me.

I caught her in a lie and cut off all contact for 4 months until I was more or less ok with the whole break-up. Today she’s still pissed at me and after I re-engaged her a few weeks ago— her hamster is in over-drive and she’s actively ignoring me.except I don’t really care anymore. It’s now kind of like “If a Borderline falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear her….is what she says having any effect?”

I share this story because honestly…I would never have thought 2-3 moves ahead with any action, i’d be much more straightforward. I’m a man.

You can see how well-executed everything was until it all back-fired when I stopped playing along. She went into anger and panic mode.

These types of drama queens stop being fun.

I now game girls who deserve it.


  • thrust
    on May 18, 2014 at 2:55 am
    Original Link

    thank you, wala.

    I’d like to go into detail on the ongoings with my ex – but its too pathetic, and i feel like a plum for texting her today saying “i have some free time @ 9 sunday night. swing by if you can..”

    she texted back “I’m in ____ this weekend, I’m home Monday though!”

    i txted “monday could work, ill get back to you”

    so i tell my buddy this – he then busted out instagram and showed me a pic of a group pic of all of them – half guys half girls -one, a previous fuck and two, a gut she said she doesnt hang out with anymore..

    since i dont have instagram i checked her pics and came across a recent one with 2 of her guyfriends looking wasted/high etc with bananas near their mouths with this title like “we went bananas last night”

    i feel like such a fucking plum texting her – investing in her, and having my emotions completely rattled by this shit.

    ive never felt so raw before.


    • YaReally
      on May 20, 2014 at 6:50 am
      Original Link

      @thrust
      Lol that’s rough but completely expected. She has learned to treat you like shit and the worst she treats you the more you’ll chase and the more it encourages her to treat you like shit and dangle those carrots.

      @walawala
      Ya that’s the thing is it’s not that you suck thrust. You’re not a shitty person anymore than someone who’s addicted to alcohol or eating bad food is a shitty person. You’re just addicted to her and it’s hard to kick the habit.

      But just like an alcoholic won’t get sober by having a drink and just like a fatty won’t lose weight by eating cupcakes, you have to quit your addiction. No one else can do it for you. You have to go to those AA meetings and vent your shit and get your friends to help support you and pull yourself out of it.

      Cause she’ll keep offering you alcohol and cupcakes. You’ve taught her that you can’t resist them.


  • thrust
    on May 18, 2014 at 1:34 pm
    Original Link

    quality comment, wala.


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 2:15 pm
      Original Link

      @thrust
      “look, I don’t have any other options…so uhhh would you take pity on me, and out of pity let me touch your vagina once in a while? sure, sure, lead me on a bunch and play some headgames and send screencaps of our conversations to your other guy friends to lol at me behind my back, that’s fine, I’m pretty desperate here.

      Then when winter comes, because I wasted the entire summer to maybe stick it in you 2 or 3 times when you didn’t happen to flake on me and send me crying into my pillow before typing out frustrated internet rants, I can spend the winter alone. Because I didn’t meet any other girls, because you kept me so consumed in your drama, because that’s what girls like you do when a guy like me is clearly addicted to you.

      Then I can REALLY get depressed because it’s cold out and no one wants to go out and I can just sit in my room and hope that maybe you text me at some point. Maybe try some online dating because despite being a badass alpha male bouncer, I’m scared to talk to the cute girls I see around me all day and mack on them instead of chasing you.”

      This is a summer you could be using to get your shit together and meet better girls. Other girls can fuck as good as she can, minus the drama. Sorry for the tough love, but you’re addicted to a shitty girl who’s going to just keep stringing you along. Seen it a dozen times and your situ is no more special a snowflake than it was for those dozen other guys.

      You’re better than that yo. If anything, flake on her. Change gyms. She will haunt you all summer because tooling you is funny to her. Like, you have to understand that. I should post the text screencaps girls send me of guys who give them ultimatums and chase them around and fall into their drama. They LAUGH at these guys yo.

      Don’t be those guys. Cut yourself off the drug, cold turkey, you can’t handle “doses”. Like, you are too invested and not strong enough (no offense) to handle doses of her. And you don’t have enough else going on to handle doses of her because your brain doesn’t WANT to move on.

      You have one-itis and it’s gonna’ waste your summer if you keep in contact with her. Cold-turkey that shit!


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 5:51 pm
      Original Link

      @thrust
      Aaaand here comes the bitch-slap, sorry in advance but I’m sure you can handle it.

      “I have other options. lol c’mon Ya – not every asshole on here is a beta plum.”

      Mentally, you DON’T have options. I can go out and stick my dick in a 3/10 warpig tonight, but if she isn’t equally as hot, fun amazing, sexy etc. as the girl who can get me to freak out just appearing at my gym at the same time as me, I don’t ACTUALLY have options.

      “i havent told you all the “good” that comes with her being madly attracted to me.”

      Let’s review:

      “needless to say i got sucked back into it when i was drinking at the same bar she was.. and bam, 3 weeks later i explode again in a post-sex drunken take on her hanging with a skid row dealer – she made the excuse saying she was only there to pick up her gf – oh, and have the dealer play a song for her on his guitar. ”

      - sucks you into her drama
      - follows you around to suck you into her drama (showing up at your gym/bars)
      - has you so emotionally wound-up and invested in her that you explode on her
      - hangs with skid row dealers who play songs for her on their guitar

      And:

      “Then she brings up guyfriends etc – throughout our entire relationship, I know she lived a double life. I only saw one side of her – her side with me – not the crazy wild party slut coke whore that she doesn’t display to me.”

      - brings up other guys to make you jealous and trigger your emotional rages, on purpose, she knows exactly what it does to you and gets off on it
      - is a wild party slut coke whore

      And:

      “her “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to end that to you. I was overlooking our messages and didnt switch convos..””

      - there’s that thing where she tries to make you jealous because it’s entertaining to her

      Also you’re fucking her without a condom. That seems wise lol

      And how have you handled it so far:

      ” i gave her options a few weeks ago:

      either 1. we try this out again on better terms/boundaries, 2. i fuck you and you dont ask me about my life and i dont give a shit about yours 3. no contact

      she txted me maybe a day or 2 after that – i said sorry not gonna chill, have you made your mind up yet..”

      So you made an ultimatum and then “got sucked back into it” and showed her that your word doesn’t mean shit and you say things and don’t actually follow thru with them (just like you said to us “cold turkey. my own fault.” and “this is day 1 i guess. and she will text me. all i have to do is ignore it.”, which you didn’t do).

      You didn’t “get sucked back into it”. You’re not some helpless leaf blowing in the wind. You’re a man who’s made some bad decision and will continue to make them until you accept that you have a problem. You actively chose to let yourself get consumed by her drama. Because your judgement is compromised. Because you are too emotionally invested in her (aka addicted) to be able to handle doses of her.

      You may also be addicted to drama and get off on it. Which is fine, but if that’s the case, you should know that about yourself so you can make sure it doesn’t fuck you over.

      But you can’t see this and will probably just think I’m an asshole who doesn’t “get it”, just like all the other guys who’ve been thru your exact same situation and thinks no one “gets it”. “it’s different”. It’s not, the only thing that’s different is that it’s personally relevant to you.

      You are an alcoholic hanging out at a bar or a fat chick hanging out in a bakery. No one’s saying you suck, but you are not mentally tough enough to sit beside that metaphorical glass of Jack Daniel’s and not take a sip right now.

      That’s why you haven’t just deleted or blocked her number like we’ve told you to. You can’t because you’re not making rational decisions. Because you have one-itis and it’s fucking with your head, and you don’t have enough quality options to avoid getting sucked into her shit.

      “my offer is: fuck buddy, no more than twice a week, no sleepovers (she always sleeps over) and she cant fuck any other guys because 1. i dont wear a condom and 2. if you fuck other guys i wont fuck you. take it or leave it.”

      Logically offering an ultimatum will totally work. We all know women stick to their word and make decisions and agreements based in logic. A girl who enjoys feeding you drama (see all the stuff I quoted up above) will definitely not say one thing and do the complete opposite. She certainly wouldn’t want to piss you off, that’s why she doesn’t bring up other guys around you…OH NO WAIT. lol

      I’m sure she’ll tell you exactly what you want to hear. And then do whatever she wants anyway.

      Also wrap your tool dumbass. What are you even thinking?? You’re a BOUNCER…you literally see girls fucking random guys every night you work, and you’re fucking a “wild party slut coke whore” who hangs out with skid row junkies without a condom? Jesus.

      “if she says i cant fuck other girls, ill let her know that if the sex is great and you dont give me any unnesessary drama, then it shouldnt be a problem.”

      Yes, she certainly doesn’t seem the type to give you unneccessary drama. Sorry, I meant to text that to someone else “ooops!!!” giggle giggle.

      But hey, maybe she’ll change. I mean, you’ve given her incentive to change right? You’ve rewarded her with more attention and you chasing her and telling her you’re too attracted to her to let her go. So of COURSE she won’t keep doing what she’s doing even though it’s completely working to keep your attention. I mean, every time you punch me, if I give you $1,000, you’re going to decide to stop punching me right?

      “look, my inner game is weak with fresh exs.”

      ya, clearly, so DON’T hang out with them. Don’t try to make them fuckbuddies. My inner game is weak at eating donuts, so I don’t go to a bakery and order a dozen donuts and sit them beside my computer while I’m typing this. Fuckin guy lol

      See your problem is that you KNOW you’re fucking up, because you keep telling everyone you’re fucking up, but you don’t actually wanna FIX anything. You don’t want to actually CHANGE. You just want to dissolve responsibility from yourself by blaming your “inner game” and “getting sucked into it”. Nothing is your fault so it’s okay! Hand me those donuts someone brought to the office, it’s not MY fault if they go in my mouth because I didn’t bring them to the office nom nom nom!!

      “its a small downtown club scene. the club im with is the biggest and the most popular. shit gets around and i dont think i could handle it all summer. ”

      Time to get out of the scene. Do day game. Delete her number. Avoid her when she wants to talk to you. Go to the gym at a different time.

      You’re just saying “look man, you don’t understand, all my friends do heroin so I HAVE to take another hit”. No, you don’t, you’re just comfortable and making excuses not to break away from bad habits.

      “im doing this to end the high school chase-me-if-you-can! games.”

      No, you’re doing it to prolong it because your deep down scarcity mentality (because you don’t have any other quality options available right now) is secretly hoping that she’ll say “ok, I won’t fuck any other guys and I’ll suck your dick 10x a day and not bring you any drama even though there’s nothing in my history to suggest that I would ever actually stick to any of this lol”.

      If you were ACTUALLY trying to end it, her number would be deleted right now and you would be going to the gym at a different time and you would be avoiding the clubs she’s in for the summer even if that’s inconvenient for you.

      Go fuck ten other women of equal or higher quality.


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 8:04 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      “I may run into her again at the bar or party next time.”

      Leave it, then. You’ll be able to convey better value in person and can tease her for not responding to your txt which’ll make her make sure not to ignore it next time.

      Otherwise you’re trying to build your value uphill on a battlefield where she’s already put you at a disadvantage.

      If there was no way you were going to run into her at a bar or party somewhere in the next couple months, I would say push it but you don’t have to.



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on May 17, 2014 at 11:48 am
Original Link

Both comments are very insightful and corroborate one another.

I again share my own experiences with my crazy ex gf.

Her need for drama was what our entire relationship was predicated on.

I didn’t realize I was caving into it but by arguing with her, by calling her out, by blasting her and challenging her nonsense, I was making her happy by giving her a stick to later hit me with.

Case and point: she broke up with me two days before a massive event that she had helped me plan and promote. She’d lit the fuse two weeks earlier by going out on a birthday dinner with a “friend” who I know asked her out on a “date”. She didn’t tell me, I asked who she went out with. She said “XXXX”. I realized the guy had no clue we were together. So I asked, “Did you tell him we were together?” Her: “He didn’t ask”…

I accused her of cheating…in other words, I took the bait.

She then called me “crazy” saying “He’s just a friend”…and used my anger at this to break up with me…just two days before my big event.

All perfectly timed to 1) manipulate me into reacting 2) giving her to perfect timing to manipulate me into begging her for either forgiveness or to stay—neither of which I did at the time. The motive for all this remains unclear except that it prompted me to read all I could on Borderline and Cluster B behaviours and I read many posts echoing this exact same scenario with other guys.

Then she texted me all week as though it was all normal–I ignored. Then she got even more angry and didn’t show up at any of the events and wrote a nasty note asking me to remove her name from a Facebook group where I’d publicly thanked everyone.

The craziness continued with her later blaming me for abandoning her and “rejecting” her–after she broke up with me.

I caught her in a lie and cut off all contact for 4 months until I was more or less ok with the whole break-up. Today she’s still pissed at me and after I re-engaged her a few weeks ago— her hamster is in over-drive and she’s actively ignoring me.except I don’t really care anymore. It’s now kind of like “If a Borderline falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear her….is what she says having any effect?”

I share this story because honestly…I would never have thought 2-3 moves ahead with any action, i’d be much more straightforward. I’m a man.

You can see how well-executed everything was until it all back-fired when I stopped playing along. She went into anger and panic mode.

These types of drama queens stop being fun.

I now game girls who deserve it.


  • thrust
    on May 18, 2014 at 2:55 am
    Original Link

    thank you, wala.

    I’d like to go into detail on the ongoings with my ex – but its too pathetic, and i feel like a plum for texting her today saying “i have some free time @ 9 sunday night. swing by if you can..”

    she texted back “I’m in ____ this weekend, I’m home Monday though!”

    i txted “monday could work, ill get back to you”

    so i tell my buddy this – he then busted out instagram and showed me a pic of a group pic of all of them – half guys half girls -one, a previous fuck and two, a gut she said she doesnt hang out with anymore..

    since i dont have instagram i checked her pics and came across a recent one with 2 of her guyfriends looking wasted/high etc with bananas near their mouths with this title like “we went bananas last night”

    i feel like such a fucking plum texting her – investing in her, and having my emotions completely rattled by this shit.

    ive never felt so raw before.


    • YaReally
      on May 20, 2014 at 6:50 am
      Original Link

      @thrust
      Lol that’s rough but completely expected. She has learned to treat you like shit and the worst she treats you the more you’ll chase and the more it encourages her to treat you like shit and dangle those carrots.

      @walawala
      Ya that’s the thing is it’s not that you suck thrust. You’re not a shitty person anymore than someone who’s addicted to alcohol or eating bad food is a shitty person. You’re just addicted to her and it’s hard to kick the habit.

      But just like an alcoholic won’t get sober by having a drink and just like a fatty won’t lose weight by eating cupcakes, you have to quit your addiction. No one else can do it for you. You have to go to those AA meetings and vent your shit and get your friends to help support you and pull yourself out of it.

      Cause she’ll keep offering you alcohol and cupcakes. You’ve taught her that you can’t resist them.


  • thrust
    on May 18, 2014 at 1:34 pm
    Original Link

    quality comment, wala.


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 2:15 pm
      Original Link

      @thrust
      “look, I don’t have any other options…so uhhh would you take pity on me, and out of pity let me touch your vagina once in a while? sure, sure, lead me on a bunch and play some headgames and send screencaps of our conversations to your other guy friends to lol at me behind my back, that’s fine, I’m pretty desperate here.

      Then when winter comes, because I wasted the entire summer to maybe stick it in you 2 or 3 times when you didn’t happen to flake on me and send me crying into my pillow before typing out frustrated internet rants, I can spend the winter alone. Because I didn’t meet any other girls, because you kept me so consumed in your drama, because that’s what girls like you do when a guy like me is clearly addicted to you.

      Then I can REALLY get depressed because it’s cold out and no one wants to go out and I can just sit in my room and hope that maybe you text me at some point. Maybe try some online dating because despite being a badass alpha male bouncer, I’m scared to talk to the cute girls I see around me all day and mack on them instead of chasing you.”

      This is a summer you could be using to get your shit together and meet better girls. Other girls can fuck as good as she can, minus the drama. Sorry for the tough love, but you’re addicted to a shitty girl who’s going to just keep stringing you along. Seen it a dozen times and your situ is no more special a snowflake than it was for those dozen other guys.

      You’re better than that yo. If anything, flake on her. Change gyms. She will haunt you all summer because tooling you is funny to her. Like, you have to understand that. I should post the text screencaps girls send me of guys who give them ultimatums and chase them around and fall into their drama. They LAUGH at these guys yo.

      Don’t be those guys. Cut yourself off the drug, cold turkey, you can’t handle “doses”. Like, you are too invested and not strong enough (no offense) to handle doses of her. And you don’t have enough else going on to handle doses of her because your brain doesn’t WANT to move on.

      You have one-itis and it’s gonna’ waste your summer if you keep in contact with her. Cold-turkey that shit!


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 5:51 pm
      Original Link

      @thrust
      Aaaand here comes the bitch-slap, sorry in advance but I’m sure you can handle it.

      “I have other options. lol c’mon Ya – not every asshole on here is a beta plum.”

      Mentally, you DON’T have options. I can go out and stick my dick in a 3/10 warpig tonight, but if she isn’t equally as hot, fun amazing, sexy etc. as the girl who can get me to freak out just appearing at my gym at the same time as me, I don’t ACTUALLY have options.

      “i havent told you all the “good” that comes with her being madly attracted to me.”

      Let’s review:

      “needless to say i got sucked back into it when i was drinking at the same bar she was.. and bam, 3 weeks later i explode again in a post-sex drunken take on her hanging with a skid row dealer – she made the excuse saying she was only there to pick up her gf – oh, and have the dealer play a song for her on his guitar. ”

      – sucks you into her drama
      – follows you around to suck you into her drama (showing up at your gym/bars)
      – has you so emotionally wound-up and invested in her that you explode on her
      – hangs with skid row dealers who play songs for her on their guitar

      And:

      “Then she brings up guyfriends etc – throughout our entire relationship, I know she lived a double life. I only saw one side of her – her side with me – not the crazy wild party slut coke whore that she doesn’t display to me.”

      – brings up other guys to make you jealous and trigger your emotional rages, on purpose, she knows exactly what it does to you and gets off on it
      – is a wild party slut coke whore

      And:

      “her “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to end that to you. I was overlooking our messages and didnt switch convos..””

      – there’s that thing where she tries to make you jealous because it’s entertaining to her

      Also you’re fucking her without a condom. That seems wise lol

      And how have you handled it so far:

      ” i gave her options a few weeks ago:

      either 1. we try this out again on better terms/boundaries, 2. i fuck you and you dont ask me about my life and i dont give a shit about yours 3. no contact

      she txted me maybe a day or 2 after that – i said sorry not gonna chill, have you made your mind up yet..”

      So you made an ultimatum and then “got sucked back into it” and showed her that your word doesn’t mean shit and you say things and don’t actually follow thru with them (just like you said to us “cold turkey. my own fault.” and “this is day 1 i guess. and she will text me. all i have to do is ignore it.”, which you didn’t do).

      You didn’t “get sucked back into it”. You’re not some helpless leaf blowing in the wind. You’re a man who’s made some bad decision and will continue to make them until you accept that you have a problem. You actively chose to let yourself get consumed by her drama. Because your judgement is compromised. Because you are too emotionally invested in her (aka addicted) to be able to handle doses of her.

      You may also be addicted to drama and get off on it. Which is fine, but if that’s the case, you should know that about yourself so you can make sure it doesn’t fuck you over.

      But you can’t see this and will probably just think I’m an asshole who doesn’t “get it”, just like all the other guys who’ve been thru your exact same situation and thinks no one “gets it”. “it’s different”. It’s not, the only thing that’s different is that it’s personally relevant to you.

      You are an alcoholic hanging out at a bar or a fat chick hanging out in a bakery. No one’s saying you suck, but you are not mentally tough enough to sit beside that metaphorical glass of Jack Daniel’s and not take a sip right now.

      That’s why you haven’t just deleted or blocked her number like we’ve told you to. You can’t because you’re not making rational decisions. Because you have one-itis and it’s fucking with your head, and you don’t have enough quality options to avoid getting sucked into her shit.

      “my offer is: fuck buddy, no more than twice a week, no sleepovers (she always sleeps over) and she cant fuck any other guys because 1. i dont wear a condom and 2. if you fuck other guys i wont fuck you. take it or leave it.”

      Logically offering an ultimatum will totally work. We all know women stick to their word and make decisions and agreements based in logic. A girl who enjoys feeding you drama (see all the stuff I quoted up above) will definitely not say one thing and do the complete opposite. She certainly wouldn’t want to piss you off, that’s why she doesn’t bring up other guys around you…OH NO WAIT. lol

      I’m sure she’ll tell you exactly what you want to hear. And then do whatever she wants anyway.

      Also wrap your tool dumbass. What are you even thinking?? You’re a BOUNCER…you literally see girls fucking random guys every night you work, and you’re fucking a “wild party slut coke whore” who hangs out with skid row junkies without a condom? Jesus.

      “if she says i cant fuck other girls, ill let her know that if the sex is great and you dont give me any unnesessary drama, then it shouldnt be a problem.”

      Yes, she certainly doesn’t seem the type to give you unneccessary drama. Sorry, I meant to text that to someone else “ooops!!!” giggle giggle.

      But hey, maybe she’ll change. I mean, you’ve given her incentive to change right? You’ve rewarded her with more attention and you chasing her and telling her you’re too attracted to her to let her go. So of COURSE she won’t keep doing what she’s doing even though it’s completely working to keep your attention. I mean, every time you punch me, if I give you $1,000, you’re going to decide to stop punching me right?

      “look, my inner game is weak with fresh exs.”

      ya, clearly, so DON’T hang out with them. Don’t try to make them fuckbuddies. My inner game is weak at eating donuts, so I don’t go to a bakery and order a dozen donuts and sit them beside my computer while I’m typing this. Fuckin guy lol

      See your problem is that you KNOW you’re fucking up, because you keep telling everyone you’re fucking up, but you don’t actually wanna FIX anything. You don’t want to actually CHANGE. You just want to dissolve responsibility from yourself by blaming your “inner game” and “getting sucked into it”. Nothing is your fault so it’s okay! Hand me those donuts someone brought to the office, it’s not MY fault if they go in my mouth because I didn’t bring them to the office nom nom nom!!

      “its a small downtown club scene. the club im with is the biggest and the most popular. shit gets around and i dont think i could handle it all summer. ”

      Time to get out of the scene. Do day game. Delete her number. Avoid her when she wants to talk to you. Go to the gym at a different time.

      You’re just saying “look man, you don’t understand, all my friends do heroin so I HAVE to take another hit”. No, you don’t, you’re just comfortable and making excuses not to break away from bad habits.

      “im doing this to end the high school chase-me-if-you-can! games.”

      No, you’re doing it to prolong it because your deep down scarcity mentality (because you don’t have any other quality options available right now) is secretly hoping that she’ll say “ok, I won’t fuck any other guys and I’ll suck your dick 10x a day and not bring you any drama even though there’s nothing in my history to suggest that I would ever actually stick to any of this lol”.

      If you were ACTUALLY trying to end it, her number would be deleted right now and you would be going to the gym at a different time and you would be avoiding the clubs she’s in for the summer even if that’s inconvenient for you.

      Go fuck ten other women of equal or higher quality.


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 8:04 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      “I may run into her again at the bar or party next time.”

      Leave it, then. You’ll be able to convey better value in person and can tease her for not responding to your txt which’ll make her make sure not to ignore it next time.

      Otherwise you’re trying to build your value uphill on a battlefield where she’s already put you at a disadvantage.

      If there was no way you were going to run into her at a bar or party somewhere in the next couple months, I would say push it but you don’t have to.



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

Lucaen
on May 17, 2014 at 1:21 pm
Original Link

the words a woman speaks are always secondary to her current emotional state. when you read a woman, don’t read her words, read her emotional state. when you respond to her, you are responding to her emotional state, not the literal meaning of her words.


  • YaReally
    on May 18, 2014 at 2:21 pm
    Original Link

    @Lucaen
    Solid. The follow-up to this is “change her mood, not her mind”. Don’t try to logically convince a woman of something, change her mood to what you want and you’ll “win”.

    Nice Guy handing her his resume and bullet points notes of why she should like him = nope. Asshole who on paper is a piece of shit and she hates him teases her and makes her laugh = she wants to fuck him.

    Girl mad at you and you try to logically convince her you’re right = nope. Girl mad at you and you lol and tease her and make her laugh = she wants to fuck you.

    Guys are taught to communicate with logic and make solid arguments and shit, but women just do that on the surface level and guys have no idea that women communicate on the emotional level first.



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

Lucaen
on May 17, 2014 at 1:21 pm
Original Link

the words a woman speaks are always secondary to her current emotional state. when you read a woman, don’t read her words, read her emotional state. when you respond to her, you are responding to her emotional state, not the literal meaning of her words.


  • YaReally
    on May 18, 2014 at 2:21 pm
    Original Link

    @Lucaen
    Solid. The follow-up to this is “change her mood, not her mind”. Don’t try to logically convince a woman of something, change her mood to what you want and you’ll “win”.

    Nice Guy handing her his resume and bullet points notes of why she should like him = nope. Asshole who on paper is a piece of shit and she hates him teases her and makes her laugh = she wants to fuck him.

    Girl mad at you and you try to logically convince her you’re right = nope. Girl mad at you and you lol and tease her and make her laugh = she wants to fuck you.

    Guys are taught to communicate with logic and make solid arguments and shit, but women just do that on the surface level and guys have no idea that women communicate on the emotional level first.



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 17, 2014 at 8:57 pm
Original Link

@HABD wow brother you really gave me a lot to think about. I can see what you said about the battle playing out in her hamster. Lol I did send mixed signals. Excellent analysis and as usual I have a few more questions.
First you are saying that picking her up for a date was part of what caused the shit testing and that got her thinking incongruence. I get that. Are you telling me that you do not pick women up for a date? Or not at first? And that this brings down your alpha status?

I understand that I may have to wait her out. I am seeing that this may take a long time. But I am concerned that if this cat and mouse game goes on too long with multiple flakes it puts me into a lower status position and makes getting to the bang less likely. Is this the case? Or does this just become a longer and longer game?

So my prediction is she is going to shit test me hard when I tell her to meet me out. Instead of complying like she is indicating she will do. But I am going to fight it out. Lol So here is what I am going to do. She sent me a good morning text this morning which I did not reply to. Rude like you said, but evidently manners has no place in this game.lol Anyway I am going to text her tomorrow tell her where to meet me on Monday and what time, a restaurant in a nice plaza with lots of stuff going on have some dinner and wine. Then we can walk around and then casually walk over to my hotel. Get another glass of wine do a lot of teasing and then move her up to my room.

My plan is if she resists and tells me she has to stay close to home. I will immediately back out and say. Never mind I will make other plans. No arguing, no back and forth just go dark. I have a really busy week so my only opportunity to meet her will be Monday. What do you think?

And by the way on the ex watching her kid. You are absolutely right. In fact I instinctively knew this at the time and did not call her out on this. Should I have called her on her shit? She had even told me early on that her ex was a great dad to her kid.

So this one is no amateur either. lol


  • YaReally
    on May 18, 2014 at 10:57 am
    Original Link

    got a big reply in mod, watch for it.


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 8:02 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      Just send her “Monday, 8pm” and go radio silent till you see my reply in mod. Then she knows to reserve a babysitter for that time so she can get things rolling on her end.

      Don’t respond to ANYTHING she sends after that about if you’re picking her up or a better time/day to meet or anything, till you read my reply which has gameplan in it for ya.


    • YaReally
      on May 19, 2014 at 12:38 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      Mods apparently hate me this weekend lol

      Tell her where to meet you. If she sends you anything that isn’t emphatic agreement (she’ll try to get you to pick her up), send these specific words: “it’s ok we can meet up another time when you can get to the plaza area” then radio silence. Don’t mention making other plans or she def won’t come out, but this specific txt might get her to come out. She’ll probably throw a little fit. Ignore it. Around 8 she’ll probably txt “ok fine where do I come to” or she won’t txt anything it’s a coin toss.

      If she agrees to meet don’t make a big deal. Just tell her where and when and bang her as planned. If she won’t come to you, radio silence for 2 days.

      This is the optimal play for getting the lay tonight with her personality type. My post in mod will explain why


  • reco
    on May 19, 2014 at 1:53 pm
    Original Link

    OK I sent the text telling her to come out. A little while later this is her reply:

    “Try my best got into a little accident this morning”

    So it is not an emphatic agreement, but it is somewhat of an agreement…and of course the accident is a play for me picking her up to make me her white knight. So should I send the next text. About its ok some other time? Or should I just wait?

    Also I must say you guys called it again. Damn some day I am going to believe. lol I am amazed.

    By the way I was gaming the cute front desk girl a little. She is about 30YO give her a 6. She is getting used to seeing me at this hotel, and is throwing very good IOI’s I even thought of inviting her out to the bar. But I did not want to muddy the waters. lol But I will save her for later maybe.


    • YaReally
      on May 19, 2014 at 7:31 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      probably too late, but tell her “ok we can meet up on another night when things aren’t so hectic for you”, then radio silence that night until she agrees to meet up, or if she doesn’t then TOTAL radio silence for 2 days (time to dole out some punishment), then it’s time to bring in “flirt but don’t offer to meet up” mode.

      She’s forcing you to act a little nastier. This could get messy lol



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 17, 2014 at 8:57 pm
Original Link

@HABD wow brother you really gave me a lot to think about. I can see what you said about the battle playing out in her hamster. Lol I did send mixed signals. Excellent analysis and as usual I have a few more questions.
First you are saying that picking her up for a date was part of what caused the shit testing and that got her thinking incongruence. I get that. Are you telling me that you do not pick women up for a date? Or not at first? And that this brings down your alpha status?

I understand that I may have to wait her out. I am seeing that this may take a long time. But I am concerned that if this cat and mouse game goes on too long with multiple flakes it puts me into a lower status position and makes getting to the bang less likely. Is this the case? Or does this just become a longer and longer game?

So my prediction is she is going to shit test me hard when I tell her to meet me out. Instead of complying like she is indicating she will do. But I am going to fight it out. Lol So here is what I am going to do. She sent me a good morning text this morning which I did not reply to. Rude like you said, but evidently manners has no place in this game.lol Anyway I am going to text her tomorrow tell her where to meet me on Monday and what time, a restaurant in a nice plaza with lots of stuff going on have some dinner and wine. Then we can walk around and then casually walk over to my hotel. Get another glass of wine do a lot of teasing and then move her up to my room.

My plan is if she resists and tells me she has to stay close to home. I will immediately back out and say. Never mind I will make other plans. No arguing, no back and forth just go dark. I have a really busy week so my only opportunity to meet her will be Monday. What do you think?

And by the way on the ex watching her kid. You are absolutely right. In fact I instinctively knew this at the time and did not call her out on this. Should I have called her on her shit? She had even told me early on that her ex was a great dad to her kid.

So this one is no amateur either. lol


  • YaReally
    on May 18, 2014 at 10:57 am
    Original Link

    got a big reply in mod, watch for it.


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2014 at 8:02 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      Just send her “Monday, 8pm” and go radio silent till you see my reply in mod. Then she knows to reserve a babysitter for that time so she can get things rolling on her end.

      Don’t respond to ANYTHING she sends after that about if you’re picking her up or a better time/day to meet or anything, till you read my reply which has gameplan in it for ya.


    • YaReally
      on May 19, 2014 at 12:38 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      Mods apparently hate me this weekend lol

      Tell her where to meet you. If she sends you anything that isn’t emphatic agreement (she’ll try to get you to pick her up), send these specific words: “it’s ok we can meet up another time when you can get to the plaza area” then radio silence. Don’t mention making other plans or she def won’t come out, but this specific txt might get her to come out. She’ll probably throw a little fit. Ignore it. Around 8 she’ll probably txt “ok fine where do I come to” or she won’t txt anything it’s a coin toss.

      If she agrees to meet don’t make a big deal. Just tell her where and when and bang her as planned. If she won’t come to you, radio silence for 2 days.

      This is the optimal play for getting the lay tonight with her personality type. My post in mod will explain why


  • reco
    on May 19, 2014 at 1:53 pm
    Original Link

    OK I sent the text telling her to come out. A little while later this is her reply:

    “Try my best got into a little accident this morning”

    So it is not an emphatic agreement, but it is somewhat of an agreement…and of course the accident is a play for me picking her up to make me her white knight. So should I send the next text. About its ok some other time? Or should I just wait?

    Also I must say you guys called it again. Damn some day I am going to believe. lol I am amazed.

    By the way I was gaming the cute front desk girl a little. She is about 30YO give her a 6. She is getting used to seeing me at this hotel, and is throwing very good IOI’s I even thought of inviting her out to the bar. But I did not want to muddy the waters. lol But I will save her for later maybe.


    • YaReally
      on May 19, 2014 at 7:31 pm
      Original Link

      @reco
      probably too late, but tell her “ok we can meet up on another night when things aren’t so hectic for you”, then radio silence that night until she agrees to meet up, or if she doesn’t then TOTAL radio silence for 2 days (time to dole out some punishment), then it’s time to bring in “flirt but don’t offer to meet up” mode.

      She’s forcing you to act a little nastier. This could get messy lol



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

Will
on May 18, 2014 at 1:10 am
Original Link

This could just be me and let me know if it is.

For me and the good majority of my friends I find that we end up chasing girls. Even the alphas don’t have girls chasing them so much. I don’t get this it seems more naturally that a guy has the girl chasing him but I rarely see high smv girls chasing.

Do you just wait in this limbo until a girl chases you? It just seems rather bizarre how I haven’t seen very many guys get chased by a girl ever really. And the good 20+ friends are somewhat high smv guys


  • YaReally
    on May 18, 2014 at 9:38 am
    Original Link

    Girls don’t chase when they know they can have you. Even Naturals don’t play that hard to get.

    To make a girl really truly chase, you have to mindfuck her. Give her amazing emotions and addict her to them like a drug and then take them away. And give her just enough to keep her hooked and keep taking it away. And take it away for completely arbitrary reasons and then make her earn it back in completely arbitrary ways (investing) etc.

    I know a Natural guy who used to do this all the time with different girls. He was a bit twisted but he had hot girls following him down the street crying and begging (fucking embarrassing/depressing to watch) for him to give them another chance etc. Lots of crying and drama and shit involved.

    He was good, he got laid more than anyone I’ve ever seen, but I didn’t envy the drama it all came with lol

    I use a bit of it but just enough to get a girl back in line if it seems like she’s flaking too much or takes me for granted and then I drop it. So I use it more like a minor punishment and just use as much as is necessary. He used it hardcore and took it to the extremes to entertain himself (and appease his own need for validation) lol

    Here’s an example of the kind of tactic that makes them chase:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/5/#comment-heartiste-563271

    The problem with most guys is the girls KNOW that if they snapped their finger the guy would happily whip his dick out. Esp if she’s high SMV. Even if he hasn’t given any indication that he WOULD, she ASSUMES it because she’s high SMV and to her that’s how the world works.

    So to even stand out as a guy who won’t chase her, you have to actively instigate situations that demonstrate that, and that’s just to get on her radar as a possible challenge. From there you have to hold your frame against hers (she has a lifetime of reference experience that she’s the shit and thousands of guys chase her, and most guys have maybe 1-3 experiences in their like of girls chasing them) through all her testing, and then you have to ACTIVELY TURN DOWN her pussy a few times lol which is way beyond most guy’s level of self-control. Around THAT point is where a high SMV girl will chase you.

    So ya, you won’t see it often. Cause very few guys can successfully navigate that gauntlet. Even Naturals (hell, if anything Naturals tend to be even more emotionally reactive and willing to jump when she first offers).



Comment Of The Week: Deere John

Original Link

via Heartiste

Will
on May 18, 2014 at 1:10 am
Original Link

This could just be me and let me know if it is.

For me and the good majority of my friends I find that we end up chasing girls. Even the alphas don’t have girls chasing them so much. I don’t get this it seems more naturally that a guy has the girl chasing him but I rarely see high smv girls chasing.

Do you just wait in this limbo until a girl chases you? It just seems rather bizarre how I haven’t seen very many guys get chased by a girl ever really. And the good 20+ friends are somewhat high smv guys


  • YaReally
    on May 18, 2014 at 9:38 am
    Original Link

    Girls don’t chase when they know they can have you. Even Naturals don’t play that hard to get.

    To make a girl really truly chase, you have to mindfuck her. Give her amazing emotions and addict her to them like a drug and then take them away. And give her just enough to keep her hooked and keep taking it away. And take it away for completely arbitrary reasons and then make her earn it back in completely arbitrary ways (investing) etc.

    I know a Natural guy who used to do this all the time with different girls. He was a bit twisted but he had hot girls following him down the street crying and begging (fucking embarrassing/depressing to watch) for him to give them another chance etc. Lots of crying and drama and shit involved.

    He was good, he got laid more than anyone I’ve ever seen, but I didn’t envy the drama it all came with lol

    I use a bit of it but just enough to get a girl back in line if it seems like she’s flaking too much or takes me for granted and then I drop it. So I use it more like a minor punishment and just use as much as is necessary. He used it hardcore and took it to the extremes to entertain himself (and appease his own need for validation) lol

    Here’s an example of the kind of tactic that makes them chase:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/5/#comment-heartiste-563271

    The problem with most guys is the girls KNOW that if they snapped their finger the guy would happily whip his dick out. Esp if she’s high SMV. Even if he hasn’t given any indication that he WOULD, she ASSUMES it because she’s high SMV and to her that’s how the world works.

    So to even stand out as a guy who won’t chase her, you have to actively instigate situations that demonstrate that, and that’s just to get on her radar as a possible challenge. From there you have to hold your frame against hers (she has a lifetime of reference experience that she’s the shit and thousands of guys chase her, and most guys have maybe 1-3 experiences in their like of girls chasing them) through all her testing, and then you have to ACTIVELY TURN DOWN her pussy a few times lol which is way beyond most guy’s level of self-control. Around THAT point is where a high SMV girl will chase you.

    So ya, you won’t see it often. Cause very few guys can successfully navigate that gauntlet. Even Naturals (hell, if anything Naturals tend to be even more emotionally reactive and willing to jump when she first offers).



Children’s Phrases As Game Material

Original Link

via Heartiste

reco
on May 16, 2014 at 6:29 am
Original Link

FR- It’s a fluid situation.
Well I thought this week was going to be smooth and not so much. So if you remember I had Wednesday set for 33YOPrude, and Thursday set for meeting 40YONurse. Both reliable women but both are MILFs with many logistical obligations. So 33YOPrude’s father had heart attack she was in hospital all night and Thursday morning her dad went in for valve replacement. Everything was cool get together following week. 40YONurse was set to come up to hotel Thursday evening lots of sexy talk and ready to do some more banging. Then at about 2:45 in the afternoon I am working and I get this text.

“ I have really bad news my son is sick I had to run out to pick him up we are on our way to docs im soo sorry I have to cancel. I promise to make it up to you!!”
So what else can I do? I figured like Yareally said women flake and don’t act butthurt. It could be intentional it could be a test just don’t let it bother you like HABD said. So I was cool with it.I will go silent with her for a couple of days which is actually not a big deal since we do not text a lot anyway. Then I did something impulsive. Maybe it was a mistake. But I was getting massive IOI’s all day from my 33YOPrude here is the texts she had been sending me.

Her: Hey babe 9:55 AM
Me: Hey…how did your dads surgery go 11:13 AM (just being decent not too needy)
Her: Went good. He went in at 6am. He’ll make full recovery 11:15 AM
Me: That’s good…I am sorry though… 11:17 AM
Me: …cause you did not get the pleasure of spending the evening with me. 11:20 AM (little humor and sexuality)
Her: Me too. I was quite upset 11:26 AM
Her: Need to see u 11:30 AM (her interest is high)
Her: Hopefully you can fit me in again 11:37 AM
Me: We’ll see 12:31 PM (I love these two words learned if from someone on this site)
Her: Ok. Your call 12:39 PM

I already had the hotel and no plans for the evening. Its not like I can just go home now. So I sent her a text and invited her out. Now things start to get a little messy. We are still pre-bang and I may not have as much pull with her as I think I do. Here is the texts.

Me: Lets get together tonight 2:45 PM
Her: Let me see if I can find a sitter 3:31 PM
Me: Ok 3:31 PM
Her: Waiting on sitter confirmation 4:42 PM
Me: lol its no big deal…been a long day…I am going to go out tonight for a little while …if you want to meet me out let me know. 5:05 PM (me trying to not look too eager or look like I am sitting around waiting on her)
Her: I’ll be home by 630 5:28 PM
Her: 7 actually. 5:45 PM
Me: Sure come on down…I will be at ———— :) 5:52 PM
Her: I was going to stay close to here..his Dad can watch him. Let u know 6:11 PM (did not want to change plans and go pick her up…not sure if this was right…logistics were better close to my hotel)
Me: Ok cutie whatever you want to do…I would sure like to see ya 6:19 PM (trying to lure her to come out)
Me: I will be down at ——– around 7:30 6:25 PM
Her: Ok..was thinking this way. Didn’t want to be to far from —– because of his ears. 6:31 PM
Me: No problem maybe some other time 6:32 PM (maybe I should have went to her but then maybe would not have options for the bang…didn’t want to just do a lame dinner date and makeout again)
Her: Ok 6:34 PM
Her: Poopy 6:34 PM
Her: If u change your mind, I’m ready in a jiff 6:36 PM
Her: Just let me know when again…had my little heart set on seeing ya 6:42 PM
Me: Then come on down sweetheart…we dont want to disappoint your little heart lol 6:43 PM
Her: I would go that way but lil man and his ears..very unpredictable. Been a weird day anyways. No worries 6:45 PM (now it feels like a war of wills at this point)
Her: Possible soon. Have fun 6:53 PM
Me: ? 6:54 PM
Her: Stupid phone. Meant to say we’ll finally get together soon one day again. 6:55 PM
Her: Are you in town tomorrow or any next week? 7:07 PM

So what do you think? Did I fuck this up? Did I give up too much here just being impatient? Did not get the bang. But figured I would go on down to the bar and start working a little on socializing and approach. So bear with me. It is a 20’s to late 30’s crowd in there I am 50+ probably look 40’s and dress well for my age. It has been a really really long time. And I do not have anyone with me and I was never good at this shit to begin with. So crawling here. Lol

Really nice bar, large live music, smoking hot waitresses and bartenders. Set up at the bar its early happy hour crowd. This is not a dance club type of place more like a nightclub. I get a drink. And just hang out working on posture body language, smiling attitude how I am feeling inside. Then I strike up a convo with one of the bartenders. He could actually be Billy Joel he looks so much like him. Lol We start talking sports and I make eye contact with a few patrons. Smile a little but nothing serious everyone is in conversation. Huge cow sets up next to me actually stands on my foot like a cow would do. I make a joke and move over. She was disgusting.

Then start talking to this other guy. Big bald guy and he is very friendly knows everyone in the place. This guy is a natural. He really can work a room. Find out he is very wealthy. So through him I get to meet a more people. Mostly guys but hey it’s a start. Few warm approaches through this little social circle in the back of the bar. Meet the manager, the General Manager, got their cards. So it was more networking than flirting. Still have a ways to go. But then he bought us all some shots. I am not a big drinker and do not get drunk but the shots did not help. I really need to find me a wingman. I have a good friend that is a retired alpha that I am trying to get out with me. He is married but doesn’t mind practicing catch and release which is better than nothing. Anyway that was my evening. Not the best. What do you guys think?


  • YaReally
    on May 16, 2014 at 2:12 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    too busy to do anything in-depth but I wanted to note that both flakes flaked on you in the best way, the “I can’t make it but let’s reschedule plz” way.

    From one of my other posts a while back:

    “Her offering a reschedule is a huge ioi. A shitty flake is when they flake and don’t apologize, that girl isn’t interested and is probably a waste of time or needs some more high-octane emotional game played on her. Slightly better is when they flake but apologize, that girl is interested but needs some work but should still be do-able. The best is when they flake, apologize, and offer a reschedule. That’s pretty much on like donkey kong.”

    So you have the flake, apologize and reschedule from both of them. That’s the best possible (well, the ULTIMATE best possible is them saying “but I’m free next Tuesday can we do it then?” whereas yours are more “I definitely want to try again”, but they have tough schedule logistics to work around so that’s understandable than if they were 21 with no life responsibilities).

    Although this: “Her: Are you in town tomorrow or any next week? 7:07 PM” is technically the ULTIMATE best possible flake I just described. If you want to bang her tonight I would do something like “I’m free around 8 tonight.” and don’t offer to meet up, make her work and offer to come meet up. She’s nervous about fucking things up and has had a boring night to think “ok maybe I should come to him”. But it’s a bit sudden so if you don’t MIND waiting till next week you could be like “plans already tonight, but I’m free Tuesday (or whatever).”

    I’d say she would prrrrrrrobably come bone you tonight. But if she pulls the “you come to me” thing again, Soft Next radio silence all weekend as punishment until she figures out she has to come bang you on your terms, you won’t chase her on her terms, ’cause you have other options.

    40YO def wants to bone, she just legit had to cancel. She WILL make it up to you next time. You can actually tell her HOW to make it up to you. I like to suggest an outfit or lingerie for them to wear because that’s fun for them and sometimes they’ll run out and buy some specific stuff just for you which is investing in you and it’s sexual instead of like “you’re paying for dinner” lol So I’d be like “As long as making it up to me involves you in some silk lingerie and heels.” and basically give her a sexual “task” to think about and prepare all week to make it up to you.

    You handled it all good and props to going out and networking. As an old dude you want to be the guy people know, even if it’s dudes and such. That gives you a boost in value to girls who see the manager greet you by name that counters your age…VS the old guy drinking alone and sad silently in a corner lol You become intriguing.

    this made me lol:

    Me: Ok cutie whatever you want to do…I would sure like to see ya (trying to lure her to come out)

    (a few lines later)

    Her: Just let me know when again…had my little heart set on seeing ya

    lol. same tactic, for the same reason except she’s used to it working when she does it. :)

    “Damn the wife is going to get a lot of dick this weekend. lol”

    lol’ed hard at this.

    @Random guy
    “Wow, why assume she was flaking/shit-testing?”

    A flake can be both legit and a shit-test. She’s always subconsciously noting how you handle yourself when shit hits the fan, even if that shit is legit.


    • YaReally
      on May 16, 2014 at 2:46 pm
      Original Link

      Just as a follow-up, if you get into a situation where a girl flakes a lot and you’ve offered to meet up 2 or 3 times and she either turns them down or flakes on them, what I like to do is, after the Soft Next punishment (of course) is still txt them and flirt with them and say sexy things and roleplay and project all the fun sexy adventures you two will have together in the future etc…

      …but then just NEVER offer to meet up lol So it’s like their flakiness hasn’t turned you off them in general, but it HAS made you less interested in actually inviting them out because they always flake and you’re bored of trying to get them out, but still enjoy flirting with them.

      You’re doing a push/pull because you push them away by not inviting them to meet up anymore, but you’re pulling them by still flirting as IF you were going to invite them out.

      Psychologically it fucks with her head because she’s like “I don’t get it, he likes me, just like he did before, but now he isn’t inviting me out…what’s going on??” and after being puzzled for a bit and trying to lure you into asking them out (so she’ll do stuff like “oh my friends cancelled so I’m just sitting here all dolled up with nowhere to go…….” or “I’m just laying here in bed all alone….I was just trying on lingerie today……….now I’m just here all by myself……” lol waiting for you to make the offer), she’ll start to LEGITIMATELY want you to invite her out because it goes from “can I get him to invite me out still?” to “…does he not like me?? why won’t he invite me out???”

      Eventually there’s a tipping point where either she invites you out and if she’s not too bad you can go meet up with her, but if she’s like your 26YO, you play a little hard to get like “I don’t know I’m kind of busy this week…let me get back to you” and then flake on her lol And when she offers again you can accept.

      The end result is that they end up investing in you and demanding you come out and fuck them basically, and it’s all because you withdrew part of your attention but not all of it.

      For an analogy, imagine an almost kiss. Where you lean in right up in her face and you’re talking and your lips are juuuuuuuuuust almost barely brushing against eachother as you talk, and as she gets turned on and is dying for you to kiss her, you pull back slightly and keep her on the edge. Instinctively she’ll want to grab you and pull you in to make out.

      Here’s an example actually (close the ad window and press the Play button in the bottom-left and keep doing that until it plays lol couldn’t find a better link).

      Skip to 19:45 in:

      http://seriesonlinesa.blogspot.ca/2013/02/californication-6×04-hell-bent-for.html

      The way he moves in to kiss her, then suddenly turns away “I’m sorry, I changed my mind” and takes it away is fucking FLAWLESS. And the way she reacts by grabbing him. 1) that’s a great move, try it sometime I use it a lot, and 2) the reason girls react that way is because you dangled it in front of them and then took it away and instinctively they need closure.

      Another analogy is a stripper, they’ll get suuuuuper close to you and alllmost kiss you and next thing you know you’re hitting the ATM for another $20 lol Because they know the tension is frustrating and their customer will chase the closure.

      Anyway, this is like, a super hail-mary tactic on really difficult problem-women. You shouldn’t need to run it, and if you do have to it can take weeks or months, so it’s not a fast solution…but in certain cases, it’s useful as fuck and can turn a flakey girl around and make her chase.

      The key to take from it is to extrapolate this hardcore tactic back down to the minor tactic of a simple Soft Next where you just remove attention. It’s like you start with the lightest punishment and only do as much as is necessary to get her to get in line with the plan. This tactic is the other end of the spectrum. You miiiiight have to try it on the 33YO but I’d give her another couple flakes with no actual meet-up, before I started using this one on her, she hasn’t crossed the line quite yet.


    • YaReally
      on May 16, 2014 at 3:11 pm
      Original Link

      @Random Guy
      “I suppose. No reason to take the quoted case as anything other than face value, in this case…”

      Irrelevant. I’m sure it’s 100% real. But it’s still a test. If he reacted butthurt or supplicative, she would lose attraction for him. By reacting like a boss, she keeps or gains attraction for him.



Children’s Phrases As Game Material

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via Heartiste

reco
on May 16, 2014 at 6:29 am
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FR- It’s a fluid situation.
Well I thought this week was going to be smooth and not so much. So if you remember I had Wednesday set for 33YOPrude, and Thursday set for meeting 40YONurse. Both reliable women but both are MILFs with many logistical obligations. So 33YOPrude’s father had heart attack she was in hospital all night and Thursday morning her dad went in for valve replacement. Everything was cool get together following week. 40YONurse was set to come up to hotel Thursday evening lots of sexy talk and ready to do some more banging. Then at about 2:45 in the afternoon I am working and I get this text.

“ I have really bad news my son is sick I had to run out to pick him up we are on our way to docs im soo sorry I have to cancel. I promise to make it up to you!!”
So what else can I do? I figured like Yareally said women flake and don’t act butthurt. It could be intentional it could be a test just don’t let it bother you like HABD said. So I was cool with it.I will go silent with her for a couple of days which is actually not a big deal since we do not text a lot anyway. Then I did something impulsive. Maybe it was a mistake. But I was getting massive IOI’s all day from my 33YOPrude here is the texts she had been sending me.

Her: Hey babe 9:55 AM
Me: Hey…how did your dads surgery go 11:13 AM (just being decent not too needy)
Her: Went good. He went in at 6am. He’ll make full recovery 11:15 AM
Me: That’s good…I am sorry though… 11:17 AM
Me: …cause you did not get the pleasure of spending the evening with me. 11:20 AM (little humor and sexuality)
Her: Me too. I was quite upset 11:26 AM
Her: Need to see u 11:30 AM (her interest is high)
Her: Hopefully you can fit me in again 11:37 AM
Me: We’ll see 12:31 PM (I love these two words learned if from someone on this site)
Her: Ok. Your call 12:39 PM

I already had the hotel and no plans for the evening. Its not like I can just go home now. So I sent her a text and invited her out. Now things start to get a little messy. We are still pre-bang and I may not have as much pull with her as I think I do. Here is the texts.

Me: Lets get together tonight 2:45 PM
Her: Let me see if I can find a sitter 3:31 PM
Me: Ok 3:31 PM
Her: Waiting on sitter confirmation 4:42 PM
Me: lol its no big deal…been a long day…I am going to go out tonight for a little while …if you want to meet me out let me know. 5:05 PM (me trying to not look too eager or look like I am sitting around waiting on her)
Her: I’ll be home by 630 5:28 PM
Her: 7 actually. 5:45 PM
Me: Sure come on down…I will be at ———— :) 5:52 PM
Her: I was going to stay close to here..his Dad can watch him. Let u know 6:11 PM (did not want to change plans and go pick her up…not sure if this was right…logistics were better close to my hotel)
Me: Ok cutie whatever you want to do…I would sure like to see ya 6:19 PM (trying to lure her to come out)
Me: I will be down at ——– around 7:30 6:25 PM
Her: Ok..was thinking this way. Didn’t want to be to far from —– because of his ears. 6:31 PM
Me: No problem maybe some other time 6:32 PM (maybe I should have went to her but then maybe would not have options for the bang…didn’t want to just do a lame dinner date and makeout again)
Her: Ok 6:34 PM
Her: Poopy 6:34 PM
Her: If u change your mind, I’m ready in a jiff 6:36 PM
Her: Just let me know when again…had my little heart set on seeing ya 6:42 PM
Me: Then come on down sweetheart…we dont want to disappoint your little heart lol 6:43 PM
Her: I would go that way but lil man and his ears..very unpredictable. Been a weird day anyways. No worries 6:45 PM (now it feels like a war of wills at this point)
Her: Possible soon. Have fun 6:53 PM
Me: ? 6:54 PM
Her: Stupid phone. Meant to say we’ll finally get together soon one day again. 6:55 PM
Her: Are you in town tomorrow or any next week? 7:07 PM

So what do you think? Did I fuck this up? Did I give up too much here just being impatient? Did not get the bang. But figured I would go on down to the bar and start working a little on socializing and approach. So bear with me. It is a 20’s to late 30’s crowd in there I am 50+ probably look 40’s and dress well for my age. It has been a really really long time. And I do not have anyone with me and I was never good at this shit to begin with. So crawling here. Lol

Really nice bar, large live music, smoking hot waitresses and bartenders. Set up at the bar its early happy hour crowd. This is not a dance club type of place more like a nightclub. I get a drink. And just hang out working on posture body language, smiling attitude how I am feeling inside. Then I strike up a convo with one of the bartenders. He could actually be Billy Joel he looks so much like him. Lol We start talking sports and I make eye contact with a few patrons. Smile a little but nothing serious everyone is in conversation. Huge cow sets up next to me actually stands on my foot like a cow would do. I make a joke and move over. She was disgusting.

Then start talking to this other guy. Big bald guy and he is very friendly knows everyone in the place. This guy is a natural. He really can work a room. Find out he is very wealthy. So through him I get to meet a more people. Mostly guys but hey it’s a start. Few warm approaches through this little social circle in the back of the bar. Meet the manager, the General Manager, got their cards. So it was more networking than flirting. Still have a ways to go. But then he bought us all some shots. I am not a big drinker and do not get drunk but the shots did not help. I really need to find me a wingman. I have a good friend that is a retired alpha that I am trying to get out with me. He is married but doesn’t mind practicing catch and release which is better than nothing. Anyway that was my evening. Not the best. What do you guys think?


  • YaReally
    on May 16, 2014 at 2:12 pm
    Original Link

    @reco
    too busy to do anything in-depth but I wanted to note that both flakes flaked on you in the best way, the “I can’t make it but let’s reschedule plz” way.

    From one of my other posts a while back:

    “Her offering a reschedule is a huge ioi. A shitty flake is when they flake and don’t apologize, that girl isn’t interested and is probably a waste of time or needs some more high-octane emotional game played on her. Slightly better is when they flake but apologize, that girl is interested but needs some work but should still be do-able. The best is when they flake, apologize, and offer a reschedule. That’s pretty much on like donkey kong.”

    So you have the flake, apologize and reschedule from both of them. That’s the best possible (well, the ULTIMATE best possible is them saying “but I’m free next Tuesday can we do it then?” whereas yours are more “I definitely want to try again”, but they have tough schedule logistics to work around so that’s understandable than if they were 21 with no life responsibilities).

    Although this: “Her: Are you in town tomorrow or any next week? 7:07 PM” is technically the ULTIMATE best possible flake I just described. If you want to bang her tonight I would do something like “I’m free around 8 tonight.” and don’t offer to meet up, make her work and offer to come meet up. She’s nervous about fucking things up and has had a boring night to think “ok maybe I should come to him”. But it’s a bit sudden so if you don’t MIND waiting till next week you could be like “plans already tonight, but I’m free Tuesday (or whatever).”

    I’d say she would prrrrrrrobably come bone you tonight. But if she pulls the “you come to me” thing again, Soft Next radio silence all weekend as punishment until she figures out she has to come bang you on your terms, you won’t chase her on her terms, ’cause you have other options.

    40YO def wants to bone, she just legit had to cancel. She WILL make it up to you next time. You can actually tell her HOW to make it up to you. I like to suggest an outfit or lingerie for them to wear because that’s fun for them and sometimes they’ll run out and buy some specific stuff just for you which is investing in you and it’s sexual instead of like “you’re paying for dinner” lol So I’d be like “As long as making it up to me involves you in some silk lingerie and heels.” and basically give her a sexual “task” to think about and prepare all week to make it up to you.

    You handled it all good and props to going out and networking. As an old dude you want to be the guy people know, even if it’s dudes and such. That gives you a boost in value to girls who see the manager greet you by name that counters your age…VS the old guy drinking alone and sad silently in a corner lol You become intriguing.

    this made me lol:

    Me: Ok cutie whatever you want to do…I would sure like to see ya (trying to lure her to come out)

    (a few lines later)

    Her: Just let me know when again…had my little heart set on seeing ya

    lol. same tactic, for the same reason except she’s used to it working when she does it. :)

    “Damn the wife is going to get a lot of dick this weekend. lol”

    lol’ed hard at this.

    @Random guy
    “Wow, why assume she was flaking/shit-testing?”

    A flake can be both legit and a shit-test. She’s always subconsciously noting how you handle yourself when shit hits the fan, even if that shit is legit.


    • YaReally
      on May 16, 2014 at 2:46 pm
      Original Link

      Just as a follow-up, if you get into a situation where a girl flakes a lot and you’ve offered to meet up 2 or 3 times and she either turns them down or flakes on them, what I like to do is, after the Soft Next punishment (of course) is still txt them and flirt with them and say sexy things and roleplay and project all the fun sexy adventures you two will have together in the future etc…

      …but then just NEVER offer to meet up lol So it’s like their flakiness hasn’t turned you off them in general, but it HAS made you less interested in actually inviting them out because they always flake and you’re bored of trying to get them out, but still enjoy flirting with them.

      You’re doing a push/pull because you push them away by not inviting them to meet up anymore, but you’re pulling them by still flirting as IF you were going to invite them out.

      Psychologically it fucks with her head because she’s like “I don’t ge