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YaReally Archive


The Female Total Attractiveness-Age Curve

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via Heartiste

Hunter
on October 27, 2014 at 1:26 pm
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@Scray @YaReally @Immoral @Kant et al.

30 Day Challenge ends by Nov. 6. Excited to share insights from hitting the clubs! I’m still lurk-reading posts. I’ll throw up an FR in a couple of weeks.


  • YaReally
    on October 27, 2014 at 5:17 pm
    Original Link

    @Hunter

    Props dude, I’ll watch out for it! Push your comfort zone right to the end. You can go out for 365 days straight without improving if you aren’t pushing your interactions and going for the actual pull:


    • YaReally
      on October 28, 2014 at 1:35 pm
      Original Link

      @Truman
      I just dropped a reply and gameplan for ya in response to that post but it’s in moderation right now. Check your original post for a reply to pop up in the next couple days. CH if you see this can you go hit approve or whatever? thx



The Female Total Attractiveness-Age Curve

Original Link

via Heartiste

Hunter
on October 27, 2014 at 1:26 pm
Original Link

@Scray @YaReally @Immoral @Kant et al.

30 Day Challenge ends by Nov. 6. Excited to share insights from hitting the clubs! I’m still lurk-reading posts. I’ll throw up an FR in a couple of weeks.


  • YaReally
    on October 27, 2014 at 5:17 pm
    Original Link

    @Hunter

    Props dude, I’ll watch out for it! Push your comfort zone right to the end. You can go out for 365 days straight without improving if you aren’t pushing your interactions and going for the actual pull:


    • YaReally
      on October 28, 2014 at 1:35 pm
      Original Link

      @Truman
      I just dropped a reply and gameplan for ya in response to that post but it’s in moderation right now. Check your original post for a reply to pop up in the next couple days. CH if you see this can you go hit approve or whatever? thx



Optimizing Your Womanizing: Weightlifting

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via Heartiste

Arbiter
on October 22, 2014 at 5:38 pm
Original Link

Talking about training, let’s spread the word about ditching cardio. There is no reason for people to run on the treadmill for an hour anymore. For those who refuse to lift weights – at least do interval training instead of monotonous jogging.

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/chronic-cardio-2

“At the end of the study, the women in the interval group had lost three times the body fat as the women in the continuous exercise group.”

“Another collaborative study organized by universities and health institutes in Denmark and Japan highlighted the same distinction in fat oxidation between prolonged, continuous exercise and shorter, intense interval routines. In addition to additional fat oxidation, the study’s results linked interval exercise with lower plasma glucose, increased epinephrine response, lower insulin concentration and increased fat oxidation during the recovery period.”

Cardio makes people hungrier so they eat more. They think they lose more calories from running than they really do. Running also makes people tired so they move around less the rest of the day. Studies show that people usually stay the same weight or actually gain weight when doing cardio.

Cardio releases the stress hormone cortisol, which tells the body to store fat for an emergency. Weightlifting also releases cortisol, but also releases a counter-hormone.

Cardio makes the body take energy from both fat and muscle mass. So that when you – inevitably – quit the boring, monotonous running, you have less muscle mass to burn calories. So you gain weight faster.

The loss of muscle mass also gives runners the infamous “pancake ass”. Because of course, thinking that running is all they need, they never do squats or lunges.

People who do a lot of cardio have shorter lifespans, same as people who do no exercise at all.

Running damages the joints. Not something people worry about when they are young, but they ruin their chances of staying in shape later in life. In fact, running causes a lot of wear and tear. Especially for the heart and lungs. They are made for short bursts, and for long walks or for rest, not for an hour or more of sustained strain. One of the worst things you can do to your heart and lungs is to train for a marathon. Is that participation ribbon really worth that much?

Running in a city also makes you gulp down a lot more fumes than you would simply from walking – perhaps a contributing reason to why runners so often look wrinkly early in life.

More about cardio:

http://eattoperform.com/2013/09/07/5-arguments-for-cardio-and-one-against/

No matter what your heart rate monitor tells you, you didn’t earn 450 calories. When you work out, you are essentially placing stress upon the various systems of your body, which isn’t favorable for fat loss. When your body senses stress (as a general rule) it needs food, rest, or a combo platter to combat the disruption. If you don’t provide sufficient amounts of both your body simply down-regulates fat loss to adjust to the stress.

As I mentioned above, this is actually a pretty great thing – stress is what leads to adaptation and makes you a more functional human being. What it doesn’t tend to do be favorable for is retention or growth of muscle – the notable exception is HIIT with sprints or spinning or something of that nature. Even in that instance, dollar for dollar, you are better off with resistance or weight training for building muscle.

Why is building muscle important? Put simply, the body functions better and processes nutrients better when it’s carrying more muscle. If you want to speed up your metabolism, weight training is the ticket – not cardio.

And:

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/the-evidence-continues-to-mount-against-chronic-cardio


  • YaReally
    on October 23, 2014 at 3:33 am
    Original Link

    “There is no reason for people to run on the treadmill for an hour anymore.”

    …being able to fuck without running out of breath? I don’t know much about exercise but I don’t think lifting weights or having bigger muscles is going to help a guy’s cardio for long periods of physical activity like fucking.

    I hate running/cardio, but I also hate getting winded and collapsing during sex lol

    “In fact, running causes a lot of wear and tear. Especially for the heart and lungs. They are made for short bursts, and for long walks or for rest, not for an hour or more of sustained strain. One of the worst things you can do to your heart and lungs is to train for a marathon”

    Shit, maybe I’d better give up sex, it sounds hazardous to my health.



Optimizing Your Womanizing: Weightlifting

Original Link

via Heartiste

Arbiter
on October 22, 2014 at 5:38 pm
Original Link

Talking about training, let’s spread the word about ditching cardio. There is no reason for people to run on the treadmill for an hour anymore. For those who refuse to lift weights – at least do interval training instead of monotonous jogging.

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/chronic-cardio-2

“At the end of the study, the women in the interval group had lost three times the body fat as the women in the continuous exercise group.”

“Another collaborative study organized by universities and health institutes in Denmark and Japan highlighted the same distinction in fat oxidation between prolonged, continuous exercise and shorter, intense interval routines. In addition to additional fat oxidation, the study’s results linked interval exercise with lower plasma glucose, increased epinephrine response, lower insulin concentration and increased fat oxidation during the recovery period.”

Cardio makes people hungrier so they eat more. They think they lose more calories from running than they really do. Running also makes people tired so they move around less the rest of the day. Studies show that people usually stay the same weight or actually gain weight when doing cardio.

Cardio releases the stress hormone cortisol, which tells the body to store fat for an emergency. Weightlifting also releases cortisol, but also releases a counter-hormone.

Cardio makes the body take energy from both fat and muscle mass. So that when you – inevitably – quit the boring, monotonous running, you have less muscle mass to burn calories. So you gain weight faster.

The loss of muscle mass also gives runners the infamous “pancake ass”. Because of course, thinking that running is all they need, they never do squats or lunges.

People who do a lot of cardio have shorter lifespans, same as people who do no exercise at all.

Running damages the joints. Not something people worry about when they are young, but they ruin their chances of staying in shape later in life. In fact, running causes a lot of wear and tear. Especially for the heart and lungs. They are made for short bursts, and for long walks or for rest, not for an hour or more of sustained strain. One of the worst things you can do to your heart and lungs is to train for a marathon. Is that participation ribbon really worth that much?

Running in a city also makes you gulp down a lot more fumes than you would simply from walking – perhaps a contributing reason to why runners so often look wrinkly early in life.

More about cardio:

http://eattoperform.com/2013/09/07/5-arguments-for-cardio-and-one-against/

No matter what your heart rate monitor tells you, you didn’t earn 450 calories. When you work out, you are essentially placing stress upon the various systems of your body, which isn’t favorable for fat loss. When your body senses stress (as a general rule) it needs food, rest, or a combo platter to combat the disruption. If you don’t provide sufficient amounts of both your body simply down-regulates fat loss to adjust to the stress.

As I mentioned above, this is actually a pretty great thing – stress is what leads to adaptation and makes you a more functional human being. What it doesn’t tend to do be favorable for is retention or growth of muscle – the notable exception is HIIT with sprints or spinning or something of that nature. Even in that instance, dollar for dollar, you are better off with resistance or weight training for building muscle.

Why is building muscle important? Put simply, the body functions better and processes nutrients better when it’s carrying more muscle. If you want to speed up your metabolism, weight training is the ticket – not cardio.

And:

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/the-evidence-continues-to-mount-against-chronic-cardio


  • YaReally
    on October 23, 2014 at 3:33 am
    Original Link

    “There is no reason for people to run on the treadmill for an hour anymore.”

    …being able to fuck without running out of breath? I don’t know much about exercise but I don’t think lifting weights or having bigger muscles is going to help a guy’s cardio for long periods of physical activity like fucking.

    I hate running/cardio, but I also hate getting winded and collapsing during sex lol

    “In fact, running causes a lot of wear and tear. Especially for the heart and lungs. They are made for short bursts, and for long walks or for rest, not for an hour or more of sustained strain. One of the worst things you can do to your heart and lungs is to train for a marathon”

    Shit, maybe I’d better give up sex, it sounds hazardous to my health.



Optimizing Your Womanizing: Weightlifting

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 23, 2014 at 3:27 am
Original Link

lol.

While you manly men are spending 2 hours in the gym and Krav Maga classes, this is how PUAs work out:

Todd sounds like girly effeminate homo and he’s short and skinny with gay body language and tonality..and despite that he’s able to do this sober in the daytime just fucking around before he teaches a bootcamp.

Are half of these numbers probably going to flake? Sure, it’d be better if he slowed down a bit to make sure he built solid deep comfort/rapport instead of just showing off for the camera. Are a bunch of them friendly/social/asexual closes where he’s going to have to pull some serious escalation in person to turn things into a sexual territory? Sure, it’d be better if he showed more intent from the start and didn’t have to pick up the slack when he gets them out (although one could argue being non-threatening in the daytime can help get the girl and her friends out to party where you can then be more sexual either with her or her friends and get the lay). Either way, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to fully close a solid chunk of those numbers.

Spend 2 months hitting the gym for 2 hours a day, and then spend 2 months doing THIS exercise for 2 hours a day, and let me know which method gets you more pussy lol The way to get better at picking up girls is to PICK UP GIRLS. A lot of this other shit like go climb a mountain and go join MMA and go shave a few more bodyfat % off you and go earn more money, is just guys trying to convince themselves that they don’t have to go approach that turbo hottie at the bar and risk getting rejected…they can do all these OTHER things and increase the chances of that hottie liking them or approaching them. It’s like when you don’t want to write a book report for school so you do a thousand other things book report RELATED to try to stall for time and procrastinate hoping that the book report will just somehow write itself, but it’s not going to happen. You have to sit down with the pen in your hand and start writing…and your first draft might suck and you throw it out, and the second might be a bit better but still not be A+ worthy, so you throw that one out and write it again and again and again until you can consistently write a good book report and ace that shit.

Now if you want to spend 2 hours in the gym AND spend 2 hours sarging, that’s cool, but that’s 4 hours out of your day and you’re going to be physically and mentally exhausted, especially if you’re also spending 12 hours a day on business shit to get rich. If you can pull all of that off for years, then you’re a badass and good on you for being Superman. But if you’re a normal dude, some of that is gonna’ slip here and there…if you have to budget your time and pick between 2 hours of lifting weights or 2 hours approaching girls, GO APPROACH GIRLS. lol

When people are skeptical of “oh how could you have multiple girls on the go, or have a regular harem of fuckbuddies, whatever man, you must be exaggerating”, I think a lot of times they don’t realize that they’re probably playing “pickup-lite”. They’re out Fri/Sat night for a couple hours and get a number or two, maybe take a girl home once a month, and that’s what they think PUAs are doing. I used to go out 3-5 nights a week every week, from like 8pm – 2am. It’s NOT difficult to build up a harem quickly, you just have to take action and push your interactions and push for closing them. Not this gay “I got some validation so I’m happy, I don’t want to fuck this up so I’ll just ask for her number or find her in the bar later hopefully” shit that a lot of guys do these days. Back when I was first writing Field Reports EVERY night out was bare MINIMUM 3-5 number closes (lots of flakes of course, but the point is that I was pushing myself to get used to grabbing the number) and at LEAST a makeout. Like that was bare minimum shit for the PUA community back in the old days.

Right now I’m in full work mode so I’m just relying on fuckbuddies to get me through the winter, and I know my social skills are going to atrophy because of it, but I also know that even if I’m starting from complete scratch 6 months from now, I can just go out and push myself and it’ll take me like a month to get my skills back in shape and less than a month to get a new solid harem of hotties going.

Part of why a number of guys including CH himself have said that they actually do better when they’re out of shape is because when you’re out of shape you don’t have the subconscious crutch to rely on and you game better with less outcome dependence. On top of that, and this one might just be me I dunno, but I don’t want to be full-body sore when I’m boning a chick or at the bar picking up girls to bone, so if I’m going to have a few girls over to bang that week I’m probably not going to be working out because I don’t want to be feeling all crippled shuffling around when I have to toss them around the bedroom for a few hours lol Right now I’m not having sex as often so I can be sore for most of the week and I’m attempting to get in a bit better shape, but when I have a full harem going and I’m sarging regularly, there’s no point where I’m like “ok I want to be so sore I can barely move for 2 or 3 days”.

Anyway, take Bob. He worked out for 2 hours today like he does every day, then he hit the mall and bought a $1000 suit. Before leaving he dropped by the BMW dealership and bought himself a nice brand new BMW. He spent an hour on his hair and getting the perfect shave and shining up his shoes and making sure everything looks perfect, made sure to do some pushups before the bar so when he takes off his jacket girls can see his rippling muscles…

If THAT guy doesn’t get pussy that night, how much of a loser would most people say he is? If he can’t even get laid with all that shit?

So from the start he’s got outcome dependence because he needs validation (interestingly this is more common in guys who made big changes, so like a rags to riches guy will run into this more than a guy who fluked out and was born rich because the born rich guy is just used to it while the rags to riches guy needs his new life validated).

Then add in game…Bob doesn’t NEED game. These bitches are gonna’ love his biceps. He’s just gonna’ flex at the bar. Huh…how come that turbo girl isn’t approaching him? Doesn’t she see his muscles? What’s going on? Is he not jacked enough yet? Maybe his suit is the wrong color…why isn’t she looking at him? She keeps talking to that loud obnoxious guy who’s making fun of her. Bob shouldn’t have to go approach her or anything…she should just KNOW how high value he is because of how he looks. You know what it is, this bitch is just stupid probably, she doesn’t understand REAL value, she’s probably some lesbo bar slut anyway. Oh but hey, this average 6 is approaching Bob, SHE’S feeling confident because she’s drunk and knows she has to chase guys to get laid. Wow she’s feeling his biceps and telling him she loves his muscles!! SEE!! Bob knew all that hard work in the gym was going to pay off. Sure, she’s an average girl, but he doesn’t have to mention that in his Field Report, he can just call her “cute” and not mention that the girl he really wanted was the hot turbo in the corner that isn’t paying attention to him.

And you know what? Bob could totally GET that turbo, but he’s Next’ed her because she doesn’t appreciate value ’cause she’s a dumb bitch. This average girl isn’t that great, especially considering all the work he’s put into his shit, but you know what, since Bob KNOWS he COULD get that turbo girl (even tho he hasn’t yet except that one fluke time with a girl in his social circle, and you know, he’s had a lot of hot bartender chicks tell him he looks sexy so he could probably get those girls too, you know, he just doesn’t WANT to is all), it’s okay to take this average 6 home and fuck her. Because he COULD get that turbo if she wasn’t such a retarded bitch. So he’s going to take this 6 home “for the lulz” tonight and lol about it with his bros and try to laugh it off as a joke…till he’s alone and looking in the mirror listening to a 6 snoring in his bed and thinking “wtf :( why does this keep happening??”

Now take Billy. Billy looks like shit. He’s got a beer gut from partying hard lately, people in his social circle all have cars and drive him around because they like hanging out with him so he doesn’t really see a need for wasting money on a car, he meant to hit the gym this morning but he was busy trying to kick out a girl from last night…he’s supposed to meet up with his buddies at the bar tonight but he forgot to wash his nice shirt and he’s lazy so he forgot to shave and just kind of rolls out of bed and off to the bar.

Subconsciously he KNOWS he’s going to have to pull out some A++ game, because his looks sure as shit aren’t gonna’ help him lol In fact, Billy finds it funny that he’s even approaching girls, let alone the turbo girl in the bar. It’s hilarious to him to approach her when he looks like shit and his buddies will lol if he tries so he walks over to her, passing by this buff James Bond looking dude leaning against the bar trying to lean in a pose where he knows his muscles look good, and he obnoxiously cuts into her group, already half-laughing to himself as he makes fun of her, not even caring if he gets her or not because if he doesn’t get her then of course he didn’t he looks like shit, and if he gets her then he’s amazing for doing it with such a handicap, so it’s all win/win for him.

It’s good to take care of your body for your own health (especially past 30 when your body doesn’t recover from hangovers or late nights banging as well and you don’t have the sexual cardio to bone for hours that you had in your 20s, and when you want to look like the cool old Clooney VS a fat slob that reminds her of her dad). And being in shape DOES show good things about you in terms of alpha (it shows you have some self-discipline, self-motivation, etc.)

But there’s no reason to stress getting uber-jacked. if you go out enough you’ll see the dynamics I’m describing above play out a lot more than social conditioning would have you think. I’ll bet a few guys reading my account of Bob felt their gut churn because they recognized the nights they’ve done exactly what I described lol


  • dan cong
    on October 23, 2014 at 10:48 am
    Original Link

    “there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to fully close a solid chunk of those numbers.”

    you’re right. there are lots of reasons he won’t. but we won’t see the failures on video as that might negatively effect paid bootcamp attendance.

    “is just guys trying to convince themselves that they don’t have to go approach that turbo hottie at the bar and risk getting rejected”

    true. examining motivation is always valuable and helps us change for the better. getting over the fear of rejection is very important for game and life in general. rejection does not equal death as we no longer live in hunter/gatherer bands.

    “GO APPROACH GIRLS”

    good no bs advice.

    “have a regular harem of fuckbuddies”

    you don’t have a harem.

    harem (n): a group of women who are associated with ONE MAN.

    emperors/despots/warlords have harems. you have fuckbuddies that also fuck other men. nice try though.

    “and this one might just be me I dunno, but I don’t want to be full-body sore when I’m boning a chick”

    not just you. full body sore can negatively effect sexual performance/enjoyment. i’d rather feel good from a good fuck than from a good workout if forced to choose.

    “It’s good to take care of your body for your own health”

    yup. everything you do should be for your benefit. women love a selfish man.


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2014 at 12:22 pm
      Original Link

      @ferret
      “Turbo hotties want rock stars/artists/writers/trust funders or a guy acting like it.”

      For the turbos, EVERY GUY in her social circle is tall jacked and rich. Because she’s a turbo so those are her circles. Why does she go for the scrawny weird artsy guy? Because he’s different and usually passionate about something interesting to him and she likes that his ugly face has “character” etc. because she’s so surrounded by the same dudes all the time that their value neutralizes eachother. If you show me you have a million dollars I’ll be impressed because I’m poor. If you show a group of millionaires they’ll think cool, so what else you got? because that’s nothing they haven’t seen a thousand times before.

      There’s a reason Russell brand was getting laid like crazy before he was famous and it’s not because he’s jacked with a 10/10 handsome face lol

      @dan
      “emperors/despots/warlords have harems. you have fuckbuddies that also fuck other men. nice try though.”

      Depends on the girls involved at the time. See the stuff in my archive about one-sided oLTRs/FBs (you fuck around but she doesn’t either by choice or by not being allowed to by you). I prefer the looser version because I have other shit to worry about and generally don’t really care if they boyfriend up for a while if that’s what they’re looking for (if I haven’t heard from them in a while so I can assume they’ve been fucking around I just have them get tested before we hook up again).

      But I’ve run the one-sided stuff before. It’s just understanding psychology. If I was going to long-term settle with a girl I would probably run it one-sided but because I’m not looking for anything serious right now fully open is fine (and because of Hypergamy I generally only have to contend with an ex-boyfriend or something insignificant VS them sucking a volley of new dicks every weekend). There are downsides to the one-sided forbidden rule style relationships that I talk about in my archives.

      “I’d rather feel good from a good fuck than from a good workout if forced to choose.”

      Agreed lol

      @ted
      “It makes sense, though, that the PUA used-car salesmen would want young men to spend less time lifting in the gym and more time buying their BS products.”

      I don’t sell anything and I link to free material. I’ll be happy to link to your content when you contribute something useful.


  • kant
    on October 23, 2014 at 11:51 am
    Original Link

    @yareally

    “When people are skeptical of “oh how could you have multiple girls on the go, or have a regular harem of fuckbuddies, whatever man, you must be exaggerating”, I think a lot of times they don’t realize that they’re probably playing “pickup-lite”. They’re out Fri/Sat night for a couple hours and get a number or two, maybe take a girl home once a month, and that’s what they think PUAs are doing. I used to go out 3-5 nights a week every week, from like 8pm – 2am. It’s NOT difficult to build up a harem quickly, you just have to take action and push your interactions and push for closing them. ”

    You don’t even have to go out anywhere near that much to get a harem of FBs. If you hook up with a few new girls a month at least a couple of those are going to want to see you regularly. Keep doing that for a few months and soon you have 10 girls wanting to see you once a week and you have no time to game new girls anymore. Lately I’ve been telling new girls I’m leaving town and kicking girls out of my rotation because banging all these girls once a week started to feel like a job and I had no time to do anything else.

    Guys packed into gyms are confusing as fuck to me, I mean does anyone here actually know a ripped guy who gets a lot of cute girls? Seems to me like girls are socially conditioned to say muscly guys are “hot”, because feminists have told them to talk like men and that’s what guys say about girls with good bodies, but if you actually ask a cute girl if she’s every hooked up with a muscled up guy 90% of the time she’ll say no, those guys are dumb / full of themselves, but what they really mean is they have no game and are low social class Jersey shore wannabes. Game (intelligence, especially social intelligence and emotional IQ) and social class are extremely important to high SMV women


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2014 at 12:44 pm
      Original Link

      @kant
      “You don’t even have to go out anywhere near that much to get a harem of FBs. If you hook up with a few new girls a month at least a couple of those are going to want to see you regularly. Keep doing that for a few months and soon you have 10 girls wanting to see you once a week and you have no time to game new girls anymore.”

      Ya, my example was just the extreme end. A guy who’s just doing what Todd is doing, even 2 nights a week, is going to be swimming in pussy. But most guys aren’t attempting 20 number closes in a night. They’re going for one, maybe two max, having a bunch of mild interactions, probably “Next”ing a girl who didn’t respond to their text to save their butthurt ego instead of pushing it, prematurely ejecting from sets after getting their validation fix or bailing on sets that aren’t going perfect instead of practicing turning them around, etc.

      Or they push hard one night and then don’t push that hard again for 3 or 4 weeks.

      If you’re going out every night for a year and still not able to pull regularly, it’s not that you suck or that you’re inferior, it’s just that you’re either not pushing the interactions enough like Todd is in that video or you’re not approaching it smart and learning with each set and actively applying that to the next sets (moar field reports, more analysis, more in-field goals!)

      “Lately I’ve been telling new girls I’m leaving town and kicking girls out of my rotation because banging all these girls once a week started to feel like a job and I had no time to do anything else.”

      lol ya. These days I’m happy with just a few on the go. I already did the huge numbers thing and it was fun at the time but would be annoying to maintain and deal with drama (“why won’t you see me, I bet you have one of your sluts coming over!!”) right now when I’m trying to focus on other stuff.

      My natural buddy and I do a phone cleanse every year where we kill all our numbers with no warning to the girls (he deletes his but I just put Zs in front of mine so they’re on the bottom of my list so I know who’s txting me if they text one day). Whichever girls text us after that get to come back into the fold but it basically makes it so we can’t chase anything that hasn’t panned out by that point and weeds out any fuckbuddies who are trying to get us to chase them, and it frees up spots for new girls.

      We also have a rule of not hooking up with girls we’ve already met (whether we’ve banged them or just gotten a number and are trying to bang them) on certain event weekends like Halloween so we have to go find new girls instead of resorting to falling back on already done deal. This stuff is good for building an abundance mentality. I can pretty much guarantee Todd didn’t even bother texting half of those numbers he got because he’s probably not even in that city for more than a couple days, or he probably just shot a mass “hey meet me at club X” to them all at once with no real fucks given because he’ll be out picking up new girls on bootcamp and in the next city.


    • YaReally
      on October 24, 2014 at 2:05 am
      Original Link

      @Scary
      “IMHO ‘no X is dumb/full of themself’ is female code for ‘hes too high value for me,’ without exception. whether it’s good looks, muscles, game, etc. it always means the same thing.”

      One thing to keep in mind is that your looks can affect the style of game you should be running. The higher status you are externally/passively (ie – a girl can look at you and go that dude is super handsome or rich etc.), the more “boring” your game tends to have to be.

      A guy who looks like Tyler can be a complete dickhead because visually he’s low-value so girls are intrigued that he’s so cocky and full of himself and an asshole. So Tyler saying arrogant cocky shit and talking about fucking a bunch of other girls etc. works for him because girls initially view themselves as way higher-value than him, like they think “I could easily have this guy if I wanted him”.

      But a guy who’s super good-looking often already has girls on the edge of disqualifying themselves from deserving him…so a really good-looking guy who says arrogant cocky shit and who talks about fucking a bunch of other girls is going to get categorized as a cocky player (not the good kind) because it’s just kind of overkill. That guy needs to actually go the opposite route and calibrate DOWN his value to the girl, which often means just having a normal conversation with her and not fucking shit up.

      This is actually a really old PUA concept from the Mystery days, because the heavy peacocking guys were doing back then would sometimes cause average girls to be more on their guard and ready to disqualify them the same way Scray is describing (“he’s dressed like this so he must be some crazy rockstar or something and must be too high value for me so I’m going to find flaws with him so I can reject him first”) and they would have to turn off the cocky/funny negging game and instead calibrate down to the girl’s level and just be a normal cool guy so that she could picture herself having a chance with him…otherwise she would blow herself out and leave.

      So you can either lower your own value (self-depreciating humor etc.) or raise her value (qualify her with easy qualifiers or compliment shit about her with sincere reasons for it (not “those are cool earrings” but “those are cool earrings they remind me of (something deep and personal)”)).

      A big part of why the super obnoxious cocky game I run works is because of my beer gut. If I had 6-pack abs and a chisled jaw and was wearing an Armani suit, I would have to tone my game down a lot and for me, personally, that’s boring lol I like the back and forth verbal sparring and shit, that’s the fun stuff for me in pickup…so if I wasn’t able to use that anymore, I don’t think I’d enjoy sarging as much.

      You can see this play out for yourself by befriending a bunch of good-looking dudes and watching them game and having them try shit out and making them cold-approach and introducing girls to them randomly. then observing You’ll find a lot of the good-looking dudes who get laid a lot are actually running pretty boring game and the good-looking dudes who aren’t are usually either not confident enough or a little too “cocky” in terms of the game style they’re running, for their looks.

      Working out WHILE also learning pickup helps you calibrate as you go because you’re kind of always calibrating your game over time and the progression is natural. It’s usually when a good looking guy suddenly decides to learn game, or when an ugly guy with game suddenly becomes good looking (or rich or whatever) that the miscalibration happens.

      Two important takeaways from this are:

      1) A lot of good-looking guys who get attention literally just have to NOT FUCK UP to get laid…and yet, a lot of them can’t even fucking do THAT lol Like how all a girl has to do to stay hot is not eat shitty food every day and yet some chick is purposely going to the donut shop fattening herself up. It’s like “you had ONE job” lol That’s an indication of how bad most guys’ game is…like they can’t even figure out how to take food off the silver platter in front of them. Seeing this countless times in-field is a big part of why I don’t care about other dudes hitting on my girls, even good-looking dudes. I KNOW that guy is probably going to fuck it up by either being too beta/needy/lame/asexual, or by being too cocky and full of himself (and often NEXT’ing the girl when she won’t play along right away to preserve his self-image). Like go ahead and hit on my girl, it’s fine, you aren’t going to get anywhere with her lol

      2) It’s all relative to the girl’s value primarily. So if you’re a good-looking dude hitting on like, 6-8s (if the 6 isn’t already assuming you’re just tooling her in the first place lol), you’d want to go super nice-guy with your game and basically turn it all off and just stick to building comfort/rapport and building her value (qualify her with easy shit she can pass so you can be like “oh you like cooking that’s awesome that’s rare these days” so she can feel like there’s justification for such a good-looking dude being into her). Being too cocky/obnoxious/forward etc. with these girls is often going to scare them off.

      But if you’re a good-looking dude who also wants to run “cocky & funny” game, then you should be hitting on the 9s and 10s because they’re the ones who are more likely to feel high-value enough to categorize that as confidence instead of arrogance. Quit “slumming it” with the 6s just because you get to run easy mode game.

      As an average/ugly guy however, you can hit on anything and basically just ramp up the cocky/obnoxious shit depending on the girl’s value. So a good-looking guy will more often have to calibrate down as well as up, but an average dude is generally only going to be calibrating up (for a 6 you be a bit cocky, for a 9 or 10 you be over the top cocky and obnoxious and offensive).


    • YaReally
      on October 24, 2014 at 2:17 am
      Original Link

      “@Scary” lol I knew I was going to fuck that up one day.

      @kant
      “I think the biggest problem is that most guys just don’t go for the kill very often. If you try to isolate and fuck every cute girl you talk to then eventually you get really good at isolating and fucking every cute girl you talk to. I see all these field reports in forums of guys complaining “why aren’t these girls having sex with me?” but nowhere in the field report does the dude actually try to fuck those girls. ”

      This is important. I know fucking **PUAs** who don’t pull the trigger, it blows my mind. Like guys who are putting in way more effort than most guys but who just choke and won’t push things forward and keep waiting for the neon flashing green “GO!!!” sign above the girl’s head. It’s the most frustrating thing in the universe to watch.

      I know normal social outgoing guys who are out at the bars every single weekend WANTING to get laid or to get a girlfriend, who could be pulling every weekend (I’m seeing girls giving them iois left and right, they have large social circles that have hot girls that are into them in them, they know club staff or have some other attribute where girls see them as high-value, etc.), who haven’t been laid in months or a year because they don’t pull the trigger because they keep waiting for a 100% green light that won’t risk any chance of rejection or fucking the set up or they need so much reassurance that they want the GIRL to be the one to suggest going to her place or to jump on their dick etc….and often when they DO get laid it’s by some super cocky fat 4 that none of us would go near let alone stick our dick in, because that fat 4 was aggressive and led the interaction to sex.

      It literally makes my stomach churn to watch a buddy get attention from 8s all night who want to bone him but he goes home with a 4 because he wouldn’t pull the trigger on the 8s. It’s literally physically painful to watch lol

      The best Natural I know is a guy who just jumps through every open window the girls give him. He catches the most subtle iois and escalates on them. He’s not even running great technical game, he’s just not missing all the signs that other guys are talking themselves out of or oblivious to.

      This all comes down to guys not giving themselves enough credit (society socially conditions us to feel shameful for being confident and tries to get us to be retardedly humble and insecure), and giving everyone else WAY too much credit (that girl is “perfect”, that guy talking to her is “way cooler than me”, etc.). It’s really sad to see, in terms of men’s mental health and self-worth in society today.


  • R1J2
    on October 23, 2014 at 3:14 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally, Kant, Walawala, and many others:

    The more I read your posts, the more I realize it’s a change of mind you’re talking about. How has your mind set / attitude towards your self and others developed? Obviously it’s gotten better, but how and when did you realize your value wasn’t dependent externally, for example. Was it a gradual improvement with twists and turns, or suddenly hit you at one point and that was it?

    I find my mind set has varied more wildly as I’m pushing my self to improve. Before game, I blamed it on external factors (height, lack of muscles, not cool enough, etc.) and my outlook was more level. After starting to learn game, I tend to blame myself more when something goes wrong.

    Logically after reading what you all have written (and yes, going out and seeing men exactly like me succeed), I know my value isn’t defined by external factors like money, build, height, etc. But subconsciously, it still hasn’t sunk in yet. I still catch my self thinking I need to put on more muscle, or live without a roommate, be highly extroverted, etc. to be more successful. How the hell do you get rid of those mental blocks?

    Thanks everyone.


    • YaReally
      on October 24, 2014 at 3:28 am
      Original Link

      @R1J2
      Slow & steady. A lot of guys get into game thinking a few months or a year of going out is going to fix everything. When I got into game in the old days we all just understood that this was going to be a years-long thing, probably a lifetime commitment and success and progress was going to come in little bits and pieces here and there that you collect through all your nights out succeeding and failing.

      That’s why you can’t learn this from your computer chair just reading shit and watching videos…you have to go out in-field and push shit and experience it all first-hand to rewire your brain otherwise you will ALWAYS have a little skeptic in the back of your head telling you “ya but what IF…”

      The way to break limiting beliefs is to actively break them. If you think your clothes matter, go out and do mass cold approaches for a few months wearing shitty clothes. If you think your age matters, go out and do mass cold approaches while telling girls your age in the first 30 seconds of the interaction for a few months. If you think your muscles matter, get fat or cover it all up in baggy clothes and go out and do mass cold approaches for a few months. If you think your looks matter, go out when you have an acne breakout and do mass cold approaches for a few months. If you think not living alone matters, go out and do mass cold approaches while telling girls you have a roommate and try to bring them back to your apartment. If you think your job matters, go out and do mass cold approaches and tell girls you work at McDonald’s and you’re poor. If you think you have to be cool to get a girl, go mass cold approach girls doing the most ridiculous shit you can think of, twirl around and shout nonsense and then open. If you think your opener matters, go mass cold approach girls either saying the worst openers you can think of or saying complete nonsense or just open them without talking and don’t speak until they speak.

      Do those things for months until you start successfully pulling while doing them, and, if you do it long enough until you’re regularly successful enough despite handicapping yourself, then those limiting beliefs will be broken. It’s simple logic. Once your brain has enough reference experiences that something isn’t true, it goes “ok cool, you win.”

      The problem is most guys don’t want to go through that pain period. They don’t want to actively handicap themselves or sabotage themselves because then what if it takes longer to learn game, and what if they lose a potential lay that they would’ve gotten if they hadn’t handicapped themselves, and what if they aren’t constantly validated by every set how can they feel good about themselves if some girls think they’re lame?? lol

      So guys either won’t do any of this stuff, and will always have that voice in the back of their head fucking with them…or they’ll go out and half-ass it and try it a few times over a few months and then conclude it doesn’t work and end up ENHANCING and solidifying their limiting belief because they didn’t do mass approaches and slowly see the turnaround as they start letting go to where they go from most girls being unreceptive to whatever it is, to most girls being receptive or not caring about it.

      You’re not going to break something like “a guy has to have money to get girls” with 4 cold approaches testing it out over a few months. You’re going to break it when you’re doing 20-30 cold approaches a night, 60+ a week, every week for months and handicapping yourself on the money thing in every single set until you start getting success. It could take months or years to break some limiting beliefs depending on how entrenched they are and how much society perpetuates them.

      This isn’t an easy thing to do. There are lightswitch flipping moments where you’re like “oh wow, that really opened my eyes”. But if you have a lot of limiting beliefs, you have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to really get rid of them. You can learn to work around them and let them stay, but it’s always going to eat away at you in the back of your mind.

      And you CAN NOT do this from your computer chair. Your brain needs real-world experience.

      Hitting bottom helps too. A lot of guys these days find the communit easily (PUA/Manosphere/Red Pill/whatever) because it’s mainstream now. But in the old days it was so underground that the only way you would even know it existed was because you hit bottom so hard and were so desperate to change your life that you typed in “how do I get a girlfriend?” and started digging to find the community. So a lot of guys who entered the community back then had motivation to take it seriously and work at it because they were at rock bottom. We were coming to the community going “I will try fucking ANYTHING, because anything is a step up from where I am right now” so we had to step outside our comfort zones from day one.

      If you’re not at rock bottom, if pickup is just a silly little fun hobby to dabble in now and then, you’re not going to get really good at it and you’re probably going to have a lot of limiting beliefs haunt you. You’re not gonna’ play like Jimi Hendrix by plucking away on a guitar for a couple songs once a week…and if you haven’t hit the point where life has forced you to take it seriously, and you can’t figure out how to self-motivate yourself, it’s going to be harder to push through the pain periods and force yourself outside of your comfort zone.

      Growth comes when we step outside of our comfort zone and challenge ourselves and our beliefs regularly. That’s why guys who don’t “pull the trigger” can spend years going out and getting bare minimum results, because they’re staying in their comfort zone where it’s safe and they don’t grow. That’s why guys who focus on making money instead of approaching girls and actively telling girls they’re poor will never be able to let go of the money crutch, because they’re staying in their comfort zone where it’s safe and they don’t grow.

      Julien talks about this stuff at 4:10 into this vid:

      “I still catch my self thinking I need to put on more muscle, or live without a roommate, be highly extroverted, etc. to be more successful. How the hell do you get rid of those mental blocks?”

      Everything I described above. But I also like how Julien puts it too. He says basically: “Okay, let’s say you’re right. Looks DO matter. You DO need to be jacked to get girls. You DO need to have your own condo. You DO need to be an extrovert. If you don’t have those things, you aren’t getting laid. You also have to be a foot taller, and you have to not be balding. There, you win, you’re right, if you don’t have any of that you are NEVER going to get laid and if you do it’s only going to be with ugly disgusting fat chicks.

      Now what? You won the debate. You’re right. So what are you going to do now? Are you going to just go “okay, well I guess I just won’t have sex the rest of my life. I guess I’ll just die alone. I guess I’ll just fuck ugly fat girls the rest of my life, that’s all I’m going to get out of life so oh well I’ll just lay down and die”? No? Then quit fucking thinking about that shit. It doesn’t help you. If a train of thought isn’t helping you, cut it out and replace it with one that does.”

      That’s the “man up you pussy” approach, some guys respond well to that lol Personally I respond more to the logical/formulaic stuff I wrote above. But whatever works for you. The key either way is to go out and show your brain that it’s full of shit with enough examples that it can’t argue anymore. Once you pass that tipping point that nagging doubt goes away. It’s literally not even a thought in my head that I would need to have my own apartment to pull girls to. I have so much reference experience of pulling girls to places where I’ve had a roommate (or banging them on a buddy’s futon, or banging them in public or at their apartment, etc.) that it’s never a thought that would even enter my mind.

      But I didn’t start OUT that way. I was just like anyone else, massively riddled with limiting beliefs that I had to work on over the years. We were ALL that way. Lots of us still are. Some of us that don’t have your specific personal limiting beliefs have our OWN specific personal limiting beliefs. You’re normal, this is a common thing, and you can fix it just like anyone else can.

      Field is king. Go out this weekend and ACTIVELY confront your limiting beliefs. It’s okay to fuck up, it’s okay to fail, it’s fine lol Embrace the fear and let go of all this shit that’s holding you back. It’s all right there in front of you.



Optimizing Your Womanizing: Weightlifting

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 23, 2014 at 3:27 am
Original Link

lol.

While you manly men are spending 2 hours in the gym and Krav Maga classes, this is how PUAs work out:

Todd sounds like girly effeminate homo and he’s short and skinny with gay body language and tonality..and despite that he’s able to do this sober in the daytime just fucking around before he teaches a bootcamp.

Are half of these numbers probably going to flake? Sure, it’d be better if he slowed down a bit to make sure he built solid deep comfort/rapport instead of just showing off for the camera. Are a bunch of them friendly/social/asexual closes where he’s going to have to pull some serious escalation in person to turn things into a sexual territory? Sure, it’d be better if he showed more intent from the start and didn’t have to pick up the slack when he gets them out (although one could argue being non-threatening in the daytime can help get the girl and her friends out to party where you can then be more sexual either with her or her friends and get the lay). Either way, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to fully close a solid chunk of those numbers.

Spend 2 months hitting the gym for 2 hours a day, and then spend 2 months doing THIS exercise for 2 hours a day, and let me know which method gets you more pussy lol The way to get better at picking up girls is to PICK UP GIRLS. A lot of this other shit like go climb a mountain and go join MMA and go shave a few more bodyfat % off you and go earn more money, is just guys trying to convince themselves that they don’t have to go approach that turbo hottie at the bar and risk getting rejected…they can do all these OTHER things and increase the chances of that hottie liking them or approaching them. It’s like when you don’t want to write a book report for school so you do a thousand other things book report RELATED to try to stall for time and procrastinate hoping that the book report will just somehow write itself, but it’s not going to happen. You have to sit down with the pen in your hand and start writing…and your first draft might suck and you throw it out, and the second might be a bit better but still not be A+ worthy, so you throw that one out and write it again and again and again until you can consistently write a good book report and ace that shit.

Now if you want to spend 2 hours in the gym AND spend 2 hours sarging, that’s cool, but that’s 4 hours out of your day and you’re going to be physically and mentally exhausted, especially if you’re also spending 12 hours a day on business shit to get rich. If you can pull all of that off for years, then you’re a badass and good on you for being Superman. But if you’re a normal dude, some of that is gonna’ slip here and there…if you have to budget your time and pick between 2 hours of lifting weights or 2 hours approaching girls, GO APPROACH GIRLS. lol

When people are skeptical of “oh how could you have multiple girls on the go, or have a regular harem of fuckbuddies, whatever man, you must be exaggerating”, I think a lot of times they don’t realize that they’re probably playing “pickup-lite”. They’re out Fri/Sat night for a couple hours and get a number or two, maybe take a girl home once a month, and that’s what they think PUAs are doing. I used to go out 3-5 nights a week every week, from like 8pm – 2am. It’s NOT difficult to build up a harem quickly, you just have to take action and push your interactions and push for closing them. Not this gay “I got some validation so I’m happy, I don’t want to fuck this up so I’ll just ask for her number or find her in the bar later hopefully” shit that a lot of guys do these days. Back when I was first writing Field Reports EVERY night out was bare MINIMUM 3-5 number closes (lots of flakes of course, but the point is that I was pushing myself to get used to grabbing the number) and at LEAST a makeout. Like that was bare minimum shit for the PUA community back in the old days.

Right now I’m in full work mode so I’m just relying on fuckbuddies to get me through the winter, and I know my social skills are going to atrophy because of it, but I also know that even if I’m starting from complete scratch 6 months from now, I can just go out and push myself and it’ll take me like a month to get my skills back in shape and less than a month to get a new solid harem of hotties going.

Part of why a number of guys including CH himself have said that they actually do better when they’re out of shape is because when you’re out of shape you don’t have the subconscious crutch to rely on and you game better with less outcome dependence. On top of that, and this one might just be me I dunno, but I don’t want to be full-body sore when I’m boning a chick or at the bar picking up girls to bone, so if I’m going to have a few girls over to bang that week I’m probably not going to be working out because I don’t want to be feeling all crippled shuffling around when I have to toss them around the bedroom for a few hours lol Right now I’m not having sex as often so I can be sore for most of the week and I’m attempting to get in a bit better shape, but when I have a full harem going and I’m sarging regularly, there’s no point where I’m like “ok I want to be so sore I can barely move for 2 or 3 days”.

Anyway, take Bob. He worked out for 2 hours today like he does every day, then he hit the mall and bought a $1000 suit. Before leaving he dropped by the BMW dealership and bought himself a nice brand new BMW. He spent an hour on his hair and getting the perfect shave and shining up his shoes and making sure everything looks perfect, made sure to do some pushups before the bar so when he takes off his jacket girls can see his rippling muscles…

If THAT guy doesn’t get pussy that night, how much of a loser would most people say he is? If he can’t even get laid with all that shit?

So from the start he’s got outcome dependence because he needs validation (interestingly this is more common in guys who made big changes, so like a rags to riches guy will run into this more than a guy who fluked out and was born rich because the born rich guy is just used to it while the rags to riches guy needs his new life validated).

Then add in game…Bob doesn’t NEED game. These bitches are gonna’ love his biceps. He’s just gonna’ flex at the bar. Huh…how come that turbo girl isn’t approaching him? Doesn’t she see his muscles? What’s going on? Is he not jacked enough yet? Maybe his suit is the wrong color…why isn’t she looking at him? She keeps talking to that loud obnoxious guy who’s making fun of her. Bob shouldn’t have to go approach her or anything…she should just KNOW how high value he is because of how he looks. You know what it is, this bitch is just stupid probably, she doesn’t understand REAL value, she’s probably some lesbo bar slut anyway. Oh but hey, this average 6 is approaching Bob, SHE’S feeling confident because she’s drunk and knows she has to chase guys to get laid. Wow she’s feeling his biceps and telling him she loves his muscles!! SEE!! Bob knew all that hard work in the gym was going to pay off. Sure, she’s an average girl, but he doesn’t have to mention that in his Field Report, he can just call her “cute” and not mention that the girl he really wanted was the hot turbo in the corner that isn’t paying attention to him.

And you know what? Bob could totally GET that turbo, but he’s Next’ed her because she doesn’t appreciate value ’cause she’s a dumb bitch. This average girl isn’t that great, especially considering all the work he’s put into his shit, but you know what, since Bob KNOWS he COULD get that turbo girl (even tho he hasn’t yet except that one fluke time with a girl in his social circle, and you know, he’s had a lot of hot bartender chicks tell him he looks sexy so he could probably get those girls too, you know, he just doesn’t WANT to is all), it’s okay to take this average 6 home and fuck her. Because he COULD get that turbo if she wasn’t such a retarded bitch. So he’s going to take this 6 home “for the lulz” tonight and lol about it with his bros and try to laugh it off as a joke…till he’s alone and looking in the mirror listening to a 6 snoring in his bed and thinking “wtf :( why does this keep happening??”

Now take Billy. Billy looks like shit. He’s got a beer gut from partying hard lately, people in his social circle all have cars and drive him around because they like hanging out with him so he doesn’t really see a need for wasting money on a car, he meant to hit the gym this morning but he was busy trying to kick out a girl from last night…he’s supposed to meet up with his buddies at the bar tonight but he forgot to wash his nice shirt and he’s lazy so he forgot to shave and just kind of rolls out of bed and off to the bar.

Subconsciously he KNOWS he’s going to have to pull out some A++ game, because his looks sure as shit aren’t gonna’ help him lol In fact, Billy finds it funny that he’s even approaching girls, let alone the turbo girl in the bar. It’s hilarious to him to approach her when he looks like shit and his buddies will lol if he tries so he walks over to her, passing by this buff James Bond looking dude leaning against the bar trying to lean in a pose where he knows his muscles look good, and he obnoxiously cuts into her group, already half-laughing to himself as he makes fun of her, not even caring if he gets her or not because if he doesn’t get her then of course he didn’t he looks like shit, and if he gets her then he’s amazing for doing it with such a handicap, so it’s all win/win for him.

It’s good to take care of your body for your own health (especially past 30 when your body doesn’t recover from hangovers or late nights banging as well and you don’t have the sexual cardio to bone for hours that you had in your 20s, and when you want to look like the cool old Clooney VS a fat slob that reminds her of her dad). And being in shape DOES show good things about you in terms of alpha (it shows you have some self-discipline, self-motivation, etc.)

But there’s no reason to stress getting uber-jacked. if you go out enough you’ll see the dynamics I’m describing above play out a lot more than social conditioning would have you think. I’ll bet a few guys reading my account of Bob felt their gut churn because they recognized the nights they’ve done exactly what I described lol


  • dan cong
    on October 23, 2014 at 10:48 am
    Original Link

    “there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to fully close a solid chunk of those numbers.”

    you’re right. there are lots of reasons he won’t. but we won’t see the failures on video as that might negatively effect paid bootcamp attendance.

    “is just guys trying to convince themselves that they don’t have to go approach that turbo hottie at the bar and risk getting rejected”

    true. examining motivation is always valuable and helps us change for the better. getting over the fear of rejection is very important for game and life in general. rejection does not equal death as we no longer live in hunter/gatherer bands.

    “GO APPROACH GIRLS”

    good no bs advice.

    “have a regular harem of fuckbuddies”

    you don’t have a harem.

    harem (n): a group of women who are associated with ONE MAN.

    emperors/despots/warlords have harems. you have fuckbuddies that also fuck other men. nice try though.

    “and this one might just be me I dunno, but I don’t want to be full-body sore when I’m boning a chick”

    not just you. full body sore can negatively effect sexual performance/enjoyment. i’d rather feel good from a good fuck than from a good workout if forced to choose.

    “It’s good to take care of your body for your own health”

    yup. everything you do should be for your benefit. women love a selfish man.


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2014 at 12:22 pm
      Original Link

      @ferret
      “Turbo hotties want rock stars/artists/writers/trust funders or a guy acting like it.”

      For the turbos, EVERY GUY in her social circle is tall jacked and rich. Because she’s a turbo so those are her circles. Why does she go for the scrawny weird artsy guy? Because he’s different and usually passionate about something interesting to him and she likes that his ugly face has “character” etc. because she’s so surrounded by the same dudes all the time that their value neutralizes eachother. If you show me you have a million dollars I’ll be impressed because I’m poor. If you show a group of millionaires they’ll think cool, so what else you got? because that’s nothing they haven’t seen a thousand times before.

      There’s a reason Russell brand was getting laid like crazy before he was famous and it’s not because he’s jacked with a 10/10 handsome face lol

      @dan
      “emperors/despots/warlords have harems. you have fuckbuddies that also fuck other men. nice try though.”

      Depends on the girls involved at the time. See the stuff in my archive about one-sided oLTRs/FBs (you fuck around but she doesn’t either by choice or by not being allowed to by you). I prefer the looser version because I have other shit to worry about and generally don’t really care if they boyfriend up for a while if that’s what they’re looking for (if I haven’t heard from them in a while so I can assume they’ve been fucking around I just have them get tested before we hook up again).

      But I’ve run the one-sided stuff before. It’s just understanding psychology. If I was going to long-term settle with a girl I would probably run it one-sided but because I’m not looking for anything serious right now fully open is fine (and because of Hypergamy I generally only have to contend with an ex-boyfriend or something insignificant VS them sucking a volley of new dicks every weekend). There are downsides to the one-sided forbidden rule style relationships that I talk about in my archives.

      “I’d rather feel good from a good fuck than from a good workout if forced to choose.”

      Agreed lol

      @ted
      “It makes sense, though, that the PUA used-car salesmen would want young men to spend less time lifting in the gym and more time buying their BS products.”

      I don’t sell anything and I link to free material. I’ll be happy to link to your content when you contribute something useful.


  • kant
    on October 23, 2014 at 11:51 am
    Original Link

    @yareally

    “When people are skeptical of “oh how could you have multiple girls on the go, or have a regular harem of fuckbuddies, whatever man, you must be exaggerating”, I think a lot of times they don’t realize that they’re probably playing “pickup-lite”. They’re out Fri/Sat night for a couple hours and get a number or two, maybe take a girl home once a month, and that’s what they think PUAs are doing. I used to go out 3-5 nights a week every week, from like 8pm – 2am. It’s NOT difficult to build up a harem quickly, you just have to take action and push your interactions and push for closing them. ”

    You don’t even have to go out anywhere near that much to get a harem of FBs. If you hook up with a few new girls a month at least a couple of those are going to want to see you regularly. Keep doing that for a few months and soon you have 10 girls wanting to see you once a week and you have no time to game new girls anymore. Lately I’ve been telling new girls I’m leaving town and kicking girls out of my rotation because banging all these girls once a week started to feel like a job and I had no time to do anything else.

    Guys packed into gyms are confusing as fuck to me, I mean does anyone here actually know a ripped guy who gets a lot of cute girls? Seems to me like girls are socially conditioned to say muscly guys are “hot”, because feminists have told them to talk like men and that’s what guys say about girls with good bodies, but if you actually ask a cute girl if she’s every hooked up with a muscled up guy 90% of the time she’ll say no, those guys are dumb / full of themselves, but what they really mean is they have no game and are low social class Jersey shore wannabes. Game (intelligence, especially social intelligence and emotional IQ) and social class are extremely important to high SMV women


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2014 at 12:44 pm
      Original Link

      @kant
      “You don’t even have to go out anywhere near that much to get a harem of FBs. If you hook up with a few new girls a month at least a couple of those are going to want to see you regularly. Keep doing that for a few months and soon you have 10 girls wanting to see you once a week and you have no time to game new girls anymore.”

      Ya, my example was just the extreme end. A guy who’s just doing what Todd is doing, even 2 nights a week, is going to be swimming in pussy. But most guys aren’t attempting 20 number closes in a night. They’re going for one, maybe two max, having a bunch of mild interactions, probably “Next”ing a girl who didn’t respond to their text to save their butthurt ego instead of pushing it, prematurely ejecting from sets after getting their validation fix or bailing on sets that aren’t going perfect instead of practicing turning them around, etc.

      Or they push hard one night and then don’t push that hard again for 3 or 4 weeks.

      If you’re going out every night for a year and still not able to pull regularly, it’s not that you suck or that you’re inferior, it’s just that you’re either not pushing the interactions enough like Todd is in that video or you’re not approaching it smart and learning with each set and actively applying that to the next sets (moar field reports, more analysis, more in-field goals!)

      “Lately I’ve been telling new girls I’m leaving town and kicking girls out of my rotation because banging all these girls once a week started to feel like a job and I had no time to do anything else.”

      lol ya. These days I’m happy with just a few on the go. I already did the huge numbers thing and it was fun at the time but would be annoying to maintain and deal with drama (“why won’t you see me, I bet you have one of your sluts coming over!!”) right now when I’m trying to focus on other stuff.

      My natural buddy and I do a phone cleanse every year where we kill all our numbers with no warning to the girls (he deletes his but I just put Zs in front of mine so they’re on the bottom of my list so I know who’s txting me if they text one day). Whichever girls text us after that get to come back into the fold but it basically makes it so we can’t chase anything that hasn’t panned out by that point and weeds out any fuckbuddies who are trying to get us to chase them, and it frees up spots for new girls.

      We also have a rule of not hooking up with girls we’ve already met (whether we’ve banged them or just gotten a number and are trying to bang them) on certain event weekends like Halloween so we have to go find new girls instead of resorting to falling back on already done deal. This stuff is good for building an abundance mentality. I can pretty much guarantee Todd didn’t even bother texting half of those numbers he got because he’s probably not even in that city for more than a couple days, or he probably just shot a mass “hey meet me at club X” to them all at once with no real fucks given because he’ll be out picking up new girls on bootcamp and in the next city.


    • YaReally
      on October 24, 2014 at 2:05 am
      Original Link

      @Scary
      “IMHO ‘no X is dumb/full of themself’ is female code for ‘hes too high value for me,’ without exception. whether it’s good looks, muscles, game, etc. it always means the same thing.”

      One thing to keep in mind is that your looks can affect the style of game you should be running. The higher status you are externally/passively (ie – a girl can look at you and go that dude is super handsome or rich etc.), the more “boring” your game tends to have to be.

      A guy who looks like Tyler can be a complete dickhead because visually he’s low-value so girls are intrigued that he’s so cocky and full of himself and an asshole. So Tyler saying arrogant cocky shit and talking about fucking a bunch of other girls etc. works for him because girls initially view themselves as way higher-value than him, like they think “I could easily have this guy if I wanted him”.

      But a guy who’s super good-looking often already has girls on the edge of disqualifying themselves from deserving him…so a really good-looking guy who says arrogant cocky shit and who talks about fucking a bunch of other girls is going to get categorized as a cocky player (not the good kind) because it’s just kind of overkill. That guy needs to actually go the opposite route and calibrate DOWN his value to the girl, which often means just having a normal conversation with her and not fucking shit up.

      This is actually a really old PUA concept from the Mystery days, because the heavy peacocking guys were doing back then would sometimes cause average girls to be more on their guard and ready to disqualify them the same way Scray is describing (“he’s dressed like this so he must be some crazy rockstar or something and must be too high value for me so I’m going to find flaws with him so I can reject him first”) and they would have to turn off the cocky/funny negging game and instead calibrate down to the girl’s level and just be a normal cool guy so that she could picture herself having a chance with him…otherwise she would blow herself out and leave.

      So you can either lower your own value (self-depreciating humor etc.) or raise her value (qualify her with easy qualifiers or compliment shit about her with sincere reasons for it (not “those are cool earrings” but “those are cool earrings they remind me of (something deep and personal)”)).

      A big part of why the super obnoxious cocky game I run works is because of my beer gut. If I had 6-pack abs and a chisled jaw and was wearing an Armani suit, I would have to tone my game down a lot and for me, personally, that’s boring lol I like the back and forth verbal sparring and shit, that’s the fun stuff for me in pickup…so if I wasn’t able to use that anymore, I don’t think I’d enjoy sarging as much.

      You can see this play out for yourself by befriending a bunch of good-looking dudes and watching them game and having them try shit out and making them cold-approach and introducing girls to them randomly. then observing You’ll find a lot of the good-looking dudes who get laid a lot are actually running pretty boring game and the good-looking dudes who aren’t are usually either not confident enough or a little too “cocky” in terms of the game style they’re running, for their looks.

      Working out WHILE also learning pickup helps you calibrate as you go because you’re kind of always calibrating your game over time and the progression is natural. It’s usually when a good looking guy suddenly decides to learn game, or when an ugly guy with game suddenly becomes good looking (or rich or whatever) that the miscalibration happens.

      Two important takeaways from this are:

      1) A lot of good-looking guys who get attention literally just have to NOT FUCK UP to get laid…and yet, a lot of them can’t even fucking do THAT lol Like how all a girl has to do to stay hot is not eat shitty food every day and yet some chick is purposely going to the donut shop fattening herself up. It’s like “you had ONE job” lol That’s an indication of how bad most guys’ game is…like they can’t even figure out how to take food off the silver platter in front of them. Seeing this countless times in-field is a big part of why I don’t care about other dudes hitting on my girls, even good-looking dudes. I KNOW that guy is probably going to fuck it up by either being too beta/needy/lame/asexual, or by being too cocky and full of himself (and often NEXT’ing the girl when she won’t play along right away to preserve his self-image). Like go ahead and hit on my girl, it’s fine, you aren’t going to get anywhere with her lol

      2) It’s all relative to the girl’s value primarily. So if you’re a good-looking dude hitting on like, 6-8s (if the 6 isn’t already assuming you’re just tooling her in the first place lol), you’d want to go super nice-guy with your game and basically turn it all off and just stick to building comfort/rapport and building her value (qualify her with easy shit she can pass so you can be like “oh you like cooking that’s awesome that’s rare these days” so she can feel like there’s justification for such a good-looking dude being into her). Being too cocky/obnoxious/forward etc. with these girls is often going to scare them off.

      But if you’re a good-looking dude who also wants to run “cocky & funny” game, then you should be hitting on the 9s and 10s because they’re the ones who are more likely to feel high-value enough to categorize that as confidence instead of arrogance. Quit “slumming it” with the 6s just because you get to run easy mode game.

      As an average/ugly guy however, you can hit on anything and basically just ramp up the cocky/obnoxious shit depending on the girl’s value. So a good-looking guy will more often have to calibrate down as well as up, but an average dude is generally only going to be calibrating up (for a 6 you be a bit cocky, for a 9 or 10 you be over the top cocky and obnoxious and offensive).


    • YaReally
      on October 24, 2014 at 2:17 am
      Original Link

      “@Scary” lol I knew I was going to fuck that up one day.

      @kant
      “I think the biggest problem is that most guys just don’t go for the kill very often. If you try to isolate and fuck every cute girl you talk to then eventually you get really good at isolating and fucking every cute girl you talk to. I see all these field reports in forums of guys complaining “why aren’t these girls having sex with me?” but nowhere in the field report does the dude actually try to fuck those girls. ”

      This is important. I know fucking **PUAs** who don’t pull the trigger, it blows my mind. Like guys who are putting in way more effort than most guys but who just choke and won’t push things forward and keep waiting for the neon flashing green “GO!!!” sign above the girl’s head. It’s the most frustrating thing in the universe to watch.

      I know normal social outgoing guys who are out at the bars every single weekend WANTING to get laid or to get a girlfriend, who could be pulling every weekend (I’m seeing girls giving them iois left and right, they have large social circles that have hot girls that are into them in them, they know club staff or have some other attribute where girls see them as high-value, etc.), who haven’t been laid in months or a year because they don’t pull the trigger because they keep waiting for a 100% green light that won’t risk any chance of rejection or fucking the set up or they need so much reassurance that they want the GIRL to be the one to suggest going to her place or to jump on their dick etc….and often when they DO get laid it’s by some super cocky fat 4 that none of us would go near let alone stick our dick in, because that fat 4 was aggressive and led the interaction to sex.

      It literally makes my stomach churn to watch a buddy get attention from 8s all night who want to bone him but he goes home with a 4 because he wouldn’t pull the trigger on the 8s. It’s literally physically painful to watch lol

      The best Natural I know is a guy who just jumps through every open window the girls give him. He catches the most subtle iois and escalates on them. He’s not even running great technical game, he’s just not missing all the signs that other guys are talking themselves out of or oblivious to.

      This all comes down to guys not giving themselves enough credit (society socially conditions us to feel shameful for being confident and tries to get us to be retardedly humble and insecure), and giving everyone else WAY too much credit (that girl is “perfect”, that guy talking to her is “way cooler than me”, etc.). It’s really sad to see, in terms of men’s mental health and self-worth in society today.


  • R1J2
    on October 23, 2014 at 3:14 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally, Kant, Walawala, and many others:

    The more I read your posts, the more I realize it’s a change of mind you’re talking about. How has your mind set / attitude towards your self and others developed? Obviously it’s gotten better, but how and when did you realize your value wasn’t dependent externally, for example. Was it a gradual improvement with twists and turns, or suddenly hit you at one point and that was it?

    I find my mind set has varied more wildly as I’m pushing my self to improve. Before game, I blamed it on external factors (height, lack of muscles, not cool enough, etc.) and my outlook was more level. After starting to learn game, I tend to blame myself more when something goes wrong.

    Logically after reading what you all have written (and yes, going out and seeing men exactly like me succeed), I know my value isn’t defined by external factors like money, build, height, etc. But subconsciously, it still hasn’t sunk in yet. I still catch my self thinking I need to put on more muscle, or live without a roommate, be highly extroverted, etc. to be more successful. How the hell do you get rid of those mental blocks?

    Thanks everyone.


    • YaReally
      on October 24, 2014 at 3:28 am
      Original Link

      @R1J2
      Slow & steady. A lot of guys get into game thinking a few months or a year of going out is going to fix everything. When I got into game in the old days we all just understood that this was going to be a years-long thing, probably a lifetime commitment and success and progress was going to come in little bits and pieces here and there that you collect through all your nights out succeeding and failing.

      That’s why you can’t learn this from your computer chair just reading shit and watching videos…you have to go out in-field and push shit and experience it all first-hand to rewire your brain otherwise you will ALWAYS have a little skeptic in the back of your head telling you “ya but what IF…”

      The way to break limiting beliefs is to actively break them. If you think your clothes matter, go out and do mass cold approaches for a few months wearing shitty clothes. If you think your age matters, go out and do mass cold approaches while telling girls your age in the first 30 seconds of the interaction for a few months. If you think your muscles matter, get fat or cover it all up in baggy clothes and go out and do mass cold approaches for a few months. If you think your looks matter, go out when you have an acne breakout and do mass cold approaches for a few months. If you think not living alone matters, go out and do mass cold approaches while telling girls you have a roommate and try to bring them back to your apartment. If you think your job matters, go out and do mass cold approaches and tell girls you work at McDonald’s and you’re poor. If you think you have to be cool to get a girl, go mass cold approach girls doing the most ridiculous shit you can think of, twirl around and shout nonsense and then open. If you think your opener matters, go mass cold approach girls either saying the worst openers you can think of or saying complete nonsense or just open them without talking and don’t speak until they speak.

      Do those things for months until you start successfully pulling while doing them, and, if you do it long enough until you’re regularly successful enough despite handicapping yourself, then those limiting beliefs will be broken. It’s simple logic. Once your brain has enough reference experiences that something isn’t true, it goes “ok cool, you win.”

      The problem is most guys don’t want to go through that pain period. They don’t want to actively handicap themselves or sabotage themselves because then what if it takes longer to learn game, and what if they lose a potential lay that they would’ve gotten if they hadn’t handicapped themselves, and what if they aren’t constantly validated by every set how can they feel good about themselves if some girls think they’re lame?? lol

      So guys either won’t do any of this stuff, and will always have that voice in the back of their head fucking with them…or they’ll go out and half-ass it and try it a few times over a few months and then conclude it doesn’t work and end up ENHANCING and solidifying their limiting belief because they didn’t do mass approaches and slowly see the turnaround as they start letting go to where they go from most girls being unreceptive to whatever it is, to most girls being receptive or not caring about it.

      You’re not going to break something like “a guy has to have money to get girls” with 4 cold approaches testing it out over a few months. You’re going to break it when you’re doing 20-30 cold approaches a night, 60+ a week, every week for months and handicapping yourself on the money thing in every single set until you start getting success. It could take months or years to break some limiting beliefs depending on how entrenched they are and how much society perpetuates them.

      This isn’t an easy thing to do. There are lightswitch flipping moments where you’re like “oh wow, that really opened my eyes”. But if you have a lot of limiting beliefs, you have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to really get rid of them. You can learn to work around them and let them stay, but it’s always going to eat away at you in the back of your mind.

      And you CAN NOT do this from your computer chair. Your brain needs real-world experience.

      Hitting bottom helps too. A lot of guys these days find the communit easily (PUA/Manosphere/Red Pill/whatever) because it’s mainstream now. But in the old days it was so underground that the only way you would even know it existed was because you hit bottom so hard and were so desperate to change your life that you typed in “how do I get a girlfriend?” and started digging to find the community. So a lot of guys who entered the community back then had motivation to take it seriously and work at it because they were at rock bottom. We were coming to the community going “I will try fucking ANYTHING, because anything is a step up from where I am right now” so we had to step outside our comfort zones from day one.

      If you’re not at rock bottom, if pickup is just a silly little fun hobby to dabble in now and then, you’re not going to get really good at it and you’re probably going to have a lot of limiting beliefs haunt you. You’re not gonna’ play like Jimi Hendrix by plucking away on a guitar for a couple songs once a week…and if you haven’t hit the point where life has forced you to take it seriously, and you can’t figure out how to self-motivate yourself, it’s going to be harder to push through the pain periods and force yourself outside of your comfort zone.

      Growth comes when we step outside of our comfort zone and challenge ourselves and our beliefs regularly. That’s why guys who don’t “pull the trigger” can spend years going out and getting bare minimum results, because they’re staying in their comfort zone where it’s safe and they don’t grow. That’s why guys who focus on making money instead of approaching girls and actively telling girls they’re poor will never be able to let go of the money crutch, because they’re staying in their comfort zone where it’s safe and they don’t grow.

      Julien talks about this stuff at 4:10 into this vid:

      “I still catch my self thinking I need to put on more muscle, or live without a roommate, be highly extroverted, etc. to be more successful. How the hell do you get rid of those mental blocks?”

      Everything I described above. But I also like how Julien puts it too. He says basically: “Okay, let’s say you’re right. Looks DO matter. You DO need to be jacked to get girls. You DO need to have your own condo. You DO need to be an extrovert. If you don’t have those things, you aren’t getting laid. You also have to be a foot taller, and you have to not be balding. There, you win, you’re right, if you don’t have any of that you are NEVER going to get laid and if you do it’s only going to be with ugly disgusting fat chicks.

      Now what? You won the debate. You’re right. So what are you going to do now? Are you going to just go “okay, well I guess I just won’t have sex the rest of my life. I guess I’ll just die alone. I guess I’ll just fuck ugly fat girls the rest of my life, that’s all I’m going to get out of life so oh well I’ll just lay down and die”? No? Then quit fucking thinking about that shit. It doesn’t help you. If a train of thought isn’t helping you, cut it out and replace it with one that does.”

      That’s the “man up you pussy” approach, some guys respond well to that lol Personally I respond more to the logical/formulaic stuff I wrote above. But whatever works for you. The key either way is to go out and show your brain that it’s full of shit with enough examples that it can’t argue anymore. Once you pass that tipping point that nagging doubt goes away. It’s literally not even a thought in my head that I would need to have my own apartment to pull girls to. I have so much reference experience of pulling girls to places where I’ve had a roommate (or banging them on a buddy’s futon, or banging them in public or at their apartment, etc.) that it’s never a thought that would even enter my mind.

      But I didn’t start OUT that way. I was just like anyone else, massively riddled with limiting beliefs that I had to work on over the years. We were ALL that way. Lots of us still are. Some of us that don’t have your specific personal limiting beliefs have our OWN specific personal limiting beliefs. You’re normal, this is a common thing, and you can fix it just like anyone else can.

      Field is king. Go out this weekend and ACTIVELY confront your limiting beliefs. It’s okay to fuck up, it’s okay to fail, it’s fine lol Embrace the fear and let go of all this shit that’s holding you back. It’s all right there in front of you.



The Femme Fatale Test: A Game Routine

Original Link

via Heartiste

Truman
on October 17, 2014 at 6:07 am
Original Link

FR for yareally and his disciples, or anybody else with useful input.

Day 2 with Greek 6.5 (day 1 was semi-cold approach, 6 hours of booze-fueled flirty banter and kino, followed by make out on street and in cab. We shared a cab back as we live nearby, but she wouldn’t come back to my place).

Arrived at wine bar a few min late (not deliberately), she was standing waiting, grabbed her head and kissed her on the lips. Since we had made out before, figured I could risk it. She was a bit shocked, I wanted to be first to pull back but she pulled back after ~1s, laughed and said “what are you doing?”. I said with a smile “that’s how I say hello to everybody”, but I could feel myself blushing. On balance it was an ok opener and didn’t do any harm, but nothing amazing.

We got wine and sat outside. Convo was reasonably fun for 1.5 hours, mix of joking around and getting-to-know-you chit chat. A couple of extracts:

At one point we were both playfully refusing to be the first one to reveal our age.
Her: Tell me your age, I thought British guys were real gentlemen
Me (laughing/smirking, shaking head): no, not really
Her (seeming genuinely confused): no? who is that then?
Me: well maybe some of us are, but not this one
Her: oooh ok
Me: you should tell me your age, I thought Greek girls were more submissive
Her (shocked/laughing): submissive?! How many Greek girls do you know?!
Me: listed a few made-up names similar to her name
Her: come on, tell me your age
Me: why don’t you go and get us another glass of wine?
Her: me go and get it on my own? When you got us wine, I came with you!
Me: Haha you didn’t have to
Her: yes, you said “come on, let’s get some wine”
Me: is that how it works, I tell you something and you do it?
Her: um, yeah
Me: well now I’m telling you to go and get us some wine!
Her: (laughs)

After discussing what she’d learnt by stalking me on the internet, she asked me to guess something about her, so I looked her up and down and said “you prefer to give oral sex rather than receiving it”. This got a big laugh and she was shocked again, she asked “do you like to take risks and see how people react?”

After wine bar we walked arm in arm and I led her to my place (5min walk), but she wouldn’t come in. As we entered my street she asked “where are we going?”, I said jokily “what a coincidence, this is my street” (maybe drawing too much attention to it here). We kissed on the street for a few mins, got moderately heated when I backed her against the wall, then she said “ok”, signalling to stop. Tried to get her in a couple of times, e.g. said we would go to another bar and I should just quickly go inside for cigarettes, she said “do you really have cigarettes?”, I laughed and said “no, it’s just an excuse to get you to come inside” (again, maybe too explicit). Another attempt, she still resisted, I said “why not?”
Her: because I don’t know you that well
me: we’re getting to know each other
Her: yes, *outside* your place
me: do you think I would think less of you if you did?
Her: no, I don’t care about that
me: good
*more making out, got heavier*

After that she still wouldn’t come inside, so I walked her back to the metro.

Don’t know what I could’ve done much better here. Convo flowed decently well, although not sparkling, and I sexualised the conversation from time to time (which spiked her emotions) while going back to normal topics, and I tried several times to get her in the door, and I don’t think I was needy. Had good eye contact and tried to speak slowly and deliberately rather than quickly/nervously (not sure how well I did this as it’s easy to forget about it when you’re actually there), while keeping a fun positive vibe. She was laughing and smiling a lot, playing along with my games and playing some of her own, and seemed quite in to the makeout. Could perhaps have done more push-pull, don’t think I really did that or really know how, and more challenging of her, qualifying her to me. Her age is probably a problem (33) as she will most likely be looking to settle down.

Didn’t text or contact her afterwards, my instinct is not to reward her with too much attention if she’s not willing to go beyond a makeout. Probably we’ll see each other again after a week or so. She wants me to come to a concert with her in a few weeks, but she’s getting a whole group together via a website (so could be friends of hers or strangers looking to meet new people), so I probably won’t go as a) it would be letting her lead and b) there would be no way to monopolise her attention as she’s the organiser and would have to speak to everyone. Probably will only go if we have sex a few times before then.


  • YaReally
    on October 28, 2014 at 1:32 pm
    Original Link

    Sorry, I think this will be a confusing read, I have like 4 things going on at once over here so all my thoughts are disjointed and I might be repeating myself or over-explaining (more than I usually do lol):

    “grabbed her head and kissed her on the lips. Since we had made out before, figured I could risk it.”

    A lot of guys make this mistake. When you meet up with her again, you aren’t “resuming” where you were when you last saw her. She’s gone through a million emotional state changes and thought loops since then and is no longer in the same state she was that first time you met…ESPECIALLY if she was drunk at the time…ESPECIALLY if you get CLOSE to sex but don’t quite bang, where she wants to then make a purposeful effort to show you that she isn’t a slut by rejecting your advances when you meet up again.

    I’ve mentioned this before but it’s basically if you can’t see a guaranteed path to the finish line then don’t escalate past a simple romantic light kiss that you end first, to leave her wanting closure/more. She’ll be more down to bang the next time you meet up (and less likely to flake). Whereas if you escalate past that point but something happens and you aren’t able to get all the way to sex, now you have a minefield of Anti-Slut Defense to work through and a higher risk of her flaking on meeting up again.

    So like sometimes the obstacles to the finish line are obvious, like she mentions having to be up for work at 5am the next day or having to babysit her drunk friend tonight, so I know it’s probably not going to happen that night and will keep things to just a romantic kiss. But sometimes it looks like a clear path so you cross that kiss point and then out of nowhere a cockblocking friend or AMOG or some event happens that blocks the path to the finish line…in-field experience helps teach you how to overcome those surprise obstacles to still pull it off, but if those obstacles trip you up then you’ll get this ASD situation.

    So basically view each date as having to start over from scratch and have to re-seduce her. This is another reason why you want to have a solid initial date plan so you can ideally close on that first date…otherwise it can be so much extra work lol

    If you’ve banged her, then ya you can do that and she’ll love it. Or if you ran sick text game right before meeting up and got her in a super attracted turned on state where she’s dying for you to kiss her, then ya you can do that. But if you’re just meeting up like “hey, I’ll be a few min late” “okay see you soon :)” and shit, combined with not getting all the way to sex the last time, it’s better to play it cool and kiss her later on in the date.

    She LIKES you, obviously, since she’s made out with you before and met up with you again…but her ASD wants to make sure you don’t think she’s easy or a slut or that you can just waltz up and escalate on her.

    You’re playing a risky game with some of the stuff you say but since she didn’t run away or anything I’m going to assume you’re charming enough in person to pull it off, nothing stands out as blatantly a problem with how you ran things…maybe a bit too sexual since her problem was not wanting to seem easy (again going back to crossing too far without making it to the finish line on the first date)

    “Her age is probably a problem (33) as she will most likely be looking to settle down.”

    …well shit, there’s your problem lol Combine that with her internet stalking you and she may actually be viewing you as potential Provider material and be trying to put you in a dating/boyfriend frame where she won’t put out right away and will make you invest.

    It’s possible to turn it around, but she has a lot riding on her successfully pulling this off (potential future with kids and a house and shit) so it might be more trouble to you than it’s worth.

    “She wants me to come to a concert with her in a few weeks, but she’s getting a whole group together via a website (so could be friends of hers or strangers looking to meet new people), so I probably won’t go as a) it would be letting her lead and b) there would be no way to monopolise her attention as she’s the organiser and would have to speak to everyone. Probably will only go if we have sex a few times before then.”

    Yup. Perfect mindset on your part. She’s definitely setting you up as Provider material to go do stuff together that isn’t sex. Her logic is “if I have sex he’ll be done with me, but if we do a bunch of date stuff and get to know eachother I’ll win him over and he’ll want to commit to me and date me and then I’ll reward him with sex”. But that’s her getting what she wants out of the relationship without you getting what you want lol

    Also you are dead-on that she’ll spend half the event ignoring you and being swarmed with attention. When a girl invites you to something, especially when you haven’t had sex yet, she’ll NEVER invite you to like, a quite one on one isolated booth in a bar beside your apartment lol She’ll always pick somewhere where she has high value and probably some orbiter dudes chasing her for you to compete with and it’ll be in some difficult-to-pull scenario where you can’t just whisk her away to bang or she’ll be too tired after to bang etc.

    You don’t have to be a dick about it (because that’ll sound like you’re butthurt that she didn’t put out), you can just be like “can’t make it, got to work that night” or something. But definitely don’t go. Once you guys are fucking, THEN you can go to events like that as a reward to her. So it’s basically a frame flip…instead of you going to those events to get the reward of sex from her, she has to have sex with you to get the reward of you going to those events. It’s a small subtle difference but it sets the tone of the relationship and your value.

    “Didn’t text or contact her afterwards, my instinct is not to reward her with too much attention if she’s not willing to go beyond a makeout.”

    Yup, this is the move. You don’t care, you have other girls on the go. She can text you when she decides to smarten up. She knows what she’s doing. She’s also 33, there’s a pretty good chance she’ll cave first if she doesn’t have other prospects lol

    The way I would play this is a long-term plan. No more initiating text conversations with her. She can text you and you respond whenever (I like to mix it up, when she initiates sometimes I’ll respond right away sometimes I’ll let it go for a bit or ignore it completely if it’s a fri/sat night, etc.). You don’t need to initialize conversations with her…if she wants your attention she can have sex with you lol

    She’ll probably test you by also no initializing to see if your frame will crack and you’ll text her (esp if you get drunk/horny on the weekend). So it’d probably be 1-2 weeks of silence between both of you…but then usually they re-initiate by playing the shaming angle to put you on the defensive. So they’ll re-initiate with some idle chat but then call you out flat out “so is this because I didn’t sleep with you?” (if she finds some other guy she probably won’t text at all, but again at 33 she probably doesn’t have a lot of prospects)

    If she uses that attack on you, the counter for it is to respond completely non-butthurt but also not acknowledge the sex stuff. Just lol and be like “lol what? No I don’t play games. You’re fun, I like our chemistry, I just have a lot going on right now.” and act like nothing happened and like you didn’t just ignore eachother for 2 weeks…but stick to not initiating texts.

    So the mindset is “if you want to talk to me, go ahead and text me and I’ll respond and there’s no hard feelings about the sex or anything…but if you don’t text me, I won’t text you.” Like 100% passive on your end.

    Also I wouldn’t initiate any meetups. I would just chat and flirt over text until she initiates a meeup, and then turn it down but after THAT initiate a meetup. So it’s like once she shows that she’s willing to chase you, you turn it down because it’ll either be to an event that’s on her terms like I said earlier or it’ll be an invite she has no intention of keeping she just want to see if you’ll bite and then she’ll flake on it…but you know she’s hooked far enough at that point that a few days or a week later you can initiate a meetup on your terms (just do the same shit you did before, meet up for a drink near your place, maybe at a different venue).

    The frustration for her comes from her knowing that you don’t care about her enough to chase her, but that you DO like her to SOME extent because you respond to her texts and aren’t butthurt sounding. Generally she’ll instinctively want to get you to chase her so she’ll dangle more and more in front of you trying to get you to take the bait…until what she’s dangling in front of you is another meetup…but you turn that down and she’s like “wtf!! not even THAT got him to chase??” So when you finally invite her out again, she’s like “ok I’ll show him, I’m going to dress so sexy that he finally chases me!!” which is retarded chick logic but it benefits you because now she’s coming into the date attempting to seduce you to the point where you’ll chase her, so all you do is play a little hard to get on the date till she’s throwing herself at you and then you just let her win you over and escalate hard and fast and she’s ended up turning herself on and investing so much herself that she ends up going along with it.

    So to summarize:

    – Expect this plan to take 2-6 weeks to pull off, possibly 8 weeks, so mentally prepare yourself for weeks of total silence between you two (go get other girls you can text to avoid wanting to text her every few days) and mentally prepare yourself for not seeing her or getting to stick your dick in her for a solid 4+ weeks. Like the mental part of this is big and can sabotage you, so just in your head picture placing her on a slow track way off in the distance or whatever.

    – No initiating conversations (txt, email, phone calls, nothing)

    – Reply like everything is normal when she initiates, flirt a bit, ignore some texts, leave conversations mid-text, etc.

    – No initiating meetups

    – Turn down all the invites she extends until she extends a legit date invite (one on one you and her, none of this internet website group meetup shit). She may start by inviting you to group event stuff, but turn those down

    – Once she finally invites you to a one on one date, turn it down

    – A week later invite her out on a one on one date on your terms. Odds are extremely high she’ll accept at this point

    – No kiss when you first see her, play it a bit aloof like you have other shit going on, and then let her seduce you over drinks and when she’s giving you heavy flirting, turn it on and pounce and escalate. At this point you shouldn’t get ASD, because now she’s seen that if she doesn’t lock you down you won’t chase her and none of her other shit to lock you down worked so sex is the only option left for her

    This sounds like a lot of work but objectively it’s pretty passive and non-time-consuming. You’re basically treating her like an ugly female friend or an annoying relative where you’ll answer their texts here and there but you’re not going to go out of your way to set up a meetup with them lol


    • YaReally
      on October 29, 2014 at 7:02 am
      Original Link

      @Truman
      “As it turned out, she texted me a few days later asking to meet up, which I took as a big IOI. I couldn’t do the first night she suggested, she accepted my counter-proposal (another good sign), we met up around midnight after I’d seen my other friends, and banged a few hours later”

      lol. You basically instinctively did what I explained, it just happened a lot faster than I figured, but the keys are there:

      She initiated texts, and initiated a one-on-one meetup (so you slid right into the “once she finally invites you to a one on one date” stage), you turned it down and then invited her out on your terms, you spent time with other friends showing you have other shit going on (since you were possibly with girls etc.) and she was much more receptive to sex.

      She’ll try to make you her boyfriend now lol Don’t see her more than once a week and don’t do activities together that don’t involve having sex unless you want her to fall in love and give you The Ultimatum that she can’t keep seeing you if you won’t commit to being her monogamous boyfriend. It usually happens faster with 30+yo chicks, esp if they like you enough to make the stages of this whole turnaround only take a few days.



The Femme Fatale Test: A Game Routine

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via Heartiste

Truman
on October 17, 2014 at 6:07 am
Original Link

FR for yareally and his disciples, or anybody else with useful input.

Day 2 with Greek 6.5 (day 1 was semi-cold approach, 6 hours of booze-fueled flirty banter and kino, followed by make out on street and in cab. We shared a cab back as we live nearby, but she wouldn’t come back to my place).

Arrived at wine bar a few min late (not deliberately), she was standing waiting, grabbed her head and kissed her on the lips. Since we had made out before, figured I could risk it. She was a bit shocked, I wanted to be first to pull back but she pulled back after ~1s, laughed and said “what are you doing?”. I said with a smile “that’s how I say hello to everybody”, but I could feel myself blushing. On balance it was an ok opener and didn’t do any harm, but nothing amazing.

We got wine and sat outside. Convo was reasonably fun for 1.5 hours, mix of joking around and getting-to-know-you chit chat. A couple of extracts:

At one point we were both playfully refusing to be the first one to reveal our age.
Her: Tell me your age, I thought British guys were real gentlemen
Me (laughing/smirking, shaking head): no, not really
Her (seeming genuinely confused): no? who is that then?
Me: well maybe some of us are, but not this one
Her: oooh ok
Me: you should tell me your age, I thought Greek girls were more submissive
Her (shocked/laughing): submissive?! How many Greek girls do you know?!
Me: listed a few made-up names similar to her name
Her: come on, tell me your age
Me: why don’t you go and get us another glass of wine?
Her: me go and get it on my own? When you got us wine, I came with you!
Me: Haha you didn’t have to
Her: yes, you said “come on, let’s get some wine”
Me: is that how it works, I tell you something and you do it?
Her: um, yeah
Me: well now I’m telling you to go and get us some wine!
Her: (laughs)

After discussing what she’d learnt by stalking me on the internet, she asked me to guess something about her, so I looked her up and down and said “you prefer to give oral sex rather than receiving it”. This got a big laugh and she was shocked again, she asked “do you like to take risks and see how people react?”

After wine bar we walked arm in arm and I led her to my place (5min walk), but she wouldn’t come in. As we entered my street she asked “where are we going?”, I said jokily “what a coincidence, this is my street” (maybe drawing too much attention to it here). We kissed on the street for a few mins, got moderately heated when I backed her against the wall, then she said “ok”, signalling to stop. Tried to get her in a couple of times, e.g. said we would go to another bar and I should just quickly go inside for cigarettes, she said “do you really have cigarettes?”, I laughed and said “no, it’s just an excuse to get you to come inside” (again, maybe too explicit). Another attempt, she still resisted, I said “why not?”
Her: because I don’t know you that well
me: we’re getting to know each other
Her: yes, *outside* your place
me: do you think I would think less of you if you did?
Her: no, I don’t care about that
me: good
*more making out, got heavier*

After that she still wouldn’t come inside, so I walked her back to the metro.

Don’t know what I could’ve done much better here. Convo flowed decently well, although not sparkling, and I sexualised the conversation from time to time (which spiked her emotions) while going back to normal topics, and I tried several times to get her in the door, and I don’t think I was needy. Had good eye contact and tried to speak slowly and deliberately rather than quickly/nervously (not sure how well I did this as it’s easy to forget about it when you’re actually there), while keeping a fun positive vibe. She was laughing and smiling a lot, playing along with my games and playing some of her own, and seemed quite in to the makeout. Could perhaps have done more push-pull, don’t think I really did that or really know how, and more challenging of her, qualifying her to me. Her age is probably a problem (33) as she will most likely be looking to settle down.

Didn’t text or contact her afterwards, my instinct is not to reward her with too much attention if she’s not willing to go beyond a makeout. Probably we’ll see each other again after a week or so. She wants me to come to a concert with her in a few weeks, but she’s getting a whole group together via a website (so could be friends of hers or strangers looking to meet new people), so I probably won’t go as a) it would be letting her lead and b) there would be no way to monopolise her attention as she’s the organiser and would have to speak to everyone. Probably will only go if we have sex a few times before then.


  • YaReally
    on October 28, 2014 at 1:32 pm
    Original Link

    Sorry, I think this will be a confusing read, I have like 4 things going on at once over here so all my thoughts are disjointed and I might be repeating myself or over-explaining (more than I usually do lol):

    “grabbed her head and kissed her on the lips. Since we had made out before, figured I could risk it.”

    A lot of guys make this mistake. When you meet up with her again, you aren’t “resuming” where you were when you last saw her. She’s gone through a million emotional state changes and thought loops since then and is no longer in the same state she was that first time you met…ESPECIALLY if she was drunk at the time…ESPECIALLY if you get CLOSE to sex but don’t quite bang, where she wants to then make a purposeful effort to show you that she isn’t a slut by rejecting your advances when you meet up again.

    I’ve mentioned this before but it’s basically if you can’t see a guaranteed path to the finish line then don’t escalate past a simple romantic light kiss that you end first, to leave her wanting closure/more. She’ll be more down to bang the next time you meet up (and less likely to flake). Whereas if you escalate past that point but something happens and you aren’t able to get all the way to sex, now you have a minefield of Anti-Slut Defense to work through and a higher risk of her flaking on meeting up again.

    So like sometimes the obstacles to the finish line are obvious, like she mentions having to be up for work at 5am the next day or having to babysit her drunk friend tonight, so I know it’s probably not going to happen that night and will keep things to just a romantic kiss. But sometimes it looks like a clear path so you cross that kiss point and then out of nowhere a cockblocking friend or AMOG or some event happens that blocks the path to the finish line…in-field experience helps teach you how to overcome those surprise obstacles to still pull it off, but if those obstacles trip you up then you’ll get this ASD situation.

    So basically view each date as having to start over from scratch and have to re-seduce her. This is another reason why you want to have a solid initial date plan so you can ideally close on that first date…otherwise it can be so much extra work lol

    If you’ve banged her, then ya you can do that and she’ll love it. Or if you ran sick text game right before meeting up and got her in a super attracted turned on state where she’s dying for you to kiss her, then ya you can do that. But if you’re just meeting up like “hey, I’ll be a few min late” “okay see you soon :)” and shit, combined with not getting all the way to sex the last time, it’s better to play it cool and kiss her later on in the date.

    She LIKES you, obviously, since she’s made out with you before and met up with you again…but her ASD wants to make sure you don’t think she’s easy or a slut or that you can just waltz up and escalate on her.

    You’re playing a risky game with some of the stuff you say but since she didn’t run away or anything I’m going to assume you’re charming enough in person to pull it off, nothing stands out as blatantly a problem with how you ran things…maybe a bit too sexual since her problem was not wanting to seem easy (again going back to crossing too far without making it to the finish line on the first date)

    “Her age is probably a problem (33) as she will most likely be looking to settle down.”

    …well shit, there’s your problem lol Combine that with her internet stalking you and she may actually be viewing you as potential Provider material and be trying to put you in a dating/boyfriend frame where she won’t put out right away and will make you invest.

    It’s possible to turn it around, but she has a lot riding on her successfully pulling this off (potential future with kids and a house and shit) so it might be more trouble to you than it’s worth.

    “She wants me to come to a concert with her in a few weeks, but she’s getting a whole group together via a website (so could be friends of hers or strangers looking to meet new people), so I probably won’t go as a) it would be letting her lead and b) there would be no way to monopolise her attention as she’s the organiser and would have to speak to everyone. Probably will only go if we have sex a few times before then.”

    Yup. Perfect mindset on your part. She’s definitely setting you up as Provider material to go do stuff together that isn’t sex. Her logic is “if I have sex he’ll be done with me, but if we do a bunch of date stuff and get to know eachother I’ll win him over and he’ll want to commit to me and date me and then I’ll reward him with sex”. But that’s her getting what she wants out of the relationship without you getting what you want lol

    Also you are dead-on that she’ll spend half the event ignoring you and being swarmed with attention. When a girl invites you to something, especially when you haven’t had sex yet, she’ll NEVER invite you to like, a quite one on one isolated booth in a bar beside your apartment lol She’ll always pick somewhere where she has high value and probably some orbiter dudes chasing her for you to compete with and it’ll be in some difficult-to-pull scenario where you can’t just whisk her away to bang or she’ll be too tired after to bang etc.

    You don’t have to be a dick about it (because that’ll sound like you’re butthurt that she didn’t put out), you can just be like “can’t make it, got to work that night” or something. But definitely don’t go. Once you guys are fucking, THEN you can go to events like that as a reward to her. So it’s basically a frame flip…instead of you going to those events to get the reward of sex from her, she has to have sex with you to get the reward of you going to those events. It’s a small subtle difference but it sets the tone of the relationship and your value.

    “Didn’t text or contact her afterwards, my instinct is not to reward her with too much attention if she’s not willing to go beyond a makeout.”

    Yup, this is the move. You don’t care, you have other girls on the go. She can text you when she decides to smarten up. She knows what she’s doing. She’s also 33, there’s a pretty good chance she’ll cave first if she doesn’t have other prospects lol

    The way I would play this is a long-term plan. No more initiating text conversations with her. She can text you and you respond whenever (I like to mix it up, when she initiates sometimes I’ll respond right away sometimes I’ll let it go for a bit or ignore it completely if it’s a fri/sat night, etc.). You don’t need to initialize conversations with her…if she wants your attention she can have sex with you lol

    She’ll probably test you by also no initializing to see if your frame will crack and you’ll text her (esp if you get drunk/horny on the weekend). So it’d probably be 1-2 weeks of silence between both of you…but then usually they re-initiate by playing the shaming angle to put you on the defensive. So they’ll re-initiate with some idle chat but then call you out flat out “so is this because I didn’t sleep with you?” (if she finds some other guy she probably won’t text at all, but again at 33 she probably doesn’t have a lot of prospects)

    If she uses that attack on you, the counter for it is to respond completely non-butthurt but also not acknowledge the sex stuff. Just lol and be like “lol what? No I don’t play games. You’re fun, I like our chemistry, I just have a lot going on right now.” and act like nothing happened and like you didn’t just ignore eachother for 2 weeks…but stick to not initiating texts.

    So the mindset is “if you want to talk to me, go ahead and text me and I’ll respond and there’s no hard feelings about the sex or anything…but if you don’t text me, I won’t text you.” Like 100% passive on your end.

    Also I wouldn’t initiate any meetups. I would just chat and flirt over text until she initiates a meeup, and then turn it down but after THAT initiate a meetup. So it’s like once she shows that she’s willing to chase you, you turn it down because it’ll either be to an event that’s on her terms like I said earlier or it’ll be an invite she has no intention of keeping she just want to see if you’ll bite and then she’ll flake on it…but you know she’s hooked far enough at that point that a few days or a week later you can initiate a meetup on your terms (just do the same shit you did before, meet up for a drink near your place, maybe at a different venue).

    The frustration for her comes from her knowing that you don’t care about her enough to chase her, but that you DO like her to SOME extent because you respond to her texts and aren’t butthurt sounding. Generally she’ll instinctively want to get you to chase her so she’ll dangle more and more in front of you trying to get you to take the bait…until what she’s dangling in front of you is another meetup…but you turn that down and she’s like “wtf!! not even THAT got him to chase??” So when you finally invite her out again, she’s like “ok I’ll show him, I’m going to dress so sexy that he finally chases me!!” which is retarded chick logic but it benefits you because now she’s coming into the date attempting to seduce you to the point where you’ll chase her, so all you do is play a little hard to get on the date till she’s throwing herself at you and then you just let her win you over and escalate hard and fast and she’s ended up turning herself on and investing so much herself that she ends up going along with it.

    So to summarize:

    – Expect this plan to take 2-6 weeks to pull off, possibly 8 weeks, so mentally prepare yourself for weeks of total silence between you two (go get other girls you can text to avoid wanting to text her every few days) and mentally prepare yourself for not seeing her or getting to stick your dick in her for a solid 4+ weeks. Like the mental part of this is big and can sabotage you, so just in your head picture placing her on a slow track way off in the distance or whatever.

    – No initiating conversations (txt, email, phone calls, nothing)

    – Reply like everything is normal when she initiates, flirt a bit, ignore some texts, leave conversations mid-text, etc.

    – No initiating meetups

    – Turn down all the invites she extends until she extends a legit date invite (one on one you and her, none of this internet website group meetup shit). She may start by inviting you to group event stuff, but turn those down

    – Once she finally invites you to a one on one date, turn it down

    – A week later invite her out on a one on one date on your terms. Odds are extremely high she’ll accept at this point

    – No kiss when you first see her, play it a bit aloof like you have other shit going on, and then let her seduce you over drinks and when she’s giving you heavy flirting, turn it on and pounce and escalate. At this point you shouldn’t get ASD, because now she’s seen that if she doesn’t lock you down you won’t chase her and none of her other shit to lock you down worked so sex is the only option left for her

    This sounds like a lot of work but objectively it’s pretty passive and non-time-consuming. You’re basically treating her like an ugly female friend or an annoying relative where you’ll answer their texts here and there but you’re not going to go out of your way to set up a meetup with them lol


    • YaReally
      on October 29, 2014 at 7:02 am
      Original Link

      @Truman
      “As it turned out, she texted me a few days later asking to meet up, which I took as a big IOI. I couldn’t do the first night she suggested, she accepted my counter-proposal (another good sign), we met up around midnight after I’d seen my other friends, and banged a few hours later”

      lol. You basically instinctively did what I explained, it just happened a lot faster than I figured, but the keys are there:

      She initiated texts, and initiated a one-on-one meetup (so you slid right into the “once she finally invites you to a one on one date” stage), you turned it down and then invited her out on your terms, you spent time with other friends showing you have other shit going on (since you were possibly with girls etc.) and she was much more receptive to sex.

      She’ll try to make you her boyfriend now lol Don’t see her more than once a week and don’t do activities together that don’t involve having sex unless you want her to fall in love and give you The Ultimatum that she can’t keep seeing you if you won’t commit to being her monogamous boyfriend. It usually happens faster with 30+yo chicks, esp if they like you enough to make the stages of this whole turnaround only take a few days.



Overconfidence Is The Heart Of Game: ❤Science❤ Edition

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 15, 2014 at 4:56 pm
Original Link

For the logical types who have trouble with being more confident than a logical objective analysis of their value would have them believe is justified:

I would simply suggest that the more you go out sarging and the more people from a variety of walks of life you approach and genuinely interact with, the more you’ll realize that your assessment of your value was 1) based on the wrong value system, usually one conditioned into you by society instead of created by your own life experience, and 2) severely underestimated, and that your assessment of other people’s value was 1) again based on the wrong value system that ultimately with time and experience you’ll come to disagree with, and 2) highly overestimated.

Bob the Accountant and I both make idle chat about the weather with a store clerk. Bob sees that interaction as just random meaningless fluff and believes that what he just did offers no value whatsoever, and that a “cool” guy would have blown that clerk’s mind with positive emotions and had him rolling on the floor laughing etc. So Bob doesn’t feel justified in feeling overly confident and high-value.

But I see that interaction as meaningful…that store clerk is probably bored off his ass, he probably didn’t dream of working there when he was growing up. He’s probably dealt with a bunch of retarded customers today. Maybe he knows being a little friendlier and more social will help make customers return to him and increase his business but he’s naturally an introvert and defaults to not saying much and kicks himself after customers leave because he was too inside his head to start a conversation. Maybe he’s tired and just needs a break because he works 2 other jobs to feed his kids.

That idle chat about the weather that I make with him, especially if I can slip in a little joke or observation that makes him smile or chuckle or even give a simple genuine laugh, could be the best part of his day, maybe even his week or month. Maybe it gets the ball rolling for him to be more talkative to his customers. Maybe he repeats what I said to another customer and makes that customer laugh. Maybe it takes his mind off his problems for 2 seconds or cheers him up after a rough day.

So when I make idle chat, I feel like I’m giving a lot more value than Bob feels he’s giving. When I approach a girl at the bar, I’m bringing her TONS of value, I know I’m offering her an amazing experience and laughs and fun and gina tingles etc. She may not take me up on that offer, but in my mind that’s what I’m bringing to the table. It’s like I’m going around handing out bags with a million dollars in them to people. So of course I’ll feel insanely confident and high-value about that…in my mind, I’m making people’s life better.

But Bob often feels like what he’s offering people isn’t worth much, and he feels like he’s approaching people asking for money from them instead of offering it. So he doesn’t feel justified in feeling confident and high-value because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel that way.

Then Bob looks at other guys who are “cooler” than him, and he assumes they must be offering millions of dollars to people because he views them as better than himself. But if Bob met enough of those other guys, he would see that they’re really not doing much more than making idle chat about the weather, and in fact they’re often not even managing to do THAT much…if Bob could really, truly objectively see what other people offer compared to what he’s capable of offering, he could see just how high-value he really IS.

Society doesn’t want us to feel high-value. It wants us to always feel bad and like we aren’t good enough. The entire marketing/advertising industry is based around “sure, you felt good in those shoes before, but guess what those shoes are no good anymore, you need these NEW shoes if you want to feel like you have value”, and we’re fed positive reinforcement by a beta-izing society that tells us we should always be humble and never brag etc. because we should be ashamed of being cocky or scared to risk offending someone by seeming arrogant.

So we learn to de-value what we ACTUALLY bring to the table, and that makes it hard to see how much we really have to offer the world around us.

And I’m just talking about making idle small talk with a clever joke thrown in. I’m not even talking about DEEPER shit like getting the cabbie you’re spending 10 min in a cab with to talk about his marital issues and his personal fears and doubts about his upcoming fatherhood, or getting the stripper to chill at your table and tell you about her real life because she trusts that you’re the one table she can let the stripper persona down around, or bonding with that store clerk over what it’s like to start a business or move to a new place to try to start a better life and swapping stories with him that make him feel like he isn’t facing shit alone.

When you really understand just how much value you’re offering people by understanding social dynamics and how to build rapport/comfort and bond with people and make them feel deeper emotions than other people do, it’s very easy to justify feeling more confident than people subscribing to the value system of “what car do you drive? how defined is your 6-pack?” believe you should be allowed to.

Human beings want to make a connection with other human beings. Making someone feel like you understand them and they aren’t alone, and being able to guide their emotional state into a positive one is valuable as FUCK. It’s fun, too. If you haven’t been going out, or you’ve been focused on pickup but only on the “getting pussy” side of it, you’re not getting the full experience of what understanding social dynamics offers you. You’re Superman using his heat vision and super-breath, but not realizing he can fly.

I call it delusional confidence because the term is funny to me, but in my head my delusional confidence is really just an accurate assessment of my actual value based on an internal value system that was forged through forcing myself to collect massive social experience. By society’s value system I don’t offer much compared to most guys, but society’s value system is warped and twisted and based on pitting people against eachother instead of helping lift eachother up…I’m alright with being low-value in a system like that and high-value in a system like mine lol


  • Naz
    on October 15, 2014 at 5:44 pm
    Original Link

    Yareally, honest question – you’re at complete freedom to discard of course.
    How come a person who has this great understanding of human dynamics such as yourself couldn’t turn it into success in the business world. Apologies if I’m mistaken here, but I’ve read most of your postings, and my understanding is that you make modest earnings sufficient only to live by, but nothing over that?

    [CH: i know some really creative and smart guys who haven't achieved much conventional success. sometimes it comes down to the turn of the cards.]


    • YaReally
      on October 15, 2014 at 6:23 pm
      Original Link

      @Naz

      http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/9/#comment-heartiste-616681

      The tl;dr version is that I spent my 20s hyperfocused on pickup and I’m just now starting on my career aspirations. A lot of the benefits I gained from studying pickup apply directly to career success (from self-discipline to building rapport with people to understanding networking to confidence and problem-solving etc.), so I fully expect to achieve as much success as I want in life now that I’m starting to work on it.

      I’m also not attempting to become a doctor or anything where it’s required that you need years and years of study to succeed at (if that sort of career is your goal then yes, definitely make it a priority in your 20s, but also try to fit some time in for pursuing pickup…I knew a guy who admitted he only wanted to become a doctor because he thought he’d get a wife out of it and when he found game he realized he wasn’t actually meeting women and school was so time-consuming he couldn’t sarge to learn to meet women but he was too invested in med school to back out…felt bad for the dude). I’m working on running my own personal business based on interests/passions and skills I have. I probably won’t become a millionaire, but I’m alright with that because I’ll be doing what I love and making enough to live the way I like…and I have 20+ years ahead of me to attempt to turn it into something bigger if I decide to.

      And if I REALLY need money, I can always write a book on pickup lol But I like to give the information out for free because when I joined the PUA community all the information was passed around for free and that changed my life. I would also be CAPABLE of going down a lot of career paths toward something that requires social skills like marketing or politics or PR or bartending, etc., but those things aren’t my passion and one of the key things I’ve noticed is that to stay attractive long-term (like in a long-term relationship or when you’re past the point of going out to bars etc.) and overall mentally healthy is that you have to be on your purpose which means working on your personal passions. I could earn faster money doing a lot of jobs, but I’m choosing to build my career around my passions so that when I’m 50 I’m still enjoying my work and still attractive to whatever girl I’ve settled with if I decide to settle, instead of being that 50yo working for someone else in some shitty mindless cubicle job he hates but has to constantly stress he’ll be fired from or replaced by younger employees.

      “and my understanding is that you make modest earnings sufficient only to live by”

      Right now I don’t even make that lol But I’m on track to turning that around over the next year or so. I’m not out sarging as much right now because I have to put in a ton of hours and I’ve already got my pickup skills handled enough that I’m comfortable letting them atrophy a bit to hyperfocus on my career (ie – a fat guy shouldn’t be skipping his gym days, but a buff healthy dude in great shape can ease up on his gym time to focus his attention on other goals). I know and accept that I WILL lose some of my pickup sharpness and have to gain it back a year from now but that’s alright because old reflexes will come back fast and I’ll be doing it while also having my finances/career on track. In the meantime while I work I can get laid via the girls I currently have in rotation, Tinder, and whatever numbers I collect the few nights a month I get to go sarge.

      “but nothing over that?”

      I don’t need much money, I’m a simple guy and a bit of a minimalist. Most of what people are earning money for is frivolous material stuff to me…the valuable things to me in life are experiences, so even if I was making sick bank I would be spending that money on adventures and experiences, not buying a new car or the latest TV.

      (I also secretly like the personal challenge lol you blow a lot of limiting beliefs about life and your own competence/abilities out of the water when you attempt to pull girls while having no money to spend on them, not being able to afford to get wasted and having to cold approach sarge sober, having to try to get them to your apartment as fast as possible to avoid risking having to spend money on another round of drinks, dealing with “you don’t have a car??” shit-tests, own two shirts and one pair of jeans that the girls are going to see you in repeatedly (my shirt is getting holes in it now too lol) etc. and STILL succeeding and doing better than half the chodes at the bar who have all of that stuff and are still getting friendzoned and going home with their dick in their hand)


  • Anonymous
    on October 15, 2014 at 6:21 pm
    Original Link

    nice post yareally

    i see myself in bob, as a natural INTJ personality i dont like small talk at all and have to consciously make an effort to do it. this is good motivation for me to make the effort


    • YaReally
      on October 15, 2014 at 6:29 pm
      Original Link

      @Naz
      response in mod

      @Anonymous
      “this is good motivation for me to make the effort”

      Other INTJs and the people around you not fortunate enough to have access to the learning resources you have access to, NEED you to make that effort because they don’t know how to themselves.

      When I approach a girl, I don’t just think “I’m gonna stick my dick in her”, I think “wow, this girl is lucky, I’m about to save her from having to talk to all these lame chodes. She probably spent $200 in total on her hair, makeup, nails, dress, purse, perfume, shoes, etc. hoping to meet a cool guy tonight and she’s stuck either not being approached or getting approached by lame-asses with no game who don’t know how to give her gina tingles…She NEEDS me to approach her and rescue her from all this.”

      The same applies to talking to store clerks and such. That’s not to say that I’m social 24/7, because I’m naturally introverted so I have plenty of days where I just silently pick up my groceries or grunt out an acknowledgement of something or say something stupid or stifled that doesn’t hit and just feels awkward etc. especially when I’m immersed in work and just heading out for a snack, but I make a conscious effort to try to do it when I remember to, and force myself to do it when I’m focusing on tightening up my pickup skills.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 9:23 pm
      Original Link

      @Thoroughbred
      Solid reframes all around. That’s taking what other people would see as a handicap and figuring out how to actually use it to benefit you. It’s like when a short guy realizes that his height actually makes him peacocked by default which means when he enters the room he’s going to by default get looks/attention and he can capitalize on that and use it to his advantage, whereas a normal looking guy like myself doesn’t turn heads and I have to actively get attention that comes natural to him.

      One way to look at pickup is that the entire point of pickup is to get into a one on one deep conversation with the girl. All the openers and routines and teasing and venue changing and isolating and having reasons to go to your apartment and shit is just to get to the point where you’re one on one alone…THAT’S where the Seduction actually happens. Up till that point it’s all just Attraction which is great but Seduction is the important part.

      So as long as you’re making sure to mix sexual topics into your deep conversations, you have the Seduction half of things basically covered and all you need to learn externally is how to get from “she’s over there talking to some friends and I’m over here” to “now we’re one on one with no one listening to our conversation and she can’t see her friends in her line of sight” and you’re set.

      Open, tease, tell the friends you want to steal her for a drink, get her over to the bar so she’s isolated and go into your deep stuff…don’t even buy her a drink or get her a water and tell her you don’t want her to get drunk because then you can’t take advantage of her later or you want her to remember you etc.

      By the time her friends grab her again you have a solid 5-10 minutes of deep rapport built.

      Or sit beside the girl at the bar and when you order your drink DHV a bit by joking with the bartender a bit louder than you need to or say something offensive about women and provoke a shit-test from her because you know she can hear you. Get her to turn to face you while her friends are talking to themselves.

      Again, by the time her friends grab her again you have a solid 5 minutes of deep rapport built.

      So try to focus on “how can I get her isolated and in an uninterrupted one-on-one conversation with me”, VS trying to learn ALL of the swirly twirly stuff about merging huge sets and trying to take over an entire bar as an older dude. Might shave some learning time off for you.

      Also make sure you’re adding laser eye-contact and silences to your interactions, this is another area where INTJs would have a natural advantage because it’s for the one-on-one conversation stage (a lot of extroverts are too energetic/hyper to focus on someone like this instead of glancing around the room or trying to flood out a million thoughts at one babbling quickly):


  • Goose Gander
    on October 16, 2014 at 10:08 am
    Original Link

    Thanks for this YaReally and CH as well.

    I’ve been thinking about your response and CH’s response to my original post. Your responses both have a similar theme in that both of you urge being less hard on yourself. Don’t be the perfectionist. CH says: “The perfect is the enemy of the poon”. I don’t think he means that the perfect alpha male will turn away girls, but instead that being a perfectionist, being hard on yourself, is a self-limiting barrier to overconfidence; and overconfidence is poon’s friend.

    It’s likely natural that “objective assessors” focus on the negative. After all it’s the flaw in the design that brings the bridge down, not all the good things that have already gone into it. Another issue is information asymmetry. You know about your flaws but you don’t necessarily know about other people’s flaws. As YaReally puts it, this leads you to undervalue yourself and overvalue others.

    These posts have made me change my view on the concept of “overconfidence”. It’s not some kind of fake persona or ruse. It’s the rock solid belief that your are bringing something to every interaction. Your observations, your humour, your philosophy has value so long as you believe it does.

    I no longer believe that overconfidence is irrational confidence that has no objective merit, because the ability to turn off you inner perfect and believe in the value of yourself IS the objective merit that should instill you with all the confidence you need.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 9:12 pm
      Original Link

      @Goose Gander
      “it’s the flaw in the design that brings the bridge down, not all the good things that have already gone into it.”

      Solid analogy, I’ll probably steal it in the future lol

      Glad my post helped. A lot of it is just internal mindsets. It’s why you can take two guys and have them learn external game (the what to say and and all that), but the guy who focuses on all the negative fuckups he makes and refuses to give himself any credit when he’s successful will take forever to improve, while the guy who just makes little mental notes of stuff to work on when he fucks up and gives himself massive credit for even having the balls to attempt cold approaching a girl or trying to pull her to bang within a few hours etc., makes massive strides and both are at very different places a year later.

      I’ve been gaming with a buddy who had massive lopsided beliefs about other guys. He assumed every guy had decent game and if a guy was good looking or dressed cool then he must definitely have amazing game and he’d back off when other guys entered his sets because he’d assume the guy has higher-value than him and the girl would want him more and he thought Vegas was full of cool pimp player dudes who were all badass like it’s a bunch of Ocean’s Eleven Clooney’s and Pitts running around macking girls.

      Then I made him pay more attention to guys in the bars and we befriended some of them and threw girls at them and we won a few battles with guys over girls and he actually went to Vegas and was shell-shocked that he didn’t see any of the cool guys there that he assumed were there, just a lot of good looking rich chodes.

      Now, because he’s got a lot more reference experience from the field, he realizes he was giving other guys WAY too much credit. Most people are just putting on a facade in public, hoping no one looks close enough to see through it. Being able to chat up strangers and make them feel good, let alone to the point where girls want to fuck you, is a rare skillset these days, especially in large cities where everyone feels isolated in a crowd.


  • superfligh
    on October 16, 2014 at 10:22 am
    Original Link

    ” your assessment of your value was 1) based on the wrong value system, usually one conditioned into you by society instead of created by your own life experience”

    i thought if you don’t roll at exclusive high-end clubs in the latest fashions downing the coolest booze for free pulling all the chode’s HB10s you were a loser. guess you changed your mind. what a relief.

    ” Maybe he knows being a little friendlier and more social will help make customers return to him and increase his business”

    he couldn’t care less unless he owns the joint. while you think you’re impressing him with your witty banter he’s probably thinking of new ways to rip off the boss. and if he is the boss he’s screwed because once a guy has to jockey the register in his own joint he’s already finished.

    “could be the best part of his day, maybe even his week or month.”

    get over yourself. he couldn’t pick you out of a lineup to save his life.

    ” It’s like I’m going around handing out bags with a million dollars in them to people”

    you’ve never had a million dollars. you have no idea what if feels like.

    “Society doesn’t want us to feel high-value. It wants us to always feel bad and like we aren’t good enough.”

    true. you’re one for a thousand.

    “like getting the cabbie you’re spending 10 min in a cab with to talk about his marital issues and his personal fears and doubts about his upcoming fatherhood, or getting the stripper to chill at your table and tell you about her real life because she trusts that you’re the one table she can let the stripper persona down around, or bonding with that store clerk over what it’s like to start a business or move to a new place to try to start a better life and swapping stories with him that make him feel like he isn’t facing shit alone.”

    i want the cabbie to focus on driving, the stripper to take off her clothes and the clerk to ring me up correctly. people can barely do their jobs at it is, never mind adding the distraction of people like you asking them for their life story. and avoiding the fact that we are all alone doesn’t change it. read a bit about death and the brain in your introvert time.

    “own two shirts and one pair of jeans that the girls are going to see you in repeatedly (my shirt is getting holes in it now too lol) etc”

    pretty sure all those high-end clubs have dress codes. lose all your fly stuff on the way home from the dry cleaners?

    “YaReally is a fucking legend. The philosophy he espouses blows away all the mainstream yoga hippie bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

    he’s making it up as he goes just like they are. and flip-flopping back and forth between high end baller and minimalist skittles man is a giant hole in his “i turn down hot virgins” story. kind of like how kant went from money spending beta orbiter who got a lucky drunk friend lay once in a while to the slayer that pulls 3+ new babes a week and just has to walk down the street, tap one on the shoulder and he’ll close her in a park bathroom thirty minutes later.

    when people type so much bs they can’t even remember their own ramblings it’s time to get new handles.

    “And if I REALLY need money, I can always write a book on pickup lol ”

    thanks for the rsd link. it had been too long.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 8:59 pm
      Original Link

      @superfligh

      lol ok I’ll bite, I haven’t had a hater in a while:

      “i thought if you don’t roll at exclusive high-end clubs in the latest fashions downing the coolest booze for free pulling all the chode’s HB10s you were a loser. guess you changed your mind. what a relief.”

      lol I’ve never said that, I’ve always maintained that whatever your goals are is cool as long as they’re your goals and you’re working on them. If you want to do daygame or social circle games there are pros and cons to that in terms of learning speed and opportunity/results that you should be aware of, but whatever gets you further toward your goals is fine. And I support LTRs as long as they’re on your terms and allow you enough freedom to be happy (and don’t get legally tied down).

      But you reading my stuff and interpreting it that way says a lot about you and your own mindsets.

      “while you think you’re impressing him with your witty banter he’s probably thinking of new ways to rip off the boss.”

      Entirely possible. But personally I prefer a positive mindset over your angry negative one. I just don’t see the need to walk around with all that anger. If it works for you, you do your thing, but it’s a waste to me.

      “you’ve never had a million dollars. you have no idea what if feels like.”

      There are pros and cons to it. Just watch the instability of a lot of celebrities. People who haven’t had money tend to assume money solves all problems and having a million dollars means they’d have no more problems and just be happy all the time. People who’ve had it can tell you that there are downsides to it.

      “pretty sure all those high-end clubs have dress codes.”

      I have a dress shirt and a t-shirt, the t-shirt has the holes. I wear the dress shirt to the high-end clubs until I know enough people to wear my t-shirt. Dress codes are to keep out ugly people and people who don’t “belong” there and potential trouble-makers etc. When the staff know you or if you just approach them in a cool way (chatting up people in line helps, bringing a fun group of people with you, etc.), you can break most of the rules.

      The rules in those environments are all just an illusion. Smoke & mirrors.

      “flip-flopping back and forth between high end baller and minimalist skittles man”

      I don’t flip-flop, it’s all very straight-forward: I live a minimalist lifestyle which means I don’t have to earn much money to live comfortably, and I use my social skills to allow me access to scenes that a guy like me wouldn’t normally be in. A night out at a high-end nightclub costs me the same amount as a night out at the local pub…price of a couple beers, cover if I don’t know the staff, and the rest of the night I’m in sets talking to people. If I sarge sober and live within walking distance of the bars then I can spend pretty much nothing lol

      You just read sloppily because you want to hate me so bad that you’re cramming square pegs into round holes and exaggerating shit in your head to feed that image of me you hate. Same reason you exaggerate what Kant has actually said/claimed. It’s the same thing other guys do when they talk shit about how “YaReally says he slays a dozen 10s a night in Hollywood nightclubs and chugs million dollar bottles of chode’s champaign”. I’ve never actually said anything like that lol

      But feel free to assume the worst, it doesn’t really bother me and assuming the worst is clearly the more comfortable headspace for you. Other people are smart enough to make up their own minds about what I write and take whatever useful parts from it they can.


  • Sentient
    on October 16, 2014 at 11:54 am
    Original Link

    Outstanding post… And this is tremendous foresight and wisdom…

    ” I’m choosing to build my career around my passions so that when I’m 50 I’m still enjoying my work and still attractive to whatever girl I’ve settled with if I decide to settle, instead of being that 50yo working for someone else in some shitty mindless cubicle job he hates but has to constantly stress he’ll be fired from or replaced by younger employees.”

    Hypergamy never rests after all…

    My new opener is going to be “You look like you would like a million dollars”…

    http://giphy.com/gifs/applause-clapping-CNzD4MLrvQ1Gw


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 9:03 pm
      Original Link

      “Hypergamy never rests after all…”

      I would say that this is literally the most important rule guys in relationships need to understand. A lot of guys fall into the belief that their girl will always see them as the same value she saw them when they first met, no matter how lame and boring and beta and off-purpose he lets himself become.

      Then their girl trades up because the guy she’s married to 5 years in isn’t the same alpha badass purposeful guy she was attracted to when they first started dating. He calls her an ungrateful whore for cheating, but she’s just following her hypergamy the way she was when they first met, except that he let himself go thinking he had “won the game”.



Overconfidence Is The Heart Of Game: ❤Science❤ Edition

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 15, 2014 at 4:56 pm
Original Link

For the logical types who have trouble with being more confident than a logical objective analysis of their value would have them believe is justified:

I would simply suggest that the more you go out sarging and the more people from a variety of walks of life you approach and genuinely interact with, the more you’ll realize that your assessment of your value was 1) based on the wrong value system, usually one conditioned into you by society instead of created by your own life experience, and 2) severely underestimated, and that your assessment of other people’s value was 1) again based on the wrong value system that ultimately with time and experience you’ll come to disagree with, and 2) highly overestimated.

Bob the Accountant and I both make idle chat about the weather with a store clerk. Bob sees that interaction as just random meaningless fluff and believes that what he just did offers no value whatsoever, and that a “cool” guy would have blown that clerk’s mind with positive emotions and had him rolling on the floor laughing etc. So Bob doesn’t feel justified in feeling overly confident and high-value.

But I see that interaction as meaningful…that store clerk is probably bored off his ass, he probably didn’t dream of working there when he was growing up. He’s probably dealt with a bunch of retarded customers today. Maybe he knows being a little friendlier and more social will help make customers return to him and increase his business but he’s naturally an introvert and defaults to not saying much and kicks himself after customers leave because he was too inside his head to start a conversation. Maybe he’s tired and just needs a break because he works 2 other jobs to feed his kids.

That idle chat about the weather that I make with him, especially if I can slip in a little joke or observation that makes him smile or chuckle or even give a simple genuine laugh, could be the best part of his day, maybe even his week or month. Maybe it gets the ball rolling for him to be more talkative to his customers. Maybe he repeats what I said to another customer and makes that customer laugh. Maybe it takes his mind off his problems for 2 seconds or cheers him up after a rough day.

So when I make idle chat, I feel like I’m giving a lot more value than Bob feels he’s giving. When I approach a girl at the bar, I’m bringing her TONS of value, I know I’m offering her an amazing experience and laughs and fun and gina tingles etc. She may not take me up on that offer, but in my mind that’s what I’m bringing to the table. It’s like I’m going around handing out bags with a million dollars in them to people. So of course I’ll feel insanely confident and high-value about that…in my mind, I’m making people’s life better.

But Bob often feels like what he’s offering people isn’t worth much, and he feels like he’s approaching people asking for money from them instead of offering it. So he doesn’t feel justified in feeling confident and high-value because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel that way.

Then Bob looks at other guys who are “cooler” than him, and he assumes they must be offering millions of dollars to people because he views them as better than himself. But if Bob met enough of those other guys, he would see that they’re really not doing much more than making idle chat about the weather, and in fact they’re often not even managing to do THAT much…if Bob could really, truly objectively see what other people offer compared to what he’s capable of offering, he could see just how high-value he really IS.

Society doesn’t want us to feel high-value. It wants us to always feel bad and like we aren’t good enough. The entire marketing/advertising industry is based around “sure, you felt good in those shoes before, but guess what those shoes are no good anymore, you need these NEW shoes if you want to feel like you have value”, and we’re fed positive reinforcement by a beta-izing society that tells us we should always be humble and never brag etc. because we should be ashamed of being cocky or scared to risk offending someone by seeming arrogant.

So we learn to de-value what we ACTUALLY bring to the table, and that makes it hard to see how much we really have to offer the world around us.

And I’m just talking about making idle small talk with a clever joke thrown in. I’m not even talking about DEEPER shit like getting the cabbie you’re spending 10 min in a cab with to talk about his marital issues and his personal fears and doubts about his upcoming fatherhood, or getting the stripper to chill at your table and tell you about her real life because she trusts that you’re the one table she can let the stripper persona down around, or bonding with that store clerk over what it’s like to start a business or move to a new place to try to start a better life and swapping stories with him that make him feel like he isn’t facing shit alone.

When you really understand just how much value you’re offering people by understanding social dynamics and how to build rapport/comfort and bond with people and make them feel deeper emotions than other people do, it’s very easy to justify feeling more confident than people subscribing to the value system of “what car do you drive? how defined is your 6-pack?” believe you should be allowed to.

Human beings want to make a connection with other human beings. Making someone feel like you understand them and they aren’t alone, and being able to guide their emotional state into a positive one is valuable as FUCK. It’s fun, too. If you haven’t been going out, or you’ve been focused on pickup but only on the “getting pussy” side of it, you’re not getting the full experience of what understanding social dynamics offers you. You’re Superman using his heat vision and super-breath, but not realizing he can fly.

I call it delusional confidence because the term is funny to me, but in my head my delusional confidence is really just an accurate assessment of my actual value based on an internal value system that was forged through forcing myself to collect massive social experience. By society’s value system I don’t offer much compared to most guys, but society’s value system is warped and twisted and based on pitting people against eachother instead of helping lift eachother up…I’m alright with being low-value in a system like that and high-value in a system like mine lol


  • Naz
    on October 15, 2014 at 5:44 pm
    Original Link

    Yareally, honest question – you’re at complete freedom to discard of course.
    How come a person who has this great understanding of human dynamics such as yourself couldn’t turn it into success in the business world. Apologies if I’m mistaken here, but I’ve read most of your postings, and my understanding is that you make modest earnings sufficient only to live by, but nothing over that?

    [CH: i know some really creative and smart guys who haven’t achieved much conventional success. sometimes it comes down to the turn of the cards.]


    • YaReally
      on October 15, 2014 at 6:23 pm
      Original Link

      @Naz

      http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/9/#comment-heartiste-616681

      The tl;dr version is that I spent my 20s hyperfocused on pickup and I’m just now starting on my career aspirations. A lot of the benefits I gained from studying pickup apply directly to career success (from self-discipline to building rapport with people to understanding networking to confidence and problem-solving etc.), so I fully expect to achieve as much success as I want in life now that I’m starting to work on it.

      I’m also not attempting to become a doctor or anything where it’s required that you need years and years of study to succeed at (if that sort of career is your goal then yes, definitely make it a priority in your 20s, but also try to fit some time in for pursuing pickup…I knew a guy who admitted he only wanted to become a doctor because he thought he’d get a wife out of it and when he found game he realized he wasn’t actually meeting women and school was so time-consuming he couldn’t sarge to learn to meet women but he was too invested in med school to back out…felt bad for the dude). I’m working on running my own personal business based on interests/passions and skills I have. I probably won’t become a millionaire, but I’m alright with that because I’ll be doing what I love and making enough to live the way I like…and I have 20+ years ahead of me to attempt to turn it into something bigger if I decide to.

      And if I REALLY need money, I can always write a book on pickup lol But I like to give the information out for free because when I joined the PUA community all the information was passed around for free and that changed my life. I would also be CAPABLE of going down a lot of career paths toward something that requires social skills like marketing or politics or PR or bartending, etc., but those things aren’t my passion and one of the key things I’ve noticed is that to stay attractive long-term (like in a long-term relationship or when you’re past the point of going out to bars etc.) and overall mentally healthy is that you have to be on your purpose which means working on your personal passions. I could earn faster money doing a lot of jobs, but I’m choosing to build my career around my passions so that when I’m 50 I’m still enjoying my work and still attractive to whatever girl I’ve settled with if I decide to settle, instead of being that 50yo working for someone else in some shitty mindless cubicle job he hates but has to constantly stress he’ll be fired from or replaced by younger employees.

      “and my understanding is that you make modest earnings sufficient only to live by”

      Right now I don’t even make that lol But I’m on track to turning that around over the next year or so. I’m not out sarging as much right now because I have to put in a ton of hours and I’ve already got my pickup skills handled enough that I’m comfortable letting them atrophy a bit to hyperfocus on my career (ie – a fat guy shouldn’t be skipping his gym days, but a buff healthy dude in great shape can ease up on his gym time to focus his attention on other goals). I know and accept that I WILL lose some of my pickup sharpness and have to gain it back a year from now but that’s alright because old reflexes will come back fast and I’ll be doing it while also having my finances/career on track. In the meantime while I work I can get laid via the girls I currently have in rotation, Tinder, and whatever numbers I collect the few nights a month I get to go sarge.

      “but nothing over that?”

      I don’t need much money, I’m a simple guy and a bit of a minimalist. Most of what people are earning money for is frivolous material stuff to me…the valuable things to me in life are experiences, so even if I was making sick bank I would be spending that money on adventures and experiences, not buying a new car or the latest TV.

      (I also secretly like the personal challenge lol you blow a lot of limiting beliefs about life and your own competence/abilities out of the water when you attempt to pull girls while having no money to spend on them, not being able to afford to get wasted and having to cold approach sarge sober, having to try to get them to your apartment as fast as possible to avoid risking having to spend money on another round of drinks, dealing with “you don’t have a car??” shit-tests, own two shirts and one pair of jeans that the girls are going to see you in repeatedly (my shirt is getting holes in it now too lol) etc. and STILL succeeding and doing better than half the chodes at the bar who have all of that stuff and are still getting friendzoned and going home with their dick in their hand)


  • Anonymous
    on October 15, 2014 at 6:21 pm
    Original Link

    nice post yareally

    i see myself in bob, as a natural INTJ personality i dont like small talk at all and have to consciously make an effort to do it. this is good motivation for me to make the effort


    • YaReally
      on October 15, 2014 at 6:29 pm
      Original Link

      @Naz
      response in mod

      @Anonymous
      “this is good motivation for me to make the effort”

      Other INTJs and the people around you not fortunate enough to have access to the learning resources you have access to, NEED you to make that effort because they don’t know how to themselves.

      When I approach a girl, I don’t just think “I’m gonna stick my dick in her”, I think “wow, this girl is lucky, I’m about to save her from having to talk to all these lame chodes. She probably spent $200 in total on her hair, makeup, nails, dress, purse, perfume, shoes, etc. hoping to meet a cool guy tonight and she’s stuck either not being approached or getting approached by lame-asses with no game who don’t know how to give her gina tingles…She NEEDS me to approach her and rescue her from all this.”

      The same applies to talking to store clerks and such. That’s not to say that I’m social 24/7, because I’m naturally introverted so I have plenty of days where I just silently pick up my groceries or grunt out an acknowledgement of something or say something stupid or stifled that doesn’t hit and just feels awkward etc. especially when I’m immersed in work and just heading out for a snack, but I make a conscious effort to try to do it when I remember to, and force myself to do it when I’m focusing on tightening up my pickup skills.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 9:23 pm
      Original Link

      @Thoroughbred
      Solid reframes all around. That’s taking what other people would see as a handicap and figuring out how to actually use it to benefit you. It’s like when a short guy realizes that his height actually makes him peacocked by default which means when he enters the room he’s going to by default get looks/attention and he can capitalize on that and use it to his advantage, whereas a normal looking guy like myself doesn’t turn heads and I have to actively get attention that comes natural to him.

      One way to look at pickup is that the entire point of pickup is to get into a one on one deep conversation with the girl. All the openers and routines and teasing and venue changing and isolating and having reasons to go to your apartment and shit is just to get to the point where you’re one on one alone…THAT’S where the Seduction actually happens. Up till that point it’s all just Attraction which is great but Seduction is the important part.

      So as long as you’re making sure to mix sexual topics into your deep conversations, you have the Seduction half of things basically covered and all you need to learn externally is how to get from “she’s over there talking to some friends and I’m over here” to “now we’re one on one with no one listening to our conversation and she can’t see her friends in her line of sight” and you’re set.

      Open, tease, tell the friends you want to steal her for a drink, get her over to the bar so she’s isolated and go into your deep stuff…don’t even buy her a drink or get her a water and tell her you don’t want her to get drunk because then you can’t take advantage of her later or you want her to remember you etc.

      By the time her friends grab her again you have a solid 5-10 minutes of deep rapport built.

      Or sit beside the girl at the bar and when you order your drink DHV a bit by joking with the bartender a bit louder than you need to or say something offensive about women and provoke a shit-test from her because you know she can hear you. Get her to turn to face you while her friends are talking to themselves.

      Again, by the time her friends grab her again you have a solid 5 minutes of deep rapport built.

      So try to focus on “how can I get her isolated and in an uninterrupted one-on-one conversation with me”, VS trying to learn ALL of the swirly twirly stuff about merging huge sets and trying to take over an entire bar as an older dude. Might shave some learning time off for you.

      Also make sure you’re adding laser eye-contact and silences to your interactions, this is another area where INTJs would have a natural advantage because it’s for the one-on-one conversation stage (a lot of extroverts are too energetic/hyper to focus on someone like this instead of glancing around the room or trying to flood out a million thoughts at one babbling quickly):


  • Goose Gander
    on October 16, 2014 at 10:08 am
    Original Link

    Thanks for this YaReally and CH as well.

    I’ve been thinking about your response and CH’s response to my original post. Your responses both have a similar theme in that both of you urge being less hard on yourself. Don’t be the perfectionist. CH says: “The perfect is the enemy of the poon”. I don’t think he means that the perfect alpha male will turn away girls, but instead that being a perfectionist, being hard on yourself, is a self-limiting barrier to overconfidence; and overconfidence is poon’s friend.

    It’s likely natural that “objective assessors” focus on the negative. After all it’s the flaw in the design that brings the bridge down, not all the good things that have already gone into it. Another issue is information asymmetry. You know about your flaws but you don’t necessarily know about other people’s flaws. As YaReally puts it, this leads you to undervalue yourself and overvalue others.

    These posts have made me change my view on the concept of “overconfidence”. It’s not some kind of fake persona or ruse. It’s the rock solid belief that your are bringing something to every interaction. Your observations, your humour, your philosophy has value so long as you believe it does.

    I no longer believe that overconfidence is irrational confidence that has no objective merit, because the ability to turn off you inner perfect and believe in the value of yourself IS the objective merit that should instill you with all the confidence you need.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 9:12 pm
      Original Link

      @Goose Gander
      “it’s the flaw in the design that brings the bridge down, not all the good things that have already gone into it.”

      Solid analogy, I’ll probably steal it in the future lol

      Glad my post helped. A lot of it is just internal mindsets. It’s why you can take two guys and have them learn external game (the what to say and and all that), but the guy who focuses on all the negative fuckups he makes and refuses to give himself any credit when he’s successful will take forever to improve, while the guy who just makes little mental notes of stuff to work on when he fucks up and gives himself massive credit for even having the balls to attempt cold approaching a girl or trying to pull her to bang within a few hours etc., makes massive strides and both are at very different places a year later.

      I’ve been gaming with a buddy who had massive lopsided beliefs about other guys. He assumed every guy had decent game and if a guy was good looking or dressed cool then he must definitely have amazing game and he’d back off when other guys entered his sets because he’d assume the guy has higher-value than him and the girl would want him more and he thought Vegas was full of cool pimp player dudes who were all badass like it’s a bunch of Ocean’s Eleven Clooney’s and Pitts running around macking girls.

      Then I made him pay more attention to guys in the bars and we befriended some of them and threw girls at them and we won a few battles with guys over girls and he actually went to Vegas and was shell-shocked that he didn’t see any of the cool guys there that he assumed were there, just a lot of good looking rich chodes.

      Now, because he’s got a lot more reference experience from the field, he realizes he was giving other guys WAY too much credit. Most people are just putting on a facade in public, hoping no one looks close enough to see through it. Being able to chat up strangers and make them feel good, let alone to the point where girls want to fuck you, is a rare skillset these days, especially in large cities where everyone feels isolated in a crowd.


  • superfligh
    on October 16, 2014 at 10:22 am
    Original Link

    ” your assessment of your value was 1) based on the wrong value system, usually one conditioned into you by society instead of created by your own life experience”

    i thought if you don’t roll at exclusive high-end clubs in the latest fashions downing the coolest booze for free pulling all the chode’s HB10s you were a loser. guess you changed your mind. what a relief.

    ” Maybe he knows being a little friendlier and more social will help make customers return to him and increase his business”

    he couldn’t care less unless he owns the joint. while you think you’re impressing him with your witty banter he’s probably thinking of new ways to rip off the boss. and if he is the boss he’s screwed because once a guy has to jockey the register in his own joint he’s already finished.

    “could be the best part of his day, maybe even his week or month.”

    get over yourself. he couldn’t pick you out of a lineup to save his life.

    ” It’s like I’m going around handing out bags with a million dollars in them to people”

    you’ve never had a million dollars. you have no idea what if feels like.

    “Society doesn’t want us to feel high-value. It wants us to always feel bad and like we aren’t good enough.”

    true. you’re one for a thousand.

    “like getting the cabbie you’re spending 10 min in a cab with to talk about his marital issues and his personal fears and doubts about his upcoming fatherhood, or getting the stripper to chill at your table and tell you about her real life because she trusts that you’re the one table she can let the stripper persona down around, or bonding with that store clerk over what it’s like to start a business or move to a new place to try to start a better life and swapping stories with him that make him feel like he isn’t facing shit alone.”

    i want the cabbie to focus on driving, the stripper to take off her clothes and the clerk to ring me up correctly. people can barely do their jobs at it is, never mind adding the distraction of people like you asking them for their life story. and avoiding the fact that we are all alone doesn’t change it. read a bit about death and the brain in your introvert time.

    “own two shirts and one pair of jeans that the girls are going to see you in repeatedly (my shirt is getting holes in it now too lol) etc”

    pretty sure all those high-end clubs have dress codes. lose all your fly stuff on the way home from the dry cleaners?

    “YaReally is a fucking legend. The philosophy he espouses blows away all the mainstream yoga hippie bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

    he’s making it up as he goes just like they are. and flip-flopping back and forth between high end baller and minimalist skittles man is a giant hole in his “i turn down hot virgins” story. kind of like how kant went from money spending beta orbiter who got a lucky drunk friend lay once in a while to the slayer that pulls 3+ new babes a week and just has to walk down the street, tap one on the shoulder and he’ll close her in a park bathroom thirty minutes later.

    when people type so much bs they can’t even remember their own ramblings it’s time to get new handles.

    “And if I REALLY need money, I can always write a book on pickup lol ”

    thanks for the rsd link. it had been too long.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 8:59 pm
      Original Link

      @superfligh

      lol ok I’ll bite, I haven’t had a hater in a while:

      “i thought if you don’t roll at exclusive high-end clubs in the latest fashions downing the coolest booze for free pulling all the chode’s HB10s you were a loser. guess you changed your mind. what a relief.”

      lol I’ve never said that, I’ve always maintained that whatever your goals are is cool as long as they’re your goals and you’re working on them. If you want to do daygame or social circle games there are pros and cons to that in terms of learning speed and opportunity/results that you should be aware of, but whatever gets you further toward your goals is fine. And I support LTRs as long as they’re on your terms and allow you enough freedom to be happy (and don’t get legally tied down).

      But you reading my stuff and interpreting it that way says a lot about you and your own mindsets.

      “while you think you’re impressing him with your witty banter he’s probably thinking of new ways to rip off the boss.”

      Entirely possible. But personally I prefer a positive mindset over your angry negative one. I just don’t see the need to walk around with all that anger. If it works for you, you do your thing, but it’s a waste to me.

      “you’ve never had a million dollars. you have no idea what if feels like.”

      There are pros and cons to it. Just watch the instability of a lot of celebrities. People who haven’t had money tend to assume money solves all problems and having a million dollars means they’d have no more problems and just be happy all the time. People who’ve had it can tell you that there are downsides to it.

      “pretty sure all those high-end clubs have dress codes.”

      I have a dress shirt and a t-shirt, the t-shirt has the holes. I wear the dress shirt to the high-end clubs until I know enough people to wear my t-shirt. Dress codes are to keep out ugly people and people who don’t “belong” there and potential trouble-makers etc. When the staff know you or if you just approach them in a cool way (chatting up people in line helps, bringing a fun group of people with you, etc.), you can break most of the rules.

      The rules in those environments are all just an illusion. Smoke & mirrors.

      “flip-flopping back and forth between high end baller and minimalist skittles man”

      I don’t flip-flop, it’s all very straight-forward: I live a minimalist lifestyle which means I don’t have to earn much money to live comfortably, and I use my social skills to allow me access to scenes that a guy like me wouldn’t normally be in. A night out at a high-end nightclub costs me the same amount as a night out at the local pub…price of a couple beers, cover if I don’t know the staff, and the rest of the night I’m in sets talking to people. If I sarge sober and live within walking distance of the bars then I can spend pretty much nothing lol

      You just read sloppily because you want to hate me so bad that you’re cramming square pegs into round holes and exaggerating shit in your head to feed that image of me you hate. Same reason you exaggerate what Kant has actually said/claimed. It’s the same thing other guys do when they talk shit about how “YaReally says he slays a dozen 10s a night in Hollywood nightclubs and chugs million dollar bottles of chode’s champaign”. I’ve never actually said anything like that lol

      But feel free to assume the worst, it doesn’t really bother me and assuming the worst is clearly the more comfortable headspace for you. Other people are smart enough to make up their own minds about what I write and take whatever useful parts from it they can.


  • Sentient
    on October 16, 2014 at 11:54 am
    Original Link

    Outstanding post… And this is tremendous foresight and wisdom…

    ” I’m choosing to build my career around my passions so that when I’m 50 I’m still enjoying my work and still attractive to whatever girl I’ve settled with if I decide to settle, instead of being that 50yo working for someone else in some shitty mindless cubicle job he hates but has to constantly stress he’ll be fired from or replaced by younger employees.”

    Hypergamy never rests after all…

    My new opener is going to be “You look like you would like a million dollars”…

    http://giphy.com/gifs/applause-clapping-CNzD4MLrvQ1Gw


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2014 at 9:03 pm
      Original Link

      “Hypergamy never rests after all…”

      I would say that this is literally the most important rule guys in relationships need to understand. A lot of guys fall into the belief that their girl will always see them as the same value she saw them when they first met, no matter how lame and boring and beta and off-purpose he lets himself become.

      Then their girl trades up because the guy she’s married to 5 years in isn’t the same alpha badass purposeful guy she was attracted to when they first started dating. He calls her an ungrateful whore for cheating, but she’s just following her hypergamy the way she was when they first met, except that he let himself go thinking he had “won the game”.



Why Online Dating Is Limiting

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 14, 2014 at 7:43 pm
Original Link

Tinder in a college town is a fucking goldmine.

Online game is good text game practice. The reason my text game is sick is because I practiced a shitload on online girls (even ones I didn’t actually intend to meet up with). The same skils directly translate to normal live pickup text game.

Online girls are lower quality in general than what you’ll meet in real life. Anyone saying they’re pulling regular 8+/10 girls online is full of shit unless they live in Vegas…actually it’s possible on Tinder if you live near a university. Tinder is full of prime chicks right now. It’ll be overtaken by fatties and old chicks within a year just like POF when they hear girls can get laid off it. There are legit hotties looking to bone on Tinder.

The 9s and 10s online are generally just on there for validation and entertainment, or to build their social networks and are very hard if not almost impossible to turn things sexual with unless by sheer fluke you happen to be their visual type and happen to catch them on a night they’re horny and have nothing else going on and you manage to meet up with them before they change moods. Best bet is to get them to shit-test you and pass the tests and intrigue them enough to meet up…if they just have pleasant conversation you will never meet up or will be friendzoned asexual. Better to get rejected for being too sexual and aggressive than rejected for being an asexual mangina talking about puppydogs and ice cream.

While online game translates directly to real life text game, online game does NOT translate to actual real life GAME. Having 200 matches on Tinder will not help you cold approach a hottie you see at Starbucks or handle all the obstacles and nuances of pulling a dolled up 9 from a club.

Do not replace going out with online game or you’ll be limiting yourself in the longrun, but feel free to use it as a supplement on the side, especially Tinder because Tinder is a low time investment.

Don’t bother with online game if you’re not white or under 5’9″. It’s going to do more damage to your confidence than anything because as CH’s article explains women are comparing you to an ideal. You aren’t even appearing in her searches. She’s like the “no girl” from a few articles ago. In person you can demonstrate high value and that EXACT same girl will fuck you and tell you she loves that you’re a short Asian midget but online she’ll probably reject you. Don’t waste your time, go socialize and cold approach, you will become way better and more confident than you ever could through online game even if you were banging the 6s and 7s on there.

Don’t waste time. Don’t message back and forth for a month. Go for the number on a high note in your first conversation. She’ll probably shit-test you about it. Learn to hold your frame and pass that shit-test. Getting her number in the first convo instantly sets you apart as a guy who makes shit happen and goes for what he wants, and having a direct line to her personal number makes you a part of her world instead of another name in her inbox. Even on Tinder, where she has the app on her phone and it handles messaging, get her personal number…she can be seduced into sending sexy pics that way (you don’t send any, you’re a man) and when she inevitably deletes her profile you will still be in her contacts. It also lures her away from the site…ie – would you rather that to see your interesting message she goes into her inbox with 200 other guys sending her messages or would you rather she stop opening that inbox because she’s having fun txting you and she doesn’t have to open her inbox to see your txts?

Push for the meetup ASAP and extend it only if you have to. ie – push for coming over for a movie, if she hesitates lol it off and say ok drinks in a public place with witnesses. Don’t offer the public place unless you have to because 1) some girls will be up for coming over if you gamed them solid and 2) even if they want to meet up public you’ve shown your intention so them showing up means they’re potentially interested in getting fucked because they know your intentions.

Pick a venue near your place, don’t go out of your way to meet up…if she won’t bite keep gaming and try again until she does.

Don’t to to a venue she picks. She will always pick a venue where he has high value like a bar she’s a regular in and you have to compete with the charismatic bartenders and other orbiters she knows or girlfriends of hers. Do NOT come to her. If she txts you drunk saying she’s horny and wants you to come to Some Bar, this is a trap. She’s trying to show her friends she can have guys orbit her. She’s probably invited a few guys to see who bites and let them fight over her and she still goes home with her girls. Get her to invest SOMETHING even if it’s “no there’s a line. Meet me at the McDonald’s.” If she’ll go there then she’s down to bone just escalate and take her home. If she won’t and insists you come to her, she’s tooling you just bail and meet up another time on your terms.

Run standard game exactly like you would in person. Build attraction, innuendo/misinterpretation, tease, push/pull, spike their buying temperature, qualify them, disqualify yourself, build deep comfort/rapport, and push the interaction forward. Don’t get caught in pointless conversation, always be progressing the sarge toward the goal. You can lay 90% of the groundwork thru text. A lot of online chicks are cool with one drink to make sure you aren’t a serial killer or 400lbs neckbeard and they’re down to leave to bone with no LMR, if you run solid text game.

You don’t have to respond to every text. Don’t answer stupid shit. Make them qualify to you, put them on their toes. You aren’t impressing them, they’re impressing YOU cause you’re a busy dude with shit to do and they need to give you reasons to give them your time.

There’s some online shit off the top of my head. I used to do a ton of it while also going out when I was hyperfocused. But I’m too busy focusing on career stuff to go out much right now and OKCupid is gay and POF is full of ugly fatties, so I just use Tinder these days because it’s hip with the kids and full of 18-25yos. No ab pics and I’m a generic looking white guy but my profile blurb is clever and I’m in an area with a bunch of college chicks, I’ve had plenty of success on there.

If you’re under 30, decent looking, single (if a girlfriend catches you on tinder like her friend sees you, you’re fucked, it’s a hookup app) and you’re NOT on Tinder, you are an idiot. Like I say, don’t replace going out with Tindering, but use it as a supplement and text game trainer.



Why Online Dating Is Limiting

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 14, 2014 at 7:43 pm
Original Link

Tinder in a college town is a fucking goldmine.

Online game is good text game practice. The reason my text game is sick is because I practiced a shitload on online girls (even ones I didn’t actually intend to meet up with). The same skils directly translate to normal live pickup text game.

Online girls are lower quality in general than what you’ll meet in real life. Anyone saying they’re pulling regular 8+/10 girls online is full of shit unless they live in Vegas…actually it’s possible on Tinder if you live near a university. Tinder is full of prime chicks right now. It’ll be overtaken by fatties and old chicks within a year just like POF when they hear girls can get laid off it. There are legit hotties looking to bone on Tinder.

The 9s and 10s online are generally just on there for validation and entertainment, or to build their social networks and are very hard if not almost impossible to turn things sexual with unless by sheer fluke you happen to be their visual type and happen to catch them on a night they’re horny and have nothing else going on and you manage to meet up with them before they change moods. Best bet is to get them to shit-test you and pass the tests and intrigue them enough to meet up…if they just have pleasant conversation you will never meet up or will be friendzoned asexual. Better to get rejected for being too sexual and aggressive than rejected for being an asexual mangina talking about puppydogs and ice cream.

While online game translates directly to real life text game, online game does NOT translate to actual real life GAME. Having 200 matches on Tinder will not help you cold approach a hottie you see at Starbucks or handle all the obstacles and nuances of pulling a dolled up 9 from a club.

Do not replace going out with online game or you’ll be limiting yourself in the longrun, but feel free to use it as a supplement on the side, especially Tinder because Tinder is a low time investment.

Don’t bother with online game if you’re not white or under 5’9″. It’s going to do more damage to your confidence than anything because as CH’s article explains women are comparing you to an ideal. You aren’t even appearing in her searches. She’s like the “no girl” from a few articles ago. In person you can demonstrate high value and that EXACT same girl will fuck you and tell you she loves that you’re a short Asian midget but online she’ll probably reject you. Don’t waste your time, go socialize and cold approach, you will become way better and more confident than you ever could through online game even if you were banging the 6s and 7s on there.

Don’t waste time. Don’t message back and forth for a month. Go for the number on a high note in your first conversation. She’ll probably shit-test you about it. Learn to hold your frame and pass that shit-test. Getting her number in the first convo instantly sets you apart as a guy who makes shit happen and goes for what he wants, and having a direct line to her personal number makes you a part of her world instead of another name in her inbox. Even on Tinder, where she has the app on her phone and it handles messaging, get her personal number…she can be seduced into sending sexy pics that way (you don’t send any, you’re a man) and when she inevitably deletes her profile you will still be in her contacts. It also lures her away from the site…ie – would you rather that to see your interesting message she goes into her inbox with 200 other guys sending her messages or would you rather she stop opening that inbox because she’s having fun txting you and she doesn’t have to open her inbox to see your txts?

Push for the meetup ASAP and extend it only if you have to. ie – push for coming over for a movie, if she hesitates lol it off and say ok drinks in a public place with witnesses. Don’t offer the public place unless you have to because 1) some girls will be up for coming over if you gamed them solid and 2) even if they want to meet up public you’ve shown your intention so them showing up means they’re potentially interested in getting fucked because they know your intentions.

Pick a venue near your place, don’t go out of your way to meet up…if she won’t bite keep gaming and try again until she does.

Don’t to to a venue she picks. She will always pick a venue where he has high value like a bar she’s a regular in and you have to compete with the charismatic bartenders and other orbiters she knows or girlfriends of hers. Do NOT come to her. If she txts you drunk saying she’s horny and wants you to come to Some Bar, this is a trap. She’s trying to show her friends she can have guys orbit her. She’s probably invited a few guys to see who bites and let them fight over her and she still goes home with her girls. Get her to invest SOMETHING even if it’s “no there’s a line. Meet me at the McDonald’s.” If she’ll go there then she’s down to bone just escalate and take her home. If she won’t and insists you come to her, she’s tooling you just bail and meet up another time on your terms.

Run standard game exactly like you would in person. Build attraction, innuendo/misinterpretation, tease, push/pull, spike their buying temperature, qualify them, disqualify yourself, build deep comfort/rapport, and push the interaction forward. Don’t get caught in pointless conversation, always be progressing the sarge toward the goal. You can lay 90% of the groundwork thru text. A lot of online chicks are cool with one drink to make sure you aren’t a serial killer or 400lbs neckbeard and they’re down to leave to bone with no LMR, if you run solid text game.

You don’t have to respond to every text. Don’t answer stupid shit. Make them qualify to you, put them on their toes. You aren’t impressing them, they’re impressing YOU cause you’re a busy dude with shit to do and they need to give you reasons to give them your time.

There’s some online shit off the top of my head. I used to do a ton of it while also going out when I was hyperfocused. But I’m too busy focusing on career stuff to go out much right now and OKCupid is gay and POF is full of ugly fatties, so I just use Tinder these days because it’s hip with the kids and full of 18-25yos. No ab pics and I’m a generic looking white guy but my profile blurb is clever and I’m in an area with a bunch of college chicks, I’ve had plenty of success on there.

If you’re under 30, decent looking, single (if a girlfriend catches you on tinder like her friend sees you, you’re fucked, it’s a hookup app) and you’re NOT on Tinder, you are an idiot. Like I say, don’t replace going out with Tindering, but use it as a supplement and text game trainer.



A Test Of Your Game: Judging Your Responses To ‘No Girl’

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 10, 2014 at 4:14 pm
Original Link

To clarify: It doesn’t matter whether you have another set to open nearby or not. There are ways to DHV that involve directly DHV’ing to the girl herself or indirectly DHV’ing by doing something in her vicinity (and she’s aware of it) that makes her perceive you as higher value. That’s the binary it comes down to.

When she gives you an instant “NO!”, she’s cut off the ability to DHV directly TO her because she’s backturned you and dismissed you. She’s probably not still engaging with you (I’m talking about legit “NO!” girls not just flirty girls who are shit-testing you), which is why she’s not going to listen to the witty quips/negs/burns/etc. or classify them as anything other than butthurt. You’re basically trying to call the pizza place to put in an order after the place has closed for the night. Even if you have a really convincing reason why you should be delivered a pizza, there’s no one there to answer the phone.

So that leaves you with indirect methods of DHV’ing. The easiest one is Social Proof, which is what I recommend, because it’s the most versatile…anyone can be used for social proof, guys, girls, fat old women, your wingman or bros, a former fuckbuddy, the busboy who collects glasses, the store clerk, a bartender on the other side of an empty bar (in a crowded bar she can’t see you DHV’ing with a bartender on the other side of the room because of the crowd blocking her view)…you can use anyone at all, just be cool and make them smile and it DHVs that you’re a social guy that people like. A classic oldschool move BradP (I think) came up with is to approach the hottest set of girls in the club when you first walk in, using a totally indirect opener asking for advice about your girlfriend so she likely won’t shoot you down, and then pull out your phone and show her a text and send a text while you talk to her…to the people watching (and everyone is watching if it’s early in the night and you just rolled up to the hottest set in the club), it looks like you opened, then got her phone number and showed her the phone to make sure her number was right lol

But if there’s literally NO ONE else in the area, other possibilities are to demonstrate some kind of amazing talent/skill nearby (like dancing solo on an empty dance floor), or try flashing money in some subtle way (tho you risk being categorized as a potential Provider)…or I don’t know, faking a high-value phone call of some kind? This all gets into pretty silly territory quickly because you’re alone and trying to demonstrate high-value when if you were ACTUALLY high-value you probably wouldn’t be alone in the first place lol It’s like trying to use a red crayon to draw something green.

So it’s not that opening another set within earshot, or saying the specific words about losing my virginity, etc. are the magic recipe that works. It’s that logically there are X number of ways to DHV, and the instant “NO!” removes Y percentage of those ways to DHV (all the direct ways are removed), and of the remaining Z number of ways to DHV (the indirect ways that are left), social proof is the easiest and most reliable and versatile and highest percentage play for DHVing indirectly.

1s and 0s, this is all just applying logic.


  • YaReally
    on October 10, 2014 at 5:01 pm
    Original Link

    Also if I was totally FORCED to interact with her, like we were trapped in a stuck elevator with nowhere to go and no one else to interact with, I would go the “woah, relax I have a girlfriend (with a smile)” or “woah, relax, I was just going to ask if you knew the time, my phone is dead and I have an appointment I’m late for (with a smile)” route to totally disqualify myself to then come back in under the radar indirectly over time (ie – I’m disqualifying myself to buy myself potential time to DHV directly).

    But in an environment where we can walk away from eachother, this isn’t as likely to work because in an enclosed environment where we both know we’ll be stuck with eachother for a bit she has more incentive to give me a break and try to make nice so our stay isn’t awkward.

    So of the options listed in the OP, in a scenario where we can both walk away (VS an elevator situ where negs/insults/etc. will increase awkwardness and her fear of being raped lol), the ones that involve MASSIVE disqualification (“woah, relax, I thought you were my girlfriend’s friend, she just died”, “woah, relax, you’re not my type”, “woah, relax, I’m taken”, “woah, relax, I was just going to ask where the bathroom is” etc. type ones) are the ones that are the most likely to work and the type that I use to turn this around when I’ve had no choice, but they’re still just overall going to be a much lower percentage play than social proof because they rely on her active participation (if she’s past a certain “No!” point she won’t believe you or won’t let you even get the words out, if she’s only a half-assed “No!” then she MIGHT) whereas social proof requires nothing from her.

    I say it in a bored voice tone like I’m telling a kid “no you can’t have a rocket ship” for the 100th time, and because I’m older I use an age disqualifier.

    So it looks something like “woah, relax, you’re too young for me. I just want to know where the bathroom is, I have to take a piss. Jesus (in an annoyed tone).” (disqualify her as being too young, and disqualify myself by being crude and just looking for the bathroom). Then if I feel like the opening is there (ie – she answers me with a real answer instead of a brush-off vague point to the bathroom or an “I don’t know”, or she apologizes for brushing me off), I’ll transition into stuff like “shit, you must get hit on a lot to throw the hand up THAT fast. What’s so special about YOU?”

    But even pulling this off takes the right circumstances and a lot of calibration in the moment…if you’re in a crowded bar and it’s natural to open them, sure, they might believe your disqualifying of yourself. But if the bar is mostly empty and you had to walk from across the room to approach their set AND they’re exceptionally hot, they KNOW you don’t really care where the bathroom is so you’re just starting from a handicap entirely (whereas using social proof would allow you to just lol and keep walking and chat whoever’s near them as if they were the ones you really meant to come chat with).

    So I can’t recommend this route over social proof because it’s going to be reliant on a ton of uncontrollable variables and in-the-moment calibration to pull off consistently, VS something like social proof which is inherently more consistently going to work. I always recommend the optimal route first…there’s no reason to get swirly twirly fancy if you can pull off the bee-line for the goal.


  • Will
    on October 10, 2014 at 6:59 pm
    Original Link

    Wtf? I get that pua techniques and game help people get laid…but do you not have any actual value at all… Seriously all of your posts are excellent for game and pua, but it makes it sound like you’re a loser with no actual value.

    9.5/10 times the ‘no girl’ won’t even care….

    The ‘no girl’ is a NEXT. Why the fuck would you a. Get a drink thrown at you (seen it happen many times) and b. Put effort into a bitch like this…

    Find another girl who doesn’t have a stick up your ass and isn’t making your life hard…


    • YaReally
      on October 11, 2014 at 12:10 pm
      Original Link

      “The ‘no girl’ is a NEXT.”

      Can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked. That’s her Next’ing you because your game wasn’t tight enough to turn it around and your butthurt ego wants to protect itself. It’s fine to give up and admit you don’t know how to turn it around, you don’t have to go for every girl, but understand that you are giving up, not Next’ing her, because Next’ing is something you do with a girl you can GET. Giving up is what you do with a girl you were unable to get.

      “Why the fuck would you a. Get a drink thrown at you (seen it happen many times) and b. Put effort into a bitch like this… Find another girl who doesn’t have a stick up your ass and isn’t making your life hard…”

      Because for some guys pickup isn’t just about sex or we’d buy hookers. Why the fuck would you climb Mount Everest when you can climb the hill children play on at the local park?

      Growth comes from challenging yourself.



A Test Of Your Game: Judging Your Responses To ‘No Girl’

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 10, 2014 at 4:14 pm
Original Link

To clarify: It doesn’t matter whether you have another set to open nearby or not. There are ways to DHV that involve directly DHV’ing to the girl herself or indirectly DHV’ing by doing something in her vicinity (and she’s aware of it) that makes her perceive you as higher value. That’s the binary it comes down to.

When she gives you an instant “NO!”, she’s cut off the ability to DHV directly TO her because she’s backturned you and dismissed you. She’s probably not still engaging with you (I’m talking about legit “NO!” girls not just flirty girls who are shit-testing you), which is why she’s not going to listen to the witty quips/negs/burns/etc. or classify them as anything other than butthurt. You’re basically trying to call the pizza place to put in an order after the place has closed for the night. Even if you have a really convincing reason why you should be delivered a pizza, there’s no one there to answer the phone.

So that leaves you with indirect methods of DHV’ing. The easiest one is Social Proof, which is what I recommend, because it’s the most versatile…anyone can be used for social proof, guys, girls, fat old women, your wingman or bros, a former fuckbuddy, the busboy who collects glasses, the store clerk, a bartender on the other side of an empty bar (in a crowded bar she can’t see you DHV’ing with a bartender on the other side of the room because of the crowd blocking her view)…you can use anyone at all, just be cool and make them smile and it DHVs that you’re a social guy that people like. A classic oldschool move BradP (I think) came up with is to approach the hottest set of girls in the club when you first walk in, using a totally indirect opener asking for advice about your girlfriend so she likely won’t shoot you down, and then pull out your phone and show her a text and send a text while you talk to her…to the people watching (and everyone is watching if it’s early in the night and you just rolled up to the hottest set in the club), it looks like you opened, then got her phone number and showed her the phone to make sure her number was right lol

But if there’s literally NO ONE else in the area, other possibilities are to demonstrate some kind of amazing talent/skill nearby (like dancing solo on an empty dance floor), or try flashing money in some subtle way (tho you risk being categorized as a potential Provider)…or I don’t know, faking a high-value phone call of some kind? This all gets into pretty silly territory quickly because you’re alone and trying to demonstrate high-value when if you were ACTUALLY high-value you probably wouldn’t be alone in the first place lol It’s like trying to use a red crayon to draw something green.

So it’s not that opening another set within earshot, or saying the specific words about losing my virginity, etc. are the magic recipe that works. It’s that logically there are X number of ways to DHV, and the instant “NO!” removes Y percentage of those ways to DHV (all the direct ways are removed), and of the remaining Z number of ways to DHV (the indirect ways that are left), social proof is the easiest and most reliable and versatile and highest percentage play for DHVing indirectly.

1s and 0s, this is all just applying logic.


  • YaReally
    on October 10, 2014 at 5:01 pm
    Original Link

    Also if I was totally FORCED to interact with her, like we were trapped in a stuck elevator with nowhere to go and no one else to interact with, I would go the “woah, relax I have a girlfriend (with a smile)” or “woah, relax, I was just going to ask if you knew the time, my phone is dead and I have an appointment I’m late for (with a smile)” route to totally disqualify myself to then come back in under the radar indirectly over time (ie – I’m disqualifying myself to buy myself potential time to DHV directly).

    But in an environment where we can walk away from eachother, this isn’t as likely to work because in an enclosed environment where we both know we’ll be stuck with eachother for a bit she has more incentive to give me a break and try to make nice so our stay isn’t awkward.

    So of the options listed in the OP, in a scenario where we can both walk away (VS an elevator situ where negs/insults/etc. will increase awkwardness and her fear of being raped lol), the ones that involve MASSIVE disqualification (“woah, relax, I thought you were my girlfriend’s friend, she just died”, “woah, relax, you’re not my type”, “woah, relax, I’m taken”, “woah, relax, I was just going to ask where the bathroom is” etc. type ones) are the ones that are the most likely to work and the type that I use to turn this around when I’ve had no choice, but they’re still just overall going to be a much lower percentage play than social proof because they rely on her active participation (if she’s past a certain “No!” point she won’t believe you or won’t let you even get the words out, if she’s only a half-assed “No!” then she MIGHT) whereas social proof requires nothing from her.

    I say it in a bored voice tone like I’m telling a kid “no you can’t have a rocket ship” for the 100th time, and because I’m older I use an age disqualifier.

    So it looks something like “woah, relax, you’re too young for me. I just want to know where the bathroom is, I have to take a piss. Jesus (in an annoyed tone).” (disqualify her as being too young, and disqualify myself by being crude and just looking for the bathroom). Then if I feel like the opening is there (ie – she answers me with a real answer instead of a brush-off vague point to the bathroom or an “I don’t know”, or she apologizes for brushing me off), I’ll transition into stuff like “shit, you must get hit on a lot to throw the hand up THAT fast. What’s so special about YOU?”

    But even pulling this off takes the right circumstances and a lot of calibration in the moment…if you’re in a crowded bar and it’s natural to open them, sure, they might believe your disqualifying of yourself. But if the bar is mostly empty and you had to walk from across the room to approach their set AND they’re exceptionally hot, they KNOW you don’t really care where the bathroom is so you’re just starting from a handicap entirely (whereas using social proof would allow you to just lol and keep walking and chat whoever’s near them as if they were the ones you really meant to come chat with).

    So I can’t recommend this route over social proof because it’s going to be reliant on a ton of uncontrollable variables and in-the-moment calibration to pull off consistently, VS something like social proof which is inherently more consistently going to work. I always recommend the optimal route first…there’s no reason to get swirly twirly fancy if you can pull off the bee-line for the goal.


  • Will
    on October 10, 2014 at 6:59 pm
    Original Link

    Wtf? I get that pua techniques and game help people get laid…but do you not have any actual value at all… Seriously all of your posts are excellent for game and pua, but it makes it sound like you’re a loser with no actual value.

    9.5/10 times the ‘no girl’ won’t even care….

    The ‘no girl’ is a NEXT. Why the fuck would you a. Get a drink thrown at you (seen it happen many times) and b. Put effort into a bitch like this…

    Find another girl who doesn’t have a stick up your ass and isn’t making your life hard…


    • YaReally
      on October 11, 2014 at 12:10 pm
      Original Link

      “The ‘no girl’ is a NEXT.”

      Can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked. That’s her Next’ing you because your game wasn’t tight enough to turn it around and your butthurt ego wants to protect itself. It’s fine to give up and admit you don’t know how to turn it around, you don’t have to go for every girl, but understand that you are giving up, not Next’ing her, because Next’ing is something you do with a girl you can GET. Giving up is what you do with a girl you were unable to get.

      “Why the fuck would you a. Get a drink thrown at you (seen it happen many times) and b. Put effort into a bitch like this… Find another girl who doesn’t have a stick up your ass and isn’t making your life hard…”

      Because for some guys pickup isn’t just about sex or we’d buy hookers. Why the fuck would you climb Mount Everest when you can climb the hill children play on at the local park?

      Growth comes from challenging yourself.



A Test Of Your Game: Judging Your Responses To ‘No Girl’

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on October 10, 2014 at 7:53 pm
Original Link

FR from last night’s first date with a MILFy online HB7 – no questions as such, just interesting and a couple things I don’t understand, because it was my first time experiencing what YaReally says about disqualifying yourself as a Provider and how it can help.

Bottom line: Meeting to toilet BJ in 1 hr 45 min.

All the key points were there – it was really a standard (good) date – usual DHV stories, usual kino (good responses, no resistance, kiss first time) etc. Not worth repeating.

The interesting bit was how early on she was a bit reserved (the kino was good and she wasn’t resisting at all, but verbally she was a bit reserved). Basically she kept talking about how she’d met some weirdos online and what she wanted from online dating (which was basically to find a Provider – in fairly explicit terms) and obv I’m a good candidate cos I have a good job and make good money etc.

I held my frame and let her talk (up to a point) and then she asked what I wanted and I made it explicitly clear that I was looking to date fun women but I travelled a lot for work and simply wasn’t looking to take care of a woman or evne have a serious relationship.

And I kept escalating as normal. I got to the kiss (easy but reserved) and at this point I was thinking I need to set her up for a day 2.

About an hour in, it was as if a switch flipped and she went in the space of a few minutes from being a touch reserved to being *really* turned on and *she* started to move faster than me in sexualizing at one point – shortly after I kissed her a few times SHE started talking about her sexual fantasies (she wants to be Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary) and then I realized the door was open and pushed hard and we got really filthy in whispers in the bar.

Got her out of the bar into the toilet and it was one of the easiest toilet BJs I’ve had ever. Zero resistance. She loved it and thanked me.

Interesting things:

1. I’m not sure why her switch flipped so fast to being turned on and willing to do anything but think it had to do with me disqualifying as a provider

2. When I was walking her back to her car she talked about how she had another female friend who would really be into me and would probably stalk me but her friend was too old for me plus her friend wanted a relationship which I didn’t want. I mean WTF? Why would the woman who has just given me a BJ be talking about hooking me up with her friend??


  • YaReally
    on October 11, 2014 at 2:47 pm
    Original Link

    @Culum
    “1. I’m not sure why her switch flipped so fast to being turned on and willing to do anything but think it had to do with me disqualifying as a provider”

    Ya, usually when this happens it’s because you SAID you weren’t the Provider type and she doesn’t necessarily believe it yet, she’ll still try to test you and WANTS you to be the Provider, but at some point you pass enough of her tests congruently as the Lover (and those tests are personal to her so the point where she decides it is different for each chick, all YOU can do is just watch for that window and jump through the opening when it’s there) and she decides “ok, he’s the Lover not the Provider”. If you had played up the Provider angle you would probably have to wait 3 or 4 dates for bedroom sex so you don’t think she’s a “slut”.

    Once she’s decided you’re a Lover not a Provider, you get to see the side of her that Lovers see and Providers literally may NEVER see even if they marry and settle with her. Thus the situation where a girl has a hidden gangbang or BDSM video but has never done that stuff with her beta husband lol

    This is another reason why society’s goals are kind of silly. They tell you “get a good job, become a doctor, be rich and drive a BMW” and that’s great for getting attention, but it’s also great for getting a lot of ASD/LMR from girls who don’t want to come off “slutty” and want you to consider dating and Providing for them, and it’s also great for getting a lot of Buyer’s Remorse if you bang them quick and DON’T date them after because they aren’t just losing some dude, they’re losing potentially being Tony Stark’s girlfriend.

    When the girl thinks you’re a scumbag, she’ll do all sorts of shit because it’s okay, she doesn’t care if you think she’s “slutty”, and if you encourage it and tell her the “slutty” stuff is sexy to you, then she embraces that side of her full-out and you become her escape from the judgement of the real world and normal people.

    Guys who haven’t gone down this route don’t understand any of this because if I told you about it before it happened to you you would lol and go “ya okay there YaReally” just like they will.

    “2. When I was walking her back to her car she talked about how she had another female friend who would really be into me and would probably stalk me but her friend was too old for me plus her friend wanted a relationship which I didn’t want. I mean WTF? Why would the woman who has just given me a BJ be talking about hooking me up with her friend??”

    Welcome to the “secret society”:

    http://www.bristollair.com/2008/inner-game/nature-reality/secret-society/

    This is just what happens for guys who are in the Lover category. I’ve had fuckbuddies literally give my number to their girlfriends and I just get a txt saying “hey this is Sarah’s friend” and they want to bone. Another girl I used to bang before I moved txted me to tell me her friend is visiting my area and can she give her my number because she told her about what I’m like in bed and she wants to hook up. I get topless pics from a hot tub of girls who have boyfriends because they’re my FBs friend and they’re all drinking together talking about boys and she tells them about me.

    A buddy of mine went thru a phase where he kept getting 3somes and 90% of the time it was the girls bringing their friends to him to bang him. One time he pulled the switch on them and stopped seeing the original girl to just see her friend instead lol that shit was drama for a couple months.

    I’m not saying all this to brag or anything, this isn’t like “oh man, how can I impress these internet d00dz??” This is just the normal reality of guys who are in the Lover category. This is just the reality we live in. I was as skeptical as anyone before I got hardcore into PUA. I was fully entrenched in the Disney unicorn belief system. But I just kept going out and working on my game and had all those beliefs shattered until I’m where I am now, same way you’re doing.

    And ya, she’s probably not texting because you’re not what she’s looking for. Older chicks are quick to cut guys off ’cause they know they’ll get addicted and have a countdown clock to find a Provider. But even tho you aren’t the Provider, in that moment, that night, you were the Lover and it was either have fun and adventure or go home to watch reality TV so because you pushed it you got the BJ.

    I would say there’s a solid 90% chance that if you had simply ended the date at that one point, and attempted to arrange another date to try to escalate on, you would have gotten the “I’m sorry I just don’t think we’re looking for the same thing” text because in the moment all she has to do to have fun is just go along with it, but asking her to come out again means putting in effort and choosing to be with a Lover instead of a Provider which is going against her goals. Same way if you’re on a diet you won’t go buy a donut but if someone at the office brings donuts you might have one because you can rationalize that it’s not your fault.

    I would personally just leave her alone. She’s not looking for what you’re offering, and she has a limited time left. It’s not cool to me to waste a chick’s last few child-bearing years. If she was chasing you, that’s a bit different, but if she’s trying to cut you off, I would just respect that and back off. If she txts I’d just wish her luck and tell her we had fun but I understand she’s looking for more and I hope she finds it because she’s a sweet girl bla bla so she still likes me and down the road she may drunk text me or we may run into eachother at the bar and bang again lol


    • YaReally
      on October 12, 2014 at 6:03 pm
      Original Link

      @Culum
      “but I’m going to send a jokey text telling her to introduce her friend as long her friend is fun and cool”

      You CAN do this, but I’d say there’s like a 99% chance that it’s going to 1) definitely not get her to hook you up with her friend lol, and 2) probably going to make her feel used/slutty and not want to see you again. Like, there’s no benefit to sending this text.

      She was just emotional in the moment riding the attraction waves and like if her friend had been in the room at that moment she’d go for it, but to follow-up specifically asking for it will make her feel like she was much less special than she’s hopefully feeling now.

      Most of the time when girls do this stuff for me it’s completely on their accord and I just play along. I don’t ask for their friend’s number, I just randomly get a text from that friend and find out she gave my number to her etc. Like it’s 100% in their court to decide they’re cool with it and see it thru till everyone’s in the same room where shit can actually go down. At that point the guy has to take over and lead from there, but to get TO that point it’s all about the girl and what she’s going to make happen.

      Not that it CAN’T work (everything in pickup is just playing the percentages like being “good” at poker), but it would just really surprise me if it did lol

      I would just leave her alone (radio silence) until she txts again in a few weeks when she’s inevitably horny and still hasn’t found her Tony Stark. Like I would go into full no fucks given mode where she can chase me and approach me to meet up and meet me on my terms (ideally at my apartment, dressed sexy, so I don’t have to do anything but shower up and open my door) and if she does, awesome, if she doesn’t who cares.

      MAYBE at that point you could say “bring a hot friend” and she’ll figure out schedules and stuff to drag that girl out and seed a bunch of the groundwork on her own, but I would just take the convenient solo bangs from her until she brings it up again herself and then show definite interest in the idea while you’re cuddled up after some orgasms so it’s a firmer idea in her head.


    • YaReally
      on October 13, 2014 at 2:39 am
      Original Link

      @Just Went Rogue
      “If this is true, and I don’t doubt that it is, then it basically invalidates all of civilization and what men have worked to accomplish”

      Scary thought, hey? A lot of pickup denial and madonna/whore complex is based in the reality being too scary/fucked up/depressing to accept. The same way people create the idea of heaven and hell because the reality that sometimes shitty people succeed with no repercussions and sometimes good people get shit on for no reason other than the randomness of the universe, and the lack of control over our lives and lack of fairness that’s implicated by that reality is too depressing to accept so people create the idea that after death the bad people will “get theirs” and the good people will be rewarded and run into the ghostly arms of their loved ones they miss.

      Also I used the word “scumbag” because that’s a better visual, but a Tony Stark who’s simply not interested in LTRs or commitment would be capable of fitting into the Lover category to the girl to see the same side of her the scumbag sees…BUT, Tony Stark’s money, cars, mansion, looks, success, etc. will often work against him because those are things that girls categorize as Provider attributes. So they can essentially become a handicap and he has to work harder to move from being instantly classified as a potential Provider when he rolls up in his BMW, to being seen as a Lover instead, and he’ll get a lot more resistance to that because with his external assets she WANTS him to be a Provider…whereas the guy who looks normal/average isn’t categorized into Provider or Lover until she interacts with him so he has easier flexibility, and the scumbag automatically rules himself out as a potential Provider because he lacks all those external assets, so he gets the “Easy Mode” version of seeing her “slutty” side because he’s already by default categorized only as a Lover.

      And, of course, if he starts seeing her more than once a week too often and taking her to dinners etc. he can end up transitioning into potential Provider territory where she’s going to deliver The Ultimatum (“I can’t do this anymore, I like you too much, if we aren’t going to be serious then I can’t see you anymore” (which is of course simply a Long Soft Next For Temporary Exclusivity as Blackdragon talks about here: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/10/12/important-ignore-breakup/ )). So we have rules for casual fuckbuddies, like not seeing them more than once a week, not meeting up to do boyfriend/girlfriend shit (keep it to sex), don’t promise monogamy, etc. to try to counter that or prevent it as long as possible.

      “how do you shed the bitterness towards reality and women? Obviously you are in a place where you get what you want from women, but for someone who isn’t and is struggling with being lied to all their life, what do you recommend?”

      Don’t worry, this is a common stage of digesting the Red Pill. Here’s a bit on it (click the link for more in-depth stuff):

      From my archive ( http://yareallyarchive.com/2012/9/#comment-heartiste-367897 ):

      “This is the same illusion-shattering concept as when you realize your CEO job won’t get you the pussy society built the illusion in your head that you’d get, your best friend did something unforgivable to you because they’re human and not perfect like the illusion you built up for them, and when women realize they’ve hit the wall and wasted their high-SMV years without securing a future because feminism built the illusion in their heads that there would be men a-plenty at 30+. Your world goes from black and white to shades of grey and you’re forced to contemplate “if everything I was so sure about was wrong, what else am I wrong about?” and you’re entire core, identity, life, purpose, goals, etc. are rocked.

      It’s at this tipping point that a person goes down two paths:

      1) Depression. You become jaded, cynical, sad, miserable, and feel defeated. Life feels pointless and hopeless as your brain comes to terms with the new realizations that just butt-fucked everything you held close to your core about how the world works. You become bitter, angry at the world, frustrated by the unfairness, and probably end up a MGTOW (to be fair, you can become a MGTOW in a healthy positive way too, I don’t think they’re all bitter losers despite their shitty Public Relations lol). This can also be the catalyst for removing yourself from the game entire (certain types of MGTOWs, the grass eaters movement in Japan, etc. The only difference with these groups is that there’s more of a head-in-the-sand “fuck it then, I’m outta here, good luck with all that shit y’all” mentality, which, technically speaking is actually a little healthier than reveling in the depression from a day-to-day happiness standpoint lol)

      2) Acceptance. You accept the pain and shell-shock of what’s happening as a natural thing and eventually overcome it. You find new ways to appreciate the world around you despite it’s faults and you learn to accept reality for what it really is: flawed and imperfect but often filled with good things if you look for them. You realize that people are the same, we all have potential for good and bad, and that all of that is simply societal judgement attempting to solidify shades of grey into black and white for easier processing and teaching to new generations and to keep society stable.

      A person can go through a period of Depression and end up in Acceptance, but it’s a difficult climb. How much of your identiy, reality, beliefs, hopes, future projections, etc. you based on your beliefs is a big part of what determines which path you go down. When I swallowed the red pill, I had no problem traveling the Acceptance path because I had so little experience with women that I had no part of my world based on them except the occasional day-dream about the white-picket fence life. Most of the middle-of-the-road madonna/whore complex guys tend to have much more wrapped up in their beliefs on how women are or should be, so they can go either way. The stereotypical angry bitter MRA types have usually been so burned by women that their whole identity/life/etc. was shattered by the red-pill which is why they tend to end up on the Depression/MGTOW path.”

      “I ask because I can’t help but feel bitter sometimes…if women are really just concubines for unproductive scumbags, why even bother to work towards anything more than being a scumbag?”

      Welcome to the reason no one wants you to find out about the Red Pill or Game and why family courts are so in favor of fucking over fathers. :)

      Most men in society are only working to achieve success in hopes of getting or maintaining pussy (or a loving wife and kids, whatever). Take that away and men have no reason to work so hard.

      Bob working 3 jobs to pay child support, alimony, and pay for the engagement ring and upcoming wedding to his next wife is good for society. Bob is going to get a lot of work done and keep society functioning like a good little slave. Sure, he may die from stress at 45 while his first ex-wife tells his kids he was a no good bum because he missed a few wildly unfair child support payments when he lost his job and wasn’t able to get the payments reduced to match his new job’s lower income level as he gets classed in the statistics Feminists use when they yap about the prevalence of “deadbeat dads”…but at least he helped keep society going by doing the work of 3 men, because men are just tools to be utilized by society and be walking ATMs until they finally break and we give no fucks if they off themselves or end up homeless the same way we toss out a broken hammer.

      And hey, maybe Bob will live to be 60+ where he can finally retire (if his ex-wife hasn’t taken his retirement fund) and start to enjoy life when he’s too old to get his dick hard to do anything because he spent all that time working instead of taking care of his health and now he’s 250lbs and sick all the time. Way to go Bob, you lived the dream!

      The other option is that men learn to work for themselves, and for their own goals and purposes, instead of for others, which is much healthier. It means they’ll be productive, but on their terms and in ways they find meaningful. But it also means each man will only work as much as he wants to, some men may want to make a bunch of money or become famous but some may be happy just running a little personal business that pays the rent and lets them go fishing all week, and the money and success that they have will no longer be funneled directly to women and society, it’ll instead directly benefit the man himself and allow him freedom and choice in his life. This is why while I wouldn’t go MGTOW myself and I think they have some incorrect ideas on PUA stuff, I can respect that they’ve made a decision to find fulfillment in life based on their own personal happiness instead of letting society define what their goals should be.

      The big problem there is that society has actively conditioned men to view themselves as tools to be used by other people, and to sacrifice ourselves for others instead of caring about what we want or what makes us happy, and they taunt us and call us “man-children” and say we have “peter pan syndrome” for daring to want to be happy in a way that doesn’t fit the social narrative of working to produce for other people’s benefit…so take away the Blue Pill wife and 2.5 kids white pickett fence happy retirement goal from a guy who’s been socially conditioned to not have any personal sense of purpose and you get a lot of frustrated depressed men who feel aimless and confused and don’t know what to do with their lives and need help/guidance and to find their personal purpose.

      But none of this is good for society. If everyone did it, society would crumble. There would still be Steve Jobs types who are just driven by their own personal desire, but there would be far less of the day to day function. No one CHOOSES the shittiest jobs in society, like sewage stuff, they have to take them because they need the money, but those jobs are important to keep everything running. Give men the option not to do that job and to instead simply live a nice relaxing life making enough to afford a few weekends of golf a month and no one is running the sewage system.

      Fortunately there are plenty of betas and brainwashed dudes to keep the world churning. Society has done an excellent job of getting people to invest in the value system its’ created. Most of us all fell into it. We feel ashamed for not keeping up with the Joneses, we need Calvin Klein underwear instead of generic brand underwear, we drink Coca Cola instead of a glass of water, we pay $100 dinner tabs on dates to eat food that cost $10 to make, and if we start poking our heads out of that fog there are plenty of people who will be lined up to shove us back into it and remind us how embarrassed we should be that we drive a plain car instead of a BMW, and plenty of people lined up to tell us we shouldn’t be learning Game or thinking these “selfish” “man-child” Red Pill thoughts.

      “I’m also curious how you feel about taking advantage of all the luxuries and conveniences of modern society that providers have built, allowing you to live the life of cad.”

      I appreciate what they’ve done for us and I’m glad they did what they did and HOPE that they were rewarded in life with a nice loving committed wife and 2.5 wonderful kids and a white picket fence home though I don’t believe that happens often, if at all.

      Thing is, as a man, I can at least respect the creations of those guys. Whether it’s traveling to fucking space (seriously, wtf) because I know guys who are engineers, or an incredible building that I know men built by hand brick by brick because I know guys who do construction, or the fact that I have a fucking super-computer in my pocket that allows me to talk to people on the other side of the world in real-time as I surf the net on it because I know nerds who work on tech stuff…I appreciate the fuck out of all of that in the same way that I sit down to a good steak dinner and think “god I’m fortunate to be able to enjoy this amazing steak”.

      But I’m also extremely thankful that I was able to escape being one of those guys. I may do stuff and gain success in life in similar ways, but it’ll be entirely on my terms and even then I owe that to the early PUAs who broke their backs in-field figuring all this shit out and selflessly taught it to other men for free back before pickup turned into a business. I’m very aware of what other people have done for me, and thankful for it…and I feel like that appreciation is enough, in my mind, to justify taking advantage of and enjoying that stuff.

      Women tend to take a lot for granted. Nice BMW but it’s blue not black, pfft. Wow a free dinner at the local pub instead of a nice restaraunt? What a cheap-o guy! I can’t even count the number of girls I’ve met who’s phones have cracked screens because they just give no fucks and smack the things around with no appreciation for the incredible technology they’re holding in their hand. A lot of guys take it for granted too, because they’re caught up in “well this giant TV was nice, but this one is 4 inches bigger so fuck this other one I’m sad because I don’t have the best one” when it’s like holy shit I don’t even OWN a TV I would be grateful as fuck to have ANY TV lol

      So I figure most of society is a lot less appreciative of all the wonders of civilization than I am and that helps me sleep at night.

      “Hate to bring morals into it but I’m still dangling on the threshold of what is right and what is wrong right now.”

      There is no right and wrong, there’s only what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t. Decide those things for yourself, push your limits and determine your own value system, don’t let other people (not even me) determine that value system for yourself.

      I’m not trying to convert anyone, all I do is tell people what I see and experience and they’re free to decide what to do with that information. I’m as supportive of the guy who actively chooses to get married and settle down with a wife and 2.5 kids because it’s a goal of his and he wants it (even tho I don’t think it’s likely to succeed), as I am supportive of the guy who’s out slaying one-night-stand poon left and right because he’s actively decided he doesn’t want to settle down into a serious relationship and enjoys variety in his relationships and sex life.

      The important key with both of those guys is that they actively CHOSE what they want based on their personal value system, VS the guy who got married because he was told by society that that’s what you’re supposed to do or he got pressured by his girlfriend or his family into doing it when he wasn’t really sure about it himself…or the guy who goes out running pickup banging girls left and right to fill some empty void or because PUAs told him that’s what a cool alpha male does but he’s not even really enjoying it.

      I don’t care whether you choose option A or option B, all I care about is that you CHOOSE it instead of letting other people choose it for you. That’s the basic foundation of being a man.



A Test Of Your Game: Judging Your Responses To ‘No Girl’

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on October 10, 2014 at 7:53 pm
Original Link

FR from last night’s first date with a MILFy online HB7 – no questions as such, just interesting and a couple things I don’t understand, because it was my first time experiencing what YaReally says about disqualifying yourself as a Provider and how it can help.

Bottom line: Meeting to toilet BJ in 1 hr 45 min.

All the key points were there – it was really a standard (good) date – usual DHV stories, usual kino (good responses, no resistance, kiss first time) etc. Not worth repeating.

The interesting bit was how early on she was a bit reserved (the kino was good and she wasn’t resisting at all, but verbally she was a bit reserved). Basically she kept talking about how she’d met some weirdos online and what she wanted from online dating (which was basically to find a Provider – in fairly explicit terms) and obv I’m a good candidate cos I have a good job and make good money etc.

I held my frame and let her talk (up to a point) and then she asked what I wanted and I made it explicitly clear that I was looking to date fun women but I travelled a lot for work and simply wasn’t looking to take care of a woman or evne have a serious relationship.

And I kept escalating as normal. I got to the kiss (easy but reserved) and at this point I was thinking I need to set her up for a day 2.

About an hour in, it was as if a switch flipped and she went in the space of a few minutes from being a touch reserved to being *really* turned on and *she* started to move faster than me in sexualizing at one point – shortly after I kissed her a few times SHE started talking about her sexual fantasies (she wants to be Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary) and then I realized the door was open and pushed hard and we got really filthy in whispers in the bar.

Got her out of the bar into the toilet and it was one of the easiest toilet BJs I’ve had ever. Zero resistance. She loved it and thanked me.

Interesting things:

1. I’m not sure why her switch flipped so fast to being turned on and willing to do anything but think it had to do with me disqualifying as a provider

2. When I was walking her back to her car she talked about how she had another female friend who would really be into me and would probably stalk me but her friend was too old for me plus her friend wanted a relationship which I didn’t want. I mean WTF? Why would the woman who has just given me a BJ be talking about hooking me up with her friend??


  • YaReally
    on October 11, 2014 at 2:47 pm
    Original Link

    @Culum
    “1. I’m not sure why her switch flipped so fast to being turned on and willing to do anything but think it had to do with me disqualifying as a provider”

    Ya, usually when this happens it’s because you SAID you weren’t the Provider type and she doesn’t necessarily believe it yet, she’ll still try to test you and WANTS you to be the Provider, but at some point you pass enough of her tests congruently as the Lover (and those tests are personal to her so the point where she decides it is different for each chick, all YOU can do is just watch for that window and jump through the opening when it’s there) and she decides “ok, he’s the Lover not the Provider”. If you had played up the Provider angle you would probably have to wait 3 or 4 dates for bedroom sex so you don’t think she’s a “slut”.

    Once she’s decided you’re a Lover not a Provider, you get to see the side of her that Lovers see and Providers literally may NEVER see even if they marry and settle with her. Thus the situation where a girl has a hidden gangbang or BDSM video but has never done that stuff with her beta husband lol

    This is another reason why society’s goals are kind of silly. They tell you “get a good job, become a doctor, be rich and drive a BMW” and that’s great for getting attention, but it’s also great for getting a lot of ASD/LMR from girls who don’t want to come off “slutty” and want you to consider dating and Providing for them, and it’s also great for getting a lot of Buyer’s Remorse if you bang them quick and DON’T date them after because they aren’t just losing some dude, they’re losing potentially being Tony Stark’s girlfriend.

    When the girl thinks you’re a scumbag, she’ll do all sorts of shit because it’s okay, she doesn’t care if you think she’s “slutty”, and if you encourage it and tell her the “slutty” stuff is sexy to you, then she embraces that side of her full-out and you become her escape from the judgement of the real world and normal people.

    Guys who haven’t gone down this route don’t understand any of this because if I told you about it before it happened to you you would lol and go “ya okay there YaReally” just like they will.

    “2. When I was walking her back to her car she talked about how she had another female friend who would really be into me and would probably stalk me but her friend was too old for me plus her friend wanted a relationship which I didn’t want. I mean WTF? Why would the woman who has just given me a BJ be talking about hooking me up with her friend??”

    Welcome to the “secret society”:

    http://www.bristollair.com/2008/inner-game/nature-reality/secret-society/

    This is just what happens for guys who are in the Lover category. I’ve had fuckbuddies literally give my number to their girlfriends and I just get a txt saying “hey this is Sarah’s friend” and they want to bone. Another girl I used to bang before I moved txted me to tell me her friend is visiting my area and can she give her my number because she told her about what I’m like in bed and she wants to hook up. I get topless pics from a hot tub of girls who have boyfriends because they’re my FBs friend and they’re all drinking together talking about boys and she tells them about me.

    A buddy of mine went thru a phase where he kept getting 3somes and 90% of the time it was the girls bringing their friends to him to bang him. One time he pulled the switch on them and stopped seeing the original girl to just see her friend instead lol that shit was drama for a couple months.

    I’m not saying all this to brag or anything, this isn’t like “oh man, how can I impress these internet d00dz??” This is just the normal reality of guys who are in the Lover category. This is just the reality we live in. I was as skeptical as anyone before I got hardcore into PUA. I was fully entrenched in the Disney unicorn belief system. But I just kept going out and working on my game and had all those beliefs shattered until I’m where I am now, same way you’re doing.

    And ya, she’s probably not texting because you’re not what she’s looking for. Older chicks are quick to cut guys off ’cause they know they’ll get addicted and have a countdown clock to find a Provider. But even tho you aren’t the Provider, in that moment, that night, you were the Lover and it was either have fun and adventure or go home to watch reality TV so because you pushed it you got the BJ.

    I would say there’s a solid 90% chance that if you had simply ended the date at that one point, and attempted to arrange another date to try to escalate on, you would have gotten the “I’m sorry I just don’t think we’re looking for the same thing” text because in the moment all she has to do to have fun is just go along with it, but asking her to come out again means putting in effort and choosing to be with a Lover instead of a Provider which is going against her goals. Same way if you’re on a diet you won’t go buy a donut but if someone at the office brings donuts you might have one because you can rationalize that it’s not your fault.

    I would personally just leave her alone. She’s not looking for what you’re offering, and she has a limited time left. It’s not cool to me to waste a chick’s last few child-bearing years. If she was chasing you, that’s a bit different, but if she’s trying to cut you off, I would just respect that and back off. If she txts I’d just wish her luck and tell her we had fun but I understand she’s looking for more and I hope she finds it because she’s a sweet girl bla bla so she still likes me and down the road she may drunk text me or we may run into eachother at the bar and bang again lol


    • YaReally
      on October 12, 2014 at 6:03 pm
      Original Link

      @Culum
      “but I’m going to send a jokey text telling her to introduce her friend as long her friend is fun and cool”

      You CAN do this, but I’d say there’s like a 99% chance that it’s going to 1) definitely not get her to hook you up with her friend lol, and 2) probably going to make her feel used/slutty and not want to see you again. Like, there’s no benefit to sending this text.

      She was just emotional in the moment riding the attraction waves and like if her friend had been in the room at that moment she’d go for it, but to follow-up specifically asking for it will make her feel like she was much less special than she’s hopefully feeling now.

      Most of the time when girls do this stuff for me it’s completely on their accord and I just play along. I don’t ask for their friend’s number, I just randomly get a text from that friend and find out she gave my number to her etc. Like it’s 100% in their court to decide they’re cool with it and see it thru till everyone’s in the same room where shit can actually go down. At that point the guy has to take over and lead from there, but to get TO that point it’s all about the girl and what she’s going to make happen.

      Not that it CAN’T work (everything in pickup is just playing the percentages like being “good” at poker), but it would just really surprise me if it did lol

      I would just leave her alone (radio silence) until she txts again in a few weeks when she’s inevitably horny and still hasn’t found her Tony Stark. Like I would go into full no fucks given mode where she can chase me and approach me to meet up and meet me on my terms (ideally at my apartment, dressed sexy, so I don’t have to do anything but shower up and open my door) and if she does, awesome, if she doesn’t who cares.

      MAYBE at that point you could say “bring a hot friend” and she’ll figure out schedules and stuff to drag that girl out and seed a bunch of the groundwork on her own, but I would just take the convenient solo bangs from her until she brings it up again herself and then show definite interest in the idea while you’re cuddled up after some orgasms so it’s a firmer idea in her head.


    • YaReally
      on October 13, 2014 at 2:39 am
      Original Link

      @Just Went Rogue
      “If this is true, and I don’t doubt that it is, then it basically invalidates all of civilization and what men have worked to accomplish”

      Scary thought, hey? A lot of pickup denial and madonna/whore complex is based in the reality being too scary/fucked up/depressing to accept. The same way people create the idea of heaven and hell because the reality that sometimes shitty people succeed with no repercussions and sometimes good people get shit on for no reason other than the randomness of the universe, and the lack of control over our lives and lack of fairness that’s implicated by that reality is too depressing to accept so people create the idea that after death the bad people will “get theirs” and the good people will be rewarded and run into the ghostly arms of their loved ones they miss.

      Also I used the word “scumbag” because that’s a better visual, but a Tony Stark who’s simply not interested in LTRs or commitment would be capable of fitting into the Lover category to the girl to see the same side of her the scumbag sees…BUT, Tony Stark’s money, cars, mansion, looks, success, etc. will often work against him because those are things that girls categorize as Provider attributes. So they can essentially become a handicap and he has to work harder to move from being instantly classified as a potential Provider when he rolls up in his BMW, to being seen as a Lover instead, and he’ll get a lot more resistance to that because with his external assets she WANTS him to be a Provider…whereas the guy who looks normal/average isn’t categorized into Provider or Lover until she interacts with him so he has easier flexibility, and the scumbag automatically rules himself out as a potential Provider because he lacks all those external assets, so he gets the “Easy Mode” version of seeing her “slutty” side because he’s already by default categorized only as a Lover.

      And, of course, if he starts seeing her more than once a week too often and taking her to dinners etc. he can end up transitioning into potential Provider territory where she’s going to deliver The Ultimatum (“I can’t do this anymore, I like you too much, if we aren’t going to be serious then I can’t see you anymore” (which is of course simply a Long Soft Next For Temporary Exclusivity as Blackdragon talks about here: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/10/12/important-ignore-breakup/ )). So we have rules for casual fuckbuddies, like not seeing them more than once a week, not meeting up to do boyfriend/girlfriend shit (keep it to sex), don’t promise monogamy, etc. to try to counter that or prevent it as long as possible.

      “how do you shed the bitterness towards reality and women? Obviously you are in a place where you get what you want from women, but for someone who isn’t and is struggling with being lied to all their life, what do you recommend?”

      Don’t worry, this is a common stage of digesting the Red Pill. Here’s a bit on it (click the link for more in-depth stuff):

      From my archive ( http://yareallyarchive.com/2012/9/#comment-heartiste-367897 ):

      “This is the same illusion-shattering concept as when you realize your CEO job won’t get you the pussy society built the illusion in your head that you’d get, your best friend did something unforgivable to you because they’re human and not perfect like the illusion you built up for them, and when women realize they’ve hit the wall and wasted their high-SMV years without securing a future because feminism built the illusion in their heads that there would be men a-plenty at 30+. Your world goes from black and white to shades of grey and you’re forced to contemplate “if everything I was so sure about was wrong, what else am I wrong about?” and you’re entire core, identity, life, purpose, goals, etc. are rocked.

      It’s at this tipping point that a person goes down two paths:

      1) Depression. You become jaded, cynical, sad, miserable, and feel defeated. Life feels pointless and hopeless as your brain comes to terms with the new realizations that just butt-fucked everything you held close to your core about how the world works. You become bitter, angry at the world, frustrated by the unfairness, and probably end up a MGTOW (to be fair, you can become a MGTOW in a healthy positive way too, I don’t think they’re all bitter losers despite their shitty Public Relations lol). This can also be the catalyst for removing yourself from the game entire (certain types of MGTOWs, the grass eaters movement in Japan, etc. The only difference with these groups is that there’s more of a head-in-the-sand “fuck it then, I’m outta here, good luck with all that shit y’all” mentality, which, technically speaking is actually a little healthier than reveling in the depression from a day-to-day happiness standpoint lol)

      2) Acceptance. You accept the pain and shell-shock of what’s happening as a natural thing and eventually overcome it. You find new ways to appreciate the world around you despite it’s faults and you learn to accept reality for what it really is: flawed and imperfect but often filled with good things if you look for them. You realize that people are the same, we all have potential for good and bad, and that all of that is simply societal judgement attempting to solidify shades of grey into black and white for easier processing and teaching to new generations and to keep society stable.

      A person can go through a period of Depression and end up in Acceptance, but it’s a difficult climb. How much of your identiy, reality, beliefs, hopes, future projections, etc. you based on your beliefs is a big part of what determines which path you go down. When I swallowed the red pill, I had no problem traveling the Acceptance path because I had so little experience with women that I had no part of my world based on them except the occasional day-dream about the white-picket fence life. Most of the middle-of-the-road madonna/whore complex guys tend to have much more wrapped up in their beliefs on how women are or should be, so they can go either way. The stereotypical angry bitter MRA types have usually been so burned by women that their whole identity/life/etc. was shattered by the red-pill which is why they tend to end up on the Depression/MGTOW path.”

      “I ask because I can’t help but feel bitter sometimes…if women are really just concubines for unproductive scumbags, why even bother to work towards anything more than being a scumbag?”

      Welcome to the reason no one wants you to find out about the Red Pill or Game and why family courts are so in favor of fucking over fathers. :)

      Most men in society are only working to achieve success in hopes of getting or maintaining pussy (or a loving wife and kids, whatever). Take that away and men have no reason to work so hard.

      Bob working 3 jobs to pay child support, alimony, and pay for the engagement ring and upcoming wedding to his next wife is good for society. Bob is going to get a lot of work done and keep society functioning like a good little slave. Sure, he may die from stress at 45 while his first ex-wife tells his kids he was a no good bum because he missed a few wildly unfair child support payments when he lost his job and wasn’t able to get the payments reduced to match his new job’s lower income level as he gets classed in the statistics Feminists use when they yap about the prevalence of “deadbeat dads”…but at least he helped keep society going by doing the work of 3 men, because men are just tools to be utilized by society and be walking ATMs until they finally break and we give no fucks if they off themselves or end up homeless the same way we toss out a broken hammer.

      And hey, maybe Bob will live to be 60+ where he can finally retire (if his ex-wife hasn’t taken his retirement fund) and start to enjoy life when he’s too old to get his dick hard to do anything because he spent all that time working instead of taking care of his health and now he’s 250lbs and sick all the time. Way to go Bob, you lived the dream!

      The other option is that men learn to work for themselves, and for their own goals and purposes, instead of for others, which is much healthier. It means they’ll be productive, but on their terms and in ways they find meaningful. But it also means each man will only work as much as he wants to, some men may want to make a bunch of money or become famous but some may be happy just running a little personal business that pays the rent and lets them go fishing all week, and the money and success that they have will no longer be funneled directly to women and society, it’ll instead directly benefit the man himself and allow him freedom and choice in his life. This is why while I wouldn’t go MGTOW myself and I think they have some incorrect ideas on PUA stuff, I can respect that they’ve made a decision to find fulfillment in life based on their own personal happiness instead of letting society define what their goals should be.

      The big problem there is that society has actively conditioned men to view themselves as tools to be used by other people, and to sacrifice ourselves for others instead of caring about what we want or what makes us happy, and they taunt us and call us “man-children” and say we have “peter pan syndrome” for daring to want to be happy in a way that doesn’t fit the social narrative of working to produce for other people’s benefit…so take away the Blue Pill wife and 2.5 kids white pickett fence happy retirement goal from a guy who’s been socially conditioned to not have any personal sense of purpose and you get a lot of frustrated depressed men who feel aimless and confused and don’t know what to do with their lives and need help/guidance and to find their personal purpose.

      But none of this is good for society. If everyone did it, society would crumble. There would still be Steve Jobs types who are just driven by their own personal desire, but there would be far less of the day to day function. No one CHOOSES the shittiest jobs in society, like sewage stuff, they have to take them because they need the money, but those jobs are important to keep everything running. Give men the option not to do that job and to instead simply live a nice relaxing life making enough to afford a few weekends of golf a month and no one is running the sewage system.

      Fortunately there are plenty of betas and brainwashed dudes to keep the world churning. Society has done an excellent job of getting people to invest in the value system its’ created. Most of us all fell into it. We feel ashamed for not keeping up with the Joneses, we need Calvin Klein underwear instead of generic brand underwear, we drink Coca Cola instead of a glass of water, we pay $100 dinner tabs on dates to eat food that cost $10 to make, and if we start poking our heads out of that fog there are plenty of people who will be lined up to shove us back into it and remind us how embarrassed we should be that we drive a plain car instead of a BMW, and plenty of people lined up to tell us we shouldn’t be learning Game or thinking these “selfish” “man-child” Red Pill thoughts.

      “I’m also curious how you feel about taking advantage of all the luxuries and conveniences of modern society that providers have built, allowing you to live the life of cad.”

      I appreciate what they’ve done for us and I’m glad they did what they did and HOPE that they were rewarded in life with a nice loving committed wife and 2.5 wonderful kids and a white picket fence home though I don’t believe that happens often, if at all.

      Thing is, as a man, I can at least respect the creations of those guys. Whether it’s traveling to fucking space (seriously, wtf) because I know guys who are engineers, or an incredible building that I know men built by hand brick by brick because I know guys who do construction, or the fact that I have a fucking super-computer in my pocket that allows me to talk to people on the other side of the world in real-time as I surf the net on it because I know nerds who work on tech stuff…I appreciate the fuck out of all of that in the same way that I sit down to a good steak dinner and think “god I’m fortunate to be able to enjoy this amazing steak”.

      But I’m also extremely thankful that I was able to escape being one of those guys. I may do stuff and gain success in life in similar ways, but it’ll be entirely on my terms and even then I owe that to the early PUAs who broke their backs in-field figuring all this shit out and selflessly taught it to other men for free back before pickup turned into a business. I’m very aware of what other people have done for me, and thankful for it…and I feel like that appreciation is enough, in my mind, to justify taking advantage of and enjoying that stuff.

      Women tend to take a lot for granted. Nice BMW but it’s blue not black, pfft. Wow a free dinner at the local pub instead of a nice restaraunt? What a cheap-o guy! I can’t even count the number of girls I’ve met who’s phones have cracked screens because they just give no fucks and smack the things around with no appreciation for the incredible technology they’re holding in their hand. A lot of guys take it for granted too, because they’re caught up in “well this giant TV was nice, but this one is 4 inches bigger so fuck this other one I’m sad because I don’t have the best one” when it’s like holy shit I don’t even OWN a TV I would be grateful as fuck to have ANY TV lol

      So I figure most of society is a lot less appreciative of all the wonders of civilization than I am and that helps me sleep at night.

      “Hate to bring morals into it but I’m still dangling on the threshold of what is right and what is wrong right now.”

      There is no right and wrong, there’s only what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t. Decide those things for yourself, push your limits and determine your own value system, don’t let other people (not even me) determine that value system for yourself.

      I’m not trying to convert anyone, all I do is tell people what I see and experience and they’re free to decide what to do with that information. I’m as supportive of the guy who actively chooses to get married and settle down with a wife and 2.5 kids because it’s a goal of his and he wants it (even tho I don’t think it’s likely to succeed), as I am supportive of the guy who’s out slaying one-night-stand poon left and right because he’s actively decided he doesn’t want to settle down into a serious relationship and enjoys variety in his relationships and sex life.

      The important key with both of those guys is that they actively CHOSE what they want based on their personal value system, VS the guy who got married because he was told by society that that’s what you’re supposed to do or he got pressured by his girlfriend or his family into doing it when he wasn’t really sure about it himself…or the guy who goes out running pickup banging girls left and right to fill some empty void or because PUAs told him that’s what a cool alpha male does but he’s not even really enjoying it.

      I don’t care whether you choose option A or option B, all I care about is that you CHOOSE it instead of letting other people choose it for you. That’s the basic foundation of being a man.



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Spartan
on October 7, 2014 at 3:38 pm
Original Link

Put her in one of those judo wrist lock submission holds. It looks like she is begging for it.


  • YaReally
    on October 7, 2014 at 5:41 pm
    Original Link

    “Put her in one of those judo wrist lock submission holds.”



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Spartan
on October 7, 2014 at 3:38 pm
Original Link

Put her in one of those judo wrist lock submission holds. It looks like she is begging for it.


  • YaReally
    on October 7, 2014 at 5:41 pm
    Original Link

    “Put her in one of those judo wrist lock submission holds.”



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 7, 2014 at 5:36 pm
Original Link

As always on these things, I’ll stress that there’s a difference between handling it in a way that soothes your butthurt ego and/or gets “revenge” and/or makes a super cool “nice!! way to own that bitch brah!!” story to tell your buddies and “save my dignity bro” (aka trying to save face in front of some random bar chick and some drunk dudes lol who the fuck cares what they think), and handling it in a way that actually has some potential possibility of turning the set around or recovering in some way.

A lot of “witty” responses that sound good are just butthurt reactions trying to get her back for not playing along and it’s basically the same thing as that guy who responded to the cat pussy fingers pic in the last article all butthurt taking it as a personal sleight instead of lol’ing at the situ.

She doesn’t owe you anything. She doesn’t owe you being nice when you open her, she doesn’t owe you texting you back when you get her number, she doesn’t owe you showing up on a date when you invite her out, she doesn’t owe you sex when you’re on a date. She doesn’t owe you “a chance” any more than a business you’re applying to owes you a job or a bank owes you a loan.

And the instant “No” girls aren’t judging you as a human being because they haven’t met and interacted with you. They’re just lumping you in with a type of low-value guy because for whatever reasons that’s the headspace they’re in at the moment and she wasn’t aware of you doing anything to NOT be lumped in with those guys before you approached.

It’s all very simple. Ones and zeroes, binary shit: If you’re high-value in her mind, she’ll talk to you, if not she’ll lump you with the rest and not give you a chance. So you can either walk away and take the loss, or figure out how to build your value to her. Those are the two options. She still won’t owe you shit even if you build your value, and she doesn’t owe you the opportunity TO demonstrate higher value. IDEALLY, you DHV’ed in front of her before approaching so you don’t get the “No” in the first place, but assuming that’s happened you have two options: You either find a way to DHV or you move on.

And generally DHV’ing is going to have to be indirectly (ie – doing something she can passively observe) rather than taking her on directly (she slammed the door, so you go around to the window) because while it’s POSSIBLE to drop a cool James Bond reply and the girl swoons at how alpha you are and suddenly wants to suck your dick, the hardcore “No” girls won’t LET you high-five them or drop your witty little response, they’ll just keep shouting “NOPE! NO SORRY! SORRY NO!!” and backturn you and get their girls to huddle with them with their backs to you etc. (guess how I know this lol)

So I like to just lol and open whatever set is beside them and in a loud voice tell them “wow, that girl HATES me. I didn’t even get past the word “hi”. Looks like I’ll be a virgin forever. :(” and befriend that set and ask them for advice on how to get laid, whoever they are. If they’re ugly girls it makes me seem benevolent talking to anyone and making them laugh, if they’re dudes then I can chat and come off cooler than the guys, if they’re hot girls (even if they’re taken) they’ll usually play along and lol and go “awww” and I can work them, etc. Either way, I rolled off a rejection with no fucks given, turned it into a joke, and now I’m DHV’ing in front of the girl who just rejected me. If the girls aren’t knee-deep in drama they’ll often observe and then either actively try to get my attention again or passively just be more receptive if I re-open them after a few minutes. If I manage to get back in the set I’ll either do the Cajun “it’s cute that you’re so protective of your friends” compliment or I’ll tease (usually tease, it’s more my style) about how much they hurt my feelings and that I’m going to go cry in the bathroom and how they were my last chance to lose my virginity etc.

If from their body-language and the general situation and field experience the girl is having a legit “No” moment where like, she’s having a fight with her friends, or she’s pissed off at men for some reason like some drunk dude just groped her against her will and she’s disgusted and wants to leave, or her friend is crying and she’s taking care of her (you wouldn’t believe how many social retards I’ve seen trying to approach sets like this, it blows my mind)…and/or on top of that, I don’t see any way to build my value in the situation we’re in like there’s no one else around or they’re walking fast toward somewhere etc., then I’ll just walk away no fucks given. Can’t get ‘em all lol Might see them later when they’re more receptive and I can tease them for blowing me off and hurting my feelings, or I might never see them again. Oh well, there’s 3 more girls who look just like that one in the bar lol

And like CH says these are usually the not super hot girls. The super hot ones will do even worse and just give you as Todd calls it “The Hot Girl Blase”:

“The hottest girls don’t give shit-tests. That’s what makes them hard to get. Ugly girls will immediately love you. Girls in the 7,8, low-9 range will give a LOT of shit-tests, but if you know how to pass shit-tests those shit-tests actually give you leverage to game them so those girls are actually quite easy to get. But the 10s just refuse to engage with you. They just give you one-word answers, blank stares, type away on their cell phone, ignore you, that kind of thing.”

Todd’s voice is gay as fuck and his vibe is super-boring but his technical understanding of the game is amazing and completely jives with what I’ve experienced in-field. A lot of my game is based off pushing the girl to shit-test me and then passing the shit-tests because passing shit-tests builds attraction…so the girls who are just “nice” are annoying (and boring) to me lol I have to go a lot further to get them to test me. A lot of my value is in my test passing…like you put some tall jacked rich dude and me on a girl and if she won’t test us at all, he’s naturally got a higher default value than me.

But if, like Todd explains, I can make myself an authority in her world and/or make what I’m saying relevant to her personally, I can get her to test me and pass it and blow the other guy out…combine that with stepping to the side or leading her so she turns her back to the other guy, grabbing her focus, cutting space, spiking her Buying Temperature etc. and the other guy is basically invisible to her before he realizes what happened (because generally as a good-looking dude he didn’t need to learn game and underestimated me based on my looks and wasn’t expecting to get blindsided like that). If the girl and I stick around or I leave and the girl sticks around and keeps interacting with the dude after that, he MIGHT end up eventually regaining his value, but that’s why I don’t let myself and the girl stick around I lead them away lol

Here’s Julien blowing out a student because the student is being a pussy and trying to number-close when he should be leading to the pull, so Julien comes in and takes over and shows him that the girl was perfectly willing to be led away if he had stepped up. A dick move but he’s teaching him a lesson. Starts at 55 seconds in:

The guy is in the middle of getting her phone number and Julien just keeps her focus and leads her off, cuts him out with body-positioning etc. Also this is in Poland (along with some other girls in the vid)…but we know game doesn’t work on those virginal unicorn Eastern European girls. THEY don’t respond to being teased or led into having sex with guys they’ve just met…they’re special. lol.


  • Piatti
    on October 8, 2014 at 2:51 pm
    Original Link

    ohhh I get it ..he’s teaching totally socially inept guys how to play babbling bullshit starving squirrel looking for a nut game.. on mixed up airhead polish 6’s ..

    impressed..

    what would you rather do .. master that 100 times .. or be able to write a check for $10,000 as an after thought.. this much focus on meaningless social dynamics is a dead end


    • YaReally
      on October 8, 2014 at 3:19 pm
      Original Link

      “what would you rather do ..”

      I’D rather waste my time on a forum based around picking up hot girls, lecturing all the guys there on why they shouldn’t want hot girls. If I could write cheques for $10,000 that’s definitely what I’d be doing with MY free time, not traveling or living an interesting life with that money.



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 7, 2014 at 5:36 pm
Original Link

As always on these things, I’ll stress that there’s a difference between handling it in a way that soothes your butthurt ego and/or gets “revenge” and/or makes a super cool “nice!! way to own that bitch brah!!” story to tell your buddies and “save my dignity bro” (aka trying to save face in front of some random bar chick and some drunk dudes lol who the fuck cares what they think), and handling it in a way that actually has some potential possibility of turning the set around or recovering in some way.

A lot of “witty” responses that sound good are just butthurt reactions trying to get her back for not playing along and it’s basically the same thing as that guy who responded to the cat pussy fingers pic in the last article all butthurt taking it as a personal sleight instead of lol’ing at the situ.

She doesn’t owe you anything. She doesn’t owe you being nice when you open her, she doesn’t owe you texting you back when you get her number, she doesn’t owe you showing up on a date when you invite her out, she doesn’t owe you sex when you’re on a date. She doesn’t owe you “a chance” any more than a business you’re applying to owes you a job or a bank owes you a loan.

And the instant “No” girls aren’t judging you as a human being because they haven’t met and interacted with you. They’re just lumping you in with a type of low-value guy because for whatever reasons that’s the headspace they’re in at the moment and she wasn’t aware of you doing anything to NOT be lumped in with those guys before you approached.

It’s all very simple. Ones and zeroes, binary shit: If you’re high-value in her mind, she’ll talk to you, if not she’ll lump you with the rest and not give you a chance. So you can either walk away and take the loss, or figure out how to build your value to her. Those are the two options. She still won’t owe you shit even if you build your value, and she doesn’t owe you the opportunity TO demonstrate higher value. IDEALLY, you DHV’ed in front of her before approaching so you don’t get the “No” in the first place, but assuming that’s happened you have two options: You either find a way to DHV or you move on.

And generally DHV’ing is going to have to be indirectly (ie – doing something she can passively observe) rather than taking her on directly (she slammed the door, so you go around to the window) because while it’s POSSIBLE to drop a cool James Bond reply and the girl swoons at how alpha you are and suddenly wants to suck your dick, the hardcore “No” girls won’t LET you high-five them or drop your witty little response, they’ll just keep shouting “NOPE! NO SORRY! SORRY NO!!” and backturn you and get their girls to huddle with them with their backs to you etc. (guess how I know this lol)

So I like to just lol and open whatever set is beside them and in a loud voice tell them “wow, that girl HATES me. I didn’t even get past the word “hi”. Looks like I’ll be a virgin forever. :(” and befriend that set and ask them for advice on how to get laid, whoever they are. If they’re ugly girls it makes me seem benevolent talking to anyone and making them laugh, if they’re dudes then I can chat and come off cooler than the guys, if they’re hot girls (even if they’re taken) they’ll usually play along and lol and go “awww” and I can work them, etc. Either way, I rolled off a rejection with no fucks given, turned it into a joke, and now I’m DHV’ing in front of the girl who just rejected me. If the girls aren’t knee-deep in drama they’ll often observe and then either actively try to get my attention again or passively just be more receptive if I re-open them after a few minutes. If I manage to get back in the set I’ll either do the Cajun “it’s cute that you’re so protective of your friends” compliment or I’ll tease (usually tease, it’s more my style) about how much they hurt my feelings and that I’m going to go cry in the bathroom and how they were my last chance to lose my virginity etc.

If from their body-language and the general situation and field experience the girl is having a legit “No” moment where like, she’s having a fight with her friends, or she’s pissed off at men for some reason like some drunk dude just groped her against her will and she’s disgusted and wants to leave, or her friend is crying and she’s taking care of her (you wouldn’t believe how many social retards I’ve seen trying to approach sets like this, it blows my mind)…and/or on top of that, I don’t see any way to build my value in the situation we’re in like there’s no one else around or they’re walking fast toward somewhere etc., then I’ll just walk away no fucks given. Can’t get ‘em all lol Might see them later when they’re more receptive and I can tease them for blowing me off and hurting my feelings, or I might never see them again. Oh well, there’s 3 more girls who look just like that one in the bar lol

And like CH says these are usually the not super hot girls. The super hot ones will do even worse and just give you as Todd calls it “The Hot Girl Blase”:

“The hottest girls don’t give shit-tests. That’s what makes them hard to get. Ugly girls will immediately love you. Girls in the 7,8, low-9 range will give a LOT of shit-tests, but if you know how to pass shit-tests those shit-tests actually give you leverage to game them so those girls are actually quite easy to get. But the 10s just refuse to engage with you. They just give you one-word answers, blank stares, type away on their cell phone, ignore you, that kind of thing.”

Todd’s voice is gay as fuck and his vibe is super-boring but his technical understanding of the game is amazing and completely jives with what I’ve experienced in-field. A lot of my game is based off pushing the girl to shit-test me and then passing the shit-tests because passing shit-tests builds attraction…so the girls who are just “nice” are annoying (and boring) to me lol I have to go a lot further to get them to test me. A lot of my value is in my test passing…like you put some tall jacked rich dude and me on a girl and if she won’t test us at all, he’s naturally got a higher default value than me.

But if, like Todd explains, I can make myself an authority in her world and/or make what I’m saying relevant to her personally, I can get her to test me and pass it and blow the other guy out…combine that with stepping to the side or leading her so she turns her back to the other guy, grabbing her focus, cutting space, spiking her Buying Temperature etc. and the other guy is basically invisible to her before he realizes what happened (because generally as a good-looking dude he didn’t need to learn game and underestimated me based on my looks and wasn’t expecting to get blindsided like that). If the girl and I stick around or I leave and the girl sticks around and keeps interacting with the dude after that, he MIGHT end up eventually regaining his value, but that’s why I don’t let myself and the girl stick around I lead them away lol

Here’s Julien blowing out a student because the student is being a pussy and trying to number-close when he should be leading to the pull, so Julien comes in and takes over and shows him that the girl was perfectly willing to be led away if he had stepped up. A dick move but he’s teaching him a lesson. Starts at 55 seconds in:

The guy is in the middle of getting her phone number and Julien just keeps her focus and leads her off, cuts him out with body-positioning etc. Also this is in Poland (along with some other girls in the vid)…but we know game doesn’t work on those virginal unicorn Eastern European girls. THEY don’t respond to being teased or led into having sex with guys they’ve just met…they’re special. lol.


  • Piatti
    on October 8, 2014 at 2:51 pm
    Original Link

    ohhh I get it ..he’s teaching totally socially inept guys how to play babbling bullshit starving squirrel looking for a nut game.. on mixed up airhead polish 6’s ..

    impressed..

    what would you rather do .. master that 100 times .. or be able to write a check for $10,000 as an after thought.. this much focus on meaningless social dynamics is a dead end


    • YaReally
      on October 8, 2014 at 3:19 pm
      Original Link

      “what would you rather do ..”

      I’D rather waste my time on a forum based around picking up hot girls, lecturing all the guys there on why they shouldn’t want hot girls. If I could write cheques for $10,000 that’s definitely what I’d be doing with MY free time, not traveling or living an interesting life with that money.



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 7, 2014 at 5:46 pm
Original Link

Big reply in mod but what a lot of guys forget in their vision of how this’ll play out (and why a lot of these probably won’t work) is that if she’s saying “No” in THAT dismissive a manner in the first place, that probably means she’s categorized you (unfairly or not) as so low-value that she can even DO that to you in the first place.

So she’s unlikely to listen to your witty little 2 sentence responses that totally zing her or excuse why you were approaching her etc.. If you were high-value enough to her for her to listen to your follow-up to her “No”, you wouldn’t have gotten that hardcore “No” in the FIRST place.

(yes, yes, there are exceptions bla bla)



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 7, 2014 at 5:46 pm
Original Link

Big reply in mod but what a lot of guys forget in their vision of how this’ll play out (and why a lot of these probably won’t work) is that if she’s saying “No” in THAT dismissive a manner in the first place, that probably means she’s categorized you (unfairly or not) as so low-value that she can even DO that to you in the first place.

So she’s unlikely to listen to your witty little 2 sentence responses that totally zing her or excuse why you were approaching her etc.. If you were high-value enough to her for her to listen to your follow-up to her “No”, you wouldn’t have gotten that hardcore “No” in the FIRST place.

(yes, yes, there are exceptions bla bla)



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on October 7, 2014 at 6:16 pm
Original Link

YaReally, HABD, Sentient and the gang – 2 quick questions

1. Any text game suggestions for keeping things warm with (a) a girl you haven’t met yet and (b) had a date and makeout but no sex? I get a lot of online phone numbers and often I have to travel for weeks and can’t meet them quickly. I know I can’t avoid some of them drifting away/forgetting me, but any tips for trying to keep them warm? I’ve read all the standard YaReally/Ripp texting advice..

2. Had a date with an 18 year old college freshman last night from online (I’m 34). Pretty redhead. Went terribly. I’m pretty good at sexualizing/escalating with online girls now (the previous night – 23 year old gave me a HJ in the car, the night before that, a 30 year old blew me in the toilet, all first dates). But this girl was basically just a kid – very very naive, sweet, a bit nervous..she obviously liked me and was okay with kino on her thigh etc but I never got the conversation to engage or sexualize or even hold her hand – she was too uptight – maybe even a virgin.

Now I know some of the keyboard jockeys here might think of her as their perfect girl, but I was just bored and I ended the date quickly (politely). And I know not all 18 year olds are like that, but any tips on how to warm up girls like that? Is it only a question of slowly building comfort over time? Attraction was really not an issue here..it almost felt like this girl was a conservative, geeky (but pretty) shy girl consciously trying to spread her wings at college and one thing she’s trying is dating older guys..


  • YaReally
    on October 8, 2014 at 3:38 pm
    Original Link

    @Culum Struan

    1) “recently I’ve been trying late night feeler texts with cold numbers from months ago and it’s amazing how often it hits”

    This is what I do. I have girls in a few cities where I probably won’t be back their way for a year or so (if ever), and I shoot a text every few months just to make sure they still have my number (sometimes they lose their phone etc.). The text is always when it’s past 9pm in their time zone, and on an off night not a thurs/fri/sat where they’ll be out partying.

    It’s usually referencing something personal like an in-joke/nickname we have. Like “totally saw a (thing we’ve joked about today) lol looks like you were right after all.” Or I’ll complain about girls, like “god why is it so hard to find a girl who (does something she does)”. Both of these are based around “For some reason, I’m thinking about YOU and our connection specifically”…VS texting her something random about my day or a “hey how’s it going these days?” text. It makes them feel special like I was going along not thinking about them and then something happened or I met some girl and that made me remember how cool she was and appreciate her and want to reach out.

    Yes, that’s slightly beta, but because the distance between us (or in your case time schedules) keeps us from seeing eachother frequently, a little beta is okay. If we saw eachother daily I’d want to be a bit more aloof, it’s a balance.

    For new girls who I’ve grabbed a number and we just won’t be able to make meeting up work for a while, I do the same thing but more frequently, like if I won’t see her for a month it’ll be every couple weeks. The main thing isn’t how often you text, it’s how personal the text is…how relevant is it to her and how much of a connection does it re-enforce between you two?

    General rule is don’t go super sexual until you can see the finish line…so if I know I’m going to get this girl out tonight to meet up, I can go a bit more sexual, but if I know it’s going to be a month before we see eachother I’ll keep it flirty and fun until closer to the end of the month. And either way, if I haven’t banged her before, I won’t go very sexual it’ll be more “hmmm I might have to spank you for that” and “you wear THAT outfit and I can’t guarantee I won’t be pinning you up against the wall and nibbling on your neck”. Like PG rated shit.

    If you’ve made out but not fucked, then you’re in high ASD territory because you went too far without seeing the finish line so she’ll be flakier and you have to get her out of ASD territory by turning off all sexuality and probably invite her to do something totally non-sexual in public so she doesn’t feel like a slut.

    2) If she isn’t leaving, she’s into you and wants it to happen eventually. She’s probably just inexperienced/nervous etc. esp if she’s young and you’re an older man. Keep dipping into sexual stuff but don’t go hardcore with it…figure out how to get isolation, she’s going to be waaaaay more comfortable in isolation. Legit isolation not just a dark booth in a lounge, but like get her to your place or go for a walk on a quiet street or as you go up a stairwell stop and kiss her there, etc. With these ones I like to do a quick peck-kiss where I stop them as we’re walking and go like “hold up, I have to do this…” and give them a light romantic kiss then “ok so you were saying about the–” and act like nothing happened. It’s kind of like dipping their toes into the pool and it shows them you aren’t in a rush (because you backed off and kept the fun date going) and it shows that you respect them and all that gentlemanly shit which helps with that type. In the oldschool PUA community we called this general strategy “two steps forward, one step back, rinse and repeat”. Then figure out how to get isolation and you can probably escalate to sex.

    She’ll fuck you the first night like most girls will, but she needs you to figure out why she’s hesitant and how to make her more comfortable (isolation, take it slow, push then back off, etc.). If she meets up with you again then she DEFINITELY wants to fuck you, but she needs you to solve the puzzle for her so she can be unaccountable.

    “3. Yes, I’m trying to reduce my makeouts for that reason. I only do it now because I have so many online first dates lined up for the next couple weeks that I can afford to burn a lot of them by aggressively pushing for makeout and the bar toilet/car BJ”

    This is a good attitude. A lot of my fast escalation I learned from burning online chicks and learning to calibrate. But that’s the key…don’t just push and burn these off and say “cool, whatever” and move on. Actually think about “okay, where did she shut down? How could I have possibly saved that? How could I have avoided it? What would have been a more optimal play based on her personality and our situation?” THAT’S where the learning is. Otherwise you’re just rolling the dice playing the numbers game.



A Test Of Your Game: The No Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Culum Struan
on October 7, 2014 at 6:16 pm
Original Link

YaReally, HABD, Sentient and the gang – 2 quick questions

1. Any text game suggestions for keeping things warm with (a) a girl you haven’t met yet and (b) had a date and makeout but no sex? I get a lot of online phone numbers and often I have to travel for weeks and can’t meet them quickly. I know I can’t avoid some of them drifting away/forgetting me, but any tips for trying to keep them warm? I’ve read all the standard YaReally/Ripp texting advice..

2. Had a date with an 18 year old college freshman last night from online (I’m 34). Pretty redhead. Went terribly. I’m pretty good at sexualizing/escalating with online girls now (the previous night – 23 year old gave me a HJ in the car, the night before that, a 30 year old blew me in the toilet, all first dates). But this girl was basically just a kid – very very naive, sweet, a bit nervous..she obviously liked me and was okay with kino on her thigh etc but I never got the conversation to engage or sexualize or even hold her hand – she was too uptight – maybe even a virgin.

Now I know some of the keyboard jockeys here might think of her as their perfect girl, but I was just bored and I ended the date quickly (politely). And I know not all 18 year olds are like that, but any tips on how to warm up girls like that? Is it only a question of slowly building comfort over time? Attraction was really not an issue here..it almost felt like this girl was a conservative, geeky (but pretty) shy girl consciously trying to spread her wings at college and one thing she’s trying is dating older guys..


  • YaReally
    on October 8, 2014 at 3:38 pm
    Original Link

    @Culum Struan

    1) “recently I’ve been trying late night feeler texts with cold numbers from months ago and it’s amazing how often it hits”

    This is what I do. I have girls in a few cities where I probably won’t be back their way for a year or so (if ever), and I shoot a text every few months just to make sure they still have my number (sometimes they lose their phone etc.). The text is always when it’s past 9pm in their time zone, and on an off night not a thurs/fri/sat where they’ll be out partying.

    It’s usually referencing something personal like an in-joke/nickname we have. Like “totally saw a (thing we’ve joked about today) lol looks like you were right after all.” Or I’ll complain about girls, like “god why is it so hard to find a girl who (does something she does)”. Both of these are based around “For some reason, I’m thinking about YOU and our connection specifically”…VS texting her something random about my day or a “hey how’s it going these days?” text. It makes them feel special like I was going along not thinking about them and then something happened or I met some girl and that made me remember how cool she was and appreciate her and want to reach out.

    Yes, that’s slightly beta, but because the distance between us (or in your case time schedules) keeps us from seeing eachother frequently, a little beta is okay. If we saw eachother daily I’d want to be a bit more aloof, it’s a balance.

    For new girls who I’ve grabbed a number and we just won’t be able to make meeting up work for a while, I do the same thing but more frequently, like if I won’t see her for a month it’ll be every couple weeks. The main thing isn’t how often you text, it’s how personal the text is…how relevant is it to her and how much of a connection does it re-enforce between you two?

    General rule is don’t go super sexual until you can see the finish line…so if I know I’m going to get this girl out tonight to meet up, I can go a bit more sexual, but if I know it’s going to be a month before we see eachother I’ll keep it flirty and fun until closer to the end of the month. And either way, if I haven’t banged her before, I won’t go very sexual it’ll be more “hmmm I might have to spank you for that” and “you wear THAT outfit and I can’t guarantee I won’t be pinning you up against the wall and nibbling on your neck”. Like PG rated shit.

    If you’ve made out but not fucked, then you’re in high ASD territory because you went too far without seeing the finish line so she’ll be flakier and you have to get her out of ASD territory by turning off all sexuality and probably invite her to do something totally non-sexual in public so she doesn’t feel like a slut.

    2) If she isn’t leaving, she’s into you and wants it to happen eventually. She’s probably just inexperienced/nervous etc. esp if she’s young and you’re an older man. Keep dipping into sexual stuff but don’t go hardcore with it…figure out how to get isolation, she’s going to be waaaaay more comfortable in isolation. Legit isolation not just a dark booth in a lounge, but like get her to your place or go for a walk on a quiet street or as you go up a stairwell stop and kiss her there, etc. With these ones I like to do a quick peck-kiss where I stop them as we’re walking and go like “hold up, I have to do this…” and give them a light romantic kiss then “ok so you were saying about the–” and act like nothing happened. It’s kind of like dipping their toes into the pool and it shows them you aren’t in a rush (because you backed off and kept the fun date going) and it shows that you respect them and all that gentlemanly shit which helps with that type. In the oldschool PUA community we called this general strategy “two steps forward, one step back, rinse and repeat”. Then figure out how to get isolation and you can probably escalate to sex.

    She’ll fuck you the first night like most girls will, but she needs you to figure out why she’s hesitant and how to make her more comfortable (isolation, take it slow, push then back off, etc.). If she meets up with you again then she DEFINITELY wants to fuck you, but she needs you to solve the puzzle for her so she can be unaccountable.

    “3. Yes, I’m trying to reduce my makeouts for that reason. I only do it now because I have so many online first dates lined up for the next couple weeks that I can afford to burn a lot of them by aggressively pushing for makeout and the bar toilet/car BJ”

    This is a good attitude. A lot of my fast escalation I learned from burning online chicks and learning to calibrate. But that’s the key…don’t just push and burn these off and say “cool, whatever” and move on. Actually think about “okay, where did she shut down? How could I have possibly saved that? How could I have avoided it? What would have been a more optimal play based on her personality and our situation?” THAT’S where the learning is. Otherwise you’re just rolling the dice playing the numbers game.



Science Proves Asshole Game Works

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mere Indevisual
on October 3, 2014 at 12:26 pm
Original Link

Asperger Game sounds like to me. Need more data to sort out contradictions.


  • YaReally
    on October 3, 2014 at 2:12 pm
    Original Link

    On the note of ‘spergs, PUA can be beneficial for teaching them how to read people’s emotions and learn to interact with society. Tyler from RSD definitely has some massive sperg to him and admits he had no idea how to read social cues for most of his life and would weird people out but not understand why and he had to consciously learn to read those cues (and he still fucks it up now and then which is why his vibe is still weird at times).

    It’s not going to be some magic cure that fixes someone with Aspergers, like I don’t want to belittle the condition as if “oh if they just follow these 5 easy PUA steps they’ll be cured!”, but a lot of what PUA teaches can help someone at least develop an objective checklist in their mind to try to apply in real life interactions to get by a little smoother in day to day interactions. “oh that person is performing this action, that means they’re probably feeling this way, and a good response for that is to do this thing.”



Science Proves Asshole Game Works

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 3, 2014 at 2:06 pm
Original Link

One sign of a good PUA is that he excels at reading people’s emotions. When I’m out I’m hyper-aware of most of the room’s emotional state because it’s relevant to my pickups. If some angry guy is staring me down as I talk to a girl, I need to be aware of that and figure out how to diffuse it. If some girl is into my buddy, I want to be aware of that to help him get her. If I joke around with a bartender and the table of girls across the room perks up and notices me, I want to be aware of that.

And when I’m interacting with people I’m always a few steps ahead of them (I know what they’re probably going to say or feel next, and how I can change that outcome by doing certain things). It’s how we pace someone’s reality and then lead them into the state we want them to feel. It legitimately feels like a sort of minor omnipotence, and it’s a skill that you develop through field experience, just going out a lot and observing people and interacting with a wide variety of them and taking mental notes as you pile up the reference experiences.

But like CH’s article says, there’s a difference between reading someone’s emotions and getting wrapped up in them yourself. In PUA terms we call this “holding your frame” VS “falling into someone else’s frame” and it’s an important concept. When your frame is weak and you fall into other people’s frames, you become very reactive to your environment and you go on emotional ups and downs along with the person. This can make them feel like you understand them but isn’t productive because you end up in as fucked up an emotional state as they’re in themselves and just kind of enhance/re-enforce it. If your frame is TOO strong, to where you can’t identify with other people’s emotions, people feel like you can’t relate to them or understand them and they won’t open up to you or trust you.

So you want a balance of being able to identify their emotions, but at arm’s length where you can empathize/sympathize with them so they feel you understand them and have a connection (pacing their reality), but you’re still holding your own emotional state enough to be able to lead them into a more productive state (diffusing an angry person, cheering up a sad person, bringing a shy person out of their shell, making an AMOG insecure enough to lay off, etc.).

You can get good results in terms of sex by being a totally un-emphatic narcissistic sociopath type, obviously. But to be a really good PUA where you have minimal drama in your life, can get consistently positive reactions from people you interact with, can build and merge social circles, can work a variety of groups and diffuse cockblocks and befriend AMOGs and get people you’ve just met to open up and connect with people from vastly different walks of life, handle people at your work place, etc. you need to be able to read their emotions and strike that balance between empathy and detachment.

This comes up when people get on me about not caring about women and faking all my emotions and being a robot etc. The people who say that are generally the type of people with overly emphatic frames (often it’s women and chodey beta guys who say this stuff) who get sucked into people’s frames and view getting wrapped up in their emotions as “having feelings”…so they can’t really relate to someone, say, seeing another person crying and not crying along with them. Not crying with them is cold and robotic to them because that’s how they interact with people. But there’s a middle ground between not feeling any emotion at all, and feeling too many emotions to where it affects your judgement/state/life/decisions…I love my girls, and care about what’s happening in their lives (I usually let them vent to me about life shit while we’re cuddled up after banging) but I don’t let that emotion consume me or affect my standards/judgement for what I consider acceptable behavior from them.

Also a big part of why my Field Report breakdowns are helpful (and why they take me a long time to write up) is because I know what the guy writing it is going through and what he probably felt in the moment (based on my field experience) so I know how to communicate with him in a way that he’ll understand because I can put myself in his shoes and relate to him on a personalized level where my advice will make sense to him and clear up things that I know were probably foggy for him. If I was an emotionless narcissist I wouldn’t be able to help guys as in-depth as I can. This is part of why Field Reports are important, not just for the guy writing them, but the guys learning to critique them. It’s basically a little training exercise in empathizing with people.

Unfortunately the community in general (from PUA boards to the Manosphere) has grown so large and mainstream that it’s tough to get the really good FR breakdowns. There are a lot more armchair jockeys authoritatively giving adamant advice and lectures based on their theory of how pickup works from the stuff they’ve read in their computer chair or based on their desperate grasp on how they wish the world and women worked while they try to out-alpha eachother as the definitive authority with zero empathy. In the old days on the original message boards the FRs were a fucking gold-mine. I used to almost exclusively read the FR sections because watching guys who go out regularly break down other guy’s FRs was an epic learning resource.

[CH: For concealment reasons, I can't offer my own FRs the way I'd like to, which is too bad. The things I have to tell would make these posts seem tame in comparison...]


  • walawala
    on October 5, 2014 at 2:53 am
    Original Link

    @YaReally I’m also very good at reading people and situations….except when I start to get overly invested in the outcome. Then i get clouded with wishful thinking and over-analyzing.

    My game has gotten tighter this year just from the learnings and analysis last year.

    The experiences and quality of women I’m meeting are much better and overall drama is much lower. I’m doing a lot of things right.

    Two areas I slip up: when I do something that worked on another girl and get a different reaction it throws me for a loop. I need to realize this isn’t a formula, it’s a structure.

    The other area I slip up is not escalating fast enough EVERY time. When i escalate, it’s pure gold.

    I went to my actress’s play the other day. I went back-stage where she was having her make up done. I had a small gift which is customary in the theatre for the lead role.

    She was surprised I came to see her….she was beaming: “How did you get back here???” Me: “I know my way around…” Her: “Is that gift for me?” Me: No, it’s for me, it’s my laundry….”

    She wouldn’t kiss me saying it would mess up her make up. I laughed.

    What’s weird about this girl and some of the others is when I’m with her she’s all smiles and beaming, affectionate. But…she is the worst texter ever. It’s all basically one word. We have a code word we use that sums up whatever we’re feeling that day.

    The most expressive we ever were to each other was when I told her what i thought of the play in a voice text..of 45 seconds.

    To me this interaction is strange because the drama queen I wrote so much about used to text me 15-20 times a day with photos, requests, anything. She once asked to move in together…by text.

    These recent girls I’m seeing just text: “hey babe…” or “morning babe” to me and I reply “oy”.

    If I was advising a dude on here about this, I’d say “You’re doing it right”.

    But in my own situation, it feels odd. The more detatched I am the more analytical I can be about reading situations with 95% accuracy.

    You find that?


    • YaReally
      on October 5, 2014 at 6:58 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      Ya, it’s just being too close to see things objectively. It’s common. It takes a while to be able to step outside the interaction, especially when you’re invested in the outcome. That’s just human, we all drop the ball at points lol Eventually when things get more on autopilot for you, like where it’s all unconscious competence, it’s easier to be analytical and objective even in the moment, but especially when you’re attempting to consciously apply things and observe the results it’s hard to see the full picture.

      When I’m going out a lot and on fire, I can see 50 steps ahead. When I’ve been working all week and barely go out I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I’ll still do alright if I throw myself in and get in the groove and shake off the cobwebs, but that initial “ah shit I can’t believe I missed all those signals wtf” moment is always a kick in the balls.

      Different girls are different, you get used to it. By fluke you can run into a bunch of similar girls for a while and then run into a bunch of the total opposites. I knew one girl who even tho we banged the night we met, I kept convincing myself she wasn’t that into me or lost interest because her txts were always short blunt and expressionless and I’m used to girls who text a lot. I called her out on it and saw some of her other txt convos and it turns out she just sucks at texting lol she texts like a dude just short blunt and logical. The funny part to me was that she had no idea how off-putting her txt style was to dudes and she said she had trouble keeping guys interested. I’m pretty sure it’s ’cause guys thought she was blowing them off when they texted her lol I told her flat out that she sucks at texting and helped her learn to text a bit better but it was surreal at first.

      There’s also what my buddies and I call “relationship texting” which is what a guy who’s used to having a girlfriend does with new girls. Like if he’s been in an LTR for a while and starts gaming girls while in it or if he gets dumped and starts gaming, he’ll text like he texted his GF (replying instantly, keeping things boring and safe making idle chit-chat about the day (because the intense sexual passion had died down of course), big long pointless texts, daily texting, xoxo at the end etc.), and he’ll expect girls to text like his GF texted (responding right away, not flaking, confirming plans in advance, making idle chat, texting to say goodnight etc.) and get frustrated that they aren’t acting the way he’s used to and we have to give him a bit of a bitchslap and tell him he’s single now and these girls aren’t his GF so shit is different but it takes guys a couple months to adjust.

      Just the natural ebbs and flows of game. Appreciate them for who they are, not for who you wish they were…if they were all the same and predictable, you’d get bored. ;)



Science Proves Asshole Game Works

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mere Indevisual
on October 3, 2014 at 12:26 pm
Original Link

Asperger Game sounds like to me. Need more data to sort out contradictions.


  • YaReally
    on October 3, 2014 at 2:12 pm
    Original Link

    On the note of ‘spergs, PUA can be beneficial for teaching them how to read people’s emotions and learn to interact with society. Tyler from RSD definitely has some massive sperg to him and admits he had no idea how to read social cues for most of his life and would weird people out but not understand why and he had to consciously learn to read those cues (and he still fucks it up now and then which is why his vibe is still weird at times).

    It’s not going to be some magic cure that fixes someone with Aspergers, like I don’t want to belittle the condition as if “oh if they just follow these 5 easy PUA steps they’ll be cured!”, but a lot of what PUA teaches can help someone at least develop an objective checklist in their mind to try to apply in real life interactions to get by a little smoother in day to day interactions. “oh that person is performing this action, that means they’re probably feeling this way, and a good response for that is to do this thing.”



Science Proves Asshole Game Works

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 3, 2014 at 2:06 pm
Original Link

One sign of a good PUA is that he excels at reading people’s emotions. When I’m out I’m hyper-aware of most of the room’s emotional state because it’s relevant to my pickups. If some angry guy is staring me down as I talk to a girl, I need to be aware of that and figure out how to diffuse it. If some girl is into my buddy, I want to be aware of that to help him get her. If I joke around with a bartender and the table of girls across the room perks up and notices me, I want to be aware of that.

And when I’m interacting with people I’m always a few steps ahead of them (I know what they’re probably going to say or feel next, and how I can change that outcome by doing certain things). It’s how we pace someone’s reality and then lead them into the state we want them to feel. It legitimately feels like a sort of minor omnipotence, and it’s a skill that you develop through field experience, just going out a lot and observing people and interacting with a wide variety of them and taking mental notes as you pile up the reference experiences.

But like CH’s article says, there’s a difference between reading someone’s emotions and getting wrapped up in them yourself. In PUA terms we call this “holding your frame” VS “falling into someone else’s frame” and it’s an important concept. When your frame is weak and you fall into other people’s frames, you become very reactive to your environment and you go on emotional ups and downs along with the person. This can make them feel like you understand them but isn’t productive because you end up in as fucked up an emotional state as they’re in themselves and just kind of enhance/re-enforce it. If your frame is TOO strong, to where you can’t identify with other people’s emotions, people feel like you can’t relate to them or understand them and they won’t open up to you or trust you.

So you want a balance of being able to identify their emotions, but at arm’s length where you can empathize/sympathize with them so they feel you understand them and have a connection (pacing their reality), but you’re still holding your own emotional state enough to be able to lead them into a more productive state (diffusing an angry person, cheering up a sad person, bringing a shy person out of their shell, making an AMOG insecure enough to lay off, etc.).

You can get good results in terms of sex by being a totally un-emphatic narcissistic sociopath type, obviously. But to be a really good PUA where you have minimal drama in your life, can get consistently positive reactions from people you interact with, can build and merge social circles, can work a variety of groups and diffuse cockblocks and befriend AMOGs and get people you’ve just met to open up and connect with people from vastly different walks of life, handle people at your work place, etc. you need to be able to read their emotions and strike that balance between empathy and detachment.

This comes up when people get on me about not caring about women and faking all my emotions and being a robot etc. The people who say that are generally the type of people with overly emphatic frames (often it’s women and chodey beta guys who say this stuff) who get sucked into people’s frames and view getting wrapped up in their emotions as “having feelings”…so they can’t really relate to someone, say, seeing another person crying and not crying along with them. Not crying with them is cold and robotic to them because that’s how they interact with people. But there’s a middle ground between not feeling any emotion at all, and feeling too many emotions to where it affects your judgement/state/life/decisions…I love my girls, and care about what’s happening in their lives (I usually let them vent to me about life shit while we’re cuddled up after banging) but I don’t let that emotion consume me or affect my standards/judgement for what I consider acceptable behavior from them.

Also a big part of why my Field Report breakdowns are helpful (and why they take me a long time to write up) is because I know what the guy writing it is going through and what he probably felt in the moment (based on my field experience) so I know how to communicate with him in a way that he’ll understand because I can put myself in his shoes and relate to him on a personalized level where my advice will make sense to him and clear up things that I know were probably foggy for him. If I was an emotionless narcissist I wouldn’t be able to help guys as in-depth as I can. This is part of why Field Reports are important, not just for the guy writing them, but the guys learning to critique them. It’s basically a little training exercise in empathizing with people.

Unfortunately the community in general (from PUA boards to the Manosphere) has grown so large and mainstream that it’s tough to get the really good FR breakdowns. There are a lot more armchair jockeys authoritatively giving adamant advice and lectures based on their theory of how pickup works from the stuff they’ve read in their computer chair or based on their desperate grasp on how they wish the world and women worked while they try to out-alpha eachother as the definitive authority with zero empathy. In the old days on the original message boards the FRs were a fucking gold-mine. I used to almost exclusively read the FR sections because watching guys who go out regularly break down other guy’s FRs was an epic learning resource.

[CH: For concealment reasons, I can’t offer my own FRs the way I’d like to, which is too bad. The things I have to tell would make these posts seem tame in comparison…]


  • walawala
    on October 5, 2014 at 2:53 am
    Original Link

    @YaReally I’m also very good at reading people and situations….except when I start to get overly invested in the outcome. Then i get clouded with wishful thinking and over-analyzing.

    My game has gotten tighter this year just from the learnings and analysis last year.

    The experiences and quality of women I’m meeting are much better and overall drama is much lower. I’m doing a lot of things right.

    Two areas I slip up: when I do something that worked on another girl and get a different reaction it throws me for a loop. I need to realize this isn’t a formula, it’s a structure.

    The other area I slip up is not escalating fast enough EVERY time. When i escalate, it’s pure gold.

    I went to my actress’s play the other day. I went back-stage where she was having her make up done. I had a small gift which is customary in the theatre for the lead role.

    She was surprised I came to see her….she was beaming: “How did you get back here???” Me: “I know my way around…” Her: “Is that gift for me?” Me: No, it’s for me, it’s my laundry….”

    She wouldn’t kiss me saying it would mess up her make up. I laughed.

    What’s weird about this girl and some of the others is when I’m with her she’s all smiles and beaming, affectionate. But…she is the worst texter ever. It’s all basically one word. We have a code word we use that sums up whatever we’re feeling that day.

    The most expressive we ever were to each other was when I told her what i thought of the play in a voice text..of 45 seconds.

    To me this interaction is strange because the drama queen I wrote so much about used to text me 15-20 times a day with photos, requests, anything. She once asked to move in together…by text.

    These recent girls I’m seeing just text: “hey babe…” or “morning babe” to me and I reply “oy”.

    If I was advising a dude on here about this, I’d say “You’re doing it right”.

    But in my own situation, it feels odd. The more detatched I am the more analytical I can be about reading situations with 95% accuracy.

    You find that?


    • YaReally
      on October 5, 2014 at 6:58 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala
      Ya, it’s just being too close to see things objectively. It’s common. It takes a while to be able to step outside the interaction, especially when you’re invested in the outcome. That’s just human, we all drop the ball at points lol Eventually when things get more on autopilot for you, like where it’s all unconscious competence, it’s easier to be analytical and objective even in the moment, but especially when you’re attempting to consciously apply things and observe the results it’s hard to see the full picture.

      When I’m going out a lot and on fire, I can see 50 steps ahead. When I’ve been working all week and barely go out I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I’ll still do alright if I throw myself in and get in the groove and shake off the cobwebs, but that initial “ah shit I can’t believe I missed all those signals wtf” moment is always a kick in the balls.

      Different girls are different, you get used to it. By fluke you can run into a bunch of similar girls for a while and then run into a bunch of the total opposites. I knew one girl who even tho we banged the night we met, I kept convincing myself she wasn’t that into me or lost interest because her txts were always short blunt and expressionless and I’m used to girls who text a lot. I called her out on it and saw some of her other txt convos and it turns out she just sucks at texting lol she texts like a dude just short blunt and logical. The funny part to me was that she had no idea how off-putting her txt style was to dudes and she said she had trouble keeping guys interested. I’m pretty sure it’s ’cause guys thought she was blowing them off when they texted her lol I told her flat out that she sucks at texting and helped her learn to text a bit better but it was surreal at first.

      There’s also what my buddies and I call “relationship texting” which is what a guy who’s used to having a girlfriend does with new girls. Like if he’s been in an LTR for a while and starts gaming girls while in it or if he gets dumped and starts gaming, he’ll text like he texted his GF (replying instantly, keeping things boring and safe making idle chit-chat about the day (because the intense sexual passion had died down of course), big long pointless texts, daily texting, xoxo at the end etc.), and he’ll expect girls to text like his GF texted (responding right away, not flaking, confirming plans in advance, making idle chat, texting to say goodnight etc.) and get frustrated that they aren’t acting the way he’s used to and we have to give him a bit of a bitchslap and tell him he’s single now and these girls aren’t his GF so shit is different but it takes guys a couple months to adjust.

      Just the natural ebbs and flows of game. Appreciate them for who they are, not for who you wish they were…if they were all the same and predictable, you’d get bored. ;)



California Law Boosts Secret Sex Video Revolution

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 1, 2014 at 7:33 am
Original Link

Egg McMuffin – $2.79
Small Orange Juice – $1.39
Hash Brown – $1.00
The girl you fucked last night not getting Buyer’s Remorse – PRICELESS.

Time for every dude in California to search for “Buyer’s Remorse” in my archive and do some reading. I’ll even link it for the lazy people:

http://yareallyarchive.com/search/?q=%22buyer%27s+remorse%22

Alphas not only won’t be immune to BR, but they’ll probably be the ones that get it the most because they’re too cocky to think they need to deal with BR. Most of the Naturals I know have a ton of former bangs who HATE them because they didn’t do their after-care managing the girls’ feelings to make sure things end on a positive or neutral note.


  • money shot
    on October 1, 2014 at 8:52 am
    Original Link

    “Egg McMuffin – $2.79″

    disgusting. quality gash would hate a guy for even bringing it up.

    “Most of the Naturals I know have a ton of former bangs who HATE them”

    good. who cares what girls think. worst judges of character imaginable.

    “they didn’t do their after-care managing the girls’ feelings to make sure things end on a positive or neutral note.”

    feelings and management are for orbiters and beta boyfriends.

    so much fear propaganda based on nothing. out of the millions and millions of nightly hookups how many end up with rape charges false or not?

    just the usual bs to keep people from discussing the real issues like mexi invasion, pension lies, budget insanity, horrible schools, water supply, tech bubble, corruption, bloated govt., militarized police force

    cali is a joke


    • YaReally
      on October 1, 2014 at 11:02 am
      Original Link

      Stellar contribution. 10/10. Would read again. Glad you took the time to contribute this to the discussion.


    • YaReally
      on October 1, 2014 at 3:07 pm
      Original Link



California Law Boosts Secret Sex Video Revolution

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 1, 2014 at 7:33 am
Original Link

Egg McMuffin – $2.79
Small Orange Juice – $1.39
Hash Brown – $1.00
The girl you fucked last night not getting Buyer’s Remorse – PRICELESS.

Time for every dude in California to search for “Buyer’s Remorse” in my archive and do some reading. I’ll even link it for the lazy people:

http://yareallyarchive.com/search/?q=%22buyer%27s+remorse%22

Alphas not only won’t be immune to BR, but they’ll probably be the ones that get it the most because they’re too cocky to think they need to deal with BR. Most of the Naturals I know have a ton of former bangs who HATE them because they didn’t do their after-care managing the girls’ feelings to make sure things end on a positive or neutral note.


  • money shot
    on October 1, 2014 at 8:52 am
    Original Link

    “Egg McMuffin – $2.79″

    disgusting. quality gash would hate a guy for even bringing it up.

    “Most of the Naturals I know have a ton of former bangs who HATE them”

    good. who cares what girls think. worst judges of character imaginable.

    “they didn’t do their after-care managing the girls’ feelings to make sure things end on a positive or neutral note.”

    feelings and management are for orbiters and beta boyfriends.

    so much fear propaganda based on nothing. out of the millions and millions of nightly hookups how many end up with rape charges false or not?

    just the usual bs to keep people from discussing the real issues like mexi invasion, pension lies, budget insanity, horrible schools, water supply, tech bubble, corruption, bloated govt., militarized police force

    cali is a joke


    • YaReally
      on October 1, 2014 at 11:02 am
      Original Link

      Stellar contribution. 10/10. Would read again. Glad you took the time to contribute this to the discussion.


    • YaReally
      on October 1, 2014 at 3:07 pm
      Original Link