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YaReally Archive


Obama’s America: Land Of The Twee, Home Of The Fey

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YaReally
on December 18, 2013 at 8:26 pm
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Q: What do you get when you take the skinny effeminate onesie guy up above, make him a brown dude, give him game, and put him in front of pornstars?

A:


  • YaReally
    on December 18, 2013 at 8:31 pm
    Original Link

    booo, I fucked up the links. Meant to link specifically to these two ’cause they have lots of good shit in them:

    Time to trade in your manly army gear for hipster glasses and skinny-jeans! lol


    • Jay in DC
      on December 18, 2013 at 10:35 pm
      Original Link

      Hey “buddy” you know what— you are turning me into a “Matt King” convert. Real talk nigga— what is your point with these vids?

      That brown skinned whores like brown skinned men? And most appropriately crave the ni66a dick?

      Did you ever think, for even a moment, that they don’t have options? Some bitch that has the skin tone of any lesser race has few options.

      European men crave euro-women. Mongolian men, crave euro-women. Slavic men, crave slavic/euro women. African men— LOL— anything not as dark as 90% Cacao dark chocolate. Asian men— “I rerrryyy rike der eyes. Dey have only eyes color in world we like. Blue and Green eyez is rerrrrrry dizirable.”

      There is one race on planet earth able to produce the following— Blonde haired and red haired women. Green, blue, amber, and hazel eyed women.

      This is less than 20% of planet earth. The rest of you 80% niggas? Brown, black. Black, black. And yet, all of you marvel at why NE Euro white girls are the prize…


      • YaReally
        on December 19, 2013 at 7:52 am
        Original Link

        “you are turning me into a “Matt King” convert.”

        It would be unfathomable to you how little I care lol Go ahead and suck his dick, make sure you swallow I heard from Greg that he likes that.

        “what is your point with these vids?”

        That game overcomes being effeminate and gay looking. These days Russell Brand would do better with women than army dude up in CH’s article…if army dude is off getting killed in a war at 20yo before he has a chance to reproduce, and Russell Brand decides not to use condoms and gets 50 chicks preggers a year, what society will be a bunch of those guys in onesies lol

        “Did you ever think, for even a moment, that they don’t have options?”

        Yes, a porn star doesn’t have options. That makes sense.

        No comment on the rest of your weirdly out of the blue race rant because, well, I think you’re an idiot lol But hey, you have Greg’s backing so you’re in good company.



Obama’s America: Land Of The Twee, Home Of The Fey

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on December 18, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Original Link

Q: What do you get when you take the skinny effeminate onesie guy up above, make him a brown dude, give him game, and put him in front of pornstars?

A:


  • YaReally
    on December 18, 2013 at 8:31 pm
    Original Link

    booo, I fucked up the links. Meant to link specifically to these two ’cause they have lots of good shit in them:

    Time to trade in your manly army gear for hipster glasses and skinny-jeans! lol


    • YaReally
      on December 19, 2013 at 7:52 am
      Original Link

      “you are turning me into a “Matt King” convert.”

      It would be unfathomable to you how little I care lol Go ahead and suck his dick, make sure you swallow I heard from Greg that he likes that.

      “what is your point with these vids?”

      That game overcomes being effeminate and gay looking. These days Russell Brand would do better with women than army dude up in CH’s article…if army dude is off getting killed in a war at 20yo before he has a chance to reproduce, and Russell Brand decides not to use condoms and gets 50 chicks preggers a year, what society will be a bunch of those guys in onesies lol

      “Did you ever think, for even a moment, that they don’t have options?”

      Yes, a porn star doesn’t have options. That makes sense.

      No comment on the rest of your weirdly out of the blue race rant because, well, I think you’re an idiot lol But hey, you have Greg’s backing so you’re in good company.



How To Evade Tough Questioning From Women

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YaReally
on December 17, 2013 at 2:51 pm
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“The wild-eyed feminist reader shrieks, “That’s manipulation!””

This is also exactly what feminists and King A do when confronted with logic/questions that they can’t answer. “uhhh, ummm–why are you being so MEAAAN?? You didn’t used to be so rude, why are you mad at meeee? :( Why do you hate women? You’re being a mysogynist!” and next thing you know you’re too busy defending your shit and being side-tracked to remember that you were calling them out on their bullshit. And they do it because it WORKS.

King A’s version looks more like “Infidel! That you would even pontificate that your meager intellectual capacity was capable of discussing this subject only belies your own ignorant self-delusion!”, times like 300 paragraphs, with random scripture quotes mixed in lol


  • Matthew King
    on December 17, 2013 at 3:25 pm
    Original Link

    I admit, I do like to see your little gears grinding to a halt on occasion, rather than the usual screech and stench of them seizing up when overworked and underlubed.

    You got any insecurities other than the one about your “meager intellectual capacity” you want to get off your chest? The doctor is in.

    We can begin with your pot-kettle remark about “300 paragraphs.” How you sad clueless alphaoids do tell on yourselves.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 3:36 pm
      Original Link

      Thank-you for demonstrating exactly what I said lol


      • Matthew King
        on December 17, 2013 at 4:00 pm
        Original Link

        Talk about “evading the tough questioning.” This is one millimeter above making faces and “I know you are but what am I.” Spoken in fluent bitchese, no accent. Sounds like a native language.

        But you’re the guru of game. “Alpha” in all ways except your behavior among men. It’s like you can’t help pulling the thread that is unraveling your costume.


        • oogaboogaman
          on December 17, 2013 at 4:42 pm
          Original Link

          YaReally is a pissant who suffers from special snow flake syndrome. He thinks he’s so smooth that he knows how EVERY one of the husbands he’s cuckolded is going to react towards him, furthermore hes arrogant enough to think that he has such a golden tongue he’ll be able to talk himself out of it. Lastly he has an overinflated view of his own game, in his mind he thinks his game is so tight that he can walk into a beverly hills bar looking looking like a homeless person and still score. If I’m going to follow anyones advice I’ll use Nigelbiggame at least his shits believable.


          • YaReally
            on December 17, 2013 at 5:51 pm
            Original Link

            lol figured this was the Nigel guy trolling again.



How To Evade Tough Questioning From Women

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on December 17, 2013 at 2:51 pm
Original Link

“The wild-eyed feminist reader shrieks, “That’s manipulation!””

This is also exactly what feminists and King A do when confronted with logic/questions that they can’t answer. “uhhh, ummm–why are you being so MEAAAN?? You didn’t used to be so rude, why are you mad at meeee? :( Why do you hate women? You’re being a mysogynist!” and next thing you know you’re too busy defending your shit and being side-tracked to remember that you were calling them out on their bullshit. And they do it because it WORKS.

King A’s version looks more like “Infidel! That you would even pontificate that your meager intellectual capacity was capable of discussing this subject only belies your own ignorant self-delusion!”, times like 300 paragraphs, with random scripture quotes mixed in lol


  • Matthew King
    on December 17, 2013 at 3:25 pm
    Original Link

    I admit, I do like to see your little gears grinding to a halt on occasion, rather than the usual screech and stench of them seizing up when overworked and underlubed.

    You got any insecurities other than the one about your “meager intellectual capacity” you want to get off your chest? The doctor is in.

    We can begin with your pot-kettle remark about “300 paragraphs.” How you sad clueless alphaoids do tell on yourselves.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 3:36 pm
      Original Link

      Thank-you for demonstrating exactly what I said lol


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 5:51 pm
      Original Link

      lol figured this was the Nigel guy trolling again.



Wives Should Submit To Their Husbands

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darkhorse
on December 16, 2013 at 2:58 pm
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@Yareally

Finally sent my first reach out text to married club girl this morning with your approach. Like I said Secret Society game is new territory (“consciously treaded” territory that is; I’ve banged married and engaged chicks before, but none who basically came to me and explicitly said “I secretly fuck guys behind my husband’s back”.).

Although I wasn’t really over-eager to text her, I was admittedly feeling kind of worried that she might not remember me. The interaction was brief, the club was filled with people, the scene was a little chaotic. You thought otherwise, though, believing she would remember me, pointing to the telltale sign that unloaded some super-intimate stuff that she wouldn’t tell just anyone.

Had I devised my own game plan, I probably would sent a reach out text that 1) started off by reminding her who I was, “hey it’s me from X club the other night.” and 2) was stylistically playful and a sexual, “well you certainly have a stripper name.” Glad you proposed the alternative “save my name as Anna” strategy for this scenario. Think one of the flaws with my initial text strategy is that it inherently assumes I never left a strong enough impression during our interaction, and also that I still needed to “win” her over via text with personality.

The text frame you embraced assumed the sale – hard. Conversely, the text frame I was pondering initiating assumed she had gotten excited about the sale, but since time had passed her buying temp had diminished, and she needed a reminder of the quality of the product. First strategy telegraphs “I’m Secret Society”; Second strategy telegraphs “I’m just one of countless club pick up boy trying to run game that haven’t reached Secret Society status yet.” Second way is a great way to be incongruent with her initial perception of me and deflate her libido.

BTW, here’s a simple rule we can extract from the averted text pitfall: reminding women who you are over the reach out text = I didn’t leave a strong enough impression when we met = not preselected for sex = total mood killer for the girl if she was indeed once thinking about you sexually because now she thinks you view yourself as not preselected for sex.

Anyway, fired off first text, telling her “it’s Darkhorse, save my name as Anna”. Was pleasantly surprised to see her text back literally two-minutes minute later. “Darkhorse from X club??? lol”. (Wow that was fast. Faster than the hour or so Yareally gave a signal of strong interest. Cool). She remembered who I was, seemed somewhat happily surprised that I actually reached out.

Like you recommended, I went super direct. “let’s hang out at Y time”. Turns out she’s currently in Florida on Xmas holiday for a bit (out of town). Says it’s “unfortunate” we can’t hang this week and says she’s back the Xth day of Dec. I don’t respond, since don’t want come off as clingy/desperate given that she wants a NSA bang. Not sure, but think a really clingy for a lay would have immediately proposed an alternative meet-up time when she gets back to set up the lay.

Thoughts are the bang is just a matter of 1) getting logistics right and 2) not appearing clingy. I’m thinking maybe waiting even a two week to get back to her after she”s back in town. Her openness to discreet one-time bangs isn’t going to change any time soon, so no need to push for a meet up time IMHO. And up to a certain point, the more patient I appear, the higher value I seem since she clearly hates clingy guys. Wondering how to progress with this, YR. I want to keep the Secret Society frame strong, but also not be so aloof that the bang doesn’t materialize.


  • Tilikum
    on December 16, 2013 at 3:56 pm
    Original Link

    are you willing to never talk to this girl again? drop of a hat walk away?

    cause if you aren’t then just by what you are writing above you are already way too clingy.

    Ya is being nice to you because he is genuinely supportive and believes that men can learn to get better with a ton of practice. I prefer blunt reality.


    • darkhorse
      on December 16, 2013 at 4:31 pm
      Original Link

      of course I’m willing to walk a way at the drop of a hat. wouldn’t care less. this is fun. I’m documenting the thought and feeling process because I believe it helps to internalize the learning/growth process and also because I imagine some other guys out there might face similar situations, experience similar emotions and can grow from my experiences too.


      • Carlos Danger
        on December 16, 2013 at 4:46 pm
        Original Link

        Are you really willing to stab a bro in the back for some ass of questionable quality? God’s helping you out here. Don’t spit in his face.


        • YaReally
          on December 17, 2013 at 9:12 am
          Original Link

          @Carlos
          She couldn’t do it that night cause her hubby was coming home and she didn’t have his # till he txted her and she’s out of town.

          Jesus, did you even read his FR?

          @darkhorse
          Basically ignore everyone but me on this one, in general lol


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:01 am
      Original Link

      “cause if you aren’t then just by what you are writing above you are already way too clingy.”

      Counting calories to get a 6-pack doesn’t mean you have anorexia. Eating protein after your workout doesn’t mean you’re a roid-junkie.

      Relax lol dude is in a good headspace, he clearly doesn’t give a fuck beyond experimenting, he’s just trying to wrap his mind around a new area of game he’s found himself in and analyzing out-loud for the benefit of other guys reading.


      • newly aloof
        on December 17, 2013 at 11:44 am
        Original Link

        @YaReally, Hell yeah, game experimenting is fun as hell, even for a married dude. Went to an upscale bar a few months back where the waitresses are all hotties, wearing tight fitting jeans and shirts (upscale but hip, un-uptight atmosphere). Our waitress was a solid eight, short, big Cs, and an Apple bumm ass like the sistas have, but not quite as big – perfect. She was one of those girls that didn’t have to wear hardly any makeup at all and still is hot. Fair skin, girl-next-door look, 24 ish. Anyway, she came to the table and asked what we wanted, then asked for id’s. One chode of the bunch gave his happily. I was about to give her mine, but she looked at me, looked me over a bit, and said, “You’re okay.” Now, I’m 41 and have some gray wings developing on the sides of my hair, but it’s definitely some cool shit (probably the only thing besides more money about getting older that’s cool). All the reading I’ve been doing perhaps, but something snapped and I decided I had to try some game that day. (also, I doubt she was trying to diss me here. I was better looking than most of the other dudes anyway). I said, “Hold up, did you just look at my gray hairs before you said I didn’t need to show ID?! That’s pretty fucked up and mean!” (everything I say is with a small smirk and raised eye brow so they can’t quite determine if I’m serious or not. That’s my vibe). She instantly qualifies herself, “No, no I just blah blah blah.” She was all smiles though and took the ribbing and our order. Each time she walked into the area and I met her eyes she smiled. Matter of fact, I didn’t have to ask once to get another beer the whole night (she could just be a good waitress, but most of the time I have to ask for that shit). The next time she put a beer on our table I noticed a tattoo on the curved part of her thumb where it meets the pointer finger. The game voice said, “Keno time.” I grabbed her hand as she was walking away and said, “hold up, what do we have here? I slowly rubbed my thumb along her tattoo as I read it, “LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.” I held her hand and replied, “It is isn’t it?” but I said it in a way that said, “You are a hot little minx aren’t you.” She ate it up. Now if I was single, I could have done a 504Danny and asked if her boyfriend approved of her tattoo and taken it from there.
        The geekie chode at the table kind of rolled his eyes. I didn’t care. I was having fun interacting with her. When she brought more beers I thanked her by name (another small thing I didn’t do pre pill). When we cashed out, we all thanked her and I followed up with, “Just so you know, I’ll be thinking about you later.” She smiled and said, “Oh really,” I said, Yeah, I’m dying my hair tonight.” She laughed and offered color suggestions and shit – I laughed and she laughed and we left. The geek said, “Man that was creeper.” I brushed it off playfully replying, “Shit, she’ll remember me tonight, she won’t remember you though.” So, yeah I didn’t get a number and I didn’t get laid, but game improved my night and gave me a fond memory. I”m sure Ya and CH could have worked something better, but that’s not the point. Game is a self improvement experiment that works and is fun. Shit works at work too – just got a bonus.


        • oogaboogaman
          on December 17, 2013 at 1:16 pm
          Original Link

          Ok, so you’re trying to play the lets fuck a waitress/bartender game. First off, you went wrong when you acknowledged this bitch every time she came over to do the job she’s supposed to do. Secondly, if this is your first time with this bitch NEVER thank her especially by name. This behavior is exactly what they expect from every old beta dude.

          So how do I fuck this bernankified hoe Mr.Oogabooga, well instead of yareally wasting your time rattling off some bullshit from a guy named mystery, imma give you the short and sweet. If you’re a regular at this bar start to develop a reputation there. First off, dress slightly better than the average clientelle there. Get yourself a gold money clip loaded with bills, hoes be lovin them dollas, also a nice watch is in order. Come in with attractive women or flirt with women already there. Most importantly treat the help at these bars like the non-entities they are. This is important because these hoes expect every 40 yo dude whose drunk to go gaga over them. Once you


          • YaReally
            on December 17, 2013 at 2:59 pm
            Original Link

            ah shit, ooga’s got me.

            I would have suggested stuff like “talk to her” and “say things that make her emotionally respond to you” but that’s dumb. You can’t get girls by just being a normal flirty fun guy. You gotta’ go blow half your savings on a suit, a watch (make sure you get the right name brand, of course), go to the place regularly for weeks (clear up your schedule, time to become a bar-fly there, you couldn’t possibly get her in one conversation! That only happens in movies), bring in a bunch of Playboy models (’cause you have a bunch of those you can snap your fingers and bring out, right?), and whatever you do DON’T talk to her. EVER.

            Seems solid to me lol


          • YaReally
            on December 17, 2013 at 6:51 pm
            Original Link

            “because bartenders, hooters girls/Tilted Kilt, waitresses etc etc don’t get flirted with by every tom, dick, and harry.”

            Oh they DO…but not WELL. And that’s kind of the point: All those Tom, Dick and Harry’s are running shitty game.

            “Its called developing a presence about urself that distinguishes u from the other drunks.”

            You don’t need to blow your $ on a nice watch and go to a bar 50 times with models on your arm in a suit with a golden money clip to do that…you can do it with just some solid game. And having a nice watch doesn’t make you attractive if you don’t have any game to back it up…if a money clip was attractive to her she would just buy one and fuck herself with it.

            It doesn’t hurt to have that stuff, it’s just not necessary to have it and isn’t worth the time/money/etc investment that a random Joe would have to sink in to get those things. She might compliment your watch but you still need to have enough game to be attractive to her.


  • bob
    on December 16, 2013 at 3:57 pm
    Original Link

    Just reading your post, I can feel the lack of confidence. You are walking on egg shells. What’s even worse, you pretend that “Secret Society game” (what the fuck is that, come on) requires you to “be patient”.

    A cheating whore shouldn’t require so much investment from you. Ideally you don’t want this kind of girl at all. Move on to well-adjusted girls (pretty and humble), that’s how you learn the ropes of game. You will only learn gimmicks and lame tricks from your interactions with cheap girls.


    • AKA
      on December 16, 2013 at 4:49 pm
      Original Link

      I disagree. You cannot learn calibration by avoiding this type of girl or that type of girl. He’s gotta take every opportunity. Besides, she sounds hot. What’s the harm?


      • Zombie Shane
        on December 16, 2013 at 8:40 pm
        Original Link

        > “What’s the harm?”

        Uhh, hhmmm.

        Let’s see here.

        Okay, maybe:

        1) Her husband owns a 12-gauge shotgun?

        2) Her husband’s favorite round of ammunition is the 00-Buckshot @ 1600 fps [cf the Hornady Law Enforcement catalogue]?

        3) Her husband finds out about this shiznat?

        4) Her husband & his 12-gauge shotgun blow [what had been] your fucking head right off of your shoulders?

        Rage Game FTW.


        • onelife111
          on December 16, 2013 at 9:00 pm
          Original Link

          if her husband was a gun owning badass willing to shoot another man for trespassing his property (wife) then I highly doubt she would be cheating in the first place.


          • YaReally
            on December 17, 2013 at 9:23 am
            Original Link

            lol this IS actually a part of it. If you extrapolate what that tells us about him and their relationship further, you get into why it’s not really a big risk and why he’ll be mad at a lot of other people (including himself) before he’s mad at the other guy.


        • YaReally
          on December 17, 2013 at 9:20 am
          Original Link

          I could tell you how and why most husbands ACTUALLY react when they find out their wife has been cheating on them, and I can tell you the general psychological manipulation that wives use to turn everything back around on the husband till he blames himself instead of the other guy…but it would depress you too much because you’re very clearly happy living in your fantasy Hollywood world.

          It’s a risk, but it’s a very low risk. Just like when you start talking to taken girls and realize every boyfriend ISN’T going to shout “stay away from my girl!!!” and slug you in the face.

          I’m not saying her hubby won’t kill him, it’s just a really minimal chance. He could get killed by a jealous friend-zoned Orbiter for hitting on a single girl too tho, so really unless you’re just staying in your basement avoiding women entirely, there’s always a risk involved.

          Also @darkhorse read that 15 Rules shit linked above.


    • immoralgables
      on December 16, 2013 at 6:29 pm
      Original Link
      • bob
        on December 17, 2013 at 4:11 am
        Original Link

        I know what Secret Society is, thank you very much. Problem is, as you can see, it gives newbies an excuse for an half-assed approach: “I have to make sure she knows that I know, let’s take it slow!”. When in reality this Secret Society is highly idealised (you gotta sell that dream man), and not as present as it is described by TD. It’s a terrible concept for a serious approach of game, but I’m sure it’s great marketing (literally gaming your customers).


        • YaReally
          on December 17, 2013 at 9:05 am
          Original Link

          @darkhorse
          All the negative replies like this are WHY you’re high-value to her. Because you “get it” while the other guys are focusing on all the things that could go wrong and all their personal baggage and not calibrating to her situation (“don’t take it slow, just plow through!! Slap her in the face with your dick and say suck it bitch!!!!!!! and if she’s like “oh I’m in bed with my husband right now” just say “gay” and next that slut!!!” lol) instead of just assuming this is all fine and natural and it’ll be a fun time both both parties…which is the attitude that a guy who does this a lot has. :P


      • Matthew King
        on December 17, 2013 at 2:25 pm
        Original Link

        Thank you for that link. It explains much.

        It’s like The Protocols of the Elders of Zion or The Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk for the game community. Truthers, birthers, anti-inoculators, Crack Was Invented by the CIA, now this. High paranoia devoured by chodes gazing from behind the velvet rope. And an anti-criticism defense built right in! If you laugh at the absurd conspiracy, that just means you haven’t been invited.

        Fifty-two percent. Which means Amanda Marcotte, Whoopi Goldberg, and Honey Boo-Boo’s mom are members, but not 96% of men.

        The problem with “secret societies” is that people love to spill secrets. And the first truther from a society that makes up over half the population is one formerly mulleted Owen Cook from Moose Falls, Saskatchewan.

        I understand that it is a learning tool to motivate the denizens of Rising Chumpistan. To make a student strive for acceptance in a club that wouldn’t have him can focus the mind. But the premise is so absurd that it plays better as satire, and anyone with half an ounce of unborrowed confidence is going roar his head off with laughter.

        The reconstructed omega is supposed to transcend the very idea of insiders and outsiders, to found a new sphere of influence, rather than grovel for the acceptance of others (especially flaky broads), and most of all, not sublimate that bad old paranoia into new forms.

        The kind of people who dream up these fantastical exclusive clubs are those who have been psychologically branded in their formative years by being excluded. The rest of us understand implicitly that the need for “secrecy” at the highest levels is superfluous and a bother. The lower classes exclude themselves, and the “new money” social strivers who were not to the manor born stick out like the oblivious impostors they are.

        A “player” would enter that scene and blow it right the fuck up, not seek ways to become a court eunuch serving at the pleasure of a gaggle of bitches whose intrasexual dynamics couldn’t sustain a secret — much less a society — any longer than it normally takes one broad to backstab another in pursuit of a man, which is to say, at the speed of a smirk.

        I am sure the coolguy applicants-in-waiting will fill me in on what I’m missing.

        Matt


        • YaReally
          on December 17, 2013 at 2:41 pm
          Original Link

          You’re just showing your hand again Matt lol Stick to the religion debates.


  • DirkJohanson
    on December 16, 2013 at 7:22 pm
    Original Link

    If you want some Secret Society cred and she’s near Tampa, tell her a guy you know and his stripper girlfriend are going to Eyez Wide Shut swingers club Thursday night for his birthday, and are willing to show her around the club, and have her shoot me an email at DirkJohanson@guyinism.com


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 8:58 am
      Original Link

      Also don’t use details like that she’s going to Florida when you do these Field Reports. Just say she’s out of town. We don’t need to know where exactly she is because shit like this happens…I’m sure Dirk is probably some nice trustworthy dude, but it’s not your place to bring any other people into her shit. And you never know when someone will be reading and go “hey, my buddy’s wife just went to Florida for xmas…….” and start digging.

      Make the specifics vague, you’re fucking with a marriage here.


  • YaReally
    on December 17, 2013 at 8:54 am
    Original Link

    @darkhorse
    “First strategy telegraphs “I’m Secret Society”; Second strategy telegraphs “I’m just one of countless club pick up boy trying to run game that haven’t reached Secret Society status yet.””

    Right. There are times where it’s appropriate to remind her who you are and stuff, but when she views you as Secret Society it’s like meeting a girl at a super high-end exclusive club…you don’t have to DHV like you would at a normal club because just BEING THERE is a DHV. Just BEING Secret Society in her eyes makes you higher value than 99% of the men she met that night, so she won’t forget you and you don’t have to do as much work, you know?

    “Wondering how to progress with this, YR”

    Text her back ASAP: “cool, we’ll hang when you get back”

    Don’t play hard to get, you’re not woo’ing a single girl who has a bunch of options to play off eachother…she doesn’t offer this to every random guy she meets ’cause normal guys would freak out and bring her drama and judge her etc., she knows you’re Secret Society so she needs to know if you’re in or out.

    But the txt I wrote above is also ambiguous, it assumes the sale (“we WILL hang” VS “do you want to hang out when you get back?”) but it’s not specific enough to be too needy (“you get back on the 12th? can we hang out on the 13th?? is the 15th better?? let me know! :)”), and it doesn’t specific who’s supposed to contact who when she gets back (vs “I’ll txt you when you get back!” or “txt me when you get back!”) which leaves her hanging when she gets back because she’ll be thinking “am I supposed to text him now? what if he doesn’t text me? maybe he’s moved on…but he would’ve been a good lay…I’ll just send a little text to let him know I’m back and see if he takes it from there.”

    So when she gets back she’ll send you a “hey I’m back in town lol”

    Don’t expect to hear from her while she’s gone, like you probably won’t hear from her till a couple days after she gets back, maybe even a week, December is a busy month for people so it’s hard to guess…you may not get the lay during Dec, depending on how the season fucks with her emotions/guilt if she does family shit with her hubby etc. But if that happens, it’ll pass in Jan and she’ll still be horny and txt you again lol

    Anyway, when you get that “hey i’m back in town” text, you wait an hour or two (not too long, since she’s going to txt you when her hubby isn’t around, so like don’t wait a day or two), and see when she’s free with like a “cool welcome back.” and try for a meet-up.

    You can probably go a bit flirty and throw in an “cool welcome back. I talked to Santa while you were gone and he said we’re (the “we’re” is setting an “us VS them” frame) on the naughty list.” and calibrate to how she responds. If she lol’s and plays along flirting back, that means you can be flirty/sexual with her over txt. If she lol’s but brushes it off without playing along, that means no more being sexy, stick to just arranging a meet-up like a business transaction, ’cause that goes back to calibrating to whether she’s cautious about her text conversations or not…I’d guess she’ll like flirting ’cause she’s done this before so she’s pro at hiding her txts from her hubby by now I’m sure. One of my girls used to txt me dirty shit while literally sitting on the couch beside her hubby watching TV together lol

    So to recap:

    1) respond with “cool, we’ll hang when you get back” right now

    2) don’t txt her while she’s on vacation, she’s doing other shit right now, but she DOES want to fuck ’cause she said it’s “too bad” you can’t hang out. That’s the signal that she wants to bone ASAP (also the faster you guys bone the less chance of her getting strings attached aka feelings, so you can move efficient on this, you don’t need 2hr txt convos building comfort/rapport etc.). She’d probably sext with you while she’s on vacation, but that doesn’t benefit you in any way…that’s just you having to type a bunch of shit with no chance of getting any actual lay out of it, AND risk triggering ASD or giving away the milk for free, so don’t do it. If she tries to initiate sexting (it’s possible), get into it a little bit, but then leave her hanging with a “we’ll finish this story in person when you get back. ;) I have work to do and you’re a distraction…but a fun distraction lol”

    3) don’t expect to hear from her till a few days after she’s back (the closer to when she gets back that she txts you, the hornier she is, the more aggressively you can push for a meetup)

    4) when you hear from her, throw her a “cool, welcome back. I talked to santa while you were gone and he said we’re on the naughty list.” to test for flirty/sexual texting (it’s okay now because she’s back in town so it can lead to a meet-up, whereas on vacation you can’t physically arrange a meet-up so it’s a waste)

    5) push for the meet-up ASAP and have fun. Be smart, be safe, don’t reveal anything about yourself that you don’t have to, and just act like you do this all the time and it’s no big deal.

    If she rejects meeting up it’s only because she has to work around her hubby and she just needs you to be cool with not freaking out or getting butt-hurt or guilting her or pushing too hard if she can’t meet up or has to flake. Just brush it off as “cool, it’s all good, we’ll try again next time you’re free” like you totally understand that she has an unpredictable schedule to juggle to make this happen.

    Like a lot of guys will push hard like “let’s meet friday” “I can’t my hubby’s here” “gay. just sneak out” because they read that you have to push for the meet-up with girls and don’t calibrate to her situ, and INSTANTLY they’re done in her mind, because that tells her “okay this guy doesn’t GET that I have to be sneaky about this”. Maybe if you were Brad Pitt but 1) you’re not and 2) even then she’s weighing one bang (that might not even be any good) against the complete chaos and drama implosion of her everyday life, so it’s a low % play.

    You want to be that guy that’s like “you’re free this weekend? cool, we’ll hang. oh your hubby came home and you have to flake? all good, we’ll try again another time”. Like you’re always assuming it’ll EVENTUALLY happen (vs “look if you don’t want to meet up you can just say it” or “gay” or “it’s okay, do you want to try again sometime?” or “what about tuesday? wednesday? next weekend maybe?”). Just vague and open-ended until she lets you know she’s free and then you make it happen.

    This is still all a green-light to me. I don’t forsee any problems banging her, probably the weekend that she gets back, depending on when her hubby is away…he may go away to visit family for xmas or something, who knows? She’ll let you know when she’s available…

    Ordinarily you don’t meet a woman on her terms because it’s a trap (she invites you somewhere where she has a bunch of Orbiters etc.) but this situ is different because she’s cheating and she just wants reliable drama-free cock, not to play mind-games like a ditzy 18yo single club-girl lol


    • darkhorse
      on December 17, 2013 at 12:23 pm
      Original Link

      @yareally

      Thanks. Followed your advice. she followed up minutes later, sending me a picture of where she’s presently staying, showing me it’s beautiful weather.

      On the surface that’s a neutral response, but I took this as a sign she’s investing more into the conversation now, so dropped a little sexual innuendo about the sunshine. She totally ate it up. Said her body needs a lot more than a sun tan. I told her to watch out because Santa might bring her a bigger packaged than she expected. She said she was on the naughty list so that’s fine. I could amp it up a little more, but for now I’ll just wait for her to text when she returns and she can have something to think about when she’s on vacation.


      • YaReally
        on December 17, 2013 at 6:16 pm
        Original Link

        Solid. Beautifully done.

        I suspected you could go a little flirtier because her txt naming the club would’ve been something like “darkhorse? From last weekebd?” Where it could be ambiguous if intercepted (maybe it’s her friend’s brother she met at their luncheon etc), thus my recommending dropping a naughty Santa like to test the waters.

        Wasn’t expecting her to keep the convo going so soon so that’s a huge ioi and you did good calibrating to that and not ignoring her, and escalating things. Perfectly played.

        Now do exactly as you plan to and wait for her to get back instead of getting into a sexting thing. You could probably get her sending naked pics…her sending a scenery pic is her way of saying she’s cool with sending pics which means you could have dropped an “I’m sure there are more interesting things there that you could be sending me pics of…”, BUT:

        1) pics are amateur hour, you want sex not a long distance text-fest. Don’t waste your time with that shit cause it gives her too much validation and can trigger ASD when it comes to actually meeting up, and it makes you look desperate VS “don’t you want a pic of my pussy?” “I’ll see it in person.” where instead of jumping at it like every other guy would, you come off more like a guy who’s already seen a thousand pussy pics and is almost bored of it.

        2) getting her off releases the sexual tension. That’s the cow giving the milk away for free. You’re her FUCK-buddy, not SEXT-buddy or phone-sex buddy. The less you give her, the more she’ll be dying to see you when she gets back.

        3) girls love laying around sexting all day cause they get off on text/imagination (thus 50 Shades selling like crazy) but guys want to actually be in the same room fucking. So when she’s on the other side of the country sexting you, which of you is getting what they want and which of you isn’t, you know?

        Anyway, solid stuff all around. Don’t build a bunch of comfort and tell her personal shit about you that can be used to track you down if her hubby reads her txts, she’s attracted enough to bang you already. And for the love of god don’t send her any pics, dirty or otherwise.



Wives Should Submit To Their Husbands

Original Link

via Heartiste

darkhorse
on December 16, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Original Link

@Yareally

Finally sent my first reach out text to married club girl this morning with your approach. Like I said Secret Society game is new territory (“consciously treaded” territory that is; I’ve banged married and engaged chicks before, but none who basically came to me and explicitly said “I secretly fuck guys behind my husband’s back”.).

Although I wasn’t really over-eager to text her, I was admittedly feeling kind of worried that she might not remember me. The interaction was brief, the club was filled with people, the scene was a little chaotic. You thought otherwise, though, believing she would remember me, pointing to the telltale sign that unloaded some super-intimate stuff that she wouldn’t tell just anyone.

Had I devised my own game plan, I probably would sent a reach out text that 1) started off by reminding her who I was, “hey it’s me from X club the other night.” and 2) was stylistically playful and a sexual, “well you certainly have a stripper name.” Glad you proposed the alternative “save my name as Anna” strategy for this scenario. Think one of the flaws with my initial text strategy is that it inherently assumes I never left a strong enough impression during our interaction, and also that I still needed to “win” her over via text with personality.

The text frame you embraced assumed the sale – hard. Conversely, the text frame I was pondering initiating assumed she had gotten excited about the sale, but since time had passed her buying temp had diminished, and she needed a reminder of the quality of the product. First strategy telegraphs “I’m Secret Society”; Second strategy telegraphs “I’m just one of countless club pick up boy trying to run game that haven’t reached Secret Society status yet.” Second way is a great way to be incongruent with her initial perception of me and deflate her libido.

BTW, here’s a simple rule we can extract from the averted text pitfall: reminding women who you are over the reach out text = I didn’t leave a strong enough impression when we met = not preselected for sex = total mood killer for the girl if she was indeed once thinking about you sexually because now she thinks you view yourself as not preselected for sex.

Anyway, fired off first text, telling her “it’s Darkhorse, save my name as Anna”. Was pleasantly surprised to see her text back literally two-minutes minute later. “Darkhorse from X club??? lol”. (Wow that was fast. Faster than the hour or so Yareally gave a signal of strong interest. Cool). She remembered who I was, seemed somewhat happily surprised that I actually reached out.

Like you recommended, I went super direct. “let’s hang out at Y time”. Turns out she’s currently in Florida on Xmas holiday for a bit (out of town). Says it’s “unfortunate” we can’t hang this week and says she’s back the Xth day of Dec. I don’t respond, since don’t want come off as clingy/desperate given that she wants a NSA bang. Not sure, but think a really clingy for a lay would have immediately proposed an alternative meet-up time when she gets back to set up the lay.

Thoughts are the bang is just a matter of 1) getting logistics right and 2) not appearing clingy. I’m thinking maybe waiting even a two week to get back to her after she”s back in town. Her openness to discreet one-time bangs isn’t going to change any time soon, so no need to push for a meet up time IMHO. And up to a certain point, the more patient I appear, the higher value I seem since she clearly hates clingy guys. Wondering how to progress with this, YR. I want to keep the Secret Society frame strong, but also not be so aloof that the bang doesn’t materialize.


  • Tilikum
    on December 16, 2013 at 3:56 pm
    Original Link

    are you willing to never talk to this girl again? drop of a hat walk away?

    cause if you aren’t then just by what you are writing above you are already way too clingy.

    Ya is being nice to you because he is genuinely supportive and believes that men can learn to get better with a ton of practice. I prefer blunt reality.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:01 am
      Original Link

      “cause if you aren’t then just by what you are writing above you are already way too clingy.”

      Counting calories to get a 6-pack doesn’t mean you have anorexia. Eating protein after your workout doesn’t mean you’re a roid-junkie.

      Relax lol dude is in a good headspace, he clearly doesn’t give a fuck beyond experimenting, he’s just trying to wrap his mind around a new area of game he’s found himself in and analyzing out-loud for the benefit of other guys reading.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:12 am
      Original Link

      @Carlos
      She couldn’t do it that night cause her hubby was coming home and she didn’t have his # till he txted her and she’s out of town.

      Jesus, did you even read his FR?

      @darkhorse
      Basically ignore everyone but me on this one, in general lol


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 2:59 pm
      Original Link

      ah shit, ooga’s got me.

      I would have suggested stuff like “talk to her” and “say things that make her emotionally respond to you” but that’s dumb. You can’t get girls by just being a normal flirty fun guy. You gotta’ go blow half your savings on a suit, a watch (make sure you get the right name brand, of course), go to the place regularly for weeks (clear up your schedule, time to become a bar-fly there, you couldn’t possibly get her in one conversation! That only happens in movies), bring in a bunch of Playboy models (’cause you have a bunch of those you can snap your fingers and bring out, right?), and whatever you do DON’T talk to her. EVER.

      Seems solid to me lol


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 6:51 pm
      Original Link

      “because bartenders, hooters girls/Tilted Kilt, waitresses etc etc don’t get flirted with by every tom, dick, and harry.”

      Oh they DO…but not WELL. And that’s kind of the point: All those Tom, Dick and Harry’s are running shitty game.

      “Its called developing a presence about urself that distinguishes u from the other drunks.”

      You don’t need to blow your $ on a nice watch and go to a bar 50 times with models on your arm in a suit with a golden money clip to do that…you can do it with just some solid game. And having a nice watch doesn’t make you attractive if you don’t have any game to back it up…if a money clip was attractive to her she would just buy one and fuck herself with it.

      It doesn’t hurt to have that stuff, it’s just not necessary to have it and isn’t worth the time/money/etc investment that a random Joe would have to sink in to get those things. She might compliment your watch but you still need to have enough game to be attractive to her.


  • bob
    on December 16, 2013 at 3:57 pm
    Original Link

    Just reading your post, I can feel the lack of confidence. You are walking on egg shells. What’s even worse, you pretend that “Secret Society game” (what the fuck is that, come on) requires you to “be patient”.

    A cheating whore shouldn’t require so much investment from you. Ideally you don’t want this kind of girl at all. Move on to well-adjusted girls (pretty and humble), that’s how you learn the ropes of game. You will only learn gimmicks and lame tricks from your interactions with cheap girls.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:05 am
      Original Link

      @darkhorse
      All the negative replies like this are WHY you’re high-value to her. Because you “get it” while the other guys are focusing on all the things that could go wrong and all their personal baggage and not calibrating to her situation (“don’t take it slow, just plow through!! Slap her in the face with your dick and say suck it bitch!!!!!!! and if she’s like “oh I’m in bed with my husband right now” just say “gay” and next that slut!!!” lol) instead of just assuming this is all fine and natural and it’ll be a fun time both both parties…which is the attitude that a guy who does this a lot has. :P


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:20 am
      Original Link

      I could tell you how and why most husbands ACTUALLY react when they find out their wife has been cheating on them, and I can tell you the general psychological manipulation that wives use to turn everything back around on the husband till he blames himself instead of the other guy…but it would depress you too much because you’re very clearly happy living in your fantasy Hollywood world.

      It’s a risk, but it’s a very low risk. Just like when you start talking to taken girls and realize every boyfriend ISN’T going to shout “stay away from my girl!!!” and slug you in the face.

      I’m not saying her hubby won’t kill him, it’s just a really minimal chance. He could get killed by a jealous friend-zoned Orbiter for hitting on a single girl too tho, so really unless you’re just staying in your basement avoiding women entirely, there’s always a risk involved.

      Also @darkhorse read that 15 Rules shit linked above.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:23 am
      Original Link

      lol this IS actually a part of it. If you extrapolate what that tells us about him and their relationship further, you get into why it’s not really a big risk and why he’ll be mad at a lot of other people (including himself) before he’s mad at the other guy.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 2:41 pm
      Original Link

      You’re just showing your hand again Matt lol Stick to the religion debates.


  • DirkJohanson
    on December 16, 2013 at 7:22 pm
    Original Link

    If you want some Secret Society cred and she’s near Tampa, tell her a guy you know and his stripper girlfriend are going to Eyez Wide Shut swingers club Thursday night for his birthday, and are willing to show her around the club, and have her shoot me an email at DirkJohanson@guyinism.com


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 8:58 am
      Original Link

      Also don’t use details like that she’s going to Florida when you do these Field Reports. Just say she’s out of town. We don’t need to know where exactly she is because shit like this happens…I’m sure Dirk is probably some nice trustworthy dude, but it’s not your place to bring any other people into her shit. And you never know when someone will be reading and go “hey, my buddy’s wife just went to Florida for xmas…….” and start digging.

      Make the specifics vague, you’re fucking with a marriage here.


  • YaReally
    on December 17, 2013 at 8:54 am
    Original Link

    @darkhorse
    “First strategy telegraphs “I’m Secret Society”; Second strategy telegraphs “I’m just one of countless club pick up boy trying to run game that haven’t reached Secret Society status yet.””

    Right. There are times where it’s appropriate to remind her who you are and stuff, but when she views you as Secret Society it’s like meeting a girl at a super high-end exclusive club…you don’t have to DHV like you would at a normal club because just BEING THERE is a DHV. Just BEING Secret Society in her eyes makes you higher value than 99% of the men she met that night, so she won’t forget you and you don’t have to do as much work, you know?

    “Wondering how to progress with this, YR”

    Text her back ASAP: “cool, we’ll hang when you get back”

    Don’t play hard to get, you’re not woo’ing a single girl who has a bunch of options to play off eachother…she doesn’t offer this to every random guy she meets ’cause normal guys would freak out and bring her drama and judge her etc., she knows you’re Secret Society so she needs to know if you’re in or out.

    But the txt I wrote above is also ambiguous, it assumes the sale (“we WILL hang” VS “do you want to hang out when you get back?”) but it’s not specific enough to be too needy (“you get back on the 12th? can we hang out on the 13th?? is the 15th better?? let me know! :)”), and it doesn’t specific who’s supposed to contact who when she gets back (vs “I’ll txt you when you get back!” or “txt me when you get back!”) which leaves her hanging when she gets back because she’ll be thinking “am I supposed to text him now? what if he doesn’t text me? maybe he’s moved on…but he would’ve been a good lay…I’ll just send a little text to let him know I’m back and see if he takes it from there.”

    So when she gets back she’ll send you a “hey I’m back in town lol”

    Don’t expect to hear from her while she’s gone, like you probably won’t hear from her till a couple days after she gets back, maybe even a week, December is a busy month for people so it’s hard to guess…you may not get the lay during Dec, depending on how the season fucks with her emotions/guilt if she does family shit with her hubby etc. But if that happens, it’ll pass in Jan and she’ll still be horny and txt you again lol

    Anyway, when you get that “hey i’m back in town” text, you wait an hour or two (not too long, since she’s going to txt you when her hubby isn’t around, so like don’t wait a day or two), and see when she’s free with like a “cool welcome back.” and try for a meet-up.

    You can probably go a bit flirty and throw in an “cool welcome back. I talked to Santa while you were gone and he said we’re (the “we’re” is setting an “us VS them” frame) on the naughty list.” and calibrate to how she responds. If she lol’s and plays along flirting back, that means you can be flirty/sexual with her over txt. If she lol’s but brushes it off without playing along, that means no more being sexy, stick to just arranging a meet-up like a business transaction, ’cause that goes back to calibrating to whether she’s cautious about her text conversations or not…I’d guess she’ll like flirting ’cause she’s done this before so she’s pro at hiding her txts from her hubby by now I’m sure. One of my girls used to txt me dirty shit while literally sitting on the couch beside her hubby watching TV together lol

    So to recap:

    1) respond with “cool, we’ll hang when you get back” right now

    2) don’t txt her while she’s on vacation, she’s doing other shit right now, but she DOES want to fuck ’cause she said it’s “too bad” you can’t hang out. That’s the signal that she wants to bone ASAP (also the faster you guys bone the less chance of her getting strings attached aka feelings, so you can move efficient on this, you don’t need 2hr txt convos building comfort/rapport etc.). She’d probably sext with you while she’s on vacation, but that doesn’t benefit you in any way…that’s just you having to type a bunch of shit with no chance of getting any actual lay out of it, AND risk triggering ASD or giving away the milk for free, so don’t do it. If she tries to initiate sexting (it’s possible), get into it a little bit, but then leave her hanging with a “we’ll finish this story in person when you get back. ;) I have work to do and you’re a distraction…but a fun distraction lol”

    3) don’t expect to hear from her till a few days after she’s back (the closer to when she gets back that she txts you, the hornier she is, the more aggressively you can push for a meetup)

    4) when you hear from her, throw her a “cool, welcome back. I talked to santa while you were gone and he said we’re on the naughty list.” to test for flirty/sexual texting (it’s okay now because she’s back in town so it can lead to a meet-up, whereas on vacation you can’t physically arrange a meet-up so it’s a waste)

    5) push for the meet-up ASAP and have fun. Be smart, be safe, don’t reveal anything about yourself that you don’t have to, and just act like you do this all the time and it’s no big deal.

    If she rejects meeting up it’s only because she has to work around her hubby and she just needs you to be cool with not freaking out or getting butt-hurt or guilting her or pushing too hard if she can’t meet up or has to flake. Just brush it off as “cool, it’s all good, we’ll try again next time you’re free” like you totally understand that she has an unpredictable schedule to juggle to make this happen.

    Like a lot of guys will push hard like “let’s meet friday” “I can’t my hubby’s here” “gay. just sneak out” because they read that you have to push for the meet-up with girls and don’t calibrate to her situ, and INSTANTLY they’re done in her mind, because that tells her “okay this guy doesn’t GET that I have to be sneaky about this”. Maybe if you were Brad Pitt but 1) you’re not and 2) even then she’s weighing one bang (that might not even be any good) against the complete chaos and drama implosion of her everyday life, so it’s a low % play.

    You want to be that guy that’s like “you’re free this weekend? cool, we’ll hang. oh your hubby came home and you have to flake? all good, we’ll try again another time”. Like you’re always assuming it’ll EVENTUALLY happen (vs “look if you don’t want to meet up you can just say it” or “gay” or “it’s okay, do you want to try again sometime?” or “what about tuesday? wednesday? next weekend maybe?”). Just vague and open-ended until she lets you know she’s free and then you make it happen.

    This is still all a green-light to me. I don’t forsee any problems banging her, probably the weekend that she gets back, depending on when her hubby is away…he may go away to visit family for xmas or something, who knows? She’ll let you know when she’s available…

    Ordinarily you don’t meet a woman on her terms because it’s a trap (she invites you somewhere where she has a bunch of Orbiters etc.) but this situ is different because she’s cheating and she just wants reliable drama-free cock, not to play mind-games like a ditzy 18yo single club-girl lol


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 6:16 pm
      Original Link

      Solid. Beautifully done.

      I suspected you could go a little flirtier because her txt naming the club would’ve been something like “darkhorse? From last weekebd?” Where it could be ambiguous if intercepted (maybe it’s her friend’s brother she met at their luncheon etc), thus my recommending dropping a naughty Santa like to test the waters.

      Wasn’t expecting her to keep the convo going so soon so that’s a huge ioi and you did good calibrating to that and not ignoring her, and escalating things. Perfectly played.

      Now do exactly as you plan to and wait for her to get back instead of getting into a sexting thing. You could probably get her sending naked pics…her sending a scenery pic is her way of saying she’s cool with sending pics which means you could have dropped an “I’m sure there are more interesting things there that you could be sending me pics of…”, BUT:

      1) pics are amateur hour, you want sex not a long distance text-fest. Don’t waste your time with that shit cause it gives her too much validation and can trigger ASD when it comes to actually meeting up, and it makes you look desperate VS “don’t you want a pic of my pussy?” “I’ll see it in person.” where instead of jumping at it like every other guy would, you come off more like a guy who’s already seen a thousand pussy pics and is almost bored of it.

      2) getting her off releases the sexual tension. That’s the cow giving the milk away for free. You’re her FUCK-buddy, not SEXT-buddy or phone-sex buddy. The less you give her, the more she’ll be dying to see you when she gets back.

      3) girls love laying around sexting all day cause they get off on text/imagination (thus 50 Shades selling like crazy) but guys want to actually be in the same room fucking. So when she’s on the other side of the country sexting you, which of you is getting what they want and which of you isn’t, you know?

      Anyway, solid stuff all around. Don’t build a bunch of comfort and tell her personal shit about you that can be used to track you down if her hubby reads her txts, she’s attracted enough to bang you already. And for the love of god don’t send her any pics, dirty or otherwise.



Wives Should Submit To Their Husbands

Original Link

via Heartiste

Amy
on December 16, 2013 at 3:08 pm
Original Link

… and yet, many of these feminists have copies of “50 Shades of Grey” under their pillows.

Still, the “women like humiliation for the greater good” passage is much too strong to resonate with many women. I wonder if “humiliation” is a fair translation of what she wrote… as opposed to “led” or “dominated”.


  • BuenaVista
    on December 17, 2013 at 6:15 am
    Original Link

    I openly stated in my online dating profile for the first time this year, in a clear but decorous manner, that I practice a dominant style sexually. Response rates immediately tripled. Even the women I’ve dropped have returned, and returned again, and returned yet again. Now, my dating cohort is educated and professional. I would say that almost all of them would loudly protest any call to behave submissively or in any subordinate fashion to a man. But if sexual behavior is the truest metaphor, there’s a freight car of meaning here.


    • Amy
      on December 17, 2013 at 8:30 am
      Original Link

      Interesting. From a female perspective, it’s “safer” to respond to a man who says he’s dominant sexually than to a man who says he wants a submissive woman. Even though I know men generally want a submissive woman, I’d be hesitant to respond to a profile that put it out there so bluntly. “Submissive” can mean different things to different people.


      • YaReally
        on December 17, 2013 at 11:24 am
        Original Link

        My guess at this:

        Him saying he’s dominant = your fantasy (ie – he’s the fantasy for you)

        Him saying he wants a submissive woman = his fantasy (ie – you’re the fantasy for him)

        It’s “safer” for you to respond to the first guy because the visual you imagine of the two of you matches whatever fantasies you have about a man being dominant so it feels like you know what to expect and it’s exciting instead of scary.

        With the second guy, you don’t know what he thinks submissive means so you don’t know what to expect and it’s more scary than exciting because what if he’s into fucked up shit lol


      • RappaccinisDaughter
        on December 17, 2013 at 11:39 am
        Original Link

        Yes…him stating that he is dominant sexually doesn’t mean that he’ll attempt to dominate you in other areas of your life. When I hear “I want a submissive woman,” I get a mental image of a guy who thinks his wife ought to walk three steps behind him.


        • YaReally
          on December 17, 2013 at 12:01 pm
          Original Link

          oooo, better response. I was thinking purely sexually lol



Wives Should Submit To Their Husbands

Original Link

via Heartiste

Amy
on December 16, 2013 at 3:08 pm
Original Link

… and yet, many of these feminists have copies of “50 Shades of Grey” under their pillows.

Still, the “women like humiliation for the greater good” passage is much too strong to resonate with many women. I wonder if “humiliation” is a fair translation of what she wrote… as opposed to “led” or “dominated”.


  • BuenaVista
    on December 17, 2013 at 6:15 am
    Original Link

    I openly stated in my online dating profile for the first time this year, in a clear but decorous manner, that I practice a dominant style sexually. Response rates immediately tripled. Even the women I’ve dropped have returned, and returned again, and returned yet again. Now, my dating cohort is educated and professional. I would say that almost all of them would loudly protest any call to behave submissively or in any subordinate fashion to a man. But if sexual behavior is the truest metaphor, there’s a freight car of meaning here.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 11:24 am
      Original Link

      My guess at this:

      Him saying he’s dominant = your fantasy (ie – he’s the fantasy for you)

      Him saying he wants a submissive woman = his fantasy (ie – you’re the fantasy for him)

      It’s “safer” for you to respond to the first guy because the visual you imagine of the two of you matches whatever fantasies you have about a man being dominant so it feels like you know what to expect and it’s exciting instead of scary.

      With the second guy, you don’t know what he thinks submissive means so you don’t know what to expect and it’s more scary than exciting because what if he’s into fucked up shit lol


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 12:01 pm
      Original Link

      oooo, better response. I was thinking purely sexually lol



Wives Should Submit To Their Husbands

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darkhorse
on December 16, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Original Link

Not sure the fertility link and general submissiveness is so strong. Consider Japan.


  • Eric
    on December 16, 2013 at 4:56 pm
    Original Link

    Japanese women are not submissive when they’re alone with their man. Not at all.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:33 am
      Original Link

      shhh don’t say that too loud. You don’t want to devestate the roosh crowd by letting then know their unicorn is just a horse with a horn glued to its head.



Wives Should Submit To Their Husbands

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darkhorse
on December 16, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Original Link

Not sure the fertility link and general submissiveness is so strong. Consider Japan.


  • Eric
    on December 16, 2013 at 4:56 pm
    Original Link

    Japanese women are not submissive when they’re alone with their man. Not at all.


    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2013 at 9:33 am
      Original Link

      shhh don’t say that too loud. You don’t want to devestate the roosh crowd by letting then know their unicorn is just a horse with a horn glued to its head.



Chicks Despise Niceguys

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walawala
on December 14, 2013 at 10:38 am
Original Link

@YaReally

Just another update…so it’s our weekly social. I come to it dressed cool, sit in my spot and am wearing the belt my ex gf got me that I hated wearing when we were together. Somehow it now looks cool

She shows up…all smiley and bouncey. There’s an orbiter. I immediately blank her again and dance and game other girls.

The “alcohol” as you put it is there….I make eye contact.

Weird…and I’m not projecting here…I get this ‘invitation’ to ask her to dance….it’s subtle, but clear to me.

Then the smile fades and the energy drops…she’s now acting. I can tell it’s forced because when she sits down she looks over at me, I stare blankly through her, she looks away with a very neutral, blank look until some else engages her.

The “nice guy” theme here is that the orbiter who is clearly making an effort has flamed out. I see how she politely blows him off.

With me there’s a kind of frustration or longing in the eyes that I now stare through and then break and look away or at my drink before moving on to other girls.

Radio silence still. Hard…but your posts have helped me tremendously since that break in No Contact we discussed previously. It’s now 4 weeks. She didn’t buy a ticket to my New Year’s Eve party.

It’s sold out but I built in some buffer for out of town guests…YaReally….Do I invite her? IF yes, how? If no….ok


  • YaReally
    on December 14, 2013 at 1:35 pm
    Original Link

    “YaReally….Do I invite her? IF yes, how?”

    …are you SERIOUSLY asking this? Come on man lol

    You shouldn’t even be going to these parties or letting her come to them and seeing her as it IS. But I get the impression these parties are a social obligation so I don’t harp on that.

    The less she sees of you, the faster she gives up, the sooner you can let her come back. The more she sees you the longer it takes her to give up because she still gets a walawala fix (any news is good news) and thinks there’s still a chance, so the longer it is before you can let her come back.

    So no, no New Years.

    Also you should consider the possibility that you get off on drama lol like that you actually love this whole dramatic Dawson’s Creek love story you guys have going on. That’s not an insult or judgement, lots of people like drama (naturals often love the emotional rollercoasters which is part of why they treat girls shitty and secretly enjoy when girls are ms at them and fight and make-up sex etc). It’s just something you should be aware of for your own self-awareness because if you know you’re drawn to drama that can be something you need to take into consideration when you screen girls and establish relationships.

    Like I love dramatic outgoing obnoxious/bitchy feminine girls that other guys couldn’t handle and I get bored with shy quiet ones, but I don’t like actual drama that affects my day to day life. So I have to screen for certain types of girls and allow a certain amount of drama and develop an extremely strong “oak tree” frame so that their drama doesn’t affect me. Before I got into game I thought I wanted the shy quiet girls, but this is something I’ve learned about myself and what I respond to.

    So consider that you might be the type who secretly enjoys a little drama. That doesn’t change anything with this girl or the situation or how a Soft Next works, but it’s something to look back at your relationships and think about for your own sake :)



Chicks Despise Niceguys

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walawala
on December 14, 2013 at 10:38 am
Original Link

@YaReally

Just another update…so it’s our weekly social. I come to it dressed cool, sit in my spot and am wearing the belt my ex gf got me that I hated wearing when we were together. Somehow it now looks cool

She shows up…all smiley and bouncey. There’s an orbiter. I immediately blank her again and dance and game other girls.

The “alcohol” as you put it is there….I make eye contact.

Weird…and I’m not projecting here…I get this ‘invitation’ to ask her to dance….it’s subtle, but clear to me.

Then the smile fades and the energy drops…she’s now acting. I can tell it’s forced because when she sits down she looks over at me, I stare blankly through her, she looks away with a very neutral, blank look until some else engages her.

The “nice guy” theme here is that the orbiter who is clearly making an effort has flamed out. I see how she politely blows him off.

With me there’s a kind of frustration or longing in the eyes that I now stare through and then break and look away or at my drink before moving on to other girls.

Radio silence still. Hard…but your posts have helped me tremendously since that break in No Contact we discussed previously. It’s now 4 weeks. She didn’t buy a ticket to my New Year’s Eve party.

It’s sold out but I built in some buffer for out of town guests…YaReally….Do I invite her? IF yes, how? If no….ok


  • YaReally
    on December 14, 2013 at 1:35 pm
    Original Link

    “YaReally….Do I invite her? IF yes, how?”

    …are you SERIOUSLY asking this? Come on man lol

    You shouldn’t even be going to these parties or letting her come to them and seeing her as it IS. But I get the impression these parties are a social obligation so I don’t harp on that.

    The less she sees of you, the faster she gives up, the sooner you can let her come back. The more she sees you the longer it takes her to give up because she still gets a walawala fix (any news is good news) and thinks there’s still a chance, so the longer it is before you can let her come back.

    So no, no New Years.

    Also you should consider the possibility that you get off on drama lol like that you actually love this whole dramatic Dawson’s Creek love story you guys have going on. That’s not an insult or judgement, lots of people like drama (naturals often love the emotional rollercoasters which is part of why they treat girls shitty and secretly enjoy when girls are ms at them and fight and make-up sex etc). It’s just something you should be aware of for your own self-awareness because if you know you’re drawn to drama that can be something you need to take into consideration when you screen girls and establish relationships.

    Like I love dramatic outgoing obnoxious/bitchy feminine girls that other guys couldn’t handle and I get bored with shy quiet ones, but I don’t like actual drama that affects my day to day life. So I have to screen for certain types of girls and allow a certain amount of drama and develop an extremely strong “oak tree” frame so that their drama doesn’t affect me. Before I got into game I thought I wanted the shy quiet girls, but this is something I’ve learned about myself and what I respond to.

    So consider that you might be the type who secretly enjoys a little drama. That doesn’t change anything with this girl or the situation or how a Soft Next works, but it’s something to look back at your relationships and think about for your own sake :)



Gaming Bitchy Broads

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Arbiter
on December 13, 2013 at 1:35 pm
Original Link

I believe the entire approach was wrong. Walking up to a group of girls you don’t know and saying, “You girls look like you’re having the most fun here”, that is such an obvious attempt at being accepted into the conversation. There is pretty much no way of successfully, on your own, approaching a group of girls where you don’t know a single one of them. Not unless you’re a hot hunk, in which case you don’t need any methods.

You might say, “What does it matter? If you don’t succeed, at least you tried.” But failure in that situation will make it far less likely that you will be able to game any of the girls later, when you see her stray from the herd. They might also tell their friends that you did a lame approach, which lowers your chances with the friends as well.

Which makes me think of the matter of gaining a bad reputation. This is a very real risk when you do cold opens, especially if you do many of them in an area or social setting where women are likely to learn about it from each other. Yet this is something I never see gaming forums or blogs address, probably because so few actually approach enough women that it becomes a possibility.

[CH: if you believe that talking to women and enduring the insecurities of one caustic bitch gains you a bad reputation, you've failed before you even approached.]


  • YaReally
    on December 13, 2013 at 2:29 pm
    Original Link

    “There is pretty much no way of successfully, on your own, approaching a group of girls where you don’t know a single one of them.”

    …you understand that pretty much the entire concept of cold approach pickup is based around approaching groups of girls (and sometimes guys) you don’t know, right?

    Like, PUAs (including myself) have been getting laid that way for 10+ years lol

    “The risk of being rejected is far higher when he is trying the canned line on a group”

    So? Lol rejection won’t kill you.

    “even if one of the girls in the group might otherwise be interested in talking to him, she can’t show her interest while the others are watching; not when he is so obviously trying to hit on them all at the same time, accepting any takers.”

    Jesus. This is so far off base that I have to assume you’re trolling. If you’re serious then it’s time to re-read Mystery Method and group theory yo.


    • Jay in DC
      on December 13, 2013 at 3:05 pm
      Original Link

      I’m with you on all of this, but you MUST admit that the opener could have been 100% better. That is a line I don’t think I’ve ever used or ever would. It automatically puts you on a defensive posture as Arbiter said.

      Cold opening a set is already a challenge enough without starting it off from a “recovery” frame.

      The fact that they were smoking would have been my “can opener” to pry the top off that canned vag and then start to work one off from the herd. I don’t smoke almost ever but you should at least be able to inhale off a cig. You can bum a light from some chicks and smoothly open right from that alone.

      “Why the fuck do they keep us all in this little area like a herd of retards?” *take a drag*, you have now a commonality they sympathize with— proceed with attack vector…


      • YaReally
        on December 14, 2013 at 1:46 pm
        Original Link

        “but you MUST admit that the opener could have been 100% better.”

        Oh the guy was uncalibrated and shit, I’m not defending him lol. But the actual opener he used goes over just fine when you use it on the right girls at the right time. Canned openers work just fine cold approaching groups, and have for years.

        It’s not really your opener that matters, it’s how you handle the response/vibe/etc (aka calibration) when you open, that matters.



Gaming Bitchy Broads

Original Link

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Arbiter
on December 13, 2013 at 1:35 pm
Original Link

I believe the entire approach was wrong. Walking up to a group of girls you don’t know and saying, “You girls look like you’re having the most fun here”, that is such an obvious attempt at being accepted into the conversation. There is pretty much no way of successfully, on your own, approaching a group of girls where you don’t know a single one of them. Not unless you’re a hot hunk, in which case you don’t need any methods.

You might say, “What does it matter? If you don’t succeed, at least you tried.” But failure in that situation will make it far less likely that you will be able to game any of the girls later, when you see her stray from the herd. They might also tell their friends that you did a lame approach, which lowers your chances with the friends as well.

Which makes me think of the matter of gaining a bad reputation. This is a very real risk when you do cold opens, especially if you do many of them in an area or social setting where women are likely to learn about it from each other. Yet this is something I never see gaming forums or blogs address, probably because so few actually approach enough women that it becomes a possibility.

[CH: if you believe that talking to women and enduring the insecurities of one caustic bitch gains you a bad reputation, you’ve failed before you even approached.]


  • YaReally
    on December 13, 2013 at 2:29 pm
    Original Link

    “There is pretty much no way of successfully, on your own, approaching a group of girls where you don’t know a single one of them.”

    …you understand that pretty much the entire concept of cold approach pickup is based around approaching groups of girls (and sometimes guys) you don’t know, right?

    Like, PUAs (including myself) have been getting laid that way for 10+ years lol

    “The risk of being rejected is far higher when he is trying the canned line on a group”

    So? Lol rejection won’t kill you.

    “even if one of the girls in the group might otherwise be interested in talking to him, she can’t show her interest while the others are watching; not when he is so obviously trying to hit on them all at the same time, accepting any takers.”

    Jesus. This is so far off base that I have to assume you’re trolling. If you’re serious then it’s time to re-read Mystery Method and group theory yo.


    • YaReally
      on December 14, 2013 at 1:46 pm
      Original Link

      “but you MUST admit that the opener could have been 100% better.”

      Oh the guy was uncalibrated and shit, I’m not defending him lol. But the actual opener he used goes over just fine when you use it on the right girls at the right time. Canned openers work just fine cold approaching groups, and have for years.

      It’s not really your opener that matters, it’s how you handle the response/vibe/etc (aka calibration) when you open, that matters.



Gaming Bitchy Broads

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Anonymous
on December 13, 2013 at 7:59 pm
Original Link

I just had this situation with a bitchy entitled princess and here’s how it went, I leave it to your comments for how I handled it:

I invite cute 26 year old to dance in my Latin dance night.

She was looking down at the very time I approached so I had to stand over her rather than the customary eye contact.

Me: You were looking down, I wasn’t sure if you had suddenly gone to sleep.

Her: Laughing, No I was sweating, so I was wiping it off

Me: Ew….gross, slippery.

After we dance first one:

Me: Thanks sweaty girl…

Her: That’s rude!

Me: Me or you?

Her: You!

Me: No, it’s VERY rude…that’s me.

Her: pausing…confused, suddenly starts laughing, “I’m very rude too…”

Me: I may need to pull your hair….then I do

Her: You don’t have any

Me: Behave…. Pulls her earing

Her; pulls me ear

Me: You’re Julie right?

Her; surprised No! I’m Maggie

Me: Do you know my name?

Her: Wala wala

Me; Rude Walawala…or Mr. Rude

Her: You can call me Miss Rude

we danced some more, then I said: “Would it be rude to ask you again?”

She started laughing said she wanted to take a break. It turned out it was her birthday and she was lining guys up to take photos with her….As I was leaving, I approached her to wish her a Happy Birthday; “Behave yourself…”

She laughed.

Since it’s a social circle I didn’t close, I usually leave these interactions open to gauge whether this is genuine interest or just flirting.

But the whole interaction just oozed sexual tension which I kept by smiling and talking slowly.

I think the last line about asking her again was lame.


  • Zombie Shane
    on December 14, 2013 at 6:54 am
    Original Link

    > “Me: Behave…. Pulls her earing”

    Strong Kino like that is awesome, if you are absolutely certain that she is single [unattached] and that the moment is ripe for it.

    But if she belongs to the wrong kind of a dude, who witnesses you doing it [or even only hears about it, secondhand, from one of his homeboys], then his ass just might pick up a chair and crack your fucking skull wide open.

    Or he might be standing there in the parking lot afterwards, waiting for you, holding a 9mm 1911 with a full clip and a round in the firing chamber.

    High risk, high reward – true dat.

    But as Nassim Nicholas Taleb would warn you: It’s callled High RISK for a reason.


    • YaReally
      on December 14, 2013 at 1:54 pm
      Original Link

      “But if she belongs to the wrong kind of a dude, who witnesses you doing it [or even only hears about it, secondhand, from one of his homeboys], then his ass just might pick up a chair and crack your fucking skull wide open.

      Or he might be standing there in the parking lot afterwards, waiting for you, holding a 9mm 1911 with a full clip and a round in the firing chamber.”

      Lol You live in a fantasy land. Leave your basement once in a while and interact with real human beings.

      Solid sarge wala, very solid. It’s genuine interest, enough that you could probably fan the spark into a flame when you see her again.



Gaming Bitchy Broads

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via Heartiste

Anonymous
on December 13, 2013 at 7:59 pm
Original Link

I just had this situation with a bitchy entitled princess and here’s how it went, I leave it to your comments for how I handled it:

I invite cute 26 year old to dance in my Latin dance night.

She was looking down at the very time I approached so I had to stand over her rather than the customary eye contact.

Me: You were looking down, I wasn’t sure if you had suddenly gone to sleep.

Her: Laughing, No I was sweating, so I was wiping it off

Me: Ew….gross, slippery.

After we dance first one:

Me: Thanks sweaty girl…

Her: That’s rude!

Me: Me or you?

Her: You!

Me: No, it’s VERY rude…that’s me.

Her: pausing…confused, suddenly starts laughing, “I’m very rude too…”

Me: I may need to pull your hair….then I do

Her: You don’t have any

Me: Behave…. Pulls her earing

Her; pulls me ear

Me: You’re Julie right?

Her; surprised No! I’m Maggie

Me: Do you know my name?

Her: Wala wala

Me; Rude Walawala…or Mr. Rude

Her: You can call me Miss Rude

we danced some more, then I said: “Would it be rude to ask you again?”

She started laughing said she wanted to take a break. It turned out it was her birthday and she was lining guys up to take photos with her….As I was leaving, I approached her to wish her a Happy Birthday; “Behave yourself…”

She laughed.

Since it’s a social circle I didn’t close, I usually leave these interactions open to gauge whether this is genuine interest or just flirting.

But the whole interaction just oozed sexual tension which I kept by smiling and talking slowly.

I think the last line about asking her again was lame.


  • Zombie Shane
    on December 14, 2013 at 6:54 am
    Original Link

    > “Me: Behave…. Pulls her earing”

    Strong Kino like that is awesome, if you are absolutely certain that she is single [unattached] and that the moment is ripe for it.

    But if she belongs to the wrong kind of a dude, who witnesses you doing it [or even only hears about it, secondhand, from one of his homeboys], then his ass just might pick up a chair and crack your fucking skull wide open.

    Or he might be standing there in the parking lot afterwards, waiting for you, holding a 9mm 1911 with a full clip and a round in the firing chamber.

    High risk, high reward – true dat.

    But as Nassim Nicholas Taleb would warn you: It’s callled High RISK for a reason.


    • YaReally
      on December 14, 2013 at 1:54 pm
      Original Link

      “But if she belongs to the wrong kind of a dude, who witnesses you doing it [or even only hears about it, secondhand, from one of his homeboys], then his ass just might pick up a chair and crack your fucking skull wide open.

      Or he might be standing there in the parking lot afterwards, waiting for you, holding a 9mm 1911 with a full clip and a round in the firing chamber.”

      Lol You live in a fantasy land. Leave your basement once in a while and interact with real human beings.

      Solid sarge wala, very solid. It’s genuine interest, enough that you could probably fan the spark into a flame when you see her again.



A Fool And His Money

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via Heartiste

redpillsetmefree
on December 13, 2013 at 9:53 am
Original Link

Do we get that marriage is legal prostitution?
Do we get that wives have no legal obligation to hold up their end of the deal?
Do we get that the wedding march needs to be changed to “cha-ching for the bride?”


  • David
    on December 13, 2013 at 10:11 am
    Original Link

    Especially if you are wealthy. Here’s the description of the poor dupe in our story:

    “He was 51 years old, divorced and came into the marriage with an “overwhelming pool of assets”. He has a net worth of more than $16 million.”

    Overwhelming, as in he has too much, they have to divert a good chunk of it to the female.

    But this guy sounds like Henry VIII, he has a lot to give but no kids to give it to. He’s doing his best to get those kids and he just keeps getting screwed.


    • Amy
      on December 13, 2013 at 10:40 am
      Original Link

      But… how sorry do we really feel for this guy? He knew what he was buying, he knew why she was marrying him. He chose not to adequately protect himself from the risk.

      It’s like me hooking up with someone like Yareally and then whining I want a relationship. It’s hard to feel sorry for someone who puts himself in a risky situation and then is outraged when things go bad.


      • David
        on December 13, 2013 at 12:29 pm
        Original Link

        Nah she’s right, in fact it’s worse than her hooking with Yareally. Yareally has a lot of intelligence and personality, and he’s a guy with a lot of sexual experience, which is always better than a woman with a lot of experience.

        Pole dancer! FFS, I cannot understand why anyone would even be turned on by that. Hot body, I am turned on, find out she dances in a strip club, I lose all interest.

        Because SHE is a loser. Any woman who has to strip for tips is a loser. Is it strange that I, as a guy, want my woman to be a winner too?


        • YaReally
          on December 13, 2013 at 12:56 pm
          Original Link

          “Yareally has a lot of intelligence and personality, ”

          awww stop it, I’m gettin’ misty.

          “Pole dancer! FFS, I cannot understand why anyone would even be turned on by that.”



darkhorse
on December 13, 2013 at 9:53 am
Original Link

@yareally

Curious how you would handle this situation. Went out last night, hung out with a group at a high end nightclub. Girls at the table are very pretty, hard 8s, five of them. Guys in the group are kind of weak. Notice very pretty blonde (taller, thinner Bree Olson) in our group get man handled by very aggressive guy early in the night. Early 20s, hard 8. Her resistance level was enough low to trigger my taking a mental note of the situation. She shakes him off. Very late in the night introduce myself, we start talking, topic is how guys at a high end places like this are looking to fuck and women are really looking for validation. She agrees, and five minutes into the conversation tells me she’s been married for two years and has secretly fucked 15 guys in the timespan. My vibe is that’s cool, I’m not going to really judge you for that. She says she a bad girl and knows her marriage is going to end, and she’s ok with fucking guys once and that’s that. She says she screens our clingy guys, so it never gets to the point where it’s a problem. Thinking to myself, ok, well she’s DTF. After about 15 minutes invested in the conversation, I tell her let’s leave together now, she says she can’t because her husband is coming back within 24 hours, and she doesn’t entertain logistics like that. I get her number and bounce immediately. She’s hot, wouldn’t mind banging her. Haven’t texted her yet, thinking about holding off until Monday, since weekend is likely husband time, and maybe too early to text. Interesting experience.


  • Tilikum
    on December 13, 2013 at 10:12 am
    Original Link

    never ever ever gas up the ego of an attention whore. narcissistic supply and all that.

    delete her number and ignore the shit out of her. don’t even make eye contact if you see her out. IF she texts you, first its “who’s this” and the ONLY thing you are discussing is meeting up. all other conversations are shelved by you saying “hey i’m swamped but i’d love to see ya, ttyl?”.

    IF you wants to bang ya (highly unlikely) then she is filtering you for clingy. she told you as much. pass the test.


    • darkhorse
      on December 13, 2013 at 10:30 am
      Original Link

      @Tilikum

      Thanks for the feedback, appreciate it. Respectfully disagree with the proposed strategy. This girl is not an attention whore. She likes to get fucked discreetly.


      • YaReally
        on December 13, 2013 at 11:11 am
        Original Link

        Bigass reply in moderation. Don’t txt her till next week, read my reply first.


  • YaReally
    on December 13, 2013 at 11:10 am
    Original Link

    @darkhorse

    Solid. Don’t txt till next weekend, but don’t delete her number (lol, don’t toss away the secret line of communication she extended to you so that you can arrange a tryst without any of your friends knowing you’re even communicating, wtf lol).

    She viewed you as Secret Society, that’s why she opened up to you, which is great ’cause it means you’re putting out “sex-worthy man” non-judgemental sexual vibes. She wouldn’t be having that convo with a guy who seemed like he’d judge her or who didn’t have a sexual vibe like he’d be a fun romp and understand her situation.

    Usually in those situs in the initial convo I drop in a lot of comfort building stuff about how people in society are too repressed and ashamed about sex and that I don’t really believe in monogamy etc. so she knows I’m on the same page as her and won’t give her drama.

    The funny part to me is her mentioning that she screens clingy guys…’cause from quizzing the taken girls I’ve hooked up with, the hardest part for them isn’t finding guys who’ll fuck them knowing she has a BF/husband, it’s finding guys who will fuck them knowing that AND not fall in love and get all clingy and annoying and txt her too much and risk getting her caught or try to steal her from her husband etc. lol Like that’s an actual huge problem for them, the same way a chick you cheated with showing up banging on your apartment door drunk when your GF is there with you would be a problem.

    Anyway, this is a standard by-the-books thing. You shouldn’t have any problem banging her out…just respect that she has a hubby and has to be secret-secret and can’t have long txt convos and doesn’t WANT frequent txts from you, and probably can’t meet up more than once every 2 weeks or once a month because she has to be a ninja and needs you to understand that she’s not going to be as available as a normal chick.

    She knows who you are, she’ll remember you, she doesn’t pour that conversation out to every random, and she warned you her hubby will be home within 24hrs. Don’t txt her till like Friday before noon (around 10-11am), where you know she’ll be at work and not around her hubby and you can possibly have a txt convo over her lunch hour, or Friday evening where she can pretend it’s one of her girlfriends txting.

    I would txt her “hey it’s darkhorse. Save me as “Anna” lol” as my first txt. It’s not asking any response from her, it’s not being too eager, it’s not trying to arrange a meet-up, but it’s letting her know “I understand your situ and I’m cool with it” and putting the ball in her court for her to say “lol how are you?” and for you to proceed from there. If she doesn’t respond for like 2 weeks, then she’s not interested, but give her a couple weeks to reply (odds are she’ll reply at noon if you txt her in the morning, or that night sometime when she has some privacy).

    When she replies, that means she’s got a window of opportunity to have a private txt convo (she won’t reply unless she has a solid few minutes that she can have a quick chat) so don’t play the “take 24hrs to respond” game with this one…whenever she txts you, reply IMMEDIATELY, because she has logistical shit going on that she’s working around.

    Anyway, so when she replies, skip all the small-talk (that part of Tilikum’s post I agree with) and just get right to the point of asking if she’s free this weekend. Don’t mention her hubby, ’cause that just re-enforces that she’s cheating in her mind, treat her like a single girl who just has a really busy work schedule. If she’s not, handle it like it’s totally cool to you, don’t react butt-hurt at all, and she’ll probably offer up when she IS free. If she IS free, clear out your schedule and make sure you’re available to hook up with her ’cause she probably only gets the chance now and then and she wants someone reliable when she needs her fun.

    You can probably skip a day 2 with her, every night out with a guy having drinks is another chance of getting caught being out with another man by one of her husband’s friends. These chicks are usually cool with, when they have a free night, you pitching to just come over for a drink…you still probably can’t say “want to come over and fuck?” because believe it or not even a girl like this could have some ASD trigger lol, she still wants to feel like a special flower.

    But the catch is that suggesting anything “date” like will make her worry that you’re going to be a clinger trying to date her…so don’t offer to cook her dinner or watch a DVD or anything. Just go with inviting her over for a drink or for lunch (I had one girl who’d come over on her lunch hours to bang ’cause it was convenient for her). She knows what it means.

    Same time tho, if she gets flirty via txt, go flirty too and instead invite her over “to have some fun…see if you can sneak out in that dress from last week, I’ve been thinking about it all week”, ’cause that’s her signal that it’s okay to say that kind of thing (like she’s communicating “look I just want to fuck, are we on the same page?”).

    On the flip side, if she seems totally 100% non-flirty, don’t take that as an indicator of disinterest…her not txting you at ALL is disinterest. Her txting you very clinical and non-flirty is her covering her ass incase her hubby spies on her txt convos one day, so in that situ just keep going but avoid being flirty and just trust that she’s txting you because she wants to bang.

    Anyway, hope that helps lol Fuck her good and she’ll come back to you…15 guys tells me she either has a high sex drive or she hasn’t been fucked the way she wants to yet.

    Usually with married chicks they’re bored of the gay romantic half-dead vanilla sex they’ve been having for 2 years, and the other 15 guys were probably one-timers because they weren’t great lays, so I would test quick for if she’s into rough sex…my usual M.O. is as soon as she shows up at the door, pin her against the wall (remember to put your hand behind her head so you don’t bonk it lol done that a few times lol) and makeout and pull a fistful of her hair as you kiss her neck (no leaving marks remember, especially there) and see how she responds…if she’s into it, then slip your other hand up to her throat (don’t choke hard, and make sure you google how to safely choke obviously), but what I like to do is just hold my hand there in a claw shape loose so it’s holding her there but I’m not actually gripping her neck…it’s a close enough effect for the first time for her to know that if she wants it rough you’re not afraid to go rough, so if she responds well to that, then from there be super dominant with her…don’t leave ANY marks, but defile her lol I like to throat-fuck them (start slow and test for how rough she wants it) ’cause it doesn’t leave any marks but she gets to feel dominated and cry as she gags and all that which is probably something she’s not doing with her husband.

    You can take it from there lol

    Good luck, for what it’s worth: to me from my experience with these situs, you have a 100% green light on this and it’s a super routine operation that should be easy as fuck to pull off. Have fun!

    And for the love of god, whatever you do, do NOT drunk txt her this weekend. Write her # down on a piece of paper and hide it and delete her # from your phone, or download a drunk dialing app that blocks numbers on your phone so you can’t drunk dial them.

    Also if you can avoid it, don’t fuck her at her place. That’s playing too risky a game, ’cause you never know what buddy will do if he comes home from his business trip early to surprise her or some shit.

    Also don’t tell her any details about yourself beyond what she knows now. If she asks you shit just be like “let’s keep things mysterious, it’s more fun that way”. Also see if you can figure out who her husband is with some Googling/Facebook stalking, etc. and try to find pics of him and/or what he does for work and where etc. The more info you know about him the better, in terms of safety. Is he a nerdy beta schlub, or is he a gun collector, ya know? lol


    • darkhorse
      on December 13, 2013 at 12:38 pm
      Original Link

      great points. was conceptualizing she viewed me as secret society too. wanted to make sure my follow up communication was congruent with her expectations. thx for the technical breakdown on how to progress. very helpful. new territory for me and view it as unlocking a new level.


      • YaReally
        on December 13, 2013 at 12:59 pm
        Original Link

        No prob, it’s very familiar territory to me lol It’ll work out fine, just don’t get your ass kicked by hubby and understand that she’ll throw you under the bus to avoid getting in trouble. Play smart lol


        • YaReally
          on December 13, 2013 at 1:05 pm
          Original Link

          Also it would surprise most people how many taken chicks are as casual about banging dudes on the side as this girl when they believe you won’t judge them…like, seemingly quality women they would never expect who seem like perfect angels in relationships that seem perfect and are full of Facebook Likes and “omg u guys are soooo cute together!!” well-wishes from friends and family.

          But they only unlock that level and reveal that shit to Secret Society guys. The rest of the normals have no idea that level even exists, let alone how to get access to it, and will vehemently deny it extends beyond drunk bar sluts because it would fuck with their reality too much…if they accept that most girls love cock, how will they ever find that Madonna unicorn they’ve banked their entire future on? It’s a lot easier to just guffaw and chalk stories like this up to slutty bar skanks being whores…that way they never have to worry, ’cause when they find their unicorn she’ll be different. …just like every guy with one-itis thinks his girl is lol



A Fool And His Money

Original Link

via Heartiste

redpillsetmefree
on December 13, 2013 at 9:53 am
Original Link

Do we get that marriage is legal prostitution?
Do we get that wives have no legal obligation to hold up their end of the deal?
Do we get that the wedding march needs to be changed to “cha-ching for the bride?”


  • David
    on December 13, 2013 at 10:11 am
    Original Link

    Especially if you are wealthy. Here’s the description of the poor dupe in our story:

    “He was 51 years old, divorced and came into the marriage with an “overwhelming pool of assets”. He has a net worth of more than $16 million.”

    Overwhelming, as in he has too much, they have to divert a good chunk of it to the female.

    But this guy sounds like Henry VIII, he has a lot to give but no kids to give it to. He’s doing his best to get those kids and he just keeps getting screwed.


    • YaReally
      on December 13, 2013 at 12:56 pm
      Original Link

      “Yareally has a lot of intelligence and personality, ”

      awww stop it, I’m gettin’ misty.

      “Pole dancer! FFS, I cannot understand why anyone would even be turned on by that.”



darkhorse
on December 13, 2013 at 9:53 am
Original Link

@yareally

Curious how you would handle this situation. Went out last night, hung out with a group at a high end nightclub. Girls at the table are very pretty, hard 8s, five of them. Guys in the group are kind of weak. Notice very pretty blonde (taller, thinner Bree Olson) in our group get man handled by very aggressive guy early in the night. Early 20s, hard 8. Her resistance level was enough low to trigger my taking a mental note of the situation. She shakes him off. Very late in the night introduce myself, we start talking, topic is how guys at a high end places like this are looking to fuck and women are really looking for validation. She agrees, and five minutes into the conversation tells me she’s been married for two years and has secretly fucked 15 guys in the timespan. My vibe is that’s cool, I’m not going to really judge you for that. She says she a bad girl and knows her marriage is going to end, and she’s ok with fucking guys once and that’s that. She says she screens our clingy guys, so it never gets to the point where it’s a problem. Thinking to myself, ok, well she’s DTF. After about 15 minutes invested in the conversation, I tell her let’s leave together now, she says she can’t because her husband is coming back within 24 hours, and she doesn’t entertain logistics like that. I get her number and bounce immediately. She’s hot, wouldn’t mind banging her. Haven’t texted her yet, thinking about holding off until Monday, since weekend is likely husband time, and maybe too early to text. Interesting experience.


  • Tilikum
    on December 13, 2013 at 10:12 am
    Original Link

    never ever ever gas up the ego of an attention whore. narcissistic supply and all that.

    delete her number and ignore the shit out of her. don’t even make eye contact if you see her out. IF she texts you, first its “who’s this” and the ONLY thing you are discussing is meeting up. all other conversations are shelved by you saying “hey i’m swamped but i’d love to see ya, ttyl?”.

    IF you wants to bang ya (highly unlikely) then she is filtering you for clingy. she told you as much. pass the test.


    • YaReally
      on December 13, 2013 at 11:11 am
      Original Link

      Bigass reply in moderation. Don’t txt her till next week, read my reply first.


  • YaReally
    on December 13, 2013 at 11:10 am
    Original Link

    @darkhorse

    Solid. Don’t txt till next weekend, but don’t delete her number (lol, don’t toss away the secret line of communication she extended to you so that you can arrange a tryst without any of your friends knowing you’re even communicating, wtf lol).

    She viewed you as Secret Society, that’s why she opened up to you, which is great ’cause it means you’re putting out “sex-worthy man” non-judgemental sexual vibes. She wouldn’t be having that convo with a guy who seemed like he’d judge her or who didn’t have a sexual vibe like he’d be a fun romp and understand her situation.

    Usually in those situs in the initial convo I drop in a lot of comfort building stuff about how people in society are too repressed and ashamed about sex and that I don’t really believe in monogamy etc. so she knows I’m on the same page as her and won’t give her drama.

    The funny part to me is her mentioning that she screens clingy guys…’cause from quizzing the taken girls I’ve hooked up with, the hardest part for them isn’t finding guys who’ll fuck them knowing she has a BF/husband, it’s finding guys who will fuck them knowing that AND not fall in love and get all clingy and annoying and txt her too much and risk getting her caught or try to steal her from her husband etc. lol Like that’s an actual huge problem for them, the same way a chick you cheated with showing up banging on your apartment door drunk when your GF is there with you would be a problem.

    Anyway, this is a standard by-the-books thing. You shouldn’t have any problem banging her out…just respect that she has a hubby and has to be secret-secret and can’t have long txt convos and doesn’t WANT frequent txts from you, and probably can’t meet up more than once every 2 weeks or once a month because she has to be a ninja and needs you to understand that she’s not going to be as available as a normal chick.

    She knows who you are, she’ll remember you, she doesn’t pour that conversation out to every random, and she warned you her hubby will be home within 24hrs. Don’t txt her till like Friday before noon (around 10-11am), where you know she’ll be at work and not around her hubby and you can possibly have a txt convo over her lunch hour, or Friday evening where she can pretend it’s one of her girlfriends txting.

    I would txt her “hey it’s darkhorse. Save me as “Anna” lol” as my first txt. It’s not asking any response from her, it’s not being too eager, it’s not trying to arrange a meet-up, but it’s letting her know “I understand your situ and I’m cool with it” and putting the ball in her court for her to say “lol how are you?” and for you to proceed from there. If she doesn’t respond for like 2 weeks, then she’s not interested, but give her a couple weeks to reply (odds are she’ll reply at noon if you txt her in the morning, or that night sometime when she has some privacy).

    When she replies, that means she’s got a window of opportunity to have a private txt convo (she won’t reply unless she has a solid few minutes that she can have a quick chat) so don’t play the “take 24hrs to respond” game with this one…whenever she txts you, reply IMMEDIATELY, because she has logistical shit going on that she’s working around.

    Anyway, so when she replies, skip all the small-talk (that part of Tilikum’s post I agree with) and just get right to the point of asking if she’s free this weekend. Don’t mention her hubby, ’cause that just re-enforces that she’s cheating in her mind, treat her like a single girl who just has a really busy work schedule. If she’s not, handle it like it’s totally cool to you, don’t react butt-hurt at all, and she’ll probably offer up when she IS free. If she IS free, clear out your schedule and make sure you’re available to hook up with her ’cause she probably only gets the chance now and then and she wants someone reliable when she needs her fun.

    You can probably skip a day 2 with her, every night out with a guy having drinks is another chance of getting caught being out with another man by one of her husband’s friends. These chicks are usually cool with, when they have a free night, you pitching to just come over for a drink…you still probably can’t say “want to come over and fuck?” because believe it or not even a girl like this could have some ASD trigger lol, she still wants to feel like a special flower.

    But the catch is that suggesting anything “date” like will make her worry that you’re going to be a clinger trying to date her…so don’t offer to cook her dinner or watch a DVD or anything. Just go with inviting her over for a drink or for lunch (I had one girl who’d come over on her lunch hours to bang ’cause it was convenient for her). She knows what it means.

    Same time tho, if she gets flirty via txt, go flirty too and instead invite her over “to have some fun…see if you can sneak out in that dress from last week, I’ve been thinking about it all week”, ’cause that’s her signal that it’s okay to say that kind of thing (like she’s communicating “look I just want to fuck, are we on the same page?”).

    On the flip side, if she seems totally 100% non-flirty, don’t take that as an indicator of disinterest…her not txting you at ALL is disinterest. Her txting you very clinical and non-flirty is her covering her ass incase her hubby spies on her txt convos one day, so in that situ just keep going but avoid being flirty and just trust that she’s txting you because she wants to bang.

    Anyway, hope that helps lol Fuck her good and she’ll come back to you…15 guys tells me she either has a high sex drive or she hasn’t been fucked the way she wants to yet.

    Usually with married chicks they’re bored of the gay romantic half-dead vanilla sex they’ve been having for 2 years, and the other 15 guys were probably one-timers because they weren’t great lays, so I would test quick for if she’s into rough sex…my usual M.O. is as soon as she shows up at the door, pin her against the wall (remember to put your hand behind her head so you don’t bonk it lol done that a few times lol) and makeout and pull a fistful of her hair as you kiss her neck (no leaving marks remember, especially there) and see how she responds…if she’s into it, then slip your other hand up to her throat (don’t choke hard, and make sure you google how to safely choke obviously), but what I like to do is just hold my hand there in a claw shape loose so it’s holding her there but I’m not actually gripping her neck…it’s a close enough effect for the first time for her to know that if she wants it rough you’re not afraid to go rough, so if she responds well to that, then from there be super dominant with her…don’t leave ANY marks, but defile her lol I like to throat-fuck them (start slow and test for how rough she wants it) ’cause it doesn’t leave any marks but she gets to feel dominated and cry as she gags and all that which is probably something she’s not doing with her husband.

    You can take it from there lol

    Good luck, for what it’s worth: to me from my experience with these situs, you have a 100% green light on this and it’s a super routine operation that should be easy as fuck to pull off. Have fun!

    And for the love of god, whatever you do, do NOT drunk txt her this weekend. Write her # down on a piece of paper and hide it and delete her # from your phone, or download a drunk dialing app that blocks numbers on your phone so you can’t drunk dial them.

    Also if you can avoid it, don’t fuck her at her place. That’s playing too risky a game, ’cause you never know what buddy will do if he comes home from his business trip early to surprise her or some shit.

    Also don’t tell her any details about yourself beyond what she knows now. If she asks you shit just be like “let’s keep things mysterious, it’s more fun that way”. Also see if you can figure out who her husband is with some Googling/Facebook stalking, etc. and try to find pics of him and/or what he does for work and where etc. The more info you know about him the better, in terms of safety. Is he a nerdy beta schlub, or is he a gun collector, ya know? lol


    • YaReally
      on December 13, 2013 at 12:59 pm
      Original Link

      No prob, it’s very familiar territory to me lol It’ll work out fine, just don’t get your ass kicked by hubby and understand that she’ll throw you under the bus to avoid getting in trouble. Play smart lol


    • YaReally
      on December 13, 2013 at 1:05 pm
      Original Link

      Also it would surprise most people how many taken chicks are as casual about banging dudes on the side as this girl when they believe you won’t judge them…like, seemingly quality women they would never expect who seem like perfect angels in relationships that seem perfect and are full of Facebook Likes and “omg u guys are soooo cute together!!” well-wishes from friends and family.

      But they only unlock that level and reveal that shit to Secret Society guys. The rest of the normals have no idea that level even exists, let alone how to get access to it, and will vehemently deny it extends beyond drunk bar sluts because it would fuck with their reality too much…if they accept that most girls love cock, how will they ever find that Madonna unicorn they’ve banked their entire future on? It’s a lot easier to just guffaw and chalk stories like this up to slutty bar skanks being whores…that way they never have to worry, ’cause when they find their unicorn she’ll be different. …just like every guy with one-itis thinks his girl is lol



Madonnas and Whores

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on December 13th, 2013 at 3:11 am
Original Link

A Beta gets married to a plain-Jane with the best of intentions of staying faithful to her. Then he gets approached by a dozen gorgeous Playboy models who all want him to fuck them the way he wants to fuck them, and who create opportunities where his wife will never find out and no one will know and he doesn’t have to feel guilty at all. He’s never met any girls hotter than his plain-Jane wife before so he’s never had this option or opportunity before.

Anyone think that sooner or later he won’t bang one of those Playboy models?

A Madonna gets married to a lame guy who thought marrying a virgin/Madonna would ensure she would never cheat on him because he’s so insecure that her even THINKING of another man would destroy him. Then she gets approached by a dozen high-value confident men with game who all say the right things, make her feel tingles she’s never felt before, and who create opportunities where her husband will never find out and no one will know and she doesn’t have to feel guilty at all. She’s never met any guys higher-value than her lame husband because he got to her when she was a young virgin, so she’s never had this option or opportunity before, but she’s 25 now and bored of married life and out in the “real world” as an attractive 25yo woman.

Anyone think that sooner or later she won’t bang one of those high-value guys?

Marrying a virgin is a super idea, as long as on top of that you make sure she’s never in the presence of a man with higher value and better game than you for the rest of her life. Better get those chains in the basement dungeon ready while you go on your unicorn hunt, I’m sure she’ll enjoy living there and won’t want to escape when someone comes along offering her something better lol

Guys think they’re going to “cheat the system”. Like if they get a virgin then they don’t have to be high-value and constantly on their shit because they found the loophole.

You will NOT keep your girl faithful for 20+ years if your mentality going into marriage is “I’m terrified that she might cheat on me so I’m going to stack as many odds as possible in my favor to guarantee she never ever ever cheats on me because it would destroy me if my girl even LOOKED at another man because I’m so insecure and have so little belief in my own value that that my girl even THINKING another man is attractive would devestate me and shatter my world” lol Like, could you be any MORE outcome dependant?

Hypergamy rules. Stay high-value and your girl will be faithful. The catch is that being high-value doesn’t involve being paranoid that your girl might dare think other men are attractive lol That’s low-value thinking…you can NOT have a possessive terrified insecure paranoid mentality and also be high-value, the two mentalities are not compatible.

Your response to people asking you “What about other men?” should be a genuine “WHAT other men?” like other guys being competition is the stupidest notion you’ve ever heard. THAT’S high-value, and that’s what’s attractive and what will keep your girl from cheating on you.


George Zimmerman, Beta Before And Alpha After Photos

Original Link

via Heartiste

Rollo Tomassi
on December 12, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Original Link

But, but,..wait, I thought,..

Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks was a myth?

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/12/09/hookinguprealities/crackpot-misogyny/


  • Scray
    on December 12, 2013 at 5:15 pm
    Original Link

    What she wrote makes sense to me lol

    Or at least it fits in to what I’ve seen in the real world. Generally, red pill and ‘game’ will help you land the kind of girls who hang out in bars, clubs, etc. BUT…it’s rocket fuel for attracting the rest of girls who are maybe less extroverted (most).

    It’s actually the opposite of what some anti-game people on here seem to believe, IMHO. Girls who are out to party and tend to “follow the tingle” are the most hypergamous and difficult to tame. (Ya but wat, they’re “low-quality” they’re just “hot and dumb,” etc….they tend to be pretty smart tbh lol). A good majority of other girls HAVE NOT encountered this type of thing. They are with their s/o’s b/c of looks or whatever other nonsense.

    It’s almost to the point where I honestly do believe women need to be protected lol. Maybe 10-20% of women are the type who just ride that carousel and deal with it — with some tears of course. But the other girls seem to be more fragile. Maybe it’s because they actually probably….aren’t doing the ABBB, thing? Unsure, but it does seem that way.


    • YaReally
      on December 13, 2013 at 9:40 am
      Original Link

      “Generally, red pill and ‘game’ will help you land the kind of girls who hang out in bars, clubs, etc. BUT…it’s rocket fuel for attracting the rest of girls who are maybe less extroverted (most).”

      Yep. This is why I laugh when anti-game guys talk smack like game only works in the bar on bar sluts, as if it doesn’t absolutely blow the minds of normal girls in the day-time in non-bar environments where 90% of the obstacles (loud music, chaotic enviro, cockblocks, AMOGs, etc.) are removed.

      That’s like saying boxing only works in the ring but wouldn’t work in a REAL fight on the street against a normal person. like, okay there lol

      The only reason we push for guys to go to clubs is that 1) the girls in a nightclub are dolled up the hottest they’ll ever look in their life aside from their wedding day, and 2) there are a fuckton of them packed into a small area so you can rack up a ton of reference experiences quickly VS walking around downtown for 30 min looking for a decent looking girl to approach…plus 3) it toughens you up so that when you decide to do day-game it’s a cakewalk.



George Zimmerman, Beta Before And Alpha After Photos

Original Link

via Heartiste

Rollo Tomassi
on December 12, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Original Link

But, but,..wait, I thought,..

Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks was a myth?

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/12/09/hookinguprealities/crackpot-misogyny/


  • Scray
    on December 12, 2013 at 5:15 pm
    Original Link

    What she wrote makes sense to me lol

    Or at least it fits in to what I’ve seen in the real world. Generally, red pill and ‘game’ will help you land the kind of girls who hang out in bars, clubs, etc. BUT…it’s rocket fuel for attracting the rest of girls who are maybe less extroverted (most).

    It’s actually the opposite of what some anti-game people on here seem to believe, IMHO. Girls who are out to party and tend to “follow the tingle” are the most hypergamous and difficult to tame. (Ya but wat, they’re “low-quality” they’re just “hot and dumb,” etc….they tend to be pretty smart tbh lol). A good majority of other girls HAVE NOT encountered this type of thing. They are with their s/o’s b/c of looks or whatever other nonsense.

    It’s almost to the point where I honestly do believe women need to be protected lol. Maybe 10-20% of women are the type who just ride that carousel and deal with it — with some tears of course. But the other girls seem to be more fragile. Maybe it’s because they actually probably….aren’t doing the ABBB, thing? Unsure, but it does seem that way.


    • YaReally
      on December 13, 2013 at 9:40 am
      Original Link

      “Generally, red pill and ‘game’ will help you land the kind of girls who hang out in bars, clubs, etc. BUT…it’s rocket fuel for attracting the rest of girls who are maybe less extroverted (most).”

      Yep. This is why I laugh when anti-game guys talk smack like game only works in the bar on bar sluts, as if it doesn’t absolutely blow the minds of normal girls in the day-time in non-bar environments where 90% of the obstacles (loud music, chaotic enviro, cockblocks, AMOGs, etc.) are removed.

      That’s like saying boxing only works in the ring but wouldn’t work in a REAL fight on the street against a normal person. like, okay there lol

      The only reason we push for guys to go to clubs is that 1) the girls in a nightclub are dolled up the hottest they’ll ever look in their life aside from their wedding day, and 2) there are a fuckton of them packed into a small area so you can rack up a ton of reference experiences quickly VS walking around downtown for 30 min looking for a decent looking girl to approach…plus 3) it toughens you up so that when you decide to do day-game it’s a cakewalk.



The Sociosexual Dynamics Of Group Photos

Original Link

via Heartiste

RappaccinisDaughter
on December 11, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Original Link

The one in the back whose face is mostly obscured by a rocks glass and is making the “coercion” sign with her left hand is me.

Unless I’m already tipsy, in which case, it’s a finger gun, pointed at my head.

Or if I’m drunk, in which case, it’s just the Shocker.

Why some girls think every goddamn thing has to be photographed, I’ll never understand.

[CH: girls think this because the power of their beauty is fleeting. they want it captured for eternity. oh, and they also like to feel admired and glamorous.]


  • RappaccinisDaughter
    on December 11, 2013 at 2:34 pm
    Original Link

    My suspicion has always been that it’s because some chicks don’t think they’re having fun unless everyone around them KNOWS how much fun they’re having. Hence the ritualistic group photos that must be instantly uploaded to every social media outlet in existence, followed with the antiphonic screeches of “WOOOO!”

    I mean, everybody likes to feel admired and glamorous. But it would seem that it would be a bit easier to feel admired and glamorous if you were paying attention to what’s happening around you, vice being totally absorbed in your stupid little electronic binkie.

    True story: Last time I was in Vegas, I was at this really great nightclub. One of these places where you don’t even get to sit down unless you plunk down $500 for a table and at least $125 for a bottle. DJ, naked chicks in bathtubs, the whole nine yards. I’m dancing and I look over and here’s this table of girls who were clearly either models, strippers, or both. 9s and 10s every one. And they’re not dancing. They’re not drinking. They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.

    I’m an anthropologist at heart, so I started glancing over every couple of minutes, just to see what they were doing. The only time they looked up from their phones was to take pictures and yell “WOO!” Then they’d go right back to their iPacifiers.

    [CH: women like to "submit" to the camera. it's a stand-in for a dominant, judgemental man. another consideration is that we're living in the age of narcissism. social atomization combined with self-regard and instant whoring social media produces women in love with the lens.]


    • Grim
      on December 11, 2013 at 2:42 pm
      Original Link

      and on dating sites like match, of course, 90% of female photos are group attention whore photos with them holding girly drinks with 4 to 8 friends. some of them have *only* these photos so the man literally cannot tell which one is the creator of the profile. I make fun of these whores.


      • dickfor
        on December 11, 2013 at 4:00 pm
        Original Link

        My OKC profile:

        What I’m doing with my life:
        “Trying to figure out which one is you. You know you have like five pictures of you and the same six friends, right? Could you add a circle or arrow or something? Until then I’m assuming you are the awkward looking one.”


        • RappaccinisDaughter
          on December 11, 2013 at 7:12 pm
          Original Link

          What’s a dickfor?


          • YaReally
            on December 12, 2013 at 9:30 pm
            Original Link

            “I’m not here looking for love”

            Shit, that whole scarred fallopian tube thing got me hard…NOW what?

            Guess it’s off to King A’s mom’s website for some release.


    • YaReally
      on December 11, 2013 at 9:07 pm
      Original Link

      “I look over and here’s this table of girls who were clearly either models, strippers, or both. 9s and 10s every one. And they’re not dancing. They’re not drinking. They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.”

      They were hookers. Welcome to Vegas, where the working girls work the nightclubs. Some of them even make up elaborate backstories to sound like they aren’t hookers and don’t trigger the guy’s “ASD” (“guys look at this hot girl way out of my beta league that I met who totally isn’t a hooker because she says she’s a dentist from Wisconsin on a bachelorette party!! She says her friends are all going home but she wants to keep partying and just broke up with her boyfriend and is only in Vegas for one more night and her hotel room is in the same hotel as mine!!” lol).

      It was a mindfuck the first time I partied there and learned hookers weren’t always the toothless old crack addict on the street corner like in the movies lol


      • YaReally
        on December 11, 2013 at 9:18 pm
        Original Link

        “They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.”

        For clarification, with the advent of smartphones they don’t have to troll the actual club and risk running into cops anymore except as a last resort or out of convenience or till certain times in the night etc.

        They’re txting their regular clients, setting up a meet if they’re in town or just stoking the fire all “miss you babe I hate Vegas I wish I could escape this life but I have so many bills to pay :( :( this one guy is so creepy I wish someone could just take me away from this life :( miss youuuu xoxoxo” style.

        They’re also managing/replying to their Plenty of Fish profile and escort site e-mails cause they can do that from their phones now. The group photos are probably part of a “bring your friends and meet my sexy girlfriends!!” thing.

        Vegas hookers are pro at their craft lol


      • Tilikum
        on December 12, 2013 at 3:28 am
        Original Link

        argh, ASU is full of hookers!


        • YaReally
          on December 12, 2013 at 9:21 am
          Original Link

          lol if it were any other city I’d call it just a weak girls’ night out. But Vegas is it’s own special little microcosm.


      • FH
        on December 12, 2013 at 9:14 am
        Original Link

        “They were hookers. Welcome to Vegas, where the working girls work the nightclubs. Some of them even make up elaborate backstories to sound like they aren’t hookers and don’t trigger the guy’s “ASD” (“guys look at this hot girl way out of my beta league that I met who totally isn’t a hooker because she says she’s a dentist from Wisconsin on a bachelorette party!! She says her friends are all going home but she wants to keep partying and just broke up with her boyfriend and is only in Vegas for one more night and her hotel room is in the same hotel as mine!!” lol).”

        Assuming they wait until they’re actually in said hotel room, doesn’t the, shall we say, sticker shock [for want of a better term] sort of wreck the deal for the hooker, or is the guy so into the illusion of being so suave that he was able to pick up a 9/10 that he doesn’t care he’s being hit for a few C-notes?


        • YaReally
          on December 12, 2013 at 9:28 am
          Original Link

          “or is the guy so into the illusion of being so suave that he was able to pick up a 9/10 that he doesn’t care he’s being hit for a few C-notes?”

          I haven’t gotten a hooker before, but I’m guessing this is what happens. Imagine you’re some random generic dude and you walk out of the club with this hottie on your arm and all your friends think you’re a total boss and she’s hotter than any chick you’ve ever even SEEN in your little home-town, let alone TALKED TO, let alone LIKES YOU. Then she strokes your ego a bunch and tells you her pimp’ll be mad at her if she doesn’t charge but she wishes she didn’t have to because you’re different than all the other guys and she’ll give you her personal phone number to txt her and if only one day she can meet some nice rich guy who can take her away from this life etc. etc.

          And now that guy is one of those dudes she’s txting at the club.

          Same thing if you’re a player type and fall for it, she’s still smokin hot and all your buddies will be askin you if you nailed her and bla bla and she’s already in your room and gorgeous and you’re in Vegas and dropped $200 on the blackjack table downstairs earlier anyway so you’re already in an enviro where you’re throwing money around and you don’t want your buddies to think you’re some fag who couldn’t get laid, so drop a few bills and tell your buddies the same story she fed you so they don’t think she was a hooker (or hell, say she was a hooker but worth it ’cause she was so hot), etc.

          The only guys who would really legit kick her out would be super shy betas who would be too freaked out by doing something illegal or the sinfulness of it all, and I’m sure they learn to screen for those guys quickly. The other guys who would throw them out are legit alphas who get laid a lot and wouldn’t pay for sex and would just be like “lol get the fuck out, hooker” like a dick, and those guys would probably be guys they’d fuck for fun and not bring up being a hooker at all lol

          Like I say, Vegas hookers are pro at this shit.



The Sociosexual Dynamics Of Group Photos

Original Link

via Heartiste

RappaccinisDaughter
on December 11, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Original Link

The one in the back whose face is mostly obscured by a rocks glass and is making the “coercion” sign with her left hand is me.

Unless I’m already tipsy, in which case, it’s a finger gun, pointed at my head.

Or if I’m drunk, in which case, it’s just the Shocker.

Why some girls think every goddamn thing has to be photographed, I’ll never understand.

[CH: girls think this because the power of their beauty is fleeting. they want it captured for eternity. oh, and they also like to feel admired and glamorous.]


  • RappaccinisDaughter
    on December 11, 2013 at 2:34 pm
    Original Link

    My suspicion has always been that it’s because some chicks don’t think they’re having fun unless everyone around them KNOWS how much fun they’re having. Hence the ritualistic group photos that must be instantly uploaded to every social media outlet in existence, followed with the antiphonic screeches of “WOOOO!”

    I mean, everybody likes to feel admired and glamorous. But it would seem that it would be a bit easier to feel admired and glamorous if you were paying attention to what’s happening around you, vice being totally absorbed in your stupid little electronic binkie.

    True story: Last time I was in Vegas, I was at this really great nightclub. One of these places where you don’t even get to sit down unless you plunk down $500 for a table and at least $125 for a bottle. DJ, naked chicks in bathtubs, the whole nine yards. I’m dancing and I look over and here’s this table of girls who were clearly either models, strippers, or both. 9s and 10s every one. And they’re not dancing. They’re not drinking. They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.

    I’m an anthropologist at heart, so I started glancing over every couple of minutes, just to see what they were doing. The only time they looked up from their phones was to take pictures and yell “WOO!” Then they’d go right back to their iPacifiers.

    [CH: women like to “submit” to the camera. it’s a stand-in for a dominant, judgemental man. another consideration is that we’re living in the age of narcissism. social atomization combined with self-regard and instant whoring social media produces women in love with the lens.]


    • YaReally
      on December 11, 2013 at 9:07 pm
      Original Link

      “I look over and here’s this table of girls who were clearly either models, strippers, or both. 9s and 10s every one. And they’re not dancing. They’re not drinking. They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.”

      They were hookers. Welcome to Vegas, where the working girls work the nightclubs. Some of them even make up elaborate backstories to sound like they aren’t hookers and don’t trigger the guy’s “ASD” (“guys look at this hot girl way out of my beta league that I met who totally isn’t a hooker because she says she’s a dentist from Wisconsin on a bachelorette party!! She says her friends are all going home but she wants to keep partying and just broke up with her boyfriend and is only in Vegas for one more night and her hotel room is in the same hotel as mine!!” lol).

      It was a mindfuck the first time I partied there and learned hookers weren’t always the toothless old crack addict on the street corner like in the movies lol


    • YaReally
      on December 11, 2013 at 9:18 pm
      Original Link

      “They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.”

      For clarification, with the advent of smartphones they don’t have to troll the actual club and risk running into cops anymore except as a last resort or out of convenience or till certain times in the night etc.

      They’re txting their regular clients, setting up a meet if they’re in town or just stoking the fire all “miss you babe I hate Vegas I wish I could escape this life but I have so many bills to pay :( :( this one guy is so creepy I wish someone could just take me away from this life :( miss youuuu xoxoxo” style.

      They’re also managing/replying to their Plenty of Fish profile and escort site e-mails cause they can do that from their phones now. The group photos are probably part of a “bring your friends and meet my sexy girlfriends!!” thing.

      Vegas hookers are pro at their craft lol


    • YaReally
      on December 12, 2013 at 9:21 am
      Original Link

      lol if it were any other city I’d call it just a weak girls’ night out. But Vegas is it’s own special little microcosm.


    • YaReally
      on December 12, 2013 at 9:28 am
      Original Link

      “or is the guy so into the illusion of being so suave that he was able to pick up a 9/10 that he doesn’t care he’s being hit for a few C-notes?”

      I haven’t gotten a hooker before, but I’m guessing this is what happens. Imagine you’re some random generic dude and you walk out of the club with this hottie on your arm and all your friends think you’re a total boss and she’s hotter than any chick you’ve ever even SEEN in your little home-town, let alone TALKED TO, let alone LIKES YOU. Then she strokes your ego a bunch and tells you her pimp’ll be mad at her if she doesn’t charge but she wishes she didn’t have to because you’re different than all the other guys and she’ll give you her personal phone number to txt her and if only one day she can meet some nice rich guy who can take her away from this life etc. etc.

      And now that guy is one of those dudes she’s txting at the club.

      Same thing if you’re a player type and fall for it, she’s still smokin hot and all your buddies will be askin you if you nailed her and bla bla and she’s already in your room and gorgeous and you’re in Vegas and dropped $200 on the blackjack table downstairs earlier anyway so you’re already in an enviro where you’re throwing money around and you don’t want your buddies to think you’re some fag who couldn’t get laid, so drop a few bills and tell your buddies the same story she fed you so they don’t think she was a hooker (or hell, say she was a hooker but worth it ’cause she was so hot), etc.

      The only guys who would really legit kick her out would be super shy betas who would be too freaked out by doing something illegal or the sinfulness of it all, and I’m sure they learn to screen for those guys quickly. The other guys who would throw them out are legit alphas who get laid a lot and wouldn’t pay for sex and would just be like “lol get the fuck out, hooker” like a dick, and those guys would probably be guys they’d fuck for fun and not bring up being a hooker at all lol

      Like I say, Vegas hookers are pro at this shit.


    • YaReally
      on December 12, 2013 at 9:30 pm
      Original Link

      “I’m not here looking for love”

      Shit, that whole scarred fallopian tube thing got me hard…NOW what?

      Guess it’s off to King A’s mom’s website for some release.



The Sociosexual Dynamics Of Group Photos

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mitch Cumstein
on December 11, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Original Link

Don’t just look at their faces. Many of them will do the tea pot pose, hand placed on hip. Coupled with bended knee, because standing straight will make their legs look fat.

Even funnier is watching all the girls hover to the phone that took the picture. “We all good? We all good? Reshoots, anybody?” Heaven forbid you’re caught looking like you really do in your everyday environment!


  • immoralgables
    on December 11, 2013 at 6:15 pm
    Original Link
    • Zombie Shane
      on December 11, 2013 at 7:52 pm
      Original Link

      You know, if you look at pretty much each of the girls in that photo, then you’ll quickly realize that they’re all remarkably average-looking.

      The only thing which really catches your eye is the fact that they are 1/2 to 3/4 nekkid.

      Good God, can you imagine being the son of one of those chicks, and stumbling upon that picture, about twenty or thirty years from now, and realizing what a filthy fucking whore your mother was when she was younger?

      Ugh.

      Serious Oedipal problems right there.

      DNFW.


      • YaReally
        on December 11, 2013 at 9:42 pm
        Original Link

        Good thing they didn’t invent being slutty or sex that isn’t proper respectable missionary sex until the 90s so your mom was never a slut, whew!! Not like these slutty bar whores these days!



The Sociosexual Dynamics Of Group Photos

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mitch Cumstein
on December 11, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Original Link

Don’t just look at their faces. Many of them will do the tea pot pose, hand placed on hip. Coupled with bended knee, because standing straight will make their legs look fat.

Even funnier is watching all the girls hover to the phone that took the picture. “We all good? We all good? Reshoots, anybody?” Heaven forbid you’re caught looking like you really do in your everyday environment!


  • immoralgables
    on December 11, 2013 at 6:15 pm
    Original Link

    I’m a little teapot, short and stout…


    • YaReally
      on December 11, 2013 at 9:42 pm
      Original Link

      Good thing they didn’t invent being slutty or sex that isn’t proper respectable missionary sex until the 90s so your mom was never a slut, whew!! Not like these slutty bar whores these days!


    • YaReally
      on December 12, 2013 at 9:31 am
      Original Link



Dark Personalities Get The Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Wrecked 'Em
on December 10, 2013 at 12:35 pm
Original Link

During a Roman Triumph it was traditional for a slave to ride with the victor and whisper to him reminders of how fleeting is glory and how short is life. In Latin this was called “memento mori”.

I propose that we resurrect the memento mori for the hot young ladies in our society. A coming-out parade, of sorts, where the ladies will ride in cars accompanied by an old woman who will whisper to them things like, “By 40 you will be invisible to men” and “You’ll be over 40 for more than half your life” and “At 55 the only things that will bring you joy are your children and grandchildren; not your career, not your travels, nor your accomplishments.”


  • Matthew King
    on December 10, 2013 at 1:59 pm
    Original Link

    The cultural cuntundrum at its essence.

    We indulge fantasies of immortality rather than the more proper perspective of sub specie aeternitatis. This is very natural to human nature, especially in youth. Which is why entire institutions have developed around supporting a practical approach to this drop of the abyss in our soul.

    The Rite of Christian Worship is the ultimate memento mori, practiced an hour weekly, which suffices for those who understand what is going on at mass.

    Why, you don’t even need to be a conquering Princeps with slaves whispering unsweet nothings in your ear. All you have to do is find a quiet place and you will find that a “still, small voice” (1 Kings 19:12) has been reminding you all along.

    “Remember, man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.”

    Matt


    • SredniVashtar
      on December 10, 2013 at 4:33 pm
      Original Link

      Matt,

      It’s true. My grandmothers and mother were fervent old-school Catholics. Tough as nails but worshipped their husbands and families. Hated feminism and despised promiscuous females.

      Trouble with humanity’s getting rid of God is the tendency to replace him with us on the throne. And as the heirs of Travis the face-eating chimp, we’re not optimal.

      And all you atheists, just ask yourselves this – if God doesn’t exist why do you give a shit about others believing in Him? All the “magic carpenter” jibes smack of insecurity.


      • Matthew King
        on December 11, 2013 at 4:29 am
        Original Link

        Trouble with humanity’s getting rid of God is the tendency to replace him with us on the throne.

        If only.

        We elevate the subhuman and inanimate to idol status, like sports, politics, pop-star vapidities, and here especially, masturbating into latex gripped by the dryboxes of disaffected wigger club whores on permanent vacation from daddy. Kakocratic paganism.

        Idolizing man would be a step up. Hell, so would a golden calf. A civic republican religion would be better than our active worship of vanity and trivia.


        • Canadian Friend
          on December 11, 2013 at 11:43 am
          Original Link

          I may not always agree with them, but one “perk” I get from reading your comments Matthew King is that I often learn new words, such as kakocratic ( even though this particular one is not a real word since I found it at Urban dictionary )

          You and CH – although you each have your own very different style – are walking/talking thesaurus! ( or is it thesauruses? )



Dark Personalities Get The Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Wrecked 'Em
on December 10, 2013 at 12:35 pm
Original Link

During a Roman Triumph it was traditional for a slave to ride with the victor and whisper to him reminders of how fleeting is glory and how short is life. In Latin this was called “memento mori”.

I propose that we resurrect the memento mori for the hot young ladies in our society. A coming-out parade, of sorts, where the ladies will ride in cars accompanied by an old woman who will whisper to them things like, “By 40 you will be invisible to men” and “You’ll be over 40 for more than half your life” and “At 55 the only things that will bring you joy are your children and grandchildren; not your career, not your travels, nor your accomplishments.”


  • Matthew King
    on December 10, 2013 at 1:59 pm
    Original Link

    The cultural cuntundrum at its essence.

    We indulge fantasies of immortality rather than the more proper perspective of sub specie aeternitatis. This is very natural to human nature, especially in youth. Which is why entire institutions have developed around supporting a practical approach to this drop of the abyss in our soul.

    The Rite of Christian Worship is the ultimate memento mori, practiced an hour weekly, which suffices for those who understand what is going on at mass.

    Why, you don’t even need to be a conquering Princeps with slaves whispering unsweet nothings in your ear. All you have to do is find a quiet place and you will find that a “still, small voice” (1 Kings 19:12) has been reminding you all along.

    “Remember, man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.”

    Matt



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

Original Link

via Heartiste

ballsweatsoop
on December 9, 2013 at 11:48 am
Original Link

WRT the girl calling out game tactics. Someone recently pointed out the male side of this is so formulaic that you could auto-generate it. The flip side of that coin is that it would be trivial to write an app that DETECTS GAME TEXTING.


  • Matthew King
    on December 9, 2013 at 12:28 pm
    Original Link

    The point of the formula is to transcend the formula. The point of an if-then flowchart is to internalize the ethos so completely that you never have to consult it.

    Blame the teachers. They emphasize the entry-level magic tricks as untouchable idols when they should emphasize that they are training wheels to be shed as soon as possible. This creates a false mentality: do this and she’ll do that — rather than time-tested improv exercises like “Yes-And” or sales techniques like “Assume The Sale” which help develop the student’s impromptu muscles.

    If any one of that gaggle of by-the-number social engineers, that Big Bang Theory of PUA nerdbots, had an ounce of imagination not supplied to them by Markovic or Strauss, they could have run with that chick to any level they wanted to.

    “You read that book too? Isn’t it great? Let’s try it out and see if it works. This is a neg, does that work? Okay, here comes my kino attempt.”

    Make fun of it. Make fun of yourself. Have her explain the gist of the concepts in her own words. “Can’t it be really weird behavior and effective at the same time?” “I would only ever try those silly games on super hot dimwits. (How was that neg?)” Find the doofiest roided-up PUA site on the planet and tell her that’s where you get all your tips.

    But once the girl deviates from the script, these permanent novices text their buds in a panic, what o what should I do?!?!?

    I regularly conclude that guys like these are trolls — just to keep my optimism intact.

    Matt


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 8:10 pm
      Original Link

      “The point of the formula is to transcend the formula.”

      Agreed. That’s why we break down WHY routines work and encourage guys to create their own.

      “rather than time-tested improv exercises like “Yes-And””

      Oh you mean like:

      http://www.puadrills.com/drills/2011/06/yes-and-improv-game/
      https://www.google.com/search?q=rsdnation+“improv+classes”

      I even found Yes And recommendations from like 2005 (around when The Game came out) lol

      “or sales techniques like “Assume The Sale””

      Oh you mean like “Assume Attraction”, one of the earliest PUA maxims from the David DeAngelo days?

      No please, do tell us more about what PUAs don’t teach. You’re clearly very knowledgable and have done your research since you expect people to take you seriously.

      “I regularly conclude that guys like these are trolls — just to keep my optimism intact.”

      Weird, that’s what I regularly conclude you are…and yet here you are, still typing away lol



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

Original Link

via Heartiste

ballsweatsoop
on December 9, 2013 at 11:48 am
Original Link

WRT the girl calling out game tactics. Someone recently pointed out the male side of this is so formulaic that you could auto-generate it. The flip side of that coin is that it would be trivial to write an app that DETECTS GAME TEXTING.


  • Matthew King
    on December 9, 2013 at 12:28 pm
    Original Link

    The point of the formula is to transcend the formula. The point of an if-then flowchart is to internalize the ethos so completely that you never have to consult it.

    Blame the teachers. They emphasize the entry-level magic tricks as untouchable idols when they should emphasize that they are training wheels to be shed as soon as possible. This creates a false mentality: do this and she’ll do that — rather than time-tested improv exercises like “Yes-And” or sales techniques like “Assume The Sale” which help develop the student’s impromptu muscles.

    If any one of that gaggle of by-the-number social engineers, that Big Bang Theory of PUA nerdbots, had an ounce of imagination not supplied to them by Markovic or Strauss, they could have run with that chick to any level they wanted to.

    “You read that book too? Isn’t it great? Let’s try it out and see if it works. This is a neg, does that work? Okay, here comes my kino attempt.”

    Make fun of it. Make fun of yourself. Have her explain the gist of the concepts in her own words. “Can’t it be really weird behavior and effective at the same time?” “I would only ever try those silly games on super hot dimwits. (How was that neg?)” Find the doofiest roided-up PUA site on the planet and tell her that’s where you get all your tips.

    But once the girl deviates from the script, these permanent novices text their buds in a panic, what o what should I do?!?!?

    I regularly conclude that guys like these are trolls — just to keep my optimism intact.

    Matt


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 8:10 pm
      Original Link

      “The point of the formula is to transcend the formula.”

      Agreed. That’s why we break down WHY routines work and encourage guys to create their own.

      “rather than time-tested improv exercises like “Yes-And””

      Oh you mean like:

      http://www.puadrills.com/drills/2011/06/yes-and-improv-game/

      https://www.google.com/search?q=rsdnation+“improv+classes”

      I even found Yes And recommendations from like 2005 (around when The Game came out) lol

      “or sales techniques like “Assume The Sale””

      Oh you mean like “Assume Attraction”, one of the earliest PUA maxims from the David DeAngelo days?

      No please, do tell us more about what PUAs don’t teach. You’re clearly very knowledgable and have done your research since you expect people to take you seriously.

      “I regularly conclude that guys like these are trolls — just to keep my optimism intact.”

      Weird, that’s what I regularly conclude you are…and yet here you are, still typing away lol



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

Original Link

via Heartiste

immoralgables
on December 9, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Original Link

I am the one who submitted the last section of this post but it legit was for a friend. Plenty of times I’ve submitted my shitty exchanges for the world to bear so no reason to hide behind “the friend” excuse.

As a follow up, nothing materialized further and my buddy was confused as during the PU, the girl was the sweetest, nicest thing ever.

Thanks Heartiste for the write up and analysis, all of it is spot on and none of us had anything close to those kind of responses you mentioned during our initial brainstorming. Us meaning me, my friend and some other buddies I consulted with regarding this situ.

Agree and amplify was the best we came up with but even then, it did feel a bit off. Thanks for clarifying why. This helped me out a lot as well as I’m prone to overgame.

If my friend somehow magically got this girl to come out and meet, I will keep the readership posted but odds are that the lead died a brutal death.

Thanks again.

-IG


  • CH
    on December 9, 2013 at 12:21 pm
    Original Link

    i should also point out that some of your friend’s agree & amplify replies would work better face-to-face rather than through the textual ether. facial expression and vocal tone go a long way to modulating intent.


    • immoralgables
      on December 9, 2013 at 12:28 pm
      Original Link

      Ok makes sense and I will send him an email linking him to this post. Thanks Heartiste.

      In regards to the exchange, it gets hella frustrating when the interaction turns adversarial as it did above and also on my exchange that I posted in your “Comment of the Week: Getting to the Id of it” article.

      Seems like a common trap and curious as to how you would suggest leading an interaction so you and the girl are on the same team. I find that a lot of the “up the alpha” mentality leads one to the path where you and the girl are constantly fighting for who has the stronger frame.

      Is there a general rule of thumb on how to sidestep this or is it better to adhere to “he who has the strongest frame wins?” I’d like to move things away from the adversarial stance if it means getting the lay easier and getting the girl to comply more efficiently.


      • Scray
        on December 9, 2013 at 3:09 pm
        Original Link

        Is there a general rule of thumb on how to sidestep this or is it better to adhere to “he who has the strongest frame wins?”

        The strongest frame wins, but the strongest frame never wins by arguing. Whenever she resists, you need to plow without her knowing you’re plowing. Be like water. She shuts you down when you’re funny but you get on her good side by being a little vulnerable, and when she catches on to that, surprise surprise, who’s pre-selected, and so on and so on until her panties accidentally fell off.

        So if she tries to slow you up or pick you apart or be difficult — never fall into the frame of “you are equal to me and therefore I will engage you like I would engage an equal.” Nah, you aren’t going to argue with her. You’ll just talk about something different, because who gives a shit.

        And do it all with a smile. The sub-communication that turns chix on is ‘ya….I know how to handle you.’ I’d suggest just treating them like children that you absolutely adore.

        I mean, I have so many failed txt exchanges so similar to the one above lol. It was only when I started doing the stuff I’m telling you about that shit became way way easier.


        • YaReally
          on December 9, 2013 at 7:31 pm
          Original Link

          “The strongest frame wins, but the strongest frame never wins by arguing.”

          Well put.


  • YaReally
    on December 9, 2013 at 7:51 pm
    Original Link

    Agree & Amplify was the way to go. Or at least acknowledging she’s called you out accurately VS playing dumb. If she was nice during the initial sarge then probably she told a friend who’s been burned by a PUA about him or googled him or something and pieced together that he’s running game and views game in a negative light (possibly he used a routine that she then found online which destroyed the specialness of how she viewed the “chance” meeting, but even just knowing that he’s running game in general can cause that feeling of having been duped).

    At that point pretending not to know what she’s talking about is like pretending not to have eaten the cookies when the jar is empty beside you and you have cookie crumbs around your lips. It’s insulting to her that you would think she’s too dumb to have caught you, and makes you look ashamed and sneaky because you’re still trying to hide.

    So acknowledge she’s correct, but just make it fun and playful and treat it like it’s no big deal. Strongest frame wins and she might have too much of a hate-on for game for personal reasons to turn things around, but it’s the highest % play.

    Something like “lol no, negs are for super bitchy girls and you were all smiles when we met.” or “no fuzzy hats, don’t worry lol” or “I was going to go with getting drunk and barfing on your shoe, but what you suggested sounds way better.” etc

    The idea is that you’re acknowledging that yes, of course you’re running game, that’s why you had the balls to approach her in the first place, but that 1) you don’t take it or yourself seriously, and 2) it’s not a big deal like she probably thinks it is. Her txt sounds like she views it as manipulative and her finding out ruined her feeling of being “special” because clearly he just runs the same shit on every girl playing the numbers game and doesn’t really like her for HER.

    Something like “lol no fuzzy hats. But I will definitely push you to meet up for dinner, I don’t run into many girls who (something personal about her)”. Like, make her feel special again like oh ya I used game to say hi but then you turned out to be different from other girls.

    Your buddy’s calibration is shit and his txts sound like generic cut n pastes instead of like he’s building any kind of rapport/comfort with the chick, or qualifying her at all. It SOUNDS like he’s just playing a generic numbers game.

    Pickup instructors get called out all the time but girls will still fuck them, because they don’t get fazed and just play it off like it’s not a big deal and make the girl still feel like she’s different from those other girls etc. Hell if your game is right and your frame is solid and you handle the rest of the shit (making her feel special) proper, often she’ll find it hot.

    Tell your buddy to use this as a wake-up call to personalize his interactions more. Less generic numbers game routines and more “getting to know her” stuff…find out her hopes and dreams, let her know you want to meet up because she’s said or done something that you appreciate/like, instead of “wink at mehhhhhh” lol


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 7:54 pm
      Original Link

      Oh, also, don’t try it with this girl. This one is toast lol he handled it too shitty and won’t be able to turn it around esp via txt except thru a fucking miracle. I just wrote the above for learning purposes for the future and for other guys who run into this.

      On that note, your game should evolve into something so natural looking and your routines based around your own personality etc that girls can’t tell you’re running game. They just think you’re a natural who’s good with women and that they lucked out meeting you.



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

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immoralgables
on December 9, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Original Link

I am the one who submitted the last section of this post but it legit was for a friend. Plenty of times I’ve submitted my shitty exchanges for the world to bear so no reason to hide behind “the friend” excuse.

As a follow up, nothing materialized further and my buddy was confused as during the PU, the girl was the sweetest, nicest thing ever.

Thanks Heartiste for the write up and analysis, all of it is spot on and none of us had anything close to those kind of responses you mentioned during our initial brainstorming. Us meaning me, my friend and some other buddies I consulted with regarding this situ.

Agree and amplify was the best we came up with but even then, it did feel a bit off. Thanks for clarifying why. This helped me out a lot as well as I’m prone to overgame.

If my friend somehow magically got this girl to come out and meet, I will keep the readership posted but odds are that the lead died a brutal death.

Thanks again.

-IG


  • CH
    on December 9, 2013 at 12:21 pm
    Original Link

    i should also point out that some of your friend’s agree & amplify replies would work better face-to-face rather than through the textual ether. facial expression and vocal tone go a long way to modulating intent.


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 7:31 pm
      Original Link

      “The strongest frame wins, but the strongest frame never wins by arguing.”

      Well put.


  • YaReally
    on December 9, 2013 at 7:51 pm
    Original Link

    Agree & Amplify was the way to go. Or at least acknowledging she’s called you out accurately VS playing dumb. If she was nice during the initial sarge then probably she told a friend who’s been burned by a PUA about him or googled him or something and pieced together that he’s running game and views game in a negative light (possibly he used a routine that she then found online which destroyed the specialness of how she viewed the “chance” meeting, but even just knowing that he’s running game in general can cause that feeling of having been duped).

    At that point pretending not to know what she’s talking about is like pretending not to have eaten the cookies when the jar is empty beside you and you have cookie crumbs around your lips. It’s insulting to her that you would think she’s too dumb to have caught you, and makes you look ashamed and sneaky because you’re still trying to hide.

    So acknowledge she’s correct, but just make it fun and playful and treat it like it’s no big deal. Strongest frame wins and she might have too much of a hate-on for game for personal reasons to turn things around, but it’s the highest % play.

    Something like “lol no, negs are for super bitchy girls and you were all smiles when we met.” or “no fuzzy hats, don’t worry lol” or “I was going to go with getting drunk and barfing on your shoe, but what you suggested sounds way better.” etc

    The idea is that you’re acknowledging that yes, of course you’re running game, that’s why you had the balls to approach her in the first place, but that 1) you don’t take it or yourself seriously, and 2) it’s not a big deal like she probably thinks it is. Her txt sounds like she views it as manipulative and her finding out ruined her feeling of being “special” because clearly he just runs the same shit on every girl playing the numbers game and doesn’t really like her for HER.

    Something like “lol no fuzzy hats. But I will definitely push you to meet up for dinner, I don’t run into many girls who (something personal about her)”. Like, make her feel special again like oh ya I used game to say hi but then you turned out to be different from other girls.

    Your buddy’s calibration is shit and his txts sound like generic cut n pastes instead of like he’s building any kind of rapport/comfort with the chick, or qualifying her at all. It SOUNDS like he’s just playing a generic numbers game.

    Pickup instructors get called out all the time but girls will still fuck them, because they don’t get fazed and just play it off like it’s not a big deal and make the girl still feel like she’s different from those other girls etc. Hell if your game is right and your frame is solid and you handle the rest of the shit (making her feel special) proper, often she’ll find it hot.

    Tell your buddy to use this as a wake-up call to personalize his interactions more. Less generic numbers game routines and more “getting to know her” stuff…find out her hopes and dreams, let her know you want to meet up because she’s said or done something that you appreciate/like, instead of “wink at mehhhhhh” lol


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 7:54 pm
      Original Link

      Oh, also, don’t try it with this girl. This one is toast lol he handled it too shitty and won’t be able to turn it around esp via txt except thru a fucking miracle. I just wrote the above for learning purposes for the future and for other guys who run into this.

      On that note, your game should evolve into something so natural looking and your routines based around your own personality etc that girls can’t tell you’re running game. They just think you’re a natural who’s good with women and that they lucked out meeting you.



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

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cynthia
on December 9, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Original Link

Friendzoning guys… I’m sure every woman’s done it. I’ve done it. From my experience, it boils down to one factor; can I, as the woman, extract what I want without giving the guy what he wants? IE, emotional support without sex offered in exchange. Or, in the abstract, who sets the rules of engagement for the relationship?

In my case, I was clear with the guy that nothing was going to happen. He said he understood, that he was fine with it. I was fine with that. He let me set the terms, so I set them where I was comfortable; no sex. We went for years like that. When he finally pushed for it, I cut it off.

Not because I wouldn’t have been perfectly willing to go out with him when we first met – I did like the guy – but after three years, it made me hideously uncomfortable. I told him how I felt about it, that I didn’t think we could continue to be friends after that, and he sent me back a long note insisting that he “wasn’t one of those guys.”

It wasn’t malicious. I don’t think it is, for a lot of girls. For a girl, having a male friend who doesn’t try to fuck her is like crack. Once you put yourself in that position as a man, you are never getting out of it. It’s very uncomfortable; in that moment of trying to turn the friendship into a sexual relationship, what you’re telling the woman is that the only reason you talked to her was because you wanted to fuck her. That’s, well, probably about as demeaning to a girl as it is to a man hearing that she only liked him for the emotional support.

On the flip side, I’ve been in a similar situation where I was working closely with a guy, we became friends, he was there if I needed to come by and talk. By the end of it, I was basically telling this guy I’d do anything for him. The difference there was that he never tried to hide his attraction for me, never behaved as if he was sexless eunuch in our interactions, escalated the flirting, etc, but held himself in check. He was still in charge; emotional support was given, not taken, if that makes any sense. So I think it’s possible to be in a situation like this, for a man, and not get friendzoned, even if you’re serving those same functions.


  • PA
    on December 9, 2013 at 6:19 pm
    Original Link

    All men talk to girls solely because they want to fuck them, or they at least have a sublimated desire to fuck them.

    Ive never once in my entire life talked to a girl I’m not related to if I didn’t at some level want to fuck her.

    What Cynthia, you thought you’re interesting?


    • Matthew King
      on December 9, 2013 at 6:37 pm
      Original Link

      So what you’re saying is … you want to fuck Cynthia “at some level.” (Or online doesn’t count?)

      Talk to all of them. You might be surprised at what a little costless generosity gets you in return from girls who struggled all their life for a drop of attention — and that struggle is often more psychological than physical. She might even flip her 6 upside down into a 9 for the promise of one drop more.

      Also: feelsgoodman.


      • YaReally
        on December 9, 2013 at 8:30 pm
        Original Link

        “So what you’re saying is … you want to fuck Cynthia “at some level.” (Or online doesn’t count?)”

        ah shit, is he treading on your territory? You have eDibs on the girls here, right? Don’t worry, they only have eyes for you. lol Is that why you hit on the girls here, you figure down the road when you psychologically wear them down, they’ll turn themselves into 9s for you when they finally view you as their replacement father and chase your validation? lol Has it worked yet? Got some nekkid pics of FeministX on your hard-drive? lol

        “Talk to all of them.”

        This part I agree with. You should be able to have as much fun with a 4 as you do with a 9. You don’t have to fuck her, but you shouldn’t view it as a waste of your time ’cause that starts getting into building bad value-taking/seeking mentalities:



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

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cynthia
on December 9, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Original Link

Friendzoning guys… I’m sure every woman’s done it. I’ve done it. From my experience, it boils down to one factor; can I, as the woman, extract what I want without giving the guy what he wants? IE, emotional support without sex offered in exchange. Or, in the abstract, who sets the rules of engagement for the relationship?

In my case, I was clear with the guy that nothing was going to happen. He said he understood, that he was fine with it. I was fine with that. He let me set the terms, so I set them where I was comfortable; no sex. We went for years like that. When he finally pushed for it, I cut it off.

Not because I wouldn’t have been perfectly willing to go out with him when we first met – I did like the guy – but after three years, it made me hideously uncomfortable. I told him how I felt about it, that I didn’t think we could continue to be friends after that, and he sent me back a long note insisting that he “wasn’t one of those guys.”

It wasn’t malicious. I don’t think it is, for a lot of girls. For a girl, having a male friend who doesn’t try to fuck her is like crack. Once you put yourself in that position as a man, you are never getting out of it. It’s very uncomfortable; in that moment of trying to turn the friendship into a sexual relationship, what you’re telling the woman is that the only reason you talked to her was because you wanted to fuck her. That’s, well, probably about as demeaning to a girl as it is to a man hearing that she only liked him for the emotional support.

On the flip side, I’ve been in a similar situation where I was working closely with a guy, we became friends, he was there if I needed to come by and talk. By the end of it, I was basically telling this guy I’d do anything for him. The difference there was that he never tried to hide his attraction for me, never behaved as if he was sexless eunuch in our interactions, escalated the flirting, etc, but held himself in check. He was still in charge; emotional support was given, not taken, if that makes any sense. So I think it’s possible to be in a situation like this, for a man, and not get friendzoned, even if you’re serving those same functions.


  • PA
    on December 9, 2013 at 6:19 pm
    Original Link

    All men talk to girls solely because they want to fuck them, or they at least have a sublimated desire to fuck them.

    Ive never once in my entire life talked to a girl I’m not related to if I didn’t at some level want to fuck her.

    What Cynthia, you thought you’re interesting?


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 8:30 pm
      Original Link

      “So what you’re saying is … you want to fuck Cynthia “at some level.” (Or online doesn’t count?)”

      ah shit, is he treading on your territory? You have eDibs on the girls here, right? Don’t worry, they only have eyes for you. lol Is that why you hit on the girls here, you figure down the road when you psychologically wear them down, they’ll turn themselves into 9s for you when they finally view you as their replacement father and chase your validation? lol Has it worked yet? Got some nekkid pics of FeministX on your hard-drive? lol

      “Talk to all of them.”

      This part I agree with. You should be able to have as much fun with a 4 as you do with a 9. You don’t have to fuck her, but you shouldn’t view it as a waste of your time ’cause that starts getting into building bad value-taking/seeking mentalities:



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

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YaReally
on December 9, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Original Link

“Option A) ”Wow I see you read the game. I think I’m supposed to keep plowing and tell you to shut up and meet me at 7!” (That was my choice, read it from a YaReally comment that was similar awhile back)”

For the record, this isn’t something I would txt or recommend txting, especially the “shut up” part lol


  • immoralgables
    on December 9, 2013 at 7:29 pm
    Original Link

    To clarify, I remember reading a comment you made a while back regarding girls calling out game via online dating. You used an agree and amplify way to respond which I borrowed and used there (to little effect).


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 8:20 pm
      Original Link

      ya, it’s more the actual execution that was brutally awful lol I just don’t want people to think I’d recommend those words in that arrangement ever, ’cause that was just a terrible bastardization lol



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

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YaReally
on December 9, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Original Link

“Option A) ”Wow I see you read the game. I think I’m supposed to keep plowing and tell you to shut up and meet me at 7!” (That was my choice, read it from a YaReally comment that was similar awhile back)”

For the record, this isn’t something I would txt or recommend txting, especially the “shut up” part lol


  • immoralgables
    on December 9, 2013 at 7:29 pm
    Original Link

    To clarify, I remember reading a comment you made a while back regarding girls calling out game via online dating. You used an agree and amplify way to respond which I borrowed and used there (to little effect).


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 8:20 pm
      Original Link

      ya, it’s more the actual execution that was brutally awful lol I just don’t want people to think I’d recommend those words in that arrangement ever, ’cause that was just a terrible bastardization lol



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

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YaReally
on December 9, 2013 at 8:19 pm
Original Link

Just plugging this here ’cause of all the guys in the world who would be interested in helping this happen, the Manosphere and PUAs are top of the fucking list lol:

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1sg0ag/a_call_to_arms_in_regards_to_vasalgel_male/

http://www.parsemusfoundation.org/vasalgel-home/

They’ve already passed a bunch of animal testing and now they’re just trying to raise enough $ for baboon testing and after that it’s onto legit human clinical trials and onto store shelves.

Donate if you can, if not for your own sake a few years from now, then for the sake of your sons/nephews/etc. having some kind of control over whether the random bar chick they bang in college can lock them into 18 years of child support against their will.



Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on December 9, 2013 at 8:19 pm
Original Link

Just plugging this here ’cause of all the guys in the world who would be interested in helping this happen, the Manosphere and PUAs are top of the fucking list lol:

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1sg0ag/a_call_to_arms_in_regards_to_vasalgel_male/

http://www.parsemusfoundation.org/vasalgel-home/

They’ve already passed a bunch of animal testing and now they’re just trying to raise enough $ for baboon testing and after that it’s onto legit human clinical trials and onto store shelves.

Donate if you can, if not for your own sake a few years from now, then for the sake of your sons/nephews/etc. having some kind of control over whether the random bar chick they bang in college can lock them into 18 years of child support against their will.



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

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immoralgables
on December 7, 2013 at 3:07 pm
Original Link

Readership:

I’d like to share my trial and travails so far with this HB7 Asian i picked up off of daygame the other day. All feedback is welcome and I’m sharing so hopefully some of you can apply and avoid some of the things I have done.

Disclaimer: Texting is a major deficiency of mine.

Me: Hey weirdo. Good meeting ya today, talk soon. -ImmoralG

Her: Alright :)

(Next day) Me: Question for you

Her: Hmmm?

Me: Are you at least 21 or do I have to rob an old lady of her ID so I can get you into bars

Her: Loll I’m not 21 yet :( but….I dont drink haha

Me: Whys that. Not judging

Her: Health issues : / haha

Me: You don’t eat meat, drink, or like dogs. Planning out a date isn’t easy with you is it ;-p

Her: Lolll it must not be if u say so haha

Me: Ok I want to know. What’s your top two vices. Because if you don’t drink or eat meat then it has to be something else.
Me: It’s probably guys in blue sweaters and a large Pokemon card collection

***OPs Note: I was wearing blue sweater during the pick-up***

Her: What do u mean lol I don’t understand ur question

Me: What are your two bad habits or guilty pleasures, silly

Her: Uhh that would depend on what ur definition of “bad habits” are

Me: Something u really enjoy but would make your conservative parents disown you if they found out

Her: Hahaha uhhh thats uncomfortable…what if ur a cop lol

Me: If I was a copy i would have handcuffed you with my red fuzzy pair already for being so adorable. Now answer my question

Her: Haha why do I have to answer this???

Me: *Sigh* ur no fun

Her: Lol k i think u kjow nore about me than I know about u

Me: …

**Ops Note: This is “Ellipsis Game” which I owe Walawala and Heartiste for putting me on**

Her: What
(2-3 hours later) Her: Loll is there somwthing u want to hear??

***Op’s Note: At this point, I was tired of thinking of a response and headed to the gym. I did not respond back that same day***

(Next day, ~12+ hours later)
Me: The only thing I want to hear is “Yessir” when I say hookah Thursday 7pm at XYZ

Her: Ok hookah sounds good wheres XYZ

Me: X ave btwn Yst and Zst

Her: Cool
Her: Do you live around here?

Me: I live in XYZ but will be seeing a friend in XYZ (near hookah spot) on Thursday Why what’s up

Her: Oh I see, no its all good. ill see you on thursday :)

(Later that same evening)
Her: Burn sesh tnght???

***Ops Note: I thought this may have been a trap and should have DHV’ed and said I already had plans. But, that part of me thought that the girl was inviting me to blaze aka FUCK. It sounded too good to be true and it was.***

Me: Hm where at. I just got back to my place and am soaking wet and cold

Her: Ok shooot I msged wrong man : / but u didn’t have umbrella?

Me: Oh my god I can’t believe ur cheating on me. I’m filing divorce papers and getting custory of the dog.

Her: Lol keep the dog! Sorry I usually only use the text with one person and I forgot haha and u replied so naturally.. didn’t realize I msged the wrong person.

THE END

**A few notes: Very cute girl and not fresh-off-the boat (FOB). She admits to not being able to develop emotional connections with guys she sees and in the PU I called it out as her not being attracted to the guys. She probably bosses them around and loses attraction when they do what she says. This was assessing her “Blueprint” and from there I riffed how I was going to boss her around, ignore her texts, etc and her eyes lit up.
She verbalized that she doesn’t like being told what to do and I called her out that despite that, she is still attracted to it. Understanding “her world” is one of the things that helped me get the number-close and set up less-than-solid plans for the meetup**

I of course fucked up but a couple things I learned that were helpful:

1) Elipsis game (the “…”) Use it when you don’t know how to reply or when you want to admonish a girl for doing something you don’t like. (Credit to walawala)

2) At first I thought her comment of “Lol k i think u know more about me than I know about u” was her way of saying that she wants more comfort/rapport. Seems so on the surface but I saw it as her failing a compliance test and her shit-testing me.

3) Taking 12 hours/a day to respond and coming back over the top with the dominant “The only thing I want to hear is “Yessir” when I say hookah Thursday 7pm at XYZ” was my way of incorporating the fact that she likes to be dominated. I hemmed and hawed on this and thought I might lose the account but it actually worked.

4) I fucked up by taking her beta bait on the “Burn sesh” and no doubt she meant that for one of her beta orbiters (or fuckbuddies, hey) that smokes her out. Yeah lesson learned. I tried to recover as best as I could by acting like I didn’t really care but I also wanted to make her emotionally react to me.

I will keep the readership updated as to how this goes.

-IG


  • Cad and Bounder
    on December 8, 2013 at 1:20 pm
    Original Link

    Next time, try this

    Good to meet you today
    Her: Alright :-)

    Two days later

    Hi Whatsup? Drinks at X, 9pm Thursday
    Her: Well I don’t drink haha
    ok change of plan. Hookah at Y. 9pm.
    Her: ok see u there

    There is really no need to try and add value, demonstrate dominance or sexually escalate before a date. All you are doing is running the risk of triggering ASD or giving her something to discuss (the content of your messages) with her friends so they can turn her off you.

    Just get the date and fuck her. Girls aren’t stupid. They know we want to fuck them.


    • immoralgables
      on December 8, 2013 at 1:32 pm
      Original Link

      Thanks a lot Cad and Bounder. Your suggestion really cuts out the fat and gets to the meat and bone of the interaction. I recognize that I spent unnecessary time texting here and thanks for reminding me to be a bit more succint:

      Here is an update on the situ:

      (Today)

      Her: Hey

      Me: Hi

      Her: You are gona get angry if I say lets meet next week when im done finals… : / but yeah.. I got tok many big things coming up :((
      Her: I promise it ain’t an excuse : ///

      Me: U owe it to yourself to spend time with a cool guy before the week gets busy. Stop being so difficult and see ya at 8.

      Her: I would be pushing itttt :(
      Her: I’m not the type who tries to be difficult to guys btw :p

      Me: No biggie, I’ll wait to see how u make it up to me before I pass judgment ;-p

      Her: Haha ill get back to u when I’m done :)

      **So yeah, I doubt she will re-initiatie but it seems like my frame is strong that I won’t lose points popping up mid-week to push for another meet up. Interesting how she qualified herself with the “I’m not the type who tries to be difficult to guys btw :p” and the fact the she let out a detailed excuse to flake is noteworthy.

      Actions speak louder than words for sure and ultimately, she did flake. I could have been a bit more persistant/dominat but I read her “I would be pushing itttt :(” as her politely/hesitantly rebuffing.**

      Thanks again Cad and Bounder, much appreciated.


      • YaReally
        on December 8, 2013 at 11:47 pm
        Original Link

        @immoralgables

        “Me: No biggie, I’ll wait to see how u make it up to me before I pass judgment ;-p”

        Solid! Well done. I’ll probably steal this one.

        “I doubt she will re-initiatie”

        She will. You don’t have to re-initiate, let her. She already feels bad about flaking and is into you and is worried about fucking up with you, so a few days of silence will make her wonder if you’re pissed. The ioi’s I’m looking at for this are:

        1) She flaked ahead of time VS at the last minute or flaking without warning at all and being like “o sorry I fell asleep lol” the next day.

        2) She qualifies herself by declaring herself as not the difficult type, so now she has to live up to that label which means she probably won’t play as hard to get as a girl who hasn’t given herself that label. It’s like when you say “you girls seem friendly”, they tend to be more friendly because you’ve given them a label so they’ll feel worse if they act bitchy lol

        3) She’s not flaking completely, she’s rescheduling. There’s a subtle difference…a girl who’s full-out not-giving-a-fuck flaking will just say “I can’t make it friday” but not offer an alternative. But a girl who’s super super into you will be like “I’m sooo sorry I can’t make it friday, but is Monday okay instead?? I’ll cook you something nice to make up for it and wear lingerie and blow you all night!!” (lol, exaggerating of course). This girl is in-between the two…she’s offering up that when her finals shit is done, you guys will hang out.

        So that stuff tells me that a few days of silence will make her worry “I hope he isn’t mad at me…” and probably txt you. Don’t push for a meet-up till she’s done her shit, but do keep in touch and build comfort/rapport with her via txt if she txts you. Just shoot the shit and do some light flirting, nothing too serious until her schedule is more free in a couple weeks.

        “I won’t lose points popping up mid-week to push for another meet up.”

        Don’t. She’s busy right now, she’s probably studying and stressing school shit and everything and wants to hang but just doesn’t have time. For a chick to hang out she doesn’t just roll out of bed mid-studying stressed and unpleasant and head downstairs with bed-hair to meet you, she has to get her hair done and be in a good mood and all that shit, esp if she wants to impress the guy.

        She’s basically just not in a position where she can meet up right now, so she’ll have to flake on you a second time and it’ll just make her feel bad/guilty and too much of that can make her just stop communicating entirely (no one wants to answer the phone when their boss calls when they’re skipping work pretending to be sick to play xbox lol).

        Show that you “understand her world” and ease up on the pressure for a couple weeks while she finishes finals. She’s into you, so you’ll be fine.

        “Actions speak louder than words for sure and ultimately, she did flake.”

        This one is okay. This is a legitimate flake. :) Ya, you could argue that if you were high-enough value like Brad Pitt she would ignore studying/exams for you, and that’s true, but like, you’re not that high-value to her yet and her exams are super high-priority to her during the weeks leading up to finals, so fuck it, just play it chill and push again at a more opportune time in a couple weeks.

        “I could have been a bit more persistant/dominat but I read her “I would be pushing itttt :(” as her politely/hesitantly rebuffing.**”

        No you read that right. I was actually worried you were going to keep pushing, but you pulled back at the perfect time…a liiiiittle more stress to make sure she’s not just being silly, and then backing off and challenging her to make it up to you. This was played very solid and I cheered in my head when I read that line lol Very well calibrated.

        If you had kept pushing, 1) it would’ve shown a lack of calibration, 2) it would’ve shown a lack of understanding/care about her world/reality (in a bad stressful way), and 3) you still wouldn’t have gotten her to blow off studying for her exams etc. for you so you still wouldn’t be getting your dick sucked lol


        • immoralgables
          on December 9, 2013 at 12:06 am
          Original Link

          Your insight on letting her reach out to me is potent. I thought I was losing my mind debating whether it was a legit flake or not.

          YaReally, I know I’ve said this over a dozen times to you over the past year lol but thank you.


          • YaReally
            on December 9, 2013 at 1:08 am
            Original Link

            No prob. If it’s any consolation, the reason I can say “this seems like a legit flake, not a bullshit one” is because I’ve had a fuckton of the bullshit ones lol

            Also if she DOES reach out to you at all this week, that’s an ioi. Other guys would reach out to her first, worried they lost her. You told her to make her flaking up to you so now you can just chill and see what she does.

            Worst-case she doesn’t txt you at all, and you go 2 weeks without hearing from her, then shoot her a teasing txt and get her laughing and push for the meet-up like nothing happened (aka you were too busy having fun with other girls to really care that you haven’t heard from her). Like, that’s no big deal lol. She’s not going to get railed by some dude as soon as she puts her pencil down after her last test. And she doesn’t drink so she’s not likely to go hookup with dudes during the “finals are done” parties…hell, she might even invite you to one (the one with the most orbiters for you to fight off, of course lol).


  • walawala
    on December 8, 2013 at 5:21 pm
    Original Link

    @Immoral You have to be overall a bit more dominant and playful at the beginning especially with Asian girls who immediately think foreigners (even if she’s living in the US) are more manly and dominant.

    I’ll give you one example of how I used text game very recently to instill/inspire the hamster.

    3 weeks ago I fucked up and broke no contact with my ex gf when she called and we began talking. I fucked this all up but basically was overt and said “OK I want to be together.”

    We get into a pattern of texting over the next day which is normal.

    Then I text about meeting up. She says “Can’t promise”….I go silent.

    A day and a half passes and she sends a trial text which I ignore.

    Finally at 2am she texts me:

    Her: “You disappear again…” Note that this is a trial text and a shit test which I would normally ignore, but game is never perfect and always a series of trial and errors….To ignore this girl would to me seem butt-hurt…so I punt.

    Me: I open up…but all I see is the black swan

    The black swan is a reference to her favorite movie about the crazy girl.

    Her; I was so busy I couldn’t meet up blah blah blah

    Me: Silence…and ignore for what is the second NEXT…it’s been 3 weeks.

    I fucked up the No Contact.

    But in this case the situation demanded some type of response to reframe the idea that as a man i’m serious and I expect a certain type of behavior.

    However, reaming the girl out again is a major turn off….

    She was expecting another confrontation, instead she got that one line: vulnerability, then dominance.

    Hope this helps explain the paradox and idea of what I have found that works with Asian girls and game.

    There needs to be some type of vulnerability or willingness to open up but also a clear boundary.

    If they act like cunts, you can then have license and excuse and rationale to walk away…and when need be pin it on their behavior.

    Asian girls are very pragmatic and logical but extremely emotional.


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 12:03 am
      Original Link

      “You have to be overall a bit more dominant and playful at the beginning especially with Asian girls who immediately think foreigners (even if she’s living in the US) are more manly and dominant.”

      This comes down more to how white-washed/FOBy she is. If she’s a super-FOB (or you live in Hong Kong lol) then ya I agree for sure, but asian chicks born and raised here, especially in larger cities, are mentally the same as white chicks. I’m currently in a city with a lot of white-washed asian chicks (aka bananas, twinkies, etc. lol) and they respond to the same game white chicks do because they didn’t grow up with the “foreigners are dominant” mentalities FOBs did.

      Your (walawala) dominant laconic style of game probably works really well on the FOBy girls, but the white-washed ones are more likely to go all “lol this guy’s butt-hurt, whatevs” to that txting (unless you’ve established super high-value, like already having fucked her lol).


      • walawala
        on December 9, 2013 at 12:23 am
        Original Link

        @YaReally

        I have a question for you. Since our last set of postings on this, I’ve stuck to No Contact in my situation.

        Last week, ex gf shows up at party dressed SMOKING HOT.

        I was puzzled. Not many guys at this, so maybe she felt like dressing up. But more likely it was plausible deniability to get me to approach or dance with her or whatever.

        I did NOT approach, in fact I had a cold so left early.

        This past week, I also blanked her.

        Any thoughts?


        • YaReally
          on December 9, 2013 at 1:02 am
          Original Link

          “Last week, ex gf shows up at party dressed SMOKING HOT.”

          Rolodex lol This is the “dress hot to make him see what he’s missing out on and chase me again” card in her rolodex.

          “I was puzzled.”

          Don’t be, she’s just doing the same thing as before…poking you with various sticks until she finds one that makes you react. I’d say she’s using her hotness now because you fucked up and admitted you still want her, so now she knows “alright, so instead of him being at a 0/10 in terms of being attracted to me, where dressing hot wouldn’t work because he doesn’t want me at all, he’s at a 4/10…so dressing hot will probably put him into an 8/10 and he’ll chase me!”

          Like you see how in a way, YOUR actions/reactions cause her to adapt her tactics. If you had been radio silent this whole time and she thought you legitimately didn’t want her anymore and had moved on, she would probably try a different rolodex card…in a way this is like as a boxer she landed a solid Left on you, and so she thinks you’re going to duck into her Right Uppercut…but she probably wouldn’t have thrown that Right Uppercut if the Left hadn’t landed.

          “so maybe she felt like dressing up”

          lol no, this is a calculated tactic on her part.

          See she wants to get back to a relationship too…but she wants to get back to a chaotic mess of a relationship where she can let her drama run free and you’ll put up with it. You want to get back to a relationship, but you want to get back to an orderly drama-free relationship where she doesn’t bring drama and you two can just enjoy eachother’s company.

          You both have the same general goal, but the specifics of it are different…and those different specifics are what will be the difference between a relaxing peaceful solid relationship for you or a stressful drama-every-week grey-hairs-early emotional rollercoaster of a chaotic relationship…

          And if you got her preggers and was locked down to her for the rest of your life, which of those relationships would you like to spend the next 20+ years of your life in? ;)

          “But more likely it was plausible deniability to get me to approach or dance with her or whatever.”

          Yep. 100%.

          “I did NOT approach, in fact I had a cold so left early.

          This past week, I also blanked her.”

          Perfect.

          “Any thoughts?”

          Keep ignoring her. Expect to ignore her for like 6 months minimum, maybe closer to a year. These social events your group has where you’re forced to see her actually lengthen how long you have to ignore her for and how pro-actively you have to ignore her. Without those events, she wouldn’t get a fix of you, but to her every single one of these parties she goes to, she has another chance to get your attention, and she’s just hoping that sooner or later you finally slip up.

          This also makes it harder for you to ignore her because you don’t get to just force her out of your mind/world/reality entirely, since you have to see her every couple weeks. She knows this.

          Basically she’s alcohol, you’re an alcoholic going to AA meetings, except every week or two you have to go hang out in a bar for a few hours lol The alcohol knows that sooner or later you’re going to probably slip-up, so it won’t give up as fast as it would if you never set foot in a bar again.

          So ya, this could be a solid 6 months to a year+, and even then would you WANT her now that you know what kind of person she is, objectively? Like you can train some shitty behaviors out of her, but the more “natural” that stuff like being a drama-bringing narcissist IS to her (ie – how long she’s been doing it, how many other guys have let her get away with it, how supportive her friends/family are of it etc.), the less likely you are to fully rehabilitate her into someone that you can trust will give you 20+ years of stability VS reverting back to it in a couple years when you’re locked down with a kid.

          And shit, imagine the kid that she would produce, and how she would raise it, if her view of reality and how to behave is the stuff you’ve seen?


  • YaReally
    on December 9, 2013 at 12:48 am
    Original Link

    @Scray, @immoralgables

    Solid breakdown, Scray.

    “Better to move that ball to the 5 yard line and have her try to push it back, than leave it on the 40 and try to have her help you push it forward.”

    And this is a good analogy.

    Cons:
    - I wouldn’t have used the ellipses there (having a hammer and viewing everything is a nail analogy and all). To me the ellipses is for when she’s qualifying herself to you (where she worries you don’t like her answer) or doing something retarded (where she worries that you disapprove of what she did) VS throwing it in when she’s just commenting.

    - If she doesn’t play along, drop the thread, don’t harp on it. She wasn’t going along with the vices thing, so I would have switched gears to something else or cold-read what you guess her vices are (and make them a tease).

    - Using “cheating” won’t sink you, but it DOES imply that you come from a relationship frame where you want to “own” her, which is totally fine if you’re looking for a legit girlfriend etc., but if you’re just wanting to keep things in a casual fuckbuddy frame, avoid talking about relationships (even in jest) in traditional ways because she’ll extrapolate from there…a good version of this is in 21 Jump Street where Dave Franco talks about how he doesn’t own his chick’s vag etc. lol it’s that attitude of not believing in traditional relationships that keeps you in the fuckbuddy category in her mind

    - Along those lines, “planning a date” is the same thing. Never ever ever use the D-word. It’s always “hang out” or “chill” or “grab a drink” or “meet up” etc. Never ever ever a “date”. Once you use the word date, you categorize yourself in a “potential provider” label in her mind and set the frame that this is a “date” and with a traditional date come other expectations attached to that event, like the guy trying to impress the girl, the girl playing hard-to-get, the date ending in a kiss at most, etc. etc. Just all terrible things in terms of setting a frame where you can fuck eachother

    Pros:

    “Me: Are you at least 21 or do I have to rob an old lady of her ID so I can get you into bars”

    Solid. Probably got a laugh and it implies that you’re fun and adventurous and teasing with a roleplay etc. VS guys txting “so do you like sushi? There’s this nice sushi place we could go to if you want…?”

    “Me: What are your two bad habits or guilty pleasures, silly”

    Main reason she doesn’t play along here is that you’re asking for too much compliance too early. You don’t have the value to her yet, for her to divulge this much personal shit about her. It doesn’t mean she won’t ever tell you, but that you pushed a little too far. So to liken it to being at the bar, it would be like asking her to come home with you to fuck VS asking her to go get after-the-bar food. She might be up for going home with you, but that’s too much compliance to ask for too soon, so she won’t play along…but she might like you enough to get pizza. Then at pizza you build more attraction and say “let’s go watch a movie”, where you might have enough value for her to comply to that. Then at your place you say “the TVs in my bedroom, don’t worry I’ll be a gentleman we’ll just cuddle lol” and she might comply to that, and then eventually you’re having sex, but you got there by baby-stepping the compliance.

    “Me: If I was a cop i would have handcuffed you with my red fuzzy pair already for being so adorable. Now answer my question”

    This was a solid save to her shit-test. Well done! I would have used something similar but worded slightly different:

    “if I was a cop, you would be in fuzzy handcuffs right now lol (then change the subject entirely and try a different angle)”

    Key diff is leaving off the adorable stuff (too brother/sister sounding) and dropping the “now answer my question” stuff…she’s clearly not complying to it, so just let it go.

    “Her: Lol k i think u kjow nore about me than I know about u”

    I’m with Scray, this was a chance to build some attraction/comfort/rapport. You don’t necessarily need to do it, because it’s okay if she doesn’t know much about you, you don’t have to be an open book…but DROPPING the conversation entirely?? You have her attention, do something with it lol At least build some more rapport with some back-and-forth, roleplaying, teasing, innuendo, comfort, cold-reading, anything lol

    “Me: The only thing I want to hear is “Yessir” when I say hookah Thursday 7pm at XYZ”

    This is solid. Excellent way to turn her question into an opportunity to push for a meet-up. Assumes attraction/success, dominant/leading, stating what’s happening VS asking, etc.

    A pattern I keep seeing is you do something that gets into uncalibrated/fuckup territory, but then you turn it around with a solid fuzzy handcuffs or meet-up push lol If you didn’t keep dropping these solid turn-arounds, you’d've lost her lol

    “Me: I live in XYZ but will be seeing a friend in XYZ (near hookah spot) on Thursday Why what’s up”

    Also good move using “friend” instead of like, “buddy” here, so it’s ambiguous whether it’s a girl or not.

    “Her: Burn sesh tnght???”

    Trap! lol If you had not responded at all, or responded with “already have company sorry” or something, that would’ve passed her shit-test (and possibly made her jealous).

    “But, that part of me thought that the girl was inviting me to blaze aka FUCK.”

    …which is exactly what the test was designed to do. :)

    “Her: Ok shooot I msged wrong man : / but u didn’t have umbrella?”

    I lol’ed at this. Notice that she doesn’t say “wrong person”, she says “wrong MAN”. Because she wants you to get jealous, the same way you used the ambiguous “friend” earlier lol A lot of game comes from reverse engineering the tactics girls use to make us chase them.

    “Me: Oh my god I can’t believe ur cheating on me. I’m filing divorce papers and getting custory of the dog.”

    “She admits to not being able to develop emotional connections with guys she sees and in the PU I called it out as her not being attracted to the guys.”

    Probably an accurate read of her. She’s not incapable of it, she just hasn’t met a guy worth it that triggers the tingles in her in that way because most guys’ game sucks ass.

    “She probably bosses them around and loses attraction when they do what she says.”

    Yep, also probably a good read. That doesn’t mean you have to ignore her and be laconic and only respond once a week and shit, it just means that she’ll test your frame a lot and you have to be a solid oak tree and not let her fuck with it.

    “and from there I riffed how I was going to boss her around, ignore her texts, etc and her eyes lit up.”

    Yep…but then you jumped when she invited you for a burn sesh in the rain lol…you just got in out of the freezing soaking rain and were willing to venture back out into it to meet up with a chick you don’t even know gives good head yet. ;) lol

    “She verbalized that she doesn’t like being told what to do and I called her out that despite that, she is still attracted to it.”

    lol yep. This is all good stuff…even if you didn’t verbalize it to her (tho I’m sure it helped build attraction for her to get called out on all that because not many guys “get it”), the fact that mentally you were aware of this stuff and able to conclude this stuff is solid and gives you a leg up on other guys in terms of dealing with her.

    “2) At first I thought her comment of “Lol k i think u know more about me than I know about u” was her way of saying that she wants more comfort/rapport. Seems so on the surface but I saw it as her failing a compliance test and her shit-testing me.”

    She was expecting you to offer up info about yourself or ask her to ask you questions about yourself, but all of that is being in her frame. Ellipses probably didn’t hurt, but I don’t think it really helped. Something that would’ve helped would’ve been like “You make me sound so mysterious lol” where you’re kind of turning it around on her like she’s being dramatic and then waiting to see if she’ll ask you questions (without prompting her to ask them)…if she doesn’t ask questions, change threads entirely and try another tool (cold-reads, roleplay, teasing, etc.), and if she DOES ask questions like (“tell me something about yourself” or “how old are you?” etc.) either handle them in a fun playful comfort-building way, or just go silent and go to the gym leaving her hanging lol

    Leaving her hanging when she wants an answer is different than leaving her hanging when you’re annoyed with her not playing along…the former will make her more curious, the latter might make her just wonder if you’re butthurt.

    “I hemmed and hawed on this and thought I might lose the account but it actually worked.”

    Now be congruent to that lol You know she responds to you not acting like other guys. In my other breakdown of your next text session with her I say to back off and let her do her finals shit, but that doesn’t mean when her finals are done you wait for her to plan a date and shit…you go back to being aggressive/dominant about meeting up, but just give her a couple weeks to get her “real life” shit dealt with schedule-wise.

    “no doubt she meant that for one of her beta orbiters (or fuckbuddies, hey)”

    Or it was meant for a girlfriend and she just used “man” to shit-test whether you get jealous…or there’s no one at all and she was literally just doing it to see what you’d do lol

    “I tried to recover as best as I could by acting like I didn’t really care”

    A better recovery would’ve been just a “lol” then silence for the night (where it’s ambiguous and she can wonder about if you’re mad or not), or a “tsk tsk, leading on a long line of broken-hearted guys chasing you eh? such a player.” followed by silence for the night (where you’re forcing her to react to an accusation and showing that you “get it” that she leads on chumps which separates you from them etc.)



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

Original Link

via Heartiste

darkhorse
on December 7, 2013 at 4:42 pm
Original Link

@yareally ; @immoralgables

Field Report

So this is a field report from “Girl 2”.

You can read the background information here: http://bit.ly/1brkTdP

Our first time meeting up face-to-face since she gave me her number two months ago. We agree to meet up at a nice, fancy bar. Took YaReally’s advice and stopped sexualizing once we had made plans. Reason for this is so not to trigger ASD. She told me she was going to bring her friend, I ribbed her a little bit about this. 30 minutes before the meet up she announces she’s bringing two friends. Going into this my expectations for a lay are already low I can’t bring her back with my primary in bed, so point is just to practice taking from a pickup to meet up and see where things go. Lame logistics.

I end up getting to the bar late and it’s full so suggest a new bar where my friend happens to be. She brings her friends. We meet 90 minutes later than planned. (I actually think showing up late is a good thing for a number of reasons. 1) women tend to be late 2) she knows you aren’t over eager 3) she can drink and get relaxed before you arrive. My only recommendation is to be gentlemanly about it, eg. if you’re meeting her at 10, text her at 10 that you are going to be late. Control the frame on time, but don’t make the girl pissy.)

Here’s what’s going through her mind just before the point of meet up: I met this guy a couple months ago at a party, I think I was attracted to him, and his personality over text is interesting and flirtatious, but I was drinking when I met him and maybe I’m not 100% confident in my decision. Plus it’s been two months and maybe something radically changed with him in that time period. If I am in fact attracted to him, I’d like to fuck him, but I’m bringing my friends along because if I did in fact make a judgement, and he is in fact boring or weird, then I’m going to bounce and not sacrifice my evening for a lame guy.

Here’s what’s going through my mind: I’m a cool guy, I’m attractive, I know how not to be a pussy, she’s probably going to want to fuck me, I’m planning to escalate and curious how it’ll be received. Very relaxed state. First impression…she’s a 7, not an 8. Her body is tight, and face is cute. Professional, works for a fashion company. She’s well dressed but could have sexed it up a little bit more.

I embrace YaReally’s advice to escalate the moment she arrives. Warm welcome “Hey come over here”, embrace, peck on the cheek, establish a chill vibe like we’ve already banged. I’m expressing that I’m confident and comfortable being sexual with her. This state is very different mindset then, “I want this girl to like me so we can bang.” or “I’m charming and witty so let me prove it and seduce this girl” or “I’m successful so she’s going to like that.” Those states lack confidence. The mindset is simply, “I’m a stud, babe, you know that, I know that, I don’t need to prove it. Let’s escalate verbally and physically and be cool about it.”

Within 30 minutes it goes from standing next to each other, to arm around the waist, to one-second peck on the lips, to her tongue down my throat, she’s asking where do we go next? Long story short, logistics were a problem. I had no place to really isolate. Her friends got cranky that they weren’t getting any action (they told her I was “rude” because I paid no attention to them). Told her to go with her friends to club X and we can meet up late night. I text her later informing that I actually can’t meet up. Just didn’t want to wait, needed to sleep. Next day she’s calling (people still do that?) and reaching out sexually over text. Not even sure I want to consummate, lol.

Biggest hole in my game has been escalating naturally, this FR is the first time I felt really in control of my escalation, as opposed to using the “hail mary” technique (Get her to come out, I’ll play it cool, we’ll get drunk, at some point I may see an opening and have the balls to try a make out, and hopefully it will turn into sex.). Banged a lot of chicks, but escalation has been my weak point, just trying to improve. A few things I want to mention:

1) Aloofness has no place in a day 1 meet up. The “I’m the shit and you’re not worthy of my engagement” mentality comes off as shy and afraid to push the date forward. Aloofness may not destroy your chances of getting laid sometimes, if your girl is super, super into you, but you’re realistically lowering you lay probability by playing it super cool. Aloofness is appealing after the lay, but creates a confusing frame for the girl if you’re doing a day 1 meet up. If you play aloof and laconic in person when meeting a girl for the first time, she’s thinking the following:

- does he like me?
- Is there something wrong with me?
- Is he not sexually confident?
- This is fucking boring.

Instead of cool and emotionally remote, ideally you are:

1) in a relaxed state like she’s an old lay from back in the day
2) maintaining strong eye contact and speaking confidently
3) guiding the conversation, preferably to something superficial and sexual
4) physically escalating immediately

…rather than playing it cool. This communicates “I know what I’m doing, you can get comfortable with me now, and we can start progressing to sex.”

A bit about body position. I was standing, slight lean against the wall. I think standing is far better than sitting. A lot easier to put your arm around a girls waist from a standing position, and gives her the spatial freedom where she subconsciously knows “I can back off if this gets too heavy since I’m in not corner, he’s a natural, he’s not trying to force things”, which makes her more comfortable. Standing also allows you to vary your physical intimacy and gauge hers during a the course of a conversation. Talking to her from an almost perpendicular angle is very masculine (men talk shoulder to shoulder; women face to face), so start with a side conversation. If you are aligned face to face from the get go you’re subconsciously communicating that you’re either 1) feminine or 2) too ready to accept her emotionally before enough intimacy has been established (beta). As intimacy increases, the woman will get closer and try to physically get her body to face you, waist-to-waist (one exception: she’s super, super shy and submissive women who prefer you take total control.).

A bit about escalation. Properly executed, no need for escalation to take more than an hour. Honestly, if your on Day 1 and you can’t escalate to a make out within an hour, I’m not sure there’s much hope long term. Great to start off discussing something that’s lightly sexual immediately. It frames the interaction from the outset as sexual, you’ll probably get a laugh out of the discussion and it might be a bonding moment. (Not talking about going full-blown perv, just communicating that you’re not uptight and cool with sex.) Transition from discussion to physical, hand at the back of the waist for a bit, communicates intimacy. Low talk in her ear to turn intimacy up. Invent a reason to peck her on the lips for a second think a peck on the lip. (Is that lip gloss, does it make your lips feel smooth? → peck → eh, not bad). She’ll start reciprocating touching, getting physically closer. Can transition to a make-out and then leave for a lay. Trying to escalate from a point of aloofness comes off as pervy. If you can’t up to the peck point, or get rejected at the peck, then just consider mission vagina is mission impossible and bounce to another bar.


  • YaReally
    on December 9, 2013 at 1:22 am
    Original Link

    Solid breakdown. I don’t even really have anything to add, you broke it down yourself really well lol I’m just posting to say I agree with all your conclusions.

    “Biggest hole in my game has been escalating naturally, this FR is the first time I felt really in control of my escalation, as opposed to using the “hail mary” technique (Get her to come out, I’ll play it cool, we’ll get drunk, at some point I may see an opening and have the balls to try a make out, and hopefully it will turn into sex.).”

    Ya, that’s the point of a lot of my stuff, is that you’re making high-% plays and setting frames that allow sex/escalation to happen more naturally instead of crossing your fingers and hoping “it turns into” sex lol You’re the man, you make this shit happen, but you do it in a cool fun social congruent sexy adventurous way.

    And again, I learned all this shit through fucking up myself. I had a LOT of day2′s where we had fun, but I hadn’t crossed that “barrier” of being sexual or physical with her and it’s like the longer the date goes on the thicker that barrier becomes until you feel like it’s just way too awkward to cross it.

    By doing stuff like a quick kiss at the beginning and basically treating her the way you’d treat her if she was already your girlfriend, you’re neutralizing that barrier before it can form…and if she doesn’t go “OMG!!” and literally run away screaming into the night, but instead sticks around (even if she goes “omg nooo!! giggle giggle” and denies you the kiss but sticks around), she’s basically communicating “I understand that hanging around you means you’re going to try to fuck me, and I’m okay with that because I’m choosing to still hang around you…maybe you can’t escalate to sex right NOW, but that’s something I’m open to if you baby-step it and run solid game”

    “Long story short, logistics were a problem. I had no place to really isolate. Her friends got cranky that they weren’t getting any action (they told her I was “rude” because I paid no attention to them). Told her to go with her friends to club X and we can meet up late night.”

    This was the solid play even if you had a bed to bang her in, because her friends were cranky. Often I’ll tell the girl “go have fun with your friends, I’ll txt you later” so they can have their time with her, but later in the night after they’ve all had their adventure together, her and I begin txting eachother and arranging a meet-up (“tell your friends you’re tired and going home and come meet me at Bar for last call”) and isolate back to my place or hers for the lay.

    If you can win the friends over, cool, but if you have enough attraction like you did, you can let her go play and trust that you’ll meet up with her later.

    Another key is not escalating too far with her early in the night if you don’t have a clear green light on logistics to bang, so you leave her hanging and wanting closure on the tingles you stirred up…so before I leave her, I’ll give her one last super-hot kiss or if I’m feeling cruel (lol this cruel one is actually more solid to me tho) I’ll get up in her space and stare her down and allllllllmost kiss her and then right before we kiss just back off and say “have fun, I’ll txt you in a bit ;)” and leave her hanging lol

    “I text her later informing that I actually can’t meet up. Just didn’t want to wait, needed to sleep. Next day she’s calling (people still do that?) and reaching out sexually over text. Not even sure I want to consummate, lol.”

    lol for the record, if you DID have a bed to bang her in, this was probably a 100% lay. You could’ve gotten her to meet up around midnight or so for last call and gone back to your place to bang, super easy.


    • darkhorse
      on December 9, 2013 at 12:33 pm
      Original Link

      She’s reaching out and trying to introduce a less sexual frame: “How about we do lunch this week?”

      A pure beta would say ok. A beta with alpha aspirations would go for hair-trigger sexual reframe (example: “how about you just come over to my place instead late night”) that communicates desperation. A flat out ignore is probably too, too aloof, and incongruent. This is probably the perfect moment to use an ellipse to playfully communicate lack of interest in the proposition.


      • darkhorse
        on December 9, 2013 at 1:29 pm
        Original Link

        Actually audibled. T

        hink ellipse and silence can be misread as bitter and expectant. “he’s trying to shut me down because he expected the lay.” Danger is strengthening the ASD move.

        Just playfully told her lunch was tough since I work and can’t work since it’s uncouth to grope her daylight. She knows my frame is sexual and can lose me if she doesn’t submit, and that if I don’t get what I want it won’t be a big deal.


        • YaReally
          on December 9, 2013 at 7:19 pm
          Original Link

          Your response about groping daylight was slick and ordinarily would be awesome…buuuut in this particular situation:

          Her ASD is going off because you got her to (in a woman’s mind) shamelessly throw herself at you for sex (by agreeing to meet up later that night) and then flaked on her.

          Tone down the sexual shit, it’s already on like donkey kong. Don’t necessarily go to lunch because logistically if either of you has a job then lunch is difficult to escalate to sex (tho I did invite a new chick over for lunch and just escalated as soon as she showed up at the door, no sandwiches required lol but that was a pretty lucky break and I don’t recommend trying it).

          But DO pitch a less sexual day2(3?) that can logistically be escalated to sex. ie – “evenings work better for me. let’s grab dinner/drinks at Lounge around 7. We’ll have you home in time to get your beauty sleep for work don’t worry lol” or like “evenings work better for me. Let’s grab drinks at Lounge around 7. But just drinks tonight, I have an early day at work tomorrow so I need my sleep.”

          Note there’s nothing sexual in that AND I’m implying that we won’t even sleep together. Her ASD is saying “I need you to agree to a non-sexual date that won’t lead to sex to make up for my acting like a slut the other night wanting to fuck you”. So give her that, but on your terms in a situ that she can PRETEND won’t lead to sex (drinks in the early evening and you’re telling her she can’t stay over). That satisfies her ASD even tho she sub-consciously knows it’s a trap…you both want to fuck, you’re working together to tip-toe around her ASD so you can bang.

          Being sexual is forcing her to agree to a meet up where she has to be a slut so right now that’s going to do more harm than good. It can still work out but it’s the lower % play in this situ.

          Then on the date you just be sexual and escalate and bang that night, no big deal…once she’s out on the date it’s on, you just need to get past her ASD right now to get her out on that date.

          You could’ve avoided all of this if you had just banged her that night. That’s why I say don’t do a full hardcore makeout at the bar with a girl who isn’t already a fuckbuddy unless you have a clear path logistically to a place to fuck her. Cause her admitting she wants to fuck is her being slutty and if you flake or can’t logistically work the lay out, her ASD goes off and she flakes or you have to pull back and try to sneak in thru the asexual friend zone.

          Make sense?

          Ellipses, gay, etc are all stupid, don’t use those right now lol


          • YaReally
            on December 9, 2013 at 8:40 pm
            Original Link

            @darkhorse

            Agree to dinner, turn off the sexuality, and when she shows up just escalate to sex.

            You can keep being sexual and shoot for getting her to just come directly over to your place to fuck, but you’re taking needless chances on a low % play, you know? Once the meet-up is “real” in her mind (like “8pm at Lounge” VS a vague “we’ll do dinner sometime” or “we’ll hang out next week”), ASD starts hunting for “wait, am I being slutty here? Does he think I’m going to put out? Does he think I’m a slut?” and too much sexual talk can force her to flake.

            You could do it for the learning experience, like push for her just coming directly over. I did that for a couple years with online chicks because I didn’t want to spend money on drinks/dinner so I would just escalate with them until I could get them to drive to my apartment (sometimes from another city lol) where I could escalate as soon as I answered the door and bang them without having to go on a day 2…so it’s totally possible, but it wasn’t a solid play.

            So if you don’t mind risking her flaking, go nuts, but if you want the solid/consistent play, turn off the sex and go for drinks at a Lounge near your place and turn the sex back on as soon as you’re face to face (and ideally just have one drink and bail to bang lol). Her ASD will shut off as soon as you’re face to face because she WANTS to bang you…it’s just getting her face to face without her flaking is where the ASD often throws monkey wrenches in.



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

Original Link

via Heartiste

whorefinder
on December 8, 2013 at 7:02 am
Original Link

Hey guys, I would like an opinion on gauging a certain woman’s level of interest:

-she’s 34, in shape, a 6.

-Back story: we banged regularly for a few months this summer while she knew I was with someone else. I went over whenever I wanted, and nothing was off the table–extreme S&M, obedience, etc. She actually told me I fucked her in ways she never knew that she liked that she started going to therapy to figure out why what she liked what was clearly so extreme and disturbing. I broke it off for other prospects (I stopped contacting her).

-Recently ran into her (7-10 days ago),and she looked fuckable, and I wanted to start banging again. She told me that she had a bf now, and that she wouldn’t cheat — but only told me about aid bf after we’d been talking for a good long while.

-Texted her last night and said “that dude’s a loser. come over and play.”

Her responses:

1hr after my text :”R U drunk texting?”

then 1/2 an hour later: “I’m actually really happy with my bf.”

What’s the play?


  • whorefinder
    on December 8, 2013 at 7:07 am
    Original Link

    p.s. I did not respond to either of her texts.


    • Patriarch
      on December 8, 2013 at 7:39 am
      Original Link

      Sounds like you set off her defenses when you called him a loser. I had a FB who eventually got a boyfriend. She messaged me to talk and we end up talking about him, with of course me calling him a needy guy. She went into defense mode, trying to save face like a guy would if you called his girlfriend average looking. If i were in your situation i wouldn’t respond at all to her “im really happy with mr. twinkletoes” nonsense. I’d go silent for a week or so, then invite her out somewhere, where she can “make a mistake” and let you “it just happened” all over her face.
      I would try to come from a frame of pretending her boyfriend doesn’t exist, I wouldn’t bring him up and I wouldn’t discuss him, changing the subject with a reframe onto yourself when she mentions him. She can sleep with you if he doesn’t exist so don’t let him exist in your world. If you can get her to go out somewhere with you, She’ll more than likely cheat, but she’s going to be resisting all the way until it happens. First goal is to get her to come see you… if she agrees to hang out then she more than likely wants to make a terrible mistake with you, her knowing your intentions of course. No more sexual stuff till you get her alone in person.
      The only other alternative, is of course, rape!


      • YaReally
        on December 8, 2013 at 1:14 pm
        Original Link

        “Sounds like you set off her defenses when you called him a loser.”

        Yup. That was the wrong play. Never insult the bf cause she’ll have to defend him. You might be mad at your brother but if someone calls him a loser, you’ll defend him…only YOU get to talk shit about him, ya know? This is just human instinct.

        “I had a FB who eventually got a boyfriend. She messaged me to talk and we end up talking about him, with of course me calling him a needy guy. She went into defense mode, trying to save face like a guy would if you called his girlfriend average looking.”

        Yup. That’s a good way of describing it. This is a consistent pattern. OP’s probably toast for now cause he triggered her defenses…not much you can do from here but wait it out and hope they fight and break up, but even THEN you don’t talk shit about the guy.

        Consider this one a loss for a few months…there’s nothing you can actively do to make banging happen. She might get drunk/honey and take action and you can BF Destroy and get the lay but that’s entirely the ball in her court and not something you’re likely to actively cause to happen.

        Read up on Tyler’s “boyfriend destroyer” shit for how to handle these situs…make sure you click “go to part 2″ at the bottom, I think there’s like 4 pages or something:

        http://www.bristollair.com/2011/outer-game/pua-techniques/boyfriend-destroyer/


        • Patriarch
          on December 8, 2013 at 6:38 pm
          Original Link

          Waiting until they’re done probably offers more of a chance of success, but I am not entirely convinced the lay is impossible. The planned invasion of Japan during World War 2 was feasibly winnable, but it was going to be long, bloody, and misreable.
          If she has any attractions to OP at all, it’ll come to the front of her mind when she’s looking for that lay to get even with her boyfriend or the rebound after she dumps him.


          • YaReally
            on December 8, 2013 at 10:12 pm
            Original Link

            “Waiting until they’re done probably offers more of a chance of success, but I am not entirely convinced the lay is impossible.”

            It’s not impossible, it’s just not worth the effort. Her vagina doesn’t shoot magic rainbows out of it, and he sabotaged himself by insulting the BF so he’s now digging himself out of a hole before climbing the mountain VS starting on level ground.

            If he hadn’t sent his insulting txt, he’d be fine. Now he has to wait for her defensive shit to settle down before she’ll even entertain the thought…that might take a day, or it might take weeks or months depending on how much game her BF has (or rather, just how much her BF doesn’t fuck up lol).

            The optimal play from this damage control situ is to wait for a few weeks/months so her defensiveness goes down and she has more time to get bored in her relationship, and then give it another push but following the Boyfriend Destroyer concepts…unfortunately, because he’s already showed his hand by insulting the guy, a lot of the BFD stuff will come across as incongruent because she already knows his feelings on it aren’t congruent to the BFD tactics, so that incongruency alone could fuck him over.

            So like I say, it’s not impossible, but it’s not worth the effort at this point.

            “If she has any attractions to OP at all, it’ll come to the front of her mind when she’s looking for that lay to get even with her boyfriend or the rebound after she dumps him.”

            ya, like I said:

            “She might get drunk/honey and take action and you can BF Destroy and get the lay but that’s entirely the ball in her court and not something you’re likely to actively cause to happen.”

            But that would be completely her taking the reins and not something he can control or purposely instigate with game, so to me it doesn’t really count as a tactic…it’s more just hoping for Fool’s Mate. Which is totally fine, but he should spend his time gaming other girls and screening for kinky chicks to replace her, VS putting any real time/effort into winning this battle.

            On the plus side it’s not a total loss, it’s a learning lesson. His fuckup led to my linking the BFD stuff, so now he’ll learn how to handle these situs for the future, so ultimately it’ll end up being a good thing.



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

Original Link

via Heartiste

Hunter
on December 8, 2013 at 7:07 pm
Original Link

Okay so I’ve finally gotten my sub-communications down enough that girls will ask me questions that indicate genuine interest. Happened with four different girls yesterday.

Yesterday was also the night I began the makeout mission! Tried several times wohoo! Finally. Actually wasn’t as scary/bad as I expected….

Hadn’t approached all week (mostly out of frustration for not being about to convert my daygame interactions. Took a few days to read up on the Attraction phase as well as some routines). I get to A2, but then I don’t reward her interest (this is the part where she ends up asking questions) and I dodge her questions, thinking I have to continue to be playful. For example:

Outside nightclub (Russian 8.5 with friend):

*This is where my sub-communications were really solid*

Me (to Russian 8.5): You look very Russian… somewhat interesting…
Russian 8.5: (stares into my eyes, no expression)
Me: You look 19 (she was clearly older, maybe early 30s)… it wouldn’t work out between us…
(as I say this, she starts smiling, eye contact doesn’t break)
Her: What is “SASA”? (Shirt from college I’m wearing, obviously underdressed compared to her, doesn’t match anything I have on)
Me: (I point to my shirt) Sex, Ass, Sex, Ass (aaaaaaand this is where she lost interest)
Her: … (light in her eyes is gone)
Me: (I look at her lips) Would you like chapstick?
Her: No thanks (awkward smile)
Me: We should kiss now.
Her: No thanks (she and her friend walk away, I tried to grab her hand lol)

Sigh, just when I think I’ve made progress… lol

Anyway, my wing watched the whole interaction and basically said I had to come in more under the radar. This is a hot chick and just being sexual right off the bad turns them off… I mean, her friend was right there so maybe I she was embarrassed? Also, her friend just stood there silent, the one I talked to was clearly more attractive aka the leader of the two.

Another problem I’ve been having, without fail, this always happens:

I approach a few times, get rejected a few times and then I force myself into another interaction and I feel myself “trying” to make the interaction work. Like, I become more outcome independent as the night goes on. Furthermore, once that interaction ends, I just stand there thinking “Alright, what do I do now?… What’s the point of approaching when it’s just going to bomb anyway?” Then I realize this negative thought loop and then go “Okay, so this is a negative thought loop. Time to open all.” Then what ends up happening is I say “Hi” to just dudes and then I stop again, thinking “How do I talk to some girls” or “Man, I don’t know what to do here, I’m just going to look needy.” This really is a problem in the middle of the night, and I want to fix it. Of course, this is more of an internal problem than an external one. Inner game needs more work, in terms of overall momentum.

Anyway, I tried kissing a lot of girls last night. 0% success rate, but that was because I was still fairly uncalibrated. Got a few laughs, some cheek kisses, that’s about it.

Also, the problem with the YaReally missions is this:

“Then try again within 5 minutes. Then try again within 15 minutes. If you get the makeout, or don’t get it by 15 minutes in, walk away and go do it to the next girl.”

I generally don’t have much to say in those 15 mins. Going to learn more routines. Also need to learn to pull back on overgaming.

Still at it, though.


  • Hunter
    on December 8, 2013 at 7:17 pm
    Original Link

    *Outcome DEpendent. I’m gonna proofread these things next time.


    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2013 at 11:29 pm
      Original Link

      @Hunter

      Left a big reply but it’s in moderation ’cause it’s loaded with vids so check back here later lol


  • YaReally
    on December 8, 2013 at 11:28 pm
    Original Link

    @Hunter

    “so I’ve finally gotten my sub-communications down enough that girls will ask me questions that indicate genuine interest.”

    Good stuff, man! It’s all a progression as you get further along the pickup then fuck up once you’re out of your comfort zone, then after repeating that a bunch you eventually handle that part like a boss but get a little further and then fuck up, then next time you get further and fuck up, etc. etc. until you’re in your comfort zone all the way to the lay lol

    “Yesterday was also the night I began the makeout mission! Tried several times wohoo! Finally. Actually wasn’t as scary/bad as I expected…”

    lol that last part is the primary reason for that mission. To teach your brain that the world won’t end if you go for the makeout, and most girls really don’t think it’s that big a deal, especially if they’re attracted to you and you calibrate it.

    Keys to it:

    1) ISOLATE ISOLATE ISOLATE. Even if all you’re doing is taking a step sideways so to face you she has to turn her back to her friends, that can sometimes be enough, but ideally you can get her out of sight of her friends entirely…hell, even telling her “let’s go get a drink” and asking her friends for permission to take her to grab a drink, so they all think you’re going to buy her a drink, then just getting her in a position where her friends are out of her line of sight, gaming her, and then going for the makeout. If you end up at the actual bar just get her a glass of water and say you don’t drink lol Dance floor works too. Out to the patio for a smoke if you and her both smoke, etc.

    But ya, isolation is KEY. She generally can’t act slutty in front of her friends even if she likes you, because she fears their judgement, but once she can’t see them, if you’re getting her laughing etc. then she forgets they exist and she’s much more likely to kiss you.

    Best analogy for this is from RSD Julien (his “My boss, Michael” analogy at the start of this clip):

    2) Go for the kiss on a “Buying Temperature spike” (a moment where her attraction spikes up), VS out of the blue. So get her laughing and do it as she laughs, VS in the middle of asking normal questions or talking about normal subjects. As she laughs you can drop a “you’re cute when you smile ;)” and move in for the kiss. Or if you pass a shit-test, she gets a BT spike as well, so that can be a good opportunity (so that could look something like her saying “you’re such an asshole lol (in that way where she punches you in the arm because you teased her or passed a shit-test)” and you saying “you just hate that you like me so much” “lol noooo!!” “Liar. ;)” as you go in for a kiss).

    This is the main calibration for this one…with your Russian chick you had lost attraction and were on a neutral/down note when you went for the kiss. But if, when she was initially attracted (great open BTW, assuming attraction and roleplaying that you two will have a relationship that won’t work out as if you just assume she would be into you, VS letting her “no expression” response dissuade you) and she asked “What is SASA?”, if you had replied with something brushing it off like “don’t worry about it” or “I’ll tell you later” and gone for the kiss at that point, you might have gotten it, especially if you had stepped to the side so her back was turned to her friends…because at that point she’s receptive to it (like in Julien’s analogy, you’ve hidden her from her boss Michael and you know she’s attracted).

    So try adding those two things in: Isolate and spike her temp.

    “This is a hot chick and just being sexual right off the bad turns them off…”

    It depends on how you do it, it’s more “are you being sexual out of neediness or out of self-amusement?”. But it sounds like you guys had solid sub-communications going on and when that happens you can often drop a lot of the blatantly sexual stuff because you’re sub-communicating it. This goes back to the idea of acting sexual while verbally being asexual and the reverse of being asexual while verbally being sexual.

    From http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/6/#comment-heartiste-451275 :

    “It’s also important to note that as you play with getting more sexual, it’s actually good to combine opposites. ie – being very aggressively physical while talking about boring shit (shake hands with her, then pull her in and put her hands up on your shoulders for her and put your hands on her waist and talk about mundane boring “what’s your major?” stuff while being face to face with laser-locked eye contact and slow sexual speaking), or the reverse…being extremely verbally sexual while not touching her (turning the conversation towards sexual topics, telling a sexual story, asking a question that’s sex related, etc., so the conversation itself is very sexual but you’re not being aggressive physically with her, so you’re taking kind of an indirect route).

    The other two options aren’t as solid: no sexual verbal vibe and no physical touching = an asexual interaction where she doesn’t know you have a penis. Whereas an extremely sexual vibe with aggressive physical touching = a good chance of triggering her ASD too fast/soon and putting her guard up and making her more wary and resist more…granted closer to last call this can be a good method for the girls who are horny, but early in the night it can be too much too soon.”

    The key to remember is that when you hit that sub-communication eye-contact stuff, THAT is building sexual tension in her…so you’re actually escalating (Gambler’s example of it is great, where the girl instinctively giggles, because he’s putting pressure on her, but just by using his eyes), which is why you can verbally chill on the sexual stuff when you’re in that mode with her.

    “I mean, her friend was right there so maybe I she was embarrassed?”

    Ya, isolation increases the likelihood of success. She wants to feel like no one will judge her. A lot of pickup isn’t about one or two big amazing moves that win the day…it’s about doing a dozen little tiny things right that all add up and increase the % of your play. That’s why we follow formulas and structure, because it won’t always work, just like playing a certain hand in poker won’t always win and the way the other guy bets might indicate to you that you need to adapt to this particular hand…but overall in the long-run, you know that the highest % play with certain hands involve certain actions.

    The adapting on the fly is where the “Artist” part of Pick-Up Artist comes from, and you learn that from gathering reference experiences over time…No one is good at adapting at the start lol. It’s like someone first learning to drive, they’re too busy focusing on having their hands at 10 and 2 and shit to adapt to unexpected driving situations…but after a few years of being on the road, that stuff is on auto-pilot and they can go all Tokyo Drift lol

    “Also, her friend just stood there silent, the one I talked to was clearly more attractive aka the leader of the two.”

    That’s alright, it sounds like you had the same eye-contact stuff Gambler and Liam talk about in those videos I link in my Archive link above, so her friend was just letting it happen. Again isolation her by turning her away from her friend (it doesn’t have to make sense lol, just be like “oh the light is in my eyes, come here” and step sideways or step backwards to lean against the wall (if you’re in line at a bar) and pull her toward you, etc. and going for the kiss on a BT-spike would help.

    You would’ve had to acknolwedge the friend afterward, because she’d cockblock you later if not, and to do that I usually go “sorry, I’m being rude flirting with your friend here lol my name is YaReally” and hold out my hand to get her friend’s name and handshake (usually at this point the first girl will realize I don’t even know her name and shit-test me on that lol) and now I look cool/social, my target is attracted, and her friend approves of me.

    “I approach a few times, get rejected a few times and then I force myself into another interaction and I feel myself “trying” to make the interaction work. Like, I become more outcome independent as the night goes on.”

    lol if it’s any consolation this happens to everyone. :) A lot of it is based in pride/ego, like you take a hit so you want to make up for it…but of course we know in pick-up that the harder you try and the more outcome dependent you get, the less attractive you become to the girl.

    This can be a really hard thing to break out of because once you get into negative thought-loops it becomes really hard to pull yourself out of it. Even good PUAs with a lot of experience still run into this…it’s human nature to beat yourself up or get insecure when your ego takes a hit. I still run into this on rough nights and I’m an overall fairly up-beat guy compared to most people.

    The good news is that at least you can TELL that you’re in this mode. A lot of people don’t even realize they’re sabotaging themselves with negative thought loops spiraling down into a shitty state and depression…Naturals are really bad for this. They don’t learn about any of this psychology, and they tend to put a lot more pride/ego into their skills with women, so they can be on top of the world but if they get rejected or have a rough night they can crash HARD, like suicidal depression hard. It can be difficult if not impossible to NEVER get into a negative thought loop, but acknowledging it is the first step to throwing yourself out of it.

    The main concept behind breaking out of negative thought loops is to distract your brain so it can “reset”. Thing of it like a videogame locking up or crashing…it’s going to be hard if not impossible to just fix it while it’s broken, and over time whatever crashes is probably just going to cause more and more bugs, but if you jolt the whole thing by hitting the Reset button, the game starts over and works again.

    Some ways to Reset your brain when you’re in negative thought loops:

    - Go to a new venue. I used this one a lot when I was starting out because I did a ton of solo game in a city with bars close to eachother and no cover charges or anything, so if I felt like there was no coming back, I would just leave the venue and go for a walk around the block or get a slice of pizza or take a casual stroll to a bar, or even just go to a quiet bar/pub/lounge and chill with a drink and watch whatever band is playing or chat with the bartender or txt buddies on my phone etc. to distract myself. Then when I’d enter a new venue, my brain would get hit with a new set of stimuli with the noise and lights and crowd and girls and everything and often that was enough to Reset my brain and, as long as I threw myself into a set quickly, I could often 180 the night and salvage it completely which feels great.

    - If you’re stuck in one venue ’cause you’re with a group or people who don’t bar hop and wouldn’t understand “I need to change venues so I can Reset my brain” (lol), try going to a totally different area of the bar, like go out to the patio, or go to the smoking area if it’s outside…you don’t have to smoke or anything, just go out there and get some air and get away from the noise etc. Hell, even chilling in a stall in the bathroom can help, which sounds super lame, but if spending 15 min chilling in a stall and then splashing ice cold water on your face in the sink etc. makes the difference between going through another 2 hours of brutal frustration or taking home some hottie, fuck it lol

    - Since the key is to distract your brain or overwhelm it, physical stuff can work too. Dancing (even badly…hell, dancing badly/retarded probably helps MORE lol), changing your physiology by getting yourself moving (why do the Jersey Shore guys fist-pump? They’re keeping themselves in state by getting active with their physiology which forces their brain to follow). Go in the bathroom and smile at yourself in the mirror (always smile at yourself when you see yourself in mirrors and think to yourself “damn I’m good lookin” lol). Say affirmations to yourself if those help you (I was a big fan of affirmations when I started out) and try to get into a positive thought loop instead of the negative one just by steamrolling over it with affirmations.

    - Tyler’s method is to just force himself to open EVERYTHING around him…there’s no one way to handle this, it’s a personal thing that you have to learn what you respond to and what helps you, but here’s Tyler’s guide to how he does it incase it resonates with you:

    Same speech/concepts but delivered in a more serious way incase you like Serious Tyler lol (I like the above seminar version more, personally):

    - You can do painful physical stuff too, which can often be the fastest way to break out of a thought loop…imagine if you were thinking “I suck with girls” and then a pitbull bites your leg, you’re no longer thinking about sucking with girls lol Stuff in this category is like, get your buddy to punch you in the arm, wrestle with your buddy, do push-ups in front of some hot girls, squirt lime juice from a bar lime into your eye (Alexander from RSD was a fan of this one for a while but I don’t recommend it lol), down a brutally disgusting shot of terrible alochol, or a swig of tobasco, etc. I’m not a fan of this category lol

    - Embarrass yourself. I’m a fan of this one, as is RSD Julien…the basic idea is you force yourself to do something so retarded that your brain basically goes “well, if I wasn’t toast before, I sure as fuck am NOW!” and because it’s decided that you couldn’t do anything worse than that, and the world didn’t end, now your brain thinks the negative loops are silly and lets you Reset. The reality is, even if you do something embarassing, no one is really paying attention to you or is going to remember you or give a shit, so there’s not really any REAL consequence…but your brain in a negative thought loop will try to convince you that there IS and everyone will remember and bouncers will throw you out and you’ll die a virgin etc. etc. So this is basically calling your brain’s bluff by forcing yourself to like, dance badly by yourself on an empty dance floor, jump around, shout things, sing to the music, apporoach the hottest girls in the bar with the most retarded thing you can think of purposely trying to get blown out, etc.

    Here’s Julien on this (specifically around 3:10)…”If you’re a cool guy and you take a bootcamp with me, I’m like “Okay. Push-ups, right now, in front of the hot girls. As soon as you ruin the opportunity of ever being “cool” again that night, that’s when you let loose completely.”:

    Another thing that might help is reframing how you view rejections. Personally I’m a big fan of Julien’s “rejections aren’t actually rejections…a rejection is just unfinished business” frame:

    “0% success rate, but that was because I was still fairly uncalibrated. Got a few laughs, some cheek kisses, that’s about it.”

    lol it’s all good. Props for trying it and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Add some tweaks like isolation and calibrating to her Buying Temperature spikes and you should notice some differences. The key is that the world didn’t end, you didn’t get slapped or beat up or thrown out by bouncers etc…kissing is fun to girls, they just want you to do it at the right time in a cool fun attractive way. :)

    “I generally don’t have much to say in those 15 mins. Going to learn more routines. Also need to learn to pull back on overgaming.”

    lol you’ll get there. Routines are basically the “filler” while you run an overall structure…the overall structure is the most important part that separates us from “normal” guys in terms of consistency/competance, but the filler is what gets you FROM key strategic event to key strategic event.

    Good luck, keep at it! :)



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

Original Link

via Heartiste

immoralgables
on December 7, 2013 at 3:07 pm
Original Link

Readership:

I’d like to share my trial and travails so far with this HB7 Asian i picked up off of daygame the other day. All feedback is welcome and I’m sharing so hopefully some of you can apply and avoid some of the things I have done.

Disclaimer: Texting is a major deficiency of mine.

Me: Hey weirdo. Good meeting ya today, talk soon. -ImmoralG

Her: Alright :)

(Next day) Me: Question for you

Her: Hmmm?

Me: Are you at least 21 or do I have to rob an old lady of her ID so I can get you into bars

Her: Loll I’m not 21 yet :( but….I dont drink haha

Me: Whys that. Not judging

Her: Health issues : / haha

Me: You don’t eat meat, drink, or like dogs. Planning out a date isn’t easy with you is it ;-p

Her: Lolll it must not be if u say so haha

Me: Ok I want to know. What’s your top two vices. Because if you don’t drink or eat meat then it has to be something else.
Me: It’s probably guys in blue sweaters and a large Pokemon card collection

***OPs Note: I was wearing blue sweater during the pick-up***

Her: What do u mean lol I don’t understand ur question

Me: What are your two bad habits or guilty pleasures, silly

Her: Uhh that would depend on what ur definition of “bad habits” are

Me: Something u really enjoy but would make your conservative parents disown you if they found out

Her: Hahaha uhhh thats uncomfortable…what if ur a cop lol

Me: If I was a copy i would have handcuffed you with my red fuzzy pair already for being so adorable. Now answer my question

Her: Haha why do I have to answer this???

Me: *Sigh* ur no fun

Her: Lol k i think u kjow nore about me than I know about u

Me: …

**Ops Note: This is “Ellipsis Game” which I owe Walawala and Heartiste for putting me on**

Her: What
(2-3 hours later) Her: Loll is there somwthing u want to hear??

***Op’s Note: At this point, I was tired of thinking of a response and headed to the gym. I did not respond back that same day***

(Next day, ~12+ hours later)
Me: The only thing I want to hear is “Yessir” when I say hookah Thursday 7pm at XYZ

Her: Ok hookah sounds good wheres XYZ

Me: X ave btwn Yst and Zst

Her: Cool
Her: Do you live around here?

Me: I live in XYZ but will be seeing a friend in XYZ (near hookah spot) on Thursday Why what’s up

Her: Oh I see, no its all good. ill see you on thursday :)

(Later that same evening)
Her: Burn sesh tnght???

***Ops Note: I thought this may have been a trap and should have DHV’ed and said I already had plans. But, that part of me thought that the girl was inviting me to blaze aka FUCK. It sounded too good to be true and it was.***

Me: Hm where at. I just got back to my place and am soaking wet and cold

Her: Ok shooot I msged wrong man : / but u didn’t have umbrella?

Me: Oh my god I can’t believe ur cheating on me. I’m filing divorce papers and getting custory of the dog.

Her: Lol keep the dog! Sorry I usually only use the text with one person and I forgot haha and u replied so naturally.. didn’t realize I msged the wrong person.

THE END

**A few notes: Very cute girl and not fresh-off-the boat (FOB). She admits to not being able to develop emotional connections with guys she sees and in the PU I called it out as her not being attracted to the guys. She probably bosses them around and loses attraction when they do what she says. This was assessing her “Blueprint” and from there I riffed how I was going to boss her around, ignore her texts, etc and her eyes lit up.
She verbalized that she doesn’t like being told what to do and I called her out that despite that, she is still attracted to it. Understanding “her world” is one of the things that helped me get the number-close and set up less-than-solid plans for the meetup**

I of course fucked up but a couple things I learned that were helpful:

1) Elipsis game (the “…”) Use it when you don’t know how to reply or when you want to admonish a girl for doing something you don’t like. (Credit to walawala)

2) At first I thought her comment of “Lol k i think u know more about me than I know about u” was her way of saying that she wants more comfort/rapport. Seems so on the surface but I saw it as her failing a compliance test and her shit-testing me.

3) Taking 12 hours/a day to respond and coming back over the top with the dominant “The only thing I want to hear is “Yessir” when I say hookah Thursday 7pm at XYZ” was my way of incorporating the fact that she likes to be dominated. I hemmed and hawed on this and thought I might lose the account but it actually worked.

4) I fucked up by taking her beta bait on the “Burn sesh” and no doubt she meant that for one of her beta orbiters (or fuckbuddies, hey) that smokes her out. Yeah lesson learned. I tried to recover as best as I could by acting like I didn’t really care but I also wanted to make her emotionally react to me.

I will keep the readership updated as to how this goes.

-IG


  • Cad and Bounder
    on December 8, 2013 at 1:20 pm
    Original Link

    Next time, try this

    Good to meet you today
    Her: Alright :-)

    Two days later

    Hi Whatsup? Drinks at X, 9pm Thursday
    Her: Well I don’t drink haha
    ok change of plan. Hookah at Y. 9pm.
    Her: ok see u there

    There is really no need to try and add value, demonstrate dominance or sexually escalate before a date. All you are doing is running the risk of triggering ASD or giving her something to discuss (the content of your messages) with her friends so they can turn her off you.

    Just get the date and fuck her. Girls aren’t stupid. They know we want to fuck them.


    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2013 at 11:47 pm
      Original Link

      @immoralgables

      “Me: No biggie, I’ll wait to see how u make it up to me before I pass judgment ;-p”

      Solid! Well done. I’ll probably steal this one.

      “I doubt she will re-initiatie”

      She will. You don’t have to re-initiate, let her. She already feels bad about flaking and is into you and is worried about fucking up with you, so a few days of silence will make her wonder if you’re pissed. The ioi’s I’m looking at for this are:

      1) She flaked ahead of time VS at the last minute or flaking without warning at all and being like “o sorry I fell asleep lol” the next day.

      2) She qualifies herself by declaring herself as not the difficult type, so now she has to live up to that label which means she probably won’t play as hard to get as a girl who hasn’t given herself that label. It’s like when you say “you girls seem friendly”, they tend to be more friendly because you’ve given them a label so they’ll feel worse if they act bitchy lol

      3) She’s not flaking completely, she’s rescheduling. There’s a subtle difference…a girl who’s full-out not-giving-a-fuck flaking will just say “I can’t make it friday” but not offer an alternative. But a girl who’s super super into you will be like “I’m sooo sorry I can’t make it friday, but is Monday okay instead?? I’ll cook you something nice to make up for it and wear lingerie and blow you all night!!” (lol, exaggerating of course). This girl is in-between the two…she’s offering up that when her finals shit is done, you guys will hang out.

      So that stuff tells me that a few days of silence will make her worry “I hope he isn’t mad at me…” and probably txt you. Don’t push for a meet-up till she’s done her shit, but do keep in touch and build comfort/rapport with her via txt if she txts you. Just shoot the shit and do some light flirting, nothing too serious until her schedule is more free in a couple weeks.

      “I won’t lose points popping up mid-week to push for another meet up.”

      Don’t. She’s busy right now, she’s probably studying and stressing school shit and everything and wants to hang but just doesn’t have time. For a chick to hang out she doesn’t just roll out of bed mid-studying stressed and unpleasant and head downstairs with bed-hair to meet you, she has to get her hair done and be in a good mood and all that shit, esp if she wants to impress the guy.

      She’s basically just not in a position where she can meet up right now, so she’ll have to flake on you a second time and it’ll just make her feel bad/guilty and too much of that can make her just stop communicating entirely (no one wants to answer the phone when their boss calls when they’re skipping work pretending to be sick to play xbox lol).

      Show that you “understand her world” and ease up on the pressure for a couple weeks while she finishes finals. She’s into you, so you’ll be fine.

      “Actions speak louder than words for sure and ultimately, she did flake.”

      This one is okay. This is a legitimate flake. :) Ya, you could argue that if you were high-enough value like Brad Pitt she would ignore studying/exams for you, and that’s true, but like, you’re not that high-value to her yet and her exams are super high-priority to her during the weeks leading up to finals, so fuck it, just play it chill and push again at a more opportune time in a couple weeks.

      “I could have been a bit more persistant/dominat but I read her “I would be pushing itttt :(” as her politely/hesitantly rebuffing.**”

      No you read that right. I was actually worried you were going to keep pushing, but you pulled back at the perfect time…a liiiiittle more stress to make sure she’s not just being silly, and then backing off and challenging her to make it up to you. This was played very solid and I cheered in my head when I read that line lol Very well calibrated.

      If you had kept pushing, 1) it would’ve shown a lack of calibration, 2) it would’ve shown a lack of understanding/care about her world/reality (in a bad stressful way), and 3) you still wouldn’t have gotten her to blow off studying for her exams etc. for you so you still wouldn’t be getting your dick sucked lol


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 1:08 am
      Original Link

      No prob. If it’s any consolation, the reason I can say “this seems like a legit flake, not a bullshit one” is because I’ve had a fuckton of the bullshit ones lol

      Also if she DOES reach out to you at all this week, that’s an ioi. Other guys would reach out to her first, worried they lost her. You told her to make her flaking up to you so now you can just chill and see what she does.

      Worst-case she doesn’t txt you at all, and you go 2 weeks without hearing from her, then shoot her a teasing txt and get her laughing and push for the meet-up like nothing happened (aka you were too busy having fun with other girls to really care that you haven’t heard from her). Like, that’s no big deal lol. She’s not going to get railed by some dude as soon as she puts her pencil down after her last test. And she doesn’t drink so she’s not likely to go hookup with dudes during the “finals are done” parties…hell, she might even invite you to one (the one with the most orbiters for you to fight off, of course lol).


  • walawala
    on December 8, 2013 at 5:21 pm
    Original Link

    @Immoral You have to be overall a bit more dominant and playful at the beginning especially with Asian girls who immediately think foreigners (even if she’s living in the US) are more manly and dominant.

    I’ll give you one example of how I used text game very recently to instill/inspire the hamster.

    3 weeks ago I fucked up and broke no contact with my ex gf when she called and we began talking. I fucked this all up but basically was overt and said “OK I want to be together.”

    We get into a pattern of texting over the next day which is normal.

    Then I text about meeting up. She says “Can’t promise”….I go silent.

    A day and a half passes and she sends a trial text which I ignore.

    Finally at 2am she texts me:

    Her: “You disappear again…” Note that this is a trial text and a shit test which I would normally ignore, but game is never perfect and always a series of trial and errors….To ignore this girl would to me seem butt-hurt…so I punt.

    Me: I open up…but all I see is the black swan

    The black swan is a reference to her favorite movie about the crazy girl.

    Her; I was so busy I couldn’t meet up blah blah blah

    Me: Silence…and ignore for what is the second NEXT…it’s been 3 weeks.

    I fucked up the No Contact.

    But in this case the situation demanded some type of response to reframe the idea that as a man i’m serious and I expect a certain type of behavior.

    However, reaming the girl out again is a major turn off….

    She was expecting another confrontation, instead she got that one line: vulnerability, then dominance.

    Hope this helps explain the paradox and idea of what I have found that works with Asian girls and game.

    There needs to be some type of vulnerability or willingness to open up but also a clear boundary.

    If they act like cunts, you can then have license and excuse and rationale to walk away…and when need be pin it on their behavior.

    Asian girls are very pragmatic and logical but extremely emotional.


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 12:03 am
      Original Link

      “You have to be overall a bit more dominant and playful at the beginning especially with Asian girls who immediately think foreigners (even if she’s living in the US) are more manly and dominant.”

      This comes down more to how white-washed/FOBy she is. If she’s a super-FOB (or you live in Hong Kong lol) then ya I agree for sure, but asian chicks born and raised here, especially in larger cities, are mentally the same as white chicks. I’m currently in a city with a lot of white-washed asian chicks (aka bananas, twinkies, etc. lol) and they respond to the same game white chicks do because they didn’t grow up with the “foreigners are dominant” mentalities FOBs did.

      Your (walawala) dominant laconic style of game probably works really well on the FOBy girls, but the white-washed ones are more likely to go all “lol this guy’s butt-hurt, whatevs” to that txting (unless you’ve established super high-value, like already having fucked her lol).


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 1:02 am
      Original Link

      “Last week, ex gf shows up at party dressed SMOKING HOT.”

      Rolodex lol This is the “dress hot to make him see what he’s missing out on and chase me again” card in her rolodex.

      “I was puzzled.”

      Don’t be, she’s just doing the same thing as before…poking you with various sticks until she finds one that makes you react. I’d say she’s using her hotness now because you fucked up and admitted you still want her, so now she knows “alright, so instead of him being at a 0/10 in terms of being attracted to me, where dressing hot wouldn’t work because he doesn’t want me at all, he’s at a 4/10…so dressing hot will probably put him into an 8/10 and he’ll chase me!”

      Like you see how in a way, YOUR actions/reactions cause her to adapt her tactics. If you had been radio silent this whole time and she thought you legitimately didn’t want her anymore and had moved on, she would probably try a different rolodex card…in a way this is like as a boxer she landed a solid Left on you, and so she thinks you’re going to duck into her Right Uppercut…but she probably wouldn’t have thrown that Right Uppercut if the Left hadn’t landed.

      “so maybe she felt like dressing up”

      lol no, this is a calculated tactic on her part.

      See she wants to get back to a relationship too…but she wants to get back to a chaotic mess of a relationship where she can let her drama run free and you’ll put up with it. You want to get back to a relationship, but you want to get back to an orderly drama-free relationship where she doesn’t bring drama and you two can just enjoy eachother’s company.

      You both have the same general goal, but the specifics of it are different…and those different specifics are what will be the difference between a relaxing peaceful solid relationship for you or a stressful drama-every-week grey-hairs-early emotional rollercoaster of a chaotic relationship…

      And if you got her preggers and was locked down to her for the rest of your life, which of those relationships would you like to spend the next 20+ years of your life in? ;)

      “But more likely it was plausible deniability to get me to approach or dance with her or whatever.”

      Yep. 100%.

      “I did NOT approach, in fact I had a cold so left early.

      This past week, I also blanked her.”

      Perfect.

      “Any thoughts?”

      Keep ignoring her. Expect to ignore her for like 6 months minimum, maybe closer to a year. These social events your group has where you’re forced to see her actually lengthen how long you have to ignore her for and how pro-actively you have to ignore her. Without those events, she wouldn’t get a fix of you, but to her every single one of these parties she goes to, she has another chance to get your attention, and she’s just hoping that sooner or later you finally slip up.

      This also makes it harder for you to ignore her because you don’t get to just force her out of your mind/world/reality entirely, since you have to see her every couple weeks. She knows this.

      Basically she’s alcohol, you’re an alcoholic going to AA meetings, except every week or two you have to go hang out in a bar for a few hours lol The alcohol knows that sooner or later you’re going to probably slip-up, so it won’t give up as fast as it would if you never set foot in a bar again.

      So ya, this could be a solid 6 months to a year+, and even then would you WANT her now that you know what kind of person she is, objectively? Like you can train some shitty behaviors out of her, but the more “natural” that stuff like being a drama-bringing narcissist IS to her (ie – how long she’s been doing it, how many other guys have let her get away with it, how supportive her friends/family are of it etc.), the less likely you are to fully rehabilitate her into someone that you can trust will give you 20+ years of stability VS reverting back to it in a couple years when you’re locked down with a kid.

      And shit, imagine the kid that she would produce, and how she would raise it, if her view of reality and how to behave is the stuff you’ve seen?


  • YaReally
    on December 9, 2013 at 12:48 am
    Original Link

    @Scray, @immoralgables

    Solid breakdown, Scray.

    “Better to move that ball to the 5 yard line and have her try to push it back, than leave it on the 40 and try to have her help you push it forward.”

    And this is a good analogy.

    Cons:
    – I wouldn’t have used the ellipses there (having a hammer and viewing everything is a nail analogy and all). To me the ellipses is for when she’s qualifying herself to you (where she worries you don’t like her answer) or doing something retarded (where she worries that you disapprove of what she did) VS throwing it in when she’s just commenting.

    – If she doesn’t play along, drop the thread, don’t harp on it. She wasn’t going along with the vices thing, so I would have switched gears to something else or cold-read what you guess her vices are (and make them a tease).

    – Using “cheating” won’t sink you, but it DOES imply that you come from a relationship frame where you want to “own” her, which is totally fine if you’re looking for a legit girlfriend etc., but if you’re just wanting to keep things in a casual fuckbuddy frame, avoid talking about relationships (even in jest) in traditional ways because she’ll extrapolate from there…a good version of this is in 21 Jump Street where Dave Franco talks about how he doesn’t own his chick’s vag etc. lol it’s that attitude of not believing in traditional relationships that keeps you in the fuckbuddy category in her mind

    – Along those lines, “planning a date” is the same thing. Never ever ever use the D-word. It’s always “hang out” or “chill” or “grab a drink” or “meet up” etc. Never ever ever a “date”. Once you use the word date, you categorize yourself in a “potential provider” label in her mind and set the frame that this is a “date” and with a traditional date come other expectations attached to that event, like the guy trying to impress the girl, the girl playing hard-to-get, the date ending in a kiss at most, etc. etc. Just all terrible things in terms of setting a frame where you can fuck eachother

    Pros:

    “Me: Are you at least 21 or do I have to rob an old lady of her ID so I can get you into bars”

    Solid. Probably got a laugh and it implies that you’re fun and adventurous and teasing with a roleplay etc. VS guys txting “so do you like sushi? There’s this nice sushi place we could go to if you want…?”

    “Me: What are your two bad habits or guilty pleasures, silly”

    Main reason she doesn’t play along here is that you’re asking for too much compliance too early. You don’t have the value to her yet, for her to divulge this much personal shit about her. It doesn’t mean she won’t ever tell you, but that you pushed a little too far. So to liken it to being at the bar, it would be like asking her to come home with you to fuck VS asking her to go get after-the-bar food. She might be up for going home with you, but that’s too much compliance to ask for too soon, so she won’t play along…but she might like you enough to get pizza. Then at pizza you build more attraction and say “let’s go watch a movie”, where you might have enough value for her to comply to that. Then at your place you say “the TVs in my bedroom, don’t worry I’ll be a gentleman we’ll just cuddle lol” and she might comply to that, and then eventually you’re having sex, but you got there by baby-stepping the compliance.

    “Me: If I was a cop i would have handcuffed you with my red fuzzy pair already for being so adorable. Now answer my question”

    This was a solid save to her shit-test. Well done! I would have used something similar but worded slightly different:

    “if I was a cop, you would be in fuzzy handcuffs right now lol (then change the subject entirely and try a different angle)”

    Key diff is leaving off the adorable stuff (too brother/sister sounding) and dropping the “now answer my question” stuff…she’s clearly not complying to it, so just let it go.

    “Her: Lol k i think u kjow nore about me than I know about u”

    I’m with Scray, this was a chance to build some attraction/comfort/rapport. You don’t necessarily need to do it, because it’s okay if she doesn’t know much about you, you don’t have to be an open book…but DROPPING the conversation entirely?? You have her attention, do something with it lol At least build some more rapport with some back-and-forth, roleplaying, teasing, innuendo, comfort, cold-reading, anything lol

    “Me: The only thing I want to hear is “Yessir” when I say hookah Thursday 7pm at XYZ”

    This is solid. Excellent way to turn her question into an opportunity to push for a meet-up. Assumes attraction/success, dominant/leading, stating what’s happening VS asking, etc.

    A pattern I keep seeing is you do something that gets into uncalibrated/fuckup territory, but then you turn it around with a solid fuzzy handcuffs or meet-up push lol If you didn’t keep dropping these solid turn-arounds, you’d’ve lost her lol

    “Me: I live in XYZ but will be seeing a friend in XYZ (near hookah spot) on Thursday Why what’s up”

    Also good move using “friend” instead of like, “buddy” here, so it’s ambiguous whether it’s a girl or not.

    “Her: Burn sesh tnght???”

    Trap! lol If you had not responded at all, or responded with “already have company sorry” or something, that would’ve passed her shit-test (and possibly made her jealous).

    “But, that part of me thought that the girl was inviting me to blaze aka FUCK.”

    …which is exactly what the test was designed to do. :)

    “Her: Ok shooot I msged wrong man : / but u didn’t have umbrella?”

    I lol’ed at this. Notice that she doesn’t say “wrong person”, she says “wrong MAN”. Because she wants you to get jealous, the same way you used the ambiguous “friend” earlier lol A lot of game comes from reverse engineering the tactics girls use to make us chase them.

    “Me: Oh my god I can’t believe ur cheating on me. I’m filing divorce papers and getting custory of the dog.”

    “She admits to not being able to develop emotional connections with guys she sees and in the PU I called it out as her not being attracted to the guys.”

    Probably an accurate read of her. She’s not incapable of it, she just hasn’t met a guy worth it that triggers the tingles in her in that way because most guys’ game sucks ass.

    “She probably bosses them around and loses attraction when they do what she says.”

    Yep, also probably a good read. That doesn’t mean you have to ignore her and be laconic and only respond once a week and shit, it just means that she’ll test your frame a lot and you have to be a solid oak tree and not let her fuck with it.

    “and from there I riffed how I was going to boss her around, ignore her texts, etc and her eyes lit up.”

    Yep…but then you jumped when she invited you for a burn sesh in the rain lol…you just got in out of the freezing soaking rain and were willing to venture back out into it to meet up with a chick you don’t even know gives good head yet. ;) lol

    “She verbalized that she doesn’t like being told what to do and I called her out that despite that, she is still attracted to it.”

    lol yep. This is all good stuff…even if you didn’t verbalize it to her (tho I’m sure it helped build attraction for her to get called out on all that because not many guys “get it”), the fact that mentally you were aware of this stuff and able to conclude this stuff is solid and gives you a leg up on other guys in terms of dealing with her.

    “2) At first I thought her comment of “Lol k i think u know more about me than I know about u” was her way of saying that she wants more comfort/rapport. Seems so on the surface but I saw it as her failing a compliance test and her shit-testing me.”

    She was expecting you to offer up info about yourself or ask her to ask you questions about yourself, but all of that is being in her frame. Ellipses probably didn’t hurt, but I don’t think it really helped. Something that would’ve helped would’ve been like “You make me sound so mysterious lol” where you’re kind of turning it around on her like she’s being dramatic and then waiting to see if she’ll ask you questions (without prompting her to ask them)…if she doesn’t ask questions, change threads entirely and try another tool (cold-reads, roleplay, teasing, etc.), and if she DOES ask questions like (“tell me something about yourself” or “how old are you?” etc.) either handle them in a fun playful comfort-building way, or just go silent and go to the gym leaving her hanging lol

    Leaving her hanging when she wants an answer is different than leaving her hanging when you’re annoyed with her not playing along…the former will make her more curious, the latter might make her just wonder if you’re butthurt.

    “I hemmed and hawed on this and thought I might lose the account but it actually worked.”

    Now be congruent to that lol You know she responds to you not acting like other guys. In my other breakdown of your next text session with her I say to back off and let her do her finals shit, but that doesn’t mean when her finals are done you wait for her to plan a date and shit…you go back to being aggressive/dominant about meeting up, but just give her a couple weeks to get her “real life” shit dealt with schedule-wise.

    “no doubt she meant that for one of her beta orbiters (or fuckbuddies, hey)”

    Or it was meant for a girlfriend and she just used “man” to shit-test whether you get jealous…or there’s no one at all and she was literally just doing it to see what you’d do lol

    “I tried to recover as best as I could by acting like I didn’t really care”

    A better recovery would’ve been just a “lol” then silence for the night (where it’s ambiguous and she can wonder about if you’re mad or not), or a “tsk tsk, leading on a long line of broken-hearted guys chasing you eh? such a player.” followed by silence for the night (where you’re forcing her to react to an accusation and showing that you “get it” that she leads on chumps which separates you from them etc.)



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

Original Link

via Heartiste

darkhorse
on December 7, 2013 at 4:42 pm
Original Link

@yareally ; @immoralgables

Field Report

So this is a field report from “Girl 2”.

You can read the background information here: http://bit.ly/1brkTdP

Our first time meeting up face-to-face since she gave me her number two months ago. We agree to meet up at a nice, fancy bar. Took YaReally’s advice and stopped sexualizing once we had made plans. Reason for this is so not to trigger ASD. She told me she was going to bring her friend, I ribbed her a little bit about this. 30 minutes before the meet up she announces she’s bringing two friends. Going into this my expectations for a lay are already low I can’t bring her back with my primary in bed, so point is just to practice taking from a pickup to meet up and see where things go. Lame logistics.

I end up getting to the bar late and it’s full so suggest a new bar where my friend happens to be. She brings her friends. We meet 90 minutes later than planned. (I actually think showing up late is a good thing for a number of reasons. 1) women tend to be late 2) she knows you aren’t over eager 3) she can drink and get relaxed before you arrive. My only recommendation is to be gentlemanly about it, eg. if you’re meeting her at 10, text her at 10 that you are going to be late. Control the frame on time, but don’t make the girl pissy.)

Here’s what’s going through her mind just before the point of meet up: I met this guy a couple months ago at a party, I think I was attracted to him, and his personality over text is interesting and flirtatious, but I was drinking when I met him and maybe I’m not 100% confident in my decision. Plus it’s been two months and maybe something radically changed with him in that time period. If I am in fact attracted to him, I’d like to fuck him, but I’m bringing my friends along because if I did in fact make a judgement, and he is in fact boring or weird, then I’m going to bounce and not sacrifice my evening for a lame guy.

Here’s what’s going through my mind: I’m a cool guy, I’m attractive, I know how not to be a pussy, she’s probably going to want to fuck me, I’m planning to escalate and curious how it’ll be received. Very relaxed state. First impression…she’s a 7, not an 8. Her body is tight, and face is cute. Professional, works for a fashion company. She’s well dressed but could have sexed it up a little bit more.

I embrace YaReally’s advice to escalate the moment she arrives. Warm welcome “Hey come over here”, embrace, peck on the cheek, establish a chill vibe like we’ve already banged. I’m expressing that I’m confident and comfortable being sexual with her. This state is very different mindset then, “I want this girl to like me so we can bang.” or “I’m charming and witty so let me prove it and seduce this girl” or “I’m successful so she’s going to like that.” Those states lack confidence. The mindset is simply, “I’m a stud, babe, you know that, I know that, I don’t need to prove it. Let’s escalate verbally and physically and be cool about it.”

Within 30 minutes it goes from standing next to each other, to arm around the waist, to one-second peck on the lips, to her tongue down my throat, she’s asking where do we go next? Long story short, logistics were a problem. I had no place to really isolate. Her friends got cranky that they weren’t getting any action (they told her I was “rude” because I paid no attention to them). Told her to go with her friends to club X and we can meet up late night. I text her later informing that I actually can’t meet up. Just didn’t want to wait, needed to sleep. Next day she’s calling (people still do that?) and reaching out sexually over text. Not even sure I want to consummate, lol.

Biggest hole in my game has been escalating naturally, this FR is the first time I felt really in control of my escalation, as opposed to using the “hail mary” technique (Get her to come out, I’ll play it cool, we’ll get drunk, at some point I may see an opening and have the balls to try a make out, and hopefully it will turn into sex.). Banged a lot of chicks, but escalation has been my weak point, just trying to improve. A few things I want to mention:

1) Aloofness has no place in a day 1 meet up. The “I’m the shit and you’re not worthy of my engagement” mentality comes off as shy and afraid to push the date forward. Aloofness may not destroy your chances of getting laid sometimes, if your girl is super, super into you, but you’re realistically lowering you lay probability by playing it super cool. Aloofness is appealing after the lay, but creates a confusing frame for the girl if you’re doing a day 1 meet up. If you play aloof and laconic in person when meeting a girl for the first time, she’s thinking the following:

– does he like me?
– Is there something wrong with me?
– Is he not sexually confident?
– This is fucking boring.

Instead of cool and emotionally remote, ideally you are:

1) in a relaxed state like she’s an old lay from back in the day
2) maintaining strong eye contact and speaking confidently
3) guiding the conversation, preferably to something superficial and sexual
4) physically escalating immediately

…rather than playing it cool. This communicates “I know what I’m doing, you can get comfortable with me now, and we can start progressing to sex.”

A bit about body position. I was standing, slight lean against the wall. I think standing is far better than sitting. A lot easier to put your arm around a girls waist from a standing position, and gives her the spatial freedom where she subconsciously knows “I can back off if this gets too heavy since I’m in not corner, he’s a natural, he’s not trying to force things”, which makes her more comfortable. Standing also allows you to vary your physical intimacy and gauge hers during a the course of a conversation. Talking to her from an almost perpendicular angle is very masculine (men talk shoulder to shoulder; women face to face), so start with a side conversation. If you are aligned face to face from the get go you’re subconsciously communicating that you’re either 1) feminine or 2) too ready to accept her emotionally before enough intimacy has been established (beta). As intimacy increases, the woman will get closer and try to physically get her body to face you, waist-to-waist (one exception: she’s super, super shy and submissive women who prefer you take total control.).

A bit about escalation. Properly executed, no need for escalation to take more than an hour. Honestly, if your on Day 1 and you can’t escalate to a make out within an hour, I’m not sure there’s much hope long term. Great to start off discussing something that’s lightly sexual immediately. It frames the interaction from the outset as sexual, you’ll probably get a laugh out of the discussion and it might be a bonding moment. (Not talking about going full-blown perv, just communicating that you’re not uptight and cool with sex.) Transition from discussion to physical, hand at the back of the waist for a bit, communicates intimacy. Low talk in her ear to turn intimacy up. Invent a reason to peck her on the lips for a second think a peck on the lip. (Is that lip gloss, does it make your lips feel smooth? → peck → eh, not bad). She’ll start reciprocating touching, getting physically closer. Can transition to a make-out and then leave for a lay. Trying to escalate from a point of aloofness comes off as pervy. If you can’t up to the peck point, or get rejected at the peck, then just consider mission vagina is mission impossible and bounce to another bar.


  • YaReally
    on December 9, 2013 at 1:22 am
    Original Link

    Solid breakdown. I don’t even really have anything to add, you broke it down yourself really well lol I’m just posting to say I agree with all your conclusions.

    “Biggest hole in my game has been escalating naturally, this FR is the first time I felt really in control of my escalation, as opposed to using the “hail mary” technique (Get her to come out, I’ll play it cool, we’ll get drunk, at some point I may see an opening and have the balls to try a make out, and hopefully it will turn into sex.).”

    Ya, that’s the point of a lot of my stuff, is that you’re making high-% plays and setting frames that allow sex/escalation to happen more naturally instead of crossing your fingers and hoping “it turns into” sex lol You’re the man, you make this shit happen, but you do it in a cool fun social congruent sexy adventurous way.

    And again, I learned all this shit through fucking up myself. I had a LOT of day2’s where we had fun, but I hadn’t crossed that “barrier” of being sexual or physical with her and it’s like the longer the date goes on the thicker that barrier becomes until you feel like it’s just way too awkward to cross it.

    By doing stuff like a quick kiss at the beginning and basically treating her the way you’d treat her if she was already your girlfriend, you’re neutralizing that barrier before it can form…and if she doesn’t go “OMG!!” and literally run away screaming into the night, but instead sticks around (even if she goes “omg nooo!! giggle giggle” and denies you the kiss but sticks around), she’s basically communicating “I understand that hanging around you means you’re going to try to fuck me, and I’m okay with that because I’m choosing to still hang around you…maybe you can’t escalate to sex right NOW, but that’s something I’m open to if you baby-step it and run solid game”

    “Long story short, logistics were a problem. I had no place to really isolate. Her friends got cranky that they weren’t getting any action (they told her I was “rude” because I paid no attention to them). Told her to go with her friends to club X and we can meet up late night.”

    This was the solid play even if you had a bed to bang her in, because her friends were cranky. Often I’ll tell the girl “go have fun with your friends, I’ll txt you later” so they can have their time with her, but later in the night after they’ve all had their adventure together, her and I begin txting eachother and arranging a meet-up (“tell your friends you’re tired and going home and come meet me at Bar for last call”) and isolate back to my place or hers for the lay.

    If you can win the friends over, cool, but if you have enough attraction like you did, you can let her go play and trust that you’ll meet up with her later.

    Another key is not escalating too far with her early in the night if you don’t have a clear green light on logistics to bang, so you leave her hanging and wanting closure on the tingles you stirred up…so before I leave her, I’ll give her one last super-hot kiss or if I’m feeling cruel (lol this cruel one is actually more solid to me tho) I’ll get up in her space and stare her down and allllllllmost kiss her and then right before we kiss just back off and say “have fun, I’ll txt you in a bit ;)” and leave her hanging lol

    “I text her later informing that I actually can’t meet up. Just didn’t want to wait, needed to sleep. Next day she’s calling (people still do that?) and reaching out sexually over text. Not even sure I want to consummate, lol.”

    lol for the record, if you DID have a bed to bang her in, this was probably a 100% lay. You could’ve gotten her to meet up around midnight or so for last call and gone back to your place to bang, super easy.


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 7:19 pm
      Original Link

      Your response about groping daylight was slick and ordinarily would be awesome…buuuut in this particular situation:

      Her ASD is going off because you got her to (in a woman’s mind) shamelessly throw herself at you for sex (by agreeing to meet up later that night) and then flaked on her.

      Tone down the sexual shit, it’s already on like donkey kong. Don’t necessarily go to lunch because logistically if either of you has a job then lunch is difficult to escalate to sex (tho I did invite a new chick over for lunch and just escalated as soon as she showed up at the door, no sandwiches required lol but that was a pretty lucky break and I don’t recommend trying it).

      But DO pitch a less sexual day2(3?) that can logistically be escalated to sex. ie – “evenings work better for me. let’s grab dinner/drinks at Lounge around 7. We’ll have you home in time to get your beauty sleep for work don’t worry lol” or like “evenings work better for me. Let’s grab drinks at Lounge around 7. But just drinks tonight, I have an early day at work tomorrow so I need my sleep.”

      Note there’s nothing sexual in that AND I’m implying that we won’t even sleep together. Her ASD is saying “I need you to agree to a non-sexual date that won’t lead to sex to make up for my acting like a slut the other night wanting to fuck you”. So give her that, but on your terms in a situ that she can PRETEND won’t lead to sex (drinks in the early evening and you’re telling her she can’t stay over). That satisfies her ASD even tho she sub-consciously knows it’s a trap…you both want to fuck, you’re working together to tip-toe around her ASD so you can bang.

      Being sexual is forcing her to agree to a meet up where she has to be a slut so right now that’s going to do more harm than good. It can still work out but it’s the lower % play in this situ.

      Then on the date you just be sexual and escalate and bang that night, no big deal…once she’s out on the date it’s on, you just need to get past her ASD right now to get her out on that date.

      You could’ve avoided all of this if you had just banged her that night. That’s why I say don’t do a full hardcore makeout at the bar with a girl who isn’t already a fuckbuddy unless you have a clear path logistically to a place to fuck her. Cause her admitting she wants to fuck is her being slutty and if you flake or can’t logistically work the lay out, her ASD goes off and she flakes or you have to pull back and try to sneak in thru the asexual friend zone.

      Make sense?

      Ellipses, gay, etc are all stupid, don’t use those right now lol


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 8:40 pm
      Original Link

      @darkhorse

      Agree to dinner, turn off the sexuality, and when she shows up just escalate to sex.

      You can keep being sexual and shoot for getting her to just come directly over to your place to fuck, but you’re taking needless chances on a low % play, you know? Once the meet-up is “real” in her mind (like “8pm at Lounge” VS a vague “we’ll do dinner sometime” or “we’ll hang out next week”), ASD starts hunting for “wait, am I being slutty here? Does he think I’m going to put out? Does he think I’m a slut?” and too much sexual talk can force her to flake.

      You could do it for the learning experience, like push for her just coming directly over. I did that for a couple years with online chicks because I didn’t want to spend money on drinks/dinner so I would just escalate with them until I could get them to drive to my apartment (sometimes from another city lol) where I could escalate as soon as I answered the door and bang them without having to go on a day 2…so it’s totally possible, but it wasn’t a solid play.

      So if you don’t mind risking her flaking, go nuts, but if you want the solid/consistent play, turn off the sex and go for drinks at a Lounge near your place and turn the sex back on as soon as you’re face to face (and ideally just have one drink and bail to bang lol). Her ASD will shut off as soon as you’re face to face because she WANTS to bang you…it’s just getting her face to face without her flaking is where the ASD often throws monkey wrenches in.



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

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via Heartiste

whorefinder
on December 8, 2013 at 7:02 am
Original Link

Hey guys, I would like an opinion on gauging a certain woman’s level of interest:

-she’s 34, in shape, a 6.

-Back story: we banged regularly for a few months this summer while she knew I was with someone else. I went over whenever I wanted, and nothing was off the table–extreme S&M, obedience, etc. She actually told me I fucked her in ways she never knew that she liked that she started going to therapy to figure out why what she liked what was clearly so extreme and disturbing. I broke it off for other prospects (I stopped contacting her).

-Recently ran into her (7-10 days ago),and she looked fuckable, and I wanted to start banging again. She told me that she had a bf now, and that she wouldn’t cheat — but only told me about aid bf after we’d been talking for a good long while.

-Texted her last night and said “that dude’s a loser. come over and play.”

Her responses:

1hr after my text :”R U drunk texting?”

then 1/2 an hour later: “I’m actually really happy with my bf.”

What’s the play?


  • whorefinder
    on December 8, 2013 at 7:07 am
    Original Link

    p.s. I did not respond to either of her texts.


    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2013 at 1:14 pm
      Original Link

      “Sounds like you set off her defenses when you called him a loser.”

      Yup. That was the wrong play. Never insult the bf cause she’ll have to defend him. You might be mad at your brother but if someone calls him a loser, you’ll defend him…only YOU get to talk shit about him, ya know? This is just human instinct.

      “I had a FB who eventually got a boyfriend. She messaged me to talk and we end up talking about him, with of course me calling him a needy guy. She went into defense mode, trying to save face like a guy would if you called his girlfriend average looking.”

      Yup. That’s a good way of describing it. This is a consistent pattern. OP’s probably toast for now cause he triggered her defenses…not much you can do from here but wait it out and hope they fight and break up, but even THEN you don’t talk shit about the guy.

      Consider this one a loss for a few months…there’s nothing you can actively do to make banging happen. She might get drunk/honey and take action and you can BF Destroy and get the lay but that’s entirely the ball in her court and not something you’re likely to actively cause to happen.

      Read up on Tyler’s “boyfriend destroyer” shit for how to handle these situs…make sure you click “go to part 2″ at the bottom, I think there’s like 4 pages or something:

      http://www.bristollair.com/2011/outer-game/pua-techniques/boyfriend-destroyer/


    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2013 at 10:12 pm
      Original Link

      “Waiting until they’re done probably offers more of a chance of success, but I am not entirely convinced the lay is impossible.”

      It’s not impossible, it’s just not worth the effort. Her vagina doesn’t shoot magic rainbows out of it, and he sabotaged himself by insulting the BF so he’s now digging himself out of a hole before climbing the mountain VS starting on level ground.

      If he hadn’t sent his insulting txt, he’d be fine. Now he has to wait for her defensive shit to settle down before she’ll even entertain the thought…that might take a day, or it might take weeks or months depending on how much game her BF has (or rather, just how much her BF doesn’t fuck up lol).

      The optimal play from this damage control situ is to wait for a few weeks/months so her defensiveness goes down and she has more time to get bored in her relationship, and then give it another push but following the Boyfriend Destroyer concepts…unfortunately, because he’s already showed his hand by insulting the guy, a lot of the BFD stuff will come across as incongruent because she already knows his feelings on it aren’t congruent to the BFD tactics, so that incongruency alone could fuck him over.

      So like I say, it’s not impossible, but it’s not worth the effort at this point.

      “If she has any attractions to OP at all, it’ll come to the front of her mind when she’s looking for that lay to get even with her boyfriend or the rebound after she dumps him.”

      ya, like I said:

      “She might get drunk/honey and take action and you can BF Destroy and get the lay but that’s entirely the ball in her court and not something you’re likely to actively cause to happen.”

      But that would be completely her taking the reins and not something he can control or purposely instigate with game, so to me it doesn’t really count as a tactic…it’s more just hoping for Fool’s Mate. Which is totally fine, but he should spend his time gaming other girls and screening for kinky chicks to replace her, VS putting any real time/effort into winning this battle.

      On the plus side it’s not a total loss, it’s a learning lesson. His fuckup led to my linking the BFD stuff, so now he’ll learn how to handle these situs for the future, so ultimately it’ll end up being a good thing.



Comment Of The Week: Getting To The Id Of It

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via Heartiste

Hunter
on December 8, 2013 at 7:07 pm
Original Link

Okay so I’ve finally gotten my sub-communications down enough that girls will ask me questions that indicate genuine interest. Happened with four different girls yesterday.

Yesterday was also the night I began the makeout mission! Tried several times wohoo! Finally. Actually wasn’t as scary/bad as I expected….

Hadn’t approached all week (mostly out of frustration for not being about to convert my daygame interactions. Took a few days to read up on the Attraction phase as well as some routines). I get to A2, but then I don’t reward her interest (this is the part where she ends up asking questions) and I dodge her questions, thinking I have to continue to be playful. For example:

Outside nightclub (Russian 8.5 with friend):

*This is where my sub-communications were really solid*

Me (to Russian 8.5): You look very Russian… somewhat interesting…
Russian 8.5: (stares into my eyes, no expression)
Me: You look 19 (she was clearly older, maybe early 30s)… it wouldn’t work out between us…
(as I say this, she starts smiling, eye contact doesn’t break)
Her: What is “SASA”? (Shirt from college I’m wearing, obviously underdressed compared to her, doesn’t match anything I have on)
Me: (I point to my shirt) Sex, Ass, Sex, Ass (aaaaaaand this is where she lost interest)
Her: … (light in her eyes is gone)
Me: (I look at her lips) Would you like chapstick?
Her: No thanks (awkward smile)
Me: We should kiss now.
Her: No thanks (she and her friend walk away, I tried to grab her hand lol)

Sigh, just when I think I’ve made progress… lol

Anyway, my wing watched the whole interaction and basically said I had to come in more under the radar. This is a hot chick and just being sexual right off the bad turns them off… I mean, her friend was right there so maybe I she was embarrassed? Also, her friend just stood there silent, the one I talked to was clearly more attractive aka the leader of the two.

Another problem I’ve been having, without fail, this always happens:

I approach a few times, get rejected a few times and then I force myself into another interaction and I feel myself “trying” to make the interaction work. Like, I become more outcome independent as the night goes on. Furthermore, once that interaction ends, I just stand there thinking “Alright, what do I do now?… What’s the point of approaching when it’s just going to bomb anyway?” Then I realize this negative thought loop and then go “Okay, so this is a negative thought loop. Time to open all.” Then what ends up happening is I say “Hi” to just dudes and then I stop again, thinking “How do I talk to some girls” or “Man, I don’t know what to do here, I’m just going to look needy.” This really is a problem in the middle of the night, and I want to fix it. Of course, this is more of an internal problem than an external one. Inner game needs more work, in terms of overall momentum.

Anyway, I tried kissing a lot of girls last night. 0% success rate, but that was because I was still fairly uncalibrated. Got a few laughs, some cheek kisses, that’s about it.

Also, the problem with the YaReally missions is this:

“Then try again within 5 minutes. Then try again within 15 minutes. If you get the makeout, or don’t get it by 15 minutes in, walk away and go do it to the next girl.”

I generally don’t have much to say in those 15 mins. Going to learn more routines. Also need to learn to pull back on overgaming.

Still at it, though.


  • Hunter
    on December 8, 2013 at 7:17 pm
    Original Link

    *Outcome DEpendent. I’m gonna proofread these things next time.


    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2013 at 11:29 pm
      Original Link

      @Hunter

      Left a big reply but it’s in moderation ’cause it’s loaded with vids so check back here later lol


  • YaReally
    on December 8, 2013 at 11:28 pm
    Original Link

    @Hunter

    “so I’ve finally gotten my sub-communications down enough that girls will ask me questions that indicate genuine interest.”

    Good stuff, man! It’s all a progression as you get further along the pickup then fuck up once you’re out of your comfort zone, then after repeating that a bunch you eventually handle that part like a boss but get a little further and then fuck up, then next time you get further and fuck up, etc. etc. until you’re in your comfort zone all the way to the lay lol

    “Yesterday was also the night I began the makeout mission! Tried several times wohoo! Finally. Actually wasn’t as scary/bad as I expected…”

    lol that last part is the primary reason for that mission. To teach your brain that the world won’t end if you go for the makeout, and most girls really don’t think it’s that big a deal, especially if they’re attracted to you and you calibrate it.

    Keys to it:

    1) ISOLATE ISOLATE ISOLATE. Even if all you’re doing is taking a step sideways so to face you she has to turn her back to her friends, that can sometimes be enough, but ideally you can get her out of sight of her friends entirely…hell, even telling her “let’s go get a drink” and asking her friends for permission to take her to grab a drink, so they all think you’re going to buy her a drink, then just getting her in a position where her friends are out of her line of sight, gaming her, and then going for the makeout. If you end up at the actual bar just get her a glass of water and say you don’t drink lol Dance floor works too. Out to the patio for a smoke if you and her both smoke, etc.

    But ya, isolation is KEY. She generally can’t act slutty in front of her friends even if she likes you, because she fears their judgement, but once she can’t see them, if you’re getting her laughing etc. then she forgets they exist and she’s much more likely to kiss you.

    Best analogy for this is from RSD Julien (his “My boss, Michael” analogy at the start of this clip):

    2) Go for the kiss on a “Buying Temperature spike” (a moment where her attraction spikes up), VS out of the blue. So get her laughing and do it as she laughs, VS in the middle of asking normal questions or talking about normal subjects. As she laughs you can drop a “you’re cute when you smile ;)” and move in for the kiss. Or if you pass a shit-test, she gets a BT spike as well, so that can be a good opportunity (so that could look something like her saying “you’re such an asshole lol (in that way where she punches you in the arm because you teased her or passed a shit-test)” and you saying “you just hate that you like me so much” “lol noooo!!” “Liar. ;)” as you go in for a kiss).

    This is the main calibration for this one…with your Russian chick you had lost attraction and were on a neutral/down note when you went for the kiss. But if, when she was initially attracted (great open BTW, assuming attraction and roleplaying that you two will have a relationship that won’t work out as if you just assume she would be into you, VS letting her “no expression” response dissuade you) and she asked “What is SASA?”, if you had replied with something brushing it off like “don’t worry about it” or “I’ll tell you later” and gone for the kiss at that point, you might have gotten it, especially if you had stepped to the side so her back was turned to her friends…because at that point she’s receptive to it (like in Julien’s analogy, you’ve hidden her from her boss Michael and you know she’s attracted).

    So try adding those two things in: Isolate and spike her temp.

    “This is a hot chick and just being sexual right off the bad turns them off…”

    It depends on how you do it, it’s more “are you being sexual out of neediness or out of self-amusement?”. But it sounds like you guys had solid sub-communications going on and when that happens you can often drop a lot of the blatantly sexual stuff because you’re sub-communicating it. This goes back to the idea of acting sexual while verbally being asexual and the reverse of being asexual while verbally being sexual.

    From http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/6/#comment-heartiste-451275 :

    “It’s also important to note that as you play with getting more sexual, it’s actually good to combine opposites. ie – being very aggressively physical while talking about boring shit (shake hands with her, then pull her in and put her hands up on your shoulders for her and put your hands on her waist and talk about mundane boring “what’s your major?” stuff while being face to face with laser-locked eye contact and slow sexual speaking), or the reverse…being extremely verbally sexual while not touching her (turning the conversation towards sexual topics, telling a sexual story, asking a question that’s sex related, etc., so the conversation itself is very sexual but you’re not being aggressive physically with her, so you’re taking kind of an indirect route).

    The other two options aren’t as solid: no sexual verbal vibe and no physical touching = an asexual interaction where she doesn’t know you have a penis. Whereas an extremely sexual vibe with aggressive physical touching = a good chance of triggering her ASD too fast/soon and putting her guard up and making her more wary and resist more…granted closer to last call this can be a good method for the girls who are horny, but early in the night it can be too much too soon.”

    The key to remember is that when you hit that sub-communication eye-contact stuff, THAT is building sexual tension in her…so you’re actually escalating (Gambler’s example of it is great, where the girl instinctively giggles, because he’s putting pressure on her, but just by using his eyes), which is why you can verbally chill on the sexual stuff when you’re in that mode with her.

    “I mean, her friend was right there so maybe I she was embarrassed?”

    Ya, isolation increases the likelihood of success. She wants to feel like no one will judge her. A lot of pickup isn’t about one or two big amazing moves that win the day…it’s about doing a dozen little tiny things right that all add up and increase the % of your play. That’s why we follow formulas and structure, because it won’t always work, just like playing a certain hand in poker won’t always win and the way the other guy bets might indicate to you that you need to adapt to this particular hand…but overall in the long-run, you know that the highest % play with certain hands involve certain actions.

    The adapting on the fly is where the “Artist” part of Pick-Up Artist comes from, and you learn that from gathering reference experiences over time…No one is good at adapting at the start lol. It’s like someone first learning to drive, they’re too busy focusing on having their hands at 10 and 2 and shit to adapt to unexpected driving situations…but after a few years of being on the road, that stuff is on auto-pilot and they can go all Tokyo Drift lol

    “Also, her friend just stood there silent, the one I talked to was clearly more attractive aka the leader of the two.”

    That’s alright, it sounds like you had the same eye-contact stuff Gambler and Liam talk about in those videos I link in my Archive link above, so her friend was just letting it happen. Again isolation her by turning her away from her friend (it doesn’t have to make sense lol, just be like “oh the light is in my eyes, come here” and step sideways or step backwards to lean against the wall (if you’re in line at a bar) and pull her toward you, etc. and going for the kiss on a BT-spike would help.

    You would’ve had to acknolwedge the friend afterward, because she’d cockblock you later if not, and to do that I usually go “sorry, I’m being rude flirting with your friend here lol my name is YaReally” and hold out my hand to get her friend’s name and handshake (usually at this point the first girl will realize I don’t even know her name and shit-test me on that lol) and now I look cool/social, my target is attracted, and her friend approves of me.

    “I approach a few times, get rejected a few times and then I force myself into another interaction and I feel myself “trying” to make the interaction work. Like, I become more outcome independent as the night goes on.”

    lol if it’s any consolation this happens to everyone. :) A lot of it is based in pride/ego, like you take a hit so you want to make up for it…but of course we know in pick-up that the harder you try and the more outcome dependent you get, the less attractive you become to the girl.

    This can be a really hard thing to break out of because once you get into negative thought-loops it becomes really hard to pull yourself out of it. Even good PUAs with a lot of experience still run into this…it’s human nature to beat yourself up or get insecure when your ego takes a hit. I still run into this on rough nights and I’m an overall fairly up-beat guy compared to most people.

    The good news is that at least you can TELL that you’re in this mode. A lot of people don’t even realize they’re sabotaging themselves with negative thought loops spiraling down into a shitty state and depression…Naturals are really bad for this. They don’t learn about any of this psychology, and they tend to put a lot more pride/ego into their skills with women, so they can be on top of the world but if they get rejected or have a rough night they can crash HARD, like suicidal depression hard. It can be difficult if not impossible to NEVER get into a negative thought loop, but acknowledging it is the first step to throwing yourself out of it.

    The main concept behind breaking out of negative thought loops is to distract your brain so it can “reset”. Thing of it like a videogame locking up or crashing…it’s going to be hard if not impossible to just fix it while it’s broken, and over time whatever crashes is probably just going to cause more and more bugs, but if you jolt the whole thing by hitting the Reset button, the game starts over and works again.

    Some ways to Reset your brain when you’re in negative thought loops:

    – Go to a new venue. I used this one a lot when I was starting out because I did a ton of solo game in a city with bars close to eachother and no cover charges or anything, so if I felt like there was no coming back, I would just leave the venue and go for a walk around the block or get a slice of pizza or take a casual stroll to a bar, or even just go to a quiet bar/pub/lounge and chill with a drink and watch whatever band is playing or chat with the bartender or txt buddies on my phone etc. to distract myself. Then when I’d enter a new venue, my brain would get hit with a new set of stimuli with the noise and lights and crowd and girls and everything and often that was enough to Reset my brain and, as long as I threw myself into a set quickly, I could often 180 the night and salvage it completely which feels great.

    – If you’re stuck in one venue ’cause you’re with a group or people who don’t bar hop and wouldn’t understand “I need to change venues so I can Reset my brain” (lol), try going to a totally different area of the bar, like go out to the patio, or go to the smoking area if it’s outside…you don’t have to smoke or anything, just go out there and get some air and get away from the noise etc. Hell, even chilling in a stall in the bathroom can help, which sounds super lame, but if spending 15 min chilling in a stall and then splashing ice cold water on your face in the sink etc. makes the difference between going through another 2 hours of brutal frustration or taking home some hottie, fuck it lol

    – Since the key is to distract your brain or overwhelm it, physical stuff can work too. Dancing (even badly…hell, dancing badly/retarded probably helps MORE lol), changing your physiology by getting yourself moving (why do the Jersey Shore guys fist-pump? They’re keeping themselves in state by getting active with their physiology which forces their brain to follow). Go in the bathroom and smile at yourself in the mirror (always smile at yourself when you see yourself in mirrors and think to yourself “damn I’m good lookin” lol). Say affirmations to yourself if those help you (I was a big fan of affirmations when I started out) and try to get into a positive thought loop instead of the negative one just by steamrolling over it with affirmations.

    – Tyler’s method is to just force himself to open EVERYTHING around him…there’s no one way to handle this, it’s a personal thing that you have to learn what you respond to and what helps you, but here’s Tyler’s guide to how he does it incase it resonates with you:

    Same speech/concepts but delivered in a more serious way incase you like Serious Tyler lol (I like the above seminar version more, personally):

    – You can do painful physical stuff too, which can often be the fastest way to break out of a thought loop…imagine if you were thinking “I suck with girls” and then a pitbull bites your leg, you’re no longer thinking about sucking with girls lol Stuff in this category is like, get your buddy to punch you in the arm, wrestle with your buddy, do push-ups in front of some hot girls, squirt lime juice from a bar lime into your eye (Alexander from RSD was a fan of this one for a while but I don’t recommend it lol), down a brutally disgusting shot of terrible alochol, or a swig of tobasco, etc. I’m not a fan of this category lol

    – Embarrass yourself. I’m a fan of this one, as is RSD Julien…the basic idea is you force yourself to do something so retarded that your brain basically goes “well, if I wasn’t toast before, I sure as fuck am NOW!” and because it’s decided that you couldn’t do anything worse than that, and the world didn’t end, now your brain thinks the negative loops are silly and lets you Reset. The reality is, even if you do something embarassing, no one is really paying attention to you or is going to remember you or give a shit, so there’s not really any REAL consequence…but your brain in a negative thought loop will try to convince you that there IS and everyone will remember and bouncers will throw you out and you’ll die a virgin etc. etc. So this is basically calling your brain’s bluff by forcing yourself to like, dance badly by yourself on an empty dance floor, jump around, shout things, sing to the music, apporoach the hottest girls in the bar with the most retarded thing you can think of purposely trying to get blown out, etc.

    Here’s Julien on this (specifically around 3:10)…”If you’re a cool guy and you take a bootcamp with me, I’m like “Okay. Push-ups, right now, in front of the hot girls. As soon as you ruin the opportunity of ever being “cool” again that night, that’s when you let loose completely.”:

    Another thing that might help is reframing how you view rejections. Personally I’m a big fan of Julien’s “rejections aren’t actually rejections…a rejection is just unfinished business” frame:

    “0% success rate, but that was because I was still fairly uncalibrated. Got a few laughs, some cheek kisses, that’s about it.”

    lol it’s all good. Props for trying it and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Add some tweaks like isolation and calibrating to her Buying Temperature spikes and you should notice some differences. The key is that the world didn’t end, you didn’t get slapped or beat up or thrown out by bouncers etc…kissing is fun to girls, they just want you to do it at the right time in a cool fun attractive way. :)

    “I generally don’t have much to say in those 15 mins. Going to learn more routines. Also need to learn to pull back on overgaming.”

    lol you’ll get there. Routines are basically the “filler” while you run an overall structure…the overall structure is the most important part that separates us from “normal” guys in terms of consistency/competance, but the filler is what gets you FROM key strategic event to key strategic event.

    Good luck, keep at it! :)



Saving the Best

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 4:08 pm
Original Link

lol it’s mind-boggling how many guys will read this and then think “but the girl I’LL get will be SPECIAL, she won’t have done anything sexual!! YaReally just gets bar sluts, not like the girls *I* get!” because of their madonna/whore complex. If you give off any kind of judgemental vibe, or even don’t give one off but don’t actively give off a NON-judgemental vibe, she’ll simply hide her history from you…ESPECIALLY if she sees you as potential long-term relationship material.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I would rather come off non-judgemental and encourage her to share her real sexual side with me, than tell her I only like good girls and have her clam up and keep secrets. I’ll quiz girls to see what kind of stuff they’ve done, under the guise of “wow, you banged an entire football team, that’s hot, that’s like some porn level shit, tell me more, they probably didn’t even use condoms hey? I hate condoms too ugh…” and then just not actually bang her (lol, surprise judgement! I don’t think less of her as a person and I wish her the best of luck, but I don’t want to stick my dick in that).

I’ve done shit with girls that their boyfriends/hubbies/friends have no idea their girl is even capable of doing or would even fantasize about, because their girl is a perfect angel to them, because they might judge her.

Like Tyler says, “the only reason you’re angry about it, is because you’re not a part of it”. That’s why this guy is pissed, it’s not that she did that, it’s that she won’t do it with HIM. Because he isn’t sexworthy enough to her.

I would bet that this is the same kind of guy who would have been totally anti-game back when he met his chick too lol

Props to the guy for having the balls to call her out on it and walk out. But he trapped himself by getting legally married to her so he’s pretty fucked. And his resentment isn’t going to go away anytime soon. An open marriage would be retarded…he will get zero pussy and she will fuck a bunch of guys, because he clearly doesn’t satisfy her Hypergamy.

Learn game, learn to be sexual, learn to accept that women love sex and be okay with that, learn not to judge, and learn to keep growing as a man instead of resting on your laurels once you’re married. And don’t get married.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 4:13 pm
Original Link

And as far as what he SHOULD do, if he wants to stay in the marriage which he should ’cause he’s got a kid and divorce rape sucks and all, is absorb everything on Married Man Sex Life and follow the Map thing to make himself more attractive on there.

He will never ever ever ever ever logically convince his wife to be attracted to him, that’s just not how it works…but he COULD theoretically improve himself and down the road in year or two he may be able to start triggering her hypergamy and legitimately attract her…it’s an uphill battle, but hey, what else does he have to do, it’s not like he’s busy having hot kinky sex with his wife lol

Preventative measures:


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 4:17 pm
Original Link

@deti

“What’s a man going to do to determine if his woman is/was a slut? Ask her? What’s he going to do to determine her N? Ask her? Don’t ever expect an honest answer to such questions”

Ask them without judgement, and they’ll tend to be pretty honest. This is pretty much impossible for a lot of men though, ’cause of the madonna/whore complex most guys have. Her female BFF and gay BFF know things about her that her boyfriend doesn’t know…why? They won’t judge her. The only person less judgemental than her BFF is a guy who’s super comfortable with sex and sexuality, and who won’t be around for more than a few bangs…it’s safe for her to open up to that guy because he won’t judge her and he won’t be around long enough for any confessions she makes to have any impact on her “real” life.

But a guy’s gotta’ experience this first-hand to really believe it.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 4:33 pm
Original Link

@Latin Buddha

“I don’t know. It seems like a tall order. Even if she were attracted to him after he shifted his thinking, I would imagine the last person you’d want to invest all that hard work and results on was the girl who didn’t initially truly want you.”

Oh I agree. I don’t think he can salvage things. But his options are basically 1) leave, and lose half his shit and possibly custody of his kid (who may or may not be his kid) in divorce (and have to pay child support without getting to even see his kid), 2) stay with her and try to get her attracted and see if he can still bang her without wanting to barf, or 3) open marriage and bang other women.

MMSL will help him head towards both 2 and 3…ie – the things he does that attract his wife will also attract other women, so then an open relationship isn’t SO bad. But doing an open relationship now, when he’s 7 years into being unattractive to even his wife, he’s not going to go out and slay a bunch of poon…he’s going to listen to his wife gang-banging more guys and they’ll ask him to hold the videocamera.

I’m not saying he has to forgive her or anything, and I don’t think he COULD ever fuck her again without thinking all those things you listed. But realistically his options are all pretty bleak. MMSL has the highest payoff and most versatility, in terms of where his life will be 5 years from now.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 4:36 pm
Original Link

@Stingray

“I was surprised at the number of men who were trying to shame this guy (not that he was there to read it). Many said how he should just let it go. The past is in the past. That lots of people do stuff like this, etc, etc.”

That’s an easy one. I’d bet most of those guys have either had similar things happen to them, or their buddies, and been just as powerless to fight it. They want him to suck it up because that’s what they did, and it doesn’t seem as weak that they haven’t had sex in a year if they know other guys are in the same boat.

I think the biggest boon to the red pill has been the Internet giving men a place to compare stories and go “YOU haven’t had sex in your relationship in a year EITHER?? I thought it was just me!!” and realizing they aren’t alone since in public everyone always acts like everything’s okay.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 4:56 pm
Original Link

@Stingray

“Supposing for a second that she could actually do this for him (and I think the chances are slim that she could), I don’t see him getting over this, ever. I’m not a man, though. How many men could really get over this kind of betrayal?”

Yep. All the “make her your slave! Now you have control of her!!” from the angry guys doesn’t actually solve his problem. He doesn’t WANT that stuff, and even if he got it he would just be heading down a path where his whole life and marriage is based around resentment and hatred for his wife. He just wants to un-know the stuff he knows, and have her want him in that way…but we know that can’t happen. He might get a little therapeutic revenge at treating her like shit for a bit, but it won’t do any good for his psyche long-term.

@Tin Man

“The red pill was forced down his throat, he didn’t take it willingly. The forum at NMMNG and MMSL are filled with these stories. Not for the faint of heart. And it should be required reading before any Man decides to get married.”

Agreed.

Acceptance VS Depression when you swallow the red pill:

http://yareallyarchive.com/2012/9/#comment-heartiste-367897

@Stingray

“I’m picturing these women never changing and just relaxing back into their role as prude wife and holding their husbands forgiveness over their heads as just another link in the chain.”

Why would they change? Look at it from her perspective: He won’t leave her and she gets some drama excitement for a while. If he does leave her, she gets half his money and probably keeps their kid, as well as getting pats on the back from friends/family for leaving his judgemental “probably emotionally abusive and unable to sexually satisfy her” (as they’ll paint him) ass, as well as pats on the back from the white knights and feminists of society, and no one will ever dare judge her for it.

Feminism has basically removed all consequences for women…so why WOULD they change? They don’t have to, and are actively encouraged NOT to.

So again I say, don’t get married. Don’t cripple your ability to leave the situation. It’s a very cleverly designed trap that helps remove the ability to enforce consequences…it’s giving someone else entirely too much power over you.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 5:29 pm
Original Link

@Latin Buddha
“It MAY be worth getting a fresh start even she keeps half. Maybe for his long-term well being or as part of his road to recovery.”

Agreed, if it weren’t for his kid. Men generally aren’t favored in the courts when it comes to getting custody of their kid, and men generally don’t have any support (whereas all of her friends and family will come out of the woodwork to claim that they just KNEW he was abusing her and their child and she should get the kid etc.). So instigating a divorce has a high % chance of losing access to his kid (but not losing the requirement to pay child support that he knows she probably won’t even use for the kid).

I’m sure he can walk away from his wife, and we’d all encourage that. But even as cold and dead inside as I am, I can’t in good conscience recommend walking away from his kid. He got into a situation, now he has to deal with it.

@earl
“Being a gangbanged slut still has grave consequences…even the most blue pill mangina of man would have a hard time being ok with this.”

What consequences? Even if he leaves her, she and most of society will paint her as the victim and a thousand lame white knight men will line up to happily take his place.

@findOut
“I think that all men should ask their wives if they’re willing to take a lie detector test about all the men that they’ve slept with and what they’ve been willing to do.”

lol even if this silly insecure scenario could be enforced, the hamster in women is strong enough to really convince her that that BJ she gave on vacation to the cabana boy “didn’t count”. She’d pass a lie detector just fine because she legitimately doesn’t view it as wrong, until she gets caught and there are consequences.

Better to learn to be non-judgemental so she’s willing to be more open about her history.

@Tank
“So why not go the other direction and fuck her exactly the way he wants to fuck her.”

Because the way he wants to fuck her is wanting her to WANT to fuck him. It’s not that she doesn’t give him BJs that’s his issue, he was doing just fine until he found the tape, it’s that she happily gave BJs to other men and doesn’t WANT to give him BJs that’s his issue.

@Rollo
“This guy’s real issue is accepting the reality that any future sex he ever has with this woman will be an act of obligation motivated by fear of loss, not genuine desire.”

Yep. I’d imagine there’s also a lot of self-loathing in there, in terms of “how could I not have seen it? how could I have fallen for this for 7 years??” Sooooo many issues.

Prostitutes will get his dick wet with less baggage than fucking his wife, but they won’t restore the sense of manhood he just lost, which is ultimately the real issue…the sex is just an external thing, it’s not even really important compared to the internal damage he’ll have to repair.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 5:42 pm
Original Link

@earl

“She wants an alpha to bang her…not some lame white knight to supplicate her victomhood.”

She’ll get an alpha to bang her…once she secures one of these lame white knights to take care of her. What would stop her from fucking alphas on the side?

“even with getting half of the funds, the victomhood, and the kid…she could still wind up all alone. That is a fate worse than death for a lot of women.”

lol. She very clearly has no problem/conscience with regards to using a beta guy for his money. She’ll have no problem doing it again with another one. The ones who end up alone are the ones who “don’t need a man to take care of me”. Long as she hits the gym and stays fuckable looking, there are plenty of men who will line up to take care of her.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 6:02 pm
Original Link

@Jeremy
“Me: Stop fucking acting like it’s a one time thing. Be honest with me how many guys did you fuck before me. How many guys dicks have you sucked, and how many guys have you let fuck you in the ass.

She: why does it matter, I said I’ll do them with you…

She NEVER ANSWERED IT… lol. Best example of women instinctively realizing what N count means to a man I’ve ever seen.”

lol this is an example of asking in a judgemental way. And what happens? Obviously, she won’t actually answer and will try to lie. That’s why the way I ask and the vibe I put out gets generally truthful answers, but a guy like this (and even if the guys aren’t saying these exact words, this is often how their question comes across) doesn’t.

The thing a woman fears most is judgement. Remove that, and she’ll share all sorts of fucked up shit with you. That chick would tell a guy like Russell Brand her whole sexual history, and proudly.

@Stingray
lol Tyler has a good story about making out with a girl in front of her boyfriend, and when the boyfriend is like “wtf did you just kiss him?!” they both just go “no, it didn’t happen. We were just talking.” And even tho the guy SAW them making out, it would be too shattering to his reality to accept that, so he convinces himself that it didn’t happen, just like they said. It’s scary, and fascinating.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 6:25 pm
Original Link

“If this woman’s N count was just one guy, but that guy took her in the ass, gave her facials and basically received enthusiastic porn-star sexual services she genuinely desired to engage in with him, yet wouldn’t give her husband of 7 years so much as a perfunctory blow job, does it really matter if she had gang bangs or 20 men before him? The result is still the same.”

This. Well said. Like I say, it’s not WHAT she did that’s blown the guy’s mind, it’s that she wouldn’t do it with HIM. That’s why “now you can do her in the ass however you want” doesn’t help him…it’s not the act itself that he wants, it’s her viewing him as sexworthy and WANTING to do that act with him, that he wants. That’s not something he can force or logically convince her into, that’s something that at best he can trigger her hypergamy to want, but even then he’ll doubt it in the back of his mind.

If it weren’t for his daughter, I would say cut all ties and run because he won’t be able to salvage this. But to avoid breaking up his daughter’s home life, it’s worth trying MMSL to, far down the road, possibly get his wife’s attracted to him (but even then he’ll doubt it and have to decide if he even WANTS her attraction anymore), and/or build in himself the ability/skill-set to get other women and have an open marriage where he can feel like a man again because other women want him.

To me, hiring prostitutes just reinforces “no woman would want me unless I pay them, I am unattractive and a failure as a man”. VS learning to actually flirt with a cute waitress who ends up wanting to bang him…that’s the kind of shit that could revive his shattered soul.


YaReally
on December 3rd, 2013 at 11:43 pm
Original Link

@Shaman
I find it fascinating that your porn interests warped over time to essentially reflect what your brain perceives as “this is the limit to what I can expect from my sex life” in your reality. I wonder if single guys watch freakier and a wider variety of porn with a wider variety of girls in them than incel marriage guys…and if “reality porn” with average/plain girls tends to be viewed more by guys without game who’s brains tell them that an average looking semi-chubby normal chick is the limit of what they can expect from their sex life. Thanks for sharing.

Also ideally this guy follows your lead. You’re essentially executing MMSL. Unfortunately I think this guy got rocked so hard with such a brutal 7-year betrayal (it had to be a huge “dirty little whore” gang-bang and not even just a BJ video with one guy or something) that I don’t know if he’d be able to execute shit as solid as you have since in the back of his head he’s still pining for “how I wish it was, I’m a victim” VS accepting “this is how it is, now let’s fix it”.

@Tin Man
“Then once married, when we thought we could relax, the shit really hit the fan.”

This is one of the hardest things to swallow about the red pill. I don’t remember which article, but I remember Rollo talking about how men just want somewhere they can relax…but then it turns out that we were fed the lie that once we have a girl who loves us, we can relax with her, and it’s encouraged that we do…except no one told us the truth: that she’ll lose attraction for us.

The Game doesn’t end. That’s why it’s all the more important for guys to learn and internalize this shit when they’re young, so by the time they settle down they do most of it on instinct.


YaReally
on December 4th, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Original Link

@Matt

“Beautiful — and even average — people do not have to deprave themselves to get sexual satisfaction,”

Lololol oh Matt…every post you make contains at least one little nugget of joy that lets everyone know you’ve never actually had sex or kept a woman.

Sorry guys, average to beautiful women do NOT like depraved fucking. Light romantic candles and call her a goddess, that’s what they really want.

How’s your collection of cuckold porn, Matt? lol


YaReally
on December 4th, 2013 at 4:09 pm
Original Link

Also this particular story reads as a hoax, but it doesn’t matter. It’s a good teaching opportunity because a lot of men have been through very similar experiences, or have friends who have, or are on their way toward it right now.

Hell my buddies and I alone can vouch for getting way better/kinkier sex from girls than their boyfriends/husbands get from them lol this is a legitimate thing that red pill men should study and keep in mind…ESPECIALLY before marriage/kids (also don’t get married lol)


YaReally
on December 4th, 2013 at 6:32 pm
Original Link

“At age 50+, I might be an old guy, but in the general population i.e., outside of internet apocrypha, not a whole of women are seriously into engaging in threesomes”

You’d be surprised. This ain’t the 50s with a scandalous kiss snuck between shy virgins at the school sock hop anymore.


YaReally
on December 5th, 2013 at 12:42 am
Original Link

@Dr. Jeremy
“Actually, taken to the extreme it disempowers all men from making any advances, even the top ones. It would make all men have to wait to be enthusiastically chosen, or else face heavy consequences for being “wrong”.”

No, because women instinctively know what alphas know: that rules don’t apply to alphas. Alphas will continue to break the rules because of their sense of entitlement that they EXPECT to be allowed to break the rules, and breaking those rules will help women determine which men are alphas, and attract them. Women know that even if there was some legal law against looking at a woman, they would only enforce it with betas…with alphas they would say “oh no, it’s okay this time because–” The alphas simply wouldn’t fear the heavy consequences because they know they’re high-value.

In an ideal world for women, they hold all the power and all the choice and are allowed to make exceptions for whoever they want for whatever reasons they want. Check out the Jezebel article on that “men & women think differently” brain-scan thing. The Jezzie takeaway from that was “women are leaders who can change the world and should be in high-up positions, and men are grunts who are only good for doing menial tasks” instead of “women yap, men get shit done” lol In the sexual marketplace, women want complete control over which men approach them and which men go back to their cave.

That’s why they hate game. Because PUAs figured out how to mimic those exceptions close enough that women can’t tell the difference, and over time “fake it till you make it” kicks in and guys who should’ve been weeded out of the sexual marketplace end up dominating it. So when a woman thinks of a learned alpha like a PUA, she doesn’t think “cool natural fun sexual high-value guy”, she looks at the neckbearded virgin loser beside her and thinks “fuck, I could end up attracted to THAT guy…I have to tell him to quit being a jerk and ignore that game stuff and tell him PUA doesn’t work and they’re all virgins and he should just be himself…’cause good god, what if he bettered himself and then I fucked him??”


YaReally
on December 5th, 2013 at 3:30 am
Original Link

@King <3

"My point was, the higher a girl’s sexual market value the less slutty/depraved she has to act to gain the same sexual attention."

The part you don't get is that they WANT to act like that. They just can't, because society will judge them and they don't want to scare off their long-term significant others. But they WANT to do that shit. A lot of them. Even the high-SMV women. You would know that if you fucked or even associated with them outside of your fantasy land. They want it the same way you want to be the girl in that college gangbang video.

"Oh for fucksake. This is how deluded you imagine your critics are? That they don’t notice what decade they are in?"

No, I'm sure he's completely aware of what the calendar says. But I've said before and I'll say again: if you aren't out there routinely gaming, picking up, and banging <25yo's, you simply aren't in a place where you can make statements along the lines of "girls aren't really like that, that only happens in porn". Like it's not a matter of this guy is a lesser human being or anything, it's a matter of not having the recent relevant experience to make judgements on the current culture.

If someone who learned to use computers in the 70s and then stopped using computers 20 years ago, stated stuff like "I might be old, but computers don't really work that way", I would say the same thing. Things have changed, and if you're not in the thick of it, your opinion is out-dated. This shouldn't be something that I have to explain, but I know you just like to niggle at details like a chick instead of addressing the points I'm making.

This is the same reason why I point out that you don't go out. Your experience isn't relevant, because you don't have any. You just theorize from your arm-chair, so by default your opinions should be viewed as dubious at BEST.

Now maybe this 50+ dude is out slaying 22yo poon every week, I don't know, but I doubt it lol The guys that are, know that 3-somes really aren't that big a deal to girls these days and a lot of them are into or at least curious about them and up for it if you set the logistics up in a judgement-free environment.