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Jerkboy Charisma Chat Game

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darkhorse
on November 29, 2013 at 5:18 pm
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Conclusion on making text communication more sexual:

The five examples I gave earlier were all applications used on girls pulled via one-on-one cold approaches. The examples show how sexualizing your texts/communication is an important component of game.
While not a magic bullet for every case, sexualizing text can be an effective way to move a relationship toward a bang.

The basic thing to understand is, that If a girl is actually attracted to you, then sexualizing your texts makes communication a lot more interesting than ho-hum, “how as your day” texts, or “I’m so charming/smooth/cool” banter that is more like to move the interaction sideways than toward the bedroom.
The implication here, is that the girl already has to like you somewhat for the sexual text to be impactful. If she’s not attracted to you already your texts are just going to be viewed as pervy.

Some things to look for:

Tone:
Be playful, don’t be crude (unless it escalates to that point and she’s asking for you to be crude.). You’ll probably ruin the shot at the lay if you’re too vulgar on the offset.

Responsiveness:
You’re likely to see an uptick in responsiveness, with reply backs often happening a minute after your get into a rhythm of playful sexual texts. If you’re getting no response, consider it a sign and realized that she probably has no sexual attraction to you. Also, don’t hammer away with multiple sexual texts if. It’s pervy and you don’t want to harass the poor girl if she doesn’t like you.

Rebuffing and Qualification:
It’s a good sign if the girl inquisitively responds, playing dumb. Girls are socialized to be coy, so even if she’s attracted to you, expect her to rebuff sexualized texts and ask you to qualify them. “oh really? / you must have the wrong girl / aren’t you in a relationship / etc.” This is often a test to see how shameless you really are, and if you have the confidence to follow through on your declaration. She may repeat this stance repeatedly to test if you are actually standing by your words or if you are going to wimp out.

Logistics:
After establishing some sexual rhythm, and realizing you’re confident with yourself as a sexual being, she’s likely accept your offer meet up, or even propose a place to meet (see example number one above). A lot of times these plans will be logistical minefields, because the girl wants to bang but doesn’t want to be a labeled a slut, so the logistics she proposes express the emotionally polarity. You can see that pattern played out in two of the emails above. Here’s another example: I remember once telling a girl to meet me at a club and the dress code was no panties. She said no way, I said ok, then she texted me days later asking me to meet up at a bar with her girlfriend. I told her no. Then she got furious and accused me of hating women. She was really pissed because I hadn’t sorted out the logistics for her, which really is your job as a man. You have to be really sensitive with the logistics and present the girl with an alternative option to hers otherwise she’ll squawk at you for screwing everything up and it will be game over.


  • YaReally
    on November 30, 2013 at 2:19 pm
    Original Link

    My name is YaReally and I approve this message.

    Solid txt examples, good stuff. More notes:

    Also once you’ve solidified plans to meet up, turn the sexuality off to avoid triggering ASD. She can masturbate to your sexting for weeks and love it when there’s no actual plan to meet up, but once it’s established that you’ll be meeting up in person (obviously for sex), that same sexual texting will often trigger her ASD because now shit is “real” and then she flakes because she feels slutty going to meet up with you…so pull back and go asexual friend zone once the meet is set. Then in person greet her sexually (pull her in for a quick light kiss like “god you look good, come here” etc.) and set the tone. You CAN go full sexual right to the end, I’ve done it now and then, but turning it off once the meet is set is a MUCH higher % play.

    A lot of sexual shit is about pushing her boundaries slightly out of her comfort zone, doing a little dance there to show that you’re comfortable with it, then backing off to show that you’re not a desperate horn-dog, you can back off because you know you’ll both be across that boundary again later.

    Also a big part of it, as you saw, is owning your words and not apologizing for being sexual.

    She wakes up to a dozen “good morning!” “hope you have a good day! let me know if you want me to buy you lunch!” txts from orbiter chodes every day. Are any of those txts going to be her top priority to respond to, or is her top priority going to be the one that says “you must be tired, I saw you outside my bedroom window all night. perv.”

    Also you don’t have to be directly sexual about HER (tho that helps), but more important is just being sexual in general. Like making sexual jokes, innuendo, talking about sexual topics, VS “I want to bang YOU, specifically” Esp with the hotter girls. Mystery’s advice was “you can’t choose a ten, a ten chooses YOU”, so you demonstrate being comfortable with sex and she chooses you because you’re cool about it. This is the vibe guys like Russell Brand and rockstars have.


    • darkhorse
      on December 2, 2013 at 7:59 am
      Original Link

      pretty interesting stuff.

      literally three of the five girls texting said exactly the same thing: “you must have the wrong girl.”

      question, YaReally, if you say something raw and you own it…is it good to back off texting for a little bit? how do you play things?


      • YaReally
        on December 9, 2013 at 1:31 am
        Original Link

        @darkhorse

        “if you say something raw and you own it…is it good to back off texting for a little bit? how do you play things?”

        I change the subject to something less raw/sexual. So like:

        “oh and just what are we going to DO at your place?”

        “well I was going to pin you up against the wall, (insert a big description of a super hot sexual makeout here, I don’t wanna type one out in this post lol)”

        “omg u did not just say that”

        “or, you know, we could watch a movie on opposite sides of the couch from eachother with a bunch of pillows between us.”

        Like push/pull…the pull is the raw sexual thing, then you own it instead of apologizing for it, but you push her away with something inoffensive or changing the subject entirely or the opposite of the sexual thing.

        Another example would be something like:

        “i’m not that kind of girl” (playfully)

        “that’s not what the wall in the men’s room says. (her: OMG!!!!) I should know, I’m the one who wrote it (her: lololol)”

        If she responds WELL to the raw stuff, then you keep going with it (slowly, don’t be a horn-dog jumping at it lol, just be a cool sexual guy) or back off a bit but keep it in that general zone from there and build some sexual comfort/rapport.

        But ya, in general I like to back off, unless it’s looking like I can escalate to a sexting convo of some sort lol



Jerkboy Charisma Chat Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

darkhorse
on November 29, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Original Link

Conclusion on making text communication more sexual:

The five examples I gave earlier were all applications used on girls pulled via one-on-one cold approaches. The examples show how sexualizing your texts/communication is an important component of game.
While not a magic bullet for every case, sexualizing text can be an effective way to move a relationship toward a bang.

The basic thing to understand is, that If a girl is actually attracted to you, then sexualizing your texts makes communication a lot more interesting than ho-hum, “how as your day” texts, or “I’m so charming/smooth/cool” banter that is more like to move the interaction sideways than toward the bedroom.
The implication here, is that the girl already has to like you somewhat for the sexual text to be impactful. If she’s not attracted to you already your texts are just going to be viewed as pervy.

Some things to look for:

Tone:
Be playful, don’t be crude (unless it escalates to that point and she’s asking for you to be crude.). You’ll probably ruin the shot at the lay if you’re too vulgar on the offset.

Responsiveness:
You’re likely to see an uptick in responsiveness, with reply backs often happening a minute after your get into a rhythm of playful sexual texts. If you’re getting no response, consider it a sign and realized that she probably has no sexual attraction to you. Also, don’t hammer away with multiple sexual texts if. It’s pervy and you don’t want to harass the poor girl if she doesn’t like you.

Rebuffing and Qualification:
It’s a good sign if the girl inquisitively responds, playing dumb. Girls are socialized to be coy, so even if she’s attracted to you, expect her to rebuff sexualized texts and ask you to qualify them. “oh really? / you must have the wrong girl / aren’t you in a relationship / etc.” This is often a test to see how shameless you really are, and if you have the confidence to follow through on your declaration. She may repeat this stance repeatedly to test if you are actually standing by your words or if you are going to wimp out.

Logistics:
After establishing some sexual rhythm, and realizing you’re confident with yourself as a sexual being, she’s likely accept your offer meet up, or even propose a place to meet (see example number one above). A lot of times these plans will be logistical minefields, because the girl wants to bang but doesn’t want to be a labeled a slut, so the logistics she proposes express the emotionally polarity. You can see that pattern played out in two of the emails above. Here’s another example: I remember once telling a girl to meet me at a club and the dress code was no panties. She said no way, I said ok, then she texted me days later asking me to meet up at a bar with her girlfriend. I told her no. Then she got furious and accused me of hating women. She was really pissed because I hadn’t sorted out the logistics for her, which really is your job as a man. You have to be really sensitive with the logistics and present the girl with an alternative option to hers otherwise she’ll squawk at you for screwing everything up and it will be game over.


  • YaReally
    on November 30, 2013 at 2:19 pm
    Original Link

    My name is YaReally and I approve this message.

    Solid txt examples, good stuff. More notes:

    Also once you’ve solidified plans to meet up, turn the sexuality off to avoid triggering ASD. She can masturbate to your sexting for weeks and love it when there’s no actual plan to meet up, but once it’s established that you’ll be meeting up in person (obviously for sex), that same sexual texting will often trigger her ASD because now shit is “real” and then she flakes because she feels slutty going to meet up with you…so pull back and go asexual friend zone once the meet is set. Then in person greet her sexually (pull her in for a quick light kiss like “god you look good, come here” etc.) and set the tone. You CAN go full sexual right to the end, I’ve done it now and then, but turning it off once the meet is set is a MUCH higher % play.

    A lot of sexual shit is about pushing her boundaries slightly out of her comfort zone, doing a little dance there to show that you’re comfortable with it, then backing off to show that you’re not a desperate horn-dog, you can back off because you know you’ll both be across that boundary again later.

    Also a big part of it, as you saw, is owning your words and not apologizing for being sexual.

    She wakes up to a dozen “good morning!” “hope you have a good day! let me know if you want me to buy you lunch!” txts from orbiter chodes every day. Are any of those txts going to be her top priority to respond to, or is her top priority going to be the one that says “you must be tired, I saw you outside my bedroom window all night. perv.”

    Also you don’t have to be directly sexual about HER (tho that helps), but more important is just being sexual in general. Like making sexual jokes, innuendo, talking about sexual topics, VS “I want to bang YOU, specifically” Esp with the hotter girls. Mystery’s advice was “you can’t choose a ten, a ten chooses YOU”, so you demonstrate being comfortable with sex and she chooses you because you’re cool about it. This is the vibe guys like Russell Brand and rockstars have.


    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2013 at 1:31 am
      Original Link

      @darkhorse

      “if you say something raw and you own it…is it good to back off texting for a little bit? how do you play things?”

      I change the subject to something less raw/sexual. So like:

      “oh and just what are we going to DO at your place?”

      “well I was going to pin you up against the wall, (insert a big description of a super hot sexual makeout here, I don’t wanna type one out in this post lol)”

      “omg u did not just say that”

      “or, you know, we could watch a movie on opposite sides of the couch from eachother with a bunch of pillows between us.”

      Like push/pull…the pull is the raw sexual thing, then you own it instead of apologizing for it, but you push her away with something inoffensive or changing the subject entirely or the opposite of the sexual thing.

      Another example would be something like:

      “i’m not that kind of girl” (playfully)

      “that’s not what the wall in the men’s room says. (her: OMG!!!!) I should know, I’m the one who wrote it (her: lololol)”

      If she responds WELL to the raw stuff, then you keep going with it (slowly, don’t be a horn-dog jumping at it lol, just be a cool sexual guy) or back off a bit but keep it in that general zone from there and build some sexual comfort/rapport.

      But ya, in general I like to back off, unless it’s looking like I can escalate to a sexting convo of some sort lol



The Types Of Men Who Befriend Girls Easily

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pulsotic
on November 26, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Original Link

Now how many commenters are going to claim to be a ‘latent lover’. Let’s get the counter goin


  • YaReally
    on November 26, 2013 at 4:46 pm
    Original Link

    lol he might as well have just titled that one “1. The Matthew King”.

    in b4 King’s 10-page comparison of how I am an insufferable little swine because I’m not trying to fuck the girls in his eHarem here lol



The Types Of Men Who Befriend Girls Easily

Original Link

via Heartiste

pulsotic
on November 26, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Original Link

Now how many commenters are going to claim to be a ‘latent lover’. Let’s get the counter goin


  • YaReally
    on November 26, 2013 at 4:46 pm
    Original Link

    lol he might as well have just titled that one “1. The Matthew King”.

    in b4 King’s 10-page comparison of how I am an insufferable little swine because I’m not trying to fuck the girls in his eHarem here lol



Your Daily Game, Condensed

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Patrice
on November 25, 2013 at 12:57 pm
Original Link

- If you go out a lot, you will have make-outs. Fresh breath extends sessions. Tip: chew mint leaves on your way out the door.

What about Bad Breath Game? Before you kiss her you openly, confidently, and indifferently wonder if your breath smells just in case it kind of does (even though it never should).

It signals to her that you don’t give a fuck, and I’ve seen alphas with sketchy hygiene keep hot women who supposedly value “good hygiene”.


  • toby
    on November 25, 2013 at 2:59 pm
    Original Link

    i kind of agree with this. a minty mouth means “i have been thinking of kissing you and have planned ahead.” a non-foul, neutral mouth is not a hard thing to maintain.


    • Patrice
      on November 25, 2013 at 8:09 pm
      Original Link

      A clean minty mouth can be beta. A neutral or even admittedly bad mouth with an IDGAF attitude is alpha.

      Same reason why dutch ovens are more alpha than never farting in front your chick.

      I’ve seen alphas with semi-chronic BO have hot uber-hygienic girlfriends.



Your Daily Game, Condensed

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 25, 2013 at 12:57 pm
Original Link

- If you go out a lot, you will have make-outs. Fresh breath extends sessions. Tip: chew mint leaves on your way out the door.

What about Bad Breath Game? Before you kiss her you openly, confidently, and indifferently wonder if your breath smells just in case it kind of does (even though it never should).

It signals to her that you don’t give a fuck, and I’ve seen alphas with sketchy hygiene keep hot women who supposedly value “good hygiene”.


  • toby
    on November 25, 2013 at 2:59 pm
    Original Link

    i kind of agree with this. a minty mouth means “i have been thinking of kissing you and have planned ahead.” a non-foul, neutral mouth is not a hard thing to maintain.



Your Daily Game, Condensed

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 25, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Original Link

Can anyone recommend any good PUA books for guys who go out alone?

I’m reading Mystery Method and so far his methods seem to involve the help of a wingman or a group of friends.

You can’t create false time restraints (for example: i can only stay a sec my friends are waiting) if you’re at the club by yourself.


  • immoralgables
    on November 25, 2013 at 10:36 pm
    Original Link

    Credit to YaReally:

    Ya, RSD’s video articles are great, specifically Tyler’s. Watch his
    whole archive of videos for a bunch of great stuff. His work is pretty
    much head of the pack in terms of progressing pickup as an art-form.

    Same time though, I got into the community in the old-school heavy
    tactics days and I think having a grounding in the old-school stuff
    underneath all the new “be shapeless like water” stuff helps a lot.
    Mystery Method was solid gold, but it’s a looooong read/watch. If you
    can handle that, great, but if not then I’d recommend LoveSystem’s
    “Magic Bullets” which is like a really condensed “only the important
    stuff” version of MM.

    Paul Janka’s “How to get laid in New York” is a good read (free PDF
    file) just to get a different perspective (he’s a natural and he does
    day-game in a really busy fast-paced city, he has some interesting
    takes on how he games).

    If you Google you can find “The Tyler Digest”, but I’d actually
    recommend this one instead or as well:

    http://www.dallaspua.com/files/mystery_method_collaboration_11.08.06.pdf


    • darkhorse
      on November 26, 2013 at 8:21 am
      Original Link

      I wouldn’t call Janka a natural at all. From the videos I’ve seen of him, his vibe is borderline autistic. He’s a numbers guy who relies on looks and became conscious enough not to fall into beta traps.

      Guess it depends on how you define natural. For me it’s someone who is socially “together”, and never had any anxiety approaching women. Who gets laid through natural charm and rapport, and isn’t ashamed of it.

      Janka appears contrived in his interactions. I think the fact that you see him only pulling 6s and max a 7 is consequence of this.

      If Tyler was able to innately socialize like he does now, without have to learn his skill set, that’s what “natural” looks like.


      • YaReallyPua
        on November 26, 2013 at 2:23 pm
        Original Link

        I just mean that he wasn’t a “community guy” like the rest of us learning from Mystery/Style/Tyler/etc., he figured his style of game out on his own.

        I agree that he’s a robot and not a guy I’d want to go get a drink with, but some guys would find value in his perspective on pickup and daygame in a busy city (his “movie trailer” concept is solid for running short-sets like during subway/bus travel) and less-traditional strategies (he daygames during the week and arranges his dates on the weekends, VS going to the bars to compete against other guys at the bars on the weekends).

        His “How to get laid in New York” is worth a read.


  • YaReally
    on November 26, 2013 at 10:35 am
    Original Link

    “You can’t create false time restraints (for example: i can only stay a sec my friends are waiting) if you’re at the club by yourself.”

    Sure you can. :) If the set goes well and the chick is into you, you say “oh my friends left for another bar.” or “oh I’m actually here alone, I just didn’t want to sound creepy lol” or “oh I txted them that I met a cute chick and to head to the next bar without me”

    Or change it to “I can only stay a sec, I have to take a massive dump” lol. Don’t worry about the logic, once you get gaming and reach the “hook point”, they often forget you were supposed to leave because they WANT you to stay.

    If the set isn’t going great and you need to bail, say “well I’m going to go find my friends. Have a good night!” or “oh my friend just txted me asking where I am, I’d better go find her” and go to a different part of the bar that’s out of their line of sight…they have no idea that you don’t actually have friends over there and can’t see you so they’ll never know.

    If the room is an open concept so they can see you when you go to “find your friends”, just go across the room and pick the friendliest looking set and open them. No one has any idea that you don’t know them lol and THAT new set thinks your friends are the first set you were talking to. They don’t know that you just met them.

    Or open an easy friendly-looking set (even dudes, just comment about how hot the girls are tonight or ask how this place is later or talk about sports if you know anything about that shit (I don’t lol)…or a friendly looking mixed set (don’t even hit on their girl, say you have a girlfriend so you’re not a threat)…or a bachelorette party etc) when you first get there and say you’re waiting for your friends to show up and chill with them. They’re now your home base, and to everyone else in the bar those are your friends so you come back to hang with them in-between sets if you need to. No one knows (or cares) that you only just met then that night.

    Merge sets and introduce people you’ve just met to other people you’ve just met. Nobody knows or realizes that you’ve only just met everyone and are actually there solo cause the only thing crazier than being out by yourself and introducing complete strangers to eachother as if you’ve known them for years is ACCUSING someone of being out by themselves and introducing complete strangers to eachother as if they’ve know them for years. :)

    Go super early and tell people you’re waiting for friends to show up later…to anyone arriving after that, it looks like you’re already there with your friends and to this initial set when it fills up you say “I’m going to go find my friends” and go open more sets. They have no idea that you don’t know anyone is there.

    Or the reverse, go super late when it’s packed and no one can tell who knows who and you can get lost in the crowd and lose line of sight easily. You can just “go find your friends” and walk thru part of the crowd and open another set.

    Hell when I was starting out and had a lot of Approach Anxiety and was out alone, there were nights where I’d open a set, say “ok I have to go find my friends” and go to another room/floor of the bar out of line of sight and sit in a booth all by my lonesome, too petrified with AA to approach/open anyone, and then an hour or two later I’d get back to wandering around and bump into a girl from the set from downstairs and go “oh ya my friends are hammered so I came to find you” and game her lol

    If you go late and are stuck in line, start talking to whoever is in front and/or behind you in line…just make small-talk about “wow I’ve never been here this late is it always like this??” or “shit I’m gonna be sober by the time we get in there lol” etc. and when you walk into the venue now you have friends you can come back to as your “home base”.

    If you live in a city with a strip of bars, use “I have to go meet up with my friends at NameOfClub. You guys should come later, it’ll be awesome.” And do that with every set you open, at all the bars along the strip…then when you finally get to NameOfClub, there’s a good chance a couple of those sets you opened will be there and you introduce them to eachother and they’re your home-base.

    A few times when I was out solo, I would go to the end of a long line to get in and chat with whoever was around me, then as we got closer to the door I would say “oh my friends just txted, I gotta go meet up with them first” and just walk to the back of the line and line up again (ideally behind cute girls) and chat whoever is around me and I would do that like 6 times. Then on the last time I would just head into the bar with the last set I chatted up so when I got in it looked like I was with friends and there were 5 sets in there that knew me enough to say hi, which is enough for me to introduce them to the other sets and nobody knows I went there alone lol

    Think outside the box and get creative. You have more options than you realize. When you understand social dynamics and how people perceive reality, you can manipulate that perception and basically become Neo in the Matrix realizing there is no spoon and you can bend the rules that other people are trapped in. ;)

    I know you’re asking more in a general sense of like “how do I handle social proof and accomplishment intros and get isolation and lead her to my friends to introduce them etc etc”, but I expanded on this just to show you that a little creativity can overcome most of it. :)



Your Daily Game, Condensed

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 25, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Original Link

Can anyone recommend any good PUA books for guys who go out alone?

I’m reading Mystery Method and so far his methods seem to involve the help of a wingman or a group of friends.

You can’t create false time restraints (for example: i can only stay a sec my friends are waiting) if you’re at the club by yourself.


  • immoralgables
    on November 25, 2013 at 10:36 pm
    Original Link

    Credit to YaReally:

    Ya, RSD’s video articles are great, specifically Tyler’s. Watch his
    whole archive of videos for a bunch of great stuff. His work is pretty
    much head of the pack in terms of progressing pickup as an art-form.

    Same time though, I got into the community in the old-school heavy
    tactics days and I think having a grounding in the old-school stuff
    underneath all the new “be shapeless like water” stuff helps a lot.
    Mystery Method was solid gold, but it’s a looooong read/watch. If you
    can handle that, great, but if not then I’d recommend LoveSystem’s
    “Magic Bullets” which is like a really condensed “only the important
    stuff” version of MM.

    Paul Janka’s “How to get laid in New York” is a good read (free PDF
    file) just to get a different perspective (he’s a natural and he does
    day-game in a really busy fast-paced city, he has some interesting
    takes on how he games).

    If you Google you can find “The Tyler Digest”, but I’d actually
    recommend this one instead or as well:

    http://www.dallaspua.com/files/mystery_method_collaboration_11.08.06.pdf


    • YaReallyPua
      on November 26, 2013 at 2:23 pm
      Original Link

      I just mean that he wasn’t a “community guy” like the rest of us learning from Mystery/Style/Tyler/etc., he figured his style of game out on his own.

      I agree that he’s a robot and not a guy I’d want to go get a drink with, but some guys would find value in his perspective on pickup and daygame in a busy city (his “movie trailer” concept is solid for running short-sets like during subway/bus travel) and less-traditional strategies (he daygames during the week and arranges his dates on the weekends, VS going to the bars to compete against other guys at the bars on the weekends).

      His “How to get laid in New York” is worth a read.


  • YaReally
    on November 26, 2013 at 10:35 am
    Original Link

    “You can’t create false time restraints (for example: i can only stay a sec my friends are waiting) if you’re at the club by yourself.”

    Sure you can. :) If the set goes well and the chick is into you, you say “oh my friends left for another bar.” or “oh I’m actually here alone, I just didn’t want to sound creepy lol” or “oh I txted them that I met a cute chick and to head to the next bar without me”

    Or change it to “I can only stay a sec, I have to take a massive dump” lol. Don’t worry about the logic, once you get gaming and reach the “hook point”, they often forget you were supposed to leave because they WANT you to stay.

    If the set isn’t going great and you need to bail, say “well I’m going to go find my friends. Have a good night!” or “oh my friend just txted me asking where I am, I’d better go find her” and go to a different part of the bar that’s out of their line of sight…they have no idea that you don’t actually have friends over there and can’t see you so they’ll never know.

    If the room is an open concept so they can see you when you go to “find your friends”, just go across the room and pick the friendliest looking set and open them. No one has any idea that you don’t know them lol and THAT new set thinks your friends are the first set you were talking to. They don’t know that you just met them.

    Or open an easy friendly-looking set (even dudes, just comment about how hot the girls are tonight or ask how this place is later or talk about sports if you know anything about that shit (I don’t lol)…or a friendly looking mixed set (don’t even hit on their girl, say you have a girlfriend so you’re not a threat)…or a bachelorette party etc) when you first get there and say you’re waiting for your friends to show up and chill with them. They’re now your home base, and to everyone else in the bar those are your friends so you come back to hang with them in-between sets if you need to. No one knows (or cares) that you only just met then that night.

    Merge sets and introduce people you’ve just met to other people you’ve just met. Nobody knows or realizes that you’ve only just met everyone and are actually there solo cause the only thing crazier than being out by yourself and introducing complete strangers to eachother as if you’ve known them for years is ACCUSING someone of being out by themselves and introducing complete strangers to eachother as if they’ve know them for years. :)

    Go super early and tell people you’re waiting for friends to show up later…to anyone arriving after that, it looks like you’re already there with your friends and to this initial set when it fills up you say “I’m going to go find my friends” and go open more sets. They have no idea that you don’t know anyone is there.

    Or the reverse, go super late when it’s packed and no one can tell who knows who and you can get lost in the crowd and lose line of sight easily. You can just “go find your friends” and walk thru part of the crowd and open another set.

    Hell when I was starting out and had a lot of Approach Anxiety and was out alone, there were nights where I’d open a set, say “ok I have to go find my friends” and go to another room/floor of the bar out of line of sight and sit in a booth all by my lonesome, too petrified with AA to approach/open anyone, and then an hour or two later I’d get back to wandering around and bump into a girl from the set from downstairs and go “oh ya my friends are hammered so I came to find you” and game her lol

    If you go late and are stuck in line, start talking to whoever is in front and/or behind you in line…just make small-talk about “wow I’ve never been here this late is it always like this??” or “shit I’m gonna be sober by the time we get in there lol” etc. and when you walk into the venue now you have friends you can come back to as your “home base”.

    If you live in a city with a strip of bars, use “I have to go meet up with my friends at NameOfClub. You guys should come later, it’ll be awesome.” And do that with every set you open, at all the bars along the strip…then when you finally get to NameOfClub, there’s a good chance a couple of those sets you opened will be there and you introduce them to eachother and they’re your home-base.

    A few times when I was out solo, I would go to the end of a long line to get in and chat with whoever was around me, then as we got closer to the door I would say “oh my friends just txted, I gotta go meet up with them first” and just walk to the back of the line and line up again (ideally behind cute girls) and chat whoever is around me and I would do that like 6 times. Then on the last time I would just head into the bar with the last set I chatted up so when I got in it looked like I was with friends and there were 5 sets in there that knew me enough to say hi, which is enough for me to introduce them to the other sets and nobody knows I went there alone lol

    Think outside the box and get creative. You have more options than you realize. When you understand social dynamics and how people perceive reality, you can manipulate that perception and basically become Neo in the Matrix realizing there is no spoon and you can bend the rules that other people are trapped in. ;)

    I know you’re asking more in a general sense of like “how do I handle social proof and accomplishment intros and get isolation and lead her to my friends to introduce them etc etc”, but I expanded on this just to show you that a little creativity can overcome most of it. :)



Your Daily Game, Condensed

Original Link

via Heartiste

newly aloof
on November 26, 2013 at 12:40 pm
Original Link

CH and Ya, perhaps you can chime in on this. Was at a bar recently with a buddy. Upon leaving we see these two blonde 10s walk into the bar, at which point my buddy goes absolute bad shit at how bad-ass they were (they were, 6′, blonde, and curvy in all the right places, dressed to the Ts, wealthy looking) and how we should go back into the bar so he could try to pull. This got me thinking about what the absolute best daily game tactic would be to pull such women. One thing I thought about opening them would be something to the extent of (with a smirk on my face) “You ladies are somewhat hot, and I’m sure about 10 guys will approach you shortly offering to buy you a beer, so I was wondering if you could say yes to one of those desperate shlubs, tell him you want a (insert whatever drink is your favorite) and give it to me in return for me not trying to hit on you or buy you a drink.” When I open my mouth I’m sure they will expect me to offer them a drink, not talk about the social dynamic. Just a thought. I stuck to the 7-8 ladies in my hay days, so I’m all ears.


  • YaReally
    on November 26, 2013 at 4:39 pm
    Original Link

    Concept is solid, execution is flawed. You’re on the right track, I’ve used a similar “pointing out the room dynamics” thing before and hot girls appreciate that you understand their world/reality, but the wording just falls apart in places.

    Conceptually your version contains:

    - reversing expectations
    - breaking out of the buyer(you)/seller(her) dynamic
    - showing you’re unimpressed
    - AMOGing the rest of the bar
    - showing you understand social dynamics
    - compliance test
    - self-depreciation (aka not trying to impress them or seek their approval)

    In theory, it’s packed with game concepts that ARE appropriate for this situation, they’re just executed too long-winded (I’m a verbose guy, but I’m conscisely verbose lol) and some of them would probably fall flat because you don’t have value established yet or they’d come off try-hard because they’re too blatantly trying to ignore reality (ie – calling them “somewhat hot” is silly ’cause they know they’re hotter than most of the other girls in the room, unless you said it with a ton of sarcasm where you’re pretending not to be impressed in a way that tells them you ARE impressed on purpose, but that’s getting pretty meta lol)

    So something like “You girls look hot tonight, I figured I’d come say hi before 10 guys line up to buy you drinks. Although maybe I should’ve waited a bit, I’ll seem way more charming when you’re drunk.” gets a lot of the same concepts across (not offering them a drink, AMOGing the bar, showing you understand the dynamics of what being in a bar is like for them, self-depreciation, etc.)

    Or if you wanted to make an impact and come back to them later (short-set method) you could drop a “Shit, you girls did good tonight (as you look them up and down). I think half the guys in here got whiplash when you walked in from cranking their heads around. I’m on my way to the pisser but I’ll come fight my way thru the crowd of guys lined up to buy you drinks when I’m done.” If they don’t have guys lined up when you re-approach them, you can make fun and tell them they look intimidating.

    “Woah, sorry, you girls aren’t allowed to come in here. You look too good tonight, you’re going to crush the self-esteem of all these ugly girls when their boyfriends line up to buy you drinks.”

    Just riffing off the top of my head here. The key is just to separate yourself from the rest of the guys there, acknowledge that you know they’re hot (pretending they aren’t hot is try-hard because they KNOW they’re hotter than most of the girls there lol) but that their being smokin’ hot doesn’t throw you off your game or intimidate you, and show that you understand what their experience is like for them when they walk into a bar (shows you’re familiar with the world of a hot girl, which means you’ve probably been around hot girls a lot).

    If they ask you “Aren’t YOU going to buy us a drink?” you could drop something like “No, the other guys here will liquor you up. I just wanted to say hi before these guys get you hammered enough to barf all over the dance floor.”

    You’re not going to land them with one line, especially if they’ve only just arrived…so a witty opener is cool, but the follow-up is more important. You don’t choose a 10, a 10 chooses you, so after your opener you’re looking at having to demonstrate/establish high-value and get them chasing…unless you’re a celebrity with built in high-value, you’re going to have some work to do lol



Your Daily Game, Condensed

Original Link

via Heartiste

newly aloof
on November 26, 2013 at 12:40 pm
Original Link

CH and Ya, perhaps you can chime in on this. Was at a bar recently with a buddy. Upon leaving we see these two blonde 10s walk into the bar, at which point my buddy goes absolute bad shit at how bad-ass they were (they were, 6′, blonde, and curvy in all the right places, dressed to the Ts, wealthy looking) and how we should go back into the bar so he could try to pull. This got me thinking about what the absolute best daily game tactic would be to pull such women. One thing I thought about opening them would be something to the extent of (with a smirk on my face) “You ladies are somewhat hot, and I’m sure about 10 guys will approach you shortly offering to buy you a beer, so I was wondering if you could say yes to one of those desperate shlubs, tell him you want a (insert whatever drink is your favorite) and give it to me in return for me not trying to hit on you or buy you a drink.” When I open my mouth I’m sure they will expect me to offer them a drink, not talk about the social dynamic. Just a thought. I stuck to the 7-8 ladies in my hay days, so I’m all ears.


  • YaReally
    on November 26, 2013 at 4:39 pm
    Original Link

    Concept is solid, execution is flawed. You’re on the right track, I’ve used a similar “pointing out the room dynamics” thing before and hot girls appreciate that you understand their world/reality, but the wording just falls apart in places.

    Conceptually your version contains:

    – reversing expectations
    – breaking out of the buyer(you)/seller(her) dynamic
    – showing you’re unimpressed
    – AMOGing the rest of the bar
    – showing you understand social dynamics
    – compliance test
    – self-depreciation (aka not trying to impress them or seek their approval)

    In theory, it’s packed with game concepts that ARE appropriate for this situation, they’re just executed too long-winded (I’m a verbose guy, but I’m conscisely verbose lol) and some of them would probably fall flat because you don’t have value established yet or they’d come off try-hard because they’re too blatantly trying to ignore reality (ie – calling them “somewhat hot” is silly ’cause they know they’re hotter than most of the other girls in the room, unless you said it with a ton of sarcasm where you’re pretending not to be impressed in a way that tells them you ARE impressed on purpose, but that’s getting pretty meta lol)

    So something like “You girls look hot tonight, I figured I’d come say hi before 10 guys line up to buy you drinks. Although maybe I should’ve waited a bit, I’ll seem way more charming when you’re drunk.” gets a lot of the same concepts across (not offering them a drink, AMOGing the bar, showing you understand the dynamics of what being in a bar is like for them, self-depreciation, etc.)

    Or if you wanted to make an impact and come back to them later (short-set method) you could drop a “Shit, you girls did good tonight (as you look them up and down). I think half the guys in here got whiplash when you walked in from cranking their heads around. I’m on my way to the pisser but I’ll come fight my way thru the crowd of guys lined up to buy you drinks when I’m done.” If they don’t have guys lined up when you re-approach them, you can make fun and tell them they look intimidating.

    “Woah, sorry, you girls aren’t allowed to come in here. You look too good tonight, you’re going to crush the self-esteem of all these ugly girls when their boyfriends line up to buy you drinks.”

    Just riffing off the top of my head here. The key is just to separate yourself from the rest of the guys there, acknowledge that you know they’re hot (pretending they aren’t hot is try-hard because they KNOW they’re hotter than most of the girls there lol) but that their being smokin’ hot doesn’t throw you off your game or intimidate you, and show that you understand what their experience is like for them when they walk into a bar (shows you’re familiar with the world of a hot girl, which means you’ve probably been around hot girls a lot).

    If they ask you “Aren’t YOU going to buy us a drink?” you could drop something like “No, the other guys here will liquor you up. I just wanted to say hi before these guys get you hammered enough to barf all over the dance floor.”

    You’re not going to land them with one line, especially if they’ve only just arrived…so a witty opener is cool, but the follow-up is more important. You don’t choose a 10, a 10 chooses you, so after your opener you’re looking at having to demonstrate/establish high-value and get them chasing…unless you’re a celebrity with built in high-value, you’re going to have some work to do lol



The Female Preference For Badboys, Quantified

Original Link

via Heartiste

darkhorse
on November 22, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Original Link

@YaReally / CH

I took a high quality two-set home last night. Bouncers giving me respect as we left the club. That’s nice. Logistically though, things fizzled out when we got to my place. Looking for ways to improve the situation next time it happens.

1am enter top club in big metropolitan American city. Get a vibe going with two Europeans girls. Very sexy, mid-twenties. Very high-status in this environment. One is a stripper, the other works bottle service. Light chatting for 15 minutes, they can sense I can hang. They invite me to an abandoned bottle service booth.

There they start to make plans to eject from their group of a dozen girls. We’re going X place, do you want to join us? I tell them my place is nearby, tell them to join me first, they agree.

Pretty sure my first mistake was failure to escalate happened in this moment, when we were in “huddle formation” in the booth and they had selected me as a potential inseminator. IMHO taking the reigns and deciding where we were going next wasn’t enough leadership, at least sexual leadership. Probably better to have sat in between both (rather than to the side of one), and whispered in both their ears (rather than talk face to face). Basically be bold.

Cab ride in bottle service girl starts referencing her DD tits. I tease a bit, but not directly referencing her tits. Looking back dropped the ball. Could have escalated there.

Long story short, they arrive, the mood inside is dull. Roommate there with too chumpy girls = lowers status. I get music, lower the lights. They go cold. Lack of interest, muted contempt, they’ve already made plans to eject. (Didn’t even ask for numbers, just figure they demoted me to beta and text game would seem hard to believe.)

Pretty sure excitement level was too low. Definitely take responsibility for it. Been in similar situations, taking a two-set home, and fucking one in front of their friend, but on that occasion, had already escalated with that girl prior. So guessing the missing piece here was escalation: executing it at the club, in the cab, and immediately at my destination. Communicating through action: You selected me, I know what I’m doing, and I’m going to push your boundaries step-by-step, and I’m good at it.

Thinking something like leading them to body shots on arrival would have been the best call.

Tips on verbal and physical escalation welcome.


  • YaReally
    on November 22, 2013 at 2:59 pm
    Original Link

    @darkhorse

    You pretty much answered your own question. Just confirming your observations:

    “I tell them my place is nearby, tell them to join me first, they agree.”

    Solid.

    “IMHO taking the reigns and deciding where we were going next wasn’t enough leadership, at least sexual leadership. Probably better to have sat in between both (rather than to the side of one), and whispered in both their ears (rather than talk face to face). Basically be bold.”

    Yep. You were a cool guy, but you pulled them home without building any sexual attraction. Of course they’ll come see what your place/party is like because you’ve seemed cool/charming so far so who knows maybe you’re a celebrity.

    And if your home was a badass party enviro and they got there and it’s all swank looking and you have music going and booze and hot people having a blast and your roommate has game and macks on the one who’s not your target and you guys put them up on the kitchen table to do body-shots etc., they might stick around.

    But you brought them to a quiet apartment with quiet people and ugly girls and no music etc. to basically sip a drink lol

    And that’s fine, if you’ve got a bunch of sexual attraction with one (or both) of them and it’s already on…but if you still have “work to do”, that’s not an environment to do it in.

    “I get music, lower the lights.”

    By then it’s already too late. Unless you are Stifler levels of energy solo, the mood is already dead the second you walk in and flip on bright kitchen lights and have to dig the alcohol out and go turn on music etc.

    Think about it from the perspective of two smokin’ hot “bouncer-give-you-props” quality mid-20s chicks who work as a stripper and at bottle service.

    On a fri/sat night, from the time you met them to the time you gave them a shot at your place, they probably got at least a dozen txts from guys who are offering them epic crazy parties that night. Offering them the chance to meet super high-value dudes, or to hang out with their close friends etc. They’re getting offers from dudes for BOTH of them to get fucked that night…they’re two hot girls, one of them isn’t going to sit on the couch with your roommate watching TV while you bang her friend unless you are massively high-value and she’s a good friend, ’cause they can walk into any bar in the city and walk out with two dudes so they can both get laid.

    Now they’ll pass all that up to hang at your place and bang you…IF they’re sexually attracted before they get there. But if you’re just a dude offering a mediocre “party”, the second they walked thru the door they were already planning to bail…it turns to resentment because at that point you become the guy preventing them from going to their awesome party lol

    “Cab ride in bottle service girl starts referencing her DD tits. I tease a bit, but not directly referencing her tits. Looking back dropped the ball. Could have escalated there.”

    Yep. When she’s shooting something like that at you, ON THEIR WAY TO YOUR APARTMENT (lol, like, in a bar that might just be teasing you, but in a cab to your place that’s a “hey look, just so you know, I need to get fucked tonight”), and you basically demonstrate that you don’t have a penis, their brain switches to “fuck this is a waste of time, buuuut let’s keep going since we’re already on the way and who knows, maybe it’ll turn out that his apartment is a mansion and he’s actually a rich celebrity…but man, it better not be just some quiet boring apartment hangout…the rich guys we met at the club we work at are at this party waiting for us. God we’ll be mad if this is a total waste of time…”

    “(Didn’t even ask for numbers, just figure they demoted me to beta and text game would seem hard to believe.)”

    Ya, really no reason to. It’s super unlikely that they’d ever txt you back beyond trying to turn you into an Orbiter chode. But hey, they taught you a good lesson about escalation, so it’s not a total loss. It’s all learning experiences. :) You did good, you just didn’t move fast enough.

    “Pretty sure excitement level was too low.”

    To escalate to sex, you want to bring the energy down…but not halfway thru the night when they’ve ditched their party to go to another party with high-energy etc. AND you don’t have a sexual vibe with either of them. That’s bringing the energy down too soon and they aren’t done with their night yet.

    “Been in similar situations, taking a two-set home, and fucking one in front of their friend, but on that occasion, had already escalated with that girl prior. So guessing the missing piece here was escalation: executing it at the club, in the cab, and immediately at my destination.”

    Yep. Imagine you meet some random dude at the club and shoot the shit and get along well and you tell him you’re hitting the Playboy Mansion for a party in a bit and invite him and he’s like “nah, eff that man, you should come to my place.” You’re gonna assume “wow if he’s turning down the Playboy Mansion, he must have a bunch of smokin’ hotties at his place partying! I’m gonna’ check it out!” So you go along and you get there and he’s got like 10 super fat girls in a shitty basement party. You’re gonna’ be like “ffffffuuuuuu….” and bail ASAP and probably resent him.

    You didn’t promise these girls an epic party it doesn’t sound like, but they assume that in their minds because you were cool/social and the guys who normally invite them to shit invite them to crazy parties like the one they were heading to later.

    And again, allllll that would be okay IF you already had a lot of sexual attraction with one and it was basically guaranteed to be on for the lay…but without that, all that other shit comes into play.

    “Communicating through action: You selected me, I know what I’m doing, and I’m going to push your boundaries step-by-step, and I’m good at it.”

    Ya, it’s like when you have a fuckbuddy. If she txts you “hey” at 2am on a Saturday night, you go fuck her. She trusts you to understand she’s selected you, to know what you’re doing, and to push your boundaries and arrange judgement/guilt-free sex for the two of you. If you don’t fulfill your part of that unwritten deal, eventually you’ll lose her.

    “Thinking something like leading them to body shots on arrival would have been the best call.”

    Ya, but before that you should’ve been more physical. The tits thing in the cab was her last hail-mary at hoping you’d show you’re a clued in “secret society” guy.

    The highest % play in the booth would’ve been like you say, sitting between them, arms around them like it happens to you every day, and whispering in their ear etc. You may have been able to build enough sexual chemistry to neutralize your dull apartment vibe.

    The highest % play once they were in the cab would’ve been to escalate on the blonde and ask the girls if they’ve ever kissed eachother and gone for the 3-way makeout in the back of the cab (I’m sure the cabbie would approve lol) and, ideally, the 3-some at your place…by doing that, you may have created enough sexual chemistry to neutralize your dull appartment vibe.

    The highest % play once you were in the cab and she mentioned her tits and you didn’t escalate would have been to realize “ah shit, I missed the window, now we’re going to be heading to my dull place without enough sexual vibe” and said “you know what, fuck my place, let’s hit your party. I don’t know if I can trust you to know where I live yet, this one is clearly the stalking type. ;)

    Now you’d be going into unknown territory by going to their party (never go to where the girls suggest ’cause they always pick a place where they have 50 Orbiters) and may lose the girls if the party is a bunch of high-value sausage social circle competition, BUT that’s a higher % play than practically GUARANTEED losing the girls by bringing them home to a quiet apartment without enough sexual attraction…also the other party would contain the possibility of meeting more girls similar in looks to them (since hot people tend to have social circles of equally hot people) that you would work if these two ditched you, and you’d be rolling in with a bit of social proof (if they don’t run off immediately and ignore you all night for the guys they have crushes on there or whatever lol), or at the least maybe make some decent social connections…but ideally you could win over their group and keep stoking attraction with the titty one, and then at the end of the night extract her to your place, which would be fine if it’s low-energy because she’s done partying and you have enough sexual attraction by then for it to be on, and you probably left her friend at the party so you have one on one isolation.

    Good stuff either way, you were solid enough to get them into a cab to your place and you learned some lessons. Good on you for even TRYING to push dropping by your place lol


    • darkhorse
      on November 22, 2013 at 7:08 pm
      Original Link

      @yareally

      Tried posting a variation of this earlier but for some reason it didn’t get through. Curious what your take is.

      If you send an clear escalation text like “you want to bang me”, you’re likely to get a variety of responses based on the level of attraction that each girl has for you, and her readiness to submit.

      Here are five responses you might encounter…

      1) no response, radio silence
      2) “ok”
      2) “stop texting me”
      3) “you must have the wrong girl”
      4) “is this a joke, because it would be disrespectful otherwise”
      5) “I might…”

      My interpretations of the responses are…

      1) red light
      2) red light (amusement, not buying sexual frame)
      3) red light (disgust)
      3) green light (coyness), escalate
      4) green light (challenge confirmation), escalate, confirm you’re ok with being disrespectful. you “own” it, ok with bad boy style
      5) green light (affirmation), move to logistics


      • YaReally
        on November 23, 2013 at 9:52 am
        Original Link

        They’re all green lights to me. ;) …except 2. lol. And even then, 2 could probably be turned around.

        I’m not really joking either. To me, if she’s responding at all, it’s all good. Whatever she responds with, handling it is simply a matter of calibrating (ie – if she sounds receptive then you keep going or escalate, and if she sounds unreceptive then you pull back a bit, get her emotions going, and try escalating again).

        “If you send an clear escalation text like “you want to bang me”, you’re likely to get a variety of responses based on the level of attraction that each girl has for you, and her readiness to submit.”

        Ideally you don’t want to send a txt like that until you KNOW she’s going to respond with a green light. Like, you shouldn’t GET a red light, because you should be calibrated enough to escalate when she’s attracted, not just randomly throwing it out there and hoping it works.

        Like I don’t really get Last Minute Resistance…it’s been years since I can remember having to diffuse LMR. But that’s because I’m calibrated enough now to know when it’s “on” and that I’ve handled all the logistics and ASD and comfort and shit, so when I push for the lay the entire road is all green lights.

        To me, if I get a red light, that’s an indicator that I fucked up calibrating somewhere or missed something, and I look back to try to figure out what it was I was missing (did I not have enough comfort? did I make her feel too slutty? did her friends dislike me or AMOG me? etc.) so that next time I can tighten that bolt.


    • Anonymous
      on November 23, 2013 at 1:15 am
      Original Link

      @YaReally shit. this whole review makes total sense.

      The problem is when you’re in that situation at least from my perspective I’m too outcome dependent and it goes to shit.

      2 situations: I met cute girl online 2 months ago. This was while my ex gf thing was winding down into the morass it became, so i had another girl.

      I met this new one, gamed her, perfectly escalated, banged her, let her go. Reel and release. it was text book perfect.

      The common factor in all this is when i don’t care…i do great. I can’t lose.

      it’s like everything combines and women are lined up.

      Then ex gf reaches out with text or something and i panic: what if i answer? how will it look, what if i don’t???? omg omg omg…

      When i go silent i worry.

      But that silence is the SAME silence i’m employing with nude-selfie sender girl.

      The only difference is how I feel.

      So this situation you describe above is a great learning but nothing to really get down about.

      The dude brought 2 girls home… winning. Now he’s got the learnings to do it again better.

      It’s the dudes who CANT get that far who really need the help.

      This is fine-tuning inner game not reprogramming your entire approach to women.


      • YaReally
        on November 23, 2013 at 9:38 am
        Original Link

        “The common factor in all this is when i don’t care…i do great. I can’t lose.”

        Here’s Game summed up in one sentence: Treat a 10 like you’d treat a 4.

        “The problem is when you’re in that situation at least from my perspective I’m too outcome dependent and it goes to shit.”

        lol that’s how it goes. Outcome dependence happens when you pass your level of entitlement threshold…ie – how hot can a girl be before you start caring whether you get her or not.

        This is one of the hardest inner-game battles…but of course it’s hard, if it was easy every guy would all be fucking 10s every night. :)


  • walawala
    on November 22, 2013 at 8:53 pm
    Original Link

    @darkhorse. Great Field Report.

    Your own insights on this help to do better next time.

    You were doing great. But what strikes me in this is what I’ve noticed about myself in some situations:

    Outcome dependence. You see this as a sure thing and then a sense of nervousness creeps in and you’re thinking either about what you did or what you’re going to do/say next and you’re then not in the moment.

    There was nothing you did or said from this report that stands out for me apart from the recognition of a series of sign-posts: the room-mate.

    In this situation, could you have raised your value by being cocky: “Come on, get decent, we have company!” or something that could have raised you value and kept the mood lighter.

    My issue recently is inner game. I’m struggling to get my mojo back after my break up.

    Last night I went to a club to watch a series of dance performances by a friend of mine and his school.

    This was a great therapy. It was a new set of people. All the girls there were under 30 and smoking hot. There was a trio of girls performing who were smoking. The head girl invited everyone to take photos and chat them up “We’re all mostly single…” I was going to approach but they were surrounded by girlfriends and orbiters so I took it all in and went to the bar to have a drink.

    One of the other dancers approached me and opened me. I ran game on her: cocky-funny, then comfort: “what is it about the music that you feel when you perform?” I got great IOI’s. It doesn’t always have to be a number or a lay. I’m pushing myself to just open new hot girls and chat…just talk.

    I’m talking and going out with a variety of girls now just to talk and run and practice game to get back whatever it is that I lost and to reassure myself.


    • Matthew King
      on November 23, 2013 at 8:05 am
      Original Link

      Outcome dependence. You see this as a sure thing and then a sense of nervousness creeps in and you’re thinking either about what you did or what you’re going to do/say next and you’re then not in the moment.

      Twelve screens reduced to one paragraph. Bravo.

      All this hypervigilance, microscopic analysis, and lengthy if-then trees work against relaxing in the moment. The war stories and the Wise-Uncle advice are fun to dispense after the fact but you are laying the predicate for trying too hard next time. Did I dim the lights just right? What does her squint mean? Should I get out the Chip-n-Dip?

      A man can keep an average of five to seven thoughts in his mind simultaneously, even fewer when “it goes to shit.” You need to drill, drill, drill a handful of concepts (like outcome independence) and stop greasing the details so hard.

      Matt


      • YaReally
        on November 23, 2013 at 9:34 am
        Original Link

        “The war stories and the Wise-Uncle advice are fun to dispense after the fact”

        That’s why we debrief Field Reports after the fact like this, or at the end of the night in recap, not in the moment. In study/training, you focus on specifics, and in the moment you let your training flow. Same as any athlete in any sport or any skilled artist in any hobby. Michael Jordan didn’t just pick up a basketball and join the NBA.

        “Did I dim the lights just right? What does her squint mean? Should I get out the Chip-n-Dip?”

        Spoken like a guy who hasn’t dealt with the logistics of situations like taking home a stripper and bottle service girl off a cold approach solo. You can just wing it, like every other guy, and hope that the planets align for you…but that’s rolling the dice when a little strategy/training/thought would have increased your odds and overall consistency significantly.

        “but you are laying the predicate for trying too hard next time.”

        Ya, when I go to the gym I just randomly lift things and jump around and hope that I get a 6-pack. I don’t do any reading or get help from a trainer or watch my diet or anything, that would be trying too hard and some Internet Badass might think I’m lame!!

        End of the day: Some guys are happy being in generally okay shape, and that’s cool, good on them…but some guys want a rock-hard 6-pack and 8% body-fat. …and when you go out a lot, it’s very obvious who’s a fat guy on the Internet giving exercise advice lol

        Saturday night tonight. If anyone reading this has been on the fence about going out, tonight’s the best night of the week to give it a go. The chicks have all day to doll themselves up and get their hair did, and everybody’s looking to forget the work-week and have some fun. Get out there and push your comfort zone!


        • walawala
          on November 23, 2013 at 11:57 am
          Original Link

          @YaReally, right. I’m coaching a friend of mine in Game. He has no clue and is just basically shooting arrows, drawing circles around them and calling them bullseyes.

          When I meet up with a girl I plan everything in advance: cologne, what i’m wearing, where we’re going, where we’re sitting.

          I’ve banged girls I just met within 3 hours.

          What I hate is “losing”….and despite huge success it’s the one I fucked up that tend to over-analyze.

          I have had a few blow-outs, mostly from princesses who wanted me to buy them drinks or were otherwise flakey. But I just moved on because I had nothing invested. In some cases however, when I pushed it way beyond normal, I started getting great results. I escalating quickly with one girl. now all she does is text me about lingiere shopping and sends me selfies of her tits. That’s all good. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut…..

          I did blow it with my ex gf. in a moment of utter surprise, she called last Sunday morning to kind of vent. I didn’t realize and took the call.

          it was a typical “non-game” call. I reamed her out. She vented. It really didn’t accomplish anything except blowing off steam. Then we chatted about normal things for a long while, then we talked about what we were feeling and then we texted back and forth like normal.

          The next day it was going great so I suggested we meet up. She blew it off without offering an alternative—basically tooling me. So I went no contact….AGAIN.

          She texted at 2am!!! “You disappeared again”.

          Me: “I open up…but all I see is the black swan” (reference to the movie with the nut case—she’s a dancer too)

          It was 3am I wasn’t thinking straight. I just “reacted” with my gut instead of thinking. After that I started putting my phone on silent.

          I could analyze this shit forever: was I alpha enough, did I beta backslide, was it beta provider game etc etc etc.

          But the bottom line is I spoke my mind. This is a “fail”.

          Wider, longer term, I know what I did and what I would do differently.

          Only by fucking up can you really get it right next time.

          I’m still way better with this than past break ups.


          • YaReally
            on November 25, 2013 at 6:46 am
            Original Link

            @walawala

            “The next day it was going great so I suggested we meet up. She blew it off without offering an alternative—basically tooling me. So I went no contact….AGAIN.”

            lol no surprise there. Like I say, all you’ve taught her now is that if she causes enough drama for long enough, she’ll get your attention back and can even win you back…so that she can continue causing drama like flaking on you when you suggest getting back together.

            I know when you’re in the middle of it, and there are a lot of emotions involved, it might be harder to see the overall bigger picture, but if you objectively look at all the actions that took place you’ll see the pattern of “she acts out, you reward her with your reactions/attention, so she acts out more, to get more of your reactions/attention”.

            Unfortunately, every time you slip on this, you gotta’ go alllll the way back to the start with it. If you were looking at the Soft Next taking like, 6 months to fully play out before…now you’re looking at probably a year, maybe more.

            I wish I could say “just say/do XYZ and you’ll get back together with her and it’ll all work out fine” but that would be blowing smoke up your ass and stroking your emotions so you feel good instead of being aware of the reality of the situation.

            Again, as I’ve said a few times before, you CAN take her back right now. Like you basically just attempted to…but the bulldog has only learned that biting children gets it the doggie treats it wants…so the next time it wants doggie treats, what do you think it’s going to do?

            Sorry man! On the plus side, you’ve learned a LOT from this whole thing and whether you end up with her in a year or so or not (hell there may come a point where she’s acted out long enough and you’ve met enough quality girls that you legitimately don’t want her and her drama in your life anymore), whatever your next long-term relationship is, you will be a LOT more rock-solid with it and it will be a much higher-quality relationship in the end. This is all a learning process, even getting into LTRs. The more we do this, the more we become solid internally, like an oak tree with strong roots, unmovable and planted.

            And another plus is that by attempting to take her back with this last event, you’ve now seen demonstrated first-hand how it plays out when you don’t fully execute the Soft Next, with her tooling you. You won’t forget the sting of THAT one for a long time…I know that from experience lol


          • YaReally
            on November 25, 2013 at 7:12 am
            Original Link

            @walawala

            No prob. Wish I had better news for ya. If it helps any, a lot of us have gone through similar things, especially starting out. And down the road you’ll look back on this and say “I’m actually kind of glad that didn’t work out, I needed to learn that lesson”. But I understand that in the moment it’s rough.

            The game has it’s ups and downs, but at least you’re consciously aware of them now and can work through them, compared to the guys who have this exact same scenario play out for them but are completely oblivious to what’s going on and let it literally destroy their lives sending them down years of drama and depression and bitterness.


          • YaReally
            on November 25, 2013 at 6:52 pm
            Original Link

            @walawala

            http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2012/08/29/the-clusters-a-warning-for-men/

            She’s a Cluster B. Ultimately you’ll be better off without her, but it’s like quitting a really addicting drug ’cause the good times are amazing…but the bad times are fucking nightmares. Often we get addicted to the emotional rollercoaster the same way women do and it can be hard to break away from that, especially when you’re in the middle of it.

            Part of the point of a radio silence Soft Next is to also give you a chance to distance yourself from the whole situation and come out of the emotional hurricane and hopefully be able to take an objective look at the whole situation and decide “is this a one-time thing that I can train out of her, or is this something that’s a part of her personality that not only would be difficult to fix, but that she has no desire to fix herself? Something that will explode in my face down the road when I’m locked down with her (kids, marriage, etc.)?”

            It’s a bummer when you realize the chick is too broken to fix, doesn’t really have an interest in fixing herself (even if she claims she does, to win you back), and that while you loved the good times, you just can’t handle having the bad times in your life…it’s sad and unfortunate.

            But if it’s any consolation, the more women you meet the more you learn to screen for these things and the easier it is to spot them ahead of time. You start being able to spot the behaviors that make you go “hmm, I’d better keep an eye on this”. Sometimes they can be trained out with Soft Nexts, but we live in a society where women are encouraged to be bat-shit crazy, avoid self-help because they’re all perfect and special princesses, and half the time they’re rewarded by beta males and feminists for being bat-shit crazy…so sometimes you meet a girl who’s just too far gone to help and you have to keep her at arm’s length for the sake of your own life’s stability.

            Welcome to the game, it ain’t all unicorns and flowers. ;) But like I say, at least you’re aware of this stuff…a lot of men would marry that chick and end up another bitter MRA posting about how his wife cheated on him, divorced him, took all his money, and is brainwashing his kids into believing he’s a monster. You dodged a bullet, even if it takes a while and takes meeting a few cool normal chicks before you fully feel like it.


        • darkhorse
          on November 23, 2013 at 1:59 pm
          Original Link

          I always wonder what league each poster in here is in.

          Gaming some cute girls college girls carries the same principles but a higher social skill-set and emotional control than not the same thing as gaming a qualified 10 (young, hot woman pursued by male celebrities). It’s like thinking that crossover that works in your pick-up basketball game is going to work in the NBA. Theoretically it is. Technically, you need to by the social, emotional and psychological equivalent of an NBA player.

          From my perspective, the leagues you’re playing in is consistent with the abundance of hot girls. For example, office environments where guys game Rhonda the hot PR girl are low level leagues, in my opinion. (Unless your office is Ford models). Women who really couldn’t make a living off looks-based employment are over valued. An 6 might be considered an 8, and the guy who bangs her might think he has game, but his skills wouldn’t necessarily work in a setting with legitimate 8s who are attracting more competition.


          • YaReally
            on November 25, 2013 at 7:00 am
            Original Link

            @Scray

            “You have to be more than ‘that cool guy who seems well-liked,’ because now, where you’re playing, that’s pretty much every guy.”

            This. What a lot of the rooshvforum “I’m James Bond, I just post up at the bar and chill in my custom-fitted suit with my martini glass and swoop up the lizards as they flock to my matching pocket-square and socks” who are “swooping up” 7s and laughing about how “I just did it for the story, really I could get a 10 tho, there was this one girl this one time 4 years ago…” don’t get is that the persona they’re putting on is what the hottest girls are SURROUNDED by. Like, that’s the bare minimum level of value that the 10 guys orbiting her all night and the other 10 guys txting her all night, are bringing to the table. Because all those guys bought into the same “hit the gym, make money, get a nice suit, and girls will flock to you…soon as I get the right model of Ferrari, bitches will be all over me!” mentality.

            The keyboard jockeys and the guys who game in average low/middle-end bars/clubs are visualizing that every other guy is awkward and lame and doesn’t look as good as them and their suit costs more and bla bla bla, because in those environments ya, that’s probably true. The guy in the badly fitted shirt with the sports team ballcap standing in a corner with his drink up at his chest probably doesn’t look as high-value in comparison.

            But in higher-value circles, EVERY guy has a solid level of cool social skills, fashion sense, works out, etc. I’m in a city where the majority of the guys in the lounges/clubs I go to look like fucking models lol And even worse, now that game has gone mainstream, most of these guys have at least read the basics and have a bit of an understanding of game and a little skill…because those are the guys who are attracted to it. The guy who’s attracted to learning all the little tips and skills to get the best 6-pack is the same guy who’s going to apply that mentality to learning how to get the hottest girls. So you’re not walking up to a bunch of retarded orbiter chodes who just stand around picking their ass while you take their girls, you’re walking into a circle of high-value guys who the girls would be perfectly happy going home with.

            The really hot girls who are surrounded by these guys generally end up not even CARING about that, because every guy is offering that. What they’re attracted to is the guy who stands out, who lives in his own reality, and sucks her INTO that reality, emotionally. That’s why you see super hot chicks with weird skinny grubby artist dudes who don’t make any money but who are super passionate about whatever it is they do and they suck her into it and show her a new world she hasn’t seen before.

            Like, you being IN a high-end venue, means you’re high-value by default. So when everyone is high-value, the bar resets and now it becomes “who stands out AMONG these high-value guys? Who’s the most “free”? Who’s the most outcome independent? Who has the strongest frame?” and that’s where you either cross your fingers and roll the dice and hope for the best like Matt says. Or you put a little bit of effort in to understand the dynamics going on around you, be just a little bit better than most of the other guys, and get the girl.


          • YaReally
            on November 25, 2013 at 7:10 am
            Original Link

            @Matthew

            ” But it is objectively not difficult — much less most difficult — to seduce a woman who is already inebriated, advertising her sexual availability in the most blatant possible ways, half-dressed (or, in the case of strippers, not dressed), sensory-overloaded, young, dumb, and predisposed to flirtation.”

            lol. Oh look, it’s this argument. “Anyone could get those drunk slutty bar whores. I mean, I’ve never done it, because my standards are too high, but anyone could, it’s EASY.”

            Here’s the reality that you would understand if you actually went out and approached these girls so that you could have a formed opinion: The hottest girls do NOT go out and get inebriated. They have a couple of drinks max. Why? Because they don’t want to be the drunk sloppy girl falling over on the dance floor and going home with some low-value guy. They keep themselves sober enough to keep their good judgement of all the drunk losers approaching them. And they go home around midnight, because they don’t need to stick around till 2am falling over hammered trying to get dick. They put in a respectable appearance, socialize, flirt, and then leave before things get messy. Some of them do it because they just want a high-quality guy and know that the 2am drunk guys generally aren’t that, and some of them do it because they’re establishing themselves and building a reputation in the scene so that they can have access to the highest-value guys. A lot of the girls will literally show up at a few different bars/clubs through the night, do a few laps, talk to a few people, and then move on to the next place.

            A 6 dressing up sexy is her advertising wanting to get fucked. A hot girl dressing up sexy is a shit-test to see which men react to it and lose their composure or judge her and generally fall apart. It’s to separate which guys are used to being around attractive sexual women, and which guys are Matthew Kings. Again, you would know this if you interacted with them but they probably aren’t in your grandmother’s basement where you write your fantasies from.

            “Never on-point with the controversy, always imagining any criticism is proof of inexperience and inauthenticity.”

            No, the part that demonstrates your inexperience is that reality doesn’t play out how you describe. Anyone going out can tell you that. You are SO inexperienced that you don’t even understand HOW blatant it is, the difference between someone who goes out and who doesn’t. Like, you don’t even have the ability to understand how you come across to the guys going out in the same way that a 5 year old can’t understand why NASA won’t hire them to fly the next space shuttle.

            “Some of us can parallel park the first time we try it.”

            I’m not sure you’ve ever even BEEN in a car. Playing GTA on XBox doesn’t count as experience, just like waxing theoretical from your keyboard doesn’t.


          • YaReally
            on November 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm
            Original Link

            “You always sputter out with the same fart noise.”

            So start listening.



The Female Preference For Badboys, Quantified

Original Link

via Heartiste

darkhorse
on November 22, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Original Link

@YaReally / CH

I took a high quality two-set home last night. Bouncers giving me respect as we left the club. That’s nice. Logistically though, things fizzled out when we got to my place. Looking for ways to improve the situation next time it happens.

1am enter top club in big metropolitan American city. Get a vibe going with two Europeans girls. Very sexy, mid-twenties. Very high-status in this environment. One is a stripper, the other works bottle service. Light chatting for 15 minutes, they can sense I can hang. They invite me to an abandoned bottle service booth.

There they start to make plans to eject from their group of a dozen girls. We’re going X place, do you want to join us? I tell them my place is nearby, tell them to join me first, they agree.

Pretty sure my first mistake was failure to escalate happened in this moment, when we were in “huddle formation” in the booth and they had selected me as a potential inseminator. IMHO taking the reigns and deciding where we were going next wasn’t enough leadership, at least sexual leadership. Probably better to have sat in between both (rather than to the side of one), and whispered in both their ears (rather than talk face to face). Basically be bold.

Cab ride in bottle service girl starts referencing her DD tits. I tease a bit, but not directly referencing her tits. Looking back dropped the ball. Could have escalated there.

Long story short, they arrive, the mood inside is dull. Roommate there with too chumpy girls = lowers status. I get music, lower the lights. They go cold. Lack of interest, muted contempt, they’ve already made plans to eject. (Didn’t even ask for numbers, just figure they demoted me to beta and text game would seem hard to believe.)

Pretty sure excitement level was too low. Definitely take responsibility for it. Been in similar situations, taking a two-set home, and fucking one in front of their friend, but on that occasion, had already escalated with that girl prior. So guessing the missing piece here was escalation: executing it at the club, in the cab, and immediately at my destination. Communicating through action: You selected me, I know what I’m doing, and I’m going to push your boundaries step-by-step, and I’m good at it.

Thinking something like leading them to body shots on arrival would have been the best call.

Tips on verbal and physical escalation welcome.


  • YaReally
    on November 22, 2013 at 2:59 pm
    Original Link

    @darkhorse

    You pretty much answered your own question. Just confirming your observations:

    “I tell them my place is nearby, tell them to join me first, they agree.”

    Solid.

    “IMHO taking the reigns and deciding where we were going next wasn’t enough leadership, at least sexual leadership. Probably better to have sat in between both (rather than to the side of one), and whispered in both their ears (rather than talk face to face). Basically be bold.”

    Yep. You were a cool guy, but you pulled them home without building any sexual attraction. Of course they’ll come see what your place/party is like because you’ve seemed cool/charming so far so who knows maybe you’re a celebrity.

    And if your home was a badass party enviro and they got there and it’s all swank looking and you have music going and booze and hot people having a blast and your roommate has game and macks on the one who’s not your target and you guys put them up on the kitchen table to do body-shots etc., they might stick around.

    But you brought them to a quiet apartment with quiet people and ugly girls and no music etc. to basically sip a drink lol

    And that’s fine, if you’ve got a bunch of sexual attraction with one (or both) of them and it’s already on…but if you still have “work to do”, that’s not an environment to do it in.

    “I get music, lower the lights.”

    By then it’s already too late. Unless you are Stifler levels of energy solo, the mood is already dead the second you walk in and flip on bright kitchen lights and have to dig the alcohol out and go turn on music etc.

    Think about it from the perspective of two smokin’ hot “bouncer-give-you-props” quality mid-20s chicks who work as a stripper and at bottle service.

    On a fri/sat night, from the time you met them to the time you gave them a shot at your place, they probably got at least a dozen txts from guys who are offering them epic crazy parties that night. Offering them the chance to meet super high-value dudes, or to hang out with their close friends etc. They’re getting offers from dudes for BOTH of them to get fucked that night…they’re two hot girls, one of them isn’t going to sit on the couch with your roommate watching TV while you bang her friend unless you are massively high-value and she’s a good friend, ’cause they can walk into any bar in the city and walk out with two dudes so they can both get laid.

    Now they’ll pass all that up to hang at your place and bang you…IF they’re sexually attracted before they get there. But if you’re just a dude offering a mediocre “party”, the second they walked thru the door they were already planning to bail…it turns to resentment because at that point you become the guy preventing them from going to their awesome party lol

    “Cab ride in bottle service girl starts referencing her DD tits. I tease a bit, but not directly referencing her tits. Looking back dropped the ball. Could have escalated there.”

    Yep. When she’s shooting something like that at you, ON THEIR WAY TO YOUR APARTMENT (lol, like, in a bar that might just be teasing you, but in a cab to your place that’s a “hey look, just so you know, I need to get fucked tonight”), and you basically demonstrate that you don’t have a penis, their brain switches to “fuck this is a waste of time, buuuut let’s keep going since we’re already on the way and who knows, maybe it’ll turn out that his apartment is a mansion and he’s actually a rich celebrity…but man, it better not be just some quiet boring apartment hangout…the rich guys we met at the club we work at are at this party waiting for us. God we’ll be mad if this is a total waste of time…”

    “(Didn’t even ask for numbers, just figure they demoted me to beta and text game would seem hard to believe.)”

    Ya, really no reason to. It’s super unlikely that they’d ever txt you back beyond trying to turn you into an Orbiter chode. But hey, they taught you a good lesson about escalation, so it’s not a total loss. It’s all learning experiences. :) You did good, you just didn’t move fast enough.

    “Pretty sure excitement level was too low.”

    To escalate to sex, you want to bring the energy down…but not halfway thru the night when they’ve ditched their party to go to another party with high-energy etc. AND you don’t have a sexual vibe with either of them. That’s bringing the energy down too soon and they aren’t done with their night yet.

    “Been in similar situations, taking a two-set home, and fucking one in front of their friend, but on that occasion, had already escalated with that girl prior. So guessing the missing piece here was escalation: executing it at the club, in the cab, and immediately at my destination.”

    Yep. Imagine you meet some random dude at the club and shoot the shit and get along well and you tell him you’re hitting the Playboy Mansion for a party in a bit and invite him and he’s like “nah, eff that man, you should come to my place.” You’re gonna assume “wow if he’s turning down the Playboy Mansion, he must have a bunch of smokin’ hotties at his place partying! I’m gonna’ check it out!” So you go along and you get there and he’s got like 10 super fat girls in a shitty basement party. You’re gonna’ be like “ffffffuuuuuu….” and bail ASAP and probably resent him.

    You didn’t promise these girls an epic party it doesn’t sound like, but they assume that in their minds because you were cool/social and the guys who normally invite them to shit invite them to crazy parties like the one they were heading to later.

    And again, allllll that would be okay IF you already had a lot of sexual attraction with one and it was basically guaranteed to be on for the lay…but without that, all that other shit comes into play.

    “Communicating through action: You selected me, I know what I’m doing, and I’m going to push your boundaries step-by-step, and I’m good at it.”

    Ya, it’s like when you have a fuckbuddy. If she txts you “hey” at 2am on a Saturday night, you go fuck her. She trusts you to understand she’s selected you, to know what you’re doing, and to push your boundaries and arrange judgement/guilt-free sex for the two of you. If you don’t fulfill your part of that unwritten deal, eventually you’ll lose her.

    “Thinking something like leading them to body shots on arrival would have been the best call.”

    Ya, but before that you should’ve been more physical. The tits thing in the cab was her last hail-mary at hoping you’d show you’re a clued in “secret society” guy.

    The highest % play in the booth would’ve been like you say, sitting between them, arms around them like it happens to you every day, and whispering in their ear etc. You may have been able to build enough sexual chemistry to neutralize your dull apartment vibe.

    The highest % play once they were in the cab would’ve been to escalate on the blonde and ask the girls if they’ve ever kissed eachother and gone for the 3-way makeout in the back of the cab (I’m sure the cabbie would approve lol) and, ideally, the 3-some at your place…by doing that, you may have created enough sexual chemistry to neutralize your dull appartment vibe.

    The highest % play once you were in the cab and she mentioned her tits and you didn’t escalate would have been to realize “ah shit, I missed the window, now we’re going to be heading to my dull place without enough sexual vibe” and said “you know what, fuck my place, let’s hit your party. I don’t know if I can trust you to know where I live yet, this one is clearly the stalking type. ;)”

    Now you’d be going into unknown territory by going to their party (never go to where the girls suggest ’cause they always pick a place where they have 50 Orbiters) and may lose the girls if the party is a bunch of high-value sausage social circle competition, BUT that’s a higher % play than practically GUARANTEED losing the girls by bringing them home to a quiet apartment without enough sexual attraction…also the other party would contain the possibility of meeting more girls similar in looks to them (since hot people tend to have social circles of equally hot people) that you would work if these two ditched you, and you’d be rolling in with a bit of social proof (if they don’t run off immediately and ignore you all night for the guys they have crushes on there or whatever lol), or at the least maybe make some decent social connections…but ideally you could win over their group and keep stoking attraction with the titty one, and then at the end of the night extract her to your place, which would be fine if it’s low-energy because she’s done partying and you have enough sexual attraction by then for it to be on, and you probably left her friend at the party so you have one on one isolation.

    Good stuff either way, you were solid enough to get them into a cab to your place and you learned some lessons. Good on you for even TRYING to push dropping by your place lol


    • YaReally
      on November 23, 2013 at 9:38 am
      Original Link

      “The common factor in all this is when i don’t care…i do great. I can’t lose.”

      Here’s Game summed up in one sentence: Treat a 10 like you’d treat a 4.

      “The problem is when you’re in that situation at least from my perspective I’m too outcome dependent and it goes to shit.”

      lol that’s how it goes. Outcome dependence happens when you pass your level of entitlement threshold…ie – how hot can a girl be before you start caring whether you get her or not.

      This is one of the hardest inner-game battles…but of course it’s hard, if it was easy every guy would all be fucking 10s every night. :)


    • YaReally
      on November 23, 2013 at 9:52 am
      Original Link

      They’re all green lights to me. ;) …except 2. lol. And even then, 2 could probably be turned around.

      I’m not really joking either. To me, if she’s responding at all, it’s all good. Whatever she responds with, handling it is simply a matter of calibrating (ie – if she sounds receptive then you keep going or escalate, and if she sounds unreceptive then you pull back a bit, get her emotions going, and try escalating again).

      “If you send an clear escalation text like “you want to bang me”, you’re likely to get a variety of responses based on the level of attraction that each girl has for you, and her readiness to submit.”

      Ideally you don’t want to send a txt like that until you KNOW she’s going to respond with a green light. Like, you shouldn’t GET a red light, because you should be calibrated enough to escalate when she’s attracted, not just randomly throwing it out there and hoping it works.

      Like I don’t really get Last Minute Resistance…it’s been years since I can remember having to diffuse LMR. But that’s because I’m calibrated enough now to know when it’s “on” and that I’ve handled all the logistics and ASD and comfort and shit, so when I push for the lay the entire road is all green lights.

      To me, if I get a red light, that’s an indicator that I fucked up calibrating somewhere or missed something, and I look back to try to figure out what it was I was missing (did I not have enough comfort? did I make her feel too slutty? did her friends dislike me or AMOG me? etc.) so that next time I can tighten that bolt.


  • walawala
    on November 22, 2013 at 8:53 pm
    Original Link

    @darkhorse. Great Field Report.

    Your own insights on this help to do better next time.

    You were doing great. But what strikes me in this is what I’ve noticed about myself in some situations:

    Outcome dependence. You see this as a sure thing and then a sense of nervousness creeps in and you’re thinking either about what you did or what you’re going to do/say next and you’re then not in the moment.

    There was nothing you did or said from this report that stands out for me apart from the recognition of a series of sign-posts: the room-mate.

    In this situation, could you have raised your value by being cocky: “Come on, get decent, we have company!” or something that could have raised you value and kept the mood lighter.

    My issue recently is inner game. I’m struggling to get my mojo back after my break up.

    Last night I went to a club to watch a series of dance performances by a friend of mine and his school.

    This was a great therapy. It was a new set of people. All the girls there were under 30 and smoking hot. There was a trio of girls performing who were smoking. The head girl invited everyone to take photos and chat them up “We’re all mostly single…” I was going to approach but they were surrounded by girlfriends and orbiters so I took it all in and went to the bar to have a drink.

    One of the other dancers approached me and opened me. I ran game on her: cocky-funny, then comfort: “what is it about the music that you feel when you perform?” I got great IOI’s. It doesn’t always have to be a number or a lay. I’m pushing myself to just open new hot girls and chat…just talk.

    I’m talking and going out with a variety of girls now just to talk and run and practice game to get back whatever it is that I lost and to reassure myself.


    • YaReally
      on November 23, 2013 at 9:34 am
      Original Link

      “The war stories and the Wise-Uncle advice are fun to dispense after the fact”

      That’s why we debrief Field Reports after the fact like this, or at the end of the night in recap, not in the moment. In study/training, you focus on specifics, and in the moment you let your training flow. Same as any athlete in any sport or any skilled artist in any hobby. Michael Jordan didn’t just pick up a basketball and join the NBA.

      “Did I dim the lights just right? What does her squint mean? Should I get out the Chip-n-Dip?”

      Spoken like a guy who hasn’t dealt with the logistics of situations like taking home a stripper and bottle service girl off a cold approach solo. You can just wing it, like every other guy, and hope that the planets align for you…but that’s rolling the dice when a little strategy/training/thought would have increased your odds and overall consistency significantly.

      “but you are laying the predicate for trying too hard next time.”

      Ya, when I go to the gym I just randomly lift things and jump around and hope that I get a 6-pack. I don’t do any reading or get help from a trainer or watch my diet or anything, that would be trying too hard and some Internet Badass might think I’m lame!!

      End of the day: Some guys are happy being in generally okay shape, and that’s cool, good on them…but some guys want a rock-hard 6-pack and 8% body-fat. …and when you go out a lot, it’s very obvious who’s a fat guy on the Internet giving exercise advice lol

      Saturday night tonight. If anyone reading this has been on the fence about going out, tonight’s the best night of the week to give it a go. The chicks have all day to doll themselves up and get their hair did, and everybody’s looking to forget the work-week and have some fun. Get out there and push your comfort zone!


    • YaReally
      on November 25, 2013 at 6:46 am
      Original Link

      @walawala

      “The next day it was going great so I suggested we meet up. She blew it off without offering an alternative—basically tooling me. So I went no contact….AGAIN.”

      lol no surprise there. Like I say, all you’ve taught her now is that if she causes enough drama for long enough, she’ll get your attention back and can even win you back…so that she can continue causing drama like flaking on you when you suggest getting back together.

      I know when you’re in the middle of it, and there are a lot of emotions involved, it might be harder to see the overall bigger picture, but if you objectively look at all the actions that took place you’ll see the pattern of “she acts out, you reward her with your reactions/attention, so she acts out more, to get more of your reactions/attention”.

      Unfortunately, every time you slip on this, you gotta’ go alllll the way back to the start with it. If you were looking at the Soft Next taking like, 6 months to fully play out before…now you’re looking at probably a year, maybe more.

      I wish I could say “just say/do XYZ and you’ll get back together with her and it’ll all work out fine” but that would be blowing smoke up your ass and stroking your emotions so you feel good instead of being aware of the reality of the situation.

      Again, as I’ve said a few times before, you CAN take her back right now. Like you basically just attempted to…but the bulldog has only learned that biting children gets it the doggie treats it wants…so the next time it wants doggie treats, what do you think it’s going to do?

      Sorry man! On the plus side, you’ve learned a LOT from this whole thing and whether you end up with her in a year or so or not (hell there may come a point where she’s acted out long enough and you’ve met enough quality girls that you legitimately don’t want her and her drama in your life anymore), whatever your next long-term relationship is, you will be a LOT more rock-solid with it and it will be a much higher-quality relationship in the end. This is all a learning process, even getting into LTRs. The more we do this, the more we become solid internally, like an oak tree with strong roots, unmovable and planted.

      And another plus is that by attempting to take her back with this last event, you’ve now seen demonstrated first-hand how it plays out when you don’t fully execute the Soft Next, with her tooling you. You won’t forget the sting of THAT one for a long time…I know that from experience lol


    • YaReally
      on November 25, 2013 at 7:00 am
      Original Link

      @Scray

      “You have to be more than ‘that cool guy who seems well-liked,’ because now, where you’re playing, that’s pretty much every guy.”

      This. What a lot of the rooshvforum “I’m James Bond, I just post up at the bar and chill in my custom-fitted suit with my martini glass and swoop up the lizards as they flock to my matching pocket-square and socks” who are “swooping up” 7s and laughing about how “I just did it for the story, really I could get a 10 tho, there was this one girl this one time 4 years ago…” don’t get is that the persona they’re putting on is what the hottest girls are SURROUNDED by. Like, that’s the bare minimum level of value that the 10 guys orbiting her all night and the other 10 guys txting her all night, are bringing to the table. Because all those guys bought into the same “hit the gym, make money, get a nice suit, and girls will flock to you…soon as I get the right model of Ferrari, bitches will be all over me!” mentality.

      The keyboard jockeys and the guys who game in average low/middle-end bars/clubs are visualizing that every other guy is awkward and lame and doesn’t look as good as them and their suit costs more and bla bla bla, because in those environments ya, that’s probably true. The guy in the badly fitted shirt with the sports team ballcap standing in a corner with his drink up at his chest probably doesn’t look as high-value in comparison.

      But in higher-value circles, EVERY guy has a solid level of cool social skills, fashion sense, works out, etc. I’m in a city where the majority of the guys in the lounges/clubs I go to look like fucking models lol And even worse, now that game has gone mainstream, most of these guys have at least read the basics and have a bit of an understanding of game and a little skill…because those are the guys who are attracted to it. The guy who’s attracted to learning all the little tips and skills to get the best 6-pack is the same guy who’s going to apply that mentality to learning how to get the hottest girls. So you’re not walking up to a bunch of retarded orbiter chodes who just stand around picking their ass while you take their girls, you’re walking into a circle of high-value guys who the girls would be perfectly happy going home with.

      The really hot girls who are surrounded by these guys generally end up not even CARING about that, because every guy is offering that. What they’re attracted to is the guy who stands out, who lives in his own reality, and sucks her INTO that reality, emotionally. That’s why you see super hot chicks with weird skinny grubby artist dudes who don’t make any money but who are super passionate about whatever it is they do and they suck her into it and show her a new world she hasn’t seen before.

      Like, you being IN a high-end venue, means you’re high-value by default. So when everyone is high-value, the bar resets and now it becomes “who stands out AMONG these high-value guys? Who’s the most “free”? Who’s the most outcome independent? Who has the strongest frame?” and that’s where you either cross your fingers and roll the dice and hope for the best like Matt says. Or you put a little bit of effort in to understand the dynamics going on around you, be just a little bit better than most of the other guys, and get the girl.


    • YaReally
      on November 25, 2013 at 7:10 am
      Original Link

      @Matthew

      ” But it is objectively not difficult — much less most difficult — to seduce a woman who is already inebriated, advertising her sexual availability in the most blatant possible ways, half-dressed (or, in the case of strippers, not dressed), sensory-overloaded, young, dumb, and predisposed to flirtation.”

      lol. Oh look, it’s this argument. “Anyone could get those drunk slutty bar whores. I mean, I’ve never done it, because my standards are too high, but anyone could, it’s EASY.”

      Here’s the reality that you would understand if you actually went out and approached these girls so that you could have a formed opinion: The hottest girls do NOT go out and get inebriated. They have a couple of drinks max. Why? Because they don’t want to be the drunk sloppy girl falling over on the dance floor and going home with some low-value guy. They keep themselves sober enough to keep their good judgement of all the drunk losers approaching them. And they go home around midnight, because they don’t need to stick around till 2am falling over hammered trying to get dick. They put in a respectable appearance, socialize, flirt, and then leave before things get messy. Some of them do it because they just want a high-quality guy and know that the 2am drunk guys generally aren’t that, and some of them do it because they’re establishing themselves and building a reputation in the scene so that they can have access to the highest-value guys. A lot of the girls will literally show up at a few different bars/clubs through the night, do a few laps, talk to a few people, and then move on to the next place.

      A 6 dressing up sexy is her advertising wanting to get fucked. A hot girl dressing up sexy is a shit-test to see which men react to it and lose their composure or judge her and generally fall apart. It’s to separate which guys are used to being around attractive sexual women, and which guys are Matthew Kings. Again, you would know this if you interacted with them but they probably aren’t in your grandmother’s basement where you write your fantasies from.

      “Never on-point with the controversy, always imagining any criticism is proof of inexperience and inauthenticity.”

      No, the part that demonstrates your inexperience is that reality doesn’t play out how you describe. Anyone going out can tell you that. You are SO inexperienced that you don’t even understand HOW blatant it is, the difference between someone who goes out and who doesn’t. Like, you don’t even have the ability to understand how you come across to the guys going out in the same way that a 5 year old can’t understand why NASA won’t hire them to fly the next space shuttle.

      “Some of us can parallel park the first time we try it.”

      I’m not sure you’ve ever even BEEN in a car. Playing GTA on XBox doesn’t count as experience, just like waxing theoretical from your keyboard doesn’t.


    • YaReally
      on November 25, 2013 at 7:12 am
      Original Link

      @walawala

      No prob. Wish I had better news for ya. If it helps any, a lot of us have gone through similar things, especially starting out. And down the road you’ll look back on this and say “I’m actually kind of glad that didn’t work out, I needed to learn that lesson”. But I understand that in the moment it’s rough.

      The game has it’s ups and downs, but at least you’re consciously aware of them now and can work through them, compared to the guys who have this exact same scenario play out for them but are completely oblivious to what’s going on and let it literally destroy their lives sending them down years of drama and depression and bitterness.


    • YaReally
      on November 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm
      Original Link

      “You always sputter out with the same fart noise.”

      So start listening.


    • YaReally
      on November 25, 2013 at 6:52 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala

      http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2012/08/29/the-clusters-a-warning-for-men/

      She’s a Cluster B. Ultimately you’ll be better off without her, but it’s like quitting a really addicting drug ’cause the good times are amazing…but the bad times are fucking nightmares. Often we get addicted to the emotional rollercoaster the same way women do and it can be hard to break away from that, especially when you’re in the middle of it.

      Part of the point of a radio silence Soft Next is to also give you a chance to distance yourself from the whole situation and come out of the emotional hurricane and hopefully be able to take an objective look at the whole situation and decide “is this a one-time thing that I can train out of her, or is this something that’s a part of her personality that not only would be difficult to fix, but that she has no desire to fix herself? Something that will explode in my face down the road when I’m locked down with her (kids, marriage, etc.)?”

      It’s a bummer when you realize the chick is too broken to fix, doesn’t really have an interest in fixing herself (even if she claims she does, to win you back), and that while you loved the good times, you just can’t handle having the bad times in your life…it’s sad and unfortunate.

      But if it’s any consolation, the more women you meet the more you learn to screen for these things and the easier it is to spot them ahead of time. You start being able to spot the behaviors that make you go “hmm, I’d better keep an eye on this”. Sometimes they can be trained out with Soft Nexts, but we live in a society where women are encouraged to be bat-shit crazy, avoid self-help because they’re all perfect and special princesses, and half the time they’re rewarded by beta males and feminists for being bat-shit crazy…so sometimes you meet a girl who’s just too far gone to help and you have to keep her at arm’s length for the sake of your own life’s stability.

      Welcome to the game, it ain’t all unicorns and flowers. ;) But like I say, at least you’re aware of this stuff…a lot of men would marry that chick and end up another bitter MRA posting about how his wife cheated on him, divorced him, took all his money, and is brainwashing his kids into believing he’s a monster. You dodged a bullet, even if it takes a while and takes meeting a few cool normal chicks before you fully feel like it.



The Feminist Push To Sanction Female Infidelity

Original Link

via Heartiste

man reader
on November 12, 2013 at 12:35 pm
Original Link

This is backwards: “This is because men, unlike women, can easily sever sex from emotional connection.”

Most men fell in love with, and stayed in love with, the hot women who had sex with them, and when the women dumped them, the women turned off the “emotional connection” as easily as turning off a light switch. Pure coldness from the female side.

The truth is that a man can have an affair with 4 women and actually love and take care of and be a net giver, not net taker, with all of them. When a woman cheats on her beta husband, she resents the beta husband with a seething contempt not even a convicted rapist could inspire, and she gives said beta *nothing* while taking *everything*, including all of his money, property, and the very soul he needs to have the energy to be a man every day.


  • Scray
    on November 12, 2013 at 12:58 pm
    Original Link

    I’m pretty convinced that women are faithful to the men who give them tingles. So I gotta agree with the common wisdom. If you’re fucking a girl and she can ‘turn off’ her emotional connection, then a) you no longer give her tingles or b) you never did.


    • Alexander
      on November 12, 2013 at 2:07 pm
      Original Link

      You can’t build everything on tingles solelly.

      Tingles are going to pass. Things that give her tingles now will give them less and less over time, until it all becames dull bussines to her. Than a mechanism of serial monogamy turns in. You should be the one that her logical brain chooses and consideres acceptable.

      Offcourse you should if possible hold the upper hand as much as you can, that is still the saffest way to keep a women.


      • Scray
        on November 12, 2013 at 2:27 pm
        Original Link

        Tingles pass when men become pussies.


        • Alexander
          on November 12, 2013 at 2:34 pm
          Original Link

          No buddy, tingles pass over time too.

          Or: Nobody can be hero all the time, some betaization has to occur. Over time, or over a failure in life. You can restore your confidence sure, but you need time for that and if tingles are the only thing you were counting on… Well you’re in deep shit.

          He told you right: “wait until you’re 35.”


          • YaReally
            on November 13, 2013 at 8:32 pm
            Original Link

            “And in marriage, the attraction that fades is correlated with the loss of value you automatically suffer, as YaR said.”

            This is really what it comes down to.

            A hot waitress flirting with you causes jealousy and creates attraction. That’s just how it works.

            Now take two guys:

            Billy the single guy, who’s just fresh into a relationship but his phone is still blowing up with girls txting him and he’s out with his GF who sees him as super high-value and feels lucky to be with him and like he could do better than her.

            The waitress flirts with him…his GF is worried she’ll lose him so she gets jealous, attracted, and bangs his brains out that night.

            Now take Bob from accounting, the run-down beta’ized loser who’s been married to his wife for 10 years and had no back-bone so he allowed her to just steamroll over him with worse and worse behavior, and they have 2 kids at home and he depends on her because he subscribes to the Disney notion that his whole world should revolve around his wife, but she hasn’t put out in years and she knows that there’s no way he can leave the relationship because she will take his money, his kids, and basically cripple his soul.

            She knows there is NO danger of losing him. She can chop his dick off and he’ll stay with her because he has no other alternatives in life and quite frankly, no other woman would find him attractive or want him.

            The waitress flirst with him…his wife doesn’t give a FUCK, and berates him later for being a pervert for even looking at the waitress, and makes him sleep on the couch.

            Now say that bitchy wife gets an “alpha fuck” on the side, some young badboy stallion dude who fucks her brains out and who she knows she’s lucky to have. He’s such a break from her spineless loser hubby that she’s grateful to have him.

            They go to the restaurant for dinner before fucking, while her hubby is out of town on a business trip, and the waitress flirts with that alpha dude she fears losing.

            She reacts the same way the first girl did, being worried she’ll lose him, so she gets jealous, attracted, and bangs his brains out that night.

            The act itself doesn’t “become less attractive over time”. It’s the guy who’s performing the act that gets less attractive and affects the results.

            In an LTR you go through problems and work through them, which is great, but each time you do that, you demonstrate to the girl that you won’t leave her. So every incident of bratty behavior that you let her get away with without Soft Next’ing her, just gives her more reference experiences of “he won’t leave me, even if I misbehave” and she will naturally escalate this to see where your boundaries are.

            Over time, you end up beta’ized and she has less of a fear of loss, so the stuff you did that is still attractive conceptually, is less attractive because of who you’ve become as a man.

            If you then add marriage into it, where you voluntarily legally commit yourself to what is essentially lifetime slavery, so that you REALLY can’t leave, you are handicapping yourself and ensuring that she will have no fear of loss…so when that waitress flirts with you, she doesn’t get jealous and fuck you, she berates you and disrespects you, because YOU have changed and no longer come with a fear of loss.


        • YaReally
          on November 12, 2013 at 3:01 pm
          Original Link

          Getting married automatically handicaps you because you remove the option to leave the relationship which takes away most, if not all, of your hand.

          Same time, if you want to settle and have kids and raise a family and all, and you’re in your 40s, you’re probably not gonna have much interest or time to go hit up bars macking on girls lol

          But that doesn’t change what produces tingles. The core alpha traits are still attractive. I think when you get older and decide to settle, you just have to channel those things into other areas.

          ie – when you were young and single you could go to the bar and flirt with girls and trigger jealousy tingles. But when you’re older and settled down with kids, maybe you just flirt with the waitress when your wife and you are at dinner, or you “do the rounds” at your company office Xmas party and she sees the girls in your office flirting with you.

          Triggers the same tingles, but the latter is a situation that a family man could pull off.

          Another example would be dedication/drive toward your goals. When you were younger you might ignore her texts so you could get work done. When you’re older and settled down with kids, maybe you just make sure you have a private office in the house where you can go to not be disturbed and focus on your shit and she understands not to bother you when you’re in the office. Same tingles triggered, but in a different way.

          Same with, say, leading other men. As a young single dude maybe you led your wolf pack of bros at the bar. But when you’re married and settled maybe you’re the guy who arranges poker nights with your other settled buddies (where she’s not allowed to bother you guys except to bring beers and snacks) or you have a team of men working for you at your job etc. or simply when you go to her office Xmas party, you take the lead and introduce yourself to the men there and befriend and lead them for the night.

          Same tingles triggered, but in a different way that’s more conducive to being settled down and raising kids.

          The problem with most married guys is that they beta themselves by marrying and removing their woman’s fear of loss, but then on TOP of that, they say minimal words to the waitress and don’t dare “get caught” checking her out or making eye contact with her in front of their wife. And they sit quietly in the background at their office parties. And they stop hanging out with their buddies, hoping for Bob up the street to arrange a poker night so they can escape their wife’s loathing resentment for a few hours if they beg permission to go first, and they stop trying to advance their career because they’re scared to rock the boat and their job eats away their soul and they give up their hobbies and have no private office or man-cave because they don’t want to risk hurting their wife’s feelings, they’ve stopped working out and dressing decent because they’ve landed a girl and “don’t have to” take pride in their appearance and their girl fattened them up with dinners etc etc etc

          In the end you end up with just a spineless unattractive beta family man who gets cheated on, divorced, and loses custody of his kids to his wife who’s moved on to more alpha pastures.

          But if he had understood tingles and attraction, he could have acted like the first guy I described, and probably done just fine.

          So I think ya, settling down means you choose to let yourself get beta’ized a bit in exchange for a family… But I also don’t think it’s a death sentence when you understand attraction and understand “I’m not trolling the bars for pussy anymore, and that’s going to make me less attractive to my girl, so I have to figure out how to supplement that jealousy tingle in a different way”. It’s like taking vitamins for things that your diet doesn’t provide lol


        • Stilicho
          on November 12, 2013 at 5:54 pm
          Original Link

          Aren’t you the short guy who just a few months ago was a newbie PUA wannabe?

          And now you’re commenting as if you get more ass than anyone else on this site.

          Bitch please….


          • YaReally
            on November 12, 2013 at 7:23 pm
            Original Link

            Scray knows his shit. Dude progressed fast as balls in those few months.


      • Tilikum
        on November 12, 2013 at 2:37 pm
        Original Link

        how sad to never have been truly loved. then again, less than 10% of men ever truly are.


        • man reader
          on November 12, 2013 at 2:43 pm
          Original Link

          No man has ever been truly loved by a woman. She uses him for resources and protection and fun while she feels good about it. Period.


          • YaReally
            on November 12, 2013 at 4:05 pm
            Original Link

            “what you will learn if you ever get into an LTR or get married is women award NO credit for past tingles, even if what the man did was AMAZING. it is forgotten.”

            This is the important thing men need to learn. You don’t get to let yourself go once you’re in a relationship. You don’t get credit for your past tingles. You have to still actively be a high-value attractive man. Society conditions us to believe that once you “win” the game (getting an LTR) you can relax and let yourself go and you can be the fat guy on King of Queens and your hot wife will still love you etc.

            But the reality is part of what makes a man is his drive to continuously improve himself and his world. If you let that shit go, thinking you can bank on previous tingles, you are in for a rude/expensive awakening.

            In pretty much all cases of the taken women who cheat on their men with me, their men have let themselves go in some category that I fulfill, whether it’s sexual adventure, assholeishness, unpredictability, dominance, etc. I’m offering them a tingle their men stopped providing.


          • YaReally
            on November 13, 2013 at 8:17 pm
            Original Link

            “The advancement itself, like a promotion on a job or some other achievement may be much of a tingle raiser, but it won’t last for too long if you let yourself go. What makes her tingle is your energy that you radiate while struggling to get that promotion.”

            Yep. BradP put it best…to paraphrase: “every shitty indie rocker has at least a few groupie girls who want to fuck him that come to every single show. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t hit it big or if he never will or if his goals are stupid, it’s the fact that he HAS a dream/ambition and a goal that he’s chasing that attracts them.”



The Feminist Push To Sanction Female Infidelity

Original Link

via Heartiste

man reader
on November 12, 2013 at 12:35 pm
Original Link

This is backwards: “This is because men, unlike women, can easily sever sex from emotional connection.”

Most men fell in love with, and stayed in love with, the hot women who had sex with them, and when the women dumped them, the women turned off the “emotional connection” as easily as turning off a light switch. Pure coldness from the female side.

The truth is that a man can have an affair with 4 women and actually love and take care of and be a net giver, not net taker, with all of them. When a woman cheats on her beta husband, she resents the beta husband with a seething contempt not even a convicted rapist could inspire, and she gives said beta *nothing* while taking *everything*, including all of his money, property, and the very soul he needs to have the energy to be a man every day.


  • Scray
    on November 12, 2013 at 12:58 pm
    Original Link

    I’m pretty convinced that women are faithful to the men who give them tingles. So I gotta agree with the common wisdom. If you’re fucking a girl and she can ‘turn off’ her emotional connection, then a) you no longer give her tingles or b) you never did.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 3:01 pm
      Original Link

      Getting married automatically handicaps you because you remove the option to leave the relationship which takes away most, if not all, of your hand.

      Same time, if you want to settle and have kids and raise a family and all, and you’re in your 40s, you’re probably not gonna have much interest or time to go hit up bars macking on girls lol

      But that doesn’t change what produces tingles. The core alpha traits are still attractive. I think when you get older and decide to settle, you just have to channel those things into other areas.

      ie – when you were young and single you could go to the bar and flirt with girls and trigger jealousy tingles. But when you’re older and settled down with kids, maybe you just flirt with the waitress when your wife and you are at dinner, or you “do the rounds” at your company office Xmas party and she sees the girls in your office flirting with you.

      Triggers the same tingles, but the latter is a situation that a family man could pull off.

      Another example would be dedication/drive toward your goals. When you were younger you might ignore her texts so you could get work done. When you’re older and settled down with kids, maybe you just make sure you have a private office in the house where you can go to not be disturbed and focus on your shit and she understands not to bother you when you’re in the office. Same tingles triggered, but in a different way.

      Same with, say, leading other men. As a young single dude maybe you led your wolf pack of bros at the bar. But when you’re married and settled maybe you’re the guy who arranges poker nights with your other settled buddies (where she’s not allowed to bother you guys except to bring beers and snacks) or you have a team of men working for you at your job etc. or simply when you go to her office Xmas party, you take the lead and introduce yourself to the men there and befriend and lead them for the night.

      Same tingles triggered, but in a different way that’s more conducive to being settled down and raising kids.

      The problem with most married guys is that they beta themselves by marrying and removing their woman’s fear of loss, but then on TOP of that, they say minimal words to the waitress and don’t dare “get caught” checking her out or making eye contact with her in front of their wife. And they sit quietly in the background at their office parties. And they stop hanging out with their buddies, hoping for Bob up the street to arrange a poker night so they can escape their wife’s loathing resentment for a few hours if they beg permission to go first, and they stop trying to advance their career because they’re scared to rock the boat and their job eats away their soul and they give up their hobbies and have no private office or man-cave because they don’t want to risk hurting their wife’s feelings, they’ve stopped working out and dressing decent because they’ve landed a girl and “don’t have to” take pride in their appearance and their girl fattened them up with dinners etc etc etc

      In the end you end up with just a spineless unattractive beta family man who gets cheated on, divorced, and loses custody of his kids to his wife who’s moved on to more alpha pastures.

      But if he had understood tingles and attraction, he could have acted like the first guy I described, and probably done just fine.

      So I think ya, settling down means you choose to let yourself get beta’ized a bit in exchange for a family… But I also don’t think it’s a death sentence when you understand attraction and understand “I’m not trolling the bars for pussy anymore, and that’s going to make me less attractive to my girl, so I have to figure out how to supplement that jealousy tingle in a different way”. It’s like taking vitamins for things that your diet doesn’t provide lol


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 4:05 pm
      Original Link

      “what you will learn if you ever get into an LTR or get married is women award NO credit for past tingles, even if what the man did was AMAZING. it is forgotten.”

      This is the important thing men need to learn. You don’t get to let yourself go once you’re in a relationship. You don’t get credit for your past tingles. You have to still actively be a high-value attractive man. Society conditions us to believe that once you “win” the game (getting an LTR) you can relax and let yourself go and you can be the fat guy on King of Queens and your hot wife will still love you etc.

      But the reality is part of what makes a man is his drive to continuously improve himself and his world. If you let that shit go, thinking you can bank on previous tingles, you are in for a rude/expensive awakening.

      In pretty much all cases of the taken women who cheat on their men with me, their men have let themselves go in some category that I fulfill, whether it’s sexual adventure, assholeishness, unpredictability, dominance, etc. I’m offering them a tingle their men stopped providing.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 7:23 pm
      Original Link

      Scray knows his shit. Dude progressed fast as balls in those few months.


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 8:17 pm
      Original Link

      “The advancement itself, like a promotion on a job or some other achievement may be much of a tingle raiser, but it won’t last for too long if you let yourself go. What makes her tingle is your energy that you radiate while struggling to get that promotion.”

      Yep. BradP put it best…to paraphrase: “every shitty indie rocker has at least a few groupie girls who want to fuck him that come to every single show. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t hit it big or if he never will or if his goals are stupid, it’s the fact that he HAS a dream/ambition and a goal that he’s chasing that attracts them.”


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 8:32 pm
      Original Link

      “And in marriage, the attraction that fades is correlated with the loss of value you automatically suffer, as YaR said.”

      This is really what it comes down to.

      A hot waitress flirting with you causes jealousy and creates attraction. That’s just how it works.

      Now take two guys:

      Billy the single guy, who’s just fresh into a relationship but his phone is still blowing up with girls txting him and he’s out with his GF who sees him as super high-value and feels lucky to be with him and like he could do better than her.

      The waitress flirts with him…his GF is worried she’ll lose him so she gets jealous, attracted, and bangs his brains out that night.

      Now take Bob from accounting, the run-down beta’ized loser who’s been married to his wife for 10 years and had no back-bone so he allowed her to just steamroll over him with worse and worse behavior, and they have 2 kids at home and he depends on her because he subscribes to the Disney notion that his whole world should revolve around his wife, but she hasn’t put out in years and she knows that there’s no way he can leave the relationship because she will take his money, his kids, and basically cripple his soul.

      She knows there is NO danger of losing him. She can chop his dick off and he’ll stay with her because he has no other alternatives in life and quite frankly, no other woman would find him attractive or want him.

      The waitress flirst with him…his wife doesn’t give a FUCK, and berates him later for being a pervert for even looking at the waitress, and makes him sleep on the couch.

      Now say that bitchy wife gets an “alpha fuck” on the side, some young badboy stallion dude who fucks her brains out and who she knows she’s lucky to have. He’s such a break from her spineless loser hubby that she’s grateful to have him.

      They go to the restaurant for dinner before fucking, while her hubby is out of town on a business trip, and the waitress flirts with that alpha dude she fears losing.

      She reacts the same way the first girl did, being worried she’ll lose him, so she gets jealous, attracted, and bangs his brains out that night.

      The act itself doesn’t “become less attractive over time”. It’s the guy who’s performing the act that gets less attractive and affects the results.

      In an LTR you go through problems and work through them, which is great, but each time you do that, you demonstrate to the girl that you won’t leave her. So every incident of bratty behavior that you let her get away with without Soft Next’ing her, just gives her more reference experiences of “he won’t leave me, even if I misbehave” and she will naturally escalate this to see where your boundaries are.

      Over time, you end up beta’ized and she has less of a fear of loss, so the stuff you did that is still attractive conceptually, is less attractive because of who you’ve become as a man.

      If you then add marriage into it, where you voluntarily legally commit yourself to what is essentially lifetime slavery, so that you REALLY can’t leave, you are handicapping yourself and ensuring that she will have no fear of loss…so when that waitress flirts with you, she doesn’t get jealous and fuck you, she berates you and disrespects you, because YOU have changed and no longer come with a fear of loss.



The Feminist Push To Sanction Female Infidelity

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 12, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Original Link

How do alphas get married or have long term relationships when they know women are cheating whores? Do they stay single for the rest of their lives?

This must fuck with their heads, even after having fucked hundreds and hundreds of women.

What is the end-game for the alpha male?


  • Greg Eliot
    on November 12, 2013 at 2:17 pm
    Original Link

    Judging by Hollywood, music, and sports stars, women do indeed cheat on alphas.

    Sure, one can pooh-pooh that the cuckold in question was doubtfully a true alpha… according to the given definer’s mental legerdemain.

    But when guys like Frank Sinatra, Tom Cruise, Hulk Hogan, etc., etc., etc. can’t hold onto wives, well…


    • Scray
      on November 12, 2013 at 2:30 pm
      Original Link

      The problem here is that you’re defining alpha as ‘to the outside world.’ What matters is how the woman in question views the man. Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner is a great example. She was constantly testing him, he was going through a really ‘low value’ time in his life = her having one foot out the door.


      • YaReally
        on November 12, 2013 at 2:41 pm
        Original Link

        “The problem here is that you’re defining alpha as ‘to the outside world.’ What matters is how the woman in question views the man.”

        This.


        • MTK (@MANFORTHEAGES)
          on November 13, 2013 at 2:08 pm
          Original Link

          I can’t believe you take pride in your retarded protege Scray. Its sort of cute and reminds me of Puffy (you) and Mase (your said retard)

          He uses words like brah and muh and dik. He is either a retard, dreg, or wanna be gangster or an unholy trifecta cocktail of the 3.

          Seriously if that retard somehow spawns because of game its your fault.


          • YaReally
            on November 13, 2013 at 8:14 pm
            Original Link

            brah get off muh dik.



The Feminist Push To Sanction Female Infidelity

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 12, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Original Link

How do alphas get married or have long term relationships when they know women are cheating whores? Do they stay single for the rest of their lives?

This must fuck with their heads, even after having fucked hundreds and hundreds of women.

What is the end-game for the alpha male?


  • Greg Eliot
    on November 12, 2013 at 2:17 pm
    Original Link

    Judging by Hollywood, music, and sports stars, women do indeed cheat on alphas.

    Sure, one can pooh-pooh that the cuckold in question was doubtfully a true alpha… according to the given definer’s mental legerdemain.

    But when guys like Frank Sinatra, Tom Cruise, Hulk Hogan, etc., etc., etc. can’t hold onto wives, well…


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 2:41 pm
      Original Link

      “The problem here is that you’re defining alpha as ‘to the outside world.’ What matters is how the woman in question views the man.”

      This.


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 8:14 pm
      Original Link

      brah get off muh dik.



The Feminist Push To Sanction Female Infidelity

Original Link

via Heartiste

Ras Al Ghul
on November 12, 2013 at 1:09 pm
Original Link

Scray:

“Women don’t cheat on alphas, or more accurately, women don’t cheat on men that they view as alphas. As long as you play FAG, with some DHV sprinkles here and there, I see no reason why a man couldn’t have a devoted life partner.”

This is only true if there is no greater alpha or if there is some restraint upon the woman. There is always a bigger alpha somewhere.

If there is a man she views as greater that she thinks she can trade up on, she will unless some part of her character or a social constraint preventing her.

The longer the long term relationship, the more she will see the beta in you. This is ok, in a way, as she gets farther past the wall . . . but then she gets farther past the wall.


  • Scray
    on November 12, 2013 at 1:46 pm
    Original Link

    Yes, there will always be greater alphas, however women aren’t retarded — as much as the comment section on this blog likes to think so.

    A female 6 in looks who manages to LTR a male 8 through game/awesomeness will probably NEVER cheat on him — even if a male 9 comes along for a P and D. When the spread starts becoming too large, women instinctively back off.

    Honestly, would any man here throw away a committed good relationship with an 8, for one night with a 9? You guys can talk all the shit you want, but I already know what the real answer is.

    Last but not least, women do not think like men. A woman can think you are the greatest alpha ever even tho OBJECTIVELY you are not. If you have a strong reality/frame, she will pretty much anchor herself to you. She won’t really give any other guys an actual chance. If you are giving her tingles, she’ll only have eyes for you. It’s when you stop giving her tingles and start losing value that what you’re talking about may happen.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 2:39 pm
      Original Link

      “This is only true if there is no greater alpha or if there is some restraint upon the woman. There is always a bigger alpha somewhere.”

      This is true. But this is the solution for it:

      “A woman can think you are the greatest alpha ever even tho OBJECTIVELY you are not. If you have a strong reality/frame, she will pretty much anchor herself to you. She won’t really give any other guys an actual chance. If you are giving her tingles, she’ll only have eyes for you. It’s when you stop giving her tingles and start losing value that what you’re talking about may happen.”

      I’ve always said the one type of woman that’s impossible to seduce is the woman who sees her man as the highest value male around. Those girls won’t even let me get my foot in the door to demonstrate higher value than him. They’ll even apologize like “I’m sorry, I’m flattered really, but no” with a smile as I say hello, like it’s not even a possibility that they would give another guy a chance because they’ve already won the lottery in their mind and don’t have any interest in even entertaining the notion of other men.

      Objectively, her man isn’t the highest value man…there’s always some guy who’s higher value in society’s eyes. But that isn’t relevant because girls don’t run on logic, they run on emotion. If the girl believes that her man is the highest-value man for her, even if Brad Pitt walks into the room she’ll rationalize “sure he may be hot and rich but he’d be a one time thing and MY man will be around long-term and be a good father to our kids…besides I LIKE that my man isn’t a celebrity and doesn’t have to travel and deal with paparazzi and I like his belly it’s soft and cuddly etc.” and legitimately consider her man higher value even tho all of society would disagree with her objectively in the moment.

      How does that guy keep that value? The stuff listed above, about always working on yourself and your goals and all that shit…but also understanding that women ping off you for how to feel. “What you feel, she feels”. So if your internal frame is strong, even to the point of delusion, that you’re higher-value than Brad Pitt, she will believe that too.

      A big part of my game is massive unjustified confidence. In a high-end nightclub I’ll be hanging with a fucking DOCTOR, a guy who’s job is saving LIVES daily, who has an expensive beautiful condo and hits the gym daily etc and he’ll be scared to approach a girl because she’s hot. Or he’ll be talking to a girl and afterward ask me “do you think she likes me?” Like in his mind, despite his obvious massive value, he doesn’t believe he’s high value.

      Meanwhile I don’t have any of that but when the girl talks to me, in my mind I’m higher value than Clooney Pitt and Kanye combined, and to me the girl is lucky that she gets even a few minutes of my attention and that’s the confident vibe I give off, like she’s just won the jackpot even tho it’s not objectively based on anything.

      So she talks to both of us, and which of us do you think gets the attraction?

      Now if my doctor buddy stepped up and fully embraced his value, he would probably get the girl instead of me. But it’s SO fucking rare for a high value guy to fully believe he’s high value that it practically never happens. Even when it DOES happen, if I can chat with the dude and win him over and he sees me as a peer or higher-value, then the attraction is back to me…and this isn’t as hard to do as it might sound. Most high-value guys are nice dudes, not snobby dick-heads, and are happy to meet and befriend other high-value guys.

      The super alpha male badass who’s accomplished in all areas of life AND fully believes in his own worth IN all areas of life, is such a mythological creature that it’s not worth worrying about anymore than it’s worth worrying about a dragon taking your girl lol

      To bring this all back to the girl who won’t cheat, even if I believe I’m higher-value than her man, or even if all of society believes that, it doesn’t matter, because SHE believes he’s higher-value and she’ll rationalize away his faults and my assets, and will cut me off before I can even demonstrate value. She’s basically mentally on lockdown with her man…because all that matters is how SHE feels.

      Hypergamy is a perfectly logical and consistent concept…it just seems confusing and cold-hearted when you don’t understand it or when it burns you. When you understand it and embrace it instead of fighting it, you can make it work in your favor. I don’t need to BE higher-value than the other guys in the room…I just need her to feel like I am.


      • Crazy Heart
        on November 12, 2013 at 2:50 pm
        Original Link

        If the girl believes that her man is the highest-value man for her, even if Brad Pitt walks into the room she’ll rationalize<<<

        I'm sure she could be convincied otherwise. This is an exaggeration. I've been with women like this when I have DHVed through the room in a particular social context. I've seen this time and time again when a girl walks into one of the main bars I hang out in where I know everybody and can DHV through the roof. She's still game if you make her forget her prince charming and make him look like the "nicer/needier" one in the moment.


        • YaReally
          on November 12, 2013 at 4:12 pm
          Original Link

          “She’s still game if you make her forget her prince charming and make him look like the “nicer/needier” one in the moment.”

          This is what I’m saying.

          The catch is that you’re gaming bar chicks in a bar, where having bar-related value is high-value. Bring in a guy who doesn’t care for bars and doesn’t have as much value in one, and combine that with a girl who sees bar-related-value as high-value, and Hypergamy triggers.

          But take a girl who looks down on people in bars and who attributes low-value to anyone who’s in a bar regularly, and your value is gone to her and her non-bar-going man is higher-value to her.

          But that 2nd girl isn’t going to be IN a bar in the first place lol

          Extrapolate this concept to other areas…a legit gold-digger with a rich guy won’t have Hypergamy triggered by a poor guy because her value system is based around money so even if the other guy is attractive in general, she won’t let him get a foot in the door because he’s poor and her man is rich.

          Keep in mind that these are extreme cases. Most men are average and most women see the same things as high-value (dominance, leadership, sexuality, social proof, etc) so your bar-related attributes are high-value to most women. I’m just using the extremes for the sake of providing examples of the concept.


          • YaReally
            on November 12, 2013 at 5:14 pm
            Original Link

            @Matt

            “That “girl [who] isn’t going to be IN a bar in the first place lol” — how do we game her?”

            Day-game, dipshit. You know, the thing PUAs have been promoting forever where you pick up girls outside of the bar.

            Seriously Matt, like read the most basic game 101 somewhere. I’m embarrassed for you every time I have to explain the newbie basics to you.

            “What kind of value do we have to achieve to attract her?”

            Same values. Thus the part where I said “most women see the same things as high-value (dominance, leadership, sexuality, social proof, etc) so your bar-related attributes are high-value to most women.”

            Is it just hard to see the screen with your head up your own ass, or do you get a boner off being willfully ignorant?


          • YaReally
            on November 13, 2013 at 8:13 pm
            Original Link

            “it doesn’t really tell us how much of that very different world you have mastered.”

            1) Go out and try it yourself, you’ll find out it’s not that hard.

            2) There’s plenty of in-field footage online.

            3) There are fucktons of PUA material written about day-game. There are entire bootcamps dedicated specifically just to day-game. There are PUAs who specifically ONLY do day-game, and have since the community started.

            4) The fact that you think day-game is somehow magical and different just shows that you don’t go out and do it.

            “In fact, I’d posit it is such a different world that your extrapolation of bar-tricks to areas where they don’t particularly apply (by appending “day” to “game”) is essentially evasive and/or fabricated.”

            Yes, you WOULD think that. Because you are mentally masturbating from your keyboard jockey chair. The only real difference between day and night game is that the sun is out. What do you think happens? “ohhh nooo the sun is out, I’m no longer attracted to men who are dominant!!!” lol The other key difference is internal, in that guys have a lot more baggage with day-game in terms of not being able to build up social momentum the way you can in a night-club because there are less people around, and a lot more insecurities come into play (like worrying that people will overhear you gaming the girl or getting shot down, worrying that you’ll get in trouble for harrassment because the environment isn’t as sexual as a nightclub, etc.)

            “I am not talking about cold approaches on the quad or bumping into a girl on the street. I am talking about every area of life in which the women aren’t already inebriated and advertising their availability.”

            No shit. Do you think Janice, the secretary at the office who’s married to some beta, doesn’t want to fuck her dominant boss who leads meetings and has every other secretary wanting to fuck him as he drops a little flirty innuendo here and there?

            Again, you’re just flaunting your inexperience.

            “What do you have for me?”

            Same advice I’ve always had for you. Go out and socialize. The same advice you always reject because you’re happier mentally masturbating.

            The fact that you don’t go out is specifically the reason why you don’t understand that yes, I CAN pull the “you don’t go out” rank card on you in these discussions and it carries weight. The guys who go out aren’t fooled by your flowery nonsense because a few weeks/months/years in the field makes it clear who’s jockeying from their keyboard.


      • Matthew King
        on November 12, 2013 at 3:12 pm
        Original Link

        Hey, welcome to my side of the planet, Yas.

        I’ve always said the one type of woman that’s impossible to seduce is the woman who sees her man as the highest value male around. Those girls won’t even let me get my foot in the door to demonstrate higher value than him.

        Nice to see you finally drop by.

        Matt


        • YaReally
          on November 12, 2013 at 4:19 pm
          Original Link

          Riding on my coattails yet AGAIN, Matt? Come on now, it’s getting old lol


          • YaReally
            on November 12, 2013 at 5:21 pm
            Original Link

            The part you don’t get is that you aren’t taking it far enough. You’re saying “if she was raised right she’ll never see certain things as high value and thus she’s a lock-in sure thing to be faithful”

            What I’m saying is that that same girl, if you created a situation where she valued your high-value attributes, would cheat just like any other hypergamous girl.

            That might mean becoming a social leader of her church group instead of at the bar. Or that might mean earning more money than her hubby. Or it could be on her end, like she goes through a period where she values things she didn’t before (she recently took up rock climbing and you happen to be a pro rock-climber and her hubby is out of shape and that didn’t matter to her before but now she sees rock-climbing and being active as high-value and you look more high-value than her hubby so Hypergamy kicks in).

            Your scope is too narrow because you’re trying to force a square peg into your religious hole and club to the Madonna/whore complex.

            Let go and see the bigger picture.


          • YaReally
            on November 12, 2013 at 6:40 pm
            Original Link

            “A woman can indeed make a principled decision independent of her crotchal passions”

            “I do think women are rational actors with free will and capable of self-discipline”

            lol that’s cute. I guess you’ve swallowed the feminist mantra full-out, hey? You going to replace the male staff in one of your successful businesses with an all-female staff anytime soon? I mean, women are rational actors with free will and capable of self-discipline, so that should work out fine, right?

            After that, we’ll have all the nice guys list their resumes to girls, because they can logically convince them that they’re the attractive choice. That always works!

            “but blowing up her 7 husband and all his long-term non-groin attributes just to slake her cunt on a 9 isn’t just abnormal behavior, but the exact opposite reaction is nearly automatic.”

            I would suggest that you have this view because you’ve never caused this kind of reaction in a woman. Don’t use FeministX’s lack of wanting to ditch her super-old boyfriend to bone your high-value wang as a yardstick for normal female behavior. Field experience is king…real field experience, not online blog flirting lol


          • YaReally
            on November 13, 2013 at 8:04 pm
            Original Link

            “There is no reason for his built-in disrespect/condescension towards them.”

            ooo, I like your new tactics lol between this and the “you hate women” move, you would make a great junior high-school girl.

            “We cannot characterize an entire sex as all-madonnas or all-whores.”

            “No matter an individual woman’s defenses, if they are not supported by family, faith, the outer culture, or by a single strong man’s expectations and dread-inducement, they will indeed become YaReally’s stark stereotype.”

            This doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just dealing with reality.

            “Without men’s conscious support, it is impossible for women to maintain virtue.”

            Make up your mind. Either women are capable of making logical rational choices or they aren’t. You’re basically agreeing that they aren’t and they need the support of men and their enviornment to make it possible. I’m saying that support no longer exists, except in your fantasy world in your head where you’re surrounded by madonnas, because you don’t go out and see what the world is really like these days.

            Maybe in some obscure corner of the bible belt, or in super-traditional EE places…but even then a lot of those girls won’t cheat simply because they aren’t presented the right opportunity to.

            Like I say, I think a big part of why guys still believe there are madonnas is because they haven’t got the skills to make girls ignore Brad Pitt for them.

            Jay in DC says:

            “I have had women so enamored with me that I was 100% certain if Brad Pitt walked into the room and said “lets fuck” it simply would not have happened.”

            But instead of going “so logically, if my game was tighter, this would be a consistent thing”, he goes the opposite way and neutralizes it with “But using my own life as the metric this has been the exception, by far, not the rule.”

            All that means is that his game could be better. If when you throw a basketball properly at a hoop, it goes in, but you’ve only thrown a few perfect basketballs in your life, that doesn’t mean that “a basketball thrown properly will go in a hoop” is the exception to the rule. It means that 1) that is possible to do, and 2) if you practice and train enough, you can increase the likelihood of it happening. It’s illogical to come to the conclusion that it’s the exception to the rule when Michael Jordan can sink a dozen baskets in a row.

            This is why I say go out more, train harder, push your comfort zone, increase your skillset, and you’ll start seeing that 90% of the time when someone says “oh ya that might work on those bar sluts, but that’d never work on this high-quality good-girl I know”, that’s just them saying “I can’t do it or have never done it or haven’t seen it done consistently, so I assume no one else can either”.

            This is a skillset you can improve, not rolling dice.


          • YaReally
            on November 13, 2013 at 9:52 pm
            Original Link

            @Amy

            “Can’t this all just be boiled down to “almost anyone will cheat (or be tempted to cheat) if the circumstances are right”?”

            Yep. Like I say, even if she’s super-religious, if you convince her that fucking you is something God wants her to do, she’ll do it, because you’re creating a circumstance where you have high value in her system of values. And a lot of “bar values” (social dominance, leadership of men, confidence, social proof, etc.) are universal outside of the bar (despite Matt thinking the sun and office air conditioning makes confidence no longer attractive lol).

            “But it will be much much harder to create those circumstances if the girl is starry eyed over her guy. I’ve experienced it and it’s like an attraction fog; you can’t see past how amazing he is to even TRY to evaluate anyone else.”

            Also agreed. A lot of guys probably read my “she won’t even give me the time of day to get my foot in the door” like “ohhh you got shot down lolol you suck”. But the reality is that if her man weren’t around, she would probably give me a chance, but she’s in that attraction fog where not only doesn’t she have an interest in TRYING to evaluate another man, but she’s ALSO pro-actively taking steps like you describe below, to prevent her from being around me long enough to risk me breaking through that fog, by trying to brush me off as fast as possible.

            “But for the sake of argument, let’s say a guy like YaReally can break through the fog. So now the girl feels attracted to him and has the temptation to cheat. But she now has the choice to remove herself from the temptation before it grows into something she might not be able to handle.”

            Right, and in THEORY this is along the lines of what Matt’s saying, where if her social conditioning is that she’ll be branded a slut and her man will leave her etc., like that there’ll be severe consequences for cheating, she’ll try to avoid it or remove herself from the situation.

            And that’s awesome. In THEORY. In the 1950s, that worked fine. But I’m dealing with reality, here in almost 2014. The world has changed.

            In this current reality, not only are there basically no consequences for a girl cheating, but girls are ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED to do it (eat, pray, love! You go grrrl!! this very article we’re commenting under, etc.). Women are encouraged by all of society, including men both feminist and gamers, to embrace their inner-slut and run with it and be empowered. No one will hold them to any kind of consequence. If their marriage breaks up, the government ensures that their ex-husband continues to pay them alimony and child-support while their entire circle of friends tells them she’s better off without that loser and that he was too controlling and insecure because he didn’t accept her cheating and stay with her, etc.

            Like, that’s the reality we, guys in the sexual marketplace, in almost 2014, are dealing with.

            This is why I don’t entertain the notion of the magical unicorn madonna. She’s so rare that it’s ridiculous to even care about…and there’s a large portion of girls who SEEM like madonnas, but only seem that way to the guys they hide their slutty side from.

            Pretty much any girl can tell you that only their BFF knows the super darkest sluttiest things they’ve done, that their male friends have no idea they’re even capable of. And if they haven’t done them, they’ve thought about or fantasized about them. A lot of my game is based around bringing this side out of the girl in a judgement-free environment so that I’m basically the only person in her life who’s seen that side of her. Her friends all think she’s an angel, while I’m doing things to her that would shatter their mind to imagine her even being capable of doing, let alone enjoying and wanting and coming back for more.

            And women know this about themselves. But guys fall for the “women aren’t like that” Disney bullshit and go off thinking the world is full of madonnas/whores…when really it’s just full of women who haven’t been presented an opportunity to, consequence-free, live out their darkest fantasies. Once you can provide that for a woman, the gates open up. This is why LMR-busting works…”we aren’t having sex tonight, I’m not that kind of girl!” she says, as she’s taking off her shirt. Meanwhile the guy who took her on 3 dates, or her beta orbiter, or even her alpha fuckbuddy who simply has hang-ups about certain sexual things, thinks she’s a good-girl, because they don’t create that situation for her where she can fully let go.

            “No girl is so paralyzed by her *initial* attraction to a guy that she can’t remove herself from alluring presence.”

            Technically this happens, but it takes a lot of value in the guy to do it. But women understand this about themselves so they have safety nets.

            Like girls go out in groups. Why? To keep eachother from getting sucked in off that initial attraction. GirlA is married to some lame guy but meets Mr.PUA, and Mr.PUA blows her mind…GirlA is practically hypnotized frozen in place like a deer in the headlights attracted, and Mr.PUA knows it’s on, but then out of nowhere GirlB storms in, grabs her friend and shouts “WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!!” and drags her off while she looks back at Mr.PUA even as she’s being dragged off.

            GirlB knows that she has to get GirlA away from Mr.PUA because she’s too overwhelmed by her emotions to make rational decisions anymore. She doesn’t come over and logically list reasons to the girl to not fuck Mr.PUA, and she doesn’t wait for GirlA to come to rational conclusions about how it could fuck up her marriage herself…she knows that GirlA is basically helpless and she needs to get her the fuck as far away as possible and bring her back to her senses so she can calm down and rationally consider things.

            But if GirlB wasn’t there? GirlA would be fucking Mr.PUA. It’s not that GirlA is a bad person, it’s that Mr.PUA’s game is tight and he triggered the right emotions and circumstances.

            Like I say, I think a lot of guys here who have trouble understanding how captivating you can be to a woman, have simply not been the Mr.PUA in that example, or haven’t been him consistently, and seen how powerful this shit is. They’ve been the orbiters or decent at pickup but not super-captivating, so they can’t relate to how helpless a woman who’s emotions are triggered properly really is. And women/society won’t acknowledge it because that goes against the feminist mindset that we’re brought up to believe in…but she’ll still bring GirlB out to the bar with her because she KNOWS.

            “Avoiding temptation is a big part of fidelity, isn’t it? It’s not pretty or flowery but it’s the truth. For men and women both.”

            There’s not much, if any, incentive to avoid temptation these days, is the crux of what I’m saying. Matt longs for a return to the 1950s where girls were shamed and disciplined for acting on their emotions. And that’s awesome, people probably were a lot more faithful back then (at least physically)…

            But that is not the world we live in right now. I’m dealing with reality, in the here and now, not a fantasy world or a rose-tinted memory of a former time.


      • Lucky White Male
        on November 12, 2013 at 4:36 pm
        Original Link

        Interesting again Ya

        Are you saying — I want to hear you correctly — are you actually saying that BRAD PITT, MARRIED Brad Pitt, could NOT fuck any woman he wanted basically if the logistics assured enough discreteness for a woman

        Are you saying that a married woman would pass up a
        “Brad Pitt” or his equivalent?

        A “Brad Pitt” would blow away the SMV of 99.9% of men walking around on the planet – no matter how perfect that husband was for some wife previous to laying eyes on Brad Pitt

        I’m not trying to challenge you. But I’ve assumed that all these societal rules that girls have, go out the window when in the presence of a man at least 3 SMV points higher (Rollo Tomassi)

        I thought this was an ironclad rule of thumb


        • YaReally
          on November 13, 2013 at 6:48 pm
          Original Link

          “A “Brad Pitt” would blow away the SMV of 99.9% of men walking around on the planet – no matter how perfect that husband was for some wife previous to laying eyes on Brad Pitt”

          This goes back to my Pokemon champion example. If a Pokemon champion walks into the room, no one gives a shit and he’s probably actively LOWER value BECAUSE he’s a Pokemon champion. So to a girl in the room, dating a guy who doesn’t play Pokemon, she doesn’t give a fuck.

          But have that same guy walk into a Pokemon convention, and he’s a god. A girl there, dating a guy who doesn’t play Pokemon, but who has posters of this Pokemon champion all over her walls and has read every article on him and in her life Pokemon is super important…if he created the right circumstances, she would fuck him.

          This just comes down to relative value.

          So taking that back to Brad Pitt: if the girl puts value in things like celebrity status, adventurous one night stand memories, Brad Pitt himself, etc then she’ll fuck him if he creates the right circumstances. But if she doesn’t follow celebrity news, loves stability in her life, has no interest in ONS (so she doesn’t value the attributes he has) and at the same time she values things like long-term commitment, fatherhood-potential, etc (so she values attributes he wouldn’t be able to provide for her), she’ll choose her hubby who has her relative values.

          Most women respond to the same general values (social dominance, leadership, confidence, etc) so again I’m talking about the extreme ends of the spectrum here…but understanding this concept allows you to apply the knowledge in various ways, like a way to AMOG would be to frame the AMOGs features as unattractive (“wow that guy has a 6-pack, that’s awesome but he must spend all his time in the gym. I dunno, I’d rather have a belly and actually live my life and date girls lol have you girls ever had a boyfriend who ignores you to hang out at the gym all the time? That doesn’t even make sense to me lol”). Or when you run into a stripper, you be extra dominant/assholeish because odds are her value system involves dominance. Or when you run into a nice virgin girl you slow-play it because you know she values a guy who won’t pressure her about sex, etc etc

          A lot of this is just calibrating to the girl and deciding which parts of your personality to focus on demonstrating (VS completely changing your behavior/beliefs based on the girl, which would be supplicative…it’s subtle but there’s a difference).


    • Crazy Heart
      on November 12, 2013 at 3:19 pm
      Original Link

      I have to disagree with this. I see this happen all the fucking time son. Something like this almost happened this weekend at one of my home spots. This woman was an easy 9 and her husband was a very high value alpha male with a lot of money and connections, but the “dream team” worked on her all night and he had to drag her out of there because she wanted to come home with us. She is probably going to show up there again sometime when he is out of town on a business trip.

      Seriously, we eat up almost any female who comes in there. The night before I was starting to attract a 9 who is married to this 7 foot alpha everyone is afraid of, but I had her going. On of his friends was in the bar spying on us and AMOGed me hard and got her out of there, but I only had been talking to her running some cold reading telling her she looked like a sneaky prankster who also liked to throw snide barbs out etc. I thought if was funny, because I wasn’t even trying hard and didn’t even care about like the AMOG spy did. If I really wanted to I could have pushed him out of the way and kept going, but I was being a good sport.


      • Scray
        on November 12, 2013 at 3:35 pm
        Original Link

        You’re defining ALPHA and high value based on external attributes tho. Or I should say ‘non-personality’ attributes.


        • Scray
          on November 12, 2013 at 6:49 pm
          Original Link

          The use is that DESPITE this ENTIRE blog being dedicated to the INTANGIBLE ways a man can make himself more alpha, the majority of the commenters hill still dunderheadedly equate alpha with accomplishments that only men care about.

          The entire blog is about game and what women respond to. The men here seem to ignore that and say ‘see this guy climbs a mountain, therefore alpha….what, this blog has several entries about how women could give a fuck about some guy’s bullet-point resume? who cares?! I DO. THEREFORE HE MUST BE ALPHA. THEREFORE I SAW AN ALPHA GET CHEATED ON. Q.E.D.’

          on top of that, most of the takeaway in the comments about game are ‘say like two words at a time and be a total asshole.’ Which is nonsense. it’s a bunch of people who can only juggle particulars, rather than first integrating and second connecting the particulars to the universal.

          Men see a serial killer who gets women. The men think — ‘oh women must like EVIL!’ Men see a guy text ‘gay’ who gets a woman’ ‘OH THAT’S IT…GAY.’ And so on, so on.

          Ultimately, the mindsets just turn the men negative and bitter, which will just make it worse for them.


          • YaReally
            on November 12, 2013 at 7:21 pm
            Original Link

            alllllllllllll of this.


      • YaReally
        on November 12, 2013 at 3:53 pm
        Original Link

        “and her husband was a very high value alpha male with a lot of money and connections”

        Irrelevant.

        In THAT ENVIRONMENT, she didn’t view him as the highest-value guy there. It doesn’t matter if he just closed a billion dollar deal and drove her there in his Ferrari. If, when in the venue, there are men there who she feels are higher-value than him, Hypergamy is triggered.

        This is why bartenders clean up with women especially at the bar they work at…they aren’t high-value objectively, but in their environment they have high status and, to the girls who don’t view the bar scene as just silly nonsense, those bartenders have high-value.

        You’re too zoomed in. Zoom out and look at the bigger picture.



The Feminist Push To Sanction Female Infidelity

Original Link

via Heartiste

Ras Al Ghul
on November 12, 2013 at 1:09 pm
Original Link

Scray:

“Women don’t cheat on alphas, or more accurately, women don’t cheat on men that they view as alphas. As long as you play FAG, with some DHV sprinkles here and there, I see no reason why a man couldn’t have a devoted life partner.”

This is only true if there is no greater alpha or if there is some restraint upon the woman. There is always a bigger alpha somewhere.

If there is a man she views as greater that she thinks she can trade up on, she will unless some part of her character or a social constraint preventing her.

The longer the long term relationship, the more she will see the beta in you. This is ok, in a way, as she gets farther past the wall . . . but then she gets farther past the wall.


  • Scray
    on November 12, 2013 at 1:46 pm
    Original Link

    Yes, there will always be greater alphas, however women aren’t retarded — as much as the comment section on this blog likes to think so.

    A female 6 in looks who manages to LTR a male 8 through game/awesomeness will probably NEVER cheat on him — even if a male 9 comes along for a P and D. When the spread starts becoming too large, women instinctively back off.

    Honestly, would any man here throw away a committed good relationship with an 8, for one night with a 9? You guys can talk all the shit you want, but I already know what the real answer is.

    Last but not least, women do not think like men. A woman can think you are the greatest alpha ever even tho OBJECTIVELY you are not. If you have a strong reality/frame, she will pretty much anchor herself to you. She won’t really give any other guys an actual chance. If you are giving her tingles, she’ll only have eyes for you. It’s when you stop giving her tingles and start losing value that what you’re talking about may happen.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 2:39 pm
      Original Link

      “This is only true if there is no greater alpha or if there is some restraint upon the woman. There is always a bigger alpha somewhere.”

      This is true. But this is the solution for it:

      “A woman can think you are the greatest alpha ever even tho OBJECTIVELY you are not. If you have a strong reality/frame, she will pretty much anchor herself to you. She won’t really give any other guys an actual chance. If you are giving her tingles, she’ll only have eyes for you. It’s when you stop giving her tingles and start losing value that what you’re talking about may happen.”

      I’ve always said the one type of woman that’s impossible to seduce is the woman who sees her man as the highest value male around. Those girls won’t even let me get my foot in the door to demonstrate higher value than him. They’ll even apologize like “I’m sorry, I’m flattered really, but no” with a smile as I say hello, like it’s not even a possibility that they would give another guy a chance because they’ve already won the lottery in their mind and don’t have any interest in even entertaining the notion of other men.

      Objectively, her man isn’t the highest value man…there’s always some guy who’s higher value in society’s eyes. But that isn’t relevant because girls don’t run on logic, they run on emotion. If the girl believes that her man is the highest-value man for her, even if Brad Pitt walks into the room she’ll rationalize “sure he may be hot and rich but he’d be a one time thing and MY man will be around long-term and be a good father to our kids…besides I LIKE that my man isn’t a celebrity and doesn’t have to travel and deal with paparazzi and I like his belly it’s soft and cuddly etc.” and legitimately consider her man higher value even tho all of society would disagree with her objectively in the moment.

      How does that guy keep that value? The stuff listed above, about always working on yourself and your goals and all that shit…but also understanding that women ping off you for how to feel. “What you feel, she feels”. So if your internal frame is strong, even to the point of delusion, that you’re higher-value than Brad Pitt, she will believe that too.

      A big part of my game is massive unjustified confidence. In a high-end nightclub I’ll be hanging with a fucking DOCTOR, a guy who’s job is saving LIVES daily, who has an expensive beautiful condo and hits the gym daily etc and he’ll be scared to approach a girl because she’s hot. Or he’ll be talking to a girl and afterward ask me “do you think she likes me?” Like in his mind, despite his obvious massive value, he doesn’t believe he’s high value.

      Meanwhile I don’t have any of that but when the girl talks to me, in my mind I’m higher value than Clooney Pitt and Kanye combined, and to me the girl is lucky that she gets even a few minutes of my attention and that’s the confident vibe I give off, like she’s just won the jackpot even tho it’s not objectively based on anything.

      So she talks to both of us, and which of us do you think gets the attraction?

      Now if my doctor buddy stepped up and fully embraced his value, he would probably get the girl instead of me. But it’s SO fucking rare for a high value guy to fully believe he’s high value that it practically never happens. Even when it DOES happen, if I can chat with the dude and win him over and he sees me as a peer or higher-value, then the attraction is back to me…and this isn’t as hard to do as it might sound. Most high-value guys are nice dudes, not snobby dick-heads, and are happy to meet and befriend other high-value guys.

      The super alpha male badass who’s accomplished in all areas of life AND fully believes in his own worth IN all areas of life, is such a mythological creature that it’s not worth worrying about anymore than it’s worth worrying about a dragon taking your girl lol

      To bring this all back to the girl who won’t cheat, even if I believe I’m higher-value than her man, or even if all of society believes that, it doesn’t matter, because SHE believes he’s higher-value and she’ll rationalize away his faults and my assets, and will cut me off before I can even demonstrate value. She’s basically mentally on lockdown with her man…because all that matters is how SHE feels.

      Hypergamy is a perfectly logical and consistent concept…it just seems confusing and cold-hearted when you don’t understand it or when it burns you. When you understand it and embrace it instead of fighting it, you can make it work in your favor. I don’t need to BE higher-value than the other guys in the room…I just need her to feel like I am.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 3:53 pm
      Original Link

      “and her husband was a very high value alpha male with a lot of money and connections”

      Irrelevant.

      In THAT ENVIRONMENT, she didn’t view him as the highest-value guy there. It doesn’t matter if he just closed a billion dollar deal and drove her there in his Ferrari. If, when in the venue, there are men there who she feels are higher-value than him, Hypergamy is triggered.

      This is why bartenders clean up with women especially at the bar they work at…they aren’t high-value objectively, but in their environment they have high status and, to the girls who don’t view the bar scene as just silly nonsense, those bartenders have high-value.

      You’re too zoomed in. Zoom out and look at the bigger picture.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 4:12 pm
      Original Link

      “She’s still game if you make her forget her prince charming and make him look like the “nicer/needier” one in the moment.”

      This is what I’m saying.

      The catch is that you’re gaming bar chicks in a bar, where having bar-related value is high-value. Bring in a guy who doesn’t care for bars and doesn’t have as much value in one, and combine that with a girl who sees bar-related-value as high-value, and Hypergamy triggers.

      But take a girl who looks down on people in bars and who attributes low-value to anyone who’s in a bar regularly, and your value is gone to her and her non-bar-going man is higher-value to her.

      But that 2nd girl isn’t going to be IN a bar in the first place lol

      Extrapolate this concept to other areas…a legit gold-digger with a rich guy won’t have Hypergamy triggered by a poor guy because her value system is based around money so even if the other guy is attractive in general, she won’t let him get a foot in the door because he’s poor and her man is rich.

      Keep in mind that these are extreme cases. Most men are average and most women see the same things as high-value (dominance, leadership, sexuality, social proof, etc) so your bar-related attributes are high-value to most women. I’m just using the extremes for the sake of providing examples of the concept.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 4:19 pm
      Original Link

      Riding on my coattails yet AGAIN, Matt? Come on now, it’s getting old lol


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 5:14 pm
      Original Link

      @Matt

      “That “girl [who] isn’t going to be IN a bar in the first place lolâ€� — how do we game her?”

      Day-game, dipshit. You know, the thing PUAs have been promoting forever where you pick up girls outside of the bar.

      Seriously Matt, like read the most basic game 101 somewhere. I’m embarrassed for you every time I have to explain the newbie basics to you.

      “What kind of value do we have to achieve to attract her?”

      Same values. Thus the part where I said “most women see the same things as high-value (dominance, leadership, sexuality, social proof, etc) so your bar-related attributes are high-value to most women.”

      Is it just hard to see the screen with your head up your own ass, or do you get a boner off being willfully ignorant?


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 5:21 pm
      Original Link

      The part you don’t get is that you aren’t taking it far enough. You’re saying “if she was raised right she’ll never see certain things as high value and thus she’s a lock-in sure thing to be faithful”

      What I’m saying is that that same girl, if you created a situation where she valued your high-value attributes, would cheat just like any other hypergamous girl.

      That might mean becoming a social leader of her church group instead of at the bar. Or that might mean earning more money than her hubby. Or it could be on her end, like she goes through a period where she values things she didn’t before (she recently took up rock climbing and you happen to be a pro rock-climber and her hubby is out of shape and that didn’t matter to her before but now she sees rock-climbing and being active as high-value and you look more high-value than her hubby so Hypergamy kicks in).

      Your scope is too narrow because you’re trying to force a square peg into your religious hole and club to the Madonna/whore complex.

      Let go and see the bigger picture.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 6:40 pm
      Original Link

      “A woman can indeed make a principled decision independent of her crotchal passions”

      “I do think women are rational actors with free will and capable of self-discipline”

      lol that’s cute. I guess you’ve swallowed the feminist mantra full-out, hey? You going to replace the male staff in one of your successful businesses with an all-female staff anytime soon? I mean, women are rational actors with free will and capable of self-discipline, so that should work out fine, right?

      After that, we’ll have all the nice guys list their resumes to girls, because they can logically convince them that they’re the attractive choice. That always works!

      “but blowing up her 7 husband and all his long-term non-groin attributes just to slake her cunt on a 9 isn’t just abnormal behavior, but the exact opposite reaction is nearly automatic.”

      I would suggest that you have this view because you’ve never caused this kind of reaction in a woman. Don’t use FeministX’s lack of wanting to ditch her super-old boyfriend to bone your high-value wang as a yardstick for normal female behavior. Field experience is king…real field experience, not online blog flirting lol


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 7:21 pm
      Original Link

      alllllllllllll of this.


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 6:48 pm
      Original Link

      “A “Brad Pittâ€� would blow away the SMV of 99.9% of men walking around on the planet – no matter how perfect that husband was for some wife previous to laying eyes on Brad Pitt”

      This goes back to my Pokemon champion example. If a Pokemon champion walks into the room, no one gives a shit and he’s probably actively LOWER value BECAUSE he’s a Pokemon champion. So to a girl in the room, dating a guy who doesn’t play Pokemon, she doesn’t give a fuck.

      But have that same guy walk into a Pokemon convention, and he’s a god. A girl there, dating a guy who doesn’t play Pokemon, but who has posters of this Pokemon champion all over her walls and has read every article on him and in her life Pokemon is super important…if he created the right circumstances, she would fuck him.

      This just comes down to relative value.

      So taking that back to Brad Pitt: if the girl puts value in things like celebrity status, adventurous one night stand memories, Brad Pitt himself, etc then she’ll fuck him if he creates the right circumstances. But if she doesn’t follow celebrity news, loves stability in her life, has no interest in ONS (so she doesn’t value the attributes he has) and at the same time she values things like long-term commitment, fatherhood-potential, etc (so she values attributes he wouldn’t be able to provide for her), she’ll choose her hubby who has her relative values.

      Most women respond to the same general values (social dominance, leadership, confidence, etc) so again I’m talking about the extreme ends of the spectrum here…but understanding this concept allows you to apply the knowledge in various ways, like a way to AMOG would be to frame the AMOGs features as unattractive (“wow that guy has a 6-pack, that’s awesome but he must spend all his time in the gym. I dunno, I’d rather have a belly and actually live my life and date girls lol have you girls ever had a boyfriend who ignores you to hang out at the gym all the time? That doesn’t even make sense to me lol”). Or when you run into a stripper, you be extra dominant/assholeish because odds are her value system involves dominance. Or when you run into a nice virgin girl you slow-play it because you know she values a guy who won’t pressure her about sex, etc etc

      A lot of this is just calibrating to the girl and deciding which parts of your personality to focus on demonstrating (VS completely changing your behavior/beliefs based on the girl, which would be supplicative…it’s subtle but there’s a difference).


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 8:04 pm
      Original Link

      “There is no reason for his built-in disrespect/condescension towards them.”

      ooo, I like your new tactics lol between this and the “you hate women” move, you would make a great junior high-school girl.

      “We cannot characterize an entire sex as all-madonnas or all-whores.”

      “No matter an individual woman’s defenses, if they are not supported by family, faith, the outer culture, or by a single strong man’s expectations and dread-inducement, they will indeed become YaReally’s stark stereotype.”

      This doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just dealing with reality.

      “Without men’s conscious support, it is impossible for women to maintain virtue.”

      Make up your mind. Either women are capable of making logical rational choices or they aren’t. You’re basically agreeing that they aren’t and they need the support of men and their enviornment to make it possible. I’m saying that support no longer exists, except in your fantasy world in your head where you’re surrounded by madonnas, because you don’t go out and see what the world is really like these days.

      Maybe in some obscure corner of the bible belt, or in super-traditional EE places…but even then a lot of those girls won’t cheat simply because they aren’t presented the right opportunity to.

      Like I say, I think a big part of why guys still believe there are madonnas is because they haven’t got the skills to make girls ignore Brad Pitt for them.

      Jay in DC says:

      “I have had women so enamored with me that I was 100% certain if Brad Pitt walked into the room and said “lets fuckâ€� it simply would not have happened.”

      But instead of going “so logically, if my game was tighter, this would be a consistent thing”, he goes the opposite way and neutralizes it with “But using my own life as the metric this has been the exception, by far, not the rule.”

      All that means is that his game could be better. If when you throw a basketball properly at a hoop, it goes in, but you’ve only thrown a few perfect basketballs in your life, that doesn’t mean that “a basketball thrown properly will go in a hoop” is the exception to the rule. It means that 1) that is possible to do, and 2) if you practice and train enough, you can increase the likelihood of it happening. It’s illogical to come to the conclusion that it’s the exception to the rule when Michael Jordan can sink a dozen baskets in a row.

      This is why I say go out more, train harder, push your comfort zone, increase your skillset, and you’ll start seeing that 90% of the time when someone says “oh ya that might work on those bar sluts, but that’d never work on this high-quality good-girl I know”, that’s just them saying “I can’t do it or have never done it or haven’t seen it done consistently, so I assume no one else can either”.

      This is a skillset you can improve, not rolling dice.


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 8:13 pm
      Original Link

      “it doesn’t really tell us how much of that very different world you have mastered.”

      1) Go out and try it yourself, you’ll find out it’s not that hard.

      2) There’s plenty of in-field footage online.

      3) There are fucktons of PUA material written about day-game. There are entire bootcamps dedicated specifically just to day-game. There are PUAs who specifically ONLY do day-game, and have since the community started.

      4) The fact that you think day-game is somehow magical and different just shows that you don’t go out and do it.

      “In fact, I’d posit it is such a different world that your extrapolation of bar-tricks to areas where they don’t particularly apply (by appending “dayâ€� to “gameâ€�) is essentially evasive and/or fabricated.”

      Yes, you WOULD think that. Because you are mentally masturbating from your keyboard jockey chair. The only real difference between day and night game is that the sun is out. What do you think happens? “ohhh nooo the sun is out, I’m no longer attracted to men who are dominant!!!” lol The other key difference is internal, in that guys have a lot more baggage with day-game in terms of not being able to build up social momentum the way you can in a night-club because there are less people around, and a lot more insecurities come into play (like worrying that people will overhear you gaming the girl or getting shot down, worrying that you’ll get in trouble for harrassment because the environment isn’t as sexual as a nightclub, etc.)

      “I am not talking about cold approaches on the quad or bumping into a girl on the street. I am talking about every area of life in which the women aren’t already inebriated and advertising their availability.”

      No shit. Do you think Janice, the secretary at the office who’s married to some beta, doesn’t want to fuck her dominant boss who leads meetings and has every other secretary wanting to fuck him as he drops a little flirty innuendo here and there?

      Again, you’re just flaunting your inexperience.

      “What do you have for me?”

      Same advice I’ve always had for you. Go out and socialize. The same advice you always reject because you’re happier mentally masturbating.

      The fact that you don’t go out is specifically the reason why you don’t understand that yes, I CAN pull the “you don’t go out” rank card on you in these discussions and it carries weight. The guys who go out aren’t fooled by your flowery nonsense because a few weeks/months/years in the field makes it clear who’s jockeying from their keyboard.


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 9:52 pm
      Original Link

      @Amy

      “Can’t this all just be boiled down to “almost anyone will cheat (or be tempted to cheat) if the circumstances are rightâ€�?”

      Yep. Like I say, even if she’s super-religious, if you convince her that fucking you is something God wants her to do, she’ll do it, because you’re creating a circumstance where you have high value in her system of values. And a lot of “bar values” (social dominance, leadership of men, confidence, social proof, etc.) are universal outside of the bar (despite Matt thinking the sun and office air conditioning makes confidence no longer attractive lol).

      “But it will be much much harder to create those circumstances if the girl is starry eyed over her guy. I’ve experienced it and it’s like an attraction fog; you can’t see past how amazing he is to even TRY to evaluate anyone else.”

      Also agreed. A lot of guys probably read my “she won’t even give me the time of day to get my foot in the door” like “ohhh you got shot down lolol you suck”. But the reality is that if her man weren’t around, she would probably give me a chance, but she’s in that attraction fog where not only doesn’t she have an interest in TRYING to evaluate another man, but she’s ALSO pro-actively taking steps like you describe below, to prevent her from being around me long enough to risk me breaking through that fog, by trying to brush me off as fast as possible.

      “But for the sake of argument, let’s say a guy like YaReally can break through the fog. So now the girl feels attracted to him and has the temptation to cheat. But she now has the choice to remove herself from the temptation before it grows into something she might not be able to handle.”

      Right, and in THEORY this is along the lines of what Matt’s saying, where if her social conditioning is that she’ll be branded a slut and her man will leave her etc., like that there’ll be severe consequences for cheating, she’ll try to avoid it or remove herself from the situation.

      And that’s awesome. In THEORY. In the 1950s, that worked fine. But I’m dealing with reality, here in almost 2014. The world has changed.

      In this current reality, not only are there basically no consequences for a girl cheating, but girls are ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED to do it (eat, pray, love! You go grrrl!! this very article we’re commenting under, etc.). Women are encouraged by all of society, including men both feminist and gamers, to embrace their inner-slut and run with it and be empowered. No one will hold them to any kind of consequence. If their marriage breaks up, the government ensures that their ex-husband continues to pay them alimony and child-support while their entire circle of friends tells them she’s better off without that loser and that he was too controlling and insecure because he didn’t accept her cheating and stay with her, etc.

      Like, that’s the reality we, guys in the sexual marketplace, in almost 2014, are dealing with.

      This is why I don’t entertain the notion of the magical unicorn madonna. She’s so rare that it’s ridiculous to even care about…and there’s a large portion of girls who SEEM like madonnas, but only seem that way to the guys they hide their slutty side from.

      Pretty much any girl can tell you that only their BFF knows the super darkest sluttiest things they’ve done, that their male friends have no idea they’re even capable of. And if they haven’t done them, they’ve thought about or fantasized about them. A lot of my game is based around bringing this side out of the girl in a judgement-free environment so that I’m basically the only person in her life who’s seen that side of her. Her friends all think she’s an angel, while I’m doing things to her that would shatter their mind to imagine her even being capable of doing, let alone enjoying and wanting and coming back for more.

      And women know this about themselves. But guys fall for the “women aren’t like that” Disney bullshit and go off thinking the world is full of madonnas/whores…when really it’s just full of women who haven’t been presented an opportunity to, consequence-free, live out their darkest fantasies. Once you can provide that for a woman, the gates open up. This is why LMR-busting works…”we aren’t having sex tonight, I’m not that kind of girl!” she says, as she’s taking off her shirt. Meanwhile the guy who took her on 3 dates, or her beta orbiter, or even her alpha fuckbuddy who simply has hang-ups about certain sexual things, thinks she’s a good-girl, because they don’t create that situation for her where she can fully let go.

      “No girl is so paralyzed by her *initial* attraction to a guy that she can’t remove herself from alluring presence.”

      Technically this happens, but it takes a lot of value in the guy to do it. But women understand this about themselves so they have safety nets.

      Like girls go out in groups. Why? To keep eachother from getting sucked in off that initial attraction. GirlA is married to some lame guy but meets Mr.PUA, and Mr.PUA blows her mind…GirlA is practically hypnotized frozen in place like a deer in the headlights attracted, and Mr.PUA knows it’s on, but then out of nowhere GirlB storms in, grabs her friend and shouts “WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!!” and drags her off while she looks back at Mr.PUA even as she’s being dragged off.

      GirlB knows that she has to get GirlA away from Mr.PUA because she’s too overwhelmed by her emotions to make rational decisions anymore. She doesn’t come over and logically list reasons to the girl to not fuck Mr.PUA, and she doesn’t wait for GirlA to come to rational conclusions about how it could fuck up her marriage herself…she knows that GirlA is basically helpless and she needs to get her the fuck as far away as possible and bring her back to her senses so she can calm down and rationally consider things.

      But if GirlB wasn’t there? GirlA would be fucking Mr.PUA. It’s not that GirlA is a bad person, it’s that Mr.PUA’s game is tight and he triggered the right emotions and circumstances.

      Like I say, I think a lot of guys here who have trouble understanding how captivating you can be to a woman, have simply not been the Mr.PUA in that example, or haven’t been him consistently, and seen how powerful this shit is. They’ve been the orbiters or decent at pickup but not super-captivating, so they can’t relate to how helpless a woman who’s emotions are triggered properly really is. And women/society won’t acknowledge it because that goes against the feminist mindset that we’re brought up to believe in…but she’ll still bring GirlB out to the bar with her because she KNOWS.

      “Avoiding temptation is a big part of fidelity, isn’t it? It’s not pretty or flowery but it’s the truth. For men and women both.”

      There’s not much, if any, incentive to avoid temptation these days, is the crux of what I’m saying. Matt longs for a return to the 1950s where girls were shamed and disciplined for acting on their emotions. And that’s awesome, people probably were a lot more faithful back then (at least physically)…

      But that is not the world we live in right now. I’m dealing with reality, in the here and now, not a fantasy world or a rose-tinted memory of a former time.



Putting The Penis On A Pedestal

Original Link

via Heartiste

RappaccinisDaughter
on November 8, 2013 at 2:25 pm
Original Link

OK, so the source text…is this an example of “MGTOW”?

And if so, am I to understand that one of their core beliefs is that PUAs pedestalize women? Or is it just this guy who thinks that?


  • cynthia
    on November 8, 2013 at 3:01 pm
    Original Link

    Elam’s kind of discordant. On one hand, he’s for leveling the playing field in a legal sense (ie, paternity testing, reforming divorce laws, etc), and those are things that need to happen. On the other, he has this attitude that masculinity is not what defines a man, and that men need not strive to cultivate their masculinity. Leads to a lot of weird screeds against the rest of the manosphere that don’t make much sense.


    • YaReally
      on November 8, 2013 at 3:26 pm
      Original Link

      I heart Paul Elam and A Voice For Men. They’re doing good things in important MRA categories like addressing biased family courts and false rape accusations and divorce rape and all that shit that should be important even to PUAs as they get older and start realistically thinking about settling down and raising a family etc. And I like that Paul is outspoken and doesn’t try to play nice, because playing nice doesn’t get attention.

      He also fully subscribes to the same notion I do, that we’ll never win over the MSM or feminists or Blue Pill’ers, they will always slander and fight us. But for every hit-piece they run on us, a few men reading or watching it resonate with what we’re saying and they take a rational logical look at the information for themselves and it hits home and we gain a few more men on our side. He was willing to let himself personally get raped on 20/20 just to gain some exposure and reach more men. I have to respect that.

      But when it comes to game/PUA, that crowd is exactly the same as the Jezebel crowd. They don’t understand game because their experience was skimming a copy of The Game and listening to other people talk about how evil it is, and they extrapolate everything from there the same way feminists label MRAs as fedora-wearing neckbeards who can’t get laid and want women to live in the kitchen and then extrapolate everything from there.

      But it doesn’t matter lol PUA has been shit on since we left the underground. It’s just one big shit-test. :)

      Friday night, hope y’all are planning to go out and make some cute chicks happy. Remember: in the winter the girls with boyfriends are at home curled up with their BFs sipping hot chocolate in front of a fire…the girls shivering thru the cold in miniskirts to get to the bar are dying to meet a cool social guy for the winter so they don’t have to keep freezing their tits off in bar lineups. You can rescue them from their frozen nightmare starting with saying “hi”. ;)

      [CH: true about the winter. my most productive time of year is when jack frost reigns.]


      • Jay in DC
        on November 8, 2013 at 7:09 pm
        Original Link

        I feel like I could take a woman straight out from under your arm with brute force. I’ve done this before to dudes like you. You are an incredible mouth piece with all the right words, but unlike women, that shit only takes you so far with men particularly those like me. You are transparent to me I see through you completely. These are rare men that balance active aggression with a healthy dose of intelligence.

        This guy is basically calling MRA up on the carpet, and then eve better actively dogging PUA. You are, by any objective measure, a PUA. If you say otherwise you are pathologically retarded. But you are in this guy’s court? Really?!

        So he pulls your fucking card, publically, and even in MSM (had it aired) but you respect him? I know your type buddy. “Peacemaker”. It is the same reason I can always touch your face in public if I want, and they usually will come home with me. Lots of your stuff is useful but this shit is weak and not a defenseable position by any means.


        • YaReally
          on November 9, 2013 at 2:16 pm
          Original Link

          “I feel like I could take a woman straight out from under your arm with brute force.”

          I’m trying to decide whether to just respond with a “lol” or put in some time to actually break down why you wouldn’t be able to take my girls in-field, for people to learn from. For anyone who’s followed my AMOG writing, this is an example of what I mean when I say guys assume I’ll be easy to take girls from. This is exactly the kind of “I can take that little pussy’s girls with my macho manliness” guy that I run into in cowboy and biker bars where I clearly don’t belong and am clearly not the fighting type.

          You can absolutely take a girl from under my arm with brute force. I won’t even try to stop you. But she’ll end up back with me. :)

          “I’ve done this before to dudes like you.”

          No, you’ve done this before to dudes.

          “So he pulls your fucking card, publically, and even in MSM (had it aired) but you respect him?”

          You are insecure and looking at the small picture.

          Paul can say whatever he likes about PUAs. A 5yo probably has strong opinions on whether NASA’s next space shuttle should be piloted by a unicorn. It’s irrelevant, the 5yo doesn’t have enough knowledge of what she’s talking about for NASA scientists to care what she thinks or waste effort debating her.

          The activism he does with regards to men’s rights is solid. I can give props where it’s due.


          • YaReally
            on November 9, 2013 at 3:05 pm
            Original Link

            “And you should welcome this kind of real-time challenge because it makes you better.”

            Oh I DO welcome it. Do you know WHERE I welcome it? In the field. In real-time. By real-life people, for real-life rewards.

            Getting into an “if you said this I would say this” mental masturbation-fest online is silly. I know it would never convince the guy I’m writing to, the same way women think game won’t work on them because they’re special unique snowflakes. That’s why I say if I write it would be purely for other guys who deal with AMOGs to learn from.


          • YaReally
            on November 9, 2013 at 4:16 pm
            Original Link

            “But real AMOGging is reactive and unknowable, split second decisiveness with no “wit of the staircase” applicable. You cannot know how your opponent will react, or how his moves will throw you off kilter.”

            lol oh of COURSE not. Human beings are completely unpredictable. That’s why game doesn’t work, because feminists have told us that you can’t know how women will react because every woman is different and a unique special snowflake. You can’t break human behavior down into predictable patterns and responses to stimuli…I mean that’s why there’s no advertising industry, because people can’t be predicted. And forget about training in boxing or martial arts, you can’t predict how someone will react so you might as well not train. And driving, I mean, I just close my eyes when I drive cause who KNOWS what other people on the road will do when I turn on a signal light or my brake lights come on. You can’t know the unknowable!!!

            Anyone who considers online interactions the equivalent of real world interactions has spent too much time hitting on chicks on blogs lol

            But feel free to keep trying. I’ll be sure to read your scathing breakdowns of my psyche tomorrow, cause I have to go shower up for tonight soon. Tonight I’ll be heading to that “real world” place where I apply this stuff and will probably have to deal with an AMOG or two. :)


      • walawala
        on November 10, 2013 at 5:03 pm
        Original Link

        @YaReally I have a comment which I think has gotten lost somehow.


        • YaReally
          on November 12, 2013 at 2:10 pm
          Original Link

          Check down below!

          One thing I forgot to mention below: the “misinterpretation of events” she’s doing where she says you chased her into the elevator etc? Like where she’s rewriting history to make it sound like YOU were chasing HER and she’s the high-value one etc? Where you KNOW she’s full of shit and you’re DYING to text her and correct her with “no YOU chased ME that night”?

          That’s part of her Rolodex. :) because any news is good news. Sub-consciously she KNOWS that kind of thing will make you instinctively want to respond to correct her on how things actually went down so that you don’t sound like a big vagina. And any reply, even one saying “lol I wasn’t chasing you”, is success for her.

          Devious, isn’t it? :)



Putting The Penis On A Pedestal

Original Link

via Heartiste

RappaccinisDaughter
on November 8, 2013 at 2:25 pm
Original Link

OK, so the source text…is this an example of “MGTOW”?

And if so, am I to understand that one of their core beliefs is that PUAs pedestalize women? Or is it just this guy who thinks that?


  • cynthia
    on November 8, 2013 at 3:01 pm
    Original Link

    Elam’s kind of discordant. On one hand, he’s for leveling the playing field in a legal sense (ie, paternity testing, reforming divorce laws, etc), and those are things that need to happen. On the other, he has this attitude that masculinity is not what defines a man, and that men need not strive to cultivate their masculinity. Leads to a lot of weird screeds against the rest of the manosphere that don’t make much sense.


    • YaReally
      on November 8, 2013 at 3:26 pm
      Original Link

      I heart Paul Elam and A Voice For Men. They’re doing good things in important MRA categories like addressing biased family courts and false rape accusations and divorce rape and all that shit that should be important even to PUAs as they get older and start realistically thinking about settling down and raising a family etc. And I like that Paul is outspoken and doesn’t try to play nice, because playing nice doesn’t get attention.

      He also fully subscribes to the same notion I do, that we’ll never win over the MSM or feminists or Blue Pill’ers, they will always slander and fight us. But for every hit-piece they run on us, a few men reading or watching it resonate with what we’re saying and they take a rational logical look at the information for themselves and it hits home and we gain a few more men on our side. He was willing to let himself personally get raped on 20/20 just to gain some exposure and reach more men. I have to respect that.

      But when it comes to game/PUA, that crowd is exactly the same as the Jezebel crowd. They don’t understand game because their experience was skimming a copy of The Game and listening to other people talk about how evil it is, and they extrapolate everything from there the same way feminists label MRAs as fedora-wearing neckbeards who can’t get laid and want women to live in the kitchen and then extrapolate everything from there.

      But it doesn’t matter lol PUA has been shit on since we left the underground. It’s just one big shit-test. :)

      Friday night, hope y’all are planning to go out and make some cute chicks happy. Remember: in the winter the girls with boyfriends are at home curled up with their BFs sipping hot chocolate in front of a fire…the girls shivering thru the cold in miniskirts to get to the bar are dying to meet a cool social guy for the winter so they don’t have to keep freezing their tits off in bar lineups. You can rescue them from their frozen nightmare starting with saying “hi”. ;)

      [CH: true about the winter. my most productive time of year is when jack frost reigns.]


    • YaReally
      on November 9, 2013 at 2:16 pm
      Original Link

      “I feel like I could take a woman straight out from under your arm with brute force.”

      I’m trying to decide whether to just respond with a “lol” or put in some time to actually break down why you wouldn’t be able to take my girls in-field, for people to learn from. For anyone who’s followed my AMOG writing, this is an example of what I mean when I say guys assume I’ll be easy to take girls from. This is exactly the kind of “I can take that little pussy’s girls with my macho manliness” guy that I run into in cowboy and biker bars where I clearly don’t belong and am clearly not the fighting type.

      You can absolutely take a girl from under my arm with brute force. I won’t even try to stop you. But she’ll end up back with me. :)

      “I’ve done this before to dudes like you.”

      No, you’ve done this before to dudes.

      “So he pulls your fucking card, publically, and even in MSM (had it aired) but you respect him?”

      You are insecure and looking at the small picture.

      Paul can say whatever he likes about PUAs. A 5yo probably has strong opinions on whether NASA’s next space shuttle should be piloted by a unicorn. It’s irrelevant, the 5yo doesn’t have enough knowledge of what she’s talking about for NASA scientists to care what she thinks or waste effort debating her.

      The activism he does with regards to men’s rights is solid. I can give props where it’s due.


    • YaReally
      on November 9, 2013 at 3:05 pm
      Original Link

      “And you should welcome this kind of real-time challenge because it makes you better.”

      Oh I DO welcome it. Do you know WHERE I welcome it? In the field. In real-time. By real-life people, for real-life rewards.

      Getting into an “if you said this I would say this” mental masturbation-fest online is silly. I know it would never convince the guy I’m writing to, the same way women think game won’t work on them because they’re special unique snowflakes. That’s why I say if I write it would be purely for other guys who deal with AMOGs to learn from.


    • YaReally
      on November 9, 2013 at 4:16 pm
      Original Link

      “But real AMOGging is reactive and unknowable, split second decisiveness with no “wit of the staircase” applicable. You cannot know how your opponent will react, or how his moves will throw you off kilter.”

      lol oh of COURSE not. Human beings are completely unpredictable. That’s why game doesn’t work, because feminists have told us that you can’t know how women will react because every woman is different and a unique special snowflake. You can’t break human behavior down into predictable patterns and responses to stimuli…I mean that’s why there’s no advertising industry, because people can’t be predicted. And forget about training in boxing or martial arts, you can’t predict how someone will react so you might as well not train. And driving, I mean, I just close my eyes when I drive cause who KNOWS what other people on the road will do when I turn on a signal light or my brake lights come on. You can’t know the unknowable!!!

      Anyone who considers online interactions the equivalent of real world interactions has spent too much time hitting on chicks on blogs lol

      But feel free to keep trying. I’ll be sure to read your scathing breakdowns of my psyche tomorrow, cause I have to go shower up for tonight soon. Tonight I’ll be heading to that “real world” place where I apply this stuff and will probably have to deal with an AMOG or two. :)


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 2:10 pm
      Original Link

      Check down below!

      One thing I forgot to mention below: the “misinterpretation of events” she’s doing where she says you chased her into the elevator etc? Like where she’s rewriting history to make it sound like YOU were chasing HER and she’s the high-value one etc? Where you KNOW she’s full of shit and you’re DYING to text her and correct her with “no YOU chased ME that night”?

      That’s part of her Rolodex. :) because any news is good news. Sub-consciously she KNOWS that kind of thing will make you instinctively want to respond to correct her on how things actually went down so that you don’t sound like a big vagina. And any reply, even one saying “lol I wasn’t chasing you”, is success for her.

      Devious, isn’t it? :)



Putting The Penis On A Pedestal

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on November 10, 2013 at 5:02 pm
Original Link

Update: @YaReally and anyone interested in Elipses game….( not sure if these posts are actually getting lost)

My ex gf who I’ve been in No Contact with apart from Elipses game 10 days ago came out to our weekly event. I blanked her.

Then around 2am I get 3 texts: “What is …?”
“You disappeared from class” reference to blowing off a class we had signed up for
“You chased me out elevator, then disappeared” -Not true, more like I ran into her and then went back up. She came running back up only to see me chatting up with another girl.

Then, at 4am 2 calls 2 hours later–no message. And a final text: “you disappeared”.

I didn’t reply. Should I?

Is this just the hamster spinning out of control fueled by competitive anxiety and no contact? On that night it was my other ex gf’s birthday so we had a little ceremony for her.

So I followed your advice and just kept silent without taking any of this bait.

It just looks like an attempt to provoke a girl’s insatiable appetite for drama and conflict which put the guy in a position of losing hand and being in her frame.


  • YaReally
    on November 12, 2013 at 1:43 pm
    Original Link

    “I didn’t reply. Should I?”

    Nope.

    “Is this just the hamster spinning out of control fueled by competitive anxiety and no contact?”

    Yep. She’s just going thru the Rolodex.

    Because you slipped up and txted a “…”, she’s going to go thru the whole Rolodex all over again multiple times trying to figure out what combination of things caused the “…” response. Like I say, that “…” extended the Soft Next. If you hadn’t txted a “…” she might have given up by now. This is why No Contact means NO Contact lol

    To put it in perspective, imagine you’re trying to find a cure for cancer. You’ve tried almost everything you can think of with zero progress or success at all…then right as you’re about to throw your hands in the air and give up and admit defeat and failure, you mash your hands on the keyboard in frustration and go have a drink. When you come back, you notice the inkling of a successful result on your computer screen and you realized some combination of keys you mashed got the teeny tiniest bit of success finally.

    You would spend a MONTH trying every key on that keyboard in every combination possible trying to duplicate that bit of success so you could work out a cure from there…whereas if you hadn’t had any success at all, you would have given up that very night. That’s what your “…” did to her.

    Expect this to take a few months, unfortunately.


    • walawala
      on November 12, 2013 at 5:04 pm
      Original Link

      @YaReally What’s the end game? Seems that from a psychological perspective, two things are going on:

      1) She’s not used to being “Dumped” in the sense that she said “bye” and I left and “disappeared”. That doesnt’ fit with her sense of entitlement. I think she would like an “orbiter”.

      2) She’s got mixed feelings and any slip-up on my part would help to rationalize the decision to leave: either “angry” guy or “Beta” guy: ie lash back=angry, whew good think I dumped him or “pleading” =beta, wow he’s weaker than I thought good thing I dumped him.

      Silence only confirms that I was the alpha who she let get away?

      This is my first post-game break-up so I’m curious to understand how I handled it and how I could have improved.


      • YaReally
        on November 12, 2013 at 5:35 pm
        Original Link

        “Silence only confirms that I was the alpha who she let get away?”

        Basically. Remember the opposite of Love isn’t Hate, it’s Indifference.

        By going silent you remove her existence which means she has no effect on you good or bad, which is worse than having a bad effect on you. Like you might have a shitty dad who disciplines you and doesn’t let you have any fun and you might hate him…but an orphan will probably still be jealous of you cause at least you HAVE a dad, he has no one who cares about him and that can feel worse.

        Again you can take her back at any time. She will want you FOREVER after all of this. She would gladly come running back right now off one txt and make you dinner and bang your brains out and promise you the world.

        …but you’d be teaching the pitbull that when it bites it gets rewarded, as long as it bites hard and long enough. And you’d be taking your chances with the results of that, possibly with kids and a divorce on the line.

        This whole thing is just waiting for her to give up and accept that you can erase her from your reality if she misbehaves. Once she learns and truly accepts that, you can take her back and she will be afraid to give you that kind of drama again because she knows how losing you feels.

        That’s why the “…” sabotaged it…you’re basically starting over. She might have given up and you could have been back with her by now, but that “…” was petting the bulldog so now she’s not only trying the Rolodex again but trying it with “I KNOW I’m getting thru to him!!! He txted me that one time” in the back of her mind.

        That’s why I say this could be months. It could take 6 months before her hamster gives up now and you can finally get back together.

        Ordinarily you could Soft Next for a shorter period of time. It’s basically proportional to what type of girl she is, how serious you guys were, how big her Rolodex is, and how much drama she brought to the table and how many of your lines she crossed.

        So a random girl flaking on me might get a week of radio silence, no biggie. A fuckbuddy flaking on me a few times gets a few months of radio silence. A serious girl you could see a future with who did what she did to you with your celebration event and everything? That’s not a week-long Soft Next lol so like I say, mentally prepare for the long haul.

        It’s gonna suck going thru Xmas etc without her but ultimately it’s for your guys’ own good. Again you MIGHT lose her, it’s theoretically possible so I can’t guarantee shit…but it’s unlikely, because even if she started another relationship you are her “alpha widow” and you could get her back pretty easily.



Putting The Penis On A Pedestal

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on November 10, 2013 at 5:02 pm
Original Link

Update: @YaReally and anyone interested in Elipses game….( not sure if these posts are actually getting lost)

My ex gf who I’ve been in No Contact with apart from Elipses game 10 days ago came out to our weekly event. I blanked her.

Then around 2am I get 3 texts: “What is …?”
“You disappeared from class” reference to blowing off a class we had signed up for
“You chased me out elevator, then disappeared” -Not true, more like I ran into her and then went back up. She came running back up only to see me chatting up with another girl.

Then, at 4am 2 calls 2 hours later–no message. And a final text: “you disappeared”.

I didn’t reply. Should I?

Is this just the hamster spinning out of control fueled by competitive anxiety and no contact? On that night it was my other ex gf’s birthday so we had a little ceremony for her.

So I followed your advice and just kept silent without taking any of this bait.

It just looks like an attempt to provoke a girl’s insatiable appetite for drama and conflict which put the guy in a position of losing hand and being in her frame.


  • YaReally
    on November 12, 2013 at 1:43 pm
    Original Link

    “I didn’t reply. Should I?”

    Nope.

    “Is this just the hamster spinning out of control fueled by competitive anxiety and no contact?”

    Yep. She’s just going thru the Rolodex.

    Because you slipped up and txted a “…”, she’s going to go thru the whole Rolodex all over again multiple times trying to figure out what combination of things caused the “…” response. Like I say, that “…” extended the Soft Next. If you hadn’t txted a “…” she might have given up by now. This is why No Contact means NO Contact lol

    To put it in perspective, imagine you’re trying to find a cure for cancer. You’ve tried almost everything you can think of with zero progress or success at all…then right as you’re about to throw your hands in the air and give up and admit defeat and failure, you mash your hands on the keyboard in frustration and go have a drink. When you come back, you notice the inkling of a successful result on your computer screen and you realized some combination of keys you mashed got the teeny tiniest bit of success finally.

    You would spend a MONTH trying every key on that keyboard in every combination possible trying to duplicate that bit of success so you could work out a cure from there…whereas if you hadn’t had any success at all, you would have given up that very night. That’s what your “…” did to her.

    Expect this to take a few months, unfortunately.


    • YaReally
      on November 12, 2013 at 5:35 pm
      Original Link

      “Silence only confirms that I was the alpha who she let get away?”

      Basically. Remember the opposite of Love isn’t Hate, it’s Indifference.

      By going silent you remove her existence which means she has no effect on you good or bad, which is worse than having a bad effect on you. Like you might have a shitty dad who disciplines you and doesn’t let you have any fun and you might hate him…but an orphan will probably still be jealous of you cause at least you HAVE a dad, he has no one who cares about him and that can feel worse.

      Again you can take her back at any time. She will want you FOREVER after all of this. She would gladly come running back right now off one txt and make you dinner and bang your brains out and promise you the world.

      …but you’d be teaching the pitbull that when it bites it gets rewarded, as long as it bites hard and long enough. And you’d be taking your chances with the results of that, possibly with kids and a divorce on the line.

      This whole thing is just waiting for her to give up and accept that you can erase her from your reality if she misbehaves. Once she learns and truly accepts that, you can take her back and she will be afraid to give you that kind of drama again because she knows how losing you feels.

      That’s why the “…” sabotaged it…you’re basically starting over. She might have given up and you could have been back with her by now, but that “…” was petting the bulldog so now she’s not only trying the Rolodex again but trying it with “I KNOW I’m getting thru to him!!! He txted me that one time” in the back of her mind.

      That’s why I say this could be months. It could take 6 months before her hamster gives up now and you can finally get back together.

      Ordinarily you could Soft Next for a shorter period of time. It’s basically proportional to what type of girl she is, how serious you guys were, how big her Rolodex is, and how much drama she brought to the table and how many of your lines she crossed.

      So a random girl flaking on me might get a week of radio silence, no biggie. A fuckbuddy flaking on me a few times gets a few months of radio silence. A serious girl you could see a future with who did what she did to you with your celebration event and everything? That’s not a week-long Soft Next lol so like I say, mentally prepare for the long haul.

      It’s gonna suck going thru Xmas etc without her but ultimately it’s for your guys’ own good. Again you MIGHT lose her, it’s theoretically possible so I can’t guarantee shit…but it’s unlikely, because even if she started another relationship you are her “alpha widow” and you could get her back pretty easily.



Putting The Penis On A Pedestal

Original Link

via Heartiste

Hunter
on November 10, 2013 at 10:31 pm
Original Link

Weekend FR:

We and my wing head out to a club I hadn’t been to in months. Lots of kino and dancing, nothing remarkable. I talk to this chick for a while, her bf shows up and she apologizes. Her bf gets mad at her for flirting with me. I lol.

And then I head to another bar area and I proceed to fuckup two pretty much guaranteed ONS’s. These happened basically near last call.

Me: (to Mexican HB7 coming out of bar): YOU. Who are you?
HB7Mex: Hi… (eyes get huge).
Me: What are you doing here?
HB7Mex: Hanging out with my friend.
(Friend giggles, my wing comes in)
Me: You’re a nurse, aren’t you?
HB7Mex: I’m… actually a pediatrician.
Me: See? I can tell. It was destiny. You’re my girlfriend now.
(Do some kino, blah blah blah)
Me: … So what do you do for fun?
HB7Mex: I dance.
Me: Like this? (rubbing my ass on her)
HB7Mex: Uhhhh… no, I do this Mexican style of dance (yup, we were already in comfort. And I cluelessly ignored that fact).
(Wing jumps in)
Wing: I’m cold, why don’t you hug me? (Hugs my target… yeah…)
HB7Mex: Uhhh, maybe you should hug my friend. This is my boyfriend (looks at me)
Me: … (lol yup, I’m retarded…)
Wing: (some words I forget)
HB7.5Mex: Alright we’re gonna go. Bye guys.

And if it wasn’t bad enough…

Cute girl (HB7.5) I meet outside a bar. (Honestly, I’m not sure how to rate these girls. I would definitely bang them and show them off to friends, but they’re definitely not models… and they could look MORE attractive… so I dunno, I think there’s a CH post in here with ratings and numbers, I’ll try to dig it up. I recall Scray breaking it down.
EDIT: Sample rating scale: http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=17604)
Me: Hey, what’re you up to?
HB7.5: I’m like, hanging outside. My friends are inside :)
Me: Yo, do you smoke (weed)?
HB7.5: TOTALLY. My house is like 10 mins away.
Me: We should totally smoke sometime.

Intros to friends, we exchange numbers. I leave.
Sent a weird text the next morning, she doesn’t respond.

Saturday night proves to be quite a hilarious (and annoyingly expensive) adventure. After watching this video:

Pretty much got the idea (why can’t I just have fun?) and from that the night was set. Opened a few sets at a bar (why aren’t you dancing? etc.) things went okay. Went upstairs to the dancefloor, started dancing with all the girls. Did kino and I run into an HB8 (later found out that she was a stripper) and yeah… things got crazy lol

Made friends with two fatties pretending to be in love with them, told them to come on the dancefloor. Dance/chat with a few other girls (everybody’s watching me, seriously lol) rub my ass on every chick. I’m with two wings and they’re kinda stifled (one’s a bit drunk). I dance on stripper, asks her how good she is at dancing. She just dances… she was fucking hot lol. Decent face, tiny waist, nice tits and ass… dolled up, high heels… sorry I’m mentally masturbating over this, but it gets better.

SO at one point she starts circling me, never giving me eye contact, but still in my general area. Then I’m like, eh this is boring and she comes closer to me but I reject her for the two fatties who make their way on the dancefloor I befriended earlier. So she’s like “Wtf?” and I’m like lol I don’t care hahaha

Danced with the fatties, and she moves to talk to some other dude (I swear everyone in the bar/dancefloor was a chode). I pretend to not see her and I’m just enjoying myself. She brings the loser dude onto the dancefloor and I’m like “wow this is my competition? HA” and I just dance with some other girls. Talked to an older married chick, turns me down, but says I’m cute. I’m just spouting lines to random girls, and she’s literally going up to different dudes and like, trying to get with them or something, I dunno… I later find out she is drunk (ish?). Anyway, this is early in the night, I think (like 12) and whatever, she passes me again, the fatties are pissed cuz they can see I’m a player (lol). I grab StripperHB8, put her hands around my neck, grab her waist, and I try to makeout. She turns her cheek to me. I do this several times and she won’t let me kiss her (apparently this is a thing with strippers, according to one of my wings). After dancing a bit:

HB8: I’m gonna go outside and smoke.
Me: Okay, I’ll be here (wait, what?)… I mean, I’ll join you.
HB8: Let’s go.

We go downstairs and outside:

Me: Look, you’re hot, I get that, but what else can you do? Like you’re a human (?).
HB8: I am a human. I’m a cheerleader. (drunk lol)
Me: Oh great, you’re a ditsy cheerleader.
HB8: I’m not ditzy!

Creep from inside the club apparently followed us cuz he’s outside again. Instantly HB8 turns to him and has her back to me. Im like lol… I honestly forgot what I said here, but somehow she responds:

HB8: Kim Kardasian? Kim Kardashian’s fat. I’m skinny. I have abs.
Me: (grabbing her flat stomach) POOCHY, POOCHY, POOCHY LOL
HB8: I am 110 lbs!
Me: Oh really? (I carry her in my arms, she grabs onto me) Oh.. hmm… pretty light. God you’re so cute.
HB8: I only like Kanye.
Me: I AM fucking Kanye!
HB8: … I have a boyfriend. He’s rich. He buys me things.
Me: … Uhhhh, I don’t wanna be your boyfriend, I like having fun. You can keep him. I wish I was you I want presents too.
(This is all while the creep is just standing there with us outside lol wtf)
She talks to creep about her bf. I get bored and go back inside. Then I think wtf, I can just take her off of him. Stood there for 5 mins thinking about whether that would look needy… then I think, fuck it, why not.

I go back outside, they’re like huddled in front of another bar, not far from where we were standing. I grab her hand, she sees me, takes my hand and we head back inside.

I say she should drink water, and she’s like NOOOO, I want Patron!. So she asks for two shots:

Lady Bartender: That’ll be 18 dollars.
Me: …
HB8: …
Me: Well?
HB8: He’s got it.
Me: Uggh… fine. (I figure why not, why stall the pickup and act retarded over a shot? Not like I offered it for no reason like most guys. Reluctantly paid. Key difference to me at least).
Lady Bartender: lol

We’re grabbing each other’s asses. I try to kiss her again. Denied. We take the shots.

Me: I wanna go dance.
Arm in arm, we head upstairs to the dancefloor. Instantly lets go of me and runs to some short black dude (she has a thing for black guys and I’m guessing her bf is also black) and he’s with his friends so lol I rub my ass on her and she’s like “No get away” ignoring me. So I’m like whatever. My wings are still here so I go dance with them.

She runs back to me and grabs my hand. We dance. I try to kiss her again. Denied. She turns around and grinds on me. I can’t believe a girl this hot is dancing on me like this. We go to the speakers next to the booths and she’s grinding on me again. Feeling awesome:

HB8: Let me get on your back! Piggyback!
Me: Okay.
She gets on my back, chokes me, screams and shit, I put her down.
Me: Alright, I’m tired, go dance.
HB8 lays down in the booth. I get on top of her and try to kiss her again. I get the cheek.

I get off of her and she pushes me on the seat, gets on top of me and dry humps me lol. I concluded the sex would’ve been awesome.

HB8: Do you have a big black cock?
Me: Yes.
After a bit more of that and EVERYBODY looking at us, HB8 pulls me out and says we should go back to her hotel. I’m like, sure (!!!!) This is like… a dream come true. Never in a million years would I have thought that this would be happening with a girl this hot…

I carry her down the stairs (she says “Wheee I’m a princess” lol) and I’m somehow banned from this bar for the rest of the night because of it (???) and I lose my ticket and can’t get my coat.

We get into a taxi, she gets into the front seat and I’m in the back. She just jumps in and I’m like… OKAY…

She starts crying about her boyfriend (also her manager) and her shitty life as a stripper, dancing on scumbags. I comfort her (I guess?) by just telling her some personal stuff of mine. Her life is way worse, so I’m like, man, that sucks… not sure what else I can say.

We make it to her hotel room and just as things get interesting… she can’t find her hotel key. I’m like… how can you lose that? Me still being realistic, I think that she’s probably done this before and her friends most likely have her key to prevent her from being an idiot (aka cheat on her bf). As if on cue, her friends show up five mins later and say “You’re not supposed to bring random strangers to our hotel!. I just bow out lol… I can’t help but feel that I could’ve charmed them and gotten in anyway. Oh well, didn’t get a chance to test that hypothesis. Or if I lived NEARBY or gotten to a motel or SOMETHING… I honestly wasn’t thinking ahead… bringing two condoms was the EXTEND of my planning lol

And YUP paid for the cab to and from her hotel lol. I go game some other girls in a different bar, but eh they’re okay. Like, 6′s.

And that was my awesome almost lay report lol. Lost 3 ONS’s in one weekend. Better luck next time…


  • YaReally
    on November 12, 2013 at 2:03 pm
    Original Link

    lololololllol awesome. This was great. Massive props for pushing your comfort zone lol

    It was possible to fuck the stripper but it would have taken a certain style/intensity of game that you’re not at right now…basically you did good but got in over your head into a situation that you don’t have the experience to handle yet. NO BIG DEAL at all, that’s just a natural part of learning, there is still a TON you can take away from that interaction. You handled a LOT of her shit-tests beautifully.

    Will do a full-out breakdown on all of this, check back before the weekend. Awesome stuff man, your game is looking better, you’re displaying your personality to girls more.



Putting The Penis On A Pedestal

Original Link

via Heartiste

Hunter
on November 10, 2013 at 10:31 pm
Original Link

Weekend FR:

We and my wing head out to a club I hadn’t been to in months. Lots of kino and dancing, nothing remarkable. I talk to this chick for a while, her bf shows up and she apologizes. Her bf gets mad at her for flirting with me. I lol.

And then I head to another bar area and I proceed to fuckup two pretty much guaranteed ONS’s. These happened basically near last call.

Me: (to Mexican HB7 coming out of bar): YOU. Who are you?
HB7Mex: Hi… (eyes get huge).
Me: What are you doing here?
HB7Mex: Hanging out with my friend.
(Friend giggles, my wing comes in)
Me: You’re a nurse, aren’t you?
HB7Mex: I’m… actually a pediatrician.
Me: See? I can tell. It was destiny. You’re my girlfriend now.
(Do some kino, blah blah blah)
Me: … So what do you do for fun?
HB7Mex: I dance.
Me: Like this? (rubbing my ass on her)
HB7Mex: Uhhhh… no, I do this Mexican style of dance (yup, we were already in comfort. And I cluelessly ignored that fact).
(Wing jumps in)
Wing: I’m cold, why don’t you hug me? (Hugs my target… yeah…)
HB7Mex: Uhhh, maybe you should hug my friend. This is my boyfriend (looks at me)
Me: … (lol yup, I’m retarded…)
Wing: (some words I forget)
HB7.5Mex: Alright we’re gonna go. Bye guys.

And if it wasn’t bad enough…

Cute girl (HB7.5) I meet outside a bar. (Honestly, I’m not sure how to rate these girls. I would definitely bang them and show them off to friends, but they’re definitely not models… and they could look MORE attractive… so I dunno, I think there’s a CH post in here with ratings and numbers, I’ll try to dig it up. I recall Scray breaking it down.
EDIT: Sample rating scale: http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=17604)
Me: Hey, what’re you up to?
HB7.5: I’m like, hanging outside. My friends are inside :)
Me: Yo, do you smoke (weed)?
HB7.5: TOTALLY. My house is like 10 mins away.
Me: We should totally smoke sometime.

Intros to friends, we exchange numbers. I leave.
Sent a weird text the next morning, she doesn’t respond.

Saturday night proves to be quite a hilarious (and annoyingly expensive) adventure. After watching this video:

Pretty much got the idea (why can’t I just have fun?) and from that the night was set. Opened a few sets at a bar (why aren’t you dancing? etc.) things went okay. Went upstairs to the dancefloor, started dancing with all the girls. Did kino and I run into an HB8 (later found out that she was a stripper) and yeah… things got crazy lol

Made friends with two fatties pretending to be in love with them, told them to come on the dancefloor. Dance/chat with a few other girls (everybody’s watching me, seriously lol) rub my ass on every chick. I’m with two wings and they’re kinda stifled (one’s a bit drunk). I dance on stripper, asks her how good she is at dancing. She just dances… she was fucking hot lol. Decent face, tiny waist, nice tits and ass… dolled up, high heels… sorry I’m mentally masturbating over this, but it gets better.

SO at one point she starts circling me, never giving me eye contact, but still in my general area. Then I’m like, eh this is boring and she comes closer to me but I reject her for the two fatties who make their way on the dancefloor I befriended earlier. So she’s like “Wtf?” and I’m like lol I don’t care hahaha

Danced with the fatties, and she moves to talk to some other dude (I swear everyone in the bar/dancefloor was a chode). I pretend to not see her and I’m just enjoying myself. She brings the loser dude onto the dancefloor and I’m like “wow this is my competition? HA” and I just dance with some other girls. Talked to an older married chick, turns me down, but says I’m cute. I’m just spouting lines to random girls, and she’s literally going up to different dudes and like, trying to get with them or something, I dunno… I later find out she is drunk (ish?). Anyway, this is early in the night, I think (like 12) and whatever, she passes me again, the fatties are pissed cuz they can see I’m a player (lol). I grab StripperHB8, put her hands around my neck, grab her waist, and I try to makeout. She turns her cheek to me. I do this several times and she won’t let me kiss her (apparently this is a thing with strippers, according to one of my wings). After dancing a bit:

HB8: I’m gonna go outside and smoke.
Me: Okay, I’ll be here (wait, what?)… I mean, I’ll join you.
HB8: Let’s go.

We go downstairs and outside:

Me: Look, you’re hot, I get that, but what else can you do? Like you’re a human (?).
HB8: I am a human. I’m a cheerleader. (drunk lol)
Me: Oh great, you’re a ditsy cheerleader.
HB8: I’m not ditzy!

Creep from inside the club apparently followed us cuz he’s outside again. Instantly HB8 turns to him and has her back to me. Im like lol… I honestly forgot what I said here, but somehow she responds:

HB8: Kim Kardasian? Kim Kardashian’s fat. I’m skinny. I have abs.
Me: (grabbing her flat stomach) POOCHY, POOCHY, POOCHY LOL
HB8: I am 110 lbs!
Me: Oh really? (I carry her in my arms, she grabs onto me) Oh.. hmm… pretty light. God you’re so cute.
HB8: I only like Kanye.
Me: I AM fucking Kanye!
HB8: … I have a boyfriend. He’s rich. He buys me things.
Me: … Uhhhh, I don’t wanna be your boyfriend, I like having fun. You can keep him. I wish I was you I want presents too.
(This is all while the creep is just standing there with us outside lol wtf)
She talks to creep about her bf. I get bored and go back inside. Then I think wtf, I can just take her off of him. Stood there for 5 mins thinking about whether that would look needy… then I think, fuck it, why not.

I go back outside, they’re like huddled in front of another bar, not far from where we were standing. I grab her hand, she sees me, takes my hand and we head back inside.

I say she should drink water, and she’s like NOOOO, I want Patron!. So she asks for two shots:

Lady Bartender: That’ll be 18 dollars.
Me: …
HB8: …
Me: Well?
HB8: He’s got it.
Me: Uggh… fine. (I figure why not, why stall the pickup and act retarded over a shot? Not like I offered it for no reason like most guys. Reluctantly paid. Key difference to me at least).
Lady Bartender: lol

We’re grabbing each other’s asses. I try to kiss her again. Denied. We take the shots.

Me: I wanna go dance.
Arm in arm, we head upstairs to the dancefloor. Instantly lets go of me and runs to some short black dude (she has a thing for black guys and I’m guessing her bf is also black) and he’s with his friends so lol I rub my ass on her and she’s like “No get away” ignoring me. So I’m like whatever. My wings are still here so I go dance with them.

She runs back to me and grabs my hand. We dance. I try to kiss her again. Denied. She turns around and grinds on me. I can’t believe a girl this hot is dancing on me like this. We go to the speakers next to the booths and she’s grinding on me again. Feeling awesome:

HB8: Let me get on your back! Piggyback!
Me: Okay.
She gets on my back, chokes me, screams and shit, I put her down.
Me: Alright, I’m tired, go dance.
HB8 lays down in the booth. I get on top of her and try to kiss her again. I get the cheek.

I get off of her and she pushes me on the seat, gets on top of me and dry humps me lol. I concluded the sex would’ve been awesome.

HB8: Do you have a big black cock?
Me: Yes.
After a bit more of that and EVERYBODY looking at us, HB8 pulls me out and says we should go back to her hotel. I’m like, sure (!!!!) This is like… a dream come true. Never in a million years would I have thought that this would be happening with a girl this hot…

I carry her down the stairs (she says “Wheee I’m a princess” lol) and I’m somehow banned from this bar for the rest of the night because of it (???) and I lose my ticket and can’t get my coat.

We get into a taxi, she gets into the front seat and I’m in the back. She just jumps in and I’m like… OKAY…

She starts crying about her boyfriend (also her manager) and her shitty life as a stripper, dancing on scumbags. I comfort her (I guess?) by just telling her some personal stuff of mine. Her life is way worse, so I’m like, man, that sucks… not sure what else I can say.

We make it to her hotel room and just as things get interesting… she can’t find her hotel key. I’m like… how can you lose that? Me still being realistic, I think that she’s probably done this before and her friends most likely have her key to prevent her from being an idiot (aka cheat on her bf). As if on cue, her friends show up five mins later and say “You’re not supposed to bring random strangers to our hotel!. I just bow out lol… I can’t help but feel that I could’ve charmed them and gotten in anyway. Oh well, didn’t get a chance to test that hypothesis. Or if I lived NEARBY or gotten to a motel or SOMETHING… I honestly wasn’t thinking ahead… bringing two condoms was the EXTEND of my planning lol

And YUP paid for the cab to and from her hotel lol. I go game some other girls in a different bar, but eh they’re okay. Like, 6’s.

And that was my awesome almost lay report lol. Lost 3 ONS’s in one weekend. Better luck next time…


  • YaReally
    on November 12, 2013 at 2:03 pm
    Original Link

    lololololllol awesome. This was great. Massive props for pushing your comfort zone lol

    It was possible to fuck the stripper but it would have taken a certain style/intensity of game that you’re not at right now…basically you did good but got in over your head into a situation that you don’t have the experience to handle yet. NO BIG DEAL at all, that’s just a natural part of learning, there is still a TON you can take away from that interaction. You handled a LOT of her shit-tests beautifully.

    Will do a full-out breakdown on all of this, check back before the weekend. Awesome stuff man, your game is looking better, you’re displaying your personality to girls more.



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

man reader
on November 6, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Original Link

CH and the commentariat, please evaluate this text game. I think I’ve had a breakthrough. Results posted at the end. I violated a few of y’all’s rules (e.g., dinner at a nice restaurant with chick I have not banged), but I think it’s calibrated for this (shy/nice/latina) girl.

BACKGROUND: Super hot true HB9 beauuuutiful latina. Age 31, mother of one, looks like she’s 24. 5’5”, 112, tiny little girl, perfect legs and skin tone—super duper hot. Looks like Adriana Lima. Loooong black hair—very feminine as the Latinas still sometimes are. My type. Seriously looks like Adriana Lima as much as one could find in a regular nonfamous person on the street, but even better IMO as I’m 5’11” and Lima is too tall. Met her on match—which I’m no longer even on—about 6 weeks ago. Had daytime coffee date. Went well enough. Texted very sparingly the past 6 weeks. She declined a few offers to hang out with excuses, but never totally blew me off. After about 3 weeks of no contact (not from me either—did a good job of forgetting this girl), SHE reinitiated contact a few weeks ago, asking for another coffee date. I got the idea to do the following yesterday at 11 AM:

TEXTS:

Me: [Her Name] let’s go out tonight

Her (10 min later): Hey [my name] yes we can go out tonight (she has a cute Spanish accent)

Me (20 min later): Que maravillosa. I will pick u up at 8 (note: I speak Spanish to her from time to time because I can and latina girls think I’m lindo)

Her (15 min later): I’ll confirm you the time later ok?

Me (45 min later): okey dokie

Me (2 hours later): Ok so 7? I just can’t wait to see you!!!!!! (note: this is sarcasm and I think she gets it; in past texts I have said over-the-top stuff like “mi corazon espinado!!!” –look it up if you don’t speak Spanish– when she has made excuses not to meet up—I actually think she thinks it’s cute and it doesn’t hurt me because I text her once every 4 weeks—she gets sarcasm not beta infatuation)

Her (1 hour later): Ok, I’ll be in [trendy downtown area] so we can meet there ok?

Me (30 min later): ok

Her (90 min later): Where and when shall we meet in [downtown trendy area]?

(HERE IS WHERE I THINK YAREALLY GETS SLIGHTLY PROUD OF ME)

Me (20 min later): [cool steak restaurant]. 8. Is your little black dress clean?

(edit: I swear to god I did this literally because I wanted to see her in a little black dress—for ME, I swear to god, and also little black dress is super fun to slide hands up later on my couch—she has killer legs—FOR ME, I wanted her to wear a little black dress)

Her (4 min later): Yes it is, but is cold today! So I am not sure if I should wear it ; )

Me (14 min later): I will keep you warm. But we can do jeans if u want.

Me (7 min later): wait no u should ; )

Her (10 min later): Ok… ; ) (note: #winning by me )

Me (15 min later): Yay! See u soon

Me (30 min later while walking dog before date): It is indeed weird windy weather, but no te preocupes I will protect you. Meet in front of [other restaurant a few blocks away] and walk or are your heels too high?

(note: indeed was weird stormy weather, big wind gusts, going on 3 days now…yet she did not flake)

Her (4 min later): Do you mind pick me uo (sic) at my driends (sic) house that is [nearby fancy neighborhood]?

Me (20 min later): Even better , getting in elevator will call

RESULT: That was the last text. Picked her up as planned. She was SMOKIN’ in the little black dress. I told her “I like your shoes.” Had good dinner, good conversation, went back to my apartment after with no resistance from her, maid came yesterday so my apartment was sweet (but my stupid dog was annoying), served her a good beer without asking immediately upon entering, put on music, talked for a while, did some dancing (she’s a latina…did some proper ballroom type dancing on my balcony) (kino, which I had done all through dinner too—touching her hand etc). She grabs some dumbbells on my balcony and starts doing military presses in her heels and dress—kill me… she’s fucking hot. Asks how to train back…told her sorry but the thing she was doing is not it and she has to bend over and do lat raises (as we all know)…she does this in her little black dress and 4 inch heels. Kill me. Waited a bit too long but eventually did go in for the kiss. I actually though would be a bang…she was so hot in that little black dress….she pulled away though, but seemed genuinely apologetic….was first date, she wants to get to know me….. I flat told her you know I had to make a move or she’d wrongly think I was too shy. She was, like, looking in my eyes and gushing what a good time she was having and basically apologizing but sort of saying she just won’t have sex on first date and she’s having a lot of fun getting to know me and basically saying there will be a future date. After that she asked me to play guitar for her which I did until about 1 AM (she was impressed, because I can indeed play guitar), but then she made me drive her home instead of her staying, but she was gushing about what a good time she had, not in the (I think) usual be-polite-to-a-beta way.

So there it is….thoughts? I plan radio silence for 5 days now.


  • YaReally
    on November 7, 2013 at 1:28 am
    Original Link

    I’m not shitting on you, ’cause you did some stuff nice and solid and it sounds like it was a fun date, but you fucked yourself over by thinking the rules don’t apply to you and ended up in a frame I don’t think you realize you’re in lol:

    “I violated a few of y’all’s rules (e.g., dinner at a nice restaurant with chick I have not banged), but I think it’s calibrated for this (shy/nice/latina) girl.”

    Did you get the lay? No…so what DID you get? Let’s look at it objectively: You got milked for dinner/drinks, teased and left with blue-balls, having to drive her home, and the “chance” for another date where you can spend more money on her while she “gets to know you”.

    You are on the Provider Track. You might still bang her, but she’s probably going to milk a couple dates out of you and try to make you date her as a monogamous BF/GF before putting out, or turn you into an Orbiter.

    The rules exist for a reason. They’re to keep you off of the Provider Track.

    Key points:

    “She declined a few offers to hang out with excuses, but never totally blew me off. After about 3 weeks of no contact”

    She was probably fucking someone else.

    “SHE reinitiated contact a few weeks ago, asking for another coffee date.”

    Shit probably didn’t work out with that dude, so she’s looking for a replacement.

    “I actually think she thinks it’s cute and it doesn’t hurt me”

    Did she fuck you, or is she making you wait?

    “she gets sarcasm not beta infatuation”

    She blew you off a few times until you gave up, then snapped her fingers and you jumped to instantly respond with stuff like “I just can’t wait to see you!!!!!” and offering to take her to expensive dinners. Combine that with how if she’s super hot, most guys she meets say that stuff but mean it for REAL, and, well, you can’t really be sure she’s reading it as sarcasm, esp via text. She’s seeing it from her perspective, not yours.

    I’m not saying this kind of texting specifically killed you, but why roll the dice like that, you know?

    “Me (20 min later): [cool steak restaurant]. 8. Is your little black dress clean?”

    This is super-solid. I approve.

    “I swear to god I did this literally because I wanted to see her in a little black dress—for ME”

    It was a big turning point for me when I started telling girls what to wear and that I expect them to doll-up for me. I was socially conditioned to believe that was rude and shallow, but dolled-up chicks get me rock hard so after hooking up with enough girls who’d show up dressed in plain clothes I decided to start being a dick about it. I tell them it’s because I’m shallow and spent too much time in stripclubs when I was younger lol

    Most chicks like dressing up for a guy. The worry about “will he like how I look? Is this what he wanted??” is fun to them. They stress about it the whole way to the meet, and then when you see them you give them the slow down and up checkout with your eyes, tell them they look gorgeous, and relieve all that tension they had over it. That’s a fun emotional rollercoaster for them that the guy who says “I love all women no matter what they look like” doesn’t give them. And it’s something a high-value man who has options and can BE picky/demanding, would do.

    “Her (4 min later): Yes it is, but is cold today! So I am not sure if I should wear it ; )”

    Solid response. She’s shit-testing to see if you’ll back down or demand she wear it.

    “Me (14 min later): I will keep you warm. But we can do jeans if u want.”

    ergh…that first sentence was beautiful. The second was like going “mmmm when I see you, I’m going to pin you up against the wall and run my hand slowly down your body as I bite your neck…….IF THAT’S COOL WITH YOU! IF NOT WE CAN DO SOMETHIN ELSE?? LEMME KNOW LOLOL!!”

    lol. Like, don’t back down or go wishy-washy when you make demands. Let HER bring up “is it okay if I wear jeans? It’s cold :( ” and then you can say “hmmm, alright. But you owe me a night of sexy lingerie in the future. ;)

    “Me (7 min later): wait no u should ; )”
    “Me (15 min later): Yay! See u soon”

    This just kind of enhances the wishy-washy…”Wear a sexy outfit. Well, it’s okay if you don’t. No wait, you should! You will?? YAY!!!!”

    I know to you the “Yay!” thing isn’t super gay and is just sarcasm, but…well, did she fuck you or is she making you wait?

    “maid came yesterday so my apartment was sweet”

    This kind of stuff, while bad-ass, helps put you on the Provider Track because you’re clearly a guy with money and all his shit together etc. and she’s a single mom with The Wall approaching.

    I actually leave my room a bit messy, to help avoid being seen as a Provider. It’s part of why I don’t mind living with a roommate and not having a car either. Combine all that with not taking them out for dinners etc., and women know not to bother putting me on the slow Provider Track, and I get to skip all that and get right to fucking.

    “Waited a bit too long but eventually did go in for the kiss.”

    Try kissing her as soon as you two meet up, on future Day 2′s, to set the tone. Like she walks out in her little black dress and you can look her down and up, eye-fuck her, tell her she looks gorgeous, cut the space, hand on her cheek, and give her a light kiss, with a “Couldn’t resist. ;) Let’s go.” and lead her to wherever, arm-in-arm.

    The longer you wait to set a sexual tone, the more awkward it feels to go in for the kiss. In my early days I actually went entire Day 2′s without any action, not even kissing, because I didn’t set a sexual tone fast enough and it felt too awkward lol Of course the girls often wouldn’t bother wanting to hang out again since I demonstrated I was too chickenshit to pull the trigger lol

    “I actually though would be a bang…she was so hot in that little black dress….she pulled away though”

    lol, ya, I figured this would be the result when I read that she came back to your apartment without any resistance and when I read that you hadn’t kissed her yet. She knew she was in control of the situation and that you weren’t really a sexual threat so she knew she could tease you for a bit (the dumbbell stuff) and leave you hanging with blue-balls but dying to see her again. Girls who are worried they’re going to bang put up some resistance going back to the guy’s apartment…this girl knew she wasn’t going to bang you tonight.

    Note that this whole thing is you chasing her. You asked to set up a date, you picked her up, you took her to dinner/drinks (did you pay or split the bill?), you drooled all over her dress, you invited her over and gave her beer, you had your place nice and clean to impress her (at least from her point of view), you leered at her while she did dumbbell moves, you let her dictate how much sex there’d be, you played guitar for her, you drove her home, etc.

    There’s not really a point where she’s chasing you or trying to impress you, aside from throwing on a dress. The whole date is you qualifying yourself to her, hoping she’ll let you have sex.

    Best way to describe it I guess would be a really good boxer VS a defensive amateur boxer…the really good boxer can tell pretty quick that while ya, they’re in a fight, realistically they’re the ones setting the tone/rhythm of the fight. The defensive amateur boxer is never really going to have him on his heels stumbling backwards trying to re-gain his composure. He might even stick his chin out (enter your apartment) and let the guy take a few swings so he feels like he has a shot, but realistically he knows he can end the fight whenever he wants to.

    The situation you want to create is one where she’s on her heels trying to play catch-up and regain her balance as you barrage her with emotional fists of fury. Where she’s reacting to you and scared to give you a free shot because she knows you’ll land a knock-out punch the second she lets her guard down and you plow through that guard like it’s nothing and take her and she gets swept away into a fantasy.

    This date is kind of a good example of how guys come up with the ideas that “you have to have really nice shoes, girls notice your shoes” or “you have to have an expensive watch, invest in a good watch, women notice these things”…cause guys take girls on nice comfortable non-sexually-threatening dates where the girl is having fun but not off-balance or on much of an emotional rollercoaster…she’s on an emotional canoe ride instead lol, so she has time to analyze him and check out his shoes and his watch and quiz him on what he does for work and see his guitar skills and qualify him on how good a Provider he’d be.

    When you go to dinner, you put yourself in a situ where you’re sitting across from eachother so kino isn’t very natural, and putting a bunch of food in front of you, and basically entering a “let’s try to qualify ourselves to eachother” frame, except that one person is always qualifying themselves more than the other person. Compare this to something like taking her to the mall to help you pick out some shit, where you’re walking side-by-side and can physically bump her, kino, lead her by the hand into stores, cause a scene and embarrass her, goof around, role-play in shops together, pull her around a corner to kiss her, have her model sexy outfits for you, pull her into a change-room, etc. She isn’t giving a shit about your shoes or watch or career on that kind of Day 2 because she’s too busy going on an emotional rollercoaster with you. It’s very easy to escalate on a Day 2 like that compared to sitting across a table from eachother in some swank “classy” restaraunt where everyone is acting respectable and mature and seeing who’s business card is made of a higher quality paper.

    I’m not saying you did bad, it sounds like a fun night all-around…but your read on the situation is a little off. You broke a lot of rules and ended up categorized as a Provider Beta to her. You can still probably get the lay, but it’ll likely come with strings-attached.

    This is all a very subtle dynamic…but a 31yo hottie who’s meeting up with Internet dudes knows how to play the game. The way you keep saying “but she seemed genuinely sorry, like not in a being-polite-to-a-beta way” just means that she’s good at it. You’re not supposed to catch on lol

    “I flat told her you know I had to make a move or she’d wrongly think I was too shy.”

    lol, you don’t have to justify making a move to her. This kind of makes it sound like you only kissed her so that she wouldn’t think you’re a pussy, VS kissing her because you’re a man who goes for what he wants. Again, it’s a subtle dynamic…this kind of vibe is what told her she would be able to walk out of your apartment without fucking you, which is why she came there so easily in the first place.

    “She was, like, looking in my eyes and gushing what a good time she was having”

    I bet! It sounds like it was an awesome date! She got everything she could have wanted…driven around, dinner, drinks, validation from a quality dude, musical entertainment, a ride home…that was a great night…for HER. But the important question is: did you get what YOU wanted? ;)

    “she’s having a lot of fun getting to know me”

    lol, of course. It’ll probably take her a few dates to “get to know you”. Try inviting her over for a movie or for a $1 coffee instead of taking her out somewhere nice, and see if she still wants to get to know you.

    “and basically saying there will be a future date.”

    Of course. Why wouldn’t she want another one of these nights? She made out like a bandit while you spanked it to porn after she left. :)

    “she was gushing about what a good time she had, not in the (I think) usual be-polite-to-a-beta way.”

    I’m sure she legitimately had an amazing time. And I’m sure she likes you. But she’s put you on the Provider Track.

    “So there it is….thoughts? I plan radio silence for 5 days now.”

    No more spending $ on her. Make her invest in the relationship. Have her meet you somewhere, to do something that doesn’t cost $. It’s not that you can’t afford it or anything, it’s that the more you invest, the more of a Provider you become. You could take her on 3 or 4 expensive dates, shower her with a bunch of stuff, and probably get the lay eventually…but you’re not really using “game”, you’re just doing what every other guy does and you’ll end up having sex on her terms, not yours.

    Radio silence thru the weekend, drop the “can’t wait to see you!!!!!!” stuff, push for a meet-up that doesn’t involve you doing stuff for her or spending $ to try to get out of the Provider frame, and when you meet up again kiss her like a boss the second you see her and get her to qualify herself to you and start chasing you.

    Oooo, or flake on her. That would be solid too. Radio silence thru the weekend, arrange a date, then flake with something like “sorry, have to cancel on tonight. A friend I haven’t seen in years is in town and she’s taking me to dinner to catch up. We’ll reschedule for next week k?” where she knows you’re meeting up with a female but doesn’t know exactly who it is and can think that maybe it’s an ex-GF or something and she might lose you if she plays too many games.

    The general idea is to 1) break out of the Provider frame and 2) flip the script so she’s chasing you. Otherwise you’re just playing the same “keep trying to impress her until hopefully she lets me sleep with her” game that every normal guy plays.

    Good luck!


    • man reader
      on November 7, 2013 at 8:57 am
      Original Link

      Thank you very much for that great response and advice. I fucking suck. I guess my text game got slightly better. Lol. I did make her wear the dress and heels.

      You know what sucks? I *have* banged girls on the first date (many times and usually, actually—it’s either there is great chemistry and bang on first date or never see them again) and I was *not* as “safe” as she apparently thought (although I didn’t rape her, so I guess I was — lol). In other words, I do have confidence when I get my mind right, and as we were driving back to my apartment I was fully confident that I was going to bang her. Like, I thought “done deal.” And the other thing is that I’m awesome at sex (for real) and it would have been great and *she* needed that, actually. She has issues (of course) re: the father of her kid and being a single mother stress—and I would have made her feel GREAT, frankly. She needs about 3 orgasms. She kept trying to talk about problems during the dinner and I was keeping it fun and light (and there was kino…sat at a both and I sat right next to her and touched her a lot, mostly her hand (made her give me her hand so I could look at her ring but of course it was to grab her hand)).

      Do you think it’s possible that I had *not* already lost it (as you say) before we got to the apartment and my mistake was not kissing her and throwing her on the couch *immediately* upon entering my apartment, or would she have seen that as creepy and demanded to leave because you *know* I had already lost it because of the dinner. I swear to god I sort of took my time because I thought it was in the bag and I didn’t mind watching her lift weights in her heels and dress. I think I should have IMMEDIATELY kissed her upon entering the apartment.

      Also I did do the slow look up and down at the dress when I first saw her. I’m not totally omega pathetic, I swear.

      But yeah I’m going to try to follow your advice going forward to a T. Thanks again.

      CH please post this.


      • Reggie
        on November 7, 2013 at 12:54 pm
        Original Link

        You should have helped her lift the weights from behind. Nice and close.


        • man reader
          on November 7, 2013 at 2:30 pm
          Original Link

          I was actually afraid she was going to drop them or hurt herself. it was kind of bizarre. she’s tiny. but she wasn’t hammered either. now thinking back on that part of the whole thing it was kind of bizarre.
          is it possible that she actually is kind of shy, as she claims to be?

          I do know that mother are self conscious about things like changed boobs and stuff from being pregnant.

          now this girls legs are perfect. I wonder if she had a c section. didn’t ask. if so she’d have some scar.

          is it also possible that girl feels bloated after eating a steak dinner…. could be legit reasons for a blow off?


          • YaReally
            on November 7, 2013 at 3:32 pm
            Original Link

            “now this girls legs are perfect. I wonder if she had a c section. didn’t ask. if so she’d have some scar.”

            All of this stuff is possible. Women who’ve had a kid tend to be pretty nervous about their bodies. The lifting weights could be a hint at “I like to workout, so if my body isn’t perfect I promise I’m trying to get it to be” etc.

            “is it also possible that girl feels bloated after eating a steak dinner…. could be legit reasons for a blow off?”

            And this lol. Paul Janka specifically recommends not going for dinner because to paraphrase: “no one wants to get naked and sweaty for the first time in front of someone they’re attracted to, while they have a belly full of steak dinner”. Maybe she had to take a bit shit lol

            I would chalk it more up to the vibe of the interaction overall, but these are definite possible factors. Either way, this kind of gives you a better perspective on why the traditional dinner & movie (get bloated up and fat in an asexual environment, then sit around in the dark unable to talk to or look at eachother for 2 hours) is a terribly inefficient date for getting laid.


      • YaReally
        on November 7, 2013 at 3:26 pm
        Original Link

        “I fucking suck. I guess my text game got slightly better. Lol.”

        lol you didn’t do horrible. You just fell into a trap set by a woman who has experience setting traps. A hot 31yo who’s dating online is well-versed in setting the game up in her frame. Compared to like, an 18yo who doesn’t have a lot of life experience or a very strong frame yet.

        Again you could probably still get the lay, but you just need to be aware that you’re on the Provider Track in her mind. It’s like hitting on a waitress or store clerk…once you walk in, she puts you on the Customer Track. To seduce her, you have to first break free of that Customer Track by doing something that shatters that frame so that she sees you as a normal attractive guy she could potentially bang.

        “I did make her wear the dress and heels.”

        This part is important. That’s progress and it’s good that you pushed that boundary and demanded what you want as a man.

        “I *have* banged girls on the first date and I was *not* as “safe” as she apparently thought”

        Irrelevant. You didn’t demonstrate to her that you weren’t safe (took her on a beta style date, txted “can’t wait to see you!!!!!!” stuff, didn’t kiss her during your date till you were at your apartment, etc.), so she doesn’t know. If Michael Jordan goes and plays a game of pick-up basketball with some randoms who don’t know who he is, and he misses a shot, it doesn’t matter how amazing a player he was, that ball still missed the hoop.

        “I do have confidence when I get my mind right, and as we were driving back to my apartment I was fully confident that I was going to bang her.”

        You took a passive approach instead of pro-active. You assumed that logically she would want to bone you because you had impressed her a bunch during the date…but at the end of the day, you hadn’t even crossed into kissing her before driving her back to your apartment. So to HER, you had a vagina and were scared to make a move.

        That’s why I say to set a sexual tone earlier in the date, like right off the bat when you meet up with the girl. Let her know you have intent, be pro-active toward your goal…you played the same game all the rich good-looking dudes with nice cars and condos play: passively impress her and hope it works out.

        And it DOES work out sometimes…but it’s not solid game, it’s just rolling the dice, know what I mean?

        “And the other thing is that I’m awesome at sex (for real) and it would have been great and *she* needed that, actually.”

        All the more reason to have kissed her sooner on the date. :) Don’t worry, she’s getting those orgasms she needs…from another guy (another Internet guy, an ex, a fuckbuddy, etc.). When a girl puts a guy on the Provider Track, she still needs dick, but she doesn’t want to seem slutty to him…she wants him to think she wants to “get to know him” first and she’s “not that kind of girl”. So she slow-plays the Provider Track guy, while getting banged out by the other guy who’s just for sex.

        How do I know this? Because I AM that other guy lol I’ve made girls have their Provider dates drop them off at my place to bang after their date. I’ve specifically told girls that I’m not boyfriend material, but that I know they have to make quality guys wait before they put out so feel free to txt me if they need to get laid while they feel out their boyfriend quality guy and we can stop banging once they make it official.

        It’s not that they don’t LIKE the Provider guy…they might WANT to bang him, but they KNOW if they put out too soon he’ll consider them a slut and not commit to them to date seriously. So they meet a nice good-looking dude who seems fairly boss and takes them to dinner in an expensive restaraunt and drives them around in his nice car to his nice clean place where he plays guitar all super-cool, and they think “omg, I want to date this guy! I’d better not put out tonight or he’ll think I’m not worth dating!!” and you get the classic “I don’t sleep with guys on the first date” and “I want to get to know you better” etc. excuses. Those are common excuses lol And her whole future is invested in making them sound legit and like she means them and to make you feel like you’re different from the other guys she’s gone out with.

        “She kept trying to talk about problems during the dinner”

        Just make sure to run away if she starts talking about how hard it is to pay her rent or how she needs a vacation etc. lol Those are classic “test to see if the Nice Guy will offer to give me $ or take me on vacations” tests.

        “and there was kino…sat at a both and I sat right next to her and touched her a lot, mostly her hand (made her give me her hand so I could look at her ring but of course it was to grab her hand)”

        This stuff is solid. Sitting beside her helps, if you DO have to sit in a table environment. But without a kiss, you’re not really a sexual threat to her.

        The best way I’ve seen it described is that she should feel at all times like she’s in immediate danger of being fucked. Even if you’re just sitting at dinner, she should be thinking “wow, if I let myself be alone with this guy, we are going to fuck eachother’s brains out”. Not rapey obviously, but like, letting her know you have massive sexual intent with her, VS being her dinner date with good conversation and a few light touches.

        “Do you think it’s possible that I had *not* already lost it (as you say) before we got to the apartment and my mistake was not kissing her and throwing her on the couch *immediately* upon entering my apartment, or would she have seen that as creepy and demanded to leave because you *know* I had already lost it because of the dinner.”

        I think she would have freaked out because it would have been incongruent to your vibe up to that point.

        This’ll be a gay example, but take Twilight lol: SparkleVampire is always lookin at Bella like he’s going to devour her. Even if they’re just making small-talk, she’s thinking “omg omg omg the second we’re alone I’m in trouble and I love it”. So that guy can make small-talk for an hour and then when he gets her alone, pin her up against the wall and ravage her in a sexy intense way, because it’s congruent to his vibe.

        Or take someone less intense, like Russell Brand: He’s all high-energy bubbly and bouncey but everything he says is laced with sexual innuendo, so sex is on the table. So even if he just jokes around for an hour, she’s thinking “omg omg this guy loves sex, if we’re alone I’m going to end up banging him and I love it”, and when he gets her alone he can pin her against the wall and ravage her in a fun light-hearted way, because it’s congruent to his vibe.

        Then take someone asexual like Bill Gates: He’s basically a non-sexual entity to the girl and he doesn’t make his intentions known or anything and they have a nice fun conversation but it’s completely friend-zoney compared to the vampire and Russel, and she’s thinking “he’s a nice guy, maybe I’d bang him someday but if not he’d make a good friend, maybe he’d be someone stable to date long-term”…so when he gets her alone, if he pins her against the wall it’s like “woah, hey, wtf is this shit!!” because it’s out of the blue to her.

        Essentially she should “know it’s coming” so that when it happens, it’s natural that it would happen, VS not knowing it’s coming and then being surprised by it.

        So I think in your case, if you had kissed on the hello, dropped some more sexual talk during dinner, made out a bit after dinner, etc., once she got in the door you could (and should) escalate right away. But all your hesitation just told her you aren’t a guy who makes moves, and while you passively enjoyed the dumbbell show, she was basically splaying her vagina in your face going “well? Are you going to do something about it?? I didn’t think so lol”…If you had set a sexual tone to things and been more pro-active, you would’ve been fucking her on your weight bench. I actually legitimately thought that’s where your Field Report was going lol When you said you then eventually kissed her I was like “wait what??” and it went downhill from there lol

        Essentially she went into a lazy bear’s cave, wearing honey and sampling his food and made herself at home and knew she’d be safe to leave whenever she wanted…VS stepping into a hungry bear’s cave, scared but excited about what the bear would do to her as she runs around covered in honey.

        Remember in Jurassic Park when the kids are in the overturned truck as the T-Rex sniffs at it? That’s the feeling you want her to have, but in a sexual way lol That’s why I say you weren’t a “sexual threat” to her. She wasn’t on her heels holding her breath wide-eyed like “omg I won’t be able to control myself from fucking this guy”. Again I’m not talking rape, for the spergs out there lol, I’m talking showing intent through your eyes, sexual conversation, slow sensual kino, low bedroom voice, etc. A lot of this is sub-communicated.

        “I swear to god I sort of took my time because I thought it was in the bag”

        Don’t get lazy. :)

        “Also I did do the slow look up and down at the dress when I first saw her.”

        lol good stuff. Next time throw in a kiss on top of it. Basically set the tone up front of “hanging around me means we’ll be having sex, if you’re not cool with that, that’s alright, you can leave and I’ll txt a girl who wants to bang tonight” VS the tone of “I’m cool with just a nice date, hopefully something comes from it but if not I had a good time anyway! :)

        Lots of subtle shit going on here. Don’t stress it too much. I’m pointing it out more so that you can spot it in the future when you’re falling into it. Hell, even when you can see it happening, you can still end up falling into it. I’ve had dates where I KNOW I haven’t set enough of a sexual tone but for whatever reason I couldn’t get myself to get past that and ended the date the same way yours did…she wants to go out again, obviously, because even when I’m off my game I’m still a cool fun guy to be around, but I know I’m on the Provider Track with her. Sometimes I won’t even go out again because I’d rather just start over with a new girl and run proper game from the start lol

        Give it another go with her, for the learning experience. But like I say: 1) Get out of the Provider frame, and 2) Flip the script and get her qualifying herself and chasing you instead



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

man reader
on November 6, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Original Link

CH and the commentariat, please evaluate this text game. I think I’ve had a breakthrough. Results posted at the end. I violated a few of y’all’s rules (e.g., dinner at a nice restaurant with chick I have not banged), but I think it’s calibrated for this (shy/nice/latina) girl.

BACKGROUND: Super hot true HB9 beauuuutiful latina. Age 31, mother of one, looks like she’s 24. 5’5”, 112, tiny little girl, perfect legs and skin tone—super duper hot. Looks like Adriana Lima. Loooong black hair—very feminine as the Latinas still sometimes are. My type. Seriously looks like Adriana Lima as much as one could find in a regular nonfamous person on the street, but even better IMO as I’m 5’11” and Lima is too tall. Met her on match—which I’m no longer even on—about 6 weeks ago. Had daytime coffee date. Went well enough. Texted very sparingly the past 6 weeks. She declined a few offers to hang out with excuses, but never totally blew me off. After about 3 weeks of no contact (not from me either—did a good job of forgetting this girl), SHE reinitiated contact a few weeks ago, asking for another coffee date. I got the idea to do the following yesterday at 11 AM:

TEXTS:

Me: [Her Name] let’s go out tonight

Her (10 min later): Hey [my name] yes we can go out tonight (she has a cute Spanish accent)

Me (20 min later): Que maravillosa. I will pick u up at 8 (note: I speak Spanish to her from time to time because I can and latina girls think I’m lindo)

Her (15 min later): I’ll confirm you the time later ok?

Me (45 min later): okey dokie

Me (2 hours later): Ok so 7? I just can’t wait to see you!!!!!! (note: this is sarcasm and I think she gets it; in past texts I have said over-the-top stuff like “mi corazon espinado!!!” –look it up if you don’t speak Spanish– when she has made excuses not to meet up—I actually think she thinks it’s cute and it doesn’t hurt me because I text her once every 4 weeks—she gets sarcasm not beta infatuation)

Her (1 hour later): Ok, I’ll be in [trendy downtown area] so we can meet there ok?

Me (30 min later): ok

Her (90 min later): Where and when shall we meet in [downtown trendy area]?

(HERE IS WHERE I THINK YAREALLY GETS SLIGHTLY PROUD OF ME)

Me (20 min later): [cool steak restaurant]. 8. Is your little black dress clean?

(edit: I swear to god I did this literally because I wanted to see her in a little black dress—for ME, I swear to god, and also little black dress is super fun to slide hands up later on my couch—she has killer legs—FOR ME, I wanted her to wear a little black dress)

Her (4 min later): Yes it is, but is cold today! So I am not sure if I should wear it ; )

Me (14 min later): I will keep you warm. But we can do jeans if u want.

Me (7 min later): wait no u should ; )

Her (10 min later): Ok… ; ) (note: #winning by me )

Me (15 min later): Yay! See u soon

Me (30 min later while walking dog before date): It is indeed weird windy weather, but no te preocupes I will protect you. Meet in front of [other restaurant a few blocks away] and walk or are your heels too high?

(note: indeed was weird stormy weather, big wind gusts, going on 3 days now…yet she did not flake)

Her (4 min later): Do you mind pick me uo (sic) at my driends (sic) house that is [nearby fancy neighborhood]?

Me (20 min later): Even better , getting in elevator will call

RESULT: That was the last text. Picked her up as planned. She was SMOKIN’ in the little black dress. I told her “I like your shoes.” Had good dinner, good conversation, went back to my apartment after with no resistance from her, maid came yesterday so my apartment was sweet (but my stupid dog was annoying), served her a good beer without asking immediately upon entering, put on music, talked for a while, did some dancing (she’s a latina…did some proper ballroom type dancing on my balcony) (kino, which I had done all through dinner too—touching her hand etc). She grabs some dumbbells on my balcony and starts doing military presses in her heels and dress—kill me… she’s fucking hot. Asks how to train back…told her sorry but the thing she was doing is not it and she has to bend over and do lat raises (as we all know)…she does this in her little black dress and 4 inch heels. Kill me. Waited a bit too long but eventually did go in for the kiss. I actually though would be a bang…she was so hot in that little black dress….she pulled away though, but seemed genuinely apologetic….was first date, she wants to get to know me….. I flat told her you know I had to make a move or she’d wrongly think I was too shy. She was, like, looking in my eyes and gushing what a good time she was having and basically apologizing but sort of saying she just won’t have sex on first date and she’s having a lot of fun getting to know me and basically saying there will be a future date. After that she asked me to play guitar for her which I did until about 1 AM (she was impressed, because I can indeed play guitar), but then she made me drive her home instead of her staying, but she was gushing about what a good time she had, not in the (I think) usual be-polite-to-a-beta way.

So there it is….thoughts? I plan radio silence for 5 days now.


  • YaReally
    on November 7, 2013 at 1:28 am
    Original Link

    I’m not shitting on you, ’cause you did some stuff nice and solid and it sounds like it was a fun date, but you fucked yourself over by thinking the rules don’t apply to you and ended up in a frame I don’t think you realize you’re in lol:

    “I violated a few of y’all’s rules (e.g., dinner at a nice restaurant with chick I have not banged), but I think it’s calibrated for this (shy/nice/latina) girl.”

    Did you get the lay? No…so what DID you get? Let’s look at it objectively: You got milked for dinner/drinks, teased and left with blue-balls, having to drive her home, and the “chance” for another date where you can spend more money on her while she “gets to know you”.

    You are on the Provider Track. You might still bang her, but she’s probably going to milk a couple dates out of you and try to make you date her as a monogamous BF/GF before putting out, or turn you into an Orbiter.

    The rules exist for a reason. They’re to keep you off of the Provider Track.

    Key points:

    “She declined a few offers to hang out with excuses, but never totally blew me off. After about 3 weeks of no contact”

    She was probably fucking someone else.

    “SHE reinitiated contact a few weeks ago, asking for another coffee date.”

    Shit probably didn’t work out with that dude, so she’s looking for a replacement.

    “I actually think she thinks it’s cute and it doesn’t hurt me”

    Did she fuck you, or is she making you wait?

    “she gets sarcasm not beta infatuation”

    She blew you off a few times until you gave up, then snapped her fingers and you jumped to instantly respond with stuff like “I just can’t wait to see you!!!!!” and offering to take her to expensive dinners. Combine that with how if she’s super hot, most guys she meets say that stuff but mean it for REAL, and, well, you can’t really be sure she’s reading it as sarcasm, esp via text. She’s seeing it from her perspective, not yours.

    I’m not saying this kind of texting specifically killed you, but why roll the dice like that, you know?

    “Me (20 min later): [cool steak restaurant]. 8. Is your little black dress clean?”

    This is super-solid. I approve.

    “I swear to god I did this literally because I wanted to see her in a little black dress—for ME”

    It was a big turning point for me when I started telling girls what to wear and that I expect them to doll-up for me. I was socially conditioned to believe that was rude and shallow, but dolled-up chicks get me rock hard so after hooking up with enough girls who’d show up dressed in plain clothes I decided to start being a dick about it. I tell them it’s because I’m shallow and spent too much time in stripclubs when I was younger lol

    Most chicks like dressing up for a guy. The worry about “will he like how I look? Is this what he wanted??” is fun to them. They stress about it the whole way to the meet, and then when you see them you give them the slow down and up checkout with your eyes, tell them they look gorgeous, and relieve all that tension they had over it. That’s a fun emotional rollercoaster for them that the guy who says “I love all women no matter what they look like” doesn’t give them. And it’s something a high-value man who has options and can BE picky/demanding, would do.

    “Her (4 min later): Yes it is, but is cold today! So I am not sure if I should wear it ; )”

    Solid response. She’s shit-testing to see if you’ll back down or demand she wear it.

    “Me (14 min later): I will keep you warm. But we can do jeans if u want.”

    ergh…that first sentence was beautiful. The second was like going “mmmm when I see you, I’m going to pin you up against the wall and run my hand slowly down your body as I bite your neck…….IF THAT’S COOL WITH YOU! IF NOT WE CAN DO SOMETHIN ELSE?? LEMME KNOW LOLOL!!”

    lol. Like, don’t back down or go wishy-washy when you make demands. Let HER bring up “is it okay if I wear jeans? It’s cold :(” and then you can say “hmmm, alright. But you owe me a night of sexy lingerie in the future. ;)”

    “Me (7 min later): wait no u should ; )”
    “Me (15 min later): Yay! See u soon”

    This just kind of enhances the wishy-washy…”Wear a sexy outfit. Well, it’s okay if you don’t. No wait, you should! You will?? YAY!!!!”

    I know to you the “Yay!” thing isn’t super gay and is just sarcasm, but…well, did she fuck you or is she making you wait?

    “maid came yesterday so my apartment was sweet”

    This kind of stuff, while bad-ass, helps put you on the Provider Track because you’re clearly a guy with money and all his shit together etc. and she’s a single mom with The Wall approaching.

    I actually leave my room a bit messy, to help avoid being seen as a Provider. It’s part of why I don’t mind living with a roommate and not having a car either. Combine all that with not taking them out for dinners etc., and women know not to bother putting me on the slow Provider Track, and I get to skip all that and get right to fucking.

    “Waited a bit too long but eventually did go in for the kiss.”

    Try kissing her as soon as you two meet up, on future Day 2’s, to set the tone. Like she walks out in her little black dress and you can look her down and up, eye-fuck her, tell her she looks gorgeous, cut the space, hand on her cheek, and give her a light kiss, with a “Couldn’t resist. ;) Let’s go.” and lead her to wherever, arm-in-arm.

    The longer you wait to set a sexual tone, the more awkward it feels to go in for the kiss. In my early days I actually went entire Day 2’s without any action, not even kissing, because I didn’t set a sexual tone fast enough and it felt too awkward lol Of course the girls often wouldn’t bother wanting to hang out again since I demonstrated I was too chickenshit to pull the trigger lol

    “I actually though would be a bang…she was so hot in that little black dress….she pulled away though”

    lol, ya, I figured this would be the result when I read that she came back to your apartment without any resistance and when I read that you hadn’t kissed her yet. She knew she was in control of the situation and that you weren’t really a sexual threat so she knew she could tease you for a bit (the dumbbell stuff) and leave you hanging with blue-balls but dying to see her again. Girls who are worried they’re going to bang put up some resistance going back to the guy’s apartment…this girl knew she wasn’t going to bang you tonight.

    Note that this whole thing is you chasing her. You asked to set up a date, you picked her up, you took her to dinner/drinks (did you pay or split the bill?), you drooled all over her dress, you invited her over and gave her beer, you had your place nice and clean to impress her (at least from her point of view), you leered at her while she did dumbbell moves, you let her dictate how much sex there’d be, you played guitar for her, you drove her home, etc.

    There’s not really a point where she’s chasing you or trying to impress you, aside from throwing on a dress. The whole date is you qualifying yourself to her, hoping she’ll let you have sex.

    Best way to describe it I guess would be a really good boxer VS a defensive amateur boxer…the really good boxer can tell pretty quick that while ya, they’re in a fight, realistically they’re the ones setting the tone/rhythm of the fight. The defensive amateur boxer is never really going to have him on his heels stumbling backwards trying to re-gain his composure. He might even stick his chin out (enter your apartment) and let the guy take a few swings so he feels like he has a shot, but realistically he knows he can end the fight whenever he wants to.

    The situation you want to create is one where she’s on her heels trying to play catch-up and regain her balance as you barrage her with emotional fists of fury. Where she’s reacting to you and scared to give you a free shot because she knows you’ll land a knock-out punch the second she lets her guard down and you plow through that guard like it’s nothing and take her and she gets swept away into a fantasy.

    This date is kind of a good example of how guys come up with the ideas that “you have to have really nice shoes, girls notice your shoes” or “you have to have an expensive watch, invest in a good watch, women notice these things”…cause guys take girls on nice comfortable non-sexually-threatening dates where the girl is having fun but not off-balance or on much of an emotional rollercoaster…she’s on an emotional canoe ride instead lol, so she has time to analyze him and check out his shoes and his watch and quiz him on what he does for work and see his guitar skills and qualify him on how good a Provider he’d be.

    When you go to dinner, you put yourself in a situ where you’re sitting across from eachother so kino isn’t very natural, and putting a bunch of food in front of you, and basically entering a “let’s try to qualify ourselves to eachother” frame, except that one person is always qualifying themselves more than the other person. Compare this to something like taking her to the mall to help you pick out some shit, where you’re walking side-by-side and can physically bump her, kino, lead her by the hand into stores, cause a scene and embarrass her, goof around, role-play in shops together, pull her around a corner to kiss her, have her model sexy outfits for you, pull her into a change-room, etc. She isn’t giving a shit about your shoes or watch or career on that kind of Day 2 because she’s too busy going on an emotional rollercoaster with you. It’s very easy to escalate on a Day 2 like that compared to sitting across a table from eachother in some swank “classy” restaraunt where everyone is acting respectable and mature and seeing who’s business card is made of a higher quality paper.

    I’m not saying you did bad, it sounds like a fun night all-around…but your read on the situation is a little off. You broke a lot of rules and ended up categorized as a Provider Beta to her. You can still probably get the lay, but it’ll likely come with strings-attached.

    This is all a very subtle dynamic…but a 31yo hottie who’s meeting up with Internet dudes knows how to play the game. The way you keep saying “but she seemed genuinely sorry, like not in a being-polite-to-a-beta way” just means that she’s good at it. You’re not supposed to catch on lol

    “I flat told her you know I had to make a move or she’d wrongly think I was too shy.”

    lol, you don’t have to justify making a move to her. This kind of makes it sound like you only kissed her so that she wouldn’t think you’re a pussy, VS kissing her because you’re a man who goes for what he wants. Again, it’s a subtle dynamic…this kind of vibe is what told her she would be able to walk out of your apartment without fucking you, which is why she came there so easily in the first place.

    “She was, like, looking in my eyes and gushing what a good time she was having”

    I bet! It sounds like it was an awesome date! She got everything she could have wanted…driven around, dinner, drinks, validation from a quality dude, musical entertainment, a ride home…that was a great night…for HER. But the important question is: did you get what YOU wanted? ;)

    “she’s having a lot of fun getting to know me”

    lol, of course. It’ll probably take her a few dates to “get to know you”. Try inviting her over for a movie or for a $1 coffee instead of taking her out somewhere nice, and see if she still wants to get to know you.

    “and basically saying there will be a future date.”

    Of course. Why wouldn’t she want another one of these nights? She made out like a bandit while you spanked it to porn after she left. :)

    “she was gushing about what a good time she had, not in the (I think) usual be-polite-to-a-beta way.”

    I’m sure she legitimately had an amazing time. And I’m sure she likes you. But she’s put you on the Provider Track.

    “So there it is….thoughts? I plan radio silence for 5 days now.”

    No more spending $ on her. Make her invest in the relationship. Have her meet you somewhere, to do something that doesn’t cost $. It’s not that you can’t afford it or anything, it’s that the more you invest, the more of a Provider you become. You could take her on 3 or 4 expensive dates, shower her with a bunch of stuff, and probably get the lay eventually…but you’re not really using “game”, you’re just doing what every other guy does and you’ll end up having sex on her terms, not yours.

    Radio silence thru the weekend, drop the “can’t wait to see you!!!!!!” stuff, push for a meet-up that doesn’t involve you doing stuff for her or spending $ to try to get out of the Provider frame, and when you meet up again kiss her like a boss the second you see her and get her to qualify herself to you and start chasing you.

    Oooo, or flake on her. That would be solid too. Radio silence thru the weekend, arrange a date, then flake with something like “sorry, have to cancel on tonight. A friend I haven’t seen in years is in town and she’s taking me to dinner to catch up. We’ll reschedule for next week k?” where she knows you’re meeting up with a female but doesn’t know exactly who it is and can think that maybe it’s an ex-GF or something and she might lose you if she plays too many games.

    The general idea is to 1) break out of the Provider frame and 2) flip the script so she’s chasing you. Otherwise you’re just playing the same “keep trying to impress her until hopefully she lets me sleep with her” game that every normal guy plays.

    Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on November 7, 2013 at 3:26 pm
      Original Link

      “I fucking suck. I guess my text game got slightly better. Lol.”

      lol you didn’t do horrible. You just fell into a trap set by a woman who has experience setting traps. A hot 31yo who’s dating online is well-versed in setting the game up in her frame. Compared to like, an 18yo who doesn’t have a lot of life experience or a very strong frame yet.

      Again you could probably still get the lay, but you just need to be aware that you’re on the Provider Track in her mind. It’s like hitting on a waitress or store clerk…once you walk in, she puts you on the Customer Track. To seduce her, you have to first break free of that Customer Track by doing something that shatters that frame so that she sees you as a normal attractive guy she could potentially bang.

      “I did make her wear the dress and heels.”

      This part is important. That’s progress and it’s good that you pushed that boundary and demanded what you want as a man.

      “I *have* banged girls on the first date and I was *not* as “safe” as she apparently thought”

      Irrelevant. You didn’t demonstrate to her that you weren’t safe (took her on a beta style date, txted “can’t wait to see you!!!!!!” stuff, didn’t kiss her during your date till you were at your apartment, etc.), so she doesn’t know. If Michael Jordan goes and plays a game of pick-up basketball with some randoms who don’t know who he is, and he misses a shot, it doesn’t matter how amazing a player he was, that ball still missed the hoop.

      “I do have confidence when I get my mind right, and as we were driving back to my apartment I was fully confident that I was going to bang her.”

      You took a passive approach instead of pro-active. You assumed that logically she would want to bone you because you had impressed her a bunch during the date…but at the end of the day, you hadn’t even crossed into kissing her before driving her back to your apartment. So to HER, you had a vagina and were scared to make a move.

      That’s why I say to set a sexual tone earlier in the date, like right off the bat when you meet up with the girl. Let her know you have intent, be pro-active toward your goal…you played the same game all the rich good-looking dudes with nice cars and condos play: passively impress her and hope it works out.

      And it DOES work out sometimes…but it’s not solid game, it’s just rolling the dice, know what I mean?

      “And the other thing is that I’m awesome at sex (for real) and it would have been great and *she* needed that, actually.”

      All the more reason to have kissed her sooner on the date. :) Don’t worry, she’s getting those orgasms she needs…from another guy (another Internet guy, an ex, a fuckbuddy, etc.). When a girl puts a guy on the Provider Track, she still needs dick, but she doesn’t want to seem slutty to him…she wants him to think she wants to “get to know him” first and she’s “not that kind of girl”. So she slow-plays the Provider Track guy, while getting banged out by the other guy who’s just for sex.

      How do I know this? Because I AM that other guy lol I’ve made girls have their Provider dates drop them off at my place to bang after their date. I’ve specifically told girls that I’m not boyfriend material, but that I know they have to make quality guys wait before they put out so feel free to txt me if they need to get laid while they feel out their boyfriend quality guy and we can stop banging once they make it official.

      It’s not that they don’t LIKE the Provider guy…they might WANT to bang him, but they KNOW if they put out too soon he’ll consider them a slut and not commit to them to date seriously. So they meet a nice good-looking dude who seems fairly boss and takes them to dinner in an expensive restaraunt and drives them around in his nice car to his nice clean place where he plays guitar all super-cool, and they think “omg, I want to date this guy! I’d better not put out tonight or he’ll think I’m not worth dating!!” and you get the classic “I don’t sleep with guys on the first date” and “I want to get to know you better” etc. excuses. Those are common excuses lol And her whole future is invested in making them sound legit and like she means them and to make you feel like you’re different from the other guys she’s gone out with.

      “She kept trying to talk about problems during the dinner”

      Just make sure to run away if she starts talking about how hard it is to pay her rent or how she needs a vacation etc. lol Those are classic “test to see if the Nice Guy will offer to give me $ or take me on vacations” tests.

      “and there was kino…sat at a both and I sat right next to her and touched her a lot, mostly her hand (made her give me her hand so I could look at her ring but of course it was to grab her hand)”

      This stuff is solid. Sitting beside her helps, if you DO have to sit in a table environment. But without a kiss, you’re not really a sexual threat to her.

      The best way I’ve seen it described is that she should feel at all times like she’s in immediate danger of being fucked. Even if you’re just sitting at dinner, she should be thinking “wow, if I let myself be alone with this guy, we are going to fuck eachother’s brains out”. Not rapey obviously, but like, letting her know you have massive sexual intent with her, VS being her dinner date with good conversation and a few light touches.

      “Do you think it’s possible that I had *not* already lost it (as you say) before we got to the apartment and my mistake was not kissing her and throwing her on the couch *immediately* upon entering my apartment, or would she have seen that as creepy and demanded to leave because you *know* I had already lost it because of the dinner.”

      I think she would have freaked out because it would have been incongruent to your vibe up to that point.

      This’ll be a gay example, but take Twilight lol: SparkleVampire is always lookin at Bella like he’s going to devour her. Even if they’re just making small-talk, she’s thinking “omg omg omg the second we’re alone I’m in trouble and I love it”. So that guy can make small-talk for an hour and then when he gets her alone, pin her up against the wall and ravage her in a sexy intense way, because it’s congruent to his vibe.

      Or take someone less intense, like Russell Brand: He’s all high-energy bubbly and bouncey but everything he says is laced with sexual innuendo, so sex is on the table. So even if he just jokes around for an hour, she’s thinking “omg omg this guy loves sex, if we’re alone I’m going to end up banging him and I love it”, and when he gets her alone he can pin her against the wall and ravage her in a fun light-hearted way, because it’s congruent to his vibe.

      Then take someone asexual like Bill Gates: He’s basically a non-sexual entity to the girl and he doesn’t make his intentions known or anything and they have a nice fun conversation but it’s completely friend-zoney compared to the vampire and Russel, and she’s thinking “he’s a nice guy, maybe I’d bang him someday but if not he’d make a good friend, maybe he’d be someone stable to date long-term”…so when he gets her alone, if he pins her against the wall it’s like “woah, hey, wtf is this shit!!” because it’s out of the blue to her.

      Essentially she should “know it’s coming” so that when it happens, it’s natural that it would happen, VS not knowing it’s coming and then being surprised by it.

      So I think in your case, if you had kissed on the hello, dropped some more sexual talk during dinner, made out a bit after dinner, etc., once she got in the door you could (and should) escalate right away. But all your hesitation just told her you aren’t a guy who makes moves, and while you passively enjoyed the dumbbell show, she was basically splaying her vagina in your face going “well? Are you going to do something about it?? I didn’t think so lol”…If you had set a sexual tone to things and been more pro-active, you would’ve been fucking her on your weight bench. I actually legitimately thought that’s where your Field Report was going lol When you said you then eventually kissed her I was like “wait what??” and it went downhill from there lol

      Essentially she went into a lazy bear’s cave, wearing honey and sampling his food and made herself at home and knew she’d be safe to leave whenever she wanted…VS stepping into a hungry bear’s cave, scared but excited about what the bear would do to her as she runs around covered in honey.

      Remember in Jurassic Park when the kids are in the overturned truck as the T-Rex sniffs at it? That’s the feeling you want her to have, but in a sexual way lol That’s why I say you weren’t a “sexual threat” to her. She wasn’t on her heels holding her breath wide-eyed like “omg I won’t be able to control myself from fucking this guy”. Again I’m not talking rape, for the spergs out there lol, I’m talking showing intent through your eyes, sexual conversation, slow sensual kino, low bedroom voice, etc. A lot of this is sub-communicated.

      “I swear to god I sort of took my time because I thought it was in the bag”

      Don’t get lazy. :)

      “Also I did do the slow look up and down at the dress when I first saw her.”

      lol good stuff. Next time throw in a kiss on top of it. Basically set the tone up front of “hanging around me means we’ll be having sex, if you’re not cool with that, that’s alright, you can leave and I’ll txt a girl who wants to bang tonight” VS the tone of “I’m cool with just a nice date, hopefully something comes from it but if not I had a good time anyway! :)”

      Lots of subtle shit going on here. Don’t stress it too much. I’m pointing it out more so that you can spot it in the future when you’re falling into it. Hell, even when you can see it happening, you can still end up falling into it. I’ve had dates where I KNOW I haven’t set enough of a sexual tone but for whatever reason I couldn’t get myself to get past that and ended the date the same way yours did…she wants to go out again, obviously, because even when I’m off my game I’m still a cool fun guy to be around, but I know I’m on the Provider Track with her. Sometimes I won’t even go out again because I’d rather just start over with a new girl and run proper game from the start lol

      Give it another go with her, for the learning experience. But like I say: 1) Get out of the Provider frame, and 2) Flip the script and get her qualifying herself and chasing you instead


    • YaReally
      on November 7, 2013 at 3:32 pm
      Original Link

      “now this girls legs are perfect. I wonder if she had a c section. didn’t ask. if so she’d have some scar.”

      All of this stuff is possible. Women who’ve had a kid tend to be pretty nervous about their bodies. The lifting weights could be a hint at “I like to workout, so if my body isn’t perfect I promise I’m trying to get it to be” etc.

      “is it also possible that girl feels bloated after eating a steak dinner…. could be legit reasons for a blow off?”

      And this lol. Paul Janka specifically recommends not going for dinner because to paraphrase: “no one wants to get naked and sweaty for the first time in front of someone they’re attracted to, while they have a belly full of steak dinner”. Maybe she had to take a bit shit lol

      I would chalk it more up to the vibe of the interaction overall, but these are definite possible factors. Either way, this kind of gives you a better perspective on why the traditional dinner & movie (get bloated up and fat in an asexual environment, then sit around in the dark unable to talk to or look at eachother for 2 hours) is a terribly inefficient date for getting laid.



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

myne88
on November 6, 2013 at 1:59 pm
Original Link

Yeah it’s hard to believe any CH reader could be this retarded.

Still, I think the next time a girl I am with gets hit on I will try the pat-pat “go jerk off bro” line. Hilarious.


  • Tilikum
    on November 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm
    Original Link

    hand on the back or gripping the tricep just behind the elbow is better. very little pressure to control a big ass motherfucker.

    it’s instinctual too. watch a dude calm right the fuck down.


    • pulsotic
      on November 6, 2013 at 4:04 pm
      Original Link

      I haven’t heard that before. I’m trying to imagine a context or situation that would warrant that.

      These guys wanting to punch people are all missing the point. The reason they want to lash out is because they feel powerless and they want to take the power back.

      When an AMOG chumps them in front of women it should be a wake up call. They need self awareness of their actions and behavior that would telegraph weakness to strangers. Some guys are more alpha than others and just like starting at a HB6 before going up to an 8, AMOGING isn’t natural for them either and they need to get skills before tackling the big guys. They may be out of their league with the guys too.

      I’m willing to give the OP/troll the benefit of doubt considering it’s such a familiar story. Plus, PUA’s I know are arrogant enough to try to show off like that.
      The touching the face thing. The reason he wrote/trolled CH is because he isn’t the kind of guy to retaliate and the AMOG knew it. AMOGs aren’t just dumb beasts even though it seems like it sometimes. They are social strategists in their own way and wouldn’t touch another alpha’s face unless they wanted to fight.


      • YaReally
        on November 6, 2013 at 7:08 pm
        Original Link

        “These guys wanting to punch people are all missing the point. The reason they want to lash out is because they feel powerless and they want to take the power back.”

        This.



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

myne88
on November 6, 2013 at 1:59 pm
Original Link

Yeah it’s hard to believe any CH reader could be this retarded.

Still, I think the next time a girl I am with gets hit on I will try the pat-pat “go jerk off bro” line. Hilarious.


  • Tilikum
    on November 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm
    Original Link

    hand on the back or gripping the tricep just behind the elbow is better. very little pressure to control a big ass motherfucker.

    it’s instinctual too. watch a dude calm right the fuck down.


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 7:08 pm
      Original Link

      “These guys wanting to punch people are all missing the point. The reason they want to lash out is because they feel powerless and they want to take the power back.”

      This.



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on November 6, 2013 at 3:05 pm
Original Link

lol troll. PUAs don’t hire ourselves out like dick-wielding hitmen. Any decent PUA would’ve told this guy to get over his one-itis.

No comment on the rest of it except to say that punching the guy out for him touching your face won’t get the girl…she wasn’t attracted to you before, she won’t be after that. You’d be risking jail or death/paralysis/etc. for the sake of some chick who won’t bang you either way and saving your ego in front of people who either don’t respect you already or don’t give a shit about you.

The reality is that giving a shit about “disrespect” comes from insecure ego protection. If you knew you could turn around after the face touch and go fuck the 3 hottest chicks in the room at the same time you would not give a fuck. But you can’t, so your brain panics “omg everyone including myself will think I’m a pussy if I don’t do something!!”

Nothing that happens in a bar is worth fighting over. That’s what bouncers, cops, etc. are for.

http://theactualityoffighting.blogspot.ca/ – type “one punch” into the Search form


  • feministx
    on November 6, 2013 at 9:11 pm
    Original Link

    “You’d be risking jail or death/paralysis/etc. for the sake of some chick who won’t bang you either way and saving your ego in front of people who either don’t respect you already or don’t give a shit about you.”

    Dude, let’s be real. Doesn’t matter if what you say makes sense. Doesn’t matter if CH is totally full of it when he claims he would punch a guy for touching his face in condescension. The fact that he made the claim made him sexier.

    Today I read this OP and I was like “I wanna know a story about how Heartsie punched some dude in a fit of rage. I want the story to be full of self aggrandizing flowery prose. I believe this story will make me touch myself. Lots.”


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 11:26 pm
      Original Link

      “I want the story to be full of self aggrandizing flowery prose. I believe this story will make me touch myself. Lots.”

      My bad. I didn’t realize the Manosphere’s purpose now was to write erotica for solipsistic attention-whores to rub one out to. I thought we were aiming to help men.

      No one gives a shit whether you’re wet or not. Except Matt King.


      • Matthew King
        on November 7, 2013 at 11:59 am
        Original Link

        You know, for all your braggadocio about unseen exploits with women, you never seem to actually demonstrate that easy charm you boast about here. Not even accidentally.

        Go on and on about the purpose of PUA websites and the limitations of this medium, but a neutral observer would think that by now you would have shown incidentally and by example some of your famous comfort around women.

        Before you spaz: Let’s not dispute this is a website for dudes trading tips with dudes. Let’s stipulate the girls here are interloping attention whores with little understanding of their own attractions.

        Just tell me this. Why would you go out of your way to deny CH’s online effectiveness? Is it because you don’t know what to do with interloping women, how to talk to them, how to effectively neutralize them and make this place safe for “helping men”?

        The girl just said she is so taken by the world CH conjures out of simple pixelated words that she wants to finger herself. His power projected remotely has an intimate sexual effect on her. Your immediate assumption is that she is damaged, not that he is masterful on this medium, which is corroborating evidence — but perhaps not dispositive — that he is competent in other venues.

        This is a problem for your credibility. The limitations of the venue cannot explain away your complete inability to enthrall anyone the way CH does here, who is subject to the very same restrictions you are.

        One doesn’t have to make it his conscious mission to charm the panties off of every girl he encounters online or otherwise before they start dropping drawers. For some men, it just happens everywhere they go, no matter what method of communication is being used, no matter what limitations obtain.

        In other words, you are so hyperfocused on the nuts and bolts of bar-slut seduction — and simultaneously obsessed with “keyboard” kredibility — that you allow no possibility of a man simply exuding enough of a presence to attract women through every screen and obstacle — by embracing who he is. Your prejudice against “Just be yourself” is so pronounced that you cannot imagine that some fellows’ selves are adequate enough by nature and require little or no “alpha” boost from your street magic solutions. (I speculate that this is the residue of omega insecurity still affecting you, but that is neither here nor there.) The method of seduction is not so wildly different between online conversation and face-to-face conversation that you can maintain wizardry in the latter but demonstrate zero skill in the former.

        Deny it, but women do pick up on the omincompetent vibe — yes, even damaged and broken chicks; yes, even through computer screens, cell texts, and phone signals.

        Matt


        • RappaccinisDaughter
          on November 7, 2013 at 1:09 pm
          Original Link

          “You know, for all your braggadocio about unseen exploits with women, you never seem to actually demonstrate that easy charm you boast about here. Not even accidentally.”

          Oh, holy shit. My sides. My fucking SIDES. Did Matt King just accuse YaReally of not being really charming with women?

          You know, Matt, I’m guessing I could have a 10-minute conversation with YaReally without him accusing my father of having molested me.

          I bet, even if he weren’t the slightest bit interested in me, he’d probably be able to talk to me for 10 minutes without informing me that, without a man to properly interpret Scripture for me, I’m doomed to a life of inconsequential emptiness.

          I bet that, when YaReally talks to women, they never start mentally mapping the shortest route to the exit, or frantically signaling their friends to come and rescue them.

          I bet the last time YaReally made a girl’s skin crawl was when he chased her around the swingset, pretending to swipe her with a booger. And that was in the third grade.


        • YaReally
          on November 7, 2013 at 2:40 pm
          Original Link

          “you never seem to actually demonstrate that easy charm you boast about here. Not even accidentally.”

          lol that’s an easy one. You and I use this site in a different way.

          I have friends in real life, and I’m out meeting new men and women in person every weekend. I’m also meeting those women in environments where they’re dolled up and looking their best. I don’t need friends here, and I don’t need to flirt it up with women here. To me the girls here are 7s at best (your lover FeministX is a butterface with serious aspergers who’s fucking a married guy…you keep telling me about all these high-quality women you roll with that you wouldn’t introduce me to in real life, are they as high-quality as her?), and they live in other parts of the world where I’m unlikely to run into them anyway. I don’t care if they like me or not. Hell, I don’t even care if the men here like me. I’m only here to spread game knowledge and help guys who need help.

          That’s why, when the women here write shit that makese sense and aligns with actual applicable game logic, I give them props or back them up if they’re in a discussion. When they write gay attention-whore shit like “I’m so wet right now, doesn’t that factor into your opinion???”, I make fun of them. Because that shit is solipsistic nonsense and sidetracks a legitimate discussion that could help men.

          You don’t really have a social life. At best, you probably have a handful of like-minded guys who also think they’re better than everyone else, but who also chase around average 7s. These guys are your frat bros from way back and you think they’re better than everyone else. But day to day, you don’t really meet new people and socialize, and you’re not the top dog of your frat bros. So you come on here for your social validation. You prance around declaring yourself better than everyone, Greg sucks your dick a bit, and you work your “charms” on the women trying to be some kind of combination of disciplinarian (of course you can’t discipline when they don’t respect you) orbiter because you’re hoping that if the girls here talk and flirt with you, other guys here will be jealous of your “mad online game skillz yo” and you can get that validation you’re looking for.

          The reality is that everyone laughs at you when you hit on the girls here, including the girls themselves. But the girls are polite about it and it’s fun to flirt so they play along…but there is no girl here who would ever realistically fuck you, in a million years.

          “Deny it, but women do pick up on the omincompetent vibe — yes, even damaged and broken chicks; yes, even through computer screens, cell texts, and phone signals.”

          You can have ‘em. I’ll stick to girls in the real world.

          This entire thing very clearly demonstrates how much you ping off other people to determine value (this is also what women do). The Manosphere is a popularity contest for you. You are like a chick in junior high, looking at value based on “ya but more people like meeeeee so nyah nyaaaah”. It’s silly and just tells me that people in your day to day life don’t view you as having much value, because you have to come here, a place that you openly loathe and where people openly loathe you, to chase validation and try to bully your way into value.

          …and when you can’t get it here, then you stalk FeministX to her personal blog to vent your “disciplinary orbiter” confessions of love to her. lol

          Srsly Matt, it’s time to get off teh Interwebz. :)



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on November 6, 2013 at 3:05 pm
Original Link

lol troll. PUAs don’t hire ourselves out like dick-wielding hitmen. Any decent PUA would’ve told this guy to get over his one-itis.

No comment on the rest of it except to say that punching the guy out for him touching your face won’t get the girl…she wasn’t attracted to you before, she won’t be after that. You’d be risking jail or death/paralysis/etc. for the sake of some chick who won’t bang you either way and saving your ego in front of people who either don’t respect you already or don’t give a shit about you.

The reality is that giving a shit about “disrespect” comes from insecure ego protection. If you knew you could turn around after the face touch and go fuck the 3 hottest chicks in the room at the same time you would not give a fuck. But you can’t, so your brain panics “omg everyone including myself will think I’m a pussy if I don’t do something!!”

Nothing that happens in a bar is worth fighting over. That’s what bouncers, cops, etc. are for.

http://theactualityoffighting.blogspot.ca/ – type “one punch” into the Search form


  • feministx
    on November 6, 2013 at 9:11 pm
    Original Link

    “You’d be risking jail or death/paralysis/etc. for the sake of some chick who won’t bang you either way and saving your ego in front of people who either don’t respect you already or don’t give a shit about you.”

    Dude, let’s be real. Doesn’t matter if what you say makes sense. Doesn’t matter if CH is totally full of it when he claims he would punch a guy for touching his face in condescension. The fact that he made the claim made him sexier.

    Today I read this OP and I was like “I wanna know a story about how Heartsie punched some dude in a fit of rage. I want the story to be full of self aggrandizing flowery prose. I believe this story will make me touch myself. Lots.”


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 11:26 pm
      Original Link

      “I want the story to be full of self aggrandizing flowery prose. I believe this story will make me touch myself. Lots.”

      My bad. I didn’t realize the Manosphere’s purpose now was to write erotica for solipsistic attention-whores to rub one out to. I thought we were aiming to help men.

      No one gives a shit whether you’re wet or not. Except Matt King.


    • YaReally
      on November 7, 2013 at 2:06 pm
      Original Link

      ;)


    • YaReally
      on November 7, 2013 at 2:40 pm
      Original Link

      “you never seem to actually demonstrate that easy charm you boast about here. Not even accidentally.”

      lol that’s an easy one. You and I use this site in a different way.

      I have friends in real life, and I’m out meeting new men and women in person every weekend. I’m also meeting those women in environments where they’re dolled up and looking their best. I don’t need friends here, and I don’t need to flirt it up with women here. To me the girls here are 7s at best (your lover FeministX is a butterface with serious aspergers who’s fucking a married guy…you keep telling me about all these high-quality women you roll with that you wouldn’t introduce me to in real life, are they as high-quality as her?), and they live in other parts of the world where I’m unlikely to run into them anyway. I don’t care if they like me or not. Hell, I don’t even care if the men here like me. I’m only here to spread game knowledge and help guys who need help.

      That’s why, when the women here write shit that makese sense and aligns with actual applicable game logic, I give them props or back them up if they’re in a discussion. When they write gay attention-whore shit like “I’m so wet right now, doesn’t that factor into your opinion???”, I make fun of them. Because that shit is solipsistic nonsense and sidetracks a legitimate discussion that could help men.

      You don’t really have a social life. At best, you probably have a handful of like-minded guys who also think they’re better than everyone else, but who also chase around average 7s. These guys are your frat bros from way back and you think they’re better than everyone else. But day to day, you don’t really meet new people and socialize, and you’re not the top dog of your frat bros. So you come on here for your social validation. You prance around declaring yourself better than everyone, Greg sucks your dick a bit, and you work your “charms” on the women trying to be some kind of combination of disciplinarian (of course you can’t discipline when they don’t respect you) orbiter because you’re hoping that if the girls here talk and flirt with you, other guys here will be jealous of your “mad online game skillz yo” and you can get that validation you’re looking for.

      The reality is that everyone laughs at you when you hit on the girls here, including the girls themselves. But the girls are polite about it and it’s fun to flirt so they play along…but there is no girl here who would ever realistically fuck you, in a million years.

      “Deny it, but women do pick up on the omincompetent vibe — yes, even damaged and broken chicks; yes, even through computer screens, cell texts, and phone signals.”

      You can have ‘em. I’ll stick to girls in the real world.

      This entire thing very clearly demonstrates how much you ping off other people to determine value (this is also what women do). The Manosphere is a popularity contest for you. You are like a chick in junior high, looking at value based on “ya but more people like meeeeee so nyah nyaaaah”. It’s silly and just tells me that people in your day to day life don’t view you as having much value, because you have to come here, a place that you openly loathe and where people openly loathe you, to chase validation and try to bully your way into value.

      …and when you can’t get it here, then you stalk FeministX to her personal blog to vent your “disciplinary orbiter” confessions of love to her. lol

      Srsly Matt, it’s time to get off teh Interwebz. :)



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 6, 2013 at 3:21 pm
Original Link

The reality is that giving a shit about “disrespect” comes from insecure ego protection. If you knew you could turn around after the face touch and go fuck the 3 hottest chicks in the room at the same time you would not give a fuck. But you can’t, so your brain panics “omg everyone including myself will think I’m a pussy if I don’t do something!!”

If I knew I could have the hottest chicks in the room it would still bug me (or maybe I’m just speaking from a beta point of view?). He can try and humiliate me all he wants with his words but he should never touch me.

AMOGS who do that probably size up their victims beforehand knowing that they won’t fight back.

What’s the best response when this happens? Like CH said verbally try and own him? ie “what is that like a signal for gay sex?”


  • YaReally
    on November 6, 2013 at 4:44 pm
    Original Link

    “it would still bug me”

    Why?

    He didn’t punch you, just touched you condescendingly. Is it being treated like a little bitch by another man that would bug you? ’cause that’s just an ego-based reaction…”aww man, he thinks I’m a pussy, I have to do something to make him not think I’m a pussy!!”

    I’m not saying you have to ignore it, but 1) it shouldn’t phase you, and 2) it doesn’t warrant physical assault or escalating things to a fight…that shit is just trying to save face, avoid embarrassment, etc. which are all just forms of ego-protection which is based in a scarcity/insecure mindset.


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 4:51 pm
      Original Link

      On top of that, what will you do when you’re too old to physically fight?

      What about when you have 2 kids at home that need you to be able to come home safe so you can take care of them and need you to not spend a month in the hospital or wasting their college fund on lawyer fees defending yourself?

      What about when the guy has 4 buddies behind you watching that you don’t realize are his buddies until they jump you on your way out the door after a couple more beers?

      It’s the same lesson they tried to teach everyone in Back To The Future where Marty tries to not look like a bitch whenever he gets called “chicken”, and then he realizes he would’ve gotten smoked by another car for no real reason in an attempt to save face.

      Sooner or later you gotta’ grow up and learn to handle your shit without violence.


      • Patrice
        on November 6, 2013 at 5:01 pm
        Original Link

        Sooner or later you gotta’ grow up and learn to handle your shit without violence.

        So the best case scenario is to tool the guy with words and make him look stupid without getting your ass kicked?

        Or tool him back and then befriend him?

        Or be so self assured that this stuff wouldn’t even bother you and everyone would know the AMOG is an idiot?

        Don’t have to answer these questions btw I’m just putting out thoughts.


        • YaReally
          on November 6, 2013 at 7:04 pm
          Original Link

          Any of those are good solutions. Also walking away. What do you lose shrugging and walking away? There are billions of other girls out there, so who cares?

          How would you handle it if it was a 5yo calling you a poopy-head and touching your face? Punch the kid in the face? Or laugh it off because it’s irrelevant and silly to you that a 5yo would think anything he does to “tool” you would affect you in any way?

          If I say “your hair is blue, what a freak, dude why is your hair blue, you look stupid with blue hair”, you would go “uhh, okay? wtf.” and not give a fuck because your hair isn’t blue.

          But if I pick something you’re insecure about and say like “what a loser virgin, can’t even get fuckin laid, what a pussy lol look at the loser virgin”, you might get mad, because that’s something that hits a sensitive spot for you.

          The only difference between the “blue hair” and the “loser virgin” insults are that YOU give weight to one of them and not the other, based on your own insecurities/emotions. If you put no value in what I say or do, it’s as insignificant as the “blue hair” insults.


          • YaReally
            on November 6, 2013 at 11:50 pm
            Original Link

            @Patrice

            “You have an awesome mentality”

            Thanks, it’s 100% learned. I had the same low-value thinking as the average AFC before I got into pickup. I had to actively work on rewiring my brain to think more positively and not be so reactive to the world around me. Most things that people consider problems are just silly to me, but they were big problems to me back in the day too.

            “Do you ever get riled up over anything?”

            It’s rare and generally my own shit, like frustrated with myself for fucking up, or like, raging at my computer over work stuff lol Most people I know in real life have never seen me mad. It’s not that I’m bottling it up or anything, I just legitimately don’t give a lot of power to the things that other people do.

            Some people will rage over being stuck in traffic. To me it’s like well, that sucks, time to flip on the radio, guess I’d better leave earlier next time. It’s not THAT big a deal in the long-run, but some people will let that destroy their entire day, maybe even their WEEK. Like, seriously? That’s not a real problem. I’ve had real problems, and they aren’t shit like being stuck in traffic or spilling a drink on your shirt or some guy at the bar tooling you. That’s all silly to get worked up over.

            “Do AMOGs try to rile you up or do they instinctively know they can’t mess with you?”

            I’m a completely average unremarkable looking guy, and I tend to put myself into environments where I clearly don’t belong (only city boy in a cowboy bar, only old guy in a young people club, only poor guy in a rich club, etc.) so AMOGs always think I’ll be an easy target. Like “who’s that city boy talkin’ to that girl, doesn’t he know she’s here for a REAL man?” as some beefy bull-riding cowboy saunters over to try to tool me in front of the girls.

            But I’m sharp as fuck and it only takes a few seconds for the guy to realize he made a mistake lol Most guys, especially good-looking situationally confident guys, rely on you to be intimidated by them, so their AMOG skills really aren’t that good…it’s like an average boxer picking on disabled people. He doesn’t have to be a very good boxer if the other person has a limp.

            So I have the element of surprise because they completely don’t expect me to 1) not be intimidated, or 2) to be able to tool them back, or 3) be able to keep the girls’ attention and turn the girls and their group against them and apply social pressure.

            Usually I end up befriending them because they realize they aren’t going to win and I don’t like to have to watch over my back all night, so I’ll tool them and then back off and offer an olive branch and even give them a girl if I’m talking to more than one.

            Again all of this is learned. I got tooled and owned all the time, by guys AND girls, as hard as the OP’s pretend story, back when I started out lol


          • YaReally
            on November 7, 2013 at 10:31 pm
            Original Link

            @man reader

            “I simply cannot go out more than once a week and drink or be in bars where there is smoke.”

            Don’t drink. Do day-game. Game out on the street instead of inside the bars (act like you just came out or like you’re just heading to meet up with friends and #-close). Go out on the patios of the bars where the smoke won’t bother you, or pick bars/lounges that don’t allow smoking. Game in malls, bookstores, coffee shops, parks, etc. Game on your lunch break. Game during Happy Hour after work, and just drink waters. Game online (if you have to, the quality of chicks online is pretty shit). Game at the gym, grocery store, market…walk down your city’s main shopping district and pop into stores and game. Game at festivals during the day. Game on the subway.

            Plenty of options that don’t involve staying out till 2am or ruining your health.

            “You say don’t drink. Well, even if I don’t drink, I also can’t stand not getting enough sleep.”

            Sleep is important. Look into managing your time. I used to wake up at 7am, go to work till 5pm, come home and take a 3 hour nap till 8pm, shower and hit the bars, then come home at midnight if I wasn’t feeling it or my goals were accomplished or I had a # etc., and be asleep by 1am to wake up at 7am. If it looked like things would pan out with a chick, I’d stay out later and push to get her out of there before 2am. If it didn’t look feasable, I’d just grab her # and try to arrange a Day 2 instead because I didn’t want to be slogging at work and I could still get home and be in bed by 3am for 4 hours of sleep. Also I would occasionally take quick 45 min naps at noon at the office.

            Another option would be to keep your same schedule, but do your sarging after work, from 5pm – 9pm. Or from 7pm – 11pm. Or do an hour a day of day-game on your lunch break.

            You don’t have to go out hardcore every single night (tho that can be good in periods where you can afford to do that)…go out for 30-60 minutes a day and do some street approaches, that’s enough time to approach 1-6 chicks.

            If you use these alternate schedules/locations, you’re less likely to land yourself a same night One Night Stand (tho it IS entirely possible to pull to sex off a day-game approach), but you have to juggle how bad you want an ONS with how bad you want to be in tip-top shape health-wise for work etc.

            It sounds like the random ONS isn’t that important to you, like you’re more looking for a solid steady girl or three, so losing the easier ONS for more contact-closes that lead to Day 2′s (arranged to be during your free time), would probably jive well with your schedule.

            “Because of drinking just a few drinks”

            You didn’t have to drink. :) RSD Tyler, Julien, and Brad don’t drink. I went through around 9 months where I didn’t drink at all and was still going out regularly and I’m trying to cut back now as I get older ’cause my body isn’t bouncing back from nights out the way it did at 25 so it’s time to take care of my health.

            “and going to bed at 2 AM (and then not sleeping well)”

            If you had kissed her sooner, you might’ve been banging her by 10 and sending her home by midnight. Now you have incentive to escalate faster. ;) You chose to play guitar till 1am on a sarge that wasn’t leading to a lay. I’m not saying you needed to kick her out as soon as she said she wasn’t putting out, but here are a couple options to handle it for the future:

            1) slow your game down into a Day 3. Plan in advance for the lay to NOT happen on the Day 2′s…use the Day 2 to do all your comfort/rapport building like you did, and then instead of inviting her over, get her to the point where she’s super attracted to you and WANTS to come over, then end the date and go “well I have to work in the morning and I can’t stay up all night. We’ll do this again sometime. ;) ” and leave HER with blue-balls. Then arrange a Day 3 next week (or a few days later or whatever) that’s just “watching a movie at my place” or “cooking dinner at my place” etc., where you know it’s only going to take 30-60 min to get her horny and fucking you. So that’s two Day 2′s, but both start around 7pm and end around 10pm. Kick her out after the bang on the Day 3 and you’re fast asleep by 11. If that’s too late for you, have her meet you at 5pm after work somewhere. If she won’t do it, keep building attraction/comfort until you’re high-value enough to her that she’ll rush over after work for you.

            To help with this, stress the importance of your job to her, and that you’re a busy man with a busy schedule because you have to be sharp in the courtroom. This gives you an out to end the date at any point. Which point do you end it? On a high-note, of course. Right when she’s into you, you cut it off and play the slower-track game.

            2) speed your game up. Kiss her right off the bat, lace your dinner conversation with innuendo and sexual topics, eye-fuck the shit out of her while you two talk, pick an intimate location for dinner instead of a bright loud one (no idea if you did this or not), and escalate as soon as you get out of the restaraunt, makeout in the parking lot, take her to your place, and pin her up against the wall right away to escalate to sex instead of watching her play with dumbbells and shit. If you lay the sexual groundwork during dinner and escalate as soon as you get to your place at, say, 9pm, you could bang and be sending her home by 10:30-11pm so you can sleep. And if you don’t drink anything at dinner or when you get home (don’t need a drink at home, since you escalate in the doorway, I save $ on alcohol this way lol part of why I escalate fast is so I don’t have to give them my alcohol), you should get a nice satisfied night’s sleep with no hangover. If 11pm is too late for you, start dinner at 6pm instead of 7pm.

            “And I don’t like having a beer gut and I like to have the energy to get to the gym.”

            I hear that. Like I say, as I get older I’ve noticed my body is more inclined to go to shit if I don’t take care of it. A bad hangover can wreck me for a few days in general and throw all sorts of shit off track.

            But a lot of the self-destructive choices that you make are a result of 1) YOUR decisions, and 2) social conditioning that tells you “I’m in a bar, so I must have a beer”, “I must have a glass of red wine with my steak”, “she’s at my house so I must offer her a beer”. These are all rules you can break and ignore with a strong frame. If she asks “why aren’t you drinking?” you say “I like to take care of my body. Besides, I don’t need to be drunk to take advantage of you… ;) And I wouldn’t want you to get so drunk that you don’t remember the things we do tonight. ;) ” Like, it’s all in how you frame it.

            “what if I want/need to be a provider.”

            Here’s how you turn a fuckbuddy into a girlfriend: see her more than once a week. Done. You can’t skip the screening process and jump into a relationship. I mean, you CAN, theoretically, but you will end up with a shitty chick who will be a shitty mother who divorces you and takes half of that money you’re working hard to earn right now. It’s important to meet a lot of women and learn what you like and don’t like, and what are dealbreakers for you, and screen for which ones would be quality wives, quality mothers to your future children, etc.

            Social conditioning told us that if we just put our nose to the grindstone and get a good career, that that perfect marriage-quality wife will fall into our lap…I mean, that’s how it happens in all the romantic comedies, right? But the reality is that that generally doesn’t happen. All the universe throws at you are average chicks at best, and that’s depending on what your job IS, and even THEN that comes with a lot of “shit where you eat” issues and drama that the movies forget to mention.

            If you want a quality girl, you have to go out and find her. And if you want to go out and find her, you have to schedule things in a way that works with the rest of your life and build a strong frame to work around the stuff that doesn’t work…whether that means grabbing a # at Happy Hour while you sip on a glass of water, or whether that means going to a lounge or bar from 9-11pm and heading home for a good night’s sleep with a few more approaches under your belt.

            When you think about it, there is literally NOTHING stopping you from going for a walk up and down a busy street in your city, for one hour, and approaching every single woman you see, and trying to get her number. Like, logically there is nothing stopping you from doing that. You could do that every single day for a year. If you approached 6 women in that hour (10 min per chick), in a week you would have met 42 women, and in a year you’d have met 2184 women. Out of 2184 women, odds are a few of those would be long-term relationship and possibly marriage-quality to you. And that’s ONE year.

            That’s in just ONE hour a day, sober, at a time of day that doesn’t interfere with the rest of your schedule at all.

            We have opportunities all around us, we just have to open our eyes to them and get creative.

            “I fucked up taking that path 15 years ago, but that’s what I did and now I have golden handcuffs.”

            You’ll be fine. If you really want it, you’ll figure out a way to get it. ;)


        • Scray
          on November 7, 2013 at 1:30 am
          Original Link

          Lol this shit has actually happened to me. It really depends on context. In private with your bros — like at a kickback or house party — knock yourself out…try to wrestle him or trip him or push him, etc. As long as you know going into it that it’s just going to make you both look like fagchumps lol But hey, that -is- how guys bond sometimes.

          As a little guy I have been AMOG’d hard — literally slapped twice — in social settings. There’s this guy, 6’6 who just likes to tool everyone as hard as he can because of his height. He’s lanky as fuck, and is generally a decent guy — but he’s used to people deferring to him because of his height and when it doesn’t happen, because other people (me or anyone else) slowly prove themselves to be tighter, he starts with very lame obvious AMOG attempts.

          Anyway, after several other attempts (like him taking something I was holding and throwing it away), finally….he slapped me one time. The first time I just turned it into a joke by not reacting and continuing to talk. But then, he did it again about a week later — this is when I was starting to get better at holding court. I didn’t pause, I didn’t flinch, I just threw my drink in his fucking face. (Hilarious visual because it went up in a directed spray) Imagine how the Dog Whisperer does his little ‘psst’ thing. It was like that. I knew he was all bark and no bite, and when push came to shove what did he do?

          “SCRAY WHAT THE FUCK? DUDE? WHAT THE FUCK? JESUS CHRIST YOU FUCKING MORON, WHAT THE FUCK?”

          And as he does it, I just turn as though a dog is barking. /ignore. Value rises.
          Now, I know this guy pretty well so….lol throwing a drink in his face was a very calculated move based on a LOT of observation. Honestly tho, it’s different in social circle. There’s so much to that.

          See, naturals/lesser alphas/whatever fight with one another all the goddamned time. Always testing one another. That’s all it is lol. Seriously. It’s kind of retarded. But, you have to fight back….because that’s how you get known as ‘one of the group.’ When you get known as ‘one of the group,’ in a group of high status dudes….well, then your status rises and you gain that reputation. Plus, lol….I have a bajillion stories to tell.

          If it was a random who did that to me in a group of randoms? lol. Peace. I ain’t fighting over or with any strangers. Congrats phags, you win.

          So there are the situations. If you’re trying to break in (or raise your status within) a high status social group, prepare to be tested and AMOG’d. In those cases, I’d say that you HAVE to fight back in SOME way. You have to observe the other dudes in the group and do something that you know they won’t come back at you on — which takes skill. Some would say….calibration.


          • YaReally
            on November 7, 2013 at 12:24 pm
            Original Link

            Lol’ed at the instant drink in his face then ignore. Solid.

            Ya, social circle is different. Guys play-wrestle and talk shit etc all the time. I’m too old for the wrestling shit with my younger buddies but I’ll verbally tool them as a bonding thing. It’s safe in social circles cause you know it’s not gonna end with a knife in your gut…at WORST it’ll end in a drunken wrestle-fest where you guys vent whatever baggage you have with eachother out and then buy eachother a beer.

            I remember when I first got into pickup and started socializing and building social circles, I just thought guys were mean lol I didn’t understand the whole “test eachother out, establish the order” etc thing. I just thought guys were stupid. I still think it’s dumb when two of my buddies wrestle before the bar and one gets a bloody nose and both are sweaty as ballsacks and obviously the little guy who everyone knew would lose lost, but I understand what they’re doing now lol

            A big part of why I’m able to befriend AMOGs is because I don’t take their tooling personally. I know they don’t ACTUALLY mean to hurt me if, say, they slap me or tool me. They’re just seeing what I’ll do so they can place me in the hierarchy in their mind. So I’m emotionally detached from it. I’m a bit chubby so if they called me fat I don’t defend myself and get mad because I know they’re just trying to guess at what I’d be insecure about…instead I agree and amplify and make the girls rub my belly. Then when the guy is looking puzzled at how that backfired on him, I compliment his 6-pack (since by tooling my weight I know physique is a value to him) and ask for some workout/diet tips and let him feel cool in front of the girls that were rubbing my belly and I tell the girls he’s a cool guy. Now he and I are BFFs and the girls are hanging with two high-value guys. Nice and simple and much better than getting pissed about him tooling my weight and defending myself and getting into a fight over it. There’s legitimately no hard feelings on my end, the same way I don’t hold shit-testing against girls…they’re just acting on instinct.



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 6, 2013 at 3:21 pm
Original Link

The reality is that giving a shit about “disrespect” comes from insecure ego protection. If you knew you could turn around after the face touch and go fuck the 3 hottest chicks in the room at the same time you would not give a fuck. But you can’t, so your brain panics “omg everyone including myself will think I’m a pussy if I don’t do something!!”

If I knew I could have the hottest chicks in the room it would still bug me (or maybe I’m just speaking from a beta point of view?). He can try and humiliate me all he wants with his words but he should never touch me.

AMOGS who do that probably size up their victims beforehand knowing that they won’t fight back.

What’s the best response when this happens? Like CH said verbally try and own him? ie “what is that like a signal for gay sex?”


  • YaReally
    on November 6, 2013 at 4:44 pm
    Original Link

    “it would still bug me”

    Why?

    He didn’t punch you, just touched you condescendingly. Is it being treated like a little bitch by another man that would bug you? ’cause that’s just an ego-based reaction…”aww man, he thinks I’m a pussy, I have to do something to make him not think I’m a pussy!!”

    I’m not saying you have to ignore it, but 1) it shouldn’t phase you, and 2) it doesn’t warrant physical assault or escalating things to a fight…that shit is just trying to save face, avoid embarrassment, etc. which are all just forms of ego-protection which is based in a scarcity/insecure mindset.


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 4:51 pm
      Original Link

      On top of that, what will you do when you’re too old to physically fight?

      What about when you have 2 kids at home that need you to be able to come home safe so you can take care of them and need you to not spend a month in the hospital or wasting their college fund on lawyer fees defending yourself?

      What about when the guy has 4 buddies behind you watching that you don’t realize are his buddies until they jump you on your way out the door after a couple more beers?

      It’s the same lesson they tried to teach everyone in Back To The Future where Marty tries to not look like a bitch whenever he gets called “chicken”, and then he realizes he would’ve gotten smoked by another car for no real reason in an attempt to save face.

      Sooner or later you gotta’ grow up and learn to handle your shit without violence.


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 7:04 pm
      Original Link

      Any of those are good solutions. Also walking away. What do you lose shrugging and walking away? There are billions of other girls out there, so who cares?

      How would you handle it if it was a 5yo calling you a poopy-head and touching your face? Punch the kid in the face? Or laugh it off because it’s irrelevant and silly to you that a 5yo would think anything he does to “tool” you would affect you in any way?

      If I say “your hair is blue, what a freak, dude why is your hair blue, you look stupid with blue hair”, you would go “uhh, okay? wtf.” and not give a fuck because your hair isn’t blue.

      But if I pick something you’re insecure about and say like “what a loser virgin, can’t even get fuckin laid, what a pussy lol look at the loser virgin”, you might get mad, because that’s something that hits a sensitive spot for you.

      The only difference between the “blue hair” and the “loser virgin” insults are that YOU give weight to one of them and not the other, based on your own insecurities/emotions. If you put no value in what I say or do, it’s as insignificant as the “blue hair” insults.


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 11:50 pm
      Original Link

      @Patrice

      “You have an awesome mentality”

      Thanks, it’s 100% learned. I had the same low-value thinking as the average AFC before I got into pickup. I had to actively work on rewiring my brain to think more positively and not be so reactive to the world around me. Most things that people consider problems are just silly to me, but they were big problems to me back in the day too.

      “Do you ever get riled up over anything?”

      It’s rare and generally my own shit, like frustrated with myself for fucking up, or like, raging at my computer over work stuff lol Most people I know in real life have never seen me mad. It’s not that I’m bottling it up or anything, I just legitimately don’t give a lot of power to the things that other people do.

      Some people will rage over being stuck in traffic. To me it’s like well, that sucks, time to flip on the radio, guess I’d better leave earlier next time. It’s not THAT big a deal in the long-run, but some people will let that destroy their entire day, maybe even their WEEK. Like, seriously? That’s not a real problem. I’ve had real problems, and they aren’t shit like being stuck in traffic or spilling a drink on your shirt or some guy at the bar tooling you. That’s all silly to get worked up over.

      “Do AMOGs try to rile you up or do they instinctively know they can’t mess with you?”

      I’m a completely average unremarkable looking guy, and I tend to put myself into environments where I clearly don’t belong (only city boy in a cowboy bar, only old guy in a young people club, only poor guy in a rich club, etc.) so AMOGs always think I’ll be an easy target. Like “who’s that city boy talkin’ to that girl, doesn’t he know she’s here for a REAL man?” as some beefy bull-riding cowboy saunters over to try to tool me in front of the girls.

      But I’m sharp as fuck and it only takes a few seconds for the guy to realize he made a mistake lol Most guys, especially good-looking situationally confident guys, rely on you to be intimidated by them, so their AMOG skills really aren’t that good…it’s like an average boxer picking on disabled people. He doesn’t have to be a very good boxer if the other person has a limp.

      So I have the element of surprise because they completely don’t expect me to 1) not be intimidated, or 2) to be able to tool them back, or 3) be able to keep the girls’ attention and turn the girls and their group against them and apply social pressure.

      Usually I end up befriending them because they realize they aren’t going to win and I don’t like to have to watch over my back all night, so I’ll tool them and then back off and offer an olive branch and even give them a girl if I’m talking to more than one.

      Again all of this is learned. I got tooled and owned all the time, by guys AND girls, as hard as the OP’s pretend story, back when I started out lol


    • YaReally
      on November 7, 2013 at 12:24 pm
      Original Link

      Lol’ed at the instant drink in his face then ignore. Solid.

      Ya, social circle is different. Guys play-wrestle and talk shit etc all the time. I’m too old for the wrestling shit with my younger buddies but I’ll verbally tool them as a bonding thing. It’s safe in social circles cause you know it’s not gonna end with a knife in your gut…at WORST it’ll end in a drunken wrestle-fest where you guys vent whatever baggage you have with eachother out and then buy eachother a beer.

      I remember when I first got into pickup and started socializing and building social circles, I just thought guys were mean lol I didn’t understand the whole “test eachother out, establish the order” etc thing. I just thought guys were stupid. I still think it’s dumb when two of my buddies wrestle before the bar and one gets a bloody nose and both are sweaty as ballsacks and obviously the little guy who everyone knew would lose lost, but I understand what they’re doing now lol

      A big part of why I’m able to befriend AMOGs is because I don’t take their tooling personally. I know they don’t ACTUALLY mean to hurt me if, say, they slap me or tool me. They’re just seeing what I’ll do so they can place me in the hierarchy in their mind. So I’m emotionally detached from it. I’m a bit chubby so if they called me fat I don’t defend myself and get mad because I know they’re just trying to guess at what I’d be insecure about…instead I agree and amplify and make the girls rub my belly. Then when the guy is looking puzzled at how that backfired on him, I compliment his 6-pack (since by tooling my weight I know physique is a value to him) and ask for some workout/diet tips and let him feel cool in front of the girls that were rubbing my belly and I tell the girls he’s a cool guy. Now he and I are BFFs and the girls are hanging with two high-value guys. Nice and simple and much better than getting pissed about him tooling my weight and defending myself and getting into a fight over it. There’s legitimately no hard feelings on my end, the same way I don’t hold shit-testing against girls…they’re just acting on instinct.


    • YaReally
      on November 7, 2013 at 10:31 pm
      Original Link

      @man reader

      “I simply cannot go out more than once a week and drink or be in bars where there is smoke.”

      Don’t drink. Do day-game. Game out on the street instead of inside the bars (act like you just came out or like you’re just heading to meet up with friends and #-close). Go out on the patios of the bars where the smoke won’t bother you, or pick bars/lounges that don’t allow smoking. Game in malls, bookstores, coffee shops, parks, etc. Game on your lunch break. Game during Happy Hour after work, and just drink waters. Game online (if you have to, the quality of chicks online is pretty shit). Game at the gym, grocery store, market…walk down your city’s main shopping district and pop into stores and game. Game at festivals during the day. Game on the subway.

      Plenty of options that don’t involve staying out till 2am or ruining your health.

      “You say don’t drink. Well, even if I don’t drink, I also can’t stand not getting enough sleep.”

      Sleep is important. Look into managing your time. I used to wake up at 7am, go to work till 5pm, come home and take a 3 hour nap till 8pm, shower and hit the bars, then come home at midnight if I wasn’t feeling it or my goals were accomplished or I had a # etc., and be asleep by 1am to wake up at 7am. If it looked like things would pan out with a chick, I’d stay out later and push to get her out of there before 2am. If it didn’t look feasable, I’d just grab her # and try to arrange a Day 2 instead because I didn’t want to be slogging at work and I could still get home and be in bed by 3am for 4 hours of sleep. Also I would occasionally take quick 45 min naps at noon at the office.

      Another option would be to keep your same schedule, but do your sarging after work, from 5pm – 9pm. Or from 7pm – 11pm. Or do an hour a day of day-game on your lunch break.

      You don’t have to go out hardcore every single night (tho that can be good in periods where you can afford to do that)…go out for 30-60 minutes a day and do some street approaches, that’s enough time to approach 1-6 chicks.

      If you use these alternate schedules/locations, you’re less likely to land yourself a same night One Night Stand (tho it IS entirely possible to pull to sex off a day-game approach), but you have to juggle how bad you want an ONS with how bad you want to be in tip-top shape health-wise for work etc.

      It sounds like the random ONS isn’t that important to you, like you’re more looking for a solid steady girl or three, so losing the easier ONS for more contact-closes that lead to Day 2’s (arranged to be during your free time), would probably jive well with your schedule.

      “Because of drinking just a few drinks”

      You didn’t have to drink. :) RSD Tyler, Julien, and Brad don’t drink. I went through around 9 months where I didn’t drink at all and was still going out regularly and I’m trying to cut back now as I get older ’cause my body isn’t bouncing back from nights out the way it did at 25 so it’s time to take care of my health.

      “and going to bed at 2 AM (and then not sleeping well)”

      If you had kissed her sooner, you might’ve been banging her by 10 and sending her home by midnight. Now you have incentive to escalate faster. ;) You chose to play guitar till 1am on a sarge that wasn’t leading to a lay. I’m not saying you needed to kick her out as soon as she said she wasn’t putting out, but here are a couple options to handle it for the future:

      1) slow your game down into a Day 3. Plan in advance for the lay to NOT happen on the Day 2’s…use the Day 2 to do all your comfort/rapport building like you did, and then instead of inviting her over, get her to the point where she’s super attracted to you and WANTS to come over, then end the date and go “well I have to work in the morning and I can’t stay up all night. We’ll do this again sometime. ;)” and leave HER with blue-balls. Then arrange a Day 3 next week (or a few days later or whatever) that’s just “watching a movie at my place” or “cooking dinner at my place” etc., where you know it’s only going to take 30-60 min to get her horny and fucking you. So that’s two Day 2’s, but both start around 7pm and end around 10pm. Kick her out after the bang on the Day 3 and you’re fast asleep by 11. If that’s too late for you, have her meet you at 5pm after work somewhere. If she won’t do it, keep building attraction/comfort until you’re high-value enough to her that she’ll rush over after work for you.

      To help with this, stress the importance of your job to her, and that you’re a busy man with a busy schedule because you have to be sharp in the courtroom. This gives you an out to end the date at any point. Which point do you end it? On a high-note, of course. Right when she’s into you, you cut it off and play the slower-track game.

      2) speed your game up. Kiss her right off the bat, lace your dinner conversation with innuendo and sexual topics, eye-fuck the shit out of her while you two talk, pick an intimate location for dinner instead of a bright loud one (no idea if you did this or not), and escalate as soon as you get out of the restaraunt, makeout in the parking lot, take her to your place, and pin her up against the wall right away to escalate to sex instead of watching her play with dumbbells and shit. If you lay the sexual groundwork during dinner and escalate as soon as you get to your place at, say, 9pm, you could bang and be sending her home by 10:30-11pm so you can sleep. And if you don’t drink anything at dinner or when you get home (don’t need a drink at home, since you escalate in the doorway, I save $ on alcohol this way lol part of why I escalate fast is so I don’t have to give them my alcohol), you should get a nice satisfied night’s sleep with no hangover. If 11pm is too late for you, start dinner at 6pm instead of 7pm.

      “And I don’t like having a beer gut and I like to have the energy to get to the gym.”

      I hear that. Like I say, as I get older I’ve noticed my body is more inclined to go to shit if I don’t take care of it. A bad hangover can wreck me for a few days in general and throw all sorts of shit off track.

      But a lot of the self-destructive choices that you make are a result of 1) YOUR decisions, and 2) social conditioning that tells you “I’m in a bar, so I must have a beer”, “I must have a glass of red wine with my steak”, “she’s at my house so I must offer her a beer”. These are all rules you can break and ignore with a strong frame. If she asks “why aren’t you drinking?” you say “I like to take care of my body. Besides, I don’t need to be drunk to take advantage of you… ;) And I wouldn’t want you to get so drunk that you don’t remember the things we do tonight. ;)” Like, it’s all in how you frame it.

      “what if I want/need to be a provider.”

      Here’s how you turn a fuckbuddy into a girlfriend: see her more than once a week. Done. You can’t skip the screening process and jump into a relationship. I mean, you CAN, theoretically, but you will end up with a shitty chick who will be a shitty mother who divorces you and takes half of that money you’re working hard to earn right now. It’s important to meet a lot of women and learn what you like and don’t like, and what are dealbreakers for you, and screen for which ones would be quality wives, quality mothers to your future children, etc.

      Social conditioning told us that if we just put our nose to the grindstone and get a good career, that that perfect marriage-quality wife will fall into our lap…I mean, that’s how it happens in all the romantic comedies, right? But the reality is that that generally doesn’t happen. All the universe throws at you are average chicks at best, and that’s depending on what your job IS, and even THEN that comes with a lot of “shit where you eat” issues and drama that the movies forget to mention.

      If you want a quality girl, you have to go out and find her. And if you want to go out and find her, you have to schedule things in a way that works with the rest of your life and build a strong frame to work around the stuff that doesn’t work…whether that means grabbing a # at Happy Hour while you sip on a glass of water, or whether that means going to a lounge or bar from 9-11pm and heading home for a good night’s sleep with a few more approaches under your belt.

      When you think about it, there is literally NOTHING stopping you from going for a walk up and down a busy street in your city, for one hour, and approaching every single woman you see, and trying to get her number. Like, logically there is nothing stopping you from doing that. You could do that every single day for a year. If you approached 6 women in that hour (10 min per chick), in a week you would have met 42 women, and in a year you’d have met 2184 women. Out of 2184 women, odds are a few of those would be long-term relationship and possibly marriage-quality to you. And that’s ONE year.

      That’s in just ONE hour a day, sober, at a time of day that doesn’t interfere with the rest of your schedule at all.

      We have opportunities all around us, we just have to open our eyes to them and get creative.

      “I fucked up taking that path 15 years ago, but that’s what I did and now I have golden handcuffs.”

      You’ll be fine. If you really want it, you’ll figure out a way to get it. ;)



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Young Journeyman
on November 7, 2013 at 9:06 am
Original Link

@Yareally

I’ve seen you post stuff from manhood101.com , I’ve almost finished their principiles101 and it certainly makes sense and “feels” true but right at the end they basically plug their own subscription .

Now I’ve looked a little into their courses and I do like that they cater to international people buuut just to be sure I won’t lose my money, what is your opinion on them?

Also is it possible to apply all that stuff without actually getting an instructor? I ask because I live with other people that i’ve known for 10+ years and it would be embarassing as fuck to get ‘social training’ over skype especially when they can hear everything I say / do in my room.


  • YaReally
    on November 7, 2013 at 11:58 am
    Original Link

    Don’t pay for shit. You can learn everything you need to learn on your own with free stuff online. Hit up RSDNation and watch their free videos, tons of good free content there.

    The key is making an effort to go out and apply what you’ve learned in your day to day life. Cause even if you took a course with an instructor, sooner or later the course would be over and you’d be left to rely on yourself lol

    I’ve never taken a bootcamp or had an instructor…I just put a lot of time/dedication in.


    • Lumpy
      on November 7, 2013 at 12:46 pm
      Original Link

      First, ygm.

      Any tips for knocking down bitch shields faster? Shit I should read or vids to watch?

      I’ve hooked up with a couple 6s and 7s the past couple of months through social circle and dates following cold approach, and pulled one girl same night. I get bored of them really fast and I want hotter girls.

      My biggest sticking point is approach anxiety, and I’m dependent on getting a positive reaction within the first minute of the initial approach and if a girl doesn’t give me that I’m out.

      Especially out at hopping bars, the 8+ girls have bitch shields that I don’t have the state or testicular fortitude to plow through. I often I get a backturn, or I say some shit that comes out as tryhard and cliche and within 45 sec she’s back to her friends. That mentally cascades and I find I can’t approach at all by 12:30 or 1am.

      Ultimately I’m working at having fun and liking talking to people more (mad props for context switching between computer work and girls, I do software and I basically hate fun after a day of work. :P ). Until then I’m dependent on tricks to buoy my state. Sooooo, any tips on handling bitch shields more quickly, before anxiety eats me and I eject? I’ve avoided any sort of conscious negging. I’m not sure I have the social calibration to pull them off without insulting the girl. I’m open to working on them, but any other approaches would be great too.

      Thanks!


      • YaReally
        on November 7, 2013 at 5:16 pm
        Original Link

        Will dig some videos up for ya, check back in a few days. Here’s one to get ya started:

        Watch this one in full (it’s pretty short) but pay particular attention to the last section of it, where he describes his mentality of “go ahead, TRY to reject me, I DARE you. Cause it won’t work. :)

        Scray’s comment is on the right track, you have to stick in there and reframe bitch-shields as a positive thing instead of a negative. She mistakenly thought you were one of the normal loser guys that hit on her all the time so she’s trying to brush you off, but that’s cute, she just didn’t realize you’re not like the other guys so now you show her by sticking in and keeping your cool and grinning like you know you’ll turn it around.

        And passing a shit-test and bitch-shields builds attraction, so she’s actually giving you an opportunity to build attraction. So when she tests you, your first thought should be “ahh, here we go, NOW it’s gonna be fun” instead of “fuck this suuuucks just be nice to meeee” lol

        Girls have to have bitch-shields, just to get thru their day. If they were nice to every guy who wanted to fuck them, they wouldn’t get anything done lol So they put up a shield to weed out the guys who don’t have enough intent/confidence to brush past it.

        It’s kind of like the dress code at a bar…that only applies to ugly people. If you’re a boss, you can wear whatever you want. When a girl has a bitch-shield up it’s like oh that’s cute, I bet that’s scary to other guys, but I’m one of the VIPs so it doesn’t even phase me. :)

        Sometimes I’ll even call them out on it like “awww, don’t be mean. I know, I know, you get hit on all night by creepy guys so you gotta’ scare them off lol (to the friend): she must scare half the guys that talk to you away hey?” (work the group, be unphased, turn them against her being a bitch, etc.).

        It takes a lot more work than an easy 6 who doesn’t have any shields up, but every man hits the point where he’s banging a 6 but thinking about all the 8+s he saw that night that he’d RATHER be banging lol

        If it’s any consolation, over time the less power you give the bitch shields and the less reactive you are to them and the more you just brush them aside expecting to succeed, the less tests/shields you get, because it starts to come out in your sub-communications.

        Personally I try to instigate shit-tests and bitch-shields because I know I’ll pass them and I know that’ll spike their attraction when I do. :)


      • YaReally
        on November 13, 2013 at 9:26 pm
        Original Link

        @Lumpy

        Looks like you have 2 key issues:

        1) Needing a positive reaction early on, aka a green-light to continue

        2) Dealing with bitch-shields and not letting them destroy your state

        Both can be fixed with a combo of internal and external game, so you have a lot of options. Let’s start with internal:

        Interally, most of this has to do with your own frame in your head. Like in that Cajun video, where a girl isn’t receptive right away, you might get thoughts in your head like “ahh shit, this isn’t going well” and “damn, I’m looking stupid here, she’s not into me at all”. Whereas I’ve trained my head to reframe a lack of receptiveness as “aww, that’s cute, she’s playing hard to get” and “lol I bet this scares away most guys…good thing I’m better than most guys. She just doesn’t realize it yet, but she WILL, in time. :)

        I’ve used the analogy before that a lot of guys look at pickup as a traffic light where “green means go”, but “yellow and red mean stop”. The trick is to look at it like “green AND YELLOW mean go” and “only red means stop”.

        A lot of girls, especially hot girls, won’t give you any encouragement…because they instinctively want to see if your confidence is based internally on your own solid oak-tree internal beliefs in yourself and your previous successful reference experiences as a man…or if your confidence is based on their approval and opinion of you.

        Because if your confidence is externally based, like you ping off her reaction to feel confident and in state, that means that you’re basically acting like a woman lol It means you aren’t sure of yourself or the value you bring to the table, and that the approval of some silly girl in a nightclub can shake your entire core…and if some silly girl can affect your self-worth that way, how in the world are you going to be the guy that can handle dating an 8+ hottie when guys are trying to steal her from you and she needs to rely on you when she needs support and you have to be tearing up that board-room in your office like a boss landing promotions to provide for the kids you guys have, and how are you going to discipline your guys’ kids when they act out or defy you when you don’t even really believe in yourself?

        I know girls who purposely just stare at guys who approach them. They won’t say anything, they just stare the guy in the eyes for a minute or two…JUST to see what he does. Does he panic and stammer and apologize and explain himself? Does he get nervous and run away, assuming she must not be interested? Or does he stand his ground with a confident smirk and tease her for being quiet/shy, KNOWING that he’s attractive and that she’ll like him?

        This comes down to the old-school David Deangelo concept of “assuming attraction”. Right now you don’t assume attraction, you assume the opposite. Assuming attraction is where you look at a yellow light and assume it’ll turn green instead of red.

        You might look at the interactions right now as you “taking value” from her instead of “giving value”. ie – when you approach or fuck a 9, who do you view as getting the reward? You, because she’s a gorgeous 9? Or her, because you’re so awesome she should feel grateful that you would even interact with her let alone allow her to fuck you?

        This is a tough mental shift to make because it’s hard to say “I deserve a 9″ when you’ve been mostly banging 6s, and we have a lot of social conditioning tha elevates that 9′s value, ESPECIALLY in a bar environment where she is queen of the universe.

        So part of it is faking it till you make it…affirmations, catching yourself when you’re in negative thought loops and purposely trying to reframe them, deluding yourself (“oh that girl told me to fuck off? that’s just cause she wants me so much she can’t stand to be around me” “oh those girls are standing in line behind me? ya that’s ’cause they’re dying for me to make their night better by gracing them with my attention for a few minutes, they could’ve lined up at any other point in this line but OBVIOUSLY they picked right behind me on purpose…sure they aren’t looking at me right now, but that’s just ’cause they’re too shy because they know how awesome I am”), etc.

        Another thing that helps is being around a lot of hot girls in general, but this can be hard to pull off if you don’t have hot girls in your social circles to hang with. When I started out, I was so scared of sexuality because I was so inexperienced (I had never been to bars before, with chicks dressed all slutty and shit), that I would spend time at strip clubs just learning to be comfortable around hot half-naked chicks and trying to hold conversations or eye-contact etc. trying to de-sensitize myself to it. Now I could walk into a stripclub and see two chicks fucking eachother and not even bat an eyelash lol That kind of comfort with women/sexuality tells women that I must have reference experiences of being around hot sexual women.

        Over time it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you “make it” after “faking it” and you start getting hotter girls and it starts to actually become no big deal to you…you might not get them every night or anything, but like, it’s become a part of your reality that you over value even to a 9, so when you approach and she isn’t immediately receptive, your brain goes “that’s silly, she’s just playing hard to get, think of all those reference experiences we have where hot girls were lucky to have us” and it’s easier to plow through into attraction.

        The same internal concepts apply for bitch-shields…as long as you fully believe you’re offering value, a bitch-shield shouldn’t faze you.

        But another internal concept you can apply with bitch-shields is to fully understand that:

        1) girls only shit-test or put up bitch-shields with guys they could potentially fuck…it’s a screening mechanism. She isn’t telling the homeless rapey looking guy covered in his own piss “sorry, I don’t fuck short guys” or “that shirt is gay”. She just avoids him completely or runs away or calls the cops lol So the fact that she’s testing you at all means “in the back of my mind, I could see myself fucking you, but first I have to make sure you’re worth fucking”

        and 2) every time you pass a shit-test you spike her Buying Temperature and spark attration. The act of passing a shit-test is, in itself, attractive to women, because it says all sorts of good things about you (like you’re dominant, confident, you have experience with hot women and know to call them out on their bullshit the same way their Daddy or older brother did, etc.). So look at shit-tests as an opportunity to increase attraction, rather than an obstacle to building attration.

        An interaction where the guy passes 3 shit-tests will spark more attraction in the girl than an interaction where she doesn’t shit-test at all and they just have a pleasant conversation.

        This is actually a large part of my game. Because I fully understand this concept, I purposely instigate shit-tests, because I know that if I can make her shit-test me, then pass that shit-test, I’ll get more attraction than if I approached in a way where she wouldn’t shit-test me.

        Peacocking works off this same concept…Mystery walks in wearing a fuzzy hat and the girl can’t help but make fun of it. He’s instigating a shit-test from her. But he already has a million witty lines prepared for when people make fun of his fuzzy hat, so he shoots one off at her and obliterates her shit-test and she’s attracted. If he had just approached dressed normal, with a normal conversational opener, she might like him, but he wouldn’t get that high attraction spike that passing her shit-test got him.

        I don’t peacock at all, but I instigate shit-tests through my abrasive openers and sexual conversation topics etc. I’ll say stuff like “hi, you girls looked bored and I’m a virgin so I thought I’d come over and try to fuck you. So how’s your night going?” The girls basically can’t NOT shit-test me on that because I said something so offensive and inappropriate…but that’s exactly what I WANT. They say something like “omg I can’t believe you just said that! That’s terrible!” and I use good ol’ Agree & Amplify to pass the shit-test with “oh it only gets worse from here. I’m not even drunk yet. A couple more beers and I’ll be dancing on this table naked.” and they crack up because my frame is solid.

        I get way more attraction from that (and set a much more sexual tone) than I would from a nice “Hi, you girls look fun, so how’s your night going?” approach where they don’t shit-test me. I’m also displaying more of my personality faster when I pass shit-tests, VS a “pleasant conversation” zzzzz…

        So when a girl shit-tests me or has a bitch-shield up, I don’t care at all, and now my brain looks at it like “oboy, this is going to be fun, she has no idea what she’s in for because she’s giving me this great opportunity to build massive attraction quickly, silly girl”.

        So that’s internal.

        Externally, I’m just gonna link some videos where the guys describe stuff that relates:

        Here’s Julien talking about how to break out of an identity that holds you back from the hotter girls:

        Penetrating her auto-pilot responses and making her react to you:

        There’s no such thing as rejection, just “unfinished business”:

        Not waiting for her responses/validation, just plowing and assuming you have value:

        Pickup isn’t smooth, it’s messy, be okay with it not going smooth right off the start:

        Next up is Tyler on Environmental Hypnosis. This can be a big issue because a lot of approach anxiety is based in “I don’t want to look lame in front of the people around me”:


        Tyler on congruency and being real VS being fake, putting on a tryhard/cliche “shtick”. Also at the end you can see Julien when he was new, before he became an instructor, and how nervous and unconfident he seems on camera…compared to his other recent videos where he’s super dominant and comfortable. You can always become more solid in yourself, it just takes going out and gathering reference experience:

        An exercise to try…the jist is learning to treat a 9 the way you’d treat a 4:

        Freedom from outcome…bringing your own passion to the interaction to suck her into your frame instead of letting her determine how interesting the interaction is:

        Hope some of this helps lol. It’s a lot to take in, I recommend watching the videos over a week or two so you don’t get overwhelmed with too much shit at once…this is a long-term thing you’re working on. You’re not gonna fix this in a weekend, it could take a few months or a year+ before you’re fully congruent to it and rewire your brain. So don’t pressure yourself too much, just accept that your goal is a long-term goal and that you’re going to take action toward it and eventually achieve it. :)

        Good luck!



Humiliated In Front Of A Girl

Original Link

via Heartiste

Young Journeyman
on November 7, 2013 at 9:06 am
Original Link

@Yareally

I’ve seen you post stuff from manhood101.com , I’ve almost finished their principiles101 and it certainly makes sense and “feels” true but right at the end they basically plug their own subscription .

Now I’ve looked a little into their courses and I do like that they cater to international people buuut just to be sure I won’t lose my money, what is your opinion on them?

Also is it possible to apply all that stuff without actually getting an instructor? I ask because I live with other people that i’ve known for 10+ years and it would be embarassing as fuck to get ‘social training’ over skype especially when they can hear everything I say / do in my room.


  • YaReally
    on November 7, 2013 at 11:58 am
    Original Link

    Don’t pay for shit. You can learn everything you need to learn on your own with free stuff online. Hit up RSDNation and watch their free videos, tons of good free content there.

    The key is making an effort to go out and apply what you’ve learned in your day to day life. Cause even if you took a course with an instructor, sooner or later the course would be over and you’d be left to rely on yourself lol

    I’ve never taken a bootcamp or had an instructor…I just put a lot of time/dedication in.


    • YaReally
      on November 7, 2013 at 5:16 pm
      Original Link

      Will dig some videos up for ya, check back in a few days. Here’s one to get ya started:

      Watch this one in full (it’s pretty short) but pay particular attention to the last section of it, where he describes his mentality of “go ahead, TRY to reject me, I DARE you. Cause it won’t work. :)”

      Scray’s comment is on the right track, you have to stick in there and reframe bitch-shields as a positive thing instead of a negative. She mistakenly thought you were one of the normal loser guys that hit on her all the time so she’s trying to brush you off, but that’s cute, she just didn’t realize you’re not like the other guys so now you show her by sticking in and keeping your cool and grinning like you know you’ll turn it around.

      And passing a shit-test and bitch-shields builds attraction, so she’s actually giving you an opportunity to build attraction. So when she tests you, your first thought should be “ahh, here we go, NOW it’s gonna be fun” instead of “fuck this suuuucks just be nice to meeee” lol

      Girls have to have bitch-shields, just to get thru their day. If they were nice to every guy who wanted to fuck them, they wouldn’t get anything done lol So they put up a shield to weed out the guys who don’t have enough intent/confidence to brush past it.

      It’s kind of like the dress code at a bar…that only applies to ugly people. If you’re a boss, you can wear whatever you want. When a girl has a bitch-shield up it’s like oh that’s cute, I bet that’s scary to other guys, but I’m one of the VIPs so it doesn’t even phase me. :)

      Sometimes I’ll even call them out on it like “awww, don’t be mean. I know, I know, you get hit on all night by creepy guys so you gotta’ scare them off lol (to the friend): she must scare half the guys that talk to you away hey?” (work the group, be unphased, turn them against her being a bitch, etc.).

      It takes a lot more work than an easy 6 who doesn’t have any shields up, but every man hits the point where he’s banging a 6 but thinking about all the 8+s he saw that night that he’d RATHER be banging lol

      If it’s any consolation, over time the less power you give the bitch shields and the less reactive you are to them and the more you just brush them aside expecting to succeed, the less tests/shields you get, because it starts to come out in your sub-communications.

      Personally I try to instigate shit-tests and bitch-shields because I know I’ll pass them and I know that’ll spike their attraction when I do. :)


    • YaReally
      on November 13, 2013 at 9:26 pm
      Original Link

      @Lumpy

      Looks like you have 2 key issues:

      1) Needing a positive reaction early on, aka a green-light to continue

      2) Dealing with bitch-shields and not letting them destroy your state

      Both can be fixed with a combo of internal and external game, so you have a lot of options. Let’s start with internal:

      Interally, most of this has to do with your own frame in your head. Like in that Cajun video, where a girl isn’t receptive right away, you might get thoughts in your head like “ahh shit, this isn’t going well” and “damn, I’m looking stupid here, she’s not into me at all”. Whereas I’ve trained my head to reframe a lack of receptiveness as “aww, that’s cute, she’s playing hard to get” and “lol I bet this scares away most guys…good thing I’m better than most guys. She just doesn’t realize it yet, but she WILL, in time. :)”

      I’ve used the analogy before that a lot of guys look at pickup as a traffic light where “green means go”, but “yellow and red mean stop”. The trick is to look at it like “green AND YELLOW mean go” and “only red means stop”.

      A lot of girls, especially hot girls, won’t give you any encouragement…because they instinctively want to see if your confidence is based internally on your own solid oak-tree internal beliefs in yourself and your previous successful reference experiences as a man…or if your confidence is based on their approval and opinion of you.

      Because if your confidence is externally based, like you ping off her reaction to feel confident and in state, that means that you’re basically acting like a woman lol It means you aren’t sure of yourself or the value you bring to the table, and that the approval of some silly girl in a nightclub can shake your entire core…and if some silly girl can affect your self-worth that way, how in the world are you going to be the guy that can handle dating an 8+ hottie when guys are trying to steal her from you and she needs to rely on you when she needs support and you have to be tearing up that board-room in your office like a boss landing promotions to provide for the kids you guys have, and how are you going to discipline your guys’ kids when they act out or defy you when you don’t even really believe in yourself?

      I know girls who purposely just stare at guys who approach them. They won’t say anything, they just stare the guy in the eyes for a minute or two…JUST to see what he does. Does he panic and stammer and apologize and explain himself? Does he get nervous and run away, assuming she must not be interested? Or does he stand his ground with a confident smirk and tease her for being quiet/shy, KNOWING that he’s attractive and that she’ll like him?

      This comes down to the old-school David Deangelo concept of “assuming attraction”. Right now you don’t assume attraction, you assume the opposite. Assuming attraction is where you look at a yellow light and assume it’ll turn green instead of red.

      You might look at the interactions right now as you “taking value” from her instead of “giving value”. ie – when you approach or fuck a 9, who do you view as getting the reward? You, because she’s a gorgeous 9? Or her, because you’re so awesome she should feel grateful that you would even interact with her let alone allow her to fuck you?

      This is a tough mental shift to make because it’s hard to say “I deserve a 9″ when you’ve been mostly banging 6s, and we have a lot of social conditioning tha elevates that 9’s value, ESPECIALLY in a bar environment where she is queen of the universe.

      So part of it is faking it till you make it…affirmations, catching yourself when you’re in negative thought loops and purposely trying to reframe them, deluding yourself (“oh that girl told me to fuck off? that’s just cause she wants me so much she can’t stand to be around me” “oh those girls are standing in line behind me? ya that’s ’cause they’re dying for me to make their night better by gracing them with my attention for a few minutes, they could’ve lined up at any other point in this line but OBVIOUSLY they picked right behind me on purpose…sure they aren’t looking at me right now, but that’s just ’cause they’re too shy because they know how awesome I am”), etc.

      Another thing that helps is being around a lot of hot girls in general, but this can be hard to pull off if you don’t have hot girls in your social circles to hang with. When I started out, I was so scared of sexuality because I was so inexperienced (I had never been to bars before, with chicks dressed all slutty and shit), that I would spend time at strip clubs just learning to be comfortable around hot half-naked chicks and trying to hold conversations or eye-contact etc. trying to de-sensitize myself to it. Now I could walk into a stripclub and see two chicks fucking eachother and not even bat an eyelash lol That kind of comfort with women/sexuality tells women that I must have reference experiences of being around hot sexual women.

      Over time it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you “make it” after “faking it” and you start getting hotter girls and it starts to actually become no big deal to you…you might not get them every night or anything, but like, it’s become a part of your reality that you over value even to a 9, so when you approach and she isn’t immediately receptive, your brain goes “that’s silly, she’s just playing hard to get, think of all those reference experiences we have where hot girls were lucky to have us” and it’s easier to plow through into attraction.

      The same internal concepts apply for bitch-shields…as long as you fully believe you’re offering value, a bitch-shield shouldn’t faze you.

      But another internal concept you can apply with bitch-shields is to fully understand that:

      1) girls only shit-test or put up bitch-shields with guys they could potentially fuck…it’s a screening mechanism. She isn’t telling the homeless rapey looking guy covered in his own piss “sorry, I don’t fuck short guys” or “that shirt is gay”. She just avoids him completely or runs away or calls the cops lol So the fact that she’s testing you at all means “in the back of my mind, I could see myself fucking you, but first I have to make sure you’re worth fucking”

      and 2) every time you pass a shit-test you spike her Buying Temperature and spark attration. The act of passing a shit-test is, in itself, attractive to women, because it says all sorts of good things about you (like you’re dominant, confident, you have experience with hot women and know to call them out on their bullshit the same way their Daddy or older brother did, etc.). So look at shit-tests as an opportunity to increase attraction, rather than an obstacle to building attration.

      An interaction where the guy passes 3 shit-tests will spark more attraction in the girl than an interaction where she doesn’t shit-test at all and they just have a pleasant conversation.

      This is actually a large part of my game. Because I fully understand this concept, I purposely instigate shit-tests, because I know that if I can make her shit-test me, then pass that shit-test, I’ll get more attraction than if I approached in a way where she wouldn’t shit-test me.

      Peacocking works off this same concept…Mystery walks in wearing a fuzzy hat and the girl can’t help but make fun of it. He’s instigating a shit-test from her. But he already has a million witty lines prepared for when people make fun of his fuzzy hat, so he shoots one off at her and obliterates her shit-test and she’s attracted. If he had just approached dressed normal, with a normal conversational opener, she might like him, but he wouldn’t get that high attraction spike that passing her shit-test got him.

      I don’t peacock at all, but I instigate shit-tests through my abrasive openers and sexual conversation topics etc. I’ll say stuff like “hi, you girls looked bored and I’m a virgin so I thought I’d come over and try to fuck you. So how’s your night going?” The girls basically can’t NOT shit-test me on that because I said something so offensive and inappropriate…but that’s exactly what I WANT. They say something like “omg I can’t believe you just said that! That’s terrible!” and I use good ol’ Agree & Amplify to pass the shit-test with “oh it only gets worse from here. I’m not even drunk yet. A couple more beers and I’ll be dancing on this table naked.” and they crack up because my frame is solid.

      I get way more attraction from that (and set a much more sexual tone) than I would from a nice “Hi, you girls look fun, so how’s your night going?” approach where they don’t shit-test me. I’m also displaying more of my personality faster when I pass shit-tests, VS a “pleasant conversation” zzzzz…

      So when a girl shit-tests me or has a bitch-shield up, I don’t care at all, and now my brain looks at it like “oboy, this is going to be fun, she has no idea what she’s in for because she’s giving me this great opportunity to build massive attraction quickly, silly girl”.

      So that’s internal.

      Externally, I’m just gonna link some videos where the guys describe stuff that relates:

      Here’s Julien talking about how to break out of an identity that holds you back from the hotter girls:

      Penetrating her auto-pilot responses and making her react to you:

      There’s no such thing as rejection, just “unfinished business”:

      Not waiting for her responses/validation, just plowing and assuming you have value:

      Pickup isn’t smooth, it’s messy, be okay with it not going smooth right off the start:

      Next up is Tyler on Environmental Hypnosis. This can be a big issue because a lot of approach anxiety is based in “I don’t want to look lame in front of the people around me”:


      Tyler on congruency and being real VS being fake, putting on a tryhard/cliche “shtick”. Also at the end you can see Julien when he was new, before he became an instructor, and how nervous and unconfident he seems on camera…compared to his other recent videos where he’s super dominant and comfortable. You can always become more solid in yourself, it just takes going out and gathering reference experience:

      An exercise to try…the jist is learning to treat a 9 the way you’d treat a 4:

      Freedom from outcome…bringing your own passion to the interaction to suck her into your frame instead of letting her determine how interesting the interaction is:

      Hope some of this helps lol. It’s a lot to take in, I recommend watching the videos over a week or two so you don’t get overwhelmed with too much shit at once…this is a long-term thing you’re working on. You’re not gonna fix this in a weekend, it could take a few months or a year+ before you’re fully congruent to it and rewire your brain. So don’t pressure yourself too much, just accept that your goal is a long-term goal and that you’re going to take action toward it and eventually achieve it. :)

      Good luck!



Study: Power Poses Can Change Your Behavior

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mission Man
on November 5, 2013 at 12:45 pm
Original Link

Lessons from a power alpha:

Someone from my social circle is as alpha as they get. Tall, built, smart, Harvard law grad. Senior counsel at some fortune 100 company. His wife is a hard 9 with crystal blue eyes. She works at biomed company makes over 100k he makes 300k.

They just posted on facebook that they are having their first child. 100 plus likes and a plethora of comments. In his younger years he probably banged 50 plus chicks, mostly hot girls. When I heard he got into Harvard law I realized what a badass he truly was. Played football in highschool was always a top tier guy. But opposed to the other one hit wonders (guys that were stars in high school) then faded into ignominy he continued to rise in the ranks of social standing. He worked at it.

He had the best pic of single women around him and he landed one of the most beautiful girls that I know. Now with the baby on the way he will begin his own family as his own patriarch. This, is as alpha as you can be.

No gamer can EVER compete with this. EVER EVER EVER. This is why it is important to have some shit going on in your life otherwise all the game you learn will only get you so far. All accomplishment and no game is beta. All game and no accomplishment is also beta. When the years turn your target range will shrivel up quickly.


  • Scray
    on November 5, 2013 at 1:03 pm
    Original Link

    Ya, that’s why there are tons of losers playing videogames all day and smoking weed while the gfs they cheat on support them, buy them everything, etc.


    • Mission man
      on November 5, 2013 at 2:36 pm
      Original Link

      I’m friends with a high status girl. Not only is she hot, but from a prominent family, is smart, educated (top 20 university) and is very selective in her dating preferences.

      No way she fuck some unemployed loser lol. She’s getting courted by the tip top males.


      • YaReally
        on November 5, 2013 at 3:43 pm
        Original Link

        “No way she fuck some unemployed loser lol. She’s getting courted by the tip top males.”

        Hearing this never stops being amusing. She probably won’t long-term date and marry an “unemployed loser” to be her Provider husband because obviously other guys chasing her would make better Providers, but under the right circumstances she’ll make one a fuckbuddy. And she’ll spend her husband’s money on him.

        Girls don’t think with logic when a guy is making them feel emotions, they think with their emotions. That’s why when someone asks them what they want or what they’d do, they answer logically…but in the moment it “just happened”.


  • Hunter
    on November 5, 2013 at 1:17 pm
    Original Link

    You’re too blinded by the image of “success” to realize this, but this doesn’t impress anyone but lower status individuals. If you were at the same level as he is you’d be like “Okay, great, so he basically just works a lot…”


    • Mission Man
      on November 5, 2013 at 2:03 pm
      Original Link

      Tons of hamsterbation on this board.

      Even the CH alpha male test lists career status, level of prestige and income as factors in alpha male status. In addition amount of hair, height, body mass index, weight lifting strength, aggression, etc.

      Unemployed loser playing video games pulling high quality chicks= fat girl saying “they like my personality”


      • Scray
        on November 5, 2013 at 3:46 pm
        Original Link

        Lists them as proxies for alpha male status. Read that article by the attractive man — a lot of those external factors do contribute to the necessary inner “attitude.” HOWEVER….it’s the inner attitude that counts for a lot of the success.


        • immoralgables
          on November 5, 2013 at 4:36 pm
          Original Link

          +1

          Btw, how you holding up man? Read about your situ with Ms. Miscarriage over the weekend. Hope you’re doing well bro I think you will make out okay.

          Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.


          • YaReally
            on November 5, 2013 at 9:21 pm
            Original Link

            @Scray
            “The 7 knows this chick and was friends with her. it’s only a matter of time before she finds out i imagine.”

            ooooooo shit. Didn’t know this. Ya that is a ticking time bomb that’s going to blow up in your face down the road. Just so you don’t get blindsided, be mentally prepared for that to happen.


  • RP
    on November 5, 2013 at 2:44 pm
    Original Link

    The trouble with many guys here is that they have chosen to believe that pussy is the only prize. True, without pussy all other accomplishments are for nothing. But without some kind of a mission in life, a man will always feel powerless, and lost.

    I have been there. I have had 30%+ body fat while I tapped more college ass than 20 other guys put together. I didn’t know what I was doing other than eating, fucking, and playing video games. At first it was heaven. In a few short months, I was depressed and suicidal.

    Only someone who’s been living in the arid lands of dry spells all his life will place such a price on tapping ass as to create a life where all he does is tap ass, eat and play video games.

    [CH: or maybe he just has a high libido.]

    Anyone who’s actually been there knows better.

    [there's not much in this world that's better than sex and love with a beautiful woman. galactic overlordship is pretty good too.]

    Besides, having wads of cash is a prize in and of itself. Then again, if all men were equally ambitious, or had equal integrity, the world would become much more predictable and boring. And women would have nothing but a man’s looks to go by.

    Even the best gamer has little to no chance of out gaming Clooney. Should he want to fuck his girlfriend for a night, any girl will most likely stray no matter how icy cold her gamer boyfriend’s blood might be. And that’s the difference between a guy who just has game, and a man who’s earned his fame, wealth, status, looks, AND has learned game.

    But then, sour grapes.


    • Matthew King
      on November 5, 2013 at 3:30 pm
      Original Link

      Only someone who’s been living in the arid lands of dry spells all his life will place such a price on tapping ass as to create a life where all he does is tap ass, eat and play video games. Anyone who’s actually been there knows better.

      Shh. You’re gonna alienate YaReally’s uppity fan club. And then you’ll be sorry.


      • yeahokcool
        on November 5, 2013 at 3:49 pm
        Original Link

        matt, be fair. you are absolutely misrepresenting yareally and his belief structure.

        regardless of whether or not it burns your ass, people like yareally are generally very successful in life. they have infectious (in a good way) personalities and, more importantly, make people feel good about themselves rather than badly. i know, i know, there is righteousness in lording your superior intellect over the plebs, but, i’m telling you i’d rather give my money to him than you. most other people would too. if he ever decides to make a change in his life to focus moreso on money than pussy, i’m fairly sure he’d be very successful.


        • YaReally
          on November 5, 2013 at 4:08 pm
          Original Link

          “if he ever decides to make a change in his life to focus moreso on money than pussy, i’m fairly sure he’d be very successful.”

          On that note, there are a lot of successful people who are more than happy to help me out when I shift focus, because I’ve selflessly added a lot of value to their lives.

          I’m starting to focus on work/finances this year, but I prefer to attempt to make it on my own on principle…but make no mistake, I’ve turned down generous offers from people and I could shoot out a handful of txts and get pretty much whatever help/favors I need for free if I wanted to.

          When you give people value, they’re generally grateful enough to WANT to give you value back in their own way (even going out of their way for you). Befriend the right people with the right connections and you’ll have an easier ride in life than most people.

          Everyone in business knows networking is important. Learning game is basically becoming amazing at networking. It would be silly to think that developing the skill of “making people like you” wouldn’t help your career goals in any way lol


      • YaReally
        on November 5, 2013 at 3:57 pm
        Original Link

        “Shh. You’re gonna alienate YaReally’s uppity fan club. And then you’ll be sorry.”

        Don’t know why you’d think that, unless you were admitting your ignorance of PUA teaching…Matt King, debating things he doesn’t know anything about? Preposterous!

        “True, without pussy all other accomplishments are for nothing. But without some kind of a mission in life, a man will always feel powerless, and lost.”

        Agreed. This is why for YEARS the PUA community has been advocating having goals as a man in life outside of pickup that are higher priority than getting laid, and allowing girls to accompany you while you travel on your path.

        At the same time tho, we also recommend a period of hyperfocus, especially if you are starting out as a hardcase, to make up for lost time and accelerate your learning and lock-in the new behaviors you’re developing via gathering reference experience in-field…but we encourage guys to eventually slow down back to reality to focus on their main missions in life.

        I’ve said this multiple times, and I can link to videos about it if you want, just like I have before…but I’m sure Matt King is aware of this. I mean, to still hold the view that we teach men to just let themselves go and only chase pussy all day for he rest of their life, in the face of all sorts of evidence to the contrary…well, a person would look pretty silly doing that. It’d almost be like half the shit they write is just them talking out their ass about shit they aren’t qualified to talk about.


        • Matthew King
          on November 5, 2013 at 4:23 pm
          Original Link

          I’ve said this multiple times, and I can link to videos about it if you want, just like I have before…but I’m sure Matt King is aware of this.

          Yes. I am surely aware. You most certainly can link to videos. This is stipulated, uncontrovertible, and indisputable.

          Would I partner with you? No. Purchase equity in your start-up? No. Offer you an executive position? No. Hire you for middle management? No.

          But I would definitely give you a commission sales job, without hesitation.

          Lots of talking up the product, no leadership instincts, particularly when it comes to handling negative feedback.

          Matt


          • YaReally
            on November 5, 2013 at 4:44 pm
            Original Link

            Now, now, Matt…you have to HAVE value to lord it over people. I’m not real concerned that a 5yo won’t let me have one of his cookies either…I know he’s the king of the castle in his mind. It’s cute lol

            If I ruffle your hair and call you a little rascal will you run off to play doctor in the sandbox with Greg?


    • RP
      on November 5, 2013 at 5:30 pm
      Original Link

      [CH: or maybe he just has a high libido.]

      How high? How long can you fuck? How many hours can you spend fucking? I have a very high libido. I fuck almost everyday. Yet I get tired of it once it’s done.

      [there's not much in this world that's better than sex and love with a beautiful woman. galactic overlordship is pretty good too.]

      Can you honestly say this after an hour of fucking too?


      • YaReally
        on November 5, 2013 at 5:56 pm
        Original Link

        I have a Natural buddy who says sex gives him more energy and makes him want more, whereas most guys blow their load and are like “okay fuck off now” lol. He’ll bang multiple girls in a day and gets antsy (and annoying) if he goes more than a couple days without sex.

        Far as I can tell tho, he’s an anomaly. And probably when he gets older he’ll slow up. But ya some guys have crazy libidos.


        • Zombie Shane
          on November 6, 2013 at 6:21 am
          Original Link

          > “He’ll bang multiple girls in a day and gets antsy (and annoying) if he goes more than a couple days without sex.”

          Dude’s dick is gonna be covered in some scary-assed viral and fungal and bacterial growths.

          Have you ever googled pictures of human papilloma virus on the penis?

          https://www.google.com/search?safe=off&tbm=isch&q=papilloma+penis

          I would not want to be the woman who married a fellow like that.

          PS: Dudes who absolutely cannot keep it in their pants very often end up going bi, which is to say, they end up as fags.

          Be careful about getting too drunk in that dude’s presence – particularly if he is substantially larger and more powerful than you, and might have a legitimate shot at pinning you to the ground if you were sufficiently drunk.


          • YaReally
            on November 6, 2013 at 10:41 am
            Original Link

            “Dude’s dick is gonna be covered in some scary-assed viral and fungal and bacterial growths.”

            Ya that’s what ppl who don’t have much sex have been telling him since he was 16 lol He gets checked regularly and has caught a few minor things like chlamydia but most STI shit is just hype to scare teenagers away from sex. If you do some reading, chlamydia and basically everything except AIDS and herpes can be cleared up quick & easy with anywhere from a day to two weeks of pills.

            “Be careful about getting too drunk in that dude’s presence – particularly if he is substantially larger and more powerful than you, and might have a legitimate shot at pinning you to the ground if you were sufficiently drunk.”

            You sound like this hits close to home for you…is there something you’d like to share with the class? Or do you save this fantasy for when you’re alone with the lotion at night?



Study: Power Poses Can Change Your Behavior

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 5, 2013 at 3:53 pm
Original Link

when i joke around with girls on dating sites and we go back and forth, they suddenly start asking serious questions and want answers (for example do you have any pics). i continue joking around and they seem to get mad when i don`t answer them and continue fooling around.

are they mad because it’s a shit test or are they mad at me for not escalating and overgaming?

i haven’t given them direct answers at this point, i just don’t respond to them and the convo stops (which is fine i’m just testing things out).

they’re not giving me a third degree about it, but it seems to piss them off. how do you know if it’s a shit test? should i always be in control of the conversation and not let her dictate the conversation?


  • YaReally
    on November 5, 2013 at 4:32 pm
    Original Link

    “they mad at me for not escalating and overgaming?”

    This. They switch gears to asking serious questions when you pass the “hook point” where they’re actually interested in you (so you’ve entered A2 accordin to Mystery Method). They’re interested/attracted at this point so they want some real answers to make sure it’s safe to continue being attracted to you.

    If you keep teasing, they get frustrated because they want to be attracted to you but they need some reassurance of who you are first and you won’t give them that so they can’t let themselves be too attracted and that’s frustrating to them. Eventually they’ll go “fuck it” and give up lol

    The general rule is tease a couple times, then answer for real.

    Girl: “what do you do?”
    Guy: “I’m the top fry cook at Burger King”
    Girl: “lol noooo you’re a liar!!”
    Guy: “Keep calling me names and I won’t let you use my employee discount.”
    Girl: “lolol c’mon I wanna know for real”
    Guy: “I work at (job).”
    Girl: “omg I knew you were lying lolol I love (job)!”

    So there’s a bit of a tease but then you let her have an answer. As you go from Attraction to Comfort (again using MM as a guide here), you tone down the teasing and only sprinkle it in here and there because you’re building a connection.

    The prob with most guys who don’t learn game is they don’t tease at all so the girl doesn’t get a challenge or feel an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs, so it looks like:

    Girl: “what do you do?”
    Guy: “I work at (job).”
    Girl: “cool…”

    zzzzzzz…same info is revealed to the girl in both cases but one way was emotionally engaging and fun and attractive, the other was boring and handing her his resume.

    The other way guys fuck up is what you’re doing now, where you overgame and don’t pull it back:

    Girl: “what do you do?”
    Guy: “I’m the top fry cook at Burger King”
    Girl: “lol noooo you’re a liar!!”
    Guy: “Keep calling me names and I won’t let you use my employee discount.”
    Girl: “lolol c’mon I wanna know for real”
    Guy: “ok I’m actually the burger flipper instead of the fry cool.”
    Girl: “okay seriously come on”
    Guy: “all the free burgers you can eat!”
    Girl: “I just want to know okay??”
    Guy: “what kind of burger should I make you?”
    Girl: “sigh forget it.” (Delete)

    So congrats, you’re making it past A1 into A2. Try pulling back on the teasing when you sense they’re getting frustrated.

    Then ask them the same question they asked you and qualify their answer like “you’re not making that up are you?” “no I swear!” “Hmmm I love (her answer). You could be trouble for me.” That will take you from A2 to A3, and from there you start transitioning into Comfort aka C1. :)

    A lot of this is calibration in the moment…you have to pick up on her vibe. If you can tell she’s getting frustrated, that’s a good sign because it means you’re able to pick up on that vibe. So now you just have to apply the right tool/mechanic to that situ to progress things forward. Some guys are oblivious to what the other person is feeling…this is why we stress field experience (even just online gaming like you’re doing), because this is an art-form and you have to learn calibration first-hand, you can’t just read about it and be good at it.

    Good luck, keep experimenting!


    • Patrice
      on November 5, 2013 at 8:12 pm
      Original Link

      If you keep teasing, they get frustrated because they want to be attracted to you but they need some reassurance of who you are first and you won’t give them that so they can’t let themselves be too attracted and that’s frustrating to them.

      What do you mean by ‘reassurance of who I am’? This wording confuses me even though I kind of understood your point.

      If my flirting is alpha and I keep giving them more alpha and don’t answer their questions, does it frustrates them because I’m not being beta when I need to be (or should I say, attainable?).

      Or does it freak them out because I’m not letting my guard down and letting someone get to know me, which is understandably untrustworthy.

      Generally speaking, do I have to lie to women about my lack of accomplishments or zero experience? Can I reasonably make shit up? Do I omit? Do I reframe certain things?

      And speaking of this A1 A2 stuff, is the Venusian Arts Handbook by Mystery any good for beginners?

      I have a digital copy of it that’s been sitting in my hard drive untouched for the past 7 years lol.

      Back then I read the first 10 pages but stopped because I couldn’t come to terms with this game shit despite taking the red pill years earlier.

      Reading this stuff was impossible because it made me depressed, angry, and even jealous. I also couldn’t come to terms with my failures with women.

      It’s the same reason I couldn’t finish Neil Strauss’ The Game because it made me sick reading (in super fine detail thx Neil), all the pussy he was getting.


      • YaReally
        on November 5, 2013 at 9:17 pm
        Original Link

        “If my flirting is alpha and I keep giving them more alpha and don’t answer their questions”

        Remember: knowing when to push the interaction forward is also alpha. Being oblivious to her signals (like her trying to get to know you once she’s attracted) is beta. Because an alpha has experience with women and understands when to tease and when to advance.

        A lot of guys think “I teased and she laughed and that was a good reaction. So if I keep teasing she’ll keep laughing and that will be even better!!” But there are stages in the pickup where the vibe changes from teasing to building comfort to seduction etc like Mystery breaks down. You don’t go “hey can I get a female opinion? Who do you think lies more men or women?” when she’s on your couch making out with you, even tho that worked great back in A1.

        “does it frustrates them because I’m not being beta when I need to be (or should I say, attainable?).
        Or does it freak them out because I’m not letting my guard down and letting someone get to know me, which is understandably untrustworthy.”

        ehhhh both kind of. It’s basically like imagine you’re trying to tell someone that your dog died and that person won’t stop joking around. You’re like “no srsly dude chill out a sec I’m trying to communicate something important here” and he’s like “ya I’m communicating something important here too, with my dick, heyoooo Lololllol” and you’re just like fuck this person just doesn’t GET it.

        Mystery Method is a lot to take in but it’s a rock solid breakdown and guide on the psychology of seduction. First step is understanding that girls aren’t evil and don’t hate you, they just react on their emotions in the moment and react to the world around them. They’re like puppies digging in the garden and pooping on the couch…they aren’t doing that to spite you out of evil. If you can let go of the anger you can actually enjoy playing the game even if you gotta clean puppy poop off your couch once in a while lol



Study: Power Poses Can Change Your Behavior

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mission Man
on November 5, 2013 at 12:45 pm
Original Link

Lessons from a power alpha:

Someone from my social circle is as alpha as they get. Tall, built, smart, Harvard law grad. Senior counsel at some fortune 100 company. His wife is a hard 9 with crystal blue eyes. She works at biomed company makes over 100k he makes 300k.

They just posted on facebook that they are having their first child. 100 plus likes and a plethora of comments. In his younger years he probably banged 50 plus chicks, mostly hot girls. When I heard he got into Harvard law I realized what a badass he truly was. Played football in highschool was always a top tier guy. But opposed to the other one hit wonders (guys that were stars in high school) then faded into ignominy he continued to rise in the ranks of social standing. He worked at it.

He had the best pic of single women around him and he landed one of the most beautiful girls that I know. Now with the baby on the way he will begin his own family as his own patriarch. This, is as alpha as you can be.

No gamer can EVER compete with this. EVER EVER EVER. This is why it is important to have some shit going on in your life otherwise all the game you learn will only get you so far. All accomplishment and no game is beta. All game and no accomplishment is also beta. When the years turn your target range will shrivel up quickly.


  • Scray
    on November 5, 2013 at 1:03 pm
    Original Link

    Ya, that’s why there are tons of losers playing videogames all day and smoking weed while the gfs they cheat on support them, buy them everything, etc.


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 3:43 pm
      Original Link

      “No way she fuck some unemployed loser lol. She’s getting courted by the tip top males.”

      Hearing this never stops being amusing. She probably won’t long-term date and marry an “unemployed loser” to be her Provider husband because obviously other guys chasing her would make better Providers, but under the right circumstances she’ll make one a fuckbuddy. And she’ll spend her husband’s money on him.

      Girls don’t think with logic when a guy is making them feel emotions, they think with their emotions. That’s why when someone asks them what they want or what they’d do, they answer logically…but in the moment it “just happened”.


  • Hunter
    on November 5, 2013 at 1:17 pm
    Original Link

    You’re too blinded by the image of “success” to realize this, but this doesn’t impress anyone but lower status individuals. If you were at the same level as he is you’d be like “Okay, great, so he basically just works a lot…”


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 9:21 pm
      Original Link

      @Scray
      “The 7 knows this chick and was friends with her. it’s only a matter of time before she finds out i imagine.”

      ooooooo shit. Didn’t know this. Ya that is a ticking time bomb that’s going to blow up in your face down the road. Just so you don’t get blindsided, be mentally prepared for that to happen.


  • RP
    on November 5, 2013 at 2:44 pm
    Original Link

    The trouble with many guys here is that they have chosen to believe that pussy is the only prize. True, without pussy all other accomplishments are for nothing. But without some kind of a mission in life, a man will always feel powerless, and lost.

    I have been there. I have had 30%+ body fat while I tapped more college ass than 20 other guys put together. I didn’t know what I was doing other than eating, fucking, and playing video games. At first it was heaven. In a few short months, I was depressed and suicidal.

    Only someone who’s been living in the arid lands of dry spells all his life will place such a price on tapping ass as to create a life where all he does is tap ass, eat and play video games.

    [CH: or maybe he just has a high libido.]

    Anyone who’s actually been there knows better.

    [there’s not much in this world that’s better than sex and love with a beautiful woman. galactic overlordship is pretty good too.]

    Besides, having wads of cash is a prize in and of itself. Then again, if all men were equally ambitious, or had equal integrity, the world would become much more predictable and boring. And women would have nothing but a man’s looks to go by.

    Even the best gamer has little to no chance of out gaming Clooney. Should he want to fuck his girlfriend for a night, any girl will most likely stray no matter how icy cold her gamer boyfriend’s blood might be. And that’s the difference between a guy who just has game, and a man who’s earned his fame, wealth, status, looks, AND has learned game.

    But then, sour grapes.


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 3:57 pm
      Original Link

      “Shh. You’re gonna alienate YaReally’s uppity fan club. And then you’ll be sorry.”

      Don’t know why you’d think that, unless you were admitting your ignorance of PUA teaching…Matt King, debating things he doesn’t know anything about? Preposterous!

      “True, without pussy all other accomplishments are for nothing. But without some kind of a mission in life, a man will always feel powerless, and lost.”

      Agreed. This is why for YEARS the PUA community has been advocating having goals as a man in life outside of pickup that are higher priority than getting laid, and allowing girls to accompany you while you travel on your path.

      At the same time tho, we also recommend a period of hyperfocus, especially if you are starting out as a hardcase, to make up for lost time and accelerate your learning and lock-in the new behaviors you’re developing via gathering reference experience in-field…but we encourage guys to eventually slow down back to reality to focus on their main missions in life.

      I’ve said this multiple times, and I can link to videos about it if you want, just like I have before…but I’m sure Matt King is aware of this. I mean, to still hold the view that we teach men to just let themselves go and only chase pussy all day for he rest of their life, in the face of all sorts of evidence to the contrary…well, a person would look pretty silly doing that. It’d almost be like half the shit they write is just them talking out their ass about shit they aren’t qualified to talk about.


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 4:08 pm
      Original Link

      “if he ever decides to make a change in his life to focus moreso on money than pussy, i’m fairly sure he’d be very successful.”

      On that note, there are a lot of successful people who are more than happy to help me out when I shift focus, because I’ve selflessly added a lot of value to their lives.

      I’m starting to focus on work/finances this year, but I prefer to attempt to make it on my own on principle…but make no mistake, I’ve turned down generous offers from people and I could shoot out a handful of txts and get pretty much whatever help/favors I need for free if I wanted to.

      When you give people value, they’re generally grateful enough to WANT to give you value back in their own way (even going out of their way for you). Befriend the right people with the right connections and you’ll have an easier ride in life than most people.

      Everyone in business knows networking is important. Learning game is basically becoming amazing at networking. It would be silly to think that developing the skill of “making people like you” wouldn’t help your career goals in any way lol


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 4:44 pm
      Original Link

      Now, now, Matt…you have to HAVE value to lord it over people. I’m not real concerned that a 5yo won’t let me have one of his cookies either…I know he’s the king of the castle in his mind. It’s cute lol

      If I ruffle your hair and call you a little rascal will you run off to play doctor in the sandbox with Greg?


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 5:56 pm
      Original Link

      I have a Natural buddy who says sex gives him more energy and makes him want more, whereas most guys blow their load and are like “okay fuck off now” lol. He’ll bang multiple girls in a day and gets antsy (and annoying) if he goes more than a couple days without sex.

      Far as I can tell tho, he’s an anomaly. And probably when he gets older he’ll slow up. But ya some guys have crazy libidos.


    • YaReally
      on November 6, 2013 at 10:41 am
      Original Link

      “Dude’s dick is gonna be covered in some scary-assed viral and fungal and bacterial growths.”

      Ya that’s what ppl who don’t have much sex have been telling him since he was 16 lol He gets checked regularly and has caught a few minor things like chlamydia but most STI shit is just hype to scare teenagers away from sex. If you do some reading, chlamydia and basically everything except AIDS and herpes can be cleared up quick & easy with anywhere from a day to two weeks of pills.

      “Be careful about getting too drunk in that dude’s presence – particularly if he is substantially larger and more powerful than you, and might have a legitimate shot at pinning you to the ground if you were sufficiently drunk.”

      You sound like this hits close to home for you…is there something you’d like to share with the class? Or do you save this fantasy for when you’re alone with the lotion at night?



Study: Power Poses Can Change Your Behavior

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on November 5, 2013 at 3:53 pm
Original Link

when i joke around with girls on dating sites and we go back and forth, they suddenly start asking serious questions and want answers (for example do you have any pics). i continue joking around and they seem to get mad when i don`t answer them and continue fooling around.

are they mad because it’s a shit test or are they mad at me for not escalating and overgaming?

i haven’t given them direct answers at this point, i just don’t respond to them and the convo stops (which is fine i’m just testing things out).

they’re not giving me a third degree about it, but it seems to piss them off. how do you know if it’s a shit test? should i always be in control of the conversation and not let her dictate the conversation?


  • YaReally
    on November 5, 2013 at 4:32 pm
    Original Link

    “they mad at me for not escalating and overgaming?”

    This. They switch gears to asking serious questions when you pass the “hook point” where they’re actually interested in you (so you’ve entered A2 accordin to Mystery Method). They’re interested/attracted at this point so they want some real answers to make sure it’s safe to continue being attracted to you.

    If you keep teasing, they get frustrated because they want to be attracted to you but they need some reassurance of who you are first and you won’t give them that so they can’t let themselves be too attracted and that’s frustrating to them. Eventually they’ll go “fuck it” and give up lol

    The general rule is tease a couple times, then answer for real.

    Girl: “what do you do?”
    Guy: “I’m the top fry cook at Burger King”
    Girl: “lol noooo you’re a liar!!”
    Guy: “Keep calling me names and I won’t let you use my employee discount.”
    Girl: “lolol c’mon I wanna know for real”
    Guy: “I work at (job).”
    Girl: “omg I knew you were lying lolol I love (job)!”

    So there’s a bit of a tease but then you let her have an answer. As you go from Attraction to Comfort (again using MM as a guide here), you tone down the teasing and only sprinkle it in here and there because you’re building a connection.

    The prob with most guys who don’t learn game is they don’t tease at all so the girl doesn’t get a challenge or feel an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs, so it looks like:

    Girl: “what do you do?”
    Guy: “I work at (job).”
    Girl: “cool…”

    zzzzzzz…same info is revealed to the girl in both cases but one way was emotionally engaging and fun and attractive, the other was boring and handing her his resume.

    The other way guys fuck up is what you’re doing now, where you overgame and don’t pull it back:

    Girl: “what do you do?”
    Guy: “I’m the top fry cook at Burger King”
    Girl: “lol noooo you’re a liar!!”
    Guy: “Keep calling me names and I won’t let you use my employee discount.”
    Girl: “lolol c’mon I wanna know for real”
    Guy: “ok I’m actually the burger flipper instead of the fry cool.”
    Girl: “okay seriously come on”
    Guy: “all the free burgers you can eat!”
    Girl: “I just want to know okay??”
    Guy: “what kind of burger should I make you?”
    Girl: “sigh forget it.” (Delete)

    So congrats, you’re making it past A1 into A2. Try pulling back on the teasing when you sense they’re getting frustrated.

    Then ask them the same question they asked you and qualify their answer like “you’re not making that up are you?” “no I swear!” “Hmmm I love (her answer). You could be trouble for me.” That will take you from A2 to A3, and from there you start transitioning into Comfort aka C1. :)

    A lot of this is calibration in the moment…you have to pick up on her vibe. If you can tell she’s getting frustrated, that’s a good sign because it means you’re able to pick up on that vibe. So now you just have to apply the right tool/mechanic to that situ to progress things forward. Some guys are oblivious to what the other person is feeling…this is why we stress field experience (even just online gaming like you’re doing), because this is an art-form and you have to learn calibration first-hand, you can’t just read about it and be good at it.

    Good luck, keep experimenting!


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 9:17 pm
      Original Link

      “If my flirting is alpha and I keep giving them more alpha and don’t answer their questions”

      Remember: knowing when to push the interaction forward is also alpha. Being oblivious to her signals (like her trying to get to know you once she’s attracted) is beta. Because an alpha has experience with women and understands when to tease and when to advance.

      A lot of guys think “I teased and she laughed and that was a good reaction. So if I keep teasing she’ll keep laughing and that will be even better!!” But there are stages in the pickup where the vibe changes from teasing to building comfort to seduction etc like Mystery breaks down. You don’t go “hey can I get a female opinion? Who do you think lies more men or women?” when she’s on your couch making out with you, even tho that worked great back in A1.

      “does it frustrates them because I’m not being beta when I need to be (or should I say, attainable?).
      Or does it freak them out because I’m not letting my guard down and letting someone get to know me, which is understandably untrustworthy.”

      ehhhh both kind of. It’s basically like imagine you’re trying to tell someone that your dog died and that person won’t stop joking around. You’re like “no srsly dude chill out a sec I’m trying to communicate something important here” and he’s like “ya I’m communicating something important here too, with my dick, heyoooo Lololllol” and you’re just like fuck this person just doesn’t GET it.

      Mystery Method is a lot to take in but it’s a rock solid breakdown and guide on the psychology of seduction. First step is understanding that girls aren’t evil and don’t hate you, they just react on their emotions in the moment and react to the world around them. They’re like puppies digging in the garden and pooping on the couch…they aren’t doing that to spite you out of evil. If you can let go of the anger you can actually enjoy playing the game even if you gotta clean puppy poop off your couch once in a while lol



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

cryo
on November 4, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Original Link

It’s easier to just actually be aloof than to put on an act. If you stop caring, the rest comes naturally.

Some of you guys take this shit really seriously with your 12 paragraph field reports and whatnot and I’m here scratching my head like “OK?”

They’re just women. Game is great and all but women are women. They are silly and inconsequential. Just stop caring and actually be aloof so you don’t have to comb through the 5000 page Player4Life Technical Manual or whatever.


  • YaReally
    on November 4, 2013 at 2:57 pm
    Original Link

    “Some of you guys take this shit really seriously with your 12 paragraph field reports and whatnot and I’m here scratching my head like “OK?””

    Some people are happy hitting the gym a couple times a week and being in generally decent shape.

    Some people hit the gym daily and track their macros and drink protein shakes because they want to be ripped or jacked.

    Do whichever you like…as long as you’re getting the results you want in life, it’s all good.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

cryo
on November 4, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Original Link

It’s easier to just actually be aloof than to put on an act. If you stop caring, the rest comes naturally.

Some of you guys take this shit really seriously with your 12 paragraph field reports and whatnot and I’m here scratching my head like “OK?”

They’re just women. Game is great and all but women are women. They are silly and inconsequential. Just stop caring and actually be aloof so you don’t have to comb through the 5000 page Player4Life Technical Manual or whatever.


  • YaReally
    on November 4, 2013 at 2:57 pm
    Original Link

    “Some of you guys take this shit really seriously with your 12 paragraph field reports and whatnot and I’m here scratching my head like “OK?””

    Some people are happy hitting the gym a couple times a week and being in generally decent shape.

    Some people hit the gym daily and track their macros and drink protein shakes because they want to be ripped or jacked.

    Do whichever you like…as long as you’re getting the results you want in life, it’s all good.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

Amy
on November 4, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Original Link

What about just “lol” as a response? I’d be so annoyed if I wrote out that polite blowoff text and the guy just laughed at me in response.


  • afica
    on November 4, 2013 at 1:55 pm
    Original Link

    it’s more of you explaining yourself to him. you wouldn’t take the ‘lol’ too personal since you already told him he’s a cr33p. but whenever i read a long paragraph i’m going to try ‘lol’ with a girl that i’m already familiar with


    • Amy
      on November 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm
      Original Link

      Girls take things much more personally than you’d think. I know I’d be a little irritated that I typed out that looooong excuse and he didn’t even seem to care, and worse, he seemed to be mocking me. I’d be thinking, what is this guy’s problem? Making her feel a little foolish, humbled, curious, mildly annoyed…. it’s all good.


      • yeahokcool
        on November 4, 2013 at 2:48 pm
        Original Link

        amy, i don’t want you to feel irritated. i want you to feel intrigued. this is a goode example of why the commenters here should largely ignore what our resident “women” have to say.

        however, i have used “lol” plenty of times, but it works much better with a chick who already has some investment into you.


        • Amy
          on November 4, 2013 at 3:06 pm
          Original Link

          No, minor irritation is good because it operates like a neg. It’s the major irritation (like blowing up her phone after she rejects you) that’s bad.

          When you’re asking out a girl who gets hit on a lot, she starts off with all the power. She’s got her usual deflections and excuses, and she’s used to getting responses that reinforce her power. When the guy doesn’t really care or laughs at her, she loses that power, which is confusing and aggravating. And unusual, which is what makes it so intriguing.


          • YaReally
            on November 4, 2013 at 5:36 pm
            Original Link

            Not applicable to this situation.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

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Amy
on November 4, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Original Link

What about just “lol” as a response? I’d be so annoyed if I wrote out that polite blowoff text and the guy just laughed at me in response.


  • afica
    on November 4, 2013 at 1:55 pm
    Original Link

    it’s more of you explaining yourself to him. you wouldn’t take the ‘lol’ too personal since you already told him he’s a cr33p. but whenever i read a long paragraph i’m going to try ‘lol’ with a girl that i’m already familiar with


    • YaReally
      on November 4, 2013 at 5:36 pm
      Original Link

      Not applicable to this situation.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

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the latent sadist
on November 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm
Original Link

verbosity in text is definitely a turn off. i think it just signals scarcity. there are hacks and things you can employ to give the right impression…but you will give he right impression if you shift from scarcity to abundance mentality. Its such a worn out maxim at this point but its completely true. All people need to know is that an abundance in prospects and abundance in actual sex will free you from the tells that give away your lower status. Its frustrating as fuck to be starting from scratch. No prospects, so sex. you have to go generate some options if you want to avoid the desperate example in this post. Girls are very attuned to signals of scarcity…little offhand comments you make that show you remember details that shes forgotten…etc. this was like a neon bright endorsement of your lack of options. its a phase you go through.


  • cryo
    on November 4, 2013 at 2:40 pm
    Original Link

    Verbose texts aren’t the vagina clamper you make them out to be. It’s all in the content. I can write a long text that’s not beta or approval-seeking. Sometimes when I text girls its almost like I’m talking to myself. But again, I truly don’t give an evergreen fuck and it comes across in my words.


    • Life at Calhoun's Lake
      on November 4, 2013 at 3:15 pm
      Original Link

      Oh you CAN send verbose texts if you know what you’re doing. But for the guy that hasn’t been laid in the last half decade, every extra word is just one more turn at russian roulette.


      • rikard
        on November 4, 2013 at 4:53 pm
        Original Link

        i like to imagine myself being brad pitt, what would brad pitt do if he wanted to get laid? he´d probably text: lets meet, my place at X time.

        better have her thinking im uninteresting than a try hardjackass


        • Scray
          on November 4, 2013 at 4:54 pm
          Original Link

          I could write so much about why I think the ‘Brad Pitt’ test is stupid. Brad Pitt already has ultimate value to the girl. Unless you are similarly situated, it’s mental masturbation.


          • YaReally
            on November 4, 2013 at 5:23 pm
            Original Link

            “Brad Pitt already has ultimate value to the girl.”

            Yep. A creepy/shy/low-value dude who uses jumbotron game is not the same as Brad Pitt using jumbotron game…BP has established value so he can be a jumbotron.

            There are very few instances where a jumbotron text will ESTABLISH high-value where there was none before.

            If you’re going to be jumbotronning, you’d better have been captivatingly high-value as fuck in person so you have high-value established and your jumbotron txts work.

            The prob for most guys learning game is that they aren’t good at the actual pickup and they get what’s already a pretty shaky number as it is because they don’t have the fundamentals down yet, so they seem “okay” to the girl…a nice/cool enough dude to give him a shot but they’re not gonna chase him down begging him to take their number.

            So this hypothetical guy learning game #-closes her with say a 5/10 value (Brad Pitt being a 10/10 value , Matt King being a 1/10 value). But now he has to txt…if he worked on some solid text game and learned to tease, build comfort/rapport, push/pull, roleplay, etc (ie – conveying his personality) he could bump his value up to like a 7/10 and she wouldn’t flake and would bang him.

            But he actively applies jumbotron txts so she doesn’t get any real glimpse into who he is because he’s being all aloof, which at a 7+/10 is fine, but as a 5/10? He’s gonna drop down to a 4/10 because he isn’t interesting and wasn’t starting from a high enough value point and she loses interest and/or flakes.

            Then he listens to the “I just tell girls lets fuck and if they say no I Next that bitch” dipshits who tell him she just couldn’t handle all his alphaness and actually he totally Next’ed her like a boss lol

            If he had run a brilliant initial pickup, he’d be going into txting as like a 7/10 so he could afford to be aloof.

            This is why 1) when guys first start collecting #s in 30-second #-close rampages, they’re devastated to find out that 99% of those numbers flaked and 2) why we encourage guys to go for the full close, not just the #…the further you can get in the pickup before having to resort to txting, the more value you’re going into the initial txt convo with.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

the latent sadist
on November 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm
Original Link

verbosity in text is definitely a turn off. i think it just signals scarcity. there are hacks and things you can employ to give the right impression…but you will give he right impression if you shift from scarcity to abundance mentality. Its such a worn out maxim at this point but its completely true. All people need to know is that an abundance in prospects and abundance in actual sex will free you from the tells that give away your lower status. Its frustrating as fuck to be starting from scratch. No prospects, so sex. you have to go generate some options if you want to avoid the desperate example in this post. Girls are very attuned to signals of scarcity…little offhand comments you make that show you remember details that shes forgotten…etc. this was like a neon bright endorsement of your lack of options. its a phase you go through.


  • cryo
    on November 4, 2013 at 2:40 pm
    Original Link

    Verbose texts aren’t the vagina clamper you make them out to be. It’s all in the content. I can write a long text that’s not beta or approval-seeking. Sometimes when I text girls its almost like I’m talking to myself. But again, I truly don’t give an evergreen fuck and it comes across in my words.


    • YaReally
      on November 4, 2013 at 5:23 pm
      Original Link

      “Brad Pitt already has ultimate value to the girl.”

      Yep. A creepy/shy/low-value dude who uses jumbotron game is not the same as Brad Pitt using jumbotron game…BP has established value so he can be a jumbotron.

      There are very few instances where a jumbotron text will ESTABLISH high-value where there was none before.

      If you’re going to be jumbotronning, you’d better have been captivatingly high-value as fuck in person so you have high-value established and your jumbotron txts work.

      The prob for most guys learning game is that they aren’t good at the actual pickup and they get what’s already a pretty shaky number as it is because they don’t have the fundamentals down yet, so they seem “okay” to the girl…a nice/cool enough dude to give him a shot but they’re not gonna chase him down begging him to take their number.

      So this hypothetical guy learning game #-closes her with say a 5/10 value (Brad Pitt being a 10/10 value , Matt King being a 1/10 value). But now he has to txt…if he worked on some solid text game and learned to tease, build comfort/rapport, push/pull, roleplay, etc (ie – conveying his personality) he could bump his value up to like a 7/10 and she wouldn’t flake and would bang him.

      But he actively applies jumbotron txts so she doesn’t get any real glimpse into who he is because he’s being all aloof, which at a 7+/10 is fine, but as a 5/10? He’s gonna drop down to a 4/10 because he isn’t interesting and wasn’t starting from a high enough value point and she loses interest and/or flakes.

      Then he listens to the “I just tell girls lets fuck and if they say no I Next that bitch” dipshits who tell him she just couldn’t handle all his alphaness and actually he totally Next’ed her like a boss lol

      If he had run a brilliant initial pickup, he’d be going into txting as like a 7/10 so he could afford to be aloof.

      This is why 1) when guys first start collecting #s in 30-second #-close rampages, they’re devastated to find out that 99% of those numbers flaked and 2) why we encourage guys to go for the full close, not just the #…the further you can get in the pickup before having to resort to txting, the more value you’re going into the initial txt convo with.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mr. Roach
on November 4, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Original Link

What’s up with this “world will wait.” That’s so friggin’ gay. That’s what you say when you’re arranging an “afternoon delight” session in a janitor’s closet with your receptionist, not a girl you just met whom you’re trying to meet for lunch or drinks.

What makes you think the world is such a bore for her or that she wants it to wait or that you’re so friggin mysterious and awesome that the rest of her world is worth putting on hold for you? Maybe say, “Look, I felt a connection with you and would like to explore that more deeply.. I have another place to be at 1, but I can fit you in for lunch at noon.” She either says yes or no. It don’t always have to be fancy and by saying what I just said you’re signalling interest and scarcity.

Drinks are always your better bet anyway. Girls like to drink, and it’s lower investment than dinner.


  • haunted trilobite
    on November 5, 2013 at 7:33 am
    Original Link

    What if you’re tee-total?.Serious question


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 9:28 pm
      Original Link

      It’s fine. Tyler from RSD doesn’t drink and he games club chicks. You just need a strong frame. Go for coffee instead of drinks (I just order a hot chocolate cause I hate coffee lol). If she’s into you, she won’t care. If she’s not into you, tighten up your game.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mr. Roach
on November 4, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Original Link

What’s up with this “world will wait.” That’s so friggin’ gay. That’s what you say when you’re arranging an “afternoon delight” session in a janitor’s closet with your receptionist, not a girl you just met whom you’re trying to meet for lunch or drinks.

What makes you think the world is such a bore for her or that she wants it to wait or that you’re so friggin mysterious and awesome that the rest of her world is worth putting on hold for you? Maybe say, “Look, I felt a connection with you and would like to explore that more deeply.. I have another place to be at 1, but I can fit you in for lunch at noon.” She either says yes or no. It don’t always have to be fancy and by saying what I just said you’re signalling interest and scarcity.

Drinks are always your better bet anyway. Girls like to drink, and it’s lower investment than dinner.


  • haunted trilobite
    on November 5, 2013 at 7:33 am
    Original Link

    What if you’re tee-total?.Serious question


    • YaReally
      on November 5, 2013 at 9:28 pm
      Original Link

      It’s fine. Tyler from RSD doesn’t drink and he games club chicks. You just need a strong frame. Go for coffee instead of drinks (I just order a hot chocolate cause I hate coffee lol). If she’s into you, she won’t care. If she’s not into you, tighten up your game.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on November 4, 2013 at 2:40 pm
Original Link

The OP’s texts aren’t really “game”, they’re just weird uncalibrated random sentence fragments and semi-colons. He should never text this chick again…she’s too creeped out to be turned around and it’s probably hard to game on campus when you have a restraining order against you lol

Anyway, since the topic of overgaming VS jumbotron texting has come up, here’s the obligatory link to my archive post on making verbose texting work since I use it all the time:

http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/5/#comment-heartiste-440730



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on November 4, 2013 at 2:40 pm
Original Link

The OP’s texts aren’t really “game”, they’re just weird uncalibrated random sentence fragments and semi-colons. He should never text this chick again…she’s too creeped out to be turned around and it’s probably hard to game on campus when you have a restraining order against you lol

Anyway, since the topic of overgaming VS jumbotron texting has come up, here’s the obligatory link to my archive post on making verbose texting work since I use it all the time:

http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/5/#comment-heartiste-440730



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on November 4, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Original Link

Here are my thoughts on the ‘attitude.’ The ‘attitude’ serves two purposes IMHO — first, it allows you to keep going. Rejected once? Twice? Thrice? Frice? Who cares, keep plowing. Second, it’s what turns a spark into a flame.

Without a spark — and maybe this is sacrilegious — you aren’t going anywhere. But with AT LEAST a spark, you can create a fire. Or you can stomp out that little spark with gay anti-game.

I just think most guys only get with girls when there’s already a fire raging lol. They’re that clueless. And seriously, the ‘spark’ is this simple to me: does she react to your presence, or not. If no, then move on. If yes…you can fuck that girl.

You use direct opener on girl 1: hey what’s up, you look cool gonna talk to you guys for a sec.

Girl 1: [flat tone, but still polite] Oh, well sorry not interested.

Probably can’t fuck that girl

Girl 2: [emotionally regretful tone, looks at her friend, laughs a little] Oh………well sorry, not interested.

Maybe you can fuck that girl. Now maybe something is getting in the way — her friend’s judgment, her bf is there, the logistics are terrible, etc etc etc. But there is ONE path you could take (at least) that ends in you fucking her.

FR –

Convo on college campus where a girl is sitting studying. 6.5, 21y/o. Hella.

Me: Hey, sorry to interrupt you but you look pretty cool and I just wanted to come say hi. I’m Scray
Her: ….hey Scray, I’m 6.5, nice to meet you. Do you go here?
Me: Nah, but I live like right across the street.
Her: Oh, that’s cool
Me: Ya, so that’s a pretty thick book. I’m not gonna lie, I was planning on starting a grift with you where y’know….you’d do everyone’s homework for them and we’d make money off of it.
Her: …..what? Wait….what would you be doing?
Me: Making money. I just told you.
Her: (she laughs)

Get her number, we set up a day 2. Easy, right? WRONG. This was last week just before shit really hit the fan. Behold, the effect of heartbreak on ‘game’ The day before the day 2 I didn’t hear from her. So the day of the day 2

Me: hey did you want to take a rain check on meeting? Haven’t heard from you
Her: I’m sorry
Her: How often are we supposed to talk?
Her: So are we canceling?
Me: No I’m not canceling. Just wondering
Her: How often do you expect to talk
Me: I don’t expect anything. Just curious. Relax
Her: I’m curious too
Her: how often
Me: Idk, if we hit it off every day I guess (……….wut)
Her: ok
Her: Just so I have an understanding
Me: Is 9 a good meetup time? (…….wut)
Me: (3 hours later) Hello? (……wut)
Me: (2 hours later) K gonna assume you can’t make it tonight (….cringe)
Her: (30 mins later) ?
Her: Ok that’s fine I’ll just see you some other day
Her: You freak out immediately if I don’t have my phone every 5 seconds
Me: when I have plans I confirm a few hours before (ya that’s good…just try to slap the puppy in the face….)
Her: well we don’t have plans anymore so you’re fine
Me: Ya. Just my etiquette (AWESUUUUM)
Her: that’s fine
Her: Sorry to waste your time
Her: I don’t text you enough anyway, so sorry.
Me: You free any other days
Her: No
Her: I’m not going to do this to you again
Her: I don’t think I’m good for you
Me: Don’t see what the deal is but K ttyl.
Her: You’re the one who made a big deal. You want ppl to text you a lot and respond right away.
Me: later (fuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark)

So anyway, that slipped through my fingers. She was cute, too. lol.
On to the sarge —

First set, hb 7 sitting by herself on her phone

Me: You playing tetris on there or something?
Her: Hahahaha, noooo…..just….doing nothing really
Me: Did all your friends leave you here by yourself….
Her: No, my husband is at the bar getting us drinks.
Me: Oh wow, you bitch
Her: hahahahaha!
Me: Just shit on my heart. Ha. Later

Next set, walking by these two chicks at the bar — a SOFT 5 and a 6.
5: Hey, that shirt’s pretty cool
Me: ….thanks.

Long story short, the 6 was having some sort of lame-ass bachelorette party or whatever. My wing rolled into the venue at around this time and tried to come over to help with this set…and he was running classic happy-fun-go material, but honestly, I’m not giving much value to a set that doesn’t do it for me. So I actually bounced — and they were talking to me about whatever bullshit was going on with them lol. It’s mental masturbation but 40% fuck-probability on the 6 and 80% on the 5. Srs.

3 — 5,6,6.5 — chicks sitting down as I’m walking out the venue.

Me: Any of you guys interested
All three: Nah, not really.
Me: Have a nice night (give one a high 5)

Next set, a 7 and a 5 sitting down…

Me: Hey, you guys look cool, do you want to talk?
7: Wait, what?
Me: Do you guys want to talk?
7:……aren’t we talking?
Me: ……all right, come on, cut the shit, you know what I mean (lol)
7: (raises eyebrows)……well we’re actually waiting on people.
Me: Okay….have a good night.

Next set — a 7.5 and her 5 friend sitting at the bar.

Me: (I nailed this delivery at least, good body language, good tone, etc) Hey, I just thought you looked lovely and had to come meet you. I’m Scray
7.5: Ohhh….you’re cute, too. Hi Scray, I’m 7.5…nice to meet you….but my boyfriend is right over there. This is my friend, 5.
Me: Hi, 5. Well you guys have a good night.

By chance I run into some friends — classic social circle shit. Two 6′s are there that I realize I could fuck if I pulled the trigger, and a 6.5 that my gut says I could fuck if I pulled the trigger but I’m too chicken shit (she’s also been with two of my friends, so it’d be a little weird).

I think while I deal with this heartbreak I’m just gonna go light direct. I know what I want now….like a girl who looks as good as the 7 but who’s a demon in bed like she-who-will-not-be-named. So I’m just in the mood to screen hard.

There are other girls, too. Like I met this one girl at a halloween party who’s a 7 but she has a bf…so I’m keeping light contact with that one. I mean, compared to last year……at least there are way more prospects, lol. Cause the lineup I have now….I’m just gonna have to change up completely.


  • YaReally
    on November 5, 2013 at 5:24 pm
    Original Link

    I found a video of you txting that girl:

    http://www.wowheylook.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/trainwreck-o.gif

    Lol no comment on any of this cause you know it was a mess. This is part of why I recommend taking a little time off, your know the right actions to take but your headspace is just not going to be in the right place for a while…which is good, it means you’re still human. It’s okay to take a couple weeks off to just sort your head out. You might lose a little ground, but you’re not going to gain any at this rate anyway lol

    You’ll be back to form sooner or later, no worries.



The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on November 4, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Original Link

Here are my thoughts on the ‘attitude.’ The ‘attitude’ serves two purposes IMHO — first, it allows you to keep going. Rejected once? Twice? Thrice? Frice? Who cares, keep plowing. Second, it’s what turns a spark into a flame.

Without a spark — and maybe this is sacrilegious — you aren’t going anywhere. But with AT LEAST a spark, you can create a fire. Or you can stomp out that little spark with gay anti-game.

I just think most guys only get with girls when there’s already a fire raging lol. They’re that clueless. And seriously, the ‘spark’ is this simple to me: does she react to your presence, or not. If no, then move on. If yes…you can fuck that girl.

You use direct opener on girl 1: hey what’s up, you look cool gonna talk to you guys for a sec.

Girl 1: [flat tone, but still polite] Oh, well sorry not interested.

Probably can’t fuck that girl

Girl 2: [emotionally regretful tone, looks at her friend, laughs a little] Oh………well sorry, not interested.

Maybe you can fuck that girl. Now maybe something is getting in the way — her friend’s judgment, her bf is there, the logistics are terrible, etc etc etc. But there is ONE path you could take (at least) that ends in you fucking her.

FR —

Convo on college campus where a girl is sitting studying. 6.5, 21y/o. Hella.

Me: Hey, sorry to interrupt you but you look pretty cool and I just wanted to come say hi. I’m Scray
Her: ….hey Scray, I’m 6.5, nice to meet you. Do you go here?
Me: Nah, but I live like right across the street.
Her: Oh, that’s cool
Me: Ya, so that’s a pretty thick book. I’m not gonna lie, I was planning on starting a grift with you where y’know….you’d do everyone’s homework for them and we’d make money off of it.
Her: …..what? Wait….what would you be doing?
Me: Making money. I just told you.
Her: (she laughs)

Get her number, we set up a day 2. Easy, right? WRONG. This was last week just before shit really hit the fan. Behold, the effect of heartbreak on ‘game’ The day before the day 2 I didn’t hear from her. So the day of the day 2

Me: hey did you want to take a rain check on meeting? Haven’t heard from you
Her: I’m sorry
Her: How often are we supposed to talk?
Her: So are we canceling?
Me: No I’m not canceling. Just wondering
Her: How often do you expect to talk
Me: I don’t expect anything. Just curious. Relax
Her: I’m curious too
Her: how often
Me: Idk, if we hit it off every day I guess (……….wut)
Her: ok
Her: Just so I have an understanding
Me: Is 9 a good meetup time? (…….wut)
Me: (3 hours later) Hello? (……wut)
Me: (2 hours later) K gonna assume you can’t make it tonight (….cringe)
Her: (30 mins later) ?
Her: Ok that’s fine I’ll just see you some other day
Her: You freak out immediately if I don’t have my phone every 5 seconds
Me: when I have plans I confirm a few hours before (ya that’s good…just try to slap the puppy in the face….)
Her: well we don’t have plans anymore so you’re fine
Me: Ya. Just my etiquette (AWESUUUUM)
Her: that’s fine
Her: Sorry to waste your time
Her: I don’t text you enough anyway, so sorry.
Me: You free any other days
Her: No
Her: I’m not going to do this to you again
Her: I don’t think I’m good for you
Me: Don’t see what the deal is but K ttyl.
Her: You’re the one who made a big deal. You want ppl to text you a lot and respond right away.
Me: later (fuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark)

So anyway, that slipped through my fingers. She was cute, too. lol.
On to the sarge —

First set, hb 7 sitting by herself on her phone

Me: You playing tetris on there or something?
Her: Hahahaha, noooo…..just….doing nothing really
Me: Did all your friends leave you here by yourself….
Her: No, my husband is at the bar getting us drinks.
Me: Oh wow, you bitch
Her: hahahahaha!
Me: Just shit on my heart. Ha. Later

Next set, walking by these two chicks at the bar — a SOFT 5 and a 6.
5: Hey, that shirt’s pretty cool
Me: ….thanks.

Long story short, the 6 was having some sort of lame-ass bachelorette party or whatever. My wing rolled into the venue at around this time and tried to come over to help with this set…and he was running classic happy-fun-go material, but honestly, I’m not giving much value to a set that doesn’t do it for me. So I actually bounced — and they were talking to me about whatever bullshit was going on with them lol. It’s mental masturbation but 40% fuck-probability on the 6 and 80% on the 5. Srs.

3 — 5,6,6.5 — chicks sitting down as I’m walking out the venue.

Me: Any of you guys interested
All three: Nah, not really.
Me: Have a nice night (give one a high 5)

Next set, a 7 and a 5 sitting down…

Me: Hey, you guys look cool, do you want to talk?
7: Wait, what?
Me: Do you guys want to talk?
7:……aren’t we talking?
Me: ……all right, come on, cut the shit, you know what I mean (lol)
7: (raises eyebrows)……well we’re actually waiting on people.
Me: Okay….have a good night.

Next set — a 7.5 and her 5 friend sitting at the bar.

Me: (I nailed this delivery at least, good body language, good tone, etc) Hey, I just thought you looked lovely and had to come meet you. I’m Scray
7.5: Ohhh….you’re cute, too. Hi Scray, I’m 7.5…nice to meet you….but my boyfriend is right over there. This is my friend, 5.
Me: Hi, 5. Well you guys have a good night.

By chance I run into some friends — classic social circle shit. Two 6’s are there that I realize I could fuck if I pulled the trigger, and a 6.5 that my gut says I could fuck if I pulled the trigger but I’m too chicken shit (she’s also been with two of my friends, so it’d be a little weird).

I think while I deal with this heartbreak I’m just gonna go light direct. I know what I want now….like a girl who looks as good as the 7 but who’s a demon in bed like she-who-will-not-be-named. So I’m just in the mood to screen hard.

There are other girls, too. Like I met this one girl at a halloween party who’s a 7 but she has a bf…so I’m keeping light contact with that one. I mean, compared to last year……at least there are way more prospects, lol. Cause the lineup I have now….I’m just gonna have to change up completely.


  • YaReally
    on November 5, 2013 at 5:24 pm
    Original Link

    I found a video of you txting that girl:

    Lol no comment on any of this cause you know it was a mess. This is part of why I recommend taking a little time off, your know the right actions to take but your headspace is just not going to be in the right place for a while…which is good, it means you’re still human. It’s okay to take a couple weeks off to just sort your head out. You might lose a little ground, but you’re not going to gain any at this rate anyway lol

    You’ll be back to form sooner or later, no worries.



Ellipsis Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on November 1, 2013 at 11:50 am
Original Link

So had a decent time Halloween at a party, met a few people, and I saw some possible opportunities that never materialized (still kind of bummed). Anyway, after I decide to txt miscarry divorced mom — ya whatever, had a few beers.

That girl….well….jesus….:

Me: hey how’s it going
Her: I’m fine. I asked you not to contact me anymore. Not interested in your selfish ways. I’m left with a big medical bill along with a heartbreak I don’t have room for your crazy behavior.
Me: Let me help with the bill at least
Her: I just want to forget about all this and move on
Me: We can’t be friends?
Her: No. I’m going to change my number
Me: (thinking…..wttttttttttfffffffff….) Well we had to break up but it seems cruel to just X me out of your life. If you must you must but I thought we could be on good terms
Her: Oh i’m cruel — when i had a miscarriage you were a fucking asshole and even worse just talking about yourself. go to hell you’re the asshole here not me. i’m blocking your number you have the capability of causing me unwanted stress
Me: (in my mind I’m like waaaaaaaaat………) All I can do is ask for some understanding
Her: You fucked up, you only think about yourself, now i’ll think about myself. I thank God I didn’t have a kid with you because you would have continued to treat me the way you do. Just don’t mess with women like this. I was fine before all this. I’m getting my tubes tied in two weeks
Me: (……..mind is getting. blown) That hurts
Her: Just leave me alone. Well you hurt me too. Guess we’re both hurt. I just want you to suffer like I did. You’re so fucking selfish
Me: Well I hoped you could be kind
Her: You didn’t think twice about being kind to me so fuck off. You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met and you want me to be kind, wtf is wrong with you. Go to hell my body suffered it. I’m still fucking bleeding from that shit. I’m not eating. You’ve done enough leave me alone. You have turned me off from ever wanting any more kids or a relationship. I’ve never encountered a person so selfish and needy. Leave me alone
Me: (….YIKES…)….ok. Hope to ttyl.

So that’s just done. Shit’s painful to leave someone so bad off. Guess it’s just a lesson learned.

But it gets worse unfortunately….

The 7 was distant last night. I was figuring, ‘man, that party was cool but I’m just not into it….boy that text conversation sucked….at least I can go over to 7′s house and smash’ Instead it’s like….

Her: I just don’t want to cuddle or anything tonight.
Me: Why
Her: Because I know what that leads to….and it’s starting to feel like you’re using me.
Me: What….
Her: You just come over here, I cook for you or we eat together, you watch my TV, and we have sex, and you leave, or you leave early in the morning.
Me: I fart sometimes.
Her: Ugh shutup, Scray. We don’t ever do anything else. I don’t know what you do when you’re not here.
Me: What do you want from me?
Her: Well……I care about you, and it just seems like it isn’t reciprocated….I give and give and give.

Annnnnnyways….I had to spend like an hour smoothing that shit over. Fuck, man. Winter is coming.


  • YaReally
    on November 1, 2013 at 12:07 pm
    Original Link

    1) delete the miscarriage girl, Jesus. Make it so you can’t contact her. You are doing serious damage to her because of your scarcity mindset. Your communicating with her at ALL is fucking her up more and more. If you ever gave a shit about her, let her go so that one day she might be able to have a normal life again.

    2) the super dark triad will point out that you actually could fuck her again. But I’m not going to tell you how to do it because it would get your dick wet but it would fuck her up BAD. Like you could end up with a suicide on your conscience.

    3) the 7 is calling you out because she’s right, you ARE just using her. This is why a lot of Naturals have a long list of girls who hate them and regret banging them and feel like they used them, because the Natural tends to focus only on his needs and doesn’t follow the “leave them better than you found them” rule.

    You’re basically a bull in a china shop. You learned a super-power and you’re running around shooting lasers at everything burning the world around you to the ground.

    Congrats, you’ve learned HOW to game. You’ve learned the tools and the skillset.

    But now you have to learn how to use that shit for good, to put good energy into the world and benevolently help the people around you to lead better lives as a result of being around you.

    Cause the path you’ll go down, if you don’t pull out of this nosedive, is a REALLY dark fucked up one that will cost you a lot. I know guys who’ve gone down it and it ain’t pretty.

    You need to start giving value instead of just taking it. Start by giving your miscarriage chick the peace of you never contacting her again.

    Don’t make me regret helping you learn game.


    • Scray
      on November 1, 2013 at 12:18 pm
      Original Link

      Ya but I didn’t even realize….it’s like now I feel so guilty. Like I figured it was something that’d blow over…’o ya we were only doing shit for a little while, I’m sure she’s over it because of how beta the drama was and she’s ready to be friends’

      Instead I get THAT

      Idk I guess I have inner issues I never knew about


      • Lara
        on November 1, 2013 at 12:34 pm
        Original Link

        Send her a card and tell her you’re thinking of her. Put a little cash in it. Other than that, I’d stop contacting her. She sounds unstable.


        • YaReally
          on November 1, 2013 at 12:40 pm
          Original Link

          Don’t even do this. Just vanish.


      • YaReally
        on November 1, 2013 at 12:34 pm
        Original Link

        She went thru some hard emotional shit and you tried to get your dick wet instead of helping her with it. These girls are still people, they’re still human beings. That chick will go on to live for another 20-40 years with whatever you brought to the table (good influences or bad baggage), she’s not just a blip that disappears when you’re done with her.

        Like I say, you COULD still fuck her. So the guys saying “well she says she hates you but then txts 50 txts” are right, it’s possible…but man, you would do some serious damage and be putting some pretty brutal karma out into the world and the fact that you’re feeling guilty means that you aren’t prepared or emotionally dead enough to handle the damage you would do by not letting this one go forever.

        There are PUAs with 10+ abortions on their conscience. There are PUAs with suicides on their conscience. There are PUAs who’ve destroyed homes and helped innocent children end up in broken homes strife with fighting or divorce. There are PUAs who’ve been so mindfucked when they realize the extent of the damage they’ve done that they’ve tried offing themselves.

        On the flip side, there are PUAs who’ve helped their girls become better overall people and weed out shitty behavior. There are PUAs who’ve helped complete strangers come off the ledge of suicide just by striking up a conversation with them and making them feel like someone cares. There are PUAs who’ve saved other guys from getting their head stomped in by using their psych understanding to talk down a chaotic situation. There are PUAs who’ve helped other men grow into better stronger men who are able to take control of their lives. There are PUAs who have a long string of women in their past who have nothing but good to say about them and chase them years later.

        You can make amends with the 7, but right now you should take a few days to just chill and think about what effect you want to have on the world around you. What do you want to do with your new super powers? What do you want people to remember about you and the impact you had on their lives, at your funeral?

        Download the movie Alfie this weekend (the Jude Law one) and give it a watch. It’s a good movie that looks at both the good and bad sides of this lifestyle. The scene when he realizes there are consequences for his actions should be pretty relevant to you right now.

        I’m only coming down on you hard cause I want you to take what I’m saying seriously. Don’t blow your current situation off without learning a lesson and growing from it.


        • Scray
          on November 1, 2013 at 12:59 pm
          Original Link

          Maybe I’m in denial that such a deep emotional hurt could be real. How can she not contact me if she’s so hurt? Idk I don’t understand. But maybe that’s just a way of easing my conscience. Never thought I’d have that effect on someone in a million years


          • YaReally
            on November 1, 2013 at 1:51 pm
            Original Link

            Ya you’re in shock right now, that’s why I say to take a few days and just chill.

            A year ago you were insignificant. You didn’t have any real influence on others or the world around you.

            Now you’ve learned a skillset that gives you a lot of power. But like they say in Spider-Man: with great power comes great responsibility.

            You’re going to get more powerful the longer you do this…this is a skillset that won’t leave your life even if it gets dusty and cobwebbed if you stop actively training it for a while…the rewiring you’re doing will stay with you.

            That means that you’ve got another 20-40 years ahead of two. That’s like your entire life so far, lived out two more times. You’re not going to forget about this girl, especially once the shock wears off and you realize what an impact you’ve had on her and her future.

            You can’t erase this, but you CAN 1) stop making it worse by deleting her contact info and staying away from her forever, and 2) try not to create more memories like this by thinking deep on giving value VS taking it and what balance to strike…

            Cause you can fuck up a LOT of lives in 40 years. Or you can help a LOT of people. Use this as the wake-up call.


          • YaReally
            on November 1, 2013 at 1:56 pm
            Original Link

            “But you have to realize that contacting her again would be for YOU (easing your guilt) vs. helping her.”

            This.


        • Tilikum
          on November 1, 2013 at 1:34 pm
          Original Link

          between him, greatest beta, and a few more…..you all wonder why i treat em like shit?

          i might be psycho but they are vicious little bitches with, as you said, super powers.


          • YaReally
            on November 1, 2013 at 1:42 pm
            Original Link

            So leave. No one will miss your useless posts.


        • the latent sadist
          on November 1, 2013 at 2:52 pm
          Original Link

          yareally i dig what youre saying. But i’ve read you talking about how a girl had to stifle her moans while you finger her while shes on the phone with her bf/husband. Cmon man. I dont really have a moral stance. Im getting to the point where ive pumped and dumped girls and its just a shitty feeling, and im just now starting to realize i dont want this on my conscious. So i dig it. and im not denying that scray should leave it alone. But i mean how do you rationalize banging married girls and taken girls with the leave em better than you found em?


          • YaReally
            on November 1, 2013 at 3:43 pm
            Original Link

            “But i mean how do you rationalize banging married girls and taken girls with the leave em better than you found em?”

            Cause I know what I’m doing and understand the psychology of how to keep them from falling in love with me, keep them from getting Buyer’s Remorse and regretting it or feeling slutty or guilty, keep their husbands/boyfriends from catching her, and I know how to cut them loose on a high note…hell I even give them advice on how to fix their relationships sometimes. Also I use a condom lol

            Right now Scray is just running around knocking fine China off half the shelves cause he doesn’t realize he’s a lot bigger than he used to be and hasn’t learned (or had an interest in learning) to control it yet, because he’s not used to being able to even CAUSE consequences by accident like this.

            So ya, I so some sketchy stuff, but I’m very strategic about it and do as little damage as possible, and even help sometimes (I know from keeping in touch that I’ve helped a few girls fix their relationships and are raising a family etc now).

            The girls I’ve been with, if asked about me, either would shrug and not care because we just had a little fling, or would say good things about me and the time we had together…but very few, if any, would have anything bad to say about me (and the ones that do would be from when I was starting out and fucking up like Scray), because I know what I’m doing.


          • YaReally
            on November 2, 2013 at 12:48 pm
            Original Link

            “But I’m -afraid- to because I’m in such a needy, gay-fag place.”

            This is the crux of it. This is what’s controlling your actions, and this is where you have to decide between being selfish or selfless. Between taking value or giving value. Between using others for your happiness or sacrificing yourself for THEIR happiness.

            It ain’t easy. This is why we have rules like don’t see them more than once every week or two…it’s not just so they don’t get too attached, it’s so we don’t get too attached and end up making decisions that hurt them because we let ourselves get too needy and selfish.

            That doesn’t mean you can’t ever settle down with a quality girl. But it means you have to screen them a lot harder for long-term potential before you jump in with both feet.

            You weren’t going to marry and start a family with the miscarriage girl. You knew that, but you got too invested in her despite that and then when you aren’t there for her in the way she needed, it crushed her. If you had kept things more casual with her since you knew you wouldn’t be long-term with her, and had used a condom like you should have, you could’ve avoided all of this.

            But you can’t go back and change the past and anything you do to try to help or stay in touch will just hurt her more and do more damage. She’s gone from your life. Remember this when you’re thinking “should I let this one go? Will being with her longer when I LIKE her but don’t see myself settling with her, start to do more damage than good? Am I keeping this going just because I’m afraid to be alone or try to find another girl?”

            You can go the sociopath route and just not give a fuck, which is what a lot of Naturals do, but that’s not a path that ends well and that’s clearly not a path you personally want to go down.

            This is where the tough decisions come in. You may have to actively choose to give up a girl you like to keep this kind of thing from happening, and willingly choose to let her go and suffer, for her sake. Because she won’t choose to go, you are the one with the skillset and the power and the knowledge of where leading her on can go so you have to be the one to make these difficult decisions and live with the outcomes.

            Life was a lot simpler a year ago when you didn’t know anything hey? No turning back tho, you can’t un-learn what you’ve learned. Gotta plow forward and make the tough choices.


  • Hugh G. Rection
    on November 1, 2013 at 12:53 pm
    Original Link

    Just by the way: Did you see the pregnancy test? I’ve heard about the fake pregnancy and fake miscarriage before…


    • RP
      on November 1, 2013 at 1:04 pm
      Original Link

      If she faked it, in any case he’d be stupid to spend another minute with her. Hence the advice to vanish from the scene is still valid here.


      • YaReally
        on November 1, 2013 at 1:16 pm
        Original Link

        Even of she faked it, this is a very real scenario that can happen and he should take some lessons from it.

        Game is awesome, and it can lead to some amazing rewarding experiences…but it can also hurt people and do damage. I always liken teaching game to teaching marial arts…the art itself is neither good nor evil, it can be used to protect loved ones or to bully people around. A teacher simply tries his best to help his student develop a solid moral structure that encourages using it for good but at the end of the day every man has to make his own decisions about what he wants to use it for and what actions he can sleep with at night.


        • Patrice
          on November 3, 2013 at 12:18 pm
          Original Link

          A teacher simply tries his best to help his student develop a solid moral structure

          Since when are women moral? Is female hypergamy moral? Is cuckoldry moral? Is there anything even remotely moral about women’s sexuality????

          Why should I give a fuck?


          • YaReally
            on November 3, 2013 at 10:23 pm
            Original Link

            “Since when are women moral? Is female hypergamy moral? Is cuckoldry moral? Is there anything even remotely moral about women’s sexuality????

            Why should I give a fuck?”

            You are free to do whatever you like. When a dog poops on your couch you can go poop in his dog-house. That’ll show him! Lets get revenge!!!!


  • Anonymous
    on November 1, 2013 at 2:50 pm
    Original Link

    What the fuck, man. I’ve read your field reports on Yareally’s archive and you used to be an unconfident newbie who didn’t have a fucking clue.
    The reason you get girls now is that you were supported and guided by others and I think they expect a hell of a lot more from you.
    Spread happiness and good vibes, don’t use girls like that. There are plenty girls out there who would LOVE to get fucked by you, go and get with them.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 3:52 pm
      Original Link

      I do want to say, that even tho I’m being hard on Scray and we’re all giving him shit right now, it’s because we’re all rooting for him after watching him develop in front of us.

      Also props to you Scray for sharing this with everyone. You didn’t have to and we’d never have had a clue this happened and no one would be giving you shit, so it was ballsy to write it out honestly and risk judgement.

      By writing your story out, and us all being able to discuss some of the darker sides of this lifestyle and game, you may end up keeping a few other guys from making similar mistakes or correcting some of their bad habits and begin offering more value and spreading good vibes around them.

      This’ll end up being the example we link to in discussions about the pitfalls of game and the importance of trying to leave people better than you found them.

      Just a little kudos cause this has probably been a pretty rough day. You’ll get thru this fine in the end, and be wiser and better for it, and you’ll make up for this down the road as you grow into a man who gives value.


      • Subarctic Hillbilly
        on November 1, 2013 at 4:25 pm
        Original Link

        Love you, man, and mad props for what you do for Scray and all of us. (No homo … wait a sec … damn, I’m getting a broner!)


        • YaReally
          on November 1, 2013 at 5:19 pm
          Original Link

          Just payin it forward. ;)


    • Scray
      on November 1, 2013 at 4:47 pm
      Original Link

      Yeah, and I’m not totally tipping my hand here, either. Like….I kind of egged her on and abused the power I had — replaying the last month or two in my mind with her kinda depresses me because of how shitty of a person I found out I could be. Can’t actually repeat the whole, unedited version — too shameful.

      Tomorrow I’m gonna sarge, confirmed. So…..we’ll see how that goes. I mean, I’m starting to pick up a lot of interest in my social circle. Granted, the chicks are like 5-6 range (I mean, last year it was like…0….like maybe a 3-4, ycccccck), so…less hot than I can pull cold approach, which I’d say at this point is about 6-7.

      Question about social circle — is it better to bang 3 5′s, or is it better to wait and ‘break in’ to the social circle by tagging a 6+? Can you only fuck ‘down’ in a social circle….? This dynamic is emergent and new.


      • YaReally
        on November 1, 2013 at 5:42 pm
        Original Link

        Keep the rest of the details for yourself, you’ve laid enough out there already.

        This is the pendulum swing of learning…first you’re too Nice Guy, then you swing into full Asshole, then you come back and settle somewhere in-between the two. Most guys learning game go through it.

        Getting a glimpse at how shitty you can be is pretty scary. A big part of why I’m such an advocate of using game for good and leaving girls (and guys) better than I found them etc is that I KNOW I could be an absolute nightmare if I decided to be selfish and just use everyone around me to get what I want. With the skillset and knowledge I have, I would be just unstoppable destruction.

        And that’s fucking scary to know, because like the Joker says, we’re all just one bad day away from crazy. So I actively try to stay positive and not let life get me down. A lot of people think I have no problems because I’m always in a good mood and brush setbacks off, but the reality is that I actively pursue that state because I don’t want to risk hitting a tipping point where I decide “fuck everyone!” and throw all my morals out the window. I already skirt that line in some areas, like banging taken chicks. The consequences if I stopped giving a shit about leaving them better than I found them would end up haunting me down the road.

        Look at this experience this way: you now know yourself better than most people will ever know themselves. You’ve seen yourself at your worst as well as your best (and you’ll be even better as you grow).

        Like a lot of why feminists and anti-gamers reject the red pill and game is that they don’t want to look at anything that makes them feel bad or is uncomfortable. They only want good feelings. So they won’t listen when we talk about Hypergamy because that would require admitting that women sometimes do bad things. So they will remain ignorant about reality because they refuse to look at the good AND bad.

        That’s why I say you could bang that miscarriage girl. I’m not on some ethical high horse moralizing here. I fully acknowledge the good and bad realities of the situation. But at the same time I can also say that it would have consequences that would haunt you cause overall you’re a good guy who just went a little power-mad.

        Down the road this will have been a good thing for you, in helping you focus yourself toward doing good…so don’t waste it!

        “is it better to bang 3 5′s, or is it better to wait and ‘break in’ to the social circle by tagging a 6+?”

        Go for the top shelf. No one respects the guy who bangs the bottom of the social circle. You bang a bunch of 5s and the 6+’s will think “this guy doesn’t deserve me. The kind of guy I want to bang is high-value enough to be banging the 9s in this circle”. Hypergamy in action, basically.

        If you’re already banging the 6+’s, you can dabble in a 5 and blame “we were drunk lol” because you’ve already established value cred with the group, but if you bang a few more of the 5s after that, your value goes down.

        Think of it like business. If you ran an entrepreneur group and one guy opted to never expand his business or make it efficient or make much money, you’d start thinking “man, this guy doesn’t expect much from himself and doesn’t respect himself” and you would have a hard time seeing him as high value.

        You can bang random 5s, esp without the social circle knowing, like just to get your rocks off, but once you introduce group dynamics and reputation etc shit changes a bit.

        The other prob with banging 5s in general is just devaluing yourself and ending up stuck banging 5-7s because you don’t have any reference experiences of deserving the 8+ girls. I believe we call this “intermediate purgatory” lol most guys get stuck on it cause they start banging from the bottom up.



Ellipsis Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on November 1, 2013 at 11:50 am
Original Link

So had a decent time Halloween at a party, met a few people, and I saw some possible opportunities that never materialized (still kind of bummed). Anyway, after I decide to txt miscarry divorced mom — ya whatever, had a few beers.

That girl….well….jesus….:

Me: hey how’s it going
Her: I’m fine. I asked you not to contact me anymore. Not interested in your selfish ways. I’m left with a big medical bill along with a heartbreak I don’t have room for your crazy behavior.
Me: Let me help with the bill at least
Her: I just want to forget about all this and move on
Me: We can’t be friends?
Her: No. I’m going to change my number
Me: (thinking…..wttttttttttfffffffff….) Well we had to break up but it seems cruel to just X me out of your life. If you must you must but I thought we could be on good terms
Her: Oh i’m cruel — when i had a miscarriage you were a fucking asshole and even worse just talking about yourself. go to hell you’re the asshole here not me. i’m blocking your number you have the capability of causing me unwanted stress
Me: (in my mind I’m like waaaaaaaaat………) All I can do is ask for some understanding
Her: You fucked up, you only think about yourself, now i’ll think about myself. I thank God I didn’t have a kid with you because you would have continued to treat me the way you do. Just don’t mess with women like this. I was fine before all this. I’m getting my tubes tied in two weeks
Me: (……..mind is getting. blown) That hurts
Her: Just leave me alone. Well you hurt me too. Guess we’re both hurt. I just want you to suffer like I did. You’re so fucking selfish
Me: Well I hoped you could be kind
Her: You didn’t think twice about being kind to me so fuck off. You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met and you want me to be kind, wtf is wrong with you. Go to hell my body suffered it. I’m still fucking bleeding from that shit. I’m not eating. You’ve done enough leave me alone. You have turned me off from ever wanting any more kids or a relationship. I’ve never encountered a person so selfish and needy. Leave me alone
Me: (….YIKES…)….ok. Hope to ttyl.

So that’s just done. Shit’s painful to leave someone so bad off. Guess it’s just a lesson learned.

But it gets worse unfortunately….

The 7 was distant last night. I was figuring, ‘man, that party was cool but I’m just not into it….boy that text conversation sucked….at least I can go over to 7’s house and smash’ Instead it’s like….

Her: I just don’t want to cuddle or anything tonight.
Me: Why
Her: Because I know what that leads to….and it’s starting to feel like you’re using me.
Me: What….
Her: You just come over here, I cook for you or we eat together, you watch my TV, and we have sex, and you leave, or you leave early in the morning.
Me: I fart sometimes.
Her: Ugh shutup, Scray. We don’t ever do anything else. I don’t know what you do when you’re not here.
Me: What do you want from me?
Her: Well……I care about you, and it just seems like it isn’t reciprocated….I give and give and give.

Annnnnnyways….I had to spend like an hour smoothing that shit over. Fuck, man. Winter is coming.


  • YaReally
    on November 1, 2013 at 12:07 pm
    Original Link

    1) delete the miscarriage girl, Jesus. Make it so you can’t contact her. You are doing serious damage to her because of your scarcity mindset. Your communicating with her at ALL is fucking her up more and more. If you ever gave a shit about her, let her go so that one day she might be able to have a normal life again.

    2) the super dark triad will point out that you actually could fuck her again. But I’m not going to tell you how to do it because it would get your dick wet but it would fuck her up BAD. Like you could end up with a suicide on your conscience.

    3) the 7 is calling you out because she’s right, you ARE just using her. This is why a lot of Naturals have a long list of girls who hate them and regret banging them and feel like they used them, because the Natural tends to focus only on his needs and doesn’t follow the “leave them better than you found them” rule.

    You’re basically a bull in a china shop. You learned a super-power and you’re running around shooting lasers at everything burning the world around you to the ground.

    Congrats, you’ve learned HOW to game. You’ve learned the tools and the skillset.

    But now you have to learn how to use that shit for good, to put good energy into the world and benevolently help the people around you to lead better lives as a result of being around you.

    Cause the path you’ll go down, if you don’t pull out of this nosedive, is a REALLY dark fucked up one that will cost you a lot. I know guys who’ve gone down it and it ain’t pretty.

    You need to start giving value instead of just taking it. Start by giving your miscarriage chick the peace of you never contacting her again.

    Don’t make me regret helping you learn game.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 12:34 pm
      Original Link

      She went thru some hard emotional shit and you tried to get your dick wet instead of helping her with it. These girls are still people, they’re still human beings. That chick will go on to live for another 20-40 years with whatever you brought to the table (good influences or bad baggage), she’s not just a blip that disappears when you’re done with her.

      Like I say, you COULD still fuck her. So the guys saying “well she says she hates you but then txts 50 txts” are right, it’s possible…but man, you would do some serious damage and be putting some pretty brutal karma out into the world and the fact that you’re feeling guilty means that you aren’t prepared or emotionally dead enough to handle the damage you would do by not letting this one go forever.

      There are PUAs with 10+ abortions on their conscience. There are PUAs with suicides on their conscience. There are PUAs who’ve destroyed homes and helped innocent children end up in broken homes strife with fighting or divorce. There are PUAs who’ve been so mindfucked when they realize the extent of the damage they’ve done that they’ve tried offing themselves.

      On the flip side, there are PUAs who’ve helped their girls become better overall people and weed out shitty behavior. There are PUAs who’ve helped complete strangers come off the ledge of suicide just by striking up a conversation with them and making them feel like someone cares. There are PUAs who’ve saved other guys from getting their head stomped in by using their psych understanding to talk down a chaotic situation. There are PUAs who’ve helped other men grow into better stronger men who are able to take control of their lives. There are PUAs who have a long string of women in their past who have nothing but good to say about them and chase them years later.

      You can make amends with the 7, but right now you should take a few days to just chill and think about what effect you want to have on the world around you. What do you want to do with your new super powers? What do you want people to remember about you and the impact you had on their lives, at your funeral?

      Download the movie Alfie this weekend (the Jude Law one) and give it a watch. It’s a good movie that looks at both the good and bad sides of this lifestyle. The scene when he realizes there are consequences for his actions should be pretty relevant to you right now.

      I’m only coming down on you hard cause I want you to take what I’m saying seriously. Don’t blow your current situation off without learning a lesson and growing from it.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 12:40 pm
      Original Link

      Don’t even do this. Just vanish.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 1:42 pm
      Original Link

      So leave. No one will miss your useless posts.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 1:51 pm
      Original Link

      Ya you’re in shock right now, that’s why I say to take a few days and just chill.

      A year ago you were insignificant. You didn’t have any real influence on others or the world around you.

      Now you’ve learned a skillset that gives you a lot of power. But like they say in Spider-Man: with great power comes great responsibility.

      You’re going to get more powerful the longer you do this…this is a skillset that won’t leave your life even if it gets dusty and cobwebbed if you stop actively training it for a while…the rewiring you’re doing will stay with you.

      That means that you’ve got another 20-40 years ahead of two. That’s like your entire life so far, lived out two more times. You’re not going to forget about this girl, especially once the shock wears off and you realize what an impact you’ve had on her and her future.

      You can’t erase this, but you CAN 1) stop making it worse by deleting her contact info and staying away from her forever, and 2) try not to create more memories like this by thinking deep on giving value VS taking it and what balance to strike…

      Cause you can fuck up a LOT of lives in 40 years. Or you can help a LOT of people. Use this as the wake-up call.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 1:56 pm
      Original Link

      “But you have to realize that contacting her again would be for YOU (easing your guilt) vs. helping her.”

      This.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 3:43 pm
      Original Link

      “But i mean how do you rationalize banging married girls and taken girls with the leave em better than you found em?”

      Cause I know what I’m doing and understand the psychology of how to keep them from falling in love with me, keep them from getting Buyer’s Remorse and regretting it or feeling slutty or guilty, keep their husbands/boyfriends from catching her, and I know how to cut them loose on a high note…hell I even give them advice on how to fix their relationships sometimes. Also I use a condom lol

      Right now Scray is just running around knocking fine China off half the shelves cause he doesn’t realize he’s a lot bigger than he used to be and hasn’t learned (or had an interest in learning) to control it yet, because he’s not used to being able to even CAUSE consequences by accident like this.

      So ya, I so some sketchy stuff, but I’m very strategic about it and do as little damage as possible, and even help sometimes (I know from keeping in touch that I’ve helped a few girls fix their relationships and are raising a family etc now).

      The girls I’ve been with, if asked about me, either would shrug and not care because we just had a little fling, or would say good things about me and the time we had together…but very few, if any, would have anything bad to say about me (and the ones that do would be from when I was starting out and fucking up like Scray), because I know what I’m doing.


    • YaReally
      on November 2, 2013 at 12:48 pm
      Original Link

      “But I’m -afraid- to because I’m in such a needy, gay-fag place.”

      This is the crux of it. This is what’s controlling your actions, and this is where you have to decide between being selfish or selfless. Between taking value or giving value. Between using others for your happiness or sacrificing yourself for THEIR happiness.

      It ain’t easy. This is why we have rules like don’t see them more than once every week or two…it’s not just so they don’t get too attached, it’s so we don’t get too attached and end up making decisions that hurt them because we let ourselves get too needy and selfish.

      That doesn’t mean you can’t ever settle down with a quality girl. But it means you have to screen them a lot harder for long-term potential before you jump in with both feet.

      You weren’t going to marry and start a family with the miscarriage girl. You knew that, but you got too invested in her despite that and then when you aren’t there for her in the way she needed, it crushed her. If you had kept things more casual with her since you knew you wouldn’t be long-term with her, and had used a condom like you should have, you could’ve avoided all of this.

      But you can’t go back and change the past and anything you do to try to help or stay in touch will just hurt her more and do more damage. She’s gone from your life. Remember this when you’re thinking “should I let this one go? Will being with her longer when I LIKE her but don’t see myself settling with her, start to do more damage than good? Am I keeping this going just because I’m afraid to be alone or try to find another girl?”

      You can go the sociopath route and just not give a fuck, which is what a lot of Naturals do, but that’s not a path that ends well and that’s clearly not a path you personally want to go down.

      This is where the tough decisions come in. You may have to actively choose to give up a girl you like to keep this kind of thing from happening, and willingly choose to let her go and suffer, for her sake. Because she won’t choose to go, you are the one with the skillset and the power and the knowledge of where leading her on can go so you have to be the one to make these difficult decisions and live with the outcomes.

      Life was a lot simpler a year ago when you didn’t know anything hey? No turning back tho, you can’t un-learn what you’ve learned. Gotta plow forward and make the tough choices.


  • Hugh G. Rection
    on November 1, 2013 at 12:53 pm
    Original Link

    Just by the way: Did you see the pregnancy test? I’ve heard about the fake pregnancy and fake miscarriage before…


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 1:16 pm
      Original Link

      Even of she faked it, this is a very real scenario that can happen and he should take some lessons from it.

      Game is awesome, and it can lead to some amazing rewarding experiences…but it can also hurt people and do damage. I always liken teaching game to teaching marial arts…the art itself is neither good nor evil, it can be used to protect loved ones or to bully people around. A teacher simply tries his best to help his student develop a solid moral structure that encourages using it for good but at the end of the day every man has to make his own decisions about what he wants to use it for and what actions he can sleep with at night.


    • YaReally
      on November 3, 2013 at 10:23 pm
      Original Link

      “Since when are women moral? Is female hypergamy moral? Is cuckoldry moral? Is there anything even remotely moral about women’s sexuality????

      Why should I give a fuck?”

      You are free to do whatever you like. When a dog poops on your couch you can go poop in his dog-house. That’ll show him! Lets get revenge!!!!


  • Anonymous
    on November 1, 2013 at 2:50 pm
    Original Link

    What the fuck, man. I’ve read your field reports on Yareally’s archive and you used to be an unconfident newbie who didn’t have a fucking clue.
    The reason you get girls now is that you were supported and guided by others and I think they expect a hell of a lot more from you.
    Spread happiness and good vibes, don’t use girls like that. There are plenty girls out there who would LOVE to get fucked by you, go and get with them.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 3:52 pm
      Original Link

      I do want to say, that even tho I’m being hard on Scray and we’re all giving him shit right now, it’s because we’re all rooting for him after watching him develop in front of us.

      Also props to you Scray for sharing this with everyone. You didn’t have to and we’d never have had a clue this happened and no one would be giving you shit, so it was ballsy to write it out honestly and risk judgement.

      By writing your story out, and us all being able to discuss some of the darker sides of this lifestyle and game, you may end up keeping a few other guys from making similar mistakes or correcting some of their bad habits and begin offering more value and spreading good vibes around them.

      This’ll end up being the example we link to in discussions about the pitfalls of game and the importance of trying to leave people better than you found them.

      Just a little kudos cause this has probably been a pretty rough day. You’ll get thru this fine in the end, and be wiser and better for it, and you’ll make up for this down the road as you grow into a man who gives value.


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 5:19 pm
      Original Link

      Just payin it forward. ;)


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 5:42 pm
      Original Link

      Keep the rest of the details for yourself, you’ve laid enough out there already.

      This is the pendulum swing of learning…first you’re too Nice Guy, then you swing into full Asshole, then you come back and settle somewhere in-between the two. Most guys learning game go through it.

      Getting a glimpse at how shitty you can be is pretty scary. A big part of why I’m such an advocate of using game for good and leaving girls (and guys) better than I found them etc is that I KNOW I could be an absolute nightmare if I decided to be selfish and just use everyone around me to get what I want. With the skillset and knowledge I have, I would be just unstoppable destruction.

      And that’s fucking scary to know, because like the Joker says, we’re all just one bad day away from crazy. So I actively try to stay positive and not let life get me down. A lot of people think I have no problems because I’m always in a good mood and brush setbacks off, but the reality is that I actively pursue that state because I don’t want to risk hitting a tipping point where I decide “fuck everyone!” and throw all my morals out the window. I already skirt that line in some areas, like banging taken chicks. The consequences if I stopped giving a shit about leaving them better than I found them would end up haunting me down the road.

      Look at this experience this way: you now know yourself better than most people will ever know themselves. You’ve seen yourself at your worst as well as your best (and you’ll be even better as you grow).

      Like a lot of why feminists and anti-gamers reject the red pill and game is that they don’t want to look at anything that makes them feel bad or is uncomfortable. They only want good feelings. So they won’t listen when we talk about Hypergamy because that would require admitting that women sometimes do bad things. So they will remain ignorant about reality because they refuse to look at the good AND bad.

      That’s why I say you could bang that miscarriage girl. I’m not on some ethical high horse moralizing here. I fully acknowledge the good and bad realities of the situation. But at the same time I can also say that it would have consequences that would haunt you cause overall you’re a good guy who just went a little power-mad.

      Down the road this will have been a good thing for you, in helping you focus yourself toward doing good…so don’t waste it!

      “is it better to bang 3 5′s, or is it better to wait and ‘break in’ to the social circle by tagging a 6+?”

      Go for the top shelf. No one respects the guy who bangs the bottom of the social circle. You bang a bunch of 5s and the 6+’s will think “this guy doesn’t deserve me. The kind of guy I want to bang is high-value enough to be banging the 9s in this circle”. Hypergamy in action, basically.

      If you’re already banging the 6+’s, you can dabble in a 5 and blame “we were drunk lol” because you’ve already established value cred with the group, but if you bang a few more of the 5s after that, your value goes down.

      Think of it like business. If you ran an entrepreneur group and one guy opted to never expand his business or make it efficient or make much money, you’d start thinking “man, this guy doesn’t expect much from himself and doesn’t respect himself” and you would have a hard time seeing him as high value.

      You can bang random 5s, esp without the social circle knowing, like just to get your rocks off, but once you introduce group dynamics and reputation etc shit changes a bit.

      The other prob with banging 5s in general is just devaluing yourself and ending up stuck banging 5-7s because you don’t have any reference experiences of deserving the 8+ girls. I believe we call this “intermediate purgatory” lol most guys get stuck on it cause they start banging from the bottom up.



Ellipsis Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Anonymous
on November 1, 2013 at 2:08 pm
Original Link

Hey, CH and Yareally, I just want to suck your dicks and thank you guys for changing my life. You’re both doing much good in this world.


  • YaReally
    on November 3, 2013 at 10:29 pm
    Original Link

    Happy to help! Thanks for the BJ: 8====D



Ellipsis Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Anonymous
on November 1, 2013 at 2:08 pm
Original Link

Hey, CH and Yareally, I just want to suck your dicks and thank you guys for changing my life. You’re both doing much good in this world.


  • YaReally
    on November 3, 2013 at 10:29 pm
    Original Link

    Happy to help! Thanks for the BJ: 8====D



Ellipsis Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mission Man
on November 2, 2013 at 2:52 am
Original Link

Good lord Jesus

Went to this place in Hollywood…literally fucking 9s and 10s EVERYWHERE!!!
Started the night out good, got tired around 11 (went out several times this week) and hit the wall thereafter.
So many primers running around…bitch shields on nuclear level. Was thinking of a lot of you guys while in there. HYPERGAMY HYPERGAMY running through my mind.

Whats a regular guy to do when practically all the girls in there 22-25 in the acting/modeling scene when you have no contacts in their world?

Jokes, sexual vibe can only go so far. Did about 6 approaches…couldn’t get past the 5 minute mark due to the impenetrable shields.

Definitely a night to think about.


  • Patriarch
    on November 2, 2013 at 8:23 am
    Original Link

    The hotter they are the dirtier you’re going to have to play.


    • Mission man
      on November 2, 2013 at 9:07 am
      Original Link

      Yea…definitely a shock to the system. I’m out quite a bit but go to above average bars (in terms of class and style) haven’t been to a place like this quite some time. For those in LA that want more info email me at darkktrader@gmail.com


      • Patriarch
        on November 2, 2013 at 9:09 am
        Original Link

        I’ve been watching your progress. I believe in your ability. Every hot girl that rejects you just brings you that much closer.


        • Mission man
          on November 2, 2013 at 10:07 am
          Original Link

          Thanks for that.

          Right now I’m in the testing phase, seeing what I can get away with. Calibration is the most difficult issue.

          Last night i open these two girls with “about time you girls showed up” with this snarky attitude. Girl says “where you waiting for us” I say “doesn’t every man like it when cute girls come in”

          This gets the chatting open, we move to the bar all is going well until this which is funny.
          I ask her “what do you do for fun” she says “I work too much to have fun”
          Me: that’s no fun. You have to have some fun in life.
          Her: there’s things I want to do
          Me: like what
          Her: I’d love to travel more
          Me: then go travel what are you waiting for (total rat race mentality)
          Her: I have responsibilities I can’t just leave
          Me: like what? Do you have a mortgage or a kid
          Her: no
          Me: then stop wasting your life and live it.
          Her: ice cold

          I was so condescending to her rate race mentality staring at her with “you are so boring” basically went nuclear on her hamster. But I didn’t give a flying fuck whether it blew out the set or not. I was having too much fun telling her how shitty her life was and how limited her thinking was. I’m sure she was expecting me to get into the rat race mentality about balling and all that. In her defense she was 29 and probably the last thing she wanted to hear from any guy was the shit I was telling her.

          This is what I love about learning game proper. Telling women what you want and setting the frame on your terms. If they like it then they are cool if not bleh


          • YaReally
            on November 2, 2013 at 11:03 am
            Original Link

            “I was having too much fun telling her how shitty her life was and how limited her thinking was.”

            Way to spread that value and good vibe around.

            You could’ve described to her how exciting escaping the rat race is and what amazing experiences she could have and relate a story about how you’ve escaped the rat race and taken her on a fun emotional journey that made her think “wow! The race race IS lame! That sounds amazing I want to do that!! With THIS guy!!”

            Instead you went in looking to pick a fight because your ego knows it would get shot down by these girls so you overcompensated by trying to purposely piss them off so you wouldn’t have to risk a legit rejection. You shit all over her life and her night instead of opening her mind up to new possibilities and experiences.

            Way to go, you ruined some chick’s night who did nothing wrong except be hot and not be aware of other experiences in life past the rat race.

            And you did it because you are insecure about being lower value than her and decided to take out your personal insecurities on her. Way to teach that bitch a lesson.

            You’re too concerned with people thinking you’re cool. That’s gonna hold you back down the road.

            “Whats a regular guy to do when practically all the girls in there 22-25 in the acting/modeling scene when you have no contacts in their world?”

            The things they value only have value because you value them too. If you stop putting value in what they value, it no longer has value. Strongest frame always wins.

            Think of it this way: if I told you I was the greatest Pokemon player in the world, you would laugh at me. I would have no extra value to you and you wouldn’t feel at all like you were low value compared to me. But at a Pokemon convention I would be a god because they put value on my achievent. Those people would feel insecure around me and elevate my status and I would embrace that god status.

            But I would only HAVE the god status because THEY put value in the thing I put value in.

            Think on how this applies to your situ/question, cause its related to the first part of this comment about your insecurities. Solve this and you’ll solve that and start offering value.


          • YaReally
            on November 2, 2013 at 11:11 am
            Original Link

            Bringing the Pokemon example full circle, if you saw no value in Pokemon and thus no value in my achievement…if I then opened your mind and taught you about Pokemon and showed you my world and how amazing and deep it is and showed you the beauty of this new experience you were missing out on, and you went “wow that DOES sound amazing! I now see the value in this thing I once thought had no value!”, then you would view me as high-value because I’ve opened your mind and you now put value in the thing I put value in.

            Understand? You are approaching this from the wrong mentality right now.


          • YaReally
            on November 3, 2013 at 10:19 pm
            Original Link

            @Mission

            “She got bitchy first when I told her “why don’t you travel more and have fun” so it was a reaction to her hostile reaction.”

            So you attacked her and then wonder why she reacted hostile. When you want a kid to share a toy with another kid do you say “don’t be stupid, quit hogging the toy you fuck-head.”? Or do you calibrate a little better and actually pace their reality and understand their headspace and lead them into your way of thinking like “i know you’re having fun, but wouldn’t you like to share so Jimmy can have fun too?”

            You were uncalibrated and she reacted to your hostile approach. At no point in that field report did you demonstrate any kind of understanding of her world/reality or attempt to lead her into yours. All you did was the equivalent of shouting “that’s stooopid just do it your life is gay”

            “My post stated that she was 29 years old…and she wasn’t hot. I was being more friendly to her than hitting on as she wasn’t that cute.”

            Oh, okay. Then the reason you were hostile was because an ugly chick wasn’t responding well to your bad calibration and that hurt your ego because that ugly chick should’ve been grateful you’d say anything to her, not react badly when you approach badly. So then you took your ego butthurt out on her.

            “It was probably her ego defending herself as she probably noticed that I wasn’t interested in a sexual manner…simply making conversation.”

            No. It was your ego defending yourself because you were surprised that an ugly chick didn’t let you get away with bad calibration and a hostile approach. All she did was react to what you put out there.

            That’s why I say show her the beauty of escaping the rat race. That means that even if she’s ugly, you have to relate to her and pace and lead. You don’t get to just say uncalibrated shit and she’s supposed to accept it because she’s ugly lol it doesn’t work that way

            This set/reaction was your failing, not hers. I’m being a dick about it because I don’t really think you’ll listen or work on this because you don’t believe you were in the wrong, so this breakdown is more for other guys reading this who are learning to build comfort/rapport. This was straight-up a lack of calibration.

            “SHE judged me FIRST when I showed little care for what she valued in life.”

            What I’m saying is that you showed little care for what she valued in life in an uncalibrated wrong way. You thought because she’s ugly she should just accept it but she defended herself against your hostile attacking.

            That means you either didn’t know that you should pace and lead, which is what my Pokemon shit you ignored was about, or you didn’t think she was worth gaming solid because she wasn’t hot so she was beneath you…the end result is ruining her night when she did nothing wrong except not let you get away with insulting her.

            And then you REVEL in being an asshole to her and telling her how shitty her life is. If you aren’t going to use game to try to spread good vibes instead of bad then I’m not going to put on kiddy gloves and explain your mistakes in a friendly way, cause your chip on your shoulder ego causes you to enjoy fighting and you don’t seem to care about working on fixing that so you can provide value, even to ugly girls…instead you embrace it.

            I honestly don’t think you have much interest in making other people feel good, I think you’re more interested in bragging rights and props. Maybe you’ll work on that down the road but so far you’ve been a pretty good example of the kind of guy who gets into game to “get revenge on bitches” and I don’t like that which is why my responses to you are generally blunt and dickish.

            “I do have an ego and will throw out attitude when its dished out to me.”

            This will hold you back. Quit embracing it and instead work on fixing it.



Ellipsis Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Mission Man
on November 2, 2013 at 2:52 am
Original Link

Good lord Jesus

Went to this place in Hollywood…literally fucking 9s and 10s EVERYWHERE!!!
Started the night out good, got tired around 11 (went out several times this week) and hit the wall thereafter.
So many primers running around…bitch shields on nuclear level. Was thinking of a lot of you guys while in there. HYPERGAMY HYPERGAMY running through my mind.

Whats a regular guy to do when practically all the girls in there 22-25 in the acting/modeling scene when you have no contacts in their world?

Jokes, sexual vibe can only go so far. Did about 6 approaches…couldn’t get past the 5 minute mark due to the impenetrable shields.

Definitely a night to think about.


  • Patriarch
    on November 2, 2013 at 8:23 am
    Original Link

    The hotter they are the dirtier you’re going to have to play.


    • YaReally
      on November 2, 2013 at 11:03 am
      Original Link

      “I was having too much fun telling her how shitty her life was and how limited her thinking was.”

      Way to spread that value and good vibe around.

      You could’ve described to her how exciting escaping the rat race is and what amazing experiences she could have and relate a story about how you’ve escaped the rat race and taken her on a fun emotional journey that made her think “wow! The race race IS lame! That sounds amazing I want to do that!! With THIS guy!!”

      Instead you went in looking to pick a fight because your ego knows it would get shot down by these girls so you overcompensated by trying to purposely piss them off so you wouldn’t have to risk a legit rejection. You shit all over her life and her night instead of opening her mind up to new possibilities and experiences.

      Way to go, you ruined some chick’s night who did nothing wrong except be hot and not be aware of other experiences in life past the rat race.

      And you did it because you are insecure about being lower value than her and decided to take out your personal insecurities on her. Way to teach that bitch a lesson.

      You’re too concerned with people thinking you’re cool. That’s gonna hold you back down the road.

      “Whats a regular guy to do when practically all the girls in there 22-25 in the acting/modeling scene when you have no contacts in their world?”

      The things they value only have value because you value them too. If you stop putting value in what they value, it no longer has value. Strongest frame always wins.

      Think of it this way: if I told you I was the greatest Pokemon player in the world, you would laugh at me. I would have no extra value to you and you wouldn’t feel at all like you were low value compared to me. But at a Pokemon convention I would be a god because they put value on my achievent. Those people would feel insecure around me and elevate my status and I would embrace that god status.

      But I would only HAVE the god status because THEY put value in the thing I put value in.

      Think on how this applies to your situ/question, cause its related to the first part of this comment about your insecurities. Solve this and you’ll solve that and start offering value.


    • YaReally
      on November 2, 2013 at 11:11 am
      Original Link

      Bringing the Pokemon example full circle, if you saw no value in Pokemon and thus no value in my achievement…if I then opened your mind and taught you about Pokemon and showed you my world and how amazing and deep it is and showed you the beauty of this new experience you were missing out on, and you went “wow that DOES sound amazing! I now see the value in this thing I once thought had no value!”, then you would view me as high-value because I’ve opened your mind and you now put value in the thing I put value in.

      Understand? You are approaching this from the wrong mentality right now.


    • YaReally
      on November 3, 2013 at 10:19 pm
      Original Link

      @Mission

      “She got bitchy first when I told her “why don’t you travel more and have fun” so it was a reaction to her hostile reaction.”

      So you attacked her and then wonder why she reacted hostile. When you want a kid to share a toy with another kid do you say “don’t be stupid, quit hogging the toy you fuck-head.”? Or do you calibrate a little better and actually pace their reality and understand their headspace and lead them into your way of thinking like “i know you’re having fun, but wouldn’t you like to share so Jimmy can have fun too?”

      You were uncalibrated and she reacted to your hostile approach. At no point in that field report did you demonstrate any kind of understanding of her world/reality or attempt to lead her into yours. All you did was the equivalent of shouting “that’s stooopid just do it your life is gay”

      “My post stated that she was 29 years old…and she wasn’t hot. I was being more friendly to her than hitting on as she wasn’t that cute.”

      Oh, okay. Then the reason you were hostile was because an ugly chick wasn’t responding well to your bad calibration and that hurt your ego because that ugly chick should’ve been grateful you’d say anything to her, not react badly when you approach badly. So then you took your ego butthurt out on her.

      “It was probably her ego defending herself as she probably noticed that I wasn’t interested in a sexual manner…simply making conversation.”

      No. It was your ego defending yourself because you were surprised that an ugly chick didn’t let you get away with bad calibration and a hostile approach. All she did was react to what you put out there.

      That’s why I say show her the beauty of escaping the rat race. That means that even if she’s ugly, you have to relate to her and pace and lead. You don’t get to just say uncalibrated shit and she’s supposed to accept it because she’s ugly lol it doesn’t work that way

      This set/reaction was your failing, not hers. I’m being a dick about it because I don’t really think you’ll listen or work on this because you don’t believe you were in the wrong, so this breakdown is more for other guys reading this who are learning to build comfort/rapport. This was straight-up a lack of calibration.

      “SHE judged me FIRST when I showed little care for what she valued in life.”

      What I’m saying is that you showed little care for what she valued in life in an uncalibrated wrong way. You thought because she’s ugly she should just accept it but she defended herself against your hostile attacking.

      That means you either didn’t know that you should pace and lead, which is what my Pokemon shit you ignored was about, or you didn’t think she was worth gaming solid because she wasn’t hot so she was beneath you…the end result is ruining her night when she did nothing wrong except not let you get away with insulting her.

      And then you REVEL in being an asshole to her and telling her how shitty her life is. If you aren’t going to use game to try to spread good vibes instead of bad then I’m not going to put on kiddy gloves and explain your mistakes in a friendly way, cause your chip on your shoulder ego causes you to enjoy fighting and you don’t seem to care about working on fixing that so you can provide value, even to ugly girls…instead you embrace it.

      I honestly don’t think you have much interest in making other people feel good, I think you’re more interested in bragging rights and props. Maybe you’ll work on that down the road but so far you’ve been a pretty good example of the kind of guy who gets into game to “get revenge on bitches” and I don’t like that which is why my responses to you are generally blunt and dickish.

      “I do have an ego and will throw out attitude when its dished out to me.”

      This will hold you back. Quit embracing it and instead work on fixing it.