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YaReally Archive


Women’s Worst Enemies Are Other Women

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via Heartiste

feministx
on October 31, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Original Link

I have experienced almost no cattiness from women in my life. I read all of this stuff about mean girls and it has almost no manifesting in my own life. This is part of why I suspect that most women do not experience cross racial attractiveness envy (or if not envy, the instinct to guard against). I grew up in a 99% white area and there was a certain lack of cattiness from women that always felt strange to me.

It’s created a certain bias in my world because men have been much worse to me than women. Hence, I share the jezebel sentiment. Im not saying it’s accurate. It’s just that I have experience male jerkiness (negs, put downs, desire to control and denigrate, and worst of all by far desire to STR), but I haven’t experienced much at all of female cattiness in my formative years.

My high school experience with girls was weird because the popular girls (white) all talked to me and seemed to like me (I sat at their lunch table), but they didn’t seem to feel competition from me. The expectation was that I would sit there and not talk much and dress nicely and then I’d be left alone.

It does say that this is a phenomenon of hot girls guarding against other hot girls to keep male attention. Maybe girls don’t really bother tearing down ugly girls because there is not much need. In my high school, ugly girls sort of knew their place, but they weren’t necessarily made fun of by the popular girls. As long as you didn’t try to be seen with the in clique, they left you alone if you were ugly, right? But if you are an ugly girl, you probably only invite cruel attention from men. They will ignore you till you are quite drunk and then try to have a ONS stand with you and otherwise make fun of you. So, maybe Jezebel girls tend to be ugly girls who have experienced comparitively worse treatment from men than from women.


  • Kate
    on October 31, 2013 at 3:26 pm
    Original Link

    You’re lucky. Members of the Bitch Brigade are everywhere!


    • feministx
      on October 31, 2013 at 6:36 pm
      Original Link

      Yeah I guess. Every once in a while an overweight woman at work can be very mean to me.

      But there is an inherent double standard in assessing the meanness of women vs men. A lot of women hold on to this idea that women are catty, worst enemies of women etc because girls are mean in middle school. Fair enough, they are, but have you seen what grown men who are long past middle school will do? I never met a girl meaner to me than heartiste has been. Does that surprise anyone? Still, there is a double standard here. He’s not a woman, so his meanness is palatable to me. If a girl is one half as mean as some alpha male personalities get then she will scar another girl for life, but a guy can be a lot meaner without losing much favor with women.


      • cynthia
        on November 1, 2013 at 8:50 am
        Original Link

        Honey, he’s not being mean, he’s being honest. You’re incapable of self-reflection. Or you’re trolling. And if something that somebody is saying to you on the Internet is worse than anything you’ve ever dealt with IRL, you need to turn off the computer and leave the basement.


        • feministx
          on November 1, 2013 at 9:02 am
          Original Link

          ” And if something that somebody is saying to you on the Internet is worse than anything you’ve ever dealt with IRL”

          It’s not worse because IRL guys have a lot more at stake when they are actually putting their dick inside of you. So Iv’e encountered guys who do plenty more damage than dear heartiste, but in terms of pure intent and actions, I haven’t met a girl that mean to me.

          I just never had that thing happen where you are really tight with girls and then they turn against you almost arbitrarily. The few cases I can recall of girls being mean in to me in HS were from girls I barely knew, not the girls that were supposed to be friends with me.


          • YaReally
            on November 1, 2013 at 10:30 am
            Original Link

            “The best way to annoy another woman is to be unimpressed with her husband.”

            Lol’ed. Very true.

            And as a man, the best way to fuck a married woman is to be unimpressed with her husband.



Women’s Worst Enemies Are Other Women

Original Link

via Heartiste

Hermitsy
on October 31, 2013 at 4:38 pm
Original Link

Hey all, I need help with a situation. Last night I was talking to a chick who liked my accent and wanted me to say banal things or just talk to her. One of the other chicks who’s in Europe and on my FB heard from this chick how she wanted to fuck me because of my voice.

This EE one sent me a voice message on FB today asking “what do you do, speak to me, I want to hear”. So she wants to hear my voice. I am not going to respond on her terms but I do need to respond. This EE chick is a very flakey one. I would be keen to get any pointers on how to proceed from here. Thanks in advance.


  • Lucky White Male
    on October 31, 2013 at 5:02 pm
    Original Link

    Hermitsy

    You are being made into a Dancing Monkey. Kind of like a girl sees you have a big cock, won’t touch your cock, tells her friend you have a big cock, she wants to see it , but she’s in Europe so she can’t touch it anytime soon

    You look like you need the validation of these girls admiring your voice. Also why do you say you “need” to respond to Europe girl? For what reason? Again you look a little less than man with abundant options.

    Tell broads “My voice is in demand. Call ME on Skype, my female admirer schedule is getting crowded”

    Cue YaReally in 3-2-1


    • Hermitsy
      on October 31, 2013 at 6:21 pm
      Original Link

      Nah. I don’t need validation. I couldn’t care less abt her. But as a student of CH I am curious on hearing thoughts on how to proceed for my learning.

      She is a Russian 8. Coming to my town in next few weeks.


      • YaReally
        on November 1, 2013 at 9:55 am
        Original Link

        “You can hear it in person over drinks when you’re here in a few weeks.”

        No calling or voice chat for her. She’s making you her dancing monkey but not giving you anything in return. She legit will probably bone you just off your accent, but that’s why you don’t give her your accent till shes within boning range lol

        She won’t buy the cow if she gets the milk for free, nommsayin?

        Soon as you get her out in person, you escalate to sex fast as fuck. Whisper in her ear and shit and just escalate it to makeouts and sex right away. There’s no benefit to playing it slow cause your voice is hitting a weak spot for her.

        (no calling to set up the date, she doesn’t get to hear your voice till you’re meeting up and in the same room…she’ll try to test you with “I’m not meeting up till I hear your voice” and you just say something like “ok have a nice visit. Txt me when you get bored of the lame accent-less guys here and want to meet up lol” where you aren’t afraid to not meet up with her)


        • Hermitsy
          on November 1, 2013 at 3:37 pm
          Original Link

          I sent her this voice message. “This is your friendly neighbourhood phone sex line, where all your imagination come true. Please put your hands down your pants and begin a journey. … Talk later”


          • YaReally
            on November 2, 2013 at 9:08 am
            Original Link

            “(no calling to set up the date, she doesn’t get to hear your voice till you’re meeting up and in the same room…”

            “Yeah, I wasn’t going to dance to her tune.”

            “I sent her this voice message”

            http://i.imgur.com/Y1dlnIu.jpg


          • YaReally
            on November 2, 2013 at 3:39 pm
            Original Link

            I didn’t say don’t interact with her, I said don’t leave her voicemails where she gets to hear your voice, especially not voicemails where you say sexy things to her. You’re just giving away the milk for free every time you let her hear your voice. Stick to text communication.



Women’s Worst Enemies Are Other Women

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on October 31, 2013 at 9:14 pm
Original Link

Very timely post and I would like to share 2 things. First a new game text I adapted and have used with interesting results. Let’s call this “The power of “…”
this: … three periods. It’s now my go-to response for girls who I want to alert that their behavior is not on, that I’m expecting a response, or that I want to trial text them but have nothing to say. This … gets the hamster going.

Background, girl I’m gaming, and have maintained a clear sexual vibe with has her hamster in over-drive. We went out a few weeks ago, good time major make out, then a flake. But I didn’t get upset, just kept a positive vibe.

Here’s our text exchange from last night and “the power of …”

her: I wanna be up front. I am looking for someone ready to settle down..i u just want some fun.. we shud just be friends.

Me: …

Her: I am being ridiculous. Yesterday I met my friends for dinner..bf of one of them joined us. they just started…I think I am jealous. I also wanna bring someone special to join the dinner but no one to bring.

A few learnings:

one, note how I maintain my frame and while I dont’ really know what to say I use “…” and get this huge hamster barf. I may set up drinks later. she’s up for something.

Secondly, if you’ve been following my other story, my ex gf who’s fairly hot has been chasing me since she broke up with me rather cruelly 2 weeks ago. I also maintained my frame. No beta butt-hurt crap, no lashing out, just “ok”…and ignore her.

She deleted my on FB yesterday. I considered ignoring it. Then I considered confronting her..Both are bad moves. But at the same time dead silence is kind of lame. She has tried to reach out in her angry girl butt-hurt way.

So I shot off a text late last night: ,…

This was my way of sending an ambiguous message to get hamster spinning knowing full well the deletion was aimed at pissing me off.

Ok, two things to consider there for you guys: girl who wants a guy to piss off her friends and ex gf crying out for attention and getting “…”

In both cases “…” is the common game tool that is more ambiguous than “gay”.


  • YaReally
    on November 1, 2013 at 10:22 am
    Original Link

    “So I shot off a text late last night: ,…”

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

    Ahhhh shit. You were doing SO good. I really thought you’d make it.

    “This was my way of sending an ambiguous message to get hamster spinning knowing full well the deletion was aimed at pissing me off.”

    Which is exactly why she did it. Congrats! You are now reacting to her and have taught her that, in the future, the bare minimum amount of crazy she needs to execute to get you to react is STARTING at deleting you off her Facebook.

    And I know, in your head you’re rationalizing this as “I’m totally making her hamster spin” but deep down in the back of your brain, you txted out of a fear of loss and her chick-brain is tuned to understand that.

    Realistically, like totally objectively, what would have happened if you didn’t txt? Like she deletes you and you don’t txt? You still have her number so it’s not like you can never contact eachother again. As long as you have that # (or know where she lives/works), you have the ability to re-stoke the relationship after she gives up.

    But now you’re sucked back into her game.

    The thing is you can get her back. That’s not in question, you could’ve taken her back a couple weeks ago. But you’re letting her back on her terms instead of yours. So right now you’ll get the short-term reward of her validation and interactions with you, but long-term you have created a dynamic that WILL result in escalating crazy and more drama because she knows you aren’t willing to cut her out entirely if she misbehaves, except the next time she pulls it she’ll do it when you’re locked into the relationship harder.

    Damn. I really thought you were gonna pull this off…it’s hard tho, hey? People think a Soft Next is no biggie but when it’s a girl you legit care about it hurts on your end as much as hers so it’s hard to hold strong thru its execution.

    This is why we recommend “GFTOW” (go fuck ten other women) in these situs and in one-itis situs, to distract the guy from thinking about her too much during the Soft Next so he doesn’t cave.

    Well hey, you tried at least. You did really good, so props for that. I hope she doesn’t bring drama your way again and you guys have a solid relationship but I also hope a pitbull that’s been trained to attack doesn’t maul a child’s face off and just licks it instead lol. Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 11:51 am
      Original Link

      Some follow-up:

      It’s like how they say no press is bad press. Whether they’re saying good things or bad things, they’re at least talking about your product.

      Same with opening a hot chick and getting on her radar…it doesn’t matter if you get her to emotionally react in a good positive way or in a bad way like by pissing her of or offending her…in both situations, you are on her radar and that’s the important part.

      Girls don’t shit-test a homeless guy because he’s not on their radar and they don’t want to interact with him at all. But they’ll give a guy who their brain knows they would potentially sleep with, a bunch of shit because he’s emotionally relevant to her.

      So the fuck up here isn’t what you said, it’s that you reacted to her stimulus of bad/immature/bratty behavior. The reply about “I thank everyone who helped” was okay because that’s not reacting to her shitty behavior, that’s just you coldly explaining an action you took.

      Basically your “…” here gives her the impression that 1) you noticed she de-facebooked you, which means that 2) you are still paying attention to her and her life, and 3) her de-facebooking you is relevant to you and caused an emotional reaction in you, good or bad.

      The point of a Soft Next is to demonstrate that you are 100% okay with her not existing if she misbehaves. You’re not angry at her, because that means she has emotional relevance to you, you simply turn her existence off like a light.

      When she accepts and understands that you are willing and able to make her emotionally irrelevant to you, and she gives up and stops writing to you, stops trying to re-initiate contact, stops trying to piss you off by de-friending you, once she gives up COMPLETELY and accepts that to you, she no longer exists…THEN you can re-open communication and take her back.

      So basically you undid everything the Soft Next was accomplishing and rewarded her with your attention (whether you bitch her out, be ambiguous, or proclaim your love, it’s all the same to her: she is emotionally relevant to you…no press is bad press style).

      So in essence you might as well have begged her to come back right after your fight because this action has cancelled out the Soft Next work you put in and all those weeks of frustration and suffering you put yourself thru, and simply taught her that you won’t pull the trigger.

      She won’t use that information right away. She’ll put on all sorts of “I’m sorry baby!!” shit and tell you exactly what you want to hear…but make no mistake: she will file this away in the far back dark corner of her mind to pull out in the future when she needs it.

      It’s like when a wife and husband fight and the wife calls the cops and learns first-hand that they’ll always believe anything she says and cart him off to jail for a couple days because they’re required to arrest someone by law…they may smooth things over, but that wife has learned that she has ultimate Hand and one day, when she hits a tipping point of not getting her way or a divorce etc, that dude is FUCKED.


    • walawala
      on November 1, 2013 at 9:27 pm
      Original Link

      @YaReally, but she came out to our weekly latin dance party. I blanked her and built up competitive anxiety. I’m also gaming other girls.

      Doesn’t the “…” constitute a pull after weeks of push?

      Doesn’t this sudden “…” ambiguous response spark a surprise?

      isn’t that why she came out and tried to make eye contact?

      My game has gotten good at scooping up girls, but I’m keen to understand more about LTR or using game to keep it going.

      Is “…” really undermining as seriously as you suggest?

      I saw it more as throwing out a diversionary re-frame.


      • YaReally
        on November 2, 2013 at 9:36 am
        Original Link

        @walawala

        “but she came out to our weekly latin dance party.”

        …to try to get a reaction out of you. Ignore WHAT she’s doing and look at the overall concept: her coming out to the party, her de-friending you, her txting you shit-test angry stuff, etc is all HER taking actions to get you to react in some way, good or bad, to her.

        “isn’t that why she came out and tried to make eye contact?”

        This is her taking action to get you to react to her.

        See what I’m saying? Whether she cries, threatens suicide, de-friends you on Facebook, begs you to take her back, stares at you from across the room in her sluttiest dress, messages you drunk, threatens you, guilts you…ALL of that = her taking action to get you to react to her.

        If you blow up at her, coddle her, apologize, bitch her out, send an ellipses, it doesn’t matter, no press is bad press and she instinctively knows “okay he’s bluffing and won’t REALLY get rid of me if i misbehave, and since this time he responded to me threatening him (or guilting him, or de-friending him) next time I start with threatening him (or guilting him, or de/friending him$ and go from there.”

        You can’t take her back until she gives up and stops “taking action to get you to react”. There’s no push/pull here, you are not “gaming” her, the game has gone into an alternate mode when you’re punishing her. It’s like the game is on pause until this situation is resolved. So you unpaused it ahead of time to keep playing the game, and the reason you unpaused it with your ellipses is BECAUSE she de-friended you so she KNOWS 100% that her action of de-friending you caused you to react and that is now her baseline and tells her “okay so if I walk away then he’ll chase, so that’s how I handle him in the future. The guilting and eye contact didnt work so I have to strike right at his fear of loss”

        This make sense? You gotta zoom out a bit and look at the overall structure of the dynamic going on, VS focusing zoomed in on “but she looked sad” and “but I used … instead of “hey” so that’s better right?” You have to boil it down to:

        1) is she taking action to get you to react?

        and

        2) are you reacting to her actions?

        You need the answer to both of those to be “no”, before you can take her back.

        She attends a party to stare at you = “yes” to question 1…you ignoring her to dance with other girls = “no” to question 2.

        Right now the de-friend = “yes” to question 1, and your “…” = “yes” to question 2. And this one undermines and nullifies all the “no to question 2″s you did up to that point because now she KNOWS that was all just a front and that the whole time you still had a fear of loss…she just had to try a thousand different tactics till she hit the one that changed question 2 to a “yes”. So that tactic that changed that question 2 to a “yes” will be the baseline she starts from in the future.

        You need her to give up so that she has a legit fear of loss and knows you will cut her out of your existence so that the answer to question 1 is “no” and the answer to question 2 is also “no”…THEN you can re-open communication and take her back.

        Again you can take her back now. 100% she would come back and you might even go a few months or a year or two with no problems. But you will be teaching a bulldog to bite people and then inviting it to play with children…sooner or later in a stressful situation it’s gonna fall back on it’s training and do what you trained it to do.


        • walawala
          on November 3, 2013 at 5:13 pm
          Original Link

          @YaReally, excellent. Your read on this is pretty much spot on.

          The “…” was a hiccup. From that point on I just carried on as normal, blanked her, gamed other girls etc. But, from your coaching that was a set-back that needs to be mitigated with continued no-contact

          But any outright “reaction” is ceding frame or acknowledging her bitchiness which up to that point I hadn’t done.

          Girls, especially hot girls used to getting what they want resort to various methods.

          The “De-friending” is a perfect vehicle for this. To “Re-friend” I would have to “send request” which then puts the request for her to “accept”…from a hot-girl bitchy perspective, it’s the ideal format to gain frame of some kind.

          So I haven’t done that.

          Dancing is also the perfect vehicle for her to gain frame: she gets the instant intimacy, she gets “lead”, she gets a kind of “forgiveness”–all the instant aspects of a relationship without any investment on her part. So again, this is something I’ve not done. It’s the reason for the eye contact and for coming out.

          For her part it’s “plausible deniability”-she comes out to be with her friends but by trying to get eye contact and invite me to dance she has that ability to simply say “it was just a dance”….the “longing” and dread that I’ve gone that has slowly been building up…would vanish.

          My ability to game and bang girls has improved. But this incident has now given me insights into how women think overall. The way they intuitively use “game” to get what they want.

          When she did this before, I gave in too soon. She came back, we got back together, it was awesome for a couple of months, then she pulled this stuff again, this time with even MORE DRAMA.

          Some girls live for DRAMA and when things are good or get too good, they try to mind fuck you to get that rush.

          This is a struggle for me (less and less each day as I do game other chicks and get busy with my work). But for her, it’s a way to relieve the boredom of her job and day and crappy life.

          This is why she would react in seconds to any angry text but in some cases take hours to reply to a “hey, how are you?” text. The rush of the interaction keeps her going. She’s getting what SHE wants.

          The “all press is good press” is a great analogy. “Any attention is good attention” to an attention-whore.

          Thanks again, will keep you updated if anything game-worthy appears.

          I’m away on a business trip and have a girl visiting me next weekend so won’t see her at our weekly party if she comes out. I may bring my visitor out.


          • YaReally
            on November 3, 2013 at 11:35 pm
            Original Link

            @walawala

            “But, from your coaching that was a set-back that needs to be mitigated with continued no-contact”

            Ya. Basically what you’ve done with the “…” is you’ve extended the Soft Next. Because now no matter what you do she will always remember “but that OOOOOOONE time he responded so he still cares a little…” So it’s a lot harder now for her to forget that and give up.

            “But any outright “reaction” is ceding frame or acknowledging her bitchiness which up to that point I hadn’t done.”

            Right, so you were doing good there. And she was going thru her Rolodex of “how do I get what I want” behaviors…guilt, attack, shame, crazy, respectful, de-friending, etc. Once she runs out of approaches and you haven’t reacted to any of them, she gives up. But you got caught on the de-friend so like I say now she’ll know “ahh don’t waste time on guilt, shame, etc, go for his fear of loss, THAT makes him react” and start from here.

            It’s like the joke about how women know how to just cut to your core as a man and say that one thing they know will make you fly off the handle, poking that ONE insecurity she knows you have…well how did she learn about that? She went thru her Rolodex on you over the years and you reacted when she said your dad was a loser or your hair is balding etc. she knows which card to pull out and only narrows that down further in each fight where you react.

            “Girls, especially hot girls used to getting what they want resort to various methods.”

            I have a girl who’s 2 months into a Soft Next lol she is massively high drama so unfortunately I have to be extra cruel about the Next. I literally don’t expect to see or contact her again till mid-winter maybe spring.

            She is txting me pretty much daily right now and the texts jump all over her Rolodex. Like I’ll get a sequence of txts spaced out over an hour that go:

            “YaReally don’t ignore meeeeee!!”
            “I know you want me.”
            “Fine then fuck you I’m deleting your number have a nice life”
            “YaReally why are you being so meeean?? :’(”
            “(a row of heart emoticons)”
            “Drunk…I miss you :(
            “Look at this funny animal picture!!” (lol)

            I don’t respond at all and haven’t in two months lol. But you can see how she goes thru the Rolodex trying to find something that will get any kind of reaction even a “…” or a “go away” or a lol out of me.

            But while she’s being this rabid spazzy, I have to keep ignoring her. Once she’s gone thru the Rolodex of “behaviors that have gotten me, a hot girl who’s used to getting her way, what she’s wanted in the past with everyone else in my life ESPECIALLY men” and finally gives up, then I can re-initiate and re-stoke the interaction.

            She may find another guy in the meantime but because its colder out and harder to meet people in the winter, she’s not going to be meeting a lot of guys…plus she’s obsessed with cracking me right now so right now I am the most high-value guy to her. She’s even sent pics of her txt convos with other dudes (way better looking than me lol) where she tries to demonstrate to me that she wants me and not other guys by telling them she misses YaReally and the dudes are like “uhh who’s that?” and she sends them a broken heart emoticon Lol

            Also I’m not real worried about her meeting a dude because what other dude could handle a chick like this? Lol none of this behavior pisses me off because I understand why she’s doing it. Honestly to me it’s just cute and feminine to go all emotional like this. It has zero effect on me. “Be the solid oak tree, rooted and firm, while she’s the skittering little squirrel zipping around your branches” dynamic type thing. But most guys would have no idea how to handle this girl and she knows it. I’m the only one who’s really kept a solid frame with her and even I’VE slipped up here and there.

            But I’m very good at handling this dynamic and it’s something that I learned thru experience. So you WILL naturally get better at Soft Next’ing and detaching from it and viewing it as a necessary short-term loss for a better long-term situation, for BOTH of you. ie – not allowing your kid to eat cookies for supper. Or a hot stove burning a kid when he touches it. The initial punishment sucks ass, but the long-term result is not having s tummy ache or burning your hand.

            Now anyone reading this is probably going “holy shit she’s psycho, run!!!” But she’s not…she IS a special case in that she’s the extreme end of this personality type and most girls are waaaay less stubborn/determined to “win” or have smaller Rolodexes…but at the end of the day she’s just 1) high drama and enjoys the whole emotional rollercoaster I’ve put her on, and 2) she’s simply instinctively doing what has worked for her on other guys in the past…she’s not crazy, she’s just super frustrated because she can’t figure out which key on the ring of keys unlocks the lock. Eventually she’ll realize none of them do. Then she’ll be allowed thru the door.

            “When she did this before, I gave in too soon. She came back, we got back together, it was awesome for a couple of months, then she pulled this stuff again, this time with even MORE DRAMA.”

            Yep. This is exactly what I mean. You taught her that, in a way.

            No one tugs on a motorcycle gangleader’s nose-ring because you KNOW there will be consequences lol but jocks will stuff a nerd in a locker.

            “This is a struggle for me (less and less each day as I do game other chicks and get busy with my work). But for her, it’s a way to relieve the boredom of her job and day and crappy life.”

            Ya. This is why a lot of guys have trouble and get frustrated with shit-tests and bitch-shields…the girl is in her comfort zone just making her day interesting, but the guy is like “WTF DO I DO?!? WOMAN Y U SO CRAZY????!?” Lol

            Some girls will start drama in perfect relationships because the relationship is TOO perfect and they NEED to experience a FULL RANGE of emotions. Not just the good ones. This is why stories/movies have conflict as well as victory. No one wants to watch a movie where everyone is happy and everything goes along without a hitch. There’s no emotional rollercoaster there. Contrast that with watching a scary Freddy Kreuger movie or an epic like Gladiator…ya you feel scared or depressed and shit which are bad emotions, but you literally PAID to experience those because it makes you feel alive. Some guys advocate actively picking a (safe) fight now and then just to let her get her drama fix…like letting your dog run its extra energy off in the park or relieving the pressure in a steam valve (I don’t know anything about steam valves lol).

            “I’m away on a business trip and have a girl visiting me next weekend so won’t see her at our weekly party if she comes out. I may bring my visitor out.”

            This could be pretty solid. It’s hard to recommend advice on what to do because you went off-track so now we’re doing damage control, but her knowing you have a chick around could help speed up the “give up” process because she sounds like the “watch sad-eyed from the sidelines” type not the “scratch the other bitches hair out and fight for your man” type lol

            If you didn’t attend the party, you could throw a Facebook pic up of wherever you’re traveling to, if that’s a thing that’s congruent to you and how you normally use Facebook, and have the girl be in the picture at all. Even calling her your tour guide or something would be enough, you don’t have to be like, hugging the girl lol

            …oh right she de-friended you lol nvm. But the just still applies:

            Basically you would just want to create the notion in her head that “he’s off having fun with other girls and isn’t even thinking of me anymore.”

            BUT you want to create that notion in a congruent non-try-hard way (which is what radio silence does) because if it looks like you’re just posting pics or bringing the girl out to make her jealous or rub it in her face or SHOW her “see I’m fine without you!! :P ”, that would be you reacting to her which is like a “…”

            This is a tricky situ. I can’t guarantee what’ll happen cause you went off-rails so we’ll see how it goes. I don’t think you’re in danger of legit losing her, like to another guy…even if she started dating one, you could probably take her from him or let her date him for a couple months and realize he’s boring and come back to you.

            Remember because it’s important: you can take her back at ANY point. You could have her back tomorrow. So if you’re scared to risk losing her, you can DO that…BUT you will be teaching the pitbull that biting people gets what the pitbull wants and down the road that could be a bad situ for you.

            Good luck!


      • YaReally
        on November 2, 2013 at 11:30 am
        Original Link

        Got a reply in mod for ya, check back later this weekend, not sure if shit gets approved on weekends



Women’s Worst Enemies Are Other Women

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feministx
on October 31, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Original Link

I have experienced almost no cattiness from women in my life. I read all of this stuff about mean girls and it has almost no manifesting in my own life. This is part of why I suspect that most women do not experience cross racial attractiveness envy (or if not envy, the instinct to guard against). I grew up in a 99% white area and there was a certain lack of cattiness from women that always felt strange to me.

It’s created a certain bias in my world because men have been much worse to me than women. Hence, I share the jezebel sentiment. Im not saying it’s accurate. It’s just that I have experience male jerkiness (negs, put downs, desire to control and denigrate, and worst of all by far desire to STR), but I haven’t experienced much at all of female cattiness in my formative years.

My high school experience with girls was weird because the popular girls (white) all talked to me and seemed to like me (I sat at their lunch table), but they didn’t seem to feel competition from me. The expectation was that I would sit there and not talk much and dress nicely and then I’d be left alone.

It does say that this is a phenomenon of hot girls guarding against other hot girls to keep male attention. Maybe girls don’t really bother tearing down ugly girls because there is not much need. In my high school, ugly girls sort of knew their place, but they weren’t necessarily made fun of by the popular girls. As long as you didn’t try to be seen with the in clique, they left you alone if you were ugly, right? But if you are an ugly girl, you probably only invite cruel attention from men. They will ignore you till you are quite drunk and then try to have a ONS stand with you and otherwise make fun of you. So, maybe Jezebel girls tend to be ugly girls who have experienced comparitively worse treatment from men than from women.


  • Kate
    on October 31, 2013 at 3:26 pm
    Original Link

    You’re lucky. Members of the Bitch Brigade are everywhere!


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 10:30 am
      Original Link

      “The best way to annoy another woman is to be unimpressed with her husband.”

      Lol’ed. Very true.

      And as a man, the best way to fuck a married woman is to be unimpressed with her husband.



Women’s Worst Enemies Are Other Women

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via Heartiste

Hermitsy
on October 31, 2013 at 4:38 pm
Original Link

Hey all, I need help with a situation. Last night I was talking to a chick who liked my accent and wanted me to say banal things or just talk to her. One of the other chicks who’s in Europe and on my FB heard from this chick how she wanted to fuck me because of my voice.

This EE one sent me a voice message on FB today asking “what do you do, speak to me, I want to hear”. So she wants to hear my voice. I am not going to respond on her terms but I do need to respond. This EE chick is a very flakey one. I would be keen to get any pointers on how to proceed from here. Thanks in advance.


  • Lucky White Male
    on October 31, 2013 at 5:02 pm
    Original Link

    Hermitsy

    You are being made into a Dancing Monkey. Kind of like a girl sees you have a big cock, won’t touch your cock, tells her friend you have a big cock, she wants to see it , but she’s in Europe so she can’t touch it anytime soon

    You look like you need the validation of these girls admiring your voice. Also why do you say you “need” to respond to Europe girl? For what reason? Again you look a little less than man with abundant options.

    Tell broads “My voice is in demand. Call ME on Skype, my female admirer schedule is getting crowded”

    Cue YaReally in 3-2-1


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 9:55 am
      Original Link

      “You can hear it in person over drinks when you’re here in a few weeks.”

      No calling or voice chat for her. She’s making you her dancing monkey but not giving you anything in return. She legit will probably bone you just off your accent, but that’s why you don’t give her your accent till shes within boning range lol

      She won’t buy the cow if she gets the milk for free, nommsayin?

      Soon as you get her out in person, you escalate to sex fast as fuck. Whisper in her ear and shit and just escalate it to makeouts and sex right away. There’s no benefit to playing it slow cause your voice is hitting a weak spot for her.

      (no calling to set up the date, she doesn’t get to hear your voice till you’re meeting up and in the same room…she’ll try to test you with “I’m not meeting up till I hear your voice” and you just say something like “ok have a nice visit. Txt me when you get bored of the lame accent-less guys here and want to meet up lol” where you aren’t afraid to not meet up with her)


    • YaReally
      on November 2, 2013 at 9:08 am
      Original Link

      “(no calling to set up the date, she doesn’t get to hear your voice till you’re meeting up and in the same room…”

      “Yeah, I wasn’t going to dance to her tune.”

      “I sent her this voice message”


    • YaReally
      on November 2, 2013 at 3:39 pm
      Original Link

      I didn’t say don’t interact with her, I said don’t leave her voicemails where she gets to hear your voice, especially not voicemails where you say sexy things to her. You’re just giving away the milk for free every time you let her hear your voice. Stick to text communication.



Women’s Worst Enemies Are Other Women

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walawala
on October 31, 2013 at 9:14 pm
Original Link

Very timely post and I would like to share 2 things. First a new game text I adapted and have used with interesting results. Let’s call this “The power of “…”
this: … three periods. It’s now my go-to response for girls who I want to alert that their behavior is not on, that I’m expecting a response, or that I want to trial text them but have nothing to say. This … gets the hamster going.

Background, girl I’m gaming, and have maintained a clear sexual vibe with has her hamster in over-drive. We went out a few weeks ago, good time major make out, then a flake. But I didn’t get upset, just kept a positive vibe.

Here’s our text exchange from last night and “the power of …”

her: I wanna be up front. I am looking for someone ready to settle down..i u just want some fun.. we shud just be friends.

Me: …

Her: I am being ridiculous. Yesterday I met my friends for dinner..bf of one of them joined us. they just started…I think I am jealous. I also wanna bring someone special to join the dinner but no one to bring.

A few learnings:

one, note how I maintain my frame and while I dont’ really know what to say I use “…” and get this huge hamster barf. I may set up drinks later. she’s up for something.

Secondly, if you’ve been following my other story, my ex gf who’s fairly hot has been chasing me since she broke up with me rather cruelly 2 weeks ago. I also maintained my frame. No beta butt-hurt crap, no lashing out, just “ok”…and ignore her.

She deleted my on FB yesterday. I considered ignoring it. Then I considered confronting her..Both are bad moves. But at the same time dead silence is kind of lame. She has tried to reach out in her angry girl butt-hurt way.

So I shot off a text late last night: ,…

This was my way of sending an ambiguous message to get hamster spinning knowing full well the deletion was aimed at pissing me off.

Ok, two things to consider there for you guys: girl who wants a guy to piss off her friends and ex gf crying out for attention and getting “…”

In both cases “…” is the common game tool that is more ambiguous than “gay”.


  • YaReally
    on November 1, 2013 at 10:22 am
    Original Link

    “So I shot off a text late last night: ,…”

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

    Ahhhh shit. You were doing SO good. I really thought you’d make it.

    “This was my way of sending an ambiguous message to get hamster spinning knowing full well the deletion was aimed at pissing me off.”

    Which is exactly why she did it. Congrats! You are now reacting to her and have taught her that, in the future, the bare minimum amount of crazy she needs to execute to get you to react is STARTING at deleting you off her Facebook.

    And I know, in your head you’re rationalizing this as “I’m totally making her hamster spin” but deep down in the back of your brain, you txted out of a fear of loss and her chick-brain is tuned to understand that.

    Realistically, like totally objectively, what would have happened if you didn’t txt? Like she deletes you and you don’t txt? You still have her number so it’s not like you can never contact eachother again. As long as you have that # (or know where she lives/works), you have the ability to re-stoke the relationship after she gives up.

    But now you’re sucked back into her game.

    The thing is you can get her back. That’s not in question, you could’ve taken her back a couple weeks ago. But you’re letting her back on her terms instead of yours. So right now you’ll get the short-term reward of her validation and interactions with you, but long-term you have created a dynamic that WILL result in escalating crazy and more drama because she knows you aren’t willing to cut her out entirely if she misbehaves, except the next time she pulls it she’ll do it when you’re locked into the relationship harder.

    Damn. I really thought you were gonna pull this off…it’s hard tho, hey? People think a Soft Next is no biggie but when it’s a girl you legit care about it hurts on your end as much as hers so it’s hard to hold strong thru its execution.

    This is why we recommend “GFTOW” (go fuck ten other women) in these situs and in one-itis situs, to distract the guy from thinking about her too much during the Soft Next so he doesn’t cave.

    Well hey, you tried at least. You did really good, so props for that. I hope she doesn’t bring drama your way again and you guys have a solid relationship but I also hope a pitbull that’s been trained to attack doesn’t maul a child’s face off and just licks it instead lol. Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 11:51 am
      Original Link

      Some follow-up:

      It’s like how they say no press is bad press. Whether they’re saying good things or bad things, they’re at least talking about your product.

      Same with opening a hot chick and getting on her radar…it doesn’t matter if you get her to emotionally react in a good positive way or in a bad way like by pissing her of or offending her…in both situations, you are on her radar and that’s the important part.

      Girls don’t shit-test a homeless guy because he’s not on their radar and they don’t want to interact with him at all. But they’ll give a guy who their brain knows they would potentially sleep with, a bunch of shit because he’s emotionally relevant to her.

      So the fuck up here isn’t what you said, it’s that you reacted to her stimulus of bad/immature/bratty behavior. The reply about “I thank everyone who helped” was okay because that’s not reacting to her shitty behavior, that’s just you coldly explaining an action you took.

      Basically your “…” here gives her the impression that 1) you noticed she de-facebooked you, which means that 2) you are still paying attention to her and her life, and 3) her de-facebooking you is relevant to you and caused an emotional reaction in you, good or bad.

      The point of a Soft Next is to demonstrate that you are 100% okay with her not existing if she misbehaves. You’re not angry at her, because that means she has emotional relevance to you, you simply turn her existence off like a light.

      When she accepts and understands that you are willing and able to make her emotionally irrelevant to you, and she gives up and stops writing to you, stops trying to re-initiate contact, stops trying to piss you off by de-friending you, once she gives up COMPLETELY and accepts that to you, she no longer exists…THEN you can re-open communication and take her back.

      So basically you undid everything the Soft Next was accomplishing and rewarded her with your attention (whether you bitch her out, be ambiguous, or proclaim your love, it’s all the same to her: she is emotionally relevant to you…no press is bad press style).

      So in essence you might as well have begged her to come back right after your fight because this action has cancelled out the Soft Next work you put in and all those weeks of frustration and suffering you put yourself thru, and simply taught her that you won’t pull the trigger.

      She won’t use that information right away. She’ll put on all sorts of “I’m sorry baby!!” shit and tell you exactly what you want to hear…but make no mistake: she will file this away in the far back dark corner of her mind to pull out in the future when she needs it.

      It’s like when a wife and husband fight and the wife calls the cops and learns first-hand that they’ll always believe anything she says and cart him off to jail for a couple days because they’re required to arrest someone by law…they may smooth things over, but that wife has learned that she has ultimate Hand and one day, when she hits a tipping point of not getting her way or a divorce etc, that dude is FUCKED.


    • YaReally
      on November 2, 2013 at 9:36 am
      Original Link

      @walawala

      “but she came out to our weekly latin dance party.”

      …to try to get a reaction out of you. Ignore WHAT she’s doing and look at the overall concept: her coming out to the party, her de-friending you, her txting you shit-test angry stuff, etc is all HER taking actions to get you to react in some way, good or bad, to her.

      “isn’t that why she came out and tried to make eye contact?”

      This is her taking action to get you to react to her.

      See what I’m saying? Whether she cries, threatens suicide, de-friends you on Facebook, begs you to take her back, stares at you from across the room in her sluttiest dress, messages you drunk, threatens you, guilts you…ALL of that = her taking action to get you to react to her.

      If you blow up at her, coddle her, apologize, bitch her out, send an ellipses, it doesn’t matter, no press is bad press and she instinctively knows “okay he’s bluffing and won’t REALLY get rid of me if i misbehave, and since this time he responded to me threatening him (or guilting him, or de-friending him) next time I start with threatening him (or guilting him, or de/friending him$ and go from there.”

      You can’t take her back until she gives up and stops “taking action to get you to react”. There’s no push/pull here, you are not “gaming” her, the game has gone into an alternate mode when you’re punishing her. It’s like the game is on pause until this situation is resolved. So you unpaused it ahead of time to keep playing the game, and the reason you unpaused it with your ellipses is BECAUSE she de-friended you so she KNOWS 100% that her action of de-friending you caused you to react and that is now her baseline and tells her “okay so if I walk away then he’ll chase, so that’s how I handle him in the future. The guilting and eye contact didnt work so I have to strike right at his fear of loss”

      This make sense? You gotta zoom out a bit and look at the overall structure of the dynamic going on, VS focusing zoomed in on “but she looked sad” and “but I used … instead of “hey” so that’s better right?” You have to boil it down to:

      1) is she taking action to get you to react?

      and

      2) are you reacting to her actions?

      You need the answer to both of those to be “no”, before you can take her back.

      She attends a party to stare at you = “yes” to question 1…you ignoring her to dance with other girls = “no” to question 2.

      Right now the de-friend = “yes” to question 1, and your “…” = “yes” to question 2. And this one undermines and nullifies all the “no to question 2″s you did up to that point because now she KNOWS that was all just a front and that the whole time you still had a fear of loss…she just had to try a thousand different tactics till she hit the one that changed question 2 to a “yes”. So that tactic that changed that question 2 to a “yes” will be the baseline she starts from in the future.

      You need her to give up so that she has a legit fear of loss and knows you will cut her out of your existence so that the answer to question 1 is “no” and the answer to question 2 is also “no”…THEN you can re-open communication and take her back.

      Again you can take her back now. 100% she would come back and you might even go a few months or a year or two with no problems. But you will be teaching a bulldog to bite people and then inviting it to play with children…sooner or later in a stressful situation it’s gonna fall back on it’s training and do what you trained it to do.


    • YaReally
      on November 2, 2013 at 11:30 am
      Original Link

      Got a reply in mod for ya, check back later this weekend, not sure if shit gets approved on weekends


    • YaReally
      on November 3, 2013 at 11:35 pm
      Original Link

      @walawala

      “But, from your coaching that was a set-back that needs to be mitigated with continued no-contact”

      Ya. Basically what you’ve done with the “…” is you’ve extended the Soft Next. Because now no matter what you do she will always remember “but that OOOOOOONE time he responded so he still cares a little…” So it’s a lot harder now for her to forget that and give up.

      “But any outright “reaction” is ceding frame or acknowledging her bitchiness which up to that point I hadn’t done.”

      Right, so you were doing good there. And she was going thru her Rolodex of “how do I get what I want” behaviors…guilt, attack, shame, crazy, respectful, de-friending, etc. Once she runs out of approaches and you haven’t reacted to any of them, she gives up. But you got caught on the de-friend so like I say now she’ll know “ahh don’t waste time on guilt, shame, etc, go for his fear of loss, THAT makes him react” and start from here.

      It’s like the joke about how women know how to just cut to your core as a man and say that one thing they know will make you fly off the handle, poking that ONE insecurity she knows you have…well how did she learn about that? She went thru her Rolodex on you over the years and you reacted when she said your dad was a loser or your hair is balding etc. she knows which card to pull out and only narrows that down further in each fight where you react.

      “Girls, especially hot girls used to getting what they want resort to various methods.”

      I have a girl who’s 2 months into a Soft Next lol she is massively high drama so unfortunately I have to be extra cruel about the Next. I literally don’t expect to see or contact her again till mid-winter maybe spring.

      She is txting me pretty much daily right now and the texts jump all over her Rolodex. Like I’ll get a sequence of txts spaced out over an hour that go:

      “YaReally don’t ignore meeeeee!!”
      “I know you want me.”
      “Fine then fuck you I’m deleting your number have a nice life”
      “YaReally why are you being so meeean?? :'(”
      “(a row of heart emoticons)”
      “Drunk…I miss you :(”
      “Look at this funny animal picture!!” (lol)

      I don’t respond at all and haven’t in two months lol. But you can see how she goes thru the Rolodex trying to find something that will get any kind of reaction even a “…” or a “go away” or a lol out of me.

      But while she’s being this rabid spazzy, I have to keep ignoring her. Once she’s gone thru the Rolodex of “behaviors that have gotten me, a hot girl who’s used to getting her way, what she’s wanted in the past with everyone else in my life ESPECIALLY men” and finally gives up, then I can re-initiate and re-stoke the interaction.

      She may find another guy in the meantime but because its colder out and harder to meet people in the winter, she’s not going to be meeting a lot of guys…plus she’s obsessed with cracking me right now so right now I am the most high-value guy to her. She’s even sent pics of her txt convos with other dudes (way better looking than me lol) where she tries to demonstrate to me that she wants me and not other guys by telling them she misses YaReally and the dudes are like “uhh who’s that?” and she sends them a broken heart emoticon Lol

      Also I’m not real worried about her meeting a dude because what other dude could handle a chick like this? Lol none of this behavior pisses me off because I understand why she’s doing it. Honestly to me it’s just cute and feminine to go all emotional like this. It has zero effect on me. “Be the solid oak tree, rooted and firm, while she’s the skittering little squirrel zipping around your branches” dynamic type thing. But most guys would have no idea how to handle this girl and she knows it. I’m the only one who’s really kept a solid frame with her and even I’VE slipped up here and there.

      But I’m very good at handling this dynamic and it’s something that I learned thru experience. So you WILL naturally get better at Soft Next’ing and detaching from it and viewing it as a necessary short-term loss for a better long-term situation, for BOTH of you. ie – not allowing your kid to eat cookies for supper. Or a hot stove burning a kid when he touches it. The initial punishment sucks ass, but the long-term result is not having s tummy ache or burning your hand.

      Now anyone reading this is probably going “holy shit she’s psycho, run!!!” But she’s not…she IS a special case in that she’s the extreme end of this personality type and most girls are waaaay less stubborn/determined to “win” or have smaller Rolodexes…but at the end of the day she’s just 1) high drama and enjoys the whole emotional rollercoaster I’ve put her on, and 2) she’s simply instinctively doing what has worked for her on other guys in the past…she’s not crazy, she’s just super frustrated because she can’t figure out which key on the ring of keys unlocks the lock. Eventually she’ll realize none of them do. Then she’ll be allowed thru the door.

      “When she did this before, I gave in too soon. She came back, we got back together, it was awesome for a couple of months, then she pulled this stuff again, this time with even MORE DRAMA.”

      Yep. This is exactly what I mean. You taught her that, in a way.

      No one tugs on a motorcycle gangleader’s nose-ring because you KNOW there will be consequences lol but jocks will stuff a nerd in a locker.

      “This is a struggle for me (less and less each day as I do game other chicks and get busy with my work). But for her, it’s a way to relieve the boredom of her job and day and crappy life.”

      Ya. This is why a lot of guys have trouble and get frustrated with shit-tests and bitch-shields…the girl is in her comfort zone just making her day interesting, but the guy is like “WTF DO I DO?!? WOMAN Y U SO CRAZY????!?” Lol

      Some girls will start drama in perfect relationships because the relationship is TOO perfect and they NEED to experience a FULL RANGE of emotions. Not just the good ones. This is why stories/movies have conflict as well as victory. No one wants to watch a movie where everyone is happy and everything goes along without a hitch. There’s no emotional rollercoaster there. Contrast that with watching a scary Freddy Kreuger movie or an epic like Gladiator…ya you feel scared or depressed and shit which are bad emotions, but you literally PAID to experience those because it makes you feel alive. Some guys advocate actively picking a (safe) fight now and then just to let her get her drama fix…like letting your dog run its extra energy off in the park or relieving the pressure in a steam valve (I don’t know anything about steam valves lol).

      “I’m away on a business trip and have a girl visiting me next weekend so won’t see her at our weekly party if she comes out. I may bring my visitor out.”

      This could be pretty solid. It’s hard to recommend advice on what to do because you went off-track so now we’re doing damage control, but her knowing you have a chick around could help speed up the “give up” process because she sounds like the “watch sad-eyed from the sidelines” type not the “scratch the other bitches hair out and fight for your man” type lol

      If you didn’t attend the party, you could throw a Facebook pic up of wherever you’re traveling to, if that’s a thing that’s congruent to you and how you normally use Facebook, and have the girl be in the picture at all. Even calling her your tour guide or something would be enough, you don’t have to be like, hugging the girl lol

      …oh right she de-friended you lol nvm. But the just still applies:

      Basically you would just want to create the notion in her head that “he’s off having fun with other girls and isn’t even thinking of me anymore.”

      BUT you want to create that notion in a congruent non-try-hard way (which is what radio silence does) because if it looks like you’re just posting pics or bringing the girl out to make her jealous or rub it in her face or SHOW her “see I’m fine without you!! :P”, that would be you reacting to her which is like a “…”

      This is a tricky situ. I can’t guarantee what’ll happen cause you went off-rails so we’ll see how it goes. I don’t think you’re in danger of legit losing her, like to another guy…even if she started dating one, you could probably take her from him or let her date him for a couple months and realize he’s boring and come back to you.

      Remember because it’s important: you can take her back at ANY point. You could have her back tomorrow. So if you’re scared to risk losing her, you can DO that…BUT you will be teaching the pitbull that biting people gets what the pitbull wants and down the road that could be a bad situ for you.

      Good luck!



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

maurice
on October 30, 2013 at 8:36 am
Original Link

I’m of two minds about a man like this- on the one hand, he lived large, slayed poon, did whatever he wanted, etc. Sort of the id run wild, an ideal, I suppose, to aspire to. But on the other hand, he was sort of a piece of shit, wasn’t he. Liar, thief, opportunist, user of people. I can’t imagine anyone actually liking him or befriending him once they had his number. (Except for the poor females in thrall to their unfortunate urges.) So speaking of going to the grave, another measure of how well a life was lived is how many people loved, liked, respected, cared for you. I may be simplifying from a short biographical sketch, but it doesn’t look like this guy, whose life might be summarized as the Birth of Eurotrash, had many people like that.


  • ar10308
    on October 30, 2013 at 8:49 am
    Original Link

    I wonder how many attended his funeral.


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 9:16 am
      Original Link

      Probably more than the generic beta schlub who’s wife divorces him, takes custody of his kids after filing false abuse charges and feeds them lies about what a shitty person he is so they don’t want to be in his life anymore, while in the meantime he stopped hanging out with his friends or meeting new people and new friends/relationships because he vanished into the world of “DVD and takeout” nights with one person, and, after his divorce, he was too obese to fuck but it didn’t matter because he actively threw away the social skills that would have helped him meet new people after his divorce…

      Not that he would’ve had time to develop new relationships, since he’d be busy working his ass off to pay alimony and child support for kids that look suspiciously like his bad-boy next door neighbor, all in the hopes that he doesn’t go to jail for failing to keep her in the life she was accustomed to…her new boyfriend could do that for her if she married her, but why would they get married and cut off her free gov’t supported income source of working him into the grave?

      No one attended THAT guy’s funeral. I’m not saying Rubi’s path is the way to go, but I’ll bet a lot more people were sad to hear he died and missed him, than how many gave a shit about Bob from Accounting the sad broken old divorcee who’s kids haven’t talked to him in years did.



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

maurice
on October 30, 2013 at 8:36 am
Original Link

I’m of two minds about a man like this- on the one hand, he lived large, slayed poon, did whatever he wanted, etc. Sort of the id run wild, an ideal, I suppose, to aspire to. But on the other hand, he was sort of a piece of shit, wasn’t he. Liar, thief, opportunist, user of people. I can’t imagine anyone actually liking him or befriending him once they had his number. (Except for the poor females in thrall to their unfortunate urges.) So speaking of going to the grave, another measure of how well a life was lived is how many people loved, liked, respected, cared for you. I may be simplifying from a short biographical sketch, but it doesn’t look like this guy, whose life might be summarized as the Birth of Eurotrash, had many people like that.


  • ar10308
    on October 30, 2013 at 8:49 am
    Original Link

    I wonder how many attended his funeral.


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 9:16 am
      Original Link

      Probably more than the generic beta schlub who’s wife divorces him, takes custody of his kids after filing false abuse charges and feeds them lies about what a shitty person he is so they don’t want to be in his life anymore, while in the meantime he stopped hanging out with his friends or meeting new people and new friends/relationships because he vanished into the world of “DVD and takeout” nights with one person, and, after his divorce, he was too obese to fuck but it didn’t matter because he actively threw away the social skills that would have helped him meet new people after his divorce…

      Not that he would’ve had time to develop new relationships, since he’d be busy working his ass off to pay alimony and child support for kids that look suspiciously like his bad-boy next door neighbor, all in the hopes that he doesn’t go to jail for failing to keep her in the life she was accustomed to…her new boyfriend could do that for her if she married her, but why would they get married and cut off her free gov’t supported income source of working him into the grave?

      No one attended THAT guy’s funeral. I’m not saying Rubi’s path is the way to go, but I’ll bet a lot more people were sad to hear he died and missed him, than how many gave a shit about Bob from Accounting the sad broken old divorcee who’s kids haven’t talked to him in years did.



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

RappaccinisDaughter
on October 30, 2013 at 8:53 am
Original Link

You asked whether or not he could be considered attractive, and pronounced yourself unqualified to judge. So I’ll weigh in:

Not really, from that picture. He’s not a troll or anything, but I wouldn’t look at him twice. Decent chin, good teeth, but a massive fivehead and beady eyes. I walked past five better-looking guys this morning getting my Starfucks.

p.s., if you want to summon Matt King, I suppose your last paragraph is a politer way than dropping a rosary into an Arizona Ice Tea bottle full of Lean.


  • Matthew King
    on October 31, 2013 at 12:39 pm
    Original Link

    p.s., if you want to summon Matt King, I suppose your last paragraph is a politer way than dropping a rosary into an Arizona Ice Tea bottle full of Lean.

    Duly summoned!

    But I’m not going to slake your (or CH’s) inconsolable curiosity that is the necessary result of your faux-sophisticated nihilism. I’ve said my piece.

    All I have to add is that you deliberately simplify the position in order to deal with it in a simple way. The “afterlife” is not a reward for doing good. This is the transactional mentality of bourgeois shopkeepers burned into middle-class morality like yours. Like a Jèwish merchant, the bourgeois always needs something for something, and sneers at the possibility of freely-given noblesse oblige for nothing in return, the natural overflowing magnanimity of men who have a surplus. Largess is unthinkable to the merchant Hebe; miserly storing away one’s resources (attention, affection, charity, good will) is the only way to live.

    The afterlife is a theological hope, rightly understood. It is not a motivation. It cannot be motivational. If one does good only to be rewarded later, it is not purely good.

    You’re a smart girl. You can grasp this if you try.

    Matt


    • RappaccinisDaughter
      on October 31, 2013 at 1:35 pm
      Original Link

      Oh, but I did try, Matt, and I did it with the help of a small army of very nice, functional, mainstream Presbyterians who were genuinely trying to help me. And it’s not that the exegesis escapes me; I understand it all perfectly well.

      The problem is that, in the absence of provable facts (an intellectual limbo in which all religions, including atheism, must exist), there is only faith. I simply have none. I don’t know why that is; it’s always been that way, as long as I can remember. I recall sitting in church when I couldn’t have been older than four (my sister was a babe in arms, that’s how I know), thinking “Is everybody else in here pretending to believe this, or is it just me?”

      There is nothing you or anyone else human can do to cause me to have faith. Although I’ll cheerfully submit that if there is a god, and it wants to talk to me, I’m pretty sure he/she/it knows how to get in touch in a way I’d understand.


      • Matthew King
        on October 31, 2013 at 7:09 pm
        Original Link

        Almost there, honeytits.

        This isn’t about faith, it is about hope (or spes</i), which is a different theological virtue.

        Your problem in this particular instance is a failure of rudimentary logic. An absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

        God has spoken to you. Through me, through all who have loved you, through conventional religion, and in the scintilla of self-awareness that occasionally alerts you simultaneously to your existence and its eventual snuffing-out.

        If he spoke to you directly, you would be annihilated by definition. You cannot maintain free will in the face of ipsum esse subsistens. Interaction with anything worthy of being called “God” would require your obedience down to the molecule or your destruction, as in the Old Testament sense: no one has ever seen God (John 1); no one has ever seen God and lived (Exodus).

        Which is why God became man, as a way for us who were “made in the image and likeness” to have a plausible frame of reference to the divine.

        Just as your finitude cannot fathom infinity, your mind cannot imagine something created from nothing. And yet here we are, something, existing.

        You haven’t plumbed these questions very deep, and that’s okay. But the presumption is something else entirely. It’s not your failure to believe in God that’s untenable. It’s your active disbelief that marks you as a fool. No, nobody has presented you with a case for God that you can grasp easily; but then, nobody has presented you with an airtight case against it. That you tend toward the certainty of God’s non-existence is as absurd as saying you yourself do not exist, but typical of the mediocre mind marooned in today’s skin-deep culture.

        The wise position is agnosticism — Socrates’s dictum that “all I know is I know nothing — but it is an ignorance that is married to spes. Otherwise you must live the postmodern absurdity, which only works if you remain superficial about these matters.

        But you do not want to remain superficial about the great questions of existence, which forms the curiosity that motivates your mockery. If it weren’t such a nagging mystery, you wouldn’t bring it up, nor would you contradict people like me in the hope of precipitating a satisfying response. You share this trait with CH.

        The truth is, as I mentioned above, you are a shopkeeper’s daughter. You simply do not have the intellectual or moral refinement to converse intelligently about these matters, claims to “understand[ing]” the “exegesis” notwithstanding.

        Fortunately there is a language with which you might investigate them anyway, the language of transaction: the church is for everybody, even the middle-class merchants, so if you have to understand the relationship of God and man like that between proprietor and customer, as quid pro quo, that is good enough to get you there.

        Unfortunately, the postmodern culture has destroyed the possibility of this transactional understanding for lightly informed spiritualists like you — i.e., that you will be rewarded in heaven for your good deeds on earth — leaving you with the default nihilism and despair rather than a delicately maintained hope.

        We all see “through a glass darkly.” Only your bourgeois morality was taken away because philosophes imagined commoners could handle the “darkly” part by rationalizing it (“understanding the exegesis”). So they replaced the hope that gave the middle and lower classes a contented life with an artifice farmers and slutty junior college chicks could not comprehend or integrate into their world, inviting an unprepared mind to gaze into the abyss alone. The result was a “reality” so abjectly frightening that they learned to avoid ever thinking about it, like a monster under the bed who might go away by closing one’s eyes.

        Instead of thinking intelligently about one’s mortality on a periodic basis (at church services), now your type never thinks about it in any systematic and therefore effective way. You have learned to content yourself by running away rather than facing the darkness in communion with your fellow mortals, filling your mind with pretensions of psychological sophistication and vice and distraction.

        I love it when dullards say faith is for impoverished ignoramuses. The truth is, the faith of atheism — the unfounded certainty, the leap in the dark that there must be nothing — is the mark of the lower classes biting off more spiritual and intellectual sophistication than they could chew.

        None of this was a call to your faith. This is a purely logical argument about the spiritual surroundings in which you grew up, and how they fit into a larger conversation you didn’t know your superiors were having.

        Matt


        • RappaccinisDaughter
          on November 1, 2013 at 8:18 am
          Original Link

          When did I say I was an atheist? I’m not. Atheism is a religion in and of itself; a matter of belief rather than of certainty. There’s no more evidence that there is no god than that there is one. The reason I haven’t bothered laying my chips down with Pascal is that my lack of faith makes it an exercise in futility. Sure, I could go through the motions…and in fact have done so in the past. But the only effect I’ve noticed is a distinct grouchiness connected to getting up early on a Sunday morning for the dubious pleasure of being bored out of my skull for two hours.

          I know your brand of faith requires that you proselytize, so don’t worry, I ain’t even mad. You tried! Now you can reward yourself with a nice little Christ Cookie.


          • YaReally
            on November 1, 2013 at 11:30 am
            Original Link

            Now THAT’S a neg. lol



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

RappaccinisDaughter
on October 30, 2013 at 8:53 am
Original Link

You asked whether or not he could be considered attractive, and pronounced yourself unqualified to judge. So I’ll weigh in:

Not really, from that picture. He’s not a troll or anything, but I wouldn’t look at him twice. Decent chin, good teeth, but a massive fivehead and beady eyes. I walked past five better-looking guys this morning getting my Starfucks.

p.s., if you want to summon Matt King, I suppose your last paragraph is a politer way than dropping a rosary into an Arizona Ice Tea bottle full of Lean.


  • Matthew King
    on October 31, 2013 at 12:39 pm
    Original Link

    p.s., if you want to summon Matt King, I suppose your last paragraph is a politer way than dropping a rosary into an Arizona Ice Tea bottle full of Lean.

    Duly summoned!

    But I’m not going to slake your (or CH’s) inconsolable curiosity that is the necessary result of your faux-sophisticated nihilism. I’ve said my piece.

    All I have to add is that you deliberately simplify the position in order to deal with it in a simple way. The “afterlife” is not a reward for doing good. This is the transactional mentality of bourgeois shopkeepers burned into middle-class morality like yours. Like a Jèwish merchant, the bourgeois always needs something for something, and sneers at the possibility of freely-given noblesse oblige for nothing in return, the natural overflowing magnanimity of men who have a surplus. Largess is unthinkable to the merchant Hebe; miserly storing away one’s resources (attention, affection, charity, good will) is the only way to live.

    The afterlife is a theological hope, rightly understood. It is not a motivation. It cannot be motivational. If one does good only to be rewarded later, it is not purely good.

    You’re a smart girl. You can grasp this if you try.

    Matt


    • YaReally
      on November 1, 2013 at 11:30 am
      Original Link

      Now THAT’S a neg. lol



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

Pat
on October 30, 2013 at 10:27 am
Original Link

I would enjoy it if CH made a post about a “good guy” alpha. The kind I think many more of the guests here aspire to.

As the gist of what a lot of commenters are getting at is, the guy lived a happy life by doing what he wanted. This, is tantamount to being a man.

I get the impression however, that many guests on this board wouldn’t mind a more conservative lifestyle. Find a girl from a less overtly sexual community/culture, enjoy making and raising a family (plenty of men enjoy this, seemingly much more than women even, and this blog is all about men getting what they want), and using the correct calibration of game to keep your wife from becoming a bitching, cheating whore.

Although I’m sure other manosphere regions of the net may pander to the type of lifestyle I described above, I would like to see CH’s take on how this could be pulled off, any notable figures, stories, etc…


  • TJ
    on October 30, 2013 at 10:50 am
    Original Link

    Related question. I have pretty much that. I’m 33, have a 23-year old, 8.5/9, submissive, sweet, religious wife. It’s a nice life. She’s a great cook, she loves being sexed, etc. Helps that I make $300k and have good alpha credibility based both on current hand and my prior single life.

    But I do miss the variety. A lot. We’ve been married 2 years. If I cheated and she knew, she would take it very, very hard. Might end the marriage, would definitely be loads of unwanted drama. And I hate the idea of hurting her. And I want kids, for whom she’ll be an excellent mother. On the other hand, the itch is tough.

    Any thoughts on (a) getting away with it, or (b) making it acceptable over time if done in a dignified way, JFK style? Obviously I know to keep it far from my home, so that’s not really an insight.


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 5:52 pm
      Original Link

      It’s cool, she’ll go along with it because she knows you can leave the relationship if she doesn’t.

      …oh wait, you gave up the ability to leave the relationship, basically the one power play you have as a man, by marrying her.

      Have her put on wigs, get your fix thru porn, or cheat behind her back like a weasel and hope it doesn’t break her heart and you don’t lose half your $ and pay alimony the rest of your life.

      Don’t get married people, srsly lol

      (I know this wasn’t helpful, I’m just making a point for the guys who are considering marriage. In all seriousness, it’s very easy to go from an open relationship to a monogamous one because that’s a sign that she’s winning you over and winning your commitment, but it’s VERY difficult to go from monogamy to open because she’ll interpret it as there being something lacking in the relationship that wasn’t lacking before, or that you’re getting bored with her or that in some way she’s losing you…so you’re kind of shit out of luck unless you don’t mind risking a divorce over pitching the idea of “I get to go out and fuck other women while you sit at home worrying about whether I’m going to come home or not”)



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

Pat
on October 30, 2013 at 10:27 am
Original Link

I would enjoy it if CH made a post about a “good guy” alpha. The kind I think many more of the guests here aspire to.

As the gist of what a lot of commenters are getting at is, the guy lived a happy life by doing what he wanted. This, is tantamount to being a man.

I get the impression however, that many guests on this board wouldn’t mind a more conservative lifestyle. Find a girl from a less overtly sexual community/culture, enjoy making and raising a family (plenty of men enjoy this, seemingly much more than women even, and this blog is all about men getting what they want), and using the correct calibration of game to keep your wife from becoming a bitching, cheating whore.

Although I’m sure other manosphere regions of the net may pander to the type of lifestyle I described above, I would like to see CH’s take on how this could be pulled off, any notable figures, stories, etc…


  • TJ
    on October 30, 2013 at 10:50 am
    Original Link

    Related question. I have pretty much that. I’m 33, have a 23-year old, 8.5/9, submissive, sweet, religious wife. It’s a nice life. She’s a great cook, she loves being sexed, etc. Helps that I make $300k and have good alpha credibility based both on current hand and my prior single life.

    But I do miss the variety. A lot. We’ve been married 2 years. If I cheated and she knew, she would take it very, very hard. Might end the marriage, would definitely be loads of unwanted drama. And I hate the idea of hurting her. And I want kids, for whom she’ll be an excellent mother. On the other hand, the itch is tough.

    Any thoughts on (a) getting away with it, or (b) making it acceptable over time if done in a dignified way, JFK style? Obviously I know to keep it far from my home, so that’s not really an insight.


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 5:52 pm
      Original Link

      It’s cool, she’ll go along with it because she knows you can leave the relationship if she doesn’t.

      …oh wait, you gave up the ability to leave the relationship, basically the one power play you have as a man, by marrying her.

      Have her put on wigs, get your fix thru porn, or cheat behind her back like a weasel and hope it doesn’t break her heart and you don’t lose half your $ and pay alimony the rest of your life.

      Don’t get married people, srsly lol

      (I know this wasn’t helpful, I’m just making a point for the guys who are considering marriage. In all seriousness, it’s very easy to go from an open relationship to a monogamous one because that’s a sign that she’s winning you over and winning your commitment, but it’s VERY difficult to go from monogamy to open because she’ll interpret it as there being something lacking in the relationship that wasn’t lacking before, or that you’re getting bored with her or that in some way she’s losing you…so you’re kind of shit out of luck unless you don’t mind risking a divorce over pitching the idea of “I get to go out and fuck other women while you sit at home worrying about whether I’m going to come home or not”)



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 30, 2013 at 12:13 pm
Original Link

Gosh darnit, they don’t dig them because of the jerkiness. They dig the strength and strong sense of boundaries. A guy with a different set of boundaries just as strong would get the same tingles. It’s no accident that church women swoon for the passionate, upright pastor — he gives off that same strength.


  • YaReally
    on October 30, 2013 at 5:44 pm
    Original Link

    “they don’t dig them because of the jerkiness. They dig the strength and strong sense of boundaries.”

    “I’m sure men around would try to social pressure you and be like ‘wow you’re being a dick.’ Here’s the translation: you’re challenging my dominance, I’m feeling weak right now. You aren’t being a dick. You’re holding your frame and refusing to take shit.”

    This. 100%.

    Sadly, these days we are socially conditioned to believe that having boundaries and enforcing them is “jerkish” behavior, when really it’s just refusing to bend your principles despite the social pressure to do so. When you hold your frame, that’s attractive to women…their shit-tests are simply them trying to see if a silly little girl can make you uproot your principles and change your values, because if you crack under the pressure of some chick you don’t even know, how the fuck are you going to stand up to the rest of the world when shit gets real?

    More on having, establishing, and enforcing boundaries here:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/8/#comment-heartiste-463871



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 30, 2013 at 12:13 pm
Original Link

Gosh darnit, they don’t dig them because of the jerkiness. They dig the strength and strong sense of boundaries. A guy with a different set of boundaries just as strong would get the same tingles. It’s no accident that church women swoon for the passionate, upright pastor — he gives off that same strength.


  • YaReally
    on October 30, 2013 at 5:44 pm
    Original Link

    “they don’t dig them because of the jerkiness. They dig the strength and strong sense of boundaries.”

    “I’m sure men around would try to social pressure you and be like ‘wow you’re being a dick.’ Here’s the translation: you’re challenging my dominance, I’m feeling weak right now. You aren’t being a dick. You’re holding your frame and refusing to take shit.”

    This. 100%.

    Sadly, these days we are socially conditioned to believe that having boundaries and enforcing them is “jerkish” behavior, when really it’s just refusing to bend your principles despite the social pressure to do so. When you hold your frame, that’s attractive to women…their shit-tests are simply them trying to see if a silly little girl can make you uproot your principles and change your values, because if you crack under the pressure of some chick you don’t even know, how the fuck are you going to stand up to the rest of the world when shit gets real?

    More on having, establishing, and enforcing boundaries here:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/8/#comment-heartiste-463871



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

Gro Haila
on October 30, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Original Link

One of 3 billion (or is it 4 billion) hamsters sez:
And if a man ever lays a hand on me, I better see him as tougher than I am, or he’s going to regret it dearly.

That would be a beating woth administering. Seeing delusions fly out of hamster, one by one, blow by blow. The sex afterwards would be amazing, too.

Hamster made a funny!


  • Crazy Heart
    on October 30, 2013 at 1:20 pm
    Original Link

    It’s funny to me because all the men in my family are notorious women beater-beaters. I hate seeing a women hurt by a man (push or a slap is not what I mean), but it’s funny that it turns women on anyway.


    • Lara
      on October 30, 2013 at 1:31 pm
      Original Link

      It doesn’t turn us on. If Rubirosa was really the type of man, high quality women like, my guess is he didn’t hit women often. It’s very possible, once this woman found out about his cheating, she started hitting him.


      • Anonymous
        on October 30, 2013 at 6:42 pm
        Original Link

        It doesn’t turn us on.

        Of course it doesn’t. Just like cocky assholes, womanizers, and psychopaths are totally unattractive to you. All women (except for crazy whores, of course) really desire a sensitive nice guy who brings them flowers. That’s why this site exists, to teach men how to be nicer so that we can achieve the dream of lifetime monogamy.


        • Jay in DC
          on October 30, 2013 at 9:10 pm
          Original Link

          Anon— stop nigga… a caring, loving, FINANCIALLY SOUND, pro-tek-tah is what we want. That “confidence” which is attractive to all XX vag. Confidence means— ability to call you out instantly on your shrieking harpy demands, not respecting your feeeeeeeelllllings and unnnnnhappppiiiinesssss. Telling you that you are being absurd, you are entitled, and to shut the fuck up before I choke you out and then go fuck another girl who doesn’t have your issues.

          Like Lara said— What I described above NO WOMAN WANTS. They always know what they want, and always have. Be respectful at all times. Always be concerned about emotions and feelings. Always realize that they are the weaker sex, God’s lesser beings. They are always loving and caring and soft and cuddly. They cannot, will not, and have never done any wrong.

          Disregard all evidence to the contrary provided by The Bible, The Qu’ran, The Torah, and any Great Books for Men. These are lies of the patriarchy…


          • YaReally
            on October 31, 2013 at 12:20 pm
            Original Link

            “Confidence, in the arena of relationships, is the ability to act on your own beliefs and principles without fear of losing her. So, it’s not about disrespect or telling people you’ll choke them out. It’s more like ‘I demand these things and if these aren’t met, I’m out.’”

            This.


      • Jay in DC
        on October 30, 2013 at 9:41 pm
        Original Link

        Now being late in the evening and have a few drinks in me I’d love to turn you on. If you lived anywhere near DC I’d be more than willing to entertain your delusion. You would assume the moral high ground and draw a clear line in the sand about disgusting barbarism from an age of patriarchy and misogynism. Around that same moment, I’d flick open a 3 inch blade (LEGAL IN ALMOST ALL STATES!!!) against your likely soft and supple feminine throat. What is your play then??? Only a few options then, innit?

        1) Scream, call for help– it really doesn’t turn me oooooonnnnnnnn. Blade returns to safe places. People intervene— Are you ok?! What happened? Me-”I know, I just came out on this first date and experienced this craziness! Maybe post traumatic stress disorder from an attempted rape? I too generally hate men… I attend take back the night rallies because of this very thing that happens. Disgusting!!!” (Whispered to you— Next time, we will be MUCH farther away from any city, and your body can be dumped in the woods)

        2) We are away from society and civilization. I’m sorry I fucked that other girl but… she was hot. Ok keep hitting me, your blows are great to me. Your tears are delicious… cry MOAR.

        3) Totally premeditated– Spice Navigator style http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGqdE1NdMTg ‘I want you to kill all Alpha Predator men who are currently resisting. Surely you mean Duke Beta Atreidies?? No, I mean Paul Atriedes– I did not say this, I am not here…’ Spoken like any true http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apparatchik despite some horrific mutation where a mouth turns into a pussy.


        • YaReally
          on October 31, 2013 at 12:17 pm
          Original Link

          …wtf did I just read?



Alpha Of The Month: Porfirio Rubirosa

Original Link

via Heartiste

Gro Haila
on October 30, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Original Link

One of 3 billion (or is it 4 billion) hamsters sez:
And if a man ever lays a hand on me, I better see him as tougher than I am, or he’s going to regret it dearly.

That would be a beating woth administering. Seeing delusions fly out of hamster, one by one, blow by blow. The sex afterwards would be amazing, too.

Hamster made a funny!


  • Crazy Heart
    on October 30, 2013 at 1:20 pm
    Original Link

    It’s funny to me because all the men in my family are notorious women beater-beaters. I hate seeing a women hurt by a man (push or a slap is not what I mean), but it’s funny that it turns women on anyway.


    • YaReally
      on October 31, 2013 at 12:17 pm
      Original Link

      …wtf did I just read?


    • YaReally
      on October 31, 2013 at 12:20 pm
      Original Link

      “Confidence, in the arena of relationships, is the ability to act on your own beliefs and principles without fear of losing her. So, it’s not about disrespect or telling people you’ll choke them out. It’s more like ‘I demand these things and if these aren’t met, I’m out.’”

      This.



Flirting Trumps Looks

Original Link

via Heartiste

dannyfrom504
on October 29, 2013 at 9:19 am
Original Link

i have the sex appeal of stomach cancer but i can flirt like a champ. looks matter more to men than woman. man validate by what they see, i’ll STILL keep chomping at the bit until i get the +1 DESPITE her personality.

it’s the opposite for women. they’re indifferent to looks, but fall for character, boldness, confidence, strength, and charm. that’s all game is btw: CHARM.

i get away with shit many guys just can’t understand how i can pull off. it’s simply knowing how to flirt. married women, single women, women in relationships; i flirt with them all.

that way, when i run across one i want, it’s effortless.


  • RP
    on October 29, 2013 at 4:35 pm
    Original Link

    While that is true, know that all else being equal, any woman will choose a good looking man over an ugly one.

    It’s not that looks matter much. It’s just that your own attitude towards your body matters. For instance, I don’t wear those skinny jeans and I don’t have the six pack. But I don’t have rolls of fat either. What I do have are muscles strong ones. Built over time with lifting of weights, punching bags, and throwing heavy stones over distances.


    • YaReally
      on October 29, 2013 at 4:49 pm
      Original Link

      “know that all else being equal, any woman will choose a good looking man over an ugly one.”

      All else is NEVER equal.

      The concept of “what if two guys had the exact same level of game but one was tall/handsome/ripped and the other was short/ugly/fat? THEN WHAT??” is mental masturbation. It doesn’t happen. In every group there’s always one guy who’s 1% better than the guys around him…it might be fleeting and it might change depending on everyone’s state or the people involved or the environment etc., but it’s never equal so this is 100% irrelevant.

      (and when you DO get extremely close to equal, generally what happens is that girls will flirt with both of you because they’re happy getting either of you, or will want to fuck you both at the same time lol I had a better looking taller buddy who, for a few months of our time gaming together, our game skills/value became extremely close, and we ran into this an abnormal amount of times during that period…it was puzzling at first, but it makes sense: the girls’ hypergamy says “both of these guys are better than all the other guys, so whichever one you get is A-OK!” the same way guys would be happy getting either a 10 brunette or a 10 blonde if they were in a 2-set lol)


      • blotter
        on October 29, 2013 at 11:24 pm
        Original Link

        Sorry that this is offtopic, I’m a lurker but really wanted to take a chance to thank you, YaReally. I’m basically an omega male in my late 20s, only been with one girl, met her online and she initiated it lol. Partly due to blue pill social conditioning and partly due to crippling self-esteem, depression, social anxiety type shit. I was way overweight in high school, spergy INTJ ADD kind of personality, was completely asexual and invisible to girls so I just poured myself into videogames. I dropped out of college so I never got that experience at all.

        Within the past couple years I’ve turned it around, losing the weight, getting some basic style or at least wearing shit that fits, getting proficient in martial arts/combat sports to develop that kind of confidence. I’m still trying to figure out what i want for a career and I am working past the shame and guilt or whatever and accepting that its ok to have sexual desires lol. It’s really about self improvement and becoming a complete actualized person in all areas.

        I knew about pickup for a few years but never really wanted to accept it. That was the blue pill working. Stumbled on CH and Rational Male a month or two ago and stayed up many nights pouring through the archives, my mind being blown over and over lol. Still kind of resistant to it though, men really are the true romantics. Then I read your archives all the way through and all the ideas and concepts you conveyed have really started to sink in and click, I had so many moments at like 4am reading your shit in the dark, too excited to stop and go to sleep, where I was laughing maniacally at how your insights were explaining shit i had never understood so easily, those puzzle piece moments you talk about.

        anyway, I haven’t built up to cold approaching yet, but I’m going out a lot in the day and forcing myself to make and hold eye contact with people, talking to clerks etc, occasional older people or guys lol. Getting out of my comfort zone, building up positive reference experiences to keep pushing farther. Actually saw a lot of success incorporating alpha traits and game concepts into my interactions at work, the only place I ever get to talk to women. Blew my mind when I realized I was prompting them to shit test me and actually making them attracted by passing the tests and practicing some kino.

        GODDAMN this got way too long, and also its probably the most gushing, fanboyish thing i’ve ever written haha. Just wanted you to know your efforts on here are having a positive effect on people out in the world. I’m really going to try and develop this skillset and a more positive mindset, to believe I can live a life that I deserve. cheers!


        • YaReally
          on October 30, 2013 at 12:05 am
          Original Link

          @blotter

          Props on handling your life. Comments like this are why I schedule my time and priorities to be able to write as much as I do. When I was where you are, some kind people helped me out and my life now is something I couldn’t have even imagined was possible back then…it was something from movies or that other guys who were just born lucky got to have.

          You’ll go through highs and lows on your journey, and overall this’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in your life…but the rewards will be worth it one day.

          Don’t beat yourself up if it takes a while. You’re digging out of a hole and re-wiring conditioning that society will keep trying to wire back in place…it’s not an overnight thing. Every second you hold eye contact, every time you crack a joke to a store clerk, every random person who’s life you add a little value to, it’s all baby-steps of progress.

          Understand that as helpful as my writing has been, YOU are the one who’s responsible for turning your life around. You’re the one taking action day to day and slowly taking control of your life back from society and social conditioning. That’s something you should be extremely proud of.

          Most people spend their lives simply pinging off their environment and using movies, videogames, reality TV, etc. to escape their unsatisfactory lives while they simply wait to die. You’re doing something with your life that most people don’t have the drive to even attempt. Stick with it, it all just gets better and better…you’ve got a solid *20 YEARS* of a new life ahead of you. That’s like getting all the time you’ve had from 10 years old till now all over again. That’s practically a second life, but lived on YOUR terms this time.

          Here’s Tyler talking about celebrating the little victories, starting at 1:51 in this vid:

          “I’m really going to try and develop this skillset and a more positive mindset, to believe I can live a life that I deserve.”

          With this attitude, you’ll be just fine. :) Good luck!


      • RP
        on October 30, 2013 at 7:31 am
        Original Link

        @YaReally

        Did you miss the part where I said, “It’s not that looks matter much. It’s just that your own attitude towards your body matters”?


        • YaReally
          on October 30, 2013 at 8:52 am
          Original Link

          Nope. I was just addressing the nonsense “fact” in your first paragraph.


          • YaReally
            on October 31, 2013 at 10:06 am
            Original Link

            I don’t like the spread of misinformation that helps guys re-enforce their socially conditioned excuses to not try. Even as a joke, there are guys who will read that and not have the experience to understand its a joke and will instead go “see, I KNEW it!” and act like that Patrice guy. I DO take that seriously.

            It’s nothing personal…I’d call it out even if CH himself said it.


          • YaReally
            on October 31, 2013 at 2:53 pm
            Original Link

            He should take care of himself because he cares about himself and for his own health/longevity (and so he can fuck proper), not because he thinks girls will choose a hotter guy over him. And he should make socializing and approaching women a high priority and find time to do it regularly even if that means slower gains at the gym because he only goes 3 nights a week instead of 7.

            There will always be a guy hotter, more jacked, or richer than you. It’s not a game you can win and you shouldn’t be in it for the wrong reasons, like thinking “if I just get my bodyfat % down low enough THEN I can get girls!!!”

            Or, to return the favor of exaggerating my example into a ridiculous extreme, do you recommend that guys base their entire self worth on their body-fat % and never go out and socialize or talk to women and just spend their lives in the gym and at work banking $ and getting more ripped so that they can feel like they’re worth something as a man based on whether a woman approves of them or not?

            Of course you don’t recommend that, because that would be self-destructive.



Flirting Trumps Looks

Original Link

via Heartiste

dannyfrom504
on October 29, 2013 at 9:19 am
Original Link

i have the sex appeal of stomach cancer but i can flirt like a champ. looks matter more to men than woman. man validate by what they see, i’ll STILL keep chomping at the bit until i get the +1 DESPITE her personality.

it’s the opposite for women. they’re indifferent to looks, but fall for character, boldness, confidence, strength, and charm. that’s all game is btw: CHARM.

i get away with shit many guys just can’t understand how i can pull off. it’s simply knowing how to flirt. married women, single women, women in relationships; i flirt with them all.

that way, when i run across one i want, it’s effortless.


  • RP
    on October 29, 2013 at 4:35 pm
    Original Link

    While that is true, know that all else being equal, any woman will choose a good looking man over an ugly one.

    It’s not that looks matter much. It’s just that your own attitude towards your body matters. For instance, I don’t wear those skinny jeans and I don’t have the six pack. But I don’t have rolls of fat either. What I do have are muscles strong ones. Built over time with lifting of weights, punching bags, and throwing heavy stones over distances.


    • YaReally
      on October 29, 2013 at 4:49 pm
      Original Link

      “know that all else being equal, any woman will choose a good looking man over an ugly one.”

      All else is NEVER equal.

      The concept of “what if two guys had the exact same level of game but one was tall/handsome/ripped and the other was short/ugly/fat? THEN WHAT??” is mental masturbation. It doesn’t happen. In every group there’s always one guy who’s 1% better than the guys around him…it might be fleeting and it might change depending on everyone’s state or the people involved or the environment etc., but it’s never equal so this is 100% irrelevant.

      (and when you DO get extremely close to equal, generally what happens is that girls will flirt with both of you because they’re happy getting either of you, or will want to fuck you both at the same time lol I had a better looking taller buddy who, for a few months of our time gaming together, our game skills/value became extremely close, and we ran into this an abnormal amount of times during that period…it was puzzling at first, but it makes sense: the girls’ hypergamy says “both of these guys are better than all the other guys, so whichever one you get is A-OK!” the same way guys would be happy getting either a 10 brunette or a 10 blonde if they were in a 2-set lol)


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 12:05 am
      Original Link

      @blotter

      Props on handling your life. Comments like this are why I schedule my time and priorities to be able to write as much as I do. When I was where you are, some kind people helped me out and my life now is something I couldn’t have even imagined was possible back then…it was something from movies or that other guys who were just born lucky got to have.

      You’ll go through highs and lows on your journey, and overall this’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in your life…but the rewards will be worth it one day.

      Don’t beat yourself up if it takes a while. You’re digging out of a hole and re-wiring conditioning that society will keep trying to wire back in place…it’s not an overnight thing. Every second you hold eye contact, every time you crack a joke to a store clerk, every random person who’s life you add a little value to, it’s all baby-steps of progress.

      Understand that as helpful as my writing has been, YOU are the one who’s responsible for turning your life around. You’re the one taking action day to day and slowly taking control of your life back from society and social conditioning. That’s something you should be extremely proud of.

      Most people spend their lives simply pinging off their environment and using movies, videogames, reality TV, etc. to escape their unsatisfactory lives while they simply wait to die. You’re doing something with your life that most people don’t have the drive to even attempt. Stick with it, it all just gets better and better…you’ve got a solid *20 YEARS* of a new life ahead of you. That’s like getting all the time you’ve had from 10 years old till now all over again. That’s practically a second life, but lived on YOUR terms this time.

      Here’s Tyler talking about celebrating the little victories, starting at 1:51 in this vid:

      “I’m really going to try and develop this skillset and a more positive mindset, to believe I can live a life that I deserve.”

      With this attitude, you’ll be just fine. :) Good luck!


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 8:52 am
      Original Link

      Nope. I was just addressing the nonsense “fact” in your first paragraph.


    • YaReally
      on October 31, 2013 at 10:06 am
      Original Link

      I don’t like the spread of misinformation that helps guys re-enforce their socially conditioned excuses to not try. Even as a joke, there are guys who will read that and not have the experience to understand its a joke and will instead go “see, I KNEW it!” and act like that Patrice guy. I DO take that seriously.

      It’s nothing personal…I’d call it out even if CH himself said it.


    • YaReally
      on October 31, 2013 at 2:53 pm
      Original Link

      He should take care of himself because he cares about himself and for his own health/longevity (and so he can fuck proper), not because he thinks girls will choose a hotter guy over him. And he should make socializing and approaching women a high priority and find time to do it regularly even if that means slower gains at the gym because he only goes 3 nights a week instead of 7.

      There will always be a guy hotter, more jacked, or richer than you. It’s not a game you can win and you shouldn’t be in it for the wrong reasons, like thinking “if I just get my bodyfat % down low enough THEN I can get girls!!!”

      Or, to return the favor of exaggerating my example into a ridiculous extreme, do you recommend that guys base their entire self worth on their body-fat % and never go out and socialize or talk to women and just spend their lives in the gym and at work banking $ and getting more ripped so that they can feel like they’re worth something as a man based on whether a woman approves of them or not?

      Of course you don’t recommend that, because that would be self-destructive.



Flirting Trumps Looks

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 29, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Original Link

I’d say you can whittle down a lot of game to that single commandment. Courage, boldness, etc. Never act out of fear — it’s a difficult thing to do though. I still struggle…because the better things get, the more you have to lose. I’m going to have a tough time when I get back to the sarge because now I have this mental image of me with women…and I know it’s going to be completely shit-kicked.


  • YaReally
    on October 30, 2013 at 7:45 am
    Original Link

    @Scray

    Just wanted to link some related inspirational real-talk from Tyler on breakups and having to end shit with girls you like:


    • Scray
      on October 30, 2013 at 2:31 pm
      Original Link

      This is a great vid. I’m gonna take it slow, tho. I’ve just been having a weird time with these girls. Last night the 6 broke down and admitted she loved me….and I mean, wtf do I do with that? I’m emotionally drained. And then I just feel like the 7is gonna wanna a full commitment any day now. That 7.5 I hooked up with awhile ago is hot but she’s so mannish. Yck. I’d hate to be left with just her.

      If I keep it up, I’ll end up right back where I started a year ago — with no one lol.


      • YaReally
        on October 30, 2013 at 6:31 pm
        Original Link

        @Scray
        Just a heads-up: It’s gonna get even worse over the next few months, especially if you live in an area that gets a snowy winter.

        There’s a chain of holidays coming up that often force relationships to escalate. Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Years, valentines day, and Easter…god forbid your girl have her birthday somewhere in that timeframe TOO.

        Each of those holidays involves stuff like family dinners, office parties, partner-required events (new years kiss, v-day flowers) where the girl is socially pressured about being single still. That’s where she brings up that she’s seeing this Scray guy. And that’s where her friends, family, TV commercials, etc convince her that you’re no good because you won’t commit and that you’re just using her.

        This forces her to drop the “I love you too much, we have to either be in a relationship or end things because it hurts too much” Ultimatum on you a lot faster than if none of those holidays existed.

        So a girl who’s already falling in love will only fall more in love over the next few months.

        This is all extra-enhanced by snow, where the girl is cooped up indoors and doesn’t meet anyone new and basically just has all her hopes pinned on you coming around to committing to her.

        Figuring out how you want to manage this time of the year will be important long-term:

        - Some guys like myself try to keep their relationships so casual that the girls don’t expect any of that from them…as winter approaches I’ll actively start seeing the girl every 2 weeks instead of every week like in the summer. This method runs the risk of losing her to some other guy who’s orbiter-chasing her because she doesn’t necessarily want HIM more, she wants a date for these events and to bring home to her family etc and that guy is offering that while I’m not.

        - Another method is to just vanish all winter. Make up excuses for being “out of town” during key holidays etc even if you’re sitting at home in your underwear lol.

        - In a similar vein you could go completely radio silent and off the grid and just not see her all winter, which would mean a lot of porn and your palm for you thru the winter

        - Another method is picking one and making her your GF for the winter with the intention of breaking it off in the summer. I’ve tried this twice and ended up with an LTR GF twice because I was too chickenshit to break things off lol so I stopped doing this method and switched to the 2 week casual thing

        - If you want to play some psychological warfare, you can pick a fight with the girl and break up with her completely unfairly right before this season so that she spends all winter thinking about you and missing you and wanting you back esp since its too cold out to go meet other guys

        With all of these methods, you can renew the relationship in the spring/summer if you want. Even if you vanish for a few months you can just go “hey” and re-stoke the flames. With the breaking up situ you just tell her you overreacted and missed her and want to try again. Etc etc.

        So you can get back to “single and playing the field and banging your FBs” eventually (tho you may lose them if they happen to meet someone in the winter but that’s pretty rare…new years is the only real “party and meet dudes” holiday out of that list…hell if you ignored all the other holidays and JUST hung out New Years you’d pretty much guarantee she doesn’t meet any other guys over the winter).

        The only catch with all of this will be your own feelings for the girls. You’re gonna like some of these girls and not want to see them less. And you’re gonna be in a more scarcity-based mindset because it’s cold and lonely when you’re spending Xmas all alone without a girl curled up to you and hot chocolate and all that awesome gay shit that TV commercials are showing you all thru December. So then the “make one my GF” option will seem appealing but that option comes with “go to her family Xmas dinner and pretend you care about her more than you actually do” type stuff and I hate that shit myself…plus you may develop deeper feelings for a non-high-quality girl just by being cooped up with her and spending time together that you wouldn’t have developed if you were able to play the field more.

        So your emotions will pull you in a bunch of different directions. It’ll probably take you a few winters to figure out how to handle all this. You’re gonna break some hearts and you’re gonna feel the stint of loneliness. XMas week, especially, is the loneliest time of the year for a player…you can’t even go out and meet girls because everyone is on vacation and with family etc. so you’re stuck just cooped up thinking “fuck this is lonely :(

        But then spring comes around and you go “fuck ya I love being single!!!” lol

        Anyway, just warning you in advance what you’re in for. Try to strike a balance between not doing too much damage to the girls (in your defense it’s not entirely your fault if you break their heart because its the season that’s escalating things that otherwise wouldn’t have escalated so fast, so you’re having your hand forced), and not doing too much damage to yourself mentally lol


        • Hunter
          on October 30, 2013 at 10:21 pm
          Original Link

          Great so… it’s gonna be even harder to learn game over the winter then… I mean, it’s not like the clubs and bars will be empty… I hope.


          • YaReally
            on October 31, 2013 at 1:58 am
            Original Link

            “Great so… it’s gonna be even harder to learn game over the winter then…”

            Yup. The winter weeds out the guys who want it from the dabblers. :) When I started out I waited in knee-deep falling snow for the bus to get downtown to the bars just for the chance to go out solo and get a few approaches in. The whole walk thru dirty downtown slush as I went bar to bar passing freezing people on the street who had NO desire to stop and talk to a stranger no matter how charming he was, all I could think of was how much easier it’d be if I lived somewhere with warm weather year-round. But you do what you gotta do.

            “I mean, it’s not like the clubs and bars will be empty… I hope.”

            Reframe it this way: only the hardcore partiers and girls dying to get laid will be out. The taken girls will be staying at home warm and curled up with their boyfriends instead of going out into the cold to the bar. So when you get to the bar, every girl there is looking to find a dude to fuck so she doesn’t have to drag herself out in the cold to the bar next weekend. :)

            Also crashing office xmas parties you stumble across is always fun.

            There’s a reason a lot of the oldschool pros (Tyler, Mystery, Cajun, etc) were from Canada. Combine the snow in Toronto with the bitchy attitudes of the women there and you pretty quickly weed out who really wants it.



Flirting Trumps Looks

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 29, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Original Link

I’d say you can whittle down a lot of game to that single commandment. Courage, boldness, etc. Never act out of fear — it’s a difficult thing to do though. I still struggle…because the better things get, the more you have to lose. I’m going to have a tough time when I get back to the sarge because now I have this mental image of me with women…and I know it’s going to be completely shit-kicked.


  • YaReally
    on October 30, 2013 at 7:45 am
    Original Link

    @Scray

    Just wanted to link some related inspirational real-talk from Tyler on breakups and having to end shit with girls you like:


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 6:31 pm
      Original Link

      @Scray
      Just a heads-up: It’s gonna get even worse over the next few months, especially if you live in an area that gets a snowy winter.

      There’s a chain of holidays coming up that often force relationships to escalate. Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Years, valentines day, and Easter…god forbid your girl have her birthday somewhere in that timeframe TOO.

      Each of those holidays involves stuff like family dinners, office parties, partner-required events (new years kiss, v-day flowers) where the girl is socially pressured about being single still. That’s where she brings up that she’s seeing this Scray guy. And that’s where her friends, family, TV commercials, etc convince her that you’re no good because you won’t commit and that you’re just using her.

      This forces her to drop the “I love you too much, we have to either be in a relationship or end things because it hurts too much” Ultimatum on you a lot faster than if none of those holidays existed.

      So a girl who’s already falling in love will only fall more in love over the next few months.

      This is all extra-enhanced by snow, where the girl is cooped up indoors and doesn’t meet anyone new and basically just has all her hopes pinned on you coming around to committing to her.

      Figuring out how you want to manage this time of the year will be important long-term:

      – Some guys like myself try to keep their relationships so casual that the girls don’t expect any of that from them…as winter approaches I’ll actively start seeing the girl every 2 weeks instead of every week like in the summer. This method runs the risk of losing her to some other guy who’s orbiter-chasing her because she doesn’t necessarily want HIM more, she wants a date for these events and to bring home to her family etc and that guy is offering that while I’m not.

      – Another method is to just vanish all winter. Make up excuses for being “out of town” during key holidays etc even if you’re sitting at home in your underwear lol.

      – In a similar vein you could go completely radio silent and off the grid and just not see her all winter, which would mean a lot of porn and your palm for you thru the winter

      – Another method is picking one and making her your GF for the winter with the intention of breaking it off in the summer. I’ve tried this twice and ended up with an LTR GF twice because I was too chickenshit to break things off lol so I stopped doing this method and switched to the 2 week casual thing

      – If you want to play some psychological warfare, you can pick a fight with the girl and break up with her completely unfairly right before this season so that she spends all winter thinking about you and missing you and wanting you back esp since its too cold out to go meet other guys

      With all of these methods, you can renew the relationship in the spring/summer if you want. Even if you vanish for a few months you can just go “hey” and re-stoke the flames. With the breaking up situ you just tell her you overreacted and missed her and want to try again. Etc etc.

      So you can get back to “single and playing the field and banging your FBs” eventually (tho you may lose them if they happen to meet someone in the winter but that’s pretty rare…new years is the only real “party and meet dudes” holiday out of that list…hell if you ignored all the other holidays and JUST hung out New Years you’d pretty much guarantee she doesn’t meet any other guys over the winter).

      The only catch with all of this will be your own feelings for the girls. You’re gonna like some of these girls and not want to see them less. And you’re gonna be in a more scarcity-based mindset because it’s cold and lonely when you’re spending Xmas all alone without a girl curled up to you and hot chocolate and all that awesome gay shit that TV commercials are showing you all thru December. So then the “make one my GF” option will seem appealing but that option comes with “go to her family Xmas dinner and pretend you care about her more than you actually do” type stuff and I hate that shit myself…plus you may develop deeper feelings for a non-high-quality girl just by being cooped up with her and spending time together that you wouldn’t have developed if you were able to play the field more.

      So your emotions will pull you in a bunch of different directions. It’ll probably take you a few winters to figure out how to handle all this. You’re gonna break some hearts and you’re gonna feel the stint of loneliness. XMas week, especially, is the loneliest time of the year for a player…you can’t even go out and meet girls because everyone is on vacation and with family etc. so you’re stuck just cooped up thinking “fuck this is lonely :(”

      But then spring comes around and you go “fuck ya I love being single!!!” lol

      Anyway, just warning you in advance what you’re in for. Try to strike a balance between not doing too much damage to the girls (in your defense it’s not entirely your fault if you break their heart because its the season that’s escalating things that otherwise wouldn’t have escalated so fast, so you’re having your hand forced), and not doing too much damage to yourself mentally lol


    • YaReally
      on October 31, 2013 at 1:58 am
      Original Link

      “Great so… it’s gonna be even harder to learn game over the winter then…”

      Yup. The winter weeds out the guys who want it from the dabblers. :) When I started out I waited in knee-deep falling snow for the bus to get downtown to the bars just for the chance to go out solo and get a few approaches in. The whole walk thru dirty downtown slush as I went bar to bar passing freezing people on the street who had NO desire to stop and talk to a stranger no matter how charming he was, all I could think of was how much easier it’d be if I lived somewhere with warm weather year-round. But you do what you gotta do.

      “I mean, it’s not like the clubs and bars will be empty… I hope.”

      Reframe it this way: only the hardcore partiers and girls dying to get laid will be out. The taken girls will be staying at home warm and curled up with their boyfriends instead of going out into the cold to the bar. So when you get to the bar, every girl there is looking to find a dude to fuck so she doesn’t have to drag herself out in the cold to the bar next weekend. :)

      Also crashing office xmas parties you stumble across is always fun.

      There’s a reason a lot of the oldschool pros (Tyler, Mystery, Cajun, etc) were from Canada. Combine the snow in Toronto with the bitchy attitudes of the women there and you pretty quickly weed out who really wants it.



Flirting Trumps Looks

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on October 30, 2013 at 12:22 am
Original Link

If I touched a girl in a friendly manner while trying to flirt with her, she would scream like a Ted Bundy victim, I’d instantly freak out non-verbally, the crowd around us would notice, and then I’d be embarrassed, turn beet red, and then get the fuck out of there while hearing mocking laughter or gasps of fear, as if a deranged psycho in their cozy little midst was suddenly ‘exposed’ for who he really was.

This is why I don’t hit on girls, because I am always trying to pass myself off as normal when in fact I am not. Trying and failing with girls at my age (30s+) essentially exposes myself to the world as a creepy, needy, desperate insane human being.

Fuck this fucking game. Really, fuck all you normal people. Be lucky you weren’t abused as a child like I was. No one was ever there for me when I needed it. Nobody. Be glad you had fucking parents or at least someone who loved you.


  • YaReally
    on October 30, 2013 at 7:28 am
    Original Link

    “No one was ever there for me when I needed it. Nobody. Be glad you had fucking parents or at least someone who loved you.”

    Everyone here would SUPPORT you if you were working on yourself, but you’re the only one here who can FIX you.

    None of us can do it for you and none of us will support your victim-mentality because you are not a special snowflake, we’ve all had to work thru our own harships in life. You can too, but not like this.

    You were offered help and some suggestions to get started in response to your first post. Take them, or don’t be surprised when people stop wasting their time trying to help a guy who doesn’t want to help himself…then you can add “those big jerks in the Manosphere are all assholes and were mean to me” to your victim-identity and keep making external excuses instead of taking action.


    • Lily
      on October 30, 2013 at 12:13 pm
      Original Link

      LOL. He’s a troll. Who writes something as vivid as this when he’s supposedly in mental anguish:

      “If I touched a girl in a friendly manner while trying to flirt with her, she would scream like a Ted Bundy victim,”

      For better or worse, it’s hilarious.

      Sounds a little like Tom the Democrat, though.


      • YaReally
        on October 30, 2013 at 12:17 pm
        Original Link

        I figure troll but also figure there may be other guys lurking reading who need some motivation. I just hate to see a bunch of us waste a bunch of energy on either a troll or a guy who wants to piss n moan all over the comment section. If dude is legit, he’s been provided with enough help to get started already.



Flirting Trumps Looks

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on October 30, 2013 at 12:22 am
Original Link

If I touched a girl in a friendly manner while trying to flirt with her, she would scream like a Ted Bundy victim, I’d instantly freak out non-verbally, the crowd around us would notice, and then I’d be embarrassed, turn beet red, and then get the fuck out of there while hearing mocking laughter or gasps of fear, as if a deranged psycho in their cozy little midst was suddenly ‘exposed’ for who he really was.

This is why I don’t hit on girls, because I am always trying to pass myself off as normal when in fact I am not. Trying and failing with girls at my age (30s+) essentially exposes myself to the world as a creepy, needy, desperate insane human being.

Fuck this fucking game. Really, fuck all you normal people. Be lucky you weren’t abused as a child like I was. No one was ever there for me when I needed it. Nobody. Be glad you had fucking parents or at least someone who loved you.


  • YaReally
    on October 30, 2013 at 7:28 am
    Original Link

    “No one was ever there for me when I needed it. Nobody. Be glad you had fucking parents or at least someone who loved you.”

    Everyone here would SUPPORT you if you were working on yourself, but you’re the only one here who can FIX you.

    None of us can do it for you and none of us will support your victim-mentality because you are not a special snowflake, we’ve all had to work thru our own harships in life. You can too, but not like this.

    You were offered help and some suggestions to get started in response to your first post. Take them, or don’t be surprised when people stop wasting their time trying to help a guy who doesn’t want to help himself…then you can add “those big jerks in the Manosphere are all assholes and were mean to me” to your victim-identity and keep making external excuses instead of taking action.


    • YaReally
      on October 30, 2013 at 12:17 pm
      Original Link

      I figure troll but also figure there may be other guys lurking reading who need some motivation. I just hate to see a bunch of us waste a bunch of energy on either a troll or a guy who wants to piss n moan all over the comment section. If dude is legit, he’s been provided with enough help to get started already.



That Sinking Feeling

Original Link

via Heartiste

Kim du Toit
on October 28, 2013 at 10:40 am
Original Link

“Leave.”

Best advice you’ve ever given on this website. Don’t play the competition game with a woman looking elsewhere. Would you get into a fistfight with another man over her? Of course not.

Once she’s declared that “you’re the one” (i.e. her boyfriend/date for the night), her looking at another man is either a shit test (leave) or she’s actively looking for your substitute (leave).


  • Heywood Jablome
    on October 28, 2013 at 11:05 am
    Original Link

    I once offered to introduce the girl to the object of her attention. She was instantly apologetic & submissive.


    • Zombie Shane
      on October 28, 2013 at 2:31 pm
      Original Link

      > “That Sinking Feeling”

      I gotta be honest with you – I have never had that sinking feeling.

      In fact, my visceral reaction has always been to think to myself, “Thank God I had a chance to see what a filthy stinking whore she really was – before I had made the mistake of getting involved with her more seriously.”

      > “Leave.”

      Also great advice.

      Just leave.

      The only big caveat here would be if you drove her to the function yourself.

      Then you still have the moral obligation [whether you like it or not] to make sure that she gets home safely, without being brutally raped and ax-murdered by roving feral Sons of Obama.

      In which case, you can walk up to Mr Big Shot, and slip him $40 [or $60 or $80 or whatever would be appropriate for your zip code] and tell him, “You own the situation now, dude; here’s some cab fare, so as to make sure that she gets home safely. Adios. I’m outta here.”


      • walawala
        on October 28, 2013 at 6:20 pm
        Original Link

        Completely wrong and not “game”…this is butt-hurt. By approaching him you would you RAISE the other guy’s value by slipping him any amount of money. You would be “beta provider” chump by even suggesting a ride home of any kind. Leaving or better yet leaving with someone else would create dread.

        I’m now practicing this. It doesn’t work to the exact script that is in the original post, but the girl I’m doing this with is flipping out….I know this because she’s crying, she’s posting nonsense on Facebook alluding to either deliberately not caring about me or pretending to be happy—over-acting.

        I’m still mid-way through my own transition but what you suggest is creating drama.

        In my understanding of game the pua/MAN is to avoid the over communication and strive for “covert” communication. Leaving or better yet “disappearing” creates mystery. Mystery gets hamster spinning. Hamster spinning creates attraction.


        • YaReally
          on October 29, 2013 at 6:42 am
          Original Link

          I’m busy with Halloween shit this week but:

          “I’m now practicing this. It doesn’t work to the exact script that is in the original post, but the girl I’m doing this with is flipping out….I know this because she’s crying, she’s posting nonsense on Facebook alluding to either deliberately not caring about me or pretending to be happy—over-acting.”

          Just a reminder: this is all on track. Remember, you don’t take her back until she gives up. All of this over-acting “whatever I love my grrrlz men are stupid YOLO” stuff is just her hamster going haywire trying anything and everything to get you to react in some way.

          She’s still too in love with you to even consider seriously being with some other dude. 5 Minutes of Alpha and all that, so there’s no risk of her updating FB with “in love with (some other dude)” and you not being able to get her back easily. I could txt any of my exes from years ago in whatever relationship they’re in and they would come back to me without hesitation. That’s just the power of being attractive/alpha to her.

          In fact she MIGHT bang some other dude or post FB pics of her with some guy cuddling and posting all “so in loooove with my new man!!” but even THAT is just part of her hamster trying to get you to react. Any guy she gets with simply won’t have the ability to build as strong a connection with her as you had, in a short time-frame.

          So you’re doing good. It’s hard, but trust the psychology and stay the course. If you take her back while she’s going haywire, you reward her drama behavior and teach her that “starting drama WILL work, I just have to start ENOUGH of it” and set up a terrible long-term pattern that will escalate because next time you fight and she’s in the wrong and you need a break and ignore her even when she gets to this level of behavior, she’ll just escalate her behavior to an even HIGHER level because you taught her that “sooner or later, it’ll work”

          When she’s given up and truly thinks you won’t react anymore, and goes silent again, that’s web you can re-establish contact and allow her back. Note the wording there: not GET her back, ALLOW her back. This should be your frame.

          When you do let her back in, you can even tell her during cuddle talk after the make-up sex “I missed you, but when you were spazzing out like that, I didn’t want you back in my life because I don’t like drama. And all I could think was “I wish she would calm down and quit acting out so I could let her back into my life…”" That kind of thing 1) builds the relationship back cause you’re showing you missed her when she had given up, and 2) makes her know that it was her behavior that was unacceptable and keeping her out of your life, so in the future she knows that that behavior will result in punishment and ideally learn to avoid it.

          Good luck, just wanted to drop some support in cause I know this stage is rough. I’ll respond to your other post about caring about women when I have more time, but your “I thank everyone who helped” text was solid…aloof but keeping the line of communication open. Initially when she acts up you go full radio silence. But as she starts to accept that you might really be gone, you still allow communication, you just take away the good feelings from it.

          It’s like Mystery’s freeze out technique with a girl giving LMR. He’s not mad at her, he simply turns on the lights and pulls out a chess board to play with her. He’s not being actively mean, he’s simply removing the good feelings and validation she was getting, until she fixes her behavior. She’s free to keep in touch with him etc but she won’t get those good feelings back until she quits with the nonsense behaviors. But that initial couple weeks needs radio silence partly to send a blunt shock to her and partly to give YOU time to build up some resilience and fortify your emotions for the upcoming weeks as the dynamic goes through the stages of a Soft Next.

          You’re doin’ good, keep it up. When she gives up, you can re-initiate things on your terms.



That Sinking Feeling

Original Link

via Heartiste

Simon Corso
on October 28, 2013 at 11:31 am
Original Link

A little over 3 years ago, I was just staring to learn about game, and rebounding after the end of 5 year relationship. Long story short, I ended up on a date with a 23 year old.

We exchanged some ( safe/boring beta) small talk, ordered drinks, then she pulls out her phone and delves into her social media whore-a-thon. Two minutes I sat there staring at her and glancing around the room. Another minute passed, I got up and left without excusing myself. Drove home.

I’d been gone about 15 minutes when she sent the first text.

“U still in the bathroom? ”

3 minutes later

” The ice n ur drink is melting. ”

4 more minutes

” srsly WTF ??? ”

10 minutes after that.

” ur car is gone , not funny !! ”

” I need a ride , u coming back ? ”

Finally I responded

” maybe ur phone can buy u dinner and give u a ride home . ”

Needless to say I didn’t get the lay, but the point is, I’ve always known when to walk away.

Kinda reminds me of that old Kenny Rogers song.


  • corvinus
    on October 28, 2013 at 12:12 pm
    Original Link

    Finally I responded

    ” maybe ur phone can buy u dinner and give u a ride home . ”

    Sounds butthurt. Complete radio silence until she apologizes would have been better.


    • A Random Guy
      on October 28, 2013 at 12:43 pm
      Original Link

      Not sure I agree. Not like he was whining or anything. Problem with radio silence is she might be clueless enough not to know what she did wrong. Granted you can argue that isn’t his problem to fix, but who knows, might get her to treat the next guy with more respect.


      • YaReally
        on October 29, 2013 at 7:03 am
        Original Link

        “Problem with radio silence is she might be clueless enough not to know what she did wrong.”

        This. Part of a Soft Next is that she has to know what line she crossed. You don’t just punish your kid randomly, you let him know why he’s being punished so he knows how to avoid the punishment in the future…otherwise it’s just random and crazy and fixes nothing. The goal is training her behavior, not passive-aggressively punishing her for shit she doesn’t realize is wrong.

        This was handled awesomely. I lol’ed at her txts. And the “maybe your phone” txt lets her know the reason for the punishment.

        The only thing I would change would be warning her up front first about the phone. Like as she’s doing it, say “it’s rude to txt while you’re at dinner, were you raised by wolves?” Then if she continues, you execute exactly as done here. By warning her of the line in advance, she knows that she’s crossing the line when she does it so she can’t play the “you’re overreacting, I didn’t know you’d get so butt-hurt god” card because you established your rule and are now simply enforcing it.

        Often they’ll whine about it but you keep the Soft Next going and ignore her until she turns her behavior around and apologizes and in the end she’ll respect you for having rules/standards and not being afraid to lay down authority like her father would. That tells her that if you can handle HER bullshit, which 99% of guys would let her get away with, you will be a rock solid oak tree against the world she could rely on if you were in a relationship together.

        Of course the rub is that by the time she quits spazzing and calms down and apologizes, she may have demonstrated enough shitty behavior that you don’t WANT her back lol



That Sinking Feeling

Original Link

via Heartiste

Kim du Toit
on October 28, 2013 at 10:40 am
Original Link

“Leave.”

Best advice you’ve ever given on this website. Don’t play the competition game with a woman looking elsewhere. Would you get into a fistfight with another man over her? Of course not.

Once she’s declared that “you’re the one” (i.e. her boyfriend/date for the night), her looking at another man is either a shit test (leave) or she’s actively looking for your substitute (leave).


  • Heywood Jablome
    on October 28, 2013 at 11:05 am
    Original Link

    I once offered to introduce the girl to the object of her attention. She was instantly apologetic & submissive.


    • YaReally
      on October 29, 2013 at 6:42 am
      Original Link

      I’m busy with Halloween shit this week but:

      “I’m now practicing this. It doesn’t work to the exact script that is in the original post, but the girl I’m doing this with is flipping out….I know this because she’s crying, she’s posting nonsense on Facebook alluding to either deliberately not caring about me or pretending to be happy—over-acting.”

      Just a reminder: this is all on track. Remember, you don’t take her back until she gives up. All of this over-acting “whatever I love my grrrlz men are stupid YOLO” stuff is just her hamster going haywire trying anything and everything to get you to react in some way.

      She’s still too in love with you to even consider seriously being with some other dude. 5 Minutes of Alpha and all that, so there’s no risk of her updating FB with “in love with (some other dude)” and you not being able to get her back easily. I could txt any of my exes from years ago in whatever relationship they’re in and they would come back to me without hesitation. That’s just the power of being attractive/alpha to her.

      In fact she MIGHT bang some other dude or post FB pics of her with some guy cuddling and posting all “so in loooove with my new man!!” but even THAT is just part of her hamster trying to get you to react. Any guy she gets with simply won’t have the ability to build as strong a connection with her as you had, in a short time-frame.

      So you’re doing good. It’s hard, but trust the psychology and stay the course. If you take her back while she’s going haywire, you reward her drama behavior and teach her that “starting drama WILL work, I just have to start ENOUGH of it” and set up a terrible long-term pattern that will escalate because next time you fight and she’s in the wrong and you need a break and ignore her even when she gets to this level of behavior, she’ll just escalate her behavior to an even HIGHER level because you taught her that “sooner or later, it’ll work”

      When she’s given up and truly thinks you won’t react anymore, and goes silent again, that’s web you can re-establish contact and allow her back. Note the wording there: not GET her back, ALLOW her back. This should be your frame.

      When you do let her back in, you can even tell her during cuddle talk after the make-up sex “I missed you, but when you were spazzing out like that, I didn’t want you back in my life because I don’t like drama. And all I could think was “I wish she would calm down and quit acting out so I could let her back into my life…”” That kind of thing 1) builds the relationship back cause you’re showing you missed her when she had given up, and 2) makes her know that it was her behavior that was unacceptable and keeping her out of your life, so in the future she knows that that behavior will result in punishment and ideally learn to avoid it.

      Good luck, just wanted to drop some support in cause I know this stage is rough. I’ll respond to your other post about caring about women when I have more time, but your “I thank everyone who helped” text was solid…aloof but keeping the line of communication open. Initially when she acts up you go full radio silence. But as she starts to accept that you might really be gone, you still allow communication, you just take away the good feelings from it.

      It’s like Mystery’s freeze out technique with a girl giving LMR. He’s not mad at her, he simply turns on the lights and pulls out a chess board to play with her. He’s not being actively mean, he’s simply removing the good feelings and validation she was getting, until she fixes her behavior. She’s free to keep in touch with him etc but she won’t get those good feelings back until she quits with the nonsense behaviors. But that initial couple weeks needs radio silence partly to send a blunt shock to her and partly to give YOU time to build up some resilience and fortify your emotions for the upcoming weeks as the dynamic goes through the stages of a Soft Next.

      You’re doin’ good, keep it up. When she gives up, you can re-initiate things on your terms.



That Sinking Feeling

Original Link

via Heartiste

Simon Corso
on October 28, 2013 at 11:31 am
Original Link

A little over 3 years ago, I was just staring to learn about game, and rebounding after the end of 5 year relationship. Long story short, I ended up on a date with a 23 year old.

We exchanged some ( safe/boring beta) small talk, ordered drinks, then she pulls out her phone and delves into her social media whore-a-thon. Two minutes I sat there staring at her and glancing around the room. Another minute passed, I got up and left without excusing myself. Drove home.

I’d been gone about 15 minutes when she sent the first text.

“U still in the bathroom? ”

3 minutes later

” The ice n ur drink is melting. ”

4 more minutes

” srsly WTF ??? ”

10 minutes after that.

” ur car is gone , not funny !! ”

” I need a ride , u coming back ? ”

Finally I responded

” maybe ur phone can buy u dinner and give u a ride home . ”

Needless to say I didn’t get the lay, but the point is, I’ve always known when to walk away.

Kinda reminds me of that old Kenny Rogers song.


  • corvinus
    on October 28, 2013 at 12:12 pm
    Original Link

    Finally I responded

    ” maybe ur phone can buy u dinner and give u a ride home . ”

    Sounds butthurt. Complete radio silence until she apologizes would have been better.


    • YaReally
      on October 29, 2013 at 7:03 am
      Original Link

      “Problem with radio silence is she might be clueless enough not to know what she did wrong.”

      This. Part of a Soft Next is that she has to know what line she crossed. You don’t just punish your kid randomly, you let him know why he’s being punished so he knows how to avoid the punishment in the future…otherwise it’s just random and crazy and fixes nothing. The goal is training her behavior, not passive-aggressively punishing her for shit she doesn’t realize is wrong.

      This was handled awesomely. I lol’ed at her txts. And the “maybe your phone” txt lets her know the reason for the punishment.

      The only thing I would change would be warning her up front first about the phone. Like as she’s doing it, say “it’s rude to txt while you’re at dinner, were you raised by wolves?” Then if she continues, you execute exactly as done here. By warning her of the line in advance, she knows that she’s crossing the line when she does it so she can’t play the “you’re overreacting, I didn’t know you’d get so butt-hurt god” card because you established your rule and are now simply enforcing it.

      Often they’ll whine about it but you keep the Soft Next going and ignore her until she turns her behavior around and apologizes and in the end she’ll respect you for having rules/standards and not being afraid to lay down authority like her father would. That tells her that if you can handle HER bullshit, which 99% of guys would let her get away with, you will be a rock solid oak tree against the world she could rely on if you were in a relationship together.

      Of course the rub is that by the time she quits spazzing and calms down and apologizes, she may have demonstrated enough shitty behavior that you don’t WANT her back lol



Alpha Male Halloween Costumes

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 27, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Original Link

Here’s a spooky-but-true tale from last week:

6.5 single-mom had been upset with me — having doubts or whatever — ever since we had an argument where I got in her face about something (it was about me being with other women and I got sick of her whole ‘tell me who X is, tell me, I’ll beat her ass’ bullshit) So then, on Tuesday, she says she doesn’t feel that good (and she had been cramping really bad….which annoyed me cause it just meant I wasn’t getting it in), and that something feels ‘off.’

Surprise! Home pregnancy test positive.
That’s right. How did it happen? Who can say?
Annnnyways……

…this is on a day when she’s supposed to be moving away somewhere for a few months lol. So obv I’m like ‘wtf…….I WAS ALMOST FREEEEEE’

over the course of the week she miscarries (or maybe she had been miscarrying when she had the cramps, whichever). So we’re on the phone and she’s devastated bc this has never happened to her and says she just can’t put her body through having another kid. For some reason, my instant response was ‘well then we can’t be together.’ We get off the phone.

And so…..I try to just X her out of my life forever. I can’t — this chick is the best sex of my life. Lust = love. I just say that we can be friends, and she one-word agrees. We both exchange txts about how sad it is and that we can’t be together bc of the circumstances (there’s other shit too). My primary plan is to just see her and try to fuck her again whenever she comes back.

So then she’s like ‘we can’t do that anymore’

‘why’

‘bc I don’t do that with friends’

‘even ones you’re in love with’

‘no. im not thinking of anything intimate or touching i want my body and space to be left alone’

‘find it hard to believe you don’t want me anymore’

‘are you fucking insane. i just had a miscarriage wtf is wrong with you’

‘I was just speaking generally’

‘lmfao you’re unbelievable look up what a miscarriage does to a woman. you never have the right thing to say you just care about yourself.’

So tried to talk to her again today and she’s pretty set on this ‘you don’t care about anyone but you’ line. Fck. So I said I’d leave her alone…..did I get miscarriage friend-zoned? WTF. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

Only hope now is to just leave her alone and maybe under the guise of being friends we bang?

How we gauging this situation here?

Also, I haven’t told anyone about this. It’s so insane. When you have multiple girls, you can just kind of lean on the others to grieve. Like I slept over at the 7′s house (she’s like my bottom bitch…she takes care of me…I feel an ultimatum coming in my near future tho)…and she comforted me without me having to even talk about anything.

Anyway…..how’s that for a spooky tale?!
Pregnant, miscarriage…..phew. Jesus Christ. My life is stupid now.


  • YaReally
    on October 29, 2013 at 6:11 am
    Original Link

    @Scray

    Leave them better than you found them, dude. Wtf is this “but waaaah I want the seeeex” shit. You’re developing a skillset that will take you places you can’t even imagine right now…don’t become a fuck-head along the way. Become the man other men want to be, not one of the trash-heap of guys who burn the world around them instead of making it better. This is value-taking behavior, not value-giving, and it’ll bite you in the ass down the road.

    There’s a reason selfish Naturals are successful but miserable when you catch them drunk and venting on a vulnerable night.

    brb watching Michael Jordan dominate a bunch of children at basketball because he wants to wiiiiiiiiin and who gives a fuck about the kids crying.

    Great power, great responsibility and all that shit. Let this chick go find a dude to settle with before she hits the wall.


    • Scray
      on October 29, 2013 at 2:49 pm
      Original Link

      ugh. It’s hard because I’m so not used to being with girls I actually like. This chick was cool and a good girl. She even had what a lot of women don’t seem to have — self-awareness. Her description of us once: “It’s like Benjamin Button. We’re kind of meeting in the middle, but you’re on the way up and I’m on the way down.” :(

      It’s just going to be hard for me to let any of the cool ones go. Heartbreaking, really. Idk, that’s something that is kind of unsung around here. You get success but it still hurts. Even when you have control over it, or even if you’re the one who walks away or whatever. Still hurts.


      • YaReally
        on October 29, 2013 at 3:54 pm
        Original Link

        @Scray

        lol ya I hear ya. Maybe I’ll do a post about it sometime, but it’s just a part of playing the game.

        What the majority of guys who get into game do is first they have no girls, then they learn some game and develop their new super-power, then the first 7-8 with a decent personality (or good sex) that they land, they quit the game and settle down with her because they’ve never felt that kind of connection before and are skeptical that they can find it again in another girl. (then they stop going out, revert to their old behaviors because they didn’t do it all long enough for that stuff to stick, and the girl cheats on them lol)

        The Benjamin Button thing is a good analogy. Ships passing in the night type thing. It always hurts a little bit at least, especially when you think “if things were just a LITTLE different, who knows where this could have gone.”

        I got a txt from a fuckbuddy that moved away, at like 2am one night months later (so she was out drunk and just missing me) that said “i liked you a lot you know…it’s too bad you weren’t open to that…” She was a cool chick and I miss her, but I’m not in a place where I’m looking to settle right now.

        There was another girl that I had insane sexual chemistry with but she was engaged to be married to a nice beta dude and we stopped hooking up as her wedding approached…I could’ve ended her engagement in ONE text, but ultimately he was going to provide her things that I wouldn’t (stability, money, a home, kids, faithfulness, etc.), so we stopped txting and I’ve never tried to re-instigate it even though I know I could easily. I miss that chick a lot, it actually took me like 6 months before I was even interested in other chicks ’cause I’d compare them to her lol

        The good side of this downside is that it teaches you to appreciate people and relationships while you have them, and not to take them for granted. In my mind every relationship will end someday, even if you’re together your whole lives one of you will die at some point and it’ll be over. So I’m grateful that we meet in the middle somewhere, whether it’s for years or for a few weeks, or a night. A lot of people take that stuff for granted.

        Like some people say “just don’t let any of them get too close”, and that’s a valid tactic too. You can keep the women you’re with at arm’s length and make sure you never develop feelings and dump them before you do. I know guys who do that. But personally I love women and I like some of those feelings, so I choose to embrace them but with the understanding that one day I’ll end up hurting because of it…but sometimes that’s worth it.

        This will happen to you again in the future, and with a girl who’s even better for you. You’ll look at her while you’re cuddled up after sex with her asleep on your chest and think “Some day I’m going to break your heart. :( ” And then it’ll happen again again after her with another girl that’s even better than that one. And down the road someday when you’re ready you’ll finally choose to settle with one of them, but it’ll be on your terms, not because she dropped an ultimatum (guilt) or because you were afraid that you won’t be able to find another girl you LIKE-like (scarcity).

        You have to objectively look at what you want in life as you go. If what you want right now is to settle into a relationship at your age, you can go for it, but understand that there’s a good chance that that will be IT. You don’t get to come back to the game without massive baggage after a 5 year relationship (you’d probably have a kid, a divorce, a wife you’re cheating on, no game because you stopped going out, etc.).

        And at the same time you have to look at what’s best for her. Are you the best man for her? Can, or will, you give her the things that she needs in the long-term? If she was 21, she’d have time to go find those things if it didn’t work out with you. But at 31, you know she’s hitting the wall soon and what’s best for her might be some other guy who’s not nearly as fun in bed as you, but who will marry her and buy a house and build a family with her. You might give her a few fun years, but if you aren’t willing to commit further than that, you’re going to just leave her an old lonely spinster.

        You can give your kid cookies for supper every night because you hate seeing him cry and it feels good when he says he loves you, but is that in his best interest? Sometimes you have to be the “bad guy” and do what’s best for the other person, even if it hurts.

        This is the meaning of “Leave them better than you found them”. It’s a lot easier to say than to do lol



Alpha Male Halloween Costumes

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 27, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Original Link

Here’s a spooky-but-true tale from last week:

6.5 single-mom had been upset with me — having doubts or whatever — ever since we had an argument where I got in her face about something (it was about me being with other women and I got sick of her whole ‘tell me who X is, tell me, I’ll beat her ass’ bullshit) So then, on Tuesday, she says she doesn’t feel that good (and she had been cramping really bad….which annoyed me cause it just meant I wasn’t getting it in), and that something feels ‘off.’

Surprise! Home pregnancy test positive.
That’s right. How did it happen? Who can say?
Annnnyways……

…this is on a day when she’s supposed to be moving away somewhere for a few months lol. So obv I’m like ‘wtf…….I WAS ALMOST FREEEEEE’

over the course of the week she miscarries (or maybe she had been miscarrying when she had the cramps, whichever). So we’re on the phone and she’s devastated bc this has never happened to her and says she just can’t put her body through having another kid. For some reason, my instant response was ‘well then we can’t be together.’ We get off the phone.

And so…..I try to just X her out of my life forever. I can’t — this chick is the best sex of my life. Lust = love. I just say that we can be friends, and she one-word agrees. We both exchange txts about how sad it is and that we can’t be together bc of the circumstances (there’s other shit too). My primary plan is to just see her and try to fuck her again whenever she comes back.

So then she’s like ‘we can’t do that anymore’

‘why’

‘bc I don’t do that with friends’

‘even ones you’re in love with’

‘no. im not thinking of anything intimate or touching i want my body and space to be left alone’

‘find it hard to believe you don’t want me anymore’

‘are you fucking insane. i just had a miscarriage wtf is wrong with you’

‘I was just speaking generally’

‘lmfao you’re unbelievable look up what a miscarriage does to a woman. you never have the right thing to say you just care about yourself.’

So tried to talk to her again today and she’s pretty set on this ‘you don’t care about anyone but you’ line. Fck. So I said I’d leave her alone…..did I get miscarriage friend-zoned? WTF. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

Only hope now is to just leave her alone and maybe under the guise of being friends we bang?

How we gauging this situation here?

Also, I haven’t told anyone about this. It’s so insane. When you have multiple girls, you can just kind of lean on the others to grieve. Like I slept over at the 7’s house (she’s like my bottom bitch…she takes care of me…I feel an ultimatum coming in my near future tho)…and she comforted me without me having to even talk about anything.

Anyway…..how’s that for a spooky tale?!
Pregnant, miscarriage…..phew. Jesus Christ. My life is stupid now.


  • YaReally
    on October 29, 2013 at 6:11 am
    Original Link

    @Scray

    Leave them better than you found them, dude. Wtf is this “but waaaah I want the seeeex” shit. You’re developing a skillset that will take you places you can’t even imagine right now…don’t become a fuck-head along the way. Become the man other men want to be, not one of the trash-heap of guys who burn the world around them instead of making it better. This is value-taking behavior, not value-giving, and it’ll bite you in the ass down the road.

    There’s a reason selfish Naturals are successful but miserable when you catch them drunk and venting on a vulnerable night.

    brb watching Michael Jordan dominate a bunch of children at basketball because he wants to wiiiiiiiiin and who gives a fuck about the kids crying.

    Great power, great responsibility and all that shit. Let this chick go find a dude to settle with before she hits the wall.


    • YaReally
      on October 29, 2013 at 3:54 pm
      Original Link

      @Scray

      lol ya I hear ya. Maybe I’ll do a post about it sometime, but it’s just a part of playing the game.

      What the majority of guys who get into game do is first they have no girls, then they learn some game and develop their new super-power, then the first 7-8 with a decent personality (or good sex) that they land, they quit the game and settle down with her because they’ve never felt that kind of connection before and are skeptical that they can find it again in another girl. (then they stop going out, revert to their old behaviors because they didn’t do it all long enough for that stuff to stick, and the girl cheats on them lol)

      The Benjamin Button thing is a good analogy. Ships passing in the night type thing. It always hurts a little bit at least, especially when you think “if things were just a LITTLE different, who knows where this could have gone.”

      I got a txt from a fuckbuddy that moved away, at like 2am one night months later (so she was out drunk and just missing me) that said “i liked you a lot you know…it’s too bad you weren’t open to that…” She was a cool chick and I miss her, but I’m not in a place where I’m looking to settle right now.

      There was another girl that I had insane sexual chemistry with but she was engaged to be married to a nice beta dude and we stopped hooking up as her wedding approached…I could’ve ended her engagement in ONE text, but ultimately he was going to provide her things that I wouldn’t (stability, money, a home, kids, faithfulness, etc.), so we stopped txting and I’ve never tried to re-instigate it even though I know I could easily. I miss that chick a lot, it actually took me like 6 months before I was even interested in other chicks ’cause I’d compare them to her lol

      The good side of this downside is that it teaches you to appreciate people and relationships while you have them, and not to take them for granted. In my mind every relationship will end someday, even if you’re together your whole lives one of you will die at some point and it’ll be over. So I’m grateful that we meet in the middle somewhere, whether it’s for years or for a few weeks, or a night. A lot of people take that stuff for granted.

      Like some people say “just don’t let any of them get too close”, and that’s a valid tactic too. You can keep the women you’re with at arm’s length and make sure you never develop feelings and dump them before you do. I know guys who do that. But personally I love women and I like some of those feelings, so I choose to embrace them but with the understanding that one day I’ll end up hurting because of it…but sometimes that’s worth it.

      This will happen to you again in the future, and with a girl who’s even better for you. You’ll look at her while you’re cuddled up after sex with her asleep on your chest and think “Some day I’m going to break your heart. :(” And then it’ll happen again again after her with another girl that’s even better than that one. And down the road someday when you’re ready you’ll finally choose to settle with one of them, but it’ll be on your terms, not because she dropped an ultimatum (guilt) or because you were afraid that you won’t be able to find another girl you LIKE-like (scarcity).

      You have to objectively look at what you want in life as you go. If what you want right now is to settle into a relationship at your age, you can go for it, but understand that there’s a good chance that that will be IT. You don’t get to come back to the game without massive baggage after a 5 year relationship (you’d probably have a kid, a divorce, a wife you’re cheating on, no game because you stopped going out, etc.).

      And at the same time you have to look at what’s best for her. Are you the best man for her? Can, or will, you give her the things that she needs in the long-term? If she was 21, she’d have time to go find those things if it didn’t work out with you. But at 31, you know she’s hitting the wall soon and what’s best for her might be some other guy who’s not nearly as fun in bed as you, but who will marry her and buy a house and build a family with her. You might give her a few fun years, but if you aren’t willing to commit further than that, you’re going to just leave her an old lonely spinster.

      You can give your kid cookies for supper every night because you hate seeing him cry and it feels good when he says he loves you, but is that in his best interest? Sometimes you have to be the “bad guy” and do what’s best for the other person, even if it hurts.

      This is the meaning of “Leave them better than you found them”. It’s a lot easier to say than to do lol



Field Report: The Dushka And The Cougar

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 25, 2013 at 4:44 am
Original Link

“Low energy is sexy, but vulnerable to competing distractions. High energy is captivating, but vulnerable to self-sabotage.”

Very well said.

First off massive props and respect to Buena for going out and experimenting for himself. I may disagree or think he didn’t get the experiment quite right or whatever, but I have all sorts of respect for guys who say “okay well let’s go test this out instead of arguing online about theory”. So good on you.

Second off, for guys writing Field Reports in general, you don’t have to name names and places. Just give us the vibe of the environment and the vibe of the city you’re in etc. When you start naming specific locations and specific days/times you were there, you’re risking people narrowing down who you are (from creepy Internet dudes/feminists/etc. who hate us and would happily Facebook-stalk you to message girls you’ve talked to, to girls who stumble across your shit by pure fluke, etc.).

When you do that, you also inadvertantly “dox” other guys…like someone in the comments here posted what might be the name of the successful CEO guy. Maybe that guy’s a douche, or maybe he did some lame shit at the bar, it doesn’t matter, that guy shouldn’t be having his online rep fucked with incase it complicates his professional/personal life etc. Maybe he’s got a wife at home that thought he was with his buddies last night but someone googling his name stumbles across this shit and is like “oh that guy was out boozing it up with some slutty girls”…that shit ain’t the internet’s business.

So keep your shit annonymous. I’m not saying this just for Buena ’cause he’s old (no offense lol) and is probably established enough that he doesn’t care who knows what he’s up to, but the new guys who still have to build a career and life in general, there’s no reason to drop names. “This rich CEO dude”, “I was at this high-end lounge with business types”, etc.

Aaaaaaaaaanyway, I’m stuck inside tonight (saving my energy for Halloween week, my fav time of year lol), so here’s an in-depth breakdown of high/low energy:

First off, some definitions:

Energy:
– Laconic – James Bond, one word answers, slow speaking, only say what’s necessary, letting silences hang, etc.

– Verbose – Russel Brand, spitting out verbal diahrrea, lots of talking, filling silences, barraging the girl with words, etc.

Action:
– Passive – not actively pushing the interaction towards a lay, being happy with an “interaction”, reacting to your environment

- Pro-active – actively pushing the interaction towards a lay, trying to fuck her, not just get a number or a “chat”, making your environment react to you

Now as I’ve said before it’s important to understand that how you act in the bar is not necessarily which type you are. Think about how you act when you’re pre-drinking with your buddies before the bar…THAT’S who you are. Say you’re playing xbox and having a drink before you hit the bar…are you the guy talking shit to everyone? Are you the guy that sits silently only dropping one or two comments? Are you the guy who’s cracking rude jokes? Are you the guy who’s feeling uncomfortable because you don’t know some of the people? Are you the guy meeting/greeting the new guys and making sure they’re a part of the conversation? How are you around your family at dinner? Do you say one or two words? Do you tell stories and yap away? This is who you really are and a big part of game is being congruent to who you are, instead of trying to act how you think the girl wants you to act. Hot girls can sniff out incongruence, it’s a part of their daily survival because so many guys around them are full of shit trying to get something from them. If you don’t talk much around your friends/family and you’d give your best bro-friend a Jumbotron reply, then you are naturally a laconic person. If not, you’re some level of verbose. Bring that to the table and embrace it.

So there are actually 4 types of game, not just “high-energy and low-energy”, which is where the disconnect is coming in for a lot of people (like I always say, any concept that gets unpredictable results can be broken down further):

1) passive, laconic (low-energy, beta, unattractive)
2) pro-active, laconic (low-energy, alpha, attractive)

3) passive, verbose (high-energy, beta, unattractive)
4) pro-active, verbose (high-energy, alpha, attractive)

Examples of each type:

1) passive, laconic (low-energy, beta):

Alright I’m gonna’ shit on this one first because this is the Manosphere fucking FAVORITE. Every guy on half the forums thinks he’s this badass James Bond. But I’ve read a lot of Manosphere Field Reports and they are full of delusions. This is what most guys think “low-energy” game is.

Don’t worry, I’m going to make fun of PUAs later as well, so don’t let this make you feel bad lol.

But first a disclaimer: Like Scray says, if you’re established as high-value, you can be passive (laconic or verbose) because often the girl will be pro-active. But understand that if you just go in wearing a suit and post up against the bar, you are NOT high-value…you look exactly the same as the “passive, laconic” loser beta. You are fooling yourself if you think you look high-value because your pocket square matches your socks, and you know that you’re getting approached by 5-7s at best, and going home fucking them and telling yourself and your boys that you were just slumming it on a lark that night when in reality you were simply not high-value enough to get the attention of higher-quality girls, and you weren’t being pro-active enough to demonstrate your high-value to get them.

The reason you looking decent and wearing a nice fitted suit etc. as you post up at the bar isn’t high-value is because hot girls are SURROUNDED by guys who offer that at the bare minimum, and/or who ONLY offer that and have nothing else going on.

That’s why I say you get approached by 5-7s, because to THOSE women you are high-value…but to the legit 8+ girls, you are just another dude in a nice suit, like the 10 guys texting her and the 4 guys buying her drinks right now. You have to be pro-active to stand out because you are bringing nothing to the table that an 8+ hasn’t seen a thousand times.

That said, this is okay, this isn’t me shitting on you as a man and saying you’re worthless and fucked for life, it’s me saying take a SERIOUS ego-less cold hard objective look at your vibe when you’re out and ask yourself “am I actually getting the attention of the girls that I ACTUALLY want and choose, yes or no?” If the honest answer is a no, then it’s time to be pro-active. If you’ve been going home solo and/or with girls that you wouldn’t show off to your buddies, guess what, you’re not “good but slumming it”, you are BAD and it’s time for a reality check so you can stop wasting your nights out getting sub-par results.

This is what “passive, laconic” Manosphere guys THINK they look like:

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/DANIEL-CRAIG-AS-JAMES-BOND-LEANING-ON-BAR-CASINO-ROYALE-24X30-POSTER-/00/s/MzgwWDMwNA==/$%28KGrHqZHJCME63%285Fc2GBO5qY8VO,g~~60_35.JPG

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/04/06/article-0-191EA1EB000005DC-892_634x947.jpg

http://cdn-ugc.cafemom.com/gen/min/200/200/80/2012/06/11/00/b1/fw/pon17eso0g.jpg

And this is what they think/hope will happen:

http://bamfstyle.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/2013-01-23-01-07-00-am-bar.jpg?w=664&h=374

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/don-draper-are-you-alone-the-phantom.gif

In reality what generally happens is after an hour or two of standing around trying to look cool, one of these approaches him:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2013/08/14/dining/14WOMEN1_SPAN/14WOMEN1-articleLarge.jpg

http://s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/61vfD49V2roh0LaLbMZ4xQ/l.jpg

http://barblogger.pubclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/HBDeeGroupFFFF.jpg

…usually a little tipsy/drunk because she had to work up the courage to come over and I mean, she’s had an hour or two of drinking with her girls while he was standing there looking cool. Usually she’ll open with something like “I like your suit!!”, maybe even put her hands on his chest to feel the suit (and stay balanced, since she’s tipsy).

The guy’s first thought will usually be “ah fuck, get away ugly girl, I want that hot girl over there that I’ve been trying to make eye-contact with for an hour but who isn’t paying attention to me at all, or has made eye-contact with me and is waiting for me to take action but I’m too cool for that and waiting for her to come over to me so I seem more alpha badass”.

But that girl will be persistent, he’ll realize he’s probably not going to get the hot girl he wanted because his passive “look cool” game doesn’t seem to be working tonight, and it’s been a while since he stuck his dick in something, and this chick is all up in his face so he starts flirting back. He rationalizes it like “well, I’m only doing this as a laugh.” and “I’m only doing this because it’ll be so easy, this is a slam dunk, I’ll even make this chick buy me a drink lolol I’m really a pimp despite slumming it tonight, wait’ll I tell the boys how much this chick wanted me lol”

The other option is that they don’t get the attention they expected/wanted, so they then, again “for a laugh” of course, bail to a shittier meat-market bar in their suits where the crowd is dressed shittier so they figure that will raise their value, but with that comes shittier girls…but that’s okay, ’cause they’re just doing it for a laugh, you see.

So why does this happen? Why doesn’t the smokin hottie ditch her high-value social circle to come over and open him? Why do ugly average girls come over and approach him?

Because these guys are giving off the exact same low-value signals (not leading or going after what they want, waiting for something to happen, reacting to their environment and the women that conveniently approach them and not taking action when girls don’t, settling for whatever approaches them and rationalizing away their shitty results like a fat chick who says she didn’t want any Valentine’s Day card ANYWAY humph!! lol) that these guys are giving off:

http://bodylanguageproject.com/the-only-book-on-body-language-that-everybody-needs-to-read/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/BodyLanguageProjectCom-Hands-In-Pockets-1.jpg

http://www.rumoursnightclub.com/club-photos/_data/i/galleries/Michael_Cera/Cera_Crop-me.jpg

(the guy in the striped polo):
http://www.bangguides.com/images/photos/chicas.jpg

They’re just giving off those signals in a nicer suit. :P Again, if you have established value, you can be passive…but again, wearing a nice suit and having a cool lifestyle does not give you established value because until the girl actually interacts with you all she sees is a dude in a nice suit who’s standing around holding up the wall/bar, taking no action, and not making his environment react to him.

2) pro-active, laconic (low-energy, alpha)

If you’re one of those naturally laconic guys, this is what you want to aim towards. This means you’re still staying mysterious or using short answers etc., but you’re pushing the interaction forward sexually. Everything you say is geared toward moving forward or getting a reaction out of her (VS you reacting to her), staying rock-solid through shit-tests, and this involves a lot of body-language and laser eye-contact as well.

Some examples of “pro-active, laconic”…the key is in 1) how they force the girl to react to them, and 2) how they’re always moving toward fucking…also not how they make a lot of eye-contact, their body-language is stoic, they talk slowly, leave lots of pauses, etc.:

(lol):

The jist is that the girls they interact with feel like they’re playing catch-up (reacting) to him…like he has a purpose/goal (whether that’s sex, or to get someone to do something he wants them to do in general) and everything in his vibe is pushing towards that while she stumbles along trying to get her footing.

Even with men, they’re pushing forward, forcing the men around them to react to them, often by asking questions in breaking-rapport. Like in this clip Tyler is dropping shit like “Do you know what a duvet is…” and letting the silence hang. “Just ask, man. (silence)” “Is it a problem for you to ask?” He cuts Jack off and says things that force him to react and feel like he’s on his heels trying to get his footing as Tyler pushes toward the outcome he wants.

THIS vibe is extremely seductive to women. The problem with most guys is that they THINK they’re being this, but objectively what they actually do is stand around trying to look cool and as soon as a woman interacts with them they either burst out a bunch of talking (showing that they ARE actually talkative, but were putting on an incongruent shtick by not engaging everyone around them earlier, which is unattractive), or they keep the laconic speech patterns/vibe but they don’t actually push the interaction forward…at best they take it sideways, engaging the girl but letting her lead the conversation or test them or screen them instead of them leading the conversation and screening and testing her. Essentially they end up on the “defensive” instead of her ending up on the defensive, which equals him reacting to her, instead of her reacting to him, which equals him reacting to his environment (passive, beta) instead of him forcing his environment to react to him (pro-active, alpha).

So you still feel like you’re a laconic dude and you’ve read both 1 and 2 of my points so far, realized my ultimate wisdom and suffered the inner embarrassment of someone hitting way too close to home calling out how your nights out actually go, and you want to fix that shit and get out of category 1 and into this much better category. So how do you go from “passive, laconic” to “pro-active, laconic”?

The key is in knowing what you want, and leading/pushing toward it. You’re like a train at full speed…she can throw up some resistance but you’re going to just plow right through it while she tries to scurry out of the way. Start qualifying her more, start testing her more. Screen her for qualities and don’t let her get away with not living up to those qualities. Legitimately be judgemental and force her to defend herself. Shit-test her. Let silences hang in the air while she scurries around in her head for an answer to your piercing questions. Approach her as soon as you see her, cut through the crowd, take what you want. Interrupt whatever she’s doing, it’s not as important as you. Force her and the environment around you to react to you. Chat with the people around you, even if you’re just making short laconic statements…show that you’re high-value and that people like you, but that you’d rather talk one on one with someone in a deep conversation, than chat up the entire bar. Engage the people around you in deeper conversations, not surface-level fluff. Ask questions that make people think. Scold a woman for her actions as an opener. Let her worry whether you’re mad at her, and then be relieved that you’re not. This is the style where you ask a deep question that people feel compelled to ramble off a long answer, and you learn more about them than they know about you.

Both 1 and 2 are laconic, but how pro-active you are is what makes the difference. The problem with being laconic is that your sub-communications better be tight as FUCK, because you’re not giving her anything else to judge you on. You’d better be locking laser eye-contact, staring into her fucking soul. Your body-language better be chill and non-fidgety, unafraid to grab her and pull her in and position her how and where you want her while you talk, with rock-solid belief that she’ll follow.

The other problem is that a lot of this is hard to fake if you don’t legitimately have abundance with women…you have to BE judgemental and screening. She has to believe that when you say “Do you like (such and such)?” that there is a WRONG answer to that question that will make you lose interest in her. She has to be a little bit afraid that she doesn’t quite have your approval or that she could lose it with one wrong move.

So a big key in this is knowing exactly what you want. Sit down and write it out. Write down 10 physical qualities you want in a woman (blonde, certain fashion sense, etc.) and then write down 10 personality qualities you want in a woman (positive, out-going, shy, sassy, ability to cook, healthy gym habits, etc.). These are whatever YOU are attracted to and would want in a long-term relationship. Then when you’re out, you screen a girl for those qualities…if a girl doesn’t live up to some of them you don’t have to tell her to fuck off and lose the lay, but you DO have to make sure she understands that she’s on thin ice. Ideally you should be giving off a vibe where she might not know how to cook but now that you’ve let her know you don’t approve of that, she wants to run home and dig out a recipe book and LEARN how to cook.

This is the vibe that guys like James Bond, Don Draper, etc. give off…but most guys jumble categories 1 and 2 and act like 1 instead of 2, because they don’t have the inner framework to support being 2.

Also if you’re trying to be this category, you can’t be gaming and fucking and number-closing uglies, or girls who don’t fit into your preferred qualities at all. That means no rationalizing that shit away as “just for a laugh” or “as a slump-buster” or “because it was easy” etc. Every time you do that, whether anyone sees it or not, you’re teaching your brain that your standards are not REALLY standards and you’re getting one step further from being congruent to this category. If you don’t abide by your standards, then you don’t HAVE standards.

So let’s move into the verbose categories:

3) passive, verbose (high-energy, beta)

This is the “dancing monkey”. This is the newbie (and often intermediate/advanced, sadly) PUA. This is what everyone pictures when someone says “be high-energy”. This is the unattractive clown, the approval-seeking fool, the loser that girls allow to entertain them for a few minutes but don’t actually want to fuck.

Examples:

“Meat” in this video, possibly the most painful thing you’ll ever watch:

Both of these fucking guys lol:

Basically any guy learning pickup that you see out at your local bar is this lol Obviously this is not just super un-attractive, but it’s even repulsive to guys to watch. I didn’t even want to look up anymore examples because it’s just too painful and I feel bad for the guys as well as loathing them.

The reason this is unattractive isn’t that they talk a lot, it’s that everything they say is supplicative, approval-seeking, trying to hold her attention, begging for scraps, etc. It all reeks of scarcity and insecurity and a lack of a strong inner core. It’s also not leading the interaction anywhere, not creating any sexual tension, and the girl is thinking “he seems like a nice guy I guess”, not “wow I want that guy to bend me over this bar and fuck my brains out”.

This guy will get results, because he’s basically playing the numbers game and he sticks in there as long as he can, but most of the numbers he gets will either be flakes, or be girls who expect him to take her on a date because they think “well he’s not sexy but maybe he can be my provider beta male while I fuck someone better”, or the girls just give them the number out of social pressure or not wanting to be rude or being drunk etc.

I would put a solid 90% of the guys that approach girls on any given night at the bar in this category.

Last but not least we have:

4) pro-active, verbose (high-energy, alpha)

This is your Russel Brands, your John Mayers, your Robert Downey Jr’s, etc. The key to notice is that, just like the “pro-active, laconic” type, this type also forces their environment to react to them, puts everyone on their heels trying to catch their balance, etc.

Another key feature of this type, which is where Buena’s experiment was off-track, is that this type self-amuses. Everything they do is for their own amusement. They like to fuck with people, use innuendo and sarcasm and go off on little tangents, they talk about whatever’s on their mind, and don’t care whether the girl stays or goes because they’re having fun. This is kind of the opposite of the “pro-active, laconic” type in that this type doesn’t really care about “getting to know” the girl and asking her deep questions about herself…he’s getting to know the girl by seeing how she reacts to him shaking up her world.

Also a lot of these guys use dead-pan. They rattle off some stuff in that tone of voice and with that straight-face where the girl has to think “wait, is he serious?” and basically he’s forcing her to think, which is forcing her to react to him, instead of reacting to her. They tend to have very strong frame-control too, and suck the people around them into their frame.

And finally, because they’re pro-active, they’re always pushing forward…usually to sex, but also just to whatever their goals are (and their goal is often just to shake people up because they know that’ll translate to attraction):

People love when Stifler comes on-screen because as soon as you see him you KNOW he’s going to fuck shit up and send everyone around him into a reactive chaos. Just seeing his character appear on-screen, instantly you know he’s going to have everyone on their heels trying to keep their balance:

Here’s John Mayer repeatedly AMOG’ing Kanye West, possibly the biggest ego in the world…there’s also a good lesson on congruence in there when he explains why black people like him:

What do you do if you realize upon reading this that you’re stuck in category 3 and you’re tired of asexual interactions and flakey numbers and girls who like you but don’t want to FUCK you, and you want to transition to category 4? The keys are in using breaking-rapport tonality, self-amusing, making statements instead of asking questions, expressing yourself and who you are instead of asking her questions about who she wants or if she approves of things, total outcome independence, etc. Say controversial things unapologetically. Force her, and the people around you, to react to you. Be the center of attention and embrace it. Understand that other guys watching wish they were taking action like you, and girls watching wish that they were being allowed to get swept up in your energy the way the person you’re talking to is. Take improv classes and learn to riff off what people say and redirect the flow of the conversation. Understand that you’re giving value just by being you, and that it’s okay if some people don’t like you. Stick by your opinions, never change your view or your behavior/actions to supplicate to a girl. Completely entertain yourself when you’re out…even if you make an ass out of yourself or say something stupid, act as if it was the smartest awesomest thing in the world and other people will fall into that frame.

And most importantly: LEAD/PUSH THE INTERACTION SOMEWHERE, like to you sticking your dick in her, not to “a nice conversation” or “a pretty solid number”. Get up in her space and escalate as you talk, drop innuendo, add in kino, be an unstoppable force that has the crowd around you going “holy shit look at that guy go!” and has the girls around you telling your target “omg kiss him already!!!”

So there it is. Hopefully this clears up some discussion. Happy Halloween. Get out there and have some fun, every girls’ ASD is on holiday and it’s the sluttiest time of the year. No going for gay phone numbers, go all or nothing for the makeout and Same Night Lays. Escalate hard and fast, they aren’t putting on those slutty outfits to NOT get some dick. Be pro-active, whether you’re laconic or verbose.



Field Report: The Dushka And The Cougar

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 25, 2013 at 4:44 am
Original Link

“Low energy is sexy, but vulnerable to competing distractions. High energy is captivating, but vulnerable to self-sabotage.”

Very well said.

First off massive props and respect to Buena for going out and experimenting for himself. I may disagree or think he didn’t get the experiment quite right or whatever, but I have all sorts of respect for guys who say “okay well let’s go test this out instead of arguing online about theory”. So good on you.

Second off, for guys writing Field Reports in general, you don’t have to name names and places. Just give us the vibe of the environment and the vibe of the city you’re in etc. When you start naming specific locations and specific days/times you were there, you’re risking people narrowing down who you are (from creepy Internet dudes/feminists/etc. who hate us and would happily Facebook-stalk you to message girls you’ve talked to, to girls who stumble across your shit by pure fluke, etc.).

When you do that, you also inadvertantly “dox” other guys…like someone in the comments here posted what might be the name of the successful CEO guy. Maybe that guy’s a douche, or maybe he did some lame shit at the bar, it doesn’t matter, that guy shouldn’t be having his online rep fucked with incase it complicates his professional/personal life etc. Maybe he’s got a wife at home that thought he was with his buddies last night but someone googling his name stumbles across this shit and is like “oh that guy was out boozing it up with some slutty girls”…that shit ain’t the internet’s business.

So keep your shit annonymous. I’m not saying this just for Buena ’cause he’s old (no offense lol) and is probably established enough that he doesn’t care who knows what he’s up to, but the new guys who still have to build a career and life in general, there’s no reason to drop names. “This rich CEO dude”, “I was at this high-end lounge with business types”, etc.

Aaaaaaaaaanyway, I’m stuck inside tonight (saving my energy for Halloween week, my fav time of year lol), so here’s an in-depth breakdown of high/low energy:

First off, some definitions:

Energy:
– Laconic – James Bond, one word answers, slow speaking, only say what’s necessary, letting silences hang, etc.

– Verbose – Russel Brand, spitting out verbal diahrrea, lots of talking, filling silences, barraging the girl with words, etc.

Action:
– Passive – not actively pushing the interaction towards a lay, being happy with an “interaction”, reacting to your environment

– Pro-active – actively pushing the interaction towards a lay, trying to fuck her, not just get a number or a “chat”, making your environment react to you

Now as I’ve said before it’s important to understand that how you act in the bar is not necessarily which type you are. Think about how you act when you’re pre-drinking with your buddies before the bar…THAT’S who you are. Say you’re playing xbox and having a drink before you hit the bar…are you the guy talking shit to everyone? Are you the guy that sits silently only dropping one or two comments? Are you the guy who’s cracking rude jokes? Are you the guy who’s feeling uncomfortable because you don’t know some of the people? Are you the guy meeting/greeting the new guys and making sure they’re a part of the conversation? How are you around your family at dinner? Do you say one or two words? Do you tell stories and yap away? This is who you really are and a big part of game is being congruent to who you are, instead of trying to act how you think the girl wants you to act. Hot girls can sniff out incongruence, it’s a part of their daily survival because so many guys around them are full of shit trying to get something from them. If you don’t talk much around your friends/family and you’d give your best bro-friend a Jumbotron reply, then you are naturally a laconic person. If not, you’re some level of verbose. Bring that to the table and embrace it.

So there are actually 4 types of game, not just “high-energy and low-energy”, which is where the disconnect is coming in for a lot of people (like I always say, any concept that gets unpredictable results can be broken down further):

1) passive, laconic (low-energy, beta, unattractive)
2) pro-active, laconic (low-energy, alpha, attractive)

3) passive, verbose (high-energy, beta, unattractive)
4) pro-active, verbose (high-energy, alpha, attractive)

Examples of each type:

1) passive, laconic (low-energy, beta):

Alright I’m gonna’ shit on this one first because this is the Manosphere fucking FAVORITE. Every guy on half the forums thinks he’s this badass James Bond. But I’ve read a lot of Manosphere Field Reports and they are full of delusions. This is what most guys think “low-energy” game is.

Don’t worry, I’m going to make fun of PUAs later as well, so don’t let this make you feel bad lol.

But first a disclaimer: Like Scray says, if you’re established as high-value, you can be passive (laconic or verbose) because often the girl will be pro-active. But understand that if you just go in wearing a suit and post up against the bar, you are NOT high-value…you look exactly the same as the “passive, laconic” loser beta. You are fooling yourself if you think you look high-value because your pocket square matches your socks, and you know that you’re getting approached by 5-7s at best, and going home fucking them and telling yourself and your boys that you were just slumming it on a lark that night when in reality you were simply not high-value enough to get the attention of higher-quality girls, and you weren’t being pro-active enough to demonstrate your high-value to get them.

The reason you looking decent and wearing a nice fitted suit etc. as you post up at the bar isn’t high-value is because hot girls are SURROUNDED by guys who offer that at the bare minimum, and/or who ONLY offer that and have nothing else going on.

That’s why I say you get approached by 5-7s, because to THOSE women you are high-value…but to the legit 8+ girls, you are just another dude in a nice suit, like the 10 guys texting her and the 4 guys buying her drinks right now. You have to be pro-active to stand out because you are bringing nothing to the table that an 8+ hasn’t seen a thousand times.

That said, this is okay, this isn’t me shitting on you as a man and saying you’re worthless and fucked for life, it’s me saying take a SERIOUS ego-less cold hard objective look at your vibe when you’re out and ask yourself “am I actually getting the attention of the girls that I ACTUALLY want and choose, yes or no?” If the honest answer is a no, then it’s time to be pro-active. If you’ve been going home solo and/or with girls that you wouldn’t show off to your buddies, guess what, you’re not “good but slumming it”, you are BAD and it’s time for a reality check so you can stop wasting your nights out getting sub-par results.

This is what “passive, laconic” Manosphere guys THINK they look like:

And this is what they think/hope will happen:

http://bamfstyle.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/2013-01-23-01-07-00-am-bar.jpg?w=664&h=374

In reality what generally happens is after an hour or two of standing around trying to look cool, one of these approaches him:

…usually a little tipsy/drunk because she had to work up the courage to come over and I mean, she’s had an hour or two of drinking with her girls while he was standing there looking cool. Usually she’ll open with something like “I like your suit!!”, maybe even put her hands on his chest to feel the suit (and stay balanced, since she’s tipsy).

The guy’s first thought will usually be “ah fuck, get away ugly girl, I want that hot girl over there that I’ve been trying to make eye-contact with for an hour but who isn’t paying attention to me at all, or has made eye-contact with me and is waiting for me to take action but I’m too cool for that and waiting for her to come over to me so I seem more alpha badass”.

But that girl will be persistent, he’ll realize he’s probably not going to get the hot girl he wanted because his passive “look cool” game doesn’t seem to be working tonight, and it’s been a while since he stuck his dick in something, and this chick is all up in his face so he starts flirting back. He rationalizes it like “well, I’m only doing this as a laugh.” and “I’m only doing this because it’ll be so easy, this is a slam dunk, I’ll even make this chick buy me a drink lolol I’m really a pimp despite slumming it tonight, wait’ll I tell the boys how much this chick wanted me lol”

The other option is that they don’t get the attention they expected/wanted, so they then, again “for a laugh” of course, bail to a shittier meat-market bar in their suits where the crowd is dressed shittier so they figure that will raise their value, but with that comes shittier girls…but that’s okay, ’cause they’re just doing it for a laugh, you see.

So why does this happen? Why doesn’t the smokin hottie ditch her high-value social circle to come over and open him? Why do ugly average girls come over and approach him?

Because these guys are giving off the exact same low-value signals (not leading or going after what they want, waiting for something to happen, reacting to their environment and the women that conveniently approach them and not taking action when girls don’t, settling for whatever approaches them and rationalizing away their shitty results like a fat chick who says she didn’t want any Valentine’s Day card ANYWAY humph!! lol) that these guys are giving off:

(the guy in the striped polo):

They’re just giving off those signals in a nicer suit. :P Again, if you have established value, you can be passive…but again, wearing a nice suit and having a cool lifestyle does not give you established value because until the girl actually interacts with you all she sees is a dude in a nice suit who’s standing around holding up the wall/bar, taking no action, and not making his environment react to him.

2) pro-active, laconic (low-energy, alpha)

If you’re one of those naturally laconic guys, this is what you want to aim towards. This means you’re still staying mysterious or using short answers etc., but you’re pushing the interaction forward sexually. Everything you say is geared toward moving forward or getting a reaction out of her (VS you reacting to her), staying rock-solid through shit-tests, and this involves a lot of body-language and laser eye-contact as well.

Some examples of “pro-active, laconic”…the key is in 1) how they force the girl to react to them, and 2) how they’re always moving toward fucking…also not how they make a lot of eye-contact, their body-language is stoic, they talk slowly, leave lots of pauses, etc.:

(lol):

The jist is that the girls they interact with feel like they’re playing catch-up (reacting) to him…like he has a purpose/goal (whether that’s sex, or to get someone to do something he wants them to do in general) and everything in his vibe is pushing towards that while she stumbles along trying to get her footing.

Even with men, they’re pushing forward, forcing the men around them to react to them, often by asking questions in breaking-rapport. Like in this clip Tyler is dropping shit like “Do you know what a duvet is…” and letting the silence hang. “Just ask, man. (silence)” “Is it a problem for you to ask?” He cuts Jack off and says things that force him to react and feel like he’s on his heels trying to get his footing as Tyler pushes toward the outcome he wants.

THIS vibe is extremely seductive to women. The problem with most guys is that they THINK they’re being this, but objectively what they actually do is stand around trying to look cool and as soon as a woman interacts with them they either burst out a bunch of talking (showing that they ARE actually talkative, but were putting on an incongruent shtick by not engaging everyone around them earlier, which is unattractive), or they keep the laconic speech patterns/vibe but they don’t actually push the interaction forward…at best they take it sideways, engaging the girl but letting her lead the conversation or test them or screen them instead of them leading the conversation and screening and testing her. Essentially they end up on the “defensive” instead of her ending up on the defensive, which equals him reacting to her, instead of her reacting to him, which equals him reacting to his environment (passive, beta) instead of him forcing his environment to react to him (pro-active, alpha).

So you still feel like you’re a laconic dude and you’ve read both 1 and 2 of my points so far, realized my ultimate wisdom and suffered the inner embarrassment of someone hitting way too close to home calling out how your nights out actually go, and you want to fix that shit and get out of category 1 and into this much better category. So how do you go from “passive, laconic” to “pro-active, laconic”?

The key is in knowing what you want, and leading/pushing toward it. You’re like a train at full speed…she can throw up some resistance but you’re going to just plow right through it while she tries to scurry out of the way. Start qualifying her more, start testing her more. Screen her for qualities and don’t let her get away with not living up to those qualities. Legitimately be judgemental and force her to defend herself. Shit-test her. Let silences hang in the air while she scurries around in her head for an answer to your piercing questions. Approach her as soon as you see her, cut through the crowd, take what you want. Interrupt whatever she’s doing, it’s not as important as you. Force her and the environment around you to react to you. Chat with the people around you, even if you’re just making short laconic statements…show that you’re high-value and that people like you, but that you’d rather talk one on one with someone in a deep conversation, than chat up the entire bar. Engage the people around you in deeper conversations, not surface-level fluff. Ask questions that make people think. Scold a woman for her actions as an opener. Let her worry whether you’re mad at her, and then be relieved that you’re not. This is the style where you ask a deep question that people feel compelled to ramble off a long answer, and you learn more about them than they know about you.

Both 1 and 2 are laconic, but how pro-active you are is what makes the difference. The problem with being laconic is that your sub-communications better be tight as FUCK, because you’re not giving her anything else to judge you on. You’d better be locking laser eye-contact, staring into her fucking soul. Your body-language better be chill and non-fidgety, unafraid to grab her and pull her in and position her how and where you want her while you talk, with rock-solid belief that she’ll follow.

The other problem is that a lot of this is hard to fake if you don’t legitimately have abundance with women…you have to BE judgemental and screening. She has to believe that when you say “Do you like (such and such)?” that there is a WRONG answer to that question that will make you lose interest in her. She has to be a little bit afraid that she doesn’t quite have your approval or that she could lose it with one wrong move.

So a big key in this is knowing exactly what you want. Sit down and write it out. Write down 10 physical qualities you want in a woman (blonde, certain fashion sense, etc.) and then write down 10 personality qualities you want in a woman (positive, out-going, shy, sassy, ability to cook, healthy gym habits, etc.). These are whatever YOU are attracted to and would want in a long-term relationship. Then when you’re out, you screen a girl for those qualities…if a girl doesn’t live up to some of them you don’t have to tell her to fuck off and lose the lay, but you DO have to make sure she understands that she’s on thin ice. Ideally you should be giving off a vibe where she might not know how to cook but now that you’ve let her know you don’t approve of that, she wants to run home and dig out a recipe book and LEARN how to cook.

This is the vibe that guys like James Bond, Don Draper, etc. give off…but most guys jumble categories 1 and 2 and act like 1 instead of 2, because they don’t have the inner framework to support being 2.

Also if you’re trying to be this category, you can’t be gaming and fucking and number-closing uglies, or girls who don’t fit into your preferred qualities at all. That means no rationalizing that shit away as “just for a laugh” or “as a slump-buster” or “because it was easy” etc. Every time you do that, whether anyone sees it or not, you’re teaching your brain that your standards are not REALLY standards and you’re getting one step further from being congruent to this category. If you don’t abide by your standards, then you don’t HAVE standards.

So let’s move into the verbose categories:

3) passive, verbose (high-energy, beta)

This is the “dancing monkey”. This is the newbie (and often intermediate/advanced, sadly) PUA. This is what everyone pictures when someone says “be high-energy”. This is the unattractive clown, the approval-seeking fool, the loser that girls allow to entertain them for a few minutes but don’t actually want to fuck.

Examples:

“Meat” in this video, possibly the most painful thing you’ll ever watch:

Both of these fucking guys lol:

Basically any guy learning pickup that you see out at your local bar is this lol Obviously this is not just super un-attractive, but it’s even repulsive to guys to watch. I didn’t even want to look up anymore examples because it’s just too painful and I feel bad for the guys as well as loathing them.

The reason this is unattractive isn’t that they talk a lot, it’s that everything they say is supplicative, approval-seeking, trying to hold her attention, begging for scraps, etc. It all reeks of scarcity and insecurity and a lack of a strong inner core. It’s also not leading the interaction anywhere, not creating any sexual tension, and the girl is thinking “he seems like a nice guy I guess”, not “wow I want that guy to bend me over this bar and fuck my brains out”.

This guy will get results, because he’s basically playing the numbers game and he sticks in there as long as he can, but most of the numbers he gets will either be flakes, or be girls who expect him to take her on a date because they think “well he’s not sexy but maybe he can be my provider beta male while I fuck someone better”, or the girls just give them the number out of social pressure or not wanting to be rude or being drunk etc.

I would put a solid 90% of the guys that approach girls on any given night at the bar in this category.

Last but not least we have:

4) pro-active, verbose (high-energy, alpha)

This is your Russel Brands, your John Mayers, your Robert Downey Jr’s, etc. The key to notice is that, just like the “pro-active, laconic” type, this type also forces their environment to react to them, puts everyone on their heels trying to catch their balance, etc.

Another key feature of this type, which is where Buena’s experiment was off-track, is that this type self-amuses. Everything they do is for their own amusement. They like to fuck with people, use innuendo and sarcasm and go off on little tangents, they talk about whatever’s on their mind, and don’t care whether the girl stays or goes because they’re having fun. This is kind of the opposite of the “pro-active, laconic” type in that this type doesn’t really care about “getting to know” the girl and asking her deep questions about herself…he’s getting to know the girl by seeing how she reacts to him shaking up her world.

Also a lot of these guys use dead-pan. They rattle off some stuff in that tone of voice and with that straight-face where the girl has to think “wait, is he serious?” and basically he’s forcing her to think, which is forcing her to react to him, instead of reacting to her. They tend to have very strong frame-control too, and suck the people around them into their frame.

And finally, because they’re pro-active, they’re always pushing forward…usually to sex, but also just to whatever their goals are (and their goal is often just to shake people up because they know that’ll translate to attraction):

People love when Stifler comes on-screen because as soon as you see him you KNOW he’s going to fuck shit up and send everyone around him into a reactive chaos. Just seeing his character appear on-screen, instantly you know he’s going to have everyone on their heels trying to keep their balance:

Here’s John Mayer repeatedly AMOG’ing Kanye West, possibly the biggest ego in the world…there’s also a good lesson on congruence in there when he explains why black people like him:

What do you do if you realize upon reading this that you’re stuck in category 3 and you’re tired of asexual interactions and flakey numbers and girls who like you but don’t want to FUCK you, and you want to transition to category 4? The keys are in using breaking-rapport tonality, self-amusing, making statements instead of asking questions, expressing yourself and who you are instead of asking her questions about who she wants or if she approves of things, total outcome independence, etc. Say controversial things unapologetically. Force her, and the people around you, to react to you. Be the center of attention and embrace it. Understand that other guys watching wish they were taking action like you, and girls watching wish that they were being allowed to get swept up in your energy the way the person you’re talking to is. Take improv classes and learn to riff off what people say and redirect the flow of the conversation. Understand that you’re giving value just by being you, and that it’s okay if some people don’t like you. Stick by your opinions, never change your view or your behavior/actions to supplicate to a girl. Completely entertain yourself when you’re out…even if you make an ass out of yourself or say something stupid, act as if it was the smartest awesomest thing in the world and other people will fall into that frame.

And most importantly: LEAD/PUSH THE INTERACTION SOMEWHERE, like to you sticking your dick in her, not to “a nice conversation” or “a pretty solid number”. Get up in her space and escalate as you talk, drop innuendo, add in kino, be an unstoppable force that has the crowd around you going “holy shit look at that guy go!” and has the girls around you telling your target “omg kiss him already!!!”

So there it is. Hopefully this clears up some discussion. Happy Halloween. Get out there and have some fun, every girls’ ASD is on holiday and it’s the sluttiest time of the year. No going for gay phone numbers, go all or nothing for the makeout and Same Night Lays. Escalate hard and fast, they aren’t putting on those slutty outfits to NOT get some dick. Be pro-active, whether you’re laconic or verbose.



The Sexiness Of Shallow Communication

Original Link

via Heartiste

BuenaVista
on October 23, 2013 at 10:08 am
Original Link

I’m trying to picture ‘high energy game’. All I’m coming up with are college guys (boys being boys), Robin Williams and Jim Carey (i.e., psychos). And even Robin Williams can be wry. Jack Nicholson only uses high energy on male buds, and Warren Beatty is totally low energy.

I think high energy game would alarm the shit out of any woman over 27 with a functioning hippocampus. She’d be cycling through that gray matter of habit and routinized expectation and be thinking: “frat boy” “forex trader” “Jersey Shore” “Girls Gone Wild” and coming up with RUN AWAY NOW.

Pretty hard to imagine 007/Thomas Crowne deploying high-energy game. While it’s easy to picture a suave guy being “chosen”, if he’s 8-10 no woman will approach him. I think a suave guy with presence actually has to do the choosing, and the only way he won’t scare the shit out of a woman is by going laconic and reticent, while remaining focused.

The only time I cut loose with high energy is if I want a woman to disappear, or don’t care if she does. It’s more entertaining for me, than her, and the ones who stick around and dish it out in return can be fascinating for an extra hour or two (because they have a freaky side that the high energy licenses).

Help me out, someone, and suggest an iconic, desireable male figure over 30 who uses high energy game. I see its utility to be very low once a woman is attracted to accomplishment, protection, intelligence and wealth as much as looks. As CH’s Reader adds, above, successful people are scrupulously frugal in their conversation.


  • Scray
    on October 23, 2013 at 12:14 pm
    Original Link

    RDJ, Russell Brand, Casanova (probably).

    High-energy game is well-suited for men who lack a lot of passive value — e.g., height, good-looks, etc.

    The high-energy comes down to you demonstrating your value — and your value is your personality, your charm, your charisma, etc.


    • BuenaVista
      on October 23, 2013 at 1:23 pm
      Original Link

      Danny DeVito. Prince. The little ethnic guys probably need it.

      Putting ‘high-energy game’ on a chiseled WASP with gray temples? Good god. People will call the local insane asylum and call out the National Guard. I don’t think so.


      • Scray
        on October 23, 2013 at 1:59 pm
        Original Link

        Maybe starting out, ya. But to be honest, if you had two chiseled WASPs in a bar…the more outgoing, fun guy will get the most girls. The problem on this board is that people confuse ‘high energy’ with ‘constant-qualifying/trying to impress.’

        I mean, what you ideally want is Step 1 — high energy game, which allows you to maximally DHV and land the hottest girl you can land. Step 2 — low energy game, which is just maintenance of that attraction.

        low energy game works only when SHE IS ALREADY ATTRACTED. DUCY?


        • YaReally
          on October 23, 2013 at 9:10 pm
          Original Link

          “The problem on this board is that people confuse ‘high energy’ with ‘constant-qualifying/trying to impress.’”

          This. I’m slipping on all the jizz from Buena’s mental masturbation on this. Go out more.



The Sexiness Of Shallow Communication

Original Link

via Heartiste

BuenaVista
on October 23, 2013 at 10:08 am
Original Link

I’m trying to picture ‘high energy game’. All I’m coming up with are college guys (boys being boys), Robin Williams and Jim Carey (i.e., psychos). And even Robin Williams can be wry. Jack Nicholson only uses high energy on male buds, and Warren Beatty is totally low energy.

I think high energy game would alarm the shit out of any woman over 27 with a functioning hippocampus. She’d be cycling through that gray matter of habit and routinized expectation and be thinking: “frat boy” “forex trader” “Jersey Shore” “Girls Gone Wild” and coming up with RUN AWAY NOW.

Pretty hard to imagine 007/Thomas Crowne deploying high-energy game. While it’s easy to picture a suave guy being “chosen”, if he’s 8-10 no woman will approach him. I think a suave guy with presence actually has to do the choosing, and the only way he won’t scare the shit out of a woman is by going laconic and reticent, while remaining focused.

The only time I cut loose with high energy is if I want a woman to disappear, or don’t care if she does. It’s more entertaining for me, than her, and the ones who stick around and dish it out in return can be fascinating for an extra hour or two (because they have a freaky side that the high energy licenses).

Help me out, someone, and suggest an iconic, desireable male figure over 30 who uses high energy game. I see its utility to be very low once a woman is attracted to accomplishment, protection, intelligence and wealth as much as looks. As CH’s Reader adds, above, successful people are scrupulously frugal in their conversation.


  • Scray
    on October 23, 2013 at 12:14 pm
    Original Link

    RDJ, Russell Brand, Casanova (probably).

    High-energy game is well-suited for men who lack a lot of passive value — e.g., height, good-looks, etc.

    The high-energy comes down to you demonstrating your value — and your value is your personality, your charm, your charisma, etc.


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2013 at 9:10 pm
      Original Link

      “The problem on this board is that people confuse ‘high energy’ with ‘constant-qualifying/trying to impress.’”

      This. I’m slipping on all the jizz from Buena’s mental masturbation on this. Go out more.



The Sexiness Of Shallow Communication

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 23, 2013 at 12:28 pm
Original Link

‘adhere to the golden ratio of giving your woman 2/3s of everything she gives you, verbosity presumably included.’

2/3 EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT. As time goes on, more and more women love to hear me talk. Just imagine yourself as Tony Stark. You just say whatever the fuck you want without a filter — chicks dig that. It demonstrates the exact same non-reactivity as ‘stoic silence.’

‘The more of your store you give away, the less she’ll want to browse your product line.’

This is only if you have nothing/little to offer, and so you wear out your bag of tricks in a few long-winded conversations. However, if you DEVELOP the skill of being creative, having fun observations…what you’ll get is rapt fascination. They’ll always be continuously surprised (and aroused) by what you say…because a) you continually remind them of the fact that you’re still a mystery, despite all that you’ve said, and b) you’re so much of an inscrutable force of nature that you can talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and talk and people still won’t be able to figure you out. What do we have? Mystery in a) and then overconfidence in your own mysteriousness in b)….all the ingredients of a tomahawk tinglebomb.


  • Jay in DC
    on October 23, 2013 at 2:12 pm
    Original Link

    re: talking without filter. I have the same issue in an opposite manner. I -always- am without filter and as I’ve said before I’ve lit my own dick on fire not only in a game context, but social settings, and even professionally. I am much better at dialing it back these days but your point is salient though you cannot come out of the gate like that. Once you have the hooks in, you can shed your human skin…


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2013 at 9:38 pm
      Original Link

      “though you cannot come out of the gate like that.”

      Yes you can. This is pretty much my style of game. Try it for a year and learn to calibrate it.

      Girls primarily care about whether you’re congruent. That’s why everyone loves the Stifler characte in American Pie, ya he’s an asshole but he’s completely congruent and unashamed of it so people watching the movie go “that guy’s awesome”. Same with Russel Brand, Tony Stark, Hank Moody, etc.

      The problem with most James Bond wannabes at the bar is that they’re not being laconic low-energy James Bond because that’s congruent to who they are…they’re being it because:

      1) they’ve been brainwashed to think that’s what an alpha is

      2) they’ve been brainwashed to believe that all girls want that (so in a way they’re supplicating more than the high-energy guy who’s just being himself…does the James Bond guy speak in only a few words to their bro-friends when there are no women around and they’re sitting around pre-drinking and playing Xbox before the bar? Or are they only James Bond at the bar? If you’re talkative with your friends and clam up at the bar trying to be the Jumbotron alpha, you are being incongruent and supplicating and high-quality hot girls who are surrounded by guys like that, will sniff it out)

      and/or 3) they’re hypnotized by the environment and pinging off the environment for how they should act (this is what women do, men are supposed to have a stronger frame than their environment), so they walk into a classy martini lounge or they meet a high-value girl and they go “oop, I’d better be classy so I fit in with this crowd! That high-energy “being fun” stuff might work on those slutty drunk college girls but THESE classy women would laugh at Russel Brand and after they let him be a dancing monkey and glance over to me to rescue them, we’ll cheers our martini glasses with our pinkies up and chortle together over what a silly uncouth low-value dancing monkey this Russel fellow was before she begs me to take her back to my mansion!”

      You can see these guys at every bar…standing on Death Row trying to act aloof waiting for girls to open them while their body-language oozes “I’m uncomfortable here and acting the way I think I’m supposed to act in this environment”.

      Consider high-energy as not reacting to your environment, but instead making your environment react to you.

      Scray’s droppin straight-up field wisdom in this thread. The guys who say it can’t be done or it wouldn’t work in such and such situation haven’t seen it done well or gotten good at it themselves.



The Sexiness Of Shallow Communication

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on October 23, 2013 at 12:28 pm
Original Link

‘adhere to the golden ratio of giving your woman 2/3s of everything she gives you, verbosity presumably included.’

2/3 EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT. As time goes on, more and more women love to hear me talk. Just imagine yourself as Tony Stark. You just say whatever the fuck you want without a filter — chicks dig that. It demonstrates the exact same non-reactivity as ‘stoic silence.’

‘The more of your store you give away, the less she’ll want to browse your product line.’

This is only if you have nothing/little to offer, and so you wear out your bag of tricks in a few long-winded conversations. However, if you DEVELOP the skill of being creative, having fun observations…what you’ll get is rapt fascination. They’ll always be continuously surprised (and aroused) by what you say…because a) you continually remind them of the fact that you’re still a mystery, despite all that you’ve said, and b) you’re so much of an inscrutable force of nature that you can talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and talk and people still won’t be able to figure you out. What do we have? Mystery in a) and then overconfidence in your own mysteriousness in b)….all the ingredients of a tomahawk tinglebomb.


  • Jay in DC
    on October 23, 2013 at 2:12 pm
    Original Link

    re: talking without filter. I have the same issue in an opposite manner. I -always- am without filter and as I’ve said before I’ve lit my own dick on fire not only in a game context, but social settings, and even professionally. I am much better at dialing it back these days but your point is salient though you cannot come out of the gate like that. Once you have the hooks in, you can shed your human skin…


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2013 at 9:38 pm
      Original Link

      “though you cannot come out of the gate like that.”

      Yes you can. This is pretty much my style of game. Try it for a year and learn to calibrate it.

      Girls primarily care about whether you’re congruent. That’s why everyone loves the Stifler characte in American Pie, ya he’s an asshole but he’s completely congruent and unashamed of it so people watching the movie go “that guy’s awesome”. Same with Russel Brand, Tony Stark, Hank Moody, etc.

      The problem with most James Bond wannabes at the bar is that they’re not being laconic low-energy James Bond because that’s congruent to who they are…they’re being it because:

      1) they’ve been brainwashed to think that’s what an alpha is

      2) they’ve been brainwashed to believe that all girls want that (so in a way they’re supplicating more than the high-energy guy who’s just being himself…does the James Bond guy speak in only a few words to their bro-friends when there are no women around and they’re sitting around pre-drinking and playing Xbox before the bar? Or are they only James Bond at the bar? If you’re talkative with your friends and clam up at the bar trying to be the Jumbotron alpha, you are being incongruent and supplicating and high-quality hot girls who are surrounded by guys like that, will sniff it out)

      and/or 3) they’re hypnotized by the environment and pinging off the environment for how they should act (this is what women do, men are supposed to have a stronger frame than their environment), so they walk into a classy martini lounge or they meet a high-value girl and they go “oop, I’d better be classy so I fit in with this crowd! That high-energy “being fun” stuff might work on those slutty drunk college girls but THESE classy women would laugh at Russel Brand and after they let him be a dancing monkey and glance over to me to rescue them, we’ll cheers our martini glasses with our pinkies up and chortle together over what a silly uncouth low-value dancing monkey this Russel fellow was before she begs me to take her back to my mansion!”

      You can see these guys at every bar…standing on Death Row trying to act aloof waiting for girls to open them while their body-language oozes “I’m uncomfortable here and acting the way I think I’m supposed to act in this environment”.

      Consider high-energy as not reacting to your environment, but instead making your environment react to you.

      Scray’s droppin straight-up field wisdom in this thread. The guys who say it can’t be done or it wouldn’t work in such and such situation haven’t seen it done well or gotten good at it themselves.



The Sexiness Of Shallow Communication

Original Link

via Heartiste

embracingourfemininity
on October 23, 2013 at 12:54 pm
Original Link

As an introvert myself I find it can be a little overwhelming when a man tries to talk to me in very extroverted way straight from the beginning… it makes your head spin a little, his larger than life personality unleashed straight away. It can be unsettling.

But if a man is quieter I am more inclined to feel comfortable and to even try to bring him more out of his shell to talk with me, or even be curious about him as to why he is not talking so much. It is more intriguing, it’s nice for when you are just meeting.


  • yeahokcool
    on October 23, 2013 at 1:11 pm
    Original Link

    folks, i highly recommend that you disregard this anecdotal advice. EOF, i bet you look very… let’s say… different IRL.


    • BuenaVista
      on October 23, 2013 at 1:29 pm
      Original Link

      She’s right. It’s the pauses, not the stream of words, that matter to an introverted woman with options.


      • Scray
        on October 23, 2013 at 1:53 pm
        Original Link

        I disagree. I’d describe two of the girls I regularly see as introverts, and they enjoy my extroversion. I was extroverted with them from the get-go. Demonstrating is value is demonstrating value.

        Everyone focuses on being the rock, but being a force of nature elicits the same amount of tingles.

        Whether you say a million words or two words, what matters is the attitude.


        • Scray
          on October 23, 2013 at 3:32 pm
          Original Link

          Lol no they haven’t heard it all. I agree that they get hit on. But the ‘quality’ of game is pretty low, on average. Here is what the majority of women seem to experience —

          guy they CHOOSE displaying classic ‘low-energy’ game
          guys that try to get chosen displaying high-energy insecurity/qualification

          If you are a guy that CHOOSES her with high-energy DHV’ing…. = you have a high chance of being way diff than any man she’s known.


          • YaReally
            on October 23, 2013 at 10:02 pm
            Original Link

            This.

            Other guys’ game is TERRIBLE. The hot girl is often surrounded by a social circle of super good-looking jacked rich dudes, but they don’t have game and are usually not very alpha and aren’t attractive to her.

            The guys cat-calling her and hitting on her during her day are usually low-value guys throwing awkward shit out there crossing their fingers. She’s not getting approached by alpha guys with game.

            On top of that, when a girl is a 9+, often a lot of guys put on a “shtick” and sub-consciously KNOW they’re going to get blown out, so they go over-the-top bold and in-her-face in a way that they know isn’t good game but is ego-protection because when they blow themselves out they can sub-consciously tell themselves that THEY didn’t get rejected, it was the shtick they put on that got rejected so their self-esteem stays intact. It’s like injuring yourself on purpose so you don’t have to compete in a sport event you know you’d lose at.

            On top of ALL of that, often these girls are frustrated that they can’t get rid of these guys so that a cool alpha dude can approach them. They want the guy at the other end of the bar to come say hi but they have 4 dudes blocking her from his view and scaring off other guys and she doesn’t even want to fuck those guys, and most dudes won’t approach a chick surrounded by good-looking rich-looking guys.

            Best analogy for this is from BradP that goes something like: imagine you’re going out with your buddy and all day you’ve been looking forward to it and you’re psyched and you’ve spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on bootcamps and products and you get a haircut and buy a sick new shirt and you read some game shit and you and your buddy watch some game vids to get inspired and pumped up and you’re both ready to kill the club jacked on energy and in state and you enter the club and there’s all these 10 hotties there and you’re like “fuck ya we’re gonna get a couple of these hotties tonight woo!!!!”

            …and then a group of disgusting fat 300lbs trolls approach you and your buddy and won’t leave you alone and hit on you all night and every hot girl stays away from you because they see you’re “occupied” AND the fat gross girls are family friends or something where you can’t be an asshole to them and tell them to fuck off and get lost so you can get some hotties and you look over these fatties at the 10 hottie who’s looking at you like “I sure would like to meet this guy but I’m not fighting my way through those gross girls to get to him, oh well”

            That’s what it’s like for hot girls lol

            So ya, they get approached and guys “spit game” at them, but it’s TERRIBLE game and half the time the guys are more of an annoyance than anything (but they buy her shit and give her free access to the bar and pay for vacations to Paris for her etc and she hates feeling awkward/rude so she can’t get rid of them).

            Verbosity is just faster to convey high-value in a chaotic environment because its pro-active while being passively laconic blends into the background (you can be pro-actively laconic but it’s not what 99% of the James Bond wannabes are). Plus being pro-actively verbose allows you more choice…passive laconic alphas tend to have to bang whatever chooses them because they don’t have the energy to overcome obstacles and take the girls they want. I’m not saying that makes them inferior but it’s a drawback of that style.

            Being pro-active is key. Take what you want, your game is better than 99.999% of the men that hit on her, whether you’re verbose or laconic.



The Sexiness Of Shallow Communication

Original Link

via Heartiste

embracingourfemininity
on October 23, 2013 at 12:54 pm
Original Link

As an introvert myself I find it can be a little overwhelming when a man tries to talk to me in very extroverted way straight from the beginning… it makes your head spin a little, his larger than life personality unleashed straight away. It can be unsettling.

But if a man is quieter I am more inclined to feel comfortable and to even try to bring him more out of his shell to talk with me, or even be curious about him as to why he is not talking so much. It is more intriguing, it’s nice for when you are just meeting.


  • yeahokcool
    on October 23, 2013 at 1:11 pm
    Original Link

    folks, i highly recommend that you disregard this anecdotal advice. EOF, i bet you look very… let’s say… different IRL.


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2013 at 10:02 pm
      Original Link

      This.

      Other guys’ game is TERRIBLE. The hot girl is often surrounded by a social circle of super good-looking jacked rich dudes, but they don’t have game and are usually not very alpha and aren’t attractive to her.

      The guys cat-calling her and hitting on her during her day are usually low-value guys throwing awkward shit out there crossing their fingers. She’s not getting approached by alpha guys with game.

      On top of that, when a girl is a 9+, often a lot of guys put on a “shtick” and sub-consciously KNOW they’re going to get blown out, so they go over-the-top bold and in-her-face in a way that they know isn’t good game but is ego-protection because when they blow themselves out they can sub-consciously tell themselves that THEY didn’t get rejected, it was the shtick they put on that got rejected so their self-esteem stays intact. It’s like injuring yourself on purpose so you don’t have to compete in a sport event you know you’d lose at.

      On top of ALL of that, often these girls are frustrated that they can’t get rid of these guys so that a cool alpha dude can approach them. They want the guy at the other end of the bar to come say hi but they have 4 dudes blocking her from his view and scaring off other guys and she doesn’t even want to fuck those guys, and most dudes won’t approach a chick surrounded by good-looking rich-looking guys.

      Best analogy for this is from BradP that goes something like: imagine you’re going out with your buddy and all day you’ve been looking forward to it and you’re psyched and you’ve spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on bootcamps and products and you get a haircut and buy a sick new shirt and you read some game shit and you and your buddy watch some game vids to get inspired and pumped up and you’re both ready to kill the club jacked on energy and in state and you enter the club and there’s all these 10 hotties there and you’re like “fuck ya we’re gonna get a couple of these hotties tonight woo!!!!”

      …and then a group of disgusting fat 300lbs trolls approach you and your buddy and won’t leave you alone and hit on you all night and every hot girl stays away from you because they see you’re “occupied” AND the fat gross girls are family friends or something where you can’t be an asshole to them and tell them to fuck off and get lost so you can get some hotties and you look over these fatties at the 10 hottie who’s looking at you like “I sure would like to meet this guy but I’m not fighting my way through those gross girls to get to him, oh well”

      That’s what it’s like for hot girls lol

      So ya, they get approached and guys “spit game” at them, but it’s TERRIBLE game and half the time the guys are more of an annoyance than anything (but they buy her shit and give her free access to the bar and pay for vacations to Paris for her etc and she hates feeling awkward/rude so she can’t get rid of them).

      Verbosity is just faster to convey high-value in a chaotic environment because its pro-active while being passively laconic blends into the background (you can be pro-actively laconic but it’s not what 99% of the James Bond wannabes are). Plus being pro-actively verbose allows you more choice…passive laconic alphas tend to have to bang whatever chooses them because they don’t have the energy to overcome obstacles and take the girls they want. I’m not saying that makes them inferior but it’s a drawback of that style.

      Being pro-active is key. Take what you want, your game is better than 99.999% of the men that hit on her, whether you’re verbose or laconic.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Good On Them
on October 22, 2013 at 9:27 am
Original Link

I dunno, the girls here seem pretty reasonable. He’s hiding information (his *last name* for heaven’s sake) because if they learn it they won’t want to go out with him. The girls sense that he’s not doing this to be flirty or whatever, but is actually hiding something. So they wisely balk. Good on them!

Girls: 1
Guys-who-won’t-share-last-name: 0


  • The Burninator
    on October 22, 2013 at 9:34 am
    Original Link

    Because it was demanded up front and immediately. It bespeaks of high insecurities on her part and is a definite tell that she’s paranoid by default.

    Don’t hand me the “in this day and age” crap either, this day and age is no less nor more dangerous than any other age. What she was doing is akin to a girl walking up to a guy, saying “Hi! You’re cute” and the guy demanding a recent STD test from her before he’ll let her say anything else. It’s presumptuous and chock full of hubris and arrogance.


    • RappaccinisDaughter
      on October 22, 2013 at 10:36 am
      Original Link

      If she were a business contact, would you hesitate to hand her a business card? Asking for a last name is not the same thing as demanding an SSN and a credit report.


      • The Burninator
        on October 22, 2013 at 10:42 am
        Original Link

        So you’re suggesting prostitution is the goal?

        When I meet a girl at the bar, I give my first name. If during the course of the conversation she whips out “What’s your last name” as a demand, all corporate business like, that’s a tell that she’s going to internet anal probe me. A girl who is that un-trusting even before I get to the point where I display my charming personality is somebody who will never trust ME should we ever get into a relationship.

        Business cards are because you actually intend to do business. Meet and greets in public are not the same thing. She can disqualify you, sure, but it should be about your presentation or some other factor, not because she clearly intends to do a full FB and predator search on you before consenting to deign to give you further conversation.


        • RappaccinisDaughter
          on October 22, 2013 at 10:49 am
          Original Link

          But we’re not talking about further conversation. We’re talking about a date subsequent to the conversation. One of the basic safety measures that women are encouraged to undertake is that, if you meet him alone, you tell a friend where you’re going, who you’re going with, and when you intend to return.

          Not everybody packs a pistol everywhere they go, RappaccinisDaughter-style. Especially not college students, who usually cannot legally do so. (And hell, pistol or no pistol, I still do the tell-a-friend thing. It’s a gun, not a magic wand.)

          [CH: paranoia the destroya.]


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 12:19 pm
            Original Link

            “Oh noes, not a date! Why not wait to ask then, as long as the date is in a public setting?”

            Because women run on emotion, not logic.

            The guys who are saying this girl is crazy paranoid socially inept etc aren’t banging <22yo North American chicks. This behavior is completely logical and normal in their world. It's like being mad that they let your phone calls go to voicemail and txt you back instead. You can't take "how things were back in the day" or experiences with 30+yo chicks and apply it to college girls in 2013.

            The OP is letting them enter a frame that he should be preventing from the start. He's basically asking "how do I win a fight that I'm losing" when the answer is "you shouldn't have gotten into a fight you can lose in the first place". The girls are simply acting the way their emotions tell them to, which is "try to be as familiar with the guy as possible".


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 12:24 pm
            Original Link

            “if you can’t trust me to go grab a coffee at Starbucks, a big honking public place with lots of people around, because you think that somehow I’m going to anal rape you”

            He hasn’t built comfort/rapport with her, so no, she can’t go grab coffee with him. Because he’s just a stranger at this point. A stranger who hasn’t built enough attraction for her to overlook not knowing more about him. It’s not that she thinks he’s going to rape her, it’s that she has too many question marks that he hasn’t diffused.

            This is the result of sloppy/bad game on his end, not some crazy paranoia on hers.

            “Ergo, NEXT.”

            You can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked. That’s her Next’ing you and an indicator that there are loose screws in your game that need to be tightened.


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 12:40 pm
            Original Link

            You’re free to think its wrong all you want, but that doesn’t change anything. They’re still reacting to the guy’s lack of game and its still possible to avoid triggering this reaction. These are facts. You can think they’re stupid, but that isn’t relevant.

            You’re basically being mad at the bomb for blowing up when you cut the wrong wire. “Fuck this bomb, I’m not even going to diffuse it, it’s not worth my time!!!!” Okay, that’s fair, but you walked away from a diffusable bomb without diffusing it, so you can’t count that as “I diffused it.” So like I say, you can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked. You can walk away from one, but you didn’t Next her, you just didn’t have the game/skill/effort/time/energy-investment to bang her.

            There’s no shame in that, it’s not an insult to your manhood or anything. There are lots of girls that have seemed like too much effort to me to waste my time on that I’ve bailed on…but I don’t tell myself I’m Next’ing them because that would be bullshitting myself to save my ego face (“it’s not that I couldn’t handle that, it’s that I Next’ed her like a boss!!”)


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 12:54 pm
            Original Link

            You’re letting your baggage/ego cloud your judgement.

            Meeting a guy on a college campus is different than meeting him at the bar. Thinking its the same is like thinking meeting a friend of your family is the same as meeting a stranger in hotel in the Bahamas. The two situations are completely different because of the environment/context.

            You’re looking at this like its some kind of big feminist battle to the death for the virtue of males blah blah blah. It’s not that epic:

            - She’s in an environment (college student) where it’s normal for her to know the people she hangs out with because everyone is socially connected around her.

            - This guy is stepping outside of her comfort zone because she doesn’t know anything about him like she does with other guys (aka her NORM)

            - He isn’t providing her with the feeling of knowing him by providing comfort

            - so she’s naturally attempting to find out about him to build the comfort that he isn’t providing, so that this relationship fits into her norm of what all her dozens of other college relationships fit into (ie – that he is someone socially connected to her world)

            You’re bringing all sorts of weird baggage to this. Take a chill pill yo, it’s nothing to do with the end of civilization or the witch hunt for male rapists. She’s just trying to fit him into her reality in a way that makes sense to her.


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 1:09 pm
            Original Link

            Serious Q: have you or a one of your buddies had a false rape accusation scare?


        • The Burninator
          on October 22, 2013 at 1:18 pm
          Original Link

          See? The assumption that because I don’t bare all to the world and find it distasteful, dangerous and paranoid and express that in public, there must be something dark lurking in the background? That itself is a tacit assumption borne by this trend, if you think about it.

          No, I haven’t, for the record, nor anything close. If others have, I don’t know about it. I do know a guy who had false sexual harassment charges slapped on him, but that’s not likely in the same vein as what you’re asking, and it had nothing to do with social media in any event.


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 1:33 pm
            Original Link

            Get off your paranoia-bend holy shit dude.

            No one is saying every guy should be on Facebook and Tweeting status updates while instagramming pics of his dinner. I’m saying you’re overreacting to behavior that has no malicious intent because you have a stick up your ass.

            And that’s fine, you can walk around wearing a tinfoil hat and a scowl thinking you’re winning some imaginary victory over some college chick who asked an innocent question, but that shit is baggage in your head, not actually playing out in front of you.


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 2:30 pm
            Original Link

            “Before you hit Post Reply, mull it around from a view other than your own as if you were defending my side of the discussion”

            The part you don’t get is that your view is the view of a guy who bangs 30+yo chicks and is wildly out of touch with the reality of <23yo chicks.

            You're trying to force a square peg ("I want her to not ask stuff about me until we're on a date!") into a round hole ("<23yo people are socially connected more than 30+yo people or people from the 1980s"). I'm telling you that their world is different from what you think it should be. You're taking it as some kind of personal insult when it's not. Technology has created a generation that is highly socially connected and it's weird to them when someone who's pretending to be a part of that world (ie – the Op) isn't open to being socially connected like everyone else male and female that they associate with daily is.

            This is not a difficult concept to grasp. You're doing the equivalent of being offended that "kids these days" text instead of talk on the phone, or watch color TV instead of black & white TV. It's completely illogical. You can be offended by it, but they're not doing anything to purposely attack you, you are simply out of touch with their reality and apparently too out of touch to understand that.

            Spend some time with the <23yo crowd before you press Reply.


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 9:54 pm
            Original Link

            @Hugh
            ““more socially connected” is a strange choice of phrase.”

            I agree. I should have said more SUPERFICIALLY socially connected. Because her getting your Facebook isn’t really to KNOW you or to do sex offender registry background checks etc, she just wants to feel that you’re “real” and a part of her world/reality.

            It’s not that she thinks you’re a possible rapist, it’s that the OP hasn’t fed her enough “I feel like I KNOW him” feelings, so she’s attempting to get those herself the only way she knows how.

            Literally half+ of these chicks would probably be happy if he simply had a Facebook page even if it had one picture of him on it and was locked to Private and he didn’t accept her Friend request (“no, my Facebook is only for people I’m close to, I don’t collect a thousand pretend-friends like girls do, my time is valuable”). It’s not that they need info, it’s that they need to feel like he’s real and exists and is who he says he is.

            That’s why I say, if the OP built more comfort/rapport, sharing stuff about himself that builds an emotional connection but doesn’t reveal stuff he doesn’t want to reveal, she’ll get her fix of “I feel like I KNOW him” and lay off. In absence of providing that FOR her, she tries to find it in the normal common method that <23yo people in 2013 use, which is to connect on Facebook.

            A guy can rally against this "Voyeur Culture" but it's like rallying against people listening to CDs instead of records. Like good on you for fighting the good fight in your head, but the world has changed and you're showing that you're out of touch with the <23 world just like you would be if you called anyone who listened to CDs instead of records mentally damaged and unhealthy and stupid etc. like alright good luck with that but when you quit flipping out about it and actually listen to a CD or two you'll find that it's really not the big deal you're making it out in your head to be.

            I'll be at an 18-25yo college bar this weekend and I can guarantee 99% of the people in there have Facebook and connect on it to feel comfort, not to do crazy sex offender registry background checks lol

            (for the record as I've said before I don't use Facebook, Twitter, etc. and I don't recommend other guys use them…I recommend guys tighten up their game and feed the girl the comfort feelings she needs so that they don't end up with her digging to find those feelings her way)



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Good On Them
on October 22, 2013 at 9:27 am
Original Link

I dunno, the girls here seem pretty reasonable. He’s hiding information (his *last name* for heaven’s sake) because if they learn it they won’t want to go out with him. The girls sense that he’s not doing this to be flirty or whatever, but is actually hiding something. So they wisely balk. Good on them!

Girls: 1
Guys-who-won’t-share-last-name: 0


  • The Burninator
    on October 22, 2013 at 9:34 am
    Original Link

    Because it was demanded up front and immediately. It bespeaks of high insecurities on her part and is a definite tell that she’s paranoid by default.

    Don’t hand me the “in this day and age” crap either, this day and age is no less nor more dangerous than any other age. What she was doing is akin to a girl walking up to a guy, saying “Hi! You’re cute” and the guy demanding a recent STD test from her before he’ll let her say anything else. It’s presumptuous and chock full of hubris and arrogance.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 12:19 pm
      Original Link

      “Oh noes, not a date! Why not wait to ask then, as long as the date is in a public setting?”

      Because women run on emotion, not logic.

      The guys who are saying this girl is crazy paranoid socially inept etc aren’t banging <22yo North American chicks. This behavior is completely logical and normal in their world. It's like being mad that they let your phone calls go to voicemail and txt you back instead. You can't take "how things were back in the day" or experiences with 30+yo chicks and apply it to college girls in 2013.

      The OP is letting them enter a frame that he should be preventing from the start. He's basically asking "how do I win a fight that I'm losing" when the answer is "you shouldn't have gotten into a fight you can lose in the first place". The girls are simply acting the way their emotions tell them to, which is "try to be as familiar with the guy as possible".


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 12:24 pm
      Original Link

      “if you can’t trust me to go grab a coffee at Starbucks, a big honking public place with lots of people around, because you think that somehow I’m going to anal rape you”

      He hasn’t built comfort/rapport with her, so no, she can’t go grab coffee with him. Because he’s just a stranger at this point. A stranger who hasn’t built enough attraction for her to overlook not knowing more about him. It’s not that she thinks he’s going to rape her, it’s that she has too many question marks that he hasn’t diffused.

      This is the result of sloppy/bad game on his end, not some crazy paranoia on hers.

      “Ergo, NEXT.”

      You can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked. That’s her Next’ing you and an indicator that there are loose screws in your game that need to be tightened.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 12:40 pm
      Original Link

      You’re free to think its wrong all you want, but that doesn’t change anything. They’re still reacting to the guy’s lack of game and its still possible to avoid triggering this reaction. These are facts. You can think they’re stupid, but that isn’t relevant.

      You’re basically being mad at the bomb for blowing up when you cut the wrong wire. “Fuck this bomb, I’m not even going to diffuse it, it’s not worth my time!!!!” Okay, that’s fair, but you walked away from a diffusable bomb without diffusing it, so you can’t count that as “I diffused it.” So like I say, you can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked. You can walk away from one, but you didn’t Next her, you just didn’t have the game/skill/effort/time/energy-investment to bang her.

      There’s no shame in that, it’s not an insult to your manhood or anything. There are lots of girls that have seemed like too much effort to me to waste my time on that I’ve bailed on…but I don’t tell myself I’m Next’ing them because that would be bullshitting myself to save my ego face (“it’s not that I couldn’t handle that, it’s that I Next’ed her like a boss!!”)


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 12:54 pm
      Original Link

      You’re letting your baggage/ego cloud your judgement.

      Meeting a guy on a college campus is different than meeting him at the bar. Thinking its the same is like thinking meeting a friend of your family is the same as meeting a stranger in hotel in the Bahamas. The two situations are completely different because of the environment/context.

      You’re looking at this like its some kind of big feminist battle to the death for the virtue of males blah blah blah. It’s not that epic:

      – She’s in an environment (college student) where it’s normal for her to know the people she hangs out with because everyone is socially connected around her.

      – This guy is stepping outside of her comfort zone because she doesn’t know anything about him like she does with other guys (aka her NORM)

      – He isn’t providing her with the feeling of knowing him by providing comfort

      – so she’s naturally attempting to find out about him to build the comfort that he isn’t providing, so that this relationship fits into her norm of what all her dozens of other college relationships fit into (ie – that he is someone socially connected to her world)

      You’re bringing all sorts of weird baggage to this. Take a chill pill yo, it’s nothing to do with the end of civilization or the witch hunt for male rapists. She’s just trying to fit him into her reality in a way that makes sense to her.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 1:09 pm
      Original Link

      Serious Q: have you or a one of your buddies had a false rape accusation scare?


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 1:33 pm
      Original Link

      Get off your paranoia-bend holy shit dude.

      No one is saying every guy should be on Facebook and Tweeting status updates while instagramming pics of his dinner. I’m saying you’re overreacting to behavior that has no malicious intent because you have a stick up your ass.

      And that’s fine, you can walk around wearing a tinfoil hat and a scowl thinking you’re winning some imaginary victory over some college chick who asked an innocent question, but that shit is baggage in your head, not actually playing out in front of you.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 2:30 pm
      Original Link

      “Before you hit Post Reply, mull it around from a view other than your own as if you were defending my side of the discussion”

      The part you don’t get is that your view is the view of a guy who bangs 30+yo chicks and is wildly out of touch with the reality of <23yo chicks.

      You're trying to force a square peg ("I want her to not ask stuff about me until we're on a date!") into a round hole ("<23yo people are socially connected more than 30+yo people or people from the 1980s"). I'm telling you that their world is different from what you think it should be. You're taking it as some kind of personal insult when it's not. Technology has created a generation that is highly socially connected and it's weird to them when someone who's pretending to be a part of that world (ie – the Op) isn't open to being socially connected like everyone else male and female that they associate with daily is.

      This is not a difficult concept to grasp. You're doing the equivalent of being offended that "kids these days" text instead of talk on the phone, or watch color TV instead of black & white TV. It's completely illogical. You can be offended by it, but they're not doing anything to purposely attack you, you are simply out of touch with their reality and apparently too out of touch to understand that.

      Spend some time with the <23yo crowd before you press Reply.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 9:54 pm
      Original Link

      @Hugh
      ““more socially connected” is a strange choice of phrase.”

      I agree. I should have said more SUPERFICIALLY socially connected. Because her getting your Facebook isn’t really to KNOW you or to do sex offender registry background checks etc, she just wants to feel that you’re “real” and a part of her world/reality.

      It’s not that she thinks you’re a possible rapist, it’s that the OP hasn’t fed her enough “I feel like I KNOW him” feelings, so she’s attempting to get those herself the only way she knows how.

      Literally half+ of these chicks would probably be happy if he simply had a Facebook page even if it had one picture of him on it and was locked to Private and he didn’t accept her Friend request (“no, my Facebook is only for people I’m close to, I don’t collect a thousand pretend-friends like girls do, my time is valuable”). It’s not that they need info, it’s that they need to feel like he’s real and exists and is who he says he is.

      That’s why I say, if the OP built more comfort/rapport, sharing stuff about himself that builds an emotional connection but doesn’t reveal stuff he doesn’t want to reveal, she’ll get her fix of “I feel like I KNOW him” and lay off. In absence of providing that FOR her, she tries to find it in the normal common method that <23yo people in 2013 use, which is to connect on Facebook.

      A guy can rally against this "Voyeur Culture" but it's like rallying against people listening to CDs instead of records. Like good on you for fighting the good fight in your head, but the world has changed and you're showing that you're out of touch with the <23 world just like you would be if you called anyone who listened to CDs instead of records mentally damaged and unhealthy and stupid etc. like alright good luck with that but when you quit flipping out about it and actually listen to a CD or two you'll find that it's really not the big deal you're making it out in your head to be.

      I'll be at an 18-25yo college bar this weekend and I can guarantee 99% of the people in there have Facebook and connect on it to feel comfort, not to do crazy sex offender registry background checks lol

      (for the record as I've said before I don't use Facebook, Twitter, etc. and I don't recommend other guys use them…I recommend guys tighten up their game and feed the girl the comfort feelings she needs so that they don't end up with her digging to find those feelings her way)



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 22, 2013 at 10:53 am
Original Link

OP is playing mysterious stranger game in an environment where the girls are submerged in social circle game so he’s triggering red flags.

They’re literally living day-to-day at college in a “do you know this James guy I met at a party?” “James Jones? Ya he’s my roomie’s brother’s friend’s ex, he’s an asshole you should stay away from him, I have him on Facebook here’s his profile” environment. Like that’s their world right now.

She’s going to snoop the fuck out of him with his last name, of course. Because she wants to know who this guy is…make sure he goes to school there, see if he’s dated any of her friends, make sure he isn’t married if he’s clearly an older guy, make sure he doesn’t club baby seals for a living or run a PUA blog, etc.

None of this is relevant of course, in terms of attraction. He could work in a baby grinding factory and, if she’s attracted enough, she’ll say “that’s cool, I don’t even like babies, there are too many of them in the world anyway!”

His problem is he isn’t building enough attraction/comfort/rapport before she’s giving him the 3rd degree questioning. He’s going for the #-close which gives her too much time to think between the # and the Day2…which would be alright if he built comfort/rapport but he doesn’t, so she asks questions. So here are some possible fixes:

1) Tighten up your Attraction game and escalate faster. No more #s. Push her through a bigger rollercoaster of emotions, more teasing, push/pull, cocky/funny, spike her buying temperature thru the roof, and push for the insta-date right then and there or for that afternoon after she’s out of class, and go for the pull back to your place on that same-day date. Basically barrage her with emotions and pounce before she can fall back into logical mode or have conversations with her friends who ask for details about you…if you can fuck her quickly, then you can reveal all and she’ll hamster-rationalize it away as no big deal.

2) Work in more comfort/rapport on the initial meet. A 60 second #-close between classes will get you a # but a ton of this shit to deal with. An 90 min conversation in the college library or a lunch hour together will give you time to build comfort/rapport and share stuff about you that you’re alright with her knowing…share deep personal things that are emotional topics, instead of gay resume info like your last name, job, etc. Make her feel like she’s known you for years and that you know her soul, etc. Still push for the meetup as soon as possible, but if she feels like she knows who you are she’ll be less inquisitive…a friend going “but you don’t even know his last name” will get brushed off with “it’s okay trust me he’s amazing we talked for an hour and he told me about how when he was a kid his parents gave away his puppy and–” lol

3) Lie. Just give a fake last name that doesn’t pop anything up on the net. Tell her you’re not really a computer guy and don’t use Facebook and Twitter and shit because you’re not a 16yo girl. Then after you bang, if it comes up again, you can tell her your real name and say “I had a few girls stalk me before so I don’t tell girls my real name until I trust them” and then you get the bonus of her feeling special that you trust her to know your real name.

4) Social proof. If she knows or thinks that you know people she knows or who know people she knows etc., you’re less of a stranger. But you probably can’t do this since you don’t actually go to school there lol

Once you allow her to enter the inquisitive frame, anything you do that isn’t answering her questions will just make it look more and more like you have something to hide. I’ve run into girls who’ve told me they won’t meet up until they’ve seen my Facebook because they’ve run into guys who have wives/kids and I tell them “I don’t use Facebook” and we simply reached an impasse where I had to bail on the sarge because her rule was too strong in her mind, anything I did was looking more and more suspicious to her because of her past experiences, and I was communicating via text so I wasn’t in a position to build enough attraction to diffuse that (if she had asked me that stuff in person, I could use game to work around it, but it’s harder to build value from a deficit via text).

I’ve fucked girls who have no idea what I do for a living, what my last name is, how old I am, etc. I had a fuckbuddy for like 8 months of bi-weekly banging who basically only knew my first name. None of that stuff is relevant to get the lay if your game is tight (either you can Attract hard and escalate fast, or build solid comfort/rapport, either way), and once you’ve gotten the lay she’ll hamster-rationalize away your flaws…because she only sleeps with high-quality men (in her mind), so if she slept with you, you must be high-quality otherwise she’d be a slut, so you must not be old, you must be mature, you must not be jobless you must be a free-spirit, etc. lol

The jist of all of this is: feed her shit to keep her hamster busy (hard fast Attraction or lots of customized comfort/rapport) and escalate to the lay before the hamster settles down and starts digging for details.


  • Lucky White Male
    on October 22, 2013 at 11:19 am
    Original Link

    Well said as usual


    • Lucky White Male
      on October 22, 2013 at 11:30 am
      Original Link

      Ya,

      One other thing: can you enlighten me on – what is this thing with Twenty- something girls and whether a guy is married?

      My impression is that these girls think they are somehow entitled to have a perfect situation approach them – a Mr. Right neither married or even attached. My take is, maybe I still have some Gamma delusion going on, is that I am top 5 if not best offers they will ever get in their fucking life – whether I am married with kids, or in a LTR, or have 5 other girlfriends.

      The reaction I get is puzzling: these girls act pissed off and angry, and then if I pursue, they are trying to play the angle that I am a creepy stalker making then feel uncomfortable. This is about a good 50% -80% of mid twenties girls.

      I take it as: they are really actually “into” me but cannot accept the fact I’m married or otherwise involved

      So to assuage their egos, they rationalize it as – this creepy older guy is showing sexual interest in me. This is not all, but a good percentage. Meanwhile every single one of them are giving me IOI’s out the ass – and the existing guys they are hooking up with (I know first hand) legitimately could not hold a candle to me social status wise.

      These girls are not exactly hot for their present options : otherwise why would you be flirting with me?


      • YaReally
        on October 22, 2013 at 12:07 pm
        Original Link

        “what is this thing with Twenty- something girls and whether a guy is married?

        My impression is that these girls think they are somehow entitled to have a perfect situation approach them – a Mr. Right neither married or even attached.”

        Answered your own question. :)

        “My take is, maybe I still have some Gamma delusion going on, is that I am top 5 if not best offers they will ever get in their fucking life – whether I am married with kids, or in a LTR, or have 5 other girlfriends.”

        This is probably an accurate assessment. But you’re using logic, and girls make decisions based on emotion not logic. Essentially all they care about is that you being taken triggers their social conditioning and instincts to feel “icky” about it. It doesn’t matter how logically positive a net outcome being with you would result in. It’s the same mechanic that makes people not want to go to the dentist and risk feeling pain/fear/etc even tho logically going to the dentist is a beneficial thing. Your frustration is the same frustration the dentist feels when he has to remind you to come in for a check-up. “I’m trying to HELP you here, goddamnit. Quit making this difficult, can’t you see the net positive??”

        I can tell girls I have a GF and still bang them because I know how to diffuse the parts of my being taken that make them feel “icky”. I don’t hide having other girls, because being surprised to find that out makes them feel icky. Same time I don’t talk about other girls much because dwelling on it makes them feel icky. When I talk about relationships everything I say comes from the attitude that I view monogamy as silly and unnatural and that all I offer is casual no-strings fun and if it turns into more, cool, but I’m not actively looking for that, because all of that helps make it feel less icky to fuck me because she’s not doing anything “wrong” since in my frame/reality, it’s not wrong and what I feel she feels since women ping off their environment for how they should feel about things.

        I’ll also talk about how my girlfriend knows I fool around now and then and we have an open relationship and she’s alright with it. She doesn’t want to know the details but I’m allowed to have fun if I meet someone I have chemistry with etc etc. again this removes the “icky” factor because we’re not sneaking around and I’m removing worries about my GF being an angry psycho who will kill her etc. (some girls legit worry about this lol)

        Once I’ve disarmed all these “icky” points, there’s basically nothing left for her ASD to react to. I’ve removed all the red flags and he ASD basically goes “well shit, I got nothin’. I guess you might as well go ahead and fuck him”

        I also like to stress the hierarchy after the first lay, so that the girl understands my Primary GF is more important than her and that I love her etc. like so she knows she’s a Secondary. Women will accept this if your frame that its normal/okay is strong and if she’s attracted to you. They just want you to know with certainty where they stand. Like the Joker says “nobody panics when everything goes “according to plan” even if the plan is horrifying.”

        Girls have recommended restaurants to take my girlfriend to and wine to try with her etc while we’re cuddle-talking after banging. That was a mind-fuck at first lol but it’s logical. They respect me for having boundaries etc and because I treat my GF high-value by not talking bad about her (I’ve told girls who talk smack about her that they don’t get to talk like that about her or they can GTFO) and because I’m up front about everything etc.

        To be fair this doesn’t work on every girl. Some will simply not be able to be okay with it. But the % it works on is a LOT higher (50-70% probably) than I expected before I started trying it (I figured only like 10% would be okay with it). And I’m alright with it screening some girls out because it means the ones I do get won’t bring me much drama.

        “The reaction I get is puzzling: these girls act pissed off and angry,”

        They’re not mad because you’re taken, they’re mad because you don’t know how to make you being take not feel “icky” to them, so they want to bone you but your lack of diffusing their ASD/LMR/etc is preventing them from getting to bone you.

        This is similar to when a girl wants a guy to just “get it” that she likes him without her having to tell him. She gets frustrated because she likes him and wants him to know she likes him but she can’t expressly SAY she likes him because that triggers her ASD so she’s frustrated and mad at him for not “getting it” and making it happen.

        Understand that this isn’t their fault, they aren’t retarded and acting irrational. They are acting perfectly rational just like the girls in the OP’s question. The problem is that your game needs tweaking/work to diffuse this, just like the OP’s game needs work to diffuse his situ.


        • Lucky White Male
          on October 22, 2013 at 6:03 pm
          Original Link

          Thank you, great analysis. You are like a Svengali of Game – I dont know how you know all this shit

          So just to make clear – It seems like you think this kind of game IS doable even with twenties girls, but you need to remove the “ickiness” to it, correct?

          In comparison, I see that Jay below thinks “married man game” is basically complete non-starter. So I’m curious whether you agree or disagree with this


          • YaReally
            on October 22, 2013 at 9:39 pm
            Original Link

            “I’m curious whether you agree or disagree with this”

            I agree it’s a thousand times more difficult with “marriage” than with other arrangements, but the principle/concept still holds: ie – if you can remove the “icky” factor for the girl, she’ll be okay with it.

            The problem here, which I agree with, is that like someone said the 20s-something’s still have the romantic Disney view of marriage that 30+yo’s with more life experience don’t, so the married label carries a thousand times more “icky” factor to them that you would have to diffuse…to the point where it could be either too difficult or feel like too much work for you to diffuse, or she may not give you enough of an opportunity TO diffuse it because of it triggering too much “icky” feeling.

            BUT, it’s not impossible. That part I disagree with. Your options are basically:

            1) figure out how to massively diffuse the defcon 2. It’d take a shitload of frame control and practice and choosing the right words and shit to learn how to calibrate presenting your situation but its possible…you won’t get 100% of the girls obviously but you could probably increase your success rate from 0% to 10-20%. To contrast, if you were just “in a relationship” this could get you 50-70%.

            2) screen hard for girls who’s “icky” reflex isn’t triggered at defcon 2, like girls who don’t believe in marriage or who have had LTRs go sour or who get off on “being bad” or who are in shitty relationships etc. before mentioning it. These chicks are out there, but they’re probably going to be headcases in general so keep them at arm’s length. Again this is like a 10% thing and if you were just “in a relationship” you’d get more of a 30-50% rate with this (most chicks need some convincing).

            3) tell the truth sarcastically lol this a little sneaky but you can agree & amplify and exaggerate shit so that it sounds silly. Like “oh you wouldn’t want me, I’m obviously married with a kids and cheating on my wife. I mean I’m an older man so clearly I have a ton of baggage and drama. My wife and kids are hiding in a bush watching us right now as I destroy their lives and our happy home. I want a dozen more kids but my wife doesn’t put out because I’m fat and ugly and hideous so I need you to be my second wife and pop out babies for me. We’ll all live together like a reality TV show.” and just keep making it worse and worse but technically admitting truth that she doesn’t realize is true, and then when you bang her and she eventually realizes you’re married you can say “ya I told you at the start duh” and cross your fingers that you’ve built enough attraction with her and can minimize the blowout enough that you can chill her out about it. This is pretty underhanded and will probably lead to drama. Girls sometimes ask me if I’m married because I’m clearly in my 30s and I use agree/amplify like this to neutralize it, but it works for me because I’m congruent to not being married (ie – there’s no sub-communications that I’m hiding something) and there’s no “surprise, I wasn’t kidding!” reveal at the end so I don’t get drama from it.

            4) lie. Don’t use the words marriage/married/wife, don’t wear your ring, don’t admit to it, sneak around, say you have a GF not a wife, don’t ever let them know the truth. This is probably the highest % play, but it comes with the most drama because if she DOES figure it out she’ll feel massively betrayed and used and like you’re a scumbag and you could end up with her telling your wife etc. to me this isnt worth the possible consequences.

            5) omit telling her about it or lie, and simply go for the quick ONS followed by never seeing or talking to her again. Pretend to be on vacation or like you travel for business and can’t actually date etc so you disqualify yourself from building any kind of bond with her where she’d start digging for more info on you.

            6) work on your Attraction game till its SO tight and involves so many fast Buying Temp spikes and an emotional rollercoasters and shiny objects and shit and escalate so fast that she doesn’t have time to think and just goes with her emotions in the moment. Watch some in-field footage by the guys at RSD for their style of game, where it’s fast and in-her-face and cuts the space and escalates quick etc. VS classic Mystery Method game where you invest in a few hours of comfort or go on a Day 2 etc and she has time to get curious. If you do this tho, and she finds out after the lay that you’re married, you’ll have to minimize the blowout and chill her out…you’ll have her “i want to rationalize away this guy’s faults” hamster slightly leaning toward your side because your dick was in her, but it’ll be a super volatile situation that’s likely to blow up in your face.

            So like I say the principle is the same: “remove the “icky” and she’ll fuck you”, but I agree that actual marriage triggers a LOT of “icky”. You handicapped yourself by getting married so you put the game on Expert mode lol

            But no, I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. You can transport nitro-glycerin, it’s just a lot harder to transport than water.

            Also “marriage” is the only one that I would say is a problem. Being divorced = no big deal cause maybe that wasn’t your fault maybe you married a shitty chick. Hell these days they may have a mid-20s friend who’s divorced already. Also having a kid = no big deal. Same thing, they probably have friends with kids already.

            That said, divorce/kids aren’t things you need to bring up before sex because neither of those mean you’re not single. A legit marriage is something you’d probably want to either air before sex or never ever admit to ever, just because banging her then turning out to be married will trigger all sorts of sleazeball triggers and Buyer’s Remorse and shit which can bring drama to your life.

            At the end of the day, the only reason you’re having these conversations about your life is because you’re giving them time to think or allowing the frame of that stuff to happen. ie – if you ran tighter Attraction game and escalated faster, to where she doesn’t have time to ask a lot of questions, you could bypass all of this. The problem there is that after the emotional high wears off she’ll start asking questions and then you have a high risk of drama. That doesn’t mean that running fast Attract game is the way to go, I’m just saying the logic under this all is consistent.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 22, 2013 at 10:53 am
Original Link

OP is playing mysterious stranger game in an environment where the girls are submerged in social circle game so he’s triggering red flags.

They’re literally living day-to-day at college in a “do you know this James guy I met at a party?” “James Jones? Ya he’s my roomie’s brother’s friend’s ex, he’s an asshole you should stay away from him, I have him on Facebook here’s his profile” environment. Like that’s their world right now.

She’s going to snoop the fuck out of him with his last name, of course. Because she wants to know who this guy is…make sure he goes to school there, see if he’s dated any of her friends, make sure he isn’t married if he’s clearly an older guy, make sure he doesn’t club baby seals for a living or run a PUA blog, etc.

None of this is relevant of course, in terms of attraction. He could work in a baby grinding factory and, if she’s attracted enough, she’ll say “that’s cool, I don’t even like babies, there are too many of them in the world anyway!”

His problem is he isn’t building enough attraction/comfort/rapport before she’s giving him the 3rd degree questioning. He’s going for the #-close which gives her too much time to think between the # and the Day2…which would be alright if he built comfort/rapport but he doesn’t, so she asks questions. So here are some possible fixes:

1) Tighten up your Attraction game and escalate faster. No more #s. Push her through a bigger rollercoaster of emotions, more teasing, push/pull, cocky/funny, spike her buying temperature thru the roof, and push for the insta-date right then and there or for that afternoon after she’s out of class, and go for the pull back to your place on that same-day date. Basically barrage her with emotions and pounce before she can fall back into logical mode or have conversations with her friends who ask for details about you…if you can fuck her quickly, then you can reveal all and she’ll hamster-rationalize it away as no big deal.

2) Work in more comfort/rapport on the initial meet. A 60 second #-close between classes will get you a # but a ton of this shit to deal with. An 90 min conversation in the college library or a lunch hour together will give you time to build comfort/rapport and share stuff about you that you’re alright with her knowing…share deep personal things that are emotional topics, instead of gay resume info like your last name, job, etc. Make her feel like she’s known you for years and that you know her soul, etc. Still push for the meetup as soon as possible, but if she feels like she knows who you are she’ll be less inquisitive…a friend going “but you don’t even know his last name” will get brushed off with “it’s okay trust me he’s amazing we talked for an hour and he told me about how when he was a kid his parents gave away his puppy and–” lol

3) Lie. Just give a fake last name that doesn’t pop anything up on the net. Tell her you’re not really a computer guy and don’t use Facebook and Twitter and shit because you’re not a 16yo girl. Then after you bang, if it comes up again, you can tell her your real name and say “I had a few girls stalk me before so I don’t tell girls my real name until I trust them” and then you get the bonus of her feeling special that you trust her to know your real name.

4) Social proof. If she knows or thinks that you know people she knows or who know people she knows etc., you’re less of a stranger. But you probably can’t do this since you don’t actually go to school there lol

Once you allow her to enter the inquisitive frame, anything you do that isn’t answering her questions will just make it look more and more like you have something to hide. I’ve run into girls who’ve told me they won’t meet up until they’ve seen my Facebook because they’ve run into guys who have wives/kids and I tell them “I don’t use Facebook” and we simply reached an impasse where I had to bail on the sarge because her rule was too strong in her mind, anything I did was looking more and more suspicious to her because of her past experiences, and I was communicating via text so I wasn’t in a position to build enough attraction to diffuse that (if she had asked me that stuff in person, I could use game to work around it, but it’s harder to build value from a deficit via text).

I’ve fucked girls who have no idea what I do for a living, what my last name is, how old I am, etc. I had a fuckbuddy for like 8 months of bi-weekly banging who basically only knew my first name. None of that stuff is relevant to get the lay if your game is tight (either you can Attract hard and escalate fast, or build solid comfort/rapport, either way), and once you’ve gotten the lay she’ll hamster-rationalize away your flaws…because she only sleeps with high-quality men (in her mind), so if she slept with you, you must be high-quality otherwise she’d be a slut, so you must not be old, you must be mature, you must not be jobless you must be a free-spirit, etc. lol

The jist of all of this is: feed her shit to keep her hamster busy (hard fast Attraction or lots of customized comfort/rapport) and escalate to the lay before the hamster settles down and starts digging for details.


  • Lucky White Male
    on October 22, 2013 at 11:19 am
    Original Link

    Well said as usual


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 12:07 pm
      Original Link

      “what is this thing with Twenty- something girls and whether a guy is married?

      My impression is that these girls think they are somehow entitled to have a perfect situation approach them – a Mr. Right neither married or even attached.”

      Answered your own question. :)

      “My take is, maybe I still have some Gamma delusion going on, is that I am top 5 if not best offers they will ever get in their fucking life – whether I am married with kids, or in a LTR, or have 5 other girlfriends.”

      This is probably an accurate assessment. But you’re using logic, and girls make decisions based on emotion not logic. Essentially all they care about is that you being taken triggers their social conditioning and instincts to feel “icky” about it. It doesn’t matter how logically positive a net outcome being with you would result in. It’s the same mechanic that makes people not want to go to the dentist and risk feeling pain/fear/etc even tho logically going to the dentist is a beneficial thing. Your frustration is the same frustration the dentist feels when he has to remind you to come in for a check-up. “I’m trying to HELP you here, goddamnit. Quit making this difficult, can’t you see the net positive??”

      I can tell girls I have a GF and still bang them because I know how to diffuse the parts of my being taken that make them feel “icky”. I don’t hide having other girls, because being surprised to find that out makes them feel icky. Same time I don’t talk about other girls much because dwelling on it makes them feel icky. When I talk about relationships everything I say comes from the attitude that I view monogamy as silly and unnatural and that all I offer is casual no-strings fun and if it turns into more, cool, but I’m not actively looking for that, because all of that helps make it feel less icky to fuck me because she’s not doing anything “wrong” since in my frame/reality, it’s not wrong and what I feel she feels since women ping off their environment for how they should feel about things.

      I’ll also talk about how my girlfriend knows I fool around now and then and we have an open relationship and she’s alright with it. She doesn’t want to know the details but I’m allowed to have fun if I meet someone I have chemistry with etc etc. again this removes the “icky” factor because we’re not sneaking around and I’m removing worries about my GF being an angry psycho who will kill her etc. (some girls legit worry about this lol)

      Once I’ve disarmed all these “icky” points, there’s basically nothing left for her ASD to react to. I’ve removed all the red flags and he ASD basically goes “well shit, I got nothin’. I guess you might as well go ahead and fuck him”

      I also like to stress the hierarchy after the first lay, so that the girl understands my Primary GF is more important than her and that I love her etc. like so she knows she’s a Secondary. Women will accept this if your frame that its normal/okay is strong and if she’s attracted to you. They just want you to know with certainty where they stand. Like the Joker says “nobody panics when everything goes “according to plan” even if the plan is horrifying.”

      Girls have recommended restaurants to take my girlfriend to and wine to try with her etc while we’re cuddle-talking after banging. That was a mind-fuck at first lol but it’s logical. They respect me for having boundaries etc and because I treat my GF high-value by not talking bad about her (I’ve told girls who talk smack about her that they don’t get to talk like that about her or they can GTFO) and because I’m up front about everything etc.

      To be fair this doesn’t work on every girl. Some will simply not be able to be okay with it. But the % it works on is a LOT higher (50-70% probably) than I expected before I started trying it (I figured only like 10% would be okay with it). And I’m alright with it screening some girls out because it means the ones I do get won’t bring me much drama.

      “The reaction I get is puzzling: these girls act pissed off and angry,”

      They’re not mad because you’re taken, they’re mad because you don’t know how to make you being take not feel “icky” to them, so they want to bone you but your lack of diffusing their ASD/LMR/etc is preventing them from getting to bone you.

      This is similar to when a girl wants a guy to just “get it” that she likes him without her having to tell him. She gets frustrated because she likes him and wants him to know she likes him but she can’t expressly SAY she likes him because that triggers her ASD so she’s frustrated and mad at him for not “getting it” and making it happen.

      Understand that this isn’t their fault, they aren’t retarded and acting irrational. They are acting perfectly rational just like the girls in the OP’s question. The problem is that your game needs tweaking/work to diffuse this, just like the OP’s game needs work to diffuse his situ.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 9:39 pm
      Original Link

      “I’m curious whether you agree or disagree with this”

      I agree it’s a thousand times more difficult with “marriage” than with other arrangements, but the principle/concept still holds: ie – if you can remove the “icky” factor for the girl, she’ll be okay with it.

      The problem here, which I agree with, is that like someone said the 20s-something’s still have the romantic Disney view of marriage that 30+yo’s with more life experience don’t, so the married label carries a thousand times more “icky” factor to them that you would have to diffuse…to the point where it could be either too difficult or feel like too much work for you to diffuse, or she may not give you enough of an opportunity TO diffuse it because of it triggering too much “icky” feeling.

      BUT, it’s not impossible. That part I disagree with. Your options are basically:

      1) figure out how to massively diffuse the defcon 2. It’d take a shitload of frame control and practice and choosing the right words and shit to learn how to calibrate presenting your situation but its possible…you won’t get 100% of the girls obviously but you could probably increase your success rate from 0% to 10-20%. To contrast, if you were just “in a relationship” this could get you 50-70%.

      2) screen hard for girls who’s “icky” reflex isn’t triggered at defcon 2, like girls who don’t believe in marriage or who have had LTRs go sour or who get off on “being bad” or who are in shitty relationships etc. before mentioning it. These chicks are out there, but they’re probably going to be headcases in general so keep them at arm’s length. Again this is like a 10% thing and if you were just “in a relationship” you’d get more of a 30-50% rate with this (most chicks need some convincing).

      3) tell the truth sarcastically lol this a little sneaky but you can agree & amplify and exaggerate shit so that it sounds silly. Like “oh you wouldn’t want me, I’m obviously married with a kids and cheating on my wife. I mean I’m an older man so clearly I have a ton of baggage and drama. My wife and kids are hiding in a bush watching us right now as I destroy their lives and our happy home. I want a dozen more kids but my wife doesn’t put out because I’m fat and ugly and hideous so I need you to be my second wife and pop out babies for me. We’ll all live together like a reality TV show.” and just keep making it worse and worse but technically admitting truth that she doesn’t realize is true, and then when you bang her and she eventually realizes you’re married you can say “ya I told you at the start duh” and cross your fingers that you’ve built enough attraction with her and can minimize the blowout enough that you can chill her out about it. This is pretty underhanded and will probably lead to drama. Girls sometimes ask me if I’m married because I’m clearly in my 30s and I use agree/amplify like this to neutralize it, but it works for me because I’m congruent to not being married (ie – there’s no sub-communications that I’m hiding something) and there’s no “surprise, I wasn’t kidding!” reveal at the end so I don’t get drama from it.

      4) lie. Don’t use the words marriage/married/wife, don’t wear your ring, don’t admit to it, sneak around, say you have a GF not a wife, don’t ever let them know the truth. This is probably the highest % play, but it comes with the most drama because if she DOES figure it out she’ll feel massively betrayed and used and like you’re a scumbag and you could end up with her telling your wife etc. to me this isnt worth the possible consequences.

      5) omit telling her about it or lie, and simply go for the quick ONS followed by never seeing or talking to her again. Pretend to be on vacation or like you travel for business and can’t actually date etc so you disqualify yourself from building any kind of bond with her where she’d start digging for more info on you.

      6) work on your Attraction game till its SO tight and involves so many fast Buying Temp spikes and an emotional rollercoasters and shiny objects and shit and escalate so fast that she doesn’t have time to think and just goes with her emotions in the moment. Watch some in-field footage by the guys at RSD for their style of game, where it’s fast and in-her-face and cuts the space and escalates quick etc. VS classic Mystery Method game where you invest in a few hours of comfort or go on a Day 2 etc and she has time to get curious. If you do this tho, and she finds out after the lay that you’re married, you’ll have to minimize the blowout and chill her out…you’ll have her “i want to rationalize away this guy’s faults” hamster slightly leaning toward your side because your dick was in her, but it’ll be a super volatile situation that’s likely to blow up in your face.

      So like I say the principle is the same: “remove the “icky” and she’ll fuck you”, but I agree that actual marriage triggers a LOT of “icky”. You handicapped yourself by getting married so you put the game on Expert mode lol

      But no, I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. You can transport nitro-glycerin, it’s just a lot harder to transport than water.

      Also “marriage” is the only one that I would say is a problem. Being divorced = no big deal cause maybe that wasn’t your fault maybe you married a shitty chick. Hell these days they may have a mid-20s friend who’s divorced already. Also having a kid = no big deal. Same thing, they probably have friends with kids already.

      That said, divorce/kids aren’t things you need to bring up before sex because neither of those mean you’re not single. A legit marriage is something you’d probably want to either air before sex or never ever admit to ever, just because banging her then turning out to be married will trigger all sorts of sleazeball triggers and Buyer’s Remorse and shit which can bring drama to your life.

      At the end of the day, the only reason you’re having these conversations about your life is because you’re giving them time to think or allowing the frame of that stuff to happen. ie – if you ran tighter Attraction game and escalated faster, to where she doesn’t have time to ask a lot of questions, you could bypass all of this. The problem there is that after the emotional high wears off she’ll start asking questions and then you have a high risk of drama. That doesn’t mean that running fast Attract game is the way to go, I’m just saying the logic under this all is consistent.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

ZLX1
on October 22, 2013 at 11:00 am
Original Link

Just say your name is Kuntenbanger. It’s German dont’cha know?

Or, “I don’t like to give that out. I have warrants.”

She sounds like a load of laughs.

Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to realize in mid conversation that the person you’re dealing with is a horrible wretch, and while it’s fine to have pity on such people, if they persist in vomiting up their oddities upon your shoe, turn the conversation into a game for your amusement. Have a laugh. Cat playing with mouse.


  • Kate
    on October 22, 2013 at 1:26 pm
    Original Link

    I think making a joke out of it initially is fun. Ask her to guess your name, give her hints, etc. I think there may be some sort of unspoken rule about no last names on a first date when you’re just meeting for a bit in person to see if you like each other, but, after that, you really should know the name of the person you’re involved with. To make an analogy, it’d be like asking a man to go out with a woman whose picture he hadn’t seen. Each side would feel like the other was hiding something, even if they weren’t.


    • Wolfie65
      on October 22, 2013 at 6:21 pm
      Original Link

      There’s also unspoken rules about no Ex’s, no medical details, no kids, no divorces, no incomes, none of the heavy shit on first dates.
      Sadly, women do not seem to know these rules.
      I’m not their pharmacist, doctor, lawyer, counselor or broker, for fuck’s sake.


      • ZLX1
        on October 22, 2013 at 8:02 pm
        Original Link

        I had a first ‘date’ where I was asked in the first half hour:

        About my car and potential other cars I own.
        Where my offices are.
        If I wore suits for business.
        What size house I have.
        Couple other odds and ends of that nature.

        Awesome.

        I was laughing the whole time. I never gave a straight answer much to her annoyance. She never seemed to catch on that I knew what she was up to. I guess her areas of interest in “getting to know me” were perfectly normal to her. People are funny and fun.

        Next.


        • YaReally
          on October 22, 2013 at 10:07 pm
          Original Link

          “I had a first ‘date’ where I was asked in the first half hour:”

          This happened because you let her control the conversation/frame. It’s the same way women screen men out based on their watch or shoes or if their belt matches their socks…be more emotionally captivating to her and lead the interaction and you won’t end up in these situs.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

ZLX1
on October 22, 2013 at 11:00 am
Original Link

Just say your name is Kuntenbanger. It’s German dont’cha know?

Or, “I don’t like to give that out. I have warrants.”

She sounds like a load of laughs.

Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to realize in mid conversation that the person you’re dealing with is a horrible wretch, and while it’s fine to have pity on such people, if they persist in vomiting up their oddities upon your shoe, turn the conversation into a game for your amusement. Have a laugh. Cat playing with mouse.


  • Kate
    on October 22, 2013 at 1:26 pm
    Original Link

    I think making a joke out of it initially is fun. Ask her to guess your name, give her hints, etc. I think there may be some sort of unspoken rule about no last names on a first date when you’re just meeting for a bit in person to see if you like each other, but, after that, you really should know the name of the person you’re involved with. To make an analogy, it’d be like asking a man to go out with a woman whose picture he hadn’t seen. Each side would feel like the other was hiding something, even if they weren’t.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 10:07 pm
      Original Link

      “I had a first ‘date’ where I was asked in the first half hour:”

      This happened because you let her control the conversation/frame. It’s the same way women screen men out based on their watch or shoes or if their belt matches their socks…be more emotionally captivating to her and lead the interaction and you won’t end up in these situs.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Wrecked 'Em
on October 22, 2013 at 12:42 pm
Original Link

Her: How old are you?
Him: Oooold.
Her: How old?
Him: Well, I got my start as a Roman Legionnaire. (pause) For reals.


  • The Burninator
    on October 22, 2013 at 1:08 pm
    Original Link

    Funny! But, a minor problem. We’re surrounded by historically illiterate dillweeds. Nothing makes a good joke fall flat faster than having to explain it to somebody. heh

    Personally I’d love it if I could crank up the intelligence level of witty discourse to Dennis Miller rank or above, but these days most people find references to Spongebob Squarepants as almost too sophisticated. Dare to bring up something even mildly intellectual and you’re given blank, confused stares.

    But, that’s a good line, if I happen to run into a chick who displays intelligence higher than bat guano I may swipe it from you! Big if there, btw.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

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Wrecked 'Em
on October 22, 2013 at 12:42 pm
Original Link

Her: How old are you?
Him: Oooold.
Her: How old?
Him: Well, I got my start as a Roman Legionnaire. (pause) For reals.


  • The Burninator
    on October 22, 2013 at 1:08 pm
    Original Link

    Funny! But, a minor problem. We’re surrounded by historically illiterate dillweeds. Nothing makes a good joke fall flat faster than having to explain it to somebody. heh

    Personally I’d love it if I could crank up the intelligence level of witty discourse to Dennis Miller rank or above, but these days most people find references to Spongebob Squarepants as almost too sophisticated. Dare to bring up something even mildly intellectual and you’re given blank, confused stares.

    But, that’s a good line, if I happen to run into a chick who displays intelligence higher than bat guano I may swipe it from you! Big if there, btw.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

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embracingourfemininity
on October 22, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Original Link

lol Americans are so formal. This sounds like she is trying to qualify him for a job interview, not a potential suitor.


  • embracingourfemininity
    on October 22, 2013 at 3:09 pm
    Original Link

    I didn’t think of this earlier….. If I’m going to ask a man his last name it will be a little bit later, maybe after we have been out at least a few times. Perhaps because I will be fantasizing about what my last name will be if we marry. hahahaha. Maybe she liked him so much at first sight and got excited…and just wanted to know for this reason.


    • Wolfie65
      on October 22, 2013 at 6:31 pm
      Original Link

      Unless the dude is 6’4, 10 years younger than she is, looks like Tatum Channing and drives a Lambo, she did NOT ask him his last name because she wants to marry him.
      Pretty much every conversation with an American woman is like a job interview these days.
      One time, I made the mistake of going to a ‘speed dating’ event, by invitation, for ‘professionals’ – their definition, not mine.
      Present: 2 women, 1 attractive but married hostess, 7 guys (including myself). Comparing notes with some of the guys afterwards, the 2 ‘ladies’ basically asked everyone how much he made and left, disappointed over not having found Donald Trump Jr.
      One example of thousands.
      If I’d have known this, I might have stayed in Europe.


      • YaReally
        on October 22, 2013 at 10:13 pm
        Original Link

        “Pretty much every conversation with an American woman is like a job interview these days.”

        Control the frame:

        http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/reader-mailbag-say-my-name-game/#comment-489908

        Fuck, it’s like you guys get the girl out or approach her and then stand there waiting for her to pick herself up for you while you ask “so uhh what do you want to talk about?”

        Be more engaging. Lead the interaction. TAKE it somewhere, don’t sit there letting her rattle off job interview questions. Change her emotions, change her mood, change the frame, and lead it toward the lay.

        You guys are catching the football and then standing around waiting for the touchdown line to come to you, and surprised/annoyed that the other team tackles you. Run with that shit, get active, take charge, make her react to you instead of you reacting to her.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

embracingourfemininity
on October 22, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Original Link

lol Americans are so formal. This sounds like she is trying to qualify him for a job interview, not a potential suitor.


  • embracingourfemininity
    on October 22, 2013 at 3:09 pm
    Original Link

    I didn’t think of this earlier….. If I’m going to ask a man his last name it will be a little bit later, maybe after we have been out at least a few times. Perhaps because I will be fantasizing about what my last name will be if we marry. hahahaha. Maybe she liked him so much at first sight and got excited…and just wanted to know for this reason.


    • YaReally
      on October 22, 2013 at 10:13 pm
      Original Link

      “Pretty much every conversation with an American woman is like a job interview these days.”

      Control the frame:

      https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/reader-mailbag-say-my-name-game/#comment-489908

      Fuck, it’s like you guys get the girl out or approach her and then stand there waiting for her to pick herself up for you while you ask “so uhh what do you want to talk about?”

      Be more engaging. Lead the interaction. TAKE it somewhere, don’t sit there letting her rattle off job interview questions. Change her emotions, change her mood, change the frame, and lead it toward the lay.

      You guys are catching the football and then standing around waiting for the touchdown line to come to you, and surprised/annoyed that the other team tackles you. Run with that shit, get active, take charge, make her react to you instead of you reacting to her.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

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Patrice
on October 23, 2013 at 12:22 am
Original Link

YaReally, I’ve been reading more of your posts/blog and you’re a super smart motherfucker and in some ways protective of us nerds and betas at the same time. You give your knowledge away like it’s nothing.

For some of us betas/omegas, it’s all we have. I wish I had a protective dad/male role model like you growing up.


  • Maniac from a High School Playground
    on October 23, 2013 at 1:55 am
    Original Link

    “YaReally, I’ve been reading more of your posts/blog and you’re a super smart motherfucker and in some ways protective of us nerds and betas at the same time. You give your knowledge away like it’s nothing.”

    Nothing’s free. The guy is a propaganda shill for commercial PUA company.

    And, “Really”, aren’t you tired of toting yer own horn man?


    • Jay in DC
      on October 23, 2013 at 10:22 am
      Original Link

      Never seen him link to or promote and PUA company here. Embellishment may be part of his shtick but most alphas generally toot their own horn. I’ve read enough of his shit now to know that if he is a phony he is epically good at being one because he has mastery of the subject matter. From the perspective of a Patrice even if “Ya” himself is an illusion the advice is rock solid. Just my unsolicited .02….


      • Pervert From a High School Playground
        on October 23, 2013 at 10:48 am
        Original Link

        He really is good, but he is still a marketing shill for a long-standing commercial PUA enterprise. He doesn’t have to direct link to anything; the proof is in how and where his content (mentions) skews. Speaking of which, ya all realize that this blog was also purchased by the same company? Nothing is by accident.


        • YaReally
          on October 23, 2013 at 12:15 pm
          Original Link

          ooooo, my lover avd is back with his conspiracy theories about RSD buying the Chateau and master-minding the destruction of the Manosphere. I forget if I’m supposed to be Tyler or one of his brainwashed minions, which was it again? Am I also CH? lol We missed you.

          As I’ve said before, and I’m only qualifying myself here ’cause I plan to link to this post when this “how does YaReally post so much if he’s supposed to be this super pimp?!??!” nonsense comes up in the future from haters again:

          - I only promote RSD because they have the most content out that covers the most topics and their videos are the best explanations/breakdowns of concepts…most other companies are still teaching old-school game and wearing eyeliner and black nailpolish and shit

          - Writing about game and helping guys is a hobby for me because some very generous guys in the PUA community helped me out of the kindness of their hearts back in the day so I know first-hand that it can make a big difference to men trying to fix their lives. I also love the psychology involved in pickup/social dynamics. It’s like a chess nerd who likes analyzing chess games, I think it’s fascinating that human interactions can be broken down into highly consistent patterns of behavior.

          - Because this is a hobby, I specifically make time for it. While you play X-Box, watch movies, surf YouTube, practice the guitar, hit the gym, play golf, study, or do some other hobby, I write.

          - I have solid time-management skills (from juggling the double life of learning PUA and having a full-time job back in the day actually) and a very lax desk-job where I work my own hours. My weekly schedule is pretty strictly divided up into work time, writing time, going out to bars time (weekends only right now), and sexxin-time (specific times of the day on specific days of the week that don’t interfere with other shit) I’m also shifting focus to my work/finances for the winter because I feel like it’s time to get that part of my life handled.

          - I don’t go on dates anymore, I just go for the same-night lay on the weekends and sometimes turn those into fuckbuddies, or if I have to go for a # I build enough comfort/rapport via text messages to set up a fuckbuddy arrangement ASAP so I don’t have to waste half my week going on multiple gay dinner-dates with girls. I actually did that shit for a while when I was starting out but my game is more efficient now and I’m focusing more on work than women right now so I just don’t want to waste time going for dinner

          - Right now I have a Primary GF I see once a week who knows I fool around on the side, and I recently ditched my 2 main Secondaries because one of them brought me too much drama and the other was cool but I feel like I’ve gotten too lazy/passive in the field lately so I wanted to burn my ships Viking style so that I can get my infield skills back up to par for next summer. Plus fuckbuddies can be a pain during the winter season where you have Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day and Easter all in a row…the girls tend to get attached because most of those holidays re-enforce that they’re alone (family questioning why they don’t have a BF yet at turkey-dinner and xmas, no one to kiss on New Years, no romantic gestures on V-Day, more questioning by her family about why she’s going to be a lonely cat-lady on Easter, etc.) and they end up pushing for relationships and it’s a pain in the ass to deal with that lol

          - I juggle a variety of social circles because I get along with everyone, but they all know I’m a “bar star” and that they’re basically only going to see me on the weekends. In the summer I make more time for general hanging out, but they know that I’d rather catch up over drinks at a Friday Happy Hour than chill in a basement playing X-Box together on a Tuesday night. I also have a core group of very solid friends (mostly non-pickup-related friends) that I go way back with and that I talk to daily.

          - I’m a completely average looking dude (with amazing hair, no balding sorry lol) with a bit of a beer belly. I get better-than-average (and better than anyone who knew me could have ever imagined when I was an AFC, and better than more handsome guys who meet me expect me to get lol) results, but I also spend a lot of my gaming time fucking around and trying new things out instead of just going for a high lay-count because messing with new techniques and pushing boundaries is fun to me…I know I can get laid when I need to, so I don’t care if I lose some sets trying stuff out ’cause I like game as an art-form, not just as a way to get pussy. I’d also rather go for a hotter chick in a harder set where I know I’ll probably get blown out and go home solo, than take the easy ugly/average girl guaranteed lay, just based on my own personal standards

          So I’m not claiming to be a superhero. There are lots of guys who get laid more than me…but my lays are generally smoother/faster and more efficient than theirs because I’m more consciously aware of the game, and I handle obstacles/logistics/etc. better than most guys do because I spend more time infield in a year than the average “go out twice a month” guy does in like 5 years lol My reflexes are sharper, my skills are more flexible, and I’ve dealt with and purposely put myself in a bigger variety of situations than most guys

          - All of my advice holds up infield. Even if I was completely full of shit about my lifestyle, the knowledge bombs I’m dropping would still be blasting truth shrapnel in people’s faces. Go out enough, push your game/skills enough, and you’ll see for yourself

          Now that all that qualification is out of the way, it’s time for me to go get some work done. :)



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on October 23, 2013 at 12:22 am
Original Link

YaReally, I’ve been reading more of your posts/blog and you’re a super smart motherfucker and in some ways protective of us nerds and betas at the same time. You give your knowledge away like it’s nothing.

For some of us betas/omegas, it’s all we have. I wish I had a protective dad/male role model like you growing up.


  • Maniac from a High School Playground
    on October 23, 2013 at 1:55 am
    Original Link

    “YaReally, I’ve been reading more of your posts/blog and you’re a super smart motherfucker and in some ways protective of us nerds and betas at the same time. You give your knowledge away like it’s nothing.”

    Nothing’s free. The guy is a propaganda shill for commercial PUA company.

    And, “Really”, aren’t you tired of toting yer own horn man?


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2013 at 12:15 pm
      Original Link

      ooooo, my lover avd is back with his conspiracy theories about RSD buying the Chateau and master-minding the destruction of the Manosphere. I forget if I’m supposed to be Tyler or one of his brainwashed minions, which was it again? Am I also CH? lol We missed you.

      As I’ve said before, and I’m only qualifying myself here ’cause I plan to link to this post when this “how does YaReally post so much if he’s supposed to be this super pimp?!??!” nonsense comes up in the future from haters again:

      – I only promote RSD because they have the most content out that covers the most topics and their videos are the best explanations/breakdowns of concepts…most other companies are still teaching old-school game and wearing eyeliner and black nailpolish and shit

      – Writing about game and helping guys is a hobby for me because some very generous guys in the PUA community helped me out of the kindness of their hearts back in the day so I know first-hand that it can make a big difference to men trying to fix their lives. I also love the psychology involved in pickup/social dynamics. It’s like a chess nerd who likes analyzing chess games, I think it’s fascinating that human interactions can be broken down into highly consistent patterns of behavior.

      – Because this is a hobby, I specifically make time for it. While you play X-Box, watch movies, surf YouTube, practice the guitar, hit the gym, play golf, study, or do some other hobby, I write.

      – I have solid time-management skills (from juggling the double life of learning PUA and having a full-time job back in the day actually) and a very lax desk-job where I work my own hours. My weekly schedule is pretty strictly divided up into work time, writing time, going out to bars time (weekends only right now), and sexxin-time (specific times of the day on specific days of the week that don’t interfere with other shit) I’m also shifting focus to my work/finances for the winter because I feel like it’s time to get that part of my life handled.

      – I don’t go on dates anymore, I just go for the same-night lay on the weekends and sometimes turn those into fuckbuddies, or if I have to go for a # I build enough comfort/rapport via text messages to set up a fuckbuddy arrangement ASAP so I don’t have to waste half my week going on multiple gay dinner-dates with girls. I actually did that shit for a while when I was starting out but my game is more efficient now and I’m focusing more on work than women right now so I just don’t want to waste time going for dinner

      – Right now I have a Primary GF I see once a week who knows I fool around on the side, and I recently ditched my 2 main Secondaries because one of them brought me too much drama and the other was cool but I feel like I’ve gotten too lazy/passive in the field lately so I wanted to burn my ships Viking style so that I can get my infield skills back up to par for next summer. Plus fuckbuddies can be a pain during the winter season where you have Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day and Easter all in a row…the girls tend to get attached because most of those holidays re-enforce that they’re alone (family questioning why they don’t have a BF yet at turkey-dinner and xmas, no one to kiss on New Years, no romantic gestures on V-Day, more questioning by her family about why she’s going to be a lonely cat-lady on Easter, etc.) and they end up pushing for relationships and it’s a pain in the ass to deal with that lol

      – I juggle a variety of social circles because I get along with everyone, but they all know I’m a “bar star” and that they’re basically only going to see me on the weekends. In the summer I make more time for general hanging out, but they know that I’d rather catch up over drinks at a Friday Happy Hour than chill in a basement playing X-Box together on a Tuesday night. I also have a core group of very solid friends (mostly non-pickup-related friends) that I go way back with and that I talk to daily.

      – I’m a completely average looking dude (with amazing hair, no balding sorry lol) with a bit of a beer belly. I get better-than-average (and better than anyone who knew me could have ever imagined when I was an AFC, and better than more handsome guys who meet me expect me to get lol) results, but I also spend a lot of my gaming time fucking around and trying new things out instead of just going for a high lay-count because messing with new techniques and pushing boundaries is fun to me…I know I can get laid when I need to, so I don’t care if I lose some sets trying stuff out ’cause I like game as an art-form, not just as a way to get pussy. I’d also rather go for a hotter chick in a harder set where I know I’ll probably get blown out and go home solo, than take the easy ugly/average girl guaranteed lay, just based on my own personal standards

      So I’m not claiming to be a superhero. There are lots of guys who get laid more than me…but my lays are generally smoother/faster and more efficient than theirs because I’m more consciously aware of the game, and I handle obstacles/logistics/etc. better than most guys do because I spend more time infield in a year than the average “go out twice a month” guy does in like 5 years lol My reflexes are sharper, my skills are more flexible, and I’ve dealt with and purposely put myself in a bigger variety of situations than most guys

      – All of my advice holds up infield. Even if I was completely full of shit about my lifestyle, the knowledge bombs I’m dropping would still be blasting truth shrapnel in people’s faces. Go out enough, push your game/skills enough, and you’ll see for yourself

      Now that all that qualification is out of the way, it’s time for me to go get some work done. :)



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

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via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 23, 2013 at 2:32 am
Original Link

Field report:

Went out alone tonight. Picked up 2 girls. Worked them for 90 mins, seperated the 7 from the 6. Took the 7 to a bar with live band. Hard kino and even got some make out…going well then I get AMOGd by some punk 25 yr old. Straight jacked her from me…so pissed but that’s the game from 23 yr hb7.

He tried to shake my hand after AMOG me I said “fuck you for the cockblock” and took off. Watching her take pics with this guy and give her number to him was enough for me to say late.

This was cold approach 3 hours of work plus drinks and make outs I was so sure of the close but the AMOG got me. First time this has ever happened to me…first for everything. I pulled all stops but there was no stopping it this guy connected with her in a way that I couldn’t.

Not bad for a night out alone


  • YaReally
    on October 23, 2013 at 11:04 am
    Original Link

    “I pulled all stops but there was no stopping it”

    Nah. You did good, but that situation was handle-able/preventable. Some tips for the future:

    1) If you manage to venue change her OUT of the bar, away from her friend, like you did, take her for food or for a long walk, or to a QUIET low-key dead (empty) lounge with dark shadowy booths in corners (do some research, scope the venues around your area out, learn the lay of the land) or into a 24hr grocery store or a quiet McDonald’s or a walk in the park or some shit.

    You basically went “whew, I got her away from her friend and out of a noisy bar full of guys who want to fuck her! …now I’ll take her to a noisy bar that might have more of her friends and is full of guys who want to fuck her!” lol

    Plan this shit (“where will I take her once I get her out of the bar, and how will we end up back at my place or her place?”) out in advance. Not planning out the logistics will fuck you out of SO many lays.

    2) “These douche was relentless man. He literally bumped me out of the way on the dance floor TWICE.”

    There shouldn’t have been a second time. Don’t give guys the opportunity to be relentless. The instant you sense something is wrong, you get the fuck out of there. You see a random dude try to chat her up, or bump you on the dance floor, or the bartender gives her a free shot or she runs into some orbiter-chode who has a crush on her, etc., you go “oh shit, we have to go.” “what? why??” “I see my ex over there, she’s fucking crazy I don’t want her to see me, c’mon, leave your drink we’ll get one up the street!” and lead her out of there.

    You shouldn’t have still been on the dance floor for the second bump, or anything after that because, well, you saw what happened lol

    Once you have the girl leaving a bar with you, you protect that shit. If you go to a quiet lounge where you can build more comfort/makeout, you make sure to pick a corner booth out of sight of everyone else…you don’t pick a table in the main area in the middle of a crowd. You stay in that booth and escalate in it, you don’t take her onto a dance floor to show everyone “look at this horny girl who wants to get fucked tonight!!” lol

    If you walk down the street with her and there’s another bar letting out for last call, you tell her “let’s cross the street, I don’t want to run into drunk guys fighting” and walk her on the other side of the street instead of through the crowd of drunk sexually frustrated sausage. If a dude stops you to ask a question or for a light you interrupt him and go “sorry man, we gotta’ go, good luck!” and drag her away before he can finish talking and just tell her “oh that guy was hammered, I could tell he was trying to pick a fight” “but he seemed like–” “did you know your nose wrinkles when you talk lol no, it’s cute. Anyway let’s go grab some food at this awesome place I know–”

    I’ve literally picked my target up over my shoulder or by her waist and carried her away from AMOGs mid-sentence before. If you have enough attraction to lead her out of the bar, you have enough attraction to get away with shit like that. If she’s like “wait why did you do that I was talking to him and–” you just interrupt, act like nothing weird happened, joke/tease and change her mood/state, and continue from there as you walk her away from the scene…ESPECIALLY if it’s guys she doesn’t know and not close social circle dudes where you have to engage.

    You did good, I’m not shittin’ on ya, but you relaxed too soon is all. So keep this shit in mind for the future.

    Here’s a super old-school PUA running super old-school game AMOG’ing a couple black dudes in Leicaster Square, which was/is notorious for having to get your girl through a gauntlet of AMOGs trying to take her from you at last call:

    The chicks run away cause he spiked their Buying Temp too high*** but the black dudes’ mistake was letting this guy say anything and engaging him. As you can see in the video, they basically become invisible to the girls once he starts doing his thing, especially with the added draw of the camera. If they had moved the girls away from him as soon as he opened, they might’ve kept the girls. But they figured they could “win” against this little skinny weiner white boy and allowed the girls to engage him and tried to hold court, which was a mistake.

    This is all on-the-fly shit, but it makes a big difference. If you had picked ANY other venue than that one, or if you had led her out of there ASAP as soon as you noticed guys taking an interest in her, you probably would’ve been sticking your dick in her that night. Stay sharp, don’t relax until you’re both alone somewhere where you can have sex. This is why we encourage guys to go out a lot…even if you’ve studied all the game in the world online, your reflexes will be sharper if you go out regularly.

    ***the girls go through too many emotions too fast, so they have to get away from the source of those emotions so they can calm down and use their logical brains again, we call it “frying her circuits”…this is often the reason a cockblock friend will grab the girl you’re hitting on and say “we need to go to the bathroom!!” and drag her off, she senses her friend’s temp is spiking too fast if you’re running high-octane Attraction game and the friend knows she’ll start acting on her emotions, so she has to get her out of there to cool off. When that happens, you’ll sometimes find that when your girl comes back she has a totally different cold-shoulder vibe and you’re like “wtf?? I thought this was on!!”, because she’s had time to calm down and reset and basically tell her brain “wait we have to screen this guy, we’re supposed to have the upper hand here!! Be cool, girl!” and put the bitch-shields back up.

    You can watch the full step-by-step breakdown/analysis of that vid here:

    Also here are a couple examples of RSD Tyler handling these situs:

    Specifically at:

    - 7:05, where he pulls a girl over and immediately finds out how she knows the guys talking to them so he has the strategic edge and knows he doesn’t have to engage those guys…and when they come over to try to AMOG him and are shocked that she doesn’t choose them over the balding nerdy ginger, he uses that opportunity to instantly physically carry her away from them while the dude throws his hands up like “shit, I give up!” Then he calls over her sister and pulls them both in to exclude the AMOG and keep the set’s attention.

    - 11:11, where his wing comes in to try to take his girls off him to fuck with him. Notice how he keeps his body between the girls and his AMOG buddy instead of letting them engage him. And all his buddy is doing is making eye-contact and casually pulling one of their arms. Then he gives his buddy one of the girls and walks his girl away from him and faces her away from him (“it’s time for a dance…”) so they have isolation…his buddy does the same, pulling his girl back and facing her away from them, so that they have isolation as well.

    And RSD Julien:

    Specifically at:

    - 0:34, where he physically carries the girl away, saying “It’s okay. It’s okay.” and turns her away from her group, putting himself physically between them…and as he’s doing that, Tyler steps in to engage the friends to give Julien isolation time with his target. The smoothness of how guys like Julien and Tyler work in tandem is why a good wingman is worth a thousand girls, especially if you both have a solid understanding of PUA game…everything flows beautifully as you work in sync to take down sets.

    Anyway, hope this gives you some ideas on how to handle your shit next time. It sucks to lose a done deal like that right at the last minute, but it happens to all of us lol


    • Greatest Beta
      on October 23, 2013 at 11:14 am
      Original Link

      weluvyareallyfunclub.net.pua.edu
      lololol

      you rock man i know we started on the wrong foot a few months back but i really appreciate the help you throw out there. Yes, I could have been more aggressive by protecting the lay my thing has always been if shes down shes down but this is a new ball game shes was tight 23 yrs old in the prime of her hypergamy and i saw how fierce the competition is (this dude was a player straight picked her off me the fucker!)

      I’ll try those protective measures in the future.

      For reference sake, I SPECIFICALLY chose that lounge because it was dark and had couches and shit EVERYTHING was going my way until the band came out completely fucked up my shit.

      On to the nextttttttt


      • YaReally
        on October 23, 2013 at 12:28 pm
        Original Link

        “I could have been more aggressive by protecting the lay my thing has always been if shes down shes down”

        Ya that’s most guys, especially Naturals. And that’s great and totally works…as long as you don’t run into any obstacles. You can be more passive doing day-game, but if you want to beat other guys, especially other players, in the “battlefield” of the night-life, you gotta sharpen your fangs and be pro-active and cut-throat.

        “I SPECIFICALLY chose that lounge because it was dark and had couches and shit EVERYTHING was going my way until the band came out completely fucked up my shit.”

        The band coming out was the red flag to drop a quick “ah shit, the drummer of this band hates me, I banged his girlfriend a few years ago, let’s get out of here” extraction.

        But lesson learned, like I say we all lose sets. You file the reference experiences away for future use. Now you know that on whatever night of the week that was, that lounge has a live band and competition. Time to find a new venue to extract to, no biggie.

        This is also why PUAs tend to have very planned out Day2′s that seem spontaneous to the girl but are actually completely routine by-the-books dates that hit the same places in the same order at the same times where they do the same things with the girl etc. Because we want to control as many variables as possible…so if I take a girl to a lounge that’s great at 7pm, but I know they have a live band that starts at 9pm, I get her out of there by 8:30pm before she realizes there’ll even be a band lol

        Anyway, like I say, you did good, esp for being out solo…but you’re gonna’ run into this situation again in the future so I just want to make sure you aren’t going into it blind next time ’cause we’re not moving chess pieces around a board randomly hoping to hit Checkmate lol Predict possible issues and prevent them or snuff them out before they escalate.



Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 23, 2013 at 2:32 am
Original Link

Field report:

Went out alone tonight. Picked up 2 girls. Worked them for 90 mins, seperated the 7 from the 6. Took the 7 to a bar with live band. Hard kino and even got some make out…going well then I get AMOGd by some punk 25 yr old. Straight jacked her from me…so pissed but that’s the game from 23 yr hb7.

He tried to shake my hand after AMOG me I said “fuck you for the cockblock” and took off. Watching her take pics with this guy and give her number to him was enough for me to say late.

This was cold approach 3 hours of work plus drinks and make outs I was so sure of the close but the AMOG got me. First time this has ever happened to me…first for everything. I pulled all stops but there was no stopping it this guy connected with her in a way that I couldn’t.

Not bad for a night out alone


  • YaReally
    on October 23, 2013 at 11:04 am
    Original Link

    “I pulled all stops but there was no stopping it”

    Nah. You did good, but that situation was handle-able/preventable. Some tips for the future:

    1) If you manage to venue change her OUT of the bar, away from her friend, like you did, take her for food or for a long walk, or to a QUIET low-key dead (empty) lounge with dark shadowy booths in corners (do some research, scope the venues around your area out, learn the lay of the land) or into a 24hr grocery store or a quiet McDonald’s or a walk in the park or some shit.

    You basically went “whew, I got her away from her friend and out of a noisy bar full of guys who want to fuck her! …now I’ll take her to a noisy bar that might have more of her friends and is full of guys who want to fuck her!” lol

    Plan this shit (“where will I take her once I get her out of the bar, and how will we end up back at my place or her place?”) out in advance. Not planning out the logistics will fuck you out of SO many lays.

    2) “These douche was relentless man. He literally bumped me out of the way on the dance floor TWICE.”

    There shouldn’t have been a second time. Don’t give guys the opportunity to be relentless. The instant you sense something is wrong, you get the fuck out of there. You see a random dude try to chat her up, or bump you on the dance floor, or the bartender gives her a free shot or she runs into some orbiter-chode who has a crush on her, etc., you go “oh shit, we have to go.” “what? why??” “I see my ex over there, she’s fucking crazy I don’t want her to see me, c’mon, leave your drink we’ll get one up the street!” and lead her out of there.

    You shouldn’t have still been on the dance floor for the second bump, or anything after that because, well, you saw what happened lol

    Once you have the girl leaving a bar with you, you protect that shit. If you go to a quiet lounge where you can build more comfort/makeout, you make sure to pick a corner booth out of sight of everyone else…you don’t pick a table in the main area in the middle of a crowd. You stay in that booth and escalate in it, you don’t take her onto a dance floor to show everyone “look at this horny girl who wants to get fucked tonight!!” lol

    If you walk down the street with her and there’s another bar letting out for last call, you tell her “let’s cross the street, I don’t want to run into drunk guys fighting” and walk her on the other side of the street instead of through the crowd of drunk sexually frustrated sausage. If a dude stops you to ask a question or for a light you interrupt him and go “sorry man, we gotta’ go, good luck!” and drag her away before he can finish talking and just tell her “oh that guy was hammered, I could tell he was trying to pick a fight” “but he seemed like–” “did you know your nose wrinkles when you talk lol no, it’s cute. Anyway let’s go grab some food at this awesome place I know–”

    I’ve literally picked my target up over my shoulder or by her waist and carried her away from AMOGs mid-sentence before. If you have enough attraction to lead her out of the bar, you have enough attraction to get away with shit like that. If she’s like “wait why did you do that I was talking to him and–” you just interrupt, act like nothing weird happened, joke/tease and change her mood/state, and continue from there as you walk her away from the scene…ESPECIALLY if it’s guys she doesn’t know and not close social circle dudes where you have to engage.

    You did good, I’m not shittin’ on ya, but you relaxed too soon is all. So keep this shit in mind for the future.

    Here’s a super old-school PUA running super old-school game AMOG’ing a couple black dudes in Leicaster Square, which was/is notorious for having to get your girl through a gauntlet of AMOGs trying to take her from you at last call:

    The chicks run away cause he spiked their Buying Temp too high*** but the black dudes’ mistake was letting this guy say anything and engaging him. As you can see in the video, they basically become invisible to the girls once he starts doing his thing, especially with the added draw of the camera. If they had moved the girls away from him as soon as he opened, they might’ve kept the girls. But they figured they could “win” against this little skinny weiner white boy and allowed the girls to engage him and tried to hold court, which was a mistake.

    This is all on-the-fly shit, but it makes a big difference. If you had picked ANY other venue than that one, or if you had led her out of there ASAP as soon as you noticed guys taking an interest in her, you probably would’ve been sticking your dick in her that night. Stay sharp, don’t relax until you’re both alone somewhere where you can have sex. This is why we encourage guys to go out a lot…even if you’ve studied all the game in the world online, your reflexes will be sharper if you go out regularly.

    ***the girls go through too many emotions too fast, so they have to get away from the source of those emotions so they can calm down and use their logical brains again, we call it “frying her circuits”…this is often the reason a cockblock friend will grab the girl you’re hitting on and say “we need to go to the bathroom!!” and drag her off, she senses her friend’s temp is spiking too fast if you’re running high-octane Attraction game and the friend knows she’ll start acting on her emotions, so she has to get her out of there to cool off. When that happens, you’ll sometimes find that when your girl comes back she has a totally different cold-shoulder vibe and you’re like “wtf?? I thought this was on!!”, because she’s had time to calm down and reset and basically tell her brain “wait we have to screen this guy, we’re supposed to have the upper hand here!! Be cool, girl!” and put the bitch-shields back up.

    You can watch the full step-by-step breakdown/analysis of that vid here:

    Also here are a couple examples of RSD Tyler handling these situs:

    Specifically at:

    – 7:05, where he pulls a girl over and immediately finds out how she knows the guys talking to them so he has the strategic edge and knows he doesn’t have to engage those guys…and when they come over to try to AMOG him and are shocked that she doesn’t choose them over the balding nerdy ginger, he uses that opportunity to instantly physically carry her away from them while the dude throws his hands up like “shit, I give up!” Then he calls over her sister and pulls them both in to exclude the AMOG and keep the set’s attention.

    – 11:11, where his wing comes in to try to take his girls off him to fuck with him. Notice how he keeps his body between the girls and his AMOG buddy instead of letting them engage him. And all his buddy is doing is making eye-contact and casually pulling one of their arms. Then he gives his buddy one of the girls and walks his girl away from him and faces her away from him (“it’s time for a dance…”) so they have isolation…his buddy does the same, pulling his girl back and facing her away from them, so that they have isolation as well.

    And RSD Julien:

    Specifically at:

    – 0:34, where he physically carries the girl away, saying “It’s okay. It’s okay.” and turns her away from her group, putting himself physically between them…and as he’s doing that, Tyler steps in to engage the friends to give Julien isolation time with his target. The smoothness of how guys like Julien and Tyler work in tandem is why a good wingman is worth a thousand girls, especially if you both have a solid understanding of PUA game…everything flows beautifully as you work in sync to take down sets.

    Anyway, hope this gives you some ideas on how to handle your shit next time. It sucks to lose a done deal like that right at the last minute, but it happens to all of us lol


    • YaReally
      on October 23, 2013 at 12:28 pm
      Original Link

      “I could have been more aggressive by protecting the lay my thing has always been if shes down shes down”

      Ya that’s most guys, especially Naturals. And that’s great and totally works…as long as you don’t run into any obstacles. You can be more passive doing day-game, but if you want to beat other guys, especially other players, in the “battlefield” of the night-life, you gotta sharpen your fangs and be pro-active and cut-throat.

      “I SPECIFICALLY chose that lounge because it was dark and had couches and shit EVERYTHING was going my way until the band came out completely fucked up my shit.”

      The band coming out was the red flag to drop a quick “ah shit, the drummer of this band hates me, I banged his girlfriend a few years ago, let’s get out of here” extraction.

      But lesson learned, like I say we all lose sets. You file the reference experiences away for future use. Now you know that on whatever night of the week that was, that lounge has a live band and competition. Time to find a new venue to extract to, no biggie.

      This is also why PUAs tend to have very planned out Day2’s that seem spontaneous to the girl but are actually completely routine by-the-books dates that hit the same places in the same order at the same times where they do the same things with the girl etc. Because we want to control as many variables as possible…so if I take a girl to a lounge that’s great at 7pm, but I know they have a live band that starts at 9pm, I get her out of there by 8:30pm before she realizes there’ll even be a band lol

      Anyway, like I say, you did good, esp for being out solo…but you’re gonna’ run into this situation again in the future so I just want to make sure you aren’t going into it blind next time ’cause we’re not moving chess pieces around a board randomly hoping to hit Checkmate lol Predict possible issues and prevent them or snuff them out before they escalate.



Sex, Lies and Statistics.

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on October 21st, 2013 at 2:42 am
Original Link

Field experience says your graph is rock-fucking-solid dead on. No defending it necessary. Anyone who disagrees with it hasn’t opened their eyes and looked around.


Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Kim du Toit
on October 20, 2013 at 10:54 am
Original Link

What a load of crock. In a previous generation, this idiot would have been writing fantasy letters to Penthouse. All that mystic code bullshit is just code to prevent someone from discovering the con.

“So I laid some patented IPL on her, followed by a little reworked HT (hey, it was Saturday, right?) and finished with a straight JK. Easiest lay of my life.”

Seriously?

(No, none of those “technique codes” mean anything; I made them all up, just like he did.)

If anyone buys this nonsense, I have a bridge in Brooklyn that’s for sale, discount price, STG, INK.


  • yacv
    on October 20, 2013 at 12:16 pm
    Original Link

    What ARE you talking about?
    Not one acronym in the post but for the name of the site.

    Not even technical terms that aren’t self explanatory.

    If I wrote that i’d be feeling plenty stupid.


    • Kim du Toit
      on October 20, 2013 at 2:48 pm
      Original Link

      Did you even follow the link? The fantasy poke was wall-to-wall acronyms. Hint: the greater the number of acronyms in a post, the higher the level of bullshit. Technical terms, my ass.


      • YaReally
        on October 20, 2013 at 11:20 pm
        Original Link

        You seem like an idiot, but I agree that this is a shitty Field Report.

        “On the way back, SHE STARTS GIVING BOTH OF US A HAND JOB AS WE’RE TEASING THE SHIT OUTTA HER. WTF. I’m driving bitch! Settle down lol. Then she starts licking my ear. I tease her that this is the first time I’ve been turned on by a girl and put her hand on my crotch so she could feel how hard she was making me.”

        That’s a flexible girl. And I’m not sure why you’d put her hand on your dick to show her how hard you are after she’s already been giving you a handjob.

        My red flags go up as soon as someone puts shit like “and then I use my patented 15 minute seduction technique I leaned from an ancient Tibetan monk with mysterious acronyms…oh did I forget to explain them to you? Don’t worry, once my “coming soon” sales page is up you, too, can purchase my patented 15 minute seduction technique!”

        Legit guys are happy to explain everything they do, minus specific wording that the girl could google. Even RSD gives away all their tech for free in their videos.

        I’m not saying the FR is fake or didn’t happen, but it’s not a good/useful FR and sounds more like a sales pitch or brag report by a guy with average game who’s lining up a sales site selling books and bootcamps.



Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Kim du Toit
on October 20, 2013 at 10:54 am
Original Link

What a load of crock. In a previous generation, this idiot would have been writing fantasy letters to Penthouse. All that mystic code bullshit is just code to prevent someone from discovering the con.

“So I laid some patented IPL on her, followed by a little reworked HT (hey, it was Saturday, right?) and finished with a straight JK. Easiest lay of my life.”

Seriously?

(No, none of those “technique codes” mean anything; I made them all up, just like he did.)

If anyone buys this nonsense, I have a bridge in Brooklyn that’s for sale, discount price, STG, INK.


  • yacv
    on October 20, 2013 at 12:16 pm
    Original Link

    What ARE you talking about?
    Not one acronym in the post but for the name of the site.

    Not even technical terms that aren’t self explanatory.

    If I wrote that i’d be feeling plenty stupid.


    • YaReally
      on October 20, 2013 at 11:20 pm
      Original Link

      You seem like an idiot, but I agree that this is a shitty Field Report.

      “On the way back, SHE STARTS GIVING BOTH OF US A HAND JOB AS WE’RE TEASING THE SHIT OUTTA HER. WTF. I’m driving bitch! Settle down lol. Then she starts licking my ear. I tease her that this is the first time I’ve been turned on by a girl and put her hand on my crotch so she could feel how hard she was making me.”

      That’s a flexible girl. And I’m not sure why you’d put her hand on your dick to show her how hard you are after she’s already been giving you a handjob.

      My red flags go up as soon as someone puts shit like “and then I use my patented 15 minute seduction technique I leaned from an ancient Tibetan monk with mysterious acronyms…oh did I forget to explain them to you? Don’t worry, once my “coming soon” sales page is up you, too, can purchase my patented 15 minute seduction technique!”

      Legit guys are happy to explain everything they do, minus specific wording that the girl could google. Even RSD gives away all their tech for free in their videos.

      I’m not saying the FR is fake or didn’t happen, but it’s not a good/useful FR and sounds more like a sales pitch or brag report by a guy with average game who’s lining up a sales site selling books and bootcamps.



Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 20, 2013 at 11:01 am
Original Link

Interesting post.

Was at a octoberfest last night, opened numerous sets with my wing man

Mid conversation
Girl: where are you from
Me: I’m homeless. I live on his couch.
Her: well u don’t look homeless, that’s a expensive looking shirt (200 plus shirt)
Me: he’s my sugar daddy, he takes good care of me
Her: lolzlolzzz

and,

Friends bought me a shot, so promo girl comes with big syringe with Jell-O shot and puts it in my mouth.

Promo: I bet you were all surprised when I shoved it in your mouth
Me: I love having large objects shoved in my mouth
Her: lololzzlolz

Yes, throwing out gayish lines does generate tingles, don’t know why. Perhaps it’s an understanding of their insane feminine hamster?


  • RP
    on October 20, 2013 at 6:39 pm
    Original Link

    Demonstrates you’re drowning in enough pussy to not care about throwing hers away at a whim.



Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 20, 2013 at 11:01 am
Original Link

Interesting post.

Was at a octoberfest last night, opened numerous sets with my wing man

Mid conversation
Girl: where are you from
Me: I’m homeless. I live on his couch.
Her: well u don’t look homeless, that’s a expensive looking shirt (200 plus shirt)
Me: he’s my sugar daddy, he takes good care of me
Her: lolzlolzzz

and,

Friends bought me a shot, so promo girl comes with big syringe with Jell-O shot and puts it in my mouth.

Promo: I bet you were all surprised when I shoved it in your mouth
Me: I love having large objects shoved in my mouth
Her: lololzzlolz

Yes, throwing out gayish lines does generate tingles, don’t know why. Perhaps it’s an understanding of their insane feminine hamster?


  • RP
    on October 20, 2013 at 6:39 pm
    Original Link

    Demonstrates you’re drowning in enough pussy to not care about throwing hers away at a whim.



Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 20, 2013 at 2:55 pm
Original Link

Biggest cluster b of my life is my mother, hands down. The woman is so manipulative, controlling and emotional abusive I learned from the best. By far the most toxic presence in my life. Shit, Ive been handling shit tests from her since the day I was born.

Today we go to furniture store to get a drawer for my room. She has a good eye for these things so I let her help me in picking something out. Plus I havent seen her in 4 months so i figure it would be a good way to get a little bit of face time. As we are paying for the merchandise she tells the sales associate in a pompous and disgusted manner “i cant stand the place that he lives in, ughhhh, he needs to leave I keep telling him. He has a roomate, what is this kind of thing?” in her heavy foreign accent. I tell her in greek “is it really her business to know these personal details” the sales associate gives me this look like “ur mom is a fucking cunt”

As we leave (here I engage with her which is rule no 1 NEVER ENGAGE) I dont make 50k per month like u and dad so having a roomate is better economically she responds by deflecting “after so many years, what, I dont deserve to make 50k per month?” at that point I say ok gotta go.

Just curious to know how many of you dudes have had a witch for a mother lol.


  • walawala
    on October 20, 2013 at 9:44 pm
    Original Link

    Dude…for a mother? I’ve had girlfriends like this.

    The last one, after a variety of distancing in which she backed off…I backed off a mile, push-pull, other drama and attention-getting nonsense, she creates a huge drama last Monday, breaks up with me, comes over to pack up her shit. Leaves by simply saying “bye”. I let her go. 20 minutes later I get a text: “Thanks for being so kind to me, good luck with your big event this week”. Me: nothing.

    She sends another text 2 days later to remind me to confirm with a caterer. Me: nothing.

    Then she sends ANOTHER text 2 days later asking me: “Should I come to the xxxx” thing we had arranged with my guests. Me: 8 hours later: Can’t now, other arrangements.

    My event goes off without a hitch, huge success, photos, etcetc. I have to thank her publicly for the work she had put in up to then.

    She texts me LATE LATE Saturday just before my event ends: “have fun”.
    Me: nothing.

    Then she sends another email: “Please remove me from the group”.
    I guess in Facebook when you thank someone and tag them it shows up in your page. Without realizing it I had gotten her hamsters spinning with all her friends asking “You helped? Why aren’t you coming?” and she would have to reply: “Uh I was being a cunt and it backfired”.

    So I came up with the best reply ever to this provocation: “I thanked everyone who helped” ie: you’re one of the crowd of people—mostly girls—I thanked.

    So…yah, women can be manipulative cunts….that’s what “shit-tests” are all about. But your “Greater Beta” handle says it all. By calling yourself that you become that. Start thinking of ways to flip the script. In my case the pre-game me would have been begging her to come to my event and apologizing for “offending” her by thanking her.

    The new game-savvy me can read these situations much better and find actions and responses aligned with not being a “Greater Beta”.


    • YaReally
      on October 21, 2013 at 12:00 am
      Original Link

      “Then she sends ANOTHER text 2 days later asking me: “Should I come to the xxxx” thing we had arranged with my guests. Me: 8 hours later: Can’t now, other arrangements.”

      Beautiful. You can get this one back pretty quickly. She’s already fishing to see if you want her back.

      But she needs to “suffer” first. She has to miss you and feel what life is like without you and compare its bleakness to how amazing life with you was. It’s not a matter of punishing her and making her hurt, it’s a matter of making her VERY well aware with perfect clarity just how good she has it with you and just how good you are to her. Basically it’s to make her appreciate you.

      If you let her come back before she feels that, then she comes back with an ultimatum and repeats this behavior in the future, possibly when you’re locked down harder (living together, married, have a kid, etc) and can’t Soft Next her as easy.

      She has to give up, and to fully accept and believe that you can live without her. Like Fight Club where he has to give up and accept that one day he’ll die.

      Once she’s given up, THAT’S when you can let her back in. You can even actively chase her, and you might have to, but shooting a late night “hey” or something to let her know you haven’t deleted her number.

      This can take anywhere from a few weeks to a year. But trust the principles and hold steady like you are. If anything your problem will be convincing her you actually WANT her back because she’ll start to think you’re too high value for her and wouldn’t want anything to do with her.

      You’re doing good. And props on your event going well.



Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 20, 2013 at 2:55 pm
Original Link

Biggest cluster b of my life is my mother, hands down. The woman is so manipulative, controlling and emotional abusive I learned from the best. By far the most toxic presence in my life. Shit, Ive been handling shit tests from her since the day I was born.

Today we go to furniture store to get a drawer for my room. She has a good eye for these things so I let her help me in picking something out. Plus I havent seen her in 4 months so i figure it would be a good way to get a little bit of face time. As we are paying for the merchandise she tells the sales associate in a pompous and disgusted manner “i cant stand the place that he lives in, ughhhh, he needs to leave I keep telling him. He has a roomate, what is this kind of thing?” in her heavy foreign accent. I tell her in greek “is it really her business to know these personal details” the sales associate gives me this look like “ur mom is a fucking cunt”

As we leave (here I engage with her which is rule no 1 NEVER ENGAGE) I dont make 50k per month like u and dad so having a roomate is better economically she responds by deflecting “after so many years, what, I dont deserve to make 50k per month?” at that point I say ok gotta go.

Just curious to know how many of you dudes have had a witch for a mother lol.


  • walawala
    on October 20, 2013 at 9:44 pm
    Original Link

    Dude…for a mother? I’ve had girlfriends like this.

    The last one, after a variety of distancing in which she backed off…I backed off a mile, push-pull, other drama and attention-getting nonsense, she creates a huge drama last Monday, breaks up with me, comes over to pack up her shit. Leaves by simply saying “bye”. I let her go. 20 minutes later I get a text: “Thanks for being so kind to me, good luck with your big event this week”. Me: nothing.

    She sends another text 2 days later to remind me to confirm with a caterer. Me: nothing.

    Then she sends ANOTHER text 2 days later asking me: “Should I come to the xxxx” thing we had arranged with my guests. Me: 8 hours later: Can’t now, other arrangements.

    My event goes off without a hitch, huge success, photos, etcetc. I have to thank her publicly for the work she had put in up to then.

    She texts me LATE LATE Saturday just before my event ends: “have fun”.
    Me: nothing.

    Then she sends another email: “Please remove me from the group”.
    I guess in Facebook when you thank someone and tag them it shows up in your page. Without realizing it I had gotten her hamsters spinning with all her friends asking “You helped? Why aren’t you coming?” and she would have to reply: “Uh I was being a cunt and it backfired”.

    So I came up with the best reply ever to this provocation: “I thanked everyone who helped” ie: you’re one of the crowd of people—mostly girls—I thanked.

    So…yah, women can be manipulative cunts….that’s what “shit-tests” are all about. But your “Greater Beta” handle says it all. By calling yourself that you become that. Start thinking of ways to flip the script. In my case the pre-game me would have been begging her to come to my event and apologizing for “offending” her by thanking her.

    The new game-savvy me can read these situations much better and find actions and responses aligned with not being a “Greater Beta”.


    • YaReally
      on October 21, 2013 at 12:00 am
      Original Link

      “Then she sends ANOTHER text 2 days later asking me: “Should I come to the xxxx” thing we had arranged with my guests. Me: 8 hours later: Can’t now, other arrangements.”

      Beautiful. You can get this one back pretty quickly. She’s already fishing to see if you want her back.

      But she needs to “suffer” first. She has to miss you and feel what life is like without you and compare its bleakness to how amazing life with you was. It’s not a matter of punishing her and making her hurt, it’s a matter of making her VERY well aware with perfect clarity just how good she has it with you and just how good you are to her. Basically it’s to make her appreciate you.

      If you let her come back before she feels that, then she comes back with an ultimatum and repeats this behavior in the future, possibly when you’re locked down harder (living together, married, have a kid, etc) and can’t Soft Next her as easy.

      She has to give up, and to fully accept and believe that you can live without her. Like Fight Club where he has to give up and accept that one day he’ll die.

      Once she’s given up, THAT’S when you can let her back in. You can even actively chase her, and you might have to, but shooting a late night “hey” or something to let her know you haven’t deleted her number.

      This can take anywhere from a few weeks to a year. But trust the principles and hold steady like you are. If anything your problem will be convincing her you actually WANT her back because she’ll start to think you’re too high value for her and wouldn’t want anything to do with her.

      You’re doing good. And props on your event going well.



Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Rum
on October 20, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Original Link

Patrice
You are not making a lot of sense. If you are really bothered by the fupa that ate yur dick you would deal with it. Because it can be dealt with. Then go read the M. de Sades classic, “Justine” a few times. I mean, if you are actually for real. I mean, “screening for testicular cancer?” Where does that happen? A chick was going to feel you up and you requested a guy instead? Did the guy see your rampant manhood? If not, why would he comment on your tragic limitations?


  • Patrice
    on October 20, 2013 at 5:55 pm
    Original Link

    Patrice
    You are not making a lot of sense. If you are really bothered by the fupa that ate yur dick you would deal with it. Because it can be dealt with.

    I’m not obese by any means, I just have to lose some weight. Weight loss isn’t easy for me either because I have chronic injuries that I have to put up with.

    Even if I was a shredded super athlete I’d be packing a tiny 5″ at BEST.

    I mean, if you are actually for real. I mean, “screening for testicular cancer?” Where does that happen? A chick was going to feel you up and you requested a guy instead? Did the guy see your rampant manhood? If not, why would he comment on your tragic limitations?

    I felt a lump in my testicle, doctor referred me for more diagnostics (scrotal ultrasound, where they put gel on your nuts and then do an ultrasound ), and they had a woman technician offer to do it.

    I refused and requested a guy. He was trying not to burst out laughing several times during the examination and he was talking shit about my lack of size to his female coworkers after. They were chuckling and laughing in the room next door when I left the examination room to leave the office.

    One of the bitches that found it funny was this short, fat, kinda ugly-looking hijab wearing muslim chick. Another shot to the fucking ego. Why would these fucking bitches laugh at something that isn’t even my fucking fault????? Fuck’em all.

    I can’t believe I’m explaining this shit.


    • kfg
      on October 20, 2013 at 6:22 pm
      Original Link

      “. . . 5″ at BEST.”
      Otherwise known as US average.

      “Weight loss isn’t easy for me . . . I have chronic injuries . . .”
      What sort of injuries force food down your throat?

      “I can’t believe I’m explaining this shit.”
      With all due respect, I couldn’t have said it better myself.


      • Patrice
        on October 20, 2013 at 7:04 pm
        Original Link

        “. . . 5″ at BEST.”
        Otherwise known as US average.

        If I press a ruler hard against my pubic bone it’s 5″ erect. If I don’t press hard it’s 3.75″-4″. Soft it’s about 2″.

        I know I have to lose weight, I’m not denying that, but even if I get super lean it’s still fucking small. I wish 5″ was average. The average is probably 6″-6.5″.

        Listen, when the cunts at the doctor’s office laugh at me, then what the fuck am I supposed to expect with a women??

        I get it, looks don’t matter, size doesn’t matter, even weight doesn’t matter, it’s all about game. I get that shit, but what’s a depressed, anxious, 30+ year old virgin with a horrible upbringing, absent father, abusive mother, and a tiny dick supposed to do? Be happy about himself??

        I hate saying this, and this goes against the very tenets of PUA, but I need a woman in my life to “fix me”. I need a girl who won’t judge my lack of status, history, social skills, sexual experience, and size.I’m a good looking guy though.

        I need a woman who can teach me how to fuck, give me some confidence, and make me feel better about myself. It’s sad and pathetic to admit this but it is what it is.

        You are probably pulling your hairs out and saying “listen you virgin fuck happiness always comes from the inside, don’t be attached to anything in your life and don’t seek approval.”

        I get it, I’m trying to look for an easy fix where there isn’t one. But I don’t know where the fuck to begin.

        What is the sexual market value of a guy in my situation? Would good looking older women (30s-50s i don’t care) give me a chance and do all the work? My gut tells me no, but I’ve heard many stories of older women fucking younger guys where the younger guys WEREN’T alphas.


        • YaReally
          on October 21, 2013 at 12:30 am
          Original Link

          “But I don’t know where the fuck to begin.”

          Yes you do. You’ve had a dozen helpful responses. But you don’t really want help, you want sympathy and for someone to tell you that you’re right, you got dealt a shitty hand and its okay for you to wallow in that and feel sorry for yourself and here you go here’s a woman who will fix you all up.

          You don’t deserve a woman to fix you until you start trying to fix yourself. Go hit the gym, do the pickup newbie missions with eye-contact and saying hi and asking for the time etc (google them for details, you have time to), watch Tony Robbins videos daily, and post back in a month. You’re just wasting everyone’s time right now trolling them to put effort into trying to help you when you’re not going to take action. Now go handle your shit, you’re a man, you were born with the ability to overcome setbacks.



Fake Gay Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

Rum
on October 20, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Original Link

Patrice
You are not making a lot of sense. If you are really bothered by the fupa that ate yur dick you would deal with it. Because it can be dealt with. Then go read the M. de Sades classic, “Justine” a few times. I mean, if you are actually for real. I mean, “screening for testicular cancer?” Where does that happen? A chick was going to feel you up and you requested a guy instead? Did the guy see your rampant manhood? If not, why would he comment on your tragic limitations?


  • Patrice
    on October 20, 2013 at 5:55 pm
    Original Link

    Patrice
    You are not making a lot of sense. If you are really bothered by the fupa that ate yur dick you would deal with it. Because it can be dealt with.

    I’m not obese by any means, I just have to lose some weight. Weight loss isn’t easy for me either because I have chronic injuries that I have to put up with.

    Even if I was a shredded super athlete I’d be packing a tiny 5″ at BEST.

    I mean, if you are actually for real. I mean, “screening for testicular cancer?” Where does that happen? A chick was going to feel you up and you requested a guy instead? Did the guy see your rampant manhood? If not, why would he comment on your tragic limitations?

    I felt a lump in my testicle, doctor referred me for more diagnostics (scrotal ultrasound, where they put gel on your nuts and then do an ultrasound ), and they had a woman technician offer to do it.

    I refused and requested a guy. He was trying not to burst out laughing several times during the examination and he was talking shit about my lack of size to his female coworkers after. They were chuckling and laughing in the room next door when I left the examination room to leave the office.

    One of the bitches that found it funny was this short, fat, kinda ugly-looking hijab wearing muslim chick. Another shot to the fucking ego. Why would these fucking bitches laugh at something that isn’t even my fucking fault????? Fuck’em all.

    I can’t believe I’m explaining this shit.


    • YaReally
      on October 21, 2013 at 12:30 am
      Original Link

      “But I don’t know where the fuck to begin.”

      Yes you do. You’ve had a dozen helpful responses. But you don’t really want help, you want sympathy and for someone to tell you that you’re right, you got dealt a shitty hand and its okay for you to wallow in that and feel sorry for yourself and here you go here’s a woman who will fix you all up.

      You don’t deserve a woman to fix you until you start trying to fix yourself. Go hit the gym, do the pickup newbie missions with eye-contact and saying hi and asking for the time etc (google them for details, you have time to), watch Tony Robbins videos daily, and post back in a month. You’re just wasting everyone’s time right now trolling them to put effort into trying to help you when you’re not going to take action. Now go handle your shit, you’re a man, you were born with the ability to overcome setbacks.



The Rise Of The Renegade Alpha

Original Link

via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 18, 2013 at 12:48 pm
Original Link

Holy crap this is so me.


  • yeahokcool
    on October 18, 2013 at 1:38 pm
    Original Link

    I find the whole spectrum to be silly, but you’ve highlighted why “sigma” is the silliest of all: it is a self-indulgent and boastful creation that attempts to rationalize (in a decidedly feminine way, IMHO) why the individual who utilizes the term isn’t quite “up to snuff” when compared to traditional alphas. “No, no, no!” says the Sigma. “I may not be alpha, but I never WANTED to be alpha. Thankfully, there’s a category that exists that not only proves I’m not beta, but that I’m also actually SUPERIOR to alphas.”

    The whole concept is ludicrous and we ought not employ it.


    • YaReally
      on October 18, 2013 at 2:14 pm
      Original Link

      “I find the whole spectrum to be silly”

      Agreed. Anything past Alpha/Beta is mental masturbation. It seems like it’s just people either looking to embrace labels that allow them to stay in their comfort zone, or people looking to compare themselves and their level of specialness against other people’s level of specialness to find out who’s the specialist snowflake.

      It’s not that there aren’t degrees of Alpha/Beta and various types of people…it’s that none of that is relevant. Attraction is attraction. If you’re alpha, you’re attractive, it doesn’t matter how you became alpha or what degree of it you are. If you’re not very alpha, you’re not very attractive. If you’re very beta, you’re very unattractive. Water is water, whether its hot, cold, came from a river or from a cloud. In terms of direct application and learning, there’s no need to go any deeper than “something is either water or it’s not water”.

      Label me however you like, it won’t affect who I am or what I do. I am whatever actions I take today.


      • Greatest Beta
        on October 18, 2013 at 2:20 pm
        Original Link

        “I am whatever actions I take today”

        I love that


        • YaReally
          on October 18, 2013 at 2:45 pm
          Original Link


          • YaReally
            on October 20, 2013 at 10:34 pm
            Original Link

            @Jonathan

            Will check it out, look for a reply in a few days


        • santa666
          on October 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm
          Original Link

          Wrong. The actions you take are a function of your essence. Can’t lift that weight until your muscles can handle the load.


          • YaReally
            on October 20, 2013 at 9:48 pm
            Original Link

            Taking action does not equal succeeding at that action. You can’t control the outcome, you can not control that you take action toward it.


          • YaReally
            on October 20, 2013 at 10:32 pm
            Original Link

            Ooop typo. That was supposed to be “you can’t control the outcome, you can only control that you take action toward it”

            I might not get the girl, I can’t control that, but I can control whether I approach her.



The Rise Of The Renegade Alpha

Original Link

via Heartiste

Greatest Beta
on October 18, 2013 at 12:48 pm
Original Link

Holy crap this is so me.


  • yeahokcool
    on October 18, 2013 at 1:38 pm
    Original Link

    I find the whole spectrum to be silly, but you’ve highlighted why “sigma” is the silliest of all: it is a self-indulgent and boastful creation that attempts to rationalize (in a decidedly feminine way, IMHO) why the individual who utilizes the term isn’t quite “up to snuff” when compared to traditional alphas. “No, no, no!” says the Sigma. “I may not be alpha, but I never WANTED to be alpha. Thankfully, there’s a category that exists that not only proves I’m not beta, but that I’m also actually SUPERIOR to alphas.”

    The whole concept is ludicrous and we ought not employ it.


    • YaReally
      on October 18, 2013 at 2:14 pm
      Original Link

      “I find the whole spectrum to be silly”

      Agreed. Anything past Alpha/Beta is mental masturbation. It seems like it’s just people either looking to embrace labels that allow them to stay in their comfort zone, or people looking to compare themselves and their level of specialness against other people’s level of specialness to find out who’s the specialist snowflake.

      It’s not that there aren’t degrees of Alpha/Beta and various types of people…it’s that none of that is relevant. Attraction is attraction. If you’re alpha, you’re attractive, it doesn’t matter how you became alpha or what degree of it you are. If you’re not very alpha, you’re not very attractive. If you’re very beta, you’re very unattractive. Water is water, whether its hot, cold, came from a river or from a cloud. In terms of direct application and learning, there’s no need to go any deeper than “something is either water or it’s not water”.

      Label me however you like, it won’t affect who I am or what I do. I am whatever actions I take today.


    • YaReally
      on October 18, 2013 at 2:45 pm
      Original Link


    • YaReally
      on October 20, 2013 at 9:48 pm
      Original Link

      Taking action does not equal succeeding at that action. You can’t control the outcome, you can not control that you take action toward it.


    • YaReally
      on October 20, 2013 at 10:32 pm
      Original Link

      Ooop typo. That was supposed to be “you can’t control the outcome, you can only control that you take action toward it”

      I might not get the girl, I can’t control that, but I can control whether I approach her.


    • YaReally
      on October 20, 2013 at 10:34 pm
      Original Link

      @Jonathan

      Will check it out, look for a reply in a few days



It’s Hard Being A Man In Public

Original Link

via Heartiste

maurice
on October 17, 2013 at 11:54 am
Original Link

Not the best parody piece by CH (or the CH-lets, or whoever is writing these days). A better counterstory would not be a fat chick checking out a man on the subway, but a golddigger/ex-wife/parasite trying to legally or extra-legally extract resources or social value from a man, take away his kids, etc. It’s hard being a man in the world-? Yes but not becuase of unwanted attention on the subway. Parody didn’t quite get the inverted situtation right.


  • burke
    on October 17, 2013 at 12:08 pm
    Original Link

    you’re right, but i do think it is illustrative of the presumptuousness of the female author. i think the point is imagine if men thought like this, or just to look at how unlikely it is to ever hear this (admittedly unlikely) from a male perspective. but women just get to take every little part of their day as an assault and affront.


    • YaReally
      on October 17, 2013 at 7:05 pm
      Original Link

      “but women just get to take every little part of their day as an assault and affront.”

      lol:

      “Women are just constantly patting themselves on the back about how difficult their lives are. And no one corrects them cause they want to fuck them.”

      …well, except this one. Oh Jezebel, you unintentionally provide endless amusement.



It’s Hard Being A Man In Public

Original Link

via Heartiste

maurice
on October 17, 2013 at 11:54 am
Original Link

Not the best parody piece by CH (or the CH-lets, or whoever is writing these days). A better counterstory would not be a fat chick checking out a man on the subway, but a golddigger/ex-wife/parasite trying to legally or extra-legally extract resources or social value from a man, take away his kids, etc. It’s hard being a man in the world-? Yes but not becuase of unwanted attention on the subway. Parody didn’t quite get the inverted situtation right.


  • burke
    on October 17, 2013 at 12:08 pm
    Original Link

    you’re right, but i do think it is illustrative of the presumptuousness of the female author. i think the point is imagine if men thought like this, or just to look at how unlikely it is to ever hear this (admittedly unlikely) from a male perspective. but women just get to take every little part of their day as an assault and affront.


    • YaReally
      on October 17, 2013 at 7:05 pm
      Original Link

      “but women just get to take every little part of their day as an assault and affront.”

      lol:

      “Women are just constantly patting themselves on the back about how difficult their lives are. And no one corrects them cause they want to fuck them.”

      …well, except this one. Oh Jezebel, you unintentionally provide endless amusement.



It’s Hard Being A Man In Public

Original Link

via Heartiste

cryo
on October 17, 2013 at 12:32 pm
Original Link

ABC News getting ready to launch a hit piece on the “Manosphere”:

http://abcnews.go.com/2020


  • YaReally
    on October 17, 2013 at 7:42 pm
    Original Link

    I follow MRA shit so I’m watching for Paul Elam. He hates PUAs the way the MSM does (ie – doesn’t really understand what we do or why and has made his judgements off the usual stereotypes), but that’s alright with me because he’s been doing excellent work in the MRA scene and his site is way more likely to convert the Blue Pill men who come to check out what a horrible demon 20/20 says he is, than someone unrelatable to normal guys like Roosh.

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/misandry/back-from-new-york/

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/avfm-on-2020-update/

    Paul has the right idea: he KNOWS this will be a huge hit-piece and that they’ll do their best to make him look bad. He knows 90% of the people that check AVFM out after the 20/20 piece will be coming at him with misguided blind hatred.

    But he also knows that 10% of that 90% will use their rational, logical minds as they read the articles there, and will go “hey this really gels with my life experiences and/or the experiences of my male friends…” and do their own research and convert.

    As I said in a discussion on Rollo’s blog when a Manosphere guy went on a news segment anonymously, this is the way to win this “war”…accepting that we will never win over the MSM/feminists, and that we shouldn’t expect to. All we need to do is get as much exposure as possible and we’ll win over handfuls of men who look at the facts beyond the surface, in the privacy of their own homes without feminists or Blue Pill’ers watching over their shoulder to shame them for not accepting the social narrative that they’ve felt in their gut doesn’t make sense.

    This’ll be a good thing for the MRA movement and possibly the Manosphere in the long-run when all the trolling/attacks settle down in a couple months.

    The more men we unplug from the Matrix, the better…even if we have to do it 10% at a time.


    • YaReally
      on October 17, 2013 at 11:53 pm
      Original Link

      Also this is the time to be promoting Married Man Sex Life. Someone running a popular Manosphere blog that’ll get swamped by traffic from this 20/20 story should do an article about it or something so it’s front and center when the traffic comes.

      Cause the guys who check the Manosphere out will be the disillusioned trapped-in-a-sexless-marriage or divorced-and-fucked-over men who know something isn’t right but don’t have a solution. MMSL is something that speaks to those guys and their life situation/experiences more than “fly to EE and bang nightclub chicks”. It’s something they can read and go “hmm that kind of sounds like my relationship…” and try some of it out, see results, and he’s hooked on the Red Pill truth from there.

      Sure that guy himself may not do much with it. Maybe he’ll save his marriage or get some questions answered…but more importantly, he’ll make sure his sons understand the Red Pill to avoid his fate. The more men we reach, the more future men we reach.

      That’s why I like Paul Elam and A Voice For Men…sure they might be a little white-knighty compared to the Manosphere, but they’re the middle ground between the Blue and Red Pill, that normal guys unsatisfied with the life society tells them to STFU and appreciate being allowed to have, will be able to relate to.

      The Rational Male blog is the same way. Rollo is the kind of guy normal guys will listen to. I heart CH but no one is gonna read CH with an open mind lol

      [CH: you wound me, sir. *sniff*]



It’s Hard Being A Man In Public

Original Link

via Heartiste

cryo
on October 17, 2013 at 12:32 pm
Original Link

ABC News getting ready to launch a hit piece on the “Manosphere”:

http://abcnews.go.com/2020


  • YaReally
    on October 17, 2013 at 7:42 pm
    Original Link

    I follow MRA shit so I’m watching for Paul Elam. He hates PUAs the way the MSM does (ie – doesn’t really understand what we do or why and has made his judgements off the usual stereotypes), but that’s alright with me because he’s been doing excellent work in the MRA scene and his site is way more likely to convert the Blue Pill men who come to check out what a horrible demon 20/20 says he is, than someone unrelatable to normal guys like Roosh.

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/misandry/back-from-new-york/

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/avfm-on-2020-update/

    Paul has the right idea: he KNOWS this will be a huge hit-piece and that they’ll do their best to make him look bad. He knows 90% of the people that check AVFM out after the 20/20 piece will be coming at him with misguided blind hatred.

    But he also knows that 10% of that 90% will use their rational, logical minds as they read the articles there, and will go “hey this really gels with my life experiences and/or the experiences of my male friends…” and do their own research and convert.

    As I said in a discussion on Rollo’s blog when a Manosphere guy went on a news segment anonymously, this is the way to win this “war”…accepting that we will never win over the MSM/feminists, and that we shouldn’t expect to. All we need to do is get as much exposure as possible and we’ll win over handfuls of men who look at the facts beyond the surface, in the privacy of their own homes without feminists or Blue Pill’ers watching over their shoulder to shame them for not accepting the social narrative that they’ve felt in their gut doesn’t make sense.

    This’ll be a good thing for the MRA movement and possibly the Manosphere in the long-run when all the trolling/attacks settle down in a couple months.

    The more men we unplug from the Matrix, the better…even if we have to do it 10% at a time.


    • YaReally
      on October 17, 2013 at 11:53 pm
      Original Link

      Also this is the time to be promoting Married Man Sex Life. Someone running a popular Manosphere blog that’ll get swamped by traffic from this 20/20 story should do an article about it or something so it’s front and center when the traffic comes.

      Cause the guys who check the Manosphere out will be the disillusioned trapped-in-a-sexless-marriage or divorced-and-fucked-over men who know something isn’t right but don’t have a solution. MMSL is something that speaks to those guys and their life situation/experiences more than “fly to EE and bang nightclub chicks”. It’s something they can read and go “hmm that kind of sounds like my relationship…” and try some of it out, see results, and he’s hooked on the Red Pill truth from there.

      Sure that guy himself may not do much with it. Maybe he’ll save his marriage or get some questions answered…but more importantly, he’ll make sure his sons understand the Red Pill to avoid his fate. The more men we reach, the more future men we reach.

      That’s why I like Paul Elam and A Voice For Men…sure they might be a little white-knighty compared to the Manosphere, but they’re the middle ground between the Blue and Red Pill, that normal guys unsatisfied with the life society tells them to STFU and appreciate being allowed to have, will be able to relate to.

      The Rational Male blog is the same way. Rollo is the kind of guy normal guys will listen to. I heart CH but no one is gonna read CH with an open mind lol

      [CH: you wound me, sir. *sniff*]



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

newly aloof
on October 16, 2013 at 1:04 pm
Original Link

Being a shorter dude myself I’ve noticed that larger alphas will show you respect if when they try to muscle you or punk you, you acknowledge and calmly challenge it instead of hiding or running from it. Dudes are like, “Short dude’s got balls. I can respect that.” Besides they have nothing to win by trying to escalate with the smaller guy.

If smaller guys want to earn some serious respect, learn how to brawl and beat down a bigger alpha that disrespected you and totally deserved it. Do that enough times, and they can see it in your eyes, and so can you.


  • The Burninator
    on October 16, 2013 at 1:41 pm
    Original Link

    Well, “brawl and beat down” may be a bit much, and you’ll get your ass handed to you more times than not if you’re around one of us monster ape natural alphas, especially the combat vet types who don’t take kindly young’uns trying to prove that they’re “all that”. However…you’re correct that standing your ground, not flinching, not being a coward, does get you marks of respect. If not immediately then shortly thereafter. The challenge at that point is to not blow it by getting all clownish and supplicating by being allowed into their company, as those are instant demerits until you are more familiar.

    The gunfighter scenario is one bigger alphas live with nearly daily. If you’re the acknowledged king of the hill there are no shortages (no pun) of guys always approaching and trying to challenge you. Not necessarily fist fights, but always trying to one up you to prove to the assembled crowd, whose opinion they value so much, that they “took it to you”. You learn to see the posers pretty quickly and either ignore them or shoot them down with practiced ease. As to violence, in my crowd you don’t bring it up unless you can back it up, and really, nobody wants that to happen. It’s bad juju and the law is usually compelled to step in and act.


    • Mel Gibson
      on October 16, 2013 at 1:58 pm
      Original Link

      Correct.

      “Heavy is the head that wears the crown” and all that jazz.

      Aside from agree and amplify, my favorite responses are:

      - a low, throaty grumble (kinda like “hmm” but keep your mouth closed) that includes a deadpan expression (with dominant eye contact) until the other person looks away, bares their teeth like a submission primate or supplicates with “I’m just kidding” or something *note: this response sends my g/f and most women into tingle seizures*

      - no response/ignore *note: literally, just keep watching TV, eating, reading or whatever and act like their words/action literally never happened*

      Both show you’re completely unamused.

      Swat them away like Godzilla does helicopters then continue destroying metro Tokyo.


      • The Burninator
        on October 16, 2013 at 2:19 pm
        Original Link

        Silence works great, or laughing at them in an easy, relaxed manner then turning to talk to somebody else as if they never existed.

        Violence generally doesn’t occur where I hang out, it’s far too risky. If somebody wishes to press it, I point out the venue and various features of it that make them see the light (“See those guys standing over there, and there, and there, who are not drinking, who are standing silently with sun glasses on and who are surveying the entire bar, and whose leather vests are open and quickly accessible…yeah….”). If they wish to confront me solo, that means I’m outside of my kingdom, which means that I’m armed (I open carry a Ruger Blackhawk six shooter chambered in .45 Long Colt, loaded with Critical Defense rounds). That’s a bit of a persuader in and of itself, people tend to forget bothering you if they were so inclined to begin with. Generally though, violence is rare these days except for a bit of chest pushing high school stuff some guys pull to try and start shit to look good for “one upping the silverback”.

        The low voice rumble, absolutely, though I again prefer the soft, easy laugh or clearly dangerous soft, low, slow voice speaking very clearly and distinctly. Works wonders on bad attitudes.


        • Lily
          on October 16, 2013 at 4:39 pm
          Original Link

          LOL. Where do you hang out to experience such mischief?

          I know you said biker barns, but still how do these fights ever start to begin with? From a look? Or, from something someone said? Or is it over a chick 2 or 3 opposing guys fancy?


          • YaReally
            on October 16, 2013 at 8:00 pm
            Original Link

            “how do these fights ever start to begin with?”

            http://chirontraining.blogspot.ca/2013/03/cofv8-monkey-dance.html

            http://ymaa.com/articles/violence-dynamics

            A lot of big scary looking biker dudes are the nicest guys in the world who will have the fuck out of your back in a sticky situ, as long as you respect them and they respect you back (often the act OF respecting them MAKES them respect you back) and you bring value and good emotions to the table, viewing them as a friend/ally rather than an enemy/challenge.

            And, like the Nat Geo vid above shows, there are always alpha dynamics in every group of men. So even in that biker social circle there are guys who are more alpha than other guys. When you go out a lot, you learn to quickly sniff out and assess who’s who and you can tell who you can fuck with and who you should befriend and what social power befriending the different guys will give you.


    • newly aloof
      on October 16, 2013 at 2:10 pm
      Original Link

      Agreed. And the bigger alphas I’m referring to are usually the dipshite versions who shouldn’t be punkin smaller dudes and concentrating on getting ass anyway. True alphas don’t need to prove anything, especially to a smaller dude just minding his own business. And, yeah, actually being able to rumble is a prerequisite to challenging anybody, especially a bigger alpha where the consequences of not winning are more extreme due to their size.


      • The Burninator
        on October 16, 2013 at 2:21 pm
        Original Link

        Exactly. An established alpha in his kingdom usually is not the guy running around taking offense, blowing up in anger at everybody, or giving folks trouble. You don’t cross him, but you generally don’t have to worry otherwise as long as you aren’t acting like an asshole.


        • newly aloof
          on October 16, 2013 at 2:41 pm
          Original Link

          And it’s a trip when a bigger alpha dude gains respect for a smaller dude and takes him under his wing. All of a sudden, little dude is “my boy” and nobody should fuck what him. Love when that happens.


          • YaReally
            on October 16, 2013 at 8:09 pm
            Original Link

            This is actually where short beta looking guys have an advantage.

            If Burninator walks into a biker bar and his buddies all shake his hand and greet him like he’s cool shit, girls see that but expect that so it’s attractive but normal.

            If some effeminate little dork like the guy in the attacking monkey scene in that video walks into a biker bar and the top group of bikers all shake his hand and greet him like he’s cool shit (as if he was just Burninator who dropped in after a job interview where he had to dress gay lol), girls see that and not only don’t expect it but expect and have SEEN the complete opposite (guys like that getting tooled and beat up and not accepted by the group), their attraction and curiosity blow through the roof because to overcome his gay looks with that group the dude must be alpha as fuuuuck.

            So that guy will end up getting more curiosity than Burninator…which doesn’t necessarily translate to anything. It means girls will be more likely to shit-test him and challenge him to see what his deal is, probably make fun of his clothes and tell him he doesn’t look like he belongs there etc.

            But if that guy also has game and knows that shit-tests are a signal of attraction and how to pass them to build more attraction and escalate/isolate/lead/etc? Game over, man. Game over.

            (this is from experience, not theory lol)


          • YaReally
            on October 16, 2013 at 8:14 pm
            Original Link

            Also the guy I describe has to then be careful because odds are the girl hitting on him will be a girl who’s familiar with that group and there are beta orbiter white knight types in every group, so he has to asses quickly “is flirting with this girl going to cause problems? Is this one of the top alpha’s girls? Do they approve of this? Is there a weasely little beta guy in the back staring daggers at me because he’s been orbiting her for months and he’s going to jump me in an alley later? Or talk smack about me to the group and try to get me ousted? Is this girl and this lay really worth that? Or is everyone laughing and not giving a fuck and I’m free to go stick it in her and tell them the story over beers next time I see them?”

            Often it’s not worth the trouble to mess with those girls. But that doesn’t mean the attraction and groundwork for a successful lay isn’t there.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

newly aloof
on October 16, 2013 at 1:04 pm
Original Link

Being a shorter dude myself I’ve noticed that larger alphas will show you respect if when they try to muscle you or punk you, you acknowledge and calmly challenge it instead of hiding or running from it. Dudes are like, “Short dude’s got balls. I can respect that.” Besides they have nothing to win by trying to escalate with the smaller guy.

If smaller guys want to earn some serious respect, learn how to brawl and beat down a bigger alpha that disrespected you and totally deserved it. Do that enough times, and they can see it in your eyes, and so can you.


  • The Burninator
    on October 16, 2013 at 1:41 pm
    Original Link

    Well, “brawl and beat down” may be a bit much, and you’ll get your ass handed to you more times than not if you’re around one of us monster ape natural alphas, especially the combat vet types who don’t take kindly young’uns trying to prove that they’re “all that”. However…you’re correct that standing your ground, not flinching, not being a coward, does get you marks of respect. If not immediately then shortly thereafter. The challenge at that point is to not blow it by getting all clownish and supplicating by being allowed into their company, as those are instant demerits until you are more familiar.

    The gunfighter scenario is one bigger alphas live with nearly daily. If you’re the acknowledged king of the hill there are no shortages (no pun) of guys always approaching and trying to challenge you. Not necessarily fist fights, but always trying to one up you to prove to the assembled crowd, whose opinion they value so much, that they “took it to you”. You learn to see the posers pretty quickly and either ignore them or shoot them down with practiced ease. As to violence, in my crowd you don’t bring it up unless you can back it up, and really, nobody wants that to happen. It’s bad juju and the law is usually compelled to step in and act.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 8:00 pm
      Original Link

      “how do these fights ever start to begin with?”

      http://chirontraining.blogspot.ca/2013/03/cofv8-monkey-dance.html

      http://ymaa.com/articles/violence-dynamics

      A lot of big scary looking biker dudes are the nicest guys in the world who will have the fuck out of your back in a sticky situ, as long as you respect them and they respect you back (often the act OF respecting them MAKES them respect you back) and you bring value and good emotions to the table, viewing them as a friend/ally rather than an enemy/challenge.

      And, like the Nat Geo vid above shows, there are always alpha dynamics in every group of men. So even in that biker social circle there are guys who are more alpha than other guys. When you go out a lot, you learn to quickly sniff out and assess who’s who and you can tell who you can fuck with and who you should befriend and what social power befriending the different guys will give you.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 8:09 pm
      Original Link

      This is actually where short beta looking guys have an advantage.

      If Burninator walks into a biker bar and his buddies all shake his hand and greet him like he’s cool shit, girls see that but expect that so it’s attractive but normal.

      If some effeminate little dork like the guy in the attacking monkey scene in that video walks into a biker bar and the top group of bikers all shake his hand and greet him like he’s cool shit (as if he was just Burninator who dropped in after a job interview where he had to dress gay lol), girls see that and not only don’t expect it but expect and have SEEN the complete opposite (guys like that getting tooled and beat up and not accepted by the group), their attraction and curiosity blow through the roof because to overcome his gay looks with that group the dude must be alpha as fuuuuck.

      So that guy will end up getting more curiosity than Burninator…which doesn’t necessarily translate to anything. It means girls will be more likely to shit-test him and challenge him to see what his deal is, probably make fun of his clothes and tell him he doesn’t look like he belongs there etc.

      But if that guy also has game and knows that shit-tests are a signal of attraction and how to pass them to build more attraction and escalate/isolate/lead/etc? Game over, man. Game over.

      (this is from experience, not theory lol)


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 8:14 pm
      Original Link

      Also the guy I describe has to then be careful because odds are the girl hitting on him will be a girl who’s familiar with that group and there are beta orbiter white knight types in every group, so he has to asses quickly “is flirting with this girl going to cause problems? Is this one of the top alpha’s girls? Do they approve of this? Is there a weasely little beta guy in the back staring daggers at me because he’s been orbiting her for months and he’s going to jump me in an alley later? Or talk smack about me to the group and try to get me ousted? Is this girl and this lay really worth that? Or is everyone laughing and not giving a fuck and I’m free to go stick it in her and tell them the story over beers next time I see them?”

      Often it’s not worth the trouble to mess with those girls. But that doesn’t mean the attraction and groundwork for a successful lay isn’t there.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

MattW
on October 16, 2013 at 2:27 pm
Original Link

The alpha-among-men vs alpha-among-women is an important distinction. There’s a lot of overlap between the two but they’re not the exact same thing.

I’d also say voice is more important than size, though I imagine most very large men also have large voices.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:27 pm
    Original Link

    1) alpha with women is separate from alpha in every other part of your life. You can apply the same mentalities etc and they translate, but being an alpha CEO who rock climbs Mt Everest for fun after being a super alpha leader of all his boys, does NOT even remotely guarantee that he will be an alpha when a hot girl is staring him down. I’ve seen it SO many times.

    And at the same time you can be a total loner or beta with other men or unsuccessful in life etc, but understand women and be an alpha with them, and get laid like crazy. The two areas use the same skils but most of the time guys are socially conditioned to treat women different/special and they actively shut off or tone down the alpha traits that would’ve gotten them laid.

    2) vocal projection and breaking rapport tonality is more important than deepness/loudness. Tyler does a great demo in one of his early audio clips where he projects his voice saying “do you guys think this would cut through the noise in a club”. His voice is nasally and high-pitch as fuck, BUT he can project it with a dominant authoritative tone. Similar to the skinny guy in the “get out of my box” experiment where he’s not a big tough guy but he changes his voice tone from “get out of my box?” to “GET OUT OF MY BOX.” and people react.

    So if you have a lame voice don’t worry. Watch some vids and shit on how singers project their voice from their diaphragm and learn to do that. It’s not SHOUTING, it’s projecting, there’s a difference. I can cut through extremely loud enviros or project over long distances across a room etc. but I had to consciously work on that.

    And breaking rapport means making your sentences all trail down. At the end. Like you’re using periods. Even when you ask a question. Do you know what I mean. It’s that downward tone. Where are you from. What’s your name. What are you doing here. It’s the same tonality a cop uses, like he’s accusing you or ordering you.

    British people are natural at this, for whatever reason the speaking style of Brits is built around breaking rapport. It’s always “Wot’s all this then.” in a falling tone rather than “Wot’s all this then??” in a rising tone. Americans are terrible for the rising tone, like a gay guy seeking? Approval? Ending every sentence? Like the band girl from American Pie? Know what I mean?

    Breaking rapport tonality (Old Spice guy) is more important than vocal projection. And you can start doing breaking rapport tonality literally as soon as you finish reading this sentence. Its an instant tweak you can make that will make a big difference when you interact with women. Learn to do it naturally by consciously making an effort to remember to do it…fake it till you make it.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

MattW
on October 16, 2013 at 2:27 pm
Original Link

The alpha-among-men vs alpha-among-women is an important distinction. There’s a lot of overlap between the two but they’re not the exact same thing.

I’d also say voice is more important than size, though I imagine most very large men also have large voices.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:27 pm
    Original Link

    1) alpha with women is separate from alpha in every other part of your life. You can apply the same mentalities etc and they translate, but being an alpha CEO who rock climbs Mt Everest for fun after being a super alpha leader of all his boys, does NOT even remotely guarantee that he will be an alpha when a hot girl is staring him down. I’ve seen it SO many times.

    And at the same time you can be a total loner or beta with other men or unsuccessful in life etc, but understand women and be an alpha with them, and get laid like crazy. The two areas use the same skils but most of the time guys are socially conditioned to treat women different/special and they actively shut off or tone down the alpha traits that would’ve gotten them laid.

    2) vocal projection and breaking rapport tonality is more important than deepness/loudness. Tyler does a great demo in one of his early audio clips where he projects his voice saying “do you guys think this would cut through the noise in a club”. His voice is nasally and high-pitch as fuck, BUT he can project it with a dominant authoritative tone. Similar to the skinny guy in the “get out of my box” experiment where he’s not a big tough guy but he changes his voice tone from “get out of my box?” to “GET OUT OF MY BOX.” and people react.

    So if you have a lame voice don’t worry. Watch some vids and shit on how singers project their voice from their diaphragm and learn to do that. It’s not SHOUTING, it’s projecting, there’s a difference. I can cut through extremely loud enviros or project over long distances across a room etc. but I had to consciously work on that.

    And breaking rapport means making your sentences all trail down. At the end. Like you’re using periods. Even when you ask a question. Do you know what I mean. It’s that downward tone. Where are you from. What’s your name. What are you doing here. It’s the same tonality a cop uses, like he’s accusing you or ordering you.

    British people are natural at this, for whatever reason the speaking style of Brits is built around breaking rapport. It’s always “Wot’s all this then.” in a falling tone rather than “Wot’s all this then??” in a rising tone. Americans are terrible for the rising tone, like a gay guy seeking? Approval? Ending every sentence? Like the band girl from American Pie? Know what I mean?

    Breaking rapport tonality (Old Spice guy) is more important than vocal projection. And you can start doing breaking rapport tonality literally as soon as you finish reading this sentence. Its an instant tweak you can make that will make a big difference when you interact with women. Learn to do it naturally by consciously making an effort to remember to do it…fake it till you make it.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

Lime
on October 16, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Original Link

This episode confused me a bit. Around the middle it shows being “attentive” in the first moments of interaction being better than assuming the sale and balling it up.
Surely the chimps should have the upper hand here? Perhaps their attitudes were too fake? For instance, in the last scene where they compare the two dating frames, the “chimp” guy was doing a lot of “errr” and “uhm” while talking.

[CH: try-hard troll.]


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:37 pm
    Original Link

    The game displayed in this is awful. This is why PUA is light-years ahead of what women and the MSM think game is and why they can’t stop us. They aren’t even looking at the right channels to see us.

    The MSM feminine-imperative etc view of a dominant alpha is a complete asshole who “uhhhhh….”s as he talks and used overly-aggressive cheesy “what time do your legs open” bravado pickup lines (and fall apart as soon as the girl shit-tests them). It’s like they have the basic visual vibe, but none of the internals to back it up. They’re going by a cartoon character stereotype version of what a dominant male is.

    Basically they’re trying to paint the Mona Lisa with melted down crayons and when they can’t make it look as good they declare that the Mona Lisa can’t be painted. They are completely out of their league/paygrade for understanding actual pickup.

    The only decent attraction related example is the guys going up on stage looking insecure VS looking confident and even that has a lot of other dynamics involved.

    This is why waiting for a scientific study to tell you game works is a waste of time. Just go out and fucking test it yourself. It will be another 50+ years before the MSM will accept this stuff and with all the chick “social scientists” out there hamster rationalizing away human behavior, a lot of it will never be accepted or verified.

    …but you can verify it yourself this weekend.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 8:40 pm
      Original Link

      Also the 3rd video in this series, about climbing social ladders and group acceptance, is decent. Understanding group dynamics is key to taking over or being accepted and respected in groups whether its at the bar with strangers or at work with co-workers and your boss, etc. I recommend giving it a watch, but again Mystery Method covers it better in terms of seduction/attraction.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

Lime
on October 16, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Original Link

This episode confused me a bit. Around the middle it shows being “attentive” in the first moments of interaction being better than assuming the sale and balling it up.
Surely the chimps should have the upper hand here? Perhaps their attitudes were too fake? For instance, in the last scene where they compare the two dating frames, the “chimp” guy was doing a lot of “errr” and “uhm” while talking.

[CH: try-hard troll.]


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:37 pm
    Original Link

    The game displayed in this is awful. This is why PUA is light-years ahead of what women and the MSM think game is and why they can’t stop us. They aren’t even looking at the right channels to see us.

    The MSM feminine-imperative etc view of a dominant alpha is a complete asshole who “uhhhhh….”s as he talks and used overly-aggressive cheesy “what time do your legs open” bravado pickup lines (and fall apart as soon as the girl shit-tests them). It’s like they have the basic visual vibe, but none of the internals to back it up. They’re going by a cartoon character stereotype version of what a dominant male is.

    Basically they’re trying to paint the Mona Lisa with melted down crayons and when they can’t make it look as good they declare that the Mona Lisa can’t be painted. They are completely out of their league/paygrade for understanding actual pickup.

    The only decent attraction related example is the guys going up on stage looking insecure VS looking confident and even that has a lot of other dynamics involved.

    This is why waiting for a scientific study to tell you game works is a waste of time. Just go out and fucking test it yourself. It will be another 50+ years before the MSM will accept this stuff and with all the chick “social scientists” out there hamster rationalizing away human behavior, a lot of it will never be accepted or verified.

    …but you can verify it yourself this weekend.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 8:40 pm
      Original Link

      Also the 3rd video in this series, about climbing social ladders and group acceptance, is decent. Understanding group dynamics is key to taking over or being accepted and respected in groups whether its at the bar with strangers or at work with co-workers and your boss, etc. I recommend giving it a watch, but again Mystery Method covers it better in terms of seduction/attraction.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

FuriousFerret
on October 16, 2013 at 6:26 pm
Original Link

I thought the funniest moment was when all the guys were saying ‘I’m a leader. I have what it takes to be an alpha’.

They are all standing around sizing each other up and the Naftali walks in and they all go in their collective ‘Oh fuck. Good game.”

Naftali was basically a real life version of Barbados Slim from Futurama.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090612144930/en.futurama/images/3/32/Barbados_slim.png


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:48 pm
    Original Link

    “I thought the funniest moment was when all the guys were saying ‘I’m a leader. I have what it takes to be an alpha’.”

    lol ya. My other fav was the other black guy who “doesn’t know how NOT to be the leader” who was scurrying around picking up the real alpha’s papers and giving up his chair etc like the lowest bitch on the pole lol

    This is why, as I’ve said before, I never ever ever listen to guys talk. If we’re pre-drinking before the bar and you’re telling me about all the pussy you smash and how you get laid all the time and how you’re going to pull some poon out of that club, cool bro, I’ll help pump your state up and tell you you’re the man.

    But i’m waiting to see what happens when I see a hot girl in front of you at the bar later that I know is attractive to you. I’m watching to see how alpha with women you REALLY are.

    I’m disappointed probably 95+% of the time. Most guys are full of shit. And they BELIEVE that shit, just like each of those Nat Geo guys believed they were alpha leaders…but the field reveals all.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

FuriousFerret
on October 16, 2013 at 6:26 pm
Original Link

I thought the funniest moment was when all the guys were saying ‘I’m a leader. I have what it takes to be an alpha’.

They are all standing around sizing each other up and the Naftali walks in and they all go in their collective ‘Oh fuck. Good game.”

Naftali was basically a real life version of Barbados Slim from Futurama.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:48 pm
    Original Link

    “I thought the funniest moment was when all the guys were saying ‘I’m a leader. I have what it takes to be an alpha’.”

    lol ya. My other fav was the other black guy who “doesn’t know how NOT to be the leader” who was scurrying around picking up the real alpha’s papers and giving up his chair etc like the lowest bitch on the pole lol

    This is why, as I’ve said before, I never ever ever listen to guys talk. If we’re pre-drinking before the bar and you’re telling me about all the pussy you smash and how you get laid all the time and how you’re going to pull some poon out of that club, cool bro, I’ll help pump your state up and tell you you’re the man.

    But i’m waiting to see what happens when I see a hot girl in front of you at the bar later that I know is attractive to you. I’m watching to see how alpha with women you REALLY are.

    I’m disappointed probably 95+% of the time. Most guys are full of shit. And they BELIEVE that shit, just like each of those Nat Geo guys believed they were alpha leaders…but the field reveals all.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

zn
on October 16, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Original Link

Interesting watch. The bungee jumping segment on body posture affecting behavior makes me wonder if the very act of holding a smart phone for increasing amounts of time, staring at the screen with chin and head tilted down reinforces bad body language habits

Or consider the average office jockey slumped over at a screen for hours…


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:58 pm
    Original Link

    Yep.

    One of the hardest parts of game for me right now is that my current job involves working in a quiet office at a computer all day. So when Friday rolls around, I’ve been silent most of the week, hunched over, haven’t used my voice or interacted with people etc. So I can end up spending half my night just getting out of that beta headspace and I’ll force myself to open up my body language in the shower and if I’m pre-drinking I’ll push myself to talk etc to get out of the bad habits I had all week.

    Compare that to a job like bartending, where every night you have to be social and alpha and outgoing and have solid confident body language etc. when your Friday off rolls around its no big deal because you’ve been embracing your alpha mannerisms all week.

    This is why I don’t give “introverts” a free pass. Most guys who identify themselves as introverts (thus giving them an excuse not to go out and socialize and learn game because that’s “just not me”) are full of shit and hiding behind a socially provided/acceptable label and haven’t actually gone out and purposely attempted to BE extroverted consistently every day/night for an extended period of time. They think “oh I went to a party a few months ago and tried to talk to people but didn’t feel comfortable so I’m an introvert”. Go out and approach 10-20 sets a night for a year…if after you’ve done that, you still hate interacting with people, then you can tell me you’re an introvert.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

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zn
on October 16, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Original Link

Interesting watch. The bungee jumping segment on body posture affecting behavior makes me wonder if the very act of holding a smart phone for increasing amounts of time, staring at the screen with chin and head tilted down reinforces bad body language habits

Or consider the average office jockey slumped over at a screen for hours…


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:58 pm
    Original Link

    Yep.

    One of the hardest parts of game for me right now is that my current job involves working in a quiet office at a computer all day. So when Friday rolls around, I’ve been silent most of the week, hunched over, haven’t used my voice or interacted with people etc. So I can end up spending half my night just getting out of that beta headspace and I’ll force myself to open up my body language in the shower and if I’m pre-drinking I’ll push myself to talk etc to get out of the bad habits I had all week.

    Compare that to a job like bartending, where every night you have to be social and alpha and outgoing and have solid confident body language etc. when your Friday off rolls around its no big deal because you’ve been embracing your alpha mannerisms all week.

    This is why I don’t give “introverts” a free pass. Most guys who identify themselves as introverts (thus giving them an excuse not to go out and socialize and learn game because that’s “just not me”) are full of shit and hiding behind a socially provided/acceptable label and haven’t actually gone out and purposely attempted to BE extroverted consistently every day/night for an extended period of time. They think “oh I went to a party a few months ago and tried to talk to people but didn’t feel comfortable so I’m an introvert”. Go out and approach 10-20 sets a night for a year…if after you’ve done that, you still hate interacting with people, then you can tell me you’re an introvert.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

ramram
on October 16, 2013 at 8:06 pm
Original Link

I wonder what’s your view on the second episode of the series – for me too much of female imperative especially that the only “experts” in the show are women



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

ramram
on October 16, 2013 at 8:06 pm
Original Link

I wonder what’s your view on the second episode of the series – for me too much of female imperative especially that the only “experts” in the show are women



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on October 16, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Original Link

Coming to the Chateau makes me sad, as it reminds me of how much of a fucking failure I am as a person (30+ year old V here). And this video is another touchy reminder of that.

And like every other beta/omega out there, I despise Naftalie for being a fucking douchebag and felt bad and related to the guys who went up and picked up his trash like two servants.

I have depression and social anxiety. I never fit in. Ever. And I hate human beings in general. We’re nothing sociopathic chimps trying to fuck each other over for pussy and I hate men because I’ve been bullied all my life and I hate women because they’ve endorsed this pain and suffering.

I really want to change, but I don’t see the light and I’m full of hate. Game works, but for stubborn, resentful, retards me I’m not so sure.

And this is not a troll post, it’s the bitter ramblings of a resentful omega prick.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 10:34 pm
    Original Link

    You have a shit-ton of issues to work on before you need game. Go see a therapist or watch/listen to a shitload of Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, and other self-hell stuff about overcoming victim mentalities, depression, resentment, negative thought patterns, etc.

    It could take you a few years of that before you’re ready to tear down poon.

    But what’s the alternative? You’re only 30. I just wrote to a dude who’s only found this shit at 45+. You have 15 years up on that guy if you really want to change your life around.

    You’re not a failure, you’re just a late starter. But you could BE a failure, if you don’t work on overcoming your own mindsets bit by bit, piece by piece, day by day. 5 years from now your life could be radically different. But it won’t get that way without you proactively working on achieving it. You can hate a millionaire for being rich and want to be rich yourself but you never will unless you take steps to make that money.

    The world will not hand you anything and no one cares if you make it or not except you, and guys here, who are on the same journey you can start on anytime you’re ready to change.


    • YaReally
      on October 17, 2013 at 12:07 am
      Original Link

      Google “Tony Robbins positivity” and read/watch everything. Buy his products or pirate them.


      • YaReally
        on October 17, 2013 at 1:02 am
        Original Link

        Whoops, these RSD vids are for Patrice above but I think I effed up posting lol



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

Patrice
on October 16, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Original Link

Coming to the Chateau makes me sad, as it reminds me of how much of a fucking failure I am as a person (30+ year old V here). And this video is another touchy reminder of that.

And like every other beta/omega out there, I despise Naftalie for being a fucking douchebag and felt bad and related to the guys who went up and picked up his trash like two servants.

I have depression and social anxiety. I never fit in. Ever. And I hate human beings in general. We’re nothing sociopathic chimps trying to fuck each other over for pussy and I hate men because I’ve been bullied all my life and I hate women because they’ve endorsed this pain and suffering.

I really want to change, but I don’t see the light and I’m full of hate. Game works, but for stubborn, resentful, retards me I’m not so sure.

And this is not a troll post, it’s the bitter ramblings of a resentful omega prick.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 10:34 pm
    Original Link

    You have a shit-ton of issues to work on before you need game. Go see a therapist or watch/listen to a shitload of Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, and other self-hell stuff about overcoming victim mentalities, depression, resentment, negative thought patterns, etc.

    It could take you a few years of that before you’re ready to tear down poon.

    But what’s the alternative? You’re only 30. I just wrote to a dude who’s only found this shit at 45+. You have 15 years up on that guy if you really want to change your life around.

    You’re not a failure, you’re just a late starter. But you could BE a failure, if you don’t work on overcoming your own mindsets bit by bit, piece by piece, day by day. 5 years from now your life could be radically different. But it won’t get that way without you proactively working on achieving it. You can hate a millionaire for being rich and want to be rich yourself but you never will unless you take steps to make that money.

    The world will not hand you anything and no one cares if you make it or not except you, and guys here, who are on the same journey you can start on anytime you’re ready to change.


    • YaReally
      on October 17, 2013 at 12:07 am
      Original Link

      Google “Tony Robbins positivity” and read/watch everything. Buy his products or pirate them.


    • YaReally
      on October 17, 2013 at 1:02 am
      Original Link

      Whoops, these RSD vids are for Patrice above but I think I effed up posting lol



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

Arronski (@Arronski)
on October 16, 2013 at 11:05 pm
Original Link

“Remember, when shaking hands, try to position your hand so that it lays slightly atop the hand of the person you’re greeting. Most people will acquiesce quietly to this dominance move.”

Doing this really just comes off bad, makes you look like a real dick.
Best way to shake is to slap your hand in to theirs – kind of a high-five vibe, but in handshake position and you grasp and shake. Guys can’t “overhand” you when you do this.

I have a bodybuilder friend who actually does both of these, only guy who pulls it off. He actually raises his hand and slaps it down in to yours, sometimes it hurts.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 11:10 pm
    Original Link

    You mean like this?:



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

Arronski (@Arronski)
on October 16, 2013 at 11:05 pm
Original Link

“Remember, when shaking hands, try to position your hand so that it lays slightly atop the hand of the person you’re greeting. Most people will acquiesce quietly to this dominance move.”

Doing this really just comes off bad, makes you look like a real dick.
Best way to shake is to slap your hand in to theirs – kind of a high-five vibe, but in handshake position and you grasp and shake. Guys can’t “overhand” you when you do this.

I have a bodybuilder friend who actually does both of these, only guy who pulls it off. He actually raises his hand and slaps it down in to yours, sometimes it hurts.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 11:10 pm
    Original Link

    You mean like this?:



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 16, 2013 at 11:08 pm
Original Link

What’s going on here?? How come these guys didn’t instantly explode Vitaly’s face with their thunder-fists like guys who don’t to out told me they would???? How did he upload this video from the hospital, I mean, he must be in traction, everyone knows that if you say or do anything big muscled guys don’t approve of, they’ll instantly punch your face in and try to kill you.



National Geographic Agrees: The Human Alpha Male Is Real

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on October 16, 2013 at 11:08 pm
Original Link

What’s going on here?? How come these guys didn’t instantly explode Vitaly’s face with their thunder-fists like guys who don’t to out told me they would???? How did he upload this video from the hospital, I mean, he must be in traction, everyone knows that if you say or do anything big muscled guys don’t approve of, they’ll instantly punch your face in and try to kill you.



The Wickedest Links

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Hunter
on October 15, 2013 at 10:47 am
Original Link

Two biggest insights from going out these past two weeks:

1) I can go out alone.
2) I’m sabotaging myself.

I’ve been doing around 20-30 approaches over the weekends and these last two weeks I’ve been approaching out of state. Just being awkward. It feels like a plateau. Whereas before approaching was exciting and new and I’d gain confidence just off of the approach, it doesn’t excite me as much as it as it used to. I think that’s coming across in my sets (okay there were two good ones). There was a really good set that I let go when I was out alone, but I was insecure about my dirty clothes lol (long story). It would’ve been awesome tho, got a shit test right off the bat. A story for another time…

Anyway, I come to this point where I hit attraction on the dance floor and then nobody says anything while dancing and it gets awkward. I’m not sure why this keeps happening (it’ll be high energy and fun and we dance and the attraction is on, but then it’ll get awkward because the two-set is apart of a much larger group of HS friends, sooooo… obviously not trying to raise my target’s ASD, so I just do nothing?). I wish I knew what to do here.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that since this month I’ve tried to get a handle on approaching, I somehow forgot about shittesting. Basically realized I’ve been supplicating everytime I walk up, therefore displaying no personality or intent. It always comes off as “don’t reject me!” instead of “lol baby i know you want me just AD-MIT it!” That playfulness that was there in my prior weeks somehow vanished when I focused exclusively on approaching. What a crazy flip-flop: I go from almost badass dancing on the street and girls loving it, to stifled approach machine who can’t find the words to continue a conversation anymore.

Definitely going to calibrate in my next approaches.

Ejecting is still a problem, so to combat this, I’ve stayed in groups way longer than I usually do just to deal with the social pressure. Only a couple times, but I dunno, better than nothing.

It’s kinda weird I started having this pua identity, but then somehow destroyed that and started sucking again. So now I’m in this weird stage where I’m not sure what to think or believe or accept. It’s supposed to come from myself, I know… and I think that’s where I’m headed next.

P.S. I’ve sexted this blonde twice to orgasm (her) and I want to get her to meetup. She’s a total freak, really into cocky assholes. It’s weird cuz I sent her YaReally style texts and she literally ate it up and then I made her touch herself lol with descriptive verbose texts. I remember the last time I asked her to meetup I betafied and she was like uhhhh gross you’re not as alpha as I thought you were (paraphrasing), but I came back, was basically a dick, she sent pics and I didn’t try and pressure her to meetup. A bit stalkerish, but she lives nearby now so any tips on how to instigate a meetup without setting off her ASD? We have had no comfort at all.


  • YaReally
    on October 15, 2013 at 4:32 pm
    Original Link

    Okay I’ve finally got some advice/direction for ya lol. I’ll type up a long-ass response here so check back. Sorry for waiting so long but I don’t want to throw random advice at you just for the sake of replying and send you down a path that’s a waste of time or leads you somewhere shitty cause that’d do more harm than good.

    You’re heading in the right direction but you’re a bull in a china shop playing the numbers game right now, which is great for breaking thru approach anxiety etc but it’s not focused enough to get you to the lay. It’s like being a passionate fighter who doesn’t have much technical boxing training…you can plow thru with sheer determination/enthusiasm now and then, but focusing on the technical side of game will help you stack the odds more in your favor. So I’m gonna recommend some techy stuff for you to focus on.


    • Hunter
      on October 16, 2013 at 10:30 am
      Original Link

      Lol finally! Totally understand. Patiently waiting for this advice now. And I will totally do everything that’s in it.


      • YaReally
        on October 16, 2013 at 10:53 am
        Original Link

        lol it’s in mod, check back later today or tomorrow hopefully.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:55 am
    Original Link

    @Hunter

    Alright, from your Field Reports it sounds like you’re just lacking focus in set. You’re reading/learning a lot of theory, and throwing yourself into sets and sticking in them, but once you’re IN set, it sounds like you’re just kind of winging it and basically running Natural game. The prob is that you’re not a Natural yet, so you’re basically ending up rolling the dice and hoping for the best. That can work, but it’s a low % play. Even if your sub-communications, vocal tonality, confidence, etc. were solid, you’d still be running into tactical roadblocks.

    So you get in there and forget to win over the group, or get tripped up by shit-tests, or don’t lead things anywhere, or don’t escalate, or don’t isolate the girl, etc. etc. It’s like you’re getting in a car and flooring the gas, but forgetting to put the key in the engine or put the car in Drive etc.

    Like staying in set instead of ejecting is good, but if you’re not figuring out how to turn things around, you’re not really developing more than a tolerance to social pressure…which is a good thing to build, but it’s not going to lead the set anywhere.

    So I’m going to recommend a bit of strategic hyper-focus.

    Each night you go out, pick just one thing to work on and make it a mission to focus on that one thing. How the set goes doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you practice the thing you pick for that night. Keep in mind that this is going to be weird and feel weird and you’re going to weird some girls out, so you may want to only do it when you’re solo and not when you’re out with friends, and definitely don’t do it on girls in your social circles lol Some examples of missions:

    - Eye-contact: Lock eye-contact with the girl. Every girl you talk to, look her in the eyes and don’t look away. Stare her down as you guys talk. Learn to calibrate how much eye-contact crosses the line into creepy. Do this until girls start telling you you have nice eyes, that’s when you know you’re hitting the sweet spot. Soon as you break eye-contact, or she’s weirded out, bail and open the next girl.

    - Kino: Greet every single set with a handshake, followed by pulling them (as you look them in the eye and smile) into you and placing their hands around your shoulders as you place yours around their waist. Do this with every set. Some of them will run away or be creeped out, but that’s fine, learn to calibrate when you can/can’t get away with this. Do this until you can get at least half your sets to have their arms around your shoulders with yours around their waist. Soon as you get your arms around eachother, just walk away and do it to the next girl.

    - Leading: Try to move every single set you open. As soon as you get an ioi, or even before it, make eye contact, have a big smile on your face, take them by the hand or wrist (gently of course lol) and say “come with me” while you look at them and pull (don’t look away, they have to see your face and make a judgement call to trust you and your vibe) and just assume that they’ll come with you. Imagine there’s a million dollar check waiting for them at one of the bars, or the dance floor, or the smoke pit…like you’re about to take them to the greatest experience of their life, getting a million dollars, so any hesitation they have is silly and nonsense and you would just reply with “shh, it’s fine, trust me. Come.” and lead them. Do this all night with every single set, until at least half the girls you open will follow you to another spot in the bar. As soon as they follow you to wherever (literally just pick a spot in the bar that’s like 10 feet away), just walk away and do it to the next girl.

    - Isolating: Try to move every single girl you open away from her friends, or at the very least turn her away from her friends so her back is to them. I like to either physically pull them in and step to the side so their back is facing their friends, or I’ll just start saying something and as I’m talking I take a couple steps to the side…out of natural instinct/politeness, they’ll turn to stay facing me as we talk but they’ll end up with their backs to their friends. Try to get her to take 5 steps away from her friends with her back to them. Do this until almost all of your sets turn their back on their friends. As soon as they have their back to their friends and/or are a few steps away from them, walk away and do it to the next girl.

    - Heavy Leading/Isolating: Try to lead every single girl you open out of the club for food in under 5 minutes. Open, tease a bit, then say “hey I’m getting pizza up the street. Come with me, we’ll come right back after.” and pull them by the hand/wrist (lightly lol) toward the door. They’ll probably say they can’t leave their friends or they don’t know you etc. Just say “it’s fine, we’ll be back before they even notice” or “get them and we’ll all go together” or “my name is Hunter, what’s your name?” and build some quick rapport/comfort, then try again 10 minutes later. Then try again 15 minutes later. If she still won’t come with you, walk away and do it to the next girl. Do this all night, right up till last call, on every girl you open. If you get her out of the club just say “I forgot to tell my friend, I’ll be right back” and go back in and do it to the next girl. Do this all night.

    - Vocal tonality: Use a loud commanding breaking rapport tone of voice with every girl you open. Focus on commands and statements. “YOU. HERE. NOW. COME. What’s your name. Interesting. You’re not from around here are you.” No questions, no question marks, and no raising your voice up like when you ask a question. Just be a complete authoritative force. Mimic this guy:

    Watch his Old Spice commercials before you go out and pretend to be him for the night. Do this until you can get at least half your sets to follow your commands. Once they come over, or answer your questions, etc., walk away and go do it to the next girl.

    - Cold reading: Cold read every set with the same cold-reads. If it’s a 2-set, tell one girl you can tell she’s the good girl and the other girl she’s the bad girl of the group. Then cold-read that they must be nurses. “Let me guess, you’re both nurses.” If it’s a solo set, cold read her as knowing how to party, being trouble and being a nurse. If it’s a 3+ set, cold read them all as random personality types (the smart girl, the shy girl, the out-going girl, and the mother hen of the group). Do this for every set all night. Soon as they ask you “why do you think that??”, say “I can’t tell you.” and walk away and go do it to the next set.

    - Escalating: Go for the makeout within 30 seconds of opening every girl you approach. Look her in the eyes, look at her lips, look back at her eyes, pull her in, put a hand on her cheek, and go for the kiss. Do it mid-sentence, or ask her a question and then do it, or just do it without saying a word. Most girls will pull away from you and be freaked out…just smile and laugh it off and say “lol sorry, I think you’re gorgeous. I should’ve introduced myself first, my name is Hunter.” Then try again within 5 minutes. Then try again within 15 minutes. If you get the makeout, or don’t get it by 15 minutes in, walk away and go do it to the next girl. Do this until you get like a 10-20% success rate with it.

    - Group theory: Introduce yourself to everyone in the group except the hottest one. Save her to introduce yourself to last, but instead of introducing yourself to her, keep talking to the girl right before her and ask her some bullshit about “that’s a nice name, but my ex had that name. I don’t know if we can be friends, she broke my heart lol” and keep talking to her, then “forget” to introduce yourself to the hot one and just talk to the group. Do this until either the hot one calls you out on not introducing yourself to her, or until 15 minutes is up. Then walk away and do it to the next group set. Do this all night long, set after set.

    - Qualifying: Have 3 screening/qualifying questions that you’re going to ask every girl you talk to. Something like “Can you cook? I like when a girl knows how to cook.” (she answers yes/no) “Do you work out? I don’t like lazy girls.” (she answers yes/no) “You’re not from here, are you?” (she answers yes/no) To each of her answers just reply “Interesting…” or “I thought so…” or “I could tell…” Randomly react positive or negative to her responses. Either go “Oh no, that’s too bad” and turn your back to her, and on the last answer say “Okay, you pass. You can be my girlfriend for the night.” and pull her into you. Use these same 3 qualifiers on every girl, and do this until at least half of them actually answer your questions. Once you get through all 3 questions and tell her she can be your girlfriend for the night, try to kiss her, then walk away and do it to the next girl. Do this all night on every girl you talk to.

    - Story-telling: Come up with a 5-10 minute story about something interesting that’s happened to you and tell that story to every single set you talk to. Find a way to lead the conversation to it naturally. “Your name is Sarah? That’s weird, I met a girl named Sarah when I was (insert story)” Make the story ridiculous and clearly bullshit, or play it all straight, doesn’t matter. Finish the story off with asking her a question about herself that relates to the story (“have YOU ever–?”). As soon as she answers you, walk away and go do the same thing to the next girl. Do this until pretty much every set listens to your full story and answers your question. Do this all night.

    Get the idea? The key is picking one thing to hyper-focus on for the night. The results don’t matter, all you’re doing is building individual skills that you can later combine together. A lot of this will push your comfort zone, and will weird girls out, and will come off weird until you learn to calibrate it, and walking away in some situations will seem socially retarded, but that doesn’t matter. You’re just racking up massive reference experiences.

    Once you’ve built up the individual skills, we can take them and apply them together strategically. Think of this as waxing Mr. Miyagi’s car and painting his fences. We’ll put it all together into combinations later. ie – Opening with a commanding tonality, telling her to “YOU. COME.” and pulling her in with her back to her friends, then qualifying her with the 3 questions, then going for the makeout, then leading her to another part of the bar, escalating, then leading her out of the bar for pizza up the street.

    A solid efficient consistent pickup is simply a strategic combination and application of a sequence of individual skills. Right now you’re kind of all over the charts swinging wildly once you get in set so it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere. So we focus on the basics and tighten those up so that when you’re in set you instinctively pull those skills out when your calibration tells you to, and then we apply an overall general strategy that all these skills can be dropped into to create the most efficient consistent play.

    After THAT, you can go back to just naturally improvising and winging shit, because you’ll have your basics tight and instinctive and calibrated.



The Wickedest Links

Original Link

via Heartiste

Hunter
on October 15, 2013 at 10:47 am
Original Link

Two biggest insights from going out these past two weeks:

1) I can go out alone.
2) I’m sabotaging myself.

I’ve been doing around 20-30 approaches over the weekends and these last two weeks I’ve been approaching out of state. Just being awkward. It feels like a plateau. Whereas before approaching was exciting and new and I’d gain confidence just off of the approach, it doesn’t excite me as much as it as it used to. I think that’s coming across in my sets (okay there were two good ones). There was a really good set that I let go when I was out alone, but I was insecure about my dirty clothes lol (long story). It would’ve been awesome tho, got a shit test right off the bat. A story for another time…

Anyway, I come to this point where I hit attraction on the dance floor and then nobody says anything while dancing and it gets awkward. I’m not sure why this keeps happening (it’ll be high energy and fun and we dance and the attraction is on, but then it’ll get awkward because the two-set is apart of a much larger group of HS friends, sooooo… obviously not trying to raise my target’s ASD, so I just do nothing?). I wish I knew what to do here.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that since this month I’ve tried to get a handle on approaching, I somehow forgot about shittesting. Basically realized I’ve been supplicating everytime I walk up, therefore displaying no personality or intent. It always comes off as “don’t reject me!” instead of “lol baby i know you want me just AD-MIT it!” That playfulness that was there in my prior weeks somehow vanished when I focused exclusively on approaching. What a crazy flip-flop: I go from almost badass dancing on the street and girls loving it, to stifled approach machine who can’t find the words to continue a conversation anymore.

Definitely going to calibrate in my next approaches.

Ejecting is still a problem, so to combat this, I’ve stayed in groups way longer than I usually do just to deal with the social pressure. Only a couple times, but I dunno, better than nothing.

It’s kinda weird I started having this pua identity, but then somehow destroyed that and started sucking again. So now I’m in this weird stage where I’m not sure what to think or believe or accept. It’s supposed to come from myself, I know… and I think that’s where I’m headed next.

P.S. I’ve sexted this blonde twice to orgasm (her) and I want to get her to meetup. She’s a total freak, really into cocky assholes. It’s weird cuz I sent her YaReally style texts and she literally ate it up and then I made her touch herself lol with descriptive verbose texts. I remember the last time I asked her to meetup I betafied and she was like uhhhh gross you’re not as alpha as I thought you were (paraphrasing), but I came back, was basically a dick, she sent pics and I didn’t try and pressure her to meetup. A bit stalkerish, but she lives nearby now so any tips on how to instigate a meetup without setting off her ASD? We have had no comfort at all.


  • YaReally
    on October 15, 2013 at 4:32 pm
    Original Link

    Okay I’ve finally got some advice/direction for ya lol. I’ll type up a long-ass response here so check back. Sorry for waiting so long but I don’t want to throw random advice at you just for the sake of replying and send you down a path that’s a waste of time or leads you somewhere shitty cause that’d do more harm than good.

    You’re heading in the right direction but you’re a bull in a china shop playing the numbers game right now, which is great for breaking thru approach anxiety etc but it’s not focused enough to get you to the lay. It’s like being a passionate fighter who doesn’t have much technical boxing training…you can plow thru with sheer determination/enthusiasm now and then, but focusing on the technical side of game will help you stack the odds more in your favor. So I’m gonna recommend some techy stuff for you to focus on.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 10:53 am
      Original Link

      lol it’s in mod, check back later today or tomorrow hopefully.


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 8:55 am
    Original Link

    @Hunter

    Alright, from your Field Reports it sounds like you’re just lacking focus in set. You’re reading/learning a lot of theory, and throwing yourself into sets and sticking in them, but once you’re IN set, it sounds like you’re just kind of winging it and basically running Natural game. The prob is that you’re not a Natural yet, so you’re basically ending up rolling the dice and hoping for the best. That can work, but it’s a low % play. Even if your sub-communications, vocal tonality, confidence, etc. were solid, you’d still be running into tactical roadblocks.

    So you get in there and forget to win over the group, or get tripped up by shit-tests, or don’t lead things anywhere, or don’t escalate, or don’t isolate the girl, etc. etc. It’s like you’re getting in a car and flooring the gas, but forgetting to put the key in the engine or put the car in Drive etc.

    Like staying in set instead of ejecting is good, but if you’re not figuring out how to turn things around, you’re not really developing more than a tolerance to social pressure…which is a good thing to build, but it’s not going to lead the set anywhere.

    So I’m going to recommend a bit of strategic hyper-focus.

    Each night you go out, pick just one thing to work on and make it a mission to focus on that one thing. How the set goes doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you practice the thing you pick for that night. Keep in mind that this is going to be weird and feel weird and you’re going to weird some girls out, so you may want to only do it when you’re solo and not when you’re out with friends, and definitely don’t do it on girls in your social circles lol Some examples of missions:

    – Eye-contact: Lock eye-contact with the girl. Every girl you talk to, look her in the eyes and don’t look away. Stare her down as you guys talk. Learn to calibrate how much eye-contact crosses the line into creepy. Do this until girls start telling you you have nice eyes, that’s when you know you’re hitting the sweet spot. Soon as you break eye-contact, or she’s weirded out, bail and open the next girl.

    – Kino: Greet every single set with a handshake, followed by pulling them (as you look them in the eye and smile) into you and placing their hands around your shoulders as you place yours around their waist. Do this with every set. Some of them will run away or be creeped out, but that’s fine, learn to calibrate when you can/can’t get away with this. Do this until you can get at least half your sets to have their arms around your shoulders with yours around their waist. Soon as you get your arms around eachother, just walk away and do it to the next girl.

    – Leading: Try to move every single set you open. As soon as you get an ioi, or even before it, make eye contact, have a big smile on your face, take them by the hand or wrist (gently of course lol) and say “come with me” while you look at them and pull (don’t look away, they have to see your face and make a judgement call to trust you and your vibe) and just assume that they’ll come with you. Imagine there’s a million dollar check waiting for them at one of the bars, or the dance floor, or the smoke pit…like you’re about to take them to the greatest experience of their life, getting a million dollars, so any hesitation they have is silly and nonsense and you would just reply with “shh, it’s fine, trust me. Come.” and lead them. Do this all night with every single set, until at least half the girls you open will follow you to another spot in the bar. As soon as they follow you to wherever (literally just pick a spot in the bar that’s like 10 feet away), just walk away and do it to the next girl.

    – Isolating: Try to move every single girl you open away from her friends, or at the very least turn her away from her friends so her back is to them. I like to either physically pull them in and step to the side so their back is facing their friends, or I’ll just start saying something and as I’m talking I take a couple steps to the side…out of natural instinct/politeness, they’ll turn to stay facing me as we talk but they’ll end up with their backs to their friends. Try to get her to take 5 steps away from her friends with her back to them. Do this until almost all of your sets turn their back on their friends. As soon as they have their back to their friends and/or are a few steps away from them, walk away and do it to the next girl.

    – Heavy Leading/Isolating: Try to lead every single girl you open out of the club for food in under 5 minutes. Open, tease a bit, then say “hey I’m getting pizza up the street. Come with me, we’ll come right back after.” and pull them by the hand/wrist (lightly lol) toward the door. They’ll probably say they can’t leave their friends or they don’t know you etc. Just say “it’s fine, we’ll be back before they even notice” or “get them and we’ll all go together” or “my name is Hunter, what’s your name?” and build some quick rapport/comfort, then try again 10 minutes later. Then try again 15 minutes later. If she still won’t come with you, walk away and do it to the next girl. Do this all night, right up till last call, on every girl you open. If you get her out of the club just say “I forgot to tell my friend, I’ll be right back” and go back in and do it to the next girl. Do this all night.

    – Vocal tonality: Use a loud commanding breaking rapport tone of voice with every girl you open. Focus on commands and statements. “YOU. HERE. NOW. COME. What’s your name. Interesting. You’re not from around here are you.” No questions, no question marks, and no raising your voice up like when you ask a question. Just be a complete authoritative force. Mimic this guy:

    Watch his Old Spice commercials before you go out and pretend to be him for the night. Do this until you can get at least half your sets to follow your commands. Once they come over, or answer your questions, etc., walk away and go do it to the next girl.

    – Cold reading: Cold read every set with the same cold-reads. If it’s a 2-set, tell one girl you can tell she’s the good girl and the other girl she’s the bad girl of the group. Then cold-read that they must be nurses. “Let me guess, you’re both nurses.” If it’s a solo set, cold read her as knowing how to party, being trouble and being a nurse. If it’s a 3+ set, cold read them all as random personality types (the smart girl, the shy girl, the out-going girl, and the mother hen of the group). Do this for every set all night. Soon as they ask you “why do you think that??”, say “I can’t tell you.” and walk away and go do it to the next set.

    – Escalating: Go for the makeout within 30 seconds of opening every girl you approach. Look her in the eyes, look at her lips, look back at her eyes, pull her in, put a hand on her cheek, and go for the kiss. Do it mid-sentence, or ask her a question and then do it, or just do it without saying a word. Most girls will pull away from you and be freaked out…just smile and laugh it off and say “lol sorry, I think you’re gorgeous. I should’ve introduced myself first, my name is Hunter.” Then try again within 5 minutes. Then try again within 15 minutes. If you get the makeout, or don’t get it by 15 minutes in, walk away and go do it to the next girl. Do this until you get like a 10-20% success rate with it.

    – Group theory: Introduce yourself to everyone in the group except the hottest one. Save her to introduce yourself to last, but instead of introducing yourself to her, keep talking to the girl right before her and ask her some bullshit about “that’s a nice name, but my ex had that name. I don’t know if we can be friends, she broke my heart lol” and keep talking to her, then “forget” to introduce yourself to the hot one and just talk to the group. Do this until either the hot one calls you out on not introducing yourself to her, or until 15 minutes is up. Then walk away and do it to the next group set. Do this all night long, set after set.

    – Qualifying: Have 3 screening/qualifying questions that you’re going to ask every girl you talk to. Something like “Can you cook? I like when a girl knows how to cook.” (she answers yes/no) “Do you work out? I don’t like lazy girls.” (she answers yes/no) “You’re not from here, are you?” (she answers yes/no) To each of her answers just reply “Interesting…” or “I thought so…” or “I could tell…” Randomly react positive or negative to her responses. Either go “Oh no, that’s too bad” and turn your back to her, and on the last answer say “Okay, you pass. You can be my girlfriend for the night.” and pull her into you. Use these same 3 qualifiers on every girl, and do this until at least half of them actually answer your questions. Once you get through all 3 questions and tell her she can be your girlfriend for the night, try to kiss her, then walk away and do it to the next girl. Do this all night on every girl you talk to.

    – Story-telling: Come up with a 5-10 minute story about something interesting that’s happened to you and tell that story to every single set you talk to. Find a way to lead the conversation to it naturally. “Your name is Sarah? That’s weird, I met a girl named Sarah when I was (insert story)” Make the story ridiculous and clearly bullshit, or play it all straight, doesn’t matter. Finish the story off with asking her a question about herself that relates to the story (“have YOU ever–?”). As soon as she answers you, walk away and go do the same thing to the next girl. Do this until pretty much every set listens to your full story and answers your question. Do this all night.

    Get the idea? The key is picking one thing to hyper-focus on for the night. The results don’t matter, all you’re doing is building individual skills that you can later combine together. A lot of this will push your comfort zone, and will weird girls out, and will come off weird until you learn to calibrate it, and walking away in some situations will seem socially retarded, but that doesn’t matter. You’re just racking up massive reference experiences.

    Once you’ve built up the individual skills, we can take them and apply them together strategically. Think of this as waxing Mr. Miyagi’s car and painting his fences. We’ll put it all together into combinations later. ie – Opening with a commanding tonality, telling her to “YOU. COME.” and pulling her in with her back to her friends, then qualifying her with the 3 questions, then going for the makeout, then leading her to another part of the bar, escalating, then leading her out of the bar for pizza up the street.

    A solid efficient consistent pickup is simply a strategic combination and application of a sequence of individual skills. Right now you’re kind of all over the charts swinging wildly once you get in set so it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere. So we focus on the basics and tighten those up so that when you’re in set you instinctively pull those skills out when your calibration tells you to, and then we apply an overall general strategy that all these skills can be dropped into to create the most efficient consistent play.

    After THAT, you can go back to just naturally improvising and winging shit, because you’ll have your basics tight and instinctive and calibrated.



The Wickedest Links

Original Link

via Heartiste

FuriousFerret
on October 15, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Original Link

I nominate this Neo Geo video for an add on to the wickedest links:

Nat Geo: Going Ape: The Alpha Male


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 11:31 am
    Original Link

    This is excellent. Lots of good examples of social dynamics here.

    Best part is how a lot of the stuff they’re doing (invading people’s space, using an authoritative tone of voice to bark commands, competing for attention, making other people come to you to shake your hand instead of going to them, how alpha males react when their alpha status is subverted or challenged etc.) are things that guys who don’t go out and interact socially much would say “Whatever man, if you told me to get out of your box, I would tell you to fuck off and then punch you in the face!” or “You can’t take a chair from my MMA buddy, he’d beat the shit out of you and then bang the prom queen”

    In reality, in the moment, people react on instinct and very few people will react by throwing down fists unless they’re mentally unstable unhinged socially inept psychopaths who are generally easy to avoid, or unless you take part in the “monkey dance” ritual of helping escalate a situation to violence.

    Great video, thanks for linking it.


    • Jay in DC
      on October 16, 2013 at 4:38 pm
      Original Link

      In reality, in the moment, people react on instinct and very few people will react by throwing down fists unless they’re mentally unstable unhinged socially inept psychopaths who are generally easy to avoid, or unless you take part in the “monkey dance” ritual of helping escalate a situation to violence.

      I’m in general agreement and this is what you said before about this topic but there is a rather large X factor you are neglecting in this equation. These guys are all stone cold sober (presumably) in these situations. Your so-called “psychopaths” lots of times are pretty normal guys heavily influenced by liquid courage so rational thought tends to go out the fucking window. Most of the scraps I’ve been in have been drunken ones by either one or both parties. So you can run your “burn” game but if the dude is already hammered he try to lay you out straight away, whereas, with a clearer mind he’d take a different action.


      • YaReally
        on October 16, 2013 at 7:09 pm
        Original Link

        If you can’t tell from someone’s body language that they’re too shit-faced to interact with and that you should walk away, you’re going to get into a lot of fights.

        “Hey man where are your friends?” from douchey frat bro with his buddies who chugged a few beers and shots before coming out = “banging your mom bro. Lol you had to know I was gonna say that. It’s cool man, what’s your name, I’m Bob and this is Sarah and Amanda.” no big deal.

        “HEY…you fucknnn…(up in your space, staring, tilting over) wherez yer fuckin frndsss huh…(death glare” = “over there somewhere, you guys have a good night” and walk away.

        This isn’t hard lol. What do you think alcohol does, hides inside a person so they’re standing there quoting Shakespeare until something sets them off and them BAM they turn into a raging Mike Tyson? Just go out a lot and you learn to read how drunk/angry/bravadoy/etc people are when you look at them or interact with them.



The Wickedest Links

Original Link

via Heartiste

FuriousFerret
on October 15, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Original Link

I nominate this Neo Geo video for an add on to the wickedest links:

Nat Geo: Going Ape: The Alpha Male


  • YaReally
    on October 16, 2013 at 11:31 am
    Original Link

    This is excellent. Lots of good examples of social dynamics here.

    Best part is how a lot of the stuff they’re doing (invading people’s space, using an authoritative tone of voice to bark commands, competing for attention, making other people come to you to shake your hand instead of going to them, how alpha males react when their alpha status is subverted or challenged etc.) are things that guys who don’t go out and interact socially much would say “Whatever man, if you told me to get out of your box, I would tell you to fuck off and then punch you in the face!” or “You can’t take a chair from my MMA buddy, he’d beat the shit out of you and then bang the prom queen”

    In reality, in the moment, people react on instinct and very few people will react by throwing down fists unless they’re mentally unstable unhinged socially inept psychopaths who are generally easy to avoid, or unless you take part in the “monkey dance” ritual of helping escalate a situation to violence.

    Great video, thanks for linking it.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 7:09 pm
      Original Link

      If you can’t tell from someone’s body language that they’re too shit-faced to interact with and that you should walk away, you’re going to get into a lot of fights.

      “Hey man where are your friends?” from douchey frat bro with his buddies who chugged a few beers and shots before coming out = “banging your mom bro. Lol you had to know I was gonna say that. It’s cool man, what’s your name, I’m Bob and this is Sarah and Amanda.” no big deal.

      “HEY…you fucknnn…(up in your space, staring, tilting over) wherez yer fuckin frndsss huh…(death glare” = “over there somewhere, you guys have a good night” and walk away.

      This isn’t hard lol. What do you think alcohol does, hides inside a person so they’re standing there quoting Shakespeare until something sets them off and them BAM they turn into a raging Mike Tyson? Just go out a lot and you learn to read how drunk/angry/bravadoy/etc people are when you look at them or interact with them.



Anchoring

Original Link

via Heartiste

datbro
on October 14, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Original Link

Mystery is also 6’3″, white with a decent looking face, dresses to convey personality unlike the rest of the drones

and if that wasnt enough, he has the celebrity status that makes all of the above irrelevant in the first place.

yawn….

Being said, a spot on technique. Another easy way is to pick out a goofy looking character at a bar you’ve made a joke of and reference him again in a teasing context.


  • Jay in DC
    on October 14, 2013 at 8:23 pm
    Original Link

    Precisely… this seems to be lost on many. If you are a decent looking white boy over 6′ who isn’t a total a) slob b) beta herb c) indoctrinated libtard faggot you basically are half-way there. If you’ve rejected your programming from the Cathedral, and are not risk aversive, this basically means you can turn yourself into a fucking machine. The Sperminator. Or something like that in fairly short order. Haplotype Game, for the win…


    • PimpinBlueStar
      on October 14, 2013 at 10:33 pm
      Original Link

      …then there’s reality, where most people don’t even bother to understand things beyond a superficial level (let alone their own behaviors and motivations) … and the 6′ white guy never reaches anything near potential with the opposite sex because he’s too invested in his ego.

      lol at all you guys leaning on external attributes as a means of establishing a “pecking order.”


      • YaReally
        on October 14, 2013 at 11:04 pm
        Original Link

        Anyone who hasn’t seen a short/fat/Asian/poor/whatever guy pimping it in-field with girls up on him hasn’t spent enough time in the field meeting enough of a variety of people.



Anchoring

Original Link

via Heartiste

datbro
on October 14, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Original Link

Mystery is also 6’3″, white with a decent looking face, dresses to convey personality unlike the rest of the drones

and if that wasnt enough, he has the celebrity status that makes all of the above irrelevant in the first place.

yawn….

Being said, a spot on technique. Another easy way is to pick out a goofy looking character at a bar you’ve made a joke of and reference him again in a teasing context.


  • Jay in DC
    on October 14, 2013 at 8:23 pm
    Original Link

    Precisely… this seems to be lost on many. If you are a decent looking white boy over 6′ who isn’t a total a) slob b) beta herb c) indoctrinated libtard faggot you basically are half-way there. If you’ve rejected your programming from the Cathedral, and are not risk aversive, this basically means you can turn yourself into a fucking machine. The Sperminator. Or something like that in fairly short order. Haplotype Game, for the win…


    • YaReally
      on October 14, 2013 at 11:04 pm
      Original Link

      Anyone who hasn’t seen a short/fat/Asian/poor/whatever guy pimping it in-field with girls up on him hasn’t spent enough time in the field meeting enough of a variety of people.


    • YaReally
      on October 16, 2013 at 11:38 am
      Original Link

      Left a reply there for ya



Anchoring

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PB
on October 14, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Original Link

Hey YaReally, when you are rolling solo how would you approach an AMOG that keeps asking you in front of your targets (who he might be friends with, it depends on the situation) where your friends are, to make you look like a loser with no friends? A&a?


  • YaReally
    on October 14, 2013 at 10:17 pm
    Original Link

    A&A: “I’m a loser and I have no friends. That’s why these girls hate me. Especially this one. But I think she hates EVERYONE. Why are you so mean to strangers, Jessica? You monster.”

    Burn: “They’re all busy fucking your mom. She likes more than one dick at a time. You probably didn’t know because she thinks your dick is too small to invite you.”

    DHV: “They cancelled at the last minute and I was already showered up so I figured I’d just come out on my own and make some new friends tonight.”

    Social pressure: “They had to bail early tonight. Your friends here seem cool, which one of them is your girlfriend? Oh? Neither of them? What, you don’t want to fuck them? Are you blind, man?? They’re gorgeous. You’re not gay are you? I’m not into sucking cock. Except that one time on New Years Eve. That’s not gay, is it girls?”

    Assume attraction & befriend: “Right here. These girls have taken pity on my lonely soul and are adopting me like a poor unloved orphan. You’re welcome to join us. Oh, you girls know him? Cool man, what’s your name? (put hand out for handshake)”

    YaReally style: “I’m out alone. I don’t like to bring witnesses when I’m raping and murdering slutty girls I meet at the bar. A guy can only bury so many bodies in one night, know what I mean?”

    …I don’t recommend the last one.

    It only makes you look like a loser if you think it makes you look like a loser. Strongest frame always wins. Always.

    If someone else’s frame is stronger, apply social pressure to weaken it until yours wins. Then relieve the social pressure and reward them for caving to your frame by extending an olive branch to befriend him. He’ll reciprocate out of relief and gratitude for relieving the social pressure you applied.


    • PB
      on October 14, 2013 at 10:34 pm
      Original Link

      Solid. Thanks dude.


      • YaReally
        on October 14, 2013 at 10:56 pm
        Original Link

        The key is to reframe whatever he says, and then lead the conversation.

        “I’m a loser with no friends.”
        “Lol ya buddy, you (bla bla bla)”

        This example is gay. You’re letting him lead and you might zing him but you’re just prolonging the “battle” not leading it to a conclusion. Think of it like only blocking in a fight…ya you’re not getting knocked out, but you’re not ending the fight either and you’re needlessly risking him slipping a lucky punch in.

        “I’m a loser with no friends, but these girls have taken me under their wing. Which one of them is your girlfriend?”
        “Huh? Uhh well neither, they’re just my frien–”
        “Really? You can’t tell me you aren’t secretly in love with one of them.”
        “What? I–” (girls going “omg”)
        “Probably not THIS one tho. (Heavy eye contact with the one you have the best vibe with) I don’t think any guy could STAND her. (Slight grin so she knows you’re fucking around)
        (Girl): “hey!! I–”
        “No don’t try to justify it. When I said hi you looked at me like you hated me. Is it because you’re so in love with me that you have to mask your love by pretending to hate me? It’s alright, open your heart and let it out. I love you too.”
        (AMOG): (invisible and silent trying to comprehend what just happened)
        “Come. Lets go get a drink. (Throw her over your shoulder and carry her off)”

        In this example there’s pretty much nothing the guy can do because you put him on the defensive, apply some social pressure, cold read him in a way that makes him stutter, tease the girl, spike her temp and cut him out, then physically isolate her while her emotions are spiking.

        All the guy can really do is stand there in the dust.

        This is why it’s a lot easier to AMOG the James Bond wannabes with their aloof one-word coolness. Chicks don’t give a shit what you say, they care about what you make them feel. You can AMOG with less verbosity but its not as engaging for the girl and the less words you use the higher the initial attraction you need to start with is.

        ie – if she sees you as low value (ie – first approaching), James Bond style AMOG’ing won’t raise your value much. If you’re high value, James Bond is fine because you already have enough attraction. But if you’re low value, verbose AMOG’ing will build/demonstrate your value and make you high-value. And if you’re high value and verbose AMOG, your value goes thru the roof.

        If your personality is naturally very James Bondish silent and mysterious, you’d better have SUPER fucking tight efficient game and fully understand the fundamentals solid, cause if a guy like me comes up, while you’re standing there turning your nose up at my “antics” waiting to get your one-word alpha zing in there, your girls are laughing their asses off as their temps spike and I’m working on isolating them from you before you get that jumbotron word in.


        • PB
          on October 14, 2013 at 11:25 pm
          Original Link

          Are you suggesting that you’re unlikely to win unless you can match or beat their tempo/energy level? I’m far from an aloof James Bond type but I’m also not the super talkative entertainer type. I’m somewhere in the middle – I can hold a group’s attention occasionally but can’t just yap away endlessly, it’s not my style to want to be the center of attention all the time. And while I can see your point that the typical AMOG would probably respond to “friendly confrontation” or DHV by toning down the hostility, these kind of AMOGs tend to roll in their bro groups and often one of the girls is already in with one of the bros so it makes it harder to either get taken in by the group or to play on their insecurity by pointing out how they can’t stay away from their bros (I’ve noticed that more often than not these type of dudes are very out of their element and borderline shy when alone – but again, they’re always in their group, whether it’s going out, hitting the gym, Sunday football, etc).


          • YaReally
            on October 15, 2013 at 3:28 pm
            Original Link

            “Are you suggesting that you’re unlikely to win unless you can match or beat their tempo/energy level?”

            Not unlikely, but it’s a lot tougher when you’re low energy.

            Think about fighting again: if you’re mostly chill and defend 10 punches for every 1 you throw out, you’re giving them a lot more chances to take a swing at you…so you’d better have REALLY fucking tight skills and be able to defend perfectly and that 1 punch better be rock solid on the perfect opening because you’ve got 10 more chances for him to hit you coming up if that punch misses or is too weak etc. If you’re defending 10 punches for each of your punches and your punches are weak/sloppy, you’re probably going to get hit sooner or later.

            VS if the guy takes a swing at you and you defend it then just barrage him with kamikaze shit that he wasn’t expecting or prepared for. You can be a little sloppier because you’re likely to land something before he even realizes the fight just got real. And if on top of going kamikaze you’re also a trained boxer so your punches are tight and finding openings etc, you’re pretty likely to win.

            So you can be lower energy, but if you are, then every word you say, all your body language, your tone of voice, your frame, etc better all be rock-fucking-solid. It can be done, but it’s harder…in certain environments like a social circle outing it’s fine, or in a situ where you have friends with you to back you up and “fight” for you (engaging in the yappy back and forth stuff) it’s fine, but if you’re solo at a bar/club where the girls have ADD and you’ve got some tool with a group of bros with him, you’re now taking 30 or 40 punches for each of yours that you’re throwing, so your shit has to be super tight…like those bros aren’t going to fuck with some boss Mafia don giving off “my men will kill you” vibes sitting in a corner booth with their girls…but the “hey, how’s your night going? Thats cool my name is Jimmy” guy who’s still learning game is probably going to be an easy target for them.

            With a bro group, it’s trickier. Your original question sounded like one guy coming up to fuck around, that’s a super easy situ to handle. Generally with a group you want to not battle the guy directly, you want to do it by tooling him to his friends in a cool fun way.

            The waitress who makes the most money is the one who, when she’s got a big table of dudes, can insult one of them in front of his buddies in a fun calibrated way. So a guy in the group who’s been talking up how he’s gonna totally bang the hot waitress orders and says “we’ll have 5 shots of (some weak shit)” and she quickly replies “oh is this for that table of ladies over there? Or are you just going to pour them into your purse?” The bro getting tooled’s jaw drops because he wasn’t expecting to get served, but he can’t get mad because his 4 bros are laughing their ass off at how the waitress just owned him and because they love it, he has to cave to the social pressure and laugh along with them. He can’t react angry and yell at her because his buddies like her and he’d be going against the group…his buddies would defend her and tell him to lighten up. So he’ll end up changing his order to tequila shots or whatever and in the end that guy will tip her to not look butthurt, and his buddies will tip her extra because she made them laugh and owned their buddy so unexpectedly hard.

            But looking at that dynamic, what’s going on? She’s frame controlling the situation into implying the guy is a vagina, she’s playing to his group, she’s making him stutter because she came over the top and hit him with something he didn’t expect, and applied social pressure from his group on him. By changing his shots to tequila he relieves that social pressure she put on him.

            Now to tool a bro in front of his bros, you have to be pretty fucking sharp and good at group theory. Being able to read body language and vibes to tell what the pecking order is and which guys are likely to be receptive to you tooling their buddy etc. and it helps to be higher energy because you can drop a combination of stuff and juggle the group easier…Russel Brand would have a LOT easier time winning over a group than James Bond because his energy and frame takes over theirs.

            If you want to be a low energy James Bond jumbotron one-word reply guy, but you ALSO want to take on groups of bros trying to tool you, that’s like saying you want to beat Mike Tyson in a boxing match but you only want to swing 3 punches. It’s theoretically POSSIBLE for you to win, but the % odds are really low.

            If you want to stay low energy and aren’t willing to step it up when you’re in that situation to handle it and increase your % odds, then either expect to have your girls taken or just walk away and find new girls. Just cause you CAN box like Mike Tyson if your friends or family are threatened, doesn’t mean you have to go around swinging fists at everything 24/7…just cause you CAN step up your energy to handle a group of bros, doesn’t mean you have to always be a high energy dancing monkey. Know what I mean?


        • marc
          on October 15, 2013 at 10:27 am
          Original Link

          “I’m a loser with no friends, but these girls have taken me under their wing. Which one of them is your girlfriend?”
          “Huh? Uhh well neither, they’re just my frien–”

          I don’t get AMOGed a lot but I really don’t see him replying that.

          He’s just going to say “OK buddy now get the fuck off or I’ll punch you in the face.” How do you handle confrontational AMOGs?


          • YaReally
            on October 15, 2013 at 2:49 pm
            Original Link

            “I don’t get AMOGed a lot but I really don’t see him replying that.”

            Before I had experience negging girls I really didn’t see them responding by being attracted.

            “He’s just going to say “OK buddy now get the fuck off or I’ll punch you in the face.””

            How many times has this response actually happened to you? Zero? The only people who respond to basically a friendly “your friends are nice, which one of them are you dating?” with “IM GOING TO PUNCH YOUR FUCKING FACE IN IF YOU DONT FUCK OFF AGGGHHHHGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!” are literally mentally unstable psychopaths. Mentally unstable psychopaths tend not to get in the bar because the bouncer says “ID, please.” and they respond with “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU AGGHGHHH!!!”

            “How do you handle confrontational AMOGs”

            Pace and lead them down out of their angry state, the way cops etc learn to do (cops don’t just jump out guns blazing, they try to de-escalate the situation peacefully first)…but it’s easier/faster/safer to just away. There are other girls. No one is going to high-five you for spending 6 months in the hospital learning to walk again after you get stomped by a group of angry dudes over some random bar chick when you could’ve simply avoided the situ.


    • Tilikum
      on October 15, 2013 at 7:21 am
      Original Link

      honestly your tactical excellence is what really got me over the top to have the mental processing time while interacting to look at why the tactical stuff was working while it was working if that makes sense. i feel like i’ve moved past you in philosophy a bit (mostly based on personality and what i perceive is a different goal), but only because you lit the way.

      a big thank you my brother.


      • YaReally
        on October 15, 2013 at 2:54 pm
        Original Link

        All good, I fully admit my goals/values are a lot different than a lot of people.

        People think its impossible to be managing this stuff on the fly, but when you go out a lot and you’ve studied proper and you’ve gamed a bunch of girls, and you stay sober or buzzing instead of getting hammered, it’s really not that hard. Your brain adapts and a lot of stuff you had to consciously analyze at the start becomes unconscious instinct with practice. Michael Jordan is lining himself up and obeying the same laws of physics as anyone else shooting a basketball, but he doesn’t have to consciously think about it to the extent the guy in high school does, because his brain has adapted and processes everything related to that a lot faster…he might have to consciously think out how to swing a golf club step by step, but Tiger Woods doesn’t.

        “Field experience is king” as we say in the PUA community.


    • Jay in DC
      on October 15, 2013 at 9:17 am
      Original Link

      Rock solid, although the burn I’d be a little leery about because when you start talking about someone’s mom taking multidick… eh. I’ve seen people immediately throw down over shit like that so I’d nix that one, but the rest were really good.


      • Anonymous
        on October 15, 2013 at 12:07 pm
        Original Link

        Yeah, get off mothers… I got off yours about an hour ago.


        • YaReally
          on October 15, 2013 at 2:57 pm
          Original Link

          lol’ed.

          Don’t use confrontational shit unless you can smooth over when it goes wrong. I’m just giving a variety of ways to handle it to demonstrate that the test itself is irrelevant…as long as you don’t fall into their frame of “ya, not having friends with me IS weird”, you can spring off it to DHV yourself, or to tool them, or to relate to the girls etc. there’s no one proper response, it’s more a mental shift and following a general formula of reframing what’s happening.



Anchoring

Original Link

via Heartiste

PB
on October 14, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Original Link

Hey YaReally, when you are rolling solo how would you approach an AMOG that keeps asking you in front of your targets (who he might be friends with, it depends on the situation) where your friends are, to make you look like a loser with no friends? A&a?


  • YaReally
    on October 14, 2013 at 10:17 pm
    Original Link

    A&A: “I’m a loser and I have no friends. That’s why these girls hate me. Especially this one. But I think she hates EVERYONE. Why are you so mean to strangers, Jessica? You monster.”

    Burn: “They’re all busy fucking your mom. She likes more than one dick at a time. You probably didn’t know because she thinks your dick is too small to invite you.”

    DHV: “They cancelled at the last minute and I was already showered up so I figured I’d just come out on my own and make some new friends tonight.”

    Social pressure: “They had to bail early tonight. Your friends here seem cool, which one of them is your girlfriend? Oh? Neither of them? What, you don’t want to fuck them? Are you blind, man?? They’re gorgeous. You’re not gay are you? I’m not into sucking cock. Except that one time on New Years Eve. That’s not gay, is it girls?”

    Assume attraction & befriend: “Right here. These girls have taken pity on my lonely soul and are adopting me like a poor unloved orphan. You’re welcome to join us. Oh, you girls know him? Cool man, what’s your name? (put hand out for handshake)”

    YaReally style: “I’m out alone. I don’t like to bring witnesses when I’m raping and murdering slutty girls I meet at the bar. A guy can only bury so many bodies in one night, know what I mean?”

    …I don’t recommend the last one.

    It only makes you look like a loser if you think it makes you look like a loser. Strongest frame always wins. Always.

    If someone else’s frame is stronger, apply social pressure to weaken it until yours wins. Then relieve the social pressure and reward them for caving to your frame by extending an olive branch to befriend him. He’ll reciprocate out of relief and gratitude for relieving the social pressure you applied.


    • YaReally
      on October 14, 2013 at 10:56 pm
      Original Link

      The key is to reframe whatever he says, and then lead the conversation.

      “I’m a loser with no friends.”
      “Lol ya buddy, you (bla bla bla)”

      This example is gay. You’re letting him lead and you might zing him but you’re just prolonging the “battle” not leading it to a conclusion. Think of it like only blocking in a fight…ya you’re not getting knocked out, but you’re not ending the fight either and you’re needlessly risking him slipping a lucky punch in.

      “I’m a loser with no friends, but these girls have taken me under their wing. Which one of them is your girlfriend?”
      “Huh? Uhh well neither, they’re just my frien–”
      “Really? You can’t tell me you aren’t secretly in love with one of them.”
      “What? I–” (girls going “omg”)
      “Probably not THIS one tho. (Heavy eye contact with the one you have the best vibe with) I don’t think any guy could STAND her. (Slight grin so she knows you’re fucking around)
      (Girl): “hey!! I–”
      “No don’t try to justify it. When I said hi you looked at me like you hated me. Is it because you’re so in love with me that you have to mask your love by pretending to hate me? It’s alright, open your heart and let it out. I love you too.”
      (AMOG): (invisible and silent trying to comprehend what just happened)
      “Come. Lets go get a drink. (Throw her over your shoulder and carry her off)”

      In this example there’s pretty much nothing the guy can do because you put him on the defensive, apply some social pressure, cold read him in a way that makes him stutter, tease the girl, spike her temp and cut him out, then physically isolate her while her emotions are spiking.

      All the guy can really do is stand there in the dust.

      This is why it’s a lot easier to AMOG the James Bond wannabes with their aloof one-word coolness. Chicks don’t give a shit what you say, they care about what you make them feel. You can AMOG with less verbosity but its not as engaging for the girl and the less words you use the higher the initial attraction you need to start with is.

      ie – if she sees you as low value (ie – first approaching), James Bond style AMOG’ing won’t raise your value much. If you’re high value, James Bond is fine because you already have enough attraction. But if you’re low value, verbose AMOG’ing will build/demonstrate your value and make you high-value. And if you’re high value and verbose AMOG, your value goes thru the roof.

      If your personality is naturally very James Bondish silent and mysterious, you’d better have SUPER fucking tight efficient game and fully understand the fundamentals solid, cause if a guy like me comes up, while you’re standing there turning your nose up at my “antics” waiting to get your one-word alpha zing in there, your girls are laughing their asses off as their temps spike and I’m working on isolating them from you before you get that jumbotron word in.


    • YaReally
      on October 15, 2013 at 2:49 pm
      Original Link

      “I don’t get AMOGed a lot but I really don’t see him replying that.”

      Before I had experience negging girls I really didn’t see them responding by being attracted.

      “He’s just going to say “OK buddy now get the fuck off or I’ll punch you in the face.””

      How many times has this response actually happened to you? Zero? The only people who respond to basically a friendly “your friends are nice, which one of them are you dating?” with “IM GOING TO PUNCH YOUR FUCKING FACE IN IF YOU DONT FUCK OFF AGGGHHHHGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!” are literally mentally unstable psychopaths. Mentally unstable psychopaths tend not to get in the bar because the bouncer says “ID, please.” and they respond with “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU AGGHGHHH!!!”

      “How do you handle confrontational AMOGs”

      Pace and lead them down out of their angry state, the way cops etc learn to do (cops don’t just jump out guns blazing, they try to de-escalate the situation peacefully first)…but it’s easier/faster/safer to just away. There are other girls. No one is going to high-five you for spending 6 months in the hospital learning to walk again after you get stomped by a group of angry dudes over some random bar chick when you could’ve simply avoided the situ.


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