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YaReally Archive


This House Is Clean (And Sex-Free)

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Kate
on January 31, 2013 at 10:16 am
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One of the roots of this choreplay concept is that a clean house actually puts a woman in the bow-chick-a-bow-wow mood. Its true. When all your chores are done, you start to think, well, now what can I do? With no responsibilities, one is able to relax and enjoy…messing things up again!


  • taterearl
    on January 31, 2013 at 10:21 am
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    It puts you in a comfortable mood.

    Comfort does not equal arousal.


    • YaReally
      on January 31, 2013 at 9:06 pm
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      “Comfort does not equal arousal.”

      This. And it applies to happiness, joy, laughter, etc. It’s why guys run dancing monkey game and think they’re doing good because a girl is laughing and smiling and shit, but then they’re surprised when she doesn’t want to fuck them.

      Don’t build a situation where attraction can organically happen, just build attraction DIRECTLY.

      A girl will be late for work, cheat on her husband, forget about messy dishes, stay with a man who beats her, ditch her friends to go home with a complete stranger, and basically shit all over her responsibilities and logical common sense while hamster-rationalizing it all away, if she’s sufficiently turned on.

      She can HATE you, or be stressed and angry in general, and still be attracted enough to fuck.

      Kate is picturing a gay beta monogamous live-in boyfriend, not her dream alpha.



Choreplay

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via Rational Male

YaReally
on January 30th, 2013 at 11:42 pm
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Great analysis.

Part of why I don’t have an interest in getting married is that girls don’t really bring anything to the table anymore. Not many of them know how to cook any better than I do because they were microwaving TV dinners and eating fast-food like me. Not many of them know how to sew because they have enough disposable income to just buy new stuff instead of fix old stuff or make their own shit. Not many of them are any better at cleaning than I am because they can afford a cleaner or they’ve been brought up to think that a guy will want them regardless of how messy and shitty they are. Not many of them come with no financial baggage because they ran up a bunch of debt playing into consumerism without learning financial responsibility and they know their parents or a future husband will bail them out of their mistakes.

So what exactly is the appeal? Getting married is basically like legally tying yourself to a big lazy expensive baby lol

I don’t want to mow the lawn or clean the gutters, but if there’s a delicious home cooked meal in a sparkling clean house waiting for me when I’m done, I’m in.


Choreplay

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via Rational Male

YaReally
on January 31st, 2013 at 8:47 pm
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Love vocal fry. Would bang that singing chick with the force of 10,000 suns.


Predicting How Married And Single People (Think They) Live And Love

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popups
on January 30, 2013 at 1:46 pm
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What are some ways a woman can show that she is kind on a first date?
Saying “thank you” to bartenders/waitresses?

or should she give anecdotal evidence?


  • Matthew Walker
    on January 30, 2013 at 2:03 pm
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    Kindness in a woman is hard to miss. I don’t know if it’s hard to fake. I doubt that’s been tried.


    • Canadian Friend
      on January 30, 2013 at 4:29 pm
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      Most women are kind at the beginning of a relationship

      it is in part politeness and in part intentional deception

      the only way to know if she is really kind in everyday life is to get involved in a relationship for at least a few weeks or months

      Usually after two months ( in my experience ) if she is a bad tempered ingrate nagging manipulative bitch ( as most good looking women are in my experience ) , she will not be able to hide it anymore

      Me? I am the same after 2 months or after 2 years as I was on the first date, just kind/nice enough where it counts, and just enough of a bad boy in bed. A mix of alpha and beta…

      but very few woman are the same once they get comfortable and think you are in love with them
      ( or as is often the case, once you are addicted to her good looks and the good sex…)

      yes once she has you addicted to her, the sweetness of the early days is quickly replaced with ugly bitchiness that can drive you so insane you will want to pull out your hair!!!


      • YaReally
        on January 30, 2013 at 10:52 pm
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        Alllllll of this stuff you just said.

        There are a handful of girls I’d've settled with if they had stayed the same at 6 months in as they were at 1 month in lol

        Soon as they know they have you locked in, the facade comes down…so don’t get locked in. Have other options and learn how to Soft/Hard Next properly.



The Karamazov Idea
on January 30, 2013 at 2:12 pm
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See, I’ve recently been evangelizing my friends who have been striking out with not just attempted hookups but long-term girlfriends. Women cannot be trusted to give accurate and accountable answers about what they desire: at least not verbally.

Worse yet, asking your friend who’s a guy that has been picking up girls since he was 12 is hardly helpful either. He’s an alpha. Listening to him explain women is like listening to Billy Conn try to explain boxing. “Well, what you do is you move and you kind of put this here and wait for that guy to go there, and then you kind of do this.” They’re perfectly built machines. They didn’t come with instruction manuals, and even if they did, they wouldn’t read them. They’re natural-born alphas.

The only people who have a realistic idea of what women really want and do are the ones who actually bothered to observe and experiment. Literally the only people who can tell you with honesty and specificity what a women wants, paradoxically, are the men familiar with Game. It’s the inbetweens and the betas and the handful of self-aware alphas that bothered to pay attention to behavior and come up with the models.


  • YaReally
    on January 30, 2013 at 11:14 pm
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    Yep. We gain conscious competence while most Naturals have unconscious competence. There are downsides to it (over-thinking during an interaction, paralysis by analysis etc) but in terms of explaining Game it’s useful to have it.

    I sometimes get Natural buddies who don’t know I’m a PUA to explain their Game to me, just to see what’s going on in their heads, and it’s funny to me because they’ll summarize PUA Game but filtered through their own personal experience so sometimes they’ll have these seemingly totally random really strong beliefs like “dude if she has blue eyes, she’ll suck your dick in the bathroom, trust me every time I meet a girl with blue eyes she ends up sucking my dick in the bathroom” and they’re 100% intense and sincere about it like they’re sharing the secret of life with you lol

    And on the flip side, they’ll be completely oblivious to Game concepts that they haven’t directly had experience with. So they’ll get laid like crazy but never get repeat business or girls will hate them because they have no concept of managing Buyer’s Remorse or disabling ASD so the girl feels good about the experience. Or they’ll approach 20 women in a night without realizing that if they changed their approach slightly they would be able to just approach 3 or 4 women and get the same results. Or they’ll have girls totally into them but still amazingly hold onto the social conditioning belief that they have to go on a dinner/movie date before banging. They just haven’t run into negative enough consequences for these things so they haven’t had to figure them out or correct them.

    PUA is a combination of tens of thousands of men’s experiences in all categories, so while my best Natural buddy gets laid more than I do, I have a much wider understanding of what’s going on and can break down exactly what’s going on in our interactions with chicks.

    Also because I have a wider understanding of social dynamics in general, I’m able to take girls off a lot of average Naturals because their skill-set is usually based around social proof and zero’ing in on a girl, whereas I know how to work the group or how to isolate and how fast I can get away with escalating and how to diffuse and turn around AMOG’ing etc.

    Basically even though learning it was a bitch and being too aware can have its drawbacks, overall my skillset is more efficient and versatile that most of my Natural buddies. :)



Johnycomelately
on January 30, 2013 at 6:08 pm
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“What do married people miss the most about single life?”
Married women: Excitement.

I wonder how these hausfraus get their excitement fixes? It’s good to know that a man who has committed his whole being to another person is thought of as boring door stop.


  • YaReally
    on January 30, 2013 at 11:20 pm
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    “I wonder how these hausfraus get their excitement fixes?”

    Fucking guys like me on the side. Welcome to “monogamy” in 2013 lol



Predicting How Married And Single People (Think They) Live And Love

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Scray
on January 31, 2013 at 6:27 am
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Phew…..crazy days. Oh yeah, a few notes before I start: all the names I use are fake, but thanks for looking out Yareally.

FR:

Last thurs:

Me and Mark are going to go out, when one of Mark’s friends hits him up. His friend Roger wants to come hang with us and talk to girls or whatever. So fine, after a sojourn at Roger’s house, we all head to the club. Mark has talked Ronnie up to me for awhile — ‘he’s slept with like 200 girls’ type of stuff. I was excited to meet him. Maybe I could learn something.

Turns out, Roger’s a really good looking guy. Whatever, he could still have mucho insight into the bodacious art scoring with chicks. We all get to the club and get inside. Roger elects to sit at some tables for a bit, and he says he’s gonna ‘show us the ropes.’ 30 minutes go by with him talking about life, and I’m starting to notice that none of this shit makes sense to me. It’s all woo-woo ‘just be yourself’ shit. Mark is enthralled, though. At the end of the half hour (I was checking), he lets slip that he ‘lets the girls come to him.’ At that point, I’m like ‘well I can’t learn anything from this guy.’ He starts talking more than a little shit about the whole cold approach attitude. I have my quota of sets to open, and I’m done talking to a dude who is going to just sit and stare at chicks all night.

I go and open a set — a 6, a 5.5, a 7, and a 7.5 at a table. By now, I can say the opener in my sleep, and I do the whole 45 degree angle, over the head style. I’ve also just started naturally talking really fucking loud. So, I address the 7.5. with the drug dealer opener.

Her: Hmmm, (a quirked grin) I don’t know, what do you guys think…

(her friends erect a wall of apathetic bitch pikes against my cavalry charge)

Me: (pointing to 5.5) Hey, are you a hairdresser?

5.5: (flat) No. None of us are hairdressers.

Me: (grinning huge) You’re a fucking firecracker.

6: You should go away.

Me: (feigning intense sadness, tilting head) Why?

(7 snickers, 7.5 is remaining silent…)

7: Well you know, we’re just all sitting here having some girl talk.

Me: Wow! I fucking love girl talk. Let’s dish: this one time, I tried to see how many times I could flick my ex-girlfriend’s tits before her nipples got hard. Turns out it’s 8….8 times.

(5.5 and 6 just look away, the 7 kinda keeps it apathetic, the 7.5 does the sloooow nod thing)

Me: (suddenly to the 7.5) What? Do you think I’m about to flick your nipples?

(She………..laughs!!!!!! YES!!!)

Me: Cause I’m fucking NOT. I just met you. And her (indicating the 7). That’s pretty forward to just fucking assume I’m gonna go on some kind of nipple busting rampage on some bitches I just met. For fuck’s sake.

(5.5 and 6 are kinda forced to be into it a little because the 7.5 and 7 are chuckling now)

5.5: Yeah well you’re being kind of creepy about everything.

Me: Whoa…calm down crazy.

I ripped this line from that one movie Silver Linings….it just kinda flew out of my mouth…worked pretty well. 5.5 was annoyed, but I feel the momentum starting to shift. Unfortunately, at around this time, 4 guys show up synchronously…like they had just rappelled down some sort of cockblocking black helicopter…and immediately escorted all of them to the dancefloor. I’m like, ‘ahhh fuck’ and just start to move on, when 7 turns.

‘Hey who are you?’

‘Oh…..Scray…’

‘Hey Scray, nice to meet you, I’m Renee….see you around.’

And then they were gone. Lame as it is, I was pretty psyched about this meaningless bit of politeness. Should I have asked for a number? Persisted? I don’t really know. It happened too fast, and it probably would have been a cold number anyway. However, I glance back to Mark and Roger — two girls are there — a 6 and a 6.5, pretty good. But, because Mark was my ride…I now had to leave because they were going to go home with these girls (I’m not paying for a cab…maybe I kind of bitched out :D ).

So night over for me :\

Friday:

I talk with this one mexican guy, Ted who seems to do well with girls. He seems like he’s a natural.

So anyway, Ted’s like ‘we haven’t hung out in awhile…let’s go to talk to some sloots.’ I’m down for it, why not? Ted shows up, and he’s like ‘guess where we’re going?’ And I’m like, ‘idfk.’ Ted grins ‘we’re going to Country Western Bar.’ Me, ‘wtf.’

During the LONG car ride to Country Western Bar…Ted reveals that he’s really into PUA and into the concept of frame control, etc. So, his big revelation to me?

Ted: You’re half-black, right? Really, all this is about is not being a puta — a bitch.

Me: Yeah, sure….okay.

Ted: Nah, a lot of guys fold under social pressure. Guys like us have it easy, we have an easy training ground.

Me: What?

Ted: We’re half-minorities…really whole minorities, what’s the difference.

Me: Okay….

Ted: We gotta get lots of people to call you a nigger tonight.

Me: ……………………………………………………………I don’t want to die, or anything.

Ted: Don’t be a bitch.

So……yeaaaaah. Really strange night. I mean, his whole idea is like ‘if you can successfully control yourself and — somehow — turn around a situation where people just fucking hate you on principle….what can stop you?’ Anyway…it was a really weird night. As you can imagine….my AA was in serious overdrive. Ted forced me into a set two girls, three guys, and it was fucking ridiculous. Liiiiike, there was this raunchy auburn haired cowgirl who probably called me a nigger like a bajillion times, and I mean….I just didn’t know how to handle it. She also asked insane questions, like ‘how big is your cock?’ ‘would you like me to suck that nigger dick?’ She was a 5…but the set was mixed, so I had literally NO CLUE how to fucking handle it. I was a Scraymouse.

Ted is some sort of insane person. Like…one of the dudes at one point was like ‘this goddamned anchor baby beaner,’ and Ted throws his head back, ‘yeah, all right, gomer pyle, bob hope eat a dick whoever the fuck you are…’ and everyone laughed their asses off.

My question now….I mean, that was an extremely uncomfortable environment for me. But at the same time…like, Ted just handled it like a goddamned champion. Is there something to his theory, or is Ted insane…or both?

Saturday:

I lost my ID at CW bar. I was planning on not going out, but there was an event at a club that 90% of the school social circle were attending. So…why not? I snag a paper copy of my driver’s license from my job and just decide to run a gambit.

It works, and I get in to the club with everyone else.

Only one set, and really, it’s a girl I somewhat know already. She’s been with two of the guys in my social circle already. She’s like a 6.5. I talk with her at the bar. So, my new thing that I’ve been trying out has been break-up/make-up. It goes really well with ‘I love you.’

Earlier, I had told her friend that I was going to spread a rumor that she was engaged to an Argentenian wiffle ball player named Rodrigo. So, I tell 6.5 to make sure she goes back to her friend and asks about Rodrigo. Then I just am like, also, tell your friend that I’m in crazy mad crazy love with her. And 6.5 laughs, and I’m like ‘THIS IS SERIOUS, SHE’S MY SOULMATE!’ Her eyes widen, and she nods.

So we get to talking, blah blah blah blah…and she mentioned that she liked a band that I liked. Naturally, I just move away like ‘im falling in love with you now, goddammit.’ She laughs. Then she’s like ‘yeah, they’re almost as good as Nickelback.’ Then I turn to her and am like ‘what the fuck is wrong with you? We’re broken up. FOREVER. DON’T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME. DON’T EVEN LOOK MY WAY!’ She covers her mouth, she’s laughing, and I look away. After a few seconds, I’m like ‘remember that time we broke up. listen, I didn’t mean all of that. You just make me really mad sometimes.’

And she’s like ‘oh, okay…well so are we back together?’

‘Yeah. For now.’ I’m still staring straight ahead.

After a few more minutes, she made me pinky swear to be in her group for some sort of thing we’re doing in a class we have together because she didn’t know anyone in that class. (I pinky sweared but I didn’t do it, she was annoyed :D ).

I also asked her at some point what friendship meant to her (shout out to whoever left that link to ‘good questions’). I was surprised at the in-depth answer I got out of her.

And then, three dudes from the way outer ambit of the social circle came and choded up the joint. We all were talking in a circle for a bit, and then there was the idea to dance. Three guys, one girl. She’s like ‘yeah, we can go to the dancefloor!’ She lead the way. In my mind I’m like ‘fuck this, I’m not running a race with these two chodes.’

So I bounce, get one of my friends, talk to some uggos for a few minutes while we get our bearings, then just leave.

Weds:

Still don’t have my new ID, but I’m just going to places that are lenient about carding. Today me and Mark go to a small club/bar. So, at this point, I’m deciding that my drug dealer opener is less me. I resolve to go direct, just enough to say ‘hey I came to talk because you seemed cool…’ then maybe after a minute or two, use the drug dealer thing to fuel conversation. I resolve to be more direct. State intentions.

I completely chode out. First set, girl at the bar. I look at her…she’s a 7.5. Sweet. I’m in perfect body language position, facing somewhat away, and I look over and say….
….

….
‘Hey did you get the bartender’s attention yet?’
‘No.’
/chodeoverandout

I just turn away lol. I blink a few times, like ‘wtf’ to myself.
Mark comes and stands next to me at the bar.

Another girl comes to my left, like a 6, to order a drink. I look over at her once. I try to form the words. NOTHING. I look over at Mark.

‘you’re a fucking idiot. just do it. what the fuck?’
I nod.

Then I just look over, and loudly say ‘SO WHAT DRINK YOU ORDERING? I’M DRINKING A BUD LIGHT. YEAH.’

She slowly turns her head, ‘yeah?’

I shrug, totally confused about wtf is happening to me. It’s like I’m falling back, which is bullshit, because I haven’t even gotten that far lol.

So, it turns out, through some disparate social circle connections, and a set that formed around Mark and I, that the 6 was in that group. Mark starts chatting them up…there’s two guys and two girls…the 6 and a 7.

I nurse my single beer…I feel like Maverick just drifting away from the dogfight in TopGun. I just can’t get my head into the game. Then, I just decide to go in there with fundamentals or something.

So, I walk into set — completely forgetting all Wing rules, much to Mark’s chagrin. I start talking to the 6 (probably should have distracted the obstacles, but fuck it, I need to get INTO the game). I look at 6′s beanie

‘I REALLY LIKE THAT BEANIE.’ said with just that kind of inflection.
She nods with grin ‘yeah, i like beanies so i don’t have to do my hair.’
‘NO. I’m the opposite, I like putting the beanie back so I still have to do something with my hair.’
‘ohhhh….well, my hair’s just kind of dirty cause I haven’t washed it today so I just had to use the beanie.’
‘that’s fucking disgusting. You’re gross.’
‘…yeaaaah…’
‘and with that bag you’re carrying and beanie you kind of look like you’re going to bomb the WTC’
she just continues to nod with an oooooooooooooookaaay grin.
I ask what’s in the bag, and she says something about a project.

‘A PROJECT FOR WHO…THE PRESIDENT?’
(yeah, I actually said this shit lol)
She shakes her head and says ‘no, like wax….you want to see some pictures?’
‘totally.’
She shows me the pictures, and this other guy is way into it. But me..I just say how I feel:
‘I don’t get any of that shit, but there’s a lot of colors…NICE.’

then the 7 interrupts, and then one of the guys invites us to go with them to a bar/club. However, it’s a bar/club with a strict ID. Goddammit. Set over.

So, I start walking away from that trainwreck of a set, and then I see my second legit 9 in field. I walk by and stop…45 degree angle, body language, blah blah blah.

Me: Hey, have they had a DJ here the whole night, or was there a band earlier?

Her: Oh, no it’s been a DJ all night…yeah I –

Me: Nah, fuck that. I just came over to talk to you because you seem sexy and I want to know if you’re cool, too.
(heartbeat warpspeed)

Now, here’s the little victory moment…and why I trust Yareally now. She leans back for a second, and her eyes widen, and she gets this quirky little smile.

Her: ‘Oh…’

Then, she looks both ways and dips her head a little

Her: I don’t know if that’s a good idea.

Me: Why, they don’t you let you talk to strangers in here?

She laughs. Cool man. And then…out of nowhere…this black dude gets straight up in my face, repeating ‘hey dude, don’t talk to her dogg, no disrespect, but don’t talk to her dogg, nah dogg, don’t talk to her, no disrespect’ repeated like a chode mantra over and over again.

I try to fly under the radar like ‘okay, okay…who are you, maybe we can all be friends?’ Maybe not so much under the radar because I’m pretty sure I kind of smirked when I said it….:D I actually don’t even think that was her bf…it was just some sort of devotee of the bf.

‘Nah we don’t need to be friends motherfucker, get the fuck on.’

Now, the 9 has watched the whole time…and her expression is serious, and I catch eyes with her. Then, I just kind of do a lackadaisical shrug…she grins. Then I do something, kind of stupid……
…I walk past her on my way out…
‘I tried to rescue you!’
“Motherfucker!” sayeth the black dude, starting after me along with two other dudes I didn’t notice before — like…seriously starting after me. I fucking bolt — Mark is on his way to wing me and I’m like ‘getthefuckoutnow!’

I’m pretty sure the bouncer at the door stopped him and let us run.

So yeah.

Thoughts:

Yeah man, all of that above looks lame as shit, but I dunno…for some reason I feel fine about it. I mean, the experiences alone are worth it. I definitely just do the ‘i love you’ ‘break up/make up’ stuff in everyday interaction more. I talk to a lot more people, actually. I also feel great, probably because of working out.

I can’t believe how difficult it was for me to direct open. That’s the kind of confidence I think I need to build. Now, it’s totally possible that I mistook the 9′s expressions and whatnot as her just being entertained rather than being intrigued — maybe!

I really think it all goes back to my sticking point of maybe not being sexual enough. No one wants to be a ‘creep’ I guess. But, I guess I’m definitely going to have to risk it to get better. These upcoming nights, I’m going direct. Hooo boy…..and then there’s Ted’s weird suggestion for building a strong, grounded frame.


  • YaReally
    on January 31, 2013 at 3:03 pm
    Original Link

    lol got a bunch to say about your shit but I’m on my way out the door so check tomorrow.

    For now 1) welcome to having stories to tell lol and 2) watch the Tyler video I linked down below in this comment section, he talks about how he’ll start the night by approaching without trying, just saying whatever’s on his mind and retarded shit (like your “for the president?” shit), because that gets him into a social/fun expressive state where later in the night when he meets girls he’s into he’ll be feeling good AND be applying actual game.

    Julien talks about building momentum too in his latest vid, his speech is a little more energetic/funny than Tyler’s:

    You’re heading in a good direction bringing up sexual topics and getting out of the asexual role girls will put you in, and you’re learning which girl to bust on and when, to keep a group going, and building solid frame control to plow through awkward moments to get to the sweet rewards on the other side. Good stuff, remember this is a slow process, like losing 1 or 2lbs a week working out. :)

    Check tomorrow for a breakdown!


  • YaReally
    on February 4, 2013 at 2:12 pm
    Original Link

    Breakdown time:

    “Roger elects to sit at some tables for a bit, and he says he’s gonna ‘show us the ropes.’”

    lol of course he does. You’ll find Naturals do this a lot…it’s part of their internal cycle of beliefs that they’re awesome. “I’ll teach these guys how life really works, because I’m the best at it”. That delusional confidence helps them with girls.

    And they’re super charismatic and have really strong frames about it, so you’ll find guys with weaker frames end up like:

    “Mark is enthralled”

    The same way a girl will listen to me talk about whatever stupid shit I think is fascinating and she’ll think it’s fascinating too. She’s just falling into my frame.

    The reality of what’s going on, if you step back and look at it, is that he’s actually chickenshit and stalling for time. :) Because he can’t cold-approach. :) This is just a really elaborate ruse to stall for time without looking like he’s a pussy lol Very few Naturals will just cold-approach as soon as they walk into a venue…they like to go get a drink, do a lap, stand or sit around and shoot the shit with their bros, etc. What they’re doing is stalling for time and hoping that 1) girls will notice them dominating their group in general (everyone listening to the amazing story they’re telling about their awesome life while guys like Mark sit there staring at him with the DDB look on his face lol), and 2) looking around the room or watching girls passing by, and trying to land some eye-contact because they can’t do a PURE cold-approach, they need some eye-contact or some kind of signal that the girl is into them before they can approach her. So all they need is to be telling a story for 20 min, and a girl who sees he’s got the attention of his group passes by and looks at him, they lock eyes for a sec and she keeps going, and now in his mind he registers her as “okay, talk to that girl later”.

    They’re doing this all subconsciously though…to them it’s just what works, and the “Way” to party is to go out and “hang with your bros” for a bit, then “hunt pussy” (ie – go find all the girls that are now semi-warm approaches and approach the easiest ones). Then to everyone else they look like badasses cold-approaching and getting attraction quickly, but they don’t realize that whole first half hour of dicking around was them lining up the pieces to knock over.

    The incredible skills Naturals have are really just an illusion. When you thoroughly understand game, it’s like a pro magician being able to see “okay, that’s the point where he didn’t actually put the quarter in his other hand” in a trick.

    They’ll have really elaborate ways of covering this up, especially around guys who they don’t realize understand cold-approaching and can cold-approach, so you get shit like this:

    “he lets slip that he ‘lets the girls come to him.’”
    “He starts talking more than a little shit about the whole cold approach attitude.”

    A guy who understands legit cold-approaching, however, listening to this shit, feels like this:

    “I’m starting to notice that none of this shit makes sense”
    “I’m like ‘well I can’t learn anything from this guy.’”

    And the best attitude, and why I keep helping you, is because you write shit like this:

    “I’m done talking to a dude who is going to just sit and stare at chicks all night.”

    That’s the attitude of a guy who will succeed down the road. “This is nonsense. I have real work to do, I set some goals and I want to achieve them. Good luck with whatever you’re doing, I’ll catch up with you later when I’ve accomplished what I intend to accomplish tonight.”

    I used to have to ditch my group while they sit around all night to get my cold-approaching in. And they’d talk smack to me, too. “Wow dude what’d you say to that girl? You totally creeped her out!!” Meanwhile 1) it really didn’t go as bad as they think it did, but 2) they’re on their 2nd jug of beer just sitting at the table still, and will go home without talking to a girl except at 2am when they’re shitfaced and trying to take an easy fatty home lol

    Anyway, this is all why I ignore everything a guy says before the bar, if I’ve just met him. I meet a lot of alpha macho dudes through certain social circles (like my MMA circles) and they allllll talk a big game before the bar. Talk smack to eachother. Give me condescending advice because I’m the short out-of-shape guy of the group that isn’t bragging so they think they can talk down to me lol And I just nod my head and go “ya man, totally, nice bro!” and play along.

    …till we get to the bar. And then I see which of them actually has the balls to back up the shit they were talking. Very few of them do, and that’s when I chuckle to myself and then start doing my thing. :)

    Jeffy’s signature quote back in the early PUA days was “what’s the difference between us? we can start at the penis; or we can scream “i just don’t give a fuck” and see who means it.”

    I actually fell into the mystique myself when I met my first legit Natural. I ended up falling into his frame and I would stand around with him and NOT cold-approach because he seemed to sure of his method and I knew he got laid and I wanted to learn his shit. It took a few months before I started shaking off the DDB and actually clinically analyze exactly what he was doing and I started noticing all the little cracks in the armor and the “secret” things he was doing to warm sets up and where his real limitations in game were, etc. and I learned to start breaking away from him to go approach because he was essentially holding me back…meanwhile he’d make out like a bandit because for him he was still just executing things they way he was used to, so I was the incongruent fish out of water between us because I was playing his game instead of mine.

    Real mind-fuck of a few months with that one. This is all again why we stress going out. This isn’t stuff you pick up in manuals or Manosphere blog posts, this is shit you have to experience first-hand (good and bad, like the disillusionment of your buddy’s “magical” Natural skills when you realize he’s a good guy but actually kind of just full of shit when it comes to game) to really understand and internalize.

    “By now, I can say the opener in my sleep, and I do the whole 45 degree angle, over the head style. I’ve also just started naturally talking really fucking loud”

    Good, good, don’t be afraid to be the center of attention…learn to thrive on it and enjoy it. We’re taught by society not to draw attention to ourselves and disrupt everyone’s lives…but someone who’s good will revel in creating chaos and having the whole room mind-fucked by what he’s doing. :)

    “(her friends erect a wall of apathetic bitch pikes against my cavalry charge)”

    lol’ed

    “Me: (pointing to 5.5) Hey, are you a hairdresser?”

    Good, if you’re not hitting, change tactics until you hit something they emotionally respond to. Interrupt their actual opener response even…like ask them your opener and then as they start to answer just cut them off and say the hairdresser thing, just to see what happens. You’ll find they follow your thread, and then you can go back to the opener later. Mystery talks about doing this a lot, setting up multiple threads that branch out, and then returning to close them up later.

    “5.5: (flat) No. None of us are hairdressers.”

    Oh shit, you got blown out, you should leave!!!!! Or you should call her a bitch, and show her who’s boss, fuck that bitch, yell at her and tell her she’s too fucking ugly to be a hairdresser anyway!!!

    “Me: (grinning huge) You’re a fucking firecracker.”

    …oh no wait. You could also do this, which is treat her attitude like she’s your silly 5yo niece pouting and calling you a poopy-head as you chuckle and grin and then completely unexpectedly compliment her.

    Whether this set turns around or not, this is 100% the appropriate way to handle this kind of thing. If you watch the last set that Cajun opens on his Keys to the VIP appearance (hit Youtube up), you’ll notice he turns around the bitchiest girl in the set because he says to the friends “I like your friend, you know why? Because she’s the only one who gave me shit.” and basically compliments her on having attitude etc. From there the bitch shield is obliterated and she becomes a sweet purring little kitten.

    This is the “Artist” part of Pickup Artist. I had one social circle of normal people I was out with who were mindblown because one minute a chick I was talking to was calling me an asshole and flipping me the middle finger, and the next I’m coming back to the group with her phone number lol

    “6: You should go away.”

    All good, they’re expecting your frame to be weak so they’re ganging up. The 5.5 is being a douche and is probably the leader of the group normally.

    “Me: (feigning intense sadness, tilting head) Why?”

    Also well-handled, though don’t give them a chance to answer. Just plow through, like “Ya, probably, so anyway–” or you can use your same idea of exaggerating how devestated you are and do something like “I know, that’s what all the girls keep telling me. I’ve been going to a therapist for years who told me to go out and say hello to people but everyone is so MEAN, god, I’m going to end up curled up in the fetal position crying myself to sleep tonight! :’( Girls (turning to the quiet/friendlier girls, to use them to turn the group against the bitchy one), why is your friend so mean to me! (whisper into their ear in a loud stage-whisper) Is she on the rag?? It’s cool, I understand. (all with a big grin)” :) And basically just keep expressing your personality.

    When you just ask “Why?” and wait for them to contribute, they’re going to try to shit on you…even if you just ask “Why?”, wait for a sec, and then just keep plowing with something else. Basically don’t let her lead the conversation because she will NEVER lead it in a beneficial way for you.

    Also notice this:

    “(7 snickers, 7.5 is remaining silent…)”

    huh…the 5.5 and 6 uggos are the loud abrasive bitchy “Fuck off” girls, and the 7 and 7.5 are quiet and watching how you handle yourself. It’s almost as if they’re watching to see what kind of man you are and how strong your frame is and whether you’re going to cave to their little troll friends who are able to scare off most men. :)

    “7: Well you know, we’re just all sitting here having some girl talk.”

    Here’s some politeness (in a good way) because she can tell you’re handling yourself decent but her friends are insane and socially awkward little trolls who don’t know how to interact with other human beings (9s and 10s are really socially calibrated and savvy and are actually often way more polite than these uggos), so she’s throwing you a little life-raft. She doesn’t want you scared off, but she’s not going to ioi you flat-out quite yet…

    Basically, the 7 is watching a gladiator fight and going “not a bad job you did there against those lions…throw the champion a sword and let them continue!” :)

    “Me: Wow! I fucking love girl talk. Let’s dish: this one time, I tried to see how many times I could flick my ex-girlfriend’s tits before her nipples got hard. Turns out it’s 8….8 times.”

    lol I will probably steal this. Also, the stuff you did here: 1) exaggerate/tool their lame girl-talk stuff, showing outcome independence. 2) story-telling/leading the conversation (even if they hate you). 3) turned the conversation sexual (very important to be doing this and take yourself out of the asexual short friend category). and 4) showing pre-selection in casually dropping that you have an ex-girlfriend…and also 5) implying you’re single because she’s your EX-girlfriend, so if a girl is interested, she knows you’re available.

    “(5.5 and 6 just look away, the 7 kinda keeps it apathetic, the 7.5 does the sloooow nod thing)”

    Uggos are sticking to their bitch frame, waiting for you to cave to it. 7 is still on the fence about you but curious and sees possible potential, she’s watching the gladiator fight but can’t cheer you on blatantly so she keeps an apathetic vibe to hide her cards (if She shows interest, but then you turn out to be a lame fuck who bombs all the shit-tests her friends give, then she’s a girl who showed interest to a LOSER, ewwwww!!!! So she can’t show interest until you’ve won over the group in some way and they all think you’re high enough value for her to be interested in).

    The 7.5 is bringing out the heavy artillery now. She’s probably not into you at all, you’re just another guy hitting on them and her shields are up in full force…but as a 7.5 she doesn’t want to be a super bitch like the 5.5/6 because everyone expects little trolls to be bitchy assholes, but a 7.5 who’s a bitch gets more flak for it. She’s seeing that the uggos can’t phase you, so she’s trying to lend her support to them.

    Really, right here at this point, you have the group massively divided. The 7 is interested but can’t express it, so she’s “fighting” against the 5.5 and 6 who vehemently hate you because they’re shitty human beings who can’t even be civil when they’re out at a social gathering and someone tries to socialize with them, and the 7.5 is going “with the group” because she doesn’t care either way…so if 2/4 girls hate you, and the 1/4 isn’t showing enough blatant interest to keep you around, she joins the two girls to become 3/4 against you.

    BUT THEN…

    “Me: (suddenly to the 7.5) What? Do you think I’m about to flick your nipples?”

    Fucking perfect. :) This is the TSN turning point right here. You could have chosen a ton of responses, but this one says you know girls like her are full of themselves and cocky and think every guy wants to fuck them so you’re showing that you “get it”. And it says that you know most guys would be thinking that and trying to flick her nipples with a story like that so you’re showing that you also understand guys and “get it”. Just like, all good things. Plus her whole group knows she probably gets the most attention usually so you’re basically calling out the elephant in the room in a fun way and it’s so unexpected that she can’t help but lose her frame for a second and laugh.

    “(She………..laughs!!!!!! YES!!!)”
    :) Remember, SO many guys, like 99.99999% would’ve given up at the flat hairdresser response, and most of the rest would have given up at the girl talk part, and the rest would’ve given up at the slow nod. This is why we plow lol You can turn shit around if you understand psychology and group dynamics (aka Mystery’s group theory).

    “And her (indicating the 7).”

    This is good. This is letting the 7 know “I’m fucking around with your hotter friend here because it’s funny to me, but don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, you’re the one I’d actually want to go for because I’m reading your sub-communications you’ve been sending me”.

    “on some kind of nipple busting rampage on some bitches I just met. For fuck’s sake.”

    lol swearing, calling them bitches, etc. is all good for showing that you don’t care about trying to impress them. You can be polite, that’s fine too, but when you start out it’s good to be a full out dick. You have to swing on both sides of the pendulum before you settle it down in the middle somewhere way down the road from now. So keep it up.

    The group is now 2 girls for you and 2 girls against you.

    “(5.5 and 6 are kinda forced to be into it a little because the 7.5 and 7 are chuckling now)”
    :) This is group theory in action. Mystery Method stuff. You’ve won over the higher-value girls in the group, so the rest are forced by social pressure to follow along. Now, the group is 4 girls for you. :) They don’t all LOVE you, but you’ve demonstrated enough value that the uggos won’t give you as much shit like at the start, and if you can handle logistics and all that, you could begin hitting on the 7 and probably not get cockblocked as severely as if you had hit on her right away before passing all these shit-tests.

    ie – this is a situation you could theoretically work with to bang the 7. :)

    Notice how wussy this shit-test is compared to “you should go away”:

    “5.5: Yeah well you’re being kind of creepy about everything.”

    This is her basically saying “Fuck, I know everyone thinks I was a bitch now…so I’ll blame him to justify my actions so I don’t have to accept that I’m a shitty human being”.

    Now here, a lot of guys will be like “I’mma show that bitch, I’m gonna make her feel bad! No olive branch from me, fuck her for being rude, go die in a hole you cunt!!” and try to tool her. But the optimal way to handle it is to extend the olive branch and give her an “out” and say “lol it’s cool, I’m a guy in a bar and you girls are hot, you probably get hit on by creepy dudes all night. I asked a chick where the bathroom was once, and she was like “I’M NOT GOING TO FUCK YOU YOU KNOW!!!” and I was like woah bitch calm down lol I just need to drain the lizard. (90/10 rule, keep talkin’ till you pass the hook point) This is why I’m not a fan of meeting girls in the bar, I think it’s rare to find an actual relationship that way, you know? (segueing into building comfort/rapport/etc.) Like I had this one friend who met a girl and–(blah blah story, ask for their opinions, etc.)”

    Basically the point is when the other person realizes the group has been turned against them and that they really WERE unjustified for being so rude to you, but they’re too embarrassed to admit it so they drop lame excuses like that…recognize that, calibrate to it, and extend them the olive branch. They will end up liking you because you’re relieving the social pressure they’re feeling, so they have to take the olive branch because that feels less painful emotionally than sitting there feeling like everyone thinks they’re shitty.

    This is how I handle AMOGs a lot of the time if they’re dicks to me. I’ll rally the group/crowd up against them, so I know they’re feeling massive social pressure, and as soon as I see them pass that point where they crack and consciously realize “o shit everyone thinks I’m the asshole here”, I’ll press on them a little harder and just give it a twist thinking like “fuck you for being a dick…see this feeling? I control this, this is a direct consequence of you being a dick to me…memorize this pain, asshole.”, and then I’ll just relieve allllllll that pressure and go “lol it’s cool man, we’ve all been drinking and I totally was kind of creepy when I came up anyway lol You gotta’ protect your girls from the bar creepers, right? You’d be a shitty friend if you DIDN’T give a random strange dude shit for talking to them. :) So anyway–(segue into resuming the sarge)”

    He’ll take that olive branch because he gets to stop feeling all that social pressure, and now you’re bros.

    This is REALLY powerful. You would be surprised how many people, guys, girls, hot girls, tough MMA type guys, etc. will cave to social pressure and how much power you have when you can consciously wield that social pressure. It’s fascinating.

    “Me: Whoa…calm down crazy.”

    haha a good response to neutralize her shit. You’re basically still leading the conversation like “calm your tits woman, we’re all just talking here, it’s fine.” and re-enforcing your frame that what you’re doing isn’t weird.

    But it doesn’t quite win her over:

    “5.5 was annoyed”

    Because there’s no olive branch and you don’t give her an excuse for her actions that she can latch onto to keep the “I’m not a shitty human being who acted badly earlier” frame in her mind. Know what I mean? This is a really subtle thing but really important when it comes to running group theory game which is something you’re going to be doing a lot of, so if it doesn’t make complete sense, let me know and I can try to elaborate further.

    Notice in my other post I mentioned that for a short guy, it’s better for you to be approaching groups with hot girls in them, because you get a chance to demonstrate your value, THEN you can zero in on a target and escalate from there. Being short, you’re approaching with a deficit of value in their stereotypical view of the world, so if you go direct you don’t get a chance to demonstrate how awesome you are…but when you jump into the gladiator ring and go head to head with some lions (aka shit-tests, her bitchy friends, etc.) and come out victorious, NOW you have high-value.

    Imagine if, at this point, a hot shooter girl you always flirt with, comes over and grabs you and flirts with you. What would THAT do to the dynamics of this group where you’ve won them over and shown enough value for the 7 and 7.5 to approve of you and you know the 7 is a little bit interested (there’s a spark there, as evidenced by her throwing you a sword earlier, and her asking your name before she goes later)? Then imagine your buddy brings you a beer, because you’re so pimp that your buddies supplicate to you? Then imagine the manager of the bar goes “Scray!! What’s up man! Hey girls, watch out for this guy, he’s trouble! ;) ” and buys the table a round of shots.

    Think your height would matter a single fuck at that point? :) This is the kind of game you’re going to be working toward over the next few years of your life. Future Scray will be doing shit you can’t even imagine would be possible for him to do right now.

    “but I feel the momentum starting to shift.”

    Yup. You really did good, even though you probably couldn’t see that at the time. And even though if you went back to this 200 lays super Natural buddy you guys brought out, he’d probably be like “yo did you get a number bro? pffft you didn’t? and one of them called you CREEPY?? Jeeze man, pay attention and take notes on what I do k? I’ll show you how it’s done. (goes over and approaches a 6 who’s been eye-fucking him for 20 minutes)”
    :) Like I say, you’re playing a completely different Game from everyone else now. Other people’s standards of what’s a victory/failure don’t apply anymore. Just like a 5yo drawing space ships might tell the NASA scientist that his design doesn’t look cool and his coloring book space ship is way better. You’re entering a world where you learn to play with social dynamics in a level that 5yo with his crayons can’t even wrap his head around.

    “Unfortunately, at around this time, 4 guys show up synchronously…like they had just rappelled down some sort of cockblocking black helicopter…and immediately escorted all of them to the dancefloor.”

    lol. Logistics. :) This is the stuff where guys who don’t go out but rant about how any guy can get those “drunk slutty bitches” at the bar etc. etc. just show their inexperience and I can tell they don’t go out and pick up. They have no idea how many things can go wrong between meet and lay, often completely out of your control or blindsiding you.

    With those guys I just want to take them to the bar and go “Okay, there’s a 9. Go get her, let’s see you do it, since it’s so easy. Put your dick in her tonight.” Not a single King A could pull it off to save his life.

    “I’m like, ‘ahhh fuck’ and just start to move on, when 7 turns.”

    Of course she did. :)

    “‘Hey who are you?’”

    This is her ioi. Asking your name. She’s not saying “Put your dick in me!!” but she IS saying “you have 1 out of 3 iois that would indicate I’m attracted enough to make out with you” :)

    “‘Hey Scray, nice to meet you, I’m Renee….see you around.’”
    :) Good stuff. This means she “has” to go with these guys, for whatever reason (her friends like them, they know them, she has a boyfriend and isn’t supposed to be hitting on other guys, whatever who knows?) BUT she wants to make sure you know “I liked how you fought in that gladiator arena…come find me again sometime and keep demonstrating value till you get those other 2 iois…PLEASE. :)

    “Lame as it is, I was pretty psyched about this meaningless bit of politeness.”

    You SHOULD be. :) It’s an important bit of politeness, not meaningless. Hell, it’s probably the most meaningful bit of politeness of the whole set.

    “Should I have asked for a number? Persisted? I don’t really know.”

    You actually could have. :) I don’t normally like to do a formal introduction (name exchange and handshake) but THIS is a situation where I would instigate one. “YaReally. (hold out my hand to shake)” Then if she shakes it I just won’t let go lol Not in a threatening way obviously but in like a “hey, stick around a sec, I’m not done talking to you” way. I’ll pull her in so she’s isolated enough from her friends that they don’t know what we’re saying and I’ll drop a bigger Statement of Intent…if I think I can get away with it I’ll say “My friends want to leave soon, give me your number, I want to see you again.” and pull out my phone (hidden from view of her friends).

    But often there isn’t enough isolation to do that (her friends are going “Come daaance!” and the guy who was going to dance with her is watching like a fucking HAWK lol), so I’ll settle for something like “You going to be here all night? I’m going to find you later and we’ll grab a drink.” or “My friends are leaving soon, if I don’t see you again tonight, come back next week, I’ll be here.”

    This is said with like, solid eye-contact and rock-solid confidence, like you KNOW she wants to see you again and you want her to know that you know…you know? lol

    It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t give you her number, or if you don’t see her again that night, or if she doesn’t come to the bar next week and you only run into her 4 months down the road at some other bar…the point is that you showed your intent and she knows the deal. You get a million bonus points just for doing that…it’s like going for the kiss, even if she turns her cheek, that’s fine, you just play it off like no big deal and try again later…the important thing is showing that you’re not afraid to go for the kiss, not whether you get it or not. This is that same concept. :)

    “It happened too fast”

    Time will slow down for you as your reaction speed increases and a lot of this goes on auto-pilot. Part of what makes Naturals good is that they’re really attuned to these little windows of opportunity and they’ve had success with women for so much of their lives that they instinctively pounce on these windows instantly, whereas guys like us have to learn to watch for them…and beta AFC guys don’t even notice the windows are opening or talk themselves out of it (“nahh no way she could be into me, she probably was just being polite” lol). This is part of why we err on the side of “assume attraction” instead of “assume no attraction”…often, especially at the start, there are actually open windows in the interaction that you don’t even realize are there, so it’s better to be erring on the side of trying to jump through the windows.

    “and it probably would have been a cold number anyway.”

    It very likely would have. You didn’t have SOLID attraction where she’s chasing you down begging you to take her number, but you did have a spark you could fan into a bigger flame. Ideally if you had more time with her, you could demonstrate more high value, build more attraction/comfort, qualify her so she falls into the frame of trying to win you over, etc. and THEN get the number and it’d be solid.

    But the SWAT team rappelling in fucked that up for you. Again it’s not important whether you did it or not, just whether you understand now that there WAS a spark there, and what things lead me to that conclusion. :)

    If you ever run into her again, get her laughing, demonstrate some value, and start building rapport/comfort and qualifying her and try to push for it. You might not be able to do it because if you see her again you’ve only basically got 1 little ol’ ioi from her so it’s not like she’s going to react like she saw Brad Pitt walk into the room…so you’re basically starting over from scratch. But you should give it a go…you got her attracted once, you can do it again. Most guys will get frustrated because they think they get to start from where they left off (like the guy who was complaining about making out with girls and then they won’t txt him back) but no, you’re starting over from ground zero again each time unless you REALLY rock her world.

    “a 6 and a 6.5, pretty good.”

    The bread and butter of the Natural. It’s not bad, I mean a 6.5 is alright, most guys wouldn’t complain or anything…but understand that his “200 lays” aren’t all gorgeous 9s and 10s like him and his buddies and his reputation will try to convince you. :)

    Always try to find out what happened, with these Naturals. Like next time you hang out with Mark, ask him “man so how’d it go with those girls? I had to take off early but I saw you guys sitting with some girls? Were they Roger’s friends?” and just find out for your own reference experience. A lot of the time you’ll hear them go “who? oh those ones, nah, they go to school with Roger and he totally got her number but then we lost them so we just found some other girls” (aka it’s not that impressive after all).

    The funny part to me is when Naturals tell the story and they’re like “oh ya I took this girl home…she was pretty cute, decent looking.” That’s code for “I banged a 4 and hope no one ever sees her and finds out” lol Naturals do this kind of thing all the time…I know because I’ve been there WITH Naturals while they pick up these chicks, and then I hear them telling the story to other guys lol

    I never shit on them though, I just go “lol ya that chick was horny as fuck, good job man you got her so fast, you guys should’ve seen it!” and help perpetuate the myth and his reputation…because a Natural who’s in a shitty mood is like a big fucking whiny crybaby lol, and I generally try to make sure my whole group feels good and awesome and confident when we go out because I want my buddies to feel like the shit the way I do so we all kill it as a group and all have a blast…so ya, I could be like “Dude, that girl was NASTY!! lol” and tool him in front of everyone, but then what kind of vibe are we going out with? Depression, hostility, insecurity, competitiveness, etc. That’s no fun. :)

    “maybe I kind of bitched out”

    Nah, you ran a set and you plowed through a bunch of shit-tests and resistance and scored an ioi, that fuckin counts! VICTORY!!! :) During the week Tyler only goes out for like 20 minutes and just opens a few sets…it’s just about getting into that routine where approaching people feels natural instead of weird.

    “Ted: You’re half-black, right? Really, all this is about is not being a puta — a bitch.”

    lol I don’t respond very well to this kind of pep talk. Like some guys really respond to the drill sergeant kind of “Man up, don’t be a bitch, approach that set!!” stuff, but I’m pretty chill/intellectual so these guys always come off as kind of knobs to me and my response is also “lol ya okay…”

    “Ted: Nah, a lot of guys fold under social pressure. Guys like us have it easy, we have an easy training ground.

    Me: What?

    Ted: We’re half-minorities…really whole minorities, what’s the difference.

    Me: Okay….

    Ted: We gotta get lots of people to call you a nigger tonight.

    Me: ……………………………………………………………I don’t want to die, or anything.”

    fucking lol. The funny part to me is how insane this probably sounded to you, but I DO totally understand what he’s trying to say.

    Basically imagine you’re a rich kid born into wealth. But say that to succeed in life, you need some financial management skills and know how to budget etc. Well, if you’re a rich kid, you’re not going to learn that shit…you would have to give away a bunch of your money or construct really weird scenarios just to get a chance to have a reason to learn that shit. You go travel around with no money trying to learn to budget, but then your mom sends you a $100,000 cheque on the road and you’re like “well fuck I guess I’ll just get my 5 star hotel room with this after all”. Like, you’re probably not going to learn to manage your money.

    But if you grow up poor, you have “an easy training ground” to learn financial management skills, because every dollar counts and means the difference betwen eating or not eating that day. SO down the road when you hit those tests where you need money management skills, you fucking own it because you’ve had all this training that the rich kid didn’t.

    So he’s looking at it like “shit, we’re poor as fuck, but that’s good man, we have an easy training ground to learn a skill that all these rich kids aren’t going to learn, and that skill is going to help us own our shit compared to them.”

    Now, is his method of going out trying to get called niggers at a racist country bar the SANEST way to go about this? lol, probably not. There are other ways you can learn to stand up to social pressure (check out BradP’s “Social Freedom Exercises”, it’s a program that forces you do put yourself in situations that will socially pressure you, and you escalate it over time and build that ability to not cave to it…also the exercises generally won’t get you killed in an alley outside of a country bar lol).

    So I wouldn’t recommend hanging out with the guy much because 1) there’s a decent chance of getting your ass kicked compared to other things you could do, 2) usually guys with his attitude are the types who are also ready to throw down and scrap if something bad went down and I’m not a fighting type at all so I just avoid that kind of vibe entirely because those guys expect me to back them up and I’m like “um no, how about you just don’t get into a fight in the first place like a normal human being, thanks”, and 3) were any of the girls there the type of girls you even WANT? lol A 5 spouting off about nigger dicks? ehhh, I’d rather approach a smokin hot 9 and force myself to handle the social pressure of staring down a gorgeous hottie, you know?

    “‘if you can successfully control yourself and — somehow — turn around a situation where people just fucking hate you on principle….what can stop you?’”

    lol this is true as a concept. It’s just his execution is a little insane. :) Like you could learn to fight by just picking street fights outside bars every night…or you could go train in a gym fighting with sparring equipment. The end result gets you to a similar point, but one way is a pretty insane way of going about it, and the other is a little more appealing to me, personally.

    “I had literally NO CLUE how to fucking handle it.”

    lol ya, that was the whole point of it. Trail by fire basically. Thing is down the road when your game is more solid and you’re used to handling group dynamics and shit-tests etc. in GENERAL, you could go back to this place and probably own it like a champ like Ted. But you’re still building on the basics right now lol Like you’re learning the mechanics of how to throw a punch properly, before stepping into the ring to fight.

    “one of the dudes at one point was like ‘this goddamned anchor baby beaner,’ and Ted throws his head back, ‘yeah, all right, gomer pyle, bob hope eat a dick whoever the fuck you are…’ and everyone laughed their asses off.”

    lol this is how a lot of AMOG types interact. It’s basically shit-testing the other guy and seeing if he’s going to be a bitch and let it get to him, or if he’s going to laugh and throw it back in their face…then they end up best buds because they have a mutual respect for eachother.

    It was really a bunch of mind-fuckery when I first started hanging out with other dudes and seeing this stuff first-hand. And I had the same reactions you probably did where you’re like “wtf?? This is insane, I don’t get what just happened at ALL…I don’t even WANT to get it, this is stupid to me”. But now I can handle myself the way Ted does and I understand a lot of this is just about respecting the other guy and earning his respect.

    There was this one Natural dude in my first social circle who would alllways try to tool me and compete with me and challenge me to getting girls against him etc. etc. And I thought he was the biggest fucking asshole for the longest time lol Then one day I realized what was going on was that he actually respected me and just assumed I wouldn’t be phased by any of that and that I was on his level…it was because I was at the “fake it” stage of “Fake it till you make it”, so OUTWARDLY I was projecting that I was on his level, but interally I wasn’t at all, so he was reacting to me like I was on that level and had no idea I was faking it and he was actually frustrating me lol

    Again down the road you “make it” and now when I meet guys like that, they love me, because I can go back and forth with them and my frame is stronger and they respect me. And because I understand the dynamics of what’s going on, I actually don’t mind it and laugh about it sometimes and have fun with it, instead of being confused and annoyed that that’s how guys are.

    “Is there something to his theory, or is Ted insan”e…or both?”

    Ted is definitely insane, but you’d be surprised at the insights you can learn now and then from the insane lol :)

    “I was planning on not going out, but there was an event at a club that 90% of the school social circle were attending. So…why not?”

    Excellent. This attitude is why I write these FR analyses for you. :) I don’t even care if this FR ends with “and then I boned 4 supermodels in the ass all night” or not…you can’t control the outcome or how girls will react to you, all you can control is your own actions and that you take action and put yourself out there and try.

    “So, my new thing that I’ve been trying out has been break-up/make-up. It goes really well with ‘I love you.’”

    Good, good. This is something that’s fun for you, so keep it up.

    “So, I tell 6.5 to make sure she goes back to her friend and asks about Rodrigo.”

    lol good stuff, you’re good at coming up with random weird fun shit to do to amuse yourself.

    “Then I just am like, also, tell your friend that I’m in crazy mad crazy love with her. And 6.5 laughs, and I’m like ‘THIS IS SERIOUS, SHE’S MY SOULMATE!’ Her eyes widen, and she nods.”

    lol again, good stuff. This is the attitude of just fucking around. With something like that, she might actually think you’re serious, but down the road you can bust on her for believing you and all that and then she realizes “o shit he was just fucking with me and I fell for it durrr lol what an asshole lol :)

    The prob is she might go over and warp it into this serious thing like “he really likes you” and then creep the girl out with her thinking you have a gay Beta crush instead of the funny “SHE IS MY SOULMATE.” fucking around you’re actually doing. lol

    “Naturally, I just move away like ‘im falling in love with you now, goddammit.’ She laughs.”

    Good. Now you’re qualifying her, like the ski town girl you sat down with you didn’t give a reason for her being your soulmate so you could be desperate and in her mind she could be any girl, but this time you’re qualifying her band choice so she knows this is a reaction/reward to her passing your qualifications.

    “Then I turn to her and am like ‘what the fuck is wrong with you? We’re broken up. FOREVER. DON’T EVEN FUCKING TALK TO ME. DON’T EVEN LOOK MY WAY!’ She covers her mouth, she’s laughing, and I look away.”

    lol awesome. Love it. You don’t have to be logical at all with your reasons for why you break up with her…the point is that you give ANY reason, just like falling in love with her. “Oh you can cook, I’m in love with you. What are those shoes you’re wearing? Black shoes? No I hate black shoes, we’re broken up.” Like, it can be just complete arbitrary illogical nonsense…that’s all you self-amusing and it keeps her going “omg wtf is with this guy lol I can’t keep up!! He’s crazy lol!!”

    But step back and look at that logically, what’s going on there? You’re leading the convo, you’re setting the frame, and she’s playing catch-up to you leading the interaction.

    Compare that to “Do you like Band Blah? Oh that’s cool, me too…so umm what about Band Durr? Oh you like them? I’m not a big fan, I mean they’re okay but I think their older songs were better…like do you know this one song–” zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

    Which interaction is more fun and pushing the girl through more of an emotional rollercoaster, you know?

    “After a few seconds, I’m like ‘remember that time we broke up. listen, I didn’t mean all of that. You just make me really mad sometimes.’”

    Fucking lol. This is awesome. I’m probably going to steal it. It reminds me of Matt Damon at the end of this set of clips from Entourage:

    Where he’s crying and then apologizing lol Like it’s such a classic stereotype thing that it’s hilarious to see, let alone be the recipient of, from someone you’ve literally just met for the first time a few minutes ago, you know? Great stuff.

    “And she’s like ‘oh, okay…well so are we back together?’”

    And now you guys are roleplaying being a couple. :) This is all good stuff in terms of flirting in general. This isn’t gay friend zone supplicating to her shit. This chick might not fuck you or anything, but this is a solid interaction and she’s completely in your frame.

    “she made me pinky swear to be in her group for some sort of thing we’re doing in a class we have together”

    ioi obviously. There are sparks here that you could fan into flames if you wanted, because you demonstrated all sorts of awesome stuff and pushed her through a bunch of emotions. You’re on the radar, type thing.

    “I also asked her at some point what friendship meant to her (shout out to whoever left that link to ‘good questions’). I was surprised at the in-depth answer I got out of her.”

    1) Girls will surprise you when you get into the comfort/rapport stage more frequently with them. It’s part of why I don’t insult them and look at them all as vapid shitty bar slut whores like a lot of bitter guys do. They’re just like anyone else…if you cut through their bullshit persona and get to their core as a person, you’ll find a lot of them are much more complicated/fascinating/beautiful on the inside than other people who only see the exterior facade think.

    2) The ooooonly issue with asking her about friendship is that, because as a short guy a lot of girls will be inclined to automatically put you in the friend zone, a similary deep question that’s more about attraction/sexuality would serve you better. It’s like a 40yo hitting on a 20yo doesn’t want to bring up the subject of age because even though he could overcome it, why poke the bear and risk venturing down a self-sabotaging path if he doesn’t have to? Same time, a super sexual question can be a little threatening…so try picking something around “attraction, lust VS love, romance, seduction, flirting, etc.” as a topic VS the concept of friendship (one end of the pendulum swing) or “how many cocks have you had in you at once?” (the other end of the pendulum swing) lol

    I actually like the comfort/rapport stage a lot. A lot of guys get bored with it and it’s just a necessary evil to them, but I really like to see what makes people tick and break through their bullshit exteriors to talk to them on an internal level. This is part of why I build comfort/rapport with people (guys, girls, old people, etc.) REALLY fast, like they feel like they’ve known me for years when it’s only been a few minutes…it’s because I’m getting to know them on a level that only maybe their best friends of 20+ years know them. Like they’re keeping everyone else at arms length but I just steamroll through that and get in close on the level that only their close friends and family know them…and often I’ll get to know them BETTER than their friends/family know them because I talk to them about inappropriate subjects that their friends would judge them for.

    It’s all fascinating to me. :) This is part of why going out is fun to me and why I progressed decent. A lot of guys, especially older Manosphere types, just hate people in general…they want pussy but they hate all the “work” they have to do to get it and they view it all AS “work”. Guys like the RSD instructors are just out fucking around having fun expressing themselves and enjoying making people react and getting to know them and take them on adventures and stuff. That’s the right attitude, ultimately.

    No one reads a bitter Manosphere guy’s post and is like “man, I’d like to hang out with THAT guy all night and introduce the cute girls in my social circle to him!” lol It’s more like “I like the guy’s writing, he has some valid points, but fuck what a negative piece of shit”. :)

    “We all were talking in a circle for a bit, and then there was the idea to dance.”

    lol fuck I hate dancing. Girls always jump at the chance. Tyler used to joke, when the Black Eyed Peas were new, “Do you have any idea how many times fucking Andre 3000 has cockblocked me??” lol Soon as a song comes on the girls go “OMG OMG OMG LETS GO DAAAAANCE!!!!” and it’s like fuuuuuuck sarge is blown lol

    “In my mind I’m like ‘fuck this, I’m not running a race with these two chodes.’”

    Good. If you don’t LOVE dancing, like you wouldn’t go to a club JUST to dance, then if you’ve got heavy kino with a girl and it’s later in the night and the dance floor is crowded enough that you can isolate her from her friends a bit and the attraction is there that you feel like you can escalate to sexy grinding and become a “couple” for the rest of the night afterward, cool, go dance with her. But if it’s anything less than that, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot and killing attraction while you dance 2 feet away from her feeling insecure and you’re all in a circle facing eachother friend-zone style.

    At least if you just vanish, you’re still a little mysterious and she can wonder what dancing with you would be like.

    I actually sometimes go “Okay ya let’s go” and let everyone else walk in front of me to the dance floor and then before I get to the floor I just veer off and go somewhere else and talk to other people or get a drink or go to the bathroom etc. and don’t go onto the dance floor to join them at all lol It makes the girl go “wait what? Where did YaReally go??” and it’s not much but hey, she’s thinking about me and it gives her a reason to re-open me when she sees me later (“hey how come you didn’t come dance??”) where I might be able to build some more attraction and escalate and dance with her on my own terms if I want to dance.

    Set the playing field that benefits YOU, don’t let other people lead you into a shitty field. You wouldn’t fight a war on the other army’s home turf if you had the option of fighting it on yours.

    “then just leave.”

    All good. Another victory night! You ran some good shit, avoided a time-wasting trap, and once again went through the process of “I put my pants on, I go out, and I to people and flirt with girls, that’s who Scray is.”

    “So, at this point, I’m deciding that my drug dealer opener is less me.”

    Cool man, your openers/routines will change and evolve as you go. I used to write down a lot of my stuff just to help me remember it, and when I look back on openers/routines I used like 5 years ago, they just completely aren’t “me” anymore. They were “me” at the time, but your vibe will change and evolve, and so will your game and the things that feel congruent for you.

    “I resolve to go direct”

    Also cool, give it a go, try it out, play with it. Personally I think the optimal route for a short dude is to build value/etc. with a chick’s group (or your social circle or the bartenders etc.) and then target a girl and qualify her and go direct from there, juuuust to avoid what that other short guy was saying about how instant-direct forces a girl to decide right then and there if she’s going to fuck you and since a lot of girls will categorize you as “not fuckable” based on height, you might lose out on girls that you could’ve gotten if you built a little value first and THEN went more direct.

    BUT, try it out if you feel it. You have to try a bunch of different shit out and see what sticks and feels right to you. I don’t like going direct much myself because I like a lot of ridiculous verbal word-play and flirting with innuendo etc., that’s fun to me…BUT, I have gone out a bunch and gone 100% direct, and I still go direct now and then just for the practice.

    It’s like if you’re a boxer, that’s cool, but if you learn to do some kicking too, you’re more well-rounded…and who knows maybe you’ll find out you really like kicking more. Only you can feel that out, but you should give kicking a chance before ruling it out, just to understand it. :)

    “/chodeoverandout I just turn away lol. I blink a few times, like ‘wtf’ to myself.”

    lol

    “I look over at her once. I try to form the words. NOTHING.”

    lol

    “and loudly say ‘SO WHAT DRINK YOU ORDERING? I’M DRINKING A BUD LIGHT. YEAH.’”

    fucking lol :) Okay what’s happening here is that now you’ve upped the consequences. If you go up and say “hey where’s the bathroom?”, the worst that’ll happen is she goes “um I dunno sorry”. No biggie. If you go up and say “I want to fuck you in the ass” the worst that’ll happen is she slaps you, throws a drink in your face, 10 WhiteKnights nearby overhear you and kick your ass, and the bouncers throw you out and ban you for life and she presses charges for sexual harassment.

    So naturally, your brain is going to chicken out a bit more when you decide to go direct. :)

    One thing that helps with going direct is the 3 second rule, where as soon as you see her, you have to approach within 3 seconds. When you stand beside her for a minute, glancing over, your brain is filling your head with why it’s a bad idea to say hi and it makes you panic and choke…if you force yourself to say “hi” within 3 seconds, you can short-circuit that process and jump into the water before you convince yourself there might be sharks in it.
    Another route to try is to go indirect/casual at the start of the night, and then start going more direct later in the night when you’ve build up some momentum/confidence. Doing a hardcore legit direct cold-approach as your first set in the night is like going “hey, I just woke up…I think instead of going to my office job today I’m going to go to the NFL and throw the winning touchdown on my first throw.” lol

    RSD recommends approaching and “just saying anything” at the start. Like just making awkward small-talk. Just get yourself in a social groove and talkative and used to spouting nonsense. Each time you do that, your brain gets a little reference experience of “okay, that was awkward, but I didn’t get killed…so talking to girls, even if it goes bad, won’t get me killed…okay, that means I can talk to all these girls! Sweet!!” and your brain will let you loosen up and get into the flow.

    But a big part of that method is allowing yourself to bomb lol Like knowing “wow what I just said was terrible and I have no idea what to say now…lol this is so awkward, she must think I’m a fucking weird creeper lol” and then shrugging and walking off and being OKAY with that and seeing the humor in it (imagine how weird that was to her lol) and allowing that to fuel you into a funny state of mind and loosen up. As you do it, you’ll get sharper and sharper and start hitting on all cylinders.

    I have to do this because my day to day job involves sitting at a computer not talking to anyone all day and I’m very focused on my work these days because I have some career goals right now, so when Friday night comes around I have literally not socialized face-to-face all week (unless I invite a chick over to bang or whatever). So I get to the chaotic club and there’s all these titties in push-up bras everywhere and I’m like “fffffuuuuuu….” and have to warm-up and basically make an ass of myself for a bit till I get used to socializing again.

    It’s really not optimal, I much prefer a schedule where I can go out a few times a week, even for just a bit, or shoot the shit with store employees or co-workers at lunch etc, but right now I’m doing solo work at home and like I say, I’m focused on that right now.

    “Then, I just decide to go in there with fundamentals or something.”

    This kind of thing is part of why we have routines and openers…so when you’re feeling out of it, you can just rely on something you’ve used a bunch of times before and often that can jump-start you into a getting back on track. Like when you’re tired and don’t want to go to the gym, but you force yourself to put on your gym clothes anyway, and once those are on well you might as well get your gym bag, and once you have that well you might as well put the gym bag in the car, and once you’ve done that you might as well drive to the gym, and then lift weights, etc.

    “(probably should have distracted the obstacles, but fuck it, I need to get INTO the game)”

    You, in state and “in the game”, is 1000x more valuable in terms of wingmanship than an out-of-state you just forcing yourself to babysit an obstacle. You might even fuck it up and lose that set for him, and that sucks, but if it gets you in state, then you guys will kill the next set and that’s worth it.

    Abundance mentality, you know? There’s more girls. :)

    “‘I REALLY LIKE THAT BEANIE.’ said with just that kind of inflection.”

    lol this shit always makes me laugh.

    “‘that’s fucking disgusting. You’re gross.’”
    “‘and with that bag you’re carrying and beanie you kind of look like you’re going to bomb the WTC’”

    lol none of this makes any sense logically…but notice that she isn’t being like “wtf fuck off you freak!!” Like ya, it’s awkward, but you’re not going to DIE…so your brain is getting the reference experience of “there’s really no terrible consequence for saying this stupid shit, so really, I can say and do anything, and imagine if I Was actually saying GOOD stuff, shit, let’s try THAT next time, brain!”

    You’re getting yourself into state by tanking this set, so it’s fine.

    “she just continues to nod with an oooooooooooooookaaay grin.”

    She has no idea what to make of you lol You are just this surreal person living in their own reality to her.

    “I just say how I feel: ‘I don’t get any of that shit, but there’s a lot of colors…NICE.’”

    Good stuff. Again you’re probably not going to fuck this girl because you’re tanking this all, but step back and unemotionally look at how much reference experience you’re gaining for “nothing will go wrong if you say stupid shit and embarrass yourself and be honest about what you think about thinks”.

    So ya, the set goes away, but it’s still all good. Like I say, this is a long-term process here, not something you’re going to fix in a weekend. We go out a lot because we cram the social experience that most people have in 10 years, into one year, you know?

    “then I see my second legit 9 in field. I walk by and stop…45 degree angle, body language, blah blah blah.

    Me: Hey, have they had a DJ here the whole night, or was there a band earlier?”

    See at this point, coming off that trainwreck, your brain is going “well shit, you might as WELL open her, it can’t go any worse than the president project set lol Nothing to lose at this point, just say some shit.

    “Her: Oh, no it’s been a DJ all night…yeah I –

    Me: Nah, fuck that. I just came over to talk to you because you seem sexy and I want to know if you’re cool, too.”

    Awesome. :) And your brain is going “you know what this is fucking stupid, let’s just say what we really think like when we were looking at those wax photos that girl was showing us…after all, nothing bad really happened when we did that. So hey, just tell her you think she’s sexy.”

    Without that set you bombed, you probably would’ve choked at approaching this girl, the same way you choked on the first couple girls.

    “and why I trust Yareally now.”

    NOW??? :’( lol

    “She leans back for a second, and her eyes widen, and she gets this quirky little smile.”
    :) Like I say, you get bonus points for approaching the really hot girls. EVERY guy gets a few bonus points for doing it, because those girls know it takes balls to approach them in general…but a guy with what everyone else would naturally consider a disadvantage doing it…well, it’s like you hear Bob won his race at the Olympics. That’s pretty cool. Then you hear HE ONLY HAS ONE LEG. Holy shit, Bob is a GOD. He only finished the same race he did the first time you heard the news, but he did it working from what should be a deficit so he gets way more points for it.

    “Then, she looks both ways and dips her head a little

    Her: I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

    This means there’s someone in the room that she can’t “misbehave” in front of…either a boyfriend or her boyfriend’s friends. Or like, a really judgemental/protective female friend, etc.

    Notice though that she doesn’t say “I’m not interested, go away”…she says “I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” This is the same as busting LMR down the road when you start getting chicks in bed…they’ll go “we shouldn’t be doing this” or “I don’t know if we should do this”…those aren’t “NO”s where you stop, those just mean “I want you to know that I want this to still happen, but I have to throw up some token resistence so I don’t feel slutty, or I need you to eliminate some sort of obstacle that’s preventing me from going along with this” (like maybe she didn’t shave her legs that day because she didn’t expect to get laid so you just say “lol that’s fine, my room is messy because I wasn’t expecting to have a girl over either, I don’t mind your hairy-ass legs ya sasquatch ;) ” and get her laughing and loosened up and then she’ll put out because you’ve taken away the obstacle…unfortunately the hardest part is often figuring out WHAT that obstacle IS because it’s usually embarrassing so they don’t want to just tell you flat out lol)

    “Me: Why, they don’t you let you talk to strangers in here?”

    SOLID. Well done. You’re not apologizing, you’re not backing down, you’re still showing your intent, and you’re just completely unphased. This is alpha shit here, especially since she’s a 9 and since she’s indicated there might be dudes watching that would get mad at you and you just don’t have a single fuck to give about that possibility. Alpha boss shit.

    “She laughs.”

    You could probably build off this and get her. :) Unfortunately:

    “out of nowhere…this black dude gets straight up in my face”

    At first this sucks and is like “fuuuck”, but understand that the only reason this dude got in your face is because it was clear to him that you were a threat and attractive to this girl and you might be able to fuck her.

    Think of it like this…you’re dating a cute chick, and a guy who looks like Bill Gates at 16 starts talking to her and she’s glacing around the room like “ughh someone save me from this loser”. Do you give a fuck at all? Hell no, he can talk to her all night lol it’s not like he’s a threat, who cares?

    But then the Bill Gates kid leaves and Brad Pitt starts talking to her and she’s swooning at him looking at him with those DDB eyes. NOW you give a fuck lol

    A lot of Naturals are good at reading signs of attraction, even if it’s for other men. A lot of Naturals/PUAs will wait for one guy to get a girl horny and then swoop in and steal her. We call it “transferring Buying Temperature”. It’s a pretty vulture/predatory way of gaming and can piss guys off, but it’s legit.

    This is similar…the black guy sees she’s attracted and that you’re a threat, so he’s got to swoop in and block it.

    “‘hey dude, don’t talk to her dogg, no disrespect, but don’t talk to her dogg, nah dogg, don’t talk to her, no disrespect’”

    This means he’s not her boyfriend, but he’s probably a friend of her boyfriend, or a really close friend of hers who doesn’t want her to slut it up and cheat on her boyfriend.

    A boyfriend would just grab her and kiss her lol Or kick your ass. This guy’s trying to get you to go away, but doesn’t have enough “pull” to just take her away.

    And if he was a guy with a secret crush on her, he wouldn’t be so blatant trying to get rid of you because it would show his intentions.

    This is actually a really polite/cool way of trying to get rid of you, and it’s even partly for your own protection…like the BF could be some psycho and he’s just like “dude like no disrespect but seriously, you gotta’ back off this chick or her BF is going to go apeshit, nothing personal”.

    “I try to fly under the radar”

    lol too late. If you had gone indirect and stuck to “oh what band is playing, that’s cool blah blah”, you could stay flying under the radar…but you brought out the nukes by going direct and calling her sexy. You’re like Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid with a bunch of guns pointed at him lifting a nearby cardboard box and hiding under it while they’re watching lol

    “I’m pretty sure I kind of smirked when I said it”

    lol it wasn’t a very volatile situation, but this smirk is what can turn it into one. Then you get into the whole “yo you disrespecting me motherfucker??” street vibe step-up chest-bump shit and it goes downhill from there. It’s funny and ballsy, but you don’t want to spend the weekend hitting on the nurses in the trauma unit. :)

    “‘Nah we don’t need to be friends motherfucker, get the fuck on.’”

    Understand, YOU caused this reaction with your dismissive smirk and ignoring his warning etc. Ya, it’s a ballsy story and fun to tell and you “saved face” and all that, and that’s cool, but this escalation is the consequence of that and you have to ask yourself in these situations “is the outcome going to be worth it? Or is there a better way to handle this? Or even should I just take the hit and walk away even if it means the people around me will think I’m a pussy?” Remove emotion and go with logic.

    “the 9 has watched the whole time…and her expression is serious”

    She has to look serious because the situation is escalating and she has to make it look like it’s all your fault, like you’re hitting on her, not like she’s giving you iois and secretly enjoying you hitting on her. This is like when a taken chick sleeps with a guy and 100% is into it, but then gets caught by her BF and panics and cries rape or whatever, because she doesn’t want to look like a slut that wanted sex.

    “Then, I just kind of do a lackadaisical shrug…she grins.”

    But just like if you try not to laugh when someone tells you a joke, often you just can’t help it and it slips out. Your shrug makes her grin like “hehe he IS the badass alpha I thought he was…” But she can’t pursue it any further because of the logistics of the situation.

    “Then I do something, kind of stupid……”

    lol ya this was stupid. We’ve all done this kind of thing though so I won’t give ya shit. I once took 3 girls off a wigger gangbanger looking douche because I had talked to the girls earlier (they were a 3-set) and they were giving me the “save me” eyes on the dance floor so I’d pull one away to dance with me while she was dancing with him and he’d be like “Wtf??” and dance with the next one and I’d pull that one away, etc. till I had all 3 of them. Dude circled us with an “I’m gonna fucking kill you” expression on his face for like 5 min lol I just danced the girls over to a bouncer. :D

    A pickup buddy and I also ran from a club once, like full out bolted up the street with angry dudes behind us, but I can’t remember what we did to cause that ’cause it was years ago lol Good times. I’m sure it was our fault lol

    “starting after me along with two other dudes I didn’t notice before”

    ya, that’s kind of the problem with this stuff. I’ve had situs where I know I could probably take the guy who’s up in my face, but I also know he’s got who knows how many buddies there, who are in the crowd undercover to me because I have no idea, so even if I take this guy down, next thing ya know I’ve got a bottle across the back of my head from some dude I was oblivious too…or the guys leave and come back with more guys or guns or some shit. Or the dude recognizes me 2 months from now at another bar and I don’t recognize him at all ’cause he was a blip on my radar, and he just blindsides me.

    It just ain’t worth it. In this situ I’d've gone “Ah she got a boyfriend? Cool man, no worries, we’re good. Hey it’s a compliment, that dude is lucky lol Thanks for the heads-up, cheers!” and walked off. No negative consequences from



YaReally
on January 31, 2013 at 6:53 am
Original Link

Tyler’s latest vid has a few minutes of good in-field footage at the start where he makes out with a girl with a boyfriend, instigates a 3-way makeout, and pulls a 3-some:

Remember, that’s THIS balding pale ginger 5’9″ super stud lol:

http://bit.ly/VpBvI0
http://bit.ly/XmRVCn

It’s almost Friday, hope you guys are going out to talk to some girls this weekend. :)



EBook Review: 60 Years Of Challenge

Original Link

via Heartiste

Falconer
on January 29, 2013 at 1:41 pm
Original Link

I’ve been discouraged and frustrated lately. As an illustrative example of something that happens to me all the time:
I see HB9 at bar. Approach, comfort, rapport, etc.
Then I get her outside for a smoke, number close, kiss close, I’m on my way.
Text her 2 days later “lets grab drinks”. No response. Feels bad man. Delete number so I don’t chump out and text again. Another night alone with Netflix, lol.
I guess numbers are worthless these days. If you can’t get the SNL, might as well move on. Only way to do it with women becoming increasingly whorish and flaky.


  • Johnny Pranke
    on January 29, 2013 at 3:00 pm
    Original Link

    I know dat feel. The exact same thing happens to me. The interactions seem to go quite well and I can consistently kclose but there is no text response when I try to set up a day2. This has happened about half a dozen times to me in the last couple months. Very strange behavior. A friend in my local PUA lair told me the reason is that I’m not setting up enough of a prize frame to get the girls chasing me. However, this ‘prizing’ frame seems to be at odds with the aggressive ‘be a caveman and take what you want’ attitude that 60 and Heartiste advocate.

    [Heartiste: The prize frame is a mentality that manifests as an attitude you have with you all the time. Persistence is a tactic that you use when necessary. The two are not contradictory.]


    • Anon
      on January 29, 2013 at 5:13 pm
      Original Link

      YaReally will be here shortly, and he will blow your beta asses away.


      • YaReally
        on January 29, 2013 at 7:29 pm
        Original Link

        Ya, this is an easy/common/logical problem. My solution is in Mod, check back later.


    • YaReally
      on January 29, 2013 at 6:17 pm
      Original Link

      @Falconer
      “kiss close (…) Text her 2 days later “lets grab drinks”. No response.”

      @Johnny
      “I can consistently kclose but there is no text response when I try to set up a day2″

      You guys are triggering their ASD. This link is for you guys and anyone else having this problem:

      http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/why-ask-why-shun-the-stale-seven-questions/#comment-405683


      • Falconer
        on January 29, 2013 at 7:49 pm
        Original Link

        I appreciate the effort, but I don’t see how the link you offered is relevant to my dilemma. I never, and I do mean NEVER, ask the stale seven questions.


        • Falconer
          on January 29, 2013 at 8:05 pm
          Original Link

          Oh nevermind, you were linking to a specific comment.
          Honestly, I’ve done the whole “lean in for a kiss but don’t follow through” thing. Still no results. Maybe I just have bad luck, may I’m dreaming all these encounters. Maybe the bitch got dicked down by an AMOG that same night and fell in love. I don’t know anymore. I wish I could report that Game is improving my life, but the truth is it usually just makes me question my worth as a male.
          I’m not gonna bother getting numbers any more. I’ll just bang a slut when the stars are right and get on with my life.


          • YaReally
            on January 30, 2013 at 1:43 am
            Original Link

            You come off like you’ve got a lot of self-defeating victim mentality negativity/pessimism issues with your overall attitude/outlook that wearing a fuzzy hat and learning a few routines won’t fix. Some Tony Robbins or Eckhart Tolle might help.

            Or just suck it up and keep trying. :) Because you’re not far from a solution, you just need to keep tweaking your game until you’re doing it right.

            Look at this logically instead of emotionally:

            If she legit would’ve kissed you when you met her, then you know you’re fucking up somewhere between that moment where she was attracted enough to you, and texting. This is just simple logic. Between the attraction stage and meeting up, in order, are 1) what you do during that moment, 2) how you say goodbye, and 3) how you re-contact her to establish your Day 2.

            So, logically, the ways you can fuck up those 3 main points are:

            1) During that moment: not building enough comfort/rapport/connection/time-bridging/DHV’ing that she wants to see you again (time-bridge gives you guys a reason to have eachother’s number and makes it harder for her to bail, forcing her giving you her # is a great party trick but without comfort/rapport it’s not solid, not seeming any higher value or emotionally relevant than any of the other dozen guys htting on her later in the night, etc.)

            2) Saying your goodbyes: accidentally sabotaging your pickup when you say goodbyes (bailing as soon as you get her # instead of building more comfort, her seeing you hitting on other girls, coming off too needy/clingy when you say goodbye, leaving her in the hands of a player who fucks her, getting her number too early in the night for her to remember you after a dozen other guys get hre number, etc.)

            3) Re-contacting and establishing a Day 2: your text/phone game being weak and turning her off or at least not re-seducing her (boring/shitty re-initializing text, weak voice on the phone, failing shit-tests, not flirting/teasing enough to get her into state where she’ll be receptive, giving up too easily, etc.)

            So which of these do you think it is if you think back to your interactions? Maybe it’s more than one of them. Work on these over the next few months and when you learn to handle them proper, you’ll see more success.

            Try not allowing yourself to ask for phone numbers for the next 6 months, and instead work on your comfort/rapport (check out Magic Bullets comfort section, Juggler method, Mystery Method’s comfort stuff (pretty much the same as Magic Bullets)) and work on it until you get to the point where SHE is demanding you take her number or she’s demanding YOUR number. Either outcome is acceptable. She still might flake because for all you know she gets home and her parents are dead, you can’t control that lol but when you get to the point where girls insist that you contact them, you’re going to have way less flakes.

            Once you can do that, then you can go back to asking for their number, but applying your new skill-set to the interaction. How do I know this works? Because I did it, and so did a bunch of other PUAs. It’s one of our training tools.

            …what, did you think this was going to be EASY? ;) lol


        • YaReally
          on January 29, 2013 at 8:28 pm
          Original Link

          I see you’re new to the Internet.

          In the URL I linked, the “#comment-405683″ at the end links to a specific relevant-to-your-problem comment within the comment section of that article, as opposed to simply linking to the article the URL is based on.

          As a result, when you click that link instead of just reading the URL and dismissing it outright like a lazy fuck, you’ll find a comment by me that breaks down exactly why you’re getting flakes, how to fix it, and how to avoid that in the first place, with nothing about the seven questions the article itself is about. :)

          In other words: click the fuckin link lol


        • yeahokcool
          on January 29, 2013 at 8:29 pm
          Original Link

          sorry to say, bro, but you’re entirely too defensive to people who trying to help you. if your shit was working, in all likelihood, you wouldn’t be in here whining, no? so you need to start over with the way you’re looking at all this.

          the simple truth is that you need to get your mind right before you’re going to be successful in this game. this isn’t just about pulling the right levers and pushing buttons in the correct order. an aloof, outcome independent master of the universe doesn’t act this way on a message board and he doesn’t act this way on the mean streets.

          if this is your normal response mechanism, you’re probably putting out a similar vibe in your pickups and overall interactions with others (girls are a subset of this). in short, FUCK THAT SHIT.

          now, go read what yareally wrote in that threat he linked to and you will see that he directly addresses your concern. internalize what he suggests and then try it on for size.


          • YaReally
            on January 31, 2013 at 5:46 am
            Original Link

            @Falconer

            All good man, we all went through that stage. :) Hang in there, look at this as something that could take a few years of investment to get a handle on. You’re like a 300lbs dude hitting the gym once or twice a week…it’s gonna take some time before you’re down to a normal weight.

            Slow & steady. Learn to emotionally detach yourself from your results and analyze where you’re fucking up like an athlete watching footage of himself to figure out his sticking points and what to work on and taking advice from trainers on how to improve.

            Don’t let the reactions of girls determine your worth as a human being, they’re just silly girls. :)


  • immoralgables
    on January 29, 2013 at 3:18 pm
    Original Link

    Hey man I think your text game might be fucked up. Understand that going from a makeout on a Friday to being propositioned to meetup for drinks on a tuesday is like trying to merge onto the highway while still in first gear. Spike her buying temp, develop some rapport and suavely shift gears into meeting up. I went thru a similar stumbling block a few months ago and Ripp, YaReally and a couple others helped me see the limitations in my strategy, which is very similar to yours. I made a compilation of the next texting advice into a word doc which you can download at the link below. Read that and the embedded PDF and then tell me if you didn’t learn anything. Best of luck my man.

    http://www.mediafire.com/view/?ou36b9mx5d44h31


    • Falconer
      on January 29, 2013 at 3:51 pm
      Original Link

      I get conflicting advice on the text thing. I guess I thought I had fostered enough of a connection at the bar to be more aggressive and direct with my text approach.
      Could be I need to spend more time “warming her up”, but I don’t want to fall into the trap of womanly texting games.


      • immoralgables
        on January 29, 2013 at 4:16 pm
        Original Link

        I completely understand. Please read the resources I linked you too though.

        A lot of newbs think that engaging in women’s texting games is the antithesis of alpha and only to text in order to make plans.

        I get that line of thought.

        Expanding my competency with texting since October has helped me tremendously and I no longer feel like there isn’t a situation I can’t handle.

        Confirm with me that you read those and I’ll link you to various one-liners I compiled to help you initiate, respond to shit tests, warm up a girl that has gone cold, things to text the first night you meet her and how to invite her out.

        Mind you, I put hours into that document and string of one-liners but if you want to learn via trial and error and flakey numbers then go right ahead.


        • Falconer
          on January 29, 2013 at 4:30 pm
          Original Link

          Ok man, I’ll check out the document you linked. Thanks for taking the time to help me out.


          • YaReally
            on January 29, 2013 at 9:12 pm
            Original Link

            @Falconer

            Yup. You’re starting over from 0 most of the time when you txt after the first meet so you have to build comfort/rapport and get her in state again. Even when you meet up, often she’ll be cold/nervous/reserved and you’ll have to start over AGAIN to get her back in state.

            The positive way to look at it is that ya, you have to start over and that sucks, but 1) you’ve done it once before already so it’ll be easier this time, and 2) THIS time you already KNOW she’s attracted to you VS the first meet where you had to build that, so you’re going into a poker game knowing the other guys’ cards. All you have to do this time is unlock her a bit and let it happen, the flame is already burning you just have to throw some wood (lol) on it.


  • Zombie Shane
    on January 29, 2013 at 6:17 pm
    Original Link

    Then I get her outside for a smoke, number close, kiss close, I’m on my way.

    Everything that 60 & Heartiste were writing about in the main piece – and now what you’ve said here – seemed to indicate that you guys were talking about a bar/nightclub/disco/dancehall scene, wherein you were trying to make your moves on these chicks.

    [I make my moves on chicks in normal life, but that's a topic for another day...]

    Anyway, for my entire life – going back to freaking Junior Dadgum Highschool – I have never been at a party or a club or a bar where the freaking music was being played at less than 110dB – and you and she would have to have been freaking lip readers in order to have “heard” anything that was being said.

    Seriously – how in Hades do you guys carry on “conversations” in these environments?

    Heck, it’s getting to where you can’t even talk to chicks at wedding receptions anymore, because some freaking cover band thinks that they have to jack it up like Def Leppard in order to play an idiotic sappy-assed Whitney Houston tune.

    Even if you SCREAM AT THE BEEYOTCH, and she SCREAMS RIGHT BACK AT YOU, it would be damned near impossible to understand what was being said.

    Just curious…

    [But, like I said above, I make my moves on chicks in normal life, where you can actually carry on a civil conversation, and be witty and clever and sexy and maybe even a little dark and dangerous, so that it makes an actual difference what you have to say...]


    • YaReally
      on January 29, 2013 at 9:08 pm
      Original Link

      Don’t get elitist, it’s just a different skill-set. Don’t worry about it if what you’re doing works for you and you’re happy with that, but understand that the club environment’s obstacles can be overcome and you can gain certain reference experiences gaming there that you generally don’t in different venues.

      (and yes, I’ve done day game and I know what you’re talking about, but I personally prefer night game despite the challenge…or rather because of the challenge lol)


      • Zombie Shane
        on January 30, 2013 at 10:49 am
        Original Link

        Don’t worry about it if what you’re doing works for you and you’re happy with that, but understand that the club environment’s obstacles can be overcome and you can gain certain reference experiences gaming there that you generally don’t in different venues.

        I’m not dissing “night” game – I’m just wondering [and have always wondered, going back to freaking Junior Dadgum Highschool] how it can even exist in the first place.

        I honestly don’t know how you “talk” to a chick if you’re in some establishment with a liquor license and a dance floor and a sound system which is blaring hip hop noise at 110dB.

        I understand the idea of a meat market, and I understand body language, and I understand raw, visceral [almost innate] sexual attraction, but there’s supposed to be an intellectual aspect of game [where you prove what a clever, cunning and devious conversationalist you are] which simply cannot exist in that environment [unless, like I said, both you and she are lip-readers].

        Look, if you can score hot chicks with nothing more than the puppy dog eyes and the ass-rubbing and the hair-pulling and the gimmicky clothes/hairstyles/tattoos/whatever, then more power to you.

        But I don’t know that I’d call it “game”.

        [Cue the empiricists: It doesn't matter what you want to be called "game", all that matters is whether it works! Blah blah blah...]


        • YaReally
          on January 31, 2013 at 5:41 am
          Original Link

          You’re letting the club overwhelm you. Think outside the box you’re in. Tyler made a similar post as you back before The Game, where he was frustrated by nightclubs and hated them and was like “how the fuck am I supposed to talk in these places???” but now it’s almost exclusively where he games.

          Some tips because I do primarily nightclub game (also bars, pubs and lounges but I like nightclubs the most because the girls dress the hottest there):

          1) Lead her to a quieter part of the club to talk. There’s always a quieter part of the club where people can chill, whether its just away from the dance floor or in a back or upstairs/downstairs room, or a patio.

          2) Listen to the music they play in clubs during the day when you’re listening to tunes at work. When you know the songs, your brain tunes them out more at the bar and they aren’t as in-your-face as when you’ve never hear them before. Plus then you get to know what the loud and quiet parts of the songs are so you don’t get cut off mid-sentence.

          3) Learn to project your voice, speaking from the diaphragm. Google advice for singers on this, you can project your voice a lot louder than you think you can, without shouting, but it takes some practice.

          4) Learn to read lips a bit, either by spending a lot of time having conversations in loud enviros or watching TV on a low volume or mute.

          5) Avoid live-music venues, like pubs and clubs with bands, because they turn the music up retardedly high. But don’t let your brain convince you that all night venues are like that, MOST nightclubs are only loud on the dance floor, but the other 80%+ of the club is fine, but if you’re not a fan of nightclubs your brain will extrapolate a few bad dance floor and live music venue experiences as representative of all night venues.

          6) Go out to these places a lot and you’ll get used to the chaos and music and it won’t overwhelm you.

          7) I go to a ton of different venues and the nightclubs that are legit impossible to talk/hear in aren’t that common. There’s maybe 1 or 2 max in most cities. I just don’t go to those venues (unless I want to work on pure physical game). But even in those venues, nightclubs tend to be large enough that there’s some part of it you can lead a girl to, to talk and be all intellectual. It would be bad for business for a nightclub to be designed with no cooling down quieter areas for all the people who get dragged there by friends for bday and as designated drivers and prople with sensitive hearing and for girls to yap to eachother about stupid shit etc. If you haven’t been to nightclubs much, you probably won’t even notice these areas because your brain is overwhelmed by stimulus and stereotyping the place. Next time you’re at a club, make a conscious effort to walk around it and find where the quieter areas are, and take note of where the speakers are and what direction they’re facing etc. You’ll be surprised, it’s very rare to find a club where there’s legit nowhere quieter that you can have a conversation in.

          Really the live-music pubs are the toughest venues in my opinion. I long for a day when I see a live band who’s instruments aren’t so jacked up in volume that my ears ring and I can’t even hear the singer’s lyrics lol



Stuki
on January 29, 2013 at 3:13 pm
Original Link

Perhaps a silly triviality, but unless your vision is 20/20, get lenses, glasses or lazik. Blurred vision puts you at a distinct disadvantage wrt both eye contact game and the ability to discern approach-or-not within 3 seconds.


  • YaReally
    on January 29, 2013 at 6:34 pm
    Original Link

    I actually found glasses fucked my shit up, with both girls and guys (like getting a bartender’s attention) at the bar, because there were suddenly a bunch of angles where I couldn’t make eye-contact with people or where they couldn’t make it with me or in general read my thoughts/sub-communications via my eyes because the frames got in the way. The glasses basically forced me to look straight on at everyone at all times like its my first trip to Times Square and I’m fascinated by everything and everyone lol no room for subtle corner-of-the-eye side glances and opening with “why are you doing something crazy?” bemused glances and lingering eye-contact as I turn my head away like our connection is so powerful I can’t tear my eyes away, etc. All I’d have is a little tunnel of vision right in front of me.

    I was actually REALLY surprised by how much of a difference it made. You can learn to work around it once you understand the disadvantage it’s giving you (so if you’re stuck with glasses, don’t stress it too much, I know a few guys with glasses who do just fine), but I had been considering LASIK for a while, and going out with glasses for a few months and noticing how much less “social power” I was wielding around without eye-contact was the tipping point for me. Got LASIK and it was the best $5k spent in my life!


    • avd
      on January 30, 2013 at 12:29 am
      Original Link

      Random comment: Recently hung out with my old wing for a weekend. He got Lasik some years ago, initially praising the results. However, he told me that the Lasik has been deteriorating, which the docs told him was normal within some percent of standard deviation. He’s back to using optics. My brother is also now considering Lasiks. Really don’t know much at all about this subject. No point to this post, other than conversation, and intentional extension of good will. Hope your Lasiks holds, Ya. My boy certainly loved his while it lasted.


      • YaReally
        on January 30, 2013 at 12:51 am
        Original Link

        Ya, you’ll still naturally deteriorate, especially if you continue to treate your eyes shitty. I work in front of a CPU all day/night and I used to play videogames in pitch dark etc. so I was doing a lot of staring at bright screens. Now I don’t play videogames much and I use a screen dimming program while I work so it’s not so harsh. I’m 5+ years in and my vision is still awesome.

        You can actually do eye exercises (cover one while you read a newspaper from just barely in focus range, then do that for the other, etc.) and strengthen your eyes naturally. I knew a guy in his 40s that did it and I thought he was bullshitting me till he started reading off license plates way in the distance that were just a blur to me till we got closer lol It’s slow and took him months or a year or some shit of daily exercises, but that’s the route I’m going to take if I notice my vision start to deteriorate now ’cause if I remember right I don’t think you can do Lasik a second time.

        Tell your buddy to do some googling on eye strengthening exercises if he really hates his glasses, maybe they’ll help him out.

        If your bro gets it done, tell him to follow the after-care therapy hardcore and err on the side of being TOO cautious. A lot of the fuck-up stories are from people who half-ass the after-care instructions and let their eyes dry out a bunch while they heal.



d. a. morn
on January 29, 2013 at 3:14 pm
Original Link

“It’s still very good, though, and 60 is a clear, insightful writer whose material would sit well on the top shelf along with other renowned game manuals.”

That’s a thought: What is the essential pick-up reading?
Is there a short list of “the best out there” with short annotations as to where they are strong and where they fall short?


  • immoralgables
    on January 29, 2013 at 3:41 pm
    Original Link

    Goddamnit motherfucker, you’re lucky I’m in a generous mood.

    Here: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/03/23/game-resources/

    Just yanking your chain. Promise to pay it forward and help other commenters in need.


    • YaReally
      on January 29, 2013 at 8:34 pm
      Original Link

      “Promise to pay it forward”

      Stealing this for when I help people and they say thanks. I usually just say “no prob” or something but I like the positive vibe of this. Never know when saying that will stick in someone’s subconscious and encourage them to help someone else when they might normally have passed on the opportunity.



PetiteOlive
on January 29, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Original Link

Backstory:
He got my number from my colleague , met him in passing when he came to our firm…below is a recap of our text conversation which began last Saturday…I have agreed to go on a date with him this Friday….

Is this a Pick-up technique/Gaming? If so what is it called?

Him: What cha doing? It’s J.H (he does not mention how he got my number)
Me: Stuff
Him:…and things?
Me: Ya (at this point I am thinking…**hope he gets the hint..not interested** but then he replies
Him: That’s hardcore
Me: lol (Was not expecting this reply and genuinely LOL’d)
Him: Causing trouble tonight?
Me: nah, just putting notes together for a hearing on Monday
Him: What did they charge you with?
Me: lol you know I am a (Profession) right? Didn’t you get my number from (Co-worker)?
Him: Maybe you are a horrible (Profession) and they are charging you with negligence
Me: lol you are funny
Him: and also hot
Me: Maybe lol
Him: Are you a shark? (Probably referencing my profession)
Me: No…more of a little fish
Him: omg you are a piranha
Me: No! lol

So we texted more and eventually talked on phone and now I have a date with him. I am not sure if this is a specific PUA/Alpha frame technique but that’s how he managed to pretty much change my emotion from “bored/uninterested” to “intrigue/tingles”.


  • YaReally
    on January 29, 2013 at 6:53 pm
    Original Link

    Ya the game technique is called “getting in your pants” lol

    Seriously though, he’s got a strong frame, he’s assuming attraction, he’s playfully teasing, roleplaying, cocky/funny, etc. dude is doing everything right in terms of seduction and pushing through your bitch-shield, and you going from indifferent to interested is completely natural. Nothing registers as directly a routine from PUA material aside from his attitude, but the “and hot” response pings my radar as PUA material (I do the same “agree and escalate” thing when I get a compliment). If I had to guess I’d say he’s read some basic PUA shit, maybe watched a little DavidD Double Your Dating, but he’s internalized it and past the awkward incongruent stage and into the “make it” part of “fake it till you make it”. Or he’s just a Natural. Either way you’ll have fun on your date.

    Some girls would go “well you know he’s gaming you so don’t go out with him!!!” but would you rather date a guy who gives up at your first unenthusiastic response because he’s so insecure about himself and just assumes a girl like you wouldn’t be into him, and mundanely asks you how your day is and details about your job instead of twisting your words around in a fun way that makes you laugh at being accused of committing crimes?

    Of course not. And that’s why Game works. Just don’t fuck him on the first date or you’ll break King A’s heart lol


    • Matthew King (King A)
      on January 30, 2013 at 5:25 pm
      Original Link

      Exactly. And don’t let him pay for your meal either, that will break YaReally’s vicarious boner. Look out for your IOI’s and IOD’s and IUD’s. Keep it light on the RMT and ICE but don’t stand in the way if he wants to escalate kino or thermo or even hydro.

      If I had to guess I’d say he’s read some basic PUA shit

      Stop guessing, one-trick pony. You think the little Canadian elves are behind every successful pick up of the last ten years. Because field reports.


      • YaReally
        on January 31, 2013 at 5:57 am
        Original Link

        lol really? You’re down to just making fun of the terminology now? Is flinging poo next? Shouting “nuh-UH!!”? I thought you considered yourself an intellectual genius, c’mon man where’s the good stuff? RAZZMATAZZ!!!

        Also PUA has spread pretty mainstream now. Probably a solid 40-60% of guys who are good with girls consciously know a few game concepts they’ve seen on shows like Keys to the VIP or via friends of friends who’ve read Game or via YouTube videos like Simple Pickup and a bunch of others. So it’s not unusual for a random lawyer to have studied a bit of game here in 2013.

        You would know all this if you went out and interacted with other human beings lol


        • Matthew King (King A)
          on January 31, 2013 at 11:57 pm
          Original Link

          You’re down to just making fun of the terminology now?

          Not at all. I’m making fun of your worship of it. I’m criticizing the relentless effort to recruit down-on-their-luck guys into a cultish way of thinking rather than encouraging them into independence, improvisation, and artistry. Show a prodigy how to jazz solo, and shitcan the sheet-music-martinet shtick.

          Pick-up happened before game. It occurs often without game. There are infinite gradations between textbook-PUA-student and natural. Getting the sexes together happens much more organically than you have allowed yourself to realize. Most guys just need a slight spinal adjustment to straighten out before instinct takes over. They don’t all need the full industry makeover. A great many men, in fact, know they should tease girls, be aloof, and act dominantly — as the future Mr. Olive demonstrated — before it was ever were turned into a Roman Numeral commandment. At the same time (since your will to misunderstand me is strong) don’t get me wrong: it’s great that the observations have been collected, collated, and codified by people like you.

          The terminology is useful in limited doses and circumstances. Indulging a little dessert or booze isn’t a bad thing. It’s the dependency and the habit and the overdoing it that requires critique.

          Anyway, you called me out by name because you wanted another public corrective. You have a healthy sense for when your bullshit starts straining credulity, except PUA Rule #282 requires you never acknowledge it. I’m cool with that, even if you can never be. Cheers, broham.

          Now “pay it forward” to Falconer above and let him know that he’s missing the entire point if he’s going to prostrate himself before another man (including your awesome self) with apologetic admissions of “coming across like a bitch.”

          Matt


          • YaReally
            on February 1, 2013 at 2:37 am
            Original Link

            So basically you’re saying a 30yo virgin should “just be yourself bro” and “you either have it or you don’t”.

            Awesome, I’m certain that will help them. In the meantime I’ll continue providing a logical, thorough, step-by-step plan that thousands of other men have used, to help them reach a specific goal.

            If I wanted to get in shape I would hire a personal trainer or ask guys who are in shape for advice. If I wanted I get rich I would study rich guys and ask for advice.

            You are a cartoon character of wannabe manly stereotypes and I can guarantee that in real life you are neither rich, in shape, or have an admirable social or romantic life. Is thrusting beta because you have to put your dick in her? lol


          • YaReally
            on February 6, 2013 at 5:26 am
            Original Link

            @Matt

            Independence is for down the road. When a kid is learning to ride a bike, you put training wheels on it and eventually take them off and let go as he rides and he’s independent from there.

            You’re either too short-sighted to understand that, or being deliberately obtuse because you get to hear yourself type more that way. Either way, you’re being silly and no one is swayed by your street-corner rambling.



Graham
on January 29, 2013 at 5:37 pm
Original Link

I think 60′s advice is generally pretty solid, especially the role model tidbit. I always frame myself in the sort of Chuck Bass mold – dangerous, dark clothes, subtle hints at drug use or risky behavior, raspy voice, etc. I suppose it helps that I come from a wealthy family and am handsome (literally, had a girl last weekend tell me – “You’re face is beautiful. Do you know that? You’re like a character from a film…”, but I do think it’s important to keep these characters in mind when acclimating one’s mindset to a new or unexperienced situation (For example, I ask myself, what would a Carver or Hemingway protagonist do?)

I guess my problem of late has been that my friends who are female, typically, high status catty girls who wear black and do coke that I’ve banged in the past, will start giving me shit for talking to other girls (usually petite, very feminine, and generally simple girls – the type who wear polka-dot dresses and play Vampire Weekend at house parties), because I “should be doing better” or that I “belong to the dark side” and will destroy that girl, etc, etc. This has actually happened to me the last three times I was picking up girls, each one of whom was ready to go home with me. I ended up bowing out to the pressure and blowing the girls off to go drugs in bathroom or something.

I’m not sure if this rooted in jealousy on my friend’s part or that because they used to sleep with me they expect higher standards from me. If anyone has any experience with this, I’d welcome the advice.

To be fair though, I’m not really that concerned, more curious than anything else. I opened a set last weekend at a house party and within 10 minutes a drunk girl blurts out, “Why aren’t you making out with the three of us right now?”

I can’t fathom how easy things will be when I’m thirty.


  • YaReally
    on January 29, 2013 at 8:59 pm
    Original Link

    lol’ed at the humblebrag too. In all seriousness regarding your question tho:

    1) in life, other people will try to determine your values for you and what you’re “allowed” to do, based on their perception of you. Are you some dark bad boy who bangs vampire chicks? Stay away from those sweet girl-next-door girls! Are you some computer nerd? Don’t talk to girls or try to improve yourself just be happy playing Warcraft and dying alone! Are you a good-looking rich guy? Don’t marry the average 6 who treats you good! Are you a short guy? Don’t hit on those tall girls!

    If you want to get more in-depth, your breaking out what they consider acceptable (based on their own label of you) forces them to re-evaluate their own identities which their ego can struggle with and lash out at you for causing it. ie – a girl thinks she only sleeps with Nice Guys, then she finds out her boyfriend is banging a bunch of chicks on the side. Now her own identity has to be questioned because she slept with a Player, but her identity is that she only sleeps with Nice Guys. So either she has to accept that her identity must be wrong which opens a floodgate of questions and self-doubts (do I like Players despite other women telling me not to? am I a bad judge of character when I thought I was good? were my other BFs Players and I’m just stupid? I always believed Players only sleep with sluts so if he’s a Player am I a slut?), and she’ll often brainwash herself with cognitive dissonance and hamster-spinning to avoid having to answer all those questions and re-evaluate herself and her identity because most people, women especially, are completely self-unaware and are encouraged not to really know themselves or dig deep…or she’ll have to shame, insult, threaten, embarrass, etc you into behaving in the manner she expects you to so that her Identity can remain in-tact.

    So your previous girls are subconsciously thinking “but I would never sleep with a guy who’d fuck THAT type of girl, so he can’t fuck them, I will try to deter him from it so that the formula of “I only bang guys of this type” isn’t fucked with”. If their frame is stronger, or you’re henpecked by a bunch of them at once so their combined frame is stronger, you’ll pass on the polka-dot girl and go do drugs in the bathroom. Don’t feel bad, you’re young so your frame isn’t solid yet and girls (especially hot ones) develop extremely strong frames and are able to steamroll over most men.

    At the end of the day the key is to be rock solid in your beliefs, actions, etc. instead of letting them away you. You are the oak tree and they’re the skittering little squirrels, you should be unaffected by their opinions because your validation of your actions and desires should come from inside and following your core Freudian Id, not from externally pinging off others to determine “is what I’m doing okay?”

    A good scene I like to refer to in Californication is at the 4:20 mark in this clip:

    When she asks why and the guy is just like “because the words left my mouth.” That’s the only justification you need for going after the girls you want. You don’t have to qualify your decisions to anyone, especially other girls.

    2) The main difference between now and your 30s is that now your frame is weak and you still do stuff you don’t really want to do because you cave to badgering and social pressure and external validation. By your 30s you’ll have enough life experience that your frame will be unshakeable. And yes, you’ll get laid like a motherfucker then lol

    Till then, don’t be a fool, wrap yer tool.



YaReally
on January 29, 2013 at 6:10 pm
Original Link

I got a glorious man-boner over how dead-on perfect a summary this bit is:

“Core psychological difference between alpha and beta males:

Alphas pursue hot, dirty sex, and accept that relationships could be a consequence of a successful pursuit.

Betas pursue loving, affectionate relationships, and accept that sex could be a part of a successful pursuit.”

I’m stealing that definition for when I have to explain this shit to Beta friends. It’s absolutely perfect and describes my Beta and Alpha buddies mentalities toward women and seduction totally accurately. The Alphas are thinking “How can I get in her pants without having to do that gay relationship shit?” and the Betas are thinking “I guess if I have to have sex with her I will but I’d really just be happy cuddling with her and holding hands while we walk a puppy-dog” and it affects all their sub-communications when they’re interacting with women.

60 appeared on the scene relatively recently (compared to the old school guys) so I don’t know much about his method except that he gets referenced a lot in some PUA circles so it’s probably solid shit.

Will read and comment on the rest of this article later, was just skimming and that bit popped out and I wanted to suck CH’s cock quick lol



Scray
on January 29, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Original Link

Hey Heartiste, what materials out there do you recommend that talk about creating attraction?

I feel like, because I’m starting at such a disadvantage when I meet any woman, I need to really have the tightest game in that area.


  • immoralgables
    on January 30, 2013 at 12:04 am
    Original Link

    I have a challenge for you scray dog. The quote below is from YR. Read the PDF that is linked but just read 10 pages a day. Skip the Ross Jeffries and the part about the cube.

    If you do 10 pages a day for 90 days you should be good assuming you’re going out. If you want more pertinent material to your question (although MM collabo is solid) then read the archives here at the heartiste.

    “YaReally
    Ya, RSD’s video articles are great, specifically Tyler’s. Watch his whole archive of videos for a bunch of great stuff. His work is pretty much head of the pack in terms of progressing pickup as an art-form.

    Same time though, I got into the community in the old-school heavy tactics days and I think having a grounding in the old-school stuff underneath all the new “be shapeless like water” stuff helps a lot. Mystery Method was solid gold, but it’s a looooong read/watch. If you can handle that, great, but if not then I’d recommend LoveSystem’s “Magic Bullets” which is like a really condensed “only the important stuff” version of MM.

    Paul Janka’s “How to get laid in New York” is a good read (free PDF file) just to get a different perspective (he’s a natural and he does day-game in a really busy fast-paced city, he has some interesting takes on how he games).

    If you Google you can find “The Tyler Digest”, but I’d actually recommend this one instead or as well:

    http://www.dallaspua.com/files/mystery_method_collaboration_11.08.06.pdf (READ THIS SCRAY)

    David DeAngelo’s ‘77 Laws of Success with Women and Dating’ is
    It’s got a bunch of old-school writing from the top guys.

    That’s enough to get you laid like crazy if you go out and practice and apply it lol The only messageboards I can recommend are sedfast (fasterseduction) and LoveSystems’ board. The RSD boards are too full of retarded kids who are getting thrown out of bars, and other boards are too full of pussy “don juans” who don’t get laid.

    Good luck. ” -YR


    • Scray
      on January 30, 2013 at 3:22 pm
      Original Link

      On it, thanks


      • YaReally
        on January 31, 2013 at 5:50 am
        Original Link

        You keep dropping Field Reports on here, and I’ll keep breaking them down for ya.



walawala
on January 29, 2013 at 9:38 pm
Original Link

Two girls I banged last year, i did simply by having the confidence to go and talk to them.

I ran cocky-funny until I’d sparked attraction. Then moved into comfort.

In both cases these girls would subtly and overtly tell me how they wanted me to fuck them.

If I was too cocky-funny, they’d make it clear they were into me, I was alpha enough but they wanted to see a more vulnerable side.

In the case of a second girl, I had a text exchange that went like this:

Her: I don’t know what you think or believe.

Me: I’m a man, you’re a woman, I believe in the present, too many people live either in the past or the future. Too many guys hide their sexual desires and that leads to confusion by the girl. I’m not like that.

Her: So you want me as a toy? (shit test)

Me: no, as a woman.

The rest was text book comfort….


  • immoralgables
    on January 30, 2013 at 12:39 am
    Original Link

    Lol walawala I really like your too many guys hide their desires routine.

    On a day 2 with this Asian 7 and I say “yeah, too many guys in NYC don’t make her intentions clear when they’re dating”

    Her: “oh yeah IG, what are YOUR intentions then”

    My brain: “Fuck IG, think think think. Don’t back peddle, don’t supplicate, pass this shit test”

    ME (with a smirk): well, the second mistake guys make is that they show their cards too early.

    Her brain: SWOOOOOON

    Your routine is solid because it sets you apart from the chodes she hates dating and it’s exhibiting the sexual frame thing going on. It also indicates that you just “get it” as Rollo says and beyond that, cute girls can tell when a guy is agreeing and trying to fly under the radar via the nice guy express to get in their pants. To a large extent, they spot it a mile away and sniff it out and don’t let you get past the vaginal gates when you nod your head and agree all the time.


    • YaReally
      on January 30, 2013 at 1:13 am
      Original Link

      “Her: So you want me as a toy? (shit test)”

      “Her: “oh yeah IG, what are YOUR intentions then””

      Notice that with both of your experiences, the pattern was consistent:
      1) Define yourself as different from other men
      2) Make a Statement of Intent (or at least imply that you have more intentions than being her friend)
      3) She shit-tests you about it to see if you’re congruent
      4) You pass the shit-test by not apologizing for your desires as man or backtracking, thus being congruent, her attraction spikes through the roof, and the deal is sealed

      Step 3 is important, because if you’re full of shit, Step 3 is where she’s going to weed that out. This is where outcome independence comes in, a supplicative Beta will say whatever he thinks she wants to hear politically-correct style so as not to risk fucking it up, but a congruent guy will stick to what he meant and risk losing her…that congruence representing outcome independence is what spikes her temperature.

      @walawala
      Solid stuff. That’s calibration in action, picking up on the signals of when to introduce different parts of your personality. It’s not the same as lying or supplicating to what the girl wants, it’s just being calibrated enough to understand the optimal time to display different sides of you. It’s like knowing to wear a suit when you go to a formal event instead of your sweatpants.

      I use a lot of variations on “too many people/guys in CityName are OppositeOfMe” myself. It’s rock-solid shit and it even works with bad features, like “Ya, sorry, I say offensive shit sometimes. A lot of girls think I’m an asshole but I’ve met so many people here who are putting on this front like they just tell everyone what they think they want to hear so they’ll like them…I just try to be honest, you know? And if someone doesn’t like what I say, well that’s okay, not everyone has to like me.”

      For seduction, I use shit like “I’ve found that too many people here are embarrassed about sex, like they think it’s shameful and can’t talk about it. It’s so weird to me…sex is fun and natural, no one should be ashamed for liking it.” after I “cross the line” talking about sex with a girl I’ve only just met, to set a non-judgemental sexual frame. It tells them “ohhh this is a guy I can admit I like sex around, not like that other guy who made me feel like a slut because I admitted SexualThing” and they open right up.

      It’s part of why I can bang a girl without either of us knowing what the other does for a living or where either of us grew up or any of that boring shit lol I’m still building the necessary rapport/comfort she needs to let herself be seduced, but I’m building it through sexual topics instead of inoffensive ones. My Beta friends actually make fun of this because they’ll quiz me about a girl I slept with out of general interest and all my answers are “uhhh I dunno, I didn’t really ask.” and they can’t wrap their head around how I’m doing it.

      @immoralgables
      “Your routine is solid because it sets you apart from the chodes she hates dating and it’s exhibiting the sexual frame thing going on. It also indicates that you just “get it” as Rollo says and beyond that, cute girls can tell when a guy is agreeing and trying to fly under the radar via the nice guy express to get in their pants.”

      This, exactly.



EBook Review: 60 Years Of Challenge

Original Link

via Heartiste

PJ
on January 31, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Original Link

I have a question about the name thing. In this article you talk about how you don’t want to give the girl your name and it’s better the longer you hold off giving it to her, or her asking for it.

In Bang, Roosh says that the longer the girl is going without asking information about you (he specifically mentions the name thing here), likely the worse your pickup attempt is going.

Which is it? Anybody w/ an answer is appreciated.

[Heartiste: There is no contradiction here. You want a girl to ask you questions, and you want to hold off on revealing info about yourself. The two work in conjunction. If you have attracted a girl enough that she is asking your name, you may reveal it at your discretion. But not before.]


  • YaReally
    on February 1, 2013 at 3:06 am
    Original Link

    ya, what CH said.

    I went thru a phase where I decided to start introducing myself as part of my opener. It was just because I was gaming in a very polite/reserved/cliquish sort of scene and I fell into the trap of behaving like everyone else (“hypnotized by the environment” in RSD terms).

    But I snuffed the habit out eventually when I realized I was throwing away a perfectly good ioi chance, to gauge her interest. If I skip the formal introductions and just start gaming, now when there’s a pause in the conversation, if she doesn’t ask my name, I have work to do, if she does, she’s interested and I can escalate.

    It’s like a free bonus signal, don’t throw it away. If I tell her my name, she might still like me just as much, but I don’t get that free ioi to let me know it. This is why I can turn around really aggressive bitchy girls that seem to hate me…”Fuck you, you’re an asshole, who the fuck ARE you anyway?” sounds like she hates me but I ignore the angry stuff and focus on the fact that she unconsciously dropped an ioi in there so that tells me there’s attraction I can work with and I’m undeterred much to the surprise of the people around us. :)

    Now if I do end up getting stuck in formal introductions with a cute chick, I’ll shake her hand and lock eye-contact, then relax my hand but not outright let go, like I’m just holding her hand in mine. If she pulls away, I have work to do, if she leaves it there, I can escalate (usually I’ll just keep our eye-contact locked and tease her about not giving my hand back, then as she laughs I’ll tug slightly on her hand, pulling her into me as I place her hands around my neck and I put mine on her waist and resume our conversation face to face and build sexual tension by being in her personal space and kino’ing eachother).

    Old school Mystery Method recommends 3 iois = you can probably kiss her. Asking your name is one of those iois.



The Choice of Attraction

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on January 28th, 2013 at 6:28 pm
Original Link

“They claim that whether a girl is into you or not is largely out of your control ( D’ Angelo).”

Jesus. This shit is why I put SoSuave at the bottom of the list when I recommend places to learn pickup, it’s like they’re actively trying to fuck up learning game. That’s not at ALL what D’Angelo means when he says “attraction is not a choice”. He’s saying women don’t choose to be attracted to a guy, that’s why listing your logical reasons for being a good match for her doesn’t get her wet. And that pushing the right buttons gets her attracted even if she hates you or hates that she’s attracted to you.

Just skimmed and saw that and had to shit on it, but skimming some more before hitting Send it looks like Rollo killed it with this article himself thankfully! Don’t have time to read the rest of the article in-depth right now but it looks like a gooder so ill be back with compliments and high-fives for Rollo’s solid breakdown later.


Why Ask Why? Shun The Stale Seven Questions

Original Link

via Heartiste

Days of Broken Arrows
on January 23, 2013 at 6:59 pm
Original Link

This is really good advice. And it works.

Back in my natural Alpha days (17-21), I would deliberately engage women in absurdist convos just to mess with them. I got the rep as a bit weird (NOT “creepy” weird, because I was always with beautiful women and cute myself), but they didn’t forget me and knew who I was around the dorms.

I’d start talking to women I didn’t know in the college dining hall about whether an ice cream sandwich counted as a meal. No? What about cereal? It has all the vitamins! Love those Golden Grahams. And what’s with Wilford Brimley and oatmeal?

People would be surprised at how this can be stretched into a long surreal dialogue with massive sexual tension and subtext. This can even start in one place and pick up the next week at a party, with the two people never knowing each other’s names. It’s much better than “what’s your major?” Bleh.


  • Kate
    on January 23, 2013 at 7:12 pm
    Original Link

    Cereal is always a good banter topic :) The last time I was on match was two years ago. I was not using a picture, but I mailed back and forth with this guy about what aisle granola was in as a riff on my headline that said I was looking for a man who would dance in the grocery store. Just recently he popped up in my matches and I messaged him to see if he’d found it yet. TWO YEARS LATER he still remembered the conversation (even though he’d never seen my face) as well as the fact that there was a bet involved. If I was correct about what aisle the granola was in he had to help me replace lightbulbs and if he was right I was supposed to paint his garage. Well, after two years the mystery concluded. I lost the bet but he FINALLY asked for my number.


    • Matthew King (King A)
      on January 23, 2013 at 7:42 pm
      Original Link

      Cereal is always a good banter topic.

      Cutesy-wootsy. Maybe it works for silly girls, but groaners aren’t worth it. You don’t want to be the fairy guy who talks like he’s addressing children.


      • immoralgables
        on January 23, 2013 at 9:00 pm
        Original Link

        Lol Matt how does it feel to be banned from Alpha Game Plan

        Screw the seven questions, I could see you plying girls with your bombastic quips and long-winded banter from your ivory tower.

        Now preach, my boy!


        • YaReally
          on January 24, 2013 at 8:58 am
          Original Link
        • Matthew King (King A)
          on January 24, 2013 at 11:00 am
          Original Link

          Hi, stalker. Thanks for the update. It’s not the first place I’ve been banned from for refusing to eat shit from a guy like you but with a blog. It is however the first time I got a whole dedicated post about why he felt it necessary to ban me. I’d be proud if he were a respectable thinker, but let’s face it, he’s a sci-fi dork who proclaims himself an expert on all things, including “socio-sexual hierarchies” and game.

          It was a decent site in concept: he originally had co-bloggers (including Susan Walsh from “Hooking Up Smart,” a site for girls) contributing, which should have been lively. but it quickly devolved into his solitary, anodyne pontifications and spaz wars with other sci-fi writers, a fantasy author fantasizing to himself about his own manliness. He contributes little to the broad conversation. I would drop in occasionally to tweak him, rile up his audience of inexplicable admirers, and leave. You would fit right in among them, sniping and snarking and nipping at the heels of better men.

          Quietly shunting aside a problem-commenter or moderating him heavily is the more prudent way to go. This tool is so unaware of his own powerlessness that not only did I force him to take the most extreme measure — his only option, being unable to neutralize with rhetoric, deleting the entries and commenters he has no answer to — but he then goes on to make a big fuss about how awesome he is for having done so, to the applause of his toadies.

          See, if unreconstructed nerds like Vox Day are looked to as leaders for a renaissance of manhood, you all are fucked.

          Matt


          • YaReally
            on January 24, 2013 at 10:03 pm
            Original Link

            From that guy: “Notice here three of the distinguishing features of a rabbit. He simply can’t imagine that everything isn’t about him.”

            King A: “not only did I force him to take the most extreme measure”

            From that guy: “More importantly he can’t imagine someone taking an action that isn’t rooted in how it will look to others.”

            King A: “he then goes on to make a big fuss about how awesome he is for having done so, to the applause of his toadies.”

            From that guy: “And while his words superficially appear to make sense, they are fundamentally nonsensical”

            King A: (pretty much 90% of every one of his comments)

            lol’ed.


    • YaReally
      on January 23, 2013 at 9:14 pm
      Original Link

      “I would deliberately engage women in absurdist convos just to mess with them.”

      This works (I do it too, I like to use sexual topics too) because you’re self-amusing. When you talk about cereal it’s not because you think that’s a “good banter topic”, it’s because you’re fucking around entertaining yourself and that sub-communication is what’s attractive to them, whether you’re talking about cereal, the Kardashians, rocket science, World of Warcraft, etc.

      Kate’s comment of it being a good banter topic is a good example of missing the sub-communication. She’s committing the same error of logic that newbies to pickup commit, where she places the power on the words and topic themselves instead of on the sub-communications. To her she comes out of the interaction thinking cereal is a good banter topic when in reality she isn’t aware that she was responding to the sub-communication of her interaction.


      • Scray
        on January 23, 2013 at 9:25 pm
        Original Link
        • YaReally
          on January 25, 2013 at 1:14 am
          Original Link

          Wrote a few replies and a long-ass FR analysis for ya, the FR is in moderation so check for it before you head out Friday night. Main things incase it don’t show up are qualify the chick in your “I love you” routines (make her qualify, let her pass, then love her for passing), and drop in some sexual stuff like in my previous FR analysis.

          Good luck!


      • Scray
        on January 23, 2013 at 9:29 pm
        Original Link

        Dropped a FR in the ‘portrait of modern SMP’ thread below. I think if I paste the link, wordpress will take a long time to filter it.


        • YaReally
          on January 23, 2013 at 10:10 pm
          Original Link

          Cool, I’ll check it out after I finish my work shit for the day. Check tomorrow sometime!



Blackdragon
on January 23, 2013 at 7:57 pm
Original Link

Men who ask questions like this are either hardcore betas or just guys who don’t have any real experience meeting women. Once you go on 25 first dates or so, even complete numskulls learn very fast these questions get you no where.


  • YaReally
    on January 23, 2013 at 8:12 pm
    Original Link

    Holy shit, is that the actual Blackdragon? I’ve linked your writing/books on here a bunch lol. Been a fan of your posts for a long time, props!


    • Blackdragon
      on January 23, 2013 at 8:42 pm
      Original Link

      Yeah it’s me. I don’t think I’ve ever commented here but his list of questions was so quintessential I couldn’t resist.


      • YaReally
        on January 23, 2013 at 9:04 pm
        Original Link

        lol a lot of the guys here can really use your material/books (they’re an older “looking to settle” crowd compared to the young PUA types), but unfortunately most of them would never actually try to apply it because it’s all still just “theory” in their minds. Most guys here have only just recently taken the pill coming from monogamous relationships, vs coming from a pickup mindset of abundance where your stuff gels nicely with experience.

        For those who don’t know him Blackdragon is one of the top dogs on relationship game and managing mLTRs, Nexting shitty behavior, setting solid relationship frames from the start, etc. Can’t recommend his posts/articles/etc enough. Do some Googling, especially if you have trouble with falling into betaization once you get into relationships.


      • Sidewinder
        on January 24, 2013 at 11:47 am
        Original Link

        I would really be interested in reading your stuff. I’m a mid-30s professional looking for quality, family-orientated girls in their mid to late 20s. I have completely lost any motivation to go to bars and pickup girls 18-22.


        • Matthew King (King A)
          on January 25, 2013 at 5:27 am
          Original Link

          no such thing lol their all sluts you need to go out and get laid bro lol

          YaReally


          • YaReally
            on January 26, 2013 at 10:28 pm
            Original Link

            Last night I banged a 30yo super-religious (Jesus paintings hanging in her room and says her prayers every night before bed no joke lol) Good Girl EE virgin (bloody cock, pain, religiousness and general inexperience on her part backed the virgin claim up) who’s only lived here a few years, telling her up front that I’m not going to date her or be her boyfriend and that I’m sketchy and she shouldn’t waste her virginity on a guy like me.

            She waited 30 years. Took me 4 hours from meet to lay. She was only at the bar for her friend who didn’t show up. Total cold approach. Used Direct Game.

            The guy she marries one day will think she’s a Madonna because she’s only had sex once. All it takes is creating the right circumstances (non-judgement, good emotions, etc.) and some solid Game.

            To paraphrase the Joker in The Killing Joke: “All it takes is one solid seduction to reduce the most reserved woman alive to a whore. That’s how far the Madonnas of the world are from where the whores are. Just one solid seduction.”

            But keep chasing that unicorn. Make sure you lock her in your basement so she can’t interact with any of the better men in the world for the rest of her life when you meet her. lol

            (for the record she’s a cool chick, would definitely hook up with her again but I have a feeling her extreme religiousness will make her feel guilty about the whole thing (ASD trigger) so I probably won’t hear from her again)


          • YaReally
            on January 28, 2013 at 12:57 am
            Original Link

            “In other words you found the “unicorn” that you claim doesn’t exist?”

            So you’re saying a woman who sleeps with a guy from a bar she’s just met a few hours ago isn’t a whore? I really wish you’d be consistent with your definitions. Maybe you can draw up a chart of specific what actions in what timeframe constitute a Madonna and a whore, thanks.

            “It makes sense only if she’s a whale.”

            It absolutely would only make sense that way from your computer chair in your basement where you never go out and don’t pick up girls.

            “Or do you expect us to believe your game is so much tighter than every man she ever met before from age 16-30, that only you could solve her riddle, and in four hours flat?”

            I didn’t ask for details on why she hasn’t settled down yet. It sounds like she had to move around a lot.

            “The only way you could be telling the truth would be if she were fat and foul and hit the wall hard.”

            lol nah, she was cute. About a 7. I normally try to shoot for better, but it was a slow night at the bar so there wasn’t much to choose from.

            “So either you just made it all up, or you have exaggerated her SMV.”

            Ya, all the RSD guy’s in-field videos are full of guys who don’t get laid claiming the girls are all paid actresses, hammered, 2/10 Would Not Bangs, etc. It’s really hard to wrap your head around how possible this all is when you spend your Fri/Sat nights typing furiously on the Internet instead of going out and socializing and gaming girls.

            “No fucking shit hypergamous women lapse all the time, purity rings notwithstanding.”

            So how many lapses does a Madonna need before she becomes a whore? Gimme like, a specific amount here. Because the Good Girl unicorn you wife is just as far away from one of those “lapses” as any other woman. And that’s my point, that women aren’t cut from different cloths, they all have both sides to them, if you can create a situation where they’re comfortable bringing it out.

            “Dollar Store Lothario”

            I do buy candles from the dollar store. You have scathed me verily to my core with your words.

            “We are the advocates of forcefully protecting them so that they don’t squander their greatest asset on a clueless putz like you after one too many cosmos.”

            Yes, that’s why I recommended you lock your unicorn in a basement so it can’t interact with any of the better men in the world for the rest of her life. Because you are attempting to control her Hypergamy instead of simply learning to be the highest-value man her Hypergamy could choose.

            “You are the fantasist who imagines the very idea impossible, despite 10,000 years of human cultural history of which you are proudly unaware.”

            Oh it’s totally possible. As long as you lock her in a basement and ensure that she never meets another man who’s higher value than you…which, quite frankly by your posts in general and the amount of respect nobody really has for you as a role-model, is pretty much every other guy out there…especially a clueless putz like me. :)


          • YaReally
            on January 28, 2013 at 1:17 am
            Original Link

            “There are several quality “mid-to-late 20s” girls who read and comment here”

            I don’t think they’re going to fly to your parent’s basement and sleep with you dude, you can stop trying to woo the girls in the comment section lol

            “to even acknowledge Sidewinder’s interest as legitimate, much less offer practical advice.”

            We just don’t want him to waste his time holding out for a unicorn when he could be going out and meeting real live women and basing his personal goals for his love life on actual reality and experience with a variety of women instead of listening to overblown Internet bullies like yourself telling him to just keep on keepin’ on chasing the unicorn with hand-lotion and tissues on his nightstand.

            “Pages and pages of impenetrable “field report” dissection”

            Pages and pages…and pages. And pages. And pages. And PAGES. lol 10+ YEARS worth of thousands of PUAs reporting in-field experience. Even if some of them are made up or exaggerated, when you look at the overall data you can see consistent patterns and weed out most of the bullshit.

            What are you offering? Your opinion? Based on, what, your bitter angry view of the world? lol

            “There’s a reason why quality women don’t react to their level of overblown bravado”

            2/10 WOULD NOT BANG!!111 GAEM ONLY WORKS ON DRUNK BAR SLUTTZZ U CANT GET REAL GIRLS IN TEH DAY OR SOBER!! That wouldn’t work on Janice at the office, she’s special!!11

            Which of us is acting like a woman again? All your arguments against game are the same shit the Jezebelians say.

            “Top quality marriagable women sniff out the warlock razzmatazz”

            lol I am certain the top quality marriagable women are waiting for a guy who says razzmatazz.

            “if they’re drunk or horny enough”

            I like gaming sober girls more than drunk, drunk ones don’t get all my clever innuendo and wit and are just annoying in general. Picking up a sober girl is much more fun. You’re still just using the “GAME ONLY WORKS ON DRUNK BAR SLUTS” angle.

            The “horny enough” part I’ll agree with. My skills at game and triggering their emotions and escalating are what make them horny enough. That’s called seduction.

            “But who are these women really after? What type of man will they drop everything for, forget relationships for, do anything for?”

            Gotta’ be that razzmatazz guy. It certainly wouldn’t be the guy who attracts them, keeps them wet and thinking about him 24/7, gives them the full range of emotional rollercoaster they normally have to seek out through soap operas and 50 Shades of Grey, is a fantastic lay, has a bunch of friends in various high-value social circles, and is desired by other women.

            No, eww, she would never want a guy like that long-term. Bring on the razzmatazz man typing away furiously at his keyboard!

            “not just attracting but controlling top quality women.”

            lol we have a bunch of that shit. There are PUA forums based around relationship dynamics, that all gel with the stuff Rollo talks about. But you probably think Rollo is full of shit too, I’m sure.

            “The rest of us know it is no big feat to temporarily stun a woman, date rape her, and slink away before a third-rate mimic’s true worth can be scrutinized by women who will find them lacking, and faintly pathetic.”

            oooo, you’re jumping right into Jezzie territory now hey? Are you practicing to be a writer for them? I hope my GF of 2+ years doesn’t come out of her temporary stun anytime soon or I’m toast!!!

            I think the important question to come from all of this is: When can we read your first Jezebel article? Please be sure to link it to us. Hugo will love your company!


          • YaReally
            on January 28, 2013 at 5:16 pm
            Original Link

            lol I DID take a pic of all the Jesus stuff in her room to show my buddies because it was funny to me (I’m not religious at all). Probably should’ve snapped a pic of my dick with hymen blood on it and made her pose for another pic with jizz on her face to appease the Keyboard Jockey virgin “calling me out” on an Internet comment section, jeeze why didn’t I think of it at the time??

            My point is that she was only a unicorn because of circumstance (ie – not meeting a guy who pushed her buttons enough to get her to put out) and not because she’s any different than any other girl. If she had met me at 20 she would’ve put out just the same as now. All you have to do is watch 99% of guys and their sad “game” to get how beta and prone to anti-gaming most guys are. I didn’t ask for details on her life story because I didn’t need to to get the lay and I’ve met enough girls and heard enough of their life stories that they’re not that fascinating to me anymore.

            If you would just leave your CPU room and talk to some girls you’d learn that nothing I say has to be exaggerated because this really isn’t that “out there” if you’re a cool social guy with some sharp Game. You’re exactly like Aunt Sue and the Jezzie crew who don’t go out and pick up women but proclaim with absolute certainty that they know what they’re talking about and just try to bully everyone into believing they’re an authority.

            That’s right, you are an Internet bully. :) And I’m sure it was fun and you probably felt like you had some kind of authoritative respect back when no one in the comments had enough real-world experience to point out that you’re full of shit. So I understand that the pain of looking around and wondering why people don’t take you seriously anymore is probably tough to deal with. Maybe you should take a break from the Internet for a while? Go outside, make some new real-life friends. Talk to a girl.

            Like literally this is our conversation:

            Me: “the sky is blue.”

            You: “INFIDEL!! Don’t think you can pull the wool over these men’s eyes with your charlatan lies!! The sky is green!!”

            Me: “umm…I’m lookin at it right now. Pretty sure it’s blue dude. That guy over there? He’s looking at it too.”

            You: “you sound like a woman!! Any real man has experienced the green sky for himself without any of your tricks and ruses!”

            Me: “…have you ever been outside? Do you have windows in your basement there? You should step outside and just see for yourself. Or you can just like, look out a window at the blue sky.”

            You: “I’ve seen the greenest skies in the world! Who are you to question me????”

            Me: “lol ok man, you do your thing. Me and these other guys will be over here looking at this blue sky like we’ve all been doing for years.”

            You: “RAZZMATAZZ!!!!”

            lol maybe getting laid would make you less uptight. You should try it, it’s fun! :)


          • YaReally
            on February 1, 2013 at 12:14 am
            Original Link

            lol yes I am absolutely concerned that you are more well-rounded, gifted, and attractive than me lol you NAILED it!!

            Just replying to update: turns out she’s bisexual. Between that and the religious stuff about P in V being a big deal, that explains why she’s a virgin at 30. She’s been licking pussy all this time lol

            We now have a deal where I’m going to teach her how to treat a cock and she’s going to teach me how to treat a pussy. Lol I love my life. Probably going to try to get a 3-some with another chick going.



YaReally
on January 23, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Original Link

When you’re advanced, you can ask these questions and it goes over well…why? Because when you’re new and ask them, you’re seeking rapport, you’re looking for commonalities and evidence that you should be together and she should let you have sex with her. When you’re advanced and ask the same questions, you’re qualifying her…you’re asking those questions to possibly disqualify her from getting to have sex with you.

For a fun experiment, try this: Take the 7 things listed and turn them into statements instead of questions.

So instead of:
1) What’s your name?
2) What do you do?
3) Where do you live?
4) Where are you from?
5) What school did you go to?
6) Where do you work?
7) How do you like it here?

It’s:
1) You look like an Amanda. No? That’s okay, I’m going to call you Amanda anyway, Amanda.

2) Let me guess, you’re studying to be a nurse…I swear every girl I meet is either a nurse or a teacher.

3) That’s weird what you just did, you must be from the south side. South side girls are fucking crazy.

4) You’re not from around here, are you.

5) You’re one of those University of YaReally girls aren’t you.

6) Oh you’re a JobName. You must work for YaReally Company.

7) You don’t look like the type of chick that would like this place. I can tell because you look at every guy that walks by like “what a douche” lol. You seem like more of a BarName type girl.

Same exact questions, but instead of asking them and seeking rapport, you’re making a statements and almost accusing or cold-reading her, in breaking rapport. Like you’re telling her with 100% certainty what she must do or where she must be from.

If you’re right on anything, she’s mind-blown by you cold-reading her dead on like that and you can tease her about being able to read her like a book and close. If you’re wrong (which you usually will be), you can later on go “You know, I completely mis-judged you when we met. I’m usually pretty good at reading people but you’re not like other girls. I’m impressed…you should give me your number and we’ll hang out sometime. You aren’t the type of girl who gives her number out to every guy who asks for it, I bet. I didn’t think so, see I can be right once in a while lol here, put your number in.” and close.

This alone will completely change your interactions. Try it this weekend. Just remember the phrase “statements, not questions”.


  • immoralgables
    on January 23, 2013 at 9:13 pm
    Original Link

    Solid man. Question for you YaReally, do you put a lot of weight on kiss-closing the same night/day you meet a girl? On one hand I feel like its important to escalate, on the other hand I could see PDA being misconstrued as beta; that or some girls freak out if things escalate too fast.

    Like, I’ll get a girls number and meet her out for a day two and kiss then, no problem. At times though I feel like I should have pushed things further during the initial meet. I’ve been on two day twos in the past two weeks; one with a girl (tall hb7)I meet at my neighbors apt party and this other girl (tiny Asian hb7) who volunteered at this workshopI lead. On both day 2s was it the first time where anything physical happened and we kissed.

    I see vids of Steve Jabba kiss closing a girl on the street in 3min and feel like fuck, I should have pushed things with the girls I initially meet sometims. But then again, I feel like with these two girls I went out with recently, a same day kiss/makeout might have scared them away. The actual going on the day 2 and getting drinks and flirting via text the whole week or so beforehand is what allowed the kiss to even take place. (Building comfort)

    Maybe it’s a calibration thing but would like to hear yours and others thoughts as to how important it is to escalate ASAP versus building comfort and letting it happen on the day 2.


    • YaReally
      on January 23, 2013 at 10:09 pm
      Original Link

      Big in-depth answer here:

      “do you put a lot of weight on kiss-closing the same night/day you meet a girl?”

      Your gut is right that there’s some kind of weird rule-set going on with that that you can’t quite place. Here’s generally how it works:

      Don’t escalate beyond a really light “romantic” quick kiss on the lips at the most (no 5 minute tongue-down makeout lol) if the logistics etc. of the situation won’t allow you to fully fuck her later in that same interaction. If you escalate too far, without being able to seal the deal, she’ll end up flaking on you. This is part of why “Flash Game” (impressing your friends by just instant-making-out with random girls) isn’t SOLID game…it works and if you can escalate right then and there to sex, you can get it (cue bathroom lays and shit), but if you can’t escalate it to sex then that girl’s ASD is going to be going off like a siren and you’re never going to see her again.

      It’s like escaping prison lol You might make it out the gate before the alarms go off, but if you can’t get over the next couple fences before the dogs chase you down, you’re going back in the slammer under maximum security and there’s no way you’re getting a second chance.

      So if you meet a girl at the bar, even if you run the entire pickup solid, if you get into a heavy makeout session with her and her friends drag her away at the end of the night, or she has work in the morning and can’t come over, or you have to babysit your drunk buddy, or any number of logistical things that can fuck up getting the lay that night happen, you can get her number but there’s a good chance you will probably never get her to meet up with you again. She might txt you, and she might agree to meet up, but she’ll flake a bunch.

      You can counter this by building a lot of comfort/rapport because it’s basically just her ASD triggering (“if I agree to meet up, it’s going to look like I’m easy and just want sex, he doesn’t know anything about me he only wants to fuck me”), or just by sheer Fool’s Mate that she thinks you’re hot or is horny when you txt her and you luck into the right place at the right time, but we try to play the percentages in our favor, not rely on luck. :)

      If you do your recon right (you screened her for logistics, right? Found out if she has to drive her friends home, where she’s staying, how long she’s in the city for, made friends with her friends to see how protective they are, etc.?), and you can tell from experience that you’re probably not going to be able to fuck her that night, build enough attraction that you COULD make out with her, even get in close, give her the laser-eyes, talk all slow and sexy, all that shit, but don’t make out with her. At the most, a romantic quick kiss, but end it first and stick to basic “couples” kino (arm around her waist etc.).

      Leaving that tension hanging in the air will help solidify her number and get her out on the Day 2 where you can escalate to the full lay (because you planned out your Day 2 to involve venue changes, an excuse to go back to your place, etc. right?). Or if you want to take it slow you can just make-out and escalate a bit on the Day 2, and then get the full lay on a Day 3 or whatever…but keep in mind each date you don’t fuck her is another notch on the “viewing this guy as an LTR/Provider instead of a casual fuck” ladder. I try to fuck them on the Day 2 (skipping the Day 2 entirely if possible by escalating quick lol) because I want to be in the casual fuck category.

      “I see vids of Steve Jabba kiss closing a girl on the street in 3min”

      It looks super cool, but it’s not solid game. If she just happens to be into him looks-wise, she’ll meet up with him and they can fuck, or if he builds some comfort/rapport via txt/phone she’ll meet up with him and they can fuck, but otherwise generally speaking, that chick would flake. Again she might txt with him, but when it comes to the actual meet-up, without more comfort or her just being into his looks, it’s not likely.

      This isn’t to bash Steve or anything, it’s good in-field footage and I’m sure he wasn’t trying to fuck her, just land a good fast makeout pickup for the camera, but overall most PUAs know that running game that way results in an uphill battle for a Day 2.

      “and feel like fuck, I should have pushed things with the girls I initially meet sometims.”

      COULD and SHOULD are two different things. :) You absolutely can escalate faster than you probably do…but if what you’re doing is working, don’t fuck with it. You’re falling ass-backwards into following the rules I mentioned…you grab their # and get physical on the Day 2, and they show up for the Day 2 partly because you didn’t get physical on the initial meet. It’s a good system, and most of my early lays came from that same method. I only escalate quickly now because I have work to do and a Primary GF I do “date stuff” with, so I’m basically in it for the Same Night Lay or nothing at all.

      If I get stuck with a number after a makeout because of logistics, I know pretty much from the start that there’s almost no point in even txting it because I’m back in prison with maximum security around me. (but I do txt it, just for practice, and if I build enough comfort/rapport I can get them to meet up again and then we fuck, but it’s WAY more work (can be weeks worth of txting depending on how high her ASD has been triggered and how frequent a txt’er she is) than I feel like investing when I can just go meet new girls next weekend)

      “The actual going on the day 2 and getting drinks and flirting via text the whole week or so beforehand is what allowed the kiss to even take place. (Building comfort)”

      People shit on Mystery’s “7 hour rule” and how complicated Mystery Method looks, and we know from experience that we can escalate to the make-out, lay, etc. WAY faster than 7 hours and we can skip over comfort/rapport etc.

      But what Mystery’s system is designed to do is to get the girl so completely attracted to you that she “craves” you. Like I can get a fast makeout and then assertively demand her number and badger her into sex plowing through resistance all alpha badass quickly, but that’s not the same as what I get when I run Mystery Method which results in the girl asking me for my number or demanding I take her number and call her and basically doing all the work for us to have sex. Like, it’s two totally different worlds.

      So he used that 7 hours and his elaborate system stages to build a shit-ton of comfort and connection with the girls to get to a point where to them, he was the most amazing thing they’d ever seen in their life and they would be insane to flake on him or miss this opportunity to be with a guy so high value. Whereas a lot of time with RSD style faster game, the girls are attracted but there’s still a lot of plowing/chasing the guy has to do to get the lay.

      Anyway, the short of it is: Keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t escalate past a quick romantic kiss on the initial meet unless you know you can go for the finish line. If you can’t get there on the initial meet, structure a Day 2 (or 3 or 4 or whatever) that allows you a clear path to the finish line, then plow full steam ahead, whether it’s the first night or a Day 10. :)


      • immoralgables
        on January 24, 2013 at 5:56 am
        Original Link

        That made a lot of sense thanks man. Apparently, I’ve been doing a lot of things that work for me.

        Reading Mystery Method and a lot of comments regarding ramping up the escalation made me feel like my game was lacking in one way or another.

        Thanks again I’ll be sure to report back here once I hit the next roadblock lol.

        Btw, each time I made out with one of the girls on the day 2 I pretended like I couldn’t believe that I had let them get so far with me.

        “Omg I don’t even kiss until the fourth date, you’re taking advantage of me.”

        “Pscch, I’m going to make you wait four months for sex I want to make sure I’m not just a piece of meat to you.”

        “Fine, you can come up to my apt for 30 minutes to see my pet fish but then you really have to go, I’m trying to save it for marriage. ”

        That type of thing.

        The reactions from both girls was incredulous. They have never heard a guy flip the script anymore. Especially the Asian, whom is convinced that every guy that hits on her only wants to fuck her because she’s Asian. Not sure if it will speed up getting the lay but turning the tables like that elicited reactions (not negative either) that I never have seen before.

        Like, who the fuck is this average looking guy screening me out and insinuating that I’m the aggressor. I’m going to run the gambit on a few more girls and report here if it speeds the seduction.

        The Asian said that she could tell I have a type A personality. Felt good because I’ve been working to rid of the AFC for the past year.

        The tall HB7 said she felt scared, as if I could read her thoughts and that I knew exactly what buttons to push. Felt good to hear after being in the dark about women for so long

        -IG


        • YaReally
          on January 25, 2013 at 1:33 am
          Original Link

          “Reading Mystery Method and a lot of comments regarding ramping up the escalation made me feel like my game was lacking in one way or another.”

          It’s good to learn HOW to escalate fast, like for the hell of it when you’re in some bar where you don’t really care about the consequences (ie – not at a house party hitting on your social circle where fucking up can come back to haunt you), practice escalating quickly for the fun of it and just to have the skillset in your tool-box where you can apply it on Day 2′s or on vacation etc. And it’s good for shattering some limiting beliefs about how fast you can get away with escalating. And it’s a fun adrenaline rush lol

          But keep your bread and butter to what works if you’re getting results and you’re cool with going on Day 2′s etc. :)

          “each time I made out with one of the girls on the day 2 I pretended like I couldn’t believe that I had let them get so far with me.”

          You’re running MM style “flip the script”, it’s really powerful as you’ve found out. I give off a vibe now where I’m so obviously a player (this is on purpose and not an inevitable consequence of learning Game so don’t worry if you don’t want to give that vibe off, it’s something I purposely fostered because it helps set the type of relationships I like), that I can’t get away with flipping the script anymore but I used it for my first few years and it was powerful as fuck.

          “The reactions from both girls was incredulous.”

          Incredulous AND completely consistent with what their reactions are supposed to be according to PUA Game. :) Part of why I got sucked into pickup was that I went out and tried some shit word for word out of some PUA teaching and it worked EXACTLY like they said it would, like the girls had the exact reactions that I read they would have. From there I was hooked.

          “Especially the Asian, whom is convinced that every guy that hits on her only wants to fuck her because she’s Asian.”

          Ya, fuck, I get this as a white guy if I talk to an Asian chick. I don’t even have to actually be hitting on her, she just assumes I have Yellow Fever and want to fuck her like every other guy. The irony is I actually don’t even like Asian chicks, they usually have a pretty asexual vibe and I can’t picture them being good in bed. Most of the Asian porn I’ve seen they just lay there like starfish making annoying noises lol I would actually have to be convinced TO fuck an Asian chick. But the stereotype is there and Asian chicks have enough reference experience of white guys with Yellow Fever that it affects how they view themselves on the 1-10 scale and you have to adapt your game to that. So flipping the script blows their mind if you’re a white dude.

          “Like, who the fuck is this average looking guy screening me out and insinuating that I’m the aggressor. I’m going to run the gambit on a few more girls and report here if it speeds the seduction.”

          lol do it up. You’ll find certain personality types respond to it really well (whereas some types respond better to you unapologetically being the aggressor) and it’ll help you calibrate when to use it.

          “The Asian said that she could tell I have a type A personality. Felt good because I’ve been working to rid of the AFC for the past year.”

          lol we usually “debrief” the girl after sex when we’re cuddling with her, like ask her what she thought of us when she first met us, ask her when she knew she wanted to fuck us, etc. just to see how other people view us. Girls would literally tell me I must be lying when I’d tell them I was a virgin till 23 and never had a girlfriend and was socially awkward etc. Like it was so unbelievable to them based on what they knew about me that they thought I was just fucking with them and would even get angry about it. There was a point near the start where I literally had to lie to girls and say I’ve slept with a bunch of other girls because that was congruent to the YaReally that they just banged. :) I always found that shit funny lol

          Props on your self-improvement! Keep at it, the “fake it till you make it” thing is legit, I could never fall back into my old Beta AFC self…it’s just not possible at this point, I’ve crossed the line too far.

          “The tall HB7 said she felt scared, as if I could read her thoughts and that I knew exactly what buttons to push. Felt good to hear after being in the dark about women for so long”

          lol awesome. Good stuff. This plays into the concept of cockblocking and shit-testing…a lot of that stuff is based on the girl (or her friends) sensing her Buying Temperature is spiking or could start spiking based on the interaction, and trying to throw herself out of that state and cool off her BT. She feels “scared” because it’s like she’s in a car zooming down a hill and trying to jam the brakes but they don’t work and she realizes she can’t stop that car from hitting the wall at the bottom of the hill (aka fuck you). So she tries to throw shit-tests at you and her friends drag her away etc. hoping you fuck up and the brakes kick in so she doesn’t have to be a slut, but if you pass all that shit like a pro boom, you get the lay.

          So for her she’s just mind-blown that you can jam her brakes like that so effortlessly because most other guys can’t. :)


    • anonymous
      on January 23, 2013 at 11:13 pm
      Original Link

      I enjoy your comments and thought I would add what I normally do. I will keep things light and number close as fast as possible, text and be interesting, set up a meet and do something interesting, then kinda fade off. Anywhere from a week to 3 months later I will get a text of “hey” or “whats up” and from there I will escalate fast. 9 times out of 10 I can get a SNL out of the woman when she reinitiates. I figure the reason this works so well, and spares me a lot of time trying to chase after women, is because every now and then women do get horny, and I’m better off waiting for them to be horny then trying to make them horny and having like a 25% success rate at that. If the sex is good it will usually lead to a fwb, but the choice is mine. Also if a chick goes out she probably gets a few numbers and whatnot that night and it takes a little bit for those leads to pan out, and that leaves me left in good standing while the other guys messed up. Anyways, if you do this enough, it will keep you as busy as you want. Also, it works best if you go over to her place. If things don’t work well just leave right away.


      • immoralgables
        on January 24, 2013 at 6:01 am
        Original Link

        Hey man I see the merits of your strategy and can’t knock it. Only concern might be that as you move up the chain and game hotter girls, how likely is it that they will yearn for random dick of a guy that’s not on their radar.

        Like “hmm, well I have an invite to the club with this model looking guy. Or can go down to the Bahamas with this European guy this wknd. Or I can get in a cab and go cross town to this guy YaReallys apt who makes my emotions go /\/\/\/\. But know what, ill just hit up that guy I met a few weeks back instead.”

        Would love to hear the semantics of how you escalate fast though after they hit you up I think it could help a lot of guys out because its a difficult skill set to get right. Thanks for the feedback.


        • anonymous
          on January 25, 2013 at 12:39 am
          Original Link

          If the competition is between me, model guy, european guy, and YaReally then I may have to go fatty trollin… haha

          I think if you tried my strategy on hotter women you would find some success, but it really comes down to what you want. For me its a numbers game and there are women everywhere so I just have fun with it.

          The basic goal of escalation is to get isolation with a woman. How to do that? These days its as simple as her inviting me over to watch movies. Or even cuddling. It doesn’t really matter what the reason is as long as your alone with her in a mostly private place.

          Here is the basic way these convos go…
          *after not talking to her for a few weeks*
          hey whats up – not much just been swamped at work, what are you up to
          that sucks, im just watching tv kinda bored – me too, i dont feel like doing much tonight, what are ya watching?
          Im just watching LameTVshow… – Sounds like loads of fun…
          Oh yeah loads – Yeah I bet, I havent had fun in a few weeks
          Me either blah blah blah – We should just hang out and be bored together
          That would be nice – blah blah blah what is your address?

          Most of the time they jump at the chance to hang out again after having a good time talking with me and then the followup date. Sometimes I come over and start watching TV and cuddling next thing I know her hand is headed south.

          If I get any resistance its usually just logistics but then they just go back into the slow cooker for a day or more depending on how busy I am or what I feel like doing. After wasting a lot of time when I was young chasing after women and nothing coming of it I really hate wasting time now. So I kinda developed this to use as little of my time as possible kinda weird how that works…


          • YaReally
            on January 25, 2013 at 1:46 am
            Original Link

            Both of you have good points. Immoral’s right that hotter girls have a lot of options, but the way Anonymous is running it he’s coming off as pretty high-value to the girl BECAUSE he’s not chasing her around. If he gets a # off a 9, and then doesn’t bother to put any effort into chasing her, that stands out as “wtf?? Does he have other girls as hot as me and doesn’t need to chase me around like these other guys??” because most of those rich 6-pack guys are hounding her to meet up.

            If she throws out a feeler txt, he knows that’s the signal of “I want to hook up” so he just escalates on it. A lot of guys would over-game off that feeler txt and fuck it up or try to set up a Day 2 for the weekend etc., but he knows as soon as he gets that “hey whats up” that’s her saying “escalate this shit, I need cock” and escalates it in a fun smooth chill way to isolation, where things can escalate to sex.

            Girls with boyfriends (new or long-term) will do the same thing. If I don’t hear from a girl for a few months and then she txts me a “hey” on a Friday night, I know that means “I’m horny and for whatever reason I’m not fucking my boyfriend, I need you to arrange a situation where we can have sex in a way that doesn’t trigger my ASD and make me feel slutty” so she trusts me to understand her signal and make it happen and I’ll bone her that night.

            I just don’t primarily focus on this strategy, but I can completely see it working as a method if you’re really chill about getting laid and you have a lot of other stuff going on in your life (work, exercise, hobbies, etc.) where you can’t be bothered to chase pussy around.

            BradP called this putting a girl on the “slow-track” and he added stuff like arranging ambiguous future plans with her or saying he’d call and then not call etc. which is just a more elaborate/pro-active version of your slow-cooker. But again, if you have more important shit to do than chase pussy which is what BradP’s version is, the slow-cooker of just waiting for them to initiate is just as good.

            Thanks for sharing your method/mindset!



edie
on January 23, 2013 at 8:21 pm
Original Link

i’m a woman. i’ve been in a relationship with my husband since our early 20s and thus, i don’t really have that much experience with dating – so i find this fascinating.

do people really banter about granola?

most women really can’t answer WHY they hold the beliefs that they do?

if you’re a guy of above-average intelligence, what is your definition of an “interesting” female conversational partner? what are the essential attributes?

if a girl started talking to you about, like, cryogenics, would that be more or less of a turnoff than a lengthy discussion about kanye’s overhaul of kim’s wardrobe in ‘keeping up with the kardashians’? (assuming the girl is hot in both cases)


  • YaReally
    on January 23, 2013 at 8:54 pm
    Original Link

    “most women really can’t answer WHY they hold the beliefs that they do?”

    We know that. And that’s kind of the point. Tyler says “You’re only as smart as you have to be.” so a hot chick doesn’t HAVE to know her Why because no one will ever require it of her.

    See what goes thru a girl’s head when you say “Why?” and stare her down, if you could slow down time, is basically “what? Why?? I don’t know why, no one’s ever asked me that, they’re usually just happy I have my tits in this push-up bra! Why isn’t that enough for him? Has he been around enough girls with nice tits that those don’t even matter to him?? Shit those were my ace in the hole here, now he expects me to bring MORE to the table?? Who IS this guy? If he’s been with enough girls with nice tits for those to not be enough for him, what do all those girls know about him that I don’t? I didn’t think much of him at first but he must be one of those hidden high value guys like the homeless guy who turns out to be a millionaire…oh man now I want to impress him since he’s high value…okay I’ll come up with a Why for him! There, I said it, does he approve?? I hope he does omg I hope my answer was good enough…”

    And now a hot girl is finding herself qualifying herself to and seeking approval from a guy she didn’t even really want at first. Him giving her approval starts a chain of rewards that builds attraction. This all happens in a split-second.

    A fun experiment with a girl you’ve got some basic attraction with, is to ask her a question or make her jump through a hoop (“tell me a joke”), and when she can’t answer right away say, in a totally friendly and fun way like you’re helping a child with their homework “Why don’t you think on it and come find me again when you have a better answer. :) ” and do a back-turn and talk to your buddies and just completely dismiss her mid-conversation.

    If the attraction is there, she’ll go back to her friends and brainstorm with them like a motherfucker to come up with something better. She’ll ask half the bar to tell her a joke she can bring back to you. And she’ll find you again and try to get your attention and like a 5yo busting out the Father’s Day gift she made in kindergarten, she’ll be super excited to give you her new answer and get your approval/validation.

    Guys fall for this too, a lot. After all, PUAs learned these moves from backwards-engineering what hot women do lol



A Charming Rapist
on January 24, 2013 at 7:53 pm
Original Link

Hey guys, let me just say right off the bat this blog is the shit and so is all the commenter input. Thanks for giving me a retreat from this increasingly grim reality I live in.

I was hoping for some advice: sometime in my mid-20′s I became a serious workaholic, even to the point where I sometimes work 2 full-time jobs. I have no illusions about why I am this way: I do it to escape or deflect loneliness and depression. I’ve become quite isolated as a result of it, though I never really had much of a social life to begin with. Now approaching 30, and Game-aware, I’m wondering if I’m wasting my time. Sure, it’s nice to get money, but I don’t even know what my endgame is.
So what’s more important to you guys, working hard and becoming financially sufficient, or practicing Game and aqcuiring notches? For me anyway, focusing on one leaves very little time for the other. Keep in mind I’m not looking for any kind of relationship; even before swallowing the red pill I knew that marrying an American woman was like eating a bullet, only worse. Still, I get twangs of unhappiness here and there. I want to be able to relax and enjoy myself with a girl every now and then.



Soldiers

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReallyJody
on January 21st, 2013 at 3:19 pm
Original Link

You can’t learn how to handle women without interacting with women. That’s why if you take a Keyboard Jockey pro who’s read and studied everything under the sky about pickup and you put him in a bar he will shit his pants and get drunk in a corner by himself and go home alone.

You need to build the reference experiences that drill into your mind “do this or that will happen again”. Even if you understand all the logic, without experience you will convince yourself that that’s “only those bar slut girls, the girl *I* choose would never be like that” I can TELL you to get a girl’s number instead of giving her yours. I can give you every logical reason in the world and you can fully understand them. But you’ll meet your perfect dream girl you want to marry and she’ll say “I don’t give out my number, give me yours, I promise I’ll call you and we’ll do all those things we talked about and get married blah blah” and you’ll go “hmmmmm…….okay!” And give her your number. And then you’ll never hear from her ever again.

That pain will drill into your brain to not settle for giving her your number.

You can’t gain those experiences if you aren’t interacting with women. That’s why when guys are like “o ya well PUA doesn’t make you an alpha what makes you an alpha is climbing a mountain and being a CEO of a major company and joining the army learning to be a REAL man!”

Ya, sure, those things teach you awesome things and give you lots of confidence. But that doesn’t mean shit when a pretty girl is staring you in the eyes waiting for you to do something.

Keyboard Jockeys think “whatever man, a guy who climbed Everest wouldn’t be intimidate by some dumb girl in a bar, what’s SHE done compared to him? Nothing, he would own her effortlessly because he’s so badass!” But that’s because they haven’t been out with enough guys to see, in action, that like 99% of the time it doesn’t make a difference.

At the end of the day, in our current society, especially in the nightlife, a hot chick with nice tits in a push-up bra is the height of value. She can be a complete piece of shit and you can be a doctor but she’s getting in the door first because she knows how to walk in heels. She has situational value and guys who don’t interact with hot chicks regularly fall into that same belief that she has high value and choke on their own dick terrified to talk to her.

Guys should go out and socialize and do pickup for a couple years after high school instead of climbing a mountain or joining the army. It’ll teach them a shit-load more.


Soldiers

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on January 23rd, 2013 at 4:06 pm
Original Link

OlioOx: soon as you finally swallow the red pill and accept that hypergamy doesn’t care about your Madonna/whore complex, it only cares that you remain a high value man in her eyes, you’ll understand what Owen is saying.

Don’t stop working on yourself, improving yourself as a man, and attracting your woman. When you slack off on all that, the virgin Good Girl you married will be sucking my dick in the bathroom of a bar on her Girls’ Night Out.


The Modern Sexual Market In A Picture

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on January 21, 2013 at 10:38 am
Original Link

“A surprising number of men high-fived me”

lol I apologize on behalf of the old-school PUAs for making this a thing people do now. We thought it was a brilliant compliance test that also provided kino, but fuck has everyone taken it and run with it and now random dudes and even girls will hold up their hand for me to high-five them and I’m like “…seriously?”

We created a monster and can’t destroy it. :(



Tertullian
on January 21, 2013 at 11:15 am
Original Link

Cartoon balloon coming out of her mouth: “How did you come up with ‘King A’ for a username?”


  • YaReally
    on January 21, 2013 at 11:52 am
    Original Link

    lol’ed


    • Matthew King (King A)
      on January 22, 2013 at 10:49 am
      Original Link

      No farce on this site is complete till the nerd-turned-coolguy adds his insecure “lol.”


      • YaReally
        on January 22, 2013 at 11:31 am
        Original Link

        oooo I got an extra attention ration. I feel special. You’re totally going to get in my pants at this rate!



PetiteOlive
on January 21, 2013 at 11:37 am
Original Link

1) Don’t get fat 2) Don’t get ugly and 3) Be feminine…Noted.

And Lest we ignore the fact that she created 10 fake profiles, wasted the time of some of these “popular” women by posing as some imaginary sucessful bachelor and emailing them back and forth and then hijacked the email/profile interactive styles of these popular women to serve her own self interests. Desperation, deception and self-entitlement….nice.

And if a guy did the same thing, i.e. create fake female attractive profiles with a motive of learning how attractive successful males gamed these women via email exchanges/interactions in order to score more female attractive tail, he would be called all kinds of names.


  • YaReally
    on January 21, 2013 at 11:54 am
    Original Link

    This.

    It’s okay for women to lie cheat and steal to land a man, but if a guy learns pickup? Burn him at the stake.


  • NiteLily
    on January 21, 2013 at 3:33 pm
    Original Link

    “And Lest we ignore the fact that she created 10 fake profiles, wasted the time of some of these “popular” women by posing as some imaginary sucessful bachelor and emailing them back and forth and then hijacked the email/profile interactive styles of these popular women to serve her own self interests. Desperation, deception and self-entitlement”

    Well, she is smarter than you, that’s for sure.

    She had tenacity and fortitude to do it and she got rewarded for it. I’m sure if you had ½ brain and came up with such a scheme, wild horse wouldn’t stop you.

    So I find your fake “outrage,” well, fake. Or maybe just meant to ingratiate yourself with the men here so they think you are bashing women.

    Let me tell you, women have a lot to bashed for, just not in this case. It’s highly misplaced on your part. If anyone expected complete honesty on an online dating site, then they are crazy and stupid. PROCEED WITH CAUTION, should be the policy.


    • PetiteOlive
      on January 21, 2013 at 4:14 pm
      Original Link

      Iolzlolzzzzz @ outrage…again, here you go….substituting/projecting your irrational emotional outbursts/reactions on me. Calling out the hipocrisy of it its all sweetie ;) ….*passes you some e-valium and/or xanax* here ya go love, you clearly need it….but continue entertaining me……I am at work (and bored) xo

      P.s.”and she got rewarded for it”***??? lolololozzzzzzzz sure, if a balding short beta manboob J is the “reward”, I’ll pass…gross


      • NiteLily
        on January 21, 2013 at 4:26 pm
        Original Link

        It doesn’t matter how he looks, dummy? If he makes her happy and they got married, who are you to scoff being the slut-type everyone makes fun off here?

        Haven’t you noticed you fall right into the description of a carousel riding whore? LOL! You just admitted you are seeing a 19-year old boy because your man dumped you, right? If I were you I wouldn’t point the finger at a woman who got married and is not whoring herself like you. Look at yourself, babe.



The Modern Sexual Market In A Picture

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on January 22, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Original Link

FR:

Nothing much this week, but I did get out there and made a point of talking to randoms.

Thursday:

Mark is like ‘oh this bar is going to be packed with college hotties, let’s go.’ I’m like ‘okay.’ We get there. Guess what isn’t packed? The bar. There’s like no one there. Soon enough, though, a group of people we knew arrived. It was like 9 guys and two girls. Mark tries to talk to one of the girls, she’s lukewarm on him (and she knows him). Then, my other friend arrives with a girl — not sure if he’s boning her. Anyway, spent most of the night hanging out with them instead. Kind of annoying, for sure.

Friday: So, got invited to a skiing/snowboarding trip with social circle. I’m like ‘sure.’ We go. It’s pretty fun. Friday is spent driving there, mostly.

Saturday: After snowboarding, we go to the only bar in the little ski town. I was going to be pissed again, because when we got there, we were the only ones there. But people started arriving soon enough. So, I’ll try to recreate my approaches, and for fun, I’ll try to just put a little ‘how much I had drank by that point’ by the set.

Set 1: (1 beer)
I approach them, there’s a middle-aged woman (does not even register on attractiveness scale to me), two young women, and an older guy. My first legit mixed set. I realize that the bar is going to have a mustache party later, so my opener is just ‘I don’t see any mustaches here — I don’t know if you know this, but I’m the party patrol. The bar hired me to check up on people like you…’

They like it. The middle aged woman really goes for it…blah blah blah. She starts asking me what race I am, compliments me on my eyes, whatever. She then introduces me to everyone at the table. The young woman on the left is like a 5.5, and the one on the right is like a 6.5. For now, I just spend time talking to the middle-aged woman and the guy.

Then, the bartender walks up — she’s got on a mustache — and she puts her hands on her hips. I’m like ‘what’s up, Luigi?’ She stares at me for a second, and is like ‘you’re cut off.’ I just kinda laugh. Long story short, she ends up drawing a mustache on my face. I figured that could be some sort of DHV in front of the set. However, lest I start falling into dancing monkey status, I leave (I decide to make the set a homebase).

Set 2: (2.5 beers)

A legit 7 (she’s like in her early-mid 30′s, so 10 years ago she was probably a 7.5) and her friend are at a table. I just use the same opener on them. They’re a little chillier to it, but friendly. The 7 seems warmer than her friend (chubby, in a pink shirt). I don’t do anything beyond the opener (I’m not going to force conversation). I leave on a good note, figuring maybe I’ll get at them later.

Return to Set 1 (3.5 beers):
Now, I take a seat next to the 6.5 and start talking to her. I’ve grown pretty fond of saying shit like ‘you’re my dreamgirl’ or ‘I think I just fell in love with you, so here’s what we’re going to do….’ with a kind of smirk. Her first reaction to me sitting next to her and saying ‘listen, it’s possible you could be my dream girl,’ was ‘what? you don’t even know me. I could be crazy.’ I look at her for a few seconds, ‘ohhh….you’re crazy? That sucks, I guess I was wrong.’ She laughs ‘no, I’m just saying.’ I nod slowly…’what -are- you saying, exactly? You’re starting to freak me out.’ I say it with a chuckle, and she laughs. So, blah blah blah…she drops the bomb that she has a daughter.


At this point it’s just like ‘who gives a shit’ in my mind. I lose interest. So I just kinda get her facebook and put my number in her phone. I don’t get her number.
I turn attention to the 5.5, who seems open to liking me, but I just think to myself about how much time I want to invest in a 5.5. So, again, I leave the table to circulate.

Return to Set 2:
I’m kind of hazy as to how I ended up on the dancefloor. But I know that I wasn’t dancing with the 7 at first, and I ended up dancing with her. And it was definitely grindy/sexy. She turned around to face me and put her hands on my shoulders, and then her chubby friend pulls her away. By now, Set 2 has grown to like 5 girls. I blink a few times…one of my friends tries to dance with the chubby girl, but she’s not having it. I’m wondering what the deal is. But who cares, I’m not going to linger on the dancefloor like a chode.

Set 3:
(5 beers in)
I approach this one girl, and instead of doing the party opener. I just go direct, like ‘hey, what’s going on over here?’ I must have totally telegraphed all intentions on the girl. She was like a 6.5, pretty cute. Anyway, she deployed full bitch shields. She said she was a lesbian, then she said she was there with one of the guys in her group. I actually turn and realize that there are three guys there with her. Inwardly I’m like ‘hahaha look at these white knight bitches.’ And so, anyway, one of the guys she says she’s there with (I totally don’t think it was true — however, I don’t know for sure lol). She gives me this icy stare, and I just kind of grin ‘man, that’s great…I just want to be friends. You seem so…..warm.’ Now, don’t get me wrong, she hated me right there…like, she was pissed. However, I feel like if I would have been able to say something, like a tension defuser, I would have completely won her and the table over. Alas, I was a mere mortal and had to eject shortly thereafter.

Return to Set 2 (still 5 beers in)
I see the 7 again, and I start talking to her. I’m like ‘hey, where’d you go on the dancefloor?’ Then little fat pink rushes in ‘SHE’S MARRIED.’ And I just blink, with a laugh ‘WHAT? I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS. You know….’
I look at the 7 in the eye ‘…cuddle on the couch, and talk about feelings and shit.’ The 7 is like ‘yeah, you want to be friends, eh?’ I give a slight nod ‘the best of friends.’ Fat pepto bismol is quick to say that all of them are married. So I try to address the obstacles, but it’s kind of too late. I just say I want to be friends with them, blah blah blah blah.

My friend tries to help again with the obstacles. He talks to them for awhile, and they like him. However, during this time, I can’t find where the 7 is. Probably with some player. Mission failed.

Set 4:
(5.5 beers in)
A 6.5 and her little chubby friend are there by the bar. I stop them, using the party patrol opener. The 6.5 instantly seems to like me. She didn’t seem that drunk, but then again, I was already several beers in. So, I just decided to ignore her IOI’s because she could have been drunk. Positive interaction, I tease her, use the whole dreamgirl routine. Seems to go over well, then I focus on her friend for awhile. So, I got her number and everything…and then I just left. I probably talked to them for like 5 minutes. In retrospect, I don’t know why I didn’t stay. Needless to say, she flaked :D

Set 5 (7 beers):

By now, I’m sloppy as shit. I only include this to be kind of funny. I walk over and talk to two girls. Opener is party patrol. They are…polite. Friend sits down, and we start talking to both. They’re like 6′s. They slowly start to warm — just a little. And then at this point, the other two girls in the Set appear. A 7 and a 5. The 7 is a raging bitch ‘you’re in my seat, get out of my seat NOW…we’re here together we don’t want you here.’ My friend leans back, stunned. Now, I realize that the 7 is an obstacle (didn’t know she existed, so now that’s what she is to me lol), so I try to address her. She ain’t havin’ it. The two original girls kind of shrug and are like ‘yeah maybe you guys should just go.’ So clearly whatever opening shit we did wasn’t effective/or they just weren’t having it. My friend ejects…and I move, allowing her to get into her seat. But I’m not done yet. It’s my full intention now to get blown out of this set. The 7 gets up out of her chair to talk to some chode, and I immediately sit down again. She turns around and I’m like ‘OH IS THIS YOUR SEAT…DAYUUUUUM!’ Twice, I’ve gotten a girl to just HATE me in a night. I’m not talking the apathetic ‘whatever dude.’ We’re talking ‘I want to kill you.’
Annnnnywayyyyys, I just ejected after that.

There was another set of Asian chicks who were into me, but I don’t count them because my friend said that they were like a 5 and a 4. And I was actually drunk by that point. So who cares.

Observations:

I definitely feel like I’m gaining status within the group. I mean, the equation just seems to be ‘do cool/bold/fun things…people like you more.’ I also don’t even care if someone says ‘that girl HATED you’ or whatever. Because in my mind I’m just like ‘yeah, who have you talked to cold…ever? You warm approaching pussy piece of shit.’ :D
Speaking of that, a girl in my social circle that went on the trip did say that ‘yeah, it’s been cool getting to know you better. You’re actually a really cool guy, I mean, I’d date you.’ Now, in my mind I actually know that she knew me the exact same before now (we didn’t interact particularly much)…so, I mean…it just seems to be me starting to change.

I actually noticed that when a set is going well for me…for example, the 5.5 in the first set — I ran into her several times and had good times — I tend to just say ‘who cares, I want to challenge myself’ and immediately start looking for hotter/better girls.

I dunno what it is, but maybe it’s the combo of working out and adrenaline in the cold approaches, but it’s pretty cool. Like, I’m starting to build internal validation…taking more chances. Putting myself out there, so to speak. Mark and I know a natural who got into PUA to get even better, and what he said makes sense: “at first, people are going to hate on you for trying to improve yourself. But that’s good, because now it means you’re on their radar, and the reason you’re on your radar is because you -could- possibly surpass them or become cooler than them in some way. Even your best friends don’t tend to like this very much. So, expect lots of shit talking about game, and contradictory bullshit about what’s ‘organic’ and what’s ‘artificial.’ Then, people are going to grudgingly accept your success — maybe they’ll just attribute it to luck or whatever. But eventually, if you keep on with it, they’ll ask you for tips and accept it.’


  • Newly Aloof
    on January 22, 2013 at 2:50 pm
    Original Link

    Good for you, Young Buck. You know of Game, you’re putting in mileage, and you’re going to the gym. Only a matter of time for you. (I’d suggest some MMA too. When you can choke most dudes out, it will show in your eyes and demeanor, then you won’t have to chase chicks as much since they will sense/smell your badassness)


    • Scray
      on January 22, 2013 at 2:54 pm
      Original Link

      Is that possible? I mean, I’m 5’4. I have a hard time imagining MMA as this thing that allows a 5’4 man to learn how to choke the shit out of a 6’2 dude.


      • YaReally
        on January 25, 2013 at 12:55 am
        Original Link

        “Is that possible? I mean, I’m 5’4. I have a hard time imagining MMA as this thing that allows a 5’4 man to learn how to choke the shit out of a 6’2 dude.”

        Ya lol It’s possible. I know some guys that if you met them you’d be like “this skinny little wirey guy knows how to fight? No way.” But they get in the ring and they’re like fucking spiders grappling. They can’t go blow for blow out-punching a bigger guy, but a lot of martial arts and fight training is based around strategy and body-mechanics, not strength.

        Everyone knows Tyson’s knock-out power, but his defense was fucking solid and let him set up for those knock-out punches:

        Taking MMA/boxing/martial arts/etc. up is cool, it helps build your confidence and give off an “I can handle myself” vibe, and it teaches you to be aware of signs of aggression etc. which helps you spot potentially dangerous situations in advance and avoid them or calm them down with social skills…

        But it’s not something you NEED to do, because ideally you’re learning a skillset that makes you socially savvy enough to avoid fights entirely, to turn-around and befriend people who hate you (girls shit-testing you, guys who have a beef with you, etc.), and avoid or chill out situations that might get out of hand.

        I’ve never had a guy actually take a swing at me, but I’ve been in potentially dangerous situations where the guy ALMOST takes a swing. It’s rare, but it happens by the nature of what I do (hitting on girls via cold-approach)…but the thing that’s saved me every time has been my social skill-set and understanding how to psychologically diffuse someone or socially intimidate them long enough to get away, not the McDojo Karate classes I took as a kid lol

        But if it’s something that looks like fun and interesting to you, definitely check it out. It’s a good workout on top of confidence-building so it’d help your weight-loss goals too.


  • anon
    on January 22, 2013 at 3:24 pm
    Original Link

    What’s impressive about getting drunk, talking to stupid/ugly/boring people, and making women hate you? Boring and worthless as FUCK, every way you look at it– what a complete waste of flesh. Why bother wasting your life on cretins like this? What the fuck is the point? You would have been happier if you spent your money/time getting a massage or sexing up a hooker. Or, you know–God forbid–actually doing something interesting and productive like a real man would.

    Yep. Hell IS other people.


    • Scray
      on January 22, 2013 at 3:45 pm
      Original Link

      Lol, well if you don’t get it, then you don’t get it.


      • Puma
        on January 22, 2013 at 4:08 pm
        Original Link

        Scray I think the biggest problem with everything is not your game but your height. Think about the way you write off chicks that are overweight- it’s the same for girls regarding your height.

        My suggestion: Tighten up your appearance. Wear nicer clothes and if you can pull it off, rock a 5 o’clock shadow. Also invest in nice shoes- I wear expensive (not necessarily flashy) shoes and believe me, women notice.

        Good shoes brands: Allen Edmonds, Tod’s, Ralph Lauren Purple Label, Church’s, etc.

        Since you can’t DHV with your height- try it with your clothes AND your game.


        • Scray
          on January 23, 2013 at 7:11 pm
          Original Link

          Scruff doesn’t look good on me. I’m constantly working on my fashion sense and trying to wear cooler clothes, so yeah…I’m with you, but you know, it’s a process just like going to the gym/losing weight/etc.

          I don’t doubt that the biggest problem with everything is probably my height, but I can’t do anything about it lol. All I can do is try to make everything else as good as possible. So yeah, thx.


          • YaReally
            on January 25, 2013 at 1:09 am
            Original Link

            “I don’t doubt that the biggest problem with everything is probably my height, but I can’t do anything about it lol. All I can do is try to make everything else as good as possible.”

            Basically this lol The thing is you can overcome a lot of the drawbacks of your height when you understand how attraction really works and specifically WHY tall guys get attraction easier than short guys. When you can communicate the same things a tall guy does, your height will still probably shoot you down here and there, but you’ll be amazed at how little a difference it actually makes.

            When PUAs get good, we start doing stuff like going out looking sloppy or wearing shitty clothes or basically sabotaging ourselves looks-wise or going for girls that most people would think wouldn’t be attracted to us and forcing ourselves to game like we normally would, so when we still end up getting good results, those reference experiences drill into our brain how little the superficial stuff matters.

            That’s why I have the strong belief that looks are pretty much irrelevant. I have the experience to back it up first-hand, and I’ve met and seen enough different types of guys gaming in-field to have racked up tons of experience second and third-hand that they don’t really matter.

            But the guys who don’t go out and don’t have those reference experiences will shout me down and call me brainwashed and all that shit. I know I can pretty much ignore those guys and write them off as Keyboard Jockeys because if you’re going out a lot and your game is solid and you meet and hang out with a variety of guys with game and see them running their game and even compete with them for fun, you come to the same conclusions I have and other PUAs have.

            One of my favorite quotes from Tyler is that when he comes across cool guys with hot chicks, what’s the first thing he does? He tries to take the girls from him lol so he can see how the guy tools him and learn from it and learn to handle social pressure. That’s the mindset of someone who shatters limiting beliefs and learns first-hand “okay a skinny nasally-voiced pale 5’8″ balding ginger with ADD *CAN* take girls off these guys with solid game.” The Keyboard Jockeys would never have the balls to try that so they sit and circle-jerk about how important looks are lol

            Do the best with what you’ve got, especially at the start, and sharpen your game from there.


      • YaReally
        on January 25, 2013 at 12:58 am
        Original Link

        lol good attitude. You’ll meet a lot of guys like anon there. Sometimes they’ll even be friends or family members who try to talk you out of this because they just don’t get it.

        You’re the only one who can look at yourself and go “you know what, I feel a lot better about myself than I did a couple months ago”. No one will ever be able to feel the progress you make the way you will. Trust your gut.


  • YaReally
    on January 25, 2013 at 12:43 am
    Original Link

    Here’s the breakdown, but I’m not going to go super in-depth into the actual interactions as the night goes on because you know you were just being “a drunk guy” at that point and not “a guy working on his game” lol Got some mindset advice for ya though.

    From the start:

    “Nothing much this week, but I did get out there and made a point of talking to randoms.”

    Good stuff, that’s a victory, all this little shit counts. Even just putting on pants and leaving the house with the INTENTION to approach counts because it builds the habit of “putting on pants and leaving the house with the intention to approach”. It’s like going to the gym consistently. If you hurt your arm or something, you can still go, you just don’t work out those muscles or take it really easy on them…it’s more important that you went, even if you took it easy, than it is that you lifted the heaviest weight there.

    When I was going out 4-6 nights a week, often 2 or 3 of the nights would be just opening a couple sets or even just wandering around chatting with a bartender or two or chat with some dude sitting on the stool beside me in a pub, or chatting up a store clerk at the mall. It wasn’t a crazy shit-show every night. Tyler goes out for like 20-60 min during the week, then has his big nights on the weekend. The reason that just going out and opening a set or two and going home counts is because aside from opening, you’re building all these other good habits of “getting used to going out so it’s not a big deal to do it” and “getting into the mindset of going out to approach people” and visualizing yourself approaching and forcing yourself through the initial approach anxiety of the day/night etc.

    “Mark is like”

    Just a heads-up, if you’re using real names switch ‘em to fake names. You don’t want friends and family and girls in the future stumbling across your Field Reports. A few of us have had that happen and it doesn’t end pretty lol

    “My first legit mixed set. I realize that the bar is going to have a mustache party later, so my opener is just ‘I don’t see any mustaches here — I don’t know if you know this, but I’m the party patrol. The bar hired me to check up on people like you…’ They like it.”

    Congrats on your first mixed set, and that was a solid Opener. You’re good at coming up with situational stuff. Mix that in with the hairdresser etc. stuff you’ve got going and you’ll start dominating the Open.

    “For now, I just spend time talking to the middle-aged woman and the guy.”

    Good, for a set like that where you’re not really trying to bone any of them and it’s early in the night and it’s a mixed set, just be chill and fun and friendly. Then you can use them as a base camp to return to later in the night. A lot of times, you’ll find that the unreceptiveness of some of the people in the group is because they figure being in a bar you have ulterior motives to talking to them because it’s such an unusual thing to happen (almost no one legit cold approaches people without a motive) so they’re trying to figure out what the trick is…so if you hold the frame that you’re just socializing and you like to make new friends and all that shit, your frame will eventually win and they’ll chill out and warm up to you.

    “I’m like ‘what’s up, Luigi?’ She stares at me for a second, and is like ‘you’re cut off.’”

    lol. I cut girls off all the time. It’s one of my go-to teases. If they say/do something strange I’ll put my hand over the rim of their glass or if we’re sitting I’ll blatantly slowly drag their glass away like “ooookay that’s enough alcohol for you.” and tell them they’re cut off. Works extra great when they’re sober.

    “she ends up drawing a mustache on my face. I figured that could be some sort of DHV in front of the set.”

    Yup, and to your buddies and future girls you open etc. when you come back with a moustache and it’s like “oh the waitress drew this on me.” Plus it’s fun and puts you in a good mood.

    “However, lest I start falling into dancing monkey status, I leave (I decide to make the set a homebase).”

    Good stuff, it’s early in the night, they’re a mixed set, you have friends there, and the set went decent, you don’t need to crash it all night. They’ll remember you the rest of the night and you can re-open.

    So far all you’ve done is spread value and good vibes to people. You’re being a “value-giver” instead of a “value-taker” (which is what most guys are). A good PUA basically makes everyone around him feel good and glad they met him and pumps up their night with good vibes. I’ll chat up dudes on Death Row just to get them feeling more comfortable at the bar and introduce them to random girls that pass us etc…for me I’m just fucking around, for them it’s the best night of their lives and a great story to tell people later.

    You’re actually sort of running Short-Set Method, which is basically early in the night, going group to group and dropping little comments and having little mini-interactions and moving on, with the intention of re-opening later on. This is a great way to build up social proof and shake off the cobwebs of socializing and get in the groove.

    As a short guy, coming off like you know a lot of people is powerful for you, because it displays pre-selection and social dominance that girls assume a tall guy has by default just because he’s tall. People have no idea how deep social connections go, they always assume they’re really deep. So when you walk past a group you’ve only chatted with for a couple minutes, and cheers them and they remember you, to anyone watching they just assume you’ve known those people for years. It’s like when you see a guy and a girl together at a bar, you rarely think “oh they’ve just met”, it’s always “oh that must be her boyfriend” lol Other people do the same thing, and you can use that to your advantage.

    On some nights I’ve had girls ask me if I’m the owner of the club because they see me talking to everyone and everyone SEEMS to know me…but what they don’t realize because they got there at 11pm is that I was chatting those people up at 9pm. :)

    Here’s some old-school Tyler writing on Short-Set Method:

    http://www.seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/Start_PU/Approach/117.html

    A lot of guys will be like “ohhh that’s just playing a numbers game” because they don’t go out and still have the James Bond fantasy of leaning against the bar all night only talking to the hottest woman in the bar and then taking her home and they view socializing as work and suffering instead of fun. Short-Set isn’t about trying to fuck all these people, it’s about building social momentum, getting around resistance from groups by being a generally social guy, and building social-proof and pre-selection so that when you DO see a girl you want, you’ve already laid a solid framework in the room that will help you when you approach and attempt to pickup “for real”.

    “The 7 seems warmer than her friend (chubby, in a pink shirt).”

    Like I say, you should be approaching really hot chicks. They’re going to be more receptive to you than the <6's because the <6's think "oh a short guy, obviously he thinks he can get me because he thinks I'm desperate enough to go for him and he has no other options" whereas a 7+ thinks "fuck, this short guy shouldn't be approaching me, that tall 6-packed James Bond over there won't approach me, why is he so ballsy?? He must have something going for him to be so confident!"

    Also 9s and 10s are generally more socially savvy than lesser chicks, because they're used to high-value people interacting with eachother. The 5 is just bitter and angry at the world and she can be a piece of shit human being and she wallows in that identity…but a 9+ is like "Hey, I'm a social confident person, and so is this person approaching me, let's have a fun interaction." It's kind of a mind-fuck at first, but imagine the difference between a President or a celebrity VS some angry bitter nerd who lives in his computer room…the higher-value person has been groomed by circumstance to be a socially competant person.

    "I don’t do anything beyond the opener (I’m not going to force conversation). I leave on a good note, figuring maybe I’ll get at them later."

    All good, you're just putting yourself on the radar. With these lukewarm sets, sometimes they'll stay lukewarm and you won't ever talk to them again, but often later in the night, after a bunch of lame-ass guys have approached them, they'll be way more receptive to you because they'll remember you as the guy who came by, said something fun (offered value), then left them alone instead of hounding them like a desperate creeper (taking value)…so compared to the other guys they've run into all night, you seem like an awesome guy.

    The key is that when you re-open them later in the night, re-open COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that they were lukewarm before. Like, in your mind that went amazing and of COURSE they'd be happy to talk to you again. VS going up thinking "oh man they didn't like me before…they probably still won't, so I have a lot of work to do". Like go in with that mindset of "Sure they were lukewarm before but man all these lame guys here make me look awesome and I'm going to be like an oasis in the fucking desert for them, saving them from that shit. :) "

    "I’ve grown pretty fond of saying shit like ‘you’re my dreamgirl’ or ‘I think I just fell in love with you, so here’s what we’re going to do….’ with a kind of smirk."

    This is solid stuff, especially if you like saying it (that's the main thing). All I would add to it is to qualify them when you do it so that they feel like ya, you're exaggerating and silly, but you're genuinely into them for a reason (vs no reason at all or just because they have tits).

    So the "I think I just fell in love with you" would come after asking "Can you cook?" or "What do you think about Blah?" or even a statement/cold-read like "You're funny, most girls can't make me laugh, I'm impressed…I think I just fell in love with you."

    Remember, pick something that isn't their physical appearance.

    "‘what? you don’t even know me. I could be crazy.’"

    Generally you'll get this response because she doesn't know why you're in love with her, like you haven't qualified her either at all, or enough to justify being into her in her mind. An ugly girl will take a ton of convincing to believe a cool guy is into her…it's like back in junior high or whatever when a girl says "you're cute" and you automatically think "she must just be fucking with me, whatever" and dismiss it. On the flip side a hot girl will take a ton of convincing to believe that a cool guy is into her for reasons besides her looks.

    So try throwing some qualification in there. You could add it to your hairdresser routine…like "oh, you're not a hairdresser, I just assumed because your hair is all done up and you have a sexy style. I love girls with a good fashion sense, you could be my dream girl."

    Come up with something that's congruent to you, and then qualify girls to see if they have it. …or lie. lol

    "I look at her for a few seconds, ‘ohhh….you’re crazy? That sucks, I guess I was wrong.’ She laughs ‘no, I’m just saying.’"

    Good save. You're doing push/pull, disqualifying her, which instinctively makes her say "no……I'm just saying." This is actually an Indicator of Interest. Subtle, right? A girl who wasn't attracted at all wouldn't qualify herself, she'd go "Ya, I'm crazy, you should leave." This one is actually qualifying herself because there's a little spark of attraction that you could fan up into a flame if you wanted to. This is how subtle this stuff can get sometimes…a lot of Naturals and good PUAs are just really adept at reading these signals in the moment and fanning the spark into a flame.

    "I nod slowly…’what -are- you saying, exactly? You’re starting to freak me out.’ I say it with a chuckle, and she laughs."

    Good stuff, you could theoretically fuck this chick. Like, logistics might not allow it and there are a thousand places you could fuck it up or the universe could fuck it up, BUT the potential is there.

    "she drops the bomb that she has a daughter."

    lol I fear for the next gen of guys. Finding women, even young ones in their prime, who DON'T have at least one kid is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. It's pretty depressing. :( Personally it doesn't bother me much because I'm only looking to fuck, not start a relationship. It makes it more difficult to meet up with them (they have to schedule us hooking up aronud getting a babysitter etc.) and I'm more paranoid that they're looking for a baby daddy lol Also I never ever ever ever ever meet the kids.

    "I lose interest. So I just kinda get her facebook and put my number in her phone. I don’t get her number."

    Remember that just because you get a number or a Facebook doesn't mean you have to txt her or add her to Facebook. :) I have a buddy who literally won't add ugly chicks to his FB, only smokin' hot ones lol The social proof on his Facebook page ALONE gets him laid.

    Don't feel guilty or bad about it, girls do it ALLLLLL the fucking time. Give out their number and then don't answer, or give out fake numbers, etc. You're not hurting her feelings at all if you go for the number and then don't call/txt or add her to FB. Quite frankly, adding a chick you aren't into on your personal FB can be annoying because she can do stupid shit and fuck relationships up for you.

    "I turn attention to the 5.5, who seems open to liking me, but I just think to myself about how much time I want to invest in a 5.5."

    lol This is the difference between a guy working on his game and a Natural who just needs sex. A Natural will go for the easiest lay and stick to her like glue all night, convince himself she's hotter than she was, and leave with her and get the lay. A guy working on his game is like "ehhh, it's not even midnight, I can do better" and risk going home solo.

    Neither option is "better" or "worse" so if you're jonesin', hey, go for it…but in terms of Game, you'll learn a lot more from opening a dozen hot girls in a night and getting blown out than you will be sitting in a corner with one average girl all night and getting laid.

    When I started out I'd actually game girls and try to get them to leave the club with me, then as we got close to the door (so I knew I COULD take her out of there), I'd tell her I'd better not leave my friends and I'd ditch her and go find another girl and try to do the same thing with her. My Natural buddy with a super high sex drive will take an easy girl home before midnight and bang her, then show up back in the club before 1am looking for a hotter one lol

    "I’m kind of hazy as to how I ended up on the dancefloor."

    ahhh alcohol. :D Comments on drinking at the end of this, but don't worry I won't brow-beat you about it.

    "and I ended up dancing with her."

    This is actually the main problem with drinking and game. Everything becomes "I ended up on the dance floor" and "we ended up dancing" and "somehow we got back to my place"…when the important part, all those details of HOW you ended up doing those things, are lost to the blur of beer. You might perform absolute magic and take home a 10, but you won't remember how you did it and be able to duplicate it in the future. :)

    "And it was definitely grindy/sexy. She turned around to face me and put her hands on my shoulders"

    Like I say, sometimes those lukewarm sets become warm later in the night. :)

    "and then her chubby friend pulls her away."

    Understandable. She wasn't real receptive to you at the start, and you didn't stay in set long enough to "work the group" and get her to like you, so she cockblocks. This is just standard group theory playing out to it's logical conclusion. I'm sure I don't even have to tell you that if you had found a way to warm the pink shirt up, she would've let you dance with her friend. Game is logical that way.

    "By now, Set 2 has grown to like 5 girls."

    lol, I told you this happens. That's why it's fine to open up everyone and everything, even dudes and ugly girls…you never know which ones are going to suddenly have their girlfriends show up. I can't count the number of times I've passed up an easy open with an uggo or dude, where I know they would've been friendly to me if I had just said "hi" and shot the shit, and then 10 min later their smokin' hot turbo girlfriends show up and it turns out they're the ugly one of the group and I would have been in solid if I hadn't been anti-social and a value-taker ("I'm not going to talk to them, they're not good enough for me to spread good vibes and value to, wahhh wahhh"). lol

    "I blink a few times…one of my friends tries to dance with the chubby girl, but she’s not having it. I’m wondering what the deal is."

    She's just in a shit mood because no one's pumped her state and put her in a good mood. And her 7 friend is the one having fun dancing with a guy "AS USUAL", so anyone dancing with her is just "settling" in her mind…this actually comes back to qualifying, she knows that your buddy dancing with her is just him trying to get pussy…she hasn't done anything to "earn" his interest besides having tits like every other girl and seeming "easier" to him. So of course she's not havin' it.

    If you had been able to warm her up earlier so she was receptive to you and letting you dance with her friend, and you accomplishment intro'ed your buddy, AND he had enough Game to spike her Buying Temperature and get her laughing and having fun and he qualified her so she thought he was into her because of her sense of humor or some shit…you guys probably could've taken the two of them home. Although the other 3 girls might've cockblocked lol (but sometimes they won't, older women will often be able to ditch their friends for a lay whereas younger ones will be over-protected). But like, if it had been just the two of them, that's how you would've wanted to play it out to both get laid. :)

    "But who cares, I’m not going to linger on the dancefloor like a chode."

    Good. Unless you can dance and LOVE dancing, don't dance by yourself on the dance floor, or with your buddy. I have dude-friends who LOVE dancing, like it's a hobby/passion of theirs and it's fun to them. They do it because they love it and not to get girls. THOSE guys can dance by themselves lol But if you're a normal dude who basically only dances with girls, bail on the dance floor if you're not with a girl.

    Down the road when your frame is really strong, you'll find you can actually open on the dance floor as if it were a normal part of the bar, like not dancing at all just standing there and expecting the girl to talk to you, and she'll fall into your frame and stop dancing and start talking to you like you guys were standing in a corner instead of surrounded by people dancing. It's pretty funny. :)

    "I feel like if I would have been able to say something, like a tension defuser, I would have completely won her and the table over."

    You probably could have. Remember a bitch-shield really isn't a big deal. Look at it as an opportunity to demonstrate your value/personality. If you can handle her bitch-shield smoothly, you win her over, and often her whole group because they're like "ohhhh snap!! He owned our friend lol that's awesome" and they love you (the same way you tip your waitress more when she owns one of your buddies with a good zinger).

    This'll come in time with experience.

    "Then little fat pink rushes in ‘SHE’S MARRIED.’"

    lol. This is PROBABLY true, but the 7 is into you enough that if you warm the pink one up, often they'll chalk it up to an "eat pray love" thing and the 7 can bang you and it "won't count". This is tough though, especially with 5 of them. With just 2 of them, it's easier, but with 5 even if the pink shirt would let it happen, that's 3 other "witnesses" to the crime that triggers their ASD.

    If you could get the 7 alone (probably impossible at that point, Pink Shirt is watching her like a hawk I'm sure), you can use stuff like "No one will ever know, you'll never see me again." and go for the makeout and get it lol

    My fav analogy from RSD on this goes like: Imagine your boss at work throws a party and it's full of supermodels. He says "if you don't have sex with any of these girls, I'll give you a million dollar bonus and a promotion to your dream job where you'll be paid more money than you can imagine for the rest of your life…all you have to do is not have sex with any of these girls." And then you go to the party and all the girls are throwing themselves at you, and they're all 100% your type of girl, gorgeous, fun, great personalities, etc. and they're all grabbing your cock as you walk by, cornering you, begging you to fuck them, rubbing their tits on your chest, begging for your dick…but you REALLY want that job, you can't do it, your boss is up on the balcony looking down watching you.

    But then one of those girls pulls you behind a pillar where he can't see you and she says "He'll never know, trust me, he can't see you." and grabs your dick…at that point you're going to go "……fuck it, I'm in!!" and fuck her brains out lol

    That's why isolation is important. :)

    "And I just blink, with a laugh ‘WHAT? I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS. You know….' I look at the 7 in the eye ‘…cuddle on the couch, and talk about feelings and shit.’ The 7 is like ‘yeah, you want to be friends, eh?’ I give a slight nod ‘the best of friends.’"

    This is all SUPER solid. Again, you have great improvisational flirty shit when you're into it lol But this will all blow you out hardcore. You're basically dancing in front of the bank you want to rob going "I'mma roooooob youuuuu" while the cops are standing in front of the doors.

    "Fat pepto bismol is quick to say that all of them are married."

    Probably a lie, at least one of them is likely single or just has a boyfriend…but either way, it's completely irrelevant. Your thought process should be "Doesn't matter, I'm going to stick to the gameplan and act as if she's single" and her thought process is "I WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET RID OF THIS GUY!!!" at this point.

    "However, during this time, I can’t find where the 7 is. Probably with some player."

    lol Pink Shirt was worked up into a shitty enough mood that she probably told her 7 friend "Let's go" and dragged her out of the bar. 7 friend can't say "no I want to stay to suck some dick" if she's married so she has to go along with it and just dream about you when she plays with herself that night lol

    It's a dick move on my part, but often if I meet a girl I'm into but get cockblocked (by her friends or logistics etc.), I'll sabotage the set's mood SO bad and rile the cockblocks up SO hard that I know no other guy there is going to be able to get the girl I'm into that night, in hopes that I'll run into her in a few weeks elsewhere in the nightlife scene and get another chance. lol

    "Mission failed."

    Nah, you did decent working with what the universe threw at you. A 5 set with your target married and her BFF being a major cockblock hater is fucking tough. The key thing to take away from it is that you DID get the 7 interested in you and horny etc. Like you said you're just a mere mortal lol It's good that you tried that set, that's the kind of thing you learn a lot from…in the future when you run into a 2-set where the BFF is a little lukewarm and your target is single, you'll be like "pffft fuck, this is EASY compared to that other shit I did."

    "In retrospect, I don’t know why I didn’t stay. Needless to say, she flaked :D "

    lol You could've just stuck with her and introduced your buddy to her chubby friend and probably taken her home.

    You have to remember your environment changes logistics though…like you're in a ski town full of people just there for the night probably. So logically those two girls probably have a hotel room together, which means you need a buddy for her friend VS in a normal city where they might both be locals and can go home separately so you can steal her away or send her friend home early. Also the girls partying on vacation are looking to get laid, not keep in touch via txt (unless you build a really deep connection and shit, I've done it but I hate keeping in touch with a girl I know I'm not going to see for like a year lol), so in that environment it's better to go for the escalation and pull instead of a phone number that will likely flake because, well, they want cock not a txt (they aren't thinking "well he can txt me at 2am and come over").

    No comment on your last two sets there lol That was just drunk shit. :)

    "I mean, the equation just seems to be ‘do cool/bold/fun things…people like you more.’"

    Pretty much lol There are actually a bunch of psychological things behind this. Like when you do something cool/bold/fun, even if it goes bad and the girls hate you or whatever, you're setting the precedent of "tonight, it's okay for us to all do crazy shit, look I just made an ass out of myself, so now you have permission to make an ass out of yourself and do stuff you wouldn't normally do". It's like when someone brings a box of donuts to the office…as soon as one person takes one, everyone else feels like they have permission to.

    That's often the role I play in my group, depending on the type of guys I'm out with. I'll say "Well, I'm going to go make an ass out of myself, brb" and go approach some chick and get shot down and come back and say "wow, she hated me, I said I wanted to do her in the bum and then never call her again. How did that NOT work? :D " and laugh it off and instantly the rest of my group is like "well we can't do worse than YaReally just did, okay let's have fun" and from there we all have a fun night.

    If I DON'T do the intial approach and get the ball rolling, we'll stand there in our "chode crystal" (circle of dudes facing eachother pretending to talk to eachother but scanning the room for hot girls, often with our drinks up at our chest, looking like the least fun and most intimidated guys in the universe lol) for an hour+ until one of the other guys gets drunk enough to sloppily approach something.

    EMBRACE this role. Look at it like "I am the only one with the balls and skills to get the ball rolling on our night, and even though these guys have NO IDEA that I'm the reason they're going to loosen up and have a fun night, maybe even the greatest night of their lives, I'm going to get the party started because I'm "THAT" guy."

    I've turned clubs, parties, etc. from low-key "everyone is socially nervous and pretentious and scared to embarrass themselves and interact with eachother so they stick to their social groups and the dance floor is empty" situations (like how a club is around 9-10pm) to epic parties with this mindset of just going up and forcing people to socialize and interact and dragging groups of girls to the dance floor and introducing random guys and girls etc. Once I start the ball rolling, everyone gets permission to have fun, and the vibe in the party suddenly changes.

    Here's a great demonstration of it that I just remembered:

    Note that if that guy hadn't had the balls to ignore social pressure and embarrass himself and risk social judgement, and that second guy hadn't decided "I'm going to support this dude and join him" (this is the role your chode-crystal friends will play after you get the ball rolling, or the role of girls you drag to the dance floor, etc.), that festival would have stayed a sit-down boring listening festival.

    But because he put himself out there and gave everyone else permission to do the same…well, you can see the result. :)

    You can BE that guy, and do it through the conscious socially savvy intentional execution of a proven social strategy. I know because I've been him myself. It's a rush to look around at a party and know "I made this happen." It's like this scene from Project X on the roof:

    Where it's almost a moment of silence as you look around at the chaos and realize "*I* did this…wow."

    This is why guys who look at pickup as just "you should be chill James Bond and lean against the bar and just wait for the hottest girl in the bar to see your custom-made suit and approach you and sneak off with her into the shadows" are limiting themselves. They don't see the potential social power this skillset gives you…they don't see the bigger picture and the wider scope of what being good at this stuff can allow you to do. You can live nights that other people can't even dream of…like you can't even tell them about your night because it's so outside of their reality that someone could have a night like that outside of a scripted Hollywood movie.

    At that point you start to look around at the people around you and you can SEE how stifled they are and how trapped they are by their own insecurities and egos, and in a way you feel bad for them. From there you start to realize that when you approach a set, you ARE giving them value, whether it goes well or not, you're helping them escape from their social prison. You're unlocking the gate and saying "Hey, it's okay to be free tonight. Love me, hate me, just feel and express SOMETHING."

    Sorry, that went into more "woo-woo" shit than I meant to lol It's an important topic to me.

    "I also don’t even care if someone says ‘that girl HATED you’ or whatever. Because in my mind I’m just like ‘yeah, who have you talked to cold…ever? You warm approaching pussy piece of shit.’ :D "

    lol keep that mindset. :) Hell, it's funny when a girl hates you. Sometimes I'll try to get slapped just for fun. Nothing that happens in a bar should be taken seriously…that's why I don't get into fights, there's just nothing in a bar that's that epic and life-changing that I can get riled up about it. It's just a playground. Sometimes people take things too seriously, but I have the social skills to chill them out about it and my frame of "nahhh, this really isn't that big a deal" is strong enough that pretty much everyone caves to it. And if they don't, cool, I leave. No biggie, I can go to a bar up the street or I'll be out tomorrow night chatting up some more chicks and having more adventures so who cares?

    For most guys rejection is devestating, because they only cold-approach ONE girl in like, MONTHS of going out. But when you foster the mindset of abundance and realize that you can cold-approach every girl in the room every single night out if you want, you just don't attach as much importance to rejections and you'll find yourself doing stuff like getting shot down and immediately turning to the girls beside that girl and going "wow that girl shot me down like crazy, I need a hug" and they'll love you lol I'll often use rejections and awkward moments that happened as openers or improvised routines/stories in set…"wow I'm glad you laughed at that, this other girl slapped me earlier! She was SO mad lol"

    "‘yeah, it’s been cool getting to know you better. You’re actually a really cool guy, I mean, I’d date you.’ Now, in my mind I actually know that she knew me the exact same before now (we didn’t interact particularly much)…so, I mean…it just seems to be me starting to change."

    Yup. :) Tyler likes to tell the story, and it gels with my own experience, that especially in the initial few years of learning this stuff, if people in your social circle don't see you for a couple months, when they run into you again they're often like "wow, you're so different" or "you've changed so much" and they mean it as a compliment.

    Note, again, that you haven't grown 2 feet taller. Physically you're the same dude you were when you felt like you were the tag-along guy of the group and 5s were sneering at you on the dance floor…all you've done since then is stopped holding back your personality and embraced expressing yourself, and consciously learned how to express your personality in an optimal way. And you will improve a thousand times more than you have so far…you can't even imagine what you'll be like in a few years.

    A few YEARS. I mean, ya, all the nights out where not much happens or you get shot down suck, but man, imagine, if you spend a couple years of your life doing this (and it's not even torture, a lot of the time it's just fun and having little adventures and gaining stories and experiences), you could spend the entire rest of your life on a path that a couple years ago you probably thought was just for "other guys". It's like working out. Sure you aren't going to lose 50lbs and gain a bunch of muscles from a week of working out…but if you plug away at the gym, hitting it consistently and making little tiny improvements…over a couple of years you can transform your body into something you never imagined possible as a fatty-fat.

    This is just working your social muscles. :) I literally can't even relate to my old self, like the mindsets and outlooks I had and the vision I had for my life and future and potential and all that…it's like talking about some other person entirely. I'm actually thankful for the shit I went through with all the lonely nights in my teens/early-adulthood and the bad acne I had for most of my life etc., because as much as that shit sucked, it helped me hit rock-bottom enough to find pickup and start this journey to being way more socially adept than I ever would've been if I had had an easier life.

    "I actually noticed that when a set is going well for me…for example, the 5.5 in the first set — I ran into her several times and had good times — I tend to just say ‘who cares, I want to challenge myself’ and immediately start looking for hotter/better girls."

    You're probably a Thrill of the Hunt guy:

    http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?2541-Thrill-of-the-Hunt-men-vs-Pleasure-of-Sex-men

    I'm the same way. I'll pass up an easy lay with an average girl to get shot down by a hotter girl. I'd rather go months without getting laid and then bang a 9-10 than get laid by 5s every night. This is part of why I tend to focus on fuckbuddy relationships…when I bang a girl, she's hot, fun, good in bed etc. because I've screened out and passed up the girls who weren't, so of course I want to keep her around as an ongoing lay.

    If I fuck an average/shitty chick, I'll bust a nut and then be like "ughhh I regret this entirely" and be looking at the clock hoping she leaves soon and then go "ahh shit" when she txts me wanting to hook up again the next week lol Whereas my high sex drive Pleasure of Sex Natural buddy will bang her every night of the week and brag about getting laid all the time because he just loves sex, doesn't matter what she looks like (within reason, although some drunk nights…….lol).

    "“at first, people are going to hate on you for trying to improve yourself. But that’s good, because now it means you’re on their radar, and the reason you’re on your radar is because you -could- possibly surpass them or become cooler than them in some way. Even your best friends don’t tend to like this very much. So, expect lots of shit talking about game, and contradictory bullshit about what’s ‘organic’ and what’s ‘artificial.’ Then, people are going to grudgingly accept your success — maybe they’ll just attribute it to luck or whatever. But eventually, if you keep on with it, they’ll ask you for tips and accept it.’"

    This is DEAD-ON. That guy is speaking from experience. I went through the exact same thing. Crabs in a bucket and all that. I got hate on like crazy from some friends who wouldn't accept that I was breaking out of the social role they felt I should stay in…but eventually the strongest frame wins and they came to accept that this is who I am now.

    When you change yourself, it forces other people to look at themselves and go "fuck, I need him to stop improving himself because if HE can do it, that means I could do it, but I'm not doing it so either I'm lazy or incompetant and his improving himself is forcing me to acknowledge that and that makes me feel bad so I need to sabotage him so I can feel better about choosing to be mediocre and live a mundane life." Fat girls who get in shape but have fat friends run into the same thing…their fat friends will shit on them and try to sabotage them and talk shit because their friend getting in shape means they could do the same but forces them to acknowledge that they don't have the willpower and determination that their friend has.

    Like the Ghandi quote goes: "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win."

    Anyway, good stuff all around. On the subject of alcohol, here are two things to consider:

    1) It's okay to drink, the same way it's okay to eat McDonald's. Just understand that, if you get drunk, you're going to hamper yourself at learning Game, the same way if you eat McDonald's and go over your calories for the day, you're going to hamper yourself at losing weight. You can make up for it, and having cheat days now and then won't revert you back to AFC or make you suddenly become 300lbs, but just handle it responsibly.

    Your friends will want you to come out and party a bunch, and for THEM, partying means getting drunk, because that's how most people loosen up and and block out their fear of social judgement and pressure, by drinking enough to shut their brain down so they can access that part of their personality that you're learning to access sober. So now and then, like on a ski-trip, you're going to want to get drunk with them and have a drinking night, the same way if your friends went out for dinner at an unhealthy place and wanted you to come, you'd probably rather go instead of be like "oh I have to stay home and eat celery sorry". But when you go, you know eating that food means you're going to be slow and lethargic and probably too tired to hit the gym that night, and when you go get drunk you know that you can pretty much chalk that night off in terms of sharpening your Game skills.

    Just make sure that the majority of the time, you're working on Gaming sober, the same way you'd make sure that the majority of the time, you're eating healthy…otherwise you'll fall off track on achieving your goals and it's hard to get the momentum going again.

    Jackie Chan said something like "I can eat ice cream and donuts, it just means that the next day I have to do more stairmaster" lol Look at this the same way…if you go have a shit-faced night, promise yourself that you'll have a sober night where you open an extra few sets.

    2) THE HOTTEST GIRLS IN THE BAR DON'T GET SHIT-FACED. This blew my mind when I realized it lol Pay attention when you're out and watch how much girls drink. You'll find two things about the 9s and 10s…1) they don't get shit-faced, and 2) they'll often only be there for a couple hours and leave long before 2am. Those girls are so turbo hot that they know everyone is watching them and for the sake of their reputations they can't afford to get hammered and throw up in the bathroom or have some sloppy makeout with an ugly dude on the dance floor and look like a slutty whore, because people will remember them and they're often building a reputation in the nightlife where they can get access to better social scenes and parties and higher-value social circles and men, so they basically just come in, make an appearance, have a couple drinks, dance and get their validation high, and then bail before they do anything stupid.

    So if you've ever been sober while your buddy was shitfaced and seen how that looks first-hand, THAT'S what you look like approaching those girls drunk lol If you're drunk too, you can't really tell how drunk your buddy is…but when you're stone-cold sober (AND worried about causing a bad scene or being embarrassed because that's what 10s are worried about), your buddy even a little tipsy, has a big neon "I'M DRUNK AND OBNOXIOUS AND GOING TO EMBARRASS YOU" sign over his head.

    The less hot girls will get shit-faced, and there's a certain subset of 9s who aren't quite 10s and are resentful of that and don't understand what makes a girl a 10 so they try to make up for it by being as drunk and slutty as possible (but usually these girls are massive insecurity-cases and drama etc.).

    But the smokin hot turbos that turn every guy in the room's head, generally stay pretty sober. So when your buddy is trying to get you drunk, he's actually unknowingly sabotaging your chances with the hottest girls in the room. He has no idea because to him those girls are untouchable and he could never have a chance with them, so it doesn't matter if he's drunk because he will never approach them in a million years…but you're the guy learning the skills TO approach AND GET those girls. You're playing a completely different game than your drunk buddy is when you go to the bar. :)

    Here's an energetic short speech by Julien about it:

    In conclusion: Good on you for going out. Now do it again. ;) Re-read my last FR analysis about introducing sexual stuff to your interactions and try applying it. Also add qualifying to your "I love you" stuff. See how that stuff changes your interactions this weekend! Have fun!



Boring Women

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on January 19, 2013 at 11:17 am
Original Link

Just one more thing to add. As I get better at game, it becomes clear to me from personal experience that “Attraction” has very little to do with having interesting conversations and more about understanding how a woman’s inner desires are sparked.

You can have great conversations with a woman who sees you only as a “friend”. The point of this is how to spark attraction to get the woman to open up and build rapport and comfort.


  • YaReally
    on January 19, 2013 at 12:09 pm
    Original Link

    ““Attraction” has very little to do with having interesting conversations and more about understanding how a woman’s inner desires are sparked.”

    Very accurate. Also your other comment in here is full of gold and guys should be reading it. Solid stuff.

    This notion that conversations don’t matter unlocks a whole nother level to game. You can bang a girl without saying a word to her or speaking in a different language or just saying random nonsense or in a too-loud-to-hear environment etc when you understand how little words mean and how much more important it is to simply spike their Buying Temperature and run them through the emotions that build attraction.

    Try opening and getting a makeout without saying a word…just use facial expressions, eye contact, kino, etc


    • popups
      on January 19, 2013 at 10:57 pm
      Original Link

      Yareally, did I understand correctly on one of your responses to another post…you have a gf now ?
      :(


      • YaReally
        on January 20, 2013 at 2:22 am
        Original Link

        I’ve had one for about 2.5 years.


        • Anonymous
          on January 20, 2013 at 12:50 pm
          Original Link

          say it aint so


          • YaReally
            on January 21, 2013 at 9:42 am
            Original Link

            lol wow relax guys, although my penis thanks you for being concerned about it :)

            She doesn’t sleep around and she knows I sleep around. I see her once or twice a week where we do romantical relationship stuff like holding hands in the grocery store and cuddling up watching movies and sharing our day and all that. And I spend certain holidays with her (Valentine’s Day, XMas, because those are romantic holidays but not New Years or Halloween because those are party holidays and she doesn’t go to bars or drink).

            She’s my primary and comes before other girls. But on the weekends I go out with friends and game new girls and I hook up with those girls either that night or during the week sometime when it’s convenient for me. The girls I hook up with know about my Primary and that they’re Secondary to her priority-wise, and my Primary knows that I hook up with other girls when I’m on my own time but also knows that she’s more important than they are.

            She’s not a special snowflake, she’s just a normal girl who I happen to click with extremely well so she gets to be a larger part of my life than other girls. If she became too much drama or hassled me too much about other girls and I was forced to choose between monogamy with her or playing the field it wouldn’t even be a question in my mind…monogamy with a girl is just not something I offer.

            I plan to make some lifestyle changes (travel etc) in 2013 that don’t really gel with having a gf so i’ll probably have to end things down the road…but I don’t think that far ahead in relationships, I just enjoy the person and appreciate the time we get together while we have it.

            …and I use a condom so she doesn’t get preggo lol

            You can read more about the YaReally Trifecta (lol) arrangement and how I manage it and set it up here:

            http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/declining-intimacy-vs-declining-attraction/#comment-401912



The Mind Of The Manboob: Hugo Schwyzer Case Study

Original Link

via Heartiste

aspic
on January 18, 2013 at 1:16 am
Original Link

Tyler jumps the shark:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxWuREjuLAE?list=UUD4xqm6vJ3K4ntppsE1jL4g&w=560&h=315%5D

Check out that hamster!


  • YaReally
    on January 18, 2013 at 11:08 am
    Original Link

    lol if by jumping the shark you mean dropping truth bombs. This is a solid face-rape of the Madonna/whore complex most guys have.

    The responses to the vid are predictably funny: “well he only dates those LA club sluts, MY girls would NEVER do that!!!”

    This is a video that if you 1) don’t get laid a lot, and 2) aren’t getting laid by legit hot 8+ girls (vs average 6-8 chicks), you will 100% reject and get butt-hurt over. This’ll probably be one of his least popular videos because the red pill is a tough swallow lol

    I’ll probably just link this the next time I see someone’s Madonna/whore complex kicking in.


    • YaReally
      on January 18, 2013 at 11:27 am
      Original Link

      Tiny follow-up: I lost a recent fuckbuddy this week because she met a dude she wants to get serious with. I texted her joking around about them fucking and she texted me back that no she’s not going to have sex with him because she actually has feelings for him…so she’s going to make him wait and go on some dates etc so he invests and doesn’t think she’s a slut.

      This girl fucked me while we were both stone cold sober, literally 10 minutes after we met. The 2nd time we hooked up I raw-dogged her in the ass too (I regret that lol we were hammered, bad YaReally use a condom jeeze)

      Her new dude, who she may end up marrying and starting a family with, will never know or believe that his girl was capable of that. He’ll be on here going “well you guys just fuck sluts, MY girl wouldn’t do that, she was raised in a good family and has all these values and–”

      I’ve seen this situation play out SO many times over the years lol. She “broke it off” with me but asked if its okay if she keeps my # to be friends. She doesn’t want to be friends, she wants to know that I’m still there to fuck her if she needs a no-strings lay while she tests this guy or if their relationship strains or she gets bored.

      Why will she do this with me? Because she knows I won’t judge her. :)

      Soon as guys fully swallow the red pill and accept that nice sweet Janice at work is cut from the same cloth the slut sucking dick at the bathroom in the bar is, a whole ‘nother world opens up and you can never go back to clinging to those last blue pill beliefs because you’ve seen too much of the matrix.

      I imagine that’s a big part of why guys so stubbornly reject Tyler’s video…because they subconsciously know that once they cross over there’s no turning back. A lot of players bang a bunch of sluts but still think that one day they’re going to find a Madonna to marry and start a family with…acknowledging that the Madonna/whore are the same rips away the Disney ending they secretly hoped for and forces them to re-evaluate all their beliefs about life, love, relationships, and their future. It’s easier to stay in denial than fully swallow and embrace the red pill.


      • Anon
        on January 18, 2013 at 6:56 pm
        Original Link

        So a guy who wants to have a family should just be non-judgemental and marry a slut?

        Guys are not allowed to weed out sluts?

        All things being equal, if you had a real urge to start making mini-yareallys under the institution of marriage (which sole interest is that your kids have a lineage and don’t become bastards), would you go for the madonna or the whore?

        Since things are never equal, would you marry a slut who has a great personality? Don’t you have a natural itch bacause of all the cocks and all the cum and all the guys who defiled her.

        I pissed on a girl last week, would you marry her if you ever meet her? She’s a great girl and I’m sure she will make a great mother.

        Don’t you agree with H and many others that sluts are high infidelity risk (way way higher than virgins)?

        Your and tyler are great PUAd but your idelogy is a recipe for extinction of the species. That’s why I don’t read RSD bullshit. H is the only PUA who keeps it real.


        • YaReally
          on January 19, 2013 at 11:35 am
          Original Link

          aww someone’s jimmies are rustled lol

          You’re missing the point. The Madonna and the whore are the same. The whore has just not been in enough situations that make it easy/appealing and consequence-free enough to explore her whoriness.

          You can marry a “Madonna”, but a few years in when she’s bored of you and goes out on a girls’ night out with her friends, I will piss on her, because she’s the same as the whore. Get it?

          You’re creating a mythological divide between two types of women that doesn’t actually exist in reality, because it’s too depressing for your brain to accept that people are all the same. It’s the same way people think “Nice Guys” are different from “Bad Boys”. They’re not, a Nice Guy can become a Bad Boy, he just hasn’t had the right situation to foster that…but present him with that situation (make him a 30yo who gets raped in court by two ex-wives and has no success with women besides that and hand him Game) and he will be a Bad Boy. Because the Nice Guy and the Bad Boy are the same.

          Your brain will continue to reject the notion that there’s a magical Madonna out there who’s unicorn powers make her immune to cheating on you because your ego’s insecurity wants the little fantasy-land that you can find a girl who’s incapable of cheating on you and has a low count and is pure and wonderful and you can have faith that everything will be okay because you don’t want to accept reality.

          It’s the same reason people believe in Heaven, because the idea that there’s “nothing” after death is too scary and bleak to accept and removes all purpose from life. It’s the same reason people believe in karma and Hell, because the idea that people can do shitty things and not be punished for those things is too depressing to accept and removes all reason to be good.

          But at the end of the day it’s all just fantasy and your ego protecting you from reality…the same way a blue piller will deny all our red pill knowledge.

          Accepting this concept is the final swallow of the red pill. You can do fine without swallowing it, but understand that you’re choosing to eat a pretend steak in the matrix instead of accepting an imperfect reality. :)


  • Matthew King (King A)
    on January 18, 2013 at 9:44 pm
    Original Link

    Owen needs to take a pill. He has the affect of a fifth grade boy on Red Bull and Pop Rocks. In another life he’d be running comic book conventions.

    No, a woman won’t put away sluttish things for a half-pint twerp like “Tyler Durden.” It makes sense that he would counsel for us to all just get used to Whore’s Gonna Whore. It’s his only option. One has to have some authority and stature to tell a woman to behave, and for her to listen. The ill opinion of a man she respects has sway over her behavior. But since Owen Cook is impotent in that regard, he assumes the only way to get square with one’s environment is to conform to it. Is this supposed to be alpha? Negotiating his surrender to the slutocracy as the braver, more self-aware move? Because otherwise we are sexless drones who just can’t comprehend the majestically complicated motives of women?

    This is how men who were never really men become de facto femmcunts. They start believing themselves to be authorities on the sexual difference, and yet they never lose the awe that the pedestal inspires in them (if only you understood a woman’s plight, you’d realize they have to be sluts, but you don’t get them like I do). They just beta-orbit the SATC/Lena Dunham Girls philosophy and become white-knight defense attorneys on their behalf, sublimating whorishness into cheesy sociology disguised as advanced “pick up” tips and self-help blather.

    A man steps into an environment and commandeers it to his preferences. He bends his surroundings to his will. Betas and pansies seek strategies about how to manipulate what’s already there, making compromises at every step and rationalizing it as How Men Must Act To Get Pussy.

    Witness the scavengers picking over better men’s leftovers. Those better men say one word, make one look of disapproval, and women change their lives over it — especially young women (see PetiteOlive’s comment above). This is just unfathomable to sloppy-seconds-types, so they preach what they know: all women must be whores because those are the women they know. But the reason why they settle for and pedestalize these slovenly types is because their superiors have already demanded and received a higher quality specimen.

    So regale us with the Jerry Springer stories and sensationalist claims (What woman hasn’t been in a threesome! C’mon, who hasn’t blown a guy for a ride home?). They are interesting from an anthropological point of view: not all of us live in the trailer park/ghetto. The world is not the carousel, the carousel is a feminist invention based on the idea that women are the equivalent of men. Only an obedient little lickspittle loser — a sycophant to the prevailing mores like Hugo Schweizer himself — hoping for the crumbs of female affection, would advocate that other men think exclusively in low terms just to make some easy drunk slut marginally easier to pry open.

    Matt


    • aleister
      on January 20, 2013 at 5:56 pm
      Original Link

      Owen is **** weak.


      • YaReally
        on January 21, 2013 at 9:50 am
        Original Link

        Soon as you guys help as many guys get laid as he has, I’ll be sure to praise your videos instead.

        You know what Owen is writing about you? Nothing. Because he’s busy helping men change their lives and bringing the next generation up to not become bitter old MGTOWs lol


        • Matthew King (King A)
          on January 22, 2013 at 7:57 am
          Original Link

          YaReally: 2 + 2 = 5.

          Others, who have encountered first grade math: I don’t think you’re–

          YaReally: Ya really it is. lol RSD has been doing some really cool stuff with basic arithmetic lately. Check out this overcaffinated video where he explains it. lol http://www.youtube.com/?=TylersNewMath lol

          Others/Haters/Omegas: Still, I’m pretty sure 2 + 2 = 4.

          YaReally: lol go get laid. After you coach a thousand lonely betas on how to flirt, then you can talk about math lol I prolly fucked your gf lol

          Others, enlightened: When are you going to start a blog already, bro?

          YaReally: lol right after I fuck the shit out of the pythagorean theorem lol Check out this videolol

          Panties start dropping all around the club like leaves in autumn.


          • YaReally
            on January 22, 2013 at 1:02 pm
            Original Link

            It’ll all make sense when you start getting laid. But the first step will be to leave your basement and teh Internetz. Don’t worry, there aren’t really bears outside. :)



Mister Softee

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on January 18th, 2013 at 11:39 am
Original Link

“your personality is still going to be rationalized to fit a woman’s psychological ideal.”

There’s an old PUA saying that goes something like: “Before a woman has sex with you, she’ll look for any reason NOT to. After she’s had sex with you, she’ll look for any reason to justify having sex with you.”

It’s 100% true and it’s why it’s VERY easy to go from fuckbuddy to girlfriend…because she’s looking FOR shit that would justify her being with you so you just throw her a few pebbles of boyfriendy behavior and her hamster goes “yes!!! I knew he wasn’t a player, I don’t sleep with players, he’s really a Nice Guy which is what I consciously believe I want despite my sub-conscious behavior!”


Women Prefer Taken Men

Original Link

via Heartiste

ar10308
on January 16, 2013 at 12:05 pm
Original Link

So buying a wedding band and wearing it out is the Game technique that gives a massive boost in DHV? Good to know…

[Heartiste: Yes. But the boost in DHV may be outweighed by the wife's allies in the divorce industrial complex.]


  • ar10308
    on January 16, 2013 at 12:15 pm
    Original Link

    @Heartiste,
    Wedding bands are cheap and you don’t need a wife to get or wear one. It also gives you an ever better excuse why you can’t take her back to your place…


    • dannyfrom504
      on January 18, 2013 at 9:14 am
      Original Link

      my boy did that. got a used wedding band for $50. on nights that he went out and wore it, he noticed the extra attention from women. many women are DTF and hamsterize the fuck with, “i don’t worry about him getting attached.” all it can be is sex, and since you’re married, HAVE to hook up at her place or get a hotel room, which is seedy so girls LOVE it.

      they get to be a bad girl without worrying about any real commitment. hell, a guy would be stupid for NOT using this to his advantage.


      • YaReally
        on January 18, 2013 at 11:14 am
        Original Link

        “many women are DTF and hamsterize the fuck with, “i don’t worry about him getting attached.” all it can be is sex”

        This is an important point. Guys don’t realize how clingy they and 90% of guys are, especially with hotter girls. We joke about girls being “Stage 5 Clingers” but guys are just as bad if not worse because most guys are so desperate for sex that they need to cling with a death grip to any pussy they can get.

        The ring on your buddy tells girls “I’m fun, but just for sex” the same way my girl’s photograph on my nightstand does.

        When the girl doesn’t know I have a girlfriend or when I’m single, I set this same frame by telling them I’m dead inside (in a joking way) and joke that I’m going to call them 24/7 leaving them voicemails about how much a love them and can’t live without them. Usually this gets them telling me their experiences with clingy-ass guys, and we laugh about people like that and then the frame of this being a casual sexual fling is set and I have a new fuckbuddy.

        This is just disqualifying yourself from being a Provider, essentially.



YaReally
on January 16, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Original Link

My GF gave me a framed picture of herself to keep on my nightstand. I’m pretty sure she figured it would scare off other women. And when I got a GF I figured telling girls I had one would scare them off.

Turns out it actually helps so much (not just in getting laid but in keeping the relationships to drama-free casual fuckbuddy situs (“sorry I can’t go to your xmas party with you, I already have a girlfriend for that shit remember?”)) that if she broke up with me I would probably keep her photo on my nightstand and keep telling girls I was still with her lol

George Costanza knew what was up:

lol



Hotter Women Equals Better Sex: Science Weighs In

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on January 12, 2013 at 4:59 am
Original Link

OP: Makes sense!

Field Report, Friday:

Today is a group day. Have a huge group going downtown, we’re gonna hang out, mingle, etc. Cool thing is, we’ve got three chicks who are a lock to be down there with all of us. I’m thinking ‘good, a home base maybe.’

Another friend of mine — let’s just call my PUA-ey friend ‘Mark’ and my other friend ‘Roy,’ and my ‘naysayer’ friend ‘Rich.’ Anyway, the point is, Roy — hearing about these exploits (I trust him to keep them confidential and he’s a good guy), wants to join us in them. Rich — the guy who says sarging is gay and always have a group — is the one responsible for getting us the chicks. I invited a few, but one was ‘sick,’ the other was a ‘maybe’ (she’s a 4 so whatevz), and the last — which brings her group of 4 chicks everywhere — decided to somewhere else.

Me, Roy, and Mark arrive to venue 1. We walk to the back where live music plays. Rich has already engaged a target and is talking with her, sitting down. I get the hint that he wants to be alone, but for whatever reason, Mark lingers. Roy just has no fucking clue — his first instinct is to drink. I decide not to babysit him, and I get to the task of opening sets. First set, on my way back to the main room. 3 girls, hipster 6.5 and two 7′s —- I actually like the 6.5 better because of her style (nah just kidding, I saw her first).

I give them the drug dealer opener — I’m sort of pleased with my delivery. So now, they do the same thing all of them do, apprehensively turn a bit to consider. Almost no enthusiasm. In the middle of their explanations, I transition to hairdresser bit. Still tepid — she’s like ‘no.’ And I mean, she’s like ‘-NO-’ I continue moving forward, trying to engage the group.

“Now that i have you all here, what about a green mowhawk….?” Blah blah blah she’s hot, blah blah blah I want to trust her. The 6.5 sort of cuts me off, fairly quickly ‘yeah no, don’t get the mohawk. I like how you have it now.’ But it’s flatly delivered. By this point I practically feel blown out, but fuck it — you know?

I launch into another little routine

“You’re the bad ones, and she’s the good one. I know she’s wearing the leather jacket, but she’s the good one.”

There’s laughter here, but it’s kind of nervous. I fucked up somewhere along the way — OR they’re just not digging me. I can’t think of anything else to say in the face of such a neutral, bordering on several IOD’s, set. So…I remember what Mark said “Listen, if you have to leave…don’t say something stupid like ‘nice meeting you,’ because that’s an admission of defeat. Just say like…’cheers, the night is young.’ Never communicate defeat.” So, I do just that ‘cheers the night is young,’ and I eject. I realize that A2 is probably going to be a significant challenge — shit, the Hook point is probably still a challenge, despite whatever luck I had.

I walk into the bar, make a quiet — SLOW — circuit. I try to look around, distracted as I move. I notice this set of filipino/asian girls. Why the shit not? Logistically, it’s the only set that makes sense. None of them are above a 5.5, so who gives a shit.

I pull the same routine — phew, are they not having it. Like, just not having it. I plow on, I get to the DHV story, I do the whole ‘good v bad.’ Nothing much — they seem uncomfortable. I figure ‘hey, either they just don’t like me, or I can work on coming across less -awk-”

Next set, back in the live music area. I approach Rich — who is still talking with a girl, she’s like a 5 (puffy cheeks, but hipster style). Mark is STILL standing there near them. He talks to me for a second. I notice a set of girls — can’t see them well — I step away to open.

Same routine, there’s three of them. A 7, a tiny little 5, and a 7.5. Here it goes. Turns out, the 7 (target) is actually a hairdresser. Cool! I transition from green mohawk talk to explaining that my hairdresser friend is crazy — ‘are you crazy like her?’ She’s quick to say ‘oh yeah we’re crazy’ blah blah blah. I tell the story, I add what Ya said to add — like the part of about not hitting him because he’s too ugly and the guy apologizing. She seems to go with it and laugh, but my gut says ‘polite.’ I ask her what she does for fun (yeah probably lame as phuck, but whatevs). She talks about how she goes here, and I just kind of laugh with a shrug. Then, she says she plays Soul Calibur. She asks if I know what that is…I say yeah, I used to play that — and other fighting games —- with an ex-gf all the time.

By now, the 7.5 has turned away, and Mark comes in to engage the 5 — cool. I continue talking. I say ‘well we could play sometime, but….you’re probably a bad loser.’ And she’s like ‘yes, I am!’ She actually gets the attention of her other friend ‘aren’t I a really bad loser?’ blah blah blah. And I’m like ‘yeah, it’d be cool to play, but I don’t want you throwing the controller everywhere.’ And she’s like ‘well I don’t curse usually…’ I’m like ‘psh…you know you do.’ She’s like ‘well only when I lose!’

Now, some other chick comes in — also hot, like a 7.5 — to talk. She seems pretty unimpressed with me. I try to include her, yadda yadda yadda, before I know it, they’re all walking to the dancefloor, save the 5 who is still talking with my friend. Mentally I’m just like ‘goddammit.’

I ain’t done yet.
I walk back into the quieter area, and I open a set. Bad news — dim lighting made a 4.5 and a 5.5 look like a 6 and 7 in profile. So they turn, and I instantly am like ‘man FML.’

But I run the routine — it’s going pretty well I guess. They’re both hairdressers — go figure, I’m on fire. Fairly soon I run out of things to say, and not that I’m some sort of Don Juan who could have fucked them if I tried, but I just lost steam. I didn’t want to fuck them, so I just kinda maintained some friendly convo for a few minutes. I noticed that the 5.5 touched me several times, but she could have been drunk — and I didn’t care. So I eject soon enough.

Time to change venues!

Venue 2, right across.
Walk in and open a set of three girls. 6, 7, 6.5. It’s icy as phuck. If the first said seemed extremely neutral, this one is borderline ‘naaah not interested’ in every iota of body language and tone. But I move it through the material — at the very least they can be practice.

Whatevs, time to keep on moving. We see people we know soon enough (this is what I hate about downtown, I always see at least 5-15 people I know, and they distract me from the MISSION!). So, there’s these two girls…one’s like a 4 (kinda chubby but she tries to dress nice and is uber feminine and is super nice), and the other is like a 5.5. Me and Mark make some idle chit-chat, and the 4.5 compliments me on how I look — handsome blah blah blah blah.

Next set after that timesuck is three girls. One’s a 7, the other two are like 6.5′s. I do the drug dealer line, and then the one in the center- — 6.5 — is like ‘wait do YOU have weed?’ she gets in my face and grabs my blazer. I notice she’s sloppy. Goddammit, a drunk chick. I say ‘all of it. All the world’s weed.’ She’s like ‘yeah right! You don’t have any weed.’ Then I shrug and am Iike ‘I don’t even know what weed is.’ Then she’s just like ‘get the fuck out then!” And she pushes me away, but then I turn around, faking shock, and she’s like ‘I’m…I’m just kidding.’

So, I blow through hairdresser routine, DHV story — it’s some polite conversation. I pull the good v bad card. I get to know what all of them do. They’re lukewarm. They all tell me what they do, and the 6.5 legit says something that intrigues me — I tell them I’m almost done with law school ,and she says she almost went to law school to do environmental law. That’s a subject near and dear to my heart. So I’m like ‘wouldn’t it be some shit if crazy 6.5 was the girl of my dreams, hahahahaha.’

I decide to switch targets to the 6.5 (whatever, she’s drunk, may be easier, she’s also kino’d me several times — not that that means shit when she’s sorta hammered). So I’m like, “who’s your favorite ninja turtle?” She’s like “ninja turtles, what the fuck?” I turn away from her a bit “Whaaaaaat…well, I thought you were her, but maybe not.” Her friend intercepts and is kind of advocating for her a little bit. Then 6.5 is like ‘okay, okay, Leonardo.’ And I’m like ‘okay…well that earns you another question….how about animals?” It’s hard to hear, and her answer was about kittens—she’s a dog person — but I remember — don’t lean in — so I have to ask like 3 times to hear wtf she said. Here, the set sort of nosedives. I just think I’m failing to build legit attraction….it seems pretty hard with three or more girls there. I honestly don’t remember, but at some point I was joking about the drunk girl being girl of my dreams, and then the 7 is like ‘she was ready to push you down a few minutes ago!’ and I’m like ‘oh yeah…whoa…’ and she’s like ‘yeah, you better get out of here.’ Not long after that, I kinda just tried to get the hint and move on to other pastures.

Next set!
This is actually funny. So I see these two asian chicks sitting near the bar, and I pull out the same routine. SURPRISE, SURPRISE — they were part of the group at the earlier bar. I didn’t even realize it until she was like ‘yeah…….we heard this before…except, my other friend was the hairdresser.’ I blink…then I just laugh my ass off. I get their names because I’m like ‘well we just shared an experience…”

Unfortunately, at this point, I was summoned to a table at the back by my friends, and the 4 told me to sit beside her. So I did. She kinda complained “usually there’s like 15 guys I want to fuck at a bar, but tonight…nothing.” I don’t give a shit, so I’m like ‘yeah, tryin’ to bang girls, tryin’ to bang guys can be tough.’ She complimented me several times on shit I ain’t interested in…like ‘you’re really nice, you’re so sweet.’ BARFORAMA. Later she’s like ‘see that guy, I want to fuck him.’ I’m like ‘nice! you should go do it.’

Meanwhile, somehow everyone lost track of Roy. Roy has just done nothing the entire night. But I text him and tell him where we are. The 4 is like ‘oh I don’t like him, he acts like he’s too good for everyone.’ I’m like lol. When he gets there, I have them talk, then I leave to make another circuit. On my way, I run into that earlier set — the 6.5′s and the 7. I’m just like ‘you guys again?!’ Blah blah blah…I call the drunk 6.5 crazy, and she’s like ‘call me crazy again and I’ll…I’ll punch you…’ and I fake a gasp, then she hugs me and is like ‘I’m just so drunk.’ So, she’s drunk, her friends ain’t into me, so I bounce.

There were other people we talked to, but they were people we knew, and to be honest, who even gives a shit?

Friday’s thoughts:

Eh….still having trouble with A2 obviously. I’m thinking about getting something else to say along with the hairdresser line. On the plus side, at this point I really don’t give a fuck about approaching. I mean, I get the butterflies, but I just do it. The last two nights maybe spoiled me a little in that I just was like ‘man, I got numbers…any night now I’m just gonna get a makeout/first night lay/wooooooooooooooooo!’ Lol.

Not the case. Still tripping over some basic shit. Kinda think that the sets that have gone well have gone well because the chicks were just open to my looks etc. But then again, those could just be negative thoughts after a nonstarter night like this.

Also, it kind of sucks to go somewhere where a lot of your friends are, because they just eat a lot of your time. Like, if they don’t know what’s up. And I mean….it’d be one thing if they were some hot girls or whatever but ehhhhhh…..:D


  • YaReally
    on January 12, 2013 at 12:34 pm
    Original Link

    “The last two nights maybe spoiled me a little in that I just was like ‘man, I got numbers…any night now I’m just gonna get a makeout/first night lay/wooooooooooooooooo!’ Lol.”

    This will fuck with you FOREVER. There’s a bunch of psychology involving the ego and outcome dependence and validation shit involved in it but basically this will mess with you over and over for the rest of your days going out lol. It’s sort of the universe’s way of keeping you humble.

    Tips for tonight:

    You’re engaging them now which is a step up but the vibe of “if you don’t run away, you’re in serious danger of me fucking your brains out” isn’t there yet. You’re getting lukewarm responses because the interaction goes sideways in limbo instead of forwards and the girls see you as asexual and not a threat, which is fine if they just meet you via your social circle on a random Tuesday but when they’re out drinking at a bar hoping to get fucked, if you’re not progressing toward that you’re just taking up time that they could be investing in a guy who will fuck them, know what I mean? Sort of the same vibe that you have when your friends are sucking up your sarging time and you’re like “hey ya cool man that’s great but I gotta go to this place with this thing to do this stuff, later!!”

    For example what’s the difference between this:

    “I tell them I’m almost done with law school”
    “who’s your favorite ninja turtle?”
    “okay…well that earns you another question….how about animals?”

    And this:

    “I’m like ‘who the FUCK is out here?’”
    “‘fucking right, you pop the collar when you’re bringing the funk.’”
    “So I just stop and look straight at her ‘I will FUCK the shit out of you.’”

    …aside from the F-Bombs lol. Like in terms of Intent and dominating the set.

    See what’s happening now is girls don’t hate you anymore and your ego likes that, so it’s chasing validation and you flip from “fuck it I’m going to say and do whatever I want and if she has a problem with that, fuck her” to “why isn’t this hairdresser routine working like last time?? They don’t seem into me quick what else can I throw at them so that hopefully they’ll validate me??”

    The girls from last night had no idea you have a cock. :) End result is friendly polite interactions but no attraction.

    See as a short guy you’re kind of like an Asian where by default they’re going to categorize you as “not someone to think about sexually” because it’s not something they’re used to since most short guys are lame and insecure and asexual “dancing monkey” clowns in the group. So much like an Asian (hit up YouTube and watch some Simple Pickup videos with Kong), you need to shit all over their expectations and not allow them to label you as asexual…which is what you did with the “fuck the shit out of you” girl, there was no question in that girls mind that you have a cock and would slap her around with it lol vs the ninja turtle girl who’s like “why are we talking about this??”

    So, tonight keep your routine stack going but now try adding something with Intent to your toolbox, so they know you have a cock and aren’t their little brother. (this is another reason hotter girls are better, it’s way easier to come off sexual because you legit WANT to fuck them)

    The simplest ways of adding this in are thru innuendo, misinterpretation (interpreting things she says in a sexual way) and sexual roleplaying. Your “I love you” stuff from before was good because that showed some Intent but it still wasn’t SEXUAL.

    So now you want it to look more like drug dealer, hairdresser, (sexual stuff), cold-read her, (misinterpretation), DHV story, qualify her, (show sexual intent).

    So off the top of my head maybe take the hairdresser story and give her a reason for wanting to fuck with you. “Green Mohawk blah blah…but I don’t know if I trust her. I kind of pissed her off because we hooked up a while back and I didn’t call her back so I have a feeling she’s just fucking with me for revenge now lol what do you think?”

    (girls say their answer)

    “Cool. Have you ever had a guy not call you the day after you hook up? I think she’s overreacting but I know I can be a dick sometimes.”

    (girl blabbing)

    “Wow really? You’re totally the clingy type aren’t you lol are you going to be hanging out outside my bedroom window every night and leaving me drunk voicemails?”

    (whatever reaction, tease her and roleplay here a bit then cut her off)

    “Honestly the reason I didn’t call her…well I shouldn’t tell you it’ll make me sound like an asshole lol (tell me!!!) okay well she honestly wasn’t very good in bed…but she thinks she’s hot shit and has no idea and I don’t think anyone will tell her because she’s hot lol what do you think, should I be honest about it or just avoid her? I really don’t even want to hook up with her again lol”

    Now this isn’t going to get you laid, but it’s going to take you down a different path than your routine stack has been taking you down so far. The main purpose of this is just to demonstrate to yourself “okay if I talk about ninja turtles and puppies I end up in this place and the vibe has this feeling…but if I talk about sex and hooking up, I end up in THIS place and the vibe has this other feeling.”

    A lot of pickup is about guiding and redirecting the flow of the conversation toward your goal. So if the girl talks about sex, cool, you can sit back and let that river flow. But if she’s talking about puppies you throw in a little innuendo by misinterpreting something she said in a sexual way and now you’ve guided that river back on course.

    Now keep in mind this stuff will get you blown out harder and shit-tested more and it’ll feel incongruent at first, which sucks because its like “but I want results naaaooowwwww!” but remember we’re looking at this long-term, you could spend all winter just getting this down before you start getting laid. We’re talking 1000 sets not 20, you know? Down the road you’ll be more consistent, like these days I can open and build basic attraction with most sets no problem, but my game/state is pretty consistent from going out a lot…as a new guy your game/state is going to fluctuate like crazy through massive highs and lows all night long until you start to stabilize it. It’s like someone throwing their first few punches of their life vs a boxer who’s been training for a while. They’re both punching but the boxer’s accuracy is going to be consistent compared to the wild swings of the other guy.

    Also remember that getting more polarized reactions is okay because we know passing shit-tests builds attraction so down the road you’ll be able to pass their shit-tests and capitalize on the emotional roller-coaster you put them through.

    But right now you’ll probably just get blown out a bunch…but hey getting blown out by a 9 for telling her you fucked your hairdresser is more fun than sitting inside playing Xbox alone. :)


  • YaReally
    on January 12, 2013 at 12:36 pm
    Original Link

    Got some advice in Moderation, check this spot before you head out tonight, hopefully it gets approved in time for you to apply it tonight lol


    • Scray
      on January 12, 2013 at 8:22 pm
      Original Link

      Update: Rich’s girl wasn’t a cold approach. He had met her before, several times. Lol


      • YaReally
        on January 16, 2013 at 10:48 am
        Original Link

        Just wanted to address this quick:

        1) His girl was a 5 give or take, and 2) He knew her from before.

        You’ll find the naysayer types, even if they get laid a lot, tend to be getting laid by average-at-best chicks and like 90% of the time it’s from their social circles.

        Pay attention to who, of your friends, LEGITIMATELY cold-approaches and pulls and you’ll find that it’s probably none of them. :) It’s a very rare skill to cultivate…especially consistently. Most Naturals became Naturals through exposure to women via social circles, not cold-approaching.

        So keep in mind when they slag you about “it’s weird to go talk to random people dude, cut it out”, that you’re working on a skillset they can’t even wrap their heads around.

        “When someone gives you advice, ask yourself if they’re at LEAST as successful as you want to be. If not, take it with a grain of salt.”



What Kind Of Woman Cuckolds A Man?

Original Link

via Heartiste

The Man Who Was . . .
on January 10, 2013 at 2:43 pm
Original Link

I’ve posted before on my own former blog about how game insights were few and far between in classic literature.

I think a lot of it came down to a couple facts:

1. Being a provider used to matter a lot.
2. Objective social status (king, nobleman, knight, yeoman, peasant) mattered a lot.
3. Basically everything was social circle game. You would know everybody in your local community (or in you social strata if you were a higher up).

Not that game didn’t matter, but more on the margins. Who needs game when you’re a nobleman and you want to bang one of your serfs? Who needs game when you are a middle class farmer and your only chance with a girl is to convince her father you’d be a good husband? So, the game insights remained fragmentary.


  • The Man Who Was . . .
    on January 10, 2013 at 4:19 pm
    Original Link

    All of those quotes from GBFM seem intent on proving my point. Nothing on how to attract a girl.


    • Matthew King (King A)
      on January 10, 2013 at 5:40 pm
      Original Link

      All of those quotes from GBFM seem intent on proving my point. Nothing on how to attract a girl.

      Some men need a glossy manual with pictures and graphs and bold “PAY ATTENTION TO THIS” clues in the text before they grasp a concept. Others can read tough stuff and exegese with ease. It depends on your level of training.

      So, sure, write “Game for Dummies” and instruction books for mass consumption. But if you are going to make claims about the deficiency of literature, you have to demonstrate you have a more discerning eye than Joe the AFC. Particularly if you want to contribute something truly original.

      What’s lost in the Mystery Monster Manual for Mating are the subtleties that put the “A” in “PUA.” Most men will have to sarge a hundred times a week before refining his art, but that puts the lie to the effectiveness of these straightforward A to B to C guides about “how to attract a girl.” Advanced social concepts cannot be expressed quantitatively or even in prose. They must be expressed through poetry, metaphor, example, and art. We learn more easily by, “Be like this guy,” than “Be like this and that and thus and so.”

      Every woman has the potential to throw a curveball. Therefore skills of improvisation and adapting on the fly become paramount. No man learns this by memorizing rules and research and probabilities and flow charts. The essence of pick-up artistry is one’s ability to reliably hit the curve.

      How you “attract a girl” today is not substantially different than it was a thousand years ago. Superficial analyses get lost in superficial details that are irrelevant. Man is, was, and always will be the active partner, woman the submissive, modern official bugaboos notwithstanding. It’s not rocket science to translate that knowledge, once truly gained, into working tactics applicable to any social milieu.

      You are mistaking your unfamiliarity with an idiom for absence of content. The solution is to become familiar with the idiom rather than believing each generation must reinvent the wheel.

      Matt


      • YaReally
        on January 10, 2013 at 8:48 pm
        Original Link

        “Advanced social concepts cannot be expressed quantitatively or even in prose. They must be expressed through poetry, metaphor, example, and art.”

        lol IT’S TEH MAGICSSS!!! A woman can’t be understood because she is uncornsz!!!

        You should really stick to your race flame wars, you’re embarrassing yourself when you try to be an authority on game. There are tens of thousands of men doing exactly what you say can’t be done and there will be more in the future. You and the fantasy world you live in where seduction is magical and impossible for anyone who isn’t as fantastical and genius as you believe you are, are both ridiculous and one step up from LARPers running around drinking from chalices and talking in Ye Olde English.

        Keep doing your thing tho…I mean what’s the alternative, going out and actually talking to girls? Eewww!!

        P.S. please use “pipsqueak” in your inevitable reply, that one always makes me smile kthxbi


        • Matthew King (King A)
          on January 12, 2013 at 1:15 am
          Original Link

          “Advanced social concepts cannot be expressed quantitatively or even in prose.”

          … There are tens of thousands of men doing exactly what you say can’t be done and there will be more in the future.

          Your prolix, ten-screen commentaries on “field reports” prove my point about the limits of prose.

          You have trouble following what I say. I’ll take half the blame for that. But that means your over-the-top caricatures about anyone who deviates from your dogma by an inch indicate you have no ability to pull your own weight in the struggle for communication.

          A woman can’t be understood because she is uncornsz!!! … You and the fantasy world you live in where seduction is magical and impossible for anyone who isn’t as fantastical and genius as you believe you are…

          Really, where do you come up with this random stuff? My guess is that they are vivid placeholders you use to fill in the gaps of your understanding. Which is fine. But don’t try using them for the grounds of a critique. You are only revealing how little you can process the prose you just now claimed “tens of thousands of men” are using to express advanced social concepts. Or in your confused hackery and misapprehension, did you not realize what assertions you were making claims against?

          Whatever you have to do to get to the all-purpose “going out and actually talking to girls” line, which you think is the trump card for every disagreement. It’s your imagined ace-in-the-hole that allows you to comment on arguments you can’t grasp. If you had a smidge of self-awareness, you’d realize it also comprises the arrogance that keeps you from rising above the habit of repeating tiresome niche wisdom to newbies.

          Matt


          • YaReally
            on January 15, 2013 at 9:34 am
            Original Link

            You didn’t use “pipsqueak”. :(

            “It’s your imagined ace-in-the-hole”

            I consider scientists who routinely build rockets that fly into space to have QUITE the ace-in-the-hole compared to the guy writing about how rocket science can only be explained through Shakespearean poetry and shits all over mathematical conversations with his endless bragging about how far above everyone’s head the magical unicorn advanced concepts are…as the former scientist waves hello at him from the rocket he built that he’s riding into space.

            lol maybe one day people will think you talking out of your ass about something you have no real practical experience in actually holds some weight. Try using more big words? That could fool them! In the meantime I’ll be over here routinely demonstrating that 2 + 2 = 4 while you keep trying to convince people 2 + 2 = UNICORN!!$MAGIC?%%$#<3 lol


          • YaReally
            on January 16, 2013 at 10:35 am
            Original Link

            oh look, an insult instead of pointing out why your opinion on modern social dynamics would hold any weight whatsoever.

            Color me shocked that you would post something that isn’t useful and has no point. As usual. lol



Scray
on January 11, 2013 at 6:23 am
Original Link

OP — Seems about right.

Field Report Thursday:

So, tonight we just roll to a pretty popular club. Now, this time I just see a set near the bar and open all five of them — it’s too dark to make out most of them, but the one I address is a 6.5, and her friend is a 7.

Here’s what I’m starting to notice — now that I have a solid opener down, the resistance to me conversing with them has melted away, especially phrasing it in a way that has ‘a few’ girls asking me for weed, and then asking if I look like a drug dealer. I manage to get to the hairdresser routine — she -is- a hairdresser, and I’m about to riff before her friends swoop in to take her away.

Next, my friend opens a set. Now, he opens a 6-6.5, and her friend is….well…not quite. Probably somewhere around a 5 depending on the lighting. However, it’s important to know that I THOUGHT she was a 5.5-6 going in. So, I put some money in the ‘guilt you into winging me in the future because I jumped on the grenade back in the day’ bank — a great deal because 5.5-6 isn’t really a grenade anyway, right? I come in and pat him on the back and say ‘have you seen Michelle?’ and he’s like ‘No — but –’ then she interrupts. Turns out, her name is Michelle.

I turn to the obstacle and start chatting her up. Hairdresser routine and all of that goes pretty great, she’s laughing. I decide, in my mind, to try and make her -like- me. So, I tell her the crazy ‘almost got in a fight story,’ then I say ‘yeah I should hang out with people like you instead of her. you’d be like my little sister, helping me avoid such bad situations.’

I reference her being a sister another time shortly thereafter. She seems to enjoy it.

She notices that my friend is reading Michelle’s palm, so she asks me what he’s doing and if he can read palms. I’m like ‘oh yeah, we’re traveling magicians…we know all about the occult.’ This has the unfortunate effect of her asking me to read her palm, which probably makes me and my friend look like dickbags, reading palms at the same time.

So, anyway….we keep talking and I notice that she’s facing me, talking to me etc. Here’s where I say ‘okay, we need to do some A3 stuff I guess…’ And so, I ask what she does…she says she works with kids.

“Hm, I dunno….if you’re working with kids all day, how could we ever get along? I mean, you’d be too tired to raise our kids.”

She’s like ‘nooooo, I would be really good with them anyway!’

“…hmmm….you like animals?”

“Yeah…well sort of…I like dogs!”

“Very good! I got a little puppy recently…”

Blah blah blah, I riff on a dog I -did- get and we laugh over how bold they are, peeing on the floor while maintaining eye contact. So then I come back to the earlier point

“Okay, so let’s say our little angel spawn does -that-….Mom gets home and the kid pees on the floor, looking straight at you. What do you do?”

She’s like ‘hmmmm! well, I’d probably take them aside and say -noooooo- but i wouldn’t be mean, though!’

“Okay….that’s a good answer, I like it! Maybe I was wrong about you…”

Then she turns more toward me “well what would you do?”

“If they looked me dead in the eye and did it? Well…..that’s tough….I mean, I’d have to reward them somewhat, because you know….that takes some guts, and they aren’t going to take anyone’s shit.”

She laughs. So, I try to do some push/pull…but I haven’t really studied the concept enough (see, consistently getting past the opener is totally new for me…so, I just read about it 10 minutes before going out). So, whenever she does something cool or says something funny, I put my hand on her shoulder and push myself back ‘Oh my gosh, I can’t be around you…you’re like the woman of my dreams or something.’

She seems to genuinely laugh about it.

Friend and his target regroup with me and the obstacle — everyone decides to dance. Obstacle wanted to dance with me.

….

Yet, the dance floor is where everything fell apart.
I feel great…I’m like ‘wow, this is -how- you use the club, open, get some attraction, theeeeeen take to the dancefloor.’ We get there, and now comes time to start sort of touching. She dances facing away from me, grinding a bit. After awhile, I turn her around, and I have my hand on her waist, and she gets close several times —- but she’s not making eye contact, her hands are up, she’s never touching me, save when she moves in close (which was incidental). She complimented my dancing, though. However……somewhere in the middle of all this, my mind is like ‘man fuck this chick, if we ain’t making out, I’m gonna start over with some more bitches,’ but then I’m like ‘well….my friend needs me.’ I look over….sure enough, the son of a bitch is actually kissing the target. Yeah….still gotta allow him to isolate.

I’m way unsure what went wrong at this point, but at the same time, I’m forced to totally linger in a set that I feel like I”ve sort of been blown out of. Things get worse once we leave the club as a foursome — in the club, I thought I had been talking to like a 5.5-6…but nah man, at the most a 5. I’m PISSED.I downshift, just trying to maintain friendly relations with the obstacle for the sake of my friend getting laid. I accompany them around the area outside the club, just walking around, shooting the shit. My friend wants to give them a ride to their car (turns out they parked far away or whatever idk). But, it’s no dice…he’s got to settle for getting her number.

I feel like my earlier intuition of ‘I need to make her like me if he’s going to get laid…because if the obstacle gets to fuck, my friend gets to fuck,’ was correct.

But at this point, I’m really pissed. A) Failed to make obstacle like me, B) Had to linger around in a set that had petered out for me, and C) Opportunity cost of lingering around in a set that had petered out for me.

Thoughts:

So…the target’s number I got yesterday? Yeah, nothing. Zilch! :D
I tried to do a text callback about the skydiving into sharks. No response.
Today I texted something about getting some drinks. The only response was ‘who is this, I don’t have saved numbers :P ’ I tell her who I am — No response. Trolololololol. Clearly I made SEVERAL mistakes during that set — or, she could have been exceedingly polite and laughed and made conversation to that end.

Now I -have- to learn more about A2/A3 because I’m routinely getting to that point — I hook them with the opener consistently now.


  • YaReally
    on January 11, 2013 at 8:10 am
    Original Link

    “I just see a set near the bar and open all five of them — it’s too dark to make out most of them, but the one I address is a 6.5, and her friend is a 7.”

    It’s all good, don’t stress being picky in terms of who you approach at the start of the night especially. If a chick turns out to be ugly, you don’t have to fuck her, just get her laughing and move to the next set (girls near you will be more receptive even if she’s ugly because you look like a fun guy who isn’t shallow and flirts with everyone).

    “now that I have a solid opener down, the resistance to me conversing with them has melted away”

    The whole point of routines. :) Down the road, ya, go ahead and wing it, but when you’re starting out, fuck it, come up with some default routines and use them. Then you have a gameplan instead of stumbling in like a dumbass hoping your brain spits something out. There’s nothing wrong with routines, Naturals use their own all the time. One of my Natural buddies, I know pretty much everything he’s saying to a girl without having to actually overhear him because I know all his moves and routines lol

    “especially phrasing it in a way that has ‘a few’ girls asking me for weed”

    Good stuff. Building social proof into your story = DHV’ing. This is much better than “a few dudes asking me” or “people asking me”. These are the little nuances that trigger her subconscious going “oh, girls keep talking to him? Why do they talk to him? He seems normal to me…what do they know that I’m missing? I’m going to find out so I don’t miss out!”

    “he opens a 6-6.5, and her friend is….well…not quite.”

    lol I have one buddy that hits up all the 8+ girls that bring their <5 friends out and I'm always like "you fucker, why do you do this to me??" lol

    "I come in and pat him on the back and say ‘have you seen Michelle?’"

    Classic solid way to get into the set. Much smoother than awkwardly barging in or your buddy ignoring you to talk to his girl and you having to intro yourself etc. Having a wingman who's consciously running game with you like this is such a fucking luxury. Enjoy it while you have it, you guys can do a lot of damage. "Normal" guys are frustrating as fuck to wing with.

    "Hairdresser routine and all of that goes pretty great"

    What's your hairdresser routine, if you don't mind sharing? Maybe we can tweak it a bit to make it more efficient/sexual/flirty/etc.?

    "I reference her being a sister another time shortly thereafter. She seems to enjoy it."

    We don't even really get why girls like that shit lol we just call it "chick crack". For some reason they eat it up.

    "I’m like ‘oh yeah, we’re traveling magicians…we know all about the occult.’"

    Nice, self-amusing. If you could keep this attitude around the 8+s, you'd be golden.

    "This has the unfortunate effect of her asking me to read her palm, which probably makes me and my friend look like dickbags, reading palms at the same time."

    Lol there was a good one back in the day where you read the different lines on her hand, "This is your life line, it means blah blah….This is your heart line, it means blah blah…this is your head line, it means you give good head. ;) " "OMG!!!" "What?? You mean you DON'T give good head?? Sorry I'm new at reading palms still. ;) " etc.

    "we keep talking and I notice that she’s facing me, talking to me"

    You've passed the Hook Point here. She likes you, she'd fuck you. But as you'll find out, a lot can go wrong between attracting her and fucking her. This is why when Keyboard Jockeys are like "oh whatever, that 9+ bar slut, anyone can bang her, I like quality women" it's like "no, you couldn't bang her, you can't even comprehend how many things will fuck you in the face trying to get that girl home, especially on the same night, but as a Keyboard Jockey you won't understand that because you don't go out and actually pull regularly and experience all that, especially not on hot girls." :)

    "I say ‘okay, we need to do some A3 stuff I guess…’"

    Yup. Good read of the situ.

    "Hm, I dunno….if you’re working with kids all day, how could we ever get along? I mean, you’d be too tired to raise our kids."

    Solid future-projection/roleplaying (that you'll have kids for her to take care of in the future), assuming attraction (since to have those kids you'll have to bang lol), qualifying/screening her, and you're actually doing Push here (Push/Pull is mental not physical lol, so here you're saying "I'm not interested in you" which is Pushing her away).

    "She’s like ‘nooooo, I would be really good with them anyway!’"

    This is her qualifying herself to you, which counts as an ioi and is her investing in the interaction and creating a frame where she's chasing you. She's into you here.

    "…hmmm….you like animals?"

    This is letting her win you over, which is transitioning from Push back to Pull in the form of qualifying her…ie – she knows if she says she doesn't like animals, she'll lose you, so even if she doesn't like them, she'll say she does so you don't disqualify her.

    "Yeah…well sort of…I like dogs!"

    Her brain went "Say yes or he'll disqualify you!! …wait okay that was a lie, shit, say sort of…quick think of SOME kind of animal you like so you're not lying!!" lol This is all good stuff.

    "Very good! I got a little puppy recently…"

    The Very good is Pull, now you're saying "okay, you've won me over a bit and now I'm interested again", and sharing the puppy stuff is building Comfort, so you've actually dipped into C1 here.

    "Okay, so let’s say our little angel spawn does -that-….Mom gets home and the kid pees on the floor, looking straight at you. What do you do?"

    More roleplaying, future projection, qualifying her, and you're Pushing again, all good stuff. Do lots of this in the future lol In terms of emotional investment in the interaction, compare this to just grinding up behind a random girl on the dance floor, you know?

    "She’s like ‘hmmmm! well, I’d probably take them aside and say -noooooo- but i wouldn’t be mean, though!’"

    More qualifying herself. She's attracted here.

    "Okay….that’s a good answer, I like it! Maybe I was wrong about you…"

    Good stuff, this is you Pulling again. And she's going to start feeling like she's winning you over. If you say stuff like "You know, at first I wasn't sure about you…you seemed kind of shy, etc. etc." to a really hot girl, they laugh their ass off and are like "OMG noooo I'm totally not like that!!" and love you.

    My fav way of putting it is Tyler explains it's like winning a coupon for some stupid trinket in a Crackerjack box lol You might not even care about the trinket, but because you won it, you'll go down and collect it. :)

    "Then she turns more toward me “well what would you do?”"

    She's invested. Again, she's attracted at this point.

    "(see, consistently getting past the opener is totally new for me…so, I just read about it 10 minutes before going out)"

    lol this'll happen a lot to you this year. "Whoops, I didn't expect to get THIS far! Ah shit, I lost it lol" :)

    "‘Oh my gosh, I can’t be around you…you’re like the woman of my dreams or something.’"

    You can skip the physical Push lol, it's a mental Push/Pull. But actually you can mix in physical Push/Pull with it, I do this a lot now that I think about it. Like I'll say "god, I can't be around you, you're like the woman of my dreams or something…" and physically turn away from her a bit…"unless you can cook, can you cook? Microwaving TV Dinners doesn't count." and if she says "I love cooking!" then I'll physically turn toward her and grab her hands and put them up on my shoulders and then put my hands on her waist, so we're in close to eachother and go "shit, I think I'm in love with you now. What are you going to cook us for breakfast tomorrow? ;) " etc. and then if I need to Push, I'll just throw her hands off me dramatically and back-turn her, etc.

    "Obstacle wanted to dance with me."

    Here you can theoretically bone her. The problem you're about to run into is ASD/logistics. But first:

    "I’m like ‘wow, this is -how- you use the club, open, get some attraction, theeeeeen take to the dancefloor.’"

    Yup. :) Now you're learning. You know those couches some clubs have? Those are for isolating girls so you can go through C2 and C3 and sometimes S1 lol But when you don't know how to pick up those couches always seem totally out of place in a club. There's a strategy to using the club lol I won't even dance with a girl if it's "too soon" because I suck ass at dancing, I'm only good at sexual grinding, so if I hit the dance floor before she's attracted enough to grind me and makeout, I'm just shooting myself in the foot. I lost a lot of girls by being forced onto the dance floor (winging my buddy and my buddy's a good dancer and girls all love dancing so 3 against 1 I'd have to go to the dance floor with everyone). Now I try to change the subject and build attraction faster to avoid that, or take her to get a water and isolate and build attraction there, etc. so that if I hit the dance floor with her, it's natural to go right into grinding.

    "She dances facing away from me, grinding a bit. After awhile, I turn her around, and I have my hand on her waist, and she gets close several times —- but she’s not making eye contact, her hands are up, she’s never touching me, save when she moves in close (which was incidental)."

    Boooo. At least you can tell this means she's not having it lol She was attracted you up to this point, and even still IS…The problem is her ASD triggered. If I had to guess I'd say your friend and your friend's girl were dancing right beside you guys, right? Or at least within your view (since you saw him making out)? This is the worst setup because your girl is thinking "if I do anything with him, my friend will think I'm a slut". Sometimes if she sees her friend making out with your friend, she'll loosen up, but it depends on her personality type and a lot of times it'll just make her lock up more because she's like "omg if I kiss him we'll have to fuck because my friend is going to fuck his friend and I didn't even shave my legs today because I didn't expect to fuck anyone ahhhhh WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!! (sabotage)" lol

    To neutralize this, try keeping her facing away from her friend and your friend so she isn't constantly reminded that they're nearby, or try to let some of the crowd separate you two from your friends…either way you're in a tricky spot, especially if it's a brightly lit club (most of the clubs in my current city are retardedly bright, the city I was in before was all dark shadows and shit, it was so easy to escalate there lol).

    If you end up in this situation again, don't stress it. Dance and tell yourself "okay, fuck, I can't make out with her YET because these logistics are shit…BUT, once we get OFF this dance floor, I'm going to tell her let's get a water and isolate her from our friends, tease her and spike her Buying Temperature again, and then try to kiss her".

    Isolation is massive massive important. Your buddy's girl didn't need isolation because whatever game he was running attracted her enough that she didn't care, or he kept her facing away from you guys enough, or she just isn't as reserved as her friend, or knows her friend won't judge her, etc. etc. Remember isolation can just mean going around a corner or behind a pillar or to the other side of a crowd etc., you don't have to have her outside in the smoke pit or on the couches etc. Hell, you can isolate just by turning her away from the group, in the right circumstances.

    "She complimented my dancing, though."

    This is her saying "Sorry I can't make out with you and slut it up on the dance floor, the circumstances for that aren't right for me to do it without feeling slutty, but I don't want you to think that I'm not into you so here's a compliment so you don't take my lack of sucking your cock on the dance floor as a sign of disinterest". :)

    "However……somewhere in the middle of all this, my mind is like ‘man fuck this chick, if we ain’t making out, I’m gonna start over with some more bitches,’ but then I’m like ‘well….my friend needs me.'"

    Lol, been there. You're a good wing helping your buddy out instead of finding a new one, he owes ya since she turned out to be a <5.

    "still gotta allow him to isolate."

    Yup. Generally if you've just met her that night off a cold approach, but can't actually fuck her that night, but get all raunchy in the club, she'll end up flaking when you try to set up a Day 2. If it looks like I can't fuck her that night, I'll avoid doing more than a quick kiss and leave the sexual tension in the air to help solidify there being a Day 2, no crazy hardcore tongue-down makeout groping stuff.

    So depending on how hardcore your friend kissing her was, she might actually flake on him when he tries to follow-up because he didn't fuck her that night. Weird chick-logic hey? My point is that you made a good read, knowing that he still needs to isolate before it's on 100%.

    "I’m PISSED.I downshift, just trying to maintain friendly relations with the obstacle for the sake of my friend getting laid."

    lololol been there. :) The obstacle can usually sense that you downshifted too, unfortunately. It gets awkward from here. I've had situs where the obstacle and I are talking and we're just making bullshit small talk because we both KNOW we're just giving our friends time to makeout and exchange numbers etc. lol

    "My friend wants to give them a ride to their car (turns out they parked far away or whatever idk)."

    I'd guess he was hoping to get his girl isolated to fuck her in his car or their car lol As a wingman you could drop something like "ya sure, grab your car and we'll wait at the hotdog stand over there for you." and then be ready to stall the obstacle at the hotdog stand for like 20 minutes while your friend tries to fuck his girl in the car lol If you have to buy her a hotdog to keep her busy so he can get laid, make your friend buy you one next time you're out lol

    "But, it’s no dice…he’s got to settle for getting her number."

    Try to find out if it flakes or not. There's a really good chance he won't be able to get her to meet up again for a while if at all, because of the stuff I said, but it depends a lot on how his text game is and what the obstacle said to her about you guys after and how much comfort/rapport he built with her etc.

    "I feel like my earlier intuition of ‘I need to make her like me if he’s going to get laid…because if the obstacle gets to fuck, my friend gets to fuck,’ was correct."

    Yup, you were 100% right there. If you had been able to force yourself to fuck a <5, you guys would've given them a ride to their car and all gone back to their place or your place for the "afterparty" and at that location you'd just chill on the couch with your girl while your friend sneaks his off around a corner for a "tour of the place" etc. and escalates on her…him vanishing with her is your cue to escalate with your girl (see Swingers when Vince Vaughn goes for a "tour" of the trailer with his girl and how the vibe becomes "okay time for us to fuck too now"). Shit can still go wrong there, you have to escalate it smoothly, possibly build some comfort first etc. depending on how much attraction is there, but this is the way it generally plays out when you take a 2 set home with your buddy.

    For the record it's probably good that you didn't fuck her lol If you're not into her, don't bother. I mean if she was a 6-6.5 or so and you're stuck babysitting the grenade and it's either hook up with her or your buddy won't get laid, hey, that ain't so bad, grab a blowjob and get her off (use a condom like a mofo if you actually stick it in her) and make your buddy pay for your breakfast in the morning as thanks lol

    But a solid <5, your buddy can't really hold that against ya lol Tell him "next time pick a girl with a friend who isn't nasty and I'm in!" lol

    "But at this point, I’m really pissed."

    lol it sucks that it went haywire (ASD kicking in and her turning out to be a super uggo) but in terms of running game, you ran your shit solid up to the dance floor issues. This is good progress. :)

    "A) Failed to make obstacle like me"

    No she loved you lol But you need more experience going from A3 to S1 is all.

    "B) Had to linger around in a set that had petered out for me"

    lol I always hate when that happens. It's a big mood killer. One thing you can try if you end up in this situ again, is merge the set…so chat up some randoms beside you, guys or girls, and introduce your obstacle girl to them. There's a chance one of those guys might want to fuck her and take over for you, or there might be a girl in their group that perks up when you chat them up, or at least you can make small talk and don't have to awkwardly stand around with the petered out vibe in your set.

    "C) Opportunity cost of lingering around in a set that had petered out for me."

    lol ya, again that sucks. Your buddy will reciprocate down the line though, I'm sure. At least you got practice winging and reading the vibe and running your routines etc. If you can treat an HB8+ like you treated this <5, they'll be attracted to you like she was.

    "So…the target’s number I got yesterday? Yeah, nothing. Zilch! :D "

    Not sure which one this is lol oh shit, you have a Field Report up for Wednesday. I'll check it out and see if I can help narrow down why this one flaked on you. Check for a reply/analysis from me to your post at:

    http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/01/09/beta-of-the-month-when-you-cant-hide-it/#comment-402287

    "Now I -have- to learn more about A2/A3 because I’m routinely getting to that point — I hook them with the opener consistently now."

    Good stuff, you're making progress. :) A lot of guys are like "whatever this game thing doesn't work, look he's not even getting laid yet and it's been 2 weeks wtf game is bullshit" but they don't get that this is all baby steps and you're making progress in a bunch of different categories. If it were an RPG this would be levelling up all your random Intelligence, Charisma, Wisdom, etc. stats that contribute to the character, not just your Strength. You'll make a bunch of little strides and gain little victories in like "now I'm not afraid to open a group" and "I merged my first two groups of strangers together" and "I ran my first jealousy plotline!" etc. Getting laid is great, but there's a lot more to the game. :)


    • pdwalker
      on January 12, 2013 at 10:12 am
      Original Link

      YaReally,

      I just wanted to say, I enjoy reading your commentaries.

      Thanks for taking the time to do them.


      • YaReally
        on January 12, 2013 at 1:11 pm
        Original Link

        Thanks, hope they help some other guys out besides Scray!

        I think it’s good for Manosphere guys to see how PUAs do this “field report, analyze, plan, hit the field and apply, and repeat” process. This is what helps us progress more efficiently than a guy who just aimlessly goes out and wings it opening a set here and there when he’s drunk with his buddies. I used to spend all week reading/writing field reports and breaking them down with other PUAs.

        Part of why we used routines was because it was easier to narrow down sticking points. Run the exact same routine stack on 10 girls and 8 of them bail at routine number 2 then you know to look at routine 2 and make adjustments then try the new stack on 10 more girls etc.

        Long-term you want to be able to improvise but I find routines a huge help for newbies.


  • YaReally
    on January 11, 2013 at 11:46 am
    Original Link

    Got a long reply/analysis to this one in Moderation, and I dropped one on your Wednesday Field Report just now that’s also in Mod, so check ‘em out. Hoping they show up in time for you to apply some shit this weekend. :) Props on going out dude!


  • YaReally
    on January 11, 2013 at 11:58 am
    Original Link

    “So…the target’s number I got yesterday? Yeah, nothing. Zilch! :D
    I tried to do a text callback about the skydiving into sharks. No response.
    Today I texted something about getting some drinks. The only response was ‘who is this, I don’t have saved numbers :P ’ I tell her who I am — No response. Trolololololol. Clearly I made SEVERAL mistakes during that set — or, she could have been exceedingly polite and laughed and made conversation to that end. ”

    lol just wanted to address this now that I’ve read Wednesday’s Field Report:

    You grabbed both girls’ numbers without showing this one any real Intent. The skydiving sharks thing is impossible for her to not remember unless she was shit-faced which it doesn’t sound like she was at all…so right there you know something happened to make her cold on you (but good on you for trying to push it anyway with the getting drinks, incase her phone was off or she forgot to reply or whatever).

    If I had to guess, it’s possible that she thought you were into her 5.5 friend because you did chat with her and you didn’t make it real clear you were into her Intent-wise, or maybe even her 5.5 friend told her “I really like that guy I hope he txts me!!!” so when you txted her she could be thinking “oh this guy’s a player, he’s txting both of us I bet” or “oh no don’t txt me I thought my 5.5 was finally going to get a guy, ughhh you were supposed to txt her!!”

    Or a million other fucking things, maybe your buddy said something that messed up your image with the 5.5 (“oh he gets girls all the time DHV DHV for my buddy” “what I thought he was a nice guy!! she just had her heart broken by a player!” “oops! shit”).

    This is why we prefer to go for the lay that night if we can, or if we have to get a number we set up a solid Day 2 and the number is used as a Time Bridge…so in-person you say “let’s get drinks next week at blah blah, give me your number and we’ll plan the details” so you have a Day 2 established already when you had her attracted to you.

    Honestly, you can’t nail down exactly why a girl flakes, it’s a known rule in the PUA community that pretty much anything can happen between getting her number and seeing her again that you completely can’t know why she didn’t show up.

    All we can do is try to REALLY solidify that connection in C2/C3, and number before leaving her and work her group to help us solidify it and make plans so it’s harder for her to flake etc. and hope that we’ve laid a strong enough foundation that she’ll still come through despite whatever shit-storm happens before we get her out on the Day 2.

    In your particular case, because of your Field Report, we can narrow down a lot of logically very likely possibilities (like I mention in this comment and in the analysis of Wednesday’s report) and determine places where you can sharpen your game up to avoid those possibilities in the future…but you’ll never know 100% for sure what happened with this chick.

    She was definitely attracted to you and there was definitely potential there to land her. Getting into C3 and then showing some Intent and directly getting only her number probably would’ve meant you’d be going for drinks with her sometime. :)

    It’s crazy how girls can just toss guys away hey? Like you could be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to her in her life and you guys could get married and have 10 kids and shit, but because you joked about shark tanks instead of saying something deeper, bam, nothing. lol



Nice Like Me

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on January 9th, 2013 at 5:45 pm
Original Link

All I thought when I saw the OKCupid nice-guy mocking blog was: “Huh…I guess they don’t realize they’ve just created the next generation of PUAs.”

Guaranteed this cyber-bullying by women converts a handful of those guys. Will they be the type that learn game to seduce women and leave them better than they found them, or learn it to use them, hurt them and get revenge for being mocked across the world as a Nice Guy? I know which one I’d place my bets on. Well done, ladies!


Beta Of The Month: When You Can’t Hide It

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on January 9, 2013 at 3:41 pm
Original Link

Feminist-baiting, race-baiting, men’s rights-baiting, abortion-baiting, marriage-baiting…CH has struck the mother-load!

I’m certain that this will be a nice calm rational comment section. lol have fun y’all.



Beta Of The Month: When You Can’t Hide It

Original Link

via Heartiste

Scray
on January 10, 2013 at 7:02 am
Original Link

Comment on OP: Wow, holy crap. That’s disgusting. How can anyone just rationalize away all accountability? “For the children?!” More like for membership among the castrati, singing joyful odes to the mighty vagina. Even in my most beta of moments, I’d never dream of remaining in such a relationship. How would any man convince himself of something so stupid? “Herp derp, she completely emasculated me, betrayed my trust, but herp derp, I should raise some bastard kid because herp derp, that kid deserves better — nevermind the behavior that brought about said kid — my wife is such a unique person/snowflake/daffodil, yay her emotions!” Gross.

I’m going to try and do field reports every day I go out (I remember more the day of).

Field Report Weds:

All right, so I kept things simple. I got together an opener and a DHV routine, and allowed those to carry me as far as they could. So, before I go out with my “Project PUA” friends, I go to a bar to watch a college basketball game. My focus? Just being more alpha. And it’s simple. I just sort of lean back in my chair, I make slow movements, I talk slowly. No real change during the game. I make idle chat during the game about various plays/players/etc. Here’s what I notice after the game. I’m like — “Yeah, I’m out, goin’ home…got shit to do.” Everyone turns to me and is like ‘no, you’re not leaving yet! What the fuck? Let’s do x, y, z…blah blah blah.” Long story short I ended up playing several rounds of pool and shuffleboard with them, but the weird thing is that…for the first time in awhile, I just felt like part of the group — like my presence made a difference. I dunno, hard to explain I guess. Small thing.

Now, on to the rest of the evening. First, I go to my friend’s house — usually we alternate between who has to drive where. And he’s like “Okay, you need to ditch your patterned sweater/hoodie, the weird T-shirt, and the ‘nice’ (air quoted) Skechers.” I just kinda tilt my head, and he’s like “Get a cool t-shirt or a button-down, a blazer, and just normal nice shoes or boots. You’re 26, almost done with grad school, and you work at a respectable place — fucking act like it. You don’t spend most of your time watching people do -sick- tricks in half-pipes.” So, I nod, and I actually head to my house to make the changes (I own blazers and stuff for work and nice shoes and different t-shirts).

We ride to Club 1. We think Club 1 will be awesome — it’s locals night + open bar. Turns out…despite a good location, Club 1 is terrible. Literally, when we arrived, Club 1 had ONE girl there. And she was there with some guy. Now, we got to the bar, where this girl — a solid 6.5-7 (dark lighting unsure) — sits. My friend, before even getting a free drink, opens her. He’s talking to her. I wait for a bit and get my drink — just a bud light, I ain’t gonna get drunk. Then I walk on over and engage the dude in conversation. Now, it’s clear from what me and my friend piece together that they are out on their first date and really have little history. So, I occupy the guy…talking about music, work, etc. while my friend engages the target. Eventually, he peters out, and I want to get another bud light. So I leave the guy to get the drink. I ask my friend ‘okay, who else is there to open?’ He shrugs with a laugh “I dunno…that’s insane, I’ve never been in a club where there aren’t any targets. What the FUCK? Let’s walk…YOU lead, and we’ll figure it out.” So, we walk around, and we notice — finally — this set of what appear to be three girls at the bar. We’re walking at a weird angle and I totally bitch out and keep right on in that craven stride. My friend is like ‘what the…you already fucked up!”

I’m like ‘yeah……shit….well I gotta take a piss…let’s regroup after.” I go, do my business, and when I walked out of the bathroom I was just like ‘fuck this, let’s go…” And I walk toward the set again, this time approaching closer — I force myself to slow down. Then I turn toward them and say

“Hey guys…I can only stay for a sec, got friends waiting, but actually…quick question….”

Now, out of nowhere, I say -this-

“…since I’ve been here, two girls have asked me for weed.”

It just flies out of my flapping lips, and I go to continue talking, but I notice that they have a reaction…they’re surprised.

“Yeah, so do I look like a drug dealer to you?”

Now, one of the set steps forward…black, 6…I’d give her extra points because she had an uber feminine thing going on (can’t explain it, just really warm voice and demeanor), but a raw 6. She starts to engage the question, hmming, and hawwing.

“I know, right?”

Then, I FORCE MYSELF TO REACT TO HER…like, to pretend as though I’m noticing something. I pause, and I tilt my head, then point in her direction as though the Perspicacity Gods graced me in a single moment.

“Wait, you’re a hairdresser right?”

Blah blah, she’s taken aback, I don’t really listen, because I know what comes next.

“Well, my friend is a hairdresser, and she always wears her hair like that.”

She nods, and I nod back — I fail to really mirror her though, because I’m facing away and out, and she’s looking directly at me, open stance.

“By the way, she thinks I should get a green mohawk — now see, on the one hand I should trust her, because she’s hot, but on the other hand, she could be fucking with me…what do you think?”

I kinda block out my hair to demonstrate the hypothetical mohawk. She takes her time with it.

“So you’re not a hairdresser, what are you?”

She tells me she doesn’t work right now and that she’s gonna be a nurse, blah blah blah. Then, I notice several bodies moving. Turns out, that set of three girls is a set of -five- girls. They all scatter from the bar, I blink — oh shit, I really failed to engage everyone, oh man. Here comes friendo to engage. However, problem…I don’t think he knew who was the target and who were the obstacles, because the first person he engaged was the person I was talking to. So, I just turn and I talk to another girl in this big all-girl set….easy 8. Funny shit…I try the same routine on her, and she just is -not- having it. But I play it to the bone, even with the hairdresser (I link it by saying, ‘I was just telling your friend blah blah blah blah.’) I look back, and my friend has stopped talking to the initial target and started talking to another girl in that group, a 6. Eventually it just peters out and the all move to a booth in which to sit — we pretty much weren’t invited. I decide to just go with my gut. We failed…overwhelmed in some way. So I’m like “fuck, man.”

He’s like “dude, that was awesome. You opened them. We’re rockstars in this club right now. Look at all these faggots in their nice clothes just standing around. We’ve literally talked to -all- the girls in this place.”

I’m like “yeah but this club sucks, let’s go somewhere else.”
He’s like “aight.”

After some more idle chit-chat with the original 6.5-7 at the bar, we leave.

Next venue:

Nothing to write home about here. When we walk in, I notice — as I’m walking past — a group of four girls. All of them are fucking hot, save one, who isn’t ugly, she’s just less hot. Like 8.5-9 (I say she was a 9, but friend is like nah, she’s like an 8…8.5 probably), 8, 7, 5.5-6. And I dunno, maybe it was the slight buzz of alcohol, but I shit you not, I became a warrior in that pass. Me and my friend leaned on the bar, and I was like ‘okay, I’m going to walk toward the bathroom, come back, and open those bitches.’ I proceeded to do just that.

I open all of them at once.

“Hey I gotta get back to my friends, but…well, since I’ve been here two girls have asked me for weed. So….I mean, do I look like a drug dealer?”

Here’s the shocking thing….that resistance from the other night? Gone. Replaced by — it wasn’t attraction — but just this sort of open-mindedness. Like, they all gave me their focus, and it felt like…’all right kid, you’ve got a few minutes — WOW us.” They all look at one another, and it’s sort of a tepid ‘nah, not really, I mean…yeah nah….”

I point at the 9 (yeah, that’s fucking right) and just say “you’re a hairdresser, right.”

Now, I immediately notice something different about hitting on a really hot (at least in my mind she’s a 9) chick. I like it way better. I feel more aggressive. Inflection after ‘right?’ Questions are for pussy betas. I AM right. She tilts her head and is like ‘well, no…” I follow it up….same routine, friend is a hairdresser. She laughs, and is like ‘yeah! I actually know a lot of hairdressers who wear it this way.” Now….listen, this may sound stupid, but liiiiike….having a 9 legit show interest in what I said there just was….well….just about the best thing ever. And I respond “yeah, with the bright blonde and the wavy curls.” Then, one of the other friends makes a motion — at first I thought she was making a blowjob motion, to insult me, but then I’m like ‘what’s going on over here?’ and her friends inform me that this one — the 5.5-6 — is ACTUALLY a hairdresser. I’m about to riff on that thread, probably go into something about how she should meet my hairdresser friend blah blah….when my friend shows up. He enters the set like the Allies entered the beaches of Normandy. The first thing he says is ‘oh hey, have you met him?’ indicating me. They blink, as though that’s weird, and say ‘uh yeaaaah.’ Then, my friend engages me. Something shifts in the interaction, and ALL of them turn away.

So we eject…my friend is like ‘ahhh shit, totally misread everything about that. I’m sorry man, that one chick was fucking smokin” and that’s where we proceeded to wonder whether she was an 8.5 or a 9 for 20 seconds. My friend actually wandered into another room in the club, where a live band was playing. I followed for a sec, but then I was like ‘it’s too fucking loud in here, let’s go talk to bitches!’ He’s like ‘ya, in a sec.’

I go back into the club, I glide up to the bar. There’s this gothy chick there at the bar — I dig it, she’s pretty cute…6.5, so I sidle up to it. I just make idle chit chat, like ‘oh yeah, you guys gotten their attention yet? I can never get their attention.’ She smirks and is like ‘nah, but yeah I know what you mean.’ And then I’m like ‘you from around here?” she’s like “yeah…” and I’m like “is this a cool place…” she launches into an explanation of the place. Slowly my mind starts working — she’s being way friendly, despite the fact that I didn’t use any of the material, so….I should pay attention to how I am right now. My profile was to her, I was facing the bar, standing straight, and my head was turned. Plus, I was talking slowly. We talk some more, then some guy sitting next to her interjects — we get into a conversation, and he identifies her as his girlfriend.

Phuck. Maybe she was friendly because she was just with a dude. Whatever, opened another set, right?

I return to the backroom, where this live band is playing. Some girl on the dancefloor introduces herself to me, a solid 7. Immediately, inside I either think that the Universe has finally decided to smile upon me or that this bitch is probably taken. The latter turns out to be true — she introduces me to her boyfriend. I’m like ‘man fuck this shit,’ and, after failing to find my friend, I step back out into the main area. I find him at the bar, drinking another drink. He’s like ‘go open those four girls’ and I’m like ‘yeah, those are the ones I already opened.’ He laughs…’hmph, well there aren’t any other good groups to open here.’ So I’m like ‘then let’s get to gettin’.’

Next venue:

We walk into the mainroom, it’s more of a pub — not that many people, but still plenty of targets. Upstairs runs more like a club. So we go upstairs, and immediately my friend opens this 8. Now, I feel like a tool, and I immediately turn around to head back downstairs. On the way, I spot a 5.5 and a 7 sitting down. The thought was — shit, if I could get a 9 to laugh, surely I could do something with these chicks.

So, I pulled the same routine. But I dunno, something about it just clicked this time.

The 7 (who had a stylish, Zooey Deschenal thing going) laughs and actually gives a banter answer. “Nah, you don’t look like a drug dealer, but in that blazer you look like you’re ready to do some lines.”

I actually laugh.

“What….who….ME? No-I-would-never!”

We share a laugh — the 5.5′s laughter is a bit more restrained.

I point to her and I do the hairdresser bit — she turns toward me. It’s convenient that she has a style so similar to Zooey Deschenal’s — really makes the hairdresser comment seem more genuine, and she really responds to it.

Then, I get to my hairdresser thing about the green mohawk. They’re into it. I pull the same ‘is she fucking with me?’ bit. Now, she’s laughing. Then, I launch into my DHV story — finnnaaaaallllly. I talk about how my crazy hairdresser friend pushed some 6’4 guy at a concert and then said I was going to fight him. Then, I…pretty drunk, but determined not to back down, just set down my drink, opened up my arms and said ‘we’re gonna fight? you can’t just get along with people? Okay…….let’s fucking fight then.’ The guy took a step back, smiled, and then apologized to me. (That’s a real story — swap hairdresser for ex-gf). The 7 really enjoys it, but the 5.5 gets back onto the topic about the mohawk, and she’s like ‘well, do you mean a mohawk or a faux-hawk?’

At this point, I act as though that’s a really interesting distinction and take the opportunity to sit down across from them. Now, I just instinctively start to focus on the 5.5, because I dunno…I read Ya’s comment about the other ‘STFU girl’ and was like ‘try to ingratiate yourself a little to the obstacle.’ So, I spend time talking with her about stuff and actually kind of cooling it with the 7. Where does she go to school? Oh the local university, no shit? I go there too — grad school style, almost done. They’re impressed.

I — acting a little ADD while the obstacle talks, bring the 7 back into conversation by pointing at a pyramid shaped ring she has —

“What is that?”

She lifts up her hand for me to see….I laugh

“Holy shit, I thought that was a ring pop.”

She laughs, “I wish!”

“Me too! But then, I’d probably hate you because I mean…you’d still have a FULL ring pop left. What kind of person doesn’t eat the ring pop?!”

She still laughs.

Then I tell her friend to make up a story about the ring. The 7′s story is something about Egypt, and the other’s story is about her family owning a diamond mine. I go with the obstacle’s story and then resume the conversation with the obstacle. She says her previous major was psychology, I ask her if she’s good at reading people.

So then….I say something that I think was pretty golden (I’m gonna keep using it).

“Oh really? You’re good at analyzing people? What’s -her- biggest fear?”

She hmms and haws with it a little, but I totally know they’re intrigued. Easy to see and feel. I smile (now, this whole time I’ve been facing away from them a bit in my body language, and they’ve been turned toward me…now, I bring myself in), and say “How about -I- go first?”

I make a little show about “okay this is personal” blah blah blah.
Then I say…”my biggest fear is to skydive into a pool full of sharks that then eat me alive.”

They start to laugh, and I laugh too, but I’m like ‘no that’s serious, it’s real.’
We talk about it for a bit, then she reveals the target’s fear, which is “moving on” from her first love or whatever. I don’t dwell on it, I just spin it into something else like ‘ahhh relationships, that’s interesting….yeah that can be tough, hmmmmmm…let me guess.’ I point at both

“you’re an aquarius….”

The target just lights up — like ‘how did you know?!’ blah blah blah. Lucky guess. Right now, I’m feeling pretty awesome.

“…and you’re a Sagittarius…”

Survey says incorrect on the second one. But the obstacle likes me, and she gives me a hint — stubborn, so I guess Taurus. Suddenly, the obstacle is like ‘hey, are you here alone?’ Ah shit….where is he? Time for an executive decision. I say that I’m here with a friend and that we’re actually trying to find a girl that keeps texting me to come to a bar, but she keeps failing to tell us where (I’m so sure I must have read about this gambit somewhere). The good news is that I actually do have a female friend who sort of could fit that bill. And that friend is decently attractive.

Target immediately asks to see pictures of her. God bless America.

Then, like an angel from on high, my friend swoops in again. Introductions all around, and I immediately start about our “friend.” He rolls with it easily, then proceeds to tackle the warpig like Teddy Roosevelt on Safari (Ha, okay she wasn’t a warpig….but I mean…I dunno, compared to her friend…).

Strangely enough, this is where I start to struggle. I have everything I want…an alone conversation with this girl who seems to be attracted. It kind of falters…I mean, I dunno. I feel like I told several cool stories that were fun and whatnot, but I didn’t really get to find out a whole lot about her, if that makes any sense. I did comment on her phone’s wallpaper — the Beatles. And we did have a cool conversation about them. About which period of the Beatles were our favorites, about which Beatles we liked best, etc. I managed to kino a little with her (incidental, just putting my hand on her arm when lightly teasing). Probably the best thing I did — again much props to Ya — was roleplay. Remember that whole story about the diamond mine? Well, I asked her at one point

“Okay, remember your fake story for the ring. We’re going to practice. Pretend you just met me — which you did!”

And then she nods, and I look away, then affect a snooty voice.

“Ahhh yes, how do you do, my name is Reginald Ringmaker, of the Ringmakers — the ring standard, yesss. May I ask about this trinket of yours?”

She repeats the story, and I twiddle an invisible mustache.

“How droll! We should arrange a marriage swiftly and combine diamonds and rings, why, why…we’ll be unstoppable!”

She laughs and actually starts mimicking the snooty voice ‘yess, yess we should!”

After awhile (whole interaction was over an hour long), their ride arrives. So, I just kind of say…”well, I’d like to continue this conversation.” And the target smiles and says ‘yeah!” So…I proceed to get both obstacle and target’s numbers (I regret this in retrospect. I should have been more direct, I think…in showcasing interest for only the target).

But…whatever, that’s my first legit number close I think.
I mean………I’m pretty sure I made several mistakes. I -know- I did, because lol I wasn’t even ready for people to respond to me in a positive way. I was weak in comfort, probably weak in having her qualify herself. Probably did shit out of order, too.

————–

Thoughts on Weds —

Well, I mean…it’s only day 3 of the official Project PUA. I feel like I probably just had a good night, which is good — I needed one. A legit good night. Now, I went out with the goal of opening 20 sets, but I never got that far. It seems like…opening in a way that demonstrates value is pretty solid. Like, the drug dealer opener went over way better when cushioned with the false time constraint and the fact that, rather than my friends giving me that opinion, some random girls -opened- me to give me that opinion. And then I think to Saturday, and how that girl responded way better when I just said ‘people asked me for weed.’ I keep this for awhile.

The hairdresser thing seems solid. Saying the hairdresser is hot seems solid. I still feel like I talk too fast, and I think I’m too excited. Like, when someone shows a bit of intrigue, I just sort of ‘YEAH AND IF YOU LIKED THAT HERE’S MORE OF WHAT I WAS SAYING OR WHAT I WANT TO SAY, YAAAAAAY!’ Need to chill more, I think.

Friend never did get that 8′s number. “Yeah, I actually think she -may- have been a prostitute.” Are his words. His words on my success were “yeah, that’s really awesome, I’m really proud of you. -But- don’t fuck up. You will fuck up if you focus on fucking this girl. What I mean is that, just have the same vibe you had when you first started talking to them. You’re like, this guy who has tons of girls in his life, and you know, why not one more? You don’t -need- to fuck her. You can do that any time. Go in with the mindset that you aren’t going to fuck her — indicate your interest and be fun, but keep it fun, as though you really couldn’t care less about it — and you’ll probably end up fucking her.”

As for the other sets. They were nicer this time, so that was nice. But I mean…when that 9 (or 8-8.5 whatever) laughed, even a little, it was a good moment. A hopeful moment.

Cold approaching seems pretty solid, and I totally disagree with me other friend who thinks it’s ‘dumb’ and ‘cool people don’t do that.’ I watched pretty much every other guy in the pubs, clubs, etc. just stand there like chodes…messing with their bros or keeping to their social circles. It’s empowering.

Ya, you were totally right about talking to hotter chicks. Way more fun.


  • YaReally
    on January 11, 2013 at 11:43 am
    Original Link

    “Field Report Weds:”

    I read/replied to the Thurs one before seeing this one lol so read my Reply to http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/what-kind-of-woman-cuckolds-a-man/#comment-402721 first.

    “the weird thing is that…for the first time in awhile, I just felt like part of the group — like my presence made a difference.”

    Your sub-communications are probably slowly fixing themselves. When someone is a value-taker, you want them to go away…the homeless guy on the street, you know before he even APPROACHES you that he’s going to approach you and start mentally snubbing him hoping he’ll go away. But when you’re a value-giver/bringer, people want you to stick around. Bringing value doesn’t have to be anything blatant, it can simply be “not being someone with low value”, where the group wants you around them. Down the road you’ll be in situations where you have multiple groups of people that all want you to come party with them and you have to start dropping in just for a few minutes here and there to “make an appearance” or choose between them and cancel on some of them etc. lol

    “You’re 26, almost done with grad school, and you work at a respectable place — fucking act like it. You don’t spend most of your time watching people do -sick- tricks in half-pipes.”

    Fucking lol’ed reading that. I like this guy. :) Like I say, some of it might sound harsh but he has your best interests in mind ultimately. I had to do a massive fashion, grooming, etc. overhaul. A buddy basically told me flat out “if you want to look like you deserve these chicks, you have to fix your style” and took me shopping. Also it helps when both of you look pimp VS one of you is stylin and the other is “the guy the girl’s friend will get stuck with”. You don’t have to necessarily dress up in blazers and shit, like I hang out with guys who look like rockers, MMA guys, suit dudes, clubby player guys, etc. and I don’t have to dress like they do. I just have to have a solid personal sense of style and it’s all good from there.

    “Literally, when we arrived, Club 1 had ONE girl there.”

    lol in those situs if I’m with friends or if I’m solo but don’t want to hoof around all night and want to give the place a chance, I just try to make chit-chat with a bartender or flirt with a waitress/bartender-chick and try to get familiar with them for the future before we move on to the next place.

    “My friend, before even getting a free drink, opens her. He’s talking to her.”

    lol ballsy of him. Good stuff. Taking action and not letting the club overwhelm you and avoiding negative thought-loops stifling your social vibe is more important than drinking, you can get shit-faced at home for way cheaper. :) A lot of PUAs follow the rule of opening ANYTHING as soon as they enter the venue, like before getting a drink, before doing a lap, before coat-checking, before hitting the pisser, etc. because doing all those things gives your mind time to psyche you out, so opening right away is like going “Fuck you, brain!! I’m makin’ you do this!!” and your brain goes “shit, okay, I guess we’re being social tonight, fine fine I’ll play along!”

    “just a bud light, I ain’t gonna get drunk.”

    Good, don’t get shit-faced all the time, it’ll fuck your progress up hard and create a lot of problems. I’m currently working on cutting back on drinking, it’s gotten out of hand over the winter and it’s fucking my game up.

    “Then I walk on over and engage the dude in conversation.”

    Good winging. Even if your buddy doesn’t take his girl or anything and you guys just leave, you guys have made their night. You’ve given them a funny story to bond over and probably helped that dude get laid lol

    “Now, it’s clear from what me and my friend piece together that they are out on their first date and really have little history.”

    lol could probably steal her if you don’t mind racking up bad karma. :) I don’t like to do that though if the dude is a nice guy, there are other girls and that might be his first date in months.

    “So, I occupy the guy…talking about music, work, etc. while my friend engages the target.”

    This is actually a way to wing AMOGs without getting your ass kicked. Like if you see a guy and girl together and your buddy wants the girl, or if a guy comes to crash your buddy’s set, you just engage the guy in boring logical questions and talk about normal mundane shit and basically kill any “fun” vibe that was going on, while your buddy pumps the girl’s Buying Temperature and steals her away. :) The guy can’t get mad at you because you’re just shooting the shit, but he loses the girl because he falls into your frame and becomes boring lol

    “Let’s walk…YOU lead, and we’ll figure it out.””

    This is a good wing. He’s helping you learn to lead and take charge, even if it’s just deciding where to walk over to in the club and what route to take. I do this with buddy’s who need to learn to be assertive, it just helps them learn to take charge and make decisions and lead the group.

    On a tangent for a sec, there’s a relevant scene at the start of Fight Club:

    Tyler says: “Just ask man.”
    Narrator: “What are you talking about?”
    “3 pitchers of beer and you still can’t ask.”
    “What?”
    “You called me ’cause you needed a place to stay.”
    “Oh hey no no no–”
    “Yes you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask.”
    “…would– Would that be a problem?”
    “Is it a problem for you to ask?”
    “Can I stay at your place?”
    “Ya.”

    In that scene, Tyler is trying to make the Narrator take charge and admit what he wants and just be assertive and not beat around the bush. This is similar to your friend telling you to lead. Go with it and embrace it. :)

    “We’re walking at a weird angle and I totally bitch out and keep right on in that craven stride.”

    lololol I’ve done that. Hell, I still do it now and then, early in the night when I’m out of state especially.

    ““Yeah, so do I look like a drug dealer to you?””

    Solid open. FTC, DHV, social proof, and a good wide opinion opener for them to sink their teeth into.

    “Now, one of the set steps forward”

    This can be either an ioi or the mother hen shit-testing you, but even then you can land her if she’s a mother hen…if she reacts to you at all, there’s a spark you can work with to turn into a roaring bush-fire. That’s what a lot of pickup is…we can’t like, magically make a girl who hates us suck our cock, but we learn to notice when there’s a tiny little spark, even well-hidden under a girl who seemingly hates us, and we build the tool-set to stoke that little spark into a bigger and bigger fire.

    “Then, I FORCE MYSELF TO REACT TO HER…like, to pretend as though I’m noticing something. I pause, and I tilt my head, then point in her direction as though the Perspicacity Gods graced me in a single moment.”

    Solid. This lets her feel like you weren’t into her but she’s said or done something or you noticed something about her that has suddenly piqued your interest. It gets her wondering and feeling like she’s somehow winning you over. It’s part of Pull and qualifying and you can drop in a cold-read like you did with the hairdresser thing…even if she’s NOT a hairdresser, it’s fine you just bullshit about oh it was her feminine demeanor etc and ask what she really does, blah blah.

    Best if the thing you cold-read her/compliment her on is something specific/personal personality-wise (“you’re very feisty getting in my face like that, I like feisty girls”, or “you have a good sense of style you must be a hairdresser blah blah”) VS something physical/vague (“you have beautiful eyes” or “god you’re hot”) that EVERYONE says to her. It’s like you’re seeing her under the surface.

    “Well, my friend is a hairdresser, and she always wears her hair like that.”

    Solid lol like I say it doesn’t matter if the cold-read was off. You’re following the 90-10 rule here by continuing to talk. Good stuff.

    “I fail to really mirror her though, because I’m facing away and out, and she’s looking directly at me, open stance.”

    eh fuck mirroring. I never pay attention to it lol Maybe in Comfort, but in Attraction it’s not real important compared to other things you can do (kino, push/pull, etc.) that build more attraction.

    “she thinks I should get a green mohawk — now see, on the one hand I should trust her, because she’s hot, but on the other hand, she could be fucking with me…what do you think?”

    Solid. Now you’re a guy who has a hot hairdresser friend and this is the 90-10 rule in action (before, you might’ve stopped at “wears her hair like that…” and just waited for her to do something and then been all “ah shit rejected!!!!” when she doesn’t know what to say). The whole time you’re talking, she’s processing you and trying to figure out whether to categorize you as the next random lame guy of the night or someone she should be interested in.

    Your hairdresser routine is solid. It’s got enough DHV stuff in it as-is so keep using it if you enjoy it. Notice that you’re ending up in the exact same spot you’d end up if you were a “normal” guy approaching and “winging it”…you end up at “So what do you do?” except instead of going “My name is Bob, nice to meet you Sarah, so what do you do?”, you’ve instead conveyed a bunch of fun personality, implied that you hang with a hot hairdresser chick, cold-read her and possibly complimented her in that cold-read, and assertively stated “So you’re not a hairdresser, what are you?” like you’re qualifying/testing her.

    How much more attractive and an emotional investment in the interaction is that for her, compared to Bob and Sarah, you know?

    “Turns out, that set of three girls is a set of -five- girls.”

    lol this happens a lot. This is part of why I say don’t stress picking only hot targets to approach, especially at the start of the night…or even dudes. Often you’ll be shooting the shit and then some hotties will join the group and you’re like “score!!” and have a solid intro from their friend with the new girls. I’ve had 2-sets turn into 7+ sets when I was out solo lol

    “oh shit, I really failed to engage everyone, oh man.”

    True. You focused on the black chick and excluded the rest of the group. But that’s okay, she got up in your face, if your friend had jumped in sooner he could’ve taken the rest of the group for you and then you could engage them like “Your friend and I like eachother (put the girl’s arm around you and yours around her), we hope you’ll all come to our wedding. Hi my name is Scray.”

    You might’ve been able to re-open the black chick later in the night when her friends get scattered more. She would definitely remember you. But you’d have some work to do with her since you only really got to A1 with her.

    “I don’t think he knew who was the target and who were the obstacles, because the first person he engaged was the person I was talking to.”

    lol that happens. If it’s an obvious set where there’s a hot girl and an ugly girl, it’s clear that you’re after the hot girl, but in a group of girls around the same level it’s harder to tell. He might’ve thought she was giving you shit and that you’re not into black chicks and she was the obstacle etc.

    Come up with a signal of some kind to indicate which girl you’re after so you guys don’t step on eachother’s toes. My friends I go out with regularly know what type of girl is my type and I know what type is their type so usually it’s pretty clear to both of us who gets who. If there’s a bitchy obnoxious in-your-face mother-hen type, I’ll hear my buddy say “you should meet my friend, this is YaReally” because he knows I eat those girls for breakfast (sometimes literally lol)

    “Eventually it just peters out and the all move to a booth in which to sit”

    All good. There’s something Tim from RSD calls “Rhythm 10 Till 2″ which is the observation that it’s extremely rare to meet a girl at 10pm at the bar and extract her right away or escalate on her into a situation where it’s 100% on…she and her girls just got there, they want to drink and dance and catch up and do their girl shit and flirt with boys etc. So you put some time in early in the night, then go approach other sets and find that girl again around midnight when she’s more ready to pull. You’re going with the rhythm of the night and the vibe of the club instead of fighting against it.

    Sometimes with those ones, if her friends are pulling her away but she’s into me, I’ll let her start to walk away so her friends think she’s following them, then grab her arm and stop her with my phone out and say “Hey wait, give me your number incase I lose you or my buddies want to leave…I want to see you again.” and sometimes you can grab a # that you can txt through the night while her friends are off being a drunk shit-show and she sits at their booth txting you as you build Comfort etc. via txt to possibly rendezvous for food after the bar or at least set up a solid Time Bridge for a Day 2 later in the week.

    “We failed…overwhelmed in some way.”

    lol all good, it happens. Look at it this way: the place was a massive sausage-fest and you did more than any of the other hundred+ sausages there had the balls to do. That’s pretty badass. And they all SAW it because they’re all thinking “fuck, why don’t WE have the balls to approach those girls like these guys do?? These guys are pimps!!”

    “He’s like “dude, that was awesome. You opened them. We’re rockstars in this club right now. Look at all these faggots in their nice clothes just standing around. We’ve literally talked to -all- the girls in this place.””

    lol exactly. If there had been more girls there to make it worth staying, you could’ve ridden that social proof into some good shit and snowballed the night into something epic. But hey, no reason to stay in a sausage-fest like that.

    “maybe it was the slight buzz of alcohol, but I shit you not, I became a warrior in that pass.”

    lol at this point you’ve warmed up your social muscles a bit and collected some good reference experience plus you have the fury/intent of being in a bar with some hot girls intead of stuck in a sausage-fest, so your brain is like “alright, let’s do this shit!”

    “that resistance from the other night? Gone. Replaced by — it wasn’t attraction — but just this sort of open-mindedness.”

    lol this will keep improving. These days I generally have to purposely say REALLY obnoxious/asshole-ish things for a set to snub me hard. Like 90% of the time sets are receptive to me chatting them up. This wasn’t the case when I started…at all. lol

    “it felt like…’all right kid, you’ve got a few minutes — WOW us.””

    See they know what you’re doing. They know you’re hitting on them. They know the drug dealer thing is bullshit…but they’re giving you a chance to stand out from the rest of the guys because at least you conveyed that you have enough balls to open them up when they intimidate every other guy in the room. Often a set this hot won’t even get approached for half the night because everyone is too chickenshit lol

    “They all look at one another, and it’s sort of a tepid ‘nah, not really, I mean…yeah nah….””

    See now here is where you would probably have stopped in the past and been like “ehh it fizzled out there’s no vibe, I’m rejected fuck I suck :( ” and left. But 90-10 rule:

    “I point at the 9 (yeah, that’s fucking right) and just say “you’re a hairdresser, right.””

    lol perfect. See they’re a little “uhhh I guess so?” at your approach because it’s that weirdness of someone approaching and they don’t know what to really do, plus they’re also shit-testing a little like, let’s give him the absolute minimum to work with here. The really hot ones will often not give any indication at all that they’re into you because they want to see if you’re confident enough to assume they’re into you (this is all subconscious).

    Brad (I think) from RSD puts this good: Imagine you find a $10,000 bill on the ground. You would shit a brick and jump for joy and run around telling everyone and be SO happy. That’s what it’s like when a cool guy chats up a 6, she shits a brick. But then say Bill Gates finds a $10,000 bill on the ground. Sure, he’s pleased, that’s a nice chunk of money out of nowhere and that’s a cool thing, but he has billions so he doesn’t shit a brick and jump through the roof even though he’s pleased by it. That’s a 9-10 when a cool guy chats her up. It’s just relative.

    That’s why Mystery would Neg 9s and 10s, because he knows they’re not going to give him much to work with, so he has to face-fuck their reality and just shatter the shit out of it before he’ll get to actually communicate with the REAL girl that’s under all that…the girl that’s bubbly and happy in her pyjamas on xmas day when she gets some nerdy gift from her little brother…she’s not this uptight bitch-shield asshole then lol

    So when you accuse her of being a hairdresser with breaking rapport (voice tone inflection going down instead of up at the end, like you’re assertively making statements/observations), pointing at her through the group, she’s just like “woah wtf who IS this guy??” VS if you just sat back and waited for them to ask you questions about yourself (which they won’t do till after the Hook Point) or made inoffensive small-talk.

    “Questions are for pussy betas. I AM right.”

    Perfect attitude. :) Everything you do is right and awesome until proven otherwise and even THEN everyone else is wrong and you’re still right and awesome.

    “She tilts her head and is like ‘well, no…””

    Doesn’t matter! As you know. Do you apologize for your incorrect assumption? No, you’re self-amusing, you’re gonna tell her about your fucking friend.

    “I follow it up….same routine, friend is a hairdresser.”

    If your frame is strong enough, you can convince her that maybe she should BE a hairdresser lol

    Funny story on frame control, Jamie Foxx was talking about Tom Cruise in Collateral and there’s a scene where Tom Cruise is like “Take the money. Go on, you know you want it. Take it, take the money.” and Jamie’s like “I know my line is to refuse the money, but he’s looking at you with that Tom Cruise intensity and he’s telling you take it, you want it, take the money, and suddenly I start thinking “…maybe I DO want the money?”" lol

    “She laughs, and is like ‘yeah! I actually know a lot of hairdressers who wear it this way.””

    Soliiiiid. Every hot girl knows hairdressers lol Your plane went through a shaky storm for a sec, but you held tight onto the controls and bam, broke through to the sunshine on the other side.

    “Now….listen, this may sound stupid, but liiiiike….having a 9 legit show interest in what I said there just was….well….just about the best thing ever.”

    Goddamn right. :) Even if she shoots you down, it’s a fucking 9 shooting you down, way better than being snubbed by some uggo 5. You can GET these girls. If you can act with a 9 the way you act with a 5, you’ll attract her just like the 5.

    “Then, one of the other friends makes a motion — at first I thought she was making a blowjob motion, to insult me, but then I’m like ‘what’s going on over here?’”

    lol good, taking charge, being the authority, owning the set, and including her friends VS snubbing them.

    “and her friends inform me that this one — the 5.5-6 — is ACTUALLY a hairdresser.”

    lol awesome. Such a perfect setup. On top of it, that tells you that 1) the other girls want to be included, these are a bunch of hot girls fighting over YOUR attention, the short guy who had to “tag along” with his friends a few weeks ago…and imagine how this all looks to everyone else in the room, you approaching and taking over this set like that. And 2) they’re now reacting to you instead of going “meh…” and seeing if you’ll leave.

    “I’m about to riff on that thread, probably go into something about how she should meet my hairdresser friend blah blah…”

    Solid, and the “she wants to do a mohawk on me” shit is good, girls love giving their opinion on all that. You could talk to the hairdresser directly about that for a minute and snub your 9 and let her see you work her group as you demonstrate value etc. before allowing her some more of your attention.

    This is all theoretically a really good setup for you. BUT THEN…

    “He enters the set like the Allies entered the beaches of Normandy.”

    Props to him for even jumping in lol a lot of guys would be too chickenshit and leave you hanging.

    “The first thing he says is ‘oh hey, have you met him?’ indicating me. They blink, as though that’s weird, and say ‘uh yeaaaah.’”

    lololol fail on his part! But in his defense he probably panicked and didn’t know what to say/do to get in the set. This is where you have to introduce him and hope that he can pick up the slack and keep up with you, to keep a set like this going. This is why you both have to be social high-value guys, if you bring a lame/shy guy into set, he’ll fuck the vibe up for everyone.

    “Then, my friend engages me. Something shifts in the interaction, and ALL of them turn away.”

    lol shit, ya that went toast. You want to pass the Hook Point before you can ignore the set to talk to your buddy, otherwise they’ll walk off like that. If you’re past the Hook Point and they WANT to know more about you etc., they’ll sit there with a DDB look on their face hoping you’ll give them some attention again while you ignore them to talk to your buddy.

    It’s just an issue of timing, he came in a little sooner than he needed to, and he came in sloppy. But in his defense the set was intimidating so he probably thought “shit he’s definitely going to get blown out fast so I’d better get in there right away” and probably panicked a bit when he got up to them because they were so hot and fumbled entering the set smoothly.

    All good. Remember the reference experience you just earned: That you can cold approach a group of hotties and get a *9* interested in what you’re saying. You. Short-ass little you. :) Again I say, have you grown 2 feet since a few weeks ago? No. You’ve just learned to convey your personality in an optimal/efficient manner.

    “my friend is like ‘ahhh shit, totally misread everything about that. I’m sorry man, that one chick was fucking smokin””

    lol ya he dropped the ball on that one but that’s okay, you guys will find more hotties. :)

    One thing, make sure you guys don’t high-five, cheers your drinks, or give eachother the rock after a group of hotties like that walks off, even if it goes really well. A lot of new guys do this and it instantly signals to the room (since everyone is watching you when you approach a set like that) and any of the girls’ friends aroud you that it’s such a RARE event for you to get to talk to hot girls that you guys have to CELEBRATE it lol You should just act casual and shoot the shit about the set or roll into another set, like it’s just another day at the office for you to be chatting with girls that hot.

    “and that’s where we proceeded to wonder whether she was an 8.5 or a 9 for 20 seconds.”

    lol she’d be a 10 to you guys if she was sucking your dicks. ;)

    “where a live band was playing. I followed for a sec, but then I was like ‘it’s too fucking loud in here, let’s go talk to bitches!’ He’s like ‘ya, in a sec.’ ”

    He was probably a bit out of state after fucking shit up there, and just trying to stall for time and get himself back in the groove. It’s all good. And ya, I hate live bands specifically because they’re always WAY too loud to have a conversation.

    “‘oh yeah, you guys gotten their attention yet? I can never get their attention.’”

    Decent open. I like to joke about showing them my tits to get their attention, or make a bet with her about who’s going to get served first (“you have tits, but I’m busting out my charming smile”) etc.

    “‘oh yeah, you guys gotten their attention yet? I can never get their attention.’”
    “‘nah, but yeah I know what you mean.’”
    “‘you from around here?’”
    ““yeah…””
    ““is this a cool place…””

    zzzzz…lol You’ve fallen into Interview Mode here, exact same game as every other guy. No conveying your personality or teasing or spiking her emotions or anything. You just fell into dialtone mode on this one. She didn’t give you much to work with (one word answer type stuff, not asking you questions, etc.) but that’s where the 90-10 rule comes in…here you’re trying for 50-50.

    “she’s being way friendly, despite the fact that I didn’t use any of the material”

    Friendly does not equal fucking. ;) You’re not pissing her off or weirding her out, so that’s a step up from a few weeks ago lol But there’s no attraction here at all, just friendliness.

    “I was facing the bar, standing straight, and my head was turned. Plus, I was talking slowly.”

    This is all good, but you’re not talking to her “Man to Woman”, you’re talking to her “Friend to Friend”. The interaction just has no charge to it is all. But notice that your vibe isn’t the same as you had before…you’ve created this mundane interaction yourself essentially.

    “Maybe she was friendly because she was just with a dude. Whatever, opened another set, right?”

    lol all good. Nothing you can do about that one. Often if you just shoot the shit with the dude in a cool friendly way, you can actually make friends out of the two of them, then if another girl joins them the dude introduces you to her etc. It’s a little bit awkward/rocky here because he interjected like “umm dude that’s my girl cough cough” lol but you could turn it around if you wanted to.

    Nothing wrong with just wishing them a good night and moving on though. You have other girls to open. :)

    “Immediately, inside I either think that the Universe has finally decided to smile upon me or that this bitch is probably taken. The latter turns out to be true”

    lol This kind of thing happens more in the live music venues, where there are a lot more regulars (like that last girl who knew everything about the bar, she’s probably there a lot) and everyone’s kind of taken and the social circles know eachother but everyone’s friendly etc. Again you could befriend this chick and her dude and she might know some girls she can introduce you to or you might run into her in a couple weeks if you’re there again and now you have social proof etc.

    But nothing wrong with again, wishing them a good night and peacing out to open more sets. Right now you want to collect a ton of reference experience opening. Later on you can worry about building nightlife social circles.

    “I find him at the bar, drinking another drink. He’s like ‘go open those four girls’ and I’m like ‘yeah, those are the ones I already opened.’ He laughs…’hmph, well there aren’t any other good groups to open here.’ So I’m like ‘then let’s get to gettin’.’”

    lol I think he’s out of state here. Same thing as you when you were wandering around “looking lost” the other week. It’s hard to claw back into state and you start distracting yourself with drinks or wanting to leave or getting buddies to approach instead etc. If I can tell my buddy’s falling out of it like that I’ll usually try to help pump him up or embarrass myself with him to get him laughing and shake him out of his head or if we have to, venue change. It’s VERY hard to turn around from a state nosedive without doing something drastic. One of the RSD instructors squirts lime juice in his students’ eyes to shake their senses out of a negative state…I don’t recommend that lol

    “So we go upstairs, and immediately my friend opens this 8.”

    solid. If he WAS feeling out of state, the venue change is like re-rolling your D&D stats lol, it might not help but often resetting like that can change the night entirely and jumpstart you again.

    “Now, I feel like a tool, and I immediately turn around to head back downstairs.”

    One open I like in these situs is to grab a set nearby and go “Hey, my friend is being taken advantage of by a girl over there so I’m all by myself, alone and scared and I figured I’d say hi…take pity on me!!” and then go into riffing about people going home together from the bar and relationships and all that shit.

    “On the way, I spot a 5.5 and a 7 sitting down. The thought was — shit, if I could get a 9 to laugh, surely I could do something with these chicks.”
    :) That’s Reference Experiences in action. THAT’S why I encourage guys to go out instead of Keyboard Jockeying. You need to build those little successes where your brain says “shit if I was able to do THAT, I can obviously do THIS”.

    ““Nah, you don’t look like a drug dealer, but in that blazer you look like you’re ready to do some lines.””

    lol that’s a cool chick. Great vibe, these are my type of girls.

    “I actually laugh. “What….who….ME? No-I-would-never!””

    I’ll often qualify a girl if she actually legit makes me laugh. I’ll tell her not many girls make me laugh like that, what’s your name? and show some interest. Note that she’s winning me over with her personality, not her looks, so it’s qualifying her instead of needy/lame like if I was just interested in her because she had a pussy and I’d take anything with a pussy.

    “We share a laugh — the 5.5′s laughter is a bit more restrained.”

    Ya, ’cause the 5.5 knows she’s boring compared to her friend lol Include her in the fun when you notice this vibe! She won’t blatantly cockblock you because they’re sitting down and her friend clearly has a good vibe with you, but down the road if you don’t address her she’ll fuck it up because she’s not having fun.

    “Then, I get to my hairdresser thing about the green mohawk. They’re into it.”

    It’s solid. And the “fucking with me?” ending is great because you’re not afraid to swear in front of them etc. You’re showing that you’re just a cool guy who’s used to being around girls.

    “Then, I launch into my DHV story — finnnaaaaallllly.”

    Excellent. See, having a gameplan helps hey? :)

    “I talk about how my crazy hairdresser friend pushed some 6’4 guy at a concert and then said I was going to fight him.”

    Not sure about this story. It sort of paints you as a guy who might get into fights at the bar which a stranger who’s just met you can get to thinking “I don’t want to be assosciated with him if he gets kicked out later”. Something better would be an ending where you diffuse the situation with something confident/fun/humorous and the guy supplicates to you.

    I’d tweak it something like “so then the guy turns to me like he wants to go and I go “WOAH, hold on here!” and everyone stops, I look at my friend and go “I don’t wanna’ hit this guy…he’s too ugly as it IS! :D ” and everyone’s eyes go wide open like holy shit did he just say that?? and everyone’s all ready for him to start swinging…but the guy, and he must’ve been a little drunk or something, stares at me for a second and then just BURSTS OUT laughing and slaps me on the back and ends up buying me a beer lol Why do girls always start shit like that up? You two aren’t trouble are you? Hmmm, THIS one is, I can tell…she’s quiet and tiny, but I bet after a few drinks she’s elbowing her way through the crowd like “GTFO of my way assholes!!” lol”

    See that’s the same general story, but in this one you’re building edge-of-the-seat “omg what happened next??” tension and then relieving it with a funny-ass twist, then this AMOG dude supplicates to you, and you smoothly transition into cold-reading the girls you’re talking to and roleplaying/etc. with them. :)

    You’re still demonstrating that you can “protect your friend” and “stand up to a guy” (which is that whole demonstrating that you can protect a girl and handle your shit thing that tall guys demonstrate just by being tall), but you’re doing it in a way that shows you’re socially savvy and cool and a leader of men instead of just another angry UFC wannabe bar douche.

    “the 5.5 gets back onto the topic about the mohawk, and she’s like ‘well, do you mean a mohawk or a faux-hawk?’”

    lol she’s DYING to be a part of the fun. This is actually a really socially awkward thing for her to do, cut a fun thread to go back to an old one lol but you know through your whoooole story she was thinking “ummm umm I wanna ask my question!! I hope he likes my question!!” like a kid waving their hand around in the classroom hoping the teacher will acknowledge them.

    This question also marks passing the Hook Point with the group.

    “At this point, I act as though that’s a really interesting distinction and take the opportunity to sit down across from them.”

    Good, once you sit down you look like you’re a part of their group instead of like “a guy hitting on them”. You don’t have to acknowledge what you’re doing or anything, just sit down like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like, of course you’d sit down, it would be strange for someone to call you out on that.

    Notice that BECAUSE you’re past the Hook Point, it’s okay to sit down. Before the Hook Point, they wonder when you’re going to leave so you need the False Time Constraint. But because you passed the Hook Point, now they hope you don’t leave, so sitting down is welcome.

    “Now, I just instinctively start to focus on the 5.5, because I dunno…I read Ya’s comment about the other ‘STFU girl’ and was like ‘try to ingratiate yourself a little to the obstacle.’ So, I spend time talking with her about stuff and actually kind of cooling it with the 7.”

    Solid play. Very very solid group theory here. Well done!

    Now the catch is that if you focus on the 5.5 TOO much, the 7 will go “My 5.5 friend NEVER gets a cool guy like this, I’ll back off and leave them alone so they can hook up” and then you’re fucked lol. But you avoid that doom perfectly with:

    “I — acting a little ADD while the obstacle talks, bring the 7 back into conversation by pointing at a pyramid shaped ring she has — ”

    This. PERFECT. Now you’re signalling to the 7 “hey, I’m talking to your friend, but don’t think I’m making a move on her…YOU’RE the one I’m actually after.” If you ignored her, the 7 might wander off and leave you with the 5.5 completely thinking you’re more interested in her.

    ““Me too! But then, I’d probably hate you because I mean…you’d still have a FULL ring pop left. What kind of person doesn’t eat the ring pop?!””

    lol all good stuff here. Teasing, roleplaying, push/pull, etc. Also this chick has a good vibe. There are lots of girls like this out there, they’re not all bitchy frustrating awkward shit-testing girls like a lot of guys who “hate North American women” think (because they don’t approach).

    “Then I tell her friend to make up a story about the ring.”

    Good stuff, you’re making them invest in the interaction here. Requiring them to do shit, ordering them around, etc.

    You really do have solid natural instincts for vibing with people, you’re just winging all this ring shit. The difference between now and a few weeks ago is that now you feel more comfortable expressing yourself and you aren’t stifled and restricted trying to think of what would impress them, you’re just shooting from the hip saying what you want to and riffing off your own self-amusement…and they love it because only a guy who’s confident around women can do that.

    “I go with the obstacle’s story”

    lol good, the 7 knows you like her so it’s okay to give her a little shit by choosing her friend’s story. Essentially at this point what’s happening is that the 7 and you are sub-communicating that you dig eachother, but you both kind of know the 5.5 is a little more awkward/lame, so she knows you’re humoring the 5.5 (and most girls like that you’re cool enough to do that) the way you’d know if a really hot girl you were talking to was asking some lame nerd friend of yours to tell her more about his Warcraft hobby lol

    ““Oh really? You’re good at analyzing people? What’s -her- biggest fear?””

    oooooooo this is good. Really good. Now you’re pitting them against eachother sort of and creating this big group interaction and even forcing them to kind of feel a little awkward about it etc. This is one of those things where later on they’ll be like “remember when that guy said such and such??” lol

    “smile (now, this whole time I’ve been facing away from them a bit in my body language, and they’ve been turned toward me…now, I bring myself in), and say “How about -I- go first?””

    Solid. You’re into C1 and transitioning into C2 right now, with both of them. This is all really solid so far. Opening up first about your fear is great, you can build a realllly strong bond here.

    “”my biggest fear is to skydive into a pool full of sharks that then eat me alive.””

    lol funny, but at this specific point you went backwards in the sarge. You were in C1 heading into C2 depending on what you said here, but then you pulled back with some funny/dancing-monkey/humor stuff and dragged the sarge backwards back into A3.

    That was a REALLY solid opportunity to open up about an actual deep fear of yours and really bond and build a connection with them, which would encourage them to really open up about real fears of theirs and take you into a REALLY solid C2.

    By turning it into a joke, you cause them to kind of go “ohhh I was going to open up, but I guess we’re still joking around here, whew, glad I didn’t say anything real, okay I’ll think up a joke answer” and you’re going backwards in terms of building a deep powerful “I’m so intrigued by this guy and the emotions he makes me feel” connection.

    No biggie, I’m just pointing it out so you learn to recognize it in the future. There’s a point where you can slow up on the humor and transition into the comfort/rapport stuff…you can still dip back into the humor, but usually it’s AFTER you connect. So you all share your super deep fears and get into this amazing deep connection conversation bonding…then to lighten the mood in that awkward silence that follows after everyone’s opened up like that, THAT’S when you could go “…also I’m scared of skydiving into a pool of sharks and being eaten alive. Just figured I’d throw that one in there too. ;) ” and relieve all the deep tension and bring you all back to reality again, except now you’ve shared a lot and have a solid C2 connection.

    Hope that makes sense!

    “then she reveals the target’s fear, which is “moving on” from her first love or whatever.”

    Socially akward girl lol

    “I don’t dwell on it, I just spin it into something else”

    Good lol The 5.5 is like a nerdy awkward friend you bring out for the first time who’s like “wow your dress is SHORT!!” to a girl you’re talking to and you’re like “ummm ya so anyway” and have to kind of work around his awkwardness lol

    ““you’re an aquarius….” The target just lights up — like ‘how did you know?!’ blah blah blah. Lucky guess.”

    lol shhhh she doesn’t need to know! ;) I like to throw in stuff like “oh man I’m a (whatever your sign is) I heard Aquarius and Whatevers don’t get along. They just fight all the time. You wouldn’t take my shit and I wouldn’t take yours. We’d have to carry around foam nerf bats so we could just smack eachother.” (oldschool Tyler routine there, “you and I are too similar”, google it, it’s awesome)

    “Right now, I’m feeling pretty awesome.”

    You fucking should lol You’re owning this set right now with really solid game.

    “But the obstacle likes me, and she gives me a hint”

    See if she didn’t like you, like if you had ignored her and not made her feel like a part of the group, she’d've used getting her sign wrong to insult you and try to get you to fuck off. But because she approves of you and doesn’t want you to go, she gives you a hint. :)

    A lot of the obstacles and mother hens that everyone pisses and moans about are actually your ALLY, if you understand group theory and can win them over instead of being a creepy sniper jumping out of the shadows to attack your target and ignore the group.

    This is the girl that when you get the 7s number you can say “Make sure she txts me back okay? And get her home safe.” and the 5.5 will nod furiously and go “OKAY!!!!” and if the 7 is still on the fence about if she wants to see you again her 5.5 will be sitting there going “Do iiiittt!!! Txt him omg he’s so coool!!!!” and can totally turn the tide in your favor.

    “Suddenly, the obstacle is like ‘hey, are you here alone?’”

    lol if you get this question before the Hook Point it’s a shit-test/insult like the vibe is “ugh are you some loser who’s here alone?” But AFTER the Hook Point, and especially THIS far into the sarge, it’s not an attempt to tool you, it’s her thinking “god this guy is SO cool, isn’t he here with friends?? He seems like a guy that should have a ton of friends here, he’s so amazing!!” and they’re genuinely curious.

    When I’d get that while I was solo I would tell them “No, my friends wanted to stay in tonight and I’m new to the city so I figured I’d come out and have some fun.” and they’d DDB me and go “wowwww I could NEVER do that, that’s so ballsy…” like I was the most amazing thing in the fucking world to them lol

    …but that’s AFTER you pass the Hook Point. ;)

    If your buddy is there but you don’t know where he is, I usually say “nah, I came here with my buddy but some girl grabbed him and is taking advantage of him or something lol” because 1) that says you have a friend there but explains why he’s not coming over to you, 2) it sets a tone of “people hook up a the bar”, and 3) it makes your friend seem like a cool pimp because some girl grabbed him and kidnapped him so if he comes over eventually to join your set, he’s already socially proofed to those girls…they’ll ask him “Where’d that girl go?” of course, so fill him in in advance or hope that he can play it off on the fly lol

    “I’m here with a friend and that we’re actually trying to find a girl that keeps texting me to come to a bar, but she keeps failing to tell us where (I’m so sure I must have read about this gambit somewhere).”

    …so basically you chase around girls who lead you on and don’t like you enough to make any effort to find you?

    lol not a set killer, at this point you would have to fuck up a bunch to actually kill the set, but not a DHV. Try my routine (or something else) instead next time!

    “The good news is that I actually do have a female friend who sort of could fit that bill. And that friend is decently attractive.”

    They don’t know that though lol But they like you enough that they probably assume she’s pretty hot.

    “Target immediately asks to see pictures of her. God bless America.”

    lol scopin’ out her competition.

    “Then, like an angel from on high, my friend swoops in again.”

    whew!

    “then proceeds to tackle the warpig like Teddy Roosevelt on Safari”

    lol okay he made up for fucking up that set with the 9 at the other bar. :) Notice that now that he’s had some female attention from that girl from when he first walked in, he’s probably feeling pretty pumped up and in state. If THIS version of your friend had joined your 4-set with the 9, you guys would probably have gotten a lot further with them.

    “Strangely enough, this is where I start to struggle.”

    lol

    “I feel like I told several cool stories that were fun and whatnot, but I didn’t really get to find out a whole lot about her, if that makes any sense.”

    You can flat out say this to her. “I feel like I’ve been blabbing about myself all night…I don’t know anything about you except that you like the Beatles. Tell me something interesting about yourself. Like (insert some interview mode questions here, they’re fine now that you’re in comfort/rapport)?”

    “And we did have a cool conversation about them.”

    At this point the problem is you’re not showing your Intent. You figure this out later which is good, but basically the vibe for her is still a little bit too far into “friend to friend” VS “man to woman”. You’re having a “cool conversation” but it’s not progressing forward in terms of the sarge. She won’t progress it forward generally, you need to lead it.

    That’s why I say you had that really great opportunity with the fears question, but you pulled it back into attraction so now you’re stuck talking about the Beatles instead of being able to drop back into C2 by bringing up “Your friend said you’re afraid of moving on…did you break up recently?” and then transitioning into C3. You’re sort of stuck in A3/C1 now.

    “I managed to kino a little with her (incidental, just putting my hand on her arm when lightly teasing).”

    With kino, a general note to remember is to do it assertively, not hesitantly. Don’t acknowledge it, don’t look where you’re touching, just do it like it’s the most natural thing in the world to you.

    See now if you were able to drop back into C2 and start transitioning to C3, that’s where you could literally just sit beside her and put your arm around her (if the seating allows it lol, you can pull her chair closer to yours if you’re in separate individual seats, it’s a pretty boss move to just reach under her seat and yank her chair closer to yours and put your arm aroud her). And then you’re basically a couple, sharing a deep connection, when in reality you’re in a bar and just met an hour ago.

    But being trapped in A3/C1, that kind of kino feels more awkward.

    “Probably the best thing I did — again much props to Ya — was roleplay.”

    Happy to help and glad you’re listening lol Makes it worth writing these up for ya. :)

    ““Okay, remember your fake story for the ring. We’re going to practice. Pretend you just met me — which you did!””

    Solid to call-back to that, it also shows her that you remember the shit she says…it’s like using her name out of the blue, she’s like “wow he remembered!!” The only part to leave off here is the “which you did”. Don’t remind her you just met or you’ll trigger her ASD lol When you’re building comfort/rapport, she starts to feel like somehow she’s known you FOREVER, even though logically she knows that’s not true…that comfort is the same comfort you build when you venue change her a bunch and she enters a bunch of new environments with you, it’s like she’s known you FOREVER…that’s the vibe that’ll help her sleep with you because then you’re not just some random, you’re someone she feels like she’s known for a long time.

    Notice that you’re not doing one blatant thing to fuck this up, there’s just a handful of little things that kind of pile on eachother (the sharing fears part, reminding her you’ve just met, etc.) to shake her out of the vibe enough to fuck it up.

    ““How droll! We should arrange a marriage swiftly and combine diamonds and rings, why, why…we’ll be unstoppable!””

    Fucking lol. Seriously, once you’re in state and loosened up, you’re spitting out gold here. Some guys might read this and be like “dude you should be cooler like James Bond, this is dancing monkey shit” but those guys are stupid and don’t get how much girls eat this shit up.

    “She laughs and actually starts mimicking the snooty voice ‘yess, yess we should!””

    lol definitely a cool girl. You guys have an awesome FRIEND vibe here. You could have a super solid FRIENDSHIP…being FRIENDS…not having sex. ;) lol

    “(whole interaction was over an hour long)”

    Nice! This is the same guy who had like a 5 sneer at him when he tried to dance-grind up to her at a club a month ago. In an hour long set, running half the set all by himself, purposely gaming a 7 with an awesome personality.

    “And the target smiles and says ‘yeah!””

    She likes you, but having read the next Field Report first we know her number flakes, which is odd…

    “So…I proceed to get both obstacle and target’s numbers”

    …..

    ………………………

    oh SCRAY…lol

    “(I regret this in retrospect. I should have been more direct, I think…in showcasing interest for only the target).”
    :) Yup. well mystery solved at least lol

    See remember that here you’re still kind of trapped in that friend zone vibe with her, since you couldn’t get to C3, and you can’t kino or anything and you’re talking about The Beatles and shit so you’re stuck in this “she doesn’t know my Intent, that I want to fuck her” friend to friend limbo…and then on top of it you grab BOTH their numbers, so then she REALLY doesn’t know if you actually like her or what your deal is.

    PUAs call it a Statement of Intent, but basically there’s a point where you need to make it clear that you want HER specifically, for romantical purposes. A lot of guys will do this way too early in the set when they haven’t got enough attraction yet, and blow themselves out (“why does he want me? I haven’t even done anything yet, he must do this to all the girls”).

    But for you, if you had been able to get to C2 or C3 again, you could drop some “Hey, you’re a fun chick, and I like your style. I want to see you again sometime. Give me your number.” Hell, you could probably still have done it even without C2/C3, you’d just need to run some solid text game.

    The main thing is to qualify her like “You’ve impressed me for THIS reason, SO I want your number BECAUSE of that.” Like so she knows she’s earned it. Then you can solidify it with stuff like “You’re not one of those drunk chicks that hands her number out to everyone are you? hmmm…no…you don’t seem like that type.” and then REALLY solidify it with “(to her 5.5 friend) Make sure she txts me back or my heart will be broken. ;)

    It’s all good though, it’s all a learning experience lol. You may run into her again and you try to recover.

    “But…whatever, that’s my first legit number close I think.”

    It was legit, in that you handled that whole set and pickup like a boss. That was an actual “pickup” to a #-close. Off a cold-approach no less. A lot of guys can’t do that. You should definitely be proud of your progress here. :)

    We know the number flakes, but we can guess why because of your thorough Field Report:

    “I’m pretty sure I made several mistakes. I -know- I did”
    “I was weak in comfort, probably weak in having her qualify herself. Probably did shit out of order, too.”

    lol exactly. :) Live and learn! You’ll tighten that shit up as you meet more girls. Like I say, it’s rarely one huge thing that fucks a pickup up…it’s a bunch of little things that sabotage it collectively.

    “it’s only day 3 of the official Project PUA.”

    lol it’s good that you have a name for it and shit. Embrace it and run with it…100% or 0%, all or nothing, you know?

    “Now, I went out with the goal of opening 20 sets, but I never got that far.”

    It’s good to set goals like that. If you get distracted, you get distracted, but at least you were distracted by hanging with a fun 7…that’s an alright distraction. :) If you were just picking your ass getting drunk in a corner feeling like shit, that’s a fail worth kicking yourself over.

    “It seems like…opening in a way that demonstrates value is pretty solid.”

    Yup. Like I say, we’re looking at “How do I express my personality and demonstrate how awesome I KNOW and my friends KNOW and my MOM knows, but do it in an efficient manner in that tiiiiny little window of “okay you have like 10 seconds to impress us, what do you got?” that girls at the bar give you?”

    You earn 10 seconds, then you earn another 20 seconds, then you earn a couple minutes, then you earn 5 minutes, then they want you to stay with them for half an hour, then they want you to stay till last call, then they want you to come over, then they want to wake up and have breakfast with you. :)

    “Like, the drug dealer opener went over way better when cushioned with the false time constraint”

    Yup, the FTC was a fucking brilliant observation by Style. I use it in a way that fits my personality more, like “Hey, help me out a sec…” which says the same thing as “I can only stay for a minute and then I have to get back to my friends” but in a way that fits my in-your-face vibe more. The concept is the same though, I’m letting them know “I only need your attention for a second…” and they’re more receptive because of it, then you just keep going.

    It’s good that you can notice the difference. Like I say, a lot of PUA game was discovered by going out and approaching 20 girls one way, then approaching 20 more with a slight tweak, and then figuring out “why did it work these times but not these times, what were the common factors?” and backwards engineering what works.

    That’s also why PUA Game isn’t “theory” or “ideas” like the Jockey shit guys who don’t go out regularly spout…it’s consistent principles that are forged out of analysis of mass anecdotal data.

    “and the fact that, rather than my friends giving me that opinion, some random girls -opened- me to give me that opinion.”

    A perfect tweak to it. Instant social proof and DHV by changing it to a girl opening you. If you watch Cajun in Keys to the VIP you’ll notice he does the same thing with that opener, it’s GIRLS that come up to him for drugs, not guys or friends etc. That’s why he’s pro. :) Girls pick up on these little tiny things because their subconscious is primed to look for them because they indicate high-value mates. If you’re too blatant with them (“these supermodels asked me if I have drugs and then gave me blowjobs”) it comes off as fake and try-hard, but when you drop in little subtle things like this it comes off solid.

    “Like, when someone shows a bit of intrigue, I just sort of ‘YEAH AND IF YOU LIKED THAT HERE’S MORE OF WHAT I WAS SAYING OR WHAT I WANT TO SAY, YAAAAAAY!’”

    lolol this’ll fix itself in time. I fall into it a lot because I talk fast in real life, so I have to either roll with it entirely (Russell Brand style verbal gymnastics) or consciously chill out.

    Tyler still does this a lot in his seminar videos, he’ll crack a little joke and the crowd will laugh and you can almost see him thinking “oh you liked that did you?? here’s more!! give me your validation!!!!” and the joke gets awkward and goes on too long lol

    ““Yeah, I actually think she -may- have been a prostitute.””

    lol

    “His words on my success were “yeah, that’s really awesome, I’m really proud of you. -But- don’t fuck up. You will fuck up if you focus on fucking this girl. What I mean is that, just have the same vibe you had when you first started talking to them. You’re like, this guy who has tons of girls in his life, and you know, why not one more? You don’t -need- to fuck her.”

    His advice is very solid. Dude knows his shit. I ended the quoting there because I want to add to that…”You don’t -need- to fuck her…you -WANT- to fuck her.” That’s the key that you were missing by the end of that sarge. You just had “You don’t -need- to fuck her……..” and that’s it, because you got stuck in “friend to friend” land. Stating your Intent and getting into a “man to woman” vibe is where you’d add that “I don’t need to fuck you but you’ve won me over and now I WANT to fuck you” patch that fixes it.

    But ya, really good advice from your buddy.

    “They were nicer this time, so that was nice.”

    lol in the future you’ll be mind-blown if they AREN’T nice. Like it will be so outside of your reality that a girl wouldn’t be receptive/nice to you chatting her up that you’ll think she’s mentally damaged.

    “But I mean…when that 9 (or 8-8.5 whatever) laughed, even a little, it was a good moment. A hopeful moment.”

    Damn right. That’s why we get hooked in the game. :) Even now, I’ve talked to a ton of girls, but when I meet one that blows my mind looks-wise and is just totally my type, it’s like the adrenaline flows and everything in that conversation feels 1000x better than even having sex with a bunch of average chicks.

    You would actually do better with the hotter girls than the ugly/average ones BECAUSE of your height. It’s such an unexpected thing for a short guy to approach a smokin’ hottie that automatically you gain a foothold of “wow he’s either stupidest man in the world, or the most confident man in the world” lol

    Whereas a 6’4″ guy is EXPECTED to approach those kinds of girls, so when he does he doesn’t get any bonus points.

    Like I say, the short guy players I know who do well with girls are always hooking up with 8+ chicks that make you go “wtf?? how did that happen??” and I think this “getting extra bonus points” is a part of it. Logically most people would think “oh well a short guy has to settle for a 4-6 because he’s not a 10 himself” and even some gamers believe in the “you can get 1 point above or below you” notion…but when you go out a lot and you meet a lot of people and you see how it really works, you run into little nuances like this where a short guy can get 8+ girls because he’s figured out how to use his height to his advantage.

    “Cold approaching seems pretty solid”

    It’s a rush, and super fun, and makes you keep on your toes, and the satisfaction when you’re boning a chick who was literally a complete stranger just a few hours ago or on your first date is like, there’s no better feeling lol

    “and I totally disagree with me other friend who thinks it’s ‘dumb’ and ‘cool people don’t do that.’”

    Your friend is lame and scared and his ego is terrified of other people judging him. That’s not the kind of guy that’s going to land 9s and 10s. Keep doing your think, fuck anyone who thinks like that and tries to stifle you or put restrictions on what you can accomplish.

    “I watched pretty much every other guy in the pubs, clubs, etc. just stand there like chodes…messing with their bros or keeping to their social circles. It’s empowering.”

    Yup. This is why when people talk about the good looking rich guys who are slaying all the 10s at the bar it’s like no, actually go out and watch those guys. 90% of the time they stand aroud on Death Row fucking terrified and overwhelmed by the club environment and they either get drunk and hang with their bros in a chode-crystal commenting on how hot all the girls are, or they stick to girls in their social circle or go home with uggos who open them.

    Meanwhile you are walking through the club like you own the place, making girls laugh and smile and flirting with them, grabbing #s, and down the road grabbing kisses and getting booty calls, etc. while they stand there along the wall of the bar going “lol that guy is SO try-hard…let’s do another shot bro!!”

    “Ya, you were totally right about talking to hotter chicks. Way more fun.”

    I’m always right. ;) Glad you’re having fun, keep it up! You have the natural instincts to be good at this.



Troll Comment Of The Week

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on January 9, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Original Link

I only allow girls to be on top during sex so I don’t have to move to put my cock in them. Thrusting implies that you have to try to be inside a vagina so obviously thrusting is beta.

Seriously tho, where did all the keyboard jockeys come from suddenly? Did we get linked on some kind of feminist brony forum?

[Heartiste: lol. It's all part of the troll kingdom masta plan to flood briskly honest internet forums with nonsensical gibberish so that people who might be otherwise enlightened miss the 800 pound reality in their line of sight.]



Declining Intimacy Vs Declining Attraction

Original Link

via Heartiste

Charlesz Martel
on January 8, 2013 at 2:24 pm
Original Link

Sadly, all too true.
Chateau, are you going to the AR conference?


  • frozenpie77
    on January 8, 2013 at 4:26 pm
    Original Link

    I’ll be there. ;)

    But on another note:

    Say you’re involved with a girl you’d like to see around long-term. And you drop a nuclear neg on her, after she jokingly drops one on you.

    She explodes, says she never wants to talk again, and so on.

    Do I wait it put and go for the indifference method, or dig myself out of the hole (avoiding saying sorry, of course)?


    • immoralgables
      on January 8, 2013 at 4:45 pm
      Original Link

      I was more or less in the same boat as you recently with a girl I’m seeing.

      She was very upset at some callous comment I made regarding me not including her in my New Years Plans. I apologized but didn’t lose the frame. She went on to try to give me the silent treatment. It was like a Mexican standoff but at that point I said fuck it which was easy because there were other plates I was trying to spin.

      -After 5 days of silence she called and left a voicemail the day before Xmas eve. I didn’t reply.
      - She sent me a Merry Xmas text filled with emoticons on Xmas. I didn’t reply.
      -3 days after Xmas she asked if I wanted to “how about holiday sex no strings attached zero dark thirty?” I didn’t reply.
      - the next day I replied with “Sure”.
      - the day after that she invited me to the movies, made dinner afterward and had awesome sex. Nothing regarding hard feelings ever came up and I acted like nothing ever happened.

      This is just one example but what I learned was my silence towards her made her want to win me back. She went from “fuck him I’m not going to talk to him anymore” to “ok I should check on him before he goes home for Xmas” to “ok I should wish him merry Xmas before its over” to “ok fine let me see if he wants to fuck and watch one of his action movies. ”

      TL;DR give her the silent and indifferent treatment but if commenters unanimously agree to do otherwise then listen to them.


      • Anonymous
        on January 8, 2013 at 6:04 pm
        Original Link

        This post is so right on time it’s uncanny. I was seeing this chick for 5 months. Complete party girl, me and her would go out raving doing all kinds of stuff i really liked her. Me being aloof, she’d be telling me that i’m the only one she hasn’t been able to figure out in her life, wanted to meet my parents when they came to visit me and on top of this she used to live 3h away she’d always visit me. All this time i was never sure if i was the only one in her life but i was sure she’d keep coming back.
        Anyways she went south africa for 6months to travel and stayed over at mine before she flew. However she came back early before xmas because she ran out of money and didn’t tell me she was back. Ever since that i’ve been really pissed off but haven’t shown any signs of anger. It’s been distant texts and no phone calls or skype. She msgd me over xmas but that’s about the only time she initiated a txt.
        Basically the tides have turned and now i’m in the chaser mode. Normally i wouldn’t give a fuck about a bitch but she was my party girl. I’m really upset.
        Tried to get her on skype twice but she said she was busy, invited her last wknd but she came up with a lame excuse to which i concluded ‘right’ on chateau’s advice.
        Should i just do the silent treatment as i’ve been doing and get on with my life or should i post some photos of me having fun on facebook/ call her?
        I’m all ears.


        • YaReally
          on January 8, 2013 at 8:42 pm
          Original Link

          She’s gone. She sucked a bunch of dick on her trip and realized there are other guys out there who are fun besides you. Now that she’s back she’s either found someone who’s more convenient than you or she’s simply got some perspective now and doesn’t believe you’re worth the 3hr trip to “party with” anymore.

          Either way, you have one-itis and won’t get her back in your current headspace. Time to GFTOW.


        • Skunk
          on January 9, 2013 at 1:29 pm
          Original Link

          You’ve lost this one. Even silence is going to come of as pouting at this point. Don’t just give her a silent treatment, forget about her entirely.


      • YaReally
        on January 8, 2013 at 8:38 pm
        Original Link

        This is a Soft Next. Not sure if you executed it on purpose as a strategy or by fluke because you were legitimately disinterested in talking to her but ya, you executed it perfect and it did what it was supposed to. Well done!:

        http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?5492-How-To-Soft-Next-Step-by-step-instructions-and-answers-to-questions


    • frozenpie77
      on January 8, 2013 at 9:18 pm
      Original Link

      UPDATE:

      I kept my cool, slyly shifted the blame to her, and then didn’t say a thing.

      She texted me the next morning saying she never wanted to talk again, again. xD

      I said nothing.

      She called me that afternoon and totally apologized to me. :)

      Thanks Chateau.


      • casaanova
        on January 9, 2013 at 10:51 am
        Original Link

        You should’ve just stopped talking to her entirely and worked on other girls; now she’s getting the idea that you’re her only option. You’re flirting with the friendzone


        • frozenpie77
          on January 9, 2013 at 4:37 pm
          Original Link

          Well, I pretty much did stop talking to her. I let her bitch, but I twisted the story to make it look like she was really the bitch in it (even though mine was the real dick move). She called the next day feeling really bad and apologized. There were no sorrys, and there was no groveling from me.


          • YaReally
            on January 9, 2013 at 8:30 pm
            Original Link

            “but I twisted the story to make it look like she was really the bitch in it”

            This was the key part in it. Stronger frame wins, so if you tell her she was being a bitch and then stop communicating, she’ll start falling into that frame of “omg he really thinks I was a bitch, maybe I was if he feels that strongly that I was!!”

            I would have txted her “You’re acting like a child.” or “You’re being ridiculous.” and then Soft Nexted her for a week. Basically the same thing you did.

            When she comes back to you, it’s best to just be chill about it. She’ll apologize/grovel and you just brush it off like “It’s cool. You can buy the first round on Friday. I’ll pick you up at 7, dress up.” etc.

            Glad it worked out! And more importantly, glad you can tell she was just testing you (she was probably doing it subconsciously).


  • Zombie Shane
    on January 8, 2013 at 5:03 pm
    Original Link

    I don’t know about the Intimacy/Attraction dichotomy, as outlined above [that's a whole lotta writing which would take me quite a while to read], but here are my two cents’ worth as regards LTRs:

    A) Women LOVE sex, and, in particular, they LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to be fucked.

    B) For the guy, the sex starts getting boring really fast.

    So if you really care about your woman, then after a few months, you’re gonna be in a position where you have to FORCE yourself to service your her [if you're married, "to service" = "to perform your marital obligations"]:Three or four times a week, at 9PM or 10PM at night, after a long hard day at work, when you’re completely exhausted, you’re going to have to FORCE yourself to summon the energy to make that move in bed, to start feeling up your woman, to maybe eat her out for 20 or 30 minutes, and then to bone her for another 30 or 45 minutes, so that she gets a good 2 or 3 or 4 orgasms [and you gotta hold back that whole time so that she gets her orgasms in, before you can finally release once and for all and then immediately fall sound asleep for a good 8 hours or more].

    And that shit is hard, HARD, HARD work.

    Trust me – as counterintuitive as it may seem – in an LTR, the man loses interest in the sex LONG before the woman loses interest in it.

    And a loving husband just has to grit his teeth, suck it up, and force himself to give his wife what she needs.

    PS: Everything I have just written is dead serious – it is NOT satire [just in case anyone thinks I'm being a smart ass].

    Servicing your woman is HARD WORK!!!


    • Dr. Zoidberg
      on January 8, 2013 at 6:31 pm
      Original Link

      Truth. I’m in that dilemma now. I’ve been dating the current GF for like 9 months (flew by – didn’t even we’ve been dating that long). I love spending time with her as we are both artsy/crafty, enjoy the same boring/wholesome activities, have the sense of humor, etc. and after 9 months is still content just to see me on the weekends. Except the sex is getting boring. Put it in, slap her, choke her, she licks my ass, cum somewhere in or on her, rinse and repeat is actually gotten boring! Never thought I’d see that day.

      Now the internal debate is whether to keep the cool, cute but not hot, youngin’ or hunt down some hotter, newer tail who will probably have a worse personality and be more clingy. What say ye internets?


      • YaReally
        on January 9, 2013 at 2:13 pm
        Original Link

        If you had structured an open relationship from the start, you could have the best of both worlds. :)

        I find my ideal situation is to have a Primary (all my girls know about her and know she comes first to me, I do all the relationship type stuff with her, holidays are spent with her, she gets to hear me say “I love you”, she knows I hook up with other girls here and there when I’m on my own time but doesn’t know the details or frequency and I screen her to make sure she’s low drama about it, and she knows that she is a million times more important to me than any other girls and that I’ll always come back to her (making her trust this last bit is the hardest part, a girl’s biggest fear is that you’ll replace her), she’s allowed to call all my other girls “your whores/sluts/etc” like “oh were you with one of your whores yesterday?” and I refer to them the same way to her if I mention them (I generally don’t of course)), a rotating Secondary (we basically just fuck, she’s ideally super kinky like the kind of sex that’s a blast but would be exhausting to have every day, i say rotating because she can be a little drama it doesn’t matter (often the sex is better with crazy girls) because I can easily replace her if she’s too much drama, she knows about my Primary and isn’t allowed to talk smack about her (unless its dirty talk during sex lol) and she knows I have the occasional Other fling but doesn’t know any details and she knows she’s above them (but under my Primary) and is allowed to call them whores/sluts/etc, often i like when this girl has a BF/husband because it means she won’t try to become my Primary so I can avoid that possible drama), and finally I have Other girls who are just randoms that I hook up with once or twice or pretty infrequently etc. Usually these are bar ONS types. These girls can be any level of drama, I don’t care, as long as they’re hot and a decent lay. They know about my Primary and that she’s top priority but they don’t know about my Secondary because it doesn’t matter, they know I have Other girls and that they’re part of that Other girls and would assume my Secondary is an Other…basically the bottom of the pile sees my setup as a two tier system (Primary and Other) instead of three tier (Primary, Secondary, Other).

        The end result of this setup is that my Primary gets my full attention, I’ll cancel on my Secondary/Others if she needs me or if we have plans or whatever so my Primary gets the full boyfriend experience she wants. My Secondary gets to fuck me every week or so (seeing her more than once a week = oxytocin makes her start getting clingy and want Primary position especially if she’s single), so if sex with my Primary gets boring or if my Primary holds out on sex as a punishment for something, that’s fine because I can bang my Secondary…so I keep the ability to Soft Next punish unacceptable behavior from my Primary which is a power monogamous guys give up by promising monogamy. My Secondary is forced to respect my Primary or GTFO so I don’t get drama between the two of them or if I cancel on her for my Primary, because I was honest and up front and she knows her place in the chain and she gets her ego fed because she knows she’s above all the Other girls which gives her the validation she needs (“I’m not queen bee but I’m better than all those bitches”). And on top of all that I can go hunt random poon when I’m out on the weekends with my buddies, guilt-free, and I don’t have to scurry around and hide shit and make sure there aren’t any bobbypins on my floor or anything. I don’t have a massive sex drive so I only need a couple lays a week minimum to be satisfied, so between my Primary and Secondary I usually have that filled no problem and Others tend to just happen if I come across a chick I have awesome chemistry with or a chick who has a certain look/style I want to bang, etc.

        I’ve had this setup a few times over the years and it’s the one that I’m the happiest day-to-day in lol it’s tricky to manage at first, though ultimately it’s not that time consuming: 1-3 nights/days a week with my Primary, a booty call from my Secondary once a week, and picking up poon for a Same Night Lay on the weekends…I don’t spend ANY time dating/courting my Secondary or Others (aside from some txting). Secondary knows meeting up is purely to get our fuck on then leave, and Others either put out that night or come over for a booty call or I bail…if I meet a nice Other who needs 2 or 3 dates to warm up and put out and is looking for a boyfriend etc, eff it, I throw a hail mary and try to escalate fast/hard and if she doesn’t go for it I cut my losses and bail, not worth my time when I have a solid Primary and Secondary (if I’m single that’s different). Also there are strict rules involved for myself, and the roles have to be defined solid (ie – if I’m out with my Secondary and my Primary shows up, both my Primary and Secondary know that I’ll ditch my Secondary to hang with my Primary and if Secondary has a problem with that, she gets a Soft Next and if she keeps having a problem with it she gets a Hard Next and reduced to Other status and I move an Other into Secondary status).

        For guys who think this arrangement is impossible or a fluke, you’d be surprised how accepting girls are of their role as long as it’s clearly defined and you are congruent about it. It’s when you get wishy-washy and Secondary finds out you cancelled on her for an Other or you spend Valentine’s Day with your Secondary instead of your Primary etc where shit hits the fan.

        Like the Joker says: “Nobody panics when everything goes according to plan…even if the plan is horrifying.”

        I learned a lot of this setup from Hugh Hefner’s reality show lol. I was as surprised as anyone the first time I arranged it and the girls were all fine with it despite all logic saying they shouldn’t be. I remember feeling like “there doesn’t seem to be ANY downside to this, wtf?? I’ve found a cheat code!!” This isn’t just on submissive bar sluts either lol. You have to try it and experience it to understand all the dynamics that make it work. Most guys won’t though, and I’m aware of that. I’m posting it mostly for documentation for future guys who are close to figuring this out and are Googling for help and examples of it since as more men wake up to how much of a scam Marriage is, guys will start looking for alternative relationship arrangements lol


        • Dr. Zoidberg
          on January 9, 2013 at 8:14 pm
          Original Link

          You have a stable. That’s bloody brilliant. So many questions.

          How and when do you let the primary know this? It seems like you would have to show you were worth keeping before a lady would decide to stick with this arrangement.

          Do you worry about disease? A major benefit of a monogamous relationship is condomless, on the pill sex.

          Do you ever have free time? Seeing my one girl on the weekends is hard enough if I want any time to myself. I’m not doubting your method, but you must clearly be an extrovert who doesn’t need time alone to recharge.

          Please fill me. I quite enjoy your posts.


          • YaReally
            on January 9, 2013 at 9:24 pm
            Original Link

            “So many questions.”

            Fire away!

            “How and when do you let the primary know this?”

            That’s the kicker lol She has to know from the start.

            You can always go forward in a relationship, so you can go from seeing a bunch of girls, to just one or two girls, to monogamy, and not only is that progress to her but it makes her feel great like she’s won you over.

            But you can’t go the other way, from monogamy to seeing multiple girls, because then she reads it as “there’s something wrong with our relationship, I don’t satisfy him anymore, so now he’s branching out” and you’re in for drama city.

            So from the start she has to know that you’re not a monogamy fan, that you like variety, that being forced into monogamy makes you feel trapped in a cage and makes you resent the girl trapping you, and that you can’t promise monogamy…but you DO care about her and like her more than other girls, and you may go play around (safely) to scratch that itch for variety, but those girls are nothing compared to her and they’re meaningless and she’s always going to be your top priority over them.

            You have to screen for girls that are alright with this Primary role, some of them are 100% adamant against it but you’d be surprised how many are alright with it if you’re high value to them. They’d rather have you 90% of the time than not have you at all. And like I say, their biggest fear is that you’ll fuck some bar slut and fall in love with that one and ditch her…so you have to do a lot of reassuring that those girls are meaningless to you and that she always comes first and let her know you tell those girls you’re taken and if they have a problem with it they can fuck off etc.

            A lot of girls will say they aren’t okay with it, but it’s only because they expect the worst…like they think it’s going to be awful, and then when you date them for a few months and they feel 100% like they have a legit boyfriend, they start to realize “okay, what he does in his spare time really doesn’t affect us” and they’re willing to give it a shot…though down the road they can change their mind as they get closer to the marriage/kids timer counting down.

            For the Secondary and Others role, generally the Secondary is an Other who’s fun, good in bed, and relatively drama free, so you basically upgrade an Other. But you can tell them right from the start that you have a girlfriend but have an open relationship and she knows you play around on the side etc. and, as long as you’re high-value, none of those girls give a shit about her and will still fuck you lol You just make sure not to see them too frequently so they don’t fall in love or think you’re falling in love. Like I say, you have to be strict about keeping everyone in their place.

            “It seems like you would have to show you were worth keeping before a lady would decide to stick with this arrangement.”

            Yup. Basically be an awesome guy who keeps her attracted. When you’re honest from the start that you play around, if she gets involved with you then she’s okay with that (and even attracted to it) on some level…VS taking a super traditional monogamy girl with really strict religious morals who would never date a guy who sees multiple girls to begin with. Essentially her dating you knowing you’re a player is her consenting to this kind of setup.

            So from there you simply start being less and less blatant about playing around as you spend more time with her so that eventually you’re seeing her as much and in the same way a boyfriend would, and the other girls have faded to the background and you’re much more discreet about it. If she asks, you be honest, but reassure her that she’s your number one and change the subject ASAP.

            A lot of guys’ problem is they date a girl while secretly seeing girls on the side, so that girl thinks they’re monogamous, and then they go “This girl is great but I’m bored, how do I convince her to let me play around?” and it’s like well, you kind of can’t, because you lied to her and hid who you really are to dupe her in, instead of screening for a girl who’s just as cool a chick but knows who you really are (a guy who plays the field).

            “Do you worry about disease? A major benefit of a monogamous relationship is condomless, on the pill sex.”

            Nah, I’m safe with my randoms and get tested every few months. And I don’t do condomless sex even with my Primary…honestly I just don’t trust women these days to take the pill properly, especially if they’re 25+. I have too much to do to life/career-wise to get trapped with a kid.

            Imagine your girl tells you tomorrow that she’s pregnant and keeping it. How would you feel hearing that? That shit is too scary to me to go condomless lol

            “Do you ever have free time? Seeing my one girl on the weekends is hard enough if I want any time to myself.”

            Ya, lots. Most normal monogamy guys see their girl almost daily or live together. I don’t live with mine but I like my free time so for me seeing her falls between 1-3 times a week. If I’m bored or she’s feeling neglected/insecure about her position, I’ll crash for a couple nights and have a date night all in one week. But if we’re doing alright or I have work to do, or just need some time to myself, I’ll just see her once every week or so.

            Personally for me once a week is enough lol but I have to juggle it a bit depending on how she feels because I’m running an intricate system here. If I made my Primary and Secondary both Others so all I had were Others, I’d see her once every few weeks or whenever was convenient…but because I’m specifically choosing to maintain a “girlfriend” relationship with her, while also keeping the rest of my stable, I have a little more work to do to make sure it doesn’t explode in my face.

            In terms of time consumption, the Primary girl is your main one and you see her as often as you’d see a normal monogamy girlfriend…say once a week most of the time (I use Sundays or a Weeknight). Your Secondary is literally just a fuck. So when you arrange something with her, say every 2 weeks, all you’re spending on her is like she comes over, you guys go straight to the bedroom, fuck, and she leaves as soon as you’re both finished…so that can be over in like half an hour, though I like to spend a whole evening with them. They don’t stay overnight though, that’s blurring the Primary/Secondary line which leads to trouble.

            The Others you just fuck when you’re out with friends at the bar hitting on girls, so unless you had epic “me time” plans for 2am on a Saturday, it’s not really any inconvenience. Those ones you kick out as soon as you’re done or early the next morning. And really for me, if my Primary and Secondary are both putting out and I have a solid kinky Secondary where we have crazy wild sex, I don’t really care about hunting down Others very often…I’ll go out to keep the skills sharp but actually picking up becomes less frequent because I already have 2 awesome chicks keeping me satisfied so if the Other is in any way difficult or annoying I’m just like “eh, fuck it then” and move on lol

            The main time-consumer is actually the txting lol The Others each need a handful of txt game to prime them for sex on the first meet-up. The Secondary tends to need a few txts a week just to keep a connection going and not feel like a total slut you only like because she has a pussy. The Primary needs daily txts full of gay kisses and “sweet dreams babe!” shit. I don’t talk on the phone with any of them, except my Primary if we haven’t seen eachother in a week or so and she wants to chat.

            Now this YaReally Trifecta system (lol) is the ideal, but I don’t have it 24/7. The Primary spot is hard to fill and often I don’t even want a Primary…it’s just for when I meet a chick who’s worth keeping around. My current Primary I’ve been seeing for about 2.5 years. Also the Secondary spot comes and goes depending on the girl. Sometimes the Secondary girl will stop seeing me to focus on her own relationship, or she’ll meet a guy and boyfriend up, or get attached to me and I’ll have to ditch her, or she’ll cause too much drama and I have to ditch her, etc. Or sometimes I’ll meet another Other who’s awesome in a different way from my Secondary and I can end up with two Secondaries, at which point I pretty much don’t have the time/energy for Others lol, but that can get complicated fast since the original Secondary will start to notice that she’s got competition. Realistically this problem doesn’t happen very often.

            Like right now I lost my Secondary, so I have a Primary and Others. There are a couple Others that would LOVE to be my Secondary, but I don’t make a girl my Secondary just for the hell/convenience of it…the two that would like to be in that role just aren’t the right type to me (good lays, but not personalities or personal lives that I want to get mixed up in). So over the winter here I’m picking up Others and keeping an eye out for any that impress me enough to be my Secondary.

            But this is the ideal system to me, when it’s fully functioning. It’s the setup where my Primary is txting me telling me she loves me and wishing me good-night, as my Secondary leaves after an epic fuck with scratch-marks down my back, and my buddy is txting me asking when I’m coming over the pre-drink on Friday before we go out to find some Others, and I lay on my bed going “Fuck I love my life. :)



Nick
on January 8, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Original Link

Seems like the best solution to declining intimacy/attraction to a particular woman is intimacy with and attraction to other women. Every man has to choose what they want from women, but my experience so far is that no one woman is worth a tremendous amount of effort and in fact this could be counterproductive. If you’re in a position where you need to “rescue” a relationship, it’s probably too late. If I were married or had kids with a woman I’d have greater urgency, but it seems like the more you invest the more likely you’re to encounter a decline in attraction/intimacy. As I recall one of Rollo’s Iron Rules is that the person with the most power in a relationship is the one who needs the other least.


  • pantyfx
    on January 8, 2013 at 4:58 pm
    Original Link

    If you continue to look at stuff like she does which is trying to prove she is better than the bitches around her it becomes easy to see most of the time the best course of action is to just find a girl she knows she can’t become, flirt with her and see the reaction. Of course use with the needed tact to retain frame and character.

    Every girl I’ve ever wanted to remember I always do the “your lucky, but youve got competition” plan which charms them and their perpetual victimhood into believing their own counterparts are the competition, which allows me to be the selector lol

    Ain’t life grand


    • YaReally
      on January 8, 2013 at 8:45 pm
      Original Link

      “your lucky, but youve got competition”

      This is a good frame/mindset. Much better than “babe you’re the only one for me”



Powerful Nonverbal Openers

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Days of Broken Arrows
on January 7, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Original Link

Thanks for the props. I wanna drop some knowledge about field experience I had with this.

When I was 17 I almost died. When I ended up living (to everyone’s surprise) something weird came over me and I started taking all these strange risks, thinking I didn’t have long, so why not make the most of it? One of the things I would do was just walk up to whatever girl in school (or at the mall) I felt like and just say anything:

“Hey, can I have a french fry or two? I’m starved!”

“Got a quarter for the vending machine.”

“Suzanne! Wait, you’re not Suzanne. Well, can you pretend to be Suzanne for a sec?”

“Hey, so you feel like getting married so I can have tall kids” (said to a freakishly tall but hot female basketball player — worked too).

At a fourth of July celebration I sat down next to the hottest girl and said:
“Hey can I sit on your blanket?” “Um, can I have some of that soda?” When everyone started chuckling after she gave me the soda and asked if I wanted chips I said “Hey, how about $20?” Her response: “Only if you spend it on me.”

Anyway, after you go in, if you don’t want to screw things up, like “immoralgables” mentioned, you have a few choices. Establish yourself then get out ASAP if you know you’re gonna see her again. Or STFU and ask a lot of qu’s — the more she knows about you the more she can rule you out. Or break the convo and pick up in a joking manner a bit later (“…So you’re still not Suzanne, are you?”).

The trick is to treat these engagements as if you really do have only one or two years left to live. All told, I got about two years of natural game out of my near-death experience. You need to have natural bon vivant, though. It also helped I’d read a bio on Keith Moon and tried to live like him for a while.



Marcus
on January 8, 2013 at 4:54 am
Original Link

This is because in nature woman are the choosers. Female mammals show their interest in males, males respond if female is healthy, female let the male chase her, and then the female let the male impregnate her at a chosen place and time.
You see this also in nightclubs. Woman do in fact the initial approach (giving hints, eyecontact…). In social circles woman do the action. We men are not built to be very social. Woman are the connectors and talkers. They LIVE for keeping in touch with social networks.
You can also say it this way: betas choose, alphas are chosen. And since all the hot girls are all attracted to a few alphas these guys have the choice they want. (ie groupies).
This is also: if you talk to girls about “players” they don’t like the guys. Why? Approaching woman is so beta. The approach itself is showing their betaness, the man’s lack of options…, and woman disgust beta!


  • YaReally
    on January 8, 2013 at 11:07 am
    Original Link

    You are an idiot.



Lauren
on January 8, 2013 at 11:58 am
Original Link

Heartiste and other PUAs, you think you’re just helping other guys by offering all this free advice, but it’s here for women to read too. It makes it easier for us to tell if guys are being womanizers ;)

[Heartiste: ...and fall more deeply in love with them.]


  • YaReally
    on January 9, 2013 at 3:54 am
    Original Link

    o noes!!!!!

    The funny part is I can tell a girl exactly what I’m doing as I’m doing it and she’ll still be into me.

    “Guess what!! Girls wear push-up bras!!”

    “Well then, I’m never getting a boner when I see a chick with tits sticking out again!!”



Powerful Nonverbal Openers

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YaReally
on January 9, 2013 at 4:01 am
Original Link

Late to the party but I like to look at them friendly for a second and then make a scowling “wtf is your problem, bitch???” face and hand motions like I recognize them or saw them do something fucked up or they offended me somehow. She pretty much can’t NOT wonder wtf just happened lol

All you need is for them to emotionally react to you, in a good way or a bad way it doesn’t matter. I like to start in a bad way because then I can tell them I was just fucking with them and change the subject and all the negative anxious tension she felt is relieved, which plays into giving her the “full range of emotions” she wants and a little drama, VS just all good emotions. The full range is important for the really hot ones because they don’t meet many guys who give them the full range, every guy is stepping tippy-toed around her trying not to offend her or make her feel bad or anything so the panic/anxiety of someone recognizing her in a BAD way makes her hamster shit a brick and she HAS to know wtf is going on.



Stop Looking At Girls From Across The Room

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Dave
on January 4, 2013 at 3:29 pm
Original Link

Offtopic :
My fiance and I are getting married soon, and she wants to wait until we are married before we have sex. I am not a virgin nor have I ever had sex with a virgin. My fiance however is a virgin. What should I expect when it happens?


  • ianironwood
    on January 4, 2013 at 3:44 pm
    Original Link

    An utter trainwreck of a marriage.

    Seriously, she wants to get married and she hasn’t even taken the training wheels off? You’re buying a pig in a poke. This is a great way for her to sucker you in to the great sexless beta marriage. It goes like this:

    You have a decent honeymoon, because she really is kind of excited about having sex . . . until she has it. If she’s intact, it’s going to hurt. Even if she’s not, it’s going to hurt. It certainly won’t be the tempest in her loins she’s been expecting, and while she’ll do all sorts of stuff with you — it’s your honeymoon after all! — once you get home, her enthusiasm will slowly but inevitably wane. She’ll reject you softly at first, then get annoyed by how “pushy” you are. In response you’ll taper off your initiations. Quality and quantity will fall off rapidly. You will both be unsatisfied and eventually wonder what’s wrong with your relationship.

    Here’s my advice: run, don’t walk, to get a copy of Athol Kay’s Married Man Sex Life before you even put a deposit on a tux. Memorize it. Reconsider your relationship in a Red Pill context and question whether it wouldn’t be a good idea to renegotiate before you sign anything. Insist that she give up some nookie as a symbol of her commitment — or at least get assurances to your satisfaction that her legs won’t jam closed the moment she’s over the threshold. Virgins-until-marriage are dangerous things, and you are risking a lifetime of your future happiness if you proceed without educating yourself.

    Trust the Old Married Guys. We know what the hell we’re talking about.

    Outstanding post. If you didn’t get close enough to smell her and count her eyelashes, it’s not an approach. If you’re too much of a dumb-ass to go in without a stack of prepared openers, then at least ask her if she has a sister who’s single. If you can’t build something out of that, you don’t deserve to get laid.


    • YaReally
      on January 4, 2013 at 6:11 pm
      Original Link

      “An utter trainwreck of a marriage.”

      This.

      Also, down the road when you let your guard down for a minute, she’ll fuck a guy like me that she meets on a girls’ night out or in the grocery store or wherever, because she’ll be attracted and say “well I’ve only ever been with one man…I wonder what sex with other men is like, is it better? Worse? What does another penis look like?”

      And her grrrlfriends will encourage her to explore her sexuality because Eat Pray Love and all that, and she’ll have a couple slutty friends who insist she tries sucking a new dick when she’s feeling vulnerable about your guys’ relationship at some point in your marriage, because the slutty girls will feel less slutty and judged if their virgin friend has sucked a few cocks herself.

      Don’t legally tie yourself and your finances to her. This warning is from experience as the guy who’s seduced these girls. Having only been with one cock is the biggest “rationalize cheating on my man” card ever…whether she uses it because she’s mad at you or not in love with you anymore, or because she’s in love with you but just legitimately curious and placed in an opportune situation.


      • Lucky White Male
        on January 4, 2013 at 8:48 pm
        Original Link

        Ya says: “Having only been with one cock is the biggest “rationalize cheating on my man” card ever…”

        Interesting – a young girl I’m working right now fits this description.

        We are acquaintances. She regularly throws into our conversation the fact that she “has a boyfriend.” But I’m NOT interpreting it as LJBF – here’s why:

        She’s 21, he is the only guy she’s ever dated (since she was 18). She is a small-town girl with a limited world (she loves to hear my travel stories – but as to her, she’s never really travelled anywhere, except to South Beach once , but thought it was too “filthy” lol. )

        So she brings up “my boyfriend did this and that:”, yet :

        1. She gives me compliments, stuff like “You know, you have really nice hair:”

        2. She qualifies herself. I also notice after a few minutes of talking to her, she adjusts her speech to sound more sophisticated, or educated, somehow to keep pace with me. Tyler said in “Blueprint” this is a sure sign the girl is acting emotionally in response to you (you have higher value in her mind)

        3. She kinos ME – hands on arm and shoulder. Keep in mind we interact in public situation and I have a ring on my finger.

        4. She loves callback humor and the “little roles” I put her into – and actually brings it up herself. Like “your little servant is here again” and she laughs like she’s into it. This tells me she gets off on dominance, and probably wants more

        5. Her frame is breaking with me consistently every time – after about 10 min or so of chit-chat she gets this almost catatonic look on her face, deep staring at me for a few seconds

        Krauser calls this a “hypnotic scanning moment.” the girl locks eyes and looks catatonic – often on a Day 2, but can happen at any time – the girl is scanning the man for Identity, he claims and the man (if he is in the same trance) scanning the girl for Genetic Fit.

        So a few seconds later she goes into “You know that Joe, my boyfriend… yada yada” – almost like she is unconsciously, desperately trying to keep herself from telling herself “don’t go there” with me, and she reflexively brings up the boyfriend. So this is why I’m not interpreting it as LJBF – instead the opposite

        Be interested in hearing how to work this “one boyfriend type”. I was kind of surprised for you to say this type of girl is the KING of cheaters.. lol


        • YaReally
          on January 6, 2013 at 5:01 pm
          Original Link

          @Lucky

          Your read of the situ and why she brings up her BF is dead on.

          If you want to bang her, all you have to do is remove the thing that’s triggering her ASD, which is the guilt of cheating on her BF, a guilt that’s created by a fear of judgement. If you remove her fear of judgement, you remove the guilt, which stops triggering the ASD.

          The simplest way people remove the fear of judgement is to get drunk lol sober you put on a front around your co-workers, till the Xmas office party where you’re hammered and wearing a lampshade on your head because in that moment your fear of judgement is gone/impaired.

          Another way to remove judgement is thru comfort/rapport. When someone is in or has been in the same situation as you and understands your feelings and demonstrates that they’ve made the same choices/mistakes/etc too, you don’t feel like you’ll be judged because they’ve been there themselves. I actually found that having a primary girlfriend makes it easier to get girls to cheat on their BFs because they know I won’t judge them for it since I’m doing it too.

          Another way is to absolve them of responsibility for what happens either by fostering the idea that “it just happened” (it was our intense chemistry, we were so drunk, it was fate, etc) or take the blame for it yourself (sorry I couldn’t help myself you’re irresistible, sorry I was so forward but I can’t help it). If its not her choice/fault, she can’t be judged.

          Now if you can take all these methods I just described and combine them (have a few drinks, talk about infidelity in a non-judge mental way like animal instincts blah society is too reserved about sex blah blame fate and chemistry, etc), you have a pretty reliable formula for laying that girl. :)

          …of course you shouldn’t shit where you eat. :P


          • YaReally
            on January 7, 2013 at 1:33 am
            Original Link

            @Lucky

            No prob. I escalate really fast on taken girls compared to a lot of guys so I have to deal with this kind of ASD a lot. It’s not a big deal when you understand what’s triggering it. Removing that trigger varies from girl to girl (she may be scared of her bf being violent if she’s caught, she may fear her peer’s judgement more than her own, etc) so you have to calibrate to her but yours sounds like an easy diffuse.

            Just remember 1) isolate her, take her somewhere away from “the group”. She needs to feel like it’ll be a secret between you two and she can’t do anything when you’re at the office Xmas party with Bob from accounting at the table beside you. Or at a bar where her friend might show up or works there. But if you and her are at some little out of the way bar where she doesn’t know anyone, you’re golden.

            Also remember that the faster you escalate, the more Buyer’s Remorse you’re going to get if you don’t do your aftercare and make her feel GOOD about what just happened. Like while cuddled up after, continue to relieve the responsibility/guilt (“I can’t believe we did that” vs “I can’t believe you did that”, “wow we were so drunk” (ie – it was out of your guys’ control) etc) but also show some relief/joy that it happened (“but I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I saw you…our chemistry has always been crazy (kiss)”).

            Even the wording like “I can’t believe we did that” vs “we shouldn’t have done that” can change the effect/result dramatically. The former wording makes no guilt the latter makes guilt. A lot of guys fuck this part up and the girl has regrets and it’s awkward after or they risk her crying rape out of regret or the girl feels so bad she confesses to her guy and he kicks your ass or she doesnt come back for more etc etc.

            Off the top of my head I can’t think of a single taken girl who’s regretted fooling around with me, because I alllllways leave them with some good emotions and take away the guilt. So to them it was a crazy adventure that “just happened” and not her consciously deciding to cheat. I actually get a lot of repeat business from these girls because they know if they go to another guy he might be more judgemental and make them feel bad. But like I say, I create the feeling that I’m just a sexual adventureland for them where there are no consequences and no bad feelings and no judgement and I’m not a part of their “real” life or world and I don’t try to be, and so to them I’m a safe escape.

            This is part of the “leave them better than you found them” motto of PUAs. Leaving her feeling guilty and used is leaving her worse…leaving her feeling good about what happened and with exciting sexy memories and a feeling of adventure etc is leaving her better.


          • YaReally
            on January 7, 2013 at 1:43 am
            Original Link

            *”her peer’s judgement rather than her own boyfriend’s reaction”

            Sorry, typo city up there and a hanging 1) lol on my phone.

            Just wanted to add on the isolation note, I once had a girl on a Day 2 and I used to take them all to the same little shithole basement bar of a club because it was shadowy and dark and isolated and had big couches so it was perfect for isolating. But I brought this once chick and when we went to get drinks the bartender and her started yapping and I realized she knew him either from outside the bar or she’s a regular at that place and I didn’t realize it. Aside from her knowing this one guy, and it wasn’t even a solid deep knowing it was just a small-talk “oh hey how you been?” thing, like the guy probably wouldn’t have cared at all in the long run…but despite it being a perfect seduction location otherwise, I know how important real isolation is so I told her I got a txt from some friends showing up that I don’t want to hang with tonight so lets hit another place after this drink. I took her across the street to another bar and was able to escalate no problem to the lay.

            COULD I have done it in that first bar? Maybe. But I could tell right away that when we went back to the couches, even tho she couldn’t see him because her back was to him, she was conscious that he was working behind us and could see us plain as day (couches were right in front of his bar). Her body language got more frigid/reserved etc. compared to the 2nd bar where we were groping eachother after a couple drinks.



Stop Looking At Girls From Across The Room

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Scray
on January 6, 2013 at 6:53 am
Original Link

Phew….Field Report time.

I’m still stuck at this place of ‘I feel like they fucking hate me.’ I’ve learned, over the years, to trust my gut read of situations. So, it’s likely true that indeed, these chicks hate me ;D

Friday:

Nothing much going on, so we decide to go to someone’s birthday party at a pub. We go there, and the pub is packed. I notice immediately that this would be a great place to sarge.

Warm Approach 1:
Plain girls — two of them, one slightly better looking than the other (tall, gangly, nerdy) one, but I’m trying to get warm. So I approach, I kind of know one of them. I start by asking about our one thing in common — our grad program. She graduated already and is working in the field, so I just open up the conversation. I let her talk for a little bit before I interrupt and point out her jacket.

“That’s a really cool jacket. With the scarf it kind of looks like something a western gunfighter would wear.”

Clearly I’m not in good form tonight. She blinks a few times, but offers a tepid smile, then nods — but really, nothing. I try to steer the conversation in a few different, non-work/school directions, but I get shut down pretty fast.

Then, her little black friend comes up (now there’s three). Now, seriously, this girl looks like a frog. But cool, I think, ‘I’ll be nice and fun.’ So I say ‘hey, do you go to grad school with us?’ She glances to me with a stone face, then gives a slow nod, like she’s looking at a homeless man. I could give a shit — she looks like a goddamned toad — so I introduce myself, and she gives her name in return — again, in the flattest way possible.

Then, almost immediately, her and the original target start having inside conversations and stop paying attention to whatever I say. The tall, lanky one is too far away to talk with, so I’m just kind of left there. I attempt to interject with ‘man, must be some conversation, are you guys fighting?’ Then, the original target looks at me and is like ‘we’re talking about her wedding.’ And I blink, “Oh yeah? Which one…who’d she get married to?” Then she responds, in an almost shrill tone “Her fiance.” I make a mistake “Since he’s her husband now, and we’re talking about him in the present, do we say she married her husband, or is it still fiance?” She repeats herself. Mentally, I tell myself that I hate the sexual marketplace, it’s bullshit, yadda yadda yadda. I accept defeat soon enough and just eject.

I talk with a few other friends for awhile, internally pissed off that even froggies act like they’re better than me. But, I just deal with it.

As I’m talking with my friends, this one girl walks by. So, background info — on NYE I got blackout drunk, so the hours of 7-12 are a blank to me. Apparently during those hours, I drunk-texted/dialed her. So, when she sees me she’s like ‘hey did you text me? I couldn’t tell what you were texting!” And I’m not quite out of my funk, so I’m like “oh, I was just texting my undying love for you. It’s cool.” She nods, kinda grinning “Oh. Cool!”

Internally I melt down, so when a friend asks if I want to go play some pool across the street, I accept. I play a game. During the game, I tell myself to get my ass back to the crowded pub and DO. SOMETHING. Just anything. I pump myself up — the plan’s simple, just to go there and tell three girls that I love them. Ha. That’s where I was.

So, when I finally lose at pool and my other friend steps in to play, I leave them behind and set out on that mission.

Approach anxiety totally killed me, and I cruised the bar for like ten minutes like a tool doing nothing. Then, I’m making way through a big crowd, and I bump into this one girl. She turns, and I’m like, ‘wow, I just fell in love with you. You believe in love at first sight — of course you do.’ The girl blinks, then she reaches out and grabs the ropes on my jacket (they tighten the hood), then neatly ties them. Before I can respond, the drunktext girl from before finds me, turning me around. FYI drunktext is significantly taller than me. She’s like “hey, you’re walking around here — are you lost? You look sort of confused, I’m concerned.” I blink a few times, then shake my head with a smile. “Plus, you’re like ‘yay high, so…’” Have nothing to respond with, I just stand there and blink. Then she laughs, tapping me on the shoulder, and says she’s just kidding. I just nod slowly and say nothing — I dunno, I didn’t have it in me. After a pause “all right, so yeah, see you later.” Then I turn around and leave.

I run into another group of people, and a girl in that group says ‘hey, that’s a nice sweater,’ and I respond with ‘thanks, I really love you.’ But I don’t stop, I just keep moving through the crowd. And then that was it for Friday. Turrible.

Saturday:

A friend asks what i’m doing, and I say that after I’m done hanging out with everyone, I’m headed back down to that same pub to talk to girls. He’s like ‘alone?’ And I was like ‘yeah.’ He’s like ‘well….why not just go with a group, then leave them for awhile to talk to girls at odd intervals.’ We have a back and forth about this — anyway, his conclusion is that he thinks sarging alone is gay and a last resort for when you don’t have a group. He’s like ‘dude, you have friends — use them. That way you have somewhere to go back to after each group of people you talk to.’

Now, I have another friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend who is all about going out and just talking to girls. Unlike a lot of the other people I know, he’s not particularly good-looking, is overweight (moreso than me — which is saying something, because my bodyfat is like 22 percent trololololol). So he’s like ‘yeah, groups can become crutches. I like to go out with like, one…maaaaybe two…guys, split up, wing when we can, and just spend two or three hours out. If you’re looking to get good, you need to get out there like four nights a week for awhile.’

So, me and him hit the pub. We see a group of people we know — set of one guy, three girls. We move in — I notice something different about the way he interacts versus how I interact. Unfortunately, this interaction I can’t remember as well, but in general, it was/is hard for me to get anyone’s attention/enthusiasm. Whereas, he got into several sustained, fun interactions. It’s hard for me to figure out what I’m doing wrong, I’m standing up straight, trying to point my feet away, trying to speak from my diaphragm, and trying to maintain an open posture. I also notice that I don’t have that many interesting things to say, beyond stupid shit like ‘that’s an interesting scarf/jacket….it’s like a [insert random observation]”

Next interaction, we go upstairs.
Set 1:
Three girls, HB 7, a 6, and like…a 4.5-5. I try to approach at an angle, feet pointing away, and I say

“hey, can I ask you guys a question?”

6 whips out a phone after the FIRST word I utter and stares at it, along with the 7 (guessing there’s some sort of text drama brewing). Only the uggo sort of responds with

‘meh, no, that’s weird…but it is -this- area of town so….’

The uggo actually helps me by asking her friends whether I look like a drug dealer. The 6 can’t be bothered, because she’s on her phone, so I just say

“Oh man, what’s going on there, eh?”

Then the uggo is like

“Oh, they’re fighting.”
I widen my eyes

‘what?”

The 7 glances up, having not heard all of what I said, but she’s like

“Yes, it’s a -lover’s- quarrel.”

I pick up the vibe that she’s trying to shoo me away, but I respond with

“Between YOU two?”

Indicating the 7 and 6. The 6 sort of rolls her eyes and is like

“Uh. Yeah.”

I respond “So, you guys are lesbians then?”

The 7 goes with it — but man, is it grudging.

“So how often do you guys just spontaneously make out?”

The 7 is like “We don’t really do that in public.”

And I’m like “Ohhhh…….who calls the shots? It’s seems like this one on the phone is more the badass, and you’re the prim proper one in the relationship. You’ve got the hoop earrings and the feathered hair.”

She nods, and looks up to ask what I said about her hair — but the 6 is just. not. having. it. After another 20 seconds, everyone is just looking at the phone. Another defeat, and I move on.

Set 2:

Three more plain looking girls — not totally cold, because they’re people who are friends of friends. The one I address is like a 4, the one on my left is like a 6, the one on my right is like a 5, on her phone. So, anyway, I walk up

“Hey, quick question before I get back to this group behind me…do I look like a drug dealer?”

The 4 takes time with the question, and then, she asks about what’s on my neck. I’d forgotten to take off my bluetooth before going into the club. So she asks what it is.

“It’s a time machine.”

She blinks.

“What?”

“Yeah. I’m from the future.”

I remembered that line from before, so I figured I’d give it another try tonight. She laughs, and I continue.

“Yeah, I actually know what’s going to happen before it happens. For example, these two, on the left and right, are going to get into a huge ass fight in a few minutes.”

The 6 turns to look at me, “really?”

“Yeah…you guys are going to have words. When the time comes, just know that -she- stole -it-.”

I say, indicating the 5. So, I riff for a few more seconds, then the 5 chimes in with.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever shut the fuck up.”

Again, internally I’m outraged that this is just how the world works. That people can just be complete assholes with impunity. If I would have retaliated in kind, I’m sure several whiteknights would have ridden to the rescue. But, I know I can’t just call her a stupid bitch, so I just settle with a laugh (prooooobably not that congruent sounding though)

“See, that’s the kind of hostility I’m talking about…she’s gonna beat the shit out of you.”

At this point the set pretty much falls apart — the 6 kinda shrugs, the 4, bless her heart and limited options, tries to stay with me. But at this point, I ain’t staying around for a goddamned 4, so I dip back into the larger group.

So, interesting thing to note with that 5, when she retreated to another larger group of people and I retreated to my group of people…I saw her look at me several times. I mean, I’m pretty sure she was looking at me at least. In my mind I’m like ‘how can someone -hate- me so fast lol?”

Anyway, later I chat up a guy who’s also on the outer orbit of this social circle. The 5 is standing to my left, back turned, and so I try to make my way past her to another people, and he’s like

“naaah man, just grind up on it, yeaaaah…”

And I laugh as I pass and I’m like

“naaah dog, I can’t spill this drink.”

She turns around to see me there again, then the guy and me and her get into a conversation. I forget exactly what he said, but her response was

“Yeah, I’m going to break his fucking nose.”

At this point, I’m like ‘fuck this bitch, she’s a cunt.’ So I just smirk again with a shrug

“So if you were going to do it, how would you do it?”

And she says something, but I can’t hear her.

“What? Pegasus, unicorns? Nah those things don’t exist, you’re bad at this game!”

Then I turn and start talking to another group composed of the 4 from earlier, a new girl who’s like a 4.5, a drunk uggo 3. I talk to them for a few minutes, the drunk uggo lets me know she has a boyfriend — no prompting. (Now I’m pissed off because I’m like ‘jesus fucking christ kill me now if these 3′s and 4′s are going to start being difficult.’ That’s completely new to me.)

At this point, I turn around again — 5 is still standing there, talking to another friend of mine, a fat 4 (who is really nice and social and bought me a drink earlier……..and also seems to know goddamned everyone) and the fat 4 asks me how I’m doing, and I’m like ‘sheeeit, I’m great, I’m about to domestic violenced up in this motherfucker.’

The 5 waves a hand at me and is like ‘he’s fucking drunk, whatever,’ and walks away. I wasn’t drunk at all, in any way. Like, I didn’t even finish the drink fat 4 bought me.

Sets 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8:

Me and my friend change venues. I’m kinda bummed and he’s like ‘nah, fuck that. It’s going take a long time to get good. Those sets are over.’ We get to the new venue, and he takes up a spot, leaning on the bar — he’s like ‘this is a great spot, lots of bitches have to walk by. Here’s where we’ll ply our trade.’ So, he’d just point out girls and I’d go open them.

I start noticing a pattern. Most of these sets went like this: ‘Can I ask you a question, do I look like a drug dealer?’ Blah blah blah, then I make some lame-assed observation. Never generate attraction, it’s awkward, I’m awkward, shit peters out, I leave.

Now, one set went okay I guess. Set 7. Two girls walking by, a 6 and a 7. The 6 slows down and actually takes time to answer the question, whereas the 7 is just on the way out.

6: “A drug dealer…what? Uhhh noooo…”

7 (in a hurry/impatient): Oh yeah, you look like a drug dealer, like brooklyn, yeaaah.

Me (to the 6): “Yeah, someone actually asked me for weed.”
I notice that she’s completely facing me with a grin.

The 7 makes to leave
Me: “So is she (the 7) the badass of the two of you? She’s got the leather jacket, she looks pretty hardcore.”
6: “hahhaah well tonight she is, but sometimes I wear the leather jacket y’know…”
The 7 is trying to wrap things up, then my friend walks in, jabbing an index finger at the 7.
Friend: You ride motorcycles? Like them crotch rockets, eh leather jacket?!”
Both of them turn to look at him, answering at the same time…something like ‘yesyes/oh yeah!’
Friend: Yeah, really awesome, like Judas Priest and shit.
7: Ha, but they’re gay!
Me: And tough. Gay and tough.

This continues for a few more seconds, and then the 6 is like ‘you guys are really funny!’ but 6 and 7 are leaving.

My friend seems to be glancing around the room before they’ve even left.

I’m pretty much done with the night — it’s been three and a half hours. I need a break. My friend is like ‘hey, watch your feet. I noticed that a lot of the time your feet were pointing at them.” Now, I’ve been trying to have my feet pointing away, but maybe I’m still doing it a lot.

I watch my friend get some girl’s number. I actually watch her go from -cold- to lukewarm the longer he talked to her. I mean, the logistics of the whole situation were terrible for him, but whatevs.

Anyways, that’s what I did in my double ‘wannabePUA’ life this weekend.
I’m going to try to get out there every Weds, Thurs, Friday, Sat. Probably going to get out there late late on Friday/Sat, cause on Saturday I didn’t even go out until 11:30.

So yeah…it sucks still. Me coming up with decent shit to say seems to be very very inconsistent.

My friend says I just need to, after getting the feet thing down, just polish an opener, false time constraint, transition, and DHV story. So, this upcoming week, I hope to have all of that shit down, rather than just an opener.


  • YaReally
    on January 9, 2013 at 8:20 pm
    Original Link

    Alright, let’s take this mofo down lol sorry for the delay. On a side note, when I first got into pickup I had a 9-5 job that I was pretty adept at and didn’t have overtime, so my weekly routine would basically be Sunday – Wednesday read pickup stuff (Field Reports by other PUAs, PUA archives (Fast Seduction died but you can find The Tyler Digest online still at least), Mystery Method, etc.) and then Thurs-Sat I would go out and try to apply a few of the concepts I read about. I’d write my Field Reports either right when I got home (while everything was fresh) or the next day or on Sunday.

    This setup would give me the first half of the week to replay the weekend in my head and get advice and do research etc. on the situations I ran into, and usually by Thursday I’d have some new things to take out into the field and try applying. Rinse and repeat.

    I did get into going out like 4-6 nights a week down the road, but that was after I had a solid understanding of the basics and just needed more time applying them…at the start I was just consuming mass amounts of information. I was reading this stuff on my phone in the shitter at work lol That’s why now I have an encyclopaedia of pickup information in my head.

    Also I wasn’t slaying pussy left and right, I had a ton of nights like the Friday you describe here. Hell, I would’ve WISHED for a night like your Friday…you actually TALKED to people. I shit you not, probably half the nights I went out I was going out solo and would spend like 9pm-2am wandering around just trying to work up the balls to do a SINGLE approach, and probably half of THOSE nights I wouldn’t even manage to open that one set and I would go home kicking myself feeling like a loser.

    So don’t feel bad. Some guys might ask me “Why the fuck did you do that? That’s crazy, think of all the time and energy you invested, you could’ve climbed a mountain or something manly instead and probably gotten laid” and ya, that’s probably true. But 1) I was drawn to the chess-game aspect of consciously gaining social dominance and found it fascinating that this was something I could become better at so any tiny little successes I had would keep me sucked in chasing the next little success, and 2) I banged a chick in the ass this weekend and almost 3-somed her with her chick-friend lol That time and energy was all worth it, years later. :)

    “I’ve learned, over the years, to trust my gut read of situations.”

    You’re good at reading the vibe, it comes through in your posts, so keep trusting that. It’s a skill that a lot of the really socially inept type guys don’t have or have to develop, so you’re starting with an advantage over them at least.

    “So, it’s likely true that indeed, these chicks hate me ;D”

    lol that won’t go away for a loooong time. Just remember, they don’t hate YOU, they hate how you’re presenting yourself to them. If you went up to your best friend and started punching him in the face every time you guys greeted eachother, he would start to hate you too…you’d be the same guy he liked before, except you’d be presenting yourself in a shittier way. Just a little mental frame to keep in mind and make the rejections/snubs easier lol
    “but I’m trying to get warm.”

    Good stuff. Approach anything at first. Warm sets, ugly sets, easy sets, dudes, people on the street, the convenience store guy when you go buy breath mints (you have minty fresh breath when you approach, right? lol you’d be surprised how many guys go up to girls with beer breath lol) etc.

    One of the things I used to do when I was heading out solo or heading to meet up with a buddy, is I’d go a few minutes early and on my way to the bar I would stop random sets on the street (anyone who looked like they weren’t in a shitty angry mood, ideally the happy party type people but anyone neutral is cool too) and ask if they knew where the bar I was heading to was. I knew where it was, obviously, but I’d just pretend it was my first time there and that my friend wants me to come out but SHE (DHV! Social proof!! lol) didn’t give me an address and isn’t responding on her phone. etc. etc. All I’d do is try to get vague directions to the bar (“keep going that way” is fine, I don’t really care about the details) and then ask what they think of the bar (“is it full of drunk chicks who are gonna throw up on my shoe? lol”), and if the vibe is good I’d ask them where they’re heading and which place is better.

    I didn’t even try to number close or anything, I’d just say thanks and if the vibe was decent I’d joke that maybe we’ll stumble into eachother drunk later (if the vibe is bad, that sounds stalkerish lol) and head on my way. Often all that would happen is they’d give me some vague directions and then keep walking, but that’s fine. The whole point was just to warm up. If I did 2 or 3 of those, and then chat with the convenience store guy, etc. by the time I’d hit the bar I’d already have a couple reference experiences of “you won’t die if you talk to strangers” which helps shut the anxiety in your brain down a bit.

    The only thing to remember with these warm-up sets is to pick sets that can escape you lol Like if you ride the bus and you chat up whoever’s beside you, if it goes shitty, you’re both stuck there and it’s awkward and that’ll fuck with your night instead of help it. But if it’s someone you’re passing on the street as they’re walking the opposite way, hey, they can just walk off, no biggie. It’s like Style says, the biggest fear most people have when strangers approach is “How long is this guy going to be here?” That’s why we drop in a False Time Constraint like “Hey, I gotta head to this bar, I’m running late to meet my friend, but I don’t know where it is…Help me out will ya?”, so they know “oh, okay, this person won’t follow me around all night”.

    Sometimes guy-friends will see you chat randoms and be like “dude why are you talking to a fatty, you can get better girls that that man, why do you want to fuck a fatty?” or like “why are you talking to those dudes?? Do you know them? That’s weird man” and you have to just mention “lol it’s all good, I’m just getting talkative, I’ve been staring at a computer screen all day (or whatever your job is).”

    “I let her talk for a little bit before I interrupt and point out her jacket. “That’s a really cool jacket. With the scarf it kind of looks like something a western gunfighter would wear.”"

    This really isn’t bad. You’re just rattling off what’s on your mind, it’s a good thing. The problem is:

    “She blinks a few times, but offers a tepid smile, then nods — but really, nothing.”

    …often people don’t know what to do in an unexpected/unusual situation. :) Believe it or not, a lot of the people you’ll meet out and about are actually a little socially awkward, especially early in the night when they’re sober and they’ve been staring at a computer screen all day too.

    Alexander from RSD talks about making a “Statement of Empathy” at 2:35 in this video:

    I say a lot of pretty “in your face” outlandish shit to people I’ve just met so a lot of time people don’t know how to process what I’m saying/doing. It SEEMS like they’re unimpressed with me, but what’s really going on is they just don’t know how to react because it’s something out of the blue. Everyone knows how to react when someone asks about the grad program, everyone talks about that, that’s easy, you can do that on auto-pilot. But western gunfighter jacket? wtf? Thanks?? This guy is WEIRD…

    Alex talks about using “I know you think I’m crazy lol I just came from blahblah and–” and you kind of normalize the weirdness of the situation by acknowledging it. Thinking on it, I actually have two versions that I use. One is when I KNOW I’m sounding retarded (had a Redbull so I’m wired, or just my game is terrible that night and I just know I sound like an idiot lol) I’ll say “Sorry, I’m drunk and wired on Redbulls and I say inappropriate things, don’t listen to anything I say lol” which usually makes them laugh in relief that I’m aware of how insane I am and then try to resume a normal conversation. But if I know THEY’RE the retarded ones (the hot bitchy girls who are just acting like I’m an idiot because it’s part of their shit-test screening, or the normal girls who are just socially inept at that particular moment), and what I’m saying is gold/normal and there’s no reason for them to be reacting weird to it, I’ll say (with a BIG OL’ CHEEKY GRIN, not in a mean way) “It’s okay, that was a compliment, this is where you say “Thank-you for complimenting my jacket, YaReally, you’re so observant and charming!”. :D You’re not hammered right now, are you? :D Are you going to throw up on my shoe? :D lol”

    I would use the latter on your jacket girl. You really didn’t say anything weird there, she was the one being awkward.

    One of my super short buddies who can take over a room of strangers easily has a bunch of these because he’s so short (5’2″) but so out-going and makes dirty jokes and innuendo and shit, that people don’t know how to process what he’s saying because it’s like “wtf, is this really happening?” Often what’ll happen is some hot chick will make a flirty comment or dirty joke or something to someone in the group and then he’ll come back with something WAY over the top that’s even dirtier (and funnier lol) and she’ll look at him aghast like he’s a monster and he’ll go “Oh, what, THAT was too much? You’re sitting there talking about shaving your cooter and I’M the inappropriate asshole here? lol” and her and the group will crack up and often you can tell her attraction spikes toward him. But see how he’s coming from the frame of “what I’m doing is normal and fine, YOU’RE the one acting weird.” He has a really strong frame 24/7 which is one of the reasons he gets laid.

    The problem right now is that your frame isn’t very strong, so you’re looking at her to define “is what I’m doing weird?” So she blinks and kind of semi-nods, and you’re like “ah fuck, that was weird of me to say, ugh, lemme try to salvage this by changing the conversation around…” Compare that to your other Field Report where you stormed out onto the patio going “Who the FUCK is out here?” or whatever, where you weren’t looking at all to anyone else to define if that was strange or not.

    Don’t stress this too much, this happens at the start of the night a lot when you’re out of state…once you get into state (get chatty/flirty with people and start feeling awesome/invincible), you internally define what’s normal/weird and your frame is strong and other people fall into it.

    “I try to steer the conversation in a few different, non-work/school directions, but I get shut down pretty fast.”

    All good lol one of the solid things about you is that you don’t prematurely eject which is a problem a lot of new guys have. They go “omg it didn’t go flawless, she’s shooting me down, I’m out of here!!” and run away, when really it was just like, she didn’t know how to respond or he read into something too much or she wasn’t offended enough that he couldn’t turn it around still, etc. and they bail to avoid feeling any awkwardness.

    It’s good that you stick in, it teaches you to handle social pressure. Like getting up to do a speech at Toastmasters where you’re learning to have tons of people watching you as you speak…it’s scary as balls, but the more you do it the more you get used to the pressure and the less it freaks you out in the future, which is a big part of confidence. :)

    This is why when guys go mountain climbing and shit, ya, you’re a badass alpha and that’s great…but when you get to the bar, can you deal with the social pressure of approaching a hot girl? Because that’s a different kind of pressure that you didn’t learn to deal with when you were climbing that mountain. Often the answer is that no, they can’t, even though logically the Keyboard Jockey theorists think “wtf he climbed a MOUNTAIN, it’s just some girl in a bar, he’d have no problem”. In action, often (like 90%+ of the time) those guys are still chicken-shit with women.

    Contrast that to PUAs who will do shit like approach mixed sets of guys/girls, or couples on a date, or people in situations that are seemingly impossible or awkward like through the window of a restaraunt etc. Those guys are learning to handle the social pressure of “everyone is watching and judging me right now but I’m going to ignore it and stay the course and not let that sway me from attempting to achieve this goal”. :)

    Roosh had a post on his site slagging RSD this week and I shit all over the Manosphere in my response because I think a lot of the Manosphere guys only approach girls that are easy sets and run away from any kind of challenge whatsoever, and as a result they don’t know how to deal with any kind of setback, so a guy like Roosh comes to a North American city like Toronto and all the girls seem like bitches and all the guys seem like jerks and it’s a horrible experience because he hasn’t built up that skillset of handling non-optimal approaches.

    Same time, some of the overly-enthusiastic RSD style guys can take it a little far and get themselves thrown out of bars and malls and shit, so you have to use some common sense and social calibration lol

    “So I say ‘hey, do you go to grad school with us?’ She glances to me with a stone face, then gives a slow nod, like she’s looking at a homeless man.”

    Odds are what happened here was that either your Gunfighter girl or her friend “girl coded” to the Frog “help us!!” and she came over to just fuck shit up with you. Proooooobably it was after your jacket comment where the vibe went to shit because it sounds like it was alright from there. Also it sounds like they didn’t know when/if you were going to leave, so for all they know you’re the guy who’s going to try to hang with their group all night long if they don’t get rid of you…this is again where the False Time Constraint comes in, or leaving on a high note (get her to laugh and then go “I gotta’ go take a piss, have a good night!”), etc.

    For girls especially, it’s a very real problem that if they’re friendly to a guy they aren’t attracted to, he’ll end up thinking he has a shot and follow them around all night and they get stuck with him. Imagine if that Frog was like “Hi, my name is Frog!!!” and got all up in your space and followed you around all night while you’re trying to approach hotties. You’d be like “fuuuuck go awayyyyy” lol

    “Then, almost immediately, her and the original target start having inside conversations and stop paying attention to whatever I say.”

    It’s all good, this is part of why I figure she thought she was saving them. The irony is that if you had met Frog under different circumstances, she might be the nicest girl in the fucking UNIVERSE to you, but in that scenario she thought she was Batman swooping in to save her friends from you. This kind of thing happens in bars a lot because everyone assumes a guy talking to a girl is trying to fuck her, so a lot of people are over-protective, thus the mother hens and cockblock friends and AMOG guys and shit that leap out of the shadows all the time.

    Another way to handle these situations is to diffuse them by Disqualifying yourself (ie – imply that you’re not trying to fuck their friend). Acknowledge the situ (Statement of Empathy), then Disqualify yourself, so I use stuff like “lol don’t worry, I’m not hitting on your friend. I just recognized her from class and my buddy went to the pisser so we’re just shooting the shit. :) So are you in her grad class too?” or if it’s someone you don’t know and who isn’t in your social circles or anything I’ll use “lol don’t worry, I’m not hitting on your friend, I have a girlfriend. My buddy went to the pisser and I’m bored so I’m just shooting the shit. :) So how do you two know eachother?”

    One important thing to note there is that I’m transitioning after I say that stuff. So I Empathize, Disqualify, then instead of waiting for her to respond (because what’s she gonna’ say “oh sorry I was a bitch there”? lol), I just act like everything must obviously be smoothed over now so let’s talk like normal people. Like 90% of the time they’ll warm up to me after that because they realize I’m not a threat. It doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck their friend or anything, but it at least helps keep the set from getting awkward and I can leave it on the next high note and tell them to have a fun night instead of:

    “Mentally, I tell myself that I hate the sexual marketplace, it’s bullshit, yadda yadda yadda. I accept defeat soon enough and just eject.”

    …the feels of which I know all too well. :)

    This is why I say at this point you’re learning more the ins and outs of social interactions, VS tearing down pussy left and right. You’re learning to handle these kinds of things so that down the road you’re handling them on instinct (the way I do now, even though I had to consciously figure this stuff out like you are back when I started) and you can go “oh, whoops, awkwardness, okay fixed it, now back to seducing this girl” and it’s just a little road-bump in your sarge instead of a brick wall.

    Pickup is more about doing a million little things right instead of a couple big ones.

    For the wedding talk, see how if you view it from their frame of “this guy is trying to fuck my friend, and he’s going to follow us around all night and we really don’t want him to so I’m going to go in and save my friend from him and make him go away so that we know he isn’t going to lurk around us all night”, this:

    “I attempt to interject with ‘man, must be some conversation, are you guys fighting?’ Then, the original target looks at me and is like ‘we’re talking about her wedding.’ And I blink, “Oh yeah? Which one…who’d she get married to?” Then she responds, in an almost shrill tone “Her fiance.” I make a mistake “Since he’s her husband now, and we’re talking about him in the present, do we say she married her husband, or is it still fiance?””

    …is like a fucking nightmare to them? :D Like you’re doing GOOD at keeping the conversation going by asking questions and taking an interest and shit, but they’re viewing your actions through a really tainted lens at this point. If they were viewing you through the lens of “omg my friend totally wants to fuck this guy, she thinks he’s so amazing, and she hopes he never leaves the conversation they’re having and I’m going to go in and help her fuck him”, the EXACT SAME SHIT that you said would have gone over AMAZING and they’d have LOVED you.

    It wasn’t what you were saying there, it was that they were viewing you through a shitty lens because you weren’t able to diffuse that lens and replace it with a better one. :) Again I’m not saying you could turn it around and fuck Gunfighter chick, but it was probably possible to at least steer the interaction into a vibe where you’re just a normal guy shooting the shit and go on your way with nobody feeling negative feelings about you and with you still in a decent mood instead of hating the bullshit that you just went through.

    “I talk with a few other friends for awhile, internally pissed off that even froggies act like they’re better than me. But, I just deal with it.”

    lol if it’s any consolation, they still often hate me even though I’m good with girls now. David Deangelo had a funny bit where he says the only girls he can’t pickup are the fat ugly ones, because if he says ANYTHING to them they’re like “You just want to fuck me!! Too bad I have a boyfriend!!” and he’s like wtf bitch lol

    “so I’m like “oh, I was just texting my undying love for you. It’s cool.””

    Good stuff. I like that by default you drop into the undying love and sarcastic romance stuff. It seems to be something that’s funny to you, and there’s a LOT of good roleplay/teasing in that that you’ll get into down the road (breaking up with them, making up again, etc. when there was no actual relationship, they love that teasing shit when your vibe is solid).

    “Internally I melt down, so when a friend asks if I want to go play some pool across the street, I accept.”

    Good. Get the fuck outta’ there, it helps. When I started out, the city I was in had a lot of bars/pubs/clubs on one street, so I would bar-hop to different places if I felt like my vibe was going to shit. Each new environment you walk into is a new chance to “reset” your state and try again…it’s hard to pull out of a nose-dive once the negative thought loops of “everyone can tell I’m lame, fuck it’s so obvious, I’ve been standing here alone for an hour, god I look like such a loser” etc. if you don’t jolt your senses out of it.

    Now I’m in a city where it’s difficult to bar-hop (cover charges, distances, etc.) so I’ll go out to the patio or to the other end or floor of the club, etc. for a bit if I need to, but it was a lot easier to bar-hop. The bar-hopping was also why going out solo was alright, because I didn’t have to explain to anyone where I was going or say any good-byes, I could just walk out and head to the next place. And in each place I could just spend like 20 min in each bar trying to open a few sets pretending I was on my way to meet up with friends at another bar, so I didn’t have as much social pressure.

    I would actually walk into a lot of places and scan them quick to see if there were girls to sarge or a good spot for me to post up or anyone in there or if the environment seemed friendly or if the music was too loud etc. and if it wasn’t looking decent I would literally just go to the pisser and take a leak, then walk right back out the door and go to the next place lol No one pays attention, no one cares.

    “I pump myself up — the plan’s simple, just to go there and tell three girls that I love them. Ha. That’s where I was.”

    lol frustration and rage at yourself will fuel a lot of what you do as you get further into pickup. It’s all good, whatever gets you going. :)

    “Approach anxiety totally killed me, and I cruised the bar for like ten minutes like a tool doing nothing.”

    All good, happens to all of us, even years into the game. I still have nights like that. Here’s a great Tyler video on it where he shows himself being a tool full of approach anxiety and how he pushes through it:

    It’s really fucking hard to do lol I still have the occasional solo night where I’ll go home without approaching a single set and kick myself while I’m in bed thinking about all the easy sets I totally could have opened but I’m such a pussy blah blah blah. Cold-approach is effin hard. :)

    “She turns, and I’m like, ‘wow, I just fell in love with you. You believe in love at first sight — of course you do.’”

    This is solid in terms of words/construction (the “of course you do” is a good “assume attraction” bit).

    “The girl blinks, then she reaches out and grabs the ropes on my jacket (they tighten the hood), then neatly ties them.”

    lol Would you say this girl was drunk, weird, or tooling you? Do you remember what kind of vibe you got from her? I bring this up because there’s a consistent pattern forming here that I’ll explain later in this comment after a few more interactions.

    “the drunktext girl from before finds me, turning me around.”

    Indicator of Interest.

    “She’s like “hey, you’re walking around here — are you lost?”

    She’s noticed and has been paying attention to you, another ioi. Lots of fun roleplaying/teasing you can do with this “Are you stalking me?” “Have you been watching me? If you’re in love with me, you can just come out and say it you know.” etc. etc.

    “You look sort of confused, I’m concerned.””

    Shit-test. She’s giving you a chance to flirt/tease back.

    “I blink a few times, then shake my head with a smile.”

    Not horrible, but missing an opportunity to convey your personality and roleplay/tease into a fun interaction. No big deal, you were out of state at this point after walking around feeling like a tool for 10 min etc. I’ve dropped the ball a zillion times where I’m just out of it and a girl lobs me a nice slow pitch over the plate and my brain doesn’t react with anything solid.

    On the plus side, by saying nothing you’re not actively fucking it UP, so that’s good lol

    ““Plus, you’re like ‘yay high, so…’””

    Another shit-test. She’s trying to get into a teasing back-and-forth fun vibe with you so she’s lobbing another one at you hoping you’ll swing.

    “Have nothing to respond with, I just stand there and blink.”

    lol. Again this is at least better than saying/doing something retarded.

    “Then she laughs, tapping me on the shoulder, and says she’s just kidding.”

    She can’t tell if you’re offended or not because you aren’t reacting either positively or negatively, so she’s apologizing just incase because she was probably expecting you to play along and be fun.

    You could probably bang that chick in the right circumstances, but you’d have some work to do and you’d probably have to get into some good back-and-forth banter/roleplaying with her to do it. Which is probably easy for you if you’re in state feeling good, so maybe another night!

    Note the funny part of all this: You did to her what Gunfighter chick did to you when you mentioned her jacket…stared, blinked, smiled, and made her feel awkward lol Note that the reason you did it wasn’t that you think she’s creepy or ugly, it’s that you were just not expecting that situation and weren’t in the right mood to play back.

    “and a girl in that group says ‘hey, that’s a nice sweater,’ and I respond with ‘thanks, I really love you.’”

    All good. That’s an ioi and you could stay and flirt with her, but you already know that.

    “his conclusion is that he thinks sarging alone is gay and a last resort for when you don’t have a group. He’s like ‘dude, you have friends — use them. That way you have somewhere to go back to after each group of people you talk to.’”

    He’s not incorrect. As long as your friends are cool with you vanishing and shit and they don’t try to get you so shit-faced you can’t approach coherently and they don’t tell you “dude don’t talk to girls like that, you’re being creepy” etc., it’s great.

    Even when I go solo, the first thing I do is establish a “home base” by making friends with an easy set (doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like). Just a group (big or small) that I can go back to in-between sets and such.

    “I have another friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend who is all about going out and just talking to girls.”

    I like this guy lol Go out with him when you can…from the rest of your report, this is a guy that you can make good progress with. He’s not so good-looking that you’ll chalk up any of his success to “well he’s good-looking” or get shunned by girls for him. And he’s out there TO TALK TO GIRLS, which is the main thing. And it sounds like he has a good positive upbeat attitude about rejection etc.

    “Unlike a lot of the other people I know, he’s not particularly good-looking, is overweight”

    Long as he’s out-going and charismatic, that stuff won’t really matter…as you found out. :)

    “I notice something different about the way he interacts versus how I interact. Unfortunately, this interaction I can’t remember as well, but in general, it was/is hard for me to get anyone’s attention/enthusiasm. Whereas, he got into several sustained, fun interactions.”

    Good, pay attention and observe him in action. I’ve learned a lot from watching and running sets with buddies who are good with chicks and comparing what they do to what I do.

    Got some suggestions for where you’re going wrong coming up.

    “I also notice that I don’t have that many interesting things to say, beyond stupid shit like ‘that’s an interesting scarf/jacket….it’s like a [insert random observation]””

    This is a good thing to do in general…I think the problem you’re running into is that you’re waiting for the girl to contribute something to the interaction after you say that kind of thing, but you haven’t passed the Hook Point yet (where they go from “when will this guy leave?” to “I hope this guy never leaves!”) so the girls don’t want to contribute yet. Your buddy sounds like he’s passing the Hook Point with the group, thus he’s getting sustained interactoins and attention/enthusiasm.

    Essentially you’re both on skateboards kicking the ground to get moving but you stop kicking and stand on your board too soon so you lose your momentum while he gives a few more kicks and makes it to a downward hill and sails along.

    “I pick up the vibe that she’s trying to shoo me away”

    Possibly just bad timing on your part with these 3, with their phone drama going on. Chalk it up to just a blah set. Nothing to really learn from this one.

    ““Hey, quick question before I get back to this group behind me…do I look like a drug dealer?””

    Solid opener (doubt any girls watch Keys to the VIP), and you remembered the False Time Constraint.

    ““It’s a time machine.””

    lol

    ““Yeah, I actually know what’s going to happen before it happens. For example, these two, on the left and right, are going to get into a huge ass fight in a few minutes.”

    The 6 turns to look at me, “really?”

    “Yeah…you guys are going to have words. When the time comes, just know that -she- stole -it-.”

    I say, indicating the 5.”

    This is REALLY solid stuff you’re pulling out of your ass here. Great roleplaying and just self-amusing. Creating little conspiracies and all that…this is great.

    “then the 5 chimes in with. “Yeah, yeah, whatever shut the fuck up.””

    lol 5 can sense the 4 is into you and 5 thinks she’s hotter than the 4, so now it’s time to shit-test you and eff your shit up.

    “Again, internally I’m outraged that this is just how the world works. That people can just be complete assholes with impunity.”

    lol ya, get used to that shit. If it’s any consolation, as you get better and a stronger frame, people are less dick-ish to you. It still happens now and then but you start putting out the vibe of “This isn’t a guy to be rude to, he’s a cool guy I should be friendly with”.

    Also some people are just shitty people…especially chicks at the bar who know there’s ZERO reprocussions for them being an asshole.

    “But, I know I can’t just call her a stupid bitch”

    Think of it this way: Your goal in a situation like that isn’t to necessarily fuck her, or anyone in her group, or to “get even” with her (calling her a stupid bitch), it’s just to see if you can turn the set around into a positive one regardless of how retarded she is. Like a test to see which is stronger, your determination to enjoy yourself, or her determination to be a dick-head lol

    ““See, that’s the kind of hostility I’m talking about…she’s gonna beat the shit out of you.””

    This is good, this was a solid way to handle it. The 4 probably likes you for not being phased by her bitchy friend, and the 5 will probably want to shit-test you more because you’re unphased (remember before how I said girls will start with weak jabs and if you remain unphased they’ll start bringing out heavier tests)…the irony is the 5 is probably a bit attracted/curious at this point because of how you handled that. She doesn’t necessarily want to fuck your brains out, but you’re on her radar as “investigate and test this one more”.

    “the 4, bless her heart and limited options”

    lol’ed at this.

    “interesting thing to note with that 5, when she retreated to another larger group of people and I retreated to my group of people…I saw her look at me several times.”

    You’re on her radar, but you haven’t blown her away or anything. She’s just trying to figure out your deal now. I would actually guess that she’s the type that isn’t attracted to guys who react to her bullshit, so she tests guys by being a complete bitch and threatening violence etc. and if a guy reacts, she just riles him up and causes drama, but if a guy doesn’t react, she’s attracted to that. You didn’t react, but she doesn’t know enough about you to know if that’s congruent or not.

    “In my mind I’m like ‘how can someone -hate- me so fast lol?””

    You hate the ones you love. :)

    “I chat up a guy who’s also on the outer orbit of this social circle.”

    Good stuff, keep making friends and being social.

    “The 5 is standing to my left, back turned”

    This probably isn’t an accident. Girls will stand near you but face away from you, hoping you’ll open them. A girl like this, when she turned around, I would call her out like “YOU again. (to the guy) This girl is so mean to me. She threatened to kill me earlier lol” and tease her about it, cold-read that she’s probably read 50 Shades of Grey and would slap you around in bed, etc. etc. and now you’re talking about fucking.

    ““Yeah, I’m going to break his fucking nose.””

    lol This is just her testing you some more. You didn’t react to “shut the fuck up”, so now she’s escalating it to see if you’ll react to that. A girl like this will often shit-test you allllll the way to the bedroom. Usually this type is a good feisty lay, but you have to balance whether it’s worth all that work lol

    ““What? Pegasus, unicorns? Nah those things don’t exist, you’re bad at this game!””

    lol This is good. When I’m bored in a set I like to misinterpret things in fucked up ways and then make fun of them for saying what I’m misinterpreted them as saying. It’s frustrating to them in a funny way.

    “the drunk uggo lets me know she has a boyfriend — no prompting.”

    lol. Just overcompensating for her ugliness. Plus they probably know by that point that you’re looking to fuck something that night.

    Honestly, you would probably enjoy your night more by approaching hotter girls. Like the ones that you figure you wouldn’t have a shot with. At least if you’re getting shot down by hotties, it’s not so frustrating. :)

    Note that at this point your state/vibe is COMPLETELY different from that other Field Report where you were dominating everything.

    “5 is still standing there, talking to another friend of mine”

    Again probably not a fluke.

    “‘sheeeit, I’m great, I’m about to domestic violenced up in this motherfucker.’”

    lol this isn’t bad, but it IS reacting to the 5.

    “The 5 waves a hand at me and is like ‘he’s fucking drunk, whatever,’”

    She’s just fucking with you here. Probably has a history of abusive boyfriends, but goads them into abusing her because she likes the emotional rollercoaster of it all, Rhianna style.

    Could you fuck that 5? It’s possible…without being there to see what her voice tone was like and all that, it’s hard to say, but I’ve had sets where a girl is that much of a bitch to me (I actually LIKE bitchy obnoxious loud girls, personally lol) and staying solid through it passes her tests and we hook up. But again it’s a case of “is the reward worth putting up with all the punishment?” For me, that kind of attitude isn’t frustrating or annoying at all, I think it’s funny because I interpret it as flirting and just playing hard to get and testing me, so it doesn’t affect me at all for a girl to say that kind of stuff to me. But for you right now, it’s annoying as fuck, so it’s probably not worth your time/energy to bother with her.

    Something to think back on in your head is, when she was looking over at you from that other group, in-between the head-to-head sparring you guys were doing, was she glancing over at you with an interested expression, a neutral expression, or anger/hatred? If it was neutral or interested, she was probably actually attracted (or curious about whether she should be attracted)…vs an actual full angry/hate staring daggers at you which is more like she just legitimately hates you for something. Often you’ll find that even though she’s a bitch to you face-to-face, there are sub-communications going on where she’s giving away that she doesn’t ACTUALLY legitimately “hate” you.

    Anyway, enough on her lol

    “I’m kinda bummed and he’s like ‘nah, fuck that. It’s going take a long time to get good. Those sets are over.’”

    Solid attitude. Again I like this guy. Try to let yourself get sucked into his positivity and spit it back at him. When my buddies and I go out, all we talk about is how awesome we are and how we’re the shit etc. even if it’s totally retarded. “Fuck I look good tonight, look at this badass hair, it’s fucking PERFECT!” and we’ll compliment eachother and shit. It’s just good for staying in a positive mood.

    “So, he’d just point out girls and I’d go open them.”

    Good stuff, play some games together. Point out girls for eachother to open, give eachother silly shit to open girls with, bet a drink on who can get slapped first, give him $100 and have him give you $20 back for each approach, give the other guy 30 seconds to approach or he gets a punch in the arm, etc.

    “I start noticing a pattern. Most of these sets went like this: ‘Can I ask you a question, do I look like a drug dealer?’ Blah blah blah, then I make some lame-assed observation. Never generate attraction, it’s awkward, I’m awkward, shit peters out, I leave.”

    Right, I think you’re just waiting for the girls to contribute to the interaction before you’ve reached the Hook Point. I think the 90-10 rule will help you:

    “Keep in mind Juggler’s 90-10 rule. That is, you must be prepared to provide 90 percent of the conversation at the beginning of an interaction with a woman until she is warmed up. If you go in and give 50%, expecting she will give 50% – like most conversations in the non-PU world, you will be disappointed. She will give only 10%. That adds up to 60%. Not enough and the conversation will stall and collapse. So be big enough for the both of you and then taper back as she gets warmed up.”

    Here’s a super young Tyler 2hr audio thing:

    http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/realsocialdynamics.com_audio.mp3

    At 94:30 he talks about the 90-10 rule.

    At 89:30 he talks about “illusionary input”, where you’re helping the girl contribute in a really easy lobbing-a-softball way.

    Also from the Tyler Digest:

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/276760/Tyler-Durden-The-Tyler-Digest

    “Do not try to touch/kino/stoke/caress/sneezeon a girl who is locking up. She is locking up because you haven’t conveyed enough value, and you are trying toget her to be contributive to the conversation when her autopilot response isto lockup so you won’t keep talking to her. It happens to everyone from timeto time.You cannot try for rapport with a girl who you’ve not conveyed high enoughvalue to yet. If you have value going in, then you can. But otherwise you just keep plowing her with neutral rapport and illusionary input, until sheunlocks. The key here is neutral rapport with illusionary input. It is asecret PUA trick that allows you to put her on pause while you convey enoughvalue to get her to be willing to be contributive.”

    From Page 258:

    “Conversational ratios are indicative of social value. Withstructured/stacked game, we use NEUTRAL and BREAKINGrapport, in order to retain value over the girl despite that we are theones doing most of the talking (most of her talking in this case willbe done by applying ILLUSIONARY INPUT, as opposed to heractually struggling to think of something to contribute to keep theconvo going).”

    You might also find some useful stuff starting on the lower half of Page 259 where he talks about turning around girls that hate him or angry sets in general. He provides a structure breakdown for it after his example. Could be useful for ya.

    Anyway, so Illusionary Input is similar to a “Yes, Ladder” in sales, where you ask the person tiny quick questions that they contribute little quick responses to without having to think. They get used to contributing, but they don’t have to think at all. It’s a way of buying some time to convey your personality/value while still interacting (VS just telling her a story or making a stand-alone observation).

    So “That’s a cool jacket, you look like a Western gunfighter.” becomes “That’s a cool jacket. Have you ever seen those old Western movies? Like with Clint Eastwood and shit. (ya) You know when that mysterious stranger rolls into town smoking a cigar with a 6-shooter strapped to his belt? (ya) That jacket totally reminds me of that shit. (lol) You aren’t carrying a 6-shooter under it are you? (lol no) ‘Cause then I’m gonna have to make sure I stay on your good side. (lol) Let me guess, you’re the bad girl of the group that’s always starting bar fights. (lol noooo lol)”

    etc. etc. Basically you’re just stretching shit out and dropping in a bunch of easy spots for her to respond without thinking, so you can convey your personality, and pass that Hook Point where you can go from 90-10 to 60-40, and then eventually 50-50 or even 20-80 etc. depending on the attraction.

    This is why your buddy says “I just need to, after getting the feet thing down, just polish an opener, false time constraint, transition, and DHV story.” You’re basically doing an Opener, occasionally forgetting the FTC, and then you don’t transition into anything or DHV, and instead you wait for the girl to transition things for you or take the lead or respond to you in a way that helps you.

    “6: “hahhaah well tonight she is, but sometimes I wear the leather jacket y’know…””

    6 wants to fuck you.

    “The 7 is trying to wrap things up, then my friend walks in, jabbing an index finger at the 7.”

    Solid wingman here. He knows the 7′s attention is gone and he has to snap it back into place. An old-school PUA move was to snap your fingers and go “HEY. Show’s over here! (then turn to her friends) Man, is she always like this? lol”

    “Both of them turn to look at him, answering at the same time…something like ‘yesyes/oh yeah!’”

    6 wants to booooooone lol

    “and then the 6 is like ‘you guys are really funny!’ but 6 and 7 are leaving.”

    6 wants to booooone. :) Bad timing/logistics but you could probably plow for the 6s number. It wouldn’t be super solid but you might be able to pull off a 2am “hey you still out? let’s grab a drink for last call” rendezvous because she’s looking for sex.

    “My friend seems to be glancing around the room before they’ve even left.”

    lol He can probably tell the logistics were too fucked to keep going.

    “My friend is like ‘hey, watch your feet. I noticed that a lot of the time your feet were pointing at them.””

    Try not to take his advice too personal, though it doesn’t sound like you did, but incase he throws some more tips your way. It helps him out to have a buddy who’s awesome, so he’s not going to try to tool you or anything, any tips he’s offering you are to help you become awesome too so that you’re two awesome guys and girls are like “wow we want to fuck both of you” instead of “this guy is awesome but ugh I’ll have to fuck the other one” lol

    VS an AMOG who’s just trying to fuck with you and keep you in your place below him, you know? Your friend probably has good intentions and it sounds like he has a decent amount of experience so he’s going to notice little things that you don’t because you have a lot of stuff running through your head as you get a grasp on all this.

    “Now, I’ve been trying to have my feet pointing away, but maybe I’m still doing it a lot.”

    Check your leaning in and pecking too, like where you lean way in to hear them, and stand in front of them like you’re an Entertainer Man trying to keep their attention. I have a short buddy who has this problem, from the outside it looks like he’s a dancing Hobbit in front of the girls putting on a tap-dance show for them lol I think it’s harder to snuff this out when you’re short because it’s legitimately harder to hear the girls and shit, but it’s important to work on if you’re doing it. :)

    (not sure if you’re doing it, but usually facing them and pecking go hand-in-hand with most guys. It took me a loooong time to stop pecking)

    “I actually watch her go from -cold- to lukewarm the longer he talked to her.”

    You’ll be able to do this in time. Check that Tyler bit about turning an interaction around that I linked up above in the Tyler Digest for an example of it. A lot of times you can warm a chick up simply by keeping your cool and acting normal and natural and expecting her to warm up, and just sticking in there…over time she falls into your frame of “we’re going to have a pleasant conversation here” and she’ll start to warm up.

    “I’m going to try to get out there every Weds, Thurs, Friday, Sat.”

    Good stuff! Keep it up!

    “Me coming up with decent shit to say seems to be very very inconsistent.”

    That’s ’cause you’re mostly winging it. There’s no shame in making up a couple routines or practicing telling a DHV story or two. You’ll find Naturals tell the same stories over and over if you hang around them while they interact with different people. And right now you don’t have a ton of experience making shit up or have many interesting stories to tell, so it can help to have a little foot-hold planned.

    You’re doing something like:

    1) Approach
    2) Opener
    3) Cold-read
    4) …waiting for her to contribute……..
    5) Fail

    lol VS something like:

    1) Approach
    2) Opener
    3) Tease her about her answer
    4) Cold-read
    5) Transition to DHV story
    6) Qualify her based on your story topic
    7) Tease her for her answer (Push)
    8) Just kidding, I love you (Pull)
    9) Qualify her (but wait, can you–)
    10) DHV story
    11) Qualify her (at first I wasn’t sure about you, but now…)
    12) Push for #-close
    etc.

    Like, you’re just using 10% of the arsenal available to you right now, and that 10% is pretty make-shift right now. Which is totally fine, you’re new and this takes time to build up. But just so you get an idea of what a difference it makes to have some cold-reads, stories, qualfying questions, etc. up your sleeve.

    Hope some of this helps. Any questions, feel free to ask. You’re on the right track, there’s a lot to take in right now. :) You have some good natural instincts that come thru when you’re feeling in state so you’re not a hopeless case at all. Head out again this weekend and throw up another Field Report! Good luck!


    • Naz
      on January 9, 2013 at 10:02 pm
      Original Link

      Here is a grand difference i noticed between yareally’s analysis and that of many other’s I know; he enforces the idea that this which appears negative is in fact a positive. That mentality -whether warranted by the actuality of the situation or not -is sufficient to manifest itself into a reality.


      • YaReally
        on January 9, 2013 at 11:37 pm
        Original Link

        lol in the field actually sarging, EVERYTHING is positive to me, even if its delusional to think so, because that mindset helps the sarges that night.

        But in analysis afterward or analyzing other people’s reports, it’s 100% honesty because lying/exaggerating doesn’t help the person learn. In Scray’s case I’m also making sure to highlight positives where he may gloss over them or not realize there are positives to take from a situation because as a new guy he’s got a lot of negative thought loops that will make him pass over the little positives of the night and convince him he isn’t making any progress or has no chance at improving and can convince him to give up “I’m just not good at this” style when that’s really not the case when you know what to look for.

        This comes from the old-school days where bootcamps realized in the field wasn’t the time to critique guys cause it would just paralyze them, and the tradition of the “end of the night debrief” in a McDonald’s or whatever began where they’d review the night for each guy and offer the advice/critique there.

        ***I’m not saying you’re implying that I’m bullshitting him lol***

        I just want to make this distinction clear for the haters who DO think that, and think PUAs are delusional “sure she called the cops but that just means I could’ve banged her” types lol. We’re only that way IN the field. ;) We shut it off when it comes to analysis.

        Scray says the right things but mainly when he’s in state, and his state is fleeting and easily fucked with right now, which is why I narrow his current sticking points down mainly to internally learning to keep his frame and deal with people fucking with it (so he’s in that good groove more often), and having some pre-made shit that he can fall back on when he’s out of state to try to help him get a foot-hold on it and claw his way into state.

        But ya, I 100% stand by anything I wrote. If I say I think he could’ve banged a girl or she secretly wanted him despite it logically seeming like she doesn’t, I mean that. Blowing smoke up his ass won’t help him, and I generally haven’t found that focusing on negatives (“you were a pussy dude, quit being a pussy, be a badass like me”) helps a guy either (unfortunately a lot of guys want to have a dick-measuring contest and just put other guys down instead of helping).



Women Dabbling In False Identities

Original Link

via Heartiste

Kate
on January 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm
Original Link

When you think about it, only a very sad and unhappy individual looking for escape would feel the need to make up an alternative identity. If you think this sort of person would be interesting to figure out (afterall, mystery is attractive to both genders) researching pathological liars will scare you straight.

I wish I had an actual source for this, but a friend months ago told me a story of a man who fell in love with a Russian woman online and was planing to go there only to find out “she” was a computer program :( Worse than a false identity would be discovering that what you thought was a person isn’t even human.

And speaking of Russian online brides, I once came across a court document of a divorce of an American man vs. his Russian bride two years after the marriage. He was claiming some sort of fraud (a medical condition, it appeared- my mail order bride doesn’t work!!!) and she claimed excessive cruelty. Because of the contract that had been made between them, she was entitled to the money he had promised her prior to her coming to the U.S. Not only that, but he had to continue supporting her two sons even after adulthood! BEWARE THE MAIL ORDER BRIDE!


  • YaReally
    on January 4, 2013 at 5:46 pm
    Original Link

    “Worse than a false identity would be discovering that what you thought was a person isn’t even human.”

    Fuckin Dr. Sbaitso…



Women Dabbling In False Identities

Original Link

via Heartiste

tenderman100
on January 4, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Original Link

I pursue married women almost exclusively. Here’s why.

First, a married woman who is out for new cock is more than likely to be married to a Beta. The Beta man can take many forms — a guy who is boring in bed, who can’t get it up, or when he does it’s too small. Sometimes the beta husband is exactly what the chick wanted — stable, financially secure to the degree she wanted (or to a lesser degree) but is soulless, intellectually vapid, inattentive, or simply ineffectual.

Second, before you get involved with a married woman, you really have to sound out what kind of beta she is married to — or rather if she’s married to one at all. If she is some kind of total slut, who is married to a guy who is very powerful and an Alpha, and she really want ANOTHER alpha…well run away. But if she’s married to a guy who, for example, is simply not pleasing her sexually or is so incredibly boring as a man…then that’s a woman that is worth banging. Even if you are discovered by the beta husband — as I once was by this very successful attorney husband, but a pure beta who simply couldn’t pound her like I could — all he will say is “stay away from my wife.” That beta is not going to murder you or subpoena you.

By the way, the more upscale the chick is, the better. If she’s got the nice house, the nice life, the nice workout club, the nice car….she’s not going to give that up. And the Beta husband isn’t going to do anything to you either…he’s got an image, commitments. Stay away from the babes with total working class loser types or, of course, the mafia types. But the upper middle class babes with the corporate husband or the small business husband…they are perfect targets.

Third, married women love the fantasy that “this guy will take me away from all this.” But deep down she knows it’s not going to happen. So you work the imagination, but you also bring her to reality. She will see that you will not rescue her…but she has experienced the fucking that she has craved. That tension, for her, is thrilling. And when you make her come by eating her pussy, and it hasn’t happened for her for so long, she will come crawling back to you. You have her.

Fourth, and finally, the encounters will be almost always completely sexual. She won’t spend the night. She will fuck, and leave. Oh, she might call, and text, and email, but her own schedule, her own commitments, will eventually lead her to see that this will be a sometime thing. In addition, she is almost always fucking nobody else but you — no time, no energy. She isn’t promiscuous, like the the 20 somethings unattached and in the bar scene. She also knows that SHE needs to keep it secret…and that she is in trouble if she gets caught. Women are tremendous liars, and especially good at lying to the beta.

Anyway, that’s why I love the married women. It exploits the hypergamous instinct completely and confirms my existential view about women. I have two going now. The sex is tremendous. The commitment from me is virtually non-existent.


  • YaReally
    on January 4, 2013 at 5:59 pm
    Original Link

    While I don’t specifically target married women above other women, I concur 100% with everything you wrote here. It all aligns with my own experiences.

    I’ve found the ones that have been with their man for a long time and KNOW he won’t do anything if we get caught, tend to be a lot less careful about being sneaky. That’s a tricky situ if you haven’t done any recon on who her hubby is and how beta/alpha he is because if he goes haywire she’ll throw you under the bus in a second to save her own ass.

    I try to glance at his name on her phone when he txts her asking where she is so I can Google him but mostly I rely on discussing him and their relationship after we fuck…that’s right guys who’ve been cheated on, your girl was telling another guy about your erectile disfunction, tiny dick, shitty bedroom skills, weird fetishes, premature ejaculating, etc.

    Definitely no desire to get married anytime soon after the shit I’ve seen/done lol These girls always seem like Good Girls to all their friends and family.


  • judgybitch
    on January 5, 2013 at 8:42 pm
    Original Link

    Good god! Who are these married women? Where do you find them? I know a lot of married women (I AM one!) and I can’t imagine any of them doing this.

    I must lead a very sheltered life.

    Also, I would have to really hate the second man, because my husband would definitely kill him.


    • YaReally
      on January 6, 2013 at 5:18 pm
      Original Link

      They are your friends. They just don’t share that side of themselves with you because you’d judge them.

      Most of the chicks that do this stuff, their friends think they’re angels and hold them up as examples of quality Good Girl women. They can’t even conceive of these girls doing this stuff.

      I actually didn’t understand that at first but I had a few incidents where I knew a girl as a dirty little slut because that’s the side she shows me since I don’t judge her…so I’d see her out with her friends and kiss and grope her and she’s back off and signal like “nonono” and I’d be confused and when I’d get her alone we’d be back on hot and heavy. One of the girls told me that I can’t do that in front of her friends because they think she’s the Good Girl of the group lol and from there I started noticing the pattern.

      We like to view our friends in the best possible light, it’s human nature.


  • whatsnew
    on January 6, 2013 at 9:38 am
    Original Link

    If she’s got the nice house, the nice life, the nice workout club, the nice car….she’s not going to give that up. [ ... ] Anyway, that’s why I love the married women. It exploits the hypergamous instinct completely and confirms my existential view about women. I have two going now. The sex is tremendous. The commitment from me is virtually non-existent.

    Sure, but by the same mechanism she will be far more likely to falsely accuse you of rape, especially if she gets caught in the act, but also could claim abuse and blackmail and threats if the she gets caught otherwise. As you should know she will be believed in nearly every case.

    Also the husband must pretend to believe her because if he does not believe her and tries to divorce her, the divorce will even more completely screw him up because he will look like a monster who wants to abandon an alleged rape/abuse victim.

    It is a risky game, and is only safer if you are suremely confident that you can handle and mitigate the risks.


    • YaReally
      on January 6, 2013 at 5:22 pm
      Original Link

      All of this. It’s a risky game to play. I save all my txts and make them send me dirty pics/vids and txt them after we bang so I have a few “that was fun :) I loved it” txts etc so that if it was necessary I would at least have some evidence that our sexual relationship was mutual.

      I’ve warned guys before that a chick who gets caught will toss you under the bus without hesitation. Like 99% of the time. Even if it means lying and you getting your ass kicked or going to jail etc. And she’ll do it without any remorse.



Greg Eliot
on January 4, 2013 at 5:27 pm
Original Link

I’m confused about this “dabbling” thing… since when did women have anything but false identities?


  • YaReally
    on January 4, 2013 at 6:00 pm
    Original Link

    lol this was my first thought too.



Lots Of Feminists Are Getting Banged Out By PUAs

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on January 3, 2013 at 6:23 pm
Original Link

I wouldn’t know if I have. They’re only feminists around guys who let them be.



Science Proves Game Works

Original Link

via Heartiste

Southern Man
on January 2, 2013 at 2:42 pm
Original Link

Sigh.

Science can’t prove anything. Science can only disprove. Our current body of scientific knowledge consists of what hasn’t yet been dis-proven. Stuff like general relativity and thermodynamics and laminar-flow aerodynamics. Even descriptions like the Standard Model, which we know is wrong but haven’t been able to formally disprove and replace, at least yet.

But this is social and behavioral studies. I won’t call it “science” because it’s not. That doesn’t mean it’s not a valid field of study. I do mean that you can’t approach social and behavioral studies with anything resembling a legitimate scientific method, so it’s not science.

Anyway, none of this means that game isn’t a valid take on human behavior. It is. As we often say here: game works, bitches. But you can’t prove that with science, any more than you can prove anything with science.

Since I’m harping about science, credentials are PhD in nuclear physics, MS in computer science. My day job is improving science literacy through education. It’s a thankless job, but some one has to try.

[Heartiste: Yes, I'm aware of the pedantic technicalities. Chalk it up to artistic license.]


  • YaReally
    on January 2, 2013 at 4:32 pm
    Original Link

    I actually agree with you. A lot of the evidence in this article is the same self-reporting “lets ask people in a classroom to write down how they think they’d react in a situation” stuff that I roll my eyes at when they say “we asked 100 women if they like guys to wear suits”.

    But the anti-gamers and Aunt Sue types have been using studies like that to argue against Game for years so this is decent ammo to say “if you acknowledge that those studies are a legit form of research, then this must be too. If you say this is bullshit then so were your studies and now we’re back to square one where you’ll have to trust the guys who are going out daily reporting their results.”

    Either way it’s a win to me. :)



anon
on January 2, 2013 at 3:09 pm
Original Link

The concepts underlying seduction strategies are sound. But the popular jargon used to describe the dynamic is…. unfortunate.

To borrow a bit from Matt King, if this website’s proprietors started taking their oeuvre a bit more seriously, starting by dropping such unfortunately chosen words as “game”, “alpha/beta”, etc, maybe there wouldn’t be so much controversy.

[Heartiste: People's discomfort with shorthand terms of illumination is not my moral crisis.]


  • Libertardian
    on January 2, 2013 at 4:01 pm
    Original Link

    I remember Strauss’ “The Game” being derided by several female reviewers as “creepy”, even though he wisely gave it a chick-flick ending. “Creepy” seems to be the invariable epithet for a beta who violates the caste system and tries to jump the prison wall. Likewise, Mystery’s book tried to be P.C. by such things as replacing “bitch shield” with “protection shield”, which was of course wasted on the legions of enraged feminazis posting venomous reviews. If you tried to apply different terms to all this stuff, I suspect you’d just end up on a euphemism treadmill. Game often involves dragging the hamster out of his dark fetid cage and into the light of day, which tends to photosynthetically transform him into a rabid gore-stained tiger.


    • YaReally
      on January 2, 2013 at 4:26 pm
      Original Link

      “If you tried to apply different terms to all this stuff, I suspect you’d just end up on a euphemism treadmill.”

      This is why we generally don’t sanitize it. Now that PUA has been dragged into MSM analysis there IS some toning down of harsher terms here and there, but that’s kind of a necessary evil to avoid being demonized across the board.

      Back in the underground days though, terms like “bitch shield” and mottos like “make the ho say no” helped shake AFC newbies out of their social conditioning and start waking up to reality.

      We cared more about getting results, converting new guys, and building the knowledge base, than caring about whether we were politically correct or offensive.

      And that’s why we made such fast progress. Sanitizing bogs everything down. Now that the majority of the work has been done to gather the knowledge, we can start sanitizing it to make it digestible to the MSM…some companies are already attempting this. 10 years from now there’ll probably be a bunch of “friendly” terminology for all this lol



YaReally
on January 2, 2013 at 4:12 pm
Original Link

:)

“Mark my words, the work I’ve done on attraction will probably be examined by the academic community eventually.” – TylerDurden, representing old-school Mystery Method Game, circa like 2003-ish

All we’ve been doing as PUAs is doing mass social experiments, reporting collecting and organizing the data from them, determining consistent patterns, and backwards engineering how to replicate specific results consistently.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: PUA Game isn’t about “theories” or “ideas”. If tomorrow all our collective experience showed that money, looks, height, etc ultimately made any significant difference in getting laid, we’d be encouraging guys to chase obtaining those things.

Anti-gamers talk shit about us like we’re all brainwashed cult morons worshipping random gurus and shit but the reality is all we’re interested in is whatever works…even if it’s not politically correct or makes people feel “squicky” to acknowledge that we aren’t the special unpredictable unique snowflakes we were raised to believe we are. The advertising/marketing industry has understood that for years.

We’re out there Field Testing this stuff in our Social Labs daily, feel free to join us in our research…it’s pretty fucking fun. ;)



walawala
on January 2, 2013 at 9:36 pm
Original Link

“”The popular game forums focus more on attraction than on comfort building, and the reason is likely because most men are naturally worse at the former. But in my experience, I see a lot of men dropping the ball during the comfort stage. “”

Calibration is vital. The haters and femininists focus on the techniques as though it’s trickery.

But the most-overlooked aspects of game in my own personal experience are “inner game” traits: what Krauser refers to as “Soft-Dominance”.


  • YaReally
    on January 3, 2013 at 12:16 am
    Original Link

    “The popular game forums focus more on attraction than on comfort building”

    If you escalate fast enough, you have to do comfort/rapport afterward to avoid ASD issues triggering regret and Buyer’s Remorse. Like the girl from the other day I escalated with super fast to sex, but after we banged I told her “Let’s cuddle” and we chilled together and got to know eachother and shot the shit for about an hour and she shared a bunch of deep comfort connection stuff about herself with me.

    If I hadn’t done that, it could’ve blown up in my face later (Buyer’s Remorse, rape accusations, just never see her again, etc.). Naturals run into this shit a lot because they don’t care about comfort/rapport, just getting the lay. But solid game where you “leave her better than you found her” and have her chasing you and coming back for more etc. involves comfort/rapport as well as Attraction.


    • walawala
      on January 3, 2013 at 9:19 pm
      Original Link

      @Ya Really, interesting story to share…girl I’m now gaming, I would rate a walawala 9, tall, long legs, truly gorgeous, but typical chick.

      I’d been gaming her for a while. At Christmas gives me a very thoughtful gift, then starts to get cool, then I game her more, she heats up. We go out, k-close. She cools. I back off, she heats up.

      We meet up at a club and hang out, dance. Then i leave while she’s still up dancing.

      I get 2 texts, clearly shit-tests: “did you leave?”

      Me: I’m a magician, disappeared

      Her: you didn’t even say goodbye

      Me; Batman

      A few things to note about this exchange.

      1) Two years ago my responses would have been defensive and supplicating
      2) The fact she’s now shit-testing is actually a positive indicator that the hamster is spinning
      3) the non-responses while on the surface seem dickish…in the context of how chicks operate are vital to understanding game.

      Earlier in the day I’d sent a text suggesting we meet up for a farewell dinner before a long holiday I was taking. She was “busy” working and didn’t really offer any alternative. I didn’t respond.

      Also, i had given her a DVD or some film or something we had discussed, she never bothered to even thank me for it.

      I never brought it up again.

      When girls are HB8′s…they get hit on all the time.

      When they meet someone who is gaming them, showing interest, then disappearing —-leaving without saying goodbye after hanging out—that’s when the the chased becomes the chaser.

      I never understood this concept before.

      Now I do.

      It takes real discipline not to cave into an HB8.

      Her protestations are shit-tests. She knows I asked her out, she knows she was flakey. She knows I didn’t react but just ploughed on.

      The persistence without neediness requires a clear head, discipline, an understanding of game and above all—-OPTIONS.


      • YaReally
        on January 6, 2013 at 5:37 pm
        Original Link

        “When they meet someone who is gaming them, showing interest, then disappearing —-leaving without saying goodbye after hanging out—that’s when the the chased becomes the chaser.”

        Yep. This is Mystery’s Cat String Theory in action. Put a string in front of a cat and it doesn’t care. But dangle it and yank it away, let it catch it slightly and yank it away again and the cat will be fucking mind-blown obsessed with chasing it.

        In one of his vids he talks about how he figured it out and it was from a stripper who would show interest then pull away and he realized he’d instinctively want to chase her when she did that takeaway. It’s more powerful because she SEEMS interested, then disappears, vs if she was just completely aloof to begin with.

        Also remember that you don’t have to respond to every txt. ;)



Sanitizing the Imperative

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on January 2nd, 2013 at 1:13 am
Original Link

@treylesnorth

In both cases her cheating was motivated by needing to get a reaction out of the guy lol

In my experience I think for the girls who cheat carelessly and basically want to get caught, a lot of the time they just need their guy to react. Jealousy, rage, hurt, it’s all good, as long as he reacts instead of being a monotone opinionless spineless beta like a lot of long-term relationship guys become. They need to see that their lazy lion laying (lol) in the sun can roar. It’s almost more for the guy’s benefit than her own as weird as that sounds…like she’s saying “c’mon grow a fucking spine!! Go ahead get mad at me, do SOMETHING, be a fucking man not this lame beta you’ve become!!”

I find that the girls who cheat secretly are generally still in love with their guy or WANT it to work with him but he just doesn’t give them the tingle anymore or he’s shit in bed. But they don’t need a reaction out of him. Often these are guys who are situationally alpha (at work or with friends etc) so they know he can roar and the cheating is more selfish-motivated (“I need a good lay until he sorts his shit out”).

In this chick’s case she has a guy who cheats so he’s probably pretty apathetic about her and an emotionally unavailable guy who’s probably pretty apathetic about her. So in both cases she’s trying to hurt them so they’ll react and she can assuage her fears that she’s irrelevant to them in the long-term. I’ve faked being jealous now and then in LTRs because I know it’s important to a girl sometimes lol

A game related Q here is: if you wanted to fuck and keep that girl, would you be the attentative type guy? Or the aloof asshole who’s apathetic about her? Notice that she goes into a big rant about how she wants to be treated nice, but is she chasing any of those guys? Or is she still ranting about the “assholes” who didn’t give her their full attention?

This is one of those things where the girl doesn’t realize she’s telling you her “blueprint”. What she thinks she wants and what she actually responds to are two entirely different things. It’s a fascinating bit of cognitive dissonance to me.


Men With Options

Original Link

via Heartiste

Days of Broken Arrows
on January 1, 2013 at 5:55 pm
Original Link

Wanting is one thing. Deep down, every man wants to screw every attractive woman he sees. But beyond the fact that most guys are limited in this, the “want” factor gets dialed down when you play the scenario through.

Sure, you might *want* to screw this one, but she’ll make your life hell; the other one will whine and tell everyone you’re a cad and that will end that. So “want” is both an instinctive thing and an intellectual one. If sex could all be emotion-free, it’d be easy.


  • YaReally
    on January 1, 2013 at 7:45 pm
    Original Link

    “Sure, you might *want* to screw this one, but she’ll make your life hell; the other one will whine and tell everyone you’re a cad and that will end that.”

    This is a good example (no offense intended here, I know you’re exaggerating) of what I wrote down below where society conditions guys to think that there’s always some other shoe about to drop with sex and that there’ll be all these negative consequences (losing your relationship, drama, losing your time, headaches etc etc).

    The notion that you can just have strings-free casual sexual relationships with multiple women who know you have those same relationships with other women besides them is like, not even a possibility to most guys. Even Naturals tend to get wrapped up in drama etc. PUAs are the only ones who really consciously approach creating these relationships efficiently and with as little long-term drama as possible and purposely figuring out how to keep them going for as long as possible (though some guys like the one night stand short-term stuff).

    And these relationships don’t even have to end bad. A lot of them end when the girl eventually meets some relationshippy guy and dates him for a bit (while fucking you and making him wait for sex lol) then decides he’s a good guy and vanishes to go pursue that. You just wish her the best of luck, hope she gets what she’s looking for, and move on to another girl. Sure you miss some of them here and there but it’s often really minimal drama overall and usually you can keep in touch anyway so down the road you can re-kindle things or just reach out to her to say hi sometime and catch up on life.


    • avd
      on January 1, 2013 at 11:13 pm
      Original Link

      “And these relationships don’t even have to end bad. A lot of them end when the girl eventually meets some relationshippy guy and dates him for a bit (while fucking you and making him wait for sex lol) then decides he’s a good guy and vanishes to go pursue that. You just wish her the best of luck, hope she gets what she’s looking for, and move on to another girl. Sure you miss some of them here and there but it’s often really minimal drama overall and usually you can keep in touch anyway so down the road you can re-kindle things or just reach out to her to say hi sometime and catch up on life.”

      Pretty much my experience with this caveat: “but it’s often really minimal drama overall and usually you can keep in touch anyway so down the road you can re-kindle things or just reach out to her to say hi sometime and catch up on life.”

      In my experience they always push the drama to the brink because they want children by me, and when they (finally finally finally) realize they’re not going to get it from me, they break off all ties and settle with a beta. In my twenties, they didn’t do that. In my thirties, they do. It’s sad, because I still love them the same, just not going to commit to an exclusive relationship with them.

      YR, any tips on keeping around girls who want your kiddos that are utterly crushed when they realize they aren’t going to have them? It sucks investing in all that intimacy and bonding, only to have them break clean out of heartache. Suggestions?


      • YaReally
        on January 2, 2013 at 8:12 pm
        Original Link

        “any tips on keeping around girls who want your kiddos that are utterly crushed when they realize they aren’t going to have them?”

        I didn’t give you a million dollars today…were you crushed by that? Nope. ‘Cause you weren’t expecting me to give you a million dollars today. You probably don’t even hate me or resent me and our relationship could stay the same.

        Now what if I told you, or hinted at, or simply allowed you to convince yourself that I was going to give you a million dollars today and you spent all month dreaming about it and how you’d spend it and how it’d feel to hold in your hands and all the ways your life would be amazing as soon as I give you that million dollars…and then today I don’t give you that million dollars. How much more disappointed would you be then? You’d probably resent me and it might even be too frustrating and disappointing after all that build-up in your head to even be around me anymore.

        In your 20s, they probably assumed you weren’t going to provide kids etc. because you’re still young and doing your thing. In your 30s, they probably assume you’re ready to start settling down because society tells us that men should be marrying and raising kids in our 30s so by default they assume it’s an option if they win you over.

        The best way to get around this is to completely take yourself off the table as a Provider. If you know I have no money, or I tell you I hate money etc., you aren’t going to assume I’m going to give you a million dollars someday. So in your 30s you kind of have to actively make them aware that this isn’t something you’re offering, willing, or able to provide.

        You could lie about it and say you’re unable to have kids or had a vasectomy but lies often lead to complicated webs down the road (“well then let’s not use a condom!” lol). You could be abrasive and make a note to point out “ugh, I hate kids” when you two see a little kid at a grocery store crying or whatever. You could tell girls that you had “a friend” who got fucked over by his wife and can’t see his kids and that you don’t want to go through any of that. You could tell women you have too much left to do with your life (build a business, travel goals, etc.) to let having kids slow you down. etc. etc.

        Basically you have to take the notion that it’s even a remote possibility that it could happen, completely off the table, and hold onto that frame with an iron grip no matter what she throws at you (and she WILL test you).

        This can be difficult to do because:

        1) you will probably lose some relationships that could’ve lasted longer if you had just swayed a little or let her believe in the hope just a tiny bit…the cure for this is fostering an abundance mentality instead of allowing the feeling of scarcity to make you cave (“oh no I’ll lose her if I say I hate kids, I’ll just say maybe someday down the road with the right girl I could consider it but not right now…that’ll be better, then I won’t lose her”)…if you let it cave you, you will continue getting this drama so it comes down to whether you’d rather lose a few girls here and there or keep dealing with this.

        2) she will test you HARD, for your whole relationship depending on how much she wants kids. There’ll be a lot of awkward moments where she “subtly” tries to get you to see her view and win you over and admit you secretly want kids someday etc. etc. She’ll try to avoid using condoms with you, she may even sabotage them depending on how crazy she is (don’t let her provide the condoms and put them on your dick yourself and always use brand new condoms…a few bucks for a box of condoms is better than 18 years of child support). Down the road she’ll probably cry and tell you you’re hurting her. Past that she may even get angry/violent with you. These are all like classic psychological reactions to not getting your way, similar to how the guy describes the way women will react when you punish them (about halfway through this video):

        That in itself can be a frustrating amount of drama to deal with in a relationship and you may have to start Soft/Hard Nexting your girls to train them out of shit-testing you about it all the time:

        http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?5492-How-To-Soft-Next-Step-by-step-instructions-and-answers-to-questions

        But wait, there’s good news!

        If you hold your frame rock-fucking-solid for long enough, congruently, through enough shit-tests (how many you have to pass varies depending on the woman), eventually the stronger frame wins and she’ll accept your frame and write you off as not someone who can/will provide her with kids. She may leave at this point, but more likely if you have a good sexual relationship, she’ll just shop around for a beta provider type to have kids with but still fuck you. She’s usually still attracted to you, nothing’s changed there, it’s just that her wiring says “okay there’s no blood to squeeze out of this stone, let’s move on for the sake of our biology”.

        Personally, I COULD actually see myself wanting kids someday, and even to raise them with a woman. There are some appealing things about the white-pickett fence lifestyle that as I get older, might appeal to me.

        BUT, for the sake of keeping my life and relationships drama-free, do I let women know this? Fuck no. I make sure to come across like I would never ever want those things. Down the road if I find a woman I want to do that stuff with I can always let her “win me over” and go for it. But I get much less hassle in my life if I don’t allow them any possibility of thinking I’m going to give them that million dollars someday.

        I learned this stuff first-hand by breaking a lot of very sweet relationship-quality girls’ hearts. I hate making women cry, coming off as too effed up for a serious relationship is better for both of us to me lol

        Good luck!

        P.S. Ignore NiteLily’s troll-baiting.



walawala
on January 1, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Original Link

Being a man with options aligns with one of the key criteria of “pre-selection” which is one of the 3 criteria of sparking attraction in women—the other 2 being “leader of men” and “protector of women and children”.

I think for newbies into game and those refining their own like me, the “man with options” concept needs to be calibrated. You can have them—how you communicate and sub-communicate that will determine your success.

If you’re seen to be over-gaming and being a player, that triggers a woman’s ASD and then plays into the hands of game haters.

But communicating inner confidence, being outcome independent are crucial.

As i now go into my third year of learning and understanding game, i end 2012 having banged 11 women, most under 30 and apart from one, all 7′s or above.

I’d love to see more posts and articles on improving inner game, and how to subcommunicate the “man with options” concept without over-gaming.


  • YaReally
    on January 1, 2013 at 7:35 pm
    Original Link

    Just want to say props on your progress dude! It’s been good to see your skills develop thru your posts. Keep it up in 2013! :)



YaReally
on January 1, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Original Link

Random shit as I enjoy the after-glow of my first new vag lay of 2013:

1) I wanted “The One” back before getting more than one was an option because it was SO outside my reality to be able to get a variety of women that I couldn’t even conceive of it. That was “other guys” or “those sleazy player assholes”. I would’ve answered 2-4 back in the day probably. Now the question itself makes me laugh like what in the world other answer could there be than infinite? lol how much free money do you want? how many days would you like to have 6-pack abs for? lol

2) it has nothing to do with the woman not being awesome as a person or keeping them all at a distance. She can be great and I can be in love with her and want to see her all the time and be all shmoopy and turn down other girls for her because i legitimately like her more and shit, but its like someone said, do you eat the same meal every single day? For the rest of your LIFE? Regardless of whether that meal is cooked badly some days or for years at a time?

Variety is nice. Both sexually (some girls like slow romantic sex, some are good hate-fucks, some love giving head, some like doing kinky shit, some have super sensitive clits and can only cum once and they’re toast, some can squirt for hours, etc) and physically (classy high-end socialite business chick, tattooed rocker badass chick, submissive Asian chick, loud obnoxious party girl, young naive virgin chicks, older milf chick who rocks your world in bed, etc). Unless I meet a girl who wears various wigs and outfits in bed, and also likes a massive massive variety of sex, and like, can speak in a bunch of different accents, I can’t see settling down with just one. And even then, it wouldn’t be as good because part of the lure of variety is the different personalities. How often do people cheat with someone who’s exactly like their significant other and how often do they cheat with someone who’s the total opposite or reminds them of how their S.O. *used* to be before they let themselves go in the relationship (bad boy asshole turned whipped beta, sexpot flirty girl turned fatty who hates her body, etc), ya know?

3) I think part of the answers is that most guys don’t realize that you can just fuck around and not date or make her your girlfriend or have it be a “thing” that takes any significant time or effort etc to keep going. So a guy thinks “well ya that playboy model chick is hot but dating them is a headache and my girl is no drama so nah I wouldn’t want her” because they’re picturing a serious relationship, instead of it being more like if that chick were just there, spreading her legs, begging you to fuck her, consequence-free with no strings attached, would you have a boner yes or no? Or replace that with whatever you like that gets you going. So the guys aren’t even in the right headspace to answer.

Take the chick I just sent off. We hooked up right away and she’s a cool chick, good lay and we have good flirty chemistry. But I made sure to lay the groundwork that i’m a casual fling guy to basically just txt when she’s horny or flirty and not a guy to escort her to things or invite her out to party or go for drinks or anything. I also made sure to feel out her views by being non-judgemental and sharing my own views first on sex, relationships, seriousness, clingyness, some of her dating and fucking history, etc so I screened her for red flags that would say she wanted me to be a serious relationship and with this one there aren’t any flags but even when there are, often you can work around them or delay them becoming an issue with proper Game.

So now to maintain this casual fuckbuddy setup with her, all I do is pop her a flirty txt once a week or so, or respond to hers here and there and flirt a bit. Then tell her to come over when it’s convenient for me, which can even be like 2am after I’m done partying with my friends and getting other girls’ numbers etc. She’ll show up done up all sexy (since she’s here to turn me on, not to go grocery shopping or some relationshippy stuff where she isn’t concerned with her appearances), we’ll fool around and both get off and she knows from the frame I set like I described before, that I’m not the guy to stay with overnight so a few minutes of cuddling after all the orgasms and she’s off heading home and I do whatever I want with the rest of my day/night.

And most guys will go “well that girl is just a slut. Anyone could bang her, she’s a whore not like the madonnas *I* date”

The thing is, a “normal” guy would meet her and treat her special and not plow through to the bang instantly (we had a “date” planned but I just pinned her against the wall and made out and we skipped that…gotta save $ when you’re poor lol). He’d take her on a date and set the frame of courting her and by setting that frame that she’s the prize, she’ll naturally fall into the frame that she’s the prize, so she’ll act more reserved with him, trying to live up to his vision of her, to not look like a slut.

That guy will wine and dine her for 3 dates and then try to kiss her and it’ll be wonderful and awesome like the movies and maybe she’ll fall in love and they’ll live happily ever after together…

…but he’ll have no idea how fast he could’ve moved if he understood Game. So when he answers the question of how many women, he’s picturing investing 3+ dates, months of a relationship developing, her getting clingy when he has to break it off, etc etc instead of how a PUA views the question where it’s “well I banged last night’s random girl again this morning when we woke up, then she went home and a fuckbuddy came over and brought me food and beer so my fridge and liquor are re-stocked for free and that’s convenient, and tonight I’ll get another new girl or run into a fuckbuddy when I’m out with my friends and let her drive me home when I’m done partying”. You could have mini-harems of 2-5 girls going for years switching new/old girls in and out of them without really having to invest anything but a few txts and orgasms lol. And if you just want sex once a week or so, or need to focus on work for a few months, or if you meet a cool girl abd want to settle with her as your Primary for a few years, that’s cool too, the girls will still be there and you’ll still have the option of hassle-free variety when you want it, when you have Game.


  • Andoronicus
    on January 1, 2013 at 9:56 pm
    Original Link

    What the hell is a “vag lay?” (I didn’t read the rest of it)


    • YaReally
      on January 1, 2013 at 10:34 pm
      Original Link

      Vag = short for vagina

      “New vag lay” = banging a new girl you’ve never fucked

      “Old vag lay” = banging a girlfriend or fuckbuddy

      Not PUA terminology, just what my buddies and I call them lol


      • avd
        on January 1, 2013 at 11:32 pm
        Original Link

        This is true.


        • YaReally
          on January 2, 2013 at 12:21 am
          Original Link

          We use it to make fun of eachother.

          “Ya I took a girl home Saturday and we banged”

          “New vag?”

          “Well we hooked up a couple times a few months ago…”

          “Wow. Awesome. Hey guess what!! Yesterday I kissed my girlfriend!!! Let me tell you the exciting story!!!”

          “lol fuck you.”

          It’s all in good fun between friends though lol

          Relevant HIMYM quotes:

          Barney: Which one of us has more game?
          Marshall: Neither one of you has any game, right? Or else you’d be married. Like me.
          Barney: What?
          Marshall: If dating is the game, then marriage is winning the game.
          Ted: If you’re playing in the women’s league.

          And:

          Marshall: I am not irrelevant!
          Ted: What?
          Marshall: I crunched the numbers. If Lily and I have been together ten years, we’ve had sex 1,053 times. That’s more times than Barney’s ever had sex and to your point Ted, Lily is a quality girl. I win! Lawyered.
          Barney: Doesn’t count.
          Marshall: It has to!
          Ted: It does. It counts as one time. You’ve had sex once. How was it?
          Marshall: …I still matter! :(

          lol on a side note, this kind of “bro bonding” and talking smack to eachother about getting laid was a totally foreign assholish concept to me when I was first starting to learn pickup and was one of the things where I had to learn “ohhhh it’s not actually being mean to eachother once you’re both confident enough to not attribute your self-worth to whether you got laid that weekend”. It took a while to realize its actually a form of respect, like “I can make fun of you for this because you seem confident enough at it that you won’t take my ribbing personally”. Mind was fucking blown when I pieced that together and suddenly realized half the AMOG assholes annoying me were actually good guys who just didn’t realize I was still in the “fake it” stage of fake it till you make it lol. Now a lot of them are good buddies of mine.


          • YaReally
            on January 2, 2013 at 8:16 pm
            Original Link

            @Revo

            Glad your relationship with your father has worked out. It really is like two sides of a coin when you finally understand male interaction that way. I legitimately thought a lot of guys were complete asshole shitty people because I completely didn’t understand the way they communicate or the reasoning behind it.

            I think there’s a market for a book on legit street-level male psychology, like applying PUA principles to interacting with other men and earning respect, handling AMOGs, father/son dynamics, etc. It’s stuff I could have used when I was a nerdy outcast in high school lol


  • caRIOca
    on January 2, 2013 at 6:19 am
    Original Link

    YaReally comments are as good as the posts in this blog. I´m not the one saying it: start your own blog man! no commitment to post frequently… but you have much to say, and you write very well!


    • anon
      on January 2, 2013 at 7:37 pm
      Original Link

      I think he already has a very large online presence of his own.

      Not sure why he uses a nom de plume when posting here.


      • YaReally
        on January 2, 2013 at 8:20 pm
        Original Link

        lol I’m not Tyler if that’s what you’re suggesting. :) But I bet he and I could have a fucking fascinating conversation about Game.

        No blog plans, it’s too time-consuming to make it readable. If there was some way to auto-post what I write, along with the threads it’s a part of, to a WordPress blog I’d give it a go, but when you take my posts completely out of context of both the discussions and articles they’re in, it’s all a pretty big disorganized jumble. Most of my writing is in response to things, not stand-alone article style.



Scray
on January 1, 2013 at 10:06 pm
Original Link

On the OP — yeah, I’m sure every male wants to bang hundreds of chicks, but even with game, most guys simply will never have that kind of choice. So, I mean…if you have a little white lie you tell yourself to get you through the day, it seems better than just realizing — every day — that you will never get what you want, regardless of what you do.

Update:

It’s been sort of rough. I’m still in that awkward phase of trying to build an identity, and for the most part it kind of sucks. I’ve noticed a lot of little things that irritate me. For instance, most of the time, I have to initiate everything — hang outs, conversations, etc. This obviously means I’m doing something wrong, but I still have yet to figure out what that -something- is. That -something- is important because I feel like it has to a lot to do with attraction, and that’s, unfortunately, what I believe my biggest sticking point is right now.


  • YaReally
    on January 1, 2013 at 11:47 pm
    Original Link

    “It’s been sort of rough. I’m still in that awkward phase of trying to build an identity, and for the most part it kind of sucks.”

    No lie: it’s going to suck for a while lol you’re doing a massive overhaul. I can’t even count how many awkward nights, conversations, approaches, social faux pas, bad miscalibrarions, embarrassing peacocking, massive shit-testing, etc I ran into my first few years when I was in that stage. There is no way to make it less shitty, but on the plus side this is the stage where you learn to find the silver lining in things and celebrate even tiny little minor victories like just putting on pants and going out to the bar, etc…because if you don’t dig into every nook and cranny to find SOMETHING to give yourself props over, the negative experiences will overwhelm you and you’ll quit.

    This is part of why a guy has to hit rock-bottom before he can get into pickup seriously, because the thought of living his life the way he’s been living it for his teens and adulthood has to be more painful than the thought of putting on pants and going out to embarrass himself and get shit on all night, week after week lol. It’s like someone working out because their doctor said if you don’t lose weight you will die in a month. Suddenly their imaginary thyroid problem they didn’t even get diagnosed vanishes and suddenly calories in vs calories out works for them when it was just a myth before and suddenly they find 2 hours a day to workout that they didn’t have before. :)

    A couple things you can try are to disassociate yourself from your results. Look at everything as a social experiment like you’re a scientist in a lab just running experiments and noting the results. The other thing is to drill into your head that you are not your results, people rejecting you or thinking you’re weird or tooling you is based on the vibe you’re projecting or the way you’re displaying yourself and not on who you are to the core as a person because they can’t see that yet…so it’s like you’re a beat up car with an amazing engine inside and you haven’t got it rigged up yet so all everyone you pass sees is the beat up car.

    These are kind of woo-woo concepts but I’m just throwing them out there because you never know what will click for someone. A bootcamp with the right people could help but I hate recommending guys spend $ on stuff that they can work on for free. It’s hard to say how you’d like having an instructor for a few days boss you around and even then all they can do is get you a glimpse of success and from there you’ll have to do the leg-work you’re doing now or you’ll end up as a “bootcamp didn’t magically fix all my problems what a scam!!” guy haha

    For what it’s worth, I still don’t think you’re at a hopeless point at all. You just have a sticking point to narrow down and fix right now. Field Reports (even unsuccessful ones, we call those OTs (an “outing”, went out but basically did nothing or maybe one approach but are generally bummed out…or made some observations people-watching), FRs (normal Field Report, some approaches but no makeouts or anything) and FUs (fuck-up reports lol where you just fail hardcore) are usually how we figure those out because when someone’s got like 10+ Field Reports up you can often notice consisten patterns in their actions that might be triggering their results.

    If you post up Field Reports of your frustrating interactions here, I’ll try to help. I always like reading FRs, reading other people’s FRs on a place like Sedfast (google it) helped me progress a lot because you get to see where other people succeed and fail and learn from their experience on top of your own. I had a lot of “oh shit girls keep saying that to me TOO!! And this other guy gave him some advice okay ill try that!” :)

    On the plus side, one of those silver linings to look at, is that at least you’re aware that you’re doing something wrong. Being aware of it means you can eventually fix it or work around it. That doesn’t help your results, you’re still going to bomb, but at least you can start figuring out a plan of action and work through it…you couldn’t do that if you we’re so socially inept and uncalibrated that you can’t tell there’s anything wrong. :) Tyler from RSD is fucking weird, even today, but he was one of the hardest-case fucked up socially awkward newbies and he KNOWS he’s fucking weird and even 10 years in he’s still trying to learn to be normal…but the important thing is that he has the self-awareness to know that he’s still weird and fucking up and putting people off.

    So you have some self-awareness and you can read social interactions and feel the vibe of how people treat you even if you don’t know how to fix it yet. That’s something to be proud of. Baby steps. :)

    Let’s take a look at it more in-depth tho:

    “For instance, most of the time, I have to initiate everything — hang outs, conversations, etc. This obviously means I’m doing something wrong, but I still have yet to figure out what that -something- is.”

    3 Qs for the sake of narrowing it down:

    1) Would you say that this is the case with your actual friends and main social circle as well as with people you approach when you’re out?

    2) Would you say that you’re approaching cold sets (totally random people you’ve never seen or met and who don’t know you or anyone you know) or warm sets (introduced to new people via your friends or social circle etc) and is this the case with warm sets as well as cold? (it’s cool if you mainly do warm approaches, no judgement here, we’re just narrowing down what’s up to diagnose your sticking point better)

    3) Would you say the people you’re having to chase around are higher value than you right now, similar value, or lower value? Like a hot girl or the fun out-going good-looking guys in your group, versus some fatty-fat or a shy quiet friend? Again not a judgement or anything, I’m just asking a fat person what their daily diet is like, you know?

    “That -something- is important because I feel like it has to a lot to do with attraction, and that’s, unfortunately, what I believe my biggest sticking point is right now.”

    My extremely loose diagnosis now would be simply that these people don’t see you as high-value enough to want to initiate with you yet. Brad Pitt doesn’t have to call around asking for movies he can be in, you know? So usually this is just an issue of value.

    But that doesn’t help you much in practical terms, does it? lol the good news is there are fixes that can give you an advantage. Like if your social circle sees you as low value, it might be better to go out solo or make new friends because then you aren’t constantly fighting the label of “our lame little buddy we let hang with us if he puts in the effort to chase us down”. On the flip side if your buddies all think you’re awesome and it’s just new people you meet that you have to chase around, then it’s likely a disconnect between how you act with your close friends VS new people which is usually an issue of entitlement and being stifled etc and that comes with its own set of shit to diagnose and worth through (like figuring out your runny nose is just a symptom of a bigger problem like the flu and then treating the flu instead of the runny nose).

    I’ll go into more when you answer the questions in this comment so I can narrow it down some more. :)

    Hang in there! Glad you’re still trying. For what it’s worth this (January-April) is the toughest time of year to pick up because its colder out so less girls go out, as a result there’s more male competition and fighting over the few available girls, and most girls got themselves a boyfriend for the winter so they have someone to take home for Xmas and kiss on NYE and be solidly in a relationship for valentine’s day and take home for Easter etc etc. like its a few months of “you’d better have a boyfriend and not fuck it up or you’re in for lonely/awkward holidays full of relatives asking why you’re still single etc” for girls along with a bunch of cold lonely depressing winter nights not cuddled up to a boyfriend. It can be really tough to even find “single” girls right now.

    This usually starts up around October right after they slut it up for Halloween…they go “time to find a man for thanksgiving/xmas!”. There’s a window right after V-Day where a lot of relationships break up though lol and once spring hits a lot of girls become single and on the prowl again. But after the NYE “last chance to find a man before Valentine’s Day” window shuts it can be a rough few months lol

    (people still get laid during this time it’s just like comparing a small-town pub to Vegas on spring break, you know? For you just getting a handle on this, it might be rough)

    On the plus side in your case you’re still working on the basics of approaching and running normal flirty fun social interactions so its not going to prevent you from working on that. Hell I’d even tell yourself you probably won’t get laid till spring as a way to sort of not beat yourself up about not pulling girls right now. Like focus on “I’m working on my social skills in general right now, all I expect by spring is to be able to approach and flirt a bit and not feel like I’m chasing all the time”.

    The pressure to get laid is huge, esp if you go out with buddies who are social and good looking and getting laid and it just confirms all the negative thought loops you get in your head. Like your buddy will go home with a girl this month and you’ll think “fuck, SEE YaReally?? You said it’s hard but my tall buddy took a girl home so it’s all about looks just like I thought!!” :)

    You’re playing a mental chess game with yourself through this journey, stuff like affirmations, viewing it as a social laboratory, even external stuff like having a game plan of “I’m going to say such and such to X number of sets tonight”, are all tricks PUAs use to try to win that chess game against our brain…until it figures out a way to put us back in Check and we have to come up with a new strategy. :)


  • YaReally
    on January 1, 2013 at 11:49 pm
    Original Link

    Incoming long-ass reply/breakdown with some Qs for you, check back in a couple days when it passes moderation!


    • Scray
      on January 2, 2013 at 2:24 pm
      Original Link

      My last full-on field report of sorts was here: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/12/21/were-gonna-need-a-bigger-hamster/#comment-398911

      “1) Would you say that this is the case with your actual friends and main social circle as well as with people you approach when you’re out?”

      I actually think that with people I cold approach, I’m good at presenting a good front and seeming high value. But, eventually, you have to actually -be- high value. So, thinking about it more, I guess that is something different than attraction.

      “2) Would you say that you’re approaching cold sets (totally random people you’ve never seen or met and who don’t know you or anyone you know) or warm sets (introduced to new people via your friends or social circle etc) and is this the case with warm sets as well as cold? (it’s cool if you mainly do warm approaches, no judgement here, we’re just narrowing down what’s up to diagnose your sticking point better)”

      Mainly I’m doing warm approaches — I’ve done a few cold approaches, but those are hard on my psyche.

      “3) Would you say the people you’re having to chase around are higher value than you right now, similar value, or lower value? Like a hot girl or the fun out-going good-looking guys in your group, versus some fatty-fat or a shy quiet friend? Again not a judgement or anything, I’m just asking a fat person what their daily diet is like, you know?”

      Hm. The people I have to chase around are probably objectively higher value. But I dunno, I’d rather hang on to the bottom rung of the cool kids group than be King of the Losers.


      • YaReally
        on January 3, 2013 at 12:06 am
        Original Link

        “My last full-on field report of sorts was here”

        Dropped a massive analysis for ya as a Reply to that comment, so check it out in a day or so when WordPress lets it show up. Awesome stuff man, you did better than you realize lol

        “I actually think that with people I cold approach, I’m good at presenting a good front and seeming high value.”

        Ya, this is actually why I asked the question. If your actual friends see you as low-value and you’re trying to “fake it till you make it”, it might actually be better for your progress to avoid your friends who still see you as “the little harmless guy in our group we let tag along” and instead start making friends with random dudes at the bar who will have no previous reference experience of who you are or what your personality or role or label is, and will only know you as what you present yourself (the “fake it” part) and will accept you as that guy. Sort of like how a character actor might foster a situation where he plays his role 24/7 to stay in character and really get into it, VS having to “turn off” his character every day at 5pm when the crew wraps up for the night or he goes on his noon lunch break out of character ording food at McDonald’s.

        This’ll be a judgement call on your end. You don’t have to decide today or anything, but pay attention to this stuff and ask yourself “are my friends trying to put me back into their label for me or are they accepting of this new me I’m trying to become?” now and then.

        In time you’ll become high-value, but if you’re trying to lose weight it helps to avoid going to wing night with your buddies who don’t really care about your goal and just want you to be “the fun guy who we have fun with at wing night”, you know?

        “Mainly I’m doing warm approaches — I’ve done a few cold approaches, but those are hard on my psyche.”

        lol all good. Like I say, we’re just diagnosing here. Because you have the height limiting-beliefs to overcome on top of just getting good with girls, and because you actually have ACCESS to social circles that go out and parties and shit, go ahead and stick to warm approaches for a while. For me, I had moved to a new city where I didn’t know anyone, so warm approaches weren’t even possible when I started out…literally my only option was going out solo and cold approaching. I actually enjoy that, but it’s a huge challenge and rough on the psyche like you say, and I’ve got enough experience now that I know how to keep it from de-motivating me. Right now we want you transitioning into this smoothly so don’t feel like you’re not doing “real” game by doing warm sets etc. Down the road you’ll start going out with friends and have some warm sets going and just feel in a good state and naturally approach some randoms here and there. No rush. :)

        “Hm. The people I have to chase around are probably objectively higher value. But I dunno, I’d rather hang on to the bottom rung of the cool kids group than be King of the Losers.”

        Right, no, this isn’t a bad mentality or anything…girls judge you by your friends, especially at a bar where it’s like “that guy’s hot, but my friend would have to fuck his weirdo loser buddy and that’s so not going to happen” when you approach and they can just blow you off.

        But 1) if your friends hold you back and try to keep you in your bottom-rung label, then it’s a problem, and 2) a lot of the “losers” at the bar are actually decent dudes who are just having a shy night or whatever, or they have cooler friends that you get in with, etc. so it’s not like you’re befriending the guys from The Big Bang lol Pick guys who look cool (good looking, good style, etc.) but who are standing around kind of quiet/nervous…then even if the guy is kind of lame, he LOOKS cool so girls will be receptive to you two lol

        Again, this is all stuff to play by ear and watch out for. You’re in a good spot because you have social circles and parties and all that, so keep doing what you’re doing. If you were a harder case like some guys, I’d have some different advice but there’s no need to bog you down with it. :)


        • Scray
          on January 3, 2013 at 3:43 pm
          Original Link

          ‘This’ll be a judgement call on your end. You don’t have to decide today or anything, but pay attention to this stuff and ask yourself “are my friends trying to put me back into their label for me or are they accepting of this new me I’m trying to become?” now and then.’

          I have no idea how to accurately convey this…but I kind of get the feeling that a lot in the group are waiting for me to become cooler, if that makes any sense. Well…so, what happened is that a few years ago, single me and one other person — still probably my best friend in the group — pretty much put together the group through several drunken hangouts. Then, I got into a relationship, so I’ve kind of been out of it for the last two years. Now, these last four months I’ve slowly drifted back. So….thinking about it, I might just be rejoining still. Anyway, long story short, I don’t think they’d object to me being more awesome or banging bitches or acting more dominant or whatever. That said, when I do some legit awkward shit — which I’m sure is going to happen — I’m sure I’ll get called out on it, but it won’t mean anything the next day.

          Okay, so I’m going out this weekend. Whole night of sarging. Me and another friend, who also wants to improve his lot with womenz, are going to a bar, splitting up for a few hours, and doing what we can. I’ll probably leave a FR here.

          Also…
          yeah, I haven’t even talked to kinda-crush or her friend from the last FR. All right, see ya then.


          • YaReally
            on January 3, 2013 at 6:14 pm
            Original Link

            Good stuff. You’re probably not imagining the waiting for you thing, given that history and how social your friends sound. It sounds like you have a pretty supportive environment in general, so that’ll help you. Usually guys start out from either no social circles or really poisonous ones which is why I keep stressing to watch for it, but it sounds like you’ll be fine hanging with them. And you have a buddy who wants to go out and work on his game at all, that’s a huge benefit, you can encourage eachother and shit.

            Swipe some games/challenges off Keys to the VIP to keep your night fun and playful and not a serious life or death mission.

            A few PUA games are to give your friend $100 and he gives you $20 back for each approach you do. Or no drinking your next beer till you open a set…so if you pussy out and buy one without opening it’ll get warm and shitty and that’s your punishment (this game saves $ too lol). Or you have 30 seconds to approach ANYONE doesn’t matter who, or your friend punches you in the arm. Or you only get 30 steps before you have to open so if you get to 30 you’re stuck there till you open.

            It’s all just ways of keeping shit fun out there. Remember not to base your self-worth on your results, just dick around and focus on escalating and setting a dominant sexual frame

            Good luck! Massive props for going out! :D