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Women Want To Be With Men Less Physically Attractive Than They Are

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via Heartiste

yareallypua
on May 31, 2012 at 7:33 pm
Original Link

To see good-looking guys hooking up with uggos just watch the 2am “any port in a storm” rush at a nightclub lol good-lookin dudes hitting on disgusting shit, it’s hilarious and depressing.

The Misc and Relationship forums at bodybuilding.com are a good read. Those guys are all retardedly good looking, but you get a good look into how many average-guy girl problems they run into and how they find the same shit out that PUAs already know (good-looking guy standing around doesn’t get attention if a guy with game is there, good-looking guys get some freebies but most of them fuck it up, good-looking guys expect their looks to do all the work and don’t learn game, good-looking guys bang ugly-to-average chicks cause they’re just as insecure and scared to approach the turbo hotties as the average guy is, etc)

I’ve found that often girls will land an attractive guy and then actively try to uglify him lol it seems to be subconscious on their part but they’ll get him eating fatty unhealthy meals (cooking or at restaurants), let him go lax on his grooming (“I like you scruffy!”), guilt-trip him for going to the gym instead of hanging out and watching TV with her, tell him they like when he’s dressed casual (aka slobby) etc. It also let’s them slack off and let themselves go cause once their guy is worse off than them “I don’t have to run faster than the bear, I just have to run faster than YOU.”

I’d say the above girls tend to be low self esteem tho, which doesn’t really correlate to how a girl looks (thus the horror that is the fatkini, or the reverse a smokin hottie who hates herself).


  • yareallypua
    on May 31, 2012 at 8:08 pm
    Original Link

    Also I’m currently in a super metro-sexual city. In most of the nightclubs here the guys are all P90x’ed up, tanned, groomed and tweezed, $60 haircuts every 2 weeks, stylin expensive clothes and accessories, etc. on any given night in a nightclub probably 80% of the guys are a 9 or 10 out of 10 looks-wise (no homo lol).

    I make friends with them all the time and see the same shit over and over:

    - they go home alone and confused that girls didn’t want them

    - they go home alone and brag that none of the girls were good enough for their standards (which is usually bullshit lol)

    - they go home with super ugly girls once their buddies have all left and no one is there to judge them and then they say she was “okay looking, nothing amazing”

    - they go home with ugly to average girls who are super aggressive and make all the moves and they just go along with it because they don’t have a clue how to actually approach girls

    - they go home with average girls in their social circle

    - girls approach them but they fuck it up either really fast by being idiots at the start or real slow by not escalating when the window is there and they lose the girl

    - they’re super happy to get a hot girl’s phone number and are surprised when it flakes

    - they get super hammered trying to chug liquid courage and bomb from there because the really hot chicks tend to be pretty sober and are disappointed at how drunk the guy had to get to talk to her

    That’s most of them. Now there ARE super smokin hot girls on hot guys’ arms at the clubs. Here’s generally why that happens:

    - they’re in the same social circle so it’s pure fluke but the guy stumbled ass-backwards into having a leg up on the competition

    - the guy is rich as shit and got bottle service and pretty much bribed the girls to hang out with him. You can spot these ones because usually 1) the guy is making a big deal of him buying them drinks (waving around money, pulling out wads of $50s, being loud and obnoxious “what’ll you have ladies?”, he’ll often buy the guys in the group or any friendly guys drinks too, to try to be the alpha dawg), and 2) the girls sit with him at his booth at the start but after a while and enough drinks their eyes start wandering and by 2am the girls are strutting around looking to get picked up while the guy is alone and holding his dick in his booth lol, but he still has his awesome ace up the sleeve aka The After-Party at his “mansion” (no one has an actual mansion here, they’re just huge brand new super nice expensive houses full of expensive stuff) which can rally a few girls up and he has one last shot at nailing one.

    - she’s his actual girlfriend and they are super-tight and she has no interest in any other guys. Usually in this situ if you ignore the guy’s looks and observe his behavior you’ll find he’s got a lot of alpha game traits (social proof, loud voice, leader of men, etc)

    - they’re swingers (lol, seriously. This is more in the 30+ crowd tho)

    - she didn’t get approached by a guy with game so she’s settling for the super hot guy who’s usually a tool and qualifying himself and being a dancing monkey trying to keep her interest while she blabs on the phone to her GFs or makes him buy her 2am food etc. she’ll sometimes bang him once they get home but often she’ll feign being too tired, too drunk, having drama, etc and sleep alone because sleeping alone is better to her than putting up all night/morning with a retarded dancing monkey who will probably get all clingy.

    - the girl makes all the moves on the guy all the way to the bedroom cause she’s decided she likes his look and he’s not a complete social retard even without any game. This is the most common “actually going to have sex later” coupling you’ll see, next to the BF/GF couple (the guy with bottle service is what you’ll see the most but like I said those ones often aren’t actually going to fuck)

    - the girls are coke heads or semi-whorish and basically sell themselves for coke or money. Those girls you CAN take away in isolation, but they won’t burn the bridge with that guy in public because they need their relationship with him. Often those guys will even be nice cool dudes, but they fell into the cycle of needing to bribe girls to hang with them…and it works for them, so wtf do they care lol. Long as they can still provide drugs/money they’re in heaven and usually don’t care that the girl wouldn’t be with them if it weren’t for that stuff.

    - the guy is her pimp lol but even then pimps tend to be ugly (but super alpha)

    - the guy is important, either he’s a bar manager/owner, head bouncer, etc. basically a guy who, in that scene, has a lot of pull. Often those guys aren’t even interested in the girls (they know the girls are using them) and some of the girls will put out but a lot just flirt to get free drinks, skip lines, network with important people, etc.

    On a side note, if you watch for it you’ll notice that the super smokin turbo hot girls often don’t drink very much if at all. They work hard to build their reputations in the nightlife scene so they don’t want to flush it down the toilet by getting shitfaced and falling all over the dance floor or going home with a lame guy at 2am. Often the smokin turbo hot girls will leave by 1am and have only had a few drinks thru the night.

    Remember that when you’re at the bar thinking “I’ll just down one more shot, THEN I’ll approach…”. Your reeking of alcohol and slurring your words automatically puts you below her status-wise.

    A few drinks is fine, obviously, but keep your wits about you.


    • yareallypua
      on June 1, 2012 at 12:44 am
      Original Link

      Fuck it, here’s some more info just ’cause I heart you all and like to hear myself talk.

      I’m like 5’9″, chubby, hairy, have no car, no place of my own, and I’m poor as fuck. So I’ve had to compete against these “10/10 guys” for years and have had to learn to hold my own. That said, here’s how to take girls from each of the “hot girl and hot guy” scenarios I listed above from top to bottom:

      1) “stumbled into the same social circle”

      Befriend him first, get him to qualify himself to you and/or think you’re cool, then switch to the girl. Usually this guy isn’t high self-esteem and he’ll just fade off into the background…he knew he didn’t really deserve that chick, he just stumbled into it so he backs off because he’s like “hey haha it’s cool, I knew that was impossible from the start!” He won’t really get angry or anything because he wished he had dibs but he knew he didn’t really. If she’s really into him for some reason (ie – they’ve both been in the social circle for a while so she’s already heavily into him (VS having just met that night)), it’s a no-go.

      2) “bottles & models douche”

      These guys are my favorite. Understand that the entire reason they’re doing what they do (making it rain and shit) is because they’re insecure and overcompensating, and they’re stuck in the paradigm that money attracts women. They’re basically the Nice Guy if you gave him unlimited money and fed his brain a bunch of episodes of Jersey Shore social conditioning. So you just use that against him:

      Start up a conversation with him directly. Complimenting the quality of his girls is a good one, “wow bro nice work. How’d you get so many hot girls around you? I came here with GUYS lol fuck MY life hey” ’cause it feeds his ego so he’s receptive. Often he’ll end up introducing his girls to you just to show off what a pimp he is, which is his mistake. :) Another way is to catch him when he’s solo (which’ll be rare) and run short-set (make a comment and wander off) and do that a few times till you guys are cheersing eachother…that’s slower and relies more on opportunity though.

      Another way is to start chatting with one of the chicks in his group. He’ll inevitably come over to “What’s up bro!” you and claim his territory so you don’t thieve one of his girls away. He’ll probably throw his arm around the girl and act like they’re together, but watch her body language for whether to believe that or not. Pro-tip: 99.9% of the time with these guys they’re not together…a GF isn’t gonna let him bring out a bunch of slutty chicks and buy them drinks all night lol

      BUT, understand that for her she’s struck oil with him. It’s just raining money on her as long as he likes her, so she won’t really do anything to show that she’s NOT his GF. She’ll just play along quietly and hope you figure it out. Most of the time she barely likes the guy or likes him as a friend but thinks he’s try-hard, but if I had a fat chick who’d bring me out and buy me drinks and drive me around in limos and fly my buddies and I to Paris for the weekend for free, I wouldn’t burn that bridge down either. :)

      So the trick here is two-fold:

      1st – Just be cooler than him. Don’t try as hard, don’t flash money around, don’t try to compete with that external shit, you won’t win. Chat him up, ignore the girl, get him qualifying himself to you, get him liking you, etc. The girls know that whoever’s reacting more is the beta in an interaction so you just want him to try to impress you a bunch in front of her, while you verbally SAY you’re impressed, but your body language just doesn’t really give a shit. This snowballs because the more the guy thinks he’s impressing you, the more he’ll keep doing it, and he THINKS that means the girl will be more attracted to him but she actually gains attraction for you because if this guy with the wad of $50s is trying to impress you, then who the fuck are YOU??

      Also you can usually get free drinks out of these guys lol They love to throw money around so if you’re chill and cool with him and unimpressed by his external shit, he ends up getting insecure and panicking and tries to assert his alphaness by going “Lemme buy you a shot bro!” or “What’re you drinkin bro?” or he’ll include you when he rallies the group up for shots next round, etc. Take the drink, fuck ya, that’s a win right there when you’re poor lol Again this is a move he thinks makes you look like his bitch, but as long as you hold the frame of “cool, thanks man.” like you just EXPECT people to buy you drinks because you’re that important and cool, you actually come out on top.

      If you have a girl off to the side a bit you can even drop a “Your boyfriend is very generous.” which’ll get the “ohhh he’s not my boyfriend, no no” response and now you have the green light and nothing he says or does to try to keep you away from that girl should even register in your mind because he’s completely insignificant to you now. His own AMOG’ing move just tanked his shot with that girl. :)

      2nd – Look for a chance to isolate the girl. She doesn’t want to shit on this guy because he gives her all this cool shit, so she won’t snub him in person and she won’t blatantly make out with you or go home with you around him. A good method is to drop in early in the night like I described above, then bail to chill with your friends or talk to other sets, and just keep an eye on the set. Like I described before, at the start of the night these girls will hang off his arm and chill in his bottle area because hey, free drinks and shit. But as the night goes on their eyes will start to wander, then their body language will start to wander, then they’ll girl-code with eachother about wanting to get away from there and go get hit on, then they’ll start leaving his area. THAT’S the time you want to re-approach.

      Ideally you want to either get her number covertly, or if you’re good with logistics, figure out a way to get her the fuck out of the place with you, without anyone seeing or worrying about her. Logistics-wise it helps to figure out which people in that group know her well so you know if half the group would look for her worried, or if she’d just have to shoot a txt to a girlfriend who also picked up, or if she could just wander off and no one would notice. Once you have her alone, it’s all good. Even a crowded dance floor could be good for escalating to makeouts and shit.

      The problem with this is even if you play that all dead on, if the girl is still in the club at last call, you have to be prepared for the “Afterparty at my mansion!!” move. It’s like in a videogame where the boss throws his one last super-move before he dies lol The draw to hang out at “a mansion party” is pretty strong for a lot of girls, so you can lose her right here. Fortunately those parties are always super gay (how many times have you been to a house party expecting it to be like American Pie and ending up super disappointed when it’s not like that at ALL? It’s usually just Bottle Guy and some of his douche friends who think they’re all going to get laid but they invite too many girls and fuck themselves over with the girls all getting ASD lol), so if you have her # be sure to txt her like 3am-ish because odds are she’ll be bored with the party and not be wanting to crash on a couch or with any of the guys there, and she can be receptive to meeting up with you for food or just cabbing right to your place just to escape the lameness of that party.

      Now if you were a cool guy and made friends with the dude, and you make sure he’s set up with a girl so he’s not chasing the girl you have a connection with, you’re in a good spot, ’cause he’ll invite you to the mansion party since you’re occupying one of the friends for him. TOTALLY accept this invite if you end up in this situation lol You usually end up with hilarious stories out of it. I’ve been given hot tub access and swank guest rooms and shit to hook up with my girl in just ’cause I went along with one of these guys.

      This is a complicated scenario with a LOT of elements to juggle, but it’s really fun to do because you get to practice really subtle AMOG’ing and you get to see first-hand how money, looks, game, etc. actually affect attraction. Plus you often score free drinks lol

      3) “actual girlfriend”

      No-go. Main type of girls who don’t respond to game are girls who are 100% satisfied with their man. That’s why I say you can usually spot alpha behaviors to go along with his looks, because he’s not good-looking at a douche, he’s good-looking and a cool guy. There’s nothing for her to look for other guys to provide her. But these couples are usually just cool out-going people in general and will introduce you to their friends so that’s fun.

      4) “swingers”

      lol just be cool to both of them. They’ll buy you drinks and invite you over. This situation can lead to either a 3-some (careful, some guys/girls will want you to touch the dude’s peener eww, but some couples just want the chick to get boned by two guys at one no gay shit involved aside from seeing eachother naked and being in the same holes after eachother, again eww), or a cuckold situation where you bang the wife while the guy listens from another room, watches, or isn’t involved at all and just knows “it happened”.

      This ain’t my thing, I don’t like being around other naked dudes even if we’re spit-roasting a really hot chick. Too weird to me. But I’ve had these opportunities enough times to know how they work lol The only one I would do is the cuckold scenario but even then you’re going home with two complete strangers and one’s a guy, so you could end up drugged, out-muscled, etc. and just end up in trouble. If you do this make sure you tell a buddy and have your GPS on and shit so they can find you if you end up in trouble. Most swingers will understand your wanting to be cautious as long as you approach it as just a “you understand, I’m sure :) ” safety precaution.

      5) “settling girl”

      These are the EASIEST girls to take off guys lol Because they’re DYING to get taken off them. You’re the guy who’s rescuing her from a night of shitty lame akwardness. You need more game than the other guy has but usually he doesn’t have much and all his shit is hitting a blank wall with her because she’s just regretting the next few hours of her life in advance lol These girls are super receptive to being swept away, it’s hilarious.

      The flip-side though, is that these are the guys who will get the most angry about it. In their mind they “totally almost had her” and you’re the asshole that fucked it up. These guys will VERY blatantly try to AMOG/tool you in front of the girl because they KNOW they’re hanging onto her by just a thread and they NEED you to go away because they know if they can just keep every other guy away and stick it out they might have a chance at getting laid.

      Some of these guys will get aggressive and in-your-face, but honestly that’s rare. Most of them will just try to tool you verbally, make fun of your hair, clothes, the fact that you don’t have girls with you, your accent if you have one, etc. etc. Some will try to befriend you but in that “I’m just doing this to make you go away” way.

      The catch is that none of that will work because the girl is already not really interested in him. Now this results in two scenarios:

      Scenario 1 – You get sucked into his frame and start answering his questions or trying to one-up his “witty” comebacks or trying to engage him in any way at all like he’s significant or relevant to you. This brings you down to his level (whoever reacts to the other guy more, remember…engaging him is reacting) and the girl loses attraction for BOTH of you. You’ll end up going back and forth with him in a briliantly witty “yo momma!” session and then both of you look around and realize the girl left because she was like “fuck this” and wanted no part of whoever “won” that exchange lol

      Needless to say, you don’t want to fall into Scenario 1. :P

      Scenario 2 – You ignore the guy COMPLETELY. He doesn’t exist. Any insults he makes, or questions he asks, or comments he makes on your attempts to hit on his girl, you don’t hear any of that, it doesn’t register at all on your radar. You focus 100% on the girl, lock eye contact, and speak DIRECTLY to her, as if it was just you two one-on-one. This is a good time to actually tone things down…while the AMOG guy is going “HEY BRO! WHERE YOU FROM BRO??” trying to drown out what you’re saying, you’re locked eye to eye with your girl and casually nice and chill saying “You guys were at BlahBar tonight hey. Looks like it was super-fun (sarcasm)…” and girl-code her that the guy is a loser, etc. etc. like you understand her situation, and then just invite her to come with you from there. She doesn’t give a shit about the guy she was just settling for so she’ll drop him cold lol

      Once you HAVE his girl (or girls, often these guys will come in a group of two girls and one dude trying to get with one of the girls), he goes apeshit lol BUT, there’s nothing he can do to get the girl at this point. You want to just get her the fuck out of there ASAP so you get away from him. He can threaten you, yell at you, call the girls sluts, etc. etc. and it just won’t affect what you’re doing at all because the girls have chosen you over him. It’s REALLY frustrating for him because he can’t stop the rolling boulder that just plowed through his chances.

      Don’t do this one if you don’t like confrontation. If you don’t handle it solid, it can lead to a fist-fight or getting jumped by a gang of the guy’s buddies outside, especially with alcohol involved.

      6) “she makes all the moves”

      No-go. She’s decided it’s him tonight. Don’t even bother getting involved ’cause you’ll fuck him up by distracting him from a done deal, and she’ll hate you because it’s like she’s coaxing a kid across the street and inch at a time frustratingly, and then you pop in with balloons and candy going “HEY LOOKIT ME KID WOOO!!!!” and the kid veers off to the side lol

      7) “coke heads”

      This is similar to the bottle guy but in general I don’t get involved with these girls. Ya, they’re hot, but they come with so much baggage and crazy in general that it’s not worth the effort. Plus these girls seem “dirtier” to me and more like I’d catch something since they’re possibly fucking drug dealers who it’s safe to assume are fucking pretty much any coke-head that wants to suck their dick for coke. Just eww.

      Taking the girls off him is hard as hell too because he’s not offering them “making you laugh”. He’s offering them “the drugs that make you able to survive your shitty life full of self-loathing and low self-esteem hate, that you will go into painful withdrawl if you don’t get tonight”, so it’s like, you’re not gonna’ one-up that lol At best you’ll end up with a coke-head chick who’s ACTUALLY coked up when you’re taking her home…that’s a shitty situation, I know from experience lol

      8) “he’s her pimp”

      lol get out your wallet. There’s other ways and there are guys who get strippers to give them free head during a dance or prostitues to bang them for free etc. (I know some of these guys) but just like, go find girls that don’t come with all that crazy shit. You’re an attractive guy, there are better girls and paying for sex doesn’t impress anyone lol

      9) “important guy”

      This is similar to the Bottle Douche guy, except that these guys are SUPER cool and friendly. Managers, promoters, etc. they know the score and they want everyone to enjoy their club. Make friends with these guys and they’ll ntroduce you to their girls, they don’t care about bragging in front of you or calling dibs on every girl that talks to them, they want everyone to get laid ’cause that means more repeat customers coming in and blowing $ in their club. These guys are awesome and you should approach them with no ulterior motive in mind, ’cause they’re surrounded by super fake douches (guys and girls) all the time (who they DO buy drinks and stuff for, but just don’t give a shit about) so they really appreciate an authentic person who’s not trying to impress them or get anything out of them.

      These guys usually aren’t interested in fucking the girls that run up to them to hug them and say hi, and these guys are usually busy having to run around doing “the rounds” so they don’t stay in one spot long, which means if you’re around one when some girls who know him approach him and he introduces you to them then walks off to “check on shit” or “say hi to someone”…how awesome a position are you in NOW? :) Exactly. NEVER AMOG OR TOOL THESE GUYS, they are your friends…that’s their JOB lol

      __________

      That all said, I don’t really do a lot of this these days. Pretty much every PUA, when they discover AMOG’ing tactics and BF Destroyers, goes through a phase where they’ve basically been given superpowers and they go “fuck YA!! Revenge time assholes!!!” and use their powers for evil lol I did this for a few years and ultimately it was a pretty negative headspace. It WORKED, but that doesn’t make it a cool way to interact with people.

      Now I just keep the skills in reserve for very specific situations, like if a guy is a total douche to me completely unprovoked I’ll do it to teach him a lesson, or if I’m so madly into a girl that I NEED this specific one and have to take her from a guy…but that doesn’t happen very often because I have abundance, I know I can get other girls, and I feel compassion for the other dudes ’cause I know for a lot of them getting that girl is like winning the lottery and I don’t need to be the guy who snatches their lottery ticket out of their hand and rips it in half.

      But ya, all this shit I’m writing is based on experience. Don’t tell me it’s faulty or doesn’t work or give me that stupid “no way, my MMA buddy would fucking uppercut you TO THE MOON if you even DARED to try that shit with HIS girls” bullshit if you’re not out in nightclubs taking girls off these guys regularly. :P


      • Balls Walls
        on June 1, 2012 at 9:47 am
        Original Link

        “Also you can usually get free drinks out of these guys lol They love to throw money around so if you’re chill and cool with him and unimpressed by his external shit, he ends up getting insecure and panicking and tries to assert his alphaness by going “Lemme buy you a shot bro!” or “What’re you drinkin bro?” or he’ll include you when he rallies the group up for shots next round, etc. Take the drink, fuck ya, that’s a win right there”

        Eh. Insecure POO-AH bullshit.

        If a guy is being friendly and buying drinks, so what? A guy with bottle service draws lots of girls. Be chill, be friendly, join the party. He’ll get his share, you’ll get yours.

        You’ve got a real NEGATIVE attitude. No wonder you’re “poor”.

        Be a Value Giver, not a Value Taker.


        • yareallypua
          on June 1, 2012 at 12:14 pm
          Original Link

          “If a guy is being friendly and buying drinks, so what?”

          There are two types of guys buying drinks: the ones being legit and cool and friendly, and the ones doing it for validation and to big-up themselves and seek everyone’s approval. Just like ANYTHING you do in pickup, whether it’s buying the girl a drink or escalating on her. It can either come from an approval-seeking frame or not.

          The bottle douche who tries to tool you in front of his girls is coming from the validation frame. The nice guy who’s just being a friendly dude isn’t.

          The way to tell the difference is through developing social calibration and learning to read the really subtle sub-communications going on under the surface of the interaction.

          …or, you know, laugh it off as poo-ah BS and lump everything together and just stumble around in the dark till you “get lucky”. That gets you laid too. But it doesn’t mean those sub-communications aren’t still going on, whether you acknowledge them or not.


      • Marellus
        on June 1, 2012 at 11:15 am
        Original Link

        YareallyPUA, where can you get more info on AMOG tactics ?


      • yareallypua
        on June 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm
        Original Link

        At 25:30 he starts telling a story where he uses some of the stuff I’m describing. The girl he goes for is with the club manager and he does the chatting-with-him thing and the guy buys him a drink etc then he takes the girl.

        It’s funny to me that Tyler keeps mentioning “fuck I’m such a dick that was such a mean thing to do :D ” because that’s how I feel now. Like I say I can DO this stuff, it works great, but if the guy is a nice normal dude it’s like Kramer joining the children’s karate class in Seinfeld. It’s such overkill that I actually feel bad doing it even tho it works.

        …unless like I say, the guy is being a dickhead for no reason or I reeeeeally want the girl. Then fuck it. :) But again, both of those cases are pretty rare.

        (this stuff doesn’t get talked about much these days because there’s too many uncalibrated retard “don’t think for themselves” newbies in the game now so if you give them info like this they go out and get their asses kicked because they don’t even have the basics down and don’t properly train to HAVE them down before they attempt stuff like this that sounds like “ooo now I can get revenge on all those jocks who took girls from me all my life!!!!”. PUAs don’t have that “dark triad” bullshit distinction the manosphere made up to avoid the social pressure of judgement for using game and to keep clinging to the Nice Guy label, to us it’s a given that you can use the knowledge for good or evil but that good and evil as concepts are gray areas to begin with. Part of why I like Heartiste is that the articles here don’t sugarcoat this shit trying to appeal to the masses the way a lot of new “we don’t teach men how to get pussy, no that would be evil, we just teach men how to improve their lives” gurus do these days. Nothing against those guys, general life improvement rules and business is business, but it’s refreshing to read articles that cut through all the bullshit “don’t label me a bad guy please????” sugar-coating a lot of the manosphere and new generation of pickup blogs has)


    • Heero
      on June 1, 2012 at 2:09 pm
      Original Link

      Are you saying that the G Manifesto would be the one to go back home alone if he used his usually strategy of bringing a bottle of wine, money flash and custom suit game ???


      • yareallypua
        on June 1, 2012 at 4:28 pm
        Original Link

        lol

        Comes down to game. A guy with game getting bottle service isn’t the same as an insecure guy trapped in the “Matrix” getting bottle service.

        Again it’s like buying a girl a drink. A newbie doing it is coming from a needy insecure place whereas a cool alpha guy with game doing it is coming from a value-giving place. If you want to be really socially adept, you have to learn to spot the difference between the two at a glance…which just comes down to reading body language, voice tone, how people are reacting to them, even shit-testing them (lol) etc.

        …the exact same way a girl does all that to look for the exact same thing in a guy. See how it all comes full-circle there lol

        Seriously tho, if a guy turns out to be cool and legit friendly and social and his girls are there because he’s a fun guy and not because he’s buying everyone’s attention, he becomes number 9 in that list, like a club manager or promoter, you just be friendly to him and like Balls Walls said, “be chill, friendly, and join the party.”



Cyrus
on June 1, 2012 at 5:51 am
Original Link

Heartiste,

I’ll agree with you that the women who go for *ONLY* hot guys are quite masculinized – I’ve experienced this myself, firsthand. It was these girls who actually got me out into the dating market as I was shy early on.

But I disagree with the entire thesis of this post. I chronically date women below my level in looks. These girls are cute, but I have pristine looks. I end up staying with the 6s and 7s because they are constant ego validations. When every 5 minutes a girl is admiring some aspect about you, and they’re pretty cute, its pretty hard to look for more attractive, even though they’re around.

The ego-boosting compounds on itself when her FRIENDS are also mirin.


  • yareallypua
    on June 1, 2012 at 12:24 pm
    Original Link

    You’re basing your worth on external validation. That road’ll get tricky later.



Simon Corso
on June 1, 2012 at 7:56 am
Original Link

Well , I don’t want to hook up with women who are less attractive than me, but when you’re as freakin’ sexy as I am you just have to learn to settle.

*smirk *



Rollo Tomassi
on June 1, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Original Link

I’m still waiting for someone to link me to the dating site that caters exclusively to in-shape fitness conscious women which connects them expressly to their preference for out of shape, chubby men.

And I’m still curious as to why dating profiles with pictures of guys flashing washboard abs statistically generate more female responses.

Actually I already know why; because the women’s physical standards for masculine beauty hasn’t changed in five thousand years.

This may come as a shock to the “men have impossibly high beauty standards” gnashing of feminist teeth, but it is in fact women who have a much higher standard for an idealized male physique.

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/15/womens-physical-standards/


  • yareallypua
    on June 1, 2012 at 5:00 pm
    Original Link

    “I’m still waiting for someone to link me to the dating site that caters exclusively to in-shape fitness conscious women which connects them expressly to their preference for out of shape, chubby men.”

    I’ll link you to it as soon as dating sites come up with a way to allow men to demonstrate social proof, pre-selection, leadership of men, frame control, voice tonality, dominance, good body-language, physical leading, etc. (Facebook can actually demonstrate social proof and pre-selection lol I used to play with that but now I don’t use FB)

    This is why using dating sites is retarded if you’re not super good-looking. All a woman can judge you on is your looks. I told my 5’3″ buddy to not even bother with those sites cause he will get filtered out by every chick searching profiles just because of his height since it the girl consciously choosing what she wants (if there were a box to filter only for Nice Guys she’d checkmark that box too even tho we all know that’s BS). Whereas in real life he can get laid, even by those SAME chicks, because he can demonstrate all those other things that are actually relevant to attraction.



Overheard On The Street

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 30, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Original Link

How come EVERYONE with ANY job can’t just be a millionaire?? Why does it have to be so hard and require any sort of work, skill, or effort to be good enough at something to get the few high-paying jobs everyone else wants?? It sucks! I should just move somewhere where my money is worth more so that instead of actually being good at something and being a successful competitor, I can just pretend to be a millionaire and tell myself I’m awesome.

Nothing wrong with playing T-Ball, as long as you know you aren’t playing real Baseball. Plenty of hot feminine chicks here, quit going home with fatties and you’ll see them lol



Justin Wayne: Direct And Indirect Street Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 24, 2012 at 7:51 pm
Original Link

Indirect VS Direct and why it doesn’t matter as long as you’re congruent and have a strong frame:

Daygame VS Nightgame and how it’s the same shit (lol at 12:48):

Not touching today’s actual article with a 10 foot pole (aka my wang lolololz), too many racist tards in CH’s comment section lol


  • Firepower
    on May 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally

    Not touching today’s actual article with a 10 foot pole (aka my wang lolololz), too many racist tards in CH’s comment section lol

    So, your best response is: Dredge up old TD shit he laid down 10 years ago – when he had hair – and then expect the “astonished” audience to act like we haven’t heard it all 100x before. What are you 19 – or just a dancing monkey? Clown.


    • King A (Matthew King)
      on May 25, 2012 at 12:18 am
      Original Link

      So he’s narrowly focused and stays on point. There’s plenty of room for that. Even though his generalized preemptive shame-language for anyone daring to point out the obvious makes him a tool (“useful idiot”) of the culture that hates him.

      No big deal, we’re talking about different things. But it would help if he didn’t add some cheesy ad hominem to ingratiate himself with the concern trolls. The worst part about oblivious (or obsessively focused) people like YaReally is that they hardly notice when they’re sucking up to the PC policemen who just might be lurking in the shadow. It’s just how we grew up. What can you do?

      Matt


      • YaReally
        on May 25, 2012 at 4:14 am
        Original Link

        “So he’s narrowly focused and stays on point.”

        I’ll bring up the same shit over and over until I see less guys bringing up the same limiting beliefs, misguided questions, and keyboard jockey theories.

        The ignorance of the KJ’s created me.

        “people like YaReally is that they hardly notice when they’re sucking up to the PC policemen who just might be lurking in the shadow.”

        No, I legitimately think racist people are ignorant retards who are stuck in extremely limiting social conditioning their environment drilled into them instead of thinking for themselves.

        When you interact with enough people and learn to legitimately connect with them you develop a love for everyone. It’s actually funny to see people get upset over a white girl sleeping with a black guy. Like, it’s as funny as watching a child get upset at a toy who’s batteries died. Awww, that’s cute, he can’t comprehend how silly he’s being.

        Same time I don’t care if you’re racist, it doesn’t affect my life. I just feel bad for you being trapped in your shitty headspace.

        One of the big tells of who’s a keyboard jockey is their view on race. People who go out and socialize with a large variety of different types of people don’t have the same views as white nerds who hang out on racist Internet forums and surround themselves with a small social circle of similar people who all agree with them.


        • gunslingergregi
          on May 25, 2012 at 4:35 am
          Original Link

          funny though that you have this big mind and hang with all these people but yet you are racist against white nerds you haven’t seen them to be human or worth the time. So basically all the people that you hang out with all probably have the same views. Interesting right you racist nigga lova


          • YaReally
            on May 25, 2012 at 9:56 am
            Original Link

            You are just so dumb im not even going to write an actual response lol here’s a picture of boobies for you:

            ( . )( . )


        • Lara
          on May 25, 2012 at 11:04 am
          Original Link

          Does your love of everyone include guys like gunslinger?


          • YaReally
            on May 25, 2012 at 4:08 pm
            Original Link

            Sure. Doesn’t mean I respect him or think he’s not an idiot though lol Like I say, I have friends who are racist. Aside from their limiting views/judgements on race, they’re decent people who I like.


        • King A (Matthew King)
          on May 25, 2012 at 2:34 pm
          Original Link

          No, I legitimately think racist people are ignorant retards who are stuck in extremely limiting social conditioning their environment drilled into them instead of thinking for themselves.

          BREAKING NEWS. Men who notice race are not automatically “racist people” and “ignorant retards.” It’s not your brave call to Teach The World To Sing that’s at issue here. It’s your preemptive condemnation of anyone who dares notice the color of skin and what, if anything, that might indicate. We are allowed to analyze every facet of Wayne’s technique down to the molecule except the most glaring fact staring everyone in the face, the preeminent factor of our race-obsessed culture?

          Your passive perpetuation of shame is part of the problem that overwhelms people like John Derbyshire (married to a Chinese woman) and Naomi Riley (married to a black man) at the margins, little careless piss sprinkles contributing to a flood in which real people drown.

          I don’t expect you to notice or care. I am saying your weak-ass, unconsciously leftist anti-racism which finds scandal in every mention of skin color does not impress those of us more committed to the perishing of pretty lies in areas internal and external to pick-up artistry.

          Matt


          • YaReally
            on May 25, 2012 at 4:15 pm
            Original Link

            “Men who notice race are not automatically “racist people” and “ignorant retards.””

            BREAKING NEWS. Noticing race is not the same as calling for mass extinction or believing that black people will rape and beat your white women to death etc. etc. etc.

            “who dares notice the color of skin and what, if anything, that might indicate.”

            You are having an argument with me that I’m not ACTUALLY having with you.

            “I don’t expect you to notice or care.”

            Oh, good, then you won’t be disappointed.

            “which finds scandal in every mention of skin color”

            Again, a “mention of skin color” isn’t the same as “maybe its all the white girls who have taken bricks and punches to the face tortured and killed by niggers could be that” or “I can’t sit here and watch a nig seduce a White brainwashed woman. Fucking disgusting.” or “Anyway you dont need a small dick to hate black guys fucking white women.(snip) I just hate niggers.”

            Again, you’re having a non-existant argument.


    • YaReally
      on May 25, 2012 at 4:01 am
      Original Link

      “What are you 19 – or just a dancing monkey?”

      I’m waiting for
      You to post
      Something someone finds
      Useful.

      Any day now…


      • gunslingergregi
        on May 25, 2012 at 4:36 am
        Original Link

        how many racists are you friends with?


        • YaReally
          on May 25, 2012 at 10:00 am
          Original Link

          Lots. I currently live in a heavily redneck racist area. Some of them even do well with chicks so I’m not even saying the mentality holds you back from getting laid.

          It just holds you back as a person the way hating vegetables as a kid would hold you back as an adult if you continued to clutch onto those (very real at the time) ignorant beliefs.


    • geo
      on May 25, 2012 at 10:36 am
      Original Link

      Its new to me.
      I always thought TD was an annoying little shit and avoided RSD like the plague, but that was before watching the videos that YaReally linked to.TD may be a manipulative little shithead but that’s just another way of saying he has dark triad attributes. His mannerisms are annoying as hell with the exaggerated gay lisping and hackneyed phrases. But the content is very good. Watching his presentations is like taking medicine.

      And I’m out there trying this stuff and seeing better results, particularly after watching these TD videos and the recent Krauser interview. I shoot for 10 approaches a week but now that I’m getting good feedback I’ve fallen into a pattern of talking to the same girl for hours just for a hug and phone number, and blowing it on the phone calls or the follow date.

      “Be congruent and have a strong frame” is an outstanding aphorism by the way.
      .


      • YaReally
        on May 25, 2012 at 4:23 pm
        Original Link

        “I always thought TD was an annoying little shit and avoided RSD like the plague”

        He was, back in the day. But he grew and matured. Now his shit is top of the pile. He’s still awkward, but the concept he teach are dead solid.

        “And I’m out there trying this stuff and seeing better results”

        Good on you. Guaranteed most of the posters that responded to me aren’t out there at all.

        Soon as you actually go out regularly and put this stuff into action it starts making sense. Guys who don’t relate to what Tyler describes just don’t go out much or don’t work on improving their skills when they do go out. That’s just how it is, no matter how big they brag their E-Penis is.

        There’s a reason PUA forusm have never been full of racist bullshit like this comment section. Like Dove says this is not a productive use of your time.

        And with that, I’m out…it’s Friday, anyone else going out tonight? KingA? Firepower? Greg? …Beuller?


        • Greg Eliot
          on May 25, 2012 at 5:15 pm
          Original Link

          What are you, some kind of “I’m going to have more fun than YOU!!!” snooki wannabe?

          Better you should go out now and drop your deuces on your girlfriends than continue to deposit them here.


          • YaReally
            on May 26, 2012 at 4:49 pm
            Original Link

            That’s what I thought. :)

            brb advising people on shit I don’t know anything about



PermanentGuest
on May 24, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Original Link

“it’s strictly about game technique, demonstrated by a guy who happens to be black.”

Funny how everyone is seeing race instead of characteristic. The color of his skin is incidental to his personhood, not the definition of it.

Then again, the same people who see race are the same people making excuses for failing with women. We can post a video of a carbon copy of you successfully gaming a girl, and you’d find a reason why it wouldn’t “work” for you.

For those of you who are “disgusted,” Enjoy your ignorance and hatred while you masturbate furiously from behind your computer screen. Meanwhile, Justin Wayne is sleeping with “your” women.


  • Greg Eliot
    on May 24, 2012 at 11:54 pm
    Original Link

    Apparently, the color of the skin of his intended victims is anything but incidental… which you ‘race doesn’t matter’ lemmings, of course, fail to mention.

    Fail more, if possible.

    [heartiste: if a black guy seduces a white woman, who do you blame more for her defilement? the dude or the chick? serious question.]


    • PermanentGuest
      on May 25, 2012 at 12:04 am
      Original Link

      Sad strawman.

      Also sad perspective that you see people as “white girls” or “asian girls” instead of individuals who are attractive. This is why you still have a fear of women: you treat them as a collective group. Now you fear that one girl who rejected you is part of a common scheme of women who have no idea who you are.

      Or, you can continue in your obvious insecurity. Your choice.

      [heartiste: beware the equalist fallacy. races are not identical except for skin color. that said, there are some universal traits that women of all races share. hypergamy being the primary one.]


      • YaReally
        on May 25, 2012 at 4:25 am
        Original Link

        “Also sad perspective that you see people as “white girls” or “asian girls” instead of individuals who are attractive. This is why you still have a fear of women: you treat them as a collective group. Now you fear that one girl who rejected you is part of a common scheme of women who have no idea who you are.”

        Yep. This goes with my point about being racist. When you’ve been around enough women you don’t categorize and stereotype them as groups anymore. Same with interacting with men.

        Newbies and jockeys don’t have enough reference experience to shatter those beliefs and instead embrace them and form an identity around them because that’s easier, especially if they’ve surrounded themselves with similar socially-limited people.


        • King A (Matthew King)
          on May 25, 2012 at 3:39 pm
          Original Link

          Okay, YaReally, time to shut the fuck up.

          Everything reduces to “newbies and jockeys” to you, even the politics of race. Now you’ve demonstrated beyond every doubt that you’re a one-trick pony.

          “When you’ve been around enough women you don’t…” do anything contrary to YaReally’s opinion. And you call everyone else keyboard jockeys? Get your head out of the seduction sites. Read a book. You’re in way over your head, drowning in ignorance and quoting Owen “Tyler Durden” Cook all the way down.

          It is possible judge individuals and judge generalities. And, if you’re a touch more sophisticated, it is possible to judge individuals against generalities, you leftist shill. Adults walk and chew gum at the same time. Yes, even those of us whose entire interaction with humanity cannot be reduced to the footnotes of pick-up seminars.

          Matt


          • YaReally
            on May 26, 2012 at 4:23 pm
            Original Link

            lol you’re a very angry person.


          • YaReally
            on May 26, 2012 at 5:00 pm
            Original Link

            “People categorize others into groups because it works more often then it doesn’t.”

            No, people categorize others into groups because they’re too lazy, shy, or socially inept to go out and actually interact with those various groups and meet both the bad and good sides of them and form their own judgements after getting to know both the good and bad people and understand them.

            This is similar to social proof and how a woman will go by other people’s judgement of you to save time over getting to actually know you and why that guy can pretend to be a movie star in the mall and have people asking for his autograph.

            It’s understandable that people categorize like that. To go out and actually interact with a variety of crowds would require being a social out-going pleasant person that people From other walks of life actually LIKE in real life, which I imagine is difficult for half the people going on racist rants in this comment section lol

            The diversity of my social circles and the types of situations and environments I’ve put myself in would surprise you. But then, I actually go out.


  • YaReally
    on May 25, 2012 at 4:19 am
    Original Link

    “Then again, the same people who see race are the same people making excuses for failing with women. We can post a video of a carbon copy of you successfully gaming a girl, and you’d find a reason why it wouldn’t “work” for you.”

    Yep.



Justin Wayne: Direct And Indirect Street Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

walawala
on May 25, 2012 at 9:34 am
Original Link

Justin Wayne is cool…

But found this little gem on Krauser’s blog…

love his commentary…

This is painful to watch…


  • YaReally
    on May 26, 2012 at 5:05 pm
    Original Link

    Holy shit lol I couldn’t look away from that trainwreck.

    When girls ask why I don’t dance I’ll just load this video up lol



The Chrome Microphone
on May 25, 2012 at 11:18 am
Original Link

As usual the comment section degenerates into a hateful cesspool of white supremacy at a speed that would make YouTube blush

The entire point of the post is ignored so that racists can hate on black people

This blog’s ideas will never go mainstream if its supporters are seen as such knuckle dragging cretins whose blind ignorance goes unchecked


  • Jason
    on May 25, 2012 at 2:23 pm
    Original Link

    Absolutely. I totally agree. The excellent ideas about evo psych found here are drowned in a sea of troglodytes and John Birchers.

    Buckley swept them out of the Republican party. Can H sweep them out of his website?


    • Tyrone
      on May 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm
      Original Link

      As I recall, Gunslinger, Firepower, myself, King A, etc. were all here well before you came along. I’ve been posting here regularly since about 2007. You seem to like it here despite the troglodytes and John Birchers. In fact, you seem to have a fascination for them. Perhaps deep down, both of you know they are right. As a minimum, we take the dark side of human nature into account in our calculations. You always have Slate or MSNBC. Please, by all means, believe the pretty little lies you flatter yourselves with.

      BTW, once an idea goes mainstream, its ruined because that means the middlebrow intellects and opportunists who live by copying real thinkers will take the ideas and distort them into somethng they were never meant to be for personal gain or vanity.


      • YaReally
        on May 25, 2012 at 4:27 pm
        Original Link

        “As I recall, Gunslinger, Firepower, myself, King A, etc. were all here well before you came along.”

        “In fact, this is about the 3rd or 4th blog I know many people here from, going back to about 2003. I’ve known Firepower, Whisky, X-splat, Gunslinger, and many others since about 2001 or 2002.”

        lol this confirms a lot of what I’ve already figured out about some of those names. Awesome. Keep doing your thing, I’ll be here trying to dicuss actual game with people who want to improve their skills.


        • King A (Matthew King)
          on May 25, 2012 at 4:52 pm
          Original Link

          When “people who want to improve their [PUA] skills” is the subject of the day, as it is 80% of the time, you provide value-added. Cheers to you.

          With any other subject: useless tit.

          Aren’t you listening? Diversify your portfolio. Otherwise, pipe down while the adults are talking. You are a hopelessly lost child when wandering outside your bailiwick.

          If you have a problem with the subject material, take it up with the boss who posts (and moderates) the conversation according to his liking.

          Matt


          • YaReally
            on May 26, 2012 at 4:42 pm
            Original Link

            You roleplay being authoritative very well on the Internet. You must have a HUGE e-penis. You must be quite the alpha male in your Warcraft guild.

            “Aren’t you listening?”

            Not to people I can tell are bluffing their credentials. Was that not clear a looooong time ago? lol

            have you been pretending to be “the king” for so long that you’re actually legitimately confused when someone can tell you’re full of shit and just laughs at the persona you’ve bullied other people into letting you get away with for years?

            There’s a reason I call people out on not going out. Cause that one stings. You can do all the fanciful wordplay dancing around on here you want but it doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t go out last night and you aren’t going out tonight. :)

            The funniest thing to me when I found the manosphere comment sections is how many very clearly full of shit guys have earned the respect of newbies simply based on how strong their frame is in their “authoritative” writing.

            It’s like oh I’m sorry? Am I fucking things up by exposing some of you guys as full of shit? Were you the king of the hill in your little world because no one with more experience happened to be around to laugh at you waving your toy sword around like you’re a battle-hardened fighter?

            Oops. :)



Quality Vs Quantity, Formula Version

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 23, 2012 at 10:57 am
Original Link
  • YaReally
    on May 24, 2012 at 12:27 am
    Original Link

    It represents how everyone on this thread sounds and how retarded pointless e-penis comparisons like this are.

    The only guys who compare belt notches are the guys who determine their self-worth by them.


    • YaReally
      on May 24, 2012 at 11:15 am
      Original Link

      The original purpose of the HB1-10 system wasn’t for bragging rights and gay “I banged 3 HB11s so my opinion is more important than yours because you’ve only banged 12 HB4s”

      It was a method of conveying data to other PUAs to put the field reports or techniques in context. ie – an HB6 responds to negs differently than an HB9 who responds differently than an HB10. A lot of times descriptions involved what the guy would rate her and how she rated herself (“an HB6 who thinks she’s an HB9″). The social dynamics involved in approaching and working a 2-set of an HB6 and HB5 are different than approaching a 2-set of an HB9 and HB3.

      Why did we need this method of conveying data? Because we were breaking down social interactions and progressing pickup knowledge instead of sitting around comparing e-penis stats like today’s keyboard jockeys do.



Fast-Tracking Familiarity

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 22, 2012 at 10:54 am
Original Link

A big part of speed seduction is basically taking someone you’ve just met and creating the feeling in them that they’ve known you for years. A lot of PUA stuff is based around this:

- venue changes (don’t try to just go to dinner then your place. Meet at your place for a sec, then go to dinner, then head to a cozy pub but drop into a convenience store on the way, etc etc THEN go back to your place, each new venue/situation you’re in together solidifies the “us vs the world” feeling)

- The Cube (and similar gimmicks, which make the chick think you know her to her core the way no one else does…the attraction this builds if you pull it off is fucking scary)

- Cold Reads (similar to The Cube but shorter/faster and sometimes negative, either way it’s basically calling someone out on something the way you would a close friend)

- Teasing (the way a brother teases his little sister, it breeds familiarity)

- etc etc etc.

Basically PUAs looked at “what triggers build familiarity and how can we create routines based on this that skip all the in-between stuff and just flip the triggers ASAP?” It’s like people naturally have a giant cluttered room full of light switches spread out all over and PUAs said “fuck walking all the way around the room, let’s put the light switches all on one panel by the entrance”. I’ll build the same connection in an hour at the bar that a normal guy would build with a girl over months or years.

This concept of familiarity goes beyond seduction of women, it’s a good people skill in general. You can use it to get a girl opening up about her bisexual experiences and what color underwear she’s wearing 2 minutes after meeting her, or you can use it to land yourself a job in an interview or free drinks from AMOGs or get help from strangers or help people who are depressed.

I make guy-friends easily because I build a connection with them quickly. Often it’s guys with high status that are intrigued (so I get job offers, invites to stuff, introduced to their social circles, etc) because they’re used to playing the fake-polite-persona game with other high status guys where everyone is kind of bullshitting eachother and you don’t really get to know the other person’s real personality for a while. Then I come in and plow through all that and show I’m not putting on a front (authenticity) so they drop their persona and we connect deeper and faster (no homo) than normal to them which is a surreal experience to them and they grasp at keeping in touch because they know they just ran into something special (no homo lol)

Girls will often tell me “I don’t get it, we’ve just met but it feels like I’ve known you forever…” and guys will tell me “Man I just met you but I can tell you’re a good guy, seriously dude” (which is bro-speak for having a man-crush lol)

I wouldn’t use the name thing myself but Russel Brand does it in the middle of an interview with Carrie Keegan on YouTube. She already likes him in it though so he can say/do anything and she loves it.



Fast-Tracking Familiarity

Original Link

via Heartiste

yareallypua
on May 25, 2012 at 12:58 am
Original Link

Reblogged this on YaReallyPUA and commented:
test



Relational Equity

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 21st, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Original Link

“Change her mood, not her mind.”

Been a PUA rule for years.


The New Sensitivity

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 18th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Original Link

oh and on the wallet subject, I’ve been trying to cut down on my spending at the bar so occasionally I’ll leave my debit/credit cards at home. And to encourage me to not waste my time on just going for numbers I’ll sometimes leave my phone at home.

I’ve noticed that as soon as I decide not to bring all that stuff out, I get a rush of beta “What if something happened? What if I needed money? What if I need a cab to get home? What if I got injured in a fight and needed to call for help? What if I meet a girl but need money for a hotel room?” etc. etc. * worries flood thru my brain. Then the alpha side kicks in and goes “Fuck it, I can handle anything. :P ” and figures it’ll just know what to do and everything will obviously work out in its favor because it’s awesome and capable.

This is why guys who go travel in a country where they don’t speak the language solo for a while tend to come back more alpha. They’re forced to rely on nothing but themselves and gain a shit-ton of reference experience that they’re capable of handling any crisis.

BradP told an anecdote where he went to Europe and it took him 20 minutes to finally ask for help for how to use a pay-phone there from people who didn’t speak English. He just froze up because he’d never had to rely on himself like that for something so simple before.

*The solutions my alpha brain comes up with for those problems:

- Nothing bad will happen and if it does, I’ll come out fine
- Other people will buy me stuff because I’m charming
- I’ll just tell the cabbie I have to run in and grab my card, it’s fine
- Pffft no one would mess with me, and if they did I’d win
- She’ll pay for it, duh


How Much Do Your Smarts Matter To Women?

Original Link

via Heartiste

PDX
on May 17, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Original Link

Dumb for not knowing the $2 word, dumber for not negging the f out of her for dropping nerdy words.

He could’ve sidestepped, unless of course, it really wasn’t a difficult word.


  • YaReally
    on May 17, 2012 at 11:09 pm
    Original Link

    your avatar looks like a sad clown lol that cracked me up in real life. Awesome. Mine just looks like a shitty space invaders alien



YaReally
on May 18, 2012 at 12:03 am
Original Link

8=====D~~~~

Adding a jizzing ASCII penis to go with all the mental masturbation in this thread.

Hey guys! You better get a car to get girls. This one time I overheard a girl ask a guy what he drives and he said he didn’t drive and her gina dried right up! So obviously you need a car. But not too nice a car because then some girls are intimidated by it. Keep living your life in reaction because girls want you to conform to what you think they want instead of being authentic.

In that last paragraph, replace “having a car” with having money, a six-pack, a job, intelligence, height, hair, a deep voice, knowledge of Glee, etc.

It’s just that everyone on the Internet is a super genius IQ brain ninja so while most of you know by now to ignore this argument when it’s about six-packs, now that it strikes closer to home you throw the exact same proper logic out the window.

There’s two ways to view using words that are too big for the girl to understand:

1) You’re weird for not trying to dumb down your big words to better communicate with her.

Or:

2) She’s weird for not understanding your big words to better communicate with you.

and two ways for if she uses big words:

1) You’re dumb for not understanding her words.

2) She’s dumb for using big words that no one understands.

In both those scenarios which option do you think is the one running through an alpha male’s mind? Hint: it’s option 2.

So what pickup concept does this bring us back to? Where the perception of the events occurring in front of you is determined by the person with the strongest…….?

Hint: F____ C______?


  • Special K
    on May 18, 2012 at 2:20 am
    Original Link

    Thought experiment here. Suppose you’re an avid fan of Magic The Gathering.

    You meet a cute girl at a coffee shop. You happen to notice that she’s reading Lawhead’s “Song of Albion” trilogy. When questioned, she says she loves it. Now that you know she’s into high-brow celtic fantasy, do you invite her to your place for a game of Magic?

    FUCK NO! There’s a social stigma attached to magic players, and you don’t want to be voluntarily painting yourself with that brush.

    Works the same way for brains. Smart but socially inept is an engrained concept. The way around it is to first prove the socially inept part to be false, THEN to reveal the brains. By then, it’s too late for you to fall into the sterotype.

    The car analogy is really good though. It’d be entirely accurate if it weren’t for the need to avoid being sterotyped as “unfuckable” right off the bat.


    • YaReally
      on May 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm
      Original Link

      “Thought experiment here.”

      Shoot.

      “Suppose you’re an avid fan of Magic The Gathering.”

      lol I played it when I was younger.

      “Now that you know she’s into high-brow celtic fantasy, do you invite her to your place for a game of Magic?”

      …are you kidding? No, because liking a genre of something isn’t the same as wanting to play a card game of it, wtf. “Hey, I see you like the color blue!! Do you want to paint my apartment blue???”

      “There’s a social stigma attached to magic players”

      Don’t make your identity “guy who plays magic”. You’d be surprised how many girls are mindblown when they find out I’m a computer nerd. “REALLY?? You don’t seem like it at ALL…” I used to tell them to guess what job I do just to see what vibe I was putting off and I’d get shit like Fireman or Bartender lol

      Why? Because my identity is “cool social guy who happens to like computers” not “computer nerd”.

      “and you don’t want to be voluntarily painting yourself with that brush.”

      Pretty sure I can make “We should play Magic together. I’ll show you my craw worm and tap your mana. ;) ” work.

      Don’t be ashamed of your shit. If you’re a high value guy and you think something is cool, she will too, because she wants to like what you like. That’s why douchey jock guys can be like “Naw man, ultimate frisbee is badass!!” and have girls digging it.

      And even if she hates whatever it is that you think is cool, what happens is she categorizes you as separate from “those other guys”. So she labels you a magic player “but not like those nerdy ones” the same way she labels me “a computer guy, but he’s not nerdy like those Warcraft guys” and the same way she labels an asshole “he’s a jerk, but not like those MEAN jerks”.

      You’re letting society dictate how you should feel about yourself. When you approach with the attitude of “I look to external sources to determine my worth”, then ya, she labels you the same way she’d label any other Magic player.

      “Works the same way for brains.”

      You’re making conclusions based on your own biases instead of actual abundant experience.

      Here’s one of the oldest PUA routines from pre-The Game days:

      HB: What do you do?
      PUA: I work at Taco Bell. Usually I’m just chopping lettuce at the back, but I
      just got awarded Employee of the Month, so now I get to wear a special hat and I work out the front where everyone can see me!

      Why does that not make the girl label him as a Taco Bell employed loser and make her run away? Because he’s not ashamed of it and he has the frame that what he’s doing is awesome. I mean, he gets a special HAT!!

      “Smart but socially inept is an engrained concept.”

      Limiting belief. I’ve seen short guys get laid by tall girls who hate short guys. I’ve been the poor guy getting laid by girls who only like rich men. I’ve seen good-looking guys land intelligent girls who assumed they’d be dumb. etc. etc. You need to go out and train more.

      “The way around it is to first prove the socially inept part to be false, THEN to reveal the brains.”

      Nah, you don’t have to do that. Watch videos with Russell Brand. He doesn’t even try to dumb himself down, from the word Go he’s doing a highly intelligent verbal dance that barely anyone can keep up with. And yet he gets girls. Why? Because he thinks what he does is cool.

      “By then, it’s too late for you to fall into the sterotype.”

      You are living in fear and reaction, letting external things define who you are as a person.

      “It’d be entirely accurate if it weren’t for the need to avoid being sterotyped as “unfuckable” right off the bat.”

      Intelligent guys who get labelled unfuckable are guys who have other shit wrong with them. Usually it’s stuff that’s in this 25 points list:

      http://www.rsdnation.com/node/60062

      They’re dressed shitty (shows a lack of social awareness), have awkward body language (posture, fidgeting, hands in pockets, etc.), unsure of themselves (think too much and second-guess themselves and seek approval from people of what they’re saying), don’t project their voice properly (since they’re usually introverts who are scared to take up anyone’s space or impose themselves on anyone), don’t touch girls properly (since they have little experience with women or going out to socialize), etc. etc.

      It has nothing to do with their intelligence.

      …but then, it’s a lot easier for a guy to hide behind a bullshit limiting belief as an excuse rather than admit that he sucks ass at a dozen other categories of social interaction and that he’s too fucking lazy to work on them. This is the same as the stereotypical ghetto black dude sitting on a couch watching TV all day saying “I can’t get a job man…it’s cuz I’m black”.


      • Student
        on May 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm
        Original Link

        “And yet he gets girls. Why?”

        because hes famous.

        I’ve hung out with big name celebrities. there is often a big discrepancy between how they act on camera (anytime they know a camera is on them) and how they are in real life. esp actors (although there are the occasional exceptions that are straight up typecast based on their real personality). that’s why these guys have teams of PR and image ppl. and that’s also why its fallacious to assume that what you see is what you get.


        • YaReally
          on May 23, 2012 at 1:16 am
          Original Link

          “because hes famous.”

          He was getting laid long before he was famous.



Hot Women Are Harder To Fool

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 16, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Original Link

Does it actually have to do with genes or does it have to do with the fact that hotter chicks are forced into 10000000x more social interactions than ugly chicks?

A dude fresh out of prison can probably recognize angry emotions in people better than a guy who sits on his computer all day.

A hot girl is forced into so many social interactions that she has to learn to read people to avoid negative consequences. She has to tell which of the 10 guys knocking on her door is legit while the uggo doesn’t.

My social calibration and ability to read people and feel the vibe of an interaction is all light-years ahead of most people. But I sharpened those skills by spending a lot of time in the field, when I started out as a computer nerd recluse I couldn’t see the things that are flashing neon lights to me now. I imagine it’s the same for hot girls as soon as they start hitting puberty and even before then in a lot of cases.


  • corvinus
    on May 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm
    Original Link

    My social calibration and ability to read people and feel the vibe of an interaction is all light-years ahead of most people. But I sharpened those skills by spending a lot of time in the field, when I started out as a computer nerd recluse I couldn’t see the things that are flashing neon lights to me now. I imagine it’s the same for hot girls as soon as they start hitting puberty and even before then in a lot of cases.

    Same here. Unfortunately, I was so bad at reading social cues that just because of my history, people still tend to assume that I’m an omegavirgindork, unless they only got to know me recently.


    • YaReally
      on May 17, 2012 at 4:04 am
      Original Link

      Ya that happens lol I lucked out in that I was moving to a new city around the time I discovered game so it was easy for me to introduce new behaviors…people in the new city didn’t know me and when I came home to visit people assumed the new city “changed me” (they still shit-tested me on my new attitude but it was just on a couple days for vacation VS daily, and by my next visit a year later they just accepted my new attitude).

      If your situ is fucking up your progress here’s a CH post for ya:

      http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/abandoning-friends-who-know-you-as-you-were/


  • Joost
    on May 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm
    Original Link

    Darn. Thought I was the first to reply to this, but yes. I wonder the same. Occam’s razor comes to mind, making me prefer the simpler explanation that attractive women get more training in seduction interactions and are therefore better at them.

    Though when all is said, the information that prettier women are more able to see through bullshit is still pretty useful. Shame that women below your league also seem to realize that they’re just being played for a quick release.


    • YaReally
      on May 17, 2012 at 4:35 am
      Original Link

      “Though when all is said, the information that prettier women are more able to see through bullshit is still pretty useful.”

      Agreed. This is why we stress not to act different around 10s. Do exactly what you do with 7s. If you put on an “okay this is the BIG time, THIS girl is special, I’d better bust out my A-Game” persona, the girl can sniff out your inauthenticity. You were authentic and congruent with the 7s because you legit didn’t give a shit about the outcome, but with the hotter ones you start not escalating as fast or taking her on dates instead of trying to bang her in the bathroom, or not swearing, or not being as aloof, etc.

      A hot girl has been surrounded her whole life by people acting how they think she’d like them to act, from guys opening doors for her while pretending not to want to fuck her, to girls being nice to her face but talking shit behind her back…to survive socially they have to learn to read that stuff because it only gets worse as they get older and men trying to fuck them and rich guys at nightclubs offering them free trips to paris and shit enters the equation.

      It can be hard for nerdy socially inexperienced guys to wrap their head around the world really hot girls live in. Imagine if you knew everyone around you was lying to you 24/7 and no one would ever tell you how they really feel or what they really think of you. It would be like those movies where the main character is trapped in a Pleasantville world and trying to get answers out of people who are all in on the gag.



Anonymous
on May 17, 2012 at 10:11 am
Original Link

CH – curious as to whether we are going to see any commentary on this David DeAngelo business…

justified criticism, or pure envy at his Internet success, what say you

ROOSH V –

Twitter Updates

David D and his new wife will teach you how to take your relationship to the next level via seminar for only $997. #

PUA FRAUD website:

http://www.puafraud.com/david-deangelo-aka-eben-pagan-loses-his-balls-admits-to-only-two-relationships-in-his-life/

“So here is a bit from his wedding registry

“Soon after, Eben gathered his tribe in yet another circle, placing 3 women at the front of the room: his ex-girlfriend Rose, myself and his friend Shannon.” Rose was the only other serious romance he’d ever had.

(Note from RJ: What the fuck? He’s pushing 40 and he’s really only had ONE girlfriend prior to his wife? And this guy has been teaching men about women? Do you think that maybe there is something WRONG with him? Nahh)

“He kneeled before her and began to recount all the hard-won lessons learned from their relationship. He thanked her for being his teacher, for enduring the drama, and for preparing him so perfectly for me. Then, body to the ground, he bowed to her in reverence.”

Holy tard! The guy who taught about killing your “inner wussy” is BOWING before his ex-gf, his BODY TO THE GROUND? Talk about over-doing it and chewing the scenery. This is the kind of a thing a narcissist who is incapable of expressing or feeling authentic emotion would do: substitute in theatre and a grand gesture that calls attention to himself.

If you’ve ever bought a single one of his crap “Double Your Masturbating” products I suggest NOW is the time to set fire to it in a flash mob rally and put the whole thing up on Youtube.

Fuck….just fuck.

DeAnushole, you are a socio-path on a grand scale, so I can only assume all of this ceremonial will make for good fodder when you and your greyhound-skinny wife go on talk shows plugging your new relationship mastery seminars and making love happen bootcamps.

BLARF!

I just threw up in my soul.

I liked you better when you were a scheming, back-stabbing, boring-as-bat shit, read-from-the-notes huckster.

Peace, piece and god, I’m going to go be sick again.

RJ

Be Sociable, Share!

You da man ROSS! says:
October 5, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Ross, I always give you props but I think this just unfair! David D has been a valuable teacher to many, (including me) and while you da man Ross….David D is cool too.

I think it’s rad he found a hot chicks who he loves. Why you saying he scammed peeps? WHERE’S THE LOVE RJ????

Reply
Ross Jeffries says:
October 5, 2011 at 6:52 pm
@You da

No, he hasn’t. He’s taught misinformation, bullshit and he’s deceived people on a vast scale.

And “found love”? Read closely…is it love or theatre and a set up for his next marketing scam?

Mark my words: within 6 months he and his wifey will be doing workshops and bootcamps presenting themselves as experts and charging a shit load of monies.

RJ

Reply

[heartiste: i've used some DYD cocky/funny lines to good effect. and i didn't pay a red cent for the info. i agree that anyone who pays deangelo $1K for an LTR bootcamp (whatever the hell that is) run by him and his wife is a dupe, but that doesn't mean his pickup tactics aren't useful. his wife, btw, is decent looking. not a supermodel, but not bad either. maybe not every man's taste, but she has the sort of exotic look that i could see some guys really going for. plus, maybe he and her connect on a temperamental level that he hasn't felt with other women. at the very least, she's not overweight. that goes a long way in this day and age.]


  • YaReally
    on May 17, 2012 at 11:00 pm
    Original Link

    RJ is the equivalent of the crazy old homeless guy yelling shit on a street corner. He’s been doing it for like 10+ years. You can pretty much ignore him.

    DavidD did more for pickup than pretty much anyone else back in the day except for Mystery. A lot of his stuff is out-dated now but the concepts he taught are still solid even if the actual routines are weak.

    Most boxing trainers aren’t UFC looking ninjas who can still jump in the ring for 10 rounds. Doesn’t mean their knowledge is worthless. Don’t care who DavidD marries or if he takes it up the bum from RJ these days, the stuff he did back in the day was and still is solid.



Alpha Assessment: The Name Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Original Link

Good breakdown of an important concept.

It sneaks up from the other end of the spectrum too…staying on sexual topics too long, too early in the interaction. You get talking about something dirty and show you’re a sexual guy, awesome…but then you get hooked on that topic and stay on it too long because your brain is saying “wow she admitted she likes doggy style! What else can I ask her about this topic? This is great!!” Next thing you know she thinks talking about sex with a girl is so rare an event in your life that you have to cling to that topic as long as possible out of fear it’ll never happen to you again.

The cause is the same (reaction/validation/approval-seeking). So naturally the solution is the same: switch it up so you’re unpredictable, like doing push/pull. If you’re flirting it up without pushing toward sex like the guy in this article, make sure to end it and push toward sex. If you’re talking sex stuff and pushing toward sex, make sure to pull back and chill and let the sexual tension build.

Learn to calibrate that balance and your pickup skills become an art-form.

Also this changes once you’ve gotten past a certain point in the relationship with her (like fucking her).

Her 1st signal for him to switch gears was giving her real name (“okay game’s over lets be real now”). 2nd signal was her asking how he likes to be called (“seriously, let’s get down to business”). Her 3rd (frustrated) signal was the “do you remember…?” bit. She was trying to change threads for him.

He actually initiated the “game’s over now” gear shift with his “anyway, how do you like to be called?” (key word was “anyway”) but I don’t think he realized he did that because then, incongruently, he resumed the old gear. That’s why she was basically like “wait what? I thought we were moving on here…?”. He basically went backwards in the pickup without realizing it, but she could sense it.

It’s no big deal, she wants to fuck his brains out going by the chemistry here. He should just change threads entirely in his next convo as if none of that last bit happened or was awkward, VS trying to dig out of this situ with the perfect response. If your parachute has a hole in it, it might be best to just cut the ropes on it and pull out a new one instead of trying to patch the hole in mid-air.



Special K
on May 15, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Original Link

Interesting. My own analysis differs quite a bit from Heartists. From my reading, you’ve been friendzoned hardcore. She just started dating some other guy, plays a cute but non-sexual wordame with you, and is willing to let the conversation die out awkwardly rather than elaborate on the ill-concieved “so?” at the end.

I do completely agree that you needed to bail on your conversation earlier though. Here’s a few possible ways you could have steered the conversation towards more productive ends. (listed from earliest possible exit to latest)

Option 1:
“I’m fun. You need to earn it”

Blah blah blah…
Her: Yeah, but you can Call me Diane
Him: But I WILL call you whatever I please. And until you prove worthy of better, I shall call you B.B.B.
Her: Beautiful Brainy Babe?
Him: Boring Blonde Bitch
Her: WTF dude?
Him: Don’t like it? Prove you’re not boring. Let’s you and me go do something reckless and crazy. RIGHT NOW.

This is an entire frame you can use to escape the friendzone of a taken girl (works on single girls too actually). The contrast you’re trying to paint is that you’re the fun-spontaneous guy. Spending time with you is an adventure. By comparison her boyfriend is boring and predictable. Give her enough time to draw the connection, or (if she’s none to bright) point it out to her by finding an excuse to call them a boring couple.

Once the hampster sees the wheel and starts to spin it, you’re DTF.

Option 2:

Blah blah blah
Her: i suppose we must do something about it, they dont call me “hard fists” for anything!
Him: Yeah well they call me Cave Man King. [use a cave man voice now]. Hard fists Pretty. Mmmmm. Me take for cave-babies.

As soon as you say that, grab her by the waist, throw her over your shoulder, and pantomime dragging her back to your cave, willing or not.

The thing I like about this is it capitalizes on the role-playing element of your name game. You’re now playing the alpha cave man who is going to get some, and she’s roleplaying your cumdumpster. She doesn’t even have a choice, since you picked her up and tossed her over your shoulder.

Also, you’ve absolutely shattered the touch barrier. This gives you an opportunity for some light kino (and sets a precedent for it in the future) all without doing anything that would likely trigger her anti-slut-defense.

When a girl is thinking about you violently fucking her brains out, you’re not friendzoned anymore. Just make sure you KEEP putting sex on her mind every time the two of you talk. Before long, she’ll develop a pavlovian response to your very presence.

Option 3.
Drinks?

Blah blah blah
Her: we can talk it, we can spare some lives, some broken bones and stuff.
Him: Sure. [Day after tomorrow] at [Place]. Buy me a drink, and we’ll discuss your irrational attraction to me.

I might have taken the first two options. I DEFINATELY would have taken this one. Drinks “sounds” like a social event between two friends. But in the meantime you’ve got her isolated from her friends, away from the BF, and a little tipsy. Even better, as a DHV you got her to pay for it!

Seriously. She pitched you a softball right down the middle, and instead of swinging for the home run, you watched it sail past.

Option 4.
Make it up to me

Blah blah blah.
Her: yeah, all this time, but yes, sorry cowboy
Him: Decietful Wench! But as I’m a gentleman, I’ll give you an opportunity to make it up to me.

Note: This was your last possible parachute. By apologizing, she’s signaling that this game no longer entertains her, and it’s time to change the subject. Also, this should be accompanied by a quick physical exit as well.

So you’ve changed the subject. Now we’re talking about what she can do to EARN her way ‘back’ into your good graces. This could be anything from buying you a drink like in option 3 to, “I don’t have any dinner plans on Thursday night. Why don’t you cook me something and we’ll call it even?”

As with option 3, this sets up a first date without explicitly calling it one. Hopefully once you’ve got a woman paying for you to see her on the sly, you can close from there without outside help :) .

Good luck!


  • YaReally
    on May 16, 2012 at 1:26 am
    Original Link

    Option 3 is the only decent one, but even then “your irrational attraction for me” would trigger her ASD because she has a boyfriend (if she was single it would be fine, but with a BF she’d have to consciously choose to be a slut because you framed the drink invite that way) and he’s not high value enough for her to be buying him drinks…they have chemistry but she’s not enthralled by him yet (for various reasons).

    The rest of the Options are super miscalibrated and steamroll over variables that in reality would cause them to go haywire (triggering ASD, frying her circuits (Buying Temperature), pushing before having the value to push, escalating before logistics are in place, etc).

    He’s definitely on his way to the friend zone if he doesn’t pull out of this dive though.



Reader Mailbag: Options = Instability

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 11, 2012 at 8:26 pm
Original Link

oh ya this is the standard PUA routine of “DHV Living Situation” and the “Crazy Ex” phone-game routine.

Tyler does a 40 minute lecture on it, here’s the vid–

No, just kidding. Never heard of either of those moves before. Props to this guy for pushing game forward by thinking outside the box and trying shit that no one would have thought to try. Both his living situ excuse and the ex-GF txt are brilliant and treading new territory and I like them because they’re jumping right into a shitshow that instinctively non-gamers would think could never possibly work. It’s like when the first guy reported back “when they say you just want to fuck them, instead of denying it say “Ya, I do.” holy shit it totally works!!”

If this were the old PUA days this would end with “everyone go try it out on 10 girls and report back what happened” and we’d narrow down the details of how to make it work consistently and use it to lead to sex.

But anyone talk to 10 new girls this week? Anyone? …Bueller? lol

[heartiste: i should start allowing commenting privileges only to male readers who can prove they talked to ten girls at the end of each week. comments would probably drop by 90%.]



The Silent Virginity

Original Link

via Heartiste

AHE
on May 10, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Original Link

I once knew two sisters, both smart and cute. One was a prolific slut, the other, at 30, a virgin. (The slut sister informed me about the condition of the other.) The virgin was a successful attorney and very religious. Apparently she just couldn’t meet the “right guy”.

Granted, this is one data point, but it got me thinking that there is a rare type of woman out there: SWPL but with traditional values and high impulse control who can’t navigate the contemporary urban fuck and suck scene. They want to save themselves for marriage but no high-status male (she roams in the world of high-status males) will put up with her for long if she doesn’t put out. Nor, however, will she settle for a beta for marriage. She doesn’t miss sex because she’s never had it and is terrified of it. So she exists independently, disappearing from normal social life behind enormous work hours, all her “friends” mere colleagues and clients, who never get to know her very well. Occasionally this creature relaxes on her expensive sofa to watch Mad Men (she is SWPL, after all), dreaming of another era when just such a prude as herself would still be a catch. She isn’t a cat lady; she is a worker lady. She is secretly in love with one of the top, married partners in the firm and won’t put out for anyone else. Alas, her secret love is too high status for her; he can get younger, hotter, tighter mistresses who also pose less exposure risk in the workplace or the marriage than this one would.

A mythical creature?


  • Chet
    on May 10, 2012 at 6:58 pm
    Original Link

    “They want to save themselves for marriage but no high-status male (she roams in the world of high-status males) will put up with her for long if she doesn’t put out”

    This strategy works if she find the older high-status, wealthy guy who’s tired of sowing oats and is looking for a low-mileage womb to plant babies into. (Once the girl hits 25, she probably should be rethinking her strategy though.)

    The funny thing is a real player will have a fuckbuddy or two on-call, and might be more likely to wait out the good-girl versus the average blue-balls chump.


    • YaReally
      on May 10, 2012 at 10:15 pm
      Original Link

      “The funny thing is a real player will have a fuckbuddy or two on-call, and might be more likely to wait out the good-girl versus the average blue-balls chump.”

      This is important.

      The reason I don’t get much LMR anymore is because I legit don’t care if I bang the girl or not. I have other girls on call and if I don’t have any other girls I know I can get more easily. So if she resists at all I can just back off and legit be cool with not fucking…which makes her decide “okay I want to fuck him”.

      This is a positive side-effect of having an abundance mentality that affects a bunch of different parts of your game and your sub-communications.

      A needy blue-balls AFC can SAY he’s okay with not getting laid, but she KNOWS. lol When you start out learning pickup though, you have to fake it till you make it. That’s why we stress trying to put yourself in the mindset that you have 20 Playboy models at home all wanting to bang you…you don’t, but you want to give off the vibe that you do. Down the road when you DO have more success with women, that vibe will internalize and you’ll have a lot less work to consciously do.



YaReally
on May 10, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Original Link

“Anal and oral sex among young women are way up, but hey, it’s not the vagina, so STILL A VIRGIN.”

huge lols over here at that one. SO true!

The number of girls I “don’t count” with and the things I’ve done with them that “don’t count” is retarded. Their current/future guys will have no idea what their innocent angel has gotten up to in the Secret Society.

I’ve actually structured part of my game AROUND using this concept. You know what one of the easiest lays is? Telling a girl who’s into you but has a boyfriend/husband that you have a girlfriend. Instantly neither of you “count” to the other (in her mind) so she opens up and escalates the situ FAST. Like that wave of relief washes over her that you’re in the same boat as her and she doesn’t have to count you as “cheating” because you’re attached and COULDN’T replace her BF.

This is also why girls I meet who are single when I meet them, continue seeing me guilt-free when they DO start dating a guy and get into a serious relationships. I’m set up as the guy who doesn’t count.

Guys who think hot girls aren’t getting laid are dumb. They’re not getting any less laid than you would be if you had dozens of women a day trying to fuck you. But they’re careful about picking guys who don’t count and guys who won’t result in any social repercussions. Ex-BFs, casual fuckbuddies who aren’t a part of their social circle, the cabana boy when she’s on vacation, guys of a different race or who are poor or who have a wife or whatever else is an “automatic” disqualifyer from being boyfriend material to them, etc.

They’ll never admit this on a survey tho lol fuckin science nerds. Half of them could probably pass a lie detector, their hamsters are so powerful.



RappaccinisDaughter
on May 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Original Link

I would be very hesitant to put weight on the results of a study that relied on women to honestly self-report about their sexual histories. I never tell the truth about my “numbers” (although largely I manage this through omission–simply refusing to discuss them–rather than by actively fibbing). I seriously doubt I am alone, because my motivations to lie should be more or less universal.

I lie about my sexual history not because I feel guilt about it; guilt is internal and I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong. (Giving and receiving pleasure with however many adults will consent, in my opinion, is not wrong.) I do this because I feel shame about it; shame is external and I know that there are many among my peers and in society at large who would see me as a lesser person because of my choices.

By contrast, I am generally quite truthful and straightforward when it comes to other matters.


  • YaReally
    on May 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm
    Original Link

    This is why you’ll open up about that stuff to a guy who demonstrates the attitude that he won’t judge you for your sexual experiences the way most of society will… He creates the same comfort as posting annonymously in a blog comment section: you won’t be forced by social pressure into feeling shame for something you don’t feel guilty about in the first place. Classic Secret Society concept.

    This is also why the guys with the Madonna/whore complexes and the “any girl who’s had more than 2 partners in her life isn’t marriage material” guys will never ever know about this side of you. They’ll never truly KNOW you even if you date and marry them.

    This is a really important thing for guys to focus in developing if they want to really push the boundaries of game and social dynamics and REALLY understand the female psyche. I know more about a woman after we’ve had sex once than her significant others, friends and family who’ve known her her whole life know about her, because I don’t judge and she can open up.

    It’s like the Joker in Batman talking about how when he kills with a knife he sees what a person is really like and so in a way he knows them better than their friends do. But, you know, minus the stabbing. Except with my life giving battering ram. lol


    • Anon
      on May 10, 2012 at 5:16 pm
      Original Link

      “the Madonna/whore complexes and the “any girl who’s had more than 2 partners in her life isn’t marriage material” guys will never ever know about this side of you”

      I am one of those guys and I know what you’re talking about and I’ve had women open up to me.

      You underestimate the ability of males to be as duplicitous as females in that matter.


      • YaReally
        on May 10, 2012 at 8:16 pm
        Original Link

        Oh no I agree. I lie too. Reality is I won’t settle down with a girl who crosses specific lines in my own preferences. But I can put the poker face on and create the comfortable judgement free vibe no problem because I understand its importance.

        I started doing it as a way to find out how at risk for STDs I’d be with a chick lol “oh ya you banged that guy from the bar last weekend? That’s so hot babe you’re so dirty i bet you fucked him raw too didnt you, I know you love when a guy cums inside you” and then they rattle off a list of like 10 guys they’ve banged raw that week and I never txt again lol

        I was referring to the guys who have those rules and can’t hide it (LOT of those guys in these comment sections and on MRA sites). The loud blowhard guys who talk about being a big player but very clearly have mental blocks that keep them from being as big a player as they pretend to be.



Tiger
on May 10, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Original Link

Few months ago I met a gorgeous christian girl, grad student, early 20s, who claimed she was saving herself for marriage, and that she didn’t even want to “go into the grey zone”… “for a very long time”.

Date after date (usually her place, to watch a movie) I slowly progressed, from kissing her….to sucking her tits, massaging her ass…to fingering her. But she has resisted my cock. She hasn’t even seen it. She won’t take it out of my pants.

She’s so fuckin hot that I keep pursuing her. But fuck, she’s alright with me pleasuring her, but my cock’s off limits? Retarded. I’m way too busy to meet another chick for the next few months, but how do I persuade her that it’s in her best interests to stop this selfish pseudo-prudish bullshit and get to work on my schlong?

Previous advice was solid (dump her), but more input would be great…dumping her would be my move in any other case.


  • YaReally
    on May 10, 2012 at 9:11 pm
    Original Link

    “She’s so fuckin hot that I keep pursuing her.”

    Well there’s your problem lol

    Anyway, here you go, tho you sound like you have too much of a scarcity mindset to actually do this:

    http://www.bristollair.com/2011/outer-game/pua-routines/closing/how-to-disarm-last-minute-resistance/

    http://www.bristollair.com/2011/outer-game/pua-routines/closing/how-to-disarm-last-minute-resistance-pt-2/

    http://www.bristollair.com/2011/outer-game/pua-routines/closing/how-to-disarm-last-minute-resistance-pt-3/

    Specifically pay attention to Rule 4 which he explains more in Part 2 where he explains the Freeze Out. Read on thru Riker’s Rules for the conclusion where he talks more about Timing the Freeze Out and combining it with Riker’s Rules.

    In your situ I’d have the lights dim, music on, escalate with her and finger her till she’s right on the verge of cumming, then pull out my dick and try to put her hand on it. If she resists then I’d zip up, flip the lights on bright, turn the music off, turn the TV on to a boring News/Sports channel, sit down where I was but with my body language turned SLIGHTLY away from her (closed-off, only takes a couple degrees worth of a turn), not touching her, and act like she’s not there or is a dude-friend and just watch the TV. Not angry, not mad, just taking away all the fun we were having.

    When she asks what’s wrong or accuses me of just wanting sex I’d give a brief explanation (this isn’t a discussion, I’m just saying this is how it is, no big deal) of how I respect her rules and don’t want to get worked up, it’s cool shrug, we can just watch TV. I have specific stuff I say for this that’s congruent to me, you’ll have to figure your own shit out…try starting with Riker’s Rules and experiment from there.

    On a side note, you wouldn’t be in this situation if you had run tighter game leading up to this point. Your escalation was solid, but you didn’t handle her particular ASD so you’re getting LMR. In your defense her particular ASD is going to be hardcore because it’s based in religion…you’re not convincing your buddy who didn’t feel like drinking tonight to have a beer, you’re convincing a guy who killed 3 people in a drunk driving incident and spend 10 years clean and sober in AA to have a beer.

    Something you should consider yourself is: Are you going to just pump and dump her? Is that going to leave her better than you found her? Are you prepared to deal with the aftermath if you DO fuck her? She’s going to be clingy because you made her break her religious rules so to avoid feeling guilty and slutty and like she’s going to burn in hell, she’ll have to demand a “serious relationship/marriage” Ultimatum super early on in an attempt to restore her own image in her mind. Are you prepared to handle all that and help her feel okay with what you two did? Or will you just end up settling into a serious relationship with her when she Ultimatums you? If you DO ditch her, are you going to just leave her feeling like a piece of shit as you strut off carving another notch in your belt? Is it really in her best interest to fuck you? Are you a prize? Will fucking you make her life better or will it fill her with regret and guilt and make her feel shameful?

    Or are you just looking to bang this one because you’re desperate?

    Also this snippet from the articles above makes me laugh:

    “TIME the freezeout CORRECTLY.. this is hard to explain over the internet, but once you’ve tried freezing out like 5-10 chicks you’ll have the hang of it like a sixth sense..”

    How many guys here would risk a lay that’s so close to happening, basically throwing away 5-10 different girls who are one their couch letting them finger them, just to experiment and learn some calibration? Now that’s having an abundance mindset lol


  • Lara
    on May 10, 2012 at 9:15 pm
    Original Link

    If she is inexperienced, and it sounds like she is, she probably has no idea what to do with it. It could be selfishness, but it could also be that.


    • YaReally
      on May 10, 2012 at 11:46 pm
      Original Link

      lol also that. Seriously. That’s why before you throw the freeze-out you try putting her hand on your cock and “helping” her, incase it is just a fear of not knowing what to do. If she responds well, you don’t freeze her out, obviously lol



The Silent Virginity

Original Link

via Heartiste

J
on May 10, 2012 at 10:01 pm
Original Link

Here is a message that a slender, attractive, childless, 42 year-old career woman sent to my profile on Match.com (what a waste of time website!) along with my reply:

Hello, my name is ……., and after reading your profile I’m intrigued.

My profile is purposefully vague, so little bit about me:

I’ve been blessed with a successful, professional career in the corporate world for ~20 years (Information Technology Director for a prominent managed care company, then owned my own business), but I’m an artist at heart. I draw, paint, play piano, and enjoy creative endeavors of any kind. Cooking is also something I enjoy, and I while I like going out, I love nothing more than making a nice meal at home for someone I care about. I’m comfortable at a black tie event, but most of the time you’ll find me in girl-next-door blue jeans and a white t-shirt.

Volunteering is also a passion, and several years ago, I took some time off to volunteer at a community center named after my grandmother, and a ball park named after my grandfather. It has been 33 years since my grandfather passed, but my grandmother is 98 now, and I’m thankful to have that time with her doing work in the community where I grew up. I’m very close to my family, and giving back is very important.

I exercise almost every day in some way or another. Living three blocks from …….. University, I will run around the campus or hit the bleachers if I don’t have time to get to the gym. Things I enjoy: Reading, live music, art galleries & museums, ………… Theatre, Gallery …….., cooking at home (including sushi, which I do 1-2 times a week), dancing, exercise, gardening, volunteering, travel, driving with the top down, riding with friends, kisses that last for hours, and doing almost anything outdoors, whether it’s something planned or completely spontaneous.

On the music front: I try to get out to hear live music as often as possible, and was on the Board of the ……….Music Society for many years. I also enjoy going to the ………….Folk Festival every May, and ………. Fair & ……. Duck when the mood strikes; I also attended the Jazz Fest in New Orleans for the first weekend. (Everything from Cowboy Mouth and Al Green to The Beach Boys and Springstein.) Collecting vintage guitars was a hobby for a while – 1944 Martins and other acoustic instruments. No, I’m not a hippie, nor a folkie, rather, an old-fashioned, conservative girl, who loves life and positive people.

I have an adventurous spirit and love exploring new places & old favorites, and I’ve been fortunate that my career offers flexibility to travel. My mother is Italian (…………), but born and raised in Mexico, and we criss-crossed the country (Mexico and US) growing up, so I love being on the road. We usually drove to Acapulco every summer (Are we there yet?!); however, at some point, I started spending a month or two with my cousins so I could learn to speak Spanish. Entiendo todo mas o menos, pero no hablo bien porque me falta practica.

In short: You’ll find me to be thoughtful, introspective, affectionate and passionate – love to kiss, cuddle and hug – and would like to meet someone special, someone with whom I respect, someone with integrity, confidence, and knows who they are; dull blades need not apply. Though I’m extremely conservative in many ways, I choose to live life without regrets, and believe life is not a spectator sport. My passion extends to many aspects of life, but at the end of the day I’d like to come home to my best friend.

That being said, do give me a call if you would like to chat. If not, I wish you well in your search.

Cheers,

…………..

Thank you for your thoughtful email. You have many varied interests and you have filled your life with work and numerous activities. But at the end of your life, what does it all mean without the experience of being a mother and raising a family? Is anyone in the corporate world going to care about your 20+ years in IT? No, they will just replace you with another worker bee who will continue to feed the corporate machine. Will any of the low-life, do nothing, welfare masses remember that you donated 50% of your hard work in taxes while starting your own business? No, they will continue to spew babies who grow up with no education who continue to parasite themselves on the working class. You value family and you are very close to them, yet you never chose to have one of your own. You fill your life with all these extra-curricular activities, but at the end of the day what does it mean if you don’t have any one to share it with?

Unfortunately, American women have bifurcated into two groups: (1) careerist females that are holding out for the ultimate “Brad Pitt” alpha male and won’t give regular guys a chance while they get older and older. (2) uneducated, promiscuous single moms who go nightclubbing and idolize Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.

Luckily, I can afford to travel out of this country and meet women who have not been fed this feminist agenda of imitating a man. I could care less about a woman’s career accomplishments. I value feminine traits such a dressing up, flirting, being coy, taking care of the house and home, and allowing a strong man to lead.


  • YaReally
    on May 10, 2012 at 11:50 pm
    Original Link

    You’re SO cool!!!

    Seriously though, that was mean and completely unprovoked. You’re kind of a shitty person.


  • King A (Matthew King)
    on May 11, 2012 at 1:28 pm
    Original Link

    … kind of a shitty person … cringed at the pointless cruelty … really vicious and unnecessary cruel, man … way over the top … shitted all over someone … bitter, butthurt and shitty … I don’t get why you felt the need to unload your frustrations with society on this woman. … rather unnecessarily mean …

    Don’t listen to the beta peanut gallery, J. They just can’t appreciate your more pure expression of fuck-em-all alphatude.

    Nice = Good = Beta
    Asshole = Badass = Alpha

    It’s that simple. Ask anyone.

    Matt


    • J
      on May 11, 2012 at 8:30 pm
      Original Link

      Here is her reply to my message on Match.com:

      Hello
      Thank you for your messages. I will admit to being taken aback when I received your initial note, however, my first reaction is you are correct about society and women today; the “progress” has been detrimental. Most put their career before their husband and their family, hence, the values you and I grew up with no longer exist.

      That isn’t me; rather, circumstances gave me a career of 20+ years. You see, I quit my job to focus on starting a family many years ago, and after several years trying to conceive, learned my husband was not able to have children. It’s a long story, but that’s when I threw myself into volunteering, giving back to the community, and creating programs for children.

      My Match profile says “probably not” to children, because it is more important to me to find a partner and best friend, and if we decide collectively to start a family, then that would be wonderful.

      I feel as though I’m rambling. This would be so much easier to discuss over coffee, which I would love to do if you are willing to meet. Again, I agree with you. We have more in common than you think.

      Best,

      ………….

      Hello again ……
      To add to my previous message:

      - It seems most women say they are looking for someone to make them happy.
      - I am looking for someone I want to make happy.

      If you understand that, you may even enjoy chatting over coffee. The ball is in your court.

      Best,

      ………….


      • Anon
        on May 11, 2012 at 8:44 pm
        Original Link

        And nicely done. You played all the betas and females above, plus yareally himself.

        Golf clap.


        • YaReally
          on May 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm
          Original Link

          Didn’t say it wouldn’t work. Still consider him a shitty person.



Case Study – The Great Catch

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 10th, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Original Link

Good observation. That affects one-itis a lot. Ironically it’s the same mechanism that makes a hot girl want the one guy who acts disinterested in her. Even though we’re guys we still respond the same way. It’s important to be self-aware enough to know when you’re falling into this trap.


YaReally
on May 10th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Original Link

If those intelligent introverts would go out more they’d learn that 1) those intelligent HB6′s are just as slutty and likely to cheat on you as the ditzy club miniskirt girl dancing on a speaker and 2) there are 9s-10s who are intelligent as fuck so you’re selling yourself short if you don’t look for the whole package.


YaReally
on May 10th, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Original Link

“you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake”. Ahh fight club, is there any male problem you don’t contain a relevant quote for?

This is good old “I ACTUALLY like this one…” one-itis in action. Rationalization hamster running at full tilt on so many levels, from ignoring her faults to over-emphasizing her attributes to denying his own faults to lying to himself etc. it’s like an intricate machine of self-deceit.

Great breakdown, necessarily harsh. Unfortunately we all know he won’t listen to you because he’s convinced his situation is unique and we just don’t understand. I mean, he’s been laid ENOUGH brahs, you don’t understand…lol

But hell, I was this guy for the first half of my adulthood and I’m still as susceptible to it as anyone else, so I’m not judging. I just hope he makes it out of this in one piece and learns to focus on balancing his relationships with keeping his social skills tight and finding abundance with women instead of turning bitter and becoming an MGTOW


YaReally
on May 10th, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Original Link

Props dude. You did good. She’ll probably flake for reasons that are out of your control so don’t let that bother you. The important thing is how you kept your unapologetically sexual frame with her and plowed through the shit-tests.

When a girl is attracted she subconsciously tries to throw herself out of state so she doesn’t have sex with every guy who turns her on (she has to weed out the betas). A shit-test is that. So you move in for a kiss and she wants to kiss you but her brain makes her say “we’re in a business environment!!!” hoping that you’ll panic and break your frame and she can go “ahh see he’s apologizing now, now I don’t have to be attracted anymore whew!!!”. By passing the shit-tests she’s in her car on a hill slamming on the brakes and realizing they don’t work.

This is why a girl will sometimes blurt out “I have a boyfriend!!” when you’re chatting with her but it’s like out of nowhere in mid-conversation. She’s attracted right there but her brain is like “ah shit fuck this up before you get too attracted!!” meanwhile in your mind you’re just shooting the shit. It’s like a tell in poker. Not to be confused with actual “I have a boyfriend!!” rejections where she’s not attracted. Experience teaches the social calibration to determine the difference between the two when you run into them.

Anyway, you did good. Her going cold on your txts isn’t from mistakes you made, it’s more from a combination of you frying her circuits (when Buying Temperature spikes too high too fast), a state-breaker (massive change of environment from cozy “isolated from the judgement of her peers” and “isolated from her Real Life” airplane rendezvous to the bright harsh lights of being back in the real world), cultural/business hangups, etc. You brought her into a bubble of adventure but that bubble burst when she went back to reality.

These days I don’t even go for the girl’s number when I can tell its one of those “right here right now only” situations. I’ll just push for the lay but if it looks impossible then I just appreciate the moment for what it is and enjoy helping her escape Real Life for a couple hours by giving her an exciting little adventure to tell her friends or fantasize about when she’s back in the hum-drum routine existence of life.


Case Study – The Great Catch

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 10th, 2012 at 8:05 pm
Original Link

“What do you do if a girl hasn’t put out by the third date?”

“I don’t know. It’s never come up.”

“I hate you.”


Case Study – The Great Catch

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 10th, 2012 at 10:07 pm
Original Link

“fell for that one before, waited 2 months before i could get her into bed. Turns out when she was travelling had loads of ONS. I bought into the good girl act. I was being sized up as husband potential.”

This is part of why often having money, looks, a good career, etc. can HINDER getting fast lays. Like the girl wanted to bang the shit out of you (not you specifically, I’m just referring to the general “you” here) when she thought you were just some random fling, but then you picked her up in your Ferrari and drove her to your mansion and showed her your 6-pack abs and her brain goes “ooo, this one has long-term/husband/provider potential!” and she puts you on the slow-track to sex to try to buy herself time to get you to fall in love with her instead of pump ‘n dumping her.

Meanwhile, while she’s slow-tracking you, she’s fucking her ex-BF or some one night stand guy or the cabana boy in Mexico and you’re writing to Rollo asking “how do I get this girl, I respect her rules about not having sex because I only want her for her intelligence!” lol


Female Regret Neutralizer Lines: The Winners

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 7, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Original Link

A lot of guys are focus on having a witty response, like it’ll turn into an episode of Gilmore Girls and the witty zing they throw will have her go “wow that was so clever okay let’s fuck again!!!!”

The reason the first response is the best is because it follows game principles. It doesn’t deny or apologize for anything, he owns the accusation completely unashamed. It doesn’t trigger her ASD because he’s fully taking the blame for what happened (“you were irresistible” = it’s your fault, you slut, you should feel bad about cheating because you were irresistible and made this happen…this would be a decent response to a girl who doesn’t have a BF and is only worried that you think she’s a slut but this scenario is different).

It also cuts the thread ASAP instead of falling into her frame and getting into a “witty” back and forth exchange. Whereas “What?” forces her to write “Fucking” which is just going down a shitty unproductive back-and-forth path where she has to dwell on what she did and what you want her to do again. “What?” is like saying “want to come up to fuck?” instead of “want to come up and watch a DVD?”

Then the follow up comment of “ok” “right” “cool” etc shows abundance and gets her hamster wondering why he isn’t biting and it also doesn’t set up any frame on his end that will fuck him up again…she can read into it whatever she wants like “okay its safe to hang out again” and he can just escalate when he sees her again (he never said “agreed no more fucking”) whereas if he’s all “you want my cock” she can’t meet up again cause she’d have to admit to herself she’s being a slut and willingly walking into a cheating situ instead of being able to say it “just happened” or “it was his fault not mine”

There’s lots of “clever” little zings that sound good on a blog but let’s not throw out the principles of game. They’re tried and tested by a ton of guys. We’re supposed to be aiming darts at the bulls-eye here not closing our eyes and tossing in the general direction of the board.


  • chi-town
    on May 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm
    Original Link

    There is a time and a place for witty responses which are inherently ambiguous, irreverent and punctuated. That is what you want during shit tests. You hold silly shit tests in thinly veiled contempt that is beneath you. That is the principle behind it. Wit is the tool to be used in social competition which is exactly what she is initiating during a shit test. When she says you are not having sex again, she is essentially implying you are not worthy.

    ok is great until you start saying ok after every shit test. You don’t want a big witty exchange either because that unravels the purpose which is to diminish the event. Wit is supposed to be an elevated cut to the chase where too many will undo all its designed to do. Something witty and then “ok” is more than ok.

    I would not go with “cool” at all. You have just accepted her terms.

    If she asks you about your grandma in the hospital, its no place for it. As soon as she warms to your frame, then wit may be quietly put away.


    • YaReally
      on May 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm
      Original Link

      I know what you’re saying, but you have to look at this very specific context. In this guy’s specific situation, she’s not txting him her IHABF stuff because she wants to fuck him but is just testing him, she’s txting him because she feels slutty because he sucked ass at handling Buyer’s Remorse when they fucked. He didn’t make her feel good about the experience because he waited till after to try to do the damage control with her cheating guilt.

      That’s why the witty back-and-forth exchange won’t happen with her. She doesn’t give a shit about him anymore, she’s done and just trying to salvage her reputation in her mind. She is 100% okay with him fucking off so she doesn’t have to feel guilty anymore. Dragging it into making her admit “What?” “Fucking.” “Fucking how?” “When you put it in my ass because I’m a dirty fucking whore :( :( :( ” is counter-productive. It’s just making her re-enforce in her mind how horrible what she did was.

      On top of it he’s doing this via txt message. In person, staring her down, an inch away from her face, isolated from her friends, speaking in a sexy voice, having her admit she fucked you, that could go over fine and turn her on. But not via txt when she’s over there feeling shitty about what she did. She’s not txting him IHABF while she’s fucking herself with a vibrator screaming his name out loud.

      This is a case of “What would you do in this scenario: Your car is spinning out of control, on fire, you’re in the back seat, asleep, with no one driving, and all the doors are open and your seatbelt is off and you’re headed straight toward a cliff…How would you save this situation???” It’s like, you’re already pretty fucked. The way to save that situation was to not get into it in the first place. You made a bunch of mistakes that led to your shitty situation that with more experience, you wouldn’t have made. You’re not gonna salvage it inside the car, your best bet is to GTFO of the car ASAP.

      “Cool” is to cut the unproductive thread so you can get her out again and resume it in person where you can actually fuck her. It’s like a cop saying “We just want to talk to you” to get the guy to put down his gun and come out before the SWAT team jumps him. His ONLY goal at this point is to get her to meet up in person again so he can isolate and fuck her a couple more times to cement their fuckbuddy situ.

      All these fanciful “I’d say this and then she’d beg for my cock and drive over and bang me all night long” stuff is mental masturbation that’s fun to type and high-five eachother over but doesn’t actually play out and lead to the lay in reality…and the reasons are completely logical when you understand them.

      When you look at your response, no offense or anything, but you’re actually letting HER dictate the terms of the relationship with “just fucking or is this goodbye?” stuff. Do you think, when she’s feeling slutty and remorseful about what she did, she’s going to define the relationship in a way that’s beneficial for your goal of fucking her or hers of getting rid of the guilt and/or trying to make you an orbiter?


      • Khal Drogo
        on May 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm
        Original Link

        “All these fanciful “I’d say this and then she’d beg for my cock and drive over and bang me all night long” stuff is mental masturbation”

        Was joking, brah.

        Good stuff though.


        • YaReally
          on May 9, 2012 at 2:38 am
          Original Link

          lol yours actually has the best chance of that happening. I meant more in the comment section here where guys are throwing up stuff that’s just completely miscalibrated.

          Even a lot of the stuff that looks like it’ll get a laugh or reaction out of her is guys shooting themselves in the foot…we’re going for the lay, not a laugh. It’s the equivalent of using a dancing monkey opener, sure, it’ll entertain her and get a smile, but it’s not going to get her panties off.


          • YaReally
            on May 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm
            Original Link

            @Ripp

            “When women send these types of [IHAB/don't txt me/I'm seeing someone] disqualification attempts (after sexual line) they’re in an emotional state of some sort. They’re goal is to recieve a beta response from you to assuage their ego about the situation.”

            Exactly. This is the point some guys are missing. This isn’t a “battle” you can win, she’s in a specific state of mind with a specific outcome in mind. Just PLAYING her game will make you lose her game. You’re not going to turn this around right there in that conversation, especially via txting. She’s not going to sit there with her hamster thinking about fucking you because of your response. She’s not in that zone. All you can do is fuck yourself further.

            GTFO ASAP and re-initiate later when her emotions aren’t crazy and you haven’t made a big deal of whatever her silly attempt to keep you two from fucking was.

            A natural’s attitude is:

            “we are NOT having sex”
            “lol ok”
            (proceed to have sex)

            He doesn’t care what she protests with. It’s like sure lol of course we won’t whatever you say. Because he knows they will.


      • Anonymous
        on May 8, 2012 at 10:22 pm
        Original Link

        I am not doing “cool” over text. That is just crazy, no offense right back at ya. I could see OK because at least you get nonchalant , not approval. In person you could shrug and finish of a beer with a look of boredom and pull “cool” off. Don’t know why you ignored no witty exchanges where I agreed. However I would get across “what’s with being so hung up on the sex thing” and I am going to imply it rather than say it.

        Again the Swiss Army Knife of wit is a tool of indirection. Humor diffuses. Its for indirectly attacking her idea of discussing sex on its own, not triumphalism with her ass at the taxidermist. Implying there is something more meaningful implies its not uncommitted sex, defusing slut defense. The nonchalant attitude means you are not a sex starved beta.


        • YaReally
          on May 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm
          Original Link

          You’re letting her direct the conversation and suck you into her frame, reacting to her and entering a frame battle that’s stacked in her favor by her Buyer’s Remorse.

          It’s not that this can’t be pulled off, it’s that it’s not an optimal or efficient play. It’s making things harder for yourself and taking unnecessary risks. Sure to exit a room you COULD do a lap around it on one leg first, but why not just go straight for the exit?

          We called it Speed Seduction / Fast Seduction back in the day for a reason.


      • Harcourt Mudd
        on May 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm
        Original Link

        So YaReally..I like what you said about those “windows opening” and closing and getting out and maintaining silence if the situation is screwed. I guess my question is, when a girl likes you and even engage in semi-relationship behaviors with you then go silent because you saw them out with another dude—is there even a response or re-opening? It’s been about two weeks and I sent one text the day after but it was acknowledging that things were non-exclusive…was that the bigger mistake than saying hello and making her feel “caught” that night? I mean, I know, when a girl is ignoring you that’s not a good sign. But letting her calm down and get out of that state, is calling the best thing? Should I do some beta stuff to get her to open back up? (If she even picks up if I call…) Text? I get the feeling now that she is mad because I made it seem like I’m seeing a bunch of girls, so so what she out with a dude lol

        I would like to get this back and see where it goes, even if it’s just to flip the script.


        • YaReally
          on May 10, 2012 at 9:42 pm
          Original Link

          “and I sent one text the day after but it was acknowledging that things were non-exclusive”

          Ya, you can already instinctively tell that was your mistake. Here’s the breakdown of why:

          A girl’s biggest fear is judgement. You may have meant the text in a legit “Hey, just letting you know it’s fine, no biggie” but the fact that you texted at all makes her go “Oh shit, this registered as something relevant to him, now we’re going to have to have a big discussion about it and he’s always going to be paying attention to what I do and asking who I’m out with ughhh…” It’s all in her head, but you don’t have enough value to her to make it worth overcoming that. It’s much easier for her to just be like “fuck iiiiit” and not respond to you, the way you might avoid answering the phone when you know it’s your boss at work calling to bitch you out about something. It’s not rational but humans tend to run away from even potential awkwardness if there’s an alternative.

          You’re kind of on the right track when you say you were incongruent…it’s like you said “There’s no TV in this room.” and she went “Okay agreed, there’s no TV.” and then you pointed at the TV and went “If there WAS a TV, it would look like that though.” and now she’s like “Fuck, there’s a TV in the room, I thought you said there wasn’t!!”

          Solid game would’ve been to completely ignore that it happened and just txt her in a couple days arranging plans to hang out (not the next day since she might be fucking him all night and still be at his place covered in jizz and getting railed in the ass raw lol STILL sure you’re TOTALLY cool with your non-exclusive relationship?)

          If you had not texted at all, you might still be fucked just based on her making herself feel guilty, but you’d at least only have her side to deal with (diffusing the guilt she put on herself for being caught with another guy) instead of both sides (her guilt and now your inadvertantly compounding her guilt by acknowledging that something happened worth feeling guilty about) and it’d be an easier situation to salvage.

          The key concept to keep in mind is “Change her mood, not her mind.” Your text tried to change her mind logically (“don’t feel guilty, we’re non-exclusive”), the way you’d change your dude-friend’s mind about feeling bad for doing something you weren’t really bothered by but he feels guilty for. The difference is that that works with dudes ’cause we run more on logic than emotion.

          But the damage is done, so you might as well throw some hail-marys before you give up, in hopes of burning into your brain the importance of avoiding this situation in the future. I’d try not calling or txting her for a couple weeks. If she calls/txts you, cool, but no initiating contact and no beta “I actually LIKE you” bullshit. Then re-initiate with a simple txt trying to arrange plans. If she snubs that txt, you’re probably toast. But what you’re hoping for is a combination of 1) her guilty state settling down, 2) her being relieved that you’re not super clingy-jealous and going to get all needy on her and leave her 5 voicemails trying to logically convince her you’re cool, and 3) her guy turning out to be kind of lame (thus giving her a couple weeks to explore that VS now where he’s automatically awesome simply because she has no self-imposed guilt around him like she does around you) and her realizing that you’re more awesome than him.

          So you need a pretty serious alignment of the planets to save your ass on this one lol And If this other guy is an awesome dude, you’re probably fucked too.

          Good luck though, hope it works out. You just fell ass-backwards into a sticky situation by running into them on their date is all. :)



Scandinavian Guy
on May 8, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Original Link

Hi folks,

I need some text advice. This saturday I was approched by a girl (26 yrs old and a 7,5-8) at a bar. I´m good looking but this rarely happens (I´m 38 but look younger). At the beginning I made a near insult, she asked hows everything, and then I said it was great before you arrived, and then I put my hand on her shoulder implying that I was kidding. She was kind of shocked, but survived I guess.

Then, our conversation continued and it went fairly well. After about 5 min she asked if me and my buddy would like to join her and her 4 girlfriends to go clubbing later that night and I responded that it might be possible. Then we exchanged numbers.

However, Im not really into clubbing anymore, it wouldn´t really help my case I think, therefore I decided not to go ahead with her plans. After an hour I passed by her on my way out and told her that I was leaving but it would be great to stay in touch. I couldnt tell if she was dissappointed or not.

Anyways, yesterday I texted her:

Me (8 pm): Hi “Jenny”, It was nice meeting you saturday. How about get together for a drink later this week?

Her (21 hours later): Hi.. No. I do appologize for saturday, I´m actually seeing another guy and we had a big fight and I was kind of drunk when I met you. So I have to say no to this. Have a great time! / Jenny

So whats your take on this, is there any chance of turning it around?

I have translated the texting to english.


  • YaReally
    on May 9, 2012 at 3:03 am
    Original Link

    lol wow she’s polite. But no, you’re toast sorry!

    A girl will open a “window of opportunity” for you to jump through. Beta guys don’t recognize these windows, or talk themselves out of jumping through them, but players will see even really subtle little windows and jump right on through as soon as they’re open.

    If the guy doesn’t jump through the window, or something happens to break her state (big interruption like the bright 2am lights turning on at the club, too much time passing between contact with you, leaving a dark cozy park bench for a brightly lit pizza place after the bar, you saying something that turns her off, her girlfriends appearing out of nowhere with massive drama she has to deal with, etc.), that window closes and it’s VERY rare, most of the time completely impossible, to open that window again.

    Thing is, that window won’t be obvious like her saying “I want your cock so bad, please come home and fuck me!” It’ll be really subtle like “You guys should come clubbing with us later…” Her “Anti-Slut Defense” won’t let her admit she wants sex, so she has to just leave a subtle clue and hope you’re experienced enough with women to pick up on that clue and realize you should jump through the window.

    Essentially, to a girl, her leaving a window open like that, even if it’s super subtle, is the SAME THING as her throwing herself at you and saying “I want your cock so bad, please fuck me!!” So when you don’t jump through the window, you’re actually rejecting her and shooting her down and she feels just as bad as guys feel when we get rejected by girls at the bar who just go “pfft no.” and turn their backs to us when we try to say “hi!”. It’s that same “oh god I’m so embarrassed, I want to run away and hide in a cave forever now” feeling…that’s why in most cases the window never opens again. They just feel too embarrassed to chance it again.

    This happens EVEN IF they really WANTED to fuck you when they opened the window. Even if they were super attracted and you totally had a shot.

    Your girl opened the window, you let your feelings about your clubbing/your age/etc. convince you not to jump through the window, and when you tried to knock on the window again it was already slammed shut.

    That said, if it makes you feel any better, you would’ve had a helluva time landing this anyway…even if she liked you (which she did, since she approached you and invited you out), following her and her 4 girlfriends to a club they choose automatically puts you in the role of an “orbiter” who follows her around hoping to get some action, especially if you’re uncomfortable in a club these days, and her girlfriends will drag her all over the place flirting with other guys so you probably wouldn’t even get a chance to escalate with her. All of that stuff would’ve made it hard for you to get anywhere with her.

    If you were able to hit the club with them and then ignore her a bit and have fun with your buddy (not sit in a corner looking bored and out of place) and could flirt with other random girls and chat up the bartenders and have fun overall, that could’ve worked out, but it doesn’t sound like you would’ve been in the right mood for that because you’re not really into clubbing anymore.

    Don’t feel bad, you’ve learned a bit about how that “window of escalation” works and that’ll help you in the future with other girls. But don’t waste any time chasing this one, do yourself a favor and delete her number so you don’t even think about her. :)


    • Scandinavian Guy
      on May 9, 2012 at 3:31 pm
      Original Link

      YaReally,

      Thanks a lot for your comments, they sure make sense to me. I just started serious gaming about three months ago, so obviously I´m going to make mistakes along the road.

      I do agree that I might have pulled it off if I would have followed her to the club, but I really didnt feel like partying along for another 3-4 hours with all the distractions following a situation like this. My chances were slim, I knew that from the beginning.

      But, what if I would have just told her right away that I had to get up early in the morning and just hinting for a “drink get together” later on, would that have helped my case or would she still feel “rejected”?


      • YaReally
        on May 10, 2012 at 9:58 pm
        Original Link

        “But, what if I would have just told her right away that I had to get up early in the morning and just hinting for a “drink get together” later on, would that have helped my case or would she still feel “rejected”?”

        There’s a good chance that’d've worked on HER. But you would’ve had to deal with her 4 girlfriends who would’ve had NONE of it so again the logistics would kind of fuck you in the face there.

        The optimal move would probably have been to build a lot of comfort/attraction super-fast when she approached you, rejected the invite to hang out with them by saying something like you already have plans but you two should hang out later, grab her number, then txt her throughout the night when she’s partying. I usually use stuff like “How’s BarX? Been groped by any creepy guys on the dance floor yet lol” where I’m kind of tooling all the guys at that club at once by framing them all as creepers, and setting a sexual tone where if she replies with a pretty common “not yet lol” I can go into “too bad, if I was there I would fix that ;) babysitting my buddy right now tho” and just get into a casual back and forth conversation over txts thru the night, keeping things sexually flirty with lots of innuendo and humor.

        The idea is that the whole time she’s at this other club, you’re escalating via txts and keeping her thinking about you. She’ll turn down most other guys who approach you because she’s already found one she likes and he’s keeping in touch with her and making her laugh and escalating sexually. Plus he’s top secret, she doesn’t have to risk her friends seeing her doing anything because she’s just innocently txting and can say she’s txting her mom or BF or whatever so she avoids social judgement.

        Then later in the night txt her telling her to ditch her friends and meet up with you for last call at Wherever (not the bar she’s at, her friends are still there remember? And not somewhere far away ’cause that’ll give her state a chance to drop…preferably a cozy pub or something near where she is). Build a little comfort when you see her, then just push for heading back to your place (since it’s last call and all, if it’s before last call say let’s save some $ and just drink at my place). If she goes along with it, escalate a bit in the cab but then back off, keep the mood light and playful and flirty. Escalate in your apartment lobby then back off. Escalate in the elevator then back off. etc. She knew what was up when she bailed on her friends to meet up with you so you won’t get much (if any) LMR.

        By waiting to txt her till the next day you missed the window to do all the shit I just described up above. One wrong move makes a big difference, hey? lol

        Don’t beat yourself up about it, the girl was attracted but the logistics in your situation were shit. The important thing is that now you have a possible “plan of attack” for next time. :)



Proof That Power Corrupts Absolutely

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 4, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Original Link

Generation AFC

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via Rational Male

YaReally
on May 2nd, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Original Link

Great article, just in general.

I always feel lucky I discovered game in my mid-20s. I feel bad for guys 45+ starting out because they CAN do it, but fuck their road is a lot of tougher. Not only do they have more external obstacles (divorces, kids to take care of, shitty wives, etc) but they have more internal ones as well (an extra 15+ years of cementing shitty beliefs, solidifying bad habits and mindsets, etc.).

For guys that old, the Manosphere is a better starting point than PUA stuff because they have way more unwiring to baby-step thru before they’re at a point where PUA stuff will be congruent and useful for them. We’ve all seen the rare 50+ badass who gets beautiful women, and often they do it thru lifestyle (the 50yo guy at the club isn’t a creeper when he has social power, status, money to burn, nice clothes/grooming, has interesting stories to tell, knows about interesting places to take girls, and keeps himself in shape…all of that gives him the access to beautiful women where he can THEN run game).

But the divorced out-of-shape dad with 3 kids who’s just come back from a clothes shopping trip at Wal-Mart and doesn’t trim his ear-hair has a ton of work to do before he’s ready to step into that role.

For the older guys reading this tho: it CAN be done if you want it bad enough, just understand that it’s a full overhaul of your life inside and out and will take you years, not months, to handle. Like Fight Club says “hitting bottom isn’t a seminar, it isn’t a weekend retreat”

For the guys 35-: You’re not old yet, don’t use that as an excuse lol hit the field.


How Not To Frame A Text Exchange With A Sexually Regretful Girl

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on May 2, 2012 at 6:45 pm
Original Link

Flawless breakdown. The open window ninja analogy is dead-on and you narrowed down the exact point where he fumbled.

The reason he was even in this situation in the first place was that his after-fuck game was weak. He got the lay, and that’s great, but to get a girl to repeat you have to make sure you aren’t triggering her Anti-Slut Defense and Buyer’s Remorse which can be tricky at first cause most new guys get tunnel vision for the lay.

This is why a lot of naturals have high lay numbers but don’t get repeat business. Their game goes to the bang and then stops and they do shit like instantly go cold on the girl, kick her out of their apartment right after the lay, reveal that they were lying about not being a celebrity, act disinterested in her the next time they see her cause they’re hunting for their next lay, etc. and the girl gets Remorse and often she’ll actively hate him for a while.

Biggest mistake guys make is they fuck a chick and then go “okay how do I make this girl a fuckbuddy?”

The proper approach is to be setting the fuckbuddy frame from the start, way before the lay. That includes stuff like snuffing out the BF-cheating guilt early on instead of waiting till it’s in your face when you’re trying to get the 2nd lay.


  • Khal Drogo
    on May 2, 2012 at 7:49 pm
    Original Link

    “The proper approach is to be setting the fuckbuddy frame from the start, way before the lay.”

    Could you elaborate?


    • Nicole
      on May 5, 2012 at 7:24 am
      Original Link

      It means know who you are and what you’re looking for when you first leave your house. Then behave accordingly. If you’re flexible, then have a plan for any case.

      If you are sure all you want from a girl is sex, then keep that clear from the beginning. Sell yourself based on how great an experience it’s going to be without implying anything emotional.

      If you think you might want more from her, give yourself some wiggle room to explore, but at the same time be able to make a quick exit if you need to. Don’t start out emotional and then switch to dick on a stick all of a sudden, because that produces feelings of regret rather than having her go away with a good feeling and maybe promoting you to other women.

      Be consistent.


      • YaReally
        on May 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm
        Original Link

        Shit lol I can’t believe I’m saying this to a woman in a pickup blog but ya, your whole comment nailed it exactly.

        To explain further in man-terms:

        She should know from the start that you’re just an “adventure”. You don’t “count”. Fucking you isn’t cheating because she knows you’re not boyfriend material at all so she can write you off the way she writes off the cabana boy she fucked in Mexico. This is true in general if you want to avoid a lot of drama from girls, but this is ESPECIALLY true with girls who have significant others.

        If this guy had set the frame from the start that this was going to be a fun adventure, disqualifying himself from counting as cheating, making sure she felt no guilt at all about cheating on her BF, making sure after they fucked that her emotions were in check about it and that she had no regret, etc. he would never have ended up in this situation and she’d be looking forward to their next bang. (you’ll notice there’s a little bit of Secret Society (Tyler Durden, google it) concept in this if you’ve been paying attention, about judgement and good feelings and the difference between being in or out of the Society)

        The fact that she’s shit-testing him out of guilt is exactly what tells me that he fucked up along the way. Maybe he kicked her out too quick after they fucked. Maybe he dropped a comment that made her feel just a little too slutty or like he was judging her as easy/slutty. Maybe he talked about her BF too much instead of just ignoring that she had one at all. There’s a ton of places he could’ve dropped the ball, but her response indicates that he did drop it at some point. If he did a thorough honest self-aware Field Report I could nail down the exact point it happened, but even if he just thinks back himself and runs through the entire experience from start to finish he could probably figure out where the key fuckups were.

        Like Nicole says “starting out emotional and switching to dick on a stick all of a sudden produces feelings of regret rather than having her go away with a good feeling and maybe promoting you to other women”. Dead on. If you were never emotional to begin with and were congruent from the start with being a dick on a stick, you’d get the latter response because she was never deceived.

        In this guy’s situation, maybe he WAS a complete congruent asshole from the start but that’s usually not the case and if it WAS the case then that just makes it easier to analyze because that narrows down the fuckup to post-lay (the time between finishing the fuck and both still being sweaty in bed, and this txt exchange).

        The scariest thing for a woman is that when she fucks you, you’ll turn out to be someone different than she thought and she’ll feel tricked. This is why congruency gets so much attraction, even if you’re congruent to something horrible…she knows the you she’s seeing is the real you. This is also why Naturals who use “I love you baby” game where they just lie to the girl to get in her pants and then go cold on her as soon as they’ve got the notch on their belt, get a lot of girls who hate them because they have Buyer’s Remorse from the dupe.

        If you want to extrapolate this concept to its extreme, what does setting the fuckbuddy frame from the second you say “Hi” say about you? It says you’re a man who knows himself, inside and out, knows exactly what you want out of life (even if it’s just at this moment, with this person), and that you unapologetically go for exactly what you want. That implies that you have a lot of experience with women because you’ve learned what place they hold in your life, and it implies you have a lot of experience as a man because you know yourself so well.

        A bumbling AFC who tries to buy flowers to get in a girl’s pants and tries to approach without getting rejected doesn’t know WTF he actually wants, and doesn’t know how to get it, because he’s never gotten it, because he doesn’t even know what it is he’s trying to get.

        I can get into specifics on how to manage the Buyer’s Remorse before it happens, but that’ll be a long-ass comment lol



A Devious Reply To “I Have A Boyfriend”

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via Heartiste

pliw
on May 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Original Link

i used “gay” once when she was “sick and didn’t want to get me sick”

she said sorry (i didn’t reply) she texted me the next day to hangout (ie: fuck)


  • Lara
    on May 1, 2012 at 1:37 pm
    Original Link

    You assumed she was making it up and that’s a beta attitude. You should have just replied, “Hope you feel better.”


    • YaReally
      on May 1, 2012 at 2:37 pm
      Original Link

      Please quit giving advice until you grow a penis.


    • Lara
      on May 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm
      Original Link

      Maybe I’m wrong. It just seems more alpha to assume a girl would never cancel on you because she didn’t want to be with you.


      • YaReally
        on May 1, 2012 at 9:37 pm
        Original Link

        Maybe I’m wrong but it just seems like rocket science should work THIS way guys!! I read a book I don’t fully understand once and I reeeeeeaaaally want to be a rocket scientist so can’t we just ignore how it works so I can be right??? Please??