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YaReally Archive


Beta Males Then And Now

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SiliconMagician
on May 1, 2012 at 2:49 am
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Frankly I don’t understand all the bitterness on this blog. Cyincism, nihilism, conspiracy theories, basically every negative emotion and idea available. How can men with such negative views of modern American society ever project anything but negative emotions in the women you try to pick up?

I get the feeling a lot of guys on this blog pump and dump women just to get revenge against women for some perceived slight. I can’t be angry at women for them being women and I can’t demonize them the way you guys do.

One can be alpha without seeing women as the enemy and that is what I gather here. Alot of guys see women as the enemy.


  • YaReally
    on May 1, 2012 at 2:34 pm
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    “How can men with such negative views of modern American society ever project anything but negative emotions in the women you try to pick up?”

    Cause 90+% of the guys here don’t actually pick up regularly despite their big talk. A lot of them have had a bit of success here and there but that’s it and a bunch have had barely any to almost no success.


  • Anon
    on May 1, 2012 at 2:52 pm
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    What a bunch of sissy white knights.
    Go to RSDnation if you like modern women so much.

    With all due respect, YaReally, there are bigger players than you who are far more misogynist than anything written on this blog. So the “guys who talk shit about women are just keyboard jockeys who don’t get laid” is just another form of keyboard jockeying.


    • YaReally
      on May 3, 2012 at 3:09 am
      Original Link

      “With all due respect, YaReally, there are bigger players than you who are far more misogynist than anything written on this blog.”

      I’m aware. I hang out with those guys.

      The difference between them and the angry guys on here is that they think the Internet is for fags. They aren’t on pickup forums ranting about how evil women are or debating what to reply when a girl says she has a boyfriend.


      • Firepower
        on May 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm
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        One more “As Tyler Durden says inFight Club
        post from you
        and you’re getting sent back to Stylelife Kindergarten.

        Once heartsete mentioned you
        Wise men knew:
        Monster has been created
        Yodaquotes far not behind
        they were…


        • YaReally
          on May 4, 2012 at 3:35 am
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          I always enjoy your poems.



Samuel
on May 1, 2012 at 11:44 am
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this problem in the OP translates to sausage fests when we go out, and makes it tough for average joes to compete against the ideal males, further sprouting more drop-outs who’d rather stick with porn of hot chicks than to touch the skin-crawling leftovers.

Srsly, give me hot chicks, or give me death.

[heartiste: you have to be smart about your venues for meeting women. coffeeshops are still 2:1, sometimes 3:1, women to men. nightclubs are bad. lounges are ok. bars before 11pm are good. bars on weeknights are good, but in a different way: girls who go out on a weeknight are def looking for love. and of course, you can't beat the street for finding a cornucopia of cooch.]


  • YaReally
    on May 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm
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    A woman will only look hotter and more done up on her wedding day than she does in a nightclub.

    Some of us are shallow enough for that to make it worth gaming in nightclubs instead of coffee shops lol

    To each his own. She may not look as hot on a Sunday afternoon with no makeup on but I don’t want her past that night’s hookup anyway.



Comments Of The Week: The Parallel Universe Of Alpha Males

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peckerwood
on April 26, 2012 at 2:26 pm
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Being good friends with several naturals (of whom, at the time, I was as good looking, smart, and rich), I think game is important for me to realize that it’s not about what I lacked in terms of definable material world goods, but what I lacked in terms of confidence or alpha traits. It’s funny that, even as they were pulling in girls left and right including engaged chicks, married women, and “good girls who just want to wait (except for when they’re with alphas),” I still had the pedestalized ideal in my mind*. At least I still keep in shape and am not “going my own way,” I can learn. Thank God I never got married.

BTW, bitches love triceps.

*-oh yeah, and their married sex life is more, ah, adventuresome than you can imagine.


  • demirogue
    on April 26, 2012 at 2:49 pm
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    For a lot of guys with self esteem problems, they fall into the trap of dating seriously messed up women. And it further instills in them that being alone is much better than being in those types of arrangements. Especially if they conclude that’s all that’s out there or that’s all they can get. Fellas, if your early and mid experiences with women are bad, then you give up because those years put such memories of examples of what women really are. Whether personally dealing with or objectively looking at because that’s all one knows.

    BTW, if men are fucking married women, then they are part of the problem. I have no issue in having their nutsacks cut off and shoved into their mouths while they bleed to death. What you and many fail to realize is men like that are no different than white knight manginas. They both will toss men under the bus to get what they want. BROS BEFORE HOS.


    • Ripp
      on April 26, 2012 at 9:10 pm
      Original Link

      “if men are fucking married women, then they are part of the problem.”

      Somewhat disagree. You’re making a sweeping generalization that entirely faults the man for this action. It also assumes the man had knowledge of the marriage.

      Women bear responsibility for their actions as well.

      Further it should be noted that a cheating married woman is always a risk given her biology to be driven by emotions which can be energized to seduce her into a disregard for loyal commitments.

      A “marriage” is simply a legal constraint, a series of social/family acknowledgments and some religous banter sprinkled in. After a short duration, say 6 to 18 months the behavior between the spouses is similar to an LTR of any kind: except a legal binding still remains.

      If wifey stays attractive and hubby beta’s out and stops managing the LTR…hypergamy sets in wifey and the cycle is perpetuated of her lookin for alpha cock.

      Can’t really blame the alpha who saw a mark and took it down one night.


      • DiamondEyes
        on April 27, 2012 at 11:01 am
        Original Link

        This argument that alphas should have no moral compunction about knowingly fucking another man’s fiance or wife is the argument that alpha men should be just as solipsistic, amoral, and lacking of integrity or honor as the whores are. In other words we should be like the cunts we chase. I strongly disagree. I think getting laid at every opportunity just makes you a cad and a slave to your dick. Getting laid when you want to, on your terms, but not needing to make that the top priority is alpha. Quality, not quantity. If you HAVE to fuck a woman whether she is married or not, you are still a pussy-slave, and in my mind a beta. And, if she is married or engaged to a beta or omega, just how hot is she anyway? She’s probably a fucking swamp donk.

        Preserving your innate integrity and values no matter what happens externally is supremely alpha.


        • YaReally
          on April 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
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          Mine is gorgeous. She’s going to bring her wedding dress over before the wedding because I won’t ever get married and this is my chance to fuck a bride lol

          Fully aware I’m going to hell.



Masculine Game Vs Feminine Game

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YaReally
on April 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm
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“there’s a big difference between acting like a funtime drama queen pushing girls’ buttons until they’re chasing after you”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkW_8nOZe7c – Around 6:50 is where he gets deep into the consequences of running feminine button-pushing “you’re like the girls from Glee” game. “If you want to play hard to get, you have to play hard to get to the end”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKHkRJSgaDw – Describing “real masculine polarity”.

“the question is if one is better than the other.”

The answer is no. It doesn’t matter which style of game you run as long as you are 100% congruent with it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO02ZXSmo9g – on Congruency

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW0m1DWqMVg – more on Congruency

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb7vBGk2Vd8 – being real VS using a “shtick”

This is why the asshole can run asshole game flawlessly, but the super nice nerd running asshole game gets weird reactions from girls (until down the road he’s congruent to it). Being an asshole is incongruent for the nerd and he’s giving off subtle sub-communications setting off her red flags. She doesn’t necessarily know WHAT’S off with him, but she just gets the vibe of “mmm no something is weird here, I have a boyfriend sorry, I have to go”

Look at someone like Bruce Lee. You might not know anything about fighting, but you can’t watch his videos or read his work and not respect him as someone who’s expressing himself authentically. Take someone like Russell Brand, you might not respect how flamingly campy gay he comes across a lot of the time, but you can’t say he’s not being 100% authentic and congruent (thus his insane lay count). Take someone like Tyler who’ll go up to girls and talk about nutrition and the latest health kick he’s on because he finds it fascinating. The girl might not give a shit about nutrition but she can tell he’s expressing himself and gets attracted and starts writing down different health supplements and shit he talks about trying to qualify to him lol

Take George Clooney, girls might not like that he doesn’t want to get married and that he’s an eternal bachelor, but he’s 100% congruent to it so he gets attraction. Compare that to Tiger Woods who was completely incongruent, and look at the reaction he got from everyone when he got “caught”.

This is a hard concept to grasp, especially for the newbie, because when you boil it down it’s basically that bullshit “just be yourself” advice your mom gave you that didn’t do shit for the first 20+ years of your romantic life. But basically now we’ve deconstructed exactly what “just be yourself” means, what the principles are behind it, why it works, what the core concepts to remember and focus on are, etc. and distilled it into something logical and consistently repeatable…which is really the whole goal of the PUA community from the start: the deconstruction and classification/explanation of confusing concepts with regards to attraction.

“Masculine Game is iteration #2 of game, which intrigues me, because that presupposes there were deficiencies with Feminine Game (iteration #1) that needed rectifying. I would like to know more about the latest developments in this area.”

The main down-sides with iteration #1 were:

1) You’re generally not being authentic or expressing who you really are. This was a HUGE part of why people were like “sooner or later she’ll find out you’re just putting on an act!!” stuff. A lot of PUAs would end up in a frustrating place where they could get attraction and they could get laid, but the girls liked the Superman version of themselves and they felt they had to hide the Clark Kent.

ie – Do you REALLY watch Glee? Really? Do you really think that girl is the Sex in the City Samantha of the group? Do you really need a female opinion? Probably not. Again, it still WORKS, it’s just that it causes you to start building a dual personality.

2) You come off super flamingly gay to everyone lol You still get your results, and that’s cool, but ehhh, it’s kind of embarrassing to act like that if it’s not your natural personality. Picture a badass rough looking biker dude macking on a chick. If he starts cold-reading her as Glee characters, I mean ya, he might take her home, but it’d be pretty hard to admire that guy as a man.

3) It does venture into the “supplicating to get laid” territory that anti-gamers rant about where you’re acting a certain way just to get laid. Masculine game is very polarizing. Your number of notches on the belt will probably go down as you learn to express yourself this way, but the quality of the girls you get will go up because you’ll be getting girls who are attracted to who you ARE as a man.

4) You can never really stop playing feminine game if it’s not who you are to the core. So when you get into a relationship, unless you’ve fully become a Glee-watching “like omg” guy, you’ve got to keep the “shtick” up. You can do it, but it’s a lot more work than learning to express your true self.

5) It’s pretty outcome dependant. You’re pushing her buttons needing a certain reaction from her. If it hits, awesome, if it doesn’t, you bomb pretty bad.

Again you can use it, and it works, but after you get a few notches on the belt most guys realize that they aren’t really fixing anything with themselves, they’re just covering up some messed up internals with flashy external game. And at first, fuck it, who cares, that rules, who gives a shit about authenticity and blah blah, I’m gettin’ pussy for the first time in my life and it’s just falling from the fuckin’ sky wooooooo!!!!!!!!111

But most guys end up in a place where they realize how much of their life game encompasses outside of just getting pussy and once pussy becomes less important to them because it’s abundant they go “What next?” and realize they should be working on themselves internally to gain a congruency in their life in general. This is actually the part that MRAs/MGTOWs seem to leap to. Except they skip a lot of important shit (like learning to cultivate a love for women despite their faults) so they end up fixing the rest of their lives but never actually get the relationship stuff handled…but most of them don’t care by that point, so it works for them. From a PUA perspective though, they’re limiting themselves.

“I find myself using techniques from both schools of thought, and adopting both attitudes in measure when it suits me, or the moment calls for it.”

It’s good to be flexible like this. Guys should experiment with both styles of game and see what they feel more natural with. But too many guys are too focused on their “pickup batting average” to dare fucking around with new stuff. That’s part of why Tyler and the RSD guys are pushing the evolution of pickup, as soon as they narrow down something that works, they throw it out and try something completely different. Tyler’s not scared to not get laid for the sake of testing out new ideas. None of us should be, either.

A lot of guys fall into the trap of “that’s just not me” and won’t experiment with their identity. These are the James Bond guys standing stone-faced on death row at the bar in their stripey dress shirts who don’t get laid, and these are the dancing monkey Glee guys who keep getting “I have a boyfriend”ed and friend zoned. They’ve labelled themselves with an identity before truly experimenting with the different styles, and they’re scared of the social pressure of being judged for acting incongruent as they explore different identities to find what works for them.

“As a very basic guiding principle, it could be said that Feminine Game is both early game and pre-relationship game — the game you use to attract women and the game you incorporate up until the point you start having regular sex with your lover. Conversely, Masculine Game is mid game, as well as relationship game — the game you use to draw a woman in during the comfort and seduction stage, and the game you incorporate into a serious relationship, when your lover needs to see stronger signs of your commitment, loyalty and strength.”

ah shit, no. This whole paragraph is in the wrong mindset lol I understand what you’re trying to describe here (be a little more dancing monkey to get her attention, then display manly dominance once she’s hooked) but this is actually encouraging incongruency.

A guy who’s incongruent is, to women, like a smokin’ hot girl that every once in a while suddenly becomes a hideous fat hairy ugly chick for a second is to us.


  • Mukluk
    on April 25, 2012 at 11:40 am
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    Wow. Try succinctness on for size.


    • Anon
      on April 25, 2012 at 1:27 pm
      Original Link

      Fuck off.


      • Mukluk
        on April 25, 2012 at 2:45 pm
        Original Link

        Good example.


        • YaReally
          on April 30, 2012 at 5:44 pm
          Original Link

          lol


  • Listener
    on April 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm
    Original Link

    Re: Congruency

    The first time I met this one beautiful/self-possessed/etc girl who later became my girlfriend, I barely noticed her. There were a number of us out at a restaurant, and I was ranting about modern art to a friend of mine. Ranting about modern art is one of the most natural things in the world for me.

    The girl contacted me for a get-together. I would have forgotten about her.


    • YaReally
      on April 30, 2012 at 5:55 pm
      Original Link

      Congruency + authentic expression on your part.

      Early PUA thinking was “be enthusiastic but talk about what she’d be interested in” (this the early indirect openers asking about relationship problems). But the stereotypical jock types were still getting girls despite their jokes being dumb and their topics being stupid so it didn’t fully jive.

      Now we’ve realized it doesn’t matter what you say, it just matters that you think it’s interesting/important, once your internals are handled. This is why the group of loud jocks at the bar who all riff off eachother with retarded in-jokes that logically aren’t funny but that THEY think is the most brilliant awesome shit in the world, get attraction from the girls around them.

      This expands into the concept of bringing a girl into your world VS trying to get into her world…which is why a skinny angsty emo artist type (like the guys who give off the Johnny Depp vibe) can get attraction despite seemingly not having any traditionally attractive characteristics. He’s so authentic and intense about his reality that other people are sucked into it.


  • Dr. Punani
    on April 26, 2012 at 7:12 am
    Original Link

    YaReally, I really like your posts, as a psychologist I see that you understand the human psyche well, but most important you understand yourself very well. This is the most important part of inner game, exploring your own self.

    “A lot of guys fall into the trap of “that’s just not me” and won’t experiment with their identity.”
    I can tell you from personal experience that experimenting with your own identity takes up allot of courage. Very few people dare to take this adventure and they do not like to step outside of their comfort zone. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it type of mentality.
    I have tried everything in the book, from being an asshole having allot of women chasing me, the simple needy nice guy that repels women and everything in between. All the knowledge and calibration material I have now is just amazing but it takes allot of self-sacrifice in the name of research.

    Life is short, have some fun with it, try new things.


    • YaReally
      on April 30, 2012 at 6:21 pm
      Original Link

      “but most important you understand yourself very well. This is the most important part of inner game, exploring your own self.”

      You’d probably be surprised how many people instantly label me as completely self-delusional for being a PUA. They think we just shut off our logic and brainwash ourselves with positive affirmations and fake beliefs (“looks don’t matter!”) to avoid having to process any negative thoughts that might slow our progress.

      Those people are usually people who haven’t voluntarily put themselves through a massive identity overhaul. I’m more self-aware than anyone I meet. I know exactly why I think/react how I do to different things, but I also know what parts of that are important or beneficial for achieving a goal. This self-awareness and the skills of self-analysis were driven into me from years of massive massive field experience. You can’t improve if you don’t break down your interactions at the end of the night and figure out what went right/wrong.

      “I can tell you from personal experience that experimenting with your own identity takes up allot of courage. Very few people dare to take this adventure and they do not like to step outside of their comfort zone. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it type of mentality.”

      100% agree. Even when you do experiment you tend to fall into re-labeling yourself with a new identity and then stagnating within THAT. This is why a PUA who starts believing he’s an amazing PUA will often suddenly stop doing well with girls. Because now he’s created the identity of “I’m good with women” and he starts avoiding doing anything that could puncture that identity, like approaching or tackling difficult sets. He has to then break out of this new identity.

      A subtle theme in Fight Club addresses this. After Fight Club is started, the author starts viewing himself as enlightened and better than everyone else. All he’s done is created a new identity to trap himself in. Later he creates the identity of “guy who co-founded Fight Club” (thus he’s hurt when Tyler gets all the credit) and “BFF/protoge of Tyler” (thus he’s hurt when Angel gets Tyler’s attention), etc. The movie Revolver addresses it in the final scenes when his ego is telling him what to do based on the identity he’s created for himself (“im scared of elevators”) and he forces himself to not listen to it anymore.

      We should always remain fluid and open to change in ourselves. Once you label yourself you begin to put rules on your behavior. “I’m an asshole now! So I can’t compliment that girl because assholes don’t do that!” is just as limiting as “I’m a nice guy! So I can’t be an asshole to that girl because nice guys don’t do that!”. This is a mindfuck for a lot of advanced PUAs when they run into it.

      This is why my mindset isn’t “I believe looks don’t matter”. My mindset is “My experience and the combined experience of thousands of PUAs approaching girls, has demonstrated that looks don’t matter.” My identity isn’t tied to that the way a bodybuilder tends to be tied to “looks matter”. If tomorrow there were enough reference experiences to show looks mattered, I would change my mindset because I try to keep my identity flexible.

      (I was just this weekend hanging with a 5’0″ natural buddy who had our smokin hot tall waitresses (wearing schoolgirl outfits that make every guy in the place drool) fawning over him and ignoring me, one of them wanted to hang out with him after her shift was done. He’s got phenomenal game, I’m always inspired when I hang with him cause this wasn’t a fluke incident, I’ve seen him landing smokin hot girls a bunch of times)


  • Hi
    on April 30, 2012 at 12:46 pm
    Original Link

    I realize you wrote a lot, but damnit if I don’t need to read more about congruency. I don’t get it. As I’m reading you, your formulation for congruency seems so rigid that it would leave no room unpredictability, mysteriousness, change-up game, and the like. What are the metes and bounds of congruency in game?


    • YaReally
      on April 30, 2012 at 6:56 pm
      Original Link

      “your formulation for congruency seems so rigid that it would leave no room unpredictability, mysteriousness, change-up game, and the like.”

      Congruency is a large concept. Think of it as a huge shell that covers everything. Long as what you’re doing falls within that shell, it goes over well. But while your actions are well-defined, that shell is kind of abstract. Confusing hey?

      My shell is “I don’t care what people think”. So when I wear a fuzzy hat or a pink shirt or an Armani suit to a dive bar, I’m signaling that. But if someone teases me about my outfit or I get socially pressured to change it, my next action determines whether I’m congruent. If I laugh it off and continue to fully believe what I’m wearing is awesome, I’m congruent to that shell. If I get self-conscious and my state drops or I run home to change my clothes, I’m not congruent to that shell. This is why peacocking can spike a ton of attraction if you’re congruent to it, but it can destroy you if you’re not.

      Shell: “Chick drama is silly, I don’t like drama in my life.”
      Stimulus: “Chick gives you drama”
      Congruent: “Ignoring it or scolding her for bringing it up.”
      Incongruent: “Getting invested in it.”

      Shell: “Looks don’t matter.”
      Stimulus: “You see a hot girl while you’re not dressed well and your hair is messy and your BMI isn’t the perfect %”
      Congruent: “Approach her as confident as if you were in a suit.”
      Incongruent: “Make excuses not to approach, and go hit the gym telling yourself “next time!!!”.”

      Shell: “I am enough. I’m a high value male, I’m the prize, and any woman would be lucky to get a chance to be with me.”
      Stimulus: “Talking to a girl.”
      Congruent: “Talking about whatever you want or what interests you or making jokes that make you laugh even if you know she probably won’t think it’s funny. Being willing to lose the set for the sake of self-amusement.”
      Incongruent: “Trying to think of something to say that she’ll be interested in, referencing Glee characters, being scared that she’ll walk away at any second.”

      Shell: “I don’t attach my self-worth to my masculinity or compare myself to other alpha males to determine how high value I am.”
      Stimulus: “You’re Russell Brand.”
      Congruent: “Camping it up and embracing your silly feminine tendencies and wearing crazy outfits.”
      Incongruent: “Toning it all down and trying to act like James Bond or get jacked up to try to have football player muscles.”

      So congruency is a combination of beliefs and actions. The “shells” are basically your own personal values, beliefs, morals, experiences, etc. But they’re different for everyone. Your shell might be “fucking a married girl is wrong” where mine might be “fucking a married girl is okay”. Your shell might be “cheating on my partner is okay” where mine might be “cheating on my partner is dishonest, I’d rather set up an open relationship from the start”.

      This is why everyone loves characters like Stiffler or Finch from American Pie or Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother. Sure their beliefs aren’t most people’s, in fact they may directly oppose them, but the character is 100% congruent to them so we respect that and girls are attracted to it.

      The catch in all of this is that most guys aren’t self-aware enough or haven’t challenged themselves enough to know what their own “shells” are. Most guys are wishy-washy and indecisive and don’t know what behaviors they do/don’t accept from themselves and from other people. They just ping pong along through life bouncing off stimulus and going with the flow. They have no strong core identity to be congruent to.

      This is why a guy with street smarts is often more attractive than a guy with book smarts. The guy with street smarts knows himself and has developed his own code of “shells”.

      You’ll find most naturals have really solid “shells” they’re congruent to. They can even be totally misguided “gym tan laundry is what gets the girls!!!” but they’re so congruent to them that they get attraction.

      Of course my comment right above this talks about not trapping yourself in a rigid identity, so how do you reconcile the two seeminly opposing concepts?

      Well a “shell” is something so over-encompassing that it’s a belief or value that sticks with you despite tweaking your identity. So my “shell” might start out as “I don’t care what anyone thinks” but as I put myself in more situations and gain more reference experiences and test myself more I may learn more about myself and that “shell” may become “I only care what people I respect think” which, whether you’re dressed in a fuzzy hat or a polo shirt or whether you’re an asshole or a nice guy, that “shell” holds.

      This is why when I run into guys who have limited beliefs I tell them not just to go out more but to meet a bigger variety of people and put themselves in a bigger variety of situations outside their comfort zone. If you’re an Armani suit guy and you only hang out in the Armani crowd at Armani bars, you’ll solidify your identity as an Armani guy and take up the beliefs of that crowd. Whereas if you make sure to drop into sketchy dive bars and learn to interact with the complete opposite crowd, NOW you can look at “what are the commonalities that hold up between these two crowds”. The more experience the better.

      I think this is a big part of why movie stars go visit Ethiopia and shit. To escape the Hollywood bubble that’s defined their values and beliefs most of their lives.

      Hope this helps. Happy reading lol



whorefinder
on April 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm
Original Link

What works?

The sterotype of the “Mystery”-method is not the reality of it. Anyone who’s read Neil Strauss’s the game knows that. Mystery’s method was to stand out completely, and then be unimpressed and brave. However, Mystery’s method of standing out and being unimpressed and brave started to become rote and predictable; if every guy hitting on the stripper does the same routine and looks desperate for attention, she becomes immune to it. In short, those who were late latching onto to the “fashions” of the Mystery method were akin to those people who buy “the latest fashion” from JC Penny—they make the high-end buyers look cheap, and make such high-end buyers move onto a completely different “fashion” that JC Penny can’t copy yet.

Hence why more “masculine” game came to the forefront—again, it was about standing out, being brave, and being unimpressed, but wasn’t what everyone was doing.

However, the trouble with “masculine” game is that if a guy wants to, he can “out man” you to a lady. Since you’re trying to appear alpha, being embarassed or feminized by a man in public kills a masculine game—and many a white knight or dickhead will try to do just that. In contrast, the more you make fun of a Mystery-type game as “unmanly”, the stronger it becomes—because the Mystery game is about going around the caveman ideal.


  • YaReally
    on April 25, 2012 at 1:20 pm
    Original Link

    Russell Brand said in an interview that when he’s around “manly men” types he actually goes MORE camp and fruity gay on them.

    He takes himself out of the “manly one-upsmanship” contest completely and his fruity vibe makes the masculine guy uncomfortable which makes that guy look reactive/insecure.

    It’s a smart strategy but it’s also congruent to Russel’s personality.


    • whorefinder
      on April 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm
      Original Link

      Yeah, but Brand is actually a lefty-faggy-tool, not merely a gamesmen. The best way to deal with that is to treat them as you would any attention-whoring girl in a group:

      “Ok, who brought their little sister?” Then disqualify those girls who defend such immaturity. Chicks hate being thought “less mature” and will easily send away a queenish interloper if it makes them seem more grown up.

      Alternatively, you could merely intimidate the little fag, but an unfunny, untalented loser like Brand has probably learned to not show fear or stop his act—so you’d be forced to punch him out.


      • YaReally
        on April 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm
        Original Link

        “Alternatively, you could merely intimidate the little fag, but an unfunny, untalented loser like Brand has probably learned to not show fear or stop his act—so you’d be forced to punch him out.”

        Russell Brand is fully equipped to handle socially uncalibrated angry judgmental guys like yourself. :)



Trebuchet Warrior
on April 25, 2012 at 12:28 pm
Original Link

Really interesting.
I’m 22, and to be frank, a lesser alpha. Still Learning.
I know this guy. Absolute fucking homo, but attracts chicks all the time. I mean he’s uncomfortably HOMO. Feminine voice, idiosyncrasies, preteen girly mannerisms, manicured hands, frail guy without a hint of roughness in the skin. An absolute poof. He walks around hifying/slapping guys on their ASS for chrissakes. But he’s a ladykiller. He is hyper, approaches like he has 2 tonne cojones, builds comfort like a pro, and negs them as good as any gay guy can. Come to think of it. He’s exactly like your post on “gay guys got game”. I can never do that man.
My game is
1. Approach Quick
2. Get to an Alpha reclining pose leaning away from her
3. Talk a bit don’t matter what – (I’m thinking to myself this is a stinky vaj girl, so I’m smirking and lookin a bit repulsed at the same time. Thats my inner game – stinky ass vaj girl)
4. stare a girl down till she’s wet
5. talk exactly like Clint Eastwood’s drawl
6. get her home

By the way apocalypse opener SUCKS DUUDE. First off approaching is tremendously scary. Secondly, no girl falls for it. Dunno if its me or the game, but the score is 23 – 3 (No troll, honest).
The 3 girls who I scored were all clearly skanks. They were drunk. So they pumped and dumped me.


  • YaReally
    on April 25, 2012 at 1:28 pm
    Original Link

    “Dunno if its me”

    It’s you. No offense intended. There are subtle reasons why/when the apocalypse stuff works. But if you’re doing alright without it, don’t worry about it…you don’t have to make every technique work. Down the road in like a year when you’ve hit a plateau with your skillset and need to mix things up, give it another go for fun.



Another Experimentally Confirmed Game Concept: Influencing Perception

Original Link

via Heartiste

lzozozlzozozol

here is howwsz i control da perfeptions and clear clubs of all the douchebag dudes and get rid of all the dueszz in da club lzozzl zlzozoozozozolzoz

THESE ARE NOT DA COCKAS YOU ARE LOOKIG FOR, MOVE ALONG!


  • YaReally
    on April 24, 2012 at 9:27 pm
    Original Link

    This is actually “Frame Control” in action. You can do stuff like this to people (on a smaller scale), but it can be a pretty big mind-fuck the first few times you do it lol



DonaldMcRonald
on April 24, 2012 at 12:15 am
Original Link

This is the first post I don’t completely agree on. For one, fame is not applicable to 99.9% of men, so it is a moot point trying to discuss it. Secondly, there are many famous people with ugly spouses (Lamar Odom with 5/10 Khloe Kardashian, many alternative rockstars with ugly girlfriends, the list can go on). In my own personal experience, I had a friend that was president of my college fraternity, went on to be the president of IFC (all the fraternities on campus) and has 1800 friends on Facebook. This guy had sex with 2 girls and had sex maybe 20 times in his life. On the other hand, the biggest players in the frat were the least involved dudes who actually weren’t big socialites.

Finally, the most successful I have ever been with picking up girls is when I am travelling or by myself in a new bar or city. Obviously, I would have zero social proof. I can’t really put a finger on why this happens, but a lot of my buddies share this experience.


  • YaReally
    on April 24, 2012 at 9:38 pm
    Original Link

    Unfortunately, having fame doesn’t mean you have game. In fact, having fame often means you don’t develop game because you have girls approaching you so why would you NEED to develop game?

    “Finally, the most successful I have ever been with picking up girls is when I am travelling or by myself in a new bar or city. Obviously, I would have zero social proof. I can’t really put a finger on why this happens, but a lot of my buddies share this experience.”

    Main factors involved in this:

    1) You give yourself permission to behave in a more outgoing, carefree, aggressive way because you’re in a different environment where you don’t have to worry about your social reputation. ie – you’re not in your regular bar where you subconsciously worry that your buddies or the staff or the regulars there who see you all the time will judge you for getting shot down or creeping girls out or being too grabby etc. So by default you’re behaving in a more attractive manner.

    2) The girls know you’re not from around there, so you “don’t count” as a lay. You’re like the cabana boy they fuck when they go on vacation to Mexico. They know they’ll never see you again so they don’t have to worry about you coming back and fucking up their reputation, so they’re more inclined to let loose and fuck you with no LMR/ASD. This is why tourist-heavy cities like Vegas are overflowing with tourists fucking other tourists, whereas in a small remote town with just a couple pubs where everyone is a regular and people have to worry about their reputations and social judgement, the LMR/ASD is way higher.

    3) You’re more excited to be there because you’re in a new environment. It’s not the same monotonous bar you’ve been going to for 5 years with the same people, the same staff, the same layout, the same music, the same crowd, etc. You’re in some new environment where everything is exciting and interesting to you and the women all seem better than the ones back home and you’ve been on an adventure travelling and making alpha decisions about where to go and what to do, etc. etc. and that vibe comes off you and the girls pick up on it. Think of the energy you have on your first day at a new job in a new office VS on a random Tuesday morning at a boring cubicle job you’ve been doing for 10 years.

    4) The girls are excited to meet “new guys”. They’re bored with the guys they’ve been around, whether they’re tourists or locals, you’re new fresh meat and a change from the guys they’re used to.

    There’s more, but those are the main ones. It’s not an unexplainable phenomenon. :)



whorefinder
on April 24, 2012 at 8:39 am
Original Link

Yeah, all you need to know about fame is two words:

Kato Kaelin.

Two more:

Scott Baio.

In any event, I learned this lesson firsthand way back in 9th grade. I did a school play where I added a few funny actions to my character, and I could see a few girls in the front row staring at me hardcore, despite the fact that I wasn’t even the lead or the center of attention at any time. That night, I made out with one of them (principal’s daughter!) and got a couple of numbers. And these girls walked past me every day before that, with neither a second glance or a nervous tittering giggle.

Fame works, boys.

Or, as the guys from the band Poison put it so well, “Anyone who gets into rock music and tells you it isn’t to get laid is lying.”


  • King A (Matthew King)
    on April 24, 2012 at 12:40 pm
    Original Link

    Speaking of freshman year, back in ninth grade I was the lead in a dopey little one-performance play-skit. Damn did the junior-high groupies giggle and swarm.

    Fame isn’t just tingle-inducing for teenagers, it starts in infancy and is highly relative. Watch a kid go apeshit for some minimum-wage laborer in a fluffy costume they saw on TV. Barney gets ass. That dude from Blue’s Clues? Forget about it. Moms would pay for the honor of their kids’ getting molested by Steve.

    The practical application is to adopt the aloofness of the famous, with an assist from third parties’ attention (wingman, social proof, entourage, peacocking, familiarity by the regulars ["Norm!"]) whenever possible. To actually be famous, though? Why bother? The desired reaction is visceral and easy to inspire through deliberate, fraudulent means.

    The king always enters last, after his procession. Like a bishop in his cathedral, the captain of a ship, the main event on a fight card, the keynote speaker, or the honored guest: LILO.

    Matt


    • YaReally
      on April 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm
      Original Link

      “The practical application is to adopt the aloofness of the famous, with an assist from third parties’ attention (wingman, social proof, entourage, peacocking, familiarity by the regulars ["Norm!"]) whenever possible.”

      This was Mystery’s approach to game in a nutshell. Mystery Method is still the best/most efficient way to work together as a group. This is why a lot of his tactics involved introducing girls to your wings, telling DHV stories about your buddy, etc. Unfortunately, it requires a group of like-minded guys who are all into studying pickup and on the same page to pull this off…most dudes aren’t living in Project Hollywood and going out with top PUAs every night. Most of us are stuck either solo or with a few buddies who have no game or are naturals and think game is over-thinking.

      So other PUA schools went down different paths, with a lot of them focusing on going out solo (bars, daygame, etc.) and either working around not having social proof, entourage, familiarity, etc. or working on generating those things (or at least the ILLUSION of having those things) on the fly from scratch.

      I actually purposely liked the challenge of going to bars as an unknown and generating it all on the fly.

      Also, if you’re older (like you’re a 40yo+ macking on 18yos), but still want to run nightclub/bar game, the entourage type game is a lot better. Then you’re not the creepy old dude in the club popping out from the shadows, you’re the “Most Interesting Man In The World” guy who seems to be a big deal because everyone knows him.



Joe Blow
on April 24, 2012 at 9:21 am
Original Link

Interesting the difference between a T-shirt and a good suit, and the effect on women. I recently wore my work clothes to a heated town council meeting in the bedroom community where I live. I’m on the council but they had only ever seen me in T-shirts or golf shirts; I keep my professional life as an upper tier attorney segregated from my home life. So we had this heated debate with angry citizens venting, and instead of being the conciliatory guy like usual, I was the authoritative, firm, guy. Instead of a T-shirt I had on a bespoke suit & shirt, cuffs, Rolex, and some high end wing tips, dressed as I would at work for a significant meeting or court appearance. I eventually swayed the rest of the council and most of the town folk to the wisdom of my position, we voted, I won.

The side effect was that I got a lot of female attention after the vote from surprisingly hot housewives whom I’d seen around at Scouts or community sports, wanting to talk about frankly irrelevant local political issues. Were they Tingly? Maybe. I certainly wouldn’t bother somebody to talk about whether we’re stocking the fish pond this year… You think there’s a lot of hot blonde thirty something housewives who fish? This episode put me on the social radar of a lot of these women, who now make it a point to say hello at the supermarket or at our kids’ soccer or lax games, even when I’m in Tevas & T-shirt. I’m not trying to fool around on my wife, but if I was, there’d be some opportunities now.

Dressing well and wearing it properly – not sporting a faggy effete metrosexual designer clothes fetish but getting at home and comfortable in a nice suit and acting like a grownup – rings their bell.


  • YaReally
    on April 24, 2012 at 9:24 pm
    Original Link

    “instead of being the conciliatory guy like usual, I was the authoritative, firm, guy”

    This is what made the difference, not your suit.

    This is why famous people don’t have to all wear bespoke suits to be famous.

    Also (big concept coming up): there’s a good chance that you’ve created different identities with regards to wearing your suit VS wearing your casual clothes. ie – in your suit you give yourself permission to be authoritative and dominant, because you have plenty of reference experiences from your career of being that while wearing your suit so your brain says “oh, my suit is on? Okay, this is how we behave then.” and you have the reverse for your casual clothes (“chill bro, we’re not at work here, let’s just make everyone happy and not stir the pot, k?”).

    This is similar to situational confidence where a person is loud and outgoing around their friends in an environment they feel comfortable in, but are quiet and reserved around strangers in an environment they aren’t comfortable in…except this involves clothing instead of people or an environment.

    This is very subtle stuff that you probably wouldn’t actually notice in yourself unless you paid really close attention to it and made it a habit of being overly self-aware. “Identity” is a very deep concept that actually spiderwebs out into a ton of other concepts of pickup, alpha behavior, entitlement, and attraction.



Wife Porn

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 23rd, 2012 at 12:30 am
Original Link

lol to this whole exchange. Just lol


Beta Male Body Language Giveaway

Original Link

via Heartiste

Bali
on April 19, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Original Link

Nothing is more Beta putting on an act of being Alpha. Alpha should come from within or don’t bother.

To me Alpha is going and approaching the woman you like, even if you are dressed terrible, are sweating buckets, consider her out of your league etc etc. It worked for me. The hottest girl I ever dated told me to “slow down and take a deep breath” when I was entering her number in my phone because my hands were shaky. The point being nothing replaces the significance of acting upon your desires.

You must love yourself (and your acts) unconditionally.


  • LionSoul
    on April 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
    Original Link

    +1

    You can only pretend for so long. Eventually they will sniff it out.

    [heartiste: this hardly ever happens in real life. the "she'll sniff it out" hypothesis is a favorite trope of the anti-gamers and feminists (but i repeat myself) who can't bear to think that men can learn to become more attractive in a way that women can't.]

    Being dominant is not about the interaction, the text after, the follow up, and even the bang itself. It goes further than a routine. It must be a part of your everyday life.

    [banging girls on the strength of early game will increase a man's confidence so that it does become a part of his everyday character.]


    • LionSoul
      on April 19, 2012 at 5:19 pm
      Original Link

      I’m neither, because I’ve used the advice mentioned on this blog. So, it’s not an ‘trope’. I’m just saying it would be better if you were actually an ‘alpha’, instead of faking it in the long term.

      In terms of LTRs, if you are not naturally a dominant male… it won’t last(which was what I’m implying). Yes, you will get quick bangs from your routines, yet it’s hard to maintain the ‘alpha facade’ if you are not leading. She will eventually see you’re a beta by heart and move on. You can’t let up.

      I’m not saying a submissive man cannot be dominant, but it would be truly difficult. There is a reason most men are sheep.


      • YaReally
        on April 20, 2012 at 12:27 am
        Original Link

        Jesus you’re thick. How many times do you need people to repeat: “you fake it until it brines natural and you’re no longer faking it”.

        “but in an LTR eventually she’ll discover…”

        By the time you’re in an LTR you’ve already internalized and become the alpha you were learning to be. There’s no beta to discover underneath it all.



Aleph
on April 19, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Original Link

Another addendum: alternatively, you can simply behave like a martyr. Go headfirst into social situations with alpha behavior even if you lack the means to back it up with physical force. A lot of people, even physical alphas, won’t find the abrasiveness they feel from you to be worth conflict and will instead try to dig at you in passive-aggressive fashion or ignore you.

Obviously, however, this takes a lot of don’t-give-a-fuck attitude and maybe a little screws loose up top. I believe smaller PUA’s, like Tyler Durden, exemplify this character.

I’ll bet my balls that Durden could care less about getting beat up by a bigger dude.


  • YaReally
    on April 20, 2012 at 12:46 am
    Original Link

    Tyler is more than well equipped to deal with big scary guys lol:

    http://www.seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/In_the_Middle/AMOG/628.html

    If you go out a lot and talk to a lot of mixed sets and deal with a lot of these “big scary alphas” you’ll find that the vast vast majority of them are only alpha when no one is fucking with them. If you understand social dynamics you can run circles around these guys and get them seeking your approval and buying you drinks and shit WHILE you take their girls. Even if you’re a skinny little guy.

    Anyone who doubts it, go out more and put yourself in these situations more.

    Paul Janka is skinny fat and joked that the best players are jobless and out of shape cause they’re the ones with all the free time to hit on girls. The other guys are too busy working or hitting the gym while he’s off gaming girls. There’s something to be said for that.


    • Aleph
      on April 20, 2012 at 1:37 am
      Original Link

      Those quips will work on socially retarded alphas. I contend that alphas are far more socially calibrated than betas and, speaking from experience, that stuff isn’t going to work a lot of the time unless you’re willing to adopt a martyr-mentality. As I said above, you need to project a frame that is powerful enough to make it not worth beating your ass. If the girls in the group happen to be worth pounding your face in for, however, it will probably happen.

      I believe that Durden could give a fuck less about riling up the AMOG and getting hit in the face. I’m also willing to bet that he’s gotten his fair share of bruises in his day.

      I often see people online trying to tell me that physical fitness isn’t important to game, but I’ve never actually seen this verified in-field. From my observation and experience, a great deal of female attraction is based on a man’s physical stature.

      People forget that a lot of these guys who write about Game are tall dudes. Like 6′ 3” or so. When you’re that height, you’re already naturally alpha and you don’t really need to build muscle. Game for you is about not fucking up and fixing your social awkwardness.

      I’ve also noticed that relationships between small, skinny dudes and hot girls are ephemeral and it usually only takes one amoral, aggressive alpha to get her to jump ship.


      • YaReally
        on April 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm
        Original Link

        You can contend whatever you want. Go out and hit on girls taller than you, who are with guys that are bigger than you. Do it a lot. Do it until you can take those girls without getting your ass beat. Or sit down and shut the fuck up about what “will probably happen”.

        “From my observation and experience, a great deal of female attraction is based on a man’s physical stature.”

        You need better observation and more experience.

        “People forget that a lot of these guys who write about Game are tall dudes. Like 6′ 3” or so.”

        Ya, totally, I mean look at all these beefed up giants linked below.

        “I often see people online trying to tell me that physical fitness isn’t important to game, but I’ve never actually seen this verified in-field.”

        Cool, allow me:

        Brown guy is 5’7″, white guy is 5’9″, asian guy is 6’0″:

        Tyler Durden is a 5’8″ balding pale ginger. At 7:10 in the video below, a tall (6’2″+) club guy tries to take Tyler’s girl. At 11:10 in the video, Tyler’s tall wingman purposely tries to take his girls from him. They do this to eachother on purpose to test their game:

        At 7:50, this chick is way taller than him:

        Jeffy is 5’7″:

        Alex is 5’7:

        Cajun is 5’7:

        Here’s Tyler blabbing about looks and why they seem to matter and how the journey is longer for you if you’re an ugly fuck (but the reason it’s longer is that you’re more internally fucked up than a good-looking guy):

        Ya, there are tall pickup instructors. No, it’s not relevant. No, your gay “amoral aggressive alpha” can’t take girls from a guy with solid game. I’m 5’9″ and Affliction douche AMOGs at the club try to take girls from me all the time. Most of my regular wingmen are 6’2″+ AND have game and I have to compete against them for girls (every time it comes down to who’s more “on” that night).

        I have a buddy who’s 5’2″ and skinny and takes girls off their boyfriends (he does it thru social proof) and dates girls taller than him (since they’re all taller than him) and has big guys trying to tool, intimidate, insult him all the time. But his frame is super tight and he always comes out on top and the guys end up qualifying themselves to him as the girls slip him their number or ask him to hang out.

        In conclusion: Go out more.


        • Aleph
          on April 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm
          Original Link

          You’re free to believe what you want. I’ve done well over 100 approaches, and I know what’s worked for me and what hasn’t.

          Posting 40 Durden videos isn’t going to help your case. Pickup masters who’ve learned to masterfully navigate around their genetic shortcomings by dedicating their entire lives to the craft of attracting women are not only rare, but prove my point about physical stature as well. You think these guys would have had the impetus to master pickup if they were genetically gifted?

          Know why Durden is one of the only PUA’s whose lectures are taken seriously? It’s because he’s actually had to put in three lifetime’s worth of toil in order to get where he is.

          Note, I’m also 5′ 9” and was born ectomorphic, so I’m not just talking out of my ass here. My natural size is a biological turn-off to most women, and I know that. I decided to get bigger to offset that deficit. Is it going to make women suddenly be uncontrollably attracted to me? Probably not. Is it going to give me more options in social settings? I’ll spoil the suspense for you: it has.

          Nobody who’s serious about pickup is going to tell you that looks/stature don’t matter. You can read people who agree with my assessment across the manosphere.

          [heartiste: the problem isn't puas saying looks don't matter. the problem is most men thinking that looks matter more than they really do.]


          • YaReally
            on April 21, 2012 at 11:36 am
            Original Link

            Oh!!! Fuck!!! *100* whole approaches!! Shit my bad I didn’t realize I was talking to a pro here! Wow!! How did you get that much experience?? You must have been doing this for at least a month hey? No wonder you’ve reached such adamant conclusions.

            Hey so I started lifting weights last week and I think I’ve reached my genetic potential. I mean, I’ve been doing it a whole week and I haven’t become as big as Jay Cutler. Do you think it’s time I try steroids? I mean, I’ve been doing this a whole WEEK so I KNOW it’s impossible for me to get bigger, I’m an ectotransoninjamorph and shit.



YaReally
on April 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Original Link

What??? YaReally posting Tyler stuff??? No way!!!

Tyler Durden’s 25 Points Bodylanguage Checklist:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/60062

This was from wayyyyy the fuck back, maybe even pre-The Game. Everyone in this thread should go thru the 25 points and think about whether they do them or not.

[heartiste: i used to laugh at my own jokes a little too much. hey it's me! then i stopped doing that when i read it was beta behavior (and when i noticed naturals never doing it).]



YaReally
on April 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Original Link

My body language was horrible before pickup. Introverted shy computer nerd scared of the world. It took a fuckton of work and time to correct. Now I don’t have to think about it.

I used to have this jacket that ripped on one cuff so some material would hang down and bug me. I didn’t want to rip it off because it would look weirder so I started just grabbing the cuff part in my hand. About a month later I got a new jacket and I noticed I’d instinctively grab for the now non-existent ripped cuff. I wasn’t thinking “gotta hold that cuff”, my body just did it. That was when I realized we can change our body language. Later on I learned about the whole “21 days of doing something rewires your brain” concept which I assume is what was going on there.

Don’t listen to guys who say you can’t fix your body language or that you shouldn’t waste time micro-managing it. Micro-manage it until it becomes natural. Guess what, micro-managing it is going to fuck up a bunch of your pickup attempts because you’re going to have too much to focus on. Guess what, you can’t go into pickup hoping to never fuck up a pickup. That’s avoidance mentality and it will hold you back. You have to approach pickup trying to succeed, not trying to avoid failing. Go out, fuck up, and grow from it. Once you get your body language nailed down you’ll pretty much never have to think about it again for the rest of your LIFE.

I can instantly sum a guy up based on his body language around girls. I meet a lot of cocky alpha types thru my social circles when I go out and before we hit the bar they always talk a ton of smack about how much pussy they get and how they’re gonna get some tonight blah blah. I just ignore all of that. Cause 90% of the time the second we walk in that club door their body language tanks and their drink is up at their chest, they fidget, they shove their hands in their pockets, etc.

There’s a DVD called “Beyond Words” by Lovesystems that features Cajun for a big chunk of it, and it’s all about body language. Here’s a sample, stick thru the sample to the end cause the last 30 sec or so he explains his mindset when he talks to girls which is extremely useful:

Cajun is this guy:

Also give Fight Club a re-watch. I could write 50 pages just on the difference in body language between Norton and Pitt and Norton’s early self and Norton’s later self. Pay attention to stuff like who’s reacting to who, who’s looking where as they talk, who cuts the other person’s dialog off, who looks relaxed and who looks tense, who fidgets more, what are they doing with their hands, how many different actions do they do at once and how much attention do they pay to what they’re doing (this one’s big, you’ll notice alpha guys tend to multitask…pulling out a cigarette as they talk without looking at it till its in their mouth and lit, putting an object down or picking it up without looking at it…in the Cajun video I linked above where he does his Keys to the VIP intro notice how his eye contact is locked on the camera as he takes his final sip of drink, vs a guy looking down at his drink or fidgeting to find that little straw they put in highballs. Not paying attention shows that you just expect to succeed at whatever it is you’re doing), who’s expressing their feelings and who’s hiding them etc.



You Be the Boy

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 17th, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Original Link

“It’s as if the actual content of the message is irrelevant, the only important thing is how hearing the message makes her feel.”

Yep. PUAs call this “change her mood, not her mind.” it’s why nice guys can’t “convince” a girl he’s perfect for her by listing off his achievements and pointing out all the rational reasons they’d be a good couple.

It applies to all sorts of stuff, from arguing with your wife to pulling girls from a nightclub.

“let’s go get food”
“I can’t”
“joke joke tease tease”
“giggle giggle”
“let’s go get food”
“okay!!!”

Next time you feel like you’re frustratingly banging your head against the wall debating something with a woman (tho why are you wasting your time doing that in the first place??) re-read what you’re about to post or re-think what you’re about to say and ask yourself “am I trying to change her mind or her mood?”


YaReally
on April 18th, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Original Link

“If I’m actually arguing, of course I’m trying to change her mind.”

You’re already starting out on the wrong foot by arguing with her.

Replace “3 year old” with “woman”.


YaReally
on April 18th, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Original Link

“and that has to be just about the most irresponsible way to live I can think of.”

Yep.


YaReally
on April 18th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Original Link

“I kinda expected the same thing from a mate, but clearly that isn’t how it works.”

Correct. Now what will you do with this information?


You Be the Boy

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 19th, 2012 at 8:45 pm
Original Link

“I want someone to help me figure out how to get where I want to go”

That’s YOU. That’s your job. You are a man, you need to get to know yourself to your core and figure out how to get where you want to go.

“I want an offensive coach.”

Again that’s you. You are a man. Figuring out your purpose and following a path in life is what you should be doing regardless of who’s around. You’re looking for someone to “fix” you and help you understand yourself but part of becoming a man is figuring that out yourself. You designed a bed and have all the pieces to put it together but you want someone else to give you an instruction book when you’re the one who should know how to fit the pieces together.

“I need someone that can help me figure shit out.”

You’re a man. You are all you need to figure shit out. A girl can’t even decide where to go for dinner and you want her to be able to solve shit that even you haven’t solved?

This is why Sasha said: “You are not getting a fully functioning partner because you aren’t one yourself yet.”

It’s very spot-on. To relate it to pickup, a big part of meeting a lot of women is learning what you do and don’t want in a partner. When you’re new to success with women you fuck anything because you don’t KNOW what you want and you don’t know yourself yet. That’s why random AFC virgins end up married to shitty girlfriends. Those guys didn’t know “ill be unhappy with a girl who doesn’t put out frequently” and “I won’t accept disrespect in front of others from her” and “I love a woman who enjoys cooking for me” and “I need a girl whos a gym bunny because I lose attraction to women if they get fat”.

He doesnt know himself so he takes what comes along and is miserable and wants other people to tell him what he wants because he doesnt want to put in the effort to find out for himself. You’re doing the same thing but with your overall life.

You have a lot of work to do internally, on yourself as a man, girls and relationships aside. Check out the “Creating and Maintaining Order” chapter of Manhood 101′s free eBook. The stuff in that Chapter about defining clear needs, enforcing expectations, punishment/reward in relation to that, etc. might help you out:

http://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf

(this is actually a really good book in general, it approaches things from a different perspective than most pickup/manosphere stuff. I highly recommend it to everyone working on their internal game)

If its any consolation don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not your fault, society conditions us NOT to learn about ourselves. It’s easier if everyone is conditioned to believe they want the same things (college, career, kids, wife). You were just a victim of social conditioning like most other guys. But you can fix it. Good luck!


YaReally
on April 20th, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Original Link

TedD: It’s cool, take your time digesting. You might even want to stay off all the blogs for a couple weeks. You’re waking up to the fact that not only have you been lied to your entire life by pretty much everyone around you including people you completely trusted, but also you BELIEVED those lies in good faith and built and structured an entire life around them.

You’re totally justified in throwing a temper tantrum lol Most of us did too.


Women, Divorce And Misleading Statistics

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via Heartiste

Me
on April 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Original Link

The “almost” pick-up.
Flawless (heavily flawed) victory/fatality starts at 1:12.


  • Anon
    on April 17, 2012 at 1:52 pm
    Original Link

    Great video.

    I know it’s prob edited, condensed, etc. but this shows that pickup is, in large part, a numbers game.

    Here’s a decently good looking guy demonstrating zero game and still engaging women in conversations, even number closing one attractive chick.

    The key? Plow and keep plowing.

    However, even legendary pickup machine Paul Janka. A Dark Triad if I’ve ever seen one, with his outcome independent direct game. A Harvard educated, good looking guy with money. He’s a guru, teaches other men the game, yet says only about 10% of the numbers he gets goes anywhere.

    Check out his vids on YouTube sometime.

    Bottom line, pickup=exposure to many women=numbers game (to a large degree).


    • YaReally
      on April 17, 2012 at 4:54 pm
      Original Link

      Will the nice guy in the video actually put his P in the girl’s V? I didn’t watch the video, maybe the end of it shows them boning, I couldn’t stand listening to the guy for more than 10 seconds lol

      Paul runs a VERY numbers based game. But he runs day game in New York where everyone is hurrying along through their day and there isn’t time to build comfort with the girls to avoid flaking. He basically DHVs himself real quick then pushes for a number and vanishes (this is his actual strategy, he says he won’t make a better impression in 10 minutes than in 2 so fuck it bail fast). In his environment it’s a decent way to game but by default it’s going to be heavily heavily numbers based with a ton of flakes.

      Referencing him is like saying “all drivers speed because on a race track drivers go really fast”. Paul’s doing his own thing that he’s adapted to his environment and very few guys run the same style of game he does.

      Incidentally his eBook (should be free) of How To Get Pussy In New York is a great read. He explains how/why his game fits his environment and he does a lot of stuff differently from normal PUAs. Like he does day game during the week and meets up with his girls for dates on the weekends instead of going to the bars fri/sat to compete with other dudes for the girls. Smart strategy if you’re in a city surrounded by thousands of girls walking around every day. He also has some funny ways of keeping things inexpensive.



The Numbers Game Fallacy

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on April 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm
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I anticipate a future where I can just respond to every topic with a Tyler video lol


  • Student
    on April 15, 2012 at 6:31 pm
    Original Link

    you’re halfway there buddy! but yeah, the interesting thing to me is how much TD has evolved from utter creep to social mastery. the more recent vids are interesting in terms of seeing how far boundaries can be pushed. its one thing to give field reports, quite another to see them as they happen.


    • YaReally
      on April 17, 2012 at 9:11 am
      Original Link

      Ya his personality, especially when he first hit the scene, was massively fucked up and value-taking. But even in his asshole days he was still totally brilliant at breaking down and explaining human psychology and social dynamics.

      His archives are available around the net (fastseduction.com should have them) for anyone interested in reading his entire early posting history. He was pretty cut-throat with calling keyboard jockeys and excuse-makers out on their bullshit and blindspots and was pushing limits and experimenting with new theories all the time (handling AMOGs, boyfriend destroyers, etc). If you’re really technical minded his old archives are a good read even though pickup tech has evolved since those days.



walawala
on April 15, 2012 at 1:03 am
Original Link

Discovered this show…which apparently is broadcast on the “Comedy Network”.

This is a good examination of game and dispells the “numnbers” fallacy.

This show forces two “Pua”s to compete against each other in different categories including “reverse gold-digger”—where in 3 minutes the guys have to get the girls they’re gaming to buy them a drink…and “freestyle” game where they have to “close”.

Note that they have a time limit and if you watch the show, this is’t approaching dozens of women.

It’s about using the game techniques in a time limit to achieve the goals of the challenge: get a number, get girl to buy you a drink, deal with a cock block etc etc.


  • YaReally
    on April 15, 2012 at 3:56 pm
    Original Link

    Check out the Cajun episode to watch a top PUA instructor running game. His cousin he goes against is a newbie. Neither has a looks advantage over the other but the difference between the reactions the two guys get are pretty blatant.

    Oh and Cajun is a super huge jacked up bodybuilding 6’4″ clearly rich guy so obviously the only reason he does well is because of that stuff right? There’s an ep with two better looking instructors from the same company but they have worse game and both do pretty shitty. Cajun does a lot of really subtle things right in his body language, voice tone, eye contact, etc that the other guys don’t have down.

    Another good ep is the Cobra Commander one, the guy is a good demo of having absolutely no outcome dependence.

    Also give the Meatus ep a go. It’s a good contrast of a good looking Nice Guy vs a total and complete sleazy asshole.

    Keys is a great show. They have a lot of jacked up “seemingly alpha” guys on there who, when you actually see them in action, are often pretty awful or totally incongruent to how badass they were pretending to be in their profiles.



Cured Beta
on April 15, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Original Link

Heartiste and YaReally,

I want to thank both of you alot for the tools that led to this bang, and also would like advice on how to proceed.

Last week we went out with part of our group from a weekly social activity. Besides me there were 2 guys (both gay) and 6 girls. I was being aloof, playful and flirty, and passing shit tests like they came from my silly little sister.

I ended up at a club alone with the hottest girl from the group (22yo) who’d just ended a 3 year long relationship with a guy who had turned into a boring couch patato. We talked, teased, flirted, danced, I did alot of push-pull and over the course of the night I moved in for the kiss like five times, but every single time she averted her head.

There was lots of kino, ass grabbing and two times right after averting her head she grabbed my waist closer. Not sure what was going on here. I just remained unreactive and acted like nothing happened/it was no big deal. 4th time she said apologetically “I’m not gonna kiss you because then things will become awkard”, I looked at her with a straight face, saying nothing. Her: you don’t mind, do you? I smirked and replied: You know I take life as it comes. Curious about the best play here.

Sometime later she turned to me and said “let’s go”. We went ouside to our bikes, I assumed it was all lost and over and we were indeed riding home. I felt disappointed and thought that I couldn’t do anything now because it was kinda cold outside which in my mind killed the vibe. How to handle this spot? Make some “desperation move” or accept temporary defeat and act like it’s no big deal (I’d see her again in the future)?

Anyway, I did nothing and then it was she who suggested we go smoke a joint somewhere. I knew a bar that was still open and where they usually sell all kinds of stuff, so we went there but only smoked cigarettes and had more beers.

I brought the conversation back to matters of sex, teased her about her boring sex-life, and we said things like

her: I just wanted him to grab me sometimes, to push against the wall and not accept my flimsy protests
me: that’s what all girls want inside, and most guys are too scared to do

She’d previously asked about my experience with girls and relationships, I lied that I had one 9-month long relationship that I ended when she insisted on meeting each others parents (upon which she laughed, and told her about celebrating christmas with her bf’s parents, at which we both laughed with contempt) and for the rest limited myself to lots of short-time flings.

She started inquiring again, and I was just completely acting like I was YaReally (been reading lots of his posts lately, both here and over at rollo’s blog (do you post anywhere else?)), how I mostly slept with girls who were in relationships already, so as to lower the risk of forming attachments, just giving them the sex they really want without trying to sabotage their relationships, etc. She fully bought into it and was intrigued.

I told her some (mostly made up) sex stories, such as how I once had sex in the restroom at university with a girl who was about to give a presentation to a small class with me in the audience. How she told me afterwards that giving the presentation with me in the audience and feeling my semen slowly drip down her legs was the horniest thing she ever experienced.

her: wow! I want to go try things like that! (we each had 10+ beers at this point, over the course of >7 hours)

She said how she had been with only 2 guys, excluding the one who she had just given a blowjob, because that didn’t count (lol), and that she had for the rest only kissed alot of other guys during her relationship. She started to inquire about how many girls I had been with.

I was evasive
she started to guess…
“like, ten?”
I laughed
“tell me!”
“I… don’t really know”
“approximately?”
“eeh…” pondering “…”confused, thinking look”
“tell me!”
“… about a hundred?” (divide by 25 for the real number)
her jaw dropped, her pupils dilated.
“geez, that’s alot”

She appeared to believe me completely, mainly, I think, because I had been congruent with it the whole night, and other girls at the beginning had been teasing me about my supposedly frequent cheating which I had very tangently hinted at. Shortly afterwards she pulled out her cellphone and asked for my number.

me: heya, I’m not that easy!
she: no, I’m not trying to pick you up… I just want to know your number because you’re interesting and I feel like I want to hang out with you when you’re doing something cool…
me: well, ok… just for this one time then…
number, first name, last name (“let’s keep it to just my first name” “oh, yeah, sure, hihi”)

I then explored her pants with my hand (with probably half the bar watching, lol), she was really wet and did not resist at all.

I asked her what was her deepest sex fantasy.

Her: ehm… I think something in a forest… being fucked hard against a tree. Geez, I’m really horny right now.
Me: let’s go to xxx park then.

I stood up and moved her towards me.

Her: But, honestly, I’m just not attracted to you…
Me: I know you are.
Her: You’re just projecting your own horniness onto me.
Me: I am, and you love it.

Then she instantly forced her tongue into my mouth with such glee as I have never experienced. I pushed her away shortly afterwards, she forced her way back in, and I allowed her a slightly longer stay.

Her: but the park is so far.
Me: no prob, we’ll just fuck right here in the toilet. *start pulling her forcefully towards the restroom*
Her: no, haha, no, let’s go to the park, ok?
Me: sure

And so we did. We had pretty rough sex, I spanked her naked ass hard, she said that it hurt but also moaned and begged me to keep going. “You really are a dirty slut inside, aren’t you”. “Yes, moan, hihi, yes I am”. She sucked, swallowed and licked my dick clean.

Then we rode home, she teased me by calling me a pervert, I responded playfully with “slut”. She stroked my hair, I stroked hers, then pulled it and told her that the moment I saw her lips I knew was going to insert my dick between them (was this a mistake? should I have bonded instead?). I described the environment in a somewhat poetic manner, she laughed and said that deep down I’m a romantic. “I have to turn to the right here…” “Ok, you have my number or else till next week” (bad?)

I’m ecstatic that this happened at all, but also would like to fuck her again, further exploring her fantasies. My main question is: how to proceed? She has my number, I don’t have hers, she hasn’t contacted me so far (this happened 3 nights ago). I fear that she woke up feeling like a giant slut and ashamed of herself. I likely see her again near the end of the week (group of 10-12, 2 hour long course in the evening, willing to provide more info in private). If she shows up, how should I act towards her? How do I go about arranging possible follow-ups? If she looks really shy/ashamed, how do I react? If she doesn’t show up, should I ask the teacher for her number? And then what?


  • YaReally
    on April 17, 2012 at 8:27 pm
    Original Link

    lol awesome. Glad it went well for you. Quick breakdown:

    “and two times right after averting her head she grabbed my waist closer. Not sure what was going on here. I just remained unreactive and acted like nothing happened/it was no big deal”

    You handled it perfectly. When a girl’s “Buying Temperature” spikes too high too fast she tries to throw herself out of it because instinctively she knows she’ll end up fucking you. That’s why a guy who escalates fast but competantly gets shit-tested. “We shouldn’t be doing this…” “I can’t come home with you, I have work in the morning…” are half-assed ones, but more extreme ones are girlfriends pulling eachother away from a guy (“we have to go to the bathroom!!”, they sense that their GF’s spiking too fast and they need to get her away to cool down) or girls insulting you (“that’s a gay shirt” or “I don’t date short guys”) etc. It’s her going “shit, I’m so turned on, quick, how can I make him unattractive…oooh I called him short and he got pissed off! That’s so lame, whew, now I’m not attracted!”

    It’s why when you pass a shit-test (like you did, by being unreactive), attraction spikes. It’s like she goes to hit the brakes on her car as it rolls down a hill and realizes the brakes don’t work. Huge emotional spikes.

    Her grabbing your waist closer was her sub-communicating “I won’t kiss you, but I don’t want you to leave/give up yet, but I can’t verbalize that or I’ll feel like a slut…”

    “I looked at her with a straight face, saying nothing.”

    lol perfect. You don’t always need a witty line/comeback.

    “I smirked and replied: You know I take life as it comes. Curious about the best play here.”

    That was the best play. She tried to get you into a logical conversation (cools down her Buying Temperature like explained above). This is why part of AMOG’ing another guy who’s talking to a girl involves just asking him a series of logical boring questions, if he falls into answering them the girl gets bored and cools off).

    You just left an open-ended “shrug, whatever happens happens…” response for her to read into it whatever she wanted to read into it. I used to say stuff like “I don’t really think that far ahead, people put too much pressure on relationships once they start labelling it. I look at it like you’re a cool chick, we have good chemistry, so let’s hang out. If something happens, it happens…if not, that’s fine too.” But yours was better, nice and brief and to the point.

    “I brought the conversation back to matters of sex”

    That made all the difference in the world. Some guys would just casually chit-chat after the vibe snap of being outside in the cold, but here’s where you brought things back on rail towards your goal.

    “me: that’s what all girls want inside, and most guys are too scared to do”

    Perfect. Shows you know girls, probably have experience, and separate yourself from other guys in her mind.

    “She started inquiring again, and I was just completely acting like I was YaReally”

    lol not a sentence I ever thought I’d read. Careful, it’s a slippery slope. ;)

    “(been reading lots of his posts lately, both here and over at rollo’s blog (do you post anywhere else?))”

    Nah, not these days, I just stumbled onto the Manosphere blogs and like CH and Rollo’s writing. I have a fuckton of free time this month because my job is awesome so I’m doing a lot more posting right now.

    “how I mostly slept with girls who were in relationships already, so as to lower the risk of forming attachments, just giving them the sex they really want without trying to sabotage their relationships, etc.”

    Perfect. That’s my frame. I am 100% happy being “the guy they want to fuck but not be seen with”. Whether it’s because they’re in a relationship or I’m not normally their type or I’m below their class etc., I have my own shit going on and I’m not looking for a relationship so that’s all convenient for me.

    “She fully bought into it and was intrigued.”

    They love it because they realize they can let go with you, you won’t judge them wanting to explore their sexual side (since you hook up with girls for sex all the time), and they don’t have to worry about “is he going to show up at my office with flowers??” or “is he going to break me up with my boyfriend?” etc. It’s like a secret once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for them.

    This is why a lot of them won’t feel bad about cheating on their boyfriends/husbands with me, because they don’t classify me as an emotional lover so it’s not “cheating” to them.

    “her: wow! I want to go try things like that! (we each had 10+ beers at this point, over the course of >7 hours)”

    You’re 100% solid with her here…though she’ll shit-test you a bit more to make sure you’re congruent before she finally goes for it. She doesn’t want to fall for a paper alpha.

    Down the road when you get used to this you’ll learn to get girls to open up and admit stuff like that without all the beer lol

    “excluding the one who she had just given a blowjob, because that didn’t count (lol)”

    lol I love women.

    “She started to inquire about how many girls I had been with.”

    There’s the shit-test. Her subconscious is hoping you’ll fuck up with your answer and throw her out of attraction so her Buying Temperature can cool down, like putting out a fire before it gets out of control and burns down the forest.

    It’s a really counter-productive mechanism but completely congruent/logical when you understand why they do it.

    “I was evasive”

    Good. You could joke around, cocky-funny style about having a harem and blah blah but keeping silent/evasive is congruent with the rest of your answers to her shit-tests so that was better for your particular situation.

    ““… about a hundred?” (divide by 25 for the real number)”

    lol I usually say “I don’t know, I stopped counting after 20…at first it was just the notches on my belt like every other guy, but past 20 it became more about finding quality girls I have chemistry with, you know?” I like this one ’cause it gets her thinking she might be one of those special chemistry girls and that I won’t be fucking a bunch of other girls while we’re hooking up etc.

    “her jaw dropped, her pupils dilated.”

    PUAs call that “the doggy dinner bowl look”. Where they look at you like you’re just the most amazing thing they’ve ever seen in their lives, like a starving dog looks at you when you bring his dinner lol No idea who coined the term, it’s really oldschool. This usually happens after you pass enough shit-tests or a big enough shit-test or her final shit-test, and this is the point where you’re 100% done. You pretty much can’t fuck up from here, she’s decided you’re “the one”.

    Some girls hit the DDB really fast (a shy innocent girl who’s dazzled by your cocky/funny stuff as soon as she meets you) and some take a while (a bitchy older cougar who tests you like a motherfucker over and over to see if you’re congruent) and you CAN fuck a girl without her giving the DDB look but the DDB look is a sign that you ran flawless game. It’s like getting all the stars in Mario or some shit, ya you can finish the level without ‘em but if you get them all and get the little fireworks and shit you were flawless.

    Girls who DDB will usually start chasing you down from that point. They’ll force their phone number on you, make excuses to meet up with you again, some will even freak out and CRY if you then act disinterested lol Mystery/Tyler/etc. had that happen now and then (when they just blew a girl’s mind and she thought they were the most amazing man they had ever met blah blah).

    “because I had been congruent with it the whole night”

    Yep. The cheating-teasing just added to the congruency of your whole vibe.

    “Shortly afterwards she pulled out her cellphone and asked for my number.”
    :) DDB was the indication that this would happen. She was also the one that initiated going to smoke a joint earlier, but back then you still had some work to do…she was interested, but her subconscious hadn’t decided “I want to fuck this guy”. She was still testing you and feeling you out. But here, she’s captivated.

    “she: no, I’m not trying to pick you up… I just want to know your number because you’re interesting”

    As you can see, at this point she’s made the mental switch flip to “I want this guy” so now even if you play hard to get she will chase the fuck out of you. A lot of guys try the hard to get thing too soon before the girl is DDB’ed/hooked and they lose the girl.

    You can actually fuck with girls in this stage a bit if you want to watch the rationalization hamster spin its wheel lol “I don’t get it, why would you want my number?” (“ummm just to hang out!!”) “What? Well I’m sure we’ll run into eachother again sometime, maybe, somewhere…” (“nooo I never hang out with Sarah so you should just give me your number now okay??”) “Huh? But you have a boyfriend don’t you? He probably wouldn’t like you and I hanging out right?” (“no no it’s fine, he wouldn’t mind at all!!”)

    “Me: let’s go to xxx park then.”

    This’ll get you a shit-test. She can’t verbalize “I want to get fucked against a tree by you right now”. Same way you can’t tell her “Come upstairs for a fuck”, you have to say shit like “Come upstairs and we’ll watch that movie” even though you both know it’s bullshit.

    “Her: But, honestly, I’m just not attracted to you…”

    There’s the shit-test.

    “Me: I know you are.”

    Perfect. Keeping the frame.

    “Her: You’re just projecting your own horniness onto me.”

    Shit-test as her hamster tries desperately to fuck her Buying Temperature up.

    “Me: I am, and you love it.”

    Fucking flawless response lol Not apologizing for your desires as a man, owning your intent, and telling her you know exactly what she’s feeling. “and you love it” is one of my favorite responses to shit-tests…they hate (in a good way) that I somehow know they love whatever it is they’re testing me on.

    “Then she instantly forced her tongue into my mouth”

    No surprise at all. The “and you love it” was epic. Her hamster exploded. You likely won’t even get Last Minute Resistance because of how you ran this.

    “I pushed her away shortly afterwards”

    Good. Shows you’re not needy. Congruent to your whole vibe so far.

    “and I allowed her a slightly longer stay.”

    lol good frame of mind. You allowed her to kiss you longer. What a lucky girl. Keep that frame in mind when you’re talking to other girls. That’s being the prize. :)

    “Me: no prob, we’ll just fuck right here in the toilet. *start pulling her forcefully towards the restroom*”

    lol

    “(was this a mistake? should I have bonded instead?).”

    ehhhh not the best thing to have said. The pervert/slut teases were cute, like an inside joke with you guys, but after she’s acted like a slut she needs to feel like you aren’t going to judge her for being a slut…so comments like “knew I was going to insert my dick” blah blah are like “I knew you were a slut the second I saw you” which can trigger her Buyer’s Remorse.

    Something better would have been telling her the moment you saw her lips you knew you wanted her…less graphic, more romantic, and less “you’re obviously a cum-dumpster, you disgusting slut” and more “we just had this amazing connection, of course we couldn’t resist doing what we just did, we were just overcome with chemistry and it just happened”

    I can’t say this is for SURE what led to her not contacting you so far, but it’s pretty likely. A lot of newbies and naturals have this problem, their goal is the sex so they don’t think about the after-game at all…but there’s a whole ‘nother chunk of game to go to get a girl to feel good about what she just did and not get Buyer’s Remorse over it. This is why newbies get a lot of one-offs where the girl doesn’t ever want to hook up with him again, and why naturals get a lot of girls who hate them after they’ve fucked (one natural buddy of mine can’t even go to certain bars because there are like 10 girls that hate him there lol).

    “I fear that she woke up feeling like a giant slut and ashamed of herself.”

    She may have just lost her phone or something silly, but let’s run under the assumption that you’re right about where the vibe went off a bit because you probably felt that as you said it and usually our instincts are pretty good with that.

    It would’ve been a good idea to, before you both went home, say “Hey. You have my number but I don’t have yours. Txt me right now so I have it, I want to see you again.” But after the “insert my dick” comment she might’ve rejected that and already had the hamster back on the wheel planning to flake on you for it.

    The perfect timing would’ve been to say “Hey, gimme your number” when you were stroking eachother’s hair. You’d then be able to re-initiate contact with her to hook up again, and it would make her go “oh, he wants to see me again, okay he’s not judging me, I’m not just a big ol’ slutty slut whore to him yay!!!!”

    “If she shows up, how should I act towards her?”

    You might be shot in the foot already (all from one uncalibrated comment, isn’t that crazy?). Even if you approach her all cool about it and like “Hey, I realized I don’t have your number, but I want to hang out again” she may even HAVE to reject you now, to save face since she thought you see her as a slut. Or if you did get her out again, she might purposely NOT put out, again to save slut-face. It sounds silly/counter-productive but it’s totally logical to her hamster.

    “How do I go about arranging possible follow-ups?”

    You might have to NOT arrange any follow-ups for a while. Sort of like you scared the shit out of an animal, so now you have to let it calm down and approach it really slowly and calmly instead of going up to it like you normally would. Just friend-zone yourself with her for a bit. Any escalation you do will translate in her mind to “SEE? He’s trying to touch me!! He DOES think I’m a slut… :(

    Treat her friendly/flirty like any other girl you’ve just met (don’t be overly sexual like “remember when we did that thing? wink wink”), don’t talk about that night, hang out with your friends together like you always do, and down the road when she realizes you really didn’t judge her, she’ll help arrange a situation where you two end up alone together and she’ll let you escalate there.

    This could be as little as a week or two, or as long as a few months.

    “If she looks really shy/ashamed, how do I react?”

    The stronger frame always becomes reality. If you hold the frame of “there’s nothing to be shy/ashamed about, don’t be silly, we had a blast and you shouldn’t regret any of that, blah blah chemistry, why in the world would you be shy/ashamed? That’s not even a thing you should be feeling, everything that happened was great” as you interact with her, her frame of “he thinks I’m a slut, I’m a bad person for what I did, I should regret all of that night” will cave.

    This isn’t something you can verbalize, but it’s something to keep in your head for if she instigates anything.

    Check out the top video on this page:

    http://www.gottalovemoody.com/tag/quotes

    It’s a great example of the chick having Buyer’s Remorse, but Hank smooths it over. When that little conversation snippet it over, she no longer has the Remorse. You can see his frame is “there’s nothing to be embarrassed or apologetic about”.

    “If she doesn’t show up, should I ask the teacher for her number?”

    Fuck no lol You’ll see her again eventually, even if it’s just random. There’s no benefit to chasing her down. It’s not like you can grab her number and say “hey I just wanted to make sure you’re okay with the other night blah blah blah” and logically convince her to be okay with it and come fuck you against a tree. Her hamster will just go “oh wow, see? He thinks you’re a slut so he had to grab your number from the teacher ’cause he wants easy pussy so he thinks he can just txt you out of the blue and get in your pants again, you dirty whore.”

    “And then what?”

    You said it yourself: I take life as it comes.

    Hope that helps. Really well done game on your part. Hope it works out and you both get to bone eachother’s brains out for months of crazy forest-fucking adventures lol


    • Cured Beta
      on April 18, 2012 at 4:52 am
      Original Link

      Jesus Christ, thanks man. Everything I was confused about suddenly makes sense.

      You were my hero already, but now you just fried my circuits. Glad you’re not here or I would go all gay over you, lol.


      • YaReally
        on April 18, 2012 at 11:28 am
        Original Link

        “Everything I was confused about suddenly makes sense.”

        No prob, glad it cleared some things up for you. My breakdown is an example of what the PUA community used to do to eachother’s Field Reports. It’s a big part of why we figured out so much so fast…like getting a ton of math nerds discussing a single math problem instead of everyone working it out individually. A lot of that has fallen to the wayside now that PUA is more mainstream, too many newbies having keyboard jockey debates and too many Gurus pushing the “don’t think too much, you’ll just confuse yourself” mentality because it gets flashy results for their bootcamp students even if the actual game those students are running isn’t solid in the long-term.

        What a lot of people who are new to PUA stuff or who just dabble in it for a few months or a couple years don’t really get is how deep the rabbit hole really IS. Like, it’s actually scary. Part of why Tyler, Mystery, Style, etc. were top level was that they had really analytical brains and they were drawing all these connections in behaviors that other people ran into here and there but had never really connected. They were making space-ships and shit out of Lego blocks while other people were just staring at a pile of Legos. Tyler came off like a freak because he completely understood social dynamics but THEN had to learn to be “normal” whereas the other guys started out pretty normal and had to learn social dynamics.

        That’s why I can read your report and, as long as it’s accurate, I can explain basically everything in it. And the explanations are congruent with eachother and consistent with PUA knowledge and don’t contradict my blog comment rants. Because all of this makes absolute logical consistent sense. That scares a lot of people because we like to believe in free will, but the reality is that a lot of our behavior is very predictible and can be manipulated (which isn’t a bad thing, shouting “STOP!!!” to someone driving a car who’s about to hit a jaywalker is a good manipulation of a predictible behavior).

        This is why I can tell the guys who go out and pick up regularly from the guys who just read and discuss a lot but don’t have as much experience. Even if you were a badass smooth “playa” in your youth for a few years, if you’re now married and sitting at home on Friday nights or hanging in a sausage-fest pub with your boys having a pint and hitting on the waitress, you’re not relevant except possibly in the relationship-game category but even then you’re biased because your test sample is basically one woman. The more you go out (and actually consciously train), the more you see these consistent principles occuring over and over.

        Guys who don’t go out or haven’t put massive amounts of work into this skillset will sit around debating stupid shit. Notice I didn’t say “that might be the DDB look, it could mean that she likes you enough that she’ll chase you now”. I said that IS the DDB look, and it DOES mean that she’ll chase you now. I didn’t say “her grabbing your waist might mean that she’s still into you, even though she didn’t kiss you…” I said she didn’t kiss you because of ABC, and her grabbing your waist MEANS XYZ.

        I can say those things with certainty because I’ve been in those situations a ton of times, seen other guys in those situations a ton of times, and read consistent reports from other PUAs in those situations a ton of times. There’s nothing to debate. The second someone comes along and says something like “well her waist-grabbing doesn’t matter, if she didn’t kiss him then she isn’t into him and he should just Next her instead of wasting his time”, it’s clear they’re talking out their ass.

        “Glad you’re not here or I would go all gay over you, lol.”

        I’m SO wet!


        • YaReally
          on April 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm
          Original Link

          Actually I should clarify the “you aren’t relevant” part of that. If you aren’t going out and picking up regularly AND your opinion/beliefs contradict PUA concepts that have been thoroughly tested in millions of interactions by thousands of PUAs, then your shit isn’t relevant.

          I don’t know how much someone like CH or Rollo or Ripp go out and get new pussy, but even if it isn’t regular, their posts generally don’t contradict PUA concepts so that’s fine. Mystery could stop going out entirely but the concepts in the Mystery Method still work and he could still teach/explain them. They might not be the most efficient concepts anymore and they might not be as simple to grasp as modern concepts, but they’re very thoroughly tested so if someone’s going to say “social proof doesn’t work” or “negging doesn’t work” they’d better have some SERIOUS (ie – impossible to have) experience under their belt.

          If a guy harps over and over that the sky is green but he’s been living in a basement with no windows his whole life and I’m outside with everyone else enjoying the blue sky every day, his belief just isn’t relevant. Either he needs to have more experience than us that the sky is green, or he needs to leave that basement, where he’ll see, just like we do, that the sky is clearly blue.


    • Anon
      on April 19, 2012 at 1:25 am
      Original Link

      Haha “quick breakdown”.

      Can’t get quicker than that.


      • YaReally
        on April 19, 2012 at 5:55 pm
        Original Link

        lol I could go deeper but a lot of it would go way over people’s heads. I’ve taken a 30 second interaction apart for like 10 pages before. It’s overkill for new guys tho. To advance your skill-set you only need the amount of information your brain is ready to process at your point in the learning curve.


    • Cured Beta
      on April 19, 2012 at 5:03 pm
      Original Link

      Follow-up: she showed up today at the “social activity” (I think there’s not much risk in revealing that it’s an acting class), first few eye-contacts she looked away quickly but after that things became kinda normal, except that she seemed to laugh excessively at my jokes and applauded my performance more than anyone else.

      Based on what you wrote I felt it would be ok to display some vulnerability/show her that I like her, so after class I walked up to her and said: I have to admit… everytime I got a text this week I secretly hoped it came from you.

      Her: how sweet, I disappointed you then, huh?

      Then she insta looked away, as if expecting to find another subject, which she did (some furnitural detail) and proceeded to talk about to a blend of me and the person behind me. I had no clue what to do but felt that entering her silly frame would be supplicating and re-changing the subject would be try-hard/needy, so I just walked away in a relaxed manner. I felt pissed and rejected, but then 20 minutes later she texted me “Here it is then” (I’m a non-English European translating from my native tongue, so don’t read anything into any of the literal wordings).

      Me, 70 minutes later: How sweet
      Her: nothing so far (90 mins since my text)

      I take it this means not all is lost (if she didn’t want to see me again, she wouldn’t have texted, right?). How do I proceed? Is there any time frame in which I should contact her, or can I just do nothing for one or two weeks (while just seeing her on thursday) and then invite her to go party together or something. Ideally I’d like to fuck her at her place during the daytime sometime next week or the week thereafter or so, but how the hell do I start arranging that, and shouldn’t I still be toning it down for a while?

      Geez, this stuff is complicated, lol.

      Also, if you know of any forum/blog with field reports broken down as thoroughly as you did, please link them. I don’t mind if they are a few years old, seems it’d still be amazing learning material.


      • YaReally
        on April 24, 2012 at 9:02 pm
        Original Link

        Sweet, I was hoping for a follow-up.

        Just as a warning: What I’m doing here is VERY in-depth analysis of REALLY subtle social dynamics that are going on. You don’t NEED to know all of this stuff to lay this girl and a lot of guys who see this will go “YaReally, dude, quit over-thinking this stuff, just be cool jeeze I got laid by just being a cool guy”. You could probably just wing it and stand a decent chance of still pulling it off. Or you could wing it, fuck it up, and write her off as stupid because when you txted her “come over and suck my cock” she deleted your number.

        The stuff I’m detailing is what separates the guys playing the numbers game from the guys who can consistently turn their interactions into lays. I won’t get laid by every girl I open, I’ll even get shot down cold a bunch…BUT, if a girl is in ANY way interested in me, we WILL end up having sex. I won’t fuck it up with miscalibration or doing the wrong thing or getting stuck on her ASD/LMR or anything. That’s what understanding these really subtle nuances does for your skill-set.

        “first few eye-contacts she looked away quickly”

        She’s looking at you for cues on how to feel about the situation. If you’re acting like there’s something to be akward about, she’ll know “okay I should feel akward”. If you’re acting normal she’ll (as she appears to have) settle back down and go “okay I guess what happened was normal”.

        “but after that things became kinda normal, except that she seemed to laugh excessively at my jokes and applauded my performance more than anyone else.”

        She can’t say she wants to fuck you again, because then she’d be a slutty slut slut. But she can make sure you notice her and attempt to lead things to sex in a fun and cool non-akward way again. This is the equivalent of the girls who could stand ANYWHERE in the bar but they just “happen” to keep standing right beside you. They won’t say “hi, want to fuck?”, but they’re hoping you’ll be able to read their girl-code and take the reins so they can go “it just happened” or “it was his fault!!”

        “Based on what you wrote I felt it would be ok to display some vulnerability/show her that I like her”

        Yep. But minimal, no big heart to heart talks or anything. It’s almost like all you two are doing right now is winking to eachother and sub-communicating “hey, that thing the other day? We’re cool, k? We’ll probably do it again, but we’ll let it just “happen”, ’cause that’s the kind of guy I am, I’m a guy who just takes life as it comes.” This is kind of like how two alphas will recognize eachother as alphas and give eachother a head note and communicate a bunch of respect for eachother through it without saying anything. It’s all subtle sub-communications.

        This is also where most guys will fuck up. They want to TALK. They want to discuss what HAPPENED. They want to define the relationship. They want to make sure she’s okay. They want to make sure she likes him. They want to make sure it’s okay to her that he likes her. Blah blah blah. We’ve been socially conditioned by romantic comedies and shit to believe this is the way to go, but 1) it snuffs out attraction, and 2) it’s totally incongruent with who you were when she hooked up with you.

        Her BIGGEST fear right now is that you aren’t REALLY the guy she fucked. ie – you were this cool aloof sexually adventurous badass who took life as it is the night she gave it up to you…are you still that guy? Was she right to trust you? Or was she DUPED and TRICKED because you’re actually a needy clingy loser who needs her to complete his life?

        Once she can confirm to herself that yes, you ARE that guy from the other night, she’ll warm right up and be totally comfortable with what happened. This is a big part of why, as an experienced PUAs, there aren’t girls who hate me after I fuck them. There are girls who don’t want to fuck me anymore for various reasons, but you wouldn’t be able to find a single one that hates me. Because I’m congruent with who I was when I first seduced them. Girls that fuck me look back on it as a fun adventure they’re glad we had together.

        On the flip side, this is why a lot of naturals have former fucks who HATE their guts. Because those guys will go “oh ya baby I totally love you” and lie about themselves and say whatever else they have to to get in her pants, fuck her, and then never talk to her again. So when those girls realize they’ve been “duped”, they’re pissed and regret the whole thing.

        “after class I walked up to her and said: I have to admit… everytime I got a text this week I secretly hoped it came from you.”

        Whoooo, fuck, you just took that ball and ran with it hey lol It’s okay though, this isn’t horrible. I would’ve gone with something a little more subtle, but as long as you handle her reaction in a cool congruent way, you’re fine. She’s gonna shit-test you for that one though, just ’cause you way over-stepped the line. Like you could’ve gone home without talking to her and she probably would’ve txted you, or you could’ve txted her something fun and casual and been fine. But because you went way out there, and you’re actually being VERRRRRY slightly incongruent to the “YaReally Player” vibe you had when you guys hooked up, she has to test you.

        “Her: how sweet, I disappointed you then, huh?”

        And there’s the test. She’s trying to reverse the frame so that now you’re chasing her ’cause she’s the prize…this isn’t a path you want to go down lol Remember how in my last breakdown I said “Her hamster will just go “oh wow, see? He thinks you’re a slut so he had to grab your number from the teacher ’cause he wants easy pussy so he thinks he can just txt you out of the blue and get in your pants again, you dirty whore.”” Well that’s what happened here. Her hamster went “oh ya, of COURSE he wanted me to txt him all week, so he could get my slutty easy pussy again, god that was such a mistake I’d better make him take me to dinner so he respects me next time”.

        “Then she insta looked away, as if expecting to find another subject,”

        This is the same thing guys run into when they open a girl with “Hi, you’re gorgeous.” then sit and wait for a response. The girl doesn’t know what to say/do from there because the guy stopped leading and it feels like he’s just saying it to get a reaction. Your equiv was “I was hoping you’d txt me.”………..(well?? respond, woman!!)

        You’ve basically given her the reins and let her take the lead on your relationship. It’s very subtle.

        “I had no clue what to do but felt that entering her silly frame would be supplicating”

        Yep.

        “and re-changing the subject would be try-hard/needy”

        Yep! Good instincts.

        “so I just walked away in a relaxed manner.”

        Perfect. You kind of put yourself in a shitty spot and this was really the only way out of it once you got there. It’s the point where anything you do is going to have a negative effect, so the only thing you can do is pick the least negative option lol You didn’t completely sabotage yourself, that’s why you ended up getting the number, but you jumped up onto a very thin tight-rope there. :)

        “I felt pissed and rejected”

        Don’t stress it. That was a confusing situation if you haven’t been in it a lot. This is the stuff that frustrates the fuck out of non-game guys.

        “but then 20 minutes later she texted me “Here it is then””

        Perfect, and expected. :) If you had dwelled on “Hey, no but seriously, are we okay? Do you want to hang out again? Can I see you again?” with her, you probably wouldn’t have gotten her number. By walking away and not showing how pissed/rejected you felt, you left it up to her to fill in the blanks of “what is he thinking?” Since her experience with you is that you’re cool and aloof and sexual, she’s going to fill those blanks in with “oh I hope he doesn’t hate me, maybe I shouldn’t have been so rude”. Whereas if her experience with you had been that you’re desperate and needy and clingy, she’d fill those blanks with “oh he’s all butt-hurt and sad, what a loser”.

        You’re the guy who’s airplane was on fire but still somehow managed to pull off a perfect 3 point landing, to the amazement of all your passengers lol

        Her giving you her number is, like at the start of this breakdown, her way of girl-coding “I want this to happen again but I can’t say it…so FINE, whatever, here’s my NUMBER, pfft, take it I SUPPOSE………..(ummm, but plllleeeeease make this happen again in a way that I won’t feel slutty, k?)”

        “Me, 70 minutes later: How sweet
        Her: nothing so far (90 mins since my text)”

        Careful. Not sure how the “How sweet” comes off in your language, but don’t fall into her frame of being sarcastic and a jerk to eachother. She’s being a jerk to you because you brought it on yourself by playing that a little shakey, plus she has to shit-test you to see how congruent you are. You want to be the solid oak tree while she’s the flightly little squirrel running around it.

        Don’t txt her again till she txts you. And remember: she CAN’T txt you “so do you want to hang out again?” because then she’d have to feel slutty and admit she wants sex and risk you thinking she’s a slut. So she’s not going to see “How sweet” and go “lol shut up, when are we hanging out again?” Give it a couple days, or even wait till the weekend, and txt her with something concrete and decisive like “Going to BarName tonight, you should come.” Like, you don’t want to text “so do you want to hang out again?” You’re a man, you know what you want, what you want is to see her again, so don’t pussyfoot around it by asking if she’s cool with that or if she WANTS to. You KNOW she wants to, that’s why she gave you her number…you don’t need to confirm that anymore and she doesn’t want you to have to confirm it anymore.

        How this will probably play out is you’ll push for the meet up with a decisive attitude (“Let’s hit BarName this weekend.” VS “Do you want to hang out this weekend?”) and she’ll play super coy and sarcastic (the way she said “I disappointed you then, huh?” without acknowledging flat out that she wants to see you again). She’ll probably try to flake on you or make up excuses. Stick to either pushing thru them in a dominant way (“No, it’ll be awesome, I’ll pick you up at 8.”) or not responding to her txts (like if she responded to the “pick you up at 8″ thing with “can’t tonight, sorry!” just don’t bother responding, but push for a meet-up again another day). The main thing is to avoid doing anything super clingy, because that’s not congruent to who she fucked, and avoid doing anything that openly addresses that sex is going to happen…

        Sorry this is getting complicated, there are a lot of nuances going on here lol Basically because she’s still testing you and still doesn’t fully know whether you think she’s a slut or not, you’re back to having to play the “come over and we’ll watch a movie” game where you both pretend you’re not going to have sex. She may even tell you flat out “okay but we’re NOT having sex k? I don’t want to ruin our friendship blah blah blah” stuff. Your entire goal right now is to simply get her alone with you, however you have to. So if that means inviting her out with you and your friends, cool, if that means inviting her over for a movie and agreeing “ya I don’t want to ruin our friendship, it’s cool we’ll just watch the movie you can sit on the floor while I sit on the couch lol” etc. that’s the way to go. Once you guys are alone together, she’ll help you escalate things again because she wants it to happen, she just wants it to happen in a way that she doesn’t feel like a slut.

        “I take it this means not all is lost (if she didn’t want to see me again, she wouldn’t have texted, right?).”

        Yep.

        “Is there any time frame in which I should contact her, or can I just do nothing for one or two weeks (while just seeing her on thursday) and then invite her to go party together or something.”

        That would be perfect. You have her number, she’s not going to change her phone number anytime soon so you’re fine. If you can hold off then don’t even bother txting her this week. Joke around like normal next Thursday at your class, and then throw out a casual invite to something. If she’ll come out to party with you, great, you can both hang around till the end of the night and once you get her alone you can escalate. Don’t escalate in front of your friends or her friends, she’ll probably reject it worried about their judgement and all the questions she’d have to answer if suddenly you started sucking face with her as soon as you guys got to the party. Get her alone.

        But keep in mind that there’s a decent chance she’ll come out with you somewhere, but, even if she WANTS to fuck you, she’ll reject you, just so she can tell her hamster “SEE? I have willpower, I’m not a slut!! I showed him I’m not a slut!!” and then she can fuck you the next time lol If that happens, like she won’t fully go for it, it’s cool, just back off like it’s no big deal and treat her like normal. If she tests you with this, it’ll be to see how you react. If you just see her as an easy slut you’ll react like “wtf bitch, you fucked me before but you won’t now?? This is bullshit!!” If you’re truly a cool chill guy who “takes life as it comes”, you’ll just grin and back off but unapologetically try again another time. :)

        “Ideally I’d like to fuck her at her place during the daytime sometime next week or the week thereafter or so, but how the hell do I start arranging that,”

        Patience lol She’ll help you arrange it, but it could be a few weeks before she’s comfortable enough for that. If you handle this flawlessly, you can make a girl settle down from the headspace she’s in in just a few minutes (I’ve done it a ton of times so this is really easy for me)…but this is new territory for you so it’s gonna be a bit shakier and you’re going to overstep or understep here and there so it could take a few weeks before she settles down and is cool to fuck again.

        “and shouldn’t I still be toning it down for a while?”

        Yep lol The fucked up part is ALLLLLLLL of this retarded over-analysis is because of your ONE comment about “dick between your lips” when you were cuddled up after the lay. Crazy, hey? If you had played it better (gone for her number then and treated it with a “wow we have so much chemistry that this just HAPPENED, we couldn’t control ourselves so there’s no need to feel slutty blah blah blah” frame), you wouldn’t have run into any of this stuff. :)

        “Geez, this stuff is complicated, lol.”

        lol you’ll get the hang of it. If I had to boil this whole breakdown into a few simple notes for here on out with this girl I’d say:

        1) Before every text you send her, ask yourself “is this what a guy who takes life as it comes would text?”

        2) Expect to be tested, she needs to know you’re the same guy she fucked. To pass her tests, just stay congruent to being that guy.

        3) Push for hanging out again, but with no sexual vibe to it, and expect her to flake on you, reject you, and/or play coy for a bit before you finally meet up again. Take those things in stride and stay cool about it. Persistant, but cool with her avoiding it. The mindset is “oh, that’s cute, you’re trying to resist…but we both know this is going to happen sooner or later so go ahead, try to reject me…it won’t work ;)

        4) When you DO hang out again, get her 100% alone before you do ANY sort of escalation. Keep things 100% friend zone (no heavy kino, no referring to what happened the night you fucked, etc.) until no one else is around…then you’ll find you can start escalating again. If you try to escalate when there are people around to judge her, you’ll force her to reject you.

        5) Be patient, this could take a couple weeks or a month. I’d say a couple weeks, if you go with not really txting her (imagine what that’ll do to her hamster, you spend all that effort to get her number and then don’t bother txting her…she’ll wonder wtf you’re thinking) and then act cool and treat her like normal on Thursday and either that week or the next invite her to a party.

        It’s hard to give really certain advice because I’m not there and don’t know the people involved so I mean, she could just txt you tomorrow “Hey I want to fuck you!! Come over now!” and you guys bang eachother. But this is a breakdown of how situations like this normally play out. :)

        “Also, if you know of any forum/blog with field reports broken down as thoroughly as you did, please link them. I don’t mind if they are a few years old, seems it’d still be amazing learning material.”

        http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?action=prevnext&offset=500&grp=alt.seduction.fast.fieldreports

        These are really old archives (2004). This was around the time the most analysis was being done. Nowadays there are so many newbies and everyone things they’re a pro because they read a couple blogs or talked to a couple dozen girls, so there’s a lot more keyboard jockey bullshit analysis of Field Reports in most communities these days. Blind leading the blind type stuff. These older archives are when guys like Mystery, Tyler, Style, etc. were helping break stuff down. Most of the advice different people give in these archives tends to be similar because guys back then actually went out and trained and came to similar conclusions as eachother…whereas now you’ll get one guy going “MAN UP! Don’t be a pussy, just tell her to suck your cock” while another guy says “give it a few weeks and then go indirect” because they don’t actually have any experience and they’re just chanting whatever the latest fad saying is.

        Good luck dude! Hope it works out! You’ve done great so far.



The Numbers Game Fallacy

Original Link

via Heartiste

Peter M.
on April 17, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Original Link

OK, I’ve given Heartiste compliments before, but this post contradicts what I see in real life, in this way:

PUAs – both “naturals” (born sociopaths) and those who train themselves into it NEVER take a break. They are always playing the game, so part of their success IS the numbers game.

Which leads me to another thing I think Heartiste is absolutely wrong about: all the talk about 9s and 10s and how women are old and undesirable after their mid-20s and whatnot. In real life, the PUAs I see, both naturals and others, often do sleep with the 23-year-old “9″ — but they also sleep with the 50-year-old “3″ – they literally sleep with anything with a vagina. They are as obsessed and one-pointed as any Aspie/Trekkie type.

I see this over and over again in real life. Most recently, a douchey pick-up who people tend to find arrogant: well yes, he did bed a pretty-enough 25-year-old recently I know about, but then he went off and started bedding this 31-year-old dark-skinned Bulgarian with a crooked nose, a mole, and a body that is both too thin and without any tone at all. And the thing of it is, he’s actually a really good-looking guy himself: great face, tall, great body. I’m no PUA, so my sexual life is generally (though not always) inactive, but even I wouldn’t have bothered to sleep with that 31-year-old if I had the chance.



Have A Look

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 13th, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Original Link

Good post. BradP’s big on the concept of Sexy Stereotyping:

http://bradp.com/3-real-life-examples-sexy-stereotyping-action

His fashion bible eBook thing is a good read if you’re new and totally clueless about fashion.

But ya peacocking can be as simple as wearing a t-shirt and jeans to a high-end club where the other guys are in suits, or a dress shirt to a casual bar where everyone’s in t-shirts.

Far as how important a nice pair of shoes or hat or watch goes, I look at it like if you’re boring that’s when she starts scanning you for reasons to like you. “zzzz this guy is cute but ehhhh…well at least he has nice shoes…I’ll give him a chance I guess…” I went thru a summer where my black dressy shoes were literally duct-taped together on the outside cause I couldn’t afford new ones. landed a super “good girl” year+ long girlfriend in those months, she specifically told her friends to check my shoes for her lol my game was super tight that night cause I had chatted up most of the room before I saw these girls.

But they do give girls a reason to open you with a compliment/ioi (Mystery’s crazy shit gets you opened with a shit-test, of course technically passing a shit-test is a better opportunity to build attraction blah blah blah) so I’m not talking smack about getting a nice pair of shoes cause like Chuck explained you get approached, just saying don’t avoid approaching just cause you’re wearing your shitty runners that day.

Anyway, it’s Friday. Wear whatever you want, long as you go out tonight. Try peacocking tonight if you haven’t before. Try dressing plain if you always have necklaces and attention-grabbing shirts etc. have fun!


The Feminism Shit Test

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on April 13, 2012 at 12:10 am
Original Link

“gay.”

Anyway here’s a video on social proof:



50 Shades of Twilight

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 12th, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Original Link

Thanks to this book it looks like it’s time to approach cougars, MILFs, and married chicks with really sexually dominant direct game!

…no wait that’s always worked.


The Surrogate Boyfriend

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 11th, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Original Link

Healthy outlook. Thumbs up lol

I think newbies need to go thru a “sex or GTFO” stage because they don’t have the calibration to understand when they’re benefitting or not benefitting from a friendship with a female so it’s better for their training that they just make it black and white like that. Like telling them to never buy a girl a drink. Down the road when you’ve developed a stronger frame than most girls, it’s different. Tho I think what you say about the type of friendship to expect from a woman VS a man is a very important distinction.


The Surrogate Boyfriend

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 11th, 2012 at 6:54 pm
Original Link

That IS weird. I notice you deleted my comment trying to help you understand your alcohol addiction from your blog lol what’s that about hamsters? ;)


Another Game Concept Validated: Personality Is Adjustable

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via Heartiste

YaReally
on April 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm
Original Link

ya, this is why the “sure you can lure her in with your “game” thing but once you run out of lines THEN WHAT?? She’ll see the REAL you and you’ll die miserable and lonely” people don’t get what we do.

They don’t understand that while you might “fake it till you make it” at first, over time the things you do become who you are. Your beliefs and attitudes and behaviors have legitimately changed from your old self.

There’s that thing about how it takes like 21 days of doing something and then your brain rewires itself to accept that new habit as a part of you. Anyone who’s done a few positivity challenges successfully will find its helped legit make them a more positive person.

This is all a big part of why we stress “go out”. And not go out once every couple weeks with some buddies to a half empty pub and have wings and beers and flirt with a waitress. Go out 4-7 days/nights a week and hit up 10+ girls each time. You need repetition and reference experience to change your inner wiring.

Some guys have it harder than others depending on where they started from. Some guys are cool social dudes who just need a few tips in a weekend. Some guys are so fucked they need years of work before they get their first lay. I’m only 5’9″ I’d probably have to work harder to be awesome at basketball than a 6’4″ athletic guy. But if it were important to me I’d dedicate the time to it and I’d probably have to spend 10x as much time training.

Most guys just hide behind shit like “I’m an introvert” and “I’m too old” and “thats just not ME” to avoid the pain that comes with overhauling yourself.

This is why the % of people who actually break thru to the other side of pickup is super low and why there’s so many “I tried it but it just didn’t work for me, that’s just not me” haters. Most guys give up or never really put all their effort into it.

“Hitting bottom isn’t a weekend retreat. It’s not a goddamn seminar.”

Some people don’t want to believe you can change yourself because if they admitted it was possible then they’d have to admit that all the shit in their life that they hate or all the wasted years of their life were actually totally under their control…they were just too lazy, ignorant, or trapped in the matrix to fix themselves. That’s a scary thought. It’s why guys with money cling to the idea that money makes them attractive. To admit its irrelevant is to admit that they worked for 30+ years to climb the corporate food chain to achieve a goal that was false from the start…it’s too much of a mindfuck for some people.

A big part of pickup is destroying your ego and admitting that everything you knew was wrong so that you can rebuild yourself from a new foundation.

“Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction…”



Another Game Concept Validated: Personality Is Adjustable

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Mexican Pete
on April 12, 2012 at 9:11 am
Original Link

“That’s really what game is — the active transformation of your personality from mundane to mesmerizing”

Well said: A layer of charm can be acquired by most people, with time and effort.

But I don’t get the pick-up “boot camp” concept: You can’t reinvent yourself in three days for 5 grand. Learning game is as at least as major a project as a post graduate degree or learning a skilled trade.

[heartiste: mastering game would take years. but you can get pretty instant results by simply dropping a neg or two in a conversation with a girl. however, it's true that neophytes overestimate how much good bootcamps will do for them. instructors should be setting realistic expectations.]


  • YaReally
    on April 12, 2012 at 4:19 pm
    Original Link

    A lot of guys attend boot camps just to have their reality blown open. Like to see “holy shit this is possible”.

    It’s like if you were studying how to fly but were still semi-skeptical. Maybe you can jump a little higher now but that’s about it. Maybe it’s exaggerated, maybe only certain people can do it, maybe you’re just not that type…

    Then I offer you a boot camp and you come along for a weekend and my buddies and I are flying all over the fucking place and we give you enough basics to get you flying maybe not as high as us but higher than you’ve ever thought you could fly.

    It only lasts for a couple days but then you go back home and you go “fuck, okay, I’m back to having trouble flying like before…but I DID it, I remember doing it, and those other guys did it and they were just normal guys like me, so I know I CAN do this if I work at it!!” and they’re inspired from there to chase the results they now fully realize they’re capable of.

    On the flip side there are guys who just have money to burn and take a ton of boot camps but never actually work on their skills when they get home so it’s all wasted each time.

    Boot camp is just a jump-start. I’ve never taken one myself but I’ve given buddies or just random nice dudes I’ve met on Death Row at the bar a few insta-bootcamps lol



A Testament To The Power Of Game

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via Heartiste

Me
on April 11, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Original Link

Funniest thing about this story is that she liked you because you were being honest with her. You weren’t honest with her at all; you were gaming her the whole time. I’ve been honest with girls and there is no better way to completely turn them off. “Honest” to a woman means “tells me what I want to hear” or maybe “stands up to me.” What men call “honest” women hear as icky and mean.


  • YaReally
    on April 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm
    Original Link

    Ultimate game is extremely honest. You’ll figure that out down the road.



A Testament To The Power Of Game

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YaReally
on April 11, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Original Link

Good breakdown.

Turning point for me was when I banged the hottest girl I’d ever banged (she’s still one of the hottest) and we were shooting the shit and she admitted to me that she’s a bitch to people because no one ever calls her out on it. They treat her special and let her get away with anything, even treating her best friends like shit, because she’s hot.

She actually ended up crying and telling me that she wished someone would call her out on it because then she could feel “normal” and know people were being honest with her. Part of what was attractive about me to her (despite repeated protests that I’m not her type at all and she didn’t want any of her friends to know she was fucking me) was that I teased her when she did stupid shit or scolded her when she acted bratty etc.

It was a fascinating night and cleared up for me why really hot girls respond the best to negs, teasing, scolding, etc. even if it pisses them off or makes them confront their own behavior. It’s a taste of someone in their fake-ass world of “no baby you’re perfect” being honest with them.

Funny related story by Tyler from RSD where he calls some hooker chicks out (story starts at the 14:00 mark):



A Testament To The Power Of Game

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John Dark
on April 11, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Original Link

This is such an inspiring post! I am late fifties, English, lately into game, out of a marriage to an entitled princess. Moving from Beta as quickly as possible. Recently gamed beautiful Asian woman twenty-five years younger than me, but she flaked on the date. Still learning, very encouraged by this post (and learnt a lot). Would someone be kind enough to remind me what the 7-hour rule is?


  • YaReally
    on April 11, 2012 at 7:38 pm
    Original Link

    Old school PUA concept that it takes about 7 hours in person from meet to sex with a new girl. Whether that’s an hour when you met, a 4 hour shopping trip a month later then a 2 hour date a few weeks later, or whether that’s a 7 hour adventure night etc. the idea was that it took around 7 hours for a girl to get comfortable and for a guy to build enough attraction.

    At the time this was mind-blowing because it flew in the face of traditional “3+ dinner dates before you get a kiss” dating. 7 hours seemed incredibly short.

    Now we’ve got it streamlined down to under 7 hours but a lot of those are fool’s mate or flash game or just the planets aligning right combined with really efficient game. So the 7 hour rule is still a decent guideline.

    If you’ve spent 7+ hours in person with a girl and still haven’t gotten anywhere, you’re doing something wrong.


    • YaReally
      on April 11, 2012 at 7:47 pm
      Original Link

      uhhh just to soften it a bit, I don’t mean you suck ass if it’s been more than 7 hours. Just that there’s something (or multiple things) in your game that can use some polishing.

      In your case just being an older guy starting out, I’d guess that your vibe was more friendly/gentlemanly than “if we’re alone together we both know I’m going to pin you up against the wall and rail you” lol not a big deal if that’s the case, it just means in future interactions try to remember to push the sexual side of things more…like showing that you have intentions with her that go beyond making small talk over a tradition dinner date.

      And don’t stress it if you can’t get her back on the hook. How many 50+ men would be mind blown to get a chance to flirt with a girl like that! You’ve got a second chance to shape your lovelife now that you’re rid of the princess so hang in there even if the flakes are frustrating at times. You’ll learn how to deal with them. :)



A Testament To The Power Of Game

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Fred Rotten
on April 11, 2012 at 6:01 pm
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Geez, I can’t stop re-reading it!

One of my MAJOR stumbling blocks is shit tests. I am fighting YEARS of systemic, metastasized beta-ness, so I rarely recognize subtle shit tests for what they are.

I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into my CH studies– have spent months reading and re-reading the archives. If anyone could recommend a good resource for learning more about shit tests, I’d be very grateful.


  • YaReally
    on April 11, 2012 at 7:55 pm
    Original Link

    “If anyone could recommend a good resource for learning more about shit tests, I’d be very grateful.”

    The ultimate resource is: Go out more. I’m not being a dick but you’ve already read everything, you can read till your eyes fall out and you still won’t be able to handle shit-tests in person. The way to internalize it is to go out and approach 10+ women a night a bare minimum of 2 nights a week but preferably more. You’ll fuck up a ton until you learn what works and what doesn’t and how to calibrate to it.

    You can’t get stronger by reading books on weightlifting, you have to actually go to the gym and lift till it hurts!

    If you are going out a ton already, you can get massive shit-test experience fast by peacocking with something ridiculous or by using really sexual or offensive openers. Thats pretty much jumping into the flames lol I recommend you do it at a bar/club you don’t normally go to because you will fuck up a bunch and probably piss some people off till you internalize it all. :)


    • Big Bang
      on April 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm
      Original Link

      I Disagree Yareally. There is very little that is written that is SPECIFIC to openers, flirting and good game technique. It’s well intentioned to advise everyone to have an alpha frame and don’t blow the shit tests. But that’s like telling someone that’s never played a guitar to “not focus on technique, just play the music as you feel it. And hit that A Major chord”. In other words We need specifics.


      • YaReally
        on April 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm
        Original Link

        Linked some stuff down below, enjoy!



Firepower
on April 11, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Original Link

Yes, Game is indeed, powerful.

But honestly, if a lawyer can’t get pussy by simply acting cocky about the fact he’s a lawyer – making savoy richer and churning your way through all 3459 pages of The Game, just add to my cynicism.

Glamorous Career and perceived income potential, is over half the battle.


  • hiphopanonamous
    on April 11, 2012 at 7:15 pm
    Original Link

    Go watch one episode of “Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo to see why career and income do not equal half the battle being won in this day and age. Those guys literally pay to have HOT girls shoved in their faces and most of them still fuck it up.


    • Firepower
      on April 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm
      Original Link

      Dude. That’s a scripted TV show.


      • YaReally
        on April 12, 2012 at 3:53 pm
        Original Link

        You could use that other informative example they call real life. You could go out to high-end clubs and befriend some rich good looking dudes on Death Row and encourage them to approach girls with you and watch what happens.



A Testament To The Power Of Game

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dice3510
on April 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Original Link

What is your response to the “numbers game” argument?

[heartiste: i strongly suspect you are a troll, but since i am in a magnanimous mood, i'll answer your question. the "numbers game" fallacy is similar to the "hours game" fallacy. think of a great musician. he has to put in a lot of hours of practice to get great at his craft. once greatness is achieved, a person asserting an "hours game" argument would contend that the musician's continued greatness depends on all the hours he puts into playing. but that is not the case. a great musician, once trained, can play five minutes a week and still be great compared to the non-musician or hobbyist musician.
so it is with game and pickup. logically and unavoidably, most neophytes will make more approaches in order to put their game theory to practice in the field. that is how you get good. simply reading about game and approaching one woman per year won't cut it. but once a number of up-front approaches have been made -- once the steepest part of the learning curve has been crested -- and the aspiring seducer has improved his game acumen, then he can reduce his number of approaches while still enjoying a very good sex and love life because his odds of any one approach resulting in a fuck close have measurably increased over his previous, game-less baseline.
and from personal experience, this is exactly what happened to me. when i first tried game, i kept my approach numbers at the same level i had before game. once i started tasting improved success using game, i increased my approach number because 1. i was excited to see how much i could accomplish using game, and 2. i had to approach more women to try out all the new things i was learning.
naturally, my close rate increased with my increased approach rate, owing mostly to my game skills but also partly to the larger pool of women i was hitting on. (in contrast, had i increased my pool of prospects while using NO GAME, my close rate would not have increased by nearly as much.) then, after a few years of this fucking around for fun and sexual profit, i decided that i was interested in longer term relations with women, so i gradually pared back my number of approaches to about the same level i had before learning game. and a funny thing happened. i was having more success with the fewer women i was approaching than i would have had without game. i had a skillset called game and it increased my positive interactions with women across the board. iow, my RATE of rejection was lower, and my rate of success higher.
that's the way doubters need to view the numbers game fallacy: numbers matter, but game matters more. the two work in concert until enough competency is achieved that numbers are no longer needed.]


  • YaReally
    on April 12, 2012 at 4:02 pm
    Original Link

    That was a fuckin solid response. I’m stealing it for when I explain that stuff to new guys lol


  • dice3510
    on April 13, 2012 at 1:20 pm
    Original Link

    No, for the nth time, I am not a troll. Thank for your response.

    If what you write is true, then that is good evidence against the numbers game argument. However, on the internet, you can find a lot of “field reports” from gamers who do insane numbers of approaches with pathetically low success rates, who subsequently proclaim that “game” works. For example:

    http://www.rsdnation.com/node/206177/forum

    Also, while “game” encompasses learning to be more confident, how is the fact that adopting the full package of “game” worked for you evidence that any particular spect of game works rather than simply being more confident?


    • YaReally
      on April 13, 2012 at 6:42 pm
      Original Link

      Why not go out and find out the answers to your questions? It’s all sitting there, waiting for you. You just have to leave your house.



A Testament To The Power Of Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on April 12, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Original Link

All the basics including a huge section on Opening:

http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/

Shit-Tests dissected by Tyler Durden:

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=5&mn=104141726052964

Happy reading. :)


  • YaReally
    on April 12, 2012 at 3:41 pm
    Original Link

    Oops shit that was supposed to be in reply to Big Bang up above who was asking for this stuff. Effin phone lol



Bad News For Smart Nerds

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YaReally
on April 10, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Original Link

“The usual caveats apply to self-assessment studies like this one: what women say they want in a man and what they actually go for are often enough not the same thing. I tend to frown upon self-reported sex surveys because of this psychological anomaly”

sigh…these studies are so annoying because they completely ignore this fact and then they just result in another round of “see?? Women said that looks and your CEO job matter!!!11″

My buddies and I are routinely fucking girls who don’t know what we do for a living, who we don’t spend money on, who we don’t take to our own apartments, who we don’t take out for dinners, who we don’t drive around (I don’t even have a car)…ok looks-wise he’s actually tall and has a 6-pack lol but I’m average height and I’ve got the hairy beer belly (and back lol). And on top of that we take girls off of guys who are obviously flaunting their looks, money, cars, suits, watches, pulling out literal wads of $100 bills to pay for girls drinks etc.

None of this shit matters unless you’re trying to marry and provide for the girl and even then she’ll overlook a shitload of it and make excuses for you (she’ll think you have “So much potential” etc. because her hamster is trying to keep her from admitting she made a bad choice). That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to achieve some of these things for your own satisfaction with life, but they’re not relevant at all with attraction.

Anyway, just throwing that in there before the inevitable xsplat types chime in with more bullshit about “(nerdling voice) see this scientific study proves these things are attraction triggerssss!! women said so!!!!”

Scientific studies still don’t think the g-spot exists, don’t trust these things when their “study” is asking people for opinions lol



xsplat
on April 10, 2012 at 8:51 pm
Original Link

they wanted and expected their partners to be masculine, fit, physically attractive, loving, educated, a few years older than themselves, and desirous of home and children, with a high income potential.

isn’t saying quite the same thing as “aloof, socially savvy and dominant men pounded puss”

[heartiste: you gotta get off this looksnmoney uber alles kick you're on. it's unseemly. the only reason it doesn't say "aloof, dominant and socially savvy" is because 1. the study authors didn't ask that and 2. women rarely reply to sex surveys in those terms, even when that's exactly what they fall for. it's kinda like how women will say a man is "cute" as a catch-all term to verbalize all the strange and wonderful feelings they feel when they listen to him speak or watch the way he comports himself.]

This blog has as it’s main theme that game is primary, and that the prime component of game is confidence, and that all other characteristics are attractive only in as much as they lead to confidence. Every time there is evidence to the contrary it is glossed over.

Confidence is ALSO attractive. It is one attractive trait among many.

As Rollo says; looks, game, money. Choose two.

[i don't agree with this equation. looks alone, if in the upper 5-10%, can get a man laid. game alone, if tight, can get a man laid. money alone, if vast enough, can get a man laid.]


  • Laconophile
    on April 10, 2012 at 9:27 pm
    Original Link

    How do you choose looks or riches?

    [heartiste: you can't choose looks, although you can work out and maximize what you've got. you can work for riches, although your ability to do so hinges greatly on your inherited inborn ambition and smarts. most men are neither good-looking enough to rely on that to pick up girls, nor rich enough to attract golddiggers. that is why this blog emphasizes game. it is a major attractiveness characteristic that, unlike some others, really can be radically improved and is useful for pickup.]

    For the majority of men who aren’t hiding great looks under mountains of blubber or wasting away a natural talent at making fortunes on video games, those two have already been chosen for them.

    ["a man's gotta know his limitations" -- dirty harry. this is not a pessimistic prescription. rather, it's a clarion call to find your strengths and stop ineffectually toiling at those things over which you have little control or which you think you excel but you don't.]


    • xsplat
      on April 10, 2012 at 9:41 pm
      Original Link

      A man can develop a portion of his looks. He can develop his physique. And a man can develop his income. Those are life choices that affect attraction.


      • YaReally
        on April 11, 2012 at 2:28 pm
        Original Link

        And a guy with game will blow him out every time.

        If you have no game whatsoever, looks or money is great. It puts you above the poor ugly guys with no game whatsoever. But you are all still bottom of the barrel of a girl’s choice if there are guys with game around.

        It’s like choosing “which girl is the least ugly” when theres no hot ones around.



xsplat
on April 10, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Original Link

If H wasn’t tall and handsome, I bet he’d not feel that game was quite so sufficient. He already has looks, and doesn’t need much other than game to show great fitness. He probably even also has some money. He already stands out. This colors his experience and teachings. He can safely attribute success only to game, ignoring his other qualities as a component of his success.

Remember, these attributes are additive. You can take a handsome man with no money and no game and he won’t do well. Add game and he will. So some would therefore say that game was responsible. But you can also take an ugly man with no money and add game and he won’t have access to as many of the hot girls that the handsome man will. So it’s not just down to game. Attractive attributes are additive.

And some women are well known to screen for income. Additive.

There is a guy in the community: Cameron Teone . He used to be a part of the community and I think he was even mentioned in the book: ‘the game’

He wrote an article about other teachers and their edge, I’ll copy and paste some of it here:

Quote:…I am questioning the validity of the concepts. SOME of the concepts are good to learn.
What 90% of them fail to tell you is the advantages that they give themselves in this arena. What are those advantages?

I’d like to call it an “Edge.” Everyone presents some sort of an edge which separates him from the rest of the pack of eligible men. There is nothing wrong with this. This is not to vilify anyone. It’s only bringing attention to it so that YOU can start working on your edge….

If you’re obsessed with having really physically attractive women at any cost, then you have to increase your edge. You want to date lots of models? You’d better increase your edge by quite a bit…

So what gives one guy an edge over the other? The edge has to be something that separates from the rest of the pack on some level. It gives you some sort of ability to be distinguished. This could be something you’re born with or something you develop, cultivate, or financially acquire.

•Let’s start with the obvious first: Being very physically good looking, having a very athletic and appealing physique, being 6’5″ tall (195cm), and so forth… These can all serve as advantages.

•It could be personality or individual traits: Being a great conversationalist or storyteller, great sense of humor, being charming, being charismatic, high social intelligence,

•It could be things you worked for: Be it making lots of money, prestigious job, being a doctor/surgeon, or working jobs that are conducive to being around women, (club promoters, DJs, bouncers, even a yoga teacher).

Guys who are good at drawing women into their life have an edge that they intrinsically and inherently understand. It may be subconscious and they may not realize it. They may even be super good-looking guys who genuinely think they’re pulling some game out of their ass, but in reality, they’re living off of their physical looks. Then, after the fact, their conscious mind is rationalizing as to the reasons why. I am fairly convinced that there are men who get laid despite their antics. That meaning that what they consider “Game” is something annoying women are willing to overlook because they’re interested in them for other reasons.

Let’s look at the Seduction Community and gurus you may know, or have heard of……Let’s cut through the chase. I am going to give you real life examples of dating-teachers. I’ll explain what their edge is…

• Mystery: Erik is 6’5 inches tall, (Yes, height is an edge.) That, in and of by itself is an edge. Yes, there are plenty of tall dorks who repel women but if you have the basics down, the height quickly becomes an edge. He is also a magician, a self proclaimed “Super-Star daredevil illusionist!” He plays the status game. A very tall individual who has always played the pseudo-celeb game.

• Neil Strauss: Neil does not have physical good looks or height to his advantage. So what’s his edge? He is a w riter for Rolling Stone magazine, a Rock reporter for the NY Times, best selling a thr. (There is nothing wrong with being a reporter for a major magazine. If you have an edge, use it. Nothing wrong with that.) Lastly, he is highly skilled in manipulation tactics, uses his social status as leverage to make people feel below him.. (This will be explained later).

• Zan – Looks like a male model, charming, interesting person, has great stories of romance and fantasy. Zan is able to draw people into his reality and the way he see things. Fun and very pleasant to spend time with. If you’ve seen Zan speak, you can clearly see how he can draw people into his world and how he sees things in a very pleasant non-threatening way. Edge: Male-model looks, and charm as well as the ability to suck people into his fantasy world.

• Brent – Obvious edge: He looks like a professional male model. All he has to do is show up, chat with girls, be aloof. He is that good looking where he has to do almost nothing. He is not a relationship type of guy and he is not looking for a relationship type of woman. His edge and person match his perspective archetype. His obvious edge: Dude looks like a soap opera star and doesn’t give a shit about anything. Granted, this works well with a certain archetype of woman and that’s the kind Brent wants anyway.

• Johnny SoPorno: Interesting character and also different than the guys on the list as he self-admittedly likes women in the “Skin-Trade” or sex business, (Porn, Escorts, prostitutes, etc.) What’s his edge? Social dominances over his target demographic. He talks nonstop, no one can get a word in edgewise when he is around, and more importantly, he is involved with the porn industry. Being in the porn business, he can dangle a career upgrade to women in the selling-sex business, (Porn, prostitution, escorts, etc.) These are the type of women he desires and he can leverage his position in the industry to draw them in. (Remember, it’s important to know what archetype of woman you WANT!)……

What does this mean to you? How can YOU achieve consistent results? It’s to encourage you to do 2 things:

1. Handle the Foundational Skills….

2. Work on cultivating your niche edge….

[heartiste: i don't know much about these guys, but neil strauss claims he got rejected by women way too much for his liking, and this was while he was a journo for rolling stone. his love life turned around when he learned game. (and his fortunes did too).]


  • Anonymous
    on April 11, 2012 at 12:58 am
    Original Link

    Neil has actually argued, though, that he thinks you need both professional success and Game to get the real beauties.


    • YaReally
      on April 11, 2012 at 2:53 pm
      Original Link

      You need it to get access to them just because of how their world works. Like you could see Megan Fox at a club but you would never get NEAR her because she’d have bodyguards and shit keeping you away, and even if you caught her solo she’d have to do the “friendly but no way sex is happening” thing because you’re just a random dude.

      But if you were a successful producer or actor or something, you’d be in her social circle and could be introduced and then you’ve got the social proof and everything for her to relax and allow you into her “world” where there’s a chance to game her.

      Sometimes you can talk your way into those social circles. Like one of my fav places here is a super swank high-end club where everyone is rich as shit. I worked my way into their scene by befriending guys and they socially proof me so I have access to some high-end chicks even tho I have no money or anything lol when the girls ask what I do I just tell them they’re asking boring questions and to come up with something I haven’t heard before etc.

      But if I had a solid rich career I’d be in these social circles by default and have access to the girls. BUT, it would come down to game from there. I know plenty of rich good looking dudes surrounded by available hotties who can’t score a touchdown even when the chick is handing them the ball and it’s just an open field in front of them. It’s hilarious and painful to watch but I see it over and over and over.


  • YaReally
    on April 11, 2012 at 2:42 pm
    Original Link

    lol

    What’s Tyler Durden’s edge? Because he’s a skinny (used to be fatty) balding ginger. Yet girls will tell him he’s “amazing” or “gorgeous”

    go out in the field. WATCH ugly guys taking girls home. Like, seriously, get out of your bubble. This is just embarrassing…you are the definition of keyboard jockey or armchair quarterback.

    It’s not like this is some mystical shit that only happens behind secret closed doors. It’s literally any given night you can go out and watch guys with game getting girls. Befriend some ugly naturals and watch them in action. Befriend some poor naturals and watch them in action. Befriend some ugly poor naturals and watch them in action.

    Or do you know how to make friends? Have you been out banging new girls in the past week? Month? Since new years? In the last year? More?

    The only thing not having a pro lifestyle does is make it harder to get into social circles where the turbo hotties are but 1) you can talk your way in and 2) they’ll fuck you but not want to date/marry you because you’re not long term provider material.


    • LionSoul
      on April 11, 2012 at 6:04 pm
      Original Link

      Tyler Durden had multiple illegitamate children from ‘gaming’ chicks. He’s totally a winner alright, having to work to pay his owners–the pussy.


      • YaReally
        on April 11, 2012 at 7:10 pm
        Original Link

        That’s such a weird thing to say that I don’t even have a response for it lol



Southern Man
on April 10, 2012 at 10:24 pm
Original Link

I have major smart-geek cred: multiple graduate degrees in STEM, professor of same, measured IQ well above average. And, yes, I was a nerd and a beta but never lacked for a girlfriend or SO. I look back and wonder why. In retrospect, high intelligence was a plus, at least some of the time. The combination of intelligence, education, and perserverance has certainly provided me with a comfortable living.

So what does a fifty-something uber-geek STEM professor do now that he’s swallowed the red pill? (1) Deal with women (ALL women, including your relatives, your peers, your bosses, and most especially your students) with an attitude of amused mastery. (2) Get your flabby ass to the gym on a regular basis. (3) Remember that contrast is king. If you wear a jacket and tie during the week, make sure you’re in leathers and on your bike on the weekends (or whatever floats your particular contrast boat). And (4) be passionate about your mission, whatever that may be. Mine is ten acres of unimproved land that I’m slowly improving.

In doing these things I’m happier than I’ve ever been. The last two years is also the longest stretch since high school that I’ve not been in a LTR. I’m beginning to wonder if those two facts are related.

[heartiste: solid comment]


  • Lara
    on April 11, 2012 at 10:07 am
    Original Link

    You are probably giving off non-needy vibes to women, which we find attractive.


    • Southern Man
      on April 11, 2012 at 11:14 am
      Original Link

      As I’ve said here many times, the concepts I’ve learned from the Three Wise Men of Game have improved my live and my relationships (particularly with my daughters) in every measurable way and I’m as happy today, six years after my life was shattered by divorce, as I’ve ever been. Indeed, the ONLY source of stress in my life right now is financial and I’m well on my way to recovering from that. But, having gained at least some understanding of how females think and how they respond to particular words and actions, I’ve lost much interest in dating. I get IOIs (even from students!) but don’t care. I used to think that I needed to be in a relationship to be happy. Now I wonder if NOT being in one is one key to happiness. It’s a little perverse that my “non-needy vibes” are hooking them now.


      • YaReally
        on April 11, 2012 at 4:13 pm
        Original Link

        “We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.”



Bad News For Smart Nerds

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on April 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Original Link

A lot of girls are only as smart as they have to be.

A super hot chick doesn’t have to value intelligence cause the world is handed to her on a silver platter. Some of them strive for it anyway and that’s cool but a lot of the dumbass girls you meet are dumb because they CAN be. In fact their life might get harder if they became smarter because a lot of guys would be intimidated or resent them etc.

So don’t hold it against them lol


  • P Ray
    on April 11, 2012 at 3:25 pm
    Original Link

    Seems weird.
    Girls more afraid of guys’ judgement, than other girls’ judgement?
    I’m shocked, shocked I tell you :)


    • YaReally
      on April 11, 2012 at 7:25 pm
      Original Link

      Not so much scared of it. But just if you’re a chick trying to land a cock it makes it a lot harder to do when the cocks are all scared to approach you or angry with you for being smarter than them and making them feel inadequate lol



Flirty Quips To Female Small Talk

Original Link

via Heartiste

Anon
on April 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Original Link

Solid post.
Now waiting for Yareally’s link toward RSDnation guys who broke it down.

Seriously, this flirting stuff is the most important part of game, I want more.


  • YaReally
    on April 9, 2012 at 11:08 pm
    Original Link

    lol this is just DeAngelo’s cocky/funny concept. It’s good to refresh the basics though.

    This is why people who bust on routines are dumb to me. Everyone has their own little routines. Hang out with any natural long enough and you’ll hear him repeat his same stories and jokes and comebacks. It’s not a big deal.

    The trick is to be congruent with your routines and to understand the structure. Like why does it work and how can you rewrite it to fit your personality. A lot of routines that worked for me when I was a newbie don’t work for me now because they’re incongruent so cocky/funny comes off too arrogant. Same time sexual stories don’t have as much shock impact for me now because girls can just tell “ya this is a guy who would say things like that”.

    Your game will never solidify if you go out enough and push boundaries, and that’s a good thing. Once it solidifies and you’re running the same interaction over and over you get bored and it becomes work. If you’re in that situation now, get out of it by pushing yourself further. Go for the kiss sooner, go for the lay sooner, go for the hottest girl, go for the 3-some, etc.



Flirty Quips To Female Small Talk

Original Link

via Heartiste

whorefinder
on April 9, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Original Link

For the autistic tards out there, here are some BAD flirty lines:

Girl: Hi, how are—
You: I WILL RAPE YOU.

Girl: Who did you vote—-
You: Let me give you a 15-minute harrangue on tax policy. THEN I WILL RAPE YOU.

Girl: Could pass me the–
You: RAPE!

Girl: Excuse—
You: RAPE RAPE RAPE HERPES RAPE!

Got it? The rule is:

NEVER INTERRUPT HER OPENING LINE, BITCHES!


  • YaReally
    on April 9, 2012 at 11:12 pm
    Original Link

    I’ve used one of those.


    • Maya
      on April 10, 2012 at 11:26 am
      Original Link

      Sure you did.


      • YaReally
        on April 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm
        Original Link

        lol the guys at RSD have a Rape Van and routinely tell girls to kill themselves. I’ve opened by telling girls im going to give them aids from fucking them in the ass.

        You can get away with a lot when you know what you’re doing. This stuff isn’t for noobs



Flirty Quips To Female Small Talk

Original Link

via Heartiste

Days of Broken Arrows
on April 9, 2012 at 5:11 pm
Original Link

I have a hard time these days flirting with American women, because the goal is that you end up with an American woman.

I do have a great line for foreign women, which Eastern European women seem to especially be amused by:

Her: Can you tell me is zees ze line?
Me: Sure, if you stop faking that accent.

[heartiste: that's pretty good.]


  • YaReally
    on April 9, 2012 at 11:16 pm
    Original Link

    In Europe say:

    “ya well, I’ve found that European girls are prettier than American girls. But American girls are better in bed.”

    I use that when I travel anywhere. The type of girls you’re talking to are the prettier ones and the type of girls they hate are the better in bed ones, it has a horrible effect if you fuck up and say it the other way around. The reasons should be obvious to anyone reading this blog.

    The hamster wheel shoots sparks with this bit lol it’s hilarious and really easy to lead the conversation into.


    • Maya
      on April 10, 2012 at 11:13 am
      Original Link

      Actually, girls don’t really hate girls who are said to be “good in bed”. We feel sorry for them.

      “ya well, I’ve found that European girls are prettier than American girls. But American girls are better in bed.”

      Talking about girl’s beauty the first time you meet her = omega.
      Talking about which girls are good in bed = disrespectful and misogynistic. Keep this for yourself.

      In conclusion, your line can’t work on anyone.


      • Anonymous
        on April 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm
        Original Link

        I’ll save you the reply, YR.

        Maya, go out and try to pick up chicks.


        • YaReally
          on April 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm
          Original Link

          lol I’m still pretty sure maya is just a dude trolling. At least the women posting here help demonstrate the “don’t listen to women about how to pick up women” rule.

          Love the shit out of women but every game community gets inefficient and starts going downhill as more and more women think they’re special unique self-aware snowflakes who have something to offer about this topic as they muddle the conversations and force people to stress “please don’t listen to her advice” and give noobs hope to cling onto “see??? A girl SAID she likes nice guys so screw this game stuff!!!”



Lara
on April 9, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Original Link

I once had a man tell me I needed to move my car by saying, “You’re cute, but you’re still in the way.”


  • YaReally
    on April 9, 2012 at 11:21 pm
    Original Link

    On really hot girls who do stupid shit (butt in line, be loud and obnoxious, be rude to a friend, etc) I’ve said “just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you get to be a bitch.”

    Only builds attraction on really hot girls. Pisses off average and below girls. …a lot lol



DarkByke
on April 9, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Original Link

Flipping the logical switch off is quite hard to do.


  • (r)Evoluzione
    on April 9, 2012 at 6:03 pm
    Original Link

    I thought so too. I was the spergy kid in the class who nearly aced the SAT, but couldn’t get sarcasm. I was always the straight man, always taking things literally.

    But a little practice, and I got good at not only identifying the quick-witted sarcasm, but dishing it out. Sometimes the more subtle the better.

    A relative who hadn’t seen me in years quipped, “Wow, when did you become charming?” upon seeing me in action. As a natural introvert, it wasn’t particularly quick, but it’s been one of the more rewarding pursuits of my life.


    • YaReally
      on April 9, 2012 at 11:23 pm
      Original Link

      Props dude. A lot of people think it’s something that can’t be learned. It takes work but if it’s important to you it can be done. Glad you proved those people wrong.


    • Mexican Pete
      on April 10, 2012 at 7:58 am
      Original Link

      “As a natural introvert, it wasn’t particularly quick, but it’s been one of the more rewarding pursuits of my life.”

      That’s a very important point that most folks who take up Game fail to realise: Patience is required, and tons of practice.

      In effect, you’re rebuilding 20-, 30-, 40+ years of accumulated personality.

      Roosh and Mystery, to their credit, stress this in their books. . However, the folks who get suckered into boot-camps aren’t told this


      • YaReally
        on April 10, 2012 at 7:48 pm
        Original Link

        ya that’s the biggest problem with the industry. Even when instructors stress that it’ll take a while people hit up a bootcamp thinking 3 days of new thinking will unwire 20+ years of old thinking.

        Early on when PUA stuff was still pretty knew we all kind of understood that this was a years-long progress. Some guys wouldn’t even get laid for the first year or two, but they’d have a bunch of little victories (handling a social situation that would’ve stumped them before, keeping a hot girl’s attention for a couple hours, getting phone numbers, making new friends, etc.) and would be happy as fuck with that and just trusted that over time they would internalize this stuff and their lives would improve.

        I started out as a super shy introvert myself. It took a ton of work to get to where I am now so I have a lot of respect for anyone who sticks to it like this guy. Most people’s excuses for why game doesn’t work “for them” or why they can’t do what we’ve done is just complete bullshit victim mentality.

        “You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.” and all that.

        [heartiste: i agree, a lot of guys have unreasonable expectations about game. if you aren't a natural extrovert it's gonna be much harder to acquire game skills and apply them successfully. it's like a guy who has no musical talent thinking he can pick up a guitar and just start shredding in a week. won't happen. but if he practices every day for a year, he'll be able to play decently enough to impress chicks.]



Flirty Quips To Female Small Talk

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on April 10, 2012 at 5:17 am
Original Link

Totally unrelated to this post:

Chip-eating man is my vote for alpha of the month! lol

That’s frame control in action. If your frame (“nah, no more physical fighting today guys”) is stronger than the frame of the people around you (“we’re crazy and ninja kicking each other hiya!!!!”), other people fall into your frame. He doesn’t even stare them down or tell them to knock it off he’s just like “nahhhh…chomp chomp chomp”. He would’ve gotten a different reaction if he jumped in like a superhero fists raised ready to beat someone up staring them down and swearing at them. But it’s like it’s so completely not in his reality that the kicking contest could continue or escalate that he doesn’t even bother stopping eating his chips.

A lot of people would escalate this situation into something serious if they got involved (even by accident). This is part of why the guys who are like “my MMA buddy would kill you with his BJJ move in 2 seconds flat if you dared say THAT to him or his girl!!!!!!11111″ should get out and put themselves in these situations more if they want to have an opinion on what would/wouldn’t work in a tricky situation.

I’ve actually used eating and body position to avoid/de-escalate volatile situations myself lol (eating a hot dog or pizza after the bar at last call when it’s time for all the Affliction douches who didn’t get laid to start fights)


  • Rex
    on April 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm
    Original Link

    Looked scared to me. Like he was avoiding eye contact. Kept his head down and was looking at the floor, not up.


    • YaReally
      on April 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm
      Original Link

      When you make eye contact with someone you start interaction with them. An interaction would lead to escalation. Their hostility would transfer onto him and while he could probably kick their asses he’a not trying to get into the shit he’s just calming it down.

      He’s essentially “invisible” as a person to the two people fighting, it’s like a wall or pillar just came between them, cutting their space enough to snap them out of retard mode.

      The Dog Whisperer does this with aggressive dogs a lot, he’ll enter their territory and turn his back to them and not make eye contact and just “claim the space” with his body language, cutting the dog off with his body. All very calm and assertive (“nah, that’s not happening”) but dominant. If he approached staring the dog down the dog would interpret it as a threat and he’d trigger an attack.

      The guy IS watching in his peripheral for things to escalate, when he looks down at his chips you can tell he’s keeping an eye on things just incase.



Cognitivism vs. Behaviorism

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 6th, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Original Link

An engaged chick I’m tapping tells me her fiance “is probably cheating on me anyway, he always stays late at the office and stuff.”

Guaranteed the guy isn’t cheating. But it keeps her from having to admit to herself that she’s being a horrible person. She wears her engagement ring while we fuck and makes sure it’s noticable in the pics/vids she sends me.

The rationalization hamster is pretty amazing. If you met her you’d think she was the sweetest nicest girl in the world, and if you confronted her about her behavior she would come up with a dozen different rationalizations (some that don’t even make logical sense) to avoid admitting she’s doing something shitty or contradicting her values.

A lot of guys who don’t get girls will hear me explain something like this and be like “oh well you just have a crazy chick, that one’s just low quality, not like Janice at work, she’d never do something like that” but it’s like no, they all do stuff like that all the time. Whether it’s as extreme as this chick or more common like “that guy I fucked on vacation doesn’t count because I’ll never see him again” or as simple as “I’m an independant woman! …but guys should have to make the first move and take me out to dinner!”

When you first start seeing it, you get mad about it. But over time you just come to accept that that’s the way a woman’s hamster works. She can’t even really control it. And eventually you hit a point where you just accept it and can love women even with all their flaws and hamsters.

…you just make damn sure you get a pre-nup lol


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Original Link

ya basically.

My rationalization is that if it wasn’t me it’d be some other guy. She’s hot and oozes sex appeal, guys are after her anywhere she goes.

Except those guys will try to “win” her away from her fiancé and fall in love with her and fuck her relationship up. I will not. We’re just sex and we both know it and that’s all she’s looking for. She knows I won’t come knocking on her door or txt her all weekend long or fall in love and demand she leave her man etc and she knows that I will vanish if she starts to fall in love with me and I’ve flat out told her a few times that if she ever left her man for me she’d never hear from me again and would be alone and lonely. On top of it because of my lifestyle I make sure to use condoms and get tested regularly so she’s much less likely to bring home a pregnancy or STD with me than a random guy who’s less responsible.

She rationalizes not leaving him as that she can find sex anywhere, sure, but she’ll never find another man who loves her as much as he does so she fully wants to marry and start a family with him.

Reality is, they both just got stuck in a situation where they developed a loving relationship and legit care about eachother, but her sex drive and his sex drive don’t match up. He doesn’t put out very often and when he does he doesn’t bother trying to get her off and he’s not kinky at all. It’s 10 min of him getting a BJ and quickly fucking her then going back downstairs to play videogames. He has no idea what kind of horny adventurous sex-pot he has on his hands.

Personally I think they should discuss their sex life and communicate the fuck out of what both sides want and if they can make it work, awesome. If they’re legit incompatible then they should either break it off or discuss having an open marriage where she doesn’t have to sneak around and he can trust that if she has a guy in the side she’ll play safe with him and not get preggers or bring back STDs. But to pull that off he’d have to find a way to not be super jealous and she’d have to be up-front enough to admit that their sex life doesn’t satisfy her.

End of the day it’s a sad situation to me all around. But I’m not a marriage counsellor and it’s not my place to fix their problems. People only try to fix problems when they’re both ready, you can’t force it on them. So in the meantime, while she’s living this particular “sleep around behind his back” lifestyle, I’m a pretty good safe choice for their relationship compared to most guys she could be doing it with.

There’s no “booya I’m totally owning this loser beta by banging his fiancé haw haw I’m so cool” shit in it on my end, which is what most people think is the rationale behind it. She has a need that isn’t being filled but the other 99% of her needs are being filled, we have chemistry, so I’m just filling that one need. I legit hope their marriage works out and that she settles down from this phase of her life as she gets older and they have a nice life together.

Personally I don’t think people should promise other people monogamy if they aren’t capable of it, so I think she’s in the wrong. But I also know that most people aren’t self-aware enough to realize they can’t promise monogamy and society pressures them into monogamous situations enough that it’s no surprise stuff like this is common.

I could bitch her out and call her a whore and tell her to be committed to her man but what would that do? Would it change her behavior? Would her sex life suddenly become satisfying? Would she break it off with him after having a moral breakthrough? No. She’ll just start lying to guys saying that she isn’t engaged because she’ll have learned being honest equals too much drama.

I could tell him that she’s cheating on him but what would that do? He’s a beta with no other options who’s planned his whole future with her out. He’ll be mad, then forgive her, then they’ll stay together except he’ll be paranoid 24/7 whenever she isn’t at home and the lack of trust will eventually fuck their relationship up anyway.

You can judge the situation however you like, but understand that it’s rarely as cut and dry as “she’s a ho and you’re an asshole”


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Original Link

Why is it destroying his life?

She’s not planning to leave him for me. There’s no emotional relationship going on. When she’s horny and he’s not available she comes over, we bang, she goes home and showers up and they resume their otherwise fine relationship.

It would be different if I was trying to lure her away from him or fuck up their marriage or if she was looking to land me in a relationship and get me to marry her. If that were the scenario then I’d agree with you.

I don’t think she’s making great choices, but she can’t really help her sexual urges (signing a paper doesn’t turn them off) and smokers or people who drink aren’t making great choices either. It’s not my place to play judge and jury on everyone else.

I follow a moral code (like if she gets attached to me and asks me shit about if she could be my girlfriend, I’ll break it off). It’s just a different moral code than yours.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Original Link

lol shit you’re right. I’m actually a virgin in my parent’s basement and this is the only pussy I can get. Your view of the world is completely accurate!


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Original Link

“But there’s one thing that’s for sure- if she has any kind of sexual market value there is someone out there who doesn’t like the idea of you fucking her. ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE NEVER TRULY SINGLE. They have orbiters and fuck buddies who would rather starngle you than look at you if they know you are banging “their” girl.”

Well said. Most guys don’t discover this because they hook up with average to ugly girls. But even THOSE girls have a handful of orbiters who secretly hate you for bangin their girl. When you’re looking at the smokin hot girls with high self esteem who have their lives together etc, it’s even worse.

The girls aren’t even horrible assholes for leading these guys on or dating a guy they’re only “kind of” into while they look for better or more on the side. Society pressures girls into feeling like freaks if they’re not in a relationship. So you take a girl who’s clearly a catch and find out she’s single and the first question she gets asked is “i don’t get it what’s WRONG with you??”. For most of them it become easier to just have SOMEONE reliable and safe as their boyfriend and then hope to find a guy on the side they can monkeybranch to. A lot of them don’t even realize what they’re doing, they legit think they like their guy and when they hook up with another dude “it just happened”

I’d love to live in a world where things weren’t so complicated and everyone was upstanding and self-aware but that’s not the way the world works, except in the minds of guys who don’t go out and hook up with a large variety of women.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Original Link

Marriage is a very serious deal that people don’t take seriously.

Generally the problems are on both sides of the relationship though. A satisfied woman is pretty much impossible to seduce.


Cognitivism vs. Behaviorism

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Original Link

ya I was going to say that too. The sad reality is the guy probably wouldn’t kick my ass. He’d be more angry at her for betraying his trust. If I was a good friend of his or if I rubbed it in his face it’d be different but I’m just a “random”.

The guys who think “he’s gonna kill you with a shotgun!!!!! That’s what I’d do!!!!!” are the same guys who think “you can’t open a mixed set, what if the guy is her boyfriend? He’ll KILL you right there!!! That’s what I’d do!!!!”

Besides, that’s why I don’t tell her any details about me. She knows my first name, a number she can txt me at, and how to get to my place and that’s it. Still enough that he could come knocking on my door but that’s why I do as much research on him as possible (via the Internet and thru casual questioning of her). I have a pic of him, know where he works, what he drives, where he hangs out, how big he is, etc.

Realistically, I have the verbal skills and general psychological understanding to sympathize with the guy and smooth it over and wish them the best and possibly even help get them communicating. A lot of guys will scoff at that, but a lot of guys haven’t done the things I’ve done, it’s not impossible to befriend a guy after you take his girl, at least to the extent of avoiding getting your ass kicked.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Original Link

“After coming to terms with all of this, or attempting to accept reality for how it is, I have to ask, how is anyone able to remain happy?”

Step 1) Quit expecting other people to live up to your expectations and standards. They’ll just disappoint you. This will make you miserable and disillusioned for a while. You’re currently miserable and disillusioned but right now it’s because you’re still trying to force the square peg in the round hole. You have to let go, and give up. “it’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

Step 2) After you’ve been thru that stage you have to start finding ways to like people again. You have to start appreciating the moments you have with girls, even knowing they’re fleeting. She’ll always be gone eventually, even if you spend your lives together death will take her. So appreciate the time you have together, whether it’s a 5 minute flirt, a one night stand, or an LTR.

Step 3) Once you get used to appreciating how finite relationships really are when you take off the Disney rose colored glasses, you have to learn to accept people despite their faults. People all have flaws. In a way, knowing their flaws means you know them better than their admirers who think they’re infallible. Find the good in them and love them for who they are, not for who you wish they were.

It’s a long, long road and it’ll fuck with your head. But it’s a common one for guys studying pickup and seduction. Some guys don’t come out the other side, they get stuck where you are and become miserable human beings. But the guys who make it thru live a pretty happy life. They see people as they truly are and can accept and love them that way. Those are the guys who can date an ugly girl with a good personality and legit not care what anyone thinks, or who can date a hot girl with a defensive bitch shield and see the good in her where other people just label her as a shitty human being. They’re the guys who can be friends with beta guys and understand them instead of resent and hate them.

It all sounds feel-good lovey dovey but it’s there at the end of the tunnel. You have to work at it though. Good luck!


Cognitivism vs. Behaviorism

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Original Link

Yep. The types who are like “karma will get you!!!” and “hope this happens to you one day asshole then you’ll know how it feels!!!” don’t understand that I fully accept that a girl I’m with may stray on me. Especially if I’m not satisfying her.

I have a main LTR girl right now and for now she’s alright with me playing around and us keeping things as boyfriend/girlfriend and nothing more serious. But over time she’ll probably want to push things further and move in together, get married, have kids etc. I’m not prepared to offer her those things.

So when that day comes, if she meets a guy who’s looking for something more serious, she will probably leave me for him. I understand that. She want X and I’m not providing X so she’ll seek it elsewhere. That’s fine. I’d be sad and everything because it’s a bummer to lose someone you love. But if it was a massive concern to me and I couldnt bear losing her then I would find a way to provide X for her.

It’s not possible for me to be the fiancé of this scenario because I don’t view women as my property. They’re free to do what they want. All I can do is be the best guy I can be and hope that’s enough. If its not, that’s alright, there are other girls who it may be enough for.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Original Link

lol silly nonsense.

Morals are simply labeling grey areas as black and white based on your beliefs, upbringing, religion, social conditioning, etc.

You should get out more. Meet a bigger variety of people and cultures.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Original Link

“but I view it as a friendly competition like a pick-up basketball game ”

If the guy in my scenario found out about us and confronted me I would break it off. No biggie. At this point I’m not actively hurting him since he doesn’t know anything’s going on. If he found out about us and I knew it was hurting him, I’d back off because then its being a dickhead.

It’s actually completely possible that she’ll fool around on the side for a few years while they go through getting married and she’ll get a lot of it out of her system and settle down as they decide to start having kids. In that scenario no one is really hurt. It’s like the guy who cheats on his wife some drunken night but realizes his wife is better than random sex and now that it’s out of his system he can appreciate the wife he has.

Lots of shades of grey in life.


Cognitivism vs. Behaviorism

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 11:31 pm
Original Link

Rollo: go nuts. But be prepared for an angry comment section lol


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Original Link

Yep. Dead on. A hot girl isn’t any more celibate than a guy would be if he had a dozen women who want to bang him on any given night.

The main diff is that if a girl is officially “single” the guy she’s fucking is usually an ex or a really long term fuckbuddy (instead of a random new stranger every night) and usually she categorizes it as “it doesn’t count” along with the guy she fucked on vacation that she’ll
never see again, guys of another race that she hooked up with but would
never seriously consider dating, guys she regrets fucking, etc.

If you’re Secret Society they won’t hide this stuff from you and they’ll even ask you for advice about it. If you’re not SS you will never know how common this is and you will hate posts like this and clutch onto your illusions with a death grip.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Original Link

Good addition.

My girlfriend doesn’t cheat because I satisfy her. But she may leave me for a guy who gives her more commitment because I don’t satisfy that.

This engaged chick cheats because her guy doesn’t satisfy her sexually. But she’s not out looking for a new emotional love, in fact a guy that got clingy on her SHE would ditch because her man satisfies that part of what she needs. She doesn’t want a new man to raise a family with, she has a great one that she loves. So all she’s looking for is sex. Sex is all I offer, so our situation works out well.

If I gave my GF commitment, she would have no reason to seek it out elsewhere. If my engaged chick’s fiancé gave her the sex she wants, she would have no reason to see me.

I hope for their sake they work it out. She’s slowly trying to get him to open up a little more sexually but it’s tough going so far. I encourage her to keep trying tho and give her advice on how to approach him about it. If she got him to do for her what I do for her that would be awesome to me. Her and I would let things naturally end between us and they could go off and have a wonderful relationship and I would move on to another girl. Everybody wins.

This is what the “leave them better than you found them” rule means in a scenario like this. Unfortunately it’s not an impossible outcome but a pretty rare one. My point is that I legit wish the best for them both down the road but they have things to work on before they’ll get there.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 11:55 pm
Original Link

Intuition is basically your brain making a zillion little calculations in an instant and spitting you out a summarized “feeling”. So your gut tells you “don’t do it” but deep in your subconscious your brain has analyzed a fuckton of stuff at once.

But it’s something that you develop with experience. A new driver will crash his car because he’ll panic trying to consciously make a decision. A guy who’s a pro driver will instinctively escape the situation while still singing to the radio because he’s on autopilot calculating everything that he’s been they hundreds of times before.

Guys learning pickup are trying to go from newbie driver to pro but it’s a long process. It’s why someone can study pickup for years but still be awkward socially because they only go out once a week. Whereas someone who’s always in social interactions (like women for instance) develop an amazing social intuition and can “feel” when the vibe changes in an interaction.

This is why I stress going out. You can’t become a pro driver just reading textbooks.


YaReally
on April 9th, 2012 at 11:59 pm
Original Link

You are a stellar human being and you are way better than anyone else. I hope one day we all adjust our moral compasses to follow your shining example.


Should You Call Out A Girl’s Bad Behavior?

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via Heartiste

bell
on April 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Original Link

So related question to the topic at hand … if her tardiness responding to a text is flakiness and misbehavior, what is the correct corresponding alpha etiquette?

I personally usually feel very beta if I respond too quickly to a text, and the more banal her text, the more beta is me for responding quickly.

Sometimes you have rapid fire text conversation complete with teasing and fun, that’s different. But what about run of the mill texts?


  • YaReally
    on April 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm
    Original Link

    Remind yourself each time: you do NOT have to respond to every txt.

    We usually instinctually want to close each conversation up, wrapped up with a nice bow because as men we want to say “that task has been completed, the conversation is over until a new one begins”. But girls don’t care about that. That’s why they’ll do stuff like:

    “hey babe what are you up to tonite?”
    (you, immediately) “not much, want to hang out?”
    (her, 4 hours later) “lol can’t going out with my girls!”

    In that situ you look lame, VS

    “hey babe what are you up to tonite?”
    (the next day) “hey I was at Blah with friends. It was crazy lol you should’ve come” (note that she couldn’t possibly have come because I didn’t tell her where I was, and yet I’m blaming her like it’s her fault for not being there lol I love doing this)

    Or

    “hey babe what are you up to tonite?”
    (later that night) “hey I’m at Blah with friends. You should come”
    (her) “awe I would but I’m with my girls”
    (you, 2 hours later) “cool”

    To get used to this I had to do start turning my phone off, leaving it across the room where it’s more effort to check it, force myself not to respond till after I took a shit or ate or showered, etc. now it’s natural, if a txt isn’t something 1) important/serious, 2) relevant to her and I hooking up, or 3) if it looks like she’s just seeking attention (“omg work was crazy today”) I just don’t bother txting back.



CAFC
on April 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Original Link

Question – a girl I am gaming (kissed only) sent me an bbm message asking me if I am on holidays again. I did not respond and now she deletes me from her contact list, I will add I did notice alot of status updates about trust etc.

I was going to scold but this post tells me to do otherwise.


  • YaReally
    on April 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm
    Original Link

    Don’t scold. Laugh.

    If she was your 10 year old silly neice what would you do?

    “lol did you delete me? You’re so gay”



PermanentGuest
on April 5, 2012 at 8:38 pm
Original Link

“Ok, great, but will that get you any closer to getting laid, which, remember, is your primary goal?”

This is already a losing mindset.

I agree with all of the techniques listed here, but why not take a healthy mindset and allow these methods flow effortlessly and naturally?

If you strive to be carefree, purpose-driven and ultimately satisfied with yourself, you’ll likely live a life in which a last-minute flake is a relief, or where you actually don’t have time to answer petty messages. Do you think celebrities and athletes are sitting around thinking of techniques to deal with flakes? No, because they’re living a life of enjoyment already, without seeking solely to “get laid.”

“Conclusion: disciplining prospects = failed game.”

The methods of calling out listed were more focused on your personal hurt/disappointment than her crappy behavior. The demote method by YaReally is a more constructive way of calling out behavior: throwing the behaviour back in their face without showing personal anger, as if he forgot the plans were made until she texted the cancellation.

Then again, that’s just the way of a natural, purpose-driven man.


  • YaReally
    on April 6, 2012 at 1:02 pm
    Original Link

    The problem is being a cool normal alpha dude is a foreign concept to a lot of socially awkward guys. That’s why the whole “just let it flow naturally” thing fucks with them…there’s no guarantee that that’s going to do anything for improving their social/love life. They have no foundation to let shit flow from.

    Encourage them to consciously embrace their intent and learn the ropes, then down the road they can chill and let it flow.

    1) Unconscious incompetence
    2) Conscious incompetence
    3) Conscious competence
    4) Unconscious competence

    A lot of guys discovering this blog are starting in stage 1.



YaReally
on April 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm
Original Link

Tyler Durden laid it all out for everyone back in 2003:

http://www.seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/end/pr/428.html

“Now when it comes to the idea that “if a girl disrespects me I’ll NEXT her”, that isn’t my frame at all. To me, you can’t NEXT a girl who you haven’t slept with. In my view, that’s just her NEXT’ing you. It’s only a girl that I’m already with that I’ll do this to if she annoys me or crosses my boundaries.”

Read those 4 pages, it’s all broken down for you guys.



Another Undersexed Omega Male Shooting Spree

Original Link

via Heartiste

Jeff
on April 4, 2012 at 8:28 pm
Original Link

Guys, I’m kind of new to game and I’m tryin to develop some alpha tendencies. There’s one thing I’m always confused about, which is when should you CALL out a woman on her bullshit and when should you ignore it to act like you don’t care?

For example, you ask a girl out through text, she says yes, but her response is a day later. Should you call her out on it? or should you proceed as if it doesn’t matter? thanks

[heartiste: define "call her out". it means different things. for example, a good response to a chick who texts you a day later is "what was this about?" that forces her to explain herself and reframes in your favor (you are the one being chased). so that's a form of calling out. don't get angry or spiteful. treat her like you would an insolent child. playfully, but with an edge.]


  • Jeff
    on April 5, 2012 at 12:46 am
    Original Link

    by calling out, I mean when a girl starts playing games, for example, flopping on you last minute or answering your messages late on purpose

    thanks again for the advice, heartiste


    • YaReally
      on April 5, 2012 at 4:05 pm
      Original Link

      If you had a dozen playboy bunnies txting you to hangout how would you handle it? Would you even NOTICE how long she took to respond?

      It bugs you because you sat there checking your phone for a day+ hoping each time it went off it was her. :)

      Don’t acknowledge it at all. Now if it’s something that inconvenienced you like she flaked on a date without txting and you got stuck sitting at a coffee shop wondering where the fuck she was, call her out on that.

      But even if it was like you txted a “let’s hang out Friday” on Monday and she didn’t respond yes till Friday, I wouldn’t call her out I’d just act as if I have 10 playboy models on the go and simply reply “sorry too slow lol made other plans. Next time” and then not respond for a few days.

      That teaches the lesson of “don’t dick around” without coming off insecure and angry.



Hear Me Now, Believe Me Later

Original Link

via Rational Male

YaReally
on April 4th, 2012 at 10:34 am
Original Link

Even once the pill is taken there are levels to it where this comes up. The guy who spins a few plates in a drunken haze at social circle parties for a few years then settles down with a wife and practices his marriage game doesn’t have the same experience a sober guy who regularly picks up new girls anywhere from bars to coffee shops has.

There’s almost too much information on Game available now. People don’t have to experience it first hand to form opinions, they just adopt a belief system from whatever company or guru they stumble across and then debate what should and shouldn’t work based on a combination of that and really limited biased experience.

When PUAs were first tackling this stuff (pre-The Game) we had nothing to go by except cold hard experience. The things we found about the unimportance of looks and money, about the hypergamy of women, about what alpha traits girls respond to, about how fast you can escalate things, about what controversial things you can say/do and still get the girl…this was all forged out of going out and pushing the limits. Tyler Durden still goes out 5-7 nights a week and encourages newbies to go out a minimum of 4 nights a week, because beliefs are retarded…experience is what matters.

The guy who believes money matters is the same as the guy who believes game doesn’t work. They’re just at different levels of inexperience. This isn’t necessarily their fault, lives get busy, pickup isn’t everyone’s priority, etc. it’s not a judgement of their worth, it’s just saying “if you haven’t done X, you can’t understand Y.”

This is why I say any guy who goes out a shit-ton will understand my rants. The guys who argue are simply inexperienced. That doesn’t mean they’re not decent people, it’s just a fact. I don’t know how to play the guitar, but I wouldn’t argue with a guy who plays shows nightly what the best way to hold one is.

Unless I was too full of myself to admit that I don’t play the guitar regularly enough to have an opinion on it…ego-protection and all that.


His Adultery Spices Up Marriage

Original Link

via Heartiste

YaReally
on April 3, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Original Link

No respect for cheaters. If monogamy doesn’t work for you don’t promise it.

That said, I feel bad for men who didn’t discover game till after they were locked into a marriage with kids. You guys are in the tightest possible spot because there are so many consequences lined up to drop on you that “secret” trysts are pretty much the only option.

If you aren’t married and you’re cheating, you are a pussy who’s too weak to admit what you want and have a scarcity mentality.

“BIG POST: The Ultimate Post on Why Long-Term Monogamy Doesn’t Work”:

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=9&mn=1240554210553038&refine=



Word Is Getting Out

Original Link

via Heartiste

bob
on April 2, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Original Link

Well, I’m screwed. A lifetime of programming – or perhaps it is just common decency – has left me with an actual dislike for porn where the woman is forcibly degraded. Example: it seems that many of the oral flicks today concentrate on men forcing their junk down woman’s throats, causing them to gag repeatedly. Me no like.

Call me an “illuminated beta”. I’m dropping out.

[heartiste: i don't like the gagging either. saliva and phlegm are gross. i do appreciate a pinpoint accurate facial, though.]


  • YaReally
    on April 2, 2012 at 8:38 pm
    Original Link

    You probably won’t believe it but there are normal healthy intelligent functional seemingly-innocent women who LOVE being forced to gag on a cock. Like actually requesting the rough “ram her head on and off it till she gags and tears up” or “hold her head with two hands and skullfuck her till the back of her throat is sore and raw” type deep-thrusting that offends you and leaves her with gagged up spit dripping down their chin (unless you smear it across their face of course). Like they’re turned on by being used for the guy’s pleasure and it actually gets them wet. They won’t do these things or even admit they like them, to anyone but an alpha who doesn’t judge them. But they’ll go out and secretly buy 50 Shades of Grey and such.

    So if some women enjoy the activity, does that conflict with your views of that sort of porn being indecent abuse that men are doing TO women vs that men and women are doing together, mutually, for the pleasure of both parties involved?

    I already know your answer, I’m just presenting a view from inside the secret society to make you and people who agree with your comment think.

    Exploring the deep aspects of seduction forces you to confront a lot of views you have in a very uncomfortable way. The hardest part of pickup isn’t what you say or do, it’s how you deal with the results you get and the sometimes illusion-shattering knowledge you gain.



YaReally
on April 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Original Link

I was choking and slapping a chick I know in the bar on Friday (in my defense she was slapping me back lol). We were both in the moment and on our way to fucking, but after a slap I glanced around and realized that a bunch of guys and a couple bouncers were looking at us haha

I was literally like “oh ya, shit, we’re in public whoops” and toned it down and made sure to be lovey for a few min so it was clear she liked me, cause I know most of them 1) couldn’t comprehend that this wasn’t abuse and 2) that most of them would jump in in a heartbeat to beat my ass and “rescue” her without asking questions first and 3) they would consciously or subconsciously be thinking that rescuing her like that would make her want to fuck them but have no idea that it wouldn’t.

It’s gonna be a looooooong time before the circle of White Knights doesn’t appear from the shadows ready to defend a princesses honor. Even if they all read this book, like the guy on the phone, they won’t believe it until a woman admits to them flat out that yes, women love that. And even THEN he’ll just rationalize to himself that she’s mentally damaged.

The human brain is fascinating.


  • Firepower
    on April 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm
    Original Link

    YaReally

    I was choking and slapping a chick I know in the bar on Friday (in my defense she was slapping me back lol). We were both in the moment and on our way to fucking, but after a slap I glanced around and realized that a bunch of guys and a couple bouncers were looking at us haha

    haha – you’re a moron.

    You make it sound like “Society” is “like, down on you, man” for your inappropriate Public Behavior.

    Next time, perform in public, something else considered private. Like shitting on her chest by the coatcheck – maybe then, the bouncers won’t notice so much.


    • YaReally
      on April 3, 2012 at 3:42 pm
      Original Link

      Shit, you’re right. I’d better stick to holding hands in public at most and keep all sexual activity to the bedroom where we can politely have missionary sex only.


      • attractionreaction
        on April 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm
        Original Link

        WTF is your problem?

        Yeah, all men should just do nothing when seeing a man slap a woman in public, because she MIGHT really want it.

        Why does keeping the domination sex private mean .. not slapping her when you have sex in private, but only missionary? You are being ridiculous.


        • YaReally
          on April 6, 2012 at 2:41 pm
          Original Link

          “You are being ridiculous.”

          Yes, I am. Ridiculous reply gets a ridiculous reply.