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on December 27, 2012 at 5:45 am
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Cheating is for men with weak frames, a scarcity mentality, and no control over their own life.

Open Multiple Long-Term Relationships are the way to go. No lies, no deceit, no guilt, no shame, and all the benefits of normal LTRs. If you want kids, keep the girls on the side discreet and at a distance. If you don’t want your girl fucking other guys, be higher value than them to her (regardless of objectively whether most people would consider you higher value) and trust her hypergamy to keep her from wanting to bang anyone but you, and give her enough of an emotional rollercoaster to keep her invested.m

There’s plenty of PUA knowledge out there for anyone wanting to explore this stuff.

Zero respect for cheaters. Don’t give your word to do something you have no intention of doing or are incapable of doing.

Only situation I’d be alright with a guy cheating is a guy who’s already married with kids who’s just found the Manosphere after his wife has stopped putting out and forced him to be involuntarily celibate and the legal complications would be too severe if he were to tell his wife he wanted to fuck other girls. THAT guy can cheat because his options are get financially raped in court, go without sex for the rest of his life, or cheat.

Anyone else cheating is a pussy.

on December 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm
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“Exactly. I love the male hamster. “Cheating is unacceptable, except under these specific circumstances, which applies to 99% of married men who cheat.””

No shit, that’s my point. 99% of men aren’t living the kind of lives they should be living because they’re not self-aware enough to know what they want and are too scared of being alone to achieve it.

Game and the Manosphere are the answer to that. This generation of old guys who are in that trap, hey, go ahead and cheat, you’re a lost cause, but do it intelligently. But the next generation of men that 99% sure as shit better be lower. It sounds like you guys are advocating non-married men purposely enter relationships where they have to cheat. I’m saying they should be learning the mindset and skillset to avoid both the marriage trap the last gen fell into and the scurry-around-like-a-pussy cheating scenario being recommended.

on December 27, 2012 at 3:19 pm
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CassMan’s got it. I concur 100% with his shit. Having to cheat means you put yourself in a situation where you’re not living congruently to your desires. It’s beta and weak.

That doesn’t help the old guys who fell into the marriage trap, but it applies to any non-married (not even single, just not legally bound) guys reading this blog. If you are cheating on your girlfriend or fiancé, you are weak as a man.

on December 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm
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Like I say, I give a free pass to the last generation because they didn’t have PUA Game or a Manosphere to learn from.

But any guy in today’s generation, who willingly enters a legal contract of monogamy and then cheats is someone who entered a contract out of ignorance, apathy, or against his better judgement because he caved to the social pressure to do it, or because he’s terrified he won’t be able to find another girl (scarcity).

If you aren’t ready to settle down, don’t enter a monogamous relationship. It’s that simple. If you’ve been around and you’re done with it all and you know you will be able to uphold your end of the marriage contract with this woman even if she gets fat and old and stops putting out and you will still be able to be loyal only to her, go ahead, get married. I wish you the best

But if you can’t keep your dick in your pants when your wife is old and fat and stops having sex with you, don’t enter a fucking contract that says you will. Know yourself and respect yourself enough to keep the relationship open and find a woman who will accept you that way. If you enter a contract (even just agreeing verbally to monogamy) and cheat on it, then you are beta.

It’s a very simple formula. Knowing your wants and needs and goals and standing by them is alpha. Letting others dictate those things for you or not knowing them or giving up in them out of fear of scarcity etc is beta.

And again the last gen gets a free pass, they were duped. There is NO excuse for a man to get married tomorrow and be cheating 5 years from now. Or for a man to meet a girl tomorrow and agree to be monogamous with her and cheat on her at the bar a few months later. No excuse.

on December 27, 2012 at 5:15 pm
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Another way to look at it:

Say your rule/value that you’ve decided for yourself is “I don’t drink. It’s bad for my body and make me lethargic the next day and I have business to attend to.”

Then you go out with friends and they offer you a drink and you go “well I wasn’t really planning on drinking tonight…no thanks” and they go “aww c’mon man!!” and hold a beer in front of you. So you take it and drink it to feel accepted and not rock the boat. Then a couple beers in a cute girl you’re into brings you a shot and says “c’mon have a shot with me!!” and she wants to liquor you up along with her so you two can let loose and she can bang you and blame the alcohol. Knowing this and thinking you’ll need to drink to get laid by her that night, you do the shot.

You get hammered with everyone and bang that chick and it’s great. But in the morning your body feels like shit and your hangover makes you sleep through your business stuff and you have to play catch-up with it later.

Does that guy sound alpha? No. He’s beta because he let other people, peer pressure, pussy scarcity, etc distract him from his goals and he let those things dictate his values and overwrite his own.

Contrast that with the guy who adamantly, confidently states “no, I’m not drinking tonight thanks.” and is steadfast. And when that girl brings over the shots he says “no, I’m not drinking tonight, thanks.” even knowing it’ll be harder to bang her without the alcohol excuse and instead having to rely on his game and charisma to seduce her.

That guy still bangs the girl, but he wakes up, his personal goal/value of not drinking achieved, and does his business shit as planned.

Entering a verbal/legal contract where you agree to monogamy is the same as deciding not to drink. Don’t enter it if that’s not your value, and if you enter it, stick to it or break it off if you can’t because that’s knowing your goals/values and sticking to them regardless of “we’ll it’s hard”.

And yet again the older gen gets a free pass, they were duped into letting society decide their values for them. This generation of men (anyone under 40) should be smarter and more self-aware and more willing to follow their own path.

In a way I respect the MGTOW guys for making their decision (not to play the game) and sticking to it. It’s not for me but I can respect that they’ve made a choice.

on December 27, 2012 at 5:27 pm
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I’d recommend a man spend his 20s figuring out what his values and goals and standards are, by meeting and dating and sleeping with a variety of women and meeting and making friends with a variety of people, and doing some traveling solo to learn how to rely on yourself and build your identity as a man and solidify your internal confidence.

Then in your 30s, follow those values/goals and don’t settle for less and leisurely seek women out that fit your lifestyle and needs.

If these days you get married at 20 to the only girl you’ve dated, you are retarded.

on December 27, 2012 at 10:59 pm
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“Again, such heroic nonsense.”

Transformers rules.

“No one knows right now whether or not they will be able to fuck the same woman 10 years from now, especially if that man’s SMV goes up a point or two while his wife’s declines. If you fuck a dozen 7′s, get married with the best intentions, and have an 8 throw herself at you with a fat wife at home, all of a sudden “morality” turns into “opportunity.””

Well then, perhaps they shouldn’t be getting married or entering monogamous relationships because those are retarded notions that go against our biology and logic when you actually consider the long-term consequences of entering a monogamous relationship.

Oh snap!! I’m here to promote not getting into monogamy, at all, anyone. Did that just blow your mind? πŸ˜›

More to come later, I have an Xmas party to attend.

on December 28, 2012 at 1:47 pm
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@King A:

“Marriage isn’t a mere “contract of monogamy”; it is a covenant and a sacrament. There are high-minded reasons to participate in it”

Oh you mean like believing in a storybook about a magic man in the sky? Definitely sounds logical and rational to me, not like believing in Santa Claus. I would definitely make all my big life decisions based on ridiculous stories in a book instead of real world observation and logic. P.S. I’m not religious, can you tell? Have a field day with THAT one lol try to use the word blasphemer if you can, that’d be completely unpredictable.

“What’s more, weak men complain of the marriage “trap” as a cover for their own shortcomings. They cannot be the man of their own house, they cannot control a woman’s hypergamy with love or with dread”

You know what would be a good solution for those weak men? Creating a contract that tries to force the woman to love and cherish them through sickness and in health rich and poor because they are weak men who can’t keep control of their household or own their woman and be the height of her hypergamy through their own self-development and constructing a legal contract was supposed to help keep their pussy from wandering to guys like me.

Except we all know it doesn’t help and now society favors the woman in divorce so it backfired.

Oh snap, served you again. lol I’m glad people are realizing that while you write pretty things you shouldn’t actually be taken seriously.

on December 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm
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@tatearl on leading women:

Keep experimenting with it, it’s really powerful. The hotter girls tend to shit-test you more because they need to test your congruency but as you’ve found out if you hold your frame, theirs collapses and not only do they obey but they do it with a smile and a giggle. Some stuff to focus on that’ll help is your voice tonality (use breaking rapport and make statements not questions even if what you’re saying is a question, ie – “Where are you going. (Pause/stare)”. Don’t repeat yourself when they pretend not to hear you and go “what!!?” Just stare and say “you heard me.” Or don’t speak, and try experimenting with using less and less words in response to the shit-tests until your response is literally just a raised eyebrow and “you don’t really think ill let you get away with that do you? I didn’t think so.” staredown)

I can link some RSD vids on the subject if you want, they started exploring that huge back around 2009-10 and have a ton of teachings on it. Keep it up! You can do it via txts and online too but it’s trickier because she can’t hear your tonality.

on December 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm
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lol I want to live inside King A’s head for like 10 minutes. I bet it would be fascinating. I’d probably have to wear a top hat and monacle.

Keep doing your thing, man!

on January 5, 2013 at 8:33 am
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You can look at learning the rules of basketball as being a weak frame because you’re not just running around carrying the ball and dunking it in whichever net you want…but some of us like playing the game and find the fun in it because we understand the rules.

If a guy wants to take his ball and go home because he has no interest in basketball, and talk about being better than everyone playing because he does his own thing, that’s cool, long as you’re happy.

But if you’re going home because even tho you WANT to play, you don’t understand the rules or can’t overcome them…well, that’s being forced into a decision by your own lack of willpower/discipline, not choosing a decision based on your wants/goals.

Are The Cads Outbanging The Dads?

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via Heartiste

Rick Derris
on December 26, 2012 at 3:11 pm
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A friend told me that he wanted to start D-bol to get bigger so he’d look more attractive to chicks. I think (hope) I’ve talked him out of it. He’s a really bad ectomorph with very little muscle mass and long, thin bones. Not the type who can easily put on muscle mass, even with weight training, hence his desire to use ‘roids.

Then I thought of trannies. It’s legal for people to go woman —> guy with doctor approved hormones that work akin to anabolic steroids, but an ectomorph can’t get them to simply build up a bit? What a crock of sh*t.

  • Uncle Elmer
    on December 26, 2012 at 5:06 pm
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    Tell him to drop the roids and pattern himself after successful ectomorphs such as Don Knotts, who was rumored to be quite the ladie’s man.

    Success comes from building on one’s natural strengths rather than attempting to improve a weakness.

    • YaReally
      on December 26, 2012 at 6:22 pm
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      “Success comes from building on one’s natural strengths rather than attempting to improve a weakness.”

      This. It’s like a skinny little guy going “why can’t I go punch for punch with Mike Tyson and win? What if I punch every day and night?” You probably still won’t be able to go punch for punch with Mike Tyson…why not think outside the box and learn to evade?

      This is why teaching guys Game is important. You could show this guy Russell Brand or Mystery and he’ll go “well they’re famous and tall” and decide his situation is a special unique snowflake and impossible and go fuck his body up with steroids and shit trying to play the “looks = attraction” game and even if he achieves his ideal look down the road after a bunch of years of feeding his insecure inner-self he’s going to be just as shit as he is with girls now because he didn’t learn to base his confidence internally…then a few years later nature will take its course and his looks will start to fade with age and he’ll be worse than he is now because then he’ll have tasted his “ideal looks” and have to fight nature trying to keep them. Once his external attributes start to go, he’s doomed because his entire self-worth was based on them.

      It’s depressing and awful and I hope he listens to you.

    • YaReally
      on December 26, 2012 at 8:24 pm
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      Also a good quote. To relate it to pick-up: Hot girls don’t really care WHAT you’re interested in, good at, passionate about, or awesome at…just be interested in, good at, passionate about, or awesome at SOMETHING.

      That’s why you can talk about “uncool” shit with girls, like if you’re passionate about videogames, you can talk about that. Tyler from RSD talks about nutrition and shit with girls. I talk about psychology and social dynamics with them now and then. They care more that you have passions and goals etc. than what those passions and goals etc. actually ARE. Because really, most girls don’t have any fucking interests of their own lol

      It goes back to that rule of “I don’t do it because it’s cool, it’s cool because I do it.”

      So if you’re good at or passionate about something you don’t think would appeal to girls, it’s often more worth your time to really own that than it is to start doing shit you think will appeal to girls but that you have no real interest in.

    • YaReally
      on December 26, 2012 at 8:30 pm
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      There will always be someone better looking than you, there will always be someone with more money than you, there will always be someone with a more defined 6-pack than you, there will always be someone with a nicer car than you…and the really high-end girls are surrounded by these guys so that stuff starts to lose its value because everyone has it. Hell, even SHE has it if she’s rich or high-status or a celebrity etc.

      So what in your life is something that every other guy isn’t competing tooth & nail to be the best at, or even capable of being the best at? How do you stand out?

      A lot of super hot girls end up with “weird” guys (like super artsy dudes) who make you go “wtf? why is she with THAT guy??” And then you hang with that guy and you realize he’s got a really strong frame and is super passionate about whatever his shit is, while the other guys around her are just cookie-cutter guys all running the rat race to compare dick sizes with eachother hoping to get her attention.

    • YaReally
      on December 27, 2012 at 5:16 am
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      How do you explain guys with money, power, and fame who aren’t dating Playboy bunnies?

      If MPF make men attractive to hot women, why are there a lineup of good looking guys in Armani suits standing on Death Row all night then going home alone at every high-end nightclub every weekend?

      That’s like saying “a $10 bill can buy 1 of this item except sometimes it can’t.” It doesn’t make sense. Either that $10 bill is worth $10 or it’s not. If MPF alone creates these superhuman dark triad super ninjas, why are there guys with MPF who don’t have Playboy gfs? Or are you saying those don’t exist? That every man with MPF has a super hottie the instant they come into MPF? Are there no pro athletes who are single or dating mediocre women?

      Sure, there are guys who’s “dark triad” traits helped them get MPF and that’s great, their dark triad traits are what are attractive to women, not the external MPF itself (except to gold-diggers and even then that’s opportunity not attraction).

      The good part to having MPF is that that helps you get access to Playboy bunnies whereas Joe Average in Wisconsin probably isn’t going to be invited to Heff’s mansion anytime soon. But when you drop Bill Gates in the middle of the Playboy mansion along with any of the Naturals I know, the Naturals are getting poon while Gates holds up a wall.

      Go out a bunch, to high-end nightclubs, and watch how some MPF guys get pussy and some don’t. Then figure out what the commonalities and differences are between the groups. Then figure out which commonalities produce consistent results. You’ll end up back where I said: at internal confidence.

    • YaReally
      on December 27, 2012 at 5:21 am
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      Here’s a simpler way of putting why your fears of these super ninjas is a waste of time:

      How many Playboy models did you talk to this week? Ballpark figure. Say even this month, like when they weren’t busy doing their centerfold photo-shoot? Zero?

      And how many super ninja alpha MPF rich Ferrari driving mansion owning dark triad badass 6-pack super players did you meet this week? Say this month even. Zero? Maybe one or two max?

      And how many times did you compete head to head with these super ninja alpha dark triad playboy billionaires, for the attention and subsequent fucking of the previously mentioned Playboy models you were both surrounded by? Ballpark figure? Say in this last month? Approximately zero times?

      …so what exactly is your concern? Seriously.

    • YaReally
      on December 27, 2012 at 2:40 pm
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      The reason she’s fucking celebrities instead of the unemployed drummer isn’t that his lack of job isn’t attractive, or that celebrity status is attractive, it’s that the drummer doesn’t have access to her world. ie – he’s not partying in the same bars/social circles as she is, and when she goes out she’s not mingling, she has 4 bodyguards with her and she’s meeting guys through her social circles which, as a celebrity, are generally networks of celebrities. Women tend to date men they meet through social circles in general (like a college girl dating someone in her school), and her celebrity status only enhanced that because she has more to lose (risking her reputation, finances, career, etc) banging a random guy who isn’t pre-approved by her social circles. And even when she meets an “outsider” she has to put up a wall of fake politeness because of her reputation because she doesn’t know who that guy is so even if he’s cool, he has an uphill battle to break through that wall of artificiality.

      Note that those are all external logistical barriers that are preventing the unemployed natural and the celeb from hooking up. They have nothing to do with actual attraction. They’re the same as if you hung out in a sausage-fest bar instead of the Playboy mansion…it’s not that those girls won’t find you attractive it’s that you’re not in the same social world as them.

      So gaining MPF can get you access to these environments and get you an intro to that celeb, but that’s all it gets you. From there you need game.

      This is a very important distinction and I think that guys who don’t go out don’t fucking get why I’m differentiating these two things. They read what I wrote and think “so you’re agreeing I should get MPF because then I’ll get celeb pussy” and ya the end result is you will have better access to where those girls are compared to the average joe but that’s not getting you attraction.

      You can get the exact same result through other means. Like say being Hugh Heffner’s best childhood friend. He became a jillionaire and you’re a janitor but you and him go way back and he trusts you like crazy and you’re his best friend in the world because you guys have history and he trusts you. Would you need MPF to land Playboy bunnies? No, you’re Heff’s buddy, you have access to the mansion plus the social proof of Heff introducing you to people. You’ve just gotten into the same logistical scenario as the MPF celebrity except you did it by fluke by being his buddy…but the important thing to take from it is that despite being a janitor, you have the same opportunity to bang those girls as the MPF guy so if you have some decent game, you’re banging playboy models like the MPF guy.

      Group Theory in traditional Game (ie – Mystery Method, and Lovesystem’s Social Circle DVDs) are about learning how to work social circles and use Game to connect people and network and use women as pivots and build comfort/rapport with people and build your way up TO the point where you’re a part of these social circles that have the types of girls that you want. Whether it’s the rocker type chicks who hate MPF guys or the high-end socialite hotties that have 4 bodyguards out with them, you’re working your way up the ladder of those groups to have access to those girls without needing MPF so you end up in the position of Heff’s janitor BFF.

      From there it comes down to whether you have better game than the MPF guy, as any ugly charismatic guy who’s gotten laid while their better looking but AFC buddy goes home alone, demonstrates.

      Get what I’m saying? This is why I say I’ll put my Natural buddy up against most MPF dudes with Playboy bunnies any day of the week and he’ll get laid first and by hotter girls because his game is ridiculous…BUT he’ll never have access to those girls because as a Natural he doesn’t consciously cultivate climbing the social ladder toward that goal.

      Some PUAs on the other hand, who are looking at the bigger picture, purposely figure out the ladders and focus on climbing them using the skillsets Mystery et al laid out for us.

      I think a lot of you guys have too narrow a focus in what Game is and what potential it has beyond just picking up a one night stand.

      Here’s a sample of how I’d work a room to put myself in a high-status position quickly, I posted it at Rollo’s:

      This part of the seminar talks about merging sets and using pivots and comfort etc, but with MM his view OF pickup is that basically the entire bar is one big set, so Group Theory is sort of mixed into all of his stuff as opposed to just having a very separate “how to shmooze the manager of a bar” section, you know?:

      I recommend watching all the MM clips (that’s Part 4, I think there’s 5 parts), because a lot of the stuff that works on women, works on men too. Men respond to social proof (lonely old man comes up to you and says hi, old man with 4 Playboy models comes up to you and says hi, who do you assume is higher value?), comfort/rapport building (figuring out what their values are and mirroring them back to him, being authentic/honest, sharing vulnerabilities/commonalities, making confident eye contact, etc.)…there’s a hook point (the point where they go from not caring if you leave to enjoying the interaction and not waiting for you to leave) with guys just like there is with girls and mixed sets. And once you cross the hook point you can build comfort/rapport and lead the conversation towards qualifying them, etc.
      so basically you’re running a lot of the same stuff one-on-one stuff on the guys that you are on the girls (not kino, lol), and to GET to that one-on-one situation you use external Game tactics (social proof, pivots, merging sets, etc.), depending on how high value the guy is. If he’s just a random Nice Guy dude in a mixed set, you can just be like “Hey man how’s your night, these girls are gorgeous hey?” and he’s happy to chit-chat with you and boom, you’re his new BFF for the night and he introduces you to his girls.
      If the guy is super high value, like a Rollo at one of his liquor promo events where his time is taken up by all the attention he’s getting and he’s very clearly the highest value person in the room, you need to bust out more tactics to get on his radar. It’s the same as an average girl VS a smokin hot turbo girl surrounded by 10 guys…you can just say “Hey, what’s up?” to the average girl, and that MIGHT work on the smokin hot turbo girl, but better would be to roll up to the turbo girl with 2 girls on your arms laughing and then dropping a Neg on her as you pass by, know what I mean?
      So here’s some mental masturbation for how I would work one of Rollo’s events (except it’s not mental masturbation because I’ve actually done this kind of thing, more than once, lol I usually follow a gameplan similar to this but you have to tweak it for the situation of course):
      If I walked in solo, I’d start from the bottom and work my way up. Open and befriend a bunch of easy sets, merge them with eachother to be the social connector (if two sets are merged by someone, the person with the highest value in that new large set is the guy who connected them because both sets assume he must know everyone in the other group of strangers they’ve just met) and use them as social proof and pivots to work my way up to the hotter girls in the bar. I’d keep an eye on who Rollo talks to and figure out which of them are close to him and which are random acquaintences and I’d approach them instead of him directly (same way you get to a turbo girl, open her friends instead of bee-lining it for her which makes her think you want something).
      Building comfort/etc. with his acquaintences (if they’re women, innocently flirt with and flatter them, if they’re men, introduce them to women I’ve met that night), eventually I’d end up in Rollo’s vicinity and onto his radar. Ideally I’d have one of his closer acquaintences I’ve been building comfort with introduce me to him (“Oh is THAT Rollo? I love this event, I wanted to say hi to him but he’s running around so much I haven’t gotten a chance.” which generally results in an “Oh come with me, I’ll introduce you!”). Now I’m getting intoduced to him, maybe with a hottie on my arm, through one of his close acquaintances (social proof, pre-selection, being recommended by one of his social circle etc. are all packed into my introduction now) and he’s probably noticed me doing my thing at points throughout the night and, as far as he knows, I know a ton of people at his event because I’ve been chatting with people and twirling girls around on the dance floor etc…Much better than just making a bee-line from the door as an annonymous nobody and going directly up to him looking to take value which COULD work and he might be friendly because it’s his event, but would probably put him on his guard and keep me at arm’s length and I have bigger goals in mind than just scoring a promo drink off him.
      Once I get to him (lol like getting to the boss in a videogame after levelling up, working a room really is similar to that), and introduce him to a girl or two that I’ve met that night, I figure out what his values and our commonalities are (not hard to figure out based on the event we’re at and the conversations I’ve had with people who know him etc.) and I start building a connection with him. From here, ideally I isolate him from the group (lol, this sounds so gay I know) because people bond better with some alone time together, but this can be as simple as grabbing a drink at the bar with him or whatever, I just need a few minutes where we’re talking directly to eachother. DHV a bit, be a fun guy, joke around with the bartender as we get a drink (who ideally I’ve met earlier in the night when I was building up my value), and basically be an all-around cool social high-value guy.
      He’ll have shit to do mingling and all that, obviously, so I know I only get a few minutes, but generally manager types will give me their card at this point and offer to hook me up etc. because it looks like I’m the kind of guy they want at their events and that I can probably bring people, etc. (ie – I bring value instead of take it). From this point on that night, I’m about as high value as he is, or slightly less, because he thinks I’m cool but I’m not a close friend yet. That’s enough for that event though, I can use the value I’ve got now with pretty much any chick at the event.
      But to play it long-term, I’ll shoot him a txt the next day congratulating him on the event, saying I had a great time, and because it’s Rollo probably mentioning I got laid to make him laugh. He saves my # and the next event I’m out at, I invite him out, or when he’s doing his “invite all the event type people out” invites he has to do as part of his business networking he invites me out. When I show up I make sure to come say hi to him and shoot the shit for a bit (usually if they own the club we’re in they’ll buy me a shot/drinks here, but they do that for all the regulars so I know I have to make an effort to shoot the shit about something relevant to them and build some comfort). Over the course of a few events I don’t necessarily become one of his close friends (though you never know, sometimes you just click with people solid and end up hanging out outside the bar scene, or if I threw a good party or something he might show up as we got to know eachother), but I at least become a guy that he looks forward to seeing.
      At THAT point when I walk into his event, he goes “YaReally!! Hey man! Glad you made it, how’s it going?” and shakes my hand “I want you to meet Such and Such” and I get introduced via him and everyone around us (staff, girls, etc.) sees I know the most important guy in the room and how happy he is to see me, and now I basically look higher value than him since he’s so eager to introduce me around, so I MUST be high value. If we DO build a friendship outside of the bar scene as well, then I become a close friend and become even higher value when I show up because now I’m his good buddy dropping in.
      So ya, that’s what I’d do. Like I say, I know that’s what I’d do because I’ve done it before lol It sounds like a lot of work to read all this, but when you logically look at what’s involved in it, 1) the only money I NEED to spend is whatever it costs to attend the event (usually like $10 club cover, or more for a larger ticketed event), 2) the majority of it only takes me like 2-4 hours at the first main event then some after-care, 3) I don’t even need massive seduction skills for most of it, just general social and comfort/rapport skills, 4) I don’t need to have money, a job, a car, etc. for any of it, just charisma and understanding Game, 5) it’s all fun, I get to meet a ton of people and probably come out of it with a bunch of cool stories…
      But most importantly 6) It’s sure as shit easier/faster/cheaper than starting a line of liquor brands and running a promo event or buying and managing a nightclub etc.

      One other thing to note about that strategy I wrote up above is that no part of it requires any kind of superhuman magic powers. If you break down what I’m doing through out, literally all I’m doing is causally chatting some people up in a friendly way, getting to know them a bit, and introducing them to eachother. There’s no “oh I could never do that” magic ninja tricks in there. I’m just doing it in a very strategic manner, and applying Game tactics to help out (like comfort to connect with guys, and teasing/kino to flirt with girls, etc.). It’s all just basic game applied strategically with a purpose/goal.

    • YaReally
      on December 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm
      Original Link

      Jack gets it.

      The disconnect is that to you guys you can only get the high-value that MPF brings by achieving MPF. Your scope is too narrow and it tells me that you don’t have a wide variety of social circles and that you don’t have solid cold-approach skills that you regularly work on (thinking you’d be good at chatting up strangers and visualizing it is not the same as doing it for 10+ hours every week).

      If you regularly cold-approached and worked varieties of social circles and merged them and pivoted off them you’d have seen first-hand that high value is about building connections with the right people and the rest can be an illusion or temporary or situational and the same result is achieved (access to hotties the MPF guys have access to).

      Again read my comment here about how I’d work Rollo’s party. The end result of that strategy (that I’ve executed before, consistently) is that I’d have the same or even higher value than Rollo and thus have access to the same girls.

      You have to understand that Game, even PUA Game, is not just about getting one-on-one short-term pussy. A lot of the marketing focuses on that because that draws guys in, but the Mystery Method wasn’t about just banging some lone wolf girl separated from her friends. It was about becoming the highest value guy in high value social circles without needing to run the MPF rat-race every other guy is running.

      Watch the Mystery Method DVDs, they’re on YouTube. I believe Part 4 is where he talks about using pivots and merging groups etc. Combine that with understanding how alpha/value/AMOG tech works and you’re on your way to worlds of access that normal people only dream of.

      I’m VIP at a few clubs where I live right now. Is it because I have MPF and I make it rain money and shit? No, it’s because I strategically targeted specific people and methodically worked my way up the social chain to where managers and owners see me and come over to shake my hand and introduce me to people and I get free drinks all night and access to the hot girls and staff chicks.

      And I can reproduce that in any environment with the same strategies…whether its the local coffee shop or my work environment or a new nightclub etc.

      Sure the MPF guy walks in and has the same value as me but while he spent his time building his MPF, I spent mine practicing seducing women specifically, so he may be high-value and a badass in his social circle but my game is tighter, and it only needs to be 1% tighter. Go head to head with guys for girls and try taking girls off guys at the bar to experience this. If you’re not willing to do that and haven’t both succeeded and failed at it and seen the consistent patterns, you’re just mentally masturbating theory.

    • YaReally
      on December 28, 2012 at 2:56 pm
      Original Link

      I sure wish we could all be badass pussy slayers who deeply understand all the secrets of the universe right out of high school like King A.

      I bet even Jesus wants to be like King A.

      I am absolutely CERTAIN that you hang out in the highest of value social circles with the absolute hottest women and wide varieties of friends from across the world.


We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Hamster

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 24, 2012 at 2:48 am
Original Link

As a comment on the OP — yeah, this is the attitude I see most women between 18-30 having. It’s like this unearned ‘everything I do is awesome and I you will never hold me accountable for anything bad I do.’ So this woman’s post is just the next step — ‘we probably can look like shit and still be great!’ Nonsense.


So, I had two cool experiences, and I will break them down. None count as cold approaches, though, which really sucks. Before I get to them, just general info: I’m still doing this whole identity thing. The weirdest part about it is that -so many- things make me angry/annoy me. I never focused on it before, but it’s true. And, you know, I guess I’m acting out now…trying to acknowledge my emotions instead of just ignoring them altogether. Resulted in a funny scene the other day at a game where I ended up sitting on the outside of the group — and you know how that is, can’t hear shit. It just pissed me right off, to the point where I was just like ‘this is fucking stupid, speak up goddammit, no one can hear you over here.’ So…just think a lot of little moments like that spread over this past week or two. To my surprise, the reaction of my friends has been more surprise and ‘hey, you okay man?’ type of stuff. I get the feeling that expressing my emotions in a ‘cool’ way will take a lot of time, but whatever, it feels WAY better just being like ‘fuck it this is how I feel right now.’

Experience one:

At a kickback (classic sitch of a get together being advertised as a party and ending up with only like eleven people :P), this one girl we all know came, and she’s pretty cool, I kind of like her. She brings three friends — one of them is a clear dyke, the other is questionable, and the other is straight (seems pretty straight, anyway) and a HB 7. So, after everyone says hi to her, I say hi, and we chat for a few seconds. Nothing important here, I’m just being social rather than trying to game.

Then….here it comes…she makes a joke:
“What was your name again?”

BOOM. Laughter all around. She knew my name, and it was a joke. But man….it instantly pissed me off. And yeah, I could have attempted to ignore it, but the first step is just dwelling in the emotion…the second step is learning to properly deal with it. So, before, I would have gone along with it. Instead, I just kind of……well…..

“…man, that really hurts. I really like you. You know who I am.”
“Aw, come on, I’m just kidding.”

…then I just rise up from my chair, shake my head, and just walk away. She laughs, they carry on. So, I’m thinking, ‘whatever…’ I told the truth in a sort of jokey way. Check this out…later on, they’re standing away from the main group talking, and I go over there under the guise of pouring wine for someone else (that someone was so drunk they wouldn’t know the difference anyway). So anyway, the girl I’m kind of crushing on is like

“Hey, you know I’m just messing with you, right?”

“My heart was broken then…but that’s all behind me now. I’ve moved on with my life.”

“(nods with a laugh) Okay, good to hear it.”


At this time, cross-talk happens and the HB 7 comments on the entire party behind us. She says something loud like “they’re all talking in alphabetical order!” Her dyke friend immediately moves to make fun of her, by turning to me and repeating what she said. And I blink…and just nod like ‘YEAH THEY ARE.’ And the dyke is like ‘noooo, she just said it in such a dramatic way.’ And I just put my hand in front of her face and looked at the HB 7.

“They were fucking talking in alphabetical order, for sure, and your friend is a huge fucking hater. Deal with it.”

The HB 7’s mouth drops, and the dyke starts to tag-team me with the other ‘questionable’ girl. In that moment, I felt something I’d never felt in a social interaction — domination. They were insulting me, but there was something different in it — they were supplicating. Trying to prove to me and justify to me that what they did was correct, and that the HB 7 did, in fact, use an overly dramatic tone. My response was almost instinctive, I just pretended not to hear them and danced a little in place, swirling around my cup of wine. HB 7 and my original ‘don’t know your name’ friend start laughing. Then, the HB 7 suddenly steps closer and is like ‘can I have your number?’ No bullshit here, and I saw — I felt! — the attraction radiating from her toward me. I blinked, and before I could say even one word, my original friend pushes her more toward me and is like ‘yeah, get each other’s info…get married…go for it.’ I managed to get her number, but got almost no interaction with her after that…her friends like, swooped in on her, surrounding her like a cockblocking wall. They left 10 minutes later to find a better party. (I wish that the party would have been larger!)

So yeah…what do we make of that? I’m unsure. I’m pretty sure I did like most everything wrong and caught a spot of luck, but I gotta say, it just feels good trying to channel how I feel into something verbal.

Next situation:

At another party — thankfully, this one is a real damned party. So, friend’s girlfriend is an HB 6. I swipe this expensive three-button long-sleeved shirt from one of my friends, pop the collar, and just kind of cruise the party. I wander outside where friend and his gf are there with two other people, including the friend who I jacked the shirt from, and I’m like ‘who the FUCK is out here?’ -Everyone- but her seems unmoved by my entrance, but she laughs. My friend is like ‘hey that’s a nice sweater, you look really good in it.’ I’m like ‘ah, this old thing, you know…I have good taste.’ At this point the HB 6 starts telling me to model the shirt, and you know, I’m like ‘yeah, I guess I can just be a dancing monkey here, screw it.’ So I do it — and I notice that she’s touching me a lot, but I’m just like…’whatever, her bf’s right here, obviously she’s just touchy.’ So, after her finally asking me to turn around to see if I have the right butt to model the shirt (she approves), and I think that’s the end of it.

Later, her bf is nowhere around, but she’s there, and she’s like ‘still popping that collar eh?’ And I’m like, ‘fucking right, you pop the collar when you’re bringing the funk.’ She responds ‘…it’s a real short funk, eh?’

And at this point, I just do the same thing I’ve been doing — and the cool thing is that, what’s going to happen, someone yell at me for saying something offensive? Who gives a shit. So I just stop and look straight at her

‘I will FUCK the shit out of you.’

Her eyes widen and she just laughs it off, then I start dancing — she starts dancing with me. FYI — totally not the kind of dancing bf’s are okay with. In fact, her boyfriend walked in when me and her were near the end of the song. And you know, he laughs — she backs off and is like ‘oooooh, it’s just the shirt, can’t resist it. It’s a great shirt.’ I just sort of nod. Now I’m starting to think something is happening…

More of the night passes, and we end up going to a bar. So our friends are all kind of spread out, and somehow, it ends up that everyone else is either playing pool, ordering drinks, or in the restroom — including her boyfriend — and it’s just me and her. So she looks over at me and is like

“So where’s your girlfriend?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Oh yeah, you’re a pretty hot guy….are you gay?”

See, in my mind I’m like ‘why the FUCK are people saying I’m gay?! Goddammit!’ But I have enough sense to try and process the whole message.

“Are you interested?” is the first thing I can think of. Meh.

She laughs, but I just stare at her. Like….just hardcore stare. She looks away.

“If I didn’t have a boyfriend, yeah probably…”

Then, I just sense that the moment is right and the frame has shifted. So I grin at her and I’m like…

“…hey, it’s okay…I’m gay, remember.”

Instant laugh and her. hand. goes on my thigh (!!!!?!?!?!!!) along with

“…you’re a problem.”

Her hand leaves my thigh, I just shrug with a smile, and then her bf comes back. They leave shortly thereafter.

So….you know….these weren’t cold approaches, but I feel like some dots are accidentally being connected sometimes in some ways :D

  • YaReally
    on January 2, 2013 at 11:51 pm
    Original Link

    Ready? ’cause I’m about to blow your fucking mind here lol You can tell that some kind of dots are somehow accidentally being connected but can’t quite place your finger on how, why, or what the dots are…I’m about to draw you a big ol’ word diagram explaining all those dots and their connections so you can consciously and competantly see the shit you can feel is there. :)

    “None count as cold approaches, though, which really sucks.”

    It’s all good. You have plenty of time to get into cold approaching down the road. Celebrate all your victories. :)

    “The weirdest part about it is that -so many- things make me angry/annoy me. I never focused on it before, but it’s true. And, you know, I guess I’m acting out now…trying to acknowledge my emotions instead of just ignoring them altogether.”

    So before when you’d approach a girl or she’d test you or anything, you probably didn’t even realize you were angry/annoyed but likely you were sub-communicating this frustration and, since girls learn to subconsciously read those sub-communications from the time they grow tits, they were probably picking up on this weird “No I’m fine :) (internally: “AHHH FUCK THIS IS STUPID”)” incongruence lol

    Thing is, you can be an angry guy, and get attraction…because the congruence is more attractive than the behavior itself. ie – when a nice but suspicious person approaches you on the street at night, you’re on your guard and wary. But the fucking crazy drunk loon rolling around on the ground shouting about aliens, well, you know exactly what that guy’s about and you know there are no surprises in interacting with him…in a way you TRUST him more than you trust the nice but suspicious person who seems to have some kind of ulterior motive.

    This is why a lot of assholes get girls…because they’re genuinely assholes and up front about that and not hiding who they are or what they think/believe/feel. On the flip side, some genuinely nice guys get girls, like a lot of high-value cool guys who are just chill and friendly with everyone and compliment women etc…those guys succeed because they’re legitimately expressing themselves.

    The disconnect for most AFC guys is that they THINK they’re that second guy I described, and are like “wtf I’m a Nice Guy, why can’t I get a girl??” and they don’t realize that that’s exactly the same vibe you’re just realizing you’ve had where you’re not REALLY being honest about what you think/feel…and that’s not even your fault, society conditions us not to really self-analyze and to just plod along thinking we’re special snowflakes. But it’s a consistent thing. That’s why the Red Pill is hard to swallow for a lot of Nice Guys, because they have to accept “shit, all this time I’ve thought I was like this, but in reality I’m ACTUALLY like THIS, and THIS isn’t really that good a person…wow…I have some work to do :(”

    “It just pissed me right off, to the point where I was just like ‘this is fucking stupid, speak up goddammit, no one can hear you over here.’”

    lol :) You’re on the right path now. You’ll find that a lot of pickup is based in being so frustrated by something that you finally take action to change it. Like a guy coming up to steal your girl and you’re just like “No fuck this!! Not again!!!” and pick her up over your shoulder and carry her away from the guy mid-conversation and then she fucking loves you lol

    A common one that I run into is say there’s 2 girls and my buddy and I start talking to them. His girl is into him and my girl is into me (like she’s giving me EC and trying to hear what I say) but because she’s across from me and my buddy’s girl is across from him, we’re all intersecting awkwardly trying to have two separate conversations through eachother.

    So I’ll just go “This is stupid, come here.” and put my hand out and pull her awkwardly through my buddy and his girl’s conversation over to me and now her and I can have a conversation while my buddy can work his girl. The moment is awkward, but the reality is that the frustration is forcing me to express what I really want and take action, so the end result is attraction instead of “wow that was really awkward”.

    “the reaction of my friends has been more surprise and ‘hey, you okay man?’ type of stuff.”

    lol ya, this is part of why we recommend going out solo, making new friends, and practicing on strangers. Changing your behavior will weird some of your friends out, and there are times where they’ll actively try to force you back into the role they’re used to you playing. “Dude, are you okay man? You seem stressed, you’re never like this…dude, chill out man, you’re creeping those girls out, why are you saying that stuff? Why are you being an asshole to her man? You used to be a nice guy, what’s up man, are you stressed or something? That’s not cool dude, you shouldn’t talk like that…”

    If their pressure is too hard to deal with, you may have to stop hanging out with them. That part sucks. A lot, actually. You sometimes find out that you really only had 1 or 2 REAL friends in a group who want you to work on yourself and improve your life, and all the other friends that you thought were really close buddies will actually just try to keep you down and stifle your self-development.

    Sometimes they’re right, that you’re doing weird/creepy shit. You’re going to be crossing a lot of boundaries to learn where those boundaries ARE, so you WILL do some legit awkward stuff…but if you can calmly explain “Sorry man, it’s just that this has always kind of bugged me and I’ve just never said anything, you know? I’m not trying to be a dick, I’ve just been watching this Tony Robbins shit and he talks about how you should express your feelings and right now I’m feeling like this kind of blows lol”, or something along those lines that fits your personality, and they don’t support you, well, they might not have your best interests at heart and it could be time to find new friends.

    “I get the feeling that expressing my emotions in a ‘cool’ way will take a lot of time”

    Yup, you’ll learn to do it. It’s like before you were way into the Nice Guy zone, and now you’re going to swing way into the Asshole zone because being abrasive/etc. will get you some results even if it alienates some people and that’s addicting so you’ll take it and run with it…but down the road you’ll swing back a bit into the middle and find what fits you best. We all go through it as we learn about ourselves, a lot of the stuff I did when I started out I don’t do anymore because I’ve figured out my Identity.

    “it feels WAY better just being like ‘fuck it this is how I feel right now.’”
    :) You’re finally being honest, both with other people around you and with yourself. Understand that you were never a bad person, or a liar or anything, you were just socially conditioned like 99% of the world and you’re finally waking up to that and breaking out of it…it’s like taking weights off your limbs and being able to finally move again…that feeling of freedom is a big part of why PUA sucks people in.

    On a deep note, I feel like I live an extremely honest, congruent life, compared to pretty much everyone else I know. I know who I am, what I want, what I approve and don’t approve of, what I expect from the people around me and my relationships, and I’m very up-front about all that and don’t apologize for it. People might not like my views, but they respect that I’m honest. Where on the flip side I know guys cheating on their GFs, or girls lying about how they feel because they’re scared to rock the boat in their relationships with their family, or people who cut loose and act completely different when they’re drunk and all the repressed shit comes out, etc. etc. and to me it’s just a bunch of people who are often genuinely good people, but they’re trapped in this suffocating web where they can’t express or go for what they really want (or even admit it to themselves). In a way it’s sad to me, because being my friends, I wish they could break free and live honestly and lead happier lives. (some of them actually thrive off the drama though lol)

    “Then….here it comes…she makes a joke:”

    Her teasing you is an Indicator of Interest, though she might not even realize it. Would you tease a 400lb fat girl to her face? Probably not. But you might call the hottie you’re into a nerd for wearing a Transformers shirt. :)

    On the flip side, would she say that to you if you were some gross homeless bum off the street? No, she’d want to end the convo as quick as possible and stay off your radar.

    “But man….it instantly pissed me off.”
    :) In time, you’ll legitimately laugh it off in your head. Like your internal dialogue will change completely from how it is now. So don’t worry that you got pissed, you’re still at the “fake it till you make it” stage.

    “And yeah, I could have attempted to ignore it”

    A lot of guys here will recommend that you be all James Bond style and just raise an eyebrow. And that’s cool, but step back and look at this emotionlessly from a logical Game perspective:

    1) She shit-tested you.
    2) Shit-testing you is actually an Indicator of Interest.
    3) Passing a shit-test demonstrates congruency and increases her attraction for you.

    Add that all up and you basically have a PERFECT opportunity to increase her attraction, by demonstrating your personality. Raising an eyebrow James Bond style doesn’t demonstrate much. But doing something like you do here, where you roleplay that your heart is broken, that you’re in love, making her feel drama like maybe you’re really hurt by her or pissed at her so she’s thinking about your interaction after you’ve left, etc…how much BETTER is that in terms of building an emotional reaction in her to you?

    So you handled this perfectly. Breakdown:

    “So, before, I would have gone along with it.”

    And you would have been lying/dishonest/incongruent and not expressing yourself and your personality (aka your Identity). And a little notch of frustration would be added to all that pent up “I get really pissed off at stuff around me that I didn’t realize actually bugs me!” energy you’ve had for probably years.

    “What was your name again?”

    Here she tries to take/set the frame: aka tell me your name, do what I want/expect because I’m a girl and men do what I want.

    “…man, that really hurts. I really like you. You know who I am.”

    Here you avoid her frame and keep/set yours: you’re not answering her question, you’re scolding her, and you’re fucking with her emotions a bit proclaiming your really liking her (she thinks “?? is he serious? is he a creeper? does he like me? wtf?” and it’s not an attracted reaction, but it’s ANY kind of reaction, and that’s better than NO reaction…you’re appearing on her radar. You can make a bad first impression or a good first impression, it really doesn’t matter (as long as you know how to recover from the bad one), as long as you make SOME impression you’re polarizing yourself and standing out from the crowd of Nice Guys she runs into)

    “Aw, come on, I’m just kidding.”

    Here she tries to take the frame: implies you’re over-reacting and really the response she’s expecting here is a butt-hurt “oh okay, sorry I over-reacted…” But what do YOU do? lol:


    lol awesome. Here you’re shitting all over her frame: you’re not backing down from what you said, you’re not doing what she wants, and in fact you’re exaggerating way over the top the very thing she told you to basically tone down. This is the classic way of passing shit-tests. Like “How many girls have you slept with?” “Just one.” “No way, tell me the truth!!” “Okay, one billion.” (no apology, not doing what she wants, exaggerating, basically showing her that you aren’t so captivated with her for having tits that you won’t fuck around and amuse yourself in the interaction).

    You probably didn’t do it on purpose, but you actually handled this in an optimal manner. :)

    “So, I’m thinking, ‘whatever…’ I told the truth in a sort of jokey way.”

    Yep. As you go, you’ll learn to express the truth but with a self-amused grin internally and externally, instead of being pissed on the inside and having to consciously filter it through a “how to present this in a non-butt-hurt way”. Like it legitimately won’t bother you and you’ll see it for what it is (a chance to demonstrate your personality and build attraction) and you’ll be HAPPY when she does shit like that because you’ll know she’s helping you lead things to sex. :)

    “So anyway, the girl I’m kind of crushing on is like”
    :) As expected. You’re on her radar and you left her thinking about the interaction and you and not knowing what the deal is exactly…are you mad at her? Do you love her? Why did you react like that? Who ARE you? What’s your deal?? And you allowed her the opportunity to re-open you easily. She doesn’t necessarily want to fuck you or is super attracted or anything, but your last interaction basically left her with an itch that she needs to scratch.

    Try walking away from a girl who’s talking to you mid-sentence sometime. lol Like don’t say anything or pretend to see a friend across the room or anything, just literally go from staring at her making eye-contact while she talks, to just walking away and getting a drink or whatever and standing elsewhere or making small-talk with someone else. It’s almost guaranteed that she’ll approach you again or be relieved when you come back to her…again it’s not necessarily attraction, but it’s an itch she needs to scratch and makes her wonder wtf just happened there, which means she’s thinking about YOU and not some other dude…this is basically getting her to react emotionally to you.

    “Hey, you know I’m just messing with you, right?”

    Same exact frame-grab attempt as she did before, except worded differently. She implies you’re over-reacting and really the response she’s expecting here is a butt-hurt “oh okay, sorry I over-reacted…” But again what do you do?:

    “My heart was broken then…but that’s all behind me now. I’ve moved on with my life.”

    No apologies for your actions, not doing what she wants, and exaggerating the stuff she wanted you to tone down. But now you’ve added to the role-play and are amusing yourself and this is the point where she goes from “not sure what this guy’s deal is” to “ohhhhh he’s just fucking with me!! lol what a fucker!!!”

    THIS is the point where Attraction is sparked. Essentially what you’ve done is filled her with a bunch of anxious emotions (“omg is he mad at me, did I say something wrong, who is he, does he think I’m an asshole”) and let her stew on it for a bit, then pulled the cork and swooooosh all that anxiety rushes out like air out of a balloon and she’s relieved and can relax.

    It’s the same feeling of relief as when you gotta’ run home to take a shit and just barely make it to the can in time. :) You’re never more appreciative of that toilet than that moment lol because you had so much anxiety leading up to it.

    Now she knows you’re a guy that does whatever he wants and just fucks around with girls who look like her, and that you’re not intimidated and won’t fall into her frame and you’re smart enough to fool her and she feels silly for falling for it. How many guys do you think do all that to her the first time they meet her?

    “(nods with a laugh) Okay, good to hear it.”

    She’s legit attracted and curious here, but as a girl she doesn’t really have any game lol So she doesn’t know what to follow up with. This is why PUAs stress Leading, because this is where it’s like the reins are on the ground and the horse wants to go somewhere, but it needs you to pick up those reins and go “Let’s go get a drink.” etc.


    lol not the optimal way of responding (neither of you is taking the reins here and leading things forward), but not terrible or anything. It’s just one of those “you won $50 but you could’ve won $500″ moments that you’ll learn to spot in the future as your game becomes more streamlined and efficient.

    “She says something loud like “they’re all talking in alphabetical order!” Her dyke friend immediately moves to make fun of her, by turning to me and repeating what she said.”

    Understand that at this point THEY HAVE TALKED ABOUT YOU lol Like when you were off talking to whoever about whatever after you told her you love her and walked off, guaranteed the convo involved the HB7 going “Who was THAT??” and the girls gossipping about you and your relationship with CrushGirl etc. (just as a heads-up, Field Reports are why we give girls names like HBCrush and ChubbyDyke etc., so it’s easier to keep track of who’s who in the report, so I’m calling your crush CrushGirl from here)

    Also, girls speak loudly when they WANT you to hear what they’re saying and they want SOMEONE to react. My Natural buddy does it too, as a girl’s passing he’ll say something a little extra loud, often something offensive (lol), to make them react to him and then he can bring them into the conversation.

    Dyke isn’t necessarily cock-blocking, but she is technically an obstacle. Fortunately you again handle this flawlessly for a guy who’s new to game:

    “And I blink…and just nod like ‘YEAH THEY ARE.’”

    lol. She tried to set the frame of “we’re making fun of HB7, back me up!!” and you shit on her frame and said “no, HB7’s frame is correct.” So of course she has to fight that and try to get you to cave:

    “And the dyke is like ‘noooo, she just said it in such a dramatic way.’”

    She’s probably pretty aggressive personality-wise and used to people caving to her frame. So she’s like “c’mon, agree with me damn you!! you’re supposed to agree with me I’m the queen of the universe and you’re just some boy!!”

    But instead:

    “And I just put my hand in front of her face”

    Fucking LOL. I bet if you could have seen her face behind your hand it would’ve been the funniest thing in the world.

    “and looked at the HB 7.”

    Solid. You’re good at this “showing intent” thing, where you cut from joking around (spiking their Buying Temperature) to “here’s a moment of realness. I want you.” etc. This kind of thing will often freeze girls in their tracks like a deer in headlights.

    “They were fucking talking in alphabetical order, for sure, and your friend is a huge fucking hater. Deal with it.”

    Like a BOSS. Understand that this Dyke chick probably has these girls and random guys all cave to her frame all the time, and you just stomped on her frame and laid out how shit is gonna’ work. You are the dominant authority figure of this interaction. That shit is SUPER Attractive.

    Bringing it back to your height, remember how I said that being tall is just a quick indicator of “this guy is probably dominant and authoritative and can protect me and handle his shit”…it’s not that the height itself is attractive, it’s what that height represents to her, the same way we don’t find a tight dress itself attractive if it’s just laying on the floor, it’s when it’s on her body and showing off “this is a sexually attractive woman” that we’re attracted. Put that same dress on a fatty uggo and we’re not attracted so the dress itself has no magic powers.

    So what you just did here, was demonstrate the same things that they expect tall guys to demonstrate. You dominated, were authoritative, held your frame, and showed the HB7 who was about to be made fun of by her friend that you can protect her and handle any shit the world throws at her. All the same things she expects a tall guy to be able to do based on his height…you’ve demonstrated through your personality.

    “The HB 7’s mouth drops”

    She was probably staring at you with giant wide anime-eyes as it dropped lol We call this the “Doggy dinner-bowl look” (DDB), like a dog looking up at it’s owner as it brings food to pour into it’s bowl, like it’s owner is the most special wonderful amazing magnificent thing its ever seen in it’s LIFE lol This means you have massive Attraction, and usually happens after you “fry her circuits” by spiking her Buying Temperature way up which is what you did here by obliterating the Dyke’s tests lol

    Of course, that comes with reprocussions ;)

    “and the dyke starts to tag-team me with the other ‘questionable’ girl.”

    lol often the dynamic at this point is like, you can be staring your HB7 down hardcore looking into her DDB eyes and for her the entire world fades into the background and the Dyke and her friend are just yip-yapping at you, trying to get your attention back like a child tugging at your pant-leg and if you just keep staring at your HB7 unphased by the Dyke and friend, it just builds massive Attraction.

    If you started responding to the Dyke and friend and falling into their frame explaining yourself like they were like “fuck you, you’re short you can’t put your hand in my face like that!!” and you got all “whatever fuck you I’m short but you’re ugly, I’ll do what I want” “you’re an asshole” “well fuck you!”, you would have completely lost all the attraction the HB7 had at this point for you because that would have been incongruent with the badass Boss display you just put on. But instead:

    “My response was almost instinctive, I just pretended not to hear them and danced a little in place, swirling around my cup of wine.”

    You did great here.
    Like I say, staring her down would be flawless, but this was solid, and waaaay better than engaging the Dyke and falling into her frame.

    “I felt something I’d never felt in a social interaction — domination. They were insulting me, but there was something different in it — they were supplicating.”
    :) Pretty different feeling than when that girl on the dance floor sneered at you hey? Imagine how this moment looked to anyone in the room watching (and people do watch lol especially girls)…you’ve got 2 girls begging for your approval, and 2 girls laughing and eye-fucking you and probably girl-coding eachother (ie – looking into eachother’s eyes subtly communicating to eachother, learn to watch for this and read it lol) about how awesome you are, and the whole time you’re just standing there like a boss dominating them all, ignoring the supplicating girls and defending your HB7 from them.

    Like, what a fucking scene lol You’re now the guy who’s making girls react to him, instead of the guy reacting to the girls around him. It’s a difficult nuance to explain, but that feeling you felt is the result of it and you can probably FEEL how Attractive that must be to a woman who wants a dominant alpha male.

    Okay a lot of little things are about to happen in this last bit of the interaction and I’ll break them down bit by bit…you’ll find it’s kind of like a fight where it all happens quick and you look back on it and you’re like “wow that escalated fast” when you take it apart. As you gain competance, like becoming a good fighter, time starts to slow down in the moment and you can see the guy’s punch coming in slow motion…it’s the same thing with social dynamics, you feel 10 steps ahead of everyone when you’re good.

    “HB 7 and my original ‘don’t know your name’ friend start laughing.”

    They both want to fuck you btw lol CrushGirl wasn’t super attracted before, but you pinged on her radar, and rocked all of this, and now she can tell HB7 is into you because girls can sense other girls’ Buying Temperature so now you’ve got social proof, after doing all that boss shit, and now she’s attracted to you too.

    “Then, the HB 7 suddenly steps closer and is like ‘can I have your number?'”

    Have you grown 2 feet taller since that HB6 on the dance floor a few weeks back sneered at you? OR, have you started learning to express yourself and socially dominate your interactions with women? :)

    “No bullshit here, and I saw — I felt! — the attraction radiating from her toward me.”

    lol You weren’t imagining it. Logically based on the stuff you’ve described, it makes perfect consistent sense in terms of PUA principles.

    “I blinked, and before I could say even one word,”

    lol this’ll happen a lot. You’ll hit some kind of unexpected success that’ll blind-side you and you’ll often lose the girl because you freeze in a moment of “holy shit did that just happen?? what do I–oops moment is over” :) It’s that same feeling as if you were trapped in a dark cave and then crawled through a dark little doorway in it and bam, there’s this huge beautiful sunny beach on the other side and you’re just like “…woah…”

    As you experience more and more of these situations, you’ll get used to them and expect them and be ready to pounce. It’s why really pro guys can escalate so fast, they’re used to it…but even then, a really pro guy who’s banged a thousand girls in bed will probably still be mind-blown by his first bathroom blowjob or threesome etc. There’s always new experiences out there. :)

    “my original friend pushes her more toward me and is like ‘yeah, get each other’s info…get married…go for it.’ ”

    lol because she’s jealous now. :) She’s trying to AMOG you a little bit and fuck it up with the “get married, go for it!” bit. Like with a dude and a girl I’ll tell him “oh ya, this guy’s perfect for you, you guys should fuck right now there’s a bathroom over there, you guys are perfect together” etc. and it’s a way of sabotaging things by escalating them too fast lol

    It’s basically a big shit-test and you just ignore it and focus on your goal, getting your girl’s number.

    “I managed to get her number”

    Props! Not sure if it’ll flake. It’s hard to tell in these situations because for all you know her Dyke friend and your CrushGirl sabotaged you once they all left the party…like if Dyke was pissed or CrushGirl was jealous enough she could just talk smack about you until HB7 would feel too socially judged by her peer group if she dared fuck you.

    “but got almost no interaction with her after that…her friends like, swooped in on her, surrounding her like a cockblocking wall. They left 10 minutes later to find a better party.”

    lol ya, this is why we try to isolate the girl (usually at that DDB stage). If you can get her alone, you can escalate it and probably fuck her that night, but when there’s all these other obstacles around you can lose a perfectly “on” lay and it’s pretty frustrating. :)

    “So yeah…what do we make of that?”

    You did a lot better than you realize lol. Again I don’t know if she’ll flake or not, you left an amazing impression on her but a lot can happen between getting the number and meeting up again. This is why we like to go for the lay and consider the phone number a fallback plan “if we HAVE to”…but even then we try to use getting the number to set up a Time Bridge (Mystery Method stuff here) where instead of “give me your number” it’s “give me your number and I’ll take you to that place with the thing we talked about”.

    “I’m pretty sure I did like most everything wrong and caught a spot of luck”

    lol you did great.

    I would txt her and try to set up an isolated Day 2, VS “my buddies and I will be at Club Blah on Friday, you should come out” because her friends and your friends will all cockblock you guys. So shoot for like, drinks and throwing darts at a quiet pub somewhere, or inviting her along to some kind of hobby you have, etc. You don’t have to be totally alone, you can be in a crowded environment, but just make sure that IN that environment, you and her don’t know anyone (or at least SHE doesn’t know anyone and you only know people who will make you look good and give you props and help you, not AMOG/cockblock you). Then you can build comfort/rapport since you’ve already got Attraction and escalate to the lay.

    You might still fuck it up, remember we’re setting the frame that you don’t fully expect to get laid till spring or summer here, you’re still learning. So don’t beat yourself if you do fuck it up…but you should absolutely definitely txt her and TRY to push for a Day 2.

    Immoralgables compiled some texting stuff here: – Give that a read if you have time, but the jist of what you want to do is spike her Buying Temperature through flirting/teasing via txt, then when you know she’s in a good mood from that, push for the Day 2 and get her to agree to it solidly (if she’s wishy-washy, pull the offer away or flake on her and try again next week).

    I like to get them to a quiet pub near my place early, like 6 or 7, where I know we won’t run into anyone we know, and pitch it like “then if you turn out to be crazy, it’s early enough that I can sneak out the pub’s bathroom window and meet up with my friends while you ask the waiter to check on me lol” (as if you’re still qualifying her and not sure about her). Then when you guys meet up, flirt and tease, build comfort/rapport, escalate, and take her back to your place (“As much as I like paying $10 for a rye and coke, I have a bottle of wine at my place just up the street. Let’s go there and drink instead.”) and stay in and fuck all night. :)

    “Next situation:”

    This one will be fun. lol

    “and I’m like ‘who the FUCK is out here?’”

    lol nothing wrong with making an entrance. Especially if you’re feeling good and dominant and like you own the party. Stiffler’s introductions in the American Pie movies are great examples of this, where the camera follows him just dominating the room. Some people think he’s awesome, some think he’s an asshole, but everyone is reacting to him and every girl watching the movie thinks “I would so fuck that guy”.

    “-Everyone- but her seems unmoved by my entrance, but she laughs.”

    lol this is fine. She’s a girl, she recognizes unstifled behavior which signifies confidence etc. so you stand out on her radar. When Mystery walks into the room every guy thinks “what a tool” and ignores him, and even a lot of average girls think that he’s just some weirdo, but the hot peacocked girls go “hey THIS is a guy who has confidence!” and smile.

    Your girl is only an HB6 and all that, but remember that there’s your rating of her, other guy’s rating of her, her OWN rating of her, and her rating in that moment in that environment. So a cocky bitchy Vegas 6 in some podunk small town pub things she’s an HB10 and you have to treat her as such and Neg the fuck out of her. But an innocent humble shy small-town 10 in a high-end Vegas nightclub surrounded by Playboy looking chicks might feel like she’s an HB6 compared to them, so you’d have to treat her as such and not be Negging her. This is calibration that you’ll learn as you meet more and more women in different environments with different personality types.

    “My friend is like ‘hey that’s a nice sweater, you look really good in it.’”

    Nice! That’s a good friend. An alpha AMOG type might try to tool you in front of girls and those are the guys you’ll often have to start hanging out with less. You should only be surrounded by people who support you and make you feel good about yourself.

    “At this point the HB 6 starts telling me to model the shirt”

    lol it sounds like you’re a decent looking dude like the working out is going good for you and stuff. And you don’t handle this badly here because she gets a chance to cop a feel (lol), but it’s another case of “$50 vs $500″ like earlier.

    Check out John Mayer at 20 seconds into this clip when she asks about his tattoos:

    He instinctively knows this girl thinks he’s attractive, and starts teasing her about it. The “spin me around, you want to spin me around?” thing fries her circuits. Of course once you start spiking her BT, her boyfriend might get jealous lol

    “and you know, I’m like ‘yeah, I guess I can just be a dancing monkey here, screw it.’ So I do it”

    Ya, you always fall into bragging/qualifying your muscles (“traps are too big to be drawn” AMOG comment from before, etc.). In THIS case it’s okay because she’s already attracted to you off your entrance and your friend giving you props on the shirt and whatever else she knows about you, but keep an eye on this in the future because a lot of times hotter girls will dangle an easy hoop/reward in front of you (spin around for me so I can feel you up!) but in jumping through that hoop you’ll lose her attraction.

    Mystery calls this Hoop Theory, where if she sets up a hoop (“model for me!”), you can DO what she wants, BUT you should set your own hoop up for her to jump through first…it can be ANYTHING, something minor like “hold my drink for me.” or something major like “you first, that’s a sexy dress. ;)” If she doesn’t jump through your hoop, you don’t jump through her hoop.

    It’s a way of supplicating for a mutually benefitial reward (she wants to feel you up and you want her to feel you up so it’s win/win) without doing it from a supplicating frame where you can lose attraction. Again in this situ you were okay, but with like an HB9 you can fuck yourself over…I’m just pointing it out because it might be a pattern for you, especially as you continue working out and liking your body more and more.

    “and I notice that she’s touching me a lot,”

    ’cause she wants to booooone you. lol

    “whatever, her bf’s right here, obviously she’s just touchy.”

    You’ll be surprised at 1) how blatantly girls will flirt with you in front of their BFs, and 2) how OBLIVIOUS those BFs will often be TO her flirting.

    I’ve had a LOT of awkward situations in my social circles where my buddy’s GFs/wives will flirt with me hardcore because I’m doing my thing on other girls in the group or bar and they see it and are attracted, and to ME it’s like this blatant flashing neon sign above their head but I look at my buddy and he’s just completely unaware of all the sub-communications going on, and I have to remove myself from the interaction ASAP for the sake of not creating drama in my social circle.

    Make no mistake though, she wants to fuck you. Don’t do it if her BF is your friend though, there are other girls out there. Tons of em. :)
    “asking me to turn around to see if I have the right butt to model the shirt”

    lol because that makes logical sense. This is blatant flirting on her part. I would have a field-day with this if she weren’t my friend’s girlfriend lol :)

    “(she approves)”

    Of course she does. Because she wants to boooooone youuuuu

    “and she’s like ‘still popping that collar eh?'”

    Shit-test. Trying to get you to apologize for who you are or be embarrassed and qualify yourself to her etc.

    “And I’m like, ‘fucking right, you pop the collar when you’re bringing the funk.'”

    Handled like a boss lol Objectively someone might read this and be like “bringing the funk?? who the fuck says that, bro that’s lame don’t say that girls will think you’re lame” but the reality is that you can say whatever you want when you’re feeling in state and confident, even if it doesn’t make sense or is dorky, and the girl, because she’s attracted, will think it’s awesome.

    It’s that saying of “I don’t do it because it’s cool, it’s cool because I do it.” :)

    “She responds ‘…it’s a real short funk, eh?’”

    Shit-test lol She’s trying to throw herself out of state because she’s attracted to you and sub-consciously knows she wants to fuck you and her Anti-Slut Defense is fucking with her because your friend is her boyfriend so she’s not SUPPOSED to be attracted.

    So a shit-test is to make sure you’re congruent, but the reason they want to find out if you’re congruent is because they want to fuck you…so they’re like a car rolling down a hill toward a wall, they start pumping the brakes trying to stop the car. If you fail the shit-test they go “whew!! I knew it, he’s not that confident/cool/etc., now I can be unattracted ahhhh” which is why if you fail a shit-test, the attraction dies FAST as fuck usually and ONE failed shit-test can bomb an entire sarge even at the last second in the bedroom with the really hot girls.

    BUT…if you PASS the shit-tests, then the girl realizes as she jams on the brakes that the brake-lines have been cut and oh shit she can’t stop the car and her emotions spike through the roof. She jams the brakes again, over and over, sometimes just a few times, sometimes all the way till your dick is in her, but she keeps trying to throw herself out of state to not fuck you and it doesn’t work lol

    You passed her collar shit-test, so now she tries a height shit-test. You’ll notice that a lot of girls won’t shit-test you on your height right away, they’ll try shit-testing you on looking gay or popping your collar or whatever, and it’s when you don’t react to THAT that they step it up and start targeting your height because they think “shit, I can’t get to him…but he’s short, and short guys are always insecure, so I’m gonna’ drop the big nuke and shit-test him about his height! HAH!!”

    You’ll also notice that the more they think a shit-test SHOULD get you to react, and you pass it smoothly, the MORE their attraction will spike, because you’re handling a tougher shit-test.

    …and if you happen to handle it like THIS:

    “So I just stop and look straight at her ‘I will FUCK the shit out of you.’”

    lololololol I literally snorted my drink out my nose reading that. That was so unexpected, but absolutely perfect.

    Again, I don’t think you consciously knew what you were doing but basically you demonstrated the behavior of a guy who saw “this girl wants me, she’s trying to tease me but I can tell she wants to fuck me, because all girls want to fuck me, and I’m going to escalate on her now” which is what a Natural high-value player type does…he senses when she’s attracted and considers all her tests as just flirting and confidently plows through and escalates and assumes attraction.

    Now as a short guy especially, this is great, because some girls will label you as asexual the way they do with asians etc. where it’s like, they just don’t see you as someone they could fuck. So what you’re doing here is smashing her in the face with “I’m a sexual guy, sure I’m short but I fuck like a goddamn lion” and you get the DDB wide eyed look as she creams herself because you’ve taken yourself out of the asexual non-threat category/label and put yourself into the “if you’re around me, I’m going to fuck the shit out of you” category that’s attractive.

    The irony is probably now in the future a chick will say “you’re short” and you’ll go “I’ll fuck the shit out of you” hoping to get the same reaction and it’ll bomb completely because you’ll be doing it with outcome dependance instead of this “what’s going to happen, someone yell at me for saying something offensive? Who gives a shit.” vibe you had here lol This happens to us all, but you’re game will evolve and you’ll come up with new ways to destroy this shit-test that get the same result, no worries. :)

    “Her eyes widen”

    DDB look.

    “and she just laughs it off”

    You’ve fried her circuits here, she doesn’t know what to do…deer in the head-lights style. If you walked away right now or someone else came over or a friend took her to the bathroom, her BT would settle down and she might even give you the cold shoulder later or feel like you think she’s a slut or something and start drama.

    Or if you got into a rational discussion with her about how she wants to fuck you, that could fuck it up too because then you’re forcing her to acknowledge that she’s a slut which triggers her ASD etc.

    “then I start dancing — she starts dancing with me. FYI — totally not the kind of dancing bf’s are okay with.”

    But because you just drop the subject and let it hang in the air and just start dancing, she stops talking too, and from here it’s all physical.

    You could take her into the bathroom right now and fuck her. Like, this is that moment. All you’d have to do is say “come with me.” take her by the hand and lead her to the bathroom (ie – isolate her), pin her against the wall and make out, and put her hand on your cock over your pants and it’d snowball from there.

    Keep in mind that that was just in that moment. If you run into her today, you’ll be starting over back at square one, with at best a little attraction but often no attraction or even ANTI-attraction because she feels slutty for the thoughts she was thinking while you danced (or her BF chewed her out at home after etc.) lol So you can’t just run into her on the street and pull her into a bathroom…this was an eclipse of the moon lined up perfectly for a moment, an open window that’s shut now.

    At the same time, the next time she gets drunk and you’re around and you do some alpha badass shit around her and she falls back into this feeling again, and you guys have isolation, she’ll probably get flirty again and you could probably escalate it to fuck her if you played it right.

    THAT SAID…I don’t think you should try to fuck her, since she’s your buddy’s GF and all and it will fuck your social circle up hardcore drama-wise and right now you need good friends and party invites and all that shit more than you need one lay followed by a bunch of drama, fighting, and being ostracized from your social circles.

    But it’s important that you know that that moment was there 100%. Again you didn’t grow 2 feet taller, you just presented yourself better and demonstrated some alpha shit.

    “And you know, he laughs — she backs off and is like ‘oooooh, it’s just the shirt, can’t resist it. It’s a great shirt.’”

    this is Hypergamy, rationalization hamster, avoiding responsibility for her actions, etc. in action. :)

    Now I’m starting to think something is happening…”

    For the record, I’d have called her wanting to fuck you back at modelling your ass in the shirt…possibly even before that at the modelling it in general. Like, that’s where guys like myself and my Natural buddies would place the “she wants to fuck” flag in this interaction and where a light would flick on in our heads and put her on our radar of wanting to fuck us. This comes in time with reference experiences.

    “So she looks over at me and is like”

    This is the same as CrushGirl re-opening you. You’re on her radar, intrigued her, and she wants to interact more and scratch that itch.

    “So where’s your girlfriend?”

    Huuuuuuuuuuuge ioi. This is how girls test the water to see if you’re taken or not when they want to fuck you. They’ll say “my friend wants to know if you’re single” or “where’s your girlfriend” or “your girlfriend is a lucky girl” etc. where they give you the chance to say “oh I don’t have one.”

    There’s a lot you can respond here depending on your personality and what you want out of the interaction. Like if I want her to set me up with her friend I’ll say “oh we broke up recently, I’m pretty out of it now…your friend is super cute though, but I think I should just take a break from dating, you know?” and she’ll insist on introducing me to her. Or if I want to fuck her and know she has a BF I’ll say “Don’t have one, I don’t do the relationship thing…it makes me feel trapped, like sometimes you meet someone and you just want to see where it goes but most people will judge you for it because you’re dating someone. Personally I think people are too hung up about sex, sometimes it’s just fun to fuck around with no strings attached…” and set the framework where she can start rationalizing to herself that it’s okay for us to fuck, and then we can bang later behind her BFs back.

    Again I don’t recommend that for you lol I wouldn’t do it at your stage where you need social circles, but even now I wouldn’t do it if I knew the BF let alone if I was friends with him. Personal code and all, but decide for yourself what’s important to you since that’s the whole theme of all this. :)

    “Don’t have one.”

    Nice and simple. You can say pretty much anything here, it’s again the “$50 vs $500″ thing where if you WANTED to, you could use this as a foothold to escalate the interaction toward a specific goal, but this is a solid neutral “let’s just see where this chick takes this because I’m intrigued by all this shit tonight” response where no one could be like “dude quit flirting with my girl!”

    “Oh yeah, you’re a pretty hot guy…”

    Indicator of Interest, obviously.

    “are you gay?”

    This could be a shit-test, BUT possibly not. You’d have to figure it out from reading her vibe and calibrating which it is.

    It’s either:

    1) Again, she’s attracted, she knows it, she knows she’s making a fool of herself and her ASD is shouting at her “keep it in your pants woman!!! we can’t fuck this guy!!! even tho omg we want to!!!” So she’s trying to throw herself out of state by shit-testing you hoping you’ll fail. This is usually early in the interaction or from dudes or from girls being bitchy (Dyke from before).

    or 2) Later in the sarge, like this, when Attraction is already built up, it’s an actual question on her part. Like she thinks you’re so magnificent that she’s like “…how is he single?? How has no girl swept him up??”

    I would suspect it’s actually number 2, not 1, because you two are past the “teasing game” stage and now she’s just got attraction and horniness swirling aroud in her mind…but again, you’d have to judge based on whether you feel she was asking sincerely/wonderously or like she was teasing you.

    “See, in my mind I’m like ‘why the FUCK are people saying I’m gay?! Goddammit!’”

    lol :)

    “But I have enough sense to try and process the whole message.”

    Good. This’ll get easier in time.

    “”Are you interested?” is the first thing I can think of. Meh.”

    This is actually really solid. You’re doing the same thing as before with the “fuck the shit out of you” line where you’re just assuming attraction. That’s the behavior of a guy who’s used to women wanting to fuck him, it implies that you have reason to expect girls to want to fuck you, etc.

    You’re not answering her question, you’re not doing what she wants, and you’re escalating through that window of attraction.

    “She laughs, but I just stare at her. Like….just hardcore stare. She looks away.”

    Perfect. You’re not backing down or laughing it off. What you’ve done is sort of a Statement of Intent. Like you’ve let her know “I’m serious. I’m thinking about fucking you, we’re past joking around here.” just by staring her down.

    “If I didn’t have a boyfriend, yeah probably…”

    And there’s your reward for pushing things like you did. You’ve just collected a reference experience where a girl with a BF who’s your friend will admit to you that she’d fuck you if he wasn’t in the picture. Again you didn’t grow 2 feet taller, you’ve just run really solid game.

    Also note that her ASD kicked in here. She still wanted to fuck you, but her ASD went “BOYYYFRIEEEENDDDD!!! Don’t be a sluuuuutttt!!!!” and forced her to snuff her feelings out under the boyfriend comment.

    In these situations we like to handle this stuff ahead of time, like my response above where I talk about sex not being a big deal and relationships being stifling etc. where it plants in her head that I’m not a guy who will judge her for fucking around on her boyfriend…as a result, I tend not to get this kind of ASD or it’s really minimal and I can easily plow through it for the lay. :)

    Again it’s good that you didn’t, because the guy is your friend and it’ll bite you in the ass later. But it’s important that you know this was all happening.

    “Then, I just sense that the moment is right and the frame has shifted.”

    Yup. Now she’s feeling kind of dirty/slutty/ashamed of her feelings and she isn’t sure what you think about her and is probably worried that you might think she’s a slut and all these negative thoughts are looping through her head…remember the balloon expelling all it’s anxiety air?

    “So I grin at her and I’m like… “…hey, it’s okay…I’m gay, remember.”

    Perfect. phwooooosh goes the air out of the anxiety balloon as relief washes over her. This was actually a really socially calibrated move on your part. It’s good that you can “sense the vibe”, that’ll help you a lot in pickup.

    “Instant laugh and her. hand. goes on my thigh (!!!!?!?!?!!!)”

    lol :) Same relief as the girl from before felt where her attraction spikes a bit. With the CrushGirl it was early in the interaction so it wasn’t as massive as with this girl because this girl and you have been through a whole night of sexual tension and adventure together.

    You’ve also demonstrated that understand her feelings, but that you won’t judge her or tell on her. If you had said like “ya, he’s a good guy”, she’d’ve felt worse. If you said “whatever, I’m hotter than him” you’d’ve looked like a jerk. But you basically said “hey, it’s cool to feel how you feel, I won’t judge you for feeling attracted to me ;)” This is the same kind of thing I get with girls with BFs that I hook up with when I disable their ASD about it.

    “along with “…you’re a problem.””

    lol She’d actually still be up for a fuck if you partied together, demonstrated some value, got her alone, and isolated yourselves. Again I don’t think you should do it, but it’s there. This is her saying “god, you turn me on and you’re not doing anything to dry my pussy up…if I hang around you, I’m in serious danger of getting the shit fucked out of me, and I know I SHOULD feel bad about wanting that but fuck, I don’t! You are a problem lol”

    “and then her bf comes back. They leave shortly thereafter.”

    I bet she fucked the shit out of him that night, while thinking of you lol

    And there you go. Good stuff man. Hope this helps connect a bunch of dots for you and you start noticing the consistent patterns (why girls shit-test, how to pass them, why they boost attraction, how social proof and social dominance builds attraction, how girls will try to get you to jump through hoops, etc.).

    You’re doing great, keep it up! :)

First Man Awake

Original Link

via Rational Male

on December 20, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Original Link

“I have to admire the last guy in the clip. I don’t know if it’s a conscious decision or not but when Nosering starts screaming in his face that he’s a rape apologist he just ignores her and asks the policeman if there is somewhere quieter to wait. He doesn’t acknowledge her, he doesn’t validate her screaming, doesn’t give her the time of day at all.”

You guys will laugh at this: that guy’s a PUA lol

his description of the encounter:

Also he’s pretty sure she wanted to fuck him lol:

…well it made ME laugh.πŸ˜€

on December 23, 2012 at 3:18 am
Original Link

“I personally think someone got to Mentu after the vasectomy post and he was forced to shut down UMAN. I mean he yanked it all. Someone had said they found Google Cache of it and YaReally said “Man, let it go. If he wanted it down, he had a reason and respect it. ””

For the record I don’t believe I’ve ever said that. I don’t even really know who Mentu is.

I can’t speak for the Manosphere or MGTOWs but PUAs are prospering in this environment. Everyone hates men unless they’re attracted to them, then we become the exception.

Really the feminists have never solidly targeted PUAs. All they target is the cartoon character twisted strawman version of us that’s so ridiculous we really aren’t concerned.

There are pretty much no discussions at all about the MSM or Jezebel or anyone slandering us on actual PUA boards. And a lot of our shit is still very underground or so niche that it doesn’t seem to hit on their radars.

I mean, they’re STILL talking about Mystery and fuzzy hats. That’s like telling Sony their Walkman from the 80s is lame. It’s like umm okay?

In a way we’re SUCH scum to them that they hate us too much to even really to into depth on us. It would be like saying serial killers are shitty people…like, no duh. So there’s not really a story there. VS look at these average guys who have misogynistic beliefs!! Lets snuff those beliefs out because we can still shame them into behaving, whereas those PUAs are so far gone to the dark side that it’s not even worth the effort.

And that’s just fine for us. We know we’re doing something big. Codifying and teaching game is not something that’s going to go away. A man 50 years from now will be able to find our systems online and start his training. No one can stop PUAs…they know that so they don’t put any REAL effort in trying (beyond the occasional PUAs wear hats and neg girls and definitely don’t get laid what losers), and we know that so we don’t concern ourselves with what the outside media thinks.

Tyler from RSD knows full well that what he teaches would get him ambushed if he accepted an offer to appear on Oprah or some shit. We’re underground out of sight and we jus keep spreading, and we will teach the next generation.

on December 23, 2012 at 3:49 am
Original Link

MRAs explain what’s wrong.

The Manosphere explains why it’s wrong.

PUAs explain how to fix it.

MGTOWs avoid it.

The Epiphany Phase

Original Link

via Rational Male

on December 19, 2012 at 8:03 pm
Original Link

That was fun lol She’s banned me yet again. I wrote a whole rebuttal quoting pualingo for each step of her description of that guy’s pickup an’ everything! πŸ˜₯ I hope you do an article about that whole gongshow.

For the unaware:

Thought Experiment

Original Link

via Heartiste

The Man Who Was . . .
on December 18, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Original Link

I’ve said it before that people tend to use alpha male in two different senses:

1. Sexual attractiveness
2. Social status

The two are obviously related in complex ways. High social status obviously will make you sexually attractive, but pure sexual attractiveness, even from something otherwise revolting, like being a boy band, can give you social status. Or look at PUAs, who can amass a substantial following of men (and women), simply from the ability to get laid.

Our host has tried to dismiss the latter social status sense of alpha,

[Heartiste: I have?]

but it can’t be dismissed because it simply exists.

[High social status is an attractiveness trait in men. Evolution has designed men to pursue it because it enhances their reproductive fitness.]

There really exists a set of traits that people value and admire in men, among which sexual attractiveness is but one, and those males who possesses more of these than others are the alphas in this sense. It really just is what people happen to value and admire. Resisting it is like resisting the sun.*

Our host values sexual attractiveness to the exclusion of just about all else, so he wants to conflate the two meanings, but he’s something of an outlier.

[But see, there’s the rub. We all value sexual attractivenes, even those of us who firmly claim otherwise and point to social stauts cues as proof of their worldview, because those cues are simply tools our DNA uses to get itself copied in the most efficient and maximally advantageous possible way.]

*Please note that while moral worthiness may be something that people admire and value and thus can contribute to social status, there are other traits that contribute to social status which are not at all morally admirable. For example, people admire brutal killers or unscrupulous politicians all the time.

[King A likes to refer to category errors. Well here’s a big category error trad-cons make: the belief that alpha maleness is necessarily admirable maleness. I’ve never claimed so. The long march of civilization seems in part to require a bit of a turning away from the darwinian imperative.]

  • Wolfie65
    on December 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm
    Original Link

    I’d say that in order to be a True Alpha, yoiu need both the sexual attractiveness AND the social status.
    I would classify a high-status guy who isn’t physically attractive to women as a Gamma.
    They still get quality pussy, but always with an agenda.

    • YaReally
      on December 19, 2012 at 7:52 am
      Original Link

      “You idolize good looks because you are bad looking.”

      It’s a very convenient way of excusing himself from putting in the hard work it would take to fix his shit. Like a fat chick who blames an imaginary thyroid or genetics on why she’s fat while she sits there eating donuts and her workout DVDs collect dust. “It’s not my fault, it’s not that I’m a negative person who’s happy wallowing in the victim identity I’ve carved out for myself…it’s that it’s IMPOSSIBLE!”

      “You think that if I could just be good looking I’d be successful. If you took your brain and then transferred into a good looking man’s body, you wouldn’t pick up. ”

      This. In one of his earliest appearances (2 hour audio seminar by Tyler when he was fresh on the scene, it’s super cocky but has solid old-school game info in it), Tyler says “Put me in any one of your bodies, and I’ll pick up, just like I do now.” I’ve spent enough time in the field and seen enough guys who shouldn’t have success having success, to have the same belief.

      This is why I don’t bother trying to help Wolfie. He doesn’t WANT help, he’s perfectly happy playing a victim, just like the fat chick is perfectly happy eating those donuts.

    • YaReally
      on December 20, 2012 at 7:06 am
      Original Link

      Here’s my newbie method, merry Xmas lol:

      “maybe it’s not as harsh out there as I think, but I can’t imagine successful people with friends and experience would want to be friends with someone with none of that.”

      It’s not as harsh as you think it is out there. :)

      Other people don’t logically compare your life resume to see if you’re worth interacting with, all they care about is “do I feel good emotions around this person?” and “do they bring value or are they looking to take value?”

      Value can be making people laugh, smile, cheering them up, complimenting them, helping them with something, helping them relax, etc.

      You’re not shooting for banging 10s on day 1 here, you’re more at the “I like your outfit!” And “excuse me do you know where Blah Bar is? What do you think of it? Cool, where are you guys headed tonight?” level of basically handing out compliments and making small-talk.

      Sure, it doesn’t offer MUCH value, it’s just shooting the shit. So how can we make it seem like more value?

      1) be in a venue where EVERYONE feels nervous and anxious (aka a nightclub)

      And 2) choose people who seem to have low-value lol

      Where do we find this combo? Go to a nightclub and look around, usually along the bars or beside the dance floor. You’ll see a bunch of guys standing around holding a drink not talking, just staring at the girls. They’ll often be solo or in small groups and they look like they’re thinking about talking to girls but they just stand there, occasionally talking to their buddy if they have one. They’ll do this the majority of the night.

      These guys are on Death Row. The club environment has overwhelmed them and they’re shell-shocked. They want to socialize but they’re scared as fuck, the same way you are.

      So how can you offer these guys value? Right now they’re nervous and scared to approach or talk to strangers…so you can offer value by chatting them up. That makes them go “oh thank god someone is talking to me!!” and you’ll relieve that tension/fear they have because you’re taking the initiative and letting them know hey, it’s cool to talk to people. They’ll be friendly because you’re rescuing them from the shell-shocked state they were in so they’re GRATEFUL that you started a conversation.

      These guys aren’t going to be rockstar player badasses with tons of friends and lots going for them, but they’re also not always losers, often they’re nice/friendly guys who are just shy with socializing and just froze up and are in panic mode and waiting till they get drunker and can relax in that environment.

      So the value you’re offering is helping them get more social/talkative, which, in a nightclub enviro full of hotties, is HUGE value because if you help them loosen up who knows maybe they’ll talk to a girl and take her home! How much more value could you GIVE someone, you know?

      To not look gay (lol) I usually open talking about the girls. Like I’ll stand near these guys being a part of Death Row myself, and when I see one of them check out a hot girl that walks past I’ll check her out too and then make eyes with him and be like “shit, cheers to THAT girl hey? lol” and hold my beer up for them to cheers “is this place always this good?”. From there if the guy seems friendly I’ll stick to girl talk but share some info about me like “man, we don’t have girls like that back home. I just moved here and some girls on the street told me this place has a bunch of drunk sluts so I figured hey, that’s where I want to go tonight! lol”. Note that I’m setting up easy conversation topics with this, because the guy can ask “oh where are you from?” Or “how do you like the city?” Etc cause remember he’s feeling nervous at the club too…so if you lob him easy conversation topics he can keep the convo going with you.

      Also note how positive a conversation that is. It’s complimenting that girl, complimenting the bar, saying where you’re from isn’t as good, it’s implying you talked to some girls on the street, it’s got some humor to make them laugh. Combined with the value of loosening them up, the end result is they’re going to think “this person gives me good emotions and value!”

      Now this isn’t gonna get you laid, and sometimes these guys are awkward/lame. Hell sometimes it’s their first night in the bar (I love that, I tell them about all the sketchy shit I’ve seen lol).

      BUT, you CAN meet some nice dudes and build some small friendships. Exchange names and now when you see them at the bar again in the future you can say hi. Hell they may even be with girls and introduce you!

      The gold mine is the totally solo guy. This guy is scared as fuck because he’s basically doing what you’re doing. Most of my best wingmen and longest friendships have been with these guys. After the small-talk up above I’ll say something like “ya I’ve never really been here but no one wanted to come out tonight so I figured I’d come out by myself but I’m nervous as fuck!! lol the girls here are so hot I don’t even know what to say to them.”

      Now you’re relating to him and sharing some vulnerabilities so he starts feeling like he knows you. Plus it lets him open up about how nervous HE is. From there you can keep eachother company or try to encourage eachother to approach girls. Ideally you approach first (you’ll probably get shot down, THAT’S OKAY!! lol), just as soon as a girl walks by go “cheers!” and hold your beer out to her. She’ll probably just cheers, give a puzzled look, and walk away…but that’s more than your new buddy has done so while you laugh to him about “man I think she hated me lol” he’s going to go “wow this guy actually talked to a girl!! He’s way higher-value than me!” and from there you’ll probably both start talking to girls or at least talking to eachother ABOUT talking to girls which at this stage of your social life is just fine and dandy. You’re just socializing and making friends.

      The nice thing about these guys is you know if they came out to the bar, they’re bar type people so if you two are still both solo at the end of the night you can say “this was fun we should creep girls out again sometime, you got a cell number?” and boom, you’ve got a wingman/friend who likes to go to the bars and since you both to solo you’re offering value to him because now he has a friend to go to the bars with. You’ve created a win/win situation for both of you.

      When you have a few of these guys, you invite them all out to the same bar on the same night or over for pre-drinks before the bar and introduce them all to eachother. Now you have a little social circle you can build up from. :) It’s not going to be the highest value social circle where girls are lining up to fuck you all, but you can work your way up over time from there and build more social circles with cooler people and merge circles etc.

      So there you go, give it a try. Like I say my best bar-buddies have come from this method over the years. And if I moved to a new city or was in a new enviro I would do this exact same thing because it’s simple and pretty much can’t go wrong.

      Notice that nowhere in that conversation example did I have to admit I have no job or no friends or no social life etc. all that guy knows about me is “this guy is friendly, slightly less shy than me, makes me feel good emotions, and is offering me value!”

      “You’ve said in the past that you started from nothing as well, did you ever deal with anything like this when you first started out”

      Oh ya. Lots. See my problem was that on top of not knowing how to socialize and being scared to talk to strangers and being overwhelmed by the club environment, I had been a computer nerd hermit most of my life so I hadn’t DONE anything, so I had no stories to tell or things to share because my life was boring as fuck.

      What I did was tell strangers stories my friends growing up told me about stuff THEY did, except pretend it happened to me lol if you’ve never had a friend who’s told you funny stories about their life, make shit up or exaggerate things that COULD’VE happened to you. That’s what early PUAs did with routines, it was actually similar to how a comedian looks at their day to day life and thinks “hmm what funny or weird or awkward things have happened to me this week?” and writes them down and practices how to tell them in front of a mirror. In fact a book/website/YouTube video on “how do I tell stories” or on comedy writing ideas might help you out a lot so Google for some of that shit. When you have a story make sure to tell it in every interaction so you get better at telling it, etc.

      What happens is over time you start to collect new stories of fun/weird/awkward stuff that actually HAS happened to you. So you say “cheers!” to a girl and she goes “fuck off!!!!!” and barrels past you. Well that’s a story. “Man the girls here are so friendly. I was at a bar last week and said cheers to a girl and she shouted “fuck off!!!!!” and literally shoved me into my friends! I don’t know if she was hammered or having a bad day but wow I’m so glad you guys are friendlier lol”. Hell, steal that story I just wrote right there lol that just happened to you last weekend! Boom your first story! lol

      It took me a solid 2 or 3 months before I started having interesting stories of my own to tell. 6 months in probably 60% of my stores were my own real ones that happened to me. By a year in it was 100% my own stuff because in a year of going out and socializing I had collected a bunch of random adventures and stories. Now years later I have stories of shit that’s happened to me that people can’t even believe lol

      Hope this helps! This is my method of getting started in new cities and getting warmed up in clubs when I’m feeling shy. I’ve actually gained a few super close friends from it where we hang out outside the bar and I’ve been invited to their family dinners and we play Xbox and shit.

      Also here’s a fuckton of stuff by Style you can watch over the Xmas holidays. I recommend him because for you Mystery’s stuff is going to just cloud your head with “thinking too much” and RSD/Tyler’s stuff is too vague (“say anything you want!”) to be useful to you right now, and both methods are too “getting pussy” focused. Style is sort of a halfway point, he runs similar game to Mystery but he’s a bit more social, casual and friendly which is good for making friends. Once you’ve made some friends you can start worrying about actually seducing girls. :)

      Here’s DVD 1, enjoy and good luck. Let us know how it goes. If you blow thru this fast, Google “juggler method”, which is based around building comfort/rapport with people and will help you build a deeper connection with your social circle of misfits lol:

      Make 2013 the year you start getting this shit handled. :)

on December 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Original Link

hmmm, so my options are:

1) Bang a wife who, after birthing my kid, could decide to stay fat and let herself go while society supports her, and when I encourage her to get back in shape since as a fatty fat she doesn’t want to fuck anymore and I’m legally required to only fuck her for the rest of my life, and, when she realizes I’m not satisfied, decides to get a divorce, take half my shit, and I get to see my kid on the weekends if I’m lucky, while paying out my ass for her to get her hair done to fuck some new guy who ends up getting to spend more time raising my kid than I do, IF she can find a new guy, and if she can’t my kid is basically being raised by a single mother who’s too irresponsible to even take care of herself.

2) Have a dozen kids, have a shit-load of sex with a bunch of different women, keep all my money and free time.

Why would you choose number 1 again? Because for a 30 second orgasm you felt “cool”? Sounds like a lot of risk to me. Oh, wait, I forgot, you’re going to find the magical NAWALT girl, there are so MANY of those running around society today, I can’t surf the net without running into articles by men on how wonderful and high quality women are these days thanks to feminism lol

brb not going to use condoms anymore because the most important thing in the world is validating my self-worth through raw-dogging it with women like a badass alpha male, which is totally worth picking up a bunch of STDs and spending a fortune raising an unplanned kid with some random chick while the cysts on my dick explode every few months. Solid long-term logic goin’ on here lol

This is just a bigger version of “REAL MEN DON’T PEE SITTING DOWN, SO YOU BETTER ALWAYS STAND OR YOU’RE NOT A REAL MAN!!!!” Like Tyler says “Even if you could live up to everyone else’s idea of who you should be, guess what, you’re still a dumb chode who spends his day trying to live up to other people’s standards.”

  • corvinus
    on December 18, 2012 at 5:12 pm
    Original Link

    1) is a beta route, 2) is an alpha route.


    If an alpha went the 1) route, he shouldn’t get divorced or suffer a fat wife.

    If a beta went the 2) route, he’d never get laid, or only with mediocre women.

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm
      Original Link

      “If an alpha went the 1) route, he shouldn’t get divorced or suffer a fat wife.”

      You can’t punish a woman for shitty behavior when you’ve legally locked yourself into a contract where she holds all the power so you’ve given her free reign to do whatever she wants. Have you really never seen a guy who was an alpha badass, 10+ years into a marriage, stuck with a gross slob? Seriously? An alpha guy has a better chance of avoiding that, but is that really a game of Russian Roulette you want to take so you can “feel like an alpha” for a 30 second orgasm?

      I thought it was women that made all their decisions based on their emotions and “feeling good”, and men made their decisions based on actual logic, stats, numbers, etc. When did these roles reverse? I missed the memo lol

  • Dr. Zoidberg
    on December 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm
    Original Link

    It’s called a prenup. If you are as alpha as you say you are, you should have no problem getting your future wife to sign one. Put in a clause that weight gain is an irreconcilable difference and ground for divorce.

    The law and legal system all you big bad alpha dogs are so afraid of is easily beaten if you have half a brain and cash for a lawyer.

    [Heartiste: Even ironclad prenups can be shredded by a half-competent divorce lawyer. The divorce industrial complex is simply too heavily weighted against the interests of men. Although I do approve of your idea to include a weight-gain clause, just to see the look on the prospective wife’s face.]

    • YaReally
      on December 19, 2012 at 5:57 pm
      Original Link

      “The law and legal system all you big bad alpha dogs are so afraid of is easily beaten if you have half a brain and cash for a lawyer.”

      We have enough of a brain to Google how iron-clad prenups really are. Turns out the answer is NOT FUCKING VERY. lol But I, too, approve of the weight-gain clause.

Dr Caveman
on December 18, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Original Link

I have been a sperm donor for two years now and will keep doing it. I have several reasons for this:
– avoid being trapped in the wife-house-child cycle, that has a high probability of extrapolating into divorce-child support
– not having to stay with the same woman for ages. I like the freedom to be able to walk away. If I would have kids, that would no longer be an option
– I don’t care that donor children can track you down once they are 18. Actually, it would be fun to meet them. I’ll be able to show them my lifestyle, with more money and freedom and less fat old wives than what they are used to. If i get lucky one of my donor sons will also become a donor, perpetuating the cycle and leaving me with a genetic footprint that you can not achieve in a monogamous relationship (excluding religions where each generation spawns 10+ kids)
– When my donor kids track be down, I will be able to give them the red pill at the right age/state of mind
– All of the above does not prevent me from getting married and hand raising some spawn if I feel like it. The choice presented in the article is a false dichotomy as you can actually have your cake and eat it too.

As a donor, I can lean back comfortable and know that dedicated people, willing to jump through a lot of hoops just to have a child, are raising my offspring. They will probably do an excellent job.

  • YaReally
    on December 19, 2012 at 6:26 am
    Original Link

    All of this.

    I haven’t actually been a donor yet, but this aligns with my thoughts on it and this article/comments section just confirms that it sounds like a solid plan since the other side’s arguments are basically “but dude-bro don’t you want me to not think you’re a pussy bro????” which is pretty much on the same level as the “man up” articles the MSM crowd has been throwing at us. “Man up bro you don’t want me to think you’re a pussy do you??”

    Lets see some logical rational stats/math/etc on why A is better than B beyond “but…FEELINGS!!!!” I feel like eating a giant box of donuts for dinner but that doesn’t make it a smart decision.

    The fact that the people raising my kid would want it is a big one. Logically if some chick I get preggers decides to smoke/drink behind my back while she’s pregnant (I actually saw an article about this on Jezzie where a bunch of women in the comments were like “a few drinks is okay! Grrrl power!” and shit) and my kid pops out all fucked up, or she ends up being a shitty lazy mom who’s basically going to fuck my kid up, but I’m married to her, I’m stuck with a retarded kid and a fat shitty wife in a legal arrangement where I’m forced to stick around.

    At least people looking for donors legit want a kid, and if they fuck him up, I don’t have to deal with the consequences of that (paying for special needs schools and raising him while hoping he doesn’t shoot up a school)…plus I have 81 more YaReallys out there that might turn out better.

    I’m just looking at this logically lol you guys do what you want. I can’t convince my blue pill friends that marriage isn’t a logical deal for men to enter either “because LOVE!!!!”…I hope you get one of the empty chambers on the Russian Roulette gun and everything works out for you, but I don’t think I’ll play that game with my life all the same, thanks!

on December 18, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Original Link

Agree with your post, CH, with one modifier. Leaving one’s legacy as a man (disclaimer: not a personal goal) involves, I think, two different aspects: 1) genetic legacy, 2) personal legacy. The personal legacy can only be transmitted through raising one’s offspring and imprinting thereupon one’s life’s lessons and experience. For that reason, your binary scenario might be well served to include a third option of the man who pumps out many kids with one or several women, and then actually raises them in order to increase the probability of achieving solid personal imprint on the kids. It’s obvious watching my friends with children that this is a huge reason that they love their kids and are willing to suffer the negatives of marriage. Those friends range from upper betas to full blown alphas. Again, not my view, but also, it seems, not a minority view.

  • YaReally
    on December 19, 2012 at 7:45 am
    Original Link

    “The personal legacy can only be transmitted through raising one’s offspring and imprinting thereupon one’s life’s lessons and experience.”

    I actually consider the raising/teaching of a kid to be more important than just dumping my genes in a vag somewhere. From the PUA community I’ve seen and been a part of, time and time again, helping guys fix themselves up and setting them on a path where their lives become awesome.

    But 1) I don’t want to raise a kid for a looooong time and 2) society has made doing this without tying yourself down to one woman for the rest of your life not impossible, but a lot more trouble than I feel like it’s worth right now. In that regard something like a Big Brother program is actually appealing, but as the MRA guys know, the shit I would teach the kid, if whoever runs Big Brother found out, would be considered crazy MRA brainwashing and the PUA stuff, regardless of it’s actual content, would sound to feminist-types like I was teaching him to be a rapist lol Plus these days we live in a culture where every man who willingly spends time around young males is viewed as a pedophile So I know that would all blow up in my face lol

    This is part of why I help out other guys online (here and on PUA boards), even if it’s all annonymous. I wrote up some Field Report analyses for Scray here this week. It’s an hour or so of my time and not a big deal to me because I like discussing/teaching guys about social dynamics so I actually consider posting here part of my hobby-time. And maybe he’s going to decide to stop going out tomorrow and just become a hermit recluse and end up as the next King A.

    But maybe he’s going to read that shit I wrote and go “wow, I think I’m starting to understand this, and I like that it makes sense, so I’m excited to go out and keep gaining experience and learning to improve this skill-set because I don’t feel like I’m clutching at random straws with no idea what I’m doing anymore!” and start himself down a path where, 5 years from now when he’s gone on to do whatever he does with his life, he can’t wipe the grin off his face because his life has turned into something he couldn’t even IMAGINE it could turn into when he was writing those Field Reports and he’ll think back and go “Man, I’m sure glad I ran into that YaReally fellow”. I know this is possible because I did it with my own life and I’ve watched other guys achieving it alongside me.

    Sure, I haven’t popped out a kid myself yet. But I know that over the years I’ve helped other men achieve happiness, satisfaction, confidence, a love for women, and a generally positive outlook on life, and those men will pop out kids that they pass this stuff on to if I don’t.

    Same time I totally admit there’s a weirdly illogical fear of dying without my genes getting passed on that is totally 100% instinctual because I have absolutely no logical reasons for it but it makes me wince to think I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and my genes would stop here. So in a way donating to a sperm back is more of a fail-safe back-up to pass on my genes, rather than a high priority goal.

    It’s not an issue of not being ABLE to get a chick preggers. Like wtf line of thinking is that, that us “metrosexual butterfly chasers” CAN’T just not put a little piece of rubber on with one of the girls we’re fucking? lol Hell, even if I was on my death-bed tomorrow I’d probably pull off banging my nurse.

    It’s more a matter of “what’s the smartest method to go about reproducing and raising the next generation of men, that doesn’t involve fucking myself in the face with a $30,000 wedding or child-support after a divorce?” lol If I found out I had cancer and only had a year to live I would go raw-dog it with a ton of chicks, but if I’m going to live to be Greg’s age, there are long-term consequences of popping out babies to consider.

    • YaReally
      on December 19, 2012 at 11:25 pm
      Original Link

      “Well-meaning men launching snark at other well-meaning men with whom they disagree”

      lol King A is a boy, not a man.

Thought Experiment

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 19, 2012 at 7:13 am
Original Link

Regarding the Update, I think it’s kind of mean to use King A as your example guy. Think of how he’ll feel when he reads it.

I Have a Secret

Original Link

via Rational Male

on December 18, 2012 at 3:12 am
Original Link

lol PUAs had our own “Post Secret” in the form of sharing Field Reports with eachother. Most of us, especially when we started out, would do a debrief with the girl after banging and ask her stuff like “When did you first decide you wanted to fuck me?” and ask about their previous sexual partners etc. and we’d post that stuff in our Field Reports. So when you have a thousand FRs where the girls are all like “I knew when you did (consistent action through all the FRs)” you can go “okay, so that’s something women respond to.” We saw, were exposed to, and more importantly shared with other men, the dark side of women that the normal average guy has no idea exists or that girls think “none of MY friends are like that”. It would blow their mind the same way Post Secret blows normal guys’ minds.

That’s why this paragraph by Leap of a Beta is important:

“and a reminder that the people submitting these secrets are not a minority, not special, nor bad. Just normal people. They’re the girl you’re going to approach at the bar tonight, the woman you want to marry, the daughter you raised, your cousin, your mom, the girl that LJBF’d you, your father, your brother, your friend. You have to accept that people are like this, and plan for it, and find ways to motivate them to treat you properly instead of the way they treat these people in their secrets.”

And why the Madonna/Whore complex guys are retarded. They’re the same guys who read Post Secrets and go “well okay, that’s fucked up, but that’s OTHER people, none of MY friends or girls I date would EVER do anything like THAT.” as if there’s some magical fairy dust sprinkled on certain people and not others and we aren’t all the same, normal people trying to get by who are all capable of doing some fucked up shit not because we’re bad people but because we’re human.

And once you accept that the people you put up on a pedestal are not the beautiful and unique snowflakes you’ve forced them to pretend to be, and instead they’re human just like the rest of us, you come to the fork in the road of Acceptance VS Depression:

@Lucky White Male

You’re confusing money, looks and power with status. They aren’t the same thing. You can be the aloof skittles guy and be low value (a lazy x-box playing bum), or you can be the aloof skittles guy and be high value (the life of the party socialite that everyone admires and respects as a fun cool guy). You can be a rich good-looking guy with low value (iBanker beta crowd), or you can be a rich good-looking guy with high value (rockstars).

If you’d like proof of this, try going out regularly for a few years. Make friends with the iBanker crowd and make friends with the sketchy Skittles crowd. Make friends with a bunch of ugly short guys, and make friends with a bunch of good looking male model type body-builders. Spend a lot of time hanging out with them around women and watching them interact, and try to take girls from them. In other words, go out instead of mentally masturbating ways to excuse the righteous injustice you think is going on that isn’t actually going on.

For faster proof, go to a high-end nightclub and look for Death Row. It’s the line-up along the bar of rich good-looking beta CEOs and shit terrified to talk to girls lol

You can be alpha and badass and have money, looks, and power, and that’s awesome. But it’s not necessary. Otherwise the cheerleaders at school would be banging the high school quarterback jock’s richer, better looking, more powerful dad instead of him…but at school and in that cheerleader’s world the jock has higher relative value than “someone’s DAD ewww”, so she fucks him. Meanwhile if that kid went to a cougar bar, he’d have no value to those chicks looking to land a husband, and goes home solo.

It all comes down to your value, not your external possessions. But you won’t believe that, obviously lol

This is the shit that tells me you’re mentally masturbating and don’t actually go out and don’t have a social life beyond a few close buddies that probably play xbox with you on nights where other people are out socializing:

“Most likely these MPS guys have not only heard of Game – but are so ambitious generally they have eagerly gobbled up and implemented Game.”

Wow, they’re fucking superman. God, I know how difficult it is to get laid, I mean you go to a high-end bar and all those guys are badass rockstars shooting lightning bolts out their ass OMG!!!111

Your problem is that you believe that having money, power, and status instantly gives you alpha traits, so you think all these CEOs and celebrities and shit are running around being alpha badasses getting pussy. The reality is that a lot of them are lame as fuck because they thought the same thing you did (“soon as I get money, I’ll get girls!!”) and didn’t bother to learn game. Meanwhile my buddy who hasn’t had a job in 3 years and lives in a shit-hole apartment is taking home the hottie staff chicks who carry sparkling VIP bottles of Grey Goose out to your sausage-fest of beta CEOs who think wearing a suit will get them laid.

It’s possible to be a badass alpha guy with money, power, and status, but it’s REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY fucking rare in the real world as opposed to your imagination. That’s why we laugh at it, it’s such a statistical anomally that it’s not even worth thinking about. It’s like saying “oh well a unicorn with a machine gun and ninja-swords will totally destroy a lion”…that’s not something I disagree with, but if you think there are a bunch of armed-up unicorns running around you need to get out of the basement more.

Gather a group of random rich CEOs from the biggest companies in the world at a bar and put them beside a table full of loud out-going social college jocks who live at home with their parents, fill the bar with college chicks, and see how your money power status guys do lol πŸ™‚

on December 18, 2012 at 3:41 am
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“We used to assume that having something going for you was what turned women on, but not necessarily. We’ve since discovered that you can be that badass without having to actually be good at much of anything else.”

lol this. I’ve said it since I started posting on the Manosphere, it’s not the money itself that turns women on or half the computer nerds I know who stockpile their savings because they have no social life would be getting laid like crazy, and women would be visiting the bank just to rub their cooters on piles of money.

“if you have great status or something similar, you are very likely to get cuckolded by the guy who cleans your pool for you if he has game and you don’t.”

Yup. I know this because my buddies and I have been those guys cuckolding richer, better-looking, more powerful men than ourselves.


“Money and status mean fuck all when everybody I know has it. Girls just expect it. It’s no big deal.”

This is the other thing guys who haven’t been around extremely high-value girls don’t get. The smokin hottie model chick is SURROUNDED by guys with money, 6-pack abs, status, etc. so they have like the owner of the biggest nightclub in town offering to fly them to his mansion in the Bahamas and buy her a bunch of new outfits (and he just HOPES he’ll get to bang her lol). Like, their entire social circle is all rich good-looking male model types running the money power status rat-race. She is SURROUNDED by guys who ALL have that stuff, all the time.

So like FuriousFerret says, it loses its value when everybody has it. So then my asshole buddy comes along, with no job or anything, but two beer-tub girls are hanging off him and he tells the smokin hottie model chick she’s not his type and she goes “:O :O WTF who the fuck is THAT??” and chases him around all night while the rich guys in her social circle are fighting over who’s BMW she’s going home in until they realize she’s not there anymore, because she went home with my buddy, to his shitty apartment that she thinks is “cute” because she’s attracted to him and backwards rationalizes his shitty qualities in a positive light so she won’t regret fucking him.

“Game is the one thing I see lacking from most of the men I interact with.”

Stuff like that is how I know FuriousFerret goes out. Because the shit I write about isn’t theory, or ideas, or logic…it’s experience-based conclusions, from the combined experience of tens of thousands of men going out and gaining experience. People give me shit like “oh if someone disagrees with you, you call them a keyboard jockey” and yes, I do, because the guys who go out regularly read my shit and go “ya that aligns with my own experiences”.

If I was finding out in the field that I couldn’t get pussy without owning an Armani suit and a nice condo, I would be hustling my ass to earn money to buy them.

@Good Luck Chuck

“Anyone who says wealth/status/power aren’t important never had any. If you ever get to experience it for yourself you will understand.”

Anyone who says wealth/status/power trump game hasn’t had a guy with actual solid game go after his girls. If you ever get to experience my jobless Natural buddy who banged over 100 new chicks last year hitting on your girl in front of you, you will understand.”

@Days of Broken Arrows

“I’ve learned that women will definitely pay attention when you have a position of power and money. They just won’t necessarily sleep with you. Anyone can take a woman on an expensive vacation or buy her things. Closing the deal is a different matter.”

This. And most guys who are in a position of power and money spent all their time earning that power and money instead of learning how to seduce a girl who comes over to say “I like your BMW.”

The guys who don’t pick up regularly are the guys who think that a girl looking at you, being interested in you, or even coming over and flirting with you, means that you’re going to bang her. They have no idea what ASD/LMR is, what anti-game is, how logistics can fuck up even a sure thing, how badly most guys drop the ball with seduction, how many guys talk themselves out of blatant signs of interest the girl is giving, how deep feminist social conditioning to be a gentleman is, etc.

They live in a cartoon imagination land where the girl goes “Hi, I like your car” and the guy just smoothly goes “So let’s go for a ride” and they drive to his mansion and she jumps on his dick, like there aren’t 100000 points in a pickup where something can go wrong and the guy can drop the ball and fuck it up regardless of how into you she was when she first saw you lol

I Have a Secret

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via Rational Male

on December 18, 2012 at 9:42 pm
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“If you manage to BECOME the high value man, you can have a pussy fountain at your disposal.”

No shit, no one disagrees with that. Let us know when your next rock concert with 100,000 fans cheering for you is. Or when you start your own porn magazine and have a mansion with naked chicks frolicking together in a grotto. Or when the next James Cameron movie you’re starring in comes out.

While I wait for you to achieve that (ideally before you’re 30 so you can enjoy it, hope you don’t get hit by a bus the day after you finally amassed all this stuff), I’ll be over here flirting with girls in the here and now not being concerned about running into a James Bond Superman anomally and losing a whole one girl to his unstoppable manliness.. Good luck!

I Have a Secret

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via Rational Male

on December 19, 2012 at 9:54 am
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“However, Chuck is a LOST CAUSE.”

I don’t actually expect to convince him specifically of anything. I post the argument up mainly for the lurkers reading this who read his shit and go “ahh yes, this one post confirms my wrong world-view so I’ll ignore all the other evidence that doesn’t confirm it and stick to playing the victim card!”

@Good Luck Chuck
“All you have to have is social status that stems from something that perpetuates itself (something that doesn’t require you to embellish your average life)”

I think the disconnect is that you think we’re out there lying about our accomplishments and shit, aka embellishing our average life. Women know I have a perfectly average life (in fact I purposely try to show them that I’m not Provider material because it helps keep casual Fuckbuddy relationships casual lol). And they still want to fuck.

The only advantage I have over other people at the bar, including the manager of it, is that I’m more charismatic and confident with women than they are. That’s it.

Because what happens is those guys go “oh, this guy is cool and fun, I want to be his friend” and now the girls around him look at him qualifying himself to me and say “well if this super alpha badass rich manager of the bar is buying this guy shots and trying to get his approval and seems to have a little man-crush on him, then he must be even BETTER, and my Hypergamy requires that I go for him.” Meanwhile, objectively, I don’t have anything on the manager. He can be richer, better looking, more powerful, etc. than me if you do a pros/cons checklist of the two of us.

BUT…in that situation, I’ve used game concepts in my interactions with him to become higher status than him. Despite all his advantages, my relative value to him is higher.

You might say “But YaReally, why would a badass alpha rich good-looking manager of a nightclub give you any kind of power at all and qualify himself to you at all?” Well, he might not, if I just go up and say “Hi, I’m YaReally. CASH ME, MOTHAFUCKA’!!”

So that’s where game comes in. Say I game a few girls elsewhere and bring them to his club. I have them do themselves up to get attention and walk in with them on my arms. I invite a handful of cool people from my social circle out to party with me and we cause a scene in the club, with everyone around us having a good time. Then when I’m talking to the manager, I create comfort/rapport with him because that’s a skill I’ve honed doing cold approach, and I connect with him on a deep level where he feels like he’s known me for years and I really “get” him. I make sure to lead the conversation in a way where I create an opportunity/need for him to qualify himself to me and I reward him for it when he does it, which makes him like me and seek my approval in general even more.

The next time I show up there, he goes out of his way to come over to greet me and we shoot the shit, etc. and all the girls who know he’s the manager see me and think “Who’s THIS guy?”, and on top of it he introduces me to his girls because he thinks I’m a cool guy and wants to introduce them to cool people to network. I’m shooting high-value out my ass like thunder and simply isolate the girl and run my game.

I’m basically piggy-backing on that guy’s amazing badass alpha success, using game principles. Let him do all the work, and then swoop in and benefit off it. He likes me and I purposely don’t fuck his social circles up or take girls that I know he likes, and I introduce him to girls that I think he’d like, so it’s all win/win for both of us.

But I can do all this without buying a single drink, without having a car, without having a job, without being in shape, etc. I don’t have to talk to every girl in the room and demonstrate to her that I have higher value than you…that’s a lot of work. All I have to do is talk to YOU, and use Game to make you feel like I have higher value than you. The rest falls into place from there.

I think most guys in the Manosphere have never really SEEN “Game”. Like, real Game. It feels like you guys picture some dude who’s still going in and being all “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” but they’re just really GOOD at going in and being all “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” The real scope of Game, when you fully understand how group dynamics and social psychology and shit work, is fucking mind-blowing.

This is part of why I’m sad that Mystery Method is looked at as so old and useless to people learning game now. I know MM is big and cumbersome and it takes a long time (years) to really let it all sink in and get enough experience with it to properly wield it…but it is powerful as FUCK. A lot of pickup now is focused more on one-on-one, but Mystery understood how to take over a room and it wasn’t just because of his fuzzy hat.

“This may come as a shock for most, but I know Chuck IRL and I can unequivocally say that he isn’t the troll you think he is.”

lol’ed at this.

“Having social recognition for something that even marginally implies affluence is a form of DHV in that it subconsciously conotes status and preselection.”

Agreed. The nuance I’m trying to get across is that there’s a slow way to achieve that (actually gaining that social recognition for yourself by clawing your way up the chain tooth and nail) and there’s an efficient way to achieve that (figure out who’s the highest up the chain and get them to make you look slightly higher). It’s like joining a friend at the front of the line in a theatre. Sure, you could wait in line like everyone else, and there’s a sense of satisfaction from that suffering and everything especially if your goal is to “survive standing in a long line”. But if your goal is simply to watch the actual movie, Game offers a faster method of achieving that than waiting in line.

“Whether you fuck that up or not with your lack of social intelligence (Game) and/or lack of physical attractiveness is another issue entirely.”

lol also agreed.

“but if I walk into a Martini lounge or I’m at an event in South Beach and people know my name and the environment is such that my presentation DHV, I have to be mindful not to unintentionally Game the women I encounter there.”

Absolutely. But then if I walk in there and do a specific set of things to raise my value in your eyes (aka use group theory Game principles to raise my status), and create a situation where girls looking at us can tell that you subconsciously consider me higher value than you (not through direct competition with you, more like say your favorite Author nobody has ever heard of walks in and you’re gushing over him super excited to talk to him…or say your good friend who you respect and admire walks in and you go out of your way to go over and talk to him, etc.)…I will have as much or more value than you to any women we come across.

And in the moment you will fall for this, even if you don’t think you will, the same way girls fall for Game, even though they don’t think they will. What we do is based on working human psychology.

Tyler tells a story of how this works at 26:00 into this video (“Then he buys me a drink, he thinks he’s looking cool getting me a drink–haha I feel so mean, that’s really mean what I’m saying haha” lol):

I hope that makes sense. Legit old-school PUA game (especially Mystery Method, group theory stuff) was about more than just cold approaching girls from the shadows in the corner of a bar.

For anyone interested in getting into what I’m describing here, I highly recommend checking out the old-school Mystery Method videos. It’s a lot of information and can take a long time to really learn to wield in real-time in-field, and some of the routines are a little dated/over-used now, but you can make your own new routines based off the formulas behind those old ones…but the main thing is that the way he describes how to work groups is super solid and in-depth.

on December 19, 2012 at 10:08 am
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P.S. Wording it as “And you will fall for it” (insert evil laughter with thunder and lightning) was just for dramatic effect lol The reality is most of the time it isn’t a “trick”, I’m legitimately interested in getting to know the people I talk to and the bond we form is an actual one and I really am into our conversation because I like people in general and I’m always interested in making more friends and networking and everything. Learning cold approach pickup taught me that it’s fun and interesting to meet new people in general (I was a hermit before getting into PUA).

It’s just that I’m approaching creating a bond/relationship with you in a way that’s 1) efficient, and 2) strategically also going to help me achieve my goals.

…unless you’re a super fucking douche of a person, and then I’m just going to take your girls lol But most of the time that isn’t the case, and you’ll still think I love you anyway. πŸ™‚

on December 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm
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This part of the seminar talks about merging sets and using pivots and comfort etc, but with MM his view OF pickup is that basically the entire bar is one big set, so Group Theory is sort of mixed into all of his stuff as opposed to just having a very separate “how to shmooze the manager of a bar” section, you know?:

I recommend watching all the MM clips (that’s Part 4, I think there’s 5 parts), because a lot of the stuff that works on women, works on men too. Men respond to social proof (lonely old man comes up to you and says hi, old man with 4 Playboy models comes up to you and says hi, who do you assume is higher value?), comfort/rapport building (figuring out what their values are and mirroring them back to him, being authentic/honest, sharing vulnerabilities/commonalities, making confident eye contact, etc.)…there’s a hook point (the point where they go from not caring if you leave to enjoying the interaction and not waiting for you to leave) with guys just like there is with girls and mixed sets. And once you cross the hook point you can build comfort/rapport and lead the conversation towards qualifying them, etc.

so basically you’re running a lot of the same stuff one-on-one stuff on the guys that you are on the girls (not kino, lol), and to GET to that one-on-one situation you use external Game tactics (social proof, pivots, merging sets, etc.), depending on how high value the guy is. If he’s just a random Nice Guy dude in a mixed set, you can just be like “Hey man how’s your night, these girls are gorgeous hey?” and he’s happy to chit-chat with you and boom, you’re his new BFF for the night and he introduces you to his girls.

If the guy is super high value, like a Rollo at one of his liquor promo events where his time is taken up by all the attention he’s getting and he’s very clearly the highest value person in the room, you need to bust out more tactics to get on his radar. It’s the same as an average girl VS a smokin hot turbo girl surrounded by 10 guys…you can just say “Hey, what’s up?” to the average girl, and that MIGHT work on the smokin hot turbo girl, but better would be to roll up to the turbo girl with 2 girls on your arms laughing and then dropping a Neg on her as you pass by, know what I mean?

So here’s some mental masturbation for how I would work one of Rollo’s events (except it’s not mental masturbation because I’ve actually done this kind of thing, more than once, lol I usually follow a gameplan similar to this but you have to tweak it for the situation of course):

If I walked in solo, I’d start from the bottom and work my way up. Open and befriend a bunch of easy sets, merge them with eachother to be the social connector (if two sets are merged by someone, the person with the highest value in that new large set is the guy who connected them because both sets assume he must know everyone in the other group of strangers they’ve just met) and use them as social proof and pivots to work my way up to the hotter girls in the bar. I’d keep an eye on who Rollo talks to and figure out which of them are close to him and which are random acquaintences and I’d approach them instead of him directly (same way you get to a turbo girl, open her friends instead of bee-lining it for her which makes her think you want something).

Building comfort/etc. with his acquaintences (if they’re women, innocently flirt with and flatter them, if they’re men, introduce them to women I’ve met that night), eventually I’d end up in Rollo’s vicinity and onto his radar. Ideally I’d have one of his closer acquaintences I’ve been building comfort with introduce me to him (“Oh is THAT Rollo? I love this event, I wanted to say hi to him but he’s running around so much I haven’t gotten a chance.” which generally results in an “Oh come with me, I’ll introduce you!”). Now I’m getting intoduced to him, maybe with a hottie on my arm, through one of his close acquaintances (social proof, pre-selection, being recommended by one of his social circle etc. are all packed into my introduction now) and he’s probably noticed me doing my thing at points throughout the night and, as far as he knows, I know a ton of people at his event because I’ve been chatting with people and twirling girls around on the dance floor etc…Much better than just making a bee-line from the door as an annonymous nobody and going directly up to him looking to take value which COULD work and he might be friendly because it’s his event, but would probably put him on his guard and keep me at arm’s length and I have bigger goals in mind than just scoring a promo drink off him.

Once I get to him (lol like getting to the boss in a videogame after levelling up, working a room really is similar to that), and introduce him to a girl or two that I’ve met that night, I figure out what his values and our commonalities are (not hard to figure out based on the event we’re at and the conversations I’ve had with people who know him etc.) and I start building a connection with him. From here, ideally I isolate him from the group (lol, this sounds so gay I know) because people bond better with some alone time together, but this can be as simple as grabbing a drink at the bar with him or whatever, I just need a few minutes where we’re talking directly to eachother. DHV a bit, be a fun guy, joke around with the bartender as we get a drink (who ideally I’ve met earlier in the night when I was building up my value), and basically be an all-around cool social high-value guy.

He’ll have shit to do mingling and all that, obviously, so I know I only get a few minutes, but generally manager types will give me their card at this point and offer to hook me up etc. because it looks like I’m the kind of guy they want at their events and that I can probably bring people, etc. (ie – I bring value instead of take it). From this point on that night, I’m about as high value as he is, or slightly less, because he thinks I’m cool but I’m not a close friend yet. That’s enough for that event though, I can use the value I’ve got now with pretty much any chick at the event.

But to play it long-term, I’ll shoot him a txt the next day congratulating him on the event, saying I had a great time, and because it’s Rollo probably mentioning I got laid to make him laugh. He saves my # and the next event I’m out at, I invite him out, or when he’s doing his “invite all the event type people out” invites he has to do as part of his business networking he invites me out. When I show up I make sure to come say hi to him and shoot the shit for a bit (usually if they own the club we’re in they’ll buy me a shot/drinks here, but they do that for all the regulars so I know I have to make an effort to shoot the shit about something relevant to them and build some comfort). Over the course of a few events I don’t necessarily become one of his close friends (though you never know, sometimes you just click with people solid and end up hanging out outside the bar scene, or if I threw a good party or something he might show up as we got to know eachother), but I at least become a guy that he looks forward to seeing.

At THAT point when I walk into his event, he goes “YaReally!! Hey man! Glad you made it, how’s it going?” and shakes my hand “I want you to meet Such and Such” and I get introduced via him and everyone around us (staff, girls, etc.) sees I know the most important guy in the room and how happy he is to see me, and now I basically look higher value than him since he’s so eager to introduce me around, so I MUST be high value. If we DO build a friendship outside of the bar scene as well, then I become a close friend and become even higher value when I show up because now I’m his good buddy dropping in.

So ya, that’s what I’d do. Like I say, I know that’s what I’d do because I’ve done it before lol It sounds like a lot of work to read all this, but when you logically look at what’s involved in it, 1) the only money I NEED to spend is whatever it costs to attend the event (usually like $10 club cover, or more for a larger ticketed event), 2) the majority of it only takes me like 2-4 hours at the first main event then some after-care, 3) I don’t even need massive seduction skills for most of it, just general social and comfort/rapport skills, 4) I don’t need to have money, a job, a car, etc. for any of it, just charisma and understanding Game, 5) it’s all fun, I get to meet a ton of people and probably come out of it with a bunch of cool stories…

But most importantly 6) It’s sure as shit easier/faster/cheaper than starting a line of liquor brands and running a promo event or buying and managing a nightclub etc. πŸ™‚

on December 19, 2012 at 2:07 pm
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P.S. One other thing to note about that strategy I wrote up above is that no part of it requires any kind of superhuman magic powers. If you break down what I’m doing through out, literally all I’m doing is causally chatting some people up in a friendly way, getting to know them a bit, and introducing them to eachother. There’s no “oh I could never do that” magic ninja tricks in there. I’m just doing it in a very strategic manner, and applying Game tactics to help out (like comfort to connect with guys, and teasing/kino to flirt with girls, etc.). It’s all just basic game applied strategically with a purpose/goal.

@Lucky White Male

“2) How long can we keep hoping that guys with Money Power and Status are somehow social rejects who are otherwise clueless dolts when it comes to women?”

They don’t have to be social rejects. They just have to be not as socially savvy as someone who, while they were socializing 4 hours every couple weeks with all their work to do, was socializing 20 hours a week every week.

I only have to be 1% higher value than the other guy for a girl’s Hypergamy to start kicking in. The higher % I am, the higher it kicks in.

“but it seems obvious that the X-Box Bum who Knows Game is NOT going to outperform the Money Power Status guy with some rare exceptions.”

It SEEMS that way, because you don’t go out enough, and don’t know enough MPS guys and X-Box Bums and don’t watch this dynamic play out all the fucking time lol You are in a fantasy land. The MPS guy can totally out-do the X-Box guy, it’s just that 1) MPS guys are so rare to begin with that it’s really as silly as worrying about a nuclear bomb, and 2) the X-Box guy just has way more experience with seduction…being a friendly powerful guy doesn’t mean you know how to get a pussy wet.

“their boyfriend who has built companies with millions of dollars in Income Streams from scratch, who holds the pussy-tingling Power in his hands to make careers, break careers, who holds the Social Status as Head Alpha of his particular Pack so when he walks into certain rooms everyone feels it and people start literally acting differently… ”

Ya, that guy’s super. And how many of those guys do you think are out there? You could go out for a year and meet maybe 5 of them max. They’re statistically so irrellevant that it’s ridiclous to even be concerned with. Sure, you could work your ass off your entire life to try to become that guy, and that’s awesome, good luck with that, but I think I’ll just be a normal guy who knows how to Game and can outdo the other 99.9999% of the guys at the bar who aren’t this magical Superman you’re stressing.

“but it’s time the Game community comes up with a more-inclusive paradigm based on reality”

Maybe it’s time you went out more. Like, I’m not trying to be a dick, but this is complete mental masturbation. Go out this Friday and tell me how many millionaire dark triad entrepreneur badasses with millions in income streams making and breaking careers you meet.

“If you were a hermit before, I’m guessing you’re an introvert?”

Yup. Socializing actually takes a lot out of me, especially now that I’m older. My default “state” is to just be chilling quietly people-watching…but over time I’ve learned that socializing IS fun, and I love having random stories from my adventures. So I kind of look at it like Skydiving. It’s exhausting and tiring and doing it every single day would take a lot out of me, but it’s a thrill and a rush and exciting so it’s not like a chore or anything negative even if my natural “state” is sitting on my couch at home watching TV lol

“If so, how did you go from that to being outgoing and social and chatting up strangers?”

It was a fuckton of work lol The reality is that everyone is an introvert/extrovert to different degrees, but we like to pick an Identity and then hide behind it. “Ohhh, going out and talking to girls is scary, and I’m naturally quiet, so I’m an Introvert. You guys don’t understand, this is way harder for me because I’m an Introvert. You guys are Extroverts so you can do this, it’s not possible for me, I’m an Introvert” and we make up bullshit excuses not to get out of our comfort zone and push ourselves into new experiences.

You are whatever you’re doing. If you spend the week being lazy and unproductive you can’t say “I’m a productive person. I was lazy this week, but that’s not really me, I’m productive.” It’s like no, THAT week, you were an unproductive person. This week you can be a productive one, if you do productive things, so do productive things. If you go out and socialize with people and learn to enjoy it and have fun with it, you’re a social person. You have the ability to change your Identity at any time with your actions.

Sure, if you’re not naturally inclined to be chatting and be around people, it’s tougher…but fuck, no one said this shit was easy lol Guys looking for a quick fix are the ones that become bitter anti-game haters, because they tried fora few months and didn’t get anywhere and gave up. I blame the PUA marketing for creating that mentality though…back when PUA was still underground and there wasn’t really any marketing because there weren’t really any bootcamps or anything, we all went in with the understanding that this was a life-long project we were taking on. Like, we knew it would be YEARS+ of work to get this shit handled, let alone mastered.

The thing about being an Introvert is that when you don’t know HOW to socialize and you have no reference experiences of success at it etc. etc. of COURSE socializing sucks and you want to stay an Introvert and going out and chatting people up feels like punching yourself in the balls repeatedly. But if you stick it out and get good at it…I mean, Friday night rolls around now and I get antsy if I DON’T go out. Because the weekend before I went out, made out with a couple 18yos, grabbed a number of some cutie, had some funny conversations with people, made a couple new friends, the manager of a bar bought me a shot, and my buddy and I took a couple chicks home to bang and we all got McDonald’s in the morning and laughed about the night before. So why would I NOT want to go out, if shit like that is waiting for me out there?

That’s why you gotta’ push through the pain and really dedicate yourself to it. The rewards are worth it down the road. The old hermit me couldn’t even IMAGINE he could live this lifestyle. Like it was for other people, those smooth player guys who were just born being good with girls, etc. etc. I had all the same bullshit beliefs every other AFC Nice Guy Introvert has. This is part of why I’m so passionate about it, PUA fucks some guys up but for me it was life-changing. πŸ™‚

“ain’t nothin to it but to do it.”

lol, or that. Fuck I write too much lol

on December 19, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Original Link

@Good Luck Chuck

“If your only goal in life is to get laid, then yea, it’s a lot easier to learn game and call it a day.”

Your problem is that you look at Game through a very narrow lens and don’t see the potential in what it can do for the rest of the areas of your life. Think on it. πŸ™‚

on December 19, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Original Link

I was a pretty hardcase fuckup. A lot of my first year or so was just fixing up my social akwardness lol I got laid a bunch that year because I executed Game like the literature told me to, but I was completely flying by the seat of my pants “fake it till you make it” style. There were a lot of “omg I can’t believe this is working, omg I can’t believe we’re having sex” etc. moments that year lol I would spend all my free time all week long reading about Game and then all weekend applying it. And for a good chunk of the year I was going out 4-6 nights a week even, and doing day game, etc..

I’m about 8 years in, but I had enough skill for a decent dating/sex life by the 2nd or 3rd year. I could’ve slowed it down there and been happy enough, but I enjoy the game and I love the psychology of it all and the difference in my life 3 years in compared to where I started was so phenomenal that I wanted to see how much better I could get, so to me it’s like someone who likes hitting the gym. Most people would be fine just being “not fat”, but some people like to go try to get themselves a set of abs. πŸ™‚

But just like working out, once you get those abs you don’t have to hit the gym 24/7 like when you had to lose 300lbs, you can tone it down and just maintain it. I only go out to work on my game a couple nights a week now (not counting nights I spend with girls, I mean like going to the bar and approaching sets) because I’m more focused on work at the moment and I have an open relationship with an LTR (2 years in) and enough fuckbuddies that I’m satisfied with my romantic life. When I started I wasn’t far off from where that “Confessions of a former incel” guy was, so the old hermit me would be mind-blown if he could see what he’d turn into lol

Persistence: The Underrated Alpha Male Quality

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Original Link

“Apparently, not only do girls want alpha males for themselves, they also want them for their friends.”

But, of course! One backturn deserves another. If only alphas were one of Oprah’s favorite things: You get an alpha! You get an alpha! You get an alpha!

  • OhioStater
    on December 17, 2012 at 3:40 pm
    Original Link

    I dispute that. Girls only share if the guy is the same SMV as everyone else. If he’s above, then they want him for themselves.

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm
      Original Link

      mmmm…this one is a little complicated. There’s a pretty consistent pattern but there are a lot of nuances involved in it. It depends on a big combination of his value, the value of the other men in the room, her value, her friends’ values, and logistics.

on December 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Original Link

Alphas and Naturals tend to just believe the girl will fuck them. Their mentality is something like “She may not realize she likes me right away, but that’s fine, she’ll figure it out in time.” Like it’s already a foregone conclusion to them that they’re going to fuck, all that’s variable in their mind is how soon they’ll fuck.

Combine that with the concepts of “what you feel, she feels” and “the strongest frame always wins” and you have a pretty powerful recipe for success regardless of whether you’re dropping any negs.

Cajun describes this idea well. At the end of this vid he says his mentality is basically “Go ahead and try to reject me. It’s not going to work, I’m so charming that you’re going to love me. But go on, I dare you to try to reject me.”

I can still get shot down early on in the interaction, hell right off the opener even. Or in the first couple txt conversations, or she’ll flake before we actually get to meet up again etc. It’s all still variable in those stages…but I know that if I’m into a girl, and we spend a certain amount of time together (like at least a couple hours in isolation together), we’re going to fuck. We might not fuck right then and there (depends on logistics/comfort), but all the framework will be laid out, the seeds planted, and the attraction stoked on her end. Once I pass that point I can sit back and relax because I know that while she might not realize it, us hooking up is inevitable.

I can’t comprehend spending like, 7+ hours of one-on-one face-time with a girl and not having sex with her unless she’s a girl I don’t WANT to have sex with and I’m not putting moves on (like a buddy’s girlfriend or an ugly girl or whatever). I’m thinking back and I honestly can’t think of a girl I’ve invested more than a few hours of face-time into without us having sex lol I’m sure there must have been some, definitely back when I was starting out…but in the past few years I can’t think of any.

That’s almost weird lol it’ll bug me if I can’t think of at least ONE wtf…

  • Marky Mark
    on December 17, 2012 at 5:56 pm
    Original Link

    I like how quick you are with your seduction time wise, my skills are not that good yet. HOWEVER, I can tell when a girl is genuinely into me after the first meet and if I have a good chance of sleeping with them. Should I try to tailor my game to sleep with them quicker or just keep things as they are as I’m having reasonable success?

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 6:43 pm
      Original Link

      If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it lol

      It’s like racing cars. If you want to zoom around a track and tinker with engines to shave off a few milliseconds here and there, come on over to the race track and join us.

      But if you aren’t that obsessive about it and you’re cool driving around town doing your thing, hey fuck it, enjoy the ride. Come join us on the track now and then if you feel like exploring that, but don’t feel like you have to…we know we’re the crazy hobbyists and not the norm lol

      For me part of why I focused on speeding things up is because I love variety in my women but I have other stuff I’d rather be doing than sitting around going on dates for weeks with girls. If each girl takes like 5 dates to get anywhere with and you like variety so you have like 5 girls on rotation, shit, that’s a lot of expensive boring dates all week just to keep your head above ground progress-wise. I don’t have the time or money (or energy!) for that.

      Plus if I want to just hang out and shoot the shit with someone who cares about me, I have male friends for that who understand me, my views, and what kind of life problems men run into that we need to discuss, way better than any girl I’ve met. And they don’t expect me to pay for dinner lol

      So for me, streamlining my game’s style was just a result of my preferences/goals.

      I don’t actually go as fast as possible though because I don’t personally like going direct. So I’m actually purposely going “not quite full speed” because I feel like there’s a point where ya you’re getting fast results but you’re losing stability and your car is shaking and rattling like its going to burst because you’re going too fast to run solid game…so you make it to the finish line quick (fuck her in a bathroom) but your car is totaled (flakey girls, no repeat customers, more of a random numbers game, etc). I feel like for what I’m currently into (multiple short/long-term fuckbuddies) I need to still execute a certain amount of game to solidify her longer-term attraction and get her to invest more in our relationship.

      I guess my style is basically a really sped up version of Mystery Method. A little more direct and a little more focused on spiking attraction faster, but not as fast as guys who do Direct Game, and I’m still using the overall framework MM provided.

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 2:28 am
      Original Link

      “I feel I should start telling them I’m a bartender or something so they don’t consider me marriage/LTR material.”

      You’re actually on the right track there lol

      Generally in your late 20s early 30s you’re at that point where everyone thinks you should WANT to settle down. And career-wise you’ve probably got your shit together compared to when you were in your early 20s. Maybe you’ve decided to finally take care of your body as the hangovers hit you harder and so you even look better than you’ve looked during the rest of your life. And you’ve been working on your social skills so you’re confident, out-going, social…so you’re basically in your prime and women look at you and they see a good catch.

      Because you look like you’d be a good Provider, they start changing their approach. Now they want to make you wait a bit for sex (so you don’t write them off as a slut and they’re a potential Girlfriend/Wife), and they want to spend more time together outside of just fucking (so the oxytocin can do it’s thing and you fall in love with them and want to make them your GF/Wife), and they start expecting you to take them out on “REAL” dates and buy them dinner and traditionally court them etc. because that’s how the Prince treated his Princess in all those Disney movies they watched.

      Add to that the woman’s age, like if she’s 25+ (and ESPECIALLY 30+), which is the age range society will tell you you’re SUPPOSED to be macking on instead of the younger hotties who come with less baggage, and now she’s got the “I’m going to be alone forever like a crazy cat lady” timer ticking down AND the baby timer ticking down, so they’re EXTRA motivated to “slow things down” and land you into a relationship.

      They’re not bad people or anything, they’re just instinctively looking out for their best interests in terms of survival/reproduction and by being a certain age and having certain success in life, you’re naturally giving off signals that they pick up on to categorize you as a possible Provider and set the trap. It’s all very smart and logical and efficient on their part from a biological perspective.

      This is why a lot of guys who waste their 20s working like dogs to amass a fortune and mansion and ferrari thinking once they have that stuff they’ll get laid like rockstars, finally get that stuff and they take a girl home from the bar who was ready to fuck their brains out, until she sees he lives in a mansion and then she goes “ohh I’m not one of those slutty girls, we should go on a date!” because suddenly he looks like he’d be a good Provider. This isn’t all rich guys, but it’s something a lot of them run into…that’s part of why they end up taking PUA bootcamps and shit when you wouldn’t think they’d need to. They get stuck in this Provider trap.

      So the solution is, as you’re figuring out:

      Disqualify yourself from even the POSSIBILITY of being a Provider. :)

      Does the chick thinking about marriage and kids look at a guy like this and think “This guy seems like a good responsible Provider with his shit together and a healthy lifestyle to build a steady long-term relationship with?” Fuck no. She doesn’t want to marry him. But she’ll suck his cock in the bathroom of a bar the night she meets him.

      So for me, I focus on 1) making it VERY clear that I’m all about sex and fun/non-judgemental/kinky/etc. in bed, 2) making it VERY clear that I’m not Provider/long-term material, 3) pushing them through a lot of emotions in a very short time (there’s a lot of “fuck I hate you. Why are you such a bitch? I hate that I kind of want to fuck you. Get out of here! No I’m just kidding, I love you come here lol” etc. and 4) steering the conversation away from logical discussions about what I do for a living, my ambitions in life, etc.

      Often girls don’t know anything about my personal life before we fuck lol, they just know that I’m fun, I turn them on, and I make them feel good (instead of ashamed) ABOUT being turned on. That’s enough for most of them to fuck, yes, even the Good Girls. Remember when you’re spiking a girl’s attraction up and frying her circuits, they’re thinking with emotion, not logic. Calm, rational, and objectively filling out some kind of survey, a Good Girl would probably say “oh I’d never hook up the same night”, and if you’re a guy who’s boring/average/normal, she’s right, she won’t hook up with you the same night. But when you know how to access that emotional side of her, she’s not in the same state she was in when she filled out that survey or went on a dinner date with a boring guy and she gets swept up in the moment like the other girls because her logical circuits are fried.

      This is why I don’t need the 7+ hours or whatever…I’m flipping a very efficient set of switches to lead to the type of lay I’m after (casual fuckbuddies). At the same time, I’m not going as fast as the Direct numbers-game type guys because I DO want to hook up with the chick more than a quick bathroom fuck as passing ships in the night, so there are a few more switches I’m flipping that the Direct guys don’t give a shit about.

      A lot of guys taking girls on dates Waste time flipping switches they don’t need to flip, or switches that actively slow their seduction down (like bragging about their accomplishments without realizing they’re pleading their case for her to categorize them as a Provider and not put out quickly). This isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you like going on dates or you’re looking to settle down with a girlfriend etc. (although it’s very easy to go from fuckbuddies to BF/GF, you just see her more than once a week and open up a bit over time and the Oxytocin and human nature does the rest).

      Like I COULD clean my room before girls come over, I’d still probably be able to get the lay but I know looking like a clean and responsible guy with a nice bedroom flips a switch in the Provider category, so why make things difficult on myself? Instead I’ll let my room be messy and leave a condom wrapper and a chick’s bobby-pin on the ground near my bed. What switch does that flip? The “definitely not a Provider…but probably a good fuck who gets laid” switch. That’s much more productive in terms of getting to my personal goals of casual fuckbuddies where she doesn’t expect any commitment from me or expect me to try to impress/woo her.

      Early in the interaction, like when we’ve first met, I’ll bring up super sexual topics with the group (flipping the switch of “I’m fun in bed and non-judgemental”), I won’t censor my swearing (flipping the switch of “this isn’t a guy I could bring home to meet my parents, he’d be too offensive”), I’ll drop stories that make me sound like an asshole player like “ya I’m tired…well I don’t wanna say, you’ll think I’m sketchy lol Fine, fine, I had this stupid chick over last night. She didn’t even give head, she said she thinks sucking cock is gross…wtf is that? I’ve never met a chick that didn’t like giving head…and now she’s been txting me all fucking day and I don’t want to be a dick and tell her no, you suck in bed, sorry ’cause it’ll scar her for life, but I also don’t want to hook up with her again ugh…how do I get rid of this girl?” (flipping the switch of “wow, what a horrible person, this guy is NOT Boyfriend material…but he gets laid, he’s non-judgemental about girls being slutty, he has standards/expectations in the bedroom and he has enough abundance with women that he’s willing to turn down pussy”), I’ll talk about how I hate clingy chicks (flipping the “don’t try to get me into a relationship” switch) and how some girl I was seeing was looking for a boyfriend while we were hooking up and that I fully supported that because I just want everyone to find what they’re looking for whether it’s a fling or a serious relationship but that I know when you’re first dating a real boyfriend type you don’t want to look like a slut and put out right away but you still need to get fucked (flipping the switch of “you can look for a boyfriend while you’re with me if you want, so there’s no downside what-so-ever to hooking up with me” (note for the insecure guys: most girls don’t go looking for a BF, they’re happy with a regular consistent good lay that they hope one day they can figure out how to land)).

      Combine that kind of stuff with the obvious external signs that I’m not going to be her Provider, like not having a 6-pack and Armani suit, not having a car, not having my own apartment, etc. and the picture painted for her is “this is a guy to fuck, not date”.

      So go ahead, tell them you’re a bartender if you’re cool with lying, that’s a job that instantly says “I’m cool with sex, I’ve been laid a lot, I probably don’t have an interest in serious commitment, and I’m not real ambitious and going to be a doctor or anything to be able to Provide for you” just because of the stereotypes. Think about what other ways you can convey “I get laid and I’m non-judgemental about sex, but I’m also not successful/quality enough for you to want to introduce me to your parents” that are congruent with your vibe.

      It’s important to note that all that stuff I convey IS congruent for me. It wasn’t when I first got into PUA and I was a shy computer nerd and a massively polite White Knight mangina type, but I’ve been around and if a girl shit-tests me on the things I say, or my attitudes, etc. I’m completely congruent in them because for me they’re true…it’s not just a tactic. Same time though, if you’re transitioning into that kind of stuff, you may have to “fake it till you make it”, which is also totally fine, I did that when I started ramping up the sexuality of my sets too and over time it becomes congruent.

      The only real downside to faking it till you make it is that you’ll get shit-tested more because girls will sense something is “off” until you come across as fully congruent to your attitudes. Like if you saw me and I said I was a bartender and fucked some slutty whore last night you’d go “ya, that makese sense, he looks like the type,” and wouldn’t question it. But if you saw a clean-cut polite Warcraft nerd saying “Oh yes, I’m quite the bartender, and last night I fucked QUITE the “slutty whore”.” you’d be like “lol ya right dude, no seriously what computer company do you work for?” lol Like you would instinctively want to shit-test him.

      BUT, if he consistently passed your shit-tests and despite all logic he really DOES come off to you like a guy who bartends and gets laid and he shows you videos on his phone where he’s fucking a bunch of hot chicks, even though it seemingly makes no sense whatsoever, you’ll start to accept “Shit, I guess this guy is just a really unusual looking/acting bartender who gets laid…consider my mind blown”.

      Hope that helps. :) Try messing around with it in baby steps. Like next set you’re in, drop that you’re a bartender. Next time drop that you’re a bartender + drop a really sexual story and steer the conversation toward sex and see what kind of reactions you get. Then try the bartender job + sexual story + complaining that the girl you banged is getting too clingy for you. etc. etc.

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm
      Original Link

      @Marky Mark
      You’ll probably have to Next her. It’s hard to go “backwards” in a relationship. Like you can go from fuckbuddy to girlfriend easy, but going from girlfriend to fuckbuddy is a nightmare if not generally impossible.

      You are an idiot. I haven’t had a car since I was 18. And I live in a city where it’s unusual to not have a car. Leave your basement and talk to some girls once in a while, you’re an unbelievably depressing human being, some fresh air and cute girls would do you some good.

    • YaReally
      on December 19, 2012 at 6:48 am
      Original Link

      @Marky Mark

      Think of it like this: you’re a nerd in high school, and the hottest most popular chick in the school tells you she wants you to take her to prom. You know every better looking higher value jock in school is lined up to take her but she asks insecure average little you.

      What do you think? You think “there’s no reason she’d want me and choose me over them…she’s gorgeous but this must be some kind of trick or she’s using me for something…”

      Your girl probably thinks all you want is sex because there’s nothing else about her that you’d logically want and you probably haven’t given her a reason you want her besides its a convenient lay. Your physique even works against you because that makes this “why would he want me? He must just want sex and think I’m an easy lay” belief even stronger.

      Generally the recipe to fix this is to qualify her on something about herself. This isn’t a logical conversation like you sit down and tell her. Bust out your acting chops here and arrange a situation where she can impress you (or just make something up, really. I’m a fan of setting up a night out where she’ll dress up and going “wow…I didn’t know you could look like THAT.” and act a little stunned like youre thinking “hmm this chick is winning me over”). Have her cook you dinner and then be all “wow I didn’t know you could cook like that…I’m impressed.” That kind of shit.

      I wrote a comment in another article a while back about qualifying a girl so she feels like you want her for some other reason than sex. I’ll see if I can find it for ya to link here, but the general idea is that she needs to feel like she earned you with something special about her catching your eye instead of just “well I have tits”. A big one PUAs used to use is “you know at first I wasn’t sure about you…but (compliment). I’m impressed. (escalate kino/attention)” but while that’s the same concept, that routine is more for when you’ve been playing hard to get which I imagine with this one she already knows you want to bang her, so arranging a situation where she can impress you is probably the most efficient move.

      Or she could be a weird Jesus freak, who knows lol but give what I said a try.

on December 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Original Link

Garbage hour.

Do you plan to have kids? If not, you are an evolutional dead end. If you do, this particular kind of lifestyle is probably not the best way to become the kind of man who can properly raise kids.

Other than the gratification of the moment, where does this lead? What is the higher goal of pumping and dumping chicks you don’t really want to be around?

  • YaReally
    on December 17, 2012 at 5:48 pm
    Original Link

    Oh I’ll have kids. With your special snowflake wife when she cheats with me. And you’ll raise them without realizing it. And if you find out and divorce her we’ll blow your court-ordered money on a trip to Hawaii to bang on a beach.

    lol just kidding. …OR AM I.

    Realistically though, I don’t have a solution for this that I like yet. I’d like to have offspring for the sake of evolution and all that, and I could even raise a kid later in life probably, but MRA and MGTOW sites have clued me in to how insane actually getting married is and even just having kids is no guarantee you’ll get to raise them if a chick decides to take them away. Plus the whole child support thing where you go to jail if you lose your job and can’t make the $ you did when she took the kids. Not to mention that if she REALLY wants the kids and hates your guts, bam, fake molestation charges and you go to jail.

    Hell even with annonymous sperm donation you can be tracked down for child support if the court decides its in the best interest of the child.

    It’s like a slice of cake surrounded by spinning razor blades. Ya I’d like some cake but I don’t know if I want it THAT bad…maybe if some of those blades were removed it wouldn’t seem like such a crazy risk to go for.

    There doesn’t seem to be a way to have offspring and not play a seriously insane lop-sided 5-chambers-loaded game of Russian Roulette except to either find a decent chick, avoid any legal attachment to her, have a bastard kid together, then cross your fingers she isn’t in a bad mood or doesn’t get eat pray love fever for 18 years…or to do the scenario I listed above.

    And the fucked up part? There are plenty of girls who wouldn’t object to that scenario I described above. I’ve had the opportunity offered to me more than once.

    I’m curious to see if a ton of guys learning game and gaining MRA/MGTOW legal knowledge and avoiding marriage will cause society to go “huh maybe we should revisit these ridiculous laws now that men clued in to how foolish a contract this is.”

    In a way, not getting married or having kids, while possibly creating a generation of dramatically low population growth, could be the ultimate protest that actually gets shit changed for the next gen.

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 7:16 am
      Original Link

      “At least as long as they donate to a sperm bank.”

      Interesting, I didn’t realize there was this nuance to it. It sounds like the “suing a donor for CS” cases are from non-clinic related arrangements that happened a while back since I guess it was harder to get jizz from a bank back in the day (I imagine it’s like a McDonald’s drive-thru now lol).

      Then there’s guys like this lol:

      Time to do more research and maybe revisit the sperm back + vasectomy combo idea lol thanks for sharing.

      hmmm…82 YaReallys running around the globe banging all your daughters, what a world THAT would be lol

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm
      Original Link

      I will name that grandchild King A.

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm
      Original Link

      “Rather than doing the things necessary to bend the institutions of society and culture to your will”

      “and you are a bottom feeder.”

      “but rather than personally doing something about their predicament they 1) whine and 2) engage in “activism,” i.e., cathartic, collective, and impotent releases of energy signifying nothing.”

      “they meep and mope like girls about how unfair the world is.”

      “Yes, indeed, feminism is unfair. What are they doing about it, except “organizing” and talking to themselves about how unfair everything is?”

      “Every single person who complains about how awful their lives are can suck a dick”

      Please tell us what you did this week to bend the institutions of society and culture to your will and fix society for everyone. Did you watch a video of a dog pooping on a baby on YouTube? Type some angry rants about how much stupider everyone is than you on a message board somewhere? When will we see the street and parade dedicated to the amazing things you’ve done to further all the causes you think will fix things?

      Are you that guy who gave a speech in Toronto recently? Where are the books you’ve written trying to fix all these problems? When is the next rally, petition, or what-have-you where you’re going to change laws or have you created the magical brainwashing device that you’re going to brainwash women into behaving better with yet? Drawn up some schematics for it? Where can we see this massive body of work you’ve done to create all this change you want us to do for you?

      …or rather than personally doing something about this predicament are you just another bitter loser whining and engaging in impotent releases of energy signifying nothing?

      You don’t have to answer that, we all know the answer. It’s nice that you feel like you’re important on an internet blog though, that’ll make you feel real good about yourself before you spend the rest of your night watching TV thinking about how much better than everyone you are. lol

Persistence: The Underrated Alpha Male Quality

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 18, 2012 at 9:43 am
Original Link

Is it weird that I sometimes experience pangs of envy when I read these Game posts?

They always assume a wide network of friends or some veneer of social proof regarding the would-be alpha male. For someone like me who literally has no friends, it is disheartening to experiment with pick-up only to be forced into the same conclusion after every failure. It seems to me that social proof and pre-selection are the most essential and important factors in attracting women.

In the example given in this article, the dude’s persistence paid off only after his social grace was paired with social proof of being seen cavorting with high-status males and presumably highly desirable women. If it were me, mingling alone at some party, I could be just as solid with the pick-up mechanics and alpha foundation, but the absence of any kind of social proof would have hampered any progress.

Its not that I’m opposed to making friends or whatever, but when you’re in late-20’s and working most of the day, with all the inherent responsibilities and obligations of being an adult, it just seems like such an insurmountable task. I know a lot of you guys live in big sexy metropolitan areas where there are infinite social opportunities. I live in a tri-state urban/suburban community where most of the women resemble Mrs. Petraeus and teh men are middle-aged squares and hyperbetas, or the younger girls resemble Snooki clones with smellier asses and the dudes are overcompensating meathead proles.

It’s gotten to the point where I’ve given up on Game and am now focused on saving my pennies to maybe-hopefully-please-God be able to afford to move to a place where I can actually meet women. The expense of living where I am currently is so high that I probably won’t even be close until I’m in my late 30’s. Fucking depressing.

I know that tight game can surmount many obstacles, but preselection is a serious barrier to entry. Really hot chicks simply aren’t going to slum it with someone who has no perceived social status, no matter if he looks like JFK Jr. and talks like Casanova. Even more frustrating is the paradox of improving game; the more women that want you, the more women will want you. But if you live in virtual social isolation, its like women don’t even exist in your world. What do you call someone who has the potential to score well with women but has no women in his life? Greater omega? lol

  • Fascinated
    on December 18, 2012 at 11:57 am
    Original Link

    Ok, I am going to risk being shot down here by risking an honest reply, from a woman’s perspective. It sounds like you are a nice guy who wants to meet decent woman, as opposed to another type on here, who seem just really angry and hateful.

    You’ve gotta get out, man! I don’t know where you live but there has got to be some cool stuff going on. I am not talking about the club scene or hitting on girls in parks. Broaden your range of interests and pursue them.

    Specifically, I would suggest you google ukulele class or club. That has become a hot thing, the players tend to be women, some of them sweet young things. (Also some older… but, they often have daughters that are having trouble finding a nice guy… (I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt because I didn’t see the any of the endearing phrases like “cumdumpster.) Ukulele has the benefit of being very easy to learn but can be taken as far as you want (check out Jake Shimabukuro doing “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” Or think Brother Izzy on “Somewhere over the Rainbox.”

    Ok, sorry for the uke proselytizing. But, really, it could be anything. Do you have a dog? Agility clubs. Wanna learn another language? Italian for beginners.” You get the idea.

    Anything you do to keep learning new things that can get you out and about meeting people is going to help. Good luck.

    • YaReally
      on December 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm
      Original Link

      lol’ed SO hard at the Ukelele recommendation and how it’s all the rage now. I feel so out of the loop of what’s hip with the kids these days!

  • YaReally
    on December 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm
    Original Link

    “What do you call someone who has the potential to score well with women but has no women in his life?”

    Someone who needs a gameplan. Allow me to provide one for you. Don’t skim this post, read every word:

    Month 1:
    1) Go to a bar on a Friday night. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls WITHOUT trying to fuck them, just talk about plain normal small-talk (for guys talk about sports/chicks/videogames, for girls talk about relationship advice (pretend you have a girlfriend, this’ll disqualify you as someone hitting on them so they won’t be as on guard or bitchy to you)/congratulate them on whatever b’day, wedding, etc. they’re celebrating/ask them where the bathroom is or for directions to another bar where your “girlfriend” is waiting etc.) and exchange names. Do the same with 1 or 2 bartenders and/or waitresses and/or shooter girls, who are paid to be friendly to you. If anyone asks where your friends are, say they’re coming later but you got there too early, and if anyone asks you where your friends are later in the night, say they got too drunk and stayed in but you hate staying in so you figured you’d come out for a drink. Leave as soon as you finish your 10 sets. For a mixed set of multiple guys/girls, every person you exchange names with in that group counts toward your 10 sets.

    2) Next weekend go to the same bar. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls and say hello to any of the people there who you talked to last week and chat with the same bartenders/waitresses/etc. as last week.

    3) Next weekend go to the same bar. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls and say hello to any of the people there who you talked to last week and chat with the same staff as last week.

    4) Next weekend go to the same bar. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls and say hello to any of the people there who you talked to last week and chat with the same staff as last week.

    Congratulations. It’s one month from you reading this very post right this minute. You spent 1-4 hours of each week for a total maximum of about 16 hours of your entire 672 hour month, and you have 40 people who, even if only 25% of them are regulars, gives you a solid 10 people who frequent the bar on Fridays since people are creatures of habit and like to go to their favorite bars, and they know you by name and you can make small talk or flirt with them for social proof.

    For month 2, do the same thing, but do it on Saturday night as well, at a different bar.

    Now you have two bars where you have a total of anywhere from around 10-80 people who recognize you enough to say “Hey what’s up man, how’s it going, this place is crazy tonight hey?” or do a shot together or what-have-you. You also have anywhere from 4-16 staff members who recognize you and know you by name and will occasionally give you free shots if they’re male bartenders or come up to you and flirt/grope you if they’re female shooter girls.

    Do that for 6 months and in half a year you own your city’s downtown nightlife.

    Don’t drink more than a beer or two when you’re out, save your money to move to a bigger city with a better nightlife. Also consider getting a roommate where you are now, or moving in with a roommate in a bigger city.

    While you save your money up to move, you can enjoy the fruits of your socializing labor in your current city when whatever cute chicks ARE around want to suck your dick because you seem to be the most important high-value guy in the city who knows people at every bar.

    Guess what you’re going to do after you move? Same shit, except you’ll be even better and smoother at it because you’ll have done it once before. 4-8 hours of your week for a few months in your new city and you’ll have all the social proof and pre-selection you could ask for, in a city where you have a better selection of hotties to fuck.

    Make the first month your New Years resolution and start on either New Years Eve or the weekend right after NYE. Don’t miss a single weekend unless it’s an emergency. By summer you will have the shit you currently envy and don’t realize is COMPLETELY within your grasp.

    Good luck! Post Field Reports. :)

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 6:48 pm
      Original Link

      Glad to be able to help!

      I don’t know if Falconer will give it a go, I’m not sure from his writing that he’s quite hit rock bottom enough to execute it. When you take away all of someone’s excuses suddenly, they either go “oh…well fuck, I guess I’ll do it then!” or they come up with new excuses to replace the ones that were taken away and avoid getting started. Like when you show a fat person “look it’s calories in, calories out. Done. Fix your shit.” and they go “……umm well, I have a thyroid problem so…” “Oh really, have you had that diagnosed?” “No I just know that must be what it is.” “sigh…enjoy being fat forever then.”

      But I figured I’d share it ’cause the gameplan could be useful for other new guys reading this who are stuck going out solo. I plan to spend next summer in a new city and I’ll be starting this up there as soon as my plane lands (well, a little more hardcore version of it lol).

Older Moms And Divorced Moms Raising Generation Of Psychopaths?

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Original Link

Any time one of these mass shootings happen now, I only have to ask two questions:

1) Was this man getting laid?
2) If yes, was the woman semi attractive?

If both questions are ‘No’, then you know why the certain event came to fruition.

I know the problems are much deeper than that like mental disorders and deep seated emotional pain, however I still think that if the man was getting hot ass, he would be like you know what ‘I like fucking decent pussy and I’m not giving that up’ and not go through with his plan.

Prostitution and the destigmization of said activity would radically drop these pyscho mass murdering events.

  • YaReally
    on December 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm
    Original Link

    Tyler put it something like: “It’s amazing how many of these issues, depression, suicide, stress, anger issues, drug addiction, alcohol abuse, etc. suddenly vanish once a guy starts regularly getting laid. :P”

    It’s hard for women and guys who’ve had even a little success with women (let alone a Natural who gets laid a lot) to wrap their head around the mental mind-fuck of someone going 20-30+ *YEARS* of their entire life, from childhood all the way to mid-adult-hood, with no one ever touching them (girls are hugged, touched, etc. by their female friends, a guy with only a few male friends and no female friends can end up having no reassuring/loving human touch available when he’s down or stressed etc.) or wanting them in any romantic way. Not just “not the ones I want” and not just “some jerk who broke my heart” but literally no one. And then on top of it, actually desperately wanting and wishing for that but being told you’re a horrible perverted loser for wanting it and that you should just cross your fingers and hope for the universe to throw you a mediocre bone (meanwhile the girls telling you that are reading Cosmo’s “50 tips to land a guy” while everyone grrrl-power rah rahs them for it), while you watch everyone else around you getting into relationships, settling down, having kids, throwing away relationships you dream of having, etc. which all remind you of what you’ll probably never have. And then on top of that, if you dare try to improve yourself, you’re scorned as a liar, a fake, scum, manipulator, etc. etc. and that you should just accept your place at the bottom of the barrel in life (“hey, some guys have it some don’t, it’s that simple”), till you get to the point where you literally start to think that you’re going to go your entire life alone and unloved and die alone and depressed.

    It’s not real hard to imagine that being a pretty fucking big factor in the whole “he was a quiet guy who kept to himself” profile of a lot of guys who snap.

    I’m not saying pussy is the cure-all for every mental issue a guy has, but I’d prefer a guy go accidentally creep out a few girls in a bar with a fuzzy hat and a Horse Girl opener and spend his time reading self-improvement shit, rather than spending his time stockpiling guns so he can go mow down an elementary class “shooting each child up to 11 times”. Man that’s fucked up.

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 4:00 pm
      Original Link

      “teaching Game to meek, quiet spergs saves lives.”

      On the note of spergs, from what I know about the disease (which isn’t much lol), old-school routine game seems like something that would actually be useful to them because it breaks down “when someone says blah blah, you respond with this, when someone does such and such action, it means they’re feeling like this” and gives them solid signals to look for and patterns/routines to respond with. Not necessarily to turn them into super players or anything, but to at least help them learn to get by in a social society.

      I wonder if there’s a market for someone to translate the social dynamics parts of PUA routine-based game into politically correct MSM-approved general socializing, specifically designed to help parents with Aspie kids learn how to blend in. Or even normal shy kids…like a book a parent would approve of and could give them that wasn’t focused on just getting pussy but on like making friends at school etc. for the kids who just have no idea how social interactions work.

      The MSM blue-pill types tend to react with hostility when you reduce something as wonderful and special as human interaction down to a simple predictible flow-chart though lol

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 12:54 am
      Original Link

      lol that’s usually how it goes with 1) Naturals and 2) people who fell ass-backwards into getting tons of pussy.

      In the case of 1) they often learn through a lifetime of partying to build connections between their success and alcohol/drugs/etc. so to them quitting self-destructive behaviors like that (much like changing your “lucky socks” during a winning streak in sports) is risking fucking with the “magic” even if they know they really should quit. Add to that the stress of med school/work shit (I have some med buddies and they get tanked blackout hardcore when they go out…I imagine the docs handling that school shooting got hammered after a day of dealing with dead children).

      In the case of 2) it’s like the lottery winner who’s so used to being poor that they can’t make the mental shift into being rich or don’t feel they deserve it and they actively sabotage their own good fortune and subconsciously punish themselves until they end up poor again.

      Both cases are pretty sad. The best Natural I’ve ever met’s life is not one anyone would envy outside of he hotties he gets lol he’s starting to learn to get his life together but Tyler talks about the “Charlie Sheen” effect here, he’s trapped in a short-term mating strategy (I get stuck in it myself when I go out a lot too, got to learn that balance/shift between work and play):

      This is part of why despite how weird some of the guys the PUA community churns out are, most of the top instructors advocate 1) handling the rest of the shit in your life while you learn pickup (same idea as MGTOW guys except with time set aside to learn to get pussy on top of the working out and setting career goals etc), and 2) not drinking or doing drugs.

      Some instructors don’t really care about people doing number 2, and some of them drink and do drugs themselves (like Jeffy from RSD), but guys like Tyler & Julien (and recently Brad) from RSD don’t drink much if at all and it would be odd for day game instructors to have to get loaded before they go out to a mall to game lol

      The main thing is regardless of their personal relationship with that stuff, when they teach newbies they stress not to go get shit-faced if you want to learn game because it fucks your brain up and you need that thing to be working proper to take in all the reference experiences you’re collecting and to bring to the surface strategic game plans for getting the lay…otherwise you’re just going out and poisoning yourself and crossing your fingers you get laid, and that’s not learning pickup that’s just being every other guy out there.

      So I like their approach to teaching because I think it forges healthier mindsets in newbies who are putting themselves in a lot of party environments. I myself don’t do any drugs and I have big drinking nights but I know going in that those won’t be productive at all in terms of game lol. Most nights I keep it to 1-3 drinks just to make bartenders/managers not hate me.

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 1:04 am
      Original Link

      I meant to add to scenario 2) there that in terms of having financial problems and insecurities etc vs just external substance abuse, that stuff comes from that same idea of “I didn’t really earn this so I didn’t build the skills necessary to handle it or to feel good about it” so you get that internally fucked up shit going on or a lack of discipline with managing money etc. and since they’re getting success they don’t NEED to develop those skills…so your buddy getting poon left and right has no real reason to get self-introspective and decide the learn to overcome his insecurity, because he’s getting rewarded by the universe for being fucked up.

      Again another benefit to the community. Since we’re often nerdy guys without much going for us, thus the lack of success, we HAVE to fix our internal mental shit to get consistent success or we’re back to square one.

      Tyler says something like “you’re only as smart as you NEED to be. Does a smokin hot girl with fake tits NEED to be smart? No, the world will hand her everything, it’s not her fault she’s dumb or a shitty person, she has no reason to BE smart or work on her personality. An ugly short balding ginger like me? I have to be VERY FUCKING SMART to get girls.” lol

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 4:30 am
      Original Link

      Nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting now and then to make someone’s day. :) I flirt with fatties occasionally lol

      But it’s trickier for girls to do this because creeper beta guys are retarded and get obsessive and don’t understand that a flirty hello doesn’t mean you want them to stalk you at work and murder your boyfriend so you can be together lol

Dreams of the Future Past

Original Link

via Rational Male

on December 17, 2012 at 1:57 am
Original Link

I think this is an important topic, and a well-written and accurate breakdown, good stuff Rollo.

A lot of PUAs actually hope we don’t HAVE to teach our kid any of this shit, that we can simply lead by example as they grow up and naturally pick up how social dynamics work. This road was hard as fuck, I wish people didn’t have to go down it, but this is like a transitional generation with the Internet and The Game and the Manosphere and everything…it was either consciously study this or be oblivious. Hopefully as red-pill dialog spreads, future generations are able to avoid a lot of the shit the MGTOW types (the ones who turned to MGTOW after being burned, at least) went through because the social brainwashing of feminism doesn’t hold up as well when men can communicate with eachother over the net and compare notes and go “wow what they’re telling us doesn’t jive with ANY of our experiences, maybe I should question it.”

To me, it’s sad that PUA is still shit on so much (it’s partly the PUA industry’s fault, don’t get me wrong lol) because videos like this, reworded a bit to leave out the pickup angle and focus on the relationship angle, might really help a situation like this:

They approach the idea of being on your path from the angle of “keep growing and being high value as a man because once you stop giving a shit about yourself your girl is going to look for someone worth her time.” which, while arguably a supplicative notion (improving yourself to get validation from pussy instead of for yourself as a man), is a decent way to get the idea into the head of an 18yo with one-itis who’s young dumb and full of cum.

I would probably approach it like “look I know you want to wait for your girl and that’s cool, but how long do you think she’s going to stay with a guy who’s decided she isn’t worth trying to better himself and become a good provider who she can respect and look up to as a man? Do you think she’s going to come home from her college class to see you sitting on the couch playing x-box and think “this is the man I want to build a lasting future with”? Or do you think she’d rather see you handling your shit and showing her that she can trust you to take care of her when she needs it?”

Yes, this is putting “pussy on a pedestal” and yes, it could still all blow up in the kid’s face down the road for a ton of reasons that relationships don’t work out, but right now the kid has pedestalized securing a steady source of sex/love, so approaching it from that angle might resonate with him better than old angry guys telling him how their wives screwed them over (he’ll just think their wives were evil sluts and those men were stupider than him, it’s human nature).

I mean, even if the kid DOES stall his college life for a year to wait for her AND moves to where she goes to college, fuck it that’s not a big deal, lots of people take a year or so off before they start college and lots of people move to random cities to start their life up, those aren’t fatal situations even if she ditched him once he moved there and put school off for a year.

The important thing is getting into his head “ya, go ahead and wait for her before you start your journey, BUT when you get to wherever you two end up, make sure you START your journey and become a man she can be proud to be with.”

Down the road he can learn about the red-pill the same way most guys do…but at least he’ll be on a path to a decent life instead of wasting 5 years playing Xbox lol

on December 17, 2012 at 2:06 am
Original Link

Oop only one of the videos showed up, both have a similar message relevant to this situ though so check em out.

Also as much as the Dane Cook flick My Best Friend’s Girl takes a gay Hollywood turn at the end, there’s a good quote in it by Alec Baldwin (Cook’s dad in the flick): “See I always knew your mom was the best it was ever going to get for me. And I never asked the more important question which is, was I the best it was ever going to get for her?”

Could be worth a watch for the kid and his gf since its a recent rom-com, and they repeat that line a couple times in it. Might get him thinking.

Confronting Vs Ignoring A Manipulative Girlfriend

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 14, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Original Link

“You can do whatever you like Babe, you’re single now.” and walk out and ignore her calls/txts for a couple weeks.

You don’t need the explanation, I’ve just always wanted to use it lol

Details on the art of the Soft Next:

  • immoralgables
    on December 14, 2012 at 9:31 pm
    Original Link

    This is the kind of shit I was looking for. Good looks YR.

    Question for you. Whats the most devastating way you have broken up with a girl?

    • YaReally
      on December 14, 2012 at 9:57 pm
      Original Link

      No dramatic stories, sorry. I’ve only legit broken up with a few serious girls and they were sad events to me.

      In general I keep my relationships casual enough that there’s no need for a breakup…It’s completely in her control whether we hang out again because I can get other girls. As long as she’s drama-free and fun and a good lay, I welcome her into my life. If she fucks any of those up (acting out in jealousy over my lifestyle, being too depressing/pessimistic in general, letting herself get fat or stopping dressing up when I see her etc), I just don’t put in any effort to keep the relationship going or contact her until either she’s gone from my life or she smartens up and gets with the program. And if she fixes whatever caused me to stop putting effort into her, she’s welcome back into my life, I don’t really hold grudges, I love women and would love for them to all be in my life…like I say it’s completely in their control. A lot of them have trouble wrapping their head around that concept at first lol

      The funny part to me is that the super serious monogamous girls I broke up with, I’ll never hear from again or keep in touch with or bang again because it’s too much drama and too devestating to them etc. whereas the casual fuckbuddies I’ve cut out, I’ll occasionally run into months/years later or keep in touch with and we’ll fuck around together. I find that funny in a way, that the girls I cared about the most are the ones I won’t see again after a breakup lol

      These days it’s not even a game tactic for me, I just don’t accept that type of behavior because I only like positive happy fun people in my life in general. I’ll cut out guys, casual acquaintances, family members, etc if they cross my boundaries, life is too short to waste on people acting shitty. Except for on here, cause I’m here to teach men learning game and that’s worth putting up with some douches lol

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 2:14 am
      Original Link

      lol women go through phases of riding the cock carousel and wanting monogamy. Do you really think the girls I mentioned have been and/or will be completely monogamous for their entire life? Or, like all human beings, they’ll go through different phases depending on their needs and goals at the time?

      No you’re right, these ones just had the magic Madonna fairy dust sprinkled on them that sluts don’t get sprinkled on them. That’s much more logical.

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 2:17 am
      Original Link

      “I doubt she’d want to see him if he really hurt her.”

      I’m certain Rhianna would agree with you. It’s amazing that the amount of time you spend here tou haven’t learned anything. Lol this is why smart guys ignore the advice of women when it comes to attracting them.

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 2:26 am
      Original Link


      Could you please tell us some more about what PUA is about and how PUAs think and feel? Because as a PUA who knows a shit-load of PUAs, I definitely think that your opinion as someone who isn’t a PUA and has never studied PUA and who has the opposite genetilia from 99% of the people who are PUAs, must be completely and totally accurate and you should definitely feel like the most important smartest princess in the universe. Could you tell us how to build a space shuttle next? I’m sure you’re not a rocket scientist but your opinion on that is probably far more valuable than the opinions of rocket scientists.

      I love all the women I fuck, hell sometimes we even love to hate eachother lol. But 1) I can love more than one woman at a time and it doesn’t affect my feelings for the other women…you don’t love your mom less because you love your dad or love your daughter less because you love her sister or love your newborn baby less because you love your husband, that’s silly. And 2) I may love them for just a few hours or for the rest of their lives, there’s no specific amount of love you can have for people, and 3) I know that expressing that love has to be done in a very specific slow manner doled out in little doses here and there, to avoid blowing the relationship up and to keep a woman attracted for a longer period of time rather than blowing my love load all over her face at once (lol).

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 12:19 am
      Original Link


      lol it’s REALLY frustrating to you when people (both men AND women) are happy 1) in ways you don’t approve of and 2) in ways you are not.

      Keep playing judge, jury and executioner with everyone else’s lives, it’s a lot less depressing than honestly objectively looking at your own lack of satisfaction you’re venting out here.

on December 14, 2012 at 9:51 pm
Original Link

Is this for real? Is the guy really asking about this? Just put your foot down. Seriously put her in her place(not necessarily beating), how hard is that to do he needs “game” advice. No offense but I find it ridiculous that he needs advice on how to handle this.But then again I do call my man master, however I still cannot believe such a common concern is being put on this blog.

  • YaReally
    on December 14, 2012 at 10:00 pm
    Original Link

    Maybe you should go to a different blog then. We’re discussing shit men have to learn to handle here, no one cares how stupid you think it is or that you like clamps on your nipples. Get a Livejournal.

  • avd
    on December 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm
    Original Link

    Twerps are cute, like little scat packages on the carpet. Your comment is legitimate. Why not just put her in her place (hold the boundaries of your own reality)? This approach is much more efficient than the vagaries of “game.”

    “I find it ridiculous that he needs advice on how to handle this.” A reasonable observation. If one’s testosterone is flowing freely, then why should one need youtube clips of someone else to figure this out? Obviously, they do, hence this blog. But to point out the redundancy of it is fair, and not deserving of sniveling loser snark. Better to post an RSD youtube clip to school us all.

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 2:11 am
      Original Link

      brb going to a pregnancy message board and posting “why do you girls all bitch about birthing pain, god, just take some Advil that’s what I do when I have a sprained ankle. My wife didn’t have a problem with the pain it’s ridiculous you girls are even exchanging advice about this lol” and expecting anyone to waste effort engaging me in a rational discussion.

      Thank god you’re here to point out what a meany-pants I am.

Ace Haley
on December 15, 2012 at 12:41 am
Original Link

It’s better to just dump her although I know that’s hard for a lot of guys to do. I didn’t have the guts to end it with my last gf for 2 weeks until I finally just said “fuck it…”

I had to do it and dudes themselves should do it more often.

  • happycrow
    on December 15, 2012 at 1:28 am
    Original Link

    Yup, ace. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. Keepers? Hey, that’s a different commodity altogether. I don’t suffer fools gladly — check that, I don’t suffer fools AT ALL. But a keeper who’s having a bad day gets much more slack from me, until they do something which demonstrates that they’re not one. CH talks a lot about pointless women, not so much about the fish worth NOT throwing back, but it makes a difference.

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 6:23 am
      Original Link

      “YaReally is surely alpha, but is he necessarily the embodiment of Alpha male in all of it’s purest form?”

      Obviously. lol

grand magus
on December 15, 2012 at 7:33 pm
Original Link

Here’s a LTR situation for ya’ll weooo~!!

There’s 2 clubs and one restaurant that’s owned by the same guy. He’s pulling a contest where he will be taking 8 people from the big club, 2 ppl from the smaller lounge (where I & gf work) and 2 from the restaurant.

Remember those golden stars you got in school if you did something good? That’s what we will be doing here. Starting in the New Year (trip is March break to Mexico) they will put a board up, whoever has the most stars after a month (work ethic etc etc) wins.

Anyfuckingwho, the reason why I know this is because my gf came into my work yesterday all tits n giddy saying I have a really good chance of winning this trip to Mexico omg1!!

I’m like, what trip? explain? So she tells me (without telling me that you have to ‘earn’ your way – not just a random draw) and I go without hesitation saying “that’s great babe, but just know if you go, I won’t be here when you get back.” She balked a bit, and made a really fucked excuse by saying if so and so goes they can keep an eye on me! (I’m paraphrasing but I’m callin spade a spade here)

So here we are – this fucking trip is inevitable – bitch will win regardless, they need a hot blonde bar slut with low self esteem for parties etc, which is her.

Clearly what I told her (I’ll leave you if you go without me) hasn’t registered in her 20yr old hamster, as just last night, and I’m sure tonight, she couldn’t fucking help herself not talk about the contest/trip and that she’ll hopefully win and “what if we both win!?!?!”….

This is impending fucking doom. This bitch will be a disposable cum rag for 4 nights and 5 days over there, not to mention the drugs. She’s crazy about me, but that doesn’t mean shit these days.

Here’s the kick: bitch clearly doesn’t care – why should I?

  • YaReally
    on December 17, 2012 at 6:38 am
    Original Link

    lol it’s your fault how it turned out, not hers. She just reacted to your lack of authority/discipline. You Nexted without actually Nexting her.

    “that’s great babe, but just know if you go, I won’t be here when you get back.”

    followed by:

    “as just last night, and I’m sure tonight, she couldn’t fucking help herself not talk about the contest/trip”

    …why the fuck are you talking to her? lol

    “Clearly what I told her (I’ll leave you if you go without me) hasn’t registered in her 20yr old hamster”

    It didn’t register because your ultimatum didn’t carry any weight because you didn’t walk away or kick her out right there:

    Also see 3 minutes into this video:

    You basically pulled the equivalent of:

    (dad driving a car): “If you kids don’t settle down I’m turning this car around RIGHT NOW.”
    (kids): “(not settling down)”

    Now she knows when you give her ultimatums like that, that you don’t REALLY mean it and she can weasel around it and basically your word/rules mean shit and she’ll know in the future that she can keep breaking them.

Confronting Vs Ignoring A Manipulative Girlfriend

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 17, 2012 at 7:02 am
Original Link

Checking in…huge step backwards. I’m noticing more and more that state control is probably my biggest problem. It’s weird, I’m starting to view social interactions the same way I view poker hands…just trying to find, then fix leaks and maximize EV, lol.

Anyway, had a party for a friend of my social group’s over the weekend, and — now that I’m aware of the manosphere — I kinda realize that this friend of ours, in the way she acts toward me, doesn’t respect me as a man. I never really noticed before, but now that I’m paying attention, it’s very strange. I mean, this was just a friendly interaction, so I’m not trying to ‘game’ hardcore or anything, but I am trying to at least present more of a confident persona.

So we’re at this bar, sitting at two tables, and I’m having a long, fun chat with these three girls who are also in the social circle, but more distant from the core group. But almost every damned time I make a successful joke or get the attention of everyone in a positive way, frenemy is sure to talk shit. Like, without fail. And then, I notice that the stuff she’s saying sort of mirrors the one-off critiques I got the other night — it always boils down to something like ‘you’re gay’ ‘your outfit sucks,’ and then something along the lines of being a snob — which flat-out isn’t true, everyone I know says I’m one of the most down-to-earth people they’ve met. She teases all the guys in the group, but from her to me it’s way different. I attempt to use the whole ‘two second alpha stare’ on her remarks….which PISSES her off even more! Eventually, she actively starts trying to get the other girls around her in on the shit talking.

At this point, I kinda break and start reacting way more. Not in an angry way, but you know…like…in that way where I’m somehow justifying myself. I count the experience as a good thing though, because slowly I’m starting to see that these skills apply to most every area of life. So much of how you’re treated seems to boil down to how people perceive your SMV to be.

Office Holiday Party at the Club

Setting is simple — we get a booth at a pretty nice club. When we get there my plan is to just hang out with the work group for like half an hour to hour before peeling off to hit on EVERY hot girl in the club. I know it’s going to be an uphill battle because the club is a country-ish club (line dancing on the floor, but lots of normal club music mixed in with the country music), and I ain’t a cowboy. So….at the dinner beforehand I had two budlights. At the club, while hanging out with the office, I had a like one and a half vodka orangejuices. I dunno what happened, but I felt like I got hit by a tranq dart. Not drunk, not buzzed, just tranquilized.

But, I managed to stick to the plan — somewhat — and make two approaches. The first approach was at the bar and consisted of ‘hey!’ (energy level way too high), and hb 8 nodding with an ‘wwwtttfff’ smile ‘uhhh hey!’ My mind was foggy so I said something stupid about seeing some lady trip in the middle of the line dancing. And she was like ‘what?! No way…’ And then I nodded (way too fast, so eager to get approval!) ‘Yeah, I helped her up…’ Now she turns toward me ‘wow that was really nice of you.’ Before I can think of anything to say….this big guy comes to the bar and puts his arm around her. Inward wince, I give it up almost immediately.

I see a legit hb 9 with two lady friends — probably a 5 and 4 respectively — just standing near the dancefloor, watching, and I walk up to them and say ‘hey, how are you guys doing?’ I was feeling kinda shitty over the last set and pretty much made the approach a cheesy pickup line. One of the friends looked — the 4 — and said, ‘we’re fine.’ But she said it dismissively. And at that point, I just gave it up for the night.

So…..I think really, I just need to nail down this ‘irrational self-confidence at all times’ thing.

  • YaReally
    on December 17, 2012 at 8:00 am
    Original Link

    I dropped a massive response to your other Field Report as a Reply to:

    Should show up today sometime when WordPress decides it loves me again and finally shows it lol

    I got work to do right now but I’ll give this one a breakdown too. An off night sucks, but don’t worry, nothing you’ve written in this Field Report or the last is unfixable, even though it usually feels pretty demoralizing/hopeless when you’re playing the night back in your head without a clear idea of what’s happening or how to fix it.

    This is why on PUA boards we write Field Reports, they’re not about bragging (well, some guys’ are lol), they’re so other PUAs can chime in with fresh unemotional 3rd-person perspectives and go “here’s where you went wrong, man! (explain explain explain) Get it? Next time try Such and Such!” and help get the guy heading down a path to fixing his sticking points.

    A large combination of men passionately working together toward a single goal is pretty fucking powerful. I think that’s part of what freaks the blue pill crowd out about pickup, like “o shit the menz are pulling down the curtain and we can’t stop it!! quick, demonize them in the MSM so no one pays attention!!” Like Leiningen watching the ants sacrifice their bodies as bridges in the water ditch so the other ants can crawl over them…”o shit, they’re organized now” lol

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 4:24 am
      Original Link

      Yup, you’ve got it!

      “as I was talking about it….I just ignored the impulse to quiet my emotions and how I felt. Instead, I was just like ‘well, I guess I’m fucking wrong here man…I just really hate being wrong when I analyze shit, it pisses me right the fuck off.” While it’s just an outburst I allowed myself to have, and yeah, it’s revealing vulnerability to a friend…I feel like that’s a good thing.”

      Good stuff. That’s what I’m talking about in this post where your actual Identity is just shackled up right now, and that it might surprise you down the road when you start seeing who you REALLY are:

      Guys and girls are usually surprised at how open a book I am with people I’ve just met. I’ll show all sorts of vulnerabilities and hold up my weaknesses for people to see, it’s all good to me. That’s just expressing who I am and people appreciate authenticity…and once you show them “look at my faults, we don’t have to pretend we’re perfect here, I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me” they’re almost relieved to be able to take off the mask for a bit and share their own faults and beliefs and feelings with me and you build a real legitimate connection with the person instead of a surface level one that a lot of people have.

      This is part of why people who hang out with me feel like they’ve known me for years. They’ share stuff with me that only their closest best friends t know about them so it feels like we know eachother the way they know their closest best friends they’ve spent years building a relationship with, except I’ve only known them for a couple hours.

      This whole authentic expression thing is REALLY powerful in the high-end social circles, where everyone is full of shit trying to impress eachother and put on some bravado and try to look perfect and flawless. Everyone’s sipping their wine all “yes, this wine is quite exquisite!” (meanwhile they don’t even LIKE drinking wine) and then I come in and shit all over the social etiquette in a charismatic fun way and show them that tonight, right here and right now, it’s okay to be retarded, and next thing you know those wine and cheese types are doing hooter-shooters of JD off the waitress’ tits with me, relieved to be able to let down their mask and really be themselves lol

      Compare that to if I tried to throw on a suit and play the wine and cheese discussion game and run around in the “let’s try to impress everyone” rat race that I can’t possibly win because it’s all bullshit posturing to begin with. I suck them into my frame instead of letting them suck me into theirs…Strongest frame always wins. :)

      “But, another thing I’ve gained is mad respect for a few of my friends. I think I’m lucky to be in a social circle of well-connected, cool guys that make a point of randomly approaching women. ”

      You have no IDEA how lucky that is lol I ran solo game for years not because I wanted to but because I didn’t know any guys who wanted to go out and pick up, or any guys that were cool enough to actually keep up with the shit I was learning to do. I knew plenty of guys who’d stand around at the bar critiquing the hotness level of the girls that go by without actually talking to any of them lol It’s only the past couple years that I’ve had access to a solid core group of buddies who like to hit on girls at the bar. Going out solo tightened up my game a lot but man do I not miss it lol

  • YaReally
    on December 17, 2012 at 4:06 pm
    Original Link

    My posts still haven’t shown up yet (sigh), so check the last couple articles in a day or two for a shitload of knowledge bombs being dropped in your face lol. Anyway, now on to this one, which will probably make more sense after you read the one that hasn’t shown up yet…if this one shows up, fuck it, who knows what you’ll get to read and when! lol

    “I’m noticing more and more that state control is probably my biggest problem.”

    That’ll stick around for a while. I recommend working on one or two things at a time, and state control is a pretty big one to tackle and the easiest time TO tackle it is when you have a solid foundation going. ie – if being internally validated involves having a “delusional sense of coolness” and fully believing you’re awesome, it’s a lot easier to do that when you’ve picked a few girls up or really nailed your body language down or achieved your workout goals etc. and have something you can logically base that on. This all depends on the type of learning method you resonate with and how hardcase a newbie you are and what your goals are, etc.

    Viewing it like you view maximizing poker hands means you’re probably a pretty rational/analytical guy and you’ll probably do well with the analytical/strategic approach to this (VS the drill sergeant style “Man up and get in there you pussy!!” stuff that’s popular in the community these days). It honestly might not be the fastest route for getting quick results, but a slower learning strategy that you feel comfortable and in control with is a lot better than a faster learning strategy that feels like you’re just riding a roller-coaster hoping something useful sticks in your brain.

    “I kinda realize that this friend of ours, in the way she acts toward me, doesn’t respect me as a man.”

    Welcome to seeing The Matrix around you. :) You’re going to notice a lot of stuff like this where you’re like “wow, how did I not notice this before? It’s so obvious now!!” I see a lot of stuff in people’s personalities/actions that my normal non-gamer friends are completely oblivious to, and it’s like a flashing neon sign to me. It can give you a minor feeling of omnipotence at times, which feels pretty good…like when you know you have the nuts in poker and that the other guy has no idea he can’t possibly have the hand he’s trying to bluff lol

    “But almost every damned time I make a successful joke or get the attention of everyone in a positive way, frenemy is sure to talk shit. Like, without fail.”

    Okay so here’s an unfortunate reality that trying to learn game will shove in your face: The people around you (even your BEST friends and family) don’t necessarily want you to become better (or more accurately they don’t want you to “change”). There are a few reasons for it and they’re not necessarily malicious, they’re just like, human nature basically:

    1) “Crabs in a bucket” syndrome, where if you have a bunch of crabs in a bucket and one starts crawling out, the others will pull him back down so they’re all stuck there together. This is like when one guy in a group of burnout pot-head buddies cuts out the pot so he can go to law school, and his buddies are all “you’ve changed man, why are you selling out like this, you used to be cool”.

    Part of the reason people do this is that you’re fucking with their life (ie – someone they relied/counted on to play a certain role in their life is leaving that role and they feel a lack of control because of it which is scary), part of it is jealousy (ie – how come HE gets to succeed, he’s supposed to be our group loser, or he’s supposed to be like me and I’m not going to succeed so it’s not fair that he gets to succeed and I don’t and since I’m not going to put in the effort to come up to his level, I need to bring him back down to my level), part of it is that you working on yourself and getting success forces them to look at their own lack of success (ie – two fat friends, one works out constantly and gets in shape and the other one actively resents them for it because seeing them working out is a reminder that they don’t have the motivation/discipline to work out and change themselves too, so the in-shape guy’s success rubs the fat guy’s failure in their face), and part of it is that people don’t like having to re-label something (ie – you’re the shy quiet nerdy one, that they can count on to be shy quiet and nerdy…then you start being out-going loud and dressing cool. Well we can’t have THAT, or I’ll have to re-evaluate who you are as a person and re-label you, and I’ve already handled labelling you 10 years ago when we met and I’m used to that label, I don’t want to have to look at you different, I have other shit to do and that takes mental effort…”this isn’t YOU man, what are you doing? that’s not YOU dude, why are you being weird? Why are you wearing that? That’s not YOU.”).

    You may have noticed a running theme here…those reasons are all selfish as FUCK, and don’t involve having your best interests (the betterment of your life in general) at heart. Along the way you’ll actually learn who your legit REAL friends are, because those are the friends who are going to be going “awesome work buddy, glad you’re coming out of your shell now!” and “that new outfit looks great, you’ll lookin’ stylin’ these days!” and “hey man I’m passing by the gym, do you need a ride?” etc.

    The sad part is that often you’ll find that your legit friends are a lot fewer than you thought…often it’ll only be like 1-5 people in your social circle that really support you as you work on yourself. You’ll run into a lot of situations where you’re like “wow, I really thought this person was my friend but they’re trying to keep me down… :(” And, even more sad, you may have to cut some of these people out of your life, either for a while (till you’ve solidified your new Identity enough that they finally accept it), or forever if they’re really detrimental to your mental state…or at least keep them at arm’s length and avoid hanging out with them unless you have to.

    The good news is that down the road you won’t regret cutting any of them out of your life because you’ll be fully aware of how poisonous they really were and you’ll feel more bad for them than for you, because you’ll think “man, I really wish this person had been more supportive instead of being such a negative person, I really valued their friendship and they’re really missing out by not getting to be a part of my life.”

    The other good news is that ultimately “the strongest frame wins”. If you take on a new Identity, and you solidify that identity over time with all your reference experiences, and you really become that new Identity and all your behaviors, thoughts, actions, etc. align with it congruently, for a long enough period of time, a lot of those people who had trouble with you changing will come to accept the “new” you and end up back in your life but this time accepting you for who you’ve become instead of trying to get you to stay in the label they had you in. It’s like your reality wins over theirs so they just cave and accept it, which is something common in pickup in general.

    “And then, I notice that the stuff she’s saying sort of mirrors the one-off critiques I got the other night”

    The rejection of your changing can manifest itself in pretty cruel ways depending on the type of person you’re dealing with. Some people will just be like “dude, that’s not you man, are you okay? Why are you acting like this now? You’ve changed man…” and some will be hostile dickheads like this chick.

    “it always boils down to something like ‘you’re gay’ ‘your outfit sucks,’”

    As you’ve noticed, this is the same type of shit you were getting from the girls in your last Field Report. Girls aren’t super clever, especially when they think the guy’s frame is incongruent/weak. Like you wouldn’t bother taking a huge wind-up swing to punch through a thin piece of balsa wood because you’d figure you can just break it with a couple fingers squeezing it.

    When I get shit-tested these days, I get shit-tested HARD…girls try to bring out their A-Game with testing me because they know stuff like “your outfit is gay” won’t phase me at all. They know if they’re going to test me, they need to do it with something brutal to have a shot at shaking my frame. Their shit still usually isn’t funny though lol

    And again, they’re just doing this because you’re acting different than how they think you “should” act, and they sense they can get away with it, like a cheetah tackling the injured gazelle of the group, it’s almost instinct to pounce on a weakness.

    Tyler puts it good in a video where he says that “the field” will take your sticking points, incongruencies, and any weak parts of your game and just shove them right in your face, harshly and brutally, until you fix those things. So in a way it’s a good thing, because when you approach 10 girls and they all go “eww don’t touch me you creep”, you learn “okay there’s a problem with how I’m doing my kino, time to zoom-in on my kino and figure out where I’m going wrong here”.

    The thing about their one-off insults is that they’re not real consistent or specific, so you can ignore them. If you got 20 insults and 15 of them were that your shirt is ugly, then your shirt is probably ugly lol But if you get 20 insults and they’re all over the map and vague like “you’re gay” “your haircut’s stupid” “you’re weird”, it’s just the girls shooting a shot-gun blast spread of insults hoping SOMETHING gets through a crack and hits you and makes you react. So you can just laugh that shit off because when you see them doing it, in your head it should translate to them saying to you “I have NO ammo at all, I’m just desperately flinging shit at you and crossing my fingers here”.

    “and then something along the lines of being a snob — which flat-out isn’t true”

    Ya, see? It’s like she can’t get a reaction out of you so now she’s even just making shit UP hoping you’ll fall into her frame, and defend yourself (against shit you know isn’t even TRUE) and qualify yourself to her, which is beta’ing yourself to her, and then she can feel like she “won” the little frame battle exchange she instigated because she’s insecure and needed to re-enforce to herself that she’s better than you. It’s really silly and petty lol

    So she might try like “you’re stupid” and you go “lol whatever” and she goes “grrr…you’re ugly!!” and you go “lol whatever” and she goes “grrr…you have a tiny dick!” and it’s not even something she could KNOW, and you happen to be sensitive/insecure about your wang so you go “what?? no I don’t!” and she goes “aha!! GOTCHA!!” and turns to the girls beside her and goes “right girls? this guy totally has a tiny dick! What a loser, I bet it’s the size of my pinky lol!!” and now she’s poking a sore-spot issue with you AND rallying up the people around her to pile on, and she’ll do it until you finally cave to the social pressure and she breaks your frame.

    Pretty fucked up hey? lol But again, she’s not always necessarily an evil horrible bitch even though it’s bullying behavior…she’s just testing you and trying to keep her world in the order it’s supposed to be in. And in fact, a lot of times these girls will be the sweetest girls in the world to you once they’re 100% sure that you’re congruent to who you’re portraying yourself as. It’s hard not to want to muff-punch her though, I know, lol

    Anyway, so that’s the general psychology behind this. The girls from your last Field Report did it too, where they test you for a sore spot and then try to gang up on you to put social pressure on you to cave. AMOGs will sometimes do this kind of thing too. It can be frustrating, especially when they actually DO strike a nerve, and you’ll react a bunch of times where as soon as you react you’ll go “ah shit I shouldn’t have done that”.

    But that’s okay, because it’s a learning process. Over time you’ll learn that a lot of the things they say really AREN’T things that SHOULD affect you. Like a girl making fun of your haircut, who the fuck cares, why would that affect your state or self-worth in any way, who the fuck is SHE? lol At the same time, you’ll also learn what things really DO affect you and where your boundaries are. I’ll let a girl SLAP me, I don’t give a fuck at all…I say a lot of offensive stuff and sometimes girls will react by slapping me because it was over the top and I’ll just grin and keep going like it was nothing. That’s not a boundary that really bothers me. But then on the flip side, a girl who’s being a dick to one of my Nice Guy friends will get a full verbal-bitch-slap reaming-out from me until she feels like a piece of shit and like I’m the meanest person in the world. I learned where my boundaries are, from being tested a bunch over the years.

    I like this Joe Rogan clip as an example of boundaries. He really isn’t affected by this girl, because he knows she’s irrellevant in the long-run, she doesn’t affect his self-worth at all, but at the same time he’s basically unapologetically saying “you are crossing my boundaries and if you keep it up I’m going to keep laying into you”:

    The crowd goes wild over the stuff he’s saying, and a lot of that is because they know they’re watching a man express himself from the core and not holding back. He’s not being PC, he’s not trying to appease anyone, he’s not holding back his opinion, he’s not embarrassed by his boundaries, he’s being completely honest and congruent and expressing himself. There’s NOTHING that chick can say that will phase him or get through any cracks, his Identity is rock solid even if it’s abrasive to the Politically Correct crowd.

    At 2:20-ish he threatens her with his dick and says “I’m a short guy but I’ve got a big dick” lol So now picture way back to your earlier post where you said the dance floor uggo sneered at you for trying to dance with her, or think back to the girl who made fun of your height…how would Joe Rogan have handled that? Well he might not have handled it in the best way and he might not handle it in a way that you’ll end up handling it when you get your Identity down (being a cool chill Owen Wilson type guy is as much of an Identity as being a loud asshole), but he sure as shit would have a way to handle it that’s congruent, you know? :)

    That’s part of why I asked you earlier if you had any boundaries, or knew what they were, or when you last made other people aware of your boundaries when they crossed them or if you just bottled it up inside, etc. At this stage you probably don’t know what your boundaries are yet. Like ya, the calling you gay or a snob is annoying, but it doesn’t REALLY piss you off…so you’ll probably be able to handle that stuff and laugh it off and down the road it’ll be completely insignificant to you. Whereas if a girl called you fat, since you’re working on your weight, that might actually sting you right now. These are things you’ll learn about yourself as you go.

    “She teases all the guys in the group, but from her to me it’s way different.”

    I actually think you could fuck her lol

    “I attempt to use the whole ‘two second alpha stare’ on her remarks….which PISSES her off even more!”

    lol you did good, regardless of her reaction. Her getting pissed off is because she’s frustrated that nothing is getting to you. Probably in the past before you found the Manosphere you’d qualify/react more often to this shit she’s throwing at you, but now you’re not anymore, so it’s that frustration of “keep being who you’re SUPPOSED to be, grrr, why isn’t this working anymore??” And because you’re not reacting and you’re staying cool, she just starts looking more and more irrational and petty and she can sense that, so she has to keep trying to up the ante to get you to react…thus:

    “Eventually, she actively starts trying to get the other girls around her in on the shit talking.”

    Maybe SHE can’t pressure you into reacting, but maybe the combined social pressure of her and the 3 girls you’re talking to can get you to cave. I actually use this tactic on AMOGs lol, if I’m worried the guy’s going to hit me I’ll use the girls in the group and/or the other guys and/or passers-by and try to turn the group against him to get him to feel the social pressure and force him to calm down out of fear of everyone judging him as irrational and angry.

    “At this point, I kinda break and start reacting way more.”

    lol it’s all good. This chick is pro, she knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s probably been doing it a lot longer to everyone in her life than some silly 18yo at the bar who’s still learning the ropes of how to use the power she has over men. You stepped into the ring with Tyson and didn’t come out completely mangled, that’s pretty decent all things considered. :) It’ll get easier over time, and you’ll get more competent at it and eventually you’ll be 10 steps ahead of her and know what she’s thinking better than she does.

    “Not in an angry way, but you know…like…in that way where I’m somehow justifying myself.”

    Right, this is what we call “qualifying yourself”. It feels stupid, right? Like you’re DOING it, but you know you SHOULDN’T be doing it, but you can’t help it because you just need to do it like scratching an itch. Down the road you’ll start using this on girls and getting them to qualify themselves to you and they’ll react the same way you did, where they just NEED to qualify and feel like they have to justify themselves. It’s pretty powerful stuff when you use it consciously. The old-school PUA examples are (once you pass the hook point and you know you have some kind of value to the girl) the classic “Can you cook? I can’t date a girl who can’t cook.” or “Are you adventurous?” etc. where when she qualifies herself to you, you reward her, which sets up a frame where she wants more rewards so she keeps qualifying herself, creating a loop where she keeps investing more in the interaction and chasing your validation.

    “I’m starting to see that these skills apply to most every area of life. So much of how you’re treated seems to boil down to how people perceive your SMV to be.”

    Yup. Welcome to the Matrix. :) If two people were applying for a job and one guy was a shy nervous guy who spent all his time studying and he had amazing qualifications but was socially awkward, and the other guy applying had half or even no qualifications, but was extremely charistmatic and had an obviously high SMV and could build a connection with people quickly and get the interviewer talking about how much they both love golf etc., my money would be on the 2nd guy getting the job. It’s kind of a mind-fuck to realize how much societal conditioning brainwashed us all to believe that working hard will result in the universe rewarding us fairly…when the reality is a lot of people who have good jobs, financial success, great opportunities, etc. really just got those things by knowing the right people and being “liked”.

    “When we get there my plan is to just hang out with the work group for like half an hour to hour before peeling off to hit on EVERY hot girl in the club.”

    lol excellent plan. A booth is fun if you’re just fucking around with your boys and don’t care about getting laid, but the reality is that most bar/club booths are really awkward logistically for talking to girls. Your friends won’t care because they can’t approach girls anyway so they’re happy drinking in the booth, but you have to be like “I have to go to the bathroom” and then go do some approaches. Most of my friends know that I’ll occasionally vanish here and there through the night instead of holding their hands and cuddling around the bar all night.

    The expensive VIP booths are often even worse…they’re a good place to bring girls back to, and you’re socially proofed if everyone can see you in your important rich-people booth…but unless you’re in a Vegas style club where promoters bring golddiggers over to your table, you’re segregated from the general population in the club behind a velvet rope or up on a stage etc. and you don’t get to interact with them unless you leave the very expensive VIP booth you paid for lol

    “But, I managed to stick to the plan — somewhat — and make two approaches.”

    Good on ya. It’s all reference experiences that add up over time.

    “Now she turns toward me ‘wow that was really nice of you.’”

    Shit, not bad for winging it. You basically DHV’ed a bit and you probably could’ve taken this somewhere…till the big guy showed up lol Nothing you can do about that right now. Hell, I don’t even bother with those sets these days, where the guy is clearly over-protective…it’s just not worth the hassle, even if I can tool him he might just end up punching me out because for all I know she’s his girlfriend of 10 years lol

    “I was feeling kinda shitty over the last set and pretty much made the approach a cheesy pickup line.”

    lol one of the ways Tyler recommends getting into state is to purposely do shit like approach as a cheesy pickup line guy, or to purposely approach like a total AFC asking interview questions, or purposely approach trying to get shot down or get her to slap you, or approaching using a made up foreign language, etc. Basically doing stuff that you KNOW probably won’t work and is retarded, but is funny to you and makes you laugh at how dumb what you’re trying is. It helps get you outside of your head and away from outcome dependance and dying for approval because you’re shooting yourself in the foot on purpose from the start. Once you get back into state, your sets usually go a lot better because your sub-communications are fun instead of needy.

    “I think really, I just need to nail down this ‘irrational self-confidence at all times’ thing.”

    Like I say, it helps to have the reference experiences for it so it’ll come with time.

    But in the meantime, try some Affirmations:

    Saying Affirmations to yourself feels pretty cheesy if you’ve never done it, and while I don’t really do them now (because my brain is basically telling me how awesome I am 24/7 lol), I found they helped a lot when I was starting out. I combined a few of them into one long one and I’d recite it while showering, while doing my hair etc., into a mirror before leaving my apartment for the bar, etc.

    Some people respond well to them, some people don’t, try doing some Affirmations daily for a couple weeks and see what it does for your mood. I thought they were completely retarded at first, but I’m always up for at least giving new stuff a fair try, and it turned out they helped get me jump-started on building that irrational self-confidence thing.

    Good luck!

    • YaReally
      on December 18, 2012 at 4:11 am
      Original Link

      lol glad to help. Hope some other people reading get some use out of it too.

      Just wanted to post this quick ’cause I linked it elsewhere and just realized it’s a great example of a more chill Identity that isn’t crazy-in-your-face like Joe Rogan:

      So compare Cajun’s vibe here to Joe Rogan, specifically at 2:50 (tho the whole clip is a good explanation of the Identity stuff you’re working on). If a girl sneered at Cajun on the dance floor or told him she thought guys would be taller in the future, how would Cajun’s Identity cause him to handle it? Joe Rogan’s Identity would cause him to bitch her out and call her a stupid cunt. Cajun’s Identity would be more of a smooth persistent “oh, that’s cute, you’re trying to get rid of me…but it’s not going to work, I’m too charming, you might as well just accept that we’re going to hook up. :)”

      So your Identity down the road as you learn more about yourself 1) might be anywhere in the spectrum from smooth guy to in-your-face asshole, and 2) might be an Identity you COMPLETELY can’t even tell is really under the surface in you right now and you could be surprised by what your Identity turns out to be when you finally melt away all the social conditioning and shit that holds it back.

      When I got into game I was super shy and quiet and anti-social…and now I’m the complete opposite of that. But I realized looking at photos/videos of myself when I was a little kid (like under 10 years old) that I was actually exactly like I am now, out-going and funny and talkative…it’s just that in elementary/high-school/college I learned to stuff that all down and hide it because of social conditioning that told me to be a Nice Guy and because I had bad acne and was chubby and Disney told me only the good looking prince gets the girl etc. and I chained my personality up like a lot of people do. The current me is actually just a return to who I used to be.

      Tyler describes it as “At some point when you were growing up you chose an Identity that wouldn’t even make people LIKE you, but that would just make people not DIS-like you.” A big part of game is just unwiring all that bullshit.

      And in fact a big part of why alcohol is such a popular substance in society, and I mean, it’s POISON, it doesn’t make SENSE that we would all be willingly poisoning ourselves all the time…why do we do it? Because it allows us to take off those social conditioning chains for a few hours and really express ourselves and our Identities. So the innocent girl ends up dancing up on the bar. The Nice Guy ends up picking fights because he’s sexually frustrated. The shy quiet guy becomes loud and outgoing and confident. The guy in his unsatisfying marriage that he TELLS everyone is “just great!” sleeps with a flirty waitress.

      When do we drink? When we instinctively know that social conditioning will hold us back from our goals. So a shy guy and innocent girl go on a date. They both WANT to fuck, but society has conditioned him to be a gentleman who pretends not to want sex and its conditioned her to be a Good Girl who doesn’t put out like those slutty Bad Girls.

      So they bring a bottle of wine to share, of course. A few drinks in, the shy guy’s confident horny side is unlocked and the innocent girl’s flirty horny side is unlocked, and they make sweet love and then when they wake up cuddling in bed together they go “wow I can’t believe we did that, we must’ve been SO drunk” and return to their social conditioning.

      Crazy, hey? lol

Double-Dipping Alimony Whores

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 14, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Original Link


Had a pretty good night last night! Opened two girls before I just opened and engaged this group for a pretty long time. Got a few numbers, but I feel like they’re more ‘friends’ numbers. And I feel like I could have gotten more, but I was too much of a pussy. I also started to get nervous after several minutes of solid interaction, which is funny. In retrospect it’s funny at least. So, personal standpoint, I took the advice I got on here and paid close attention to everything about myself. I tried doggedly to, whenever standing in a group, to maintain the open contrapposto alpha pose. I was surprised at how often I just kept wanting to fall out of it. Whenever I was sitting, I also tried my hardest to lean back, but it’s so hard to hear that I found myself leaning in more than I’d like just to hear what was going on. I also noticed that I lose state pretty quickly. I don’t know what it is about my approach, but I really tried damned hard to just follow the identity building advice. What resulted was a ton of shit-talking from the women. The guys I actually seemed to get along great with, though.

Line check (approaches HB 8 at bar, leans on counter putting profile to woman):
Me: Hey…you see that weird fight outside?
Her: ….what? There was a fight outside?
Me: It was this little midget lady and her tall boyfriend….you didn’t see it?
Her: ….no (seeming disinterested)
Me: Oh….well, I knew the boyfriend would win out, but she put up a fight.
Her: Wow…you must be psychic (flat)
Me: (not going well, may as well just say the dumbest shit I can think of and get the fuck outta here; straightens posture) Actually….I’m from the future.
Her: (laughter)….ohhhh really?
Me: (inner surprise; I can’t think of anything cool to say so I shrug my shoulders like it ain’t no thang)
Her: Well I thought that they’d be taller in the future?
Me: I’m not short, I’m just really far away from you.
Her: Uh-huh, hoooookay….

(fast forward, I said I was waiting for my friends, we eventually moved over to another table where the rest of her group joined us — two guys and another girl. The other girl is a 5-6, made up out of her mind. I ignore them for a minute or two to talk to the guys. When I switch back to the girls, I just notice this intense spike of ‘talk shit.’ e.g.,)

Her: (blah blah blah)….I really like that shit.
Me: (Trying for misheard innuendo) …you really like dick?
Her Friend: (Gut check mode) Uhhhhhhhhhh noooo….and if there were a dick around, I’m sure you’d be all on that shit anyway.
Me: (Can’t think of anything cool to say, so I just give her a raised eyebrow and a smirk)
Her: ……you know, I could see that.
Me: (Takes a risk) you liking dick?
Her: No, you being gay.
Me: Does gay me wear sunglasses?
Her: (laughs)
Her friend: No, he just has sex with a lot of men. (they both laugh…feel like I’m crashing and burning)
Male friend: That’s not really such a bad thing. Gay men dress really well.
Her: (takes a look at my clothes, makes an ‘they’re okay/standard’ gesture with her hand, then laughs and shakes her head) Yeah, then I guess he’s not gay.
Me: (figure I’ve totally just blown this exchange, so I just shrug and try to power through) ….am I getting some fucking sunglasses or what?
(Gets solid laughter)

Me (just generally addressing the group): So, is it scrunchie or ‘scoonchie,’ for the company?
Her friend: What, what do you mean?
Me: I just know I’ve seen labels with the hair tie with this weird ‘u’ with two dots over it.
Her: Where would you have even seen that?
(Her and her friend proceed to lose their shit over this — I don’t really get it, but I figure I’ve made a huge tactical error here)
Her friend: You’re so dumb! (to be fair, said in a playful way) It’s scrunchie!
Me: Ooooooh….so that weird ‘u’ means nothing then?
Her: Nope…you’re wrong on this one.

I gotta say…I mean, the way they say it and the way it feels, the teasing just doesn’t come off as overtly flirty to me. It just seems like they’re ripping on me. Probably have to recheck my body language and tone. Some other highlights of the night — pretty sure I got AMOG’ed a few times and had no comebacks. Here’s an example that at least felt like an amog:

Guy: (after a group laugh over something I said) Man….can we just like, we should just like make a cartoon out of you.
Me: I dunno man, I’m pretty sure my lats are too huge to be drawn (stupid line, they can’t all be winners I guess….)
Guy: No I’m serious, you could have your own little animated series or something.

So…this sort of lets me know I’m being more of an entertainer, and I have no idea how to work out of that zone. I mean, all in all a far better night than most I’ve had at least.

  • YaReally
    on December 14, 2012 at 10:34 pm
    Original Link

    They’re all picking up on incongruency and reacting to it. This’ll happen for a while lol it’s a good thing, it means you’re trying new shit out and it just doesn’t fit proper. A night of getting shit thrown at you and learning is better than a mundane night going through the same ol’ motions playing to “not lose” instead of playing to “win”.

    On my way out to the bar but I’ll write some more in-depth shit here tomorrow for ya.

    • YaReally
      on December 17, 2012 at 6:10 am
      Original Link

      Sorry, had a busy weekend (the good kind lol). I’mma do a big breakdown here for ya ’cause quite frankly I think you’re capable of getting your shit handled compared to a lot of cases…you’re new so it’s still going to be a lot of work, but you have a good attitude about approaching all this and your problems are really a bunch of small TOTALLY handle-able sticking points and a few big ones that overlap eachother so once you start knocking them out, they’ll start snowballing over eachother like knocking down a bunch of dominos.

      One of the reasons I became fascinated with pickup was because of how interconnected most of it is…you can almost distill pickup down into just a few over-arching concepts, all the external stuff (routines, body langauge, voice tonality, etc.) is just zooming in on the strands that make up those concepts like wool on a sweater. Man I’m full of analogies today.

      Alright so let’s get to it:

      “Got a few numbers, but I feel like they’re more ‘friends’ numbers.”

      They are. You’ll know when you have a number where the girl sees you as fuckable instead of a friend. But that’s okay, this is just a symptom of one of the large concepts you’ll need to work on, which we currently call “communicating as a man to a woman”, vs communicating as “a friend to a friend” or, as a lot of PUA newbies and a lot of the old-school routines did, as “a woman to a woman” lol

      The underlying concept is that when you’re talking to her, she should basically be getting the vibe that if she hangs around you, you are going to eventually fuck her. Todd from RSD puts it the best way (the “imminent danger” bit goes way back in the PUA community lol):

      (30 second clip)

      Right now the girls don’t see you as having a penis, basically. It’s not a big deal, EVERYONE runs into this when they start learning about pickup. Hell, even I still have sets here and there where I get the number and I’m like “fuck, there isn’t even any point in txting this one, this was all totally friend to friend” lol I still try to turn it around for practice, but it’s usually a REALLY huge/awkward leap to switch modes because you’re playing the “surprise, I have a penis!” game at that point and doesn’t pan out much and I don’t have the patience to play it suuuuper slow and really slowly turn it around which can actually work…my mentality is more “ah, fuck, that was gay of me, okay next chick remember YaReally: Man to woman, none of this friend to friend shit” and move on.

      I’ll talk more about the “man to woman” communciation down below.

      “And I feel like I could have gotten more”

      You could have. :)

      “but I was too much of a pussy.”

      You were. lol Again don’t beat yourself up about it. Learning pickup is basically like running after someone who’s riding a bicycle. At first you’re only gonna get a block and then lose it. Then you’ll get 2 or 3 blocks and lose it. Then you’ll actually touch the bicycle for a split second and lose it. Then you’ll manage to keep pace with the bicycle for a few strides and lose it. Down the road you’ll be able to keep up with the person on the bicycle, but this is how the learning process feels and you are in for YEARS of it lol At first it’ll be just getting solid phone numbers, then it’ll be getting those girls to actually want to fuck you, then it’ll be actually getting laid, then it’ll be getting hotter girls, then it’ll be getting threesomes, etc. etc.

      This is why we stress trying to look at the game as fun, and approaching as fun and hilarious and retarded, because if you take it too seriously it’s going to stress you out like crazy since there’s no end to the learning process.

      “I also started to get nervous after several minutes of solid interaction, which is funny. In retrospect it’s funny at least.”

      This is why I say you have a good attitude for handling this. You KNOW how absurd it is to be getting nervous over it lol We all have little incidents like this. I remember being out of the game for a bit (settled with a girl for a few months and stopped going out) and when I got back out there I’d like, know exactly what I should’ve said…5 min after the moment had passed. And I’d laugh like “c’mon brain, work faster like you used to” because it was funny to me to drop the ball like that so much for a while. I remember going into a strip club and ordering a drink and as I passed my money to the bartender my hand was literally uncontrollably shaking with nerves, it had been a while since I had been around a bunch of hot naked chicks, and I grabbed my hand and laughed at myself like “wtf YaReally?? never seen a naked girl before?? lol”

      “I took the advice I got on here and paid close attention to everything about myself.”

      Good stuff. Handle one thing at a time. There’s so many different areas to the game that it can be overwhelming if not impossible to tackle them all at once. What a lot of us did was focus on one or two main things at a time. Like “okay tonight, I’m going to stay in every set until they tell me to fuck off, no matter how awkward it gets, either they flat out literally tell me to go away or they leave.” Or “okay this month I’m going to work on my kino, so I’m going to find an excuse to hug the girl in the first minute of the interaction in every set, even if it feels awkard and weird at first.”

      It’s a long-term game, so right now you’re working on your general alpha vibe (body language, eye contact, voice tonality, loudness, taking up space, etc.), which is great, so don’t be annoyed with yourself if you don’t get around to fixing the dancing monkey stuff till you get that stuff handled. Baby steps. :)

      “I was surprised at how often I just kept wanting to fall out of it.”

      You’re unwiring a LOT of years of bad habits. We always want to return to what we’re used to even when we know it’s bad for us (this is why pessimistic angsty people tend to stay that way, even when good things happen to them they instantly find the black lining to it). Fortunately it works the other way around too…if you build good habits/outlooks, and do them for long enough, those will be what you return to.

      It supposedly takes 21 days of doing something to literally build new neural pathway whatevers in your brain that make that thing no longer seem like a struggle to make yourself do. Google it for more info, but the important thing is to keep consciously focusing on “okay, how am I standing, oh shit, I’m standing like a wuss again, okay fix that, good, that’s better.”

      The learning process for anything is:

      1) Unconscious Incompetance (oblivious that you suck)
      2) Conscious Incompetance (you suck, but you KNOW you suck (this is you with your body language right now)
      3) Conscious Competance (I suck but I’m focusing on fixing it (this is what you’re transitioning into right now))
      4) Unconscious Competance (I’m all fixed up and don’t even have to think about this shit anymore)

      “Whenever I was sitting, I also tried my hardest to lean back, but it’s so hard to hear that I found myself leaning in more than I’d like just to hear what was going on.”

      lol this is an annoying problem in bars especially. In quieter places like restaraunts or at someone’s house, it’s not a big deal. You’ll learn to lip-read a bit and a lot of bar situations involve just emotional communication (ie – the girl isn’t really saying anything important, she’s just trying to get across to you some emotion that she’s feeling and you can pick that up through her body-language, facial expression, etc.). Really though, if you’re just chilling with your social group and you can’t hear, go ahead and lean in, it won’t kill ya.

      The main area to focus on not leaning in is when you’re standing and talking to a girl. Guys will lean in to hear what she has to say and it’s very supplicative looking/feeling…like the words of some random girl you met 5 seconds ago are the most important thing in the world to you, you don’t even know if she’s worth your time yet and you’re giving her all that value, you know? So the main time to be paying attention to whether you’re leaning in is in a legit approach.

      It actually helps with the “man to a woman” communication thing, because instead of leaning in you can pull her in and say “I can’t hear you, what was that?” and have her talk closer to your face while you brush cheeks together or stare into her eyes intently etc., which starts building sexual tension (VS standing 2 feet away with your hands in your pocket nodding at her).

      Here’s an AWESOME 80 min video by Gambler (I recommend watching the entire thing, there’s tons of good stuff in there for dealing with loud environments etc.) with like a 30 min section in the middle demonstrating this “man to a woman” communication thing.

      Everyone who’s working on turning their vibe more sexual should watch this video, I’m not even really a big Gambler fan but this is solid as fuck:

      Vital section on “man to a woman” stuff starts at 26 minutes in:

      At 30:20 he stars escalating the sexual tension lol same with 33:45. But watch this whole segment with the girl because his actual explanations of what’s going on and why it works is excellent.
      Watch how the tension goes through the roof just from cutting into her space and staring her down with laser eyes and doing what we call “Triangular Gazing” (look from eye to eye and down to her lips and back up, it shows you’re thinking about her lips/kissing/etc. without being blatant) while she talks.

      My fav summary of what he’s doing is: “The reason it’s sexual is there’s no way on EARTH you would do that with a male friend.”

      Robbie Williams doing the same thing but as a Natural doing it to just fuck around instead of as a specific pickup tactic:

      Robbie isn’t even touching her and she melts into a blubbering mess. You can see how this overlaps into that “imminent danger of being fucked” idea. It’s not because he’s a celebrity, you can do this to girls you’ve just met at the bar, try it lol Hell Tyler and Julien from RSD sometimes open literally without talking for the first few minutes, just getting in her space and staring her down.

      For you, because you’re new, I wouldn’t do a lot of the blatant stuff with like, your social circle girls/friends…that’s why we stress going out and cold approaching randoms, ’cause you’ll probably weird chicks out for a while lol And that’s fine if they’re randoms at the bar you’ll never really hang out with again, but it can fuck up your social circle.

      So for you, do all of this shit Gambler’s talking about with random cold approach girls…but with girls in your social circle, stick to focusing on body language and eye contact and learning to build a deep connection just looking into their eyes…making a “bond” with them, you know?

      Down the road this skill will help you create what we call a “Bubble of Love” lol where when you’re talking to someone everything else in the world seems to just fade to black like there’s just a spotlight on the two of you and the other person feels like you two are the only people in the world. Guys like Bill Clinton, Steve Jobs, etc. are legendary for their “Reality Distortion Field” which is just this “Bubble of Love” concept except they apply it to everyone they interact with instead of just girls.

      This is part of why people in real life trust me REALLY quickly. They’ll open up to me about super personal shit and I can find out pretty much anything I want to about people because I’m combining leading the conversation where I want it to go with this “Bubble of Love” where they feel super special and like we have this amazing deep connection and feel like we’ve known eachother for years even though we just met a few minutes ago. This is useful for bonding with guys and girls.

      “I also noticed that I lose state pretty quickly.”

      Right now your state is probably based on external results. So when you’re getting good feedback from girls, you feel great, but if you get bad feedback or if the girl just isn’t giving you much to work with in general, your state dies because it’s like “ah shit, I don’t think she likes me, so I can’t feel good. And my buddy’s girl over there clearly likes HIM, so fuck, I must be a loser (etc. etc. big negative state-destroying mental spiral)”.

      Don’t stress this too much for now, honestly. It’s something you’ll work on down the road when you’re more Advanced and you’re getting a lot of success because overall it’s healthy to learn to base your state internally instead of externally, but as a guy who started out from scratch I know that chasing that external validation gets you to actually approach and make moves and work on your game so I say fuck it, don’t worry about fixing that for a couple years, it’s not something that’s going to hamper you at the start here aside from giving you frustrating nights now and then. Fix one or two things at a time, you know?

      One thing that might help is to get in the mindset of “I can’t control whether a girl likes me, that’s out of my control, but I can control whether I approach her, or whether I escalate the situation, or whether I try to kiss her, or whether I go for her phone number…so as long as I’m taking action, then that’s pretty awesome, because that’s something I can control and feel good that I’m doing, even if the girl doesn’t like me or it doesn’t work out.”

      But again I wouldn’t stress this one much, I’m only addressing it so it’s in the back of your head a couple years down the road. :)

      “I don’t know what it is about my approach, but I really tried damned hard to just follow the identity building advice. What resulted was a ton of shit-talking from the women.”
      :) This is actually a good thing. It means you’re trying to work on your identity, and what’s happening is that you’re working on it but not there yet, so girls and guys are picking up on “this guy is trying to come off like he’s Such and Such but there’s something off about it, he doesn’t seem to really BE Such and Such”. So what happens is they subconsciously try to test you to see if you’re actually this guy.

      It’s like the puppy with a big bark. You KNOW the little puppy is just pretending to be big and scary but it’s not really a threat and so instinctively you want to go “rarr!!” and step toward it like you’re going to attack and it skitters back and hides behind someone’s leg while it keeps barking furiously at you. It’s just cute and funny and totally incongruent.

      But then you run into a lion, and the thing isn’t even doing anything. It’s just slowly walking around surveying it’s surroundings…but you know to stay the fuck away from it, because you know if you test it it’ll bite your fucking head off lol That’s essentially what congruency is.

      So for a while here, while you build your identity (this could take months or years, hell, my identity is pretty rock solid now but there are still aspects as I gain more life experience where I learn “okay this is how I feel about this topic” and solidify a little more), you’re going to get a ton of testing from people. This sucks but there’s no way around it lol It’s like learning to ride a bicycle, you’re gonna fall off and skin your knees a few times, that’s just how it goes, until your skills solidify.

      But as your identity solidifies, you’ll get tested less and less. I very rarely get shit from people when I’m out because everything I say and do is congruent to who I am and what I think/believe, and I have that congruency because I’ve spent so much time interacting with so many different people in so many different situations and environments and different types of people, that I know myself extremely well…which comes back to what I said before about how people with strong identities have boundaries they don’t let people cross (doesn’t mean they get into a fight, they just don’t tolerate that kind of behavior and let people know or stop hanging out with those people). That all comes from experience putting yourself in different situations.

      That’s also why people who go backpacking through Europe solo and such, tend to come back with a lot stronger an Identity…they were forced to learn to rely on themselves and handle different problems and situations and they were basically forced to forge their Identity to survive, especially in a place where they don’t speak the local language.

      Society these days is built on making us all repress our feelings trying not to offend anyone else, and coddling us through growing up to try to keep us from harm or “feeling bad” and the end result is that we become “adults”, but we don’t become “men” because we never really HAD to. A lot of PUA is just forcing ourselves through that process…you can gain confidence and stuff through other means, like climibing a mountain or backpacking around or starting a small business or whatever, but pickup is a fun method to build it through because, well, it involves getting pussy. lol I’d rather chat some cute chicks up and get laid than climb a mountain.

      (incidentally, from what I’ve seen it looks like the MGTOW are actually in alignment with PUAs in this area, in that MGTOWs are basically forcing themselves through the “grow into being a man” process they missed out on earlier in life, except that they’re purposely choosing a path that avoids male-female relationships…in a way, while I think it’s a bit of a waste to avoid learning to handle relationship stuff because I love women, I can respect their underlying idea of “focus on doing shit for you as a man, not to impress women”)

      “The guys I actually seemed to get along great with, though.”

      Guys tend to be more forgiving of incongruency and often are just oblivious to it because they aren’t as socialized as women who are playing crazy social dynamic games all the way back in elementary school and tend to have a much more finely toned radar for this stuff since for them it can mean the difference between finding a husband or being raped and tossed in an alley.

      “Me: It was this little midget lady and her tall boyfriend….you didn’t see it?”

      Honestly as a short guy I would avoid talking about height related topics at all unless she brings it up. Like I’m an older guy now (early 30s) and I’m often approaching girls I know are in the 18-early 20s age range where I know the age topic is going to be polarizing…even if it’s blatantly obvious that I’m way older than them, I don’t bring it up unless she brings it up and then I address it quick with a line and change the conversation to something more productive. Same goes with when I was younger and going cougar-hunting now and then, it’s clear that I’m way younger than them, but I know that logically talking about age is going to make them screen me out or feel self-conscious about their own age, so I just never talked about it.

      Once you set the frame that you view the world through height, like it’s something that’s relevant to you, she’s going to view the world that way too because what you feel, she feels. Whereas if you seem basically oblivious to even the CONCEPT of height existing, she won’t give it much thought either (unless it’s really a big deal for her, which isn’t nearly as common as most people think, usually the guys getting screened for that shit are boring/lame and she’s actively looking for a reason to reject the guy and height is an easy one to go with because the guy can’t be like “Well I’ll grow 10 inches and MAKE you love me then!!!” lol).

      One of my short buddies that does well with chicks doesn’t even really get the idea that a tall girl and short guy couple is strange. He’s not oblivious to it as a notion that exists in society, but he’s been with enough girls taller than him and flirts with tons of taller girls (since most of them are taller than him lol) that he has so many reference experiences of it not mattering that it’s not a part of his outlook. As a result he gets a lot less height shit-testing because girls pick up that it’s not something he’s insecure/nervous about or sees as any kind of detriment.

      Same concept works with anything else, like acne, having a stain on your shirt, not having a job, etc.

      Anyway, this is just something I wanted to mention because I know you’re a short dude and if this is one of your standard openers I’d change it up a bit to avoid the subject of height.

      “Me: (not going well, may as well just say the dumbest shit I can think of and get the fuck outta here; straightens posture) Actually….I’m from the future.”

      lol’ed. Good on you for sticking in there. A lot of guys eject early when they don’t get an obvious positive response and a lot of times those sets can be turned around with some solid game down the road. Even though this one didn’t really work out in that you’re probably not going to fuck the girls, you got a fuck-ton of experience handling social pressure and pushing through awkwardness. That’s stuff that’s going to help you down the road…Like Heartiste’s recent article on Naturals, where they seem oblivious to the idea that approaching a girl should be “scary”, they just have a lot of reference experience of pushing through awkwardness and not dying so their brain says “ehh there’s not really anything to worry about dude, go for it, you’re the man!”

      “Her: Well I thought that they’d be taller in the future?”

      There’s actually a lot of little places where you could turn this around. They’re definitely being bitches to you lol but it’s not necessarily that they’re bad people, it’s again that they can tell they can talk shit to you and fuck with your frame because it’s not super solid yet…even though you handled yourself pretty decently all things considered, like shrugging your shoulders instead of trying to qualify yourself, not apologizing for the stuff you say, etc.

      A lot of guys will be like “oh you should say something like “Well you’re ugly in the present!” ohh burrn you totally got that bitch, bro!!!” but that’s a reactive low value response where you’re falling into her frame. By not being phased by it and staying calm, you’re actually displaying solid value. Down the road when you get tested a lot, you’ll have a bunch of routine comebacks for these kinds of things.

      One of my short buddies is a monster with shit-tests…he’s really out-going and worked as a bartender for years, so he’s been the center of attention most of his life, so he’s gotten shit-tests from people his entire life and has heard EVERY short joke in the fucking book a million times. So when anyone tries to give him shit on his height he has a dozen different responses to whatever they say that are super witty, play to the crowd and tool the person, make them feel silly for trying to give him shit, etc. etc. and because he handles these shit-tests so smoothly and flawlessly from experience, the guys all want to befriend him (like “ohh wow lol you burned me good, shit lol” and “oh man you got my buddy good lol lemme buy you a shot that was awesome”) and the girls attraction for him spikes because he’s either called them out hardcore and made them feel silly and they need to qualify themselves to not look stupid, or he’s tooled the guy in their group that gave him shit and he’s suddenly higher value than those guys, so they’re attracted because he’s showing he can handle himself, even with the alphas in her group (who end up qualifying themselves to my buddy or buying him shots or whatever).

      Thing is, no one shit-tests the quiet shy Nice Guy with no identity who stands in a corner trying to blend into the background while his buddies are approaching girls. He’s insignificant. When you start getting shit-tested, that means you’re popping up on people’s radar. So get used to it lol

      I get shit-tested a LOT, especially because my Identity is the in-your-face asshole type with girls that talks about sexual topics right away etc. So girls test me right away to find out if I’m really like that or not, but I’ve got a lot of experience with all the types of shit-tests I’ll get so I just brush them off and my value goes up.

      So what I’m saying is: This’ll fix itself in time, keep going out. :)

      “I ignore them for a minute or two to talk to the guys.”

      Good stuff. Solid move. This is part of why the guys liked you, you’re not a predator going after their girls, you’re just a cool guy who’s shooting the shit till his friends show up. This is also part of why the girls test you more, because they feel like there’s something incongruent/off about you, but the guys in their group don’t seem to care and they feel like they need to “expose” you, know what I mean? Like if you knew someone your friend was dating was shit, but no one else believed you, you’d be frustrated and be like “ahhh no one can tell but me!! Can’t they see it too??”

      “Me: (Trying for misheard innuendo) …you really like dick?”

      lol’ed. You basically said to them “okay girls, shit-test me HARD, let’s get this battle started! :D” by doing something so blatantly offensive and impossible to ignore. Which is actually a GOOD thing when you can handle shit-tests, because you’ll basically piss them off, they’ll test you, you’ll pass the tests flawlessly, and they’ll become attracted because of how you passed the tests. Right now shit-tests are tricky for you so this could go either way 50/50 from here, but the important thing to understand is that you can 100% recover and build attraction from saying shit like this even though they react offended and pissed off lol

      But really, good on you for doing it. Because you’re “knocking her off the fence”.

      Here’s an hour-long video of Tyler explaning the idea in depth (important part starts at 4:35):

      I actually do this kind of thing on purpose because I’d rather a girl shit-tests me so I can pass those tests and build attraction fast, than just think I’m a “nice guy” and not test me at all and we get stuck in that gay friend zone vibe lol

      “Her Friend: (Gut check mode) Uhhhhhhhhhh noooo….and if there were a dick around, I’m sure you’d be all on that shit anyway.”

      Here come the shit-tests lol The two girls will just gang up on you here and generally the guys will go quiet because they don’t want to rock the boat with the girls to defend some random guy they don’t even know.

      From here you have three options:

      1) get sucked into their frame, apologize for what you said, backtrack, defend yourself, explain yourself, try to logically convince them not to be mad at you, qualify yourself, etc. etc. You know by now I’m sure that this isn’t a good option lol

      2) agree and amplify, use some cocky-funny, tool them with something smooth and witty, basically keep your wits about you, keep calm, remain completely unphased, and just laugh off what they say. If an 18yo girl at the bar says “I hate you”, it hurts. If your 5 year old neice says “I hate you” and pouts it’s cute and you go “lol awww” and are completely unphased by it. So this option is basically treating her like she’s your 5yo neice or little sister, like what she tried to burn you with was silly and she just amuses you trying to give you shit. This shows a lot of confidence and it passes the shit-tests and builds attraction (often causing more shit-tests until she finally decides “okay this guy is solid, I can’t get to him……so I LIKE him!”) lol

      3) completely ignore it, like you did, shrugging or raising your eyebrow and smirking. This, like option 2, shows high value. It’s also a lot easier than option 2 because you don’t have to come up with something witty etc. so there’s less room for error. The only reason why I choose option 2 over option 3 is because option 3 doesn’t really let you express a strong personality…it nullifies the shit-test, but it’s like, in terms of advancing the pickup towards sex, it only advances it an inch, whereas a solid option 2 handling can advance it feet or miles lol because you’re demonstrating more personality and especially in an environment like a nightclub where you’re talking to a girl who spend 4 hours getting herself all dolled up and is full of herself cocky and feels like the princess of the club etc. etc. you can need that kind of value bitch-slap (lol) to stand out from all the other guys.

      The other problem with option 3 is that it doesn’t STOP the shit-tests. A solid option 2 can stop the shit-tests cold and 180 the interaction instantly. But option 3 makes her go “hmm that one brushed right off him, okay I’ll try again then”. It’s like the difference in a fight between deflecting an attack and exchanging a blow. Just deflecting and standing there makes them go “okay I’ll swing again”, but exchanging a blow makes them go “hmm maybe I don’t want to do that anymore” lol

      You’ll develop option 2 over time (you’ll fuck up a TON and say a LOT of shit that you’re like “wow that was terrible and I knew it as I was saying it but couldn’t stop it from coming out of my mouth lol”, like the “I’m from the future” where you’re pretty much like wtf was that??), but option 3 is solid right now so mix it up depending on your mood/state.

      “Her: ……you know, I could see that.”

      See, this is them ganging up and keeping taking swings because you “deflected”. Again it’s not a bad thing, you deflect enough shit and they’ll give up…it’s just that if you look at attraction as making her feel a wide range of emotions in a short amount of time, option 2 does that more than option 3. Again not a big deal, either way works, and both are 100000x better than option 1.

      “Me: (Takes a risk) you liking dick?”

      lol’ed. Frame control battle here. This is essentially you saying “Nope, I’m not gonna’ apologize for what I said before even though I know you want me to feel like I should. In fact I’m gonna rub your face in it some more because you’re shit-testing me lol Not a single fuck was given this day! :)” which will cause them to shit-test you again and try to control the frame and make you feel bad.

      “Her: No, you being gay.”

      This isn’t even witty or clever on her part. It’s like going “noooo you’re stoooopid, you’re stoooopid” in an arguement. She just figures because you’re still incongruent in general, that you’ll eventually cave to her frame. This can go back and forth and fuck your state up bad and cave your frame and result in exploding in your face…

      “Me: Does gay me wear sunglasses?
      Her: (laughs)”

      …but you actually do alright here and instead of getting into a logical debate you just basically shrug and redirect the subject into something silly which probably doesn’t come off super congruent yet (I’ll say stuff like “Look just because Bob (whatever her male friend who approves of me’s name is) and I were swordfighting in the bathroom earlier doesn’t make us gay……Now the blowjobs, THAT part was a little gay.” and they’ll all love me after).

      So you’re really not doing as horrible as you probably felt in the moment here. It’s like you’re making a building and I can see you’ve GOT the right materials out and stuff, they’re not necessarily being arranged in the best way to make a really solid house, but you’re building something that could at least keep the rain out.

      This is also making the guys like you, because you’re getting thoroughly shit-tested by these girls but you’re handling yourself okay. It’s why people like guys like Russell Brand or Joe Rogan, because just watching them handle shit-tests is awesome. It’s that thing of like “wow I would’ve shit my pants at that and this guy just shrugged it off, or turned it around and totally owned this girl lol awesome”. So they start to root for you.

      The snowball effect of all this is that because the guys like you, that makes the girls who hated you, until the guys liked you, start to like you more because guys liking you is a sign of higher value. How’s that for confusing lol This snowball effect is why goading girls into shit-testing you can spike attraction fast…Mystery knew exactly what he was doing with his insane peacocking, he’d get shit-tested non-stop by everyone about that, but he had solid comebacks for everything and knew how to escalate out of it, so he’d win over the guys and the bitchy girls that gave him shit would turn around and start liking him because he was owning the group and his value was spiking up.

      Ironically, if everyone is pleasant and friendly and no one gives Mystery shit when he goes into a group, he just comes off as a weird guy in a crazy outfit lol He’s almost relying on going so over the top that he knows everyone will have to shit-test him because he’s so in their face. These days PUAs don’t peacock as much (the RSD guys all look/dress like normal guys) but they instigate shit-tests through what they say/do instead.

      This comes back to the option 2 thing…if no one shit-tests Mystery’s weird outfit, he doesn’t get to demonstrate his personality. It’s like being only a counter-boxer where if the guy attacks you first you can own him but if he doesn’t attack you can’t get a hit on him…you need to goad him into attacking you by sticking your jaw out or giving him an easy opening to try to get him to give you a chance to show your moves.

      See how these concepts all overlap eachother lol

      “Her friend: No, he just has sex with a lot of men. (they both laugh…feel like I’m crashing and burning)”

      Still trying to shake your frame here, again this isn’t even funny, but now they’re teaming up on you like jackals.

      “Male friend: That’s not really such a bad thing. Gay men dress really well.”

      Boom! A life preserver thrown by the guy in the group to the guy treading water. This is him basically saying “lol c’mon lay off girls, this guys cool, I approve of him”. Your value actually goes up slightly from thing and usually at this point the girls will keep shit-testing but they’ll be a little less vicious about it…like they might not want to fuck you or anything and be actively attracted, but often their shit-testing will go from “extremely hostile” to just “neutral ball-busting” where you haven’t won them over, but they aren’t trying to constantly bitch-slap you with hostility.

      “Her: (takes a look at my clothes, makes an ‘they’re okay/standard’ gesture with her hand, then laughs and shakes her head) Yeah, then I guess he’s not gay.”

      Again this isn’t even funny lol But she’s in an environment where everything will treat her like anything stupid she says is genius and brilliant because she has tits so it goes to her head. Again this is a shit-test though, where you can display option 1, 2, or 3. You actually handle it with option 2:

      “Me: (figure I’ve totally just blown this exchange, so I just shrug and try to power through) ….am I getting some fucking sunglasses or what?
      (Gets solid laughter)”

      You could’ve stopped at shrugging it off (option 3) but you demonstrate some personality with your “fucking sunglasses or what?” comment lol At this point you really could turn this 100% around with some solid game…like it’s not an optimal situation, but there’s the framework here to turn it around. You’d basically have to do it by passing a bunch more shit-tests flawlessly, winning the guys over, other stuff like social proof (imagine if right now a hot waitress came over and hugged you and said hi to you, the girls’ minds would explode), that’s why we have a ton of different tactics/strategies for this stuff…but you’ll handle this in time. Mystery Method was basically designed for this scenario (interacting and winning over a group of people you don’t know).

      “Me (just generally addressing the group): So, is it scrunchie or ‘scoonchie,’ for the company?”

      lol far as conversation topics go, if scrunchies is something you’ve actually wondered about, that’s cool, if not then in general go for topics you’re actually curious/interested about even if those topics aren’t things that girls are supposed to think are cool. The main reason for this is just that it helps with your congruency…like a nerd talking about Warcraft can actually work out because he’s enthusiastic and passionate about it. I bring up sexual topics because I think it’s fun conversation and hate talking about boring shit like work or the weather etc. lol This comes down to the idea of “self amusement”…saying/doing what makes YOU laugh or entertains you instead of what you think they’ll be interested in.

      Not saying this was a bad move or anything, this is just a general tip for your conversations. :)

      “Her: Where would you have even seen that?”

      lol it’s just such a strange conversation topic to bring up. At the same time though, if you hold your frame and have the mindset of “who cares where I saw it answer the fucking question already jeezus, c’mon, focus Woman lol”

      “(Her and her friend proceed to lose their shit over this — I don’t really get it, but I figure I’ve made a huge tactical error here)”

      There’s some shit that triggers fucking crazy “lose their shit” reactions with girls. The “Best Friends Test” was HUGELY popular with PUAs back in the early pickup days (you basically say you can tell they’re best friends because they make the same facial expressions and before they say anything they look at eachother first…which they ALWAYS look at eachother right after you say that, so you then instantly bust on them with SEE you just did it again lol They lose their fucking MINDS at this). Calling them Powerpuff Girls (back when PPG was popular) and naming one of them as the Good Girl and the other as the Bad Girl usually got the same kind of reaction.

      The funny part is I don’t think anyone ever really even looked into WHY they shit their pants over these things lol We just knew “this will make their brain explode” and would use it. Personally I think it’s just something they never in a million years expect a guy to understand let alone acknowledge or call them out on it so they freak out because you just dove way into chick-territory where no man is supposed to have breached lol

      Anyway, my point here is who the fuck knows why that blew their mind. For all you know they both have giant scrunchie collections at home and were just discussing which scrunchie to wear for an hour before they came to the bar and you just stumbled on it blindly lol

      “Her friend: You’re so dumb! (to be fair, said in a playful way) It’s scrunchie!”

      They’re less hostile now, even if they don’t want to actually fuck you or don’t even really LIKE you.

      “I mean, the way they say it and the way it feels, the teasing just doesn’t come off as overtly flirty to me. It just seems like they’re ripping on me. ”

      They basically just “don’t hate” you as much as the start now lol so ya they ARE ripping on you instead of flirting, but considering the shit-show you walked into and what you’re trying to work on and everything, don’t beat yourself up over it. You did good sticking through it all. This has all been pretty rocky/shaky as an interaction, but it’s just the nature of the beast while you’re solidifying your Identity and becoming congruent. Things will go a lot smoother down the road when shit-tests don’t phase you and you come off more solid.

      “Guy: (after a group laugh over something I said) Man….can we just like, we should just like make a cartoon out of you.”

      lol this is a tricky one because it can actually be a legit compliment. It DOES mean that you’re more of an entertainer than a “legit threat of fucking the girls”…but if you joined the group with a super “I’m going to bang your women” vibe, the guys would’ve tried to get rid of you. It’s two ends of a spectrum, you know? The Mystery Method way of handling groups tended to start out being an entertainer, then once they’ve hooked the set or one of the girls, isolate her from the group and transition into being a sexual threat. The modern direct RSD way where you go super sexual direct right off the bat is great on solo girls or small all-girl sets, etc. but it’s not solid group dynamics game. The MM way would work really well for you in this scenario you’re in here, sitting at a bar/lounge table with some strangers in an enviro where you can talk, whereas RSD type stuff is better at like a crazy elbow-to-elbow loud dance club.

      Generally with AMOGs, try to get into the mindset that everything is a compliment, even if it’s logically probably not…VS the opposite mindset where everything is an insult/AMOG-attempt, even if it’s logically probably not. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll “win” or get the girl or win over the group or whatever, but it’s a healthier mindset because a lot of times when people tease you but see that you laugh it off and they can’t shake you, they respect you for it and then legitimately warm up to you. That’s why Naturals give eachother a TON of shit…and a lot of beta computer nerd guys who don’t socialize much hang out with Naturals and the Naturals give them the usual ribbing they give eachother and the nerd guy is like “god those guys are such jerks” and his state goes to shit and he googles AMOG techniques etc. when really the Naturals were just joking around because they know none of them would get upset by being teased a bit so it’s actually unexpected to them that the nerd guy would be phased…make sense?

      Male social dynamics/interaction is like a whole fucking separate topic in general lol Especially when there are girls around.

      “Me: I dunno man, I’m pretty sure my lats are too huge to be drawn (stupid line, they can’t all be winners I guess….)”

      lol you know it’s no good so I don’t have to say it. This is basically you saying “ah shit, I feel bad because of your comment so I’m going to qualify myself to try to save face by bragging about something”. It’s the equivalent of the rich guy trying to qualify himself by bragging about his Ferrari…it just comes off like he feels insecure. Add to that the dynamic that it’s a male to male interaction where you have that “who’s the alpha, who’s reacting to who” dynamic at play and it kills your value quick.

      Not a big deal, like I say you know it wasn’t good and probably knew as soon as you said it. For something like that I’ll usually laugh and say like “lol I’m just drunk, this redbull has gone right to my head, ignore everything I say lol”…like I’m not taking it as an insult, and I’m not feeling insecure because I don’t mind self-depreciating a bit and I’m acting like a redbull is making me drunk so I’m basically just spouting nonsense and self-amusing which is like option 2 way up above where I’m just laughing off a shit-test and demonstrating some personality.

      “Guy: No I’m serious, you could have your own little animated series or something.”

      This says to me that he’s legitimately complimenting you, not trying to tool you. He may come OFF as having higher value to the girls from giving you his approval like that, but it doesn’t seem like it’s something he’s actively doing on purpose in a hostile way, like there isn’t an ill intention behind it. If he was trying to be a dick he’d probably have made fun of your lat drawing comment because it would be really easy to tool you from that, but he just kind of went “no no seriously”

      Thing is that still means you’re being an entertainer to him, like you suspect…so it doesn’t mean you’re going to get the girls or anything, but again if you’re working a mixed set like that, being an entertainer till later in the night isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

      And to hit up your posts below this:

      “Although, at one point I did make a little face with a chuckle and was like ‘hoooo….cold,’ and her friend went out of her way to say she was just kidding. So….they seem to not -dislike- me.”

      Ya, see, they might not want to fuck you, but you won them over enough to stop being so amazingly hostile. That’s something you should be pleased with in terms of your overall progress. :)

      “Well, I’m like 30 pounds overweight now :D”

      Like I say, stick to the gym stuff, it’ll help you feel good internally when you like your body more, plus it means achieving a goal you’ve set which is a good confidence boost as a man and builds your character.

      Notice though, that that whooooole interaction above wouldn’t have gone any different whether you had a 6-pack under your shirt or whether you had a big baggy winter jacket on hiding your body completely. All the stuff I explained and advice I gave on how you could turn things around, and the videos of Gambler and Robbie Williams staring those girls down, none of it has anything to do with “make sure you lose 2% more body fat before you try this”, you know? This is why a lot of guys who get into bodybuilding purely hoping it’ll get them girls, end up depressed and frustrated Forever Aloners because they don’t get that in an interaction like this, how they feel about themselves has more to do with building attraction than how they look.

      As I mentioned before, it sounds like you’re working out for your own approval instead of for girl’s approval though, so I’m not real worried about you there.

      “Plus, I’m a manlet, and half-black (although no one ever thinks I’m part black).”

      lol it’s an old joke but if I was half-black I’d be using the “it’s my lower half ;) lol” bit.

      You should have plenty to read, think about, watch, etc. from this for now. If you get some free time, hit up YouTube for the Mystery Method series someone posted up. Mystery’s a little weird as a speaker and some of the routines in it are pretty hokey/try-hard/over-used now, but like 99% of it is still rock solid psychology for working groups.

      But more importantly go out and get some more practice under your belt. :) Good luck!

Fat Women And Fat Men Aren’t Equally Repulsive

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Original Link

I have a question I have been grappling with though, given porn, men dropping out of dating etc, what I cant figure out is why girls are such still bitches who readily turn down every advance that comes their way. Seems like supply/demand should start to really change the dynamic, but to no avial.

It is just a massive FALSE overvaluation of themselves?

  • YaReally
    on December 10, 2012 at 5:06 pm
    Original Link

    Because girls run on emotion, not logic.

on December 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Original Link

True–overweight guys just aren’t fighting the same uphill battle in the marketplace that overweight women are. The caveat is that he has to be fat in a masculine way. Big belly, fine. The teddy-bear look actually works very well for a lot of men.

On the other hand…big FUPA or pear-shaped in that weirdly feminine way? Kind of hard to look at.

  • Scray
    on December 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm
    Original Link

    I think being fat in a ‘manly’ way only works when the guy is tall. Like, Vince Vaughn allowed himself to get pretty fat, but I doubt it really affected his attractiveness to women that much.

    Me, on the other hand — I’m short, so…my high (but dropping steadily) BMI works against me hardcore I bet. I carry my fat almost exclusively in my stomach and in my face. So…it’s the dreaded skinny fat.

    Basically, I’d say short men = fat women in SMV.

    • YaReally
      on December 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm
      Original Link

      Go out more. Meet more people.

      I have a handful of super short friends (5’0″-5’3″). 2 of them get hotter women than most of the guys commenting here and one of those two is skinny/frail, Asian, with blatantly fucked up teeth. His bread ‘n butter is banging waitresses & beer tub girls.

      Some of the other guys are better looking (the good facial features and in-shape body type, wearing suits all the time etc) but have less confidence than those two (the frail one peacocks heavily, the other wears skater clothes and has shaggy unkempt hair and basically looks like a bum lol).

      Their confidence is thru the roof and the frail one studies/applies game.

      They run their game a little differently from tall good-looking guys, a lot more behind the scenes shit and a heavier focus on using social circles to demonstrate value and create opportunities to isolate, but they’re guys you’d look at and go “no WAY that dude can get laid” until the hottie you were hitting on starts ignoring you to talk to them because they have better game and more charisma than you.

      In conclusion like I said before: go out more, meet more people.

on December 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Original Link

Biracial manlet checking in — still failing at this whole thing by the way. At least now I’m getting numb to it. Although, I had a particularly bad episode at the club a few nights ago. I started dancing with a girl, and she was somewhere between a 4 and a 6. She made a face, then expected me to notice she made a face. I was focused on other things besides her face at the time, so she informed me that when she made that face, it meant that she was ‘creeped out’ and didn’t desire my company.

Now, I know that we’re all supposed to remain nonreactive, but this broke the dam that holds back my primal anger. Sorry — we’re scaling new heights of betatude now. I just shrugged, stepped further into her space, snapped my fingers, and danced more. This woman lost her mind and literally -pushed- me away from her.

I blinked and held up my hands. Guess what happened? No less than 6 white knights arrived and told me how uncool I was being. Granted, I guess that was kind of a dick move — or hey, maybe certain people need to lighten the fuck up. So uh…yeah…..literally shoved away on the dancefloor. I’m starting to think that club dancefloors are -horrible- for me :D

  • YaReally
    on December 10, 2012 at 4:57 pm
    Original Link

    You don’t have an identity yet, which is fine because you’re still learning and observing other guys and adapting bits and pieces here and there to figure out your identity.

    The biggest thing about my short buddies who get laid is they have VERY clear-cut identities. They know exactly who they are and what behavior they do and don’t tolerate from people around them, and have developed extremely strong mental frames for how they view the world around them.

    Basically you’re still wishy-washy as a man. That’ll fix itself over time. It could take years, but it comes down to how much you want to get it handled. You are entirely capable of surpassing your buddies, you just don’t really believe that yet. Again this is stuff that you’ll fix over time, gaining little reference experiences that slowly add up. This isn’t something you’ll fix in a year.

    One of my close wings these days is a 6’4″ super good looking MMA Natural WITH solid game. It took me months to get out of his shadow and quit letting the logic of “there’s no way I can compete with him, he’s better looking than me” fuck with me and just trust Game and not subconsciously hold back. If I don’t do anything, he gets all the girls. But if I step up and fully execute and express myself thru my Game, I take the girls from him.

    You can also change your strategy up. If I’m out with a bunch of tall good-looking alpha jock types, I won’t open around them, I’ll venture off on my own or just with one of them, and work my shit. By the time those guys come over, the girls have experienced my awesomeness and even if my buddies are better looking they have an uphill battle because I’ve already got the girls feeling various emotions. If the other guy just relies on his looks and has no game, he’s practically invisible to the girls.

    My short buddies tend to work social circle game more than direct physical game. So they’re the leader of a group and inviting girls to parties or night out at other places, where they isolate the girl and escalate behind the scenes vs trying to be the make-out guy in the middle of the bar.

    One of my short buddies dances and girls love it and come over to dance with him because he’s just doing his own thing (dancing for his own amusement vs trying to dance over to a group of girls). But if he doesn’t do anything, the song ends and she leaves. So as the song winds down he grabs her hand and says “let’s go get a drink” and drags her over to get water at the bar. Except he’s actually dragging her specifically out of view of her friends so he can work his verbal game and DHV a bunch and escalate etc with no interference and if its a club enviro he collects her # and txts her thru the night while they’re still at the club to keep her mind on him, and meets her again “for food” closer to 2am or sets up a Day 2 for during the week. If its a lounge/pub enviro, once he’s hooked her after isolating he’ll lock her arm in his and introduce her to his friends and he’ll go back to the girl’s group and hang with them and work the group to get their approval and go home with her later with everyone’s blessing.

    The bad news is: you might not be running the type of game that really resonates with your personality/attributes/environment and that will take a while to figure out since you don’t have a strong identity yet.

    The good news is the Game has plenty of nuances to it that you get to experiment with and the cost of playing the game is just going out for a few hours and having fun…so it’s a long journey but ultimately a fun one. Hang in there lol

    • YaReally
      on December 11, 2012 at 11:04 pm
      Original Link

      Because I know what I’m talking about, dipshit.

      Why are you in a forum for men to discuss picking up women again? With all your vast experience picking up women?

      Oh, right, you have a vagina so you figure your opinion is relevant because you are the center of the world.

      Soon as you can offer the guy practical advice based on actual real-life experience that helps him get past his sticking points, feel free to contribute it. But you can’t. Because you are on the other side of the coin.

    • YaReally
      on December 11, 2012 at 11:29 pm
      Original Link

      That’s exactly it. You’re not “the (something) guy of the group” (except for the short guy lol but that’s based on your physical features you can’t control, not your personality).

      Maybe you’re the ballsy guy who’s an approach machine, maybe you’re the intense slow-talking guy, maybe you’re the energetic used-car salesman guy, maybe you’re the intellectual guy who talks about brainy shit, maybe you’re the sports buff who wouldn’t even talk to a chick if she didn’t root for your team, maybe you’re the cheesy romantic, maybe youre the loudmouth asshole, maybe you’re the dirty perv of the group, etc etc.

      Right now your identity is more “what will make me accepted, or at least not DISLIKED by the people around me”. So you’re coming from a frame where you are whoever you think your friends, bar buddies, girls dancing nearby, etc would approve of.

      Part of having a strong identity is being willing to be polarizing…ie – the world to you works a certain way and if other people have a problem with it oh well, that’s their problem, you’re not gonna change who you are because you know yourself.

      When you have an identity, a lot of alpha behaviors are built into it. Like the guy who’s big into sports, he asks the girl “do you like Team?” (qualifying/screening) “I don’t really watch Sport…” “pffft we’ll never work out then” (push) “!! I mean but I could learn!!” (trying to regain his validation) “hmmm I guess I could give you a chance, but normally I’m not into the girly types. I like a girl who can go running and play sports with me” (qualifying/screening) “oh I love running!!” Etc etc

      The brainy guy shares exciting shit he’s into and is bored by girls who can’t keep up with him. So again he screens and qualifies girls because of his identity.

      The unstoppable player of the group gets “I don’t date short guys” and goes “oh I don’t want to DATE you… ;)” The asshole of the group gets “I don’t date short guys” and goes “that’s okay I don’t date ugly girls. But I figure after a couple of drinks both our standards will go down.” The super cocky guy goes “what makes you think I’m interested in you? You’re hot, but what have you got going for you besides tits?”

      All these different identities are polarizing. Like I’m the fast-talking asshole perv of my group. So quiet shy girls won’t like me. But loud bitch-shieldy girls LOVE me because I get in their face. Either way, I make an impact good or bad on both of those girls compared to the generic average guy who has no identity. I am on their radar, I am impossible to ignore, here I am try to keep up, know what I mean?

      You’ll form your identity over time and it’ll probably surprise you down the road when you settle into your groove that works for you. The thing is parts of it are already there, you’re really unlocking your identity from the social conditioning that’s told you “that’s not cool don’t do or say that don’t talk about take don’t do this make sure you always do that”. That’s why we go out so much…each experience you run into and all the different methods you try in the game, you find bits and pieces that really resonate with you. Maybe direct doesn’t feel congruent for you, maybe social circle events are where your personality really shines, maybe being an asshole is actually fun to you, maybe you love peacocking, etc. you have to experiment and go out.

      The catch is guys will go “oh that’s not me” and avoid something without really trying it for a while, and then they just stay how they are. You really have to be like “okay this month I’m going to try being more direct” and “this month I’m going to try peacocking” etc

      You’ll get the hang of it. You may be exactly like someone else in your group or you may be completely different from them, who knows? You’ll find that out in time. :)

    • YaReally
      on December 12, 2012 at 12:02 am
      Original Link

      Also 2 things:

      1) the weight stuff is fine man, keep at it. You’ll definitely feel better and it’ll come thru in your confidence. For new guys you have to get a handle on that stuff, grooming and fashion and all that. The problem to watch out for is when you make the excuse of “well I won’t go out yet I’m still at 19% body fat, when I get down to 15% ill DEFINITELY go out!!” or “well I don’t have a job right now so once I get a job ill approach that cute girl over there” etc. guys use that stuff as an excuse to avoid taking action. There are literally guys who think if they work their ass off making money for 10+ years and become a big CEO working 80+hrs a week etc that they’re going to just buy a fancy suit and walk into a club and they’ll tear it up like a boss. Those guys stand around with their bottle service VIP booth and a drink at their chest and hire a hooker at 2am because they put off learning to seduce women until the time was “perfect”

      It doesn’t sound like this’ll be a problem for you though because you’re going out as you work out so that’s good, you’re a step ahead of a lot of guys learning pickup because you’re getting out there while you work on your body. So keep it up!

      2) hit on hotter girls. Think about why I say that, from a game perspective. What do you think of, say, Babe Ruth pointing out the homerun he’s gonna hit? You think either “that guy’s crazy” or “shit, if he’s that sure of it he must’ve hit a ton of home runs before so he can probably do it”. So what does it say when a guy who’s short, chubby, and theoretically shouldn’t have a shot with a turbo 9 or 10, walks right over to her and chats her up? Either he’s crazy or he completely expects to get girls like that because he’s done it before.

      Sure, you may crash and burn but 1) you get some awesome reference experiences, 2) everyone thinks you’re ballsy as FUCK because even the 6’4″ model guy is nervous to approach her so you get tons of respect not just from your friends but from everyone in the room for even trying, and 3) you’re implying to the girl “this isn’t something insane to me, I’m used to getting girls like you, now lets see if you impress me enough to have a chance with me” and she’s going to have less of a bitch-shield with you because she’s going to be curious at wtf you’ve got going on that you’d believe you could get her.

      Come to think of it, the short guys I know either rarely get laid at all (the unconfident guys) or get laid by super hot girls. There’s very little middle ground, if I think back on it. I hadn’t really noticed that before lol

      Anyway also consider that with the hotter girls, if you get rudeness, shit, that’ll roll right off your back, she’s phenomenal looking. It’s when you KNOW the chick doesn’t deserve you, when you KNOW she should be grateful you gave her the time of time, and when you KNOW you could and should get better girls than her, that her rudeness pisses you off as much as it does. :)

    • YaReally
      on December 12, 2012 at 12:24 am
      Original Link

      As an exercise think of each of your friends who do well with women and think “what is their identity? What are their obvious values?” and think about people you know with a strong identity…how would each of them react to a girl sneering at them?

      Mystery has a lot of haters and looks ridiculous…BUT he had a very strong identity. To a sneer he’d just drop a “you can dress her up but you can’t take her anywhere” to her friend in the group. I would call her out and tell her not to be a bitch. James Bond would just chuckle like she was a silly little girl. How would your friends react?

      How did YOU react? You probably weren’t sure HOW to react, because you’re still figuring out your identity and that’s where this comes from. :)

      What are you boundaries? Your values? What behavior do you accept or not accept from people? How do you let them know that? When’s the last time you made someone aware that they’ve crossed a boundary with you? Ever? We’re conditioned by society to be easy going and hold back our thoughts and feelings for fear of people not liking us or approving of us…but the guys who get laid are the ones who you can go “oh man if she said that to HIM, he would do such and such”. You want to be one of those guys people say that about

on December 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Original Link

Of course!!!

Women enjoy being small or smaller because it makes us feel feminine. Even if it is relative petiteness, say being a 5’11 girl married to a 6’6 guy. Being smaller than your husband is very important because then both of you can appreciate the sexual dimorphism between you…..

This is why it’s harder for short guys. It’s not anything to do with you. You make us feel big. That’s it. Same thing with fat girls. They make you feel small. That’s it.

Hmm, which is interesting that it’s total omegas who are “into” fat chicks, probably the same group of men who have sick cuckold fetishes- men who have accepted their total emasculation by modern society….

  • Liz
    on December 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm
    Original Link

    Exactly so! I would hate it if my husband was smaller than I am.

    • YaReally
      on December 10, 2012 at 6:54 pm
      Original Link


on December 10, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Original Link

Awesome, the Simple Pickup guys made it onto Jezebel. I haven’t even read the article yet but I’m sure it’s full of implications that they’re evil rapists lol

I wonder how it’ll go over considering the Simple Pickup guys are pretty much the nicest friendliest funniest PUA types around the net these days…it’s easy to make fun of creepy Mystery and Tyler, but even to the mainstream public the SP guys are generally just goofing around. Plus they have an Asian and Indian guys of average height/looks who do well with chicks, so they’re underdogs busting stereotypes left and right really. I imagine the general reaction to this article will be a lot more “jesus lighten up” lol

  • immoralgables
    on December 10, 2012 at 7:10 pm
    Original Link

    Don’t let Scray hear how these average looking guys are doing well with women and busting stereotypes. We might have to hear another woe is more tale about the ONE girl that shut him down when he did a tucked up approach.

    • YaReally
      on December 10, 2012 at 7:20 pm
      Original Link

      lol I actually left him an encouraging reply when I saw his longer thread where it sounds like he’s actually interested in trying to figure his shit out. I thought he was just pissing and moaning like that Wolfie guy at first but it sounds like he’s working on it so good on him and I have to give him props for it. But my posts are all doing that thing where they don’t show up until next week sometime :P

      Also the initial wave of “look at those evil evil menz” feminists/whiteknights set in on that article, but I’m hoping it spreads around and some calm rational gamer types lighten things up there. It’s amazing how they can ignore all the positive responses from the girls in the video and just pick out the really offensive shit to paint the SP guys with. brb video of 10 girls laughing and smiling and giving their numbers and 1 girl being offended TAR AND FEATHER THE BASTARDS!!11 lol

      Ah well, more publicity for them at least. I like their shit, they make PUA look a lot less creepy and weird than the Mystery generation did (even though Mystery Method is still rock solid and the concepts are still there inside all these different styles of pickup, the way of executing it back then was easy to mock).

Reader Mailbag: Macropenis Edition

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 7, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Original Link

I have a bartender story.

I went to a shitty film school that was located down the street from one of the hottest, largest universities in America. It was my fledgling PUA days and there was this particular college bar I frequented to hone my craft. I went from a straight AFC wallflower to a respectable PUA during my 2 years going there so needless to say, the bar was like a second home to me. I was there whenever my friends decided not to go out, which was 3-4 nights a week — yes, I went to this bar 3-4 nights a week, alone, and taught myself how to pull without a single wingman.

Anyway, there was this bartender, a solid HB9. Every chode I ran into was obsessed over this girl. We developed an odd relationship where I would tip her $2 for every drink (drinks were either free or $1) and after a few months, she started recognizing me and would make my drink whenever I showed up without having to order. Even when the bar was packed — which was often — she would keep an eye out for me and made my drink as soon as I walked up. We always exchanged drinks and tips without ever saying a word. Needless to say, this was a huge DHV and girls who waited 15 minutes for drinks would be like “who are you????”

This chick also worked the floor as a shot girl a few hours a night so she pretty much watched me go from being a wallflower who couldn’t make eye contacts to a peacocking asshole tonguing random sluts and their friends on the dance floor over the course of 2 years. She would’ve been fucking retarded to NOT know I was a PUA or learning PUA.

About a year in, she started giving me signals but I was too thickheaded to know what they were. Keep in mind that I was going off routines to establish attraction so I was completely clueless when a hot girl was hinting attraction right off the bat. My inner game was so bad and self-esteem was so low that I didn’t take ANY of it as IOIs. She would do shits like bumping/falling into me on the dance floor as she made her rounds and apologized, and tried to start small talks with me. One time, her boyfriend (alpha with a bike) came to see her, they were walking through the crowd and holding hands but as soon as she noticed me she let his hand go. Again, I didn’t give any of it much thought, I was borderline having oneitis with this girl but I always figured she saw me as some fake player who happened to be a good tipper and that was it.

Around the time school ended, I was so satisfied with the plates I was spinning that I stopped going out. My last night in town, I went back to that bar for old times sake, she saw me and immediately lit up. She asked me why I stopped coming and we talked a bit. It was a packed night and she pretty much dropped everything to focus on me. We learned each other’s names for the first time that night and the next morning I drove 2000 miles to LA.

Fast-forward 5 months later, I decided to do some facebook stalking and looked her up. Her status the morning after I left:

“I finally learned your name <3"

Moral of the story: hot chicks love PUAs even when they know that PUA used to be an AFC.

  • J.B.
    on December 7, 2012 at 7:59 pm
    Original Link

    Question related to this story.

    When you got good at PUA and you were going out 3-4 nights per weeks:

    1) how many new girls were you having sex with per week?
    2) how many of them were ONS as opposed to D2s?

    I ask because I am a fledgling PUA and I am curious as to what type of learning curve to expect.


    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2012 at 3:18 pm
      Original Link

      Depending on how hard-case a newbie you are, you could invest a ton of time before you even get laid. I spent probably my first year+ of going out regularly just unwiring shitty beliefs and learning to socialize like a normal human being in general.

      And down the road you quit caring about notch count and look more at chemistry and quality and fun in general with girls a lower priority, like Tyler explains above. I turn down a shit-load of easy lays now just because I don’t want to waste my time with girls that aren’t a specific type. I’ll still flirt with them for practice but I’m a lot pickier about which girls I choose to actually hook up with or see more than once.

      Anti-game types will be like “oh well you had to put in X amount of time and spend X amount of money and the trade off is only X amount of pussy, what a waste” from their armchairs, but the reality is that PUA is a complete overhaul of your life from top to bottom, internal and external, and it’s a slow process to internalize everything. You don’t just read “okay do XYZ and that’ll work” and then do it. You’ll do it a thousand times fucking up or running into unexpected obstacles at different points in XYZ until you learn to handle that stuff and work around it…and the benefits extend beyond the pussy notch count. I can go into a bar as an unknown and walk out with most of the bar knowing me by name, new friends and social circles, invites to parties/events, bartenders bouncers and managers giving me VIP status and remembering me by name, some random makeouts and #s, etc. all stone cold sober. Even if I don’t take a girl home that night, that’s something I could never have done as an AFC and something most guys couldn’t do…the average guys’ night out is standing in a circle with his buddies with beers up at their chest feeling intimidated and overwhelmed by the club environment, getting hammered as they comment on how hot each girl that passes by is, until they’re drunk enough that they finally overcome the social pressure they’re feeling and drunkenly stumble around hoping to find an equally hammered average to ugly girl they can buy drinks for and cross their fingers they get a make out or better.

      You can’t learn this without going out and putting in the time. You need pain to transform:

on December 8, 2012 at 12:48 am
Original Link

been with a new girl for about two months now.

she has informed me on multiple occasions that 1) i am too coy with her 2) she wouldnt mind it if i were less aloof 3) i could be sweeter with her. i am sparing with my affections, admittedly.

last guy she dated was “clingy” and frankly, sounds like kind of a bum. i’m a huge believer in having my own “mission”–very driven, very solid job, keep myself in good shape, etc, and she has made comments to the effect that she likes this.

the other night she was at my place (giving me an early christmas present). her phone rang 4 or 5 times–this is not a common event. each time she glanced at it, somewhat embarrassed, and quickly ignored the call. i get texts from other girls frequently when this girl is around; i normally look at it, pause, and then get back to what i was talking about. finally, after the 4th or 5th, i raised my eyebrow and said “you should probably take the call, make sure everything is ok.” she got really red, and said “no, no, it’s ok.”

two questions:

1) based on her comments, should i tone down my aloof behavior with her? i’m very cocky&funny (hate abbreviations) with her, but i approach this more from an alpha than a pua perspective, if that makes sense. thing is, she’s a good girl–she’s “with it,” level-headed, not an attention whore, knows how to act, etc., so at the very least, i’m interested in keeping her around a bit longer, but i’d like to know whether i maintain my aloof nature or tone it down, because she’s definitely been dropping hints like crazy that she’d like more attention. defying expectations is one thing, but turning her off is another

2) the calls the other night – an (the?) ex? if so, what should have been my appropriate response, and what is the response going forward? my plan is largely to demonstrate value through 1) attracting other women and 2) maintaining my own high personal value (looks, social status, etc.), but i’m not sure what emotional investment i’m dealing with her and that’s a tricky subject to split. tying this into (1), if this guy is ringing her every couple nights (not that i dont get calls, i just tell girls WHEN they MAY call), i don’t want my aloof-game to blow up in my face as a result if she wants more attention.

advice appreciated

  • YaReally
    on December 8, 2012 at 3:38 pm
    Original Link

    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm
      Original Link

      You are putting your P in her V while she ignores calls from her ex. Why would you change what you’re doing? lol

      If you want to stop the nagging and competition with her ex, try this:

      Next call she gets, stop having sex and yell at her without giving her a chance to explain herself or discuss anything, saying you know that’s her ex and you know she’s banging him and fuck it you guess you don’t mean as much to her as you thought, call her a slut and tell her to go be with him instead and shout this is why you can’t let girls in because they just break your heart as you kick her out and then ignore her txts/calls for a couple days.

      It’ll be the most exciting week of her life.

    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2012 at 2:17 pm
      Original Link

      I have a Natural buddy who does this kind of stuff all the time. It’s pretty funny but the more important thing is that it works, especially on the good girls who probably aren’t banging their ex. She panics and realizes she might lose my buddy and that emotional rollercoaster is WAY more earth-shaking to her than whatever gay shit her ex is txting and she goes into chase mode trying to win him back.

      He apologizes for freaking out (“i dunno I never get jealous like that about a girl…it’s weird, I don’t know why I freaked out…”) later so of course she thinks “omg he has FEELINGS for me, i’m taming the untame-able player, i’m special and going to save him!” and he acts a bit distant and let’s her win him back and then she’s all over him again and tells her ex to go away because now she has a new project to invest in and my buddy is providing all the emotional excitement she needs.

      If she’s txting her ex, or any other guys, it’s because you’re not providing the emotional rollercoaster of excitement she needs to feel alive and attracted so she’s creating her own drama to fill that by having a “secret” tryst situ.

      Think of it like this: do soap operas and twilight and 90210 and shit just show normal pleasant people being decent to each other as they just go about their lives doing normal things? Or does the evil twin brother seduce the girl and then break her heart after her interfering brother is murdered and she pines for her dead lover as she solves her brothers murder while opening her heart again to the evil twin etc etc?

      Julien from RSD has a lot of videos about purposely creating drama. Personally I don’t care enough about most girls to bother with it because I like my life drama free and would rather just move on to the next girl. But it’s something guys should try a few times just to understand the dynamics and you never know what style of game is going to resonate with you so it’s worth giving a go.

      Of course this guy won’t do it, because he’s feeling one-itisey, but he should. :)

    • YaReally
      on December 12, 2012 at 1:37 am
      Original Link


      lol awesome. Props for setting a boundary. She’ll respect you more for it, and hey, you got an answer for what the buzzing was about. I would actually 100% trust that it really is an alarm for her pill and not actually her ex. It would be a pretty elaborate ruse for her to set an Alarm thing just to dupe you and it explains why she’s embarrassed about it and not “answering” it etc. Plus it lines up with how ASD works in general (not wanting you to think she’s a slut).

      I’m not saying drop your other girls and get all clingy on her, but I’d say you can trust that she’s telling the truth in this situ and ultimately you handled it like a boss…her extra affection is evidence of that. :) You’ve also let her know that if she DOES think of seeing other guys, you are fully prepared to drop her, so it’s not even an attractive option to her to risk cheating (VS the married spineless beta who’s cheating wife KNOWS he won’t/can’t do anything about it). But ya, do continue to spin some plates like you are.

      Well done dude! Glad it worked out. You’ll probably have smooth sailing with her for a while…till the next drama comes up lol

on December 8, 2012 at 3:41 am
Original Link

The way a woman reacts to a painfully big penis is the single best barometer of how she confronts masculinity in general. Paradoxically, petite women seem to enjoy it more than 5’9 SWPLs.

  • AW
    on December 8, 2012 at 7:15 am
    Original Link

    Man, from experience – there is some truth to this. I am packing somewhat more than average, but not ridiculous pornstar status. Only one girl ever made a big deal about it and she was the tallest curviest girl I ever banged, probably 5’10, almost amazonian haha. She would do the clenched teeth sharp inhalation thing while I was pounding away. I found it amusing at the time because I’d just gotten off a string of very petite girls, the smallest of which was 5′ and 98 lbs, and besides admiring comments, it never was an issue with any of them. I wondered if maybe nature just gave her an especially short canal…

    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2012 at 3:46 pm
      Original Link

      “Vaginal size varies greatly, and doesn’t necessarily correlate to height.”


on December 8, 2012 at 11:06 am
Original Link

Need an assist here– how do you discuss GFs “innocent flirting” in my presence without coming across as needy/insecure/jealous?

  • immoralgables
    on December 8, 2012 at 1:23 pm
    Original Link

    Don’t discuss. Action and emotions trump logical discussions. Turn the tables on her. Flirt with other girls. Make it appear that others are pursuing YOU and use texting to your advantage in that regard. See how she responds…

    • YaReally
      on December 8, 2012 at 3:52 pm
      Original Link


      A lot of girls will test a guy by flirting with other guys and seeing how he reacts. If she’s into you and you don’t give a shit about her flirting and are instead flirting with other girls yourself, you’ll find she pretty much 100% of the time ditches the guy she was flirting with (either instantly or by the end of the night) to come cockblock you and claim her territory from “those sluts”.

      For hot girls sex is easy, they could say to any guy “hey wanna fuck?” and the guy is on board. So they think its that easy for guys. You could just be making small talk with a girl but yours will see it and think “omg they’re going to have sex if I don’t stop it!!” and her whole mission becomes getting your attention back. Then just take her home and fuck her.

The Fallacious β€œWar On Women”

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 7, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Original Link

Frame. It’s all about frame control. The power hungry politicians have allowed the feminists to get frame control of the cultural belief system in the western world, in exchange for their voting support.

You, if you want freedom, must break that frame control without butt hurt, but instead with implacable confidence and alpha smirking. Most former betas struggle with this, and show too much anger and bitterness when discussing these issues.

Remember, women pick up on the non-verbal cues that you are still angry and bitter about the after-taste of the red pill. You can never win an argument when your own body is betraying what your mouth is sayin’….

  • Anonymous
    on December 7, 2012 at 1:20 pm
    Original Link

    I disagree with the trend CH is leading with the “smirking is all you can do” nonsense that uses the “butthurt” concept to corral men’s behavior.

    From first hand experience, I can say that women want men to verbally call them on their BS. No need to smirk, except in a bar when there are other girls around.

    But we’re not talking about a bar environment in most cases.

    It’s not looking “butthurt” that you have to be concerned about but what other girls nearby hear.

    You can teach women blue pill reality and not appear butt hurt. .

    • YaReally
      on December 10, 2012 at 6:59 pm
      Original Link

      This is a really important paragraph that shows you fully and completely understand frame control. Good stuff, everyone should read this.

Evidence That Peacocking Works

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 5, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Original Link

The study looks credible, but I wouldn’t use mystery as an example of success. Look at the photo, dude’s pushing the stroller (a pink one nonetheless) while his Ugg-wearing, fast fading 8 tops (wife? I don’t even know) smokes a cig (which she probably does around the kid). Odd jewelry and dress may work well for particular personality/body types, but I’m not wasting my time with it. Building up real value: wealth, body, experience cold approaching women, is the real foundation upon which to build success.

  • Bill Soft
    on December 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm
    Original Link

    The take-away from that photo for me is this. Would mystery be with that “fast fading 8″ without the peacocking? If I didn’t know it was mystery in that photo, I would just see some random lanky douche with a girl that in my opinion is above his SMV. If a bit of peacocking can pull you a half point to a point higher SMV woman, then it seems to me like it would be worth investigating. You say “wealth, body, etc…” Well how do you make a woman aware of those advantageous SMV qualities that you possess without peacocking them? A flash of cash. A nice wrist watch. Clothing that would conform to the better-than-the-average-beta build that you’ve worked for. Are these not a form of peacocking?

    • YaReally
      on December 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm
      Original Link

      “Try some of this shit out and step away from the keyboard”

      This. No one gives a shit what you “think” or “don’t think”. If you haven’t gone out and spent a few months peacocking, shut the fuck up with your theories cause you’re just mentally masturbating.

    • YaReally
      on December 6, 2012 at 5:37 pm
      Original Link

      @King A
      Don’t worry, you can join us for a 3-some and be the middle spoon. <3


      "Peacocking works for girls to some extent, especially if they are 8 and up."

      No shit, where do you think we learned it from? lol Most of Game is backwards engineered from shit hot girls do.

on December 5, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Original Link

He looks absolutely miserable.

  • White Woman
    on December 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm
    Original Link

    I think the woman is pretty but it is a bad sign that she’s smoking around her child. And making him push the stroller. How much does she value the union?

    • YaReally
      on December 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm
      Original Link

      We’re working on it. You can start here:

      I haven’t read his “How To Create and Maintain Open Relationships With Women” and “How To Create Or Convert To An Open Marriage” eBooks myself yet, but skimming the summaries of their content and given Blackdragon’s reputation (one of the top PUAs on open long-term relationships) I would recommend them.

      Hell, I’ll probably pick them up myself for the future even though I already have a solid handle on short-term (0-2 years) Open Relationships because down the road when I get older I’ll probably be interested in longer-term ORs. If I do, I’ll review them for y’all.

      I’m not spamming his shit, I’m just saying this is a guy who knows what he’s talking about and is well respected in the PUA community on this topic, and personally I would give his eBooks a look if you’re a guy who wants to get into Open Relationships…you could just Google for all his posts on PUA forums (mostly sedFast) but the eBooks are probably more concise compliations of information than skimming through forum threads.

    • YaReally
      on December 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm
      Original Link

      P.S. There’s a lifetime refund guarantee on his eBooks. “I will refund all of your money, anytime, no questions asked. I have no problem offering this kind of guarantee because I know for a fact these techniques work.”

      He also admits that this setup isn’t perfect or anything, it’s impossible to have a perfect arrangement…but compared to the Disney monogamy marriage where one or both of you ends up cheating, you get crippled in a divorce, you spend years going without sex, etc., it’s an alternative worth exploring lol Why settle into a system you know going in is completely broken?

on December 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Original Link

So this is the culmination of years of game? I felt pretty bad for this guy after reading The Game, but now I really pity him. This is one of the greatest PUAs of our time (if you believe the hype, which I do). More importantly, he’s world traveled, well above 6 feet tall, semi-famous, and he still ends up another goofball beta, pushing a stroller with an average looking wife/babymom? STILL?

[Heartiste: Plz refrain from pointy elbow internet nerd syndrome. The chick is hot. Hotter than most girls. As for the kid… well, goes to show that girls want to have the babies of alpha PUAs after all.]

This is one of the most depressing photos I’ve ever seen.

[I think it’s more humorous than depressing.]

Focusing on money, fitness, and relationship game are better time investments than mastering pick-up. Fuck ending up like this.

[Clearly you are a troll who did not read the linked post and craves the soft caresses of Mount Dork.]

  • YaReally
    on December 5, 2012 at 5:52 pm
    Original Link

    Sorry, what was that you were saying?

on December 5, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Original Link

The usual peacocking refresher:

1) peacocking just means standing out. Suit at a dive/average bar, t-shirt at a formal event, same result. Clean cut around rockers, tatoo’ed up around iBankers, same result.

2) it instantly indicates you can handle shit from men and women (confidence), and allows her to shit-test you to open you (passing shit-tests = attraction booster = faster/easier lays)

3) despite how he dresses, mystery advocates just one interesting thing for normal guys in average enviros. Your “cool necklace” won’t get you noticed by the 10s in high-end Hollywood/Vegas nightclubs where girls look like this:

And your male competition is LITERALLY celebrities.

But when mystery walks by in his fucked up costumes those girls all go “omg who is THAT??” and half the work is done for him. You don’t need to dress that crazy in your shitty local bar where the guys are wearing striped polos and flip-flops.

4) if you’re out of state you will just look like a weirdly dressed idiot lol half of peacocking successfully is mentally believing you look awesome (aka confidence and frame control). If you fail shit-tests about your peacocking you will look even more retarded than if you hadn’t peacocked at all…pass them and you get laid easier. It’s a double-edged sword.

5) Tyler and most of the RSD guys don’t really peacock anymore except for special occasions (besides simply dressing well). Mystery takes off his props and games the bar in his VH1 show (2nd season, 1st ep I believe). It’s really not a necessary skill and ironically now that peacocking is mainstream, in some environments NOT peacocking IS peacocking lol

6) it really does work. Try it for a few months and see…that’s what us PUAs all did. I dress normal now because my game is tight enough without peacocking and my competition where I’m currently living is super peacocky (everyone in suits or affliction or a stylish combination of the two). For my current enviro a plain black t-shirt or dress shirt with no skulls or sparkles is unique lol. If I took a trip to LA or Vegas I would probably step it up a few notches.

  • YaReally
    on December 5, 2012 at 6:21 pm
    Original Link

    7) fucking LOL at Mystery’s FML face in that pic. I know those feels.

John Dark
on December 5, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Original Link

The Private Man is right, dressing better than those around you elevates your value. But some of the other comments here seem confused about the whole subject of male style. Defending what you wear in CH comments is unconvincing, in terms of using clothes as an aid to game. This incomprehension is not surprising, as one of the things that feminised men lack, is an understanding of male style. This has an effect on the general public perception of men’s style.

As I understand it Peacocking and dressing for high social value have two different intents. Heartiste has succinctly defined Peacocking above.

Dressing for social value is different. As part of your Game you show women that you understand style and deploy it in your own individual way. Remember women are taught about clothes and style from the moment they are old enough to speak. They understand your style instinctively (this is a proven fact).

This is a big area of study but some simple rules always apply. Women find good shoes attractive. Classic Brogues (Alden or Church) go better with casual clothes than Oxfords. If you want to see Brogues cut for clubbing style go see the English brand Grenson. If you want insanely sexy shoes for men see the English brand Jeffrey West.

Always buy the best you can, Ralph Lauren over Gap. They always look, fit and wear better. Women see this and assess it in a millisecond.

Fit is king. Suits work if (A) they have a modern (slim) cut and fit and (B) there is some excitement in the fabric. Brands that do this well are Ted Baker (Budget), Canali (Mid-price). Your end goal should be bespoke, the ultimate good fit.

And Heartiste is right about this all being holistic. Do not forget men’s perfumes. Women are hugely turned on by men’s perfumes, in ways that men are not biologically equipped to understand. Do a little research and buy a good perfume, either from a major brand or from one of the new niche perfume houses.

Learn how to wear it. I am currently wearing 1740 from Histoire De Perfums. Not only does it knock women dead (as my mate Michael Caine used to say) but I feel like a sex god wearing it. Or if you want to stay with a US house, try Ineke of San Francisco. Her “Derring-Do” or “Evening Edged in Gold” are masterpieces of men’s perfume. Be warned, “Evening” is big, make sure you have the swagger to carry it off.

Once you have the basics, the detailing is the next step. Accessorise so that your clothes fit your individual image. There are lots of ways to do this.

  • YaReally
    on December 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm
    Original Link

    I used febreeze as cologne for a while. I’m not kidding, tho girls thought I was when I told them lol

    • YaReally
      on December 7, 2012 at 4:13 pm
      Original Link

      Reality is girls just don’t care.

      If she’s attracted to you, whatever scent you’re wearing becomes sexy to her. If she’s not attracted, it doesn’t matter what you wear.

      It all comes back to game.

on December 5, 2012 at 7:45 pm
Original Link

An experiment:
Go to Walmart and buy a dress shirt that sort of fits you and is within a sub-20 dollar budget.
Next, go to an upscale establishment and get something as near as possible to the colour and style of the Walmart bit.but this time your budget is 100 plus dollars and let the fitting be precise.
Go out with one or the other to the same kind of place and similar kinds of people.

  • Dr. Zoidberg
    on December 5, 2012 at 8:50 pm
    Original Link

    I have done this. It makes no difference. My $17.99 Stafford JC Penny shirts work just as well if not better than expensive brands.

    It’s not the shirt, its the wearer. Hell, my Carhart bibs have gotten me laid more than any $100 Ralph Lauren bullshit ever could.

    • YaReally
      on December 7, 2012 at 4:10 pm
      Original Link

      “(to the girl as suit-man walks or stands nearby) wow check out that guy’s suit, that’s fucking pimp. He looks like James Bond. I feel so underdressed in this T-Shirt. You should fuck him, no guy spends that much money on a suit unless he’s got a huge cock under it. I’m just saying, mine is tiny, you would be so disappointed in it. Hey, I saw that, you’re looking at my crotch. (grab her in close, put her hands around my shoulders, my hands around her hips) Fucking pervert, why are you so obsessed with my crotch? I’m totally not putting out tonight you know, you’re not even my type (cheeky grin), I think you’re hideous. ;) (makeout)”

      Or in situs where the guy is in set or enters my set or tried pouncing on my girl while I was taking a piss:

      “(to the guy) wow that’s an awesome suit man, you look like fucking James Bond. (to the girl) this guy is awesome, you’re lucky your boyfriend dresses up when you guys go out, my ex never dressed up. Oh? He’s not your boyfriend? Oh shit sorry, awkward lol well he fuckin SHOULD be. The man has a SUIT, god. What more could you want? If you don’t date him you’re gonna be stuck with the rest of us ugly poor fuckers. Look at me I’m in a fuckin t-shirt. (side-step, turn her away from the suit guy) I gotta get a suit, what do you think, would I look hot in a suit? Ya? God, why are you so SHALLOW. You’re supposed to love me for my personality, not my ridiculously handsome good looks. I hate you, you shallow shallow bitch. Aww no, I’m kidding, I love you. Can you love me even in my t-shirt? (cut the space and get closer, put her arms up around my shoulders and mine at her waist). Because it seems like you love me already. I’m just saying. (knowingly cheesy) Don’t hold back your feelings, this is destiny. (get closer). But don’t think I’m going to kiss you, you’re not my type, being so shallow and all. I only like sweet (kiss) innocent (kiss) girls who (makeout)…what was I saying again?”

      Don’t waste $1000 on a suit till you have game lol

on December 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm
Original Link

Would like the commentariat’s feedback on a text exchange from today. Met this girl at a party last night. I’m not really concerned with the meet up but would like to know if there was any spot I fucked up or could tighten up in the future.

I’m sticking with default scripts/lines I learned from Heartiste, other commenters and Decibel and it’s working for me until I get better so yeah.

Got her number at the venue and said I would text her something naughty:

Me: Something naughty
Me: It’s IG

Her: :)

Me: Turns out I’m 28-32% more incredible today. How’s your day.
(Sent this early afternoon next day)

Her: Who told u that
Her: So far so good…

Me: Um. Every single girl giving me the bedroom eyes when I walk past them on the street.

Her: U coulda just had cum on your face

Me: Naughty girl. No gifts from Santa this year *spank*

Her: Lol sorry lol
Her: How’s your day tho?

Me: Stop thinking about me so much and get back to work
(about 1.5hrs later)

Her: Cocky too??? Smh

Me: What is it about cocky guys that you’re so attracted too

Her: I guess u gonna have to show me

Me: Fine but want ur opinion on something

Her: What’s that

Me: What body part do u find sexiest on men

Her: Chest

Me: That says a lot abt u

Her: What does it say?

Me: That you like it rough

Her: No I don’t actually

Me: Oh.
(Props to Walawala on that one)
Me: Free tomorrow night
(Sent this a few hours later)

Her: After 11

Me: I should be out in XYZ part of the city where u going to be at

Her: ABC part of the city

Me: Ok let’s meet up around then. I’ll think of a spot on west side of town

Her: I know a spot

Me: Name

Her: On xy and ab steet. I believe the name is xyz ill check and tell u at 11

Me: Ok cool

I think I did ok overall. Could have shunned her or punished for the cum on your face comment but good exercise and taking it sexual early on. Or at least trying to.


[Heartiste: Not bad. Btw, the “U coulda just had cum on your face” line is really skanky for a girl to text after you just met her. To me, this indicates she will need some fuel injected shots of assholery. I suggest being a little gruff and aloof with her. Also, skip the wit and keep your replies short n sweet, always shorter than hers. The minute you exhibit neediness she will bolt.]

  • Canadian Friend
    on December 6, 2012 at 4:28 pm
    Original Link

    to me the “cum on your face” comment seems to indicate she will disrespect you regularly. the fact she said such a thing so early in the exchange is a bad sign

    either that or she sucks a lot of cocks and talking about “cum on the face” is to her like talking about the weather

    or worse, was she alluding to you sucking cocks/being gay?

    either way – to me in my arrogant opinion – that seems to indicate she is disrespectful and might be a lot of trouble

    • YaReally
      on December 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm
      Original Link

      “She ended up texting me thursday night to see if we were still on. I just texted back “Nah” and went out elsewhere.”



      Bunch of fucking prudes in this place, jeebus. “I want to fuck this girl but she made a dirty joke eeww I don’t want to fuck her anymore” lol

      way I read it you didn’t have her very interested at the start. But you plowed and just didn’t care that she wasn’t giving you much to work with because you love yourself so much and that won her over. Brad from RSD had a video recently where he explains when he runs into girls who don’t respond to him like cold shoulder style he’ll just ramble and go “oh you’re not talking? That’s cool I love hearing the sound of my own voice, and I wouldn’t be listening to you anyway because anything I say is obviously going to be more interesting than what you would say” etc until she lightens up lol

      “How’s ur day tho?” is her ioi, that’s where she goes from statements/burns and not holding up the convo to investing in it. You got that because you passed the cum-face shit-test. She was just throwing out something offensive and sexual to see what you’d do. If you reacted like a guy who’s never had sex or like a prude, you’d be done, but you scolded her in a flirty sexual way (naughty girl, spank) which tells her “ok this guy isn’t lame”, thus the ioi.

      She probably likes it rough but she’s just shit-testing you a bunch. One of those girls who’ll argue for the sake of not agreeing lol usually means the sex will be good/passionate “hate-fuck” style sex when you do get the lay.

      I think you can fuck her, so pursue it if you’re into her. Stick to the cocky dominant asshole, she responds to that. I would say you don’t need to do much to get her to meet up, she seems up for it already so spending hours sexting her might cockblock you more than anything (trigger her ASD). I would keep things lightly sexually flirty with the occasional dip into super sexual, but then back off on it. Show you can cross the line but aren’t desperate enough to have to stay there. She sounds like the type that would rather you just meet up and escalate in person than play gay txting escalation games, because she gives so much shit…usually that type is the “show me don’t tell me” type (vs a “nicer” girl where you’d need to escalate slowly via txt more).

      If you meet up with her, grab her and get in her space and greet her with a make out, that’s the type she probably responds to. You would disappoint her if you met up for a traditional date and were a polite gentleman.

      Also as much as I gave the ???!?!?!! up above to canceling lol that was actually a good move. She was getting you to meet her on her territory. Never ever ever meet her on her territory before you’ve had full-out sex with her.

      Is she going to pick a place where she doesn’t know anyone and can slut it up like a whore? Or is she going to pick a place where she’s socially proofed and high value and has a bunch of friends to save her if you’re lame and a bunch of orbiters to make you jealous and test you with etc?

      So canceling was good. In her defense you created that situ with “I’ll think of a spot” and giving her the opportunity to suggest a spot and then going along with her choice. Something like “k I’ll meet you at Blah on the west side.” where Blah is a good place you can escalate with good logistics and ideally some social proof for you but if not then at least a place where you’re both anonymous strangers so she can let loose.

      This is part of why PUAs tend to have very specific repeatable “Day 2″ scenarios…take her here where the staff know you, then to here to get such and such then here where a reason to go back to his place is then here and oh we’re just a couple blocks from my place lets drink there instead of wasting our money at this bar etc etc. So when they say lets meet up they don’t have to still think of a place. They already have 3 or 4 options that they’ve planned out will lead to good logistics for sex. :)

      if I was you I would give this chick another go and pick a place where you’ll look like a boss that’s not too hard for her to get to and just make sure you’ll be meeting up on your territory. Also txt her some cocky/funny shit and naughty flirting like you’ve been doing.

      She’ll be a good lay lol she’s clearly comfortable with sex etc, probably a freak in bed. Love that type lol

      Good luck! You did good in general, you’re leading/dominating the frame way more now.

Economic Game Theory Support For Male Relationship Coyness

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 3, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Original Link

Ok but what about if I wanna bang “taken” girls? I have this girl in my class who lives with her bf. I just wanna bang her, she does not need to leave him if she does, great! I dont wanna get beat up (again)

so how should one handle this? Super duper, black ops indirect? (she is a Russian immigrant) or go direct, since you know she has a boyfriend?

  • YaReally
    on December 3, 2012 at 5:54 pm
    Original Link

    Tell her you have a girlfriend. Then it’s okay for her to cheat on her boyfriend because you’re cheating on your girlfriend and don’t feel bad about it, so you aren’t judging her and she won’t feel bad about cheating on her boyfriend. She’ll also know that you won’t get clingy and fuck her relationship up with her boyfriend because you already have a girlfriend, so you’re automatically 100% in the “just casual sex” relationship zone.

    I’ve had a framed photograph of my GF on my nightstand for almost a year now and it’s actually helped me lay taken girls (“ya, I’m taken too, but we’re out of the honeymoon stage and our sex life has kind of died down so she knows that I play around on my own time because we both know it’s natural to eventually want to explore sex with other people, you know what I mean?”) and set up a casual fuckbuddy frame (“sorry, no dates, I already have a girlfriend and I love her, but god you turn me on, we should do this again sometime”)…which I’m sure is the opposite effect of what she expected giving me the photograph would do lol

    As soon as a girl tells me she has a boyfriend I mention being in an open relationship. The girl is always cheating because she doesn’t have an open relationship, but she feels free to cheat with me because she knows I won’t judge her.

    I’ve actually told a couple girls “If you break up with your BF, you will never hear from me again.” because I don’t want them to break up with their BF thinking they’re going to seriously date me (it happens and it fucks the dynamic up and creates the “Ultimatum” where I have to either date her or she leaves).

    • YaReally
      on December 3, 2012 at 6:37 pm
      Original Link

      Well I was posting more for other guys reading this in similar situations because you in particular are going to fuck it up, I can tell you that just from your posts lol No offense, it’s just you’re shitting where you eat, which is going to blow up in your face for sure.

      Have you even talked to her yet? Do you know anything about how she feels about her boyfriend? Do you guys even have a flirty vibe together? Do you know what, about her boyfriend, she’s unsatisfied with? Have you and her hung out together alone at all? Can you get other girls? Why are you going after a girl in your class that you know is not only taken but LIVING with the guy she’s with? Why are you risking getting your ass kicked by her boyfriend? Do you have other girls? Can you get other girls?

  • Days of Broken Arrows
    on December 4, 2012 at 1:59 am
    Original Link

    I’ve addressed this and have had several agree with my idea. You have to find a backdoor.

    First things first: if a woman is taking to you regularly, she’s already looking for a way out of her relationship or at least a vacation. Women who are really into their guys will shut you down asap.

    That said, the phone works here if she lives alone or with roomates. Do a late nite convo or two to find out why she feels her b/f is coming up short. Usually it’s that it’s not “hot.” All girls have a pervy side — play on that. When you start discussing things like pervy porn you and her find on the internet wait for her to say something like “I could never discuss this with my b/f!” Using the pervy sex as your bait, that’s when you reel her in.

    Results may vary; use your own judgement as to what her boundaries are. But I will say, I have found quite a few women are into S&M and will not discuss it or do it with “respectable” b/f’s but will mess with it when it comes to a-hole players. This goes for watching the kind of porn she heard about but never sees too. Invite her over to watch the stuff, then enjoy the ride.

    Just don’t go riding in expecting to be the white knight who is gonna save her from Mr. Boring. That never works. She already has Mr. Boring. You need to be Mr. German Porn Guy.

    • YaReally
      on December 4, 2012 at 4:22 am
      Original Link


      Kinkiest sex I’ve had has been with taken girls because they don’t want to risk scaring off their long-term investments/providers with their fucked up fantasies and once they find a safe non-judgemental sexual guy to let loose with, the flood-gates of sexual depravity open wide.

      A single girl will hold back a bit because you’re technically potentially a possible long-term partner, so especially if you’re awesome in other categories (like being rich) she’s subconsciously trying to avoid triggering the Madonna/whore complex she worries you might have, and risking not being in the running for being your girlfriend.

      This is also why massively disqualifying yourself as a Provider is key. I purposely let my place get messy instead of cleaning it up for when girls come over and leave a condom wrapper on the ground etc. If I had a 6-figure job, I would lie and tell girls I work at McDonald’s. If I had a car I would tell girls I don’t.

      When you’re awesome and charismatic and attractive to a girl (aka you have Game) but she can’t categorize you as a Provider because as far as she can tell you have too many downsides to be anything “serious” (aka she thinks you’re a go-nowhere bum with no potential), she doesn’t care about whether you think she’s a slut or not and you unlock freakier sex.

    • YaReally
      on December 4, 2012 at 5:38 pm
      Original Link

      “Care to elaborate why would you hide being rich or high status?”

      1) It makes you easier to Google. :P Some of the shit I do, I don’t want a girl to be able to type in “CityName, ExcitingJob, YaReally” and be like “oh look, there’s the 3 businesses he started up. He did me in the bum and never called me back so I’m going to fuck up his professional reputation because I’m a crazy bitch! And maybe I’ll show up at his office!”

      2) It’s easier. If I seem like a shitty provider, I only have to put in minimal effort to come off like a player, because my general lifestyle (to her) says “not a provider”. If I seem like an amazing provider, I have to put more work into making it clear that I’m a player, because my general lifestyle (to her) says “this guy would be a great provider if you could just convince him to settle down with you”.

      3) It also helps re-enforce in my head that that shit doesn’t matter. A guy who learns to attach his success with women to his fancy car and mega mansion, if he loses them or doesn’t have a way to demonstrate them, can lose his confidence because he doesn’t have reference experiences of getting girls without that stuff so he can feel inadequete in terms of women until he has them. I could be rich, 6-packed, and live in a mansion or I could be poor, fat, and live in my parents’ basement and I would have the same confidence with women.

      Note that there are guys that wouldn’t be affected by that (generally guys who had success with women before becoming rich, VS the type that was rich before they were successful with women), but I’m talking in generalities and my own mindset since you asked.

      4) Because I re-enforce that mindset, anything I do in terms of earning money, working out, buying a fancy car, etc. I do 100% for myself because I’m purposely not using it to try to get girls. I could be sitting on a pile of money, but that money would be earned because I wanted it, not because I hoped it would get me girls, which is the unfortunate mindset most Betas running the rat race and hitting the gym daily come from. “If I just get 2% less body fat maybe I’ll get a girlfriend!! :'( :'(”

      5) “Or would you do it just for the fun?” – Also that. lol

on December 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Original Link

“And, in support of the game theory take on seduction, the women I have dated who have been the most exasperatingly, head over heels, obsessed with me have been those women I dragged my feet with the most.”

True that. The goal should then be to remind yourself of those behaviors you did with the girls you weren’t crazy about (but were crazy about you) and use those on the girls you are crazy about. Fake it until you make it.

What are the best ways to signal to a girl that you are dragging your feet in order to get her crazy about you?

I would like to hear from the experienced commenters on some ways to communicate this to your woman. It’s easy to do with the ones you don’t actually want to be with so there is probably a well of information we could draw upon and use that on the higher-value chicks we think are worth pursuing.

With Girls like that I have:

1) Called them after midnight on a THUR, FRI, or SAT and let her think she was a booty-call
2) Try not to bring her around your group of friends
3) Never call to check up or see how she’s doing.
4) ???

  • avd
    on December 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm
    Original Link

    Communicate it through your spiritual existence. Gravity. Increase the intensity and concentration of your internal (masculine) energy. (What YOU want; NOT what the feminine imperative wants.) That is the mammalian way. That is what attracts mammalian females. That is what “game” ultimately distills to. Try it at a club or bar: the more intense and concentrated your spiritual self, the more girls will approach, as does (female deer) do during rutting season. The PUA approach is a facsimile of biology, at its core the exact opposite of what actually attracts females. Go through the PUA experience if that is your path, but realize that in the end, it is biology, not psychology, that ultimately gets the lay.

    • YaReally
      on December 3, 2012 at 6:02 pm
      Original Link

      lol I always wonder what guys like you look like at the “club or bar” being your concentrated spiritual self waiting for girls to approach you looks like.

      No offense or anything, but like, do you just stare at the wall in front of you intensely increasing the concentration of your internal gravity for 4 hours till the ugly lights come on at last call? lol

      The PUA approach involves being fun and outgoing and social, which is why people are at bars and clubs to begin with. But hey, keep doing your thing if it works for ya!

    • YaReally
      on December 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm
      Original Link

      That is an excellent way to only be able to choose from the women who choose you first, instead of being able to choose the women you want and get them.

      But if you’re happy with that, that’s cool man. You don’t have to talk shit about guys that want more than what they’re handed.

    • YaReally
      on December 4, 2012 at 4:28 am
      Original Link

      “talk shit to this community.”

      Just the guys who don’t go out and the old Keyboard Jockeys lecturing new guys with their theories on modern dating while their fat asexual wives and mail-order foreign hooker-brides are upstairs.

      I have nothing but the utmost respect for the guys who are actually out there trying to get their shit handled. That’s why I try to help when guys post their Field Reports.

    • YaReally
      on December 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm
      Original Link

      haha awesome, that must’ve taken forever!

  • YaReally
    on December 3, 2012 at 6:31 pm
    Original Link

    Here’s how I treat/keep casual fuckbuddies:

    – never meet or ask about her friends, don’t even remember their names

    – never EVER meet or ask about her family, don’t even remember their names

    – never go to her work functions (like an office xmas party, tell her you’re busy with something that night, but that she should txt you when the party gets boring so you can meet up later and check her out all done up)

    – never go on dates, out for food, etc. (unless you’ve just banged and you’re getting breakfast together)

    – only see her once a week, twice absolute max if she’s a good girl, but then throw in a couple weeks of not seeing her here and there

    – make every conversation sexual, you’re not the guy she talks about her new puppydog with or complains about work and how Jenny at the office is such a bitch because such and such, she can talk to her friends or asexual orbiters about that stuff, your relationship only exists in a sexual context

    – don’t add her to Facebook, don’t post on her wall/photos, etc.

    – don’t reply to every txt

    – txt her drunk

    – don’t invite her out with your friends, and if you happen to run into her when you’re out, spend minimal time with her until later in the night when you’re going to take her home

    – never go to see her, make her come to see you (I don’t have a car, which actually works in my favor lol). Part of this is so that she always feels like she’s the guest in your world (ie – she’s expendable), and part of it is because when you go to a girl’s place and into her bedroom she wants to share “her world” with you and now you’re stuck looking at her scrapbook of her and her friends from high school and listening to her favorite CD and blah blah which is all super but it creates too much of a bond and will make her clingy.

    – don’t show her your “stuff”…if she notices pictures on your wall or asks about shit around your bedroom, give a brief answer/story, but don’t voluntarily share “your world” with her. Don’t build that bond where she knows you.

    – avoid giving her much personal info. Don’t tell her your last name if you can avoid it. Don’t tell her what you do for a living, or at least be vague about it. Don’t tell her where you work. Don’t tell her about your friends, family, personal problems, etc.

    – when she shows up, fuck her immediately. Look her up and down slowly and sexually as soon as you see her, and say hello by pinning her against the wall and making out with her. Don’t sit around watching movies and cooking dinner together etc. You CAN do that, but I don’t recommend it and if you do it, do it in exteremely small doses. If you “just use her for sex” 6 times in a month, and one of those times you have a nice evening dinner, that’s not an instant death blow. She’ll feel like there’s potential and start thinking about you as a boyfriend, but as long as after that is another month of just sex, you might be alright. But if you have 4 dinner/movie evenings together in a month, you are headed to boyfriend territory.

    – lots more I can’t think of off the top of my head lol I’ve been doing this a while so most of this is pretty natural/sub-conscious to me now.

    The main frame you want to be coming from, and all these things re-enforce, is:

    Hanging out with me is escaping to a fantasy world of sex. I’m her dirty little secret txting her sexual things while she’s at work surrounded by people who think she’s an innocent angel. I’m her escape from another boring night with her insignificant other. I’m not her friend, I don’t care about her life and don’t want her to care about mine, all I exist for is to whisk her away on a sexual adventure where she can forget about all the bullshit of her real day to day life and let loose all her fantasies and desires for a few hours and then return to the “real world”.

    When you start meeting her friends, watching movies together, going for dinner, listening to her work problems, etc. you stop being that escape and you become a part of her “real world” that she then has to juggle and manage and fit into the puzzle of her life. You want to not even be a part of that puzzle, you’re the exception, the escape from that puzzle.

    And the main thing I’ve found with casual fuckbuddy relationships is that it’s basically like a roll of toilet paper lol At the end of that roll is “the Ultimatum” where she’s attached to you and the pain of not being in an actual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you outweighs the pleasure of you two hooking up and she has to force you into the “Either we’re BF/GF or I can’t see you anymore” Ultimatum.

    Now the stuff I list up above takes, say, one square of toilet paper at a time off the roll. But when you, say, invite her over and make her dinner and watch a movie together, even if it’s followed by epic sex, you’ve just yanked that roll of toilet paper and like 5 or 6 sheets came off. If you pull back to just sex stuff, that’s cool, you’re back to just one paper at a time, but the damage has been done in terms of the length of the roll. If you yank a handful of sheets at a time too frequently, the stuff up above starts being 2 or 3 sheets at a time instead of just one because you’ve fucked with the casual dynamic too much.

    There are anomalies of course, like some girls are extra large rolls of paper. And you can reset the roll in certain circumstances. And some things you do will yank more paper off than others, but basically the thing to keep in mind is that you can’t go backward and put paper back ON the roll, so understand that every action you take is bringing you closer to the end of the roll and The Ultimatum.

    This has been my experience, at least lol

    This is also why I roll my eyes at guys who want to have a girlfriend but don’t want to “be obsessed with sex” and try to fuck a girl right away. It’s SO easy to turn a girl you’re fucking into a girlfriend. You just do some shit that yanks the fuck off that roll (see her more than once a week, do something nice for her after treating her like shit for a while, etc. etc.) and jump right to the Ultimatum. Done, easy, enjoy. The hard part is keeping things CASUAL without them ending lol

on December 3, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Original Link

So for guys who’ve found a girl they’d like an LTR with, what’s the appropriate point to say so? Somewhere between the first few fucks and her eventual “is this just sex?” talk seems good.

  • immoralgables
    on December 3, 2012 at 3:37 pm
    Original Link

    Wait for her to bring it up to you. Don’t be all needy and requiring to put a label you got going on with this girl.

    Spin plates. Keep cherishing your freedom and her let bring that talk up with you.

    • YaReally
      on December 3, 2012 at 6:40 pm
      Original Link


      She’ll bring it up, and you should trust that you’re high value enough that of COURSE she’ll bring it up.

      Then you can just make it seem like it’s a tough internal battle blah blah “you know, I like being single, I’ve been single for a while and it’s been a blast…but lately when I’m out and I meet other girls, I find myself comparing them to you and I’m just kind of like “meh…this girl’s boring.” and wondering what you’re up to. It’s really weird, it’s like you’ve hijacked my brain…I don’t know what to think about that yet (etc. etc.)” (“brain hijack” routines are classic Mystery Method)

on December 4, 2012 at 11:31 am
Original Link

There is a big fallacy, or at least an assumed premise, to this game-theory argument: that a man cannot convey his interest in looking for a relationship without indicating lower value. This is incorrect and inconsistent with the principles of frame control.

An objectively attractive male (status, looks, career, charisma) should have no trouble evaluating females as possible mates. Of course you don’t approach interactions with the mindset of “oh gee, i hope you’ll be my girlfriend”, just as a man looking for sex should not convey the mindset of “oh please have sex with me.”

In my very limited experience, a well-placed question/neg that conveys you are evaluating the worth/virtue of a woman (or questioning it), puts the woman in an immediately submissive role. She will attempt to qualify herself to you. She may be hesitant to give you a same-night drunken lay, but when you do get naked with her, she will give a worthy performance. Once a woman concludes that you are high value, and that she has a shot as a legit gf, she will often give excellent oral and present well for doggy.

Again, context is everything. If you’re a younger man, a college student renting an apartment or something, then this type of approach is not playing to your strengths. But if you are middle aged/older and successful, I can report that I have had some succes with this approach. But YOU CANNOT BE NEEDY. If you drop frame and show incongruency for a second, you will likely be perceived as pathetic. In my own experience, I don’t have that problem because I’m acting congruent with what I actually want. And if a girl flakes or doesn’t indicate an interest in qualifying herself, then I move along to the next one. But in my experience, even the sluttiest girls feel that deep down they are a pure princess/wife material for the right man that comes along.

  • YaReally
    on December 4, 2012 at 5:49 pm
    Original Link

    “She may be hesitant to give you a same-night drunken lay, but when you do get naked with her, she will give a worthy performance. Once a woman concludes that you are high value, and that she has a shot as a legit gf, she will often give excellent oral and present well for doggy.”

    This is true, but unfortunately it’s usually a short-term reward. She’ll perform like a rockstar, but you’ll get “The Ultimatum” (I have to be your exclusive girlfriend or else I can’t do this anymore”) MUCH faster.

    You’ll also piss them off a LOT more when, faced with The Ultimatum, you DON’T make them your GF lol Because then she thought she had a chance and now it’s either that there’s something wrong with her which leads to her bawling her eyes out and ending up more insecure and psychologically fucked up, or that you’re an asshole liar horrible person and she smashes your car windows in for using her like that and all her friends and family hate you and want to kick your ass.

    But I do agree with what you’re saying, there is a way to be looking for a relationship from a place of high value. It can just be more drama than it’s worth to put it out in the open. :)

  • YaReally
    on December 4, 2012 at 5:51 pm
    Original Link

    Relevant clip for whenever my Reply to you finally shows up lol:

on December 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Original Link

Ok, so here’s a recovering beta question, I’ve been thrown off seduction tracks in the past when, in the bedroom, pre sexy time, the girl’s various ASD rises. “I don’t do this without commitment” or “I only do this with special people.”

[Heartiste: “Do what?”

Call her bluff. She’ll stammer.

Then say “Where is your mind?”]

Stops (stopped) me in my tracks many times. I suppose it’s ok to sled on and not worry about it or is there a way to get the kill without losing good guy points?

[The usual advice, and which I agree with, is to verbally agree with her while nonverbally pushing toward a coital conclusion. If that doesn’t work, ignore her ASD and go do something else while she stews on the bed. The trick is to do it without seeming like you’re pissed at her.]

Pope Paul VI On Birth Control Externalities

Original Link

via Heartiste

on December 2, 2012 at 11:39 pm
Original Link

Great stimulating and unique ideas and interconnections about the SMP, I now only fear a return to the early-junior-high ideas-I-got-from-my-redneck-dad level political “discussion”, with its wincingly moronic breakdown of culture into two–count ‘em, two– variables.

This place really has something of the idiot-savante flavor, like Neil Young having one of the most sustained songwriting careers, but embarrassingly babbling on and on on Charlie Rose about a car that will never have to be refueled.Something he is fascinated with, but is simply beond his knowledge and expertise.

CH instigates it, but the hangers-on are ruthlessly stupid and vicious well past the point of tolerability.

Everybody ready for those special, blinding insights? All together now? “Leftie – kill, libtard-kill, ….”

  • Greg Eliot
    on December 3, 2012 at 12:12 pm
    Original Link

    Funny how it’s more than a given cliche, a universal truism, that kids rebel against their parents and pretty much don’t listen to them at all in matters cultural and political.

    Yet when it comes to those who haven’t swallowed the PC bait… hook, line, and sinker… those ‘redneck’ and ‘fascist’ views were somehow “learned at home”, according to our wise liberal friends.

    Everybody ready for those special, blinding insights? All together now: “NAHZEE! RAYCISS! YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS!”

    • YaReally
      on December 3, 2012 at 2:41 pm
      Original Link

      “I was reading a few older threads recently and all I know is that before you showed up, the racist and bigoted comments weren’t the norm here.”

      This. A few months back this comment section was worth reading. I’ve considered not posting anymore in general because I just don’t care to keep sifting thru the same garbage even in articles that have nothing to do with race.

      When every article about race/politics/religion ends up with 200 comments arguing about “Niggers ‘n Jews”, and every article about Game ends up with 200 comments arguing about “Niggers ‘n Jews”, it’s hard to really call this a Game blog anymore, and helping men learn Game was the only reason I started posting.

    • YaReally
      on December 3, 2012 at 5:39 pm
      Original Link

      PDF sounds awesome lol, feel free to post the link. I tried starting a wordpress account a while back because I was hoping there was a way to easily/automatically get it to post the threads/comments I participate in to the blog so people who want to read my shit could just easily find it all in one spot but couldn’t find a way to do that and I do a lot of my posts from my phone while I’m taking a dump etc. so cutting and pasting threads manually is just too much of a time sink for me.

      Wish there was a solution to this, some kind of “duplicate this thread to my blog” option when a wordpress account is posting on a wordpress blog.

      I like posting here and at Rational because I don’t really care about coming up with ideas for articles, I just like delving into concepts CH/Rollo bring up. But when you can’t have a single Game article not get derailed with a dozen race-bait flame wars it’s like are there even any gamers reading the site anymore?

      I don’t post for the guys arguing about jews and lib-tards because I know those guys are never going to do anything significant with their lives, that’s why I don’t participate in those waste of time exchanges. I post my shit for the guys lurking here looking to better their lives through learning Game and understanding sexual/social dynamics because there’s still hope for them to turn their life around the way I did and do something good either for themselves or for others once their life no longer feels depressing, frustrating, and hopeless.